wellRED podcast - #261 - I Before E Except After Eurkaine!

Episode Date: March 2, 2022

This week Trae and Corey discuss the growing conflict in Ukraine and discuss which American Comedian they think would be fit to lead like Zelensky is. Also I Before E except after c is bullshit and Trae explains why!Athletic Greens is going to give you a FREE 1 year supply of immune-aupporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit athleticgreens.com/WELLRED to take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance.Join hundreds of thousands of guys who have made the simple decision to elevate their wardrobe with CUTS.Get 15% off your first order by going to CutsClothing.com/WELLRED.

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And now on with the show. How about it? They're the red next day like cornbread. but sex they care way too much but don't give a fun. They're the next that makes some people upset, but they got three big old dicks that you can suck. The thing about those fees when it comes to like ticket master and shit is that like I think a handful of people like me and you know,

because we're in the biz, like I know when I go by them, I'm like, yeah, well, this isn't really the artist, it's just what they do. But like, it doesn't worry me. and bother me that people are like, damn, look at these guys charging all this much. And we're not right. No. Yeah. Just so people know, like, we've got Knoxville coming up this Saturday.

It's very good to sold out. Thank you, Knoxville. There's like literally five or six tickets left. So if you're listening at this and you want to check it out, hurry up and do so. But we were just talking about how, like, you go to the website, you click through and their tickets are being sold through Ticketmaster. And the base price for every ticket on there is $36 plus fee. Well, just so everybody knows, $36 is not the cost of our tick.

That's not the cost that we set. That's not the cost of it. We and the venue split with each other. Every show we ever have done or do, the standard ticket is $25. We've never changed that and don't have any intention on changing it. And it says $36 plus fees, which I feel like implies, $36, this is what the artist charges. Then we're going to add our fees on top of that. But that's bullshit.

They've already added some kind of fees, and then they add more fees on top of that, and it ends up being almost like 100% markup. And I just want everybody to know that everybody who does live performance of any kind is really sick of this shit. And we're at the mercy of them. There's nothing you can do about it. They've got us over a barrel. There's like nothing we can do about it, and they're fully taking advantage of the situation.

And just so everybody knows that. We're sorry about it, but not really anything that we're. we can do but it sucks maybe maybe one day we'll be big enough to where we we like have our own platform a way of selling tickets and stuff like that but at the how it is now it's just like however the venue does it that's how that happens and yeah it it unnerves me because like again I feel like because people have bitched about ticket master so much everybody now kind of knows like oh it's them it's not the artist but I had somebody message me one time And they came in hot, dude.

They came in hot. They were like, who the fuck do you think you are? And I'm sitting there and I'm like, well, where is this going? And they screenshot at a thing where like tickets to see us or something. They were trying to get tickets. It was like $100 something dollars. And I was like, that's not, you really think that that's how much we charge. Like, it's bullshit.

But like, I don't know, man. Sometimes they just like, I guess what happens is like these fuckers will. What was, what was that on like a? reselling side or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like somebody had gone and bought all our tickets. And that also, I feel like that doesn't happen to us as much, but that's basically just like predatory scalpers and shit.

And that has happened to us before. And that also is fucking super hoarse shit. Yeah. People do that. People do that with like PlayStation 5s and shit too. You know, they buy them all up and then mark them up like crazy and resell them and all that shit or be illegal. It might, maybe it is illegal.

but people just get away with it. Yeah, I think it's definitely illegal. But, well, long story short, if you are out there and you ever see our tickets and they're more than fucking $25 or $30, that wasn't us. And we're sorry about it, but there's not really anything we can do. Yeah, basically. But hey, Knoxville sold out, baby, and I can't wait to be there. It's going to be super fun. And then we're on a little break.

And then April, we got a pretty full calendar. We're going to be in Portland. we're going to be in Little Rock and Bentonville, Arkansas. Yeah, where in Louisville, Kentucky. And I can tell you right now, those are four hotbeds for us. So if you want to go, you need to go ahead and grab them tickets at well-redcom. All them some bitches are going to sold out, especially goddamn Bentonville, son, hot city for the well-red comedy tour.

Absolutely. I'm a Walmart, baby. That's right, baby. We, you know, Walmart brand comedians over here. Great value. Have you figured out what that, like, because you would think, oh, the place that's the home of Walmart, you would think maybe that city would be a certain way, but we do really well there. Do you think it's because, like, because those people live in Walmart Central, they're just like, uh, anything but this. Oh, the liberal rednecks are here.

Awesome. Thank God. Man, I don't know. I have no idea. I know that they've got, because of Walmart, they've got a bunch of, like, I know there's like a huge museum or art. or both. They got galleries and all this type of wild shit there because all Walmart just buys it and puts it there. Yeah.

So that's cool. So they got like different types of things. I love Bentonville. Yeah, I do too. Yeah. But I don't know. I don't have an explanation for why we hit, you know, anywhere, really.

No, me either. Hell. Hey, we're not, though. We're not the most popular comedians on the planet. I'll tell you what? There are not. No, I'm trying to use that as a segue into World War III.

Matter of fact, the most, inarguably, the most popular comedian on the planet right now is President Zelensky. Am I wrong? You're not wrong, for sure. And it's, okay, listen,

I've got some mixed feelings about that whole thing because, like, me too. I always felt like, like in America, when, you know, like Donald Trump, he was a reality TV star.

We elected a reality TV star, and it was all just like, what the fuck are we doing? Because somebody actually knows what they're doing, not a fucking reality TV star. It's ridiculous. And there were movies. Isn't that Robin Williams movie, Man of the Year? Yeah. You remember that? Rob Williams, yeah.

Wasn't that the premise of that movie? He was like a John Stewart type or a comedian type or something who actually became the president. And it's like played for life. There was also one of those movies made in the Ukraine. And he played it, I know. He played it. I know. So what I'm saying is up until this dude who I think rules, just like everybody else,

this dude's a fucking G, I think he's doing an awesome job. He's super hits for me. But up until this dude, like I 100% would have shit on the notion of the thing that he is. Like if you told me free of con or just somewhere in the world, they had a comedian who played a very popular character and a popular show who was a comedian who somehow became the president. And it was a sitcom. And then they made him to real life president.

I would have said to you, that's fucking ridiculous. Everybody would not even, not even we would do some shit like that. I don't think, you know. And then we did. But, but he's like,

I mean, yeah, he's awesome. So it makes a real case for that type of thing. Yeah. It's not like he, you know, he was also a lawyer. That's true. And I've also seen people point out through.

I also have a son of a bitch to be a leader. I've also seen it pointed out by people that he was, or that I don't know, I'm, you know, I'm Ukraine dumb. I don't know enough about. I'm Ukraine or I'm dumb too. But I've heard it say, I've read on the internet. that their president is a different kind of thing than our president, too. Well, you mean? He's like the head of state, not the head of government.

Like, you know how there's like, like, different places have, I don't know what ministers and shit. Yeah. I feel like he's like, I mean, again, I don't know. I'm speaking out of turn here. I just saw people saying that. They were like, people need to understand that the Ukraine president is not, it's different than like the president of the United States. He's not the, so it's like it's still hits, though. it does hit, but I'm saying, like,

I feel like he's more of a sort of like, like a PR thing or something, which he really, which he really hits at. I was going to say, we need to start looking into some of that shit then. Well, however, they're doing it, that's a good look, just having, like, so basically, like, they've got the person that's in charge,

but they're like, okay, but let's, how about we try this motherfucker out in front of people? Because, like, we could, we could stand to do that sometimes. You know what I mean? like if America also had an election for like who our mascot was going to be, I think that would go a long way. Like just let's have the rock do that, you know, and let, I don't know,

fucking Noam Chomsky run the fucking run everything. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, right. So I don't, again, I'm trying to like read up on this right now, but it's like, you know, it's a lot of stuff. Yeah.

A lot of politics stuff. But they've got a president and they've got a prime minister. And it says the prime minister is Ukraine's head of government. Okay. So like- What's head of state mean? Like, what is that? I've always heard that, but I was like, okay, I just, I don't know what that means.

The president serves to represent the country and government as a whole and not any specific branch of government. But he doesn't govern? He just kind of- The president is barred by the country. Constitution from heading a political party. So he, oh,

so he's not like Republican, Democrat or nothing. He just, he surely had some kind of platform, but once you get elected, maybe you have to, you know, um,

be amazing if we'd read this before. I know, that's what I'm saying. It's like I'm trying to sort of figure it out now on the fly. No, that's fine, though. I mean,

it's hard to do. I'm super interested in this shit. He's just seen, like, this is the type of dude. Like, we're in a moment right now. Um,

that feels very much to me like... I don't know, man. I mean, based on what I'm reading on here, I mean, it sounds like he's got a lot of power and authority. It's like... I mean, you don't just call a motherfucker the president. Yeah, well, I mean, I could see in some countries the president is kind of a figurehead and whatnot.

Like, I know that in some of those Middle Eastern companies, they're like, they'll have a president, but they're like the fucking supreme Ayatollah or whatever. is really the person that runs the show. And you can make the argument. Yeah. That was always, by the way, when I was a kid, it was always told to me and us, like as little Southern babies,

that that's how, that's pretty much, that's pretty much how America's run. You know, like it was because of the checks and balances and the judicial system and the executive branch or everything, they were always just kind of like, yeah, the president's just like the guy at the top. He's kind of just the mascot. but realistically all the decisions are being made by blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And I think people use that as a way to like be very apolitical until, you know, Barack Obama. And then all of a sudden it really, really, really mattered to them who was the president. But before I remember, they were like, yeah, I mean, with Congress and Senate, that's what, with all that, the president don't really mean shit. So, I mean, again, look at, from what I'm reading on here, it seems like it's the, that I cannot believe that that comment I read on. Reddit was some bullshit. Right, right, right. It seems like it was half true. The statement, the president, there's the head of state, not the head of government,

is factual. But, like, from what I'm reading, it looks like the president is definitely the more, like, you know, powerful and authoritative of the two. Like, they also do have a prime minister, but the president seems to be the dude. So, did they? I don't know. A tiny bit of an echo of myself, Moucho, if you're going to turn me down a little bit or something. Is it a regular election that they have? I mean, I think so. I don't know that. And I just

closed Wikipedia, so I'm not sure. I mean, everybody's talking about how democracy will prevail, you know, right? Like right now in this conflict. So I'd like to think so. But yeah, I mean, again, I feel like you couldn't really ask for any leader to do much better or hit much harder than he has so far, you know, staying there. I can't, like, dude, I would take it for granted that the president in this country or really any leader in any country would be holed up in a bunker somewhere far away. No, I mean, like, they wouldn't be there. Yeah, no.

It's happening. They would be in some. And frankly, I wouldn't blame them. Inside a mountain somewhere in a secret location, because I thought that's just what the president does in a situation like this. But this dude's like, just. Just on the fucking ground level, daring them to kind of get him. I mean, it's pretty fucking hardcore.

No, it's super hardcore. And, like, I'm all for it and it looks great. And, like, obviously, it's wonderful for morale and stuff. But I think right now I kind of wish, like, okay, but now go get somewhere. Because, like, dude, if he does die, it's going to be real bad. You know what I mean? For the whole situation, because, like, he is such a positive figurehead of all this. Yeah, but I mean, and I, look, I don't want to.

want that to happen, but like, that's how you get martyrs. That's true. Painting his face on all the walls and shit. You know what I'm saying? And like, uh, you know, people rally around stuff like that sometimes. Not that they need anything more to rally around. Right. Than fuck Putin.

Yeah. It's, uh, they've all their whole, their whole deal right now is like, I don't know, man, they don't take no shit. They're fucking. Are you crying? Yeah. They have taken not one bit of shit. They've got like, they're, like, they're,

fucking ambassador to the UN. That guy's a goddamn G too, man. Every single day, there's a new clip of that guy coming out where he's telling the Russian ambassador to the UN to go fuck himself in some new and exciting way. Like he told him, he was like, told him that Putin needs to just kill himself,

like that dude in the bunker in Berlin and whatnot. He told him, like, there's no purgatory for war criminals. They go straight to hell. and burning their friend he's just staring him right in eyes when he's saying all this shit too it's pretty it's pretty rad yeah i got to be honest with you i know who my number two is going to be for the next olympics and that's fucking ukraine like they've really they've really hit for me and i'm like you know like you were i'm pretty ukraine dumb but go fuck yourself seems to be the

semperfy of the ukraine because like it's not just them it was like then there was that when they were attacking snake island those people were like should without them to fuck themselves. Yes, just in case. Just in case. Fuck yourself, Russia. Yeah. And it's like, there's been like three or four moments already because like, you know,

not that like obviously the conflict, it's been leading up to this for a very long time. But like, as far as like it actually coming to a head, it's been going on pretty hardcore for about a week. And in that week, uh, there's already been like three or four things that have happened that if I had read about them in the history books from like a previous war, I would be like, well, this is definitely a, the winner's write the tale situation, because that sounds way too badass, but they legit fucking happened. Like we saw them happen. You know, like because of how Twitter and stuff works,

you're seeing what's going to be in the history books already laid out in real time, like the Snake Island thing, the hemp, dude, the most badass quote ever, I don't need a ride, I need ammunition. Holy fucking shit. That is gangster. If they'd have told me that Thomas Payne said some of that shit, I'd be like, I'm sure that Benjamin Franklin said he said that. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Yeah, no, I mean, yeah, it's like some Hollywood movie shit except they're really doing it. Yeah. I've also seen like everybody so, all right, so a few different things about this. First of all, apparently like Vladimir Putin, his number one fear for a long time is like a unified

Europe, right? Yeah. And so he decided, you know what I'm going to do is I'm going ahead and do a thing that unifies Europe. That's such a good point. Not a great idea. And then so everybody's super pro Ukraine right now. Like in this time, we're like, we've never been more divided. Everybody agrees, well, Russia don't hit right now.

Most everybody agrees. We got some lunatic outliers in this country who's like, no, Russia still hits, but they're still, they're very much outliers. Yeah. But everybody's pro-Ukraine. Everybody's on Ukraine side. And so that makes me worry about, like, bias and what we're seeing and what everybody wants to believe the same thing, which is that Ukraine is really doing this.

Right. You know, and it's like. So you're suggesting that maybe Ukraine don't hit? No, I'm not saying that. I'm saying that, like, they've done. definitely hit so far, but they still got a long way to go. Oh, right. And what you're saying is like, the way that we're seeing it right now, it's like,

man, this shit's going to be wrapped up, you know? Right. Yeah. And that ain't, that ain't going to happen, I don't think. No, this is still fucking Vladimir Putin, dog. Right. Everybody's loving what's going on with Ukraine and everything. We're all fired up about it.

That's so funny to say, but it's true. And everybody's like, dude, they're fucking really doing it. It's our favorite show right now. They're fucking whipping their ass, man, showing them what's what. everybody loves it. I love it too. But I'm saying it's like it ain't even close

to a done deal yet. No. And it's going to make it all to more fucking heartbreaking if it just keeps going, you know, if Russia just keeps on going. Because dude,

I feel like Putin will throw all and rushing grunts into the meat grinder to get this thing done. He don't give a fuck, man. He's not going quietly, you know, like he's getting,

and he's getting embarrassed right now, which is not something a guy like that, handles really well, but like not to get all raw, raw, we're number one, but like, no war is truly ever over until we show up and we ain't done that yet. And I'm sort of worried about when that does happen. Because right now, you know, you said like this is a very, it's a unifying moment. Like this feels, I'm careful my words here, because I don't want to just compare two things that, but like this feels like right after 9-11 when a bad thing happened.

happened and despite the fact that we've got Democrats and Republicans, everyone is like, okay, fuck them, you know? And unlike 9-11, this is something that's happening, but it's not really in our backyard. So we as Americans are able to right now feel like we can kind of talk to our neighbors again, you know, like right now I really do feel like I can go to mom and dad's house. and no matter what, I can just bring up Ukraine and everything's good. Like we're all just fuck Putin, fuck Russia, let's watch Rocky. You know, this is great.

You don't think either one of them would be like, well, I'll tell you what, Joe Biden ain't got a goddamn clue what's going on over there. He's fucked this whole thing up. No, but see, that's where I'm getting. That's where I'm getting with this. Because right now, no, and I thought that was going to be the case, but I was actually over there and they were both just like,

man, this little Zelensky dude, he's fucking awesome, blah, blah, blah. My point is, it's because we are, not like directly. We've sent aid, you know, we've sent money, but we don't have like, I don't think so. We don't have like boots on the ground and there hasn't been like an operation. Well, when we are probably,

not officially, but I would say almost certainly feeding them intelligence and information and satellite footage and that type of shit. But no, we have no like official military involved. When we do, when we do, it goes from

a war that we're just watching like a TV show to something that we're that we feel actively participating in and then it's Biden making these calls and then any right now any tiny thing goes wrong well that's just that's them that don't have shit to do with us but when we're involved it's Biden's fault and now granted to me at someone I'm sitting here going like you mean to tell me

that you think that if Donald Trump was in office that he would be doing better to combat fucking Vladimir Putin, his fucking boy. By the way, those aren't my words. He says that shit. Like, he fucking says that's his boy. So it was a thing throughout all of Trump's presidency that he was Putin's, you know, little bitch that him and Putin was like this.

All those shady connections between his campaign, his administration with Russia and all that. The Mueller report, it was all about Russia, right? And you know what most of Russia's, like, we all know, we focused on what Trump and them were getting out of it from Russia. They wanted dirt on Hillary Clinton. They wanted help winning the election, election interference, all that type of shit, right? There were people working under Trump that were making a lot of money off of it or whatever. But what Russia, what they were getting out of it at the time, in addition to other things. He was Barry and Zelensky.

was the whole time Russia's whole deal involved weakening Ukraine and eventually trying to take Ukraine. Like they were in exchange for the shit Trump was asking for, Russia was asking for them to like soften the U.S.'s stance on the occupation of Crimea or soften the sanctions related to what they've done in Ukraine or soften the language about what our response to an invasion to Ukraine would be. And they got a lot of that shit done. So I'm saying the whole time it was always geared for Russia towards being able to like take Ukraine. And Trump was 100% going along with it. Again, he praised how they went into Crimea. It's like, oh, that hits for Crimea. They love it.

Putin's a genius. And I mean, he literally said all that. I mean, I'm paraphrasing the words he used, but he literally said those things. And again, and it's been pointed out over and over at this point. But it bears repeating still. Trump got impeached twice. the second time for the January 6th shit. The first time he got impeached

was for withholding $400 million in military support to Zelensky and Ukraine and trying to extort them for dirt on Hunter Biden before he would give them to military aid. So like the idea that Trump would all the Republicans

would, it wouldn't have happened under Trump's watch and it's like, dude, I swear to God, I think if Trump was still the president, we would be like backing, Russia right now. Yes, I agree. It would be the whole rest of the Western world fucking agreeing Ukraine all the way and then it would be us and Russia because Trump is a dip shit. So like it fucking thank God for that. Yeah, I mean, I have no doubts that Biden can do some real fucking dumb shit going forward, you know, in this situation. But I definitely, I feel more comfortable

even with someone that's inadequate in war, maybe let's say Biden is, I still feel better with someone who at least isn't pro-Russia. That's all I'm saying. Like, I wouldn't mind if we had our own, we had a comedian running things, as long as they weren't pro-Russia. Hey, let's take a little break. Okay. Okay, we're back.

I mentioned just a second ago, I wouldn't mind if we had a comedian. running things over here. Obviously, I'm kidding. Because I'm real, you know, so many people, you see it all the time in our comments, oh, comedians are the real, they're the real brilliant people out there. They're the truth tellers, comedians.

You know, this is just things that people say to me and Trey all the time. You know what I mean? I don't know why I'm just saying. But I've always been like, y'all don't know what the fuck you're talking about. We are mostly bags of shit. mostly absolute bags of shit.

Like the George Carlin's are outliers. And even George Carlin probably would have told you, me, run the show. No. Definitely. No, I don't, I don't, we don't run the show. We comment on it. We are, we're here to, hey, number one, we're here to make people laugh. You could almost say end the story right there.

But if you want to get, if you want to get a little bit deeper into it, in my opinion, the thing that we're here for, if you want to get into the political sphere, is to be mouthpieces for the people to hold the people in charge accountable, maybe. But regardless, it's funny first, and then we can do that. But again, Zelensky's proven it wrong, but there's not really many comedians that I would be like, yeah, I would like them and a leadership role, aside from maybe a handful. And I would like me and you to try right now to come up with our top five comedians living, I'd like to say living, that we think maybe

could run the show. Is this irrespective of their like willingness to do it? Yeah. So like we're saying hypothetically we're forcing them into doing it and what kind of job would do? Because almost all of them I think would say

I don't want nothing to do with that. Of course, of course. We're forcing them into this. This is just like a comedian that we think we can see leadership skills in and maybe try to make a case for that. obviously, in my opinion,

it's like the top five that aren't John Stewart because that's like, that's your number one, you know, the guy's literally, going to come up, I think is John Stewart for sure. Yeah.

The guy's done more for 9-11 than any, the 9-11 survivors than any fucking elected official ever has. I feel like that, that man of the year movie, I think was like inspired by, because like John Stewart, people wanted him to run. him to run and everything when he was like still doing the daily show at the height of it and

whatnot and he wouldn't do it. And I think the whole man of the year thing was kind of like a take on that, if I recall correctly. But anyway, yeah, I mean, John Stewart, but I think that, again, he would never in a million years. But I think that Bill Burr would do a pretty good job, actually, because he's like a very, he's actually a really sensible dude. Yeah.

And like, I remember that whole thing when he got up Joe Rogan's ass for thinking mask or gay or whatever Rogan was saying, you know, and he was like, he would. Yeah. He went in this whole thing. He was like, you're not a fucking doctor. Like, these people are doctors.

I'm going to listen to the doctors because it's a plague we're talking about. I'm fully paraphrasing, but that was the gist of it. I'm saying, like, I think he would do that. Like, he would,

like, listen to the experts and shit. He's not the type of dude to, uh, be like overzealous and whatnot. You know what I mean? Like he's, it's so funny because coincidentally in his first like four specials,

he actually kind of, he kind of floated out his like presidential platforms in a lot of his specials and shit like that and one of them was that we he thought that we needed population control because there was just way too many fucking people and uh at one point what was it he wanted to do it was like a test to see whether you get to live or not and he's like uh he's like okay you're here if you didn't bring your pencil you're already out you're you fucking

got to go yeah i could see burr you know he's I think there's a lot of he would have a lot of Trump qualities where he would just be up there kind of winging it, just kind of going with the flow. But like you said, though, he's smart enough to listen to the experts. So that would be...

He also isn't going to be... I mean, you know, maybe he gets on a heater about fucking housewives or something. I don't know, maybe. But like, he's not... Like, he ain't going to be... Like, you talk about him winging it. Like, Trump,

it's not going to be in regards to fucking Mexican sending raping. rapist up here or fucking, you know, Muslims being terrorist or whatever. Like, it ain't going to be that type of thing. Well, honestly, I think we got it. I think Chris Rock might do okay. Yeah, Rock would do good. I think he's sensible and would listen to the, listen to the experts.

Not Rogan. No. No, I don't know. No, he seems to kind of believe whoever's in front of him in any given time. Yeah. you know, which is, uh, kind of like listening to the experts, but it's like, but he be listening to like quacks, too, though, right. Kind of the whole thing, you know, uh, from what I remember, like, I don't really remember

a clip, maybe it's because this clip wouldn't be popular, but like a clip floating around where like he had a Dr. Fauci type on. Like, usually it was like, for his show, he's like, yeah, we know what the experts think we're bringing on people from the fringe. I've talked about this before. I'm pretty sure on here, but it was a long time ago. This is true. He fucking, early on in the pandemic, very early on. Like, so early, it was before most people really understood what the fuck was about to happen, me included.

He had. Yeah, for those that don't know, it took Trey like four or five months. I had to convince Trey to wear a mask. He didn't believe in it. He thought it was fake. It wasn't four or five months, but I did not. No, I'm kidding. No, that's not.

When it was first happening, I 100, because like, dude, because I was like, we've had dope, like, swine flu, SARS, Ebola, bird flu. It feels like every few years, there's a new epidemic scare, right?

Yeah. But it never actually comes to fruit. and I thought COVID was just this year, or 2020's version of that at first. I was like, I was like, this happens all the time. But what I didn't fail to realize was that like we were not prepared in any way. The infrastructure had been taken away. Yeah, right. Swan flu happened under a competent regime.

So going back to what I was saying about Joe Rogan, early on he had this world-renowned epidemiologist on there. and this dude was not a quack and he was like respected and legit and I think that was the first time a lot of people myself included got their heads around

what yeah that was the first I listened to that and I was like oh shit man yeah this is like this is about to be a serious fucking problem and so like but that happened and then so you watch that's how Rogan used to be like dude you know for a long time I was a big Joe Rogan

apologists because like people would I would be like that's not if you it ain't like that with him okay like yes he has Alex Jones on that dude's a fucking lunatic you can't tell me it ain't entertaining if people are listening to those episodes and walking away from it being like you know I need to check that guy's

shit out it's like I don't know what to say to those people because I listen to it and he's talking about fucking Chinese mutant fucking sex humanoid human rights true human right all that shit and it's like if anybody hears that and that's a gateway into that sort of like ideology then that person's a fucking dip shit anyway and it ain't joe rogan's fault that's my opinion on that part of it but

but now they're buddies though i know i'm saying but he went over the course of covid covid happened and his ass moved to texas and it funny how that happens it is different now yeah like i like he he got he got further into all that shit than he used to be before. Like I tell, you know, again, I used to tell people all the times, like, you know, it's not, people got the wrong idea about Joe Rogan. And I really believed that. But, um, but since COVID over the past few years and like right now, I mean, no, I'm not going to say that anymore.

I feel like he got, uh, he got wrapped up in that whole deal and it's a bit of a different story at this point than it used to be. But yeah, man, it's, it's really funny. I've probably said on here before, but like, I, you know, I listened to the Joe Rogan experience in like the early days. All of us comedians did. It was like one of the first off, it was just one of the, at one point it was like, this is the only podcast there is.

You know, there's not many. Marin. Marin, yeah. Him and Marin were like for a while, basically the only two. Yeah. And so like, you know, constantly trying to have something in common with my dad that we can talk about. I tried for years to get my dad to listen to Joe Rogan. He's listening to Joe Rogan.

Dude, you would love this podcast. It's long for... And I tried so hard to get him to listen and fucking nothing. And now it's so funny because he'll be like, are you... Are you hearing this Joe Rogan guy? Yeah. Man, I'll tell you what.

This guy's making a lot of sense. And I'm like, God, damn it. Like, why couldn't you have listened when he was doing four-hour episodes with Leno and they were just talking about the mob? That was the shit. It was awesome. Yeah. Yeah, no, it used to really hit for me, too.

I never was like a every minute of every episode. No, because his episodes are fucking four hours long. Yeah. But I would like listen to parts of most of, anytime he had a comic on, I'd always check it out. I mean,

I listened to that show a lot for years. But I've long since stopped, though, because like I said, it took on a whole different, a whole different kind of feel for me in recent years. What else is, what else is going on in the war? You know more than me.

You do a news show. Even in skews, by the way, or weekly skews, excuse me. It's funny. This comes out on Wednesday, so it will have happened last night. But we're doing, later tonight, I'm doing skews. And so it's a bad time for me to say, like, I don't fucking know what's going on. Now, I feel like it's pretty well. People can tell, I think, at this point, it's a bit of an open secret for people that watch and listen to skews.

That Mark knows everything. Mark, Mark really sort of gets me through the whole thing. Like I, but for about an hour and a half before we're going to start, Mark has sent me things for me to learn about. And then I do. So which by the way is why whenever I guest co-host is wide open, boy. Right. So wide open.

Yeah, it's a lot much more like this than the skews normally is, which is fine. That also hits for me. But like, yeah, every week except for that two and a half hour window from pre-show skews and then doing skews. all the other hours of every week, I don't know anything. No, me either, me either. I don't know nothing. And for that two and a half hours,

I pack it all in based on what SmartMark has given me. And then I talk about it as though I know. Yeah, that's sort of the show, you know, but, but yeah, no, I don't know. I mean, I've been seeing shit on the war on the internet, just like everybody else has, but I don't know, like, what do you mean? Like, I don't know.

I just, you know, we talked about Zelensky and how badass he was, but like those are like all the, you know, like that's your front page stuff. But like, well, there's been, I don't even, I kind of don't know what the fuck is going on other than like, yeah, Putin wants that. Well, there's been a lot of reports of like, there's been a lot of reports. But again, I wonder sometimes like, like I said, there's a huge bias in the West right now, just pro-Ukraine. And I wonder if we're only seeing like the things we want to see, like the things that are getting shared around are the things that support whatever. Everybody wants to hear them. We need to read some Russian newspapers.

That's what we need to do. Well, they're going to do the exact opposite. No, I know, but I'd like to see what that looks like. But so with that, keeping that in mind, there's been a lot of like videos, clips, reports and stuff about Russian soldiers who have like deserted or laid down their weapons or refused to whatever because they didn't, because they didn't realize that they didn't realize what they were getting into a lot of them reportedly. like they didn't they were told it was a training exercise or most of them i think we're told that they were going to be welcomed by ukraine as liberators because that's their that's russia's whole line it's like we're going there to liberate ukraine so a lot of these soldiers thought yeah i can relate we can relate to that kid you're here thank god you're here and then when

that didn't happen reportedly a lot of them were like oh this doesn't hit you know it doesn't seem to hit for them that no and uh so like there was these two guys who had like a Russian tank or like armored vehicle and they ran out of gas because that's nothing too. It seems like the logistics of the Russian army are pretty pissed poor. They're fucking it up. So they ran out of gas and they went into a Ukrainian police station and said, we're from Russian army. Can we have guests? Right.

And they were like, what the fuck you? No. Hell no. Still. And they just arrested. them and took pictures of them and posted them on the internet and at first a lot of people were like god what dumbasses but then so other people started saying and i'm kind of into this they were like i bet they did that on purpose like i bet they were they were like this is a way to get out

of this bullshit conflict or i don't have to kill nobody and i'm not going to get killed and i'd rather be taken prisoner than like continue along with this shit yeah there's been like a lot of reports of that type of stuff, which also hits for me. But again, dude, I'm trying not to buy too much into all that, because I don't want it to then just end up being a deal where, you know, Zelensky gets murked and whole guys slowly at the hands of fucking Russia. Because that could still very much happen. I'm worried about it, man. And it's a, it's a fucking weird situation, too, because like, you know, when I was a kid, I know exactly, or like, honestly, even me, like, seven, eight, nine, ten years ago,

I could see me just being like, yeah, you know, fuck Russia and fuck the Russians and their, their army and blah, blah, blah. But, like, you see these dudes that, like, they go in, you know, the gas thing. And I look at the whole thing a lot differently now because it's like, I want to just say, yeah, fuck the Russian soldiers and shit. It's like, they don't want to be there. Uh-uh. Like, but they fucking, like Putin, they will.

it's not the same as being in the fucking army over here. You know what I mean? In the army over here, you decide to do it. Hey, college. Over there, it's like, listen, if can't go to circus, pick up gun, you know? Can you train bear? If not, bear's train you. Yeah.

Right. So I don't know, man. It's just like, and I think, I don't think I don't think. I don't ever hold it against most of like the sort of grunts in any military. You know what I mean? Like most guys that have been to war talk about how like it's fucked up that they're killing this other day. Like, you know, if I did their shit. If I had been born where he was born, right?

I'd be standing right there beside him. But instead, I'm fucking shoving his bayonet into his heart because I was born where I was born. And that's kind of fucked up because he's just a kid just like I am, you know. Some of them obviously are super zealous. I've seen videos of like Chechen soldiers. about to roll into Ukraine and they're all like, you know, yeah, Ukraine got shit for you. Fuck you.

You go to fuck you up. You know, they're like pumped up. They're like, we're going to fuck your shit. Ass, fuck off. You know, whatever. And then those dudes all got killed or captured. And I read in that combo, you know, which does. So, I mean, like, some of them be like that.

But a huge, huge chunk of them definitely don't want to be there. And the whole thing. How you figure the, like, Ukraine, Russia, like, rap scene is right now. Pretty lit. So, I figure. Why do you say that? Um, well, it's just that like over here,

we have like, our rappers have like fake war stuff like, you know, like East Coast, West Coast, uh, you know, beef. And that really hit. So I just figured I was like, man, they've got legit beef. And I know that they've got wild ass rappers over there. So like, I just have to assume that the Ukraine, Russia, West Coast, East Coast, Tiggy Tupac shit, it's like pretty lit. Well, so I don't have the answer, but it's just funny you say that because

Smart Mark, when we did, we got a skews Patreon now, which is part of my overall Patreon, Patreon, patreon. But anyway, for the skews Patreon, we did this episode. We're talking about dark money and sanctions and whatnot. And Mark at one point, he was talking about the whole deal with Russian Ukraine. This ain't got nothing to do with dark money. he was just talking about Russia and Ukraine, and he made some comment that was like,

uh, he said something about, you know, the rap scene is really taken off or something like that. And he goes, he goes, honestly, the whole rap scene over there,

that could be its own episode. Shit's wild. Anyway. And then he just like went back. Well, you've been talking about what we were. I didn't hear it on your fucking Patreon. Not that every now,

everybody else should, but that, yeah, that's wild. That's just where my brain was. I know. That's what I'm saying. Like,

like, like, Now retroactively, I wish I would have pressed him on that and been like, what are you talking about? But he just made an offhand comment, but it definitely supports what you're saying. I guess the rap, rap is the whole, you know. Would this be like a bonus thing, a whole bonus new episode that y'all do on your Patreon? Yes.

May I ask for 10 minutes on there to hear this? I would really like to, I don't know if you do guests on that, but I would really like to talk to Smart Mark about fucking Ukraine. and Russian rap. Yeah, anytime you want to come on there. I'm totally inviting myself on a thing, but that's a thing that would hit for me. No, that always, of course, that totally hits just fine.

I'm trying to find, I'm trying to look through the dock right now, see if I can find the- Well, while you're doing that, let me plug my stuff since we're in plugging mode right now. You can go to Corey Wrightsfor-you.com, which is sort of my Patreon situation. It's a subscriber blog slash newsletter

where I'm putting out, the written word, but also in audio form and little many podcasts, little stories that are out. And people are really loving it. We have thousands of subscribers. It's tremendous. So thank you. And also sign up to Trace Patreon. So appreciate everybody.

Yeah, that's it. Okay. So all it says in the outline is says, Russian rappers are whaling. And in parentheses, it says, that's what Mark said? Yeah. So I remember this is a segment talking about. how there's pushback in Russia against Putin right now, like all these protests and stuff. And then one of the notes about how like it ain't going the way Putin expected was it just says

Russian rappers are while in parentheses Russian rap is a whole fucking episode. But that's that's all. And that's all he said when we were recording too. So apparently, yeah, there's something to that. But I don't have the specifics. Well, I want to, I want to know because again, I just, I, I don't think I've heard a lot of Russian rap, but I've heard some,

and it's fucking crazy. It's... Like, what do you mean? I'm assuming it's in Russian, right? Yeah, it's in Russian. So you can't understand another word. It just sounds wild. What do you mean?

It's crazy. I speak rap, though. You know what I mean? Like, I know when someone's getting called a mark-ass bitch in any language. You know what I'm saying? Like, there's a rhythm, and I'm like, oh, she's a ho. I don't, you know, I,

It's a new word for it, but she's a ho. What makes it crazy? Is the music crazy? It's hardcore. And like, okay, think about this. All of them look like M&M. You know what I mean? Like, or not more hardcore.

Like, they're all tatted up. They're fucking just like wild white motherfuckers, you know? Like it's just. They are wild white motherfuckers. That's true. Some of the earth's wildest, widest motherfuckers, matters of fact. That's kind of what I mean is like you can just really tell it. Like, it really comes through like, shoot.

this motherfucker crazy and so but yeah I mean knowing the words that'd be something else I need to look

into that but I've just been like you don't want to fuck with these guys like there's like over here like you know we got rappers

who like rap rap is supposed to be it's like known that like oh you got to be hard to rap you know

but it's like Drake puts all his own this some bitch was into grassy you know over there however it don't really

seem to me that there's any fake hard-ass Russian rappers. They all seem to be like, yeah, they just got out of a tank, you know. Right. Yeah. Yeah, I don't, I don't think, I feel like there's a very, very small portion of the population over there that would even be able to fake being hard. Right.

You know what I mean? Most of them just is hard. Yeah. When I want to count of life be hard. Over there. Yeah. Yeah. So it'd be like that.

You want to take a quick break? I'd love to, Trey. All right. Do you want to talk about something completely different for the last little segment here? I want to do whatever you want to do. I don't know if it'll get us through it. There's about to be a real, real shift in tone and everything, but I had just made a note of it.

I'm going to bring it up on the podcast for or at some point. First of all, I want you to go ahead and start thinking about famous sayings that you think are complete in total horseshit, really. So with that in my mind, mind, and I got that from my Reddit thread, that idea. Of course I did. But with that in mind, I want to say, like, you ever thought about how I before E, except after C is pretty much exclusively wrong? Always wrong. It's like, it's almost never true. Except in long age,

that's in neighboring way. It's like, that's most of them. Yeah, right. And then there's other words, like weird, forfeit, glacier, seas. Glacier is, the eye is before the E, but it's after. a C, you know? So like, I don't know what this C-E-I word is. Right. I know. I don't even know that one. Like, that's so what, why is that such a, I feel like every, I don't know if school kids are still hearing that bullshit. I hope they're not. But I know if you're a certain age, we all. We live by that. That shit. And it's like, why? Why do they keep saying it when it's like, it's just completely. Hors shit. Like, it's weird. The first teacher that ever did it, it must have been a situation where, like, they just stumbled upon that word that made them believe that.

And then they go, I before E, except after C, and that sounded so good. And so they said it. And then, like, a couple days later, everybody was like, uh, nah, no, most of the time,

nah, but like, it just sounded so good that it was just, fucking out there and that teacher was like, I don't know, but like, there's a lot of shit in English like that that's just constantly, constant bullshit. Right?

Yeah. So apparently, apparently someone has put together a, like another, like a continuation of that famous saying that continues on listing all the different exceptions to the rule. Yeah. So I'm going to read it off real quick.

I before E except after C, Orwin sounded as A, as in neighbor and way. unless the sea is part of a sh sound as in glacier, or it appears in comparatives and superlatives like fancier, and also except when the vowels are sounded as E as in C's, or I as in height, or also in I-N-G inflections ending in E as in queuing,

or in compound words as in albeit, or occasionally in technical words, with strong etymological links to their parent languages as in cuneiform or in other numerous and random exceptions such as science, forfeit, and weird. So... Miss Betty didn't know shit.

No. No. That's, you know, I told you one that, not necessarily a saying, but like an old wife's tale, I guess, which I'm sure is not a good term to you. use anymore, but that my granny said to me when I was a kid

and this is really funny and it ended up coming back full circle. She used to always, I remember she was telling me this story one time about her neighbor who got shot in the eye with a BB gun and that eye, he went blind in that eye

and my granny said and I quote, and you know back then if you went blind in one eye you naturally went blind in the other. Like that was just a thing in the past that happened. Like, yeah, back then, you couldn't just get blinded. Yeah, just if one eye stopped hitting the other, I was like, fuck this. It just threw in the eye towel.

Eyes hadn't learned how to be eyes without both eyes going yet. And so she said that. And I remember being like eight and being like, eyes ain't different. Like, eyes are the same. And my mama used to be like, she goes, you know your granny just says stuff. Like that's not, of course. And my mom was like, what happened was he just went blind also. And he was a dumbass.

And then he ended up getting his other eye shot. And your grandmother thought to herself, I guess that's what happens when one eye goes blind, you go blind and the other. Well, so like this dude got shot separately. No, no, no. No, no. I'm saying that's how we're rationalizing it. That's how we're rationalizing it.

Because there's no way that what my granny just said, which is if you go blind in one eye, you naturally go blind in the other. We're like, that can't have been the case. She's just saying shit. Yeah. So anyways, her whole lot, we didn't make fun of her to her face for this

because she's a sweet old lady and we would never do it. But behind her back, constantly, anytime she would say something stupid, my mom would go, and naturally she went blind in the other eye too. Like we were just, it was just a running joke. Well, like, maybe three years ago, maybe. My granny's long dead since.

And before this happened, I was reading something, and it was about this thing called a sympathy infection. And I read it in this person who went blind, and because they didn't treat it properly, they went blind in the other eye, and it's called a sympathy infection. And I read up on it, and that was a very, very real thing. And so my granny was actually right the whole time, and it was us who were assholes.

Yeah, right. So that's where my, when you said, think of a phrase that's bullshit, the first thing I thought of was that. But then I was like, actually, Granny was right. Granny also, though, she used to just say wild shit, because you know how old people be. But she, I remember one time when I first started going bald, she goes, I was going bald. And she goes, hey, she goes, have you tried rubbing salt on your head? and I go, what, what? She goes, yeah, rub salt on your head.

I go, what does that do? And she goes, oh, I don't know. Can't hurt. What was another thing besides I before E that was bullshit? Well, first of all, I will circle back to that. And I've told the story before on here, but it's been a very long time. But just in line with what your granny said, my may ma-ma once wanted me to come get this old 35-inch C-R. TV out of our house in Salina because it had long since quit working.

But she kept, this is when I lived in Knoxville and she kept getting mad at me because I wouldn't come up and get it. And I was like, maybe it's not a big rush. Next time I'm in Salina, I'll get it. But she would get mad. She was like, no, you got to come get that thing. It's leaking mercury and poisoning me in my sleep. And I was like, no, it's not. And she goes, no, you got to take that thing somewhere and shoot it.

and I was like, what? And she's like, you got to shoot them old TVs like that or else they'll explode. And I was like, what the fuck? You have to shoot it or it will explode. Yeah. If you don't shoot it, then it will explode. And in the meantime, it's leaking.

Like, how many different ways can you be wrong about this goddamn TV? You know what I mean? But it's like I assume at one point in like the 70s, my grandpa and his buddies just wanted to shoot a TV. Right. You know? And she was like, no,

what the fuck are you doing? Yeah. He's like, yeah, I shoot it. Else it explode. She was just like, oh, well,

okay, because back then women just believed everything I made said. That's how it works. Shooting a TV to prevent an explosion. Yeah. So, if that's what you do, Larry.

Me-maws, they be that way. Maybe not all of them. Mine sure is. So other examples that were on there were like, um, if you can't handle me in my best, you don't deserve me,

or if you can't handle me at my worst. deserve me at my best. And it's not true. What kind of fucking bullshit is that? Like, yeah, that just gives you a license to be a huge bitch all the time. All the time. If I can't put up with you being a huge bitch, I don't deserve you being like kind of okay. Yeah, right.

It's just like, it's so fucking stupid. Most people's worst is way further that way than their best is. Right. You know what I'm saying? Most people who have a worst, which would precipitate. them saying that those people's best don't even really hit. No. Yeah, right.

So, I mean, honestly, most every single person who has uttered that is someone who just got a DUI and was trying to keep their marriage together. And by the way, I'm pretty sure it, I'm not sure that she actually said it,

but the quote is often attributed to Marilyn Monroe. Right. Okay. Ain't none of you bitch. is Marilyn Monroe. Okay? On your best? Mother fucking day.

You ain't Maryland Monroe. Right. Yeah. And then what doesn't kill you makes you stronger? It's like, no, sometimes leaves you quadriplegic, you know? Yeah. Like you don't always get stronger from something not killing you. Yeah.

So I think I'm definitely paraphrasing, but I'm pretty sure I saw Joe Zimmerman the other day said they say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Not mono. It's a very Joe Zimmerman joke. Yeah, that one's bullshit. That one also, that's usually said by the boss to his employees after they have put in like a 13-hour day and are starving. What doesn't kill you make you stronger is always said by a person who's not really having to sacrifice anything to someone who they're making their life worse in order to, It's propaganda is what I'm saying.

Yeah. It's what people tell the poor so that they will continue to accept. Keep going. Hey, what doesn't kill you make you stronger? It's like, ah, it seems like it's putting me further in debt, boss. I don't know. Yeah, that's definite bullshit. There was definitely more, but that's all I can remember right now.

Most stuff is bullshit. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. My stuff is bullshit. that I always remember when I was a kid, my mom would accuse me. She would say, you've had enough fun for one day. And I remember even as a kid, I was like, man, we're putting a limit on that.

God damn, like, this is pretty rough. Like, what would be the hard? Yeah, go sit in the corner now. That was one of the earliest. Everybody knows we're in a fun shortage right now. I can't just be wasting fun. It wasn't, obviously, didn't have the Trey Crowder, treatment to it.

But that was one of the earliest jokes I wrote when I was a child was about, it was called, it was like, yeah, I don't know if you guys know this. My mom, she's got this new thing. It's called a fun meter. And she can tell whenever I've hit my daily allotment. I definitely didn't say allotment, but whatever, whatever that word was for me then, of fun. And once I've had that fun, sorry, guys, got to go.

But yeah, that was bullshit. most stuff's bullshit though it is yeah and hey go ukraine I guess and go to well red comedy dot com to grab tickets to our shows like I said Knoxville's pretty virtually sold out which is rad thank y'all so much

then we got coming up in a month Little Rock Bentonville Portland and help me out here Louisville kentucky Louisville kentucky yeah well red comedy dot com for those tickets also I would really like for you to go to

Patreon.com slash Trey Crowder to get, because we all know that you're like, I can't get enough of this motherfucker. Well, you can. You can get enough of him if you go to patreon.com slash Trey Crowder. I promise you it's

enough. And also go to Corey Rites for you. com and you can check out my stuff. And also, thank you all for listening to the well-read show. We'd love to stick around. but we got to go. Tune in next week if you got nothing to do.

Thank you, God bless you. Good night, and skit. That does hit.