wellRED podcast - #265- The Slap Heard Round The World and Gay Dogs!
Episode Date: March 30, 2022this week the boys spend a lot of time breaking down the Will Smith/Chris Rock slap and also cover a smaller story out of North Carolina where a man abandoned his dog. WellREDcomedy.com for tickets t...o showsAlso go to PuttinOnAirs.com and subscribe to the new podcast where Corey and Trae talk about fancy stuff!
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They're the liberal rednecks.
They like cornbread, but sex, they care way too much, but don't give a fun.
They're the liberal rednecks that makes some people upset.
They got three big old dicks that you can suck.
Oh, yeah, we're in here.
Cho, you got any announcements?
I got a bunch of stuff today.
Well, I've got this one.
First off, if you haven't yet gone ahead and subscribe
to our new podcast, Putting On Airs, I wish you would do that.
You can find it wherever you get your podcast,
or you can go to Putting On Airs.com.
And we'd like to appreciate and tell everybody we appreciate them
because it's already up there on the iTunes Top 100, baby.
I ain't even come out yet, April 1st.
Does hit also, obviously.
Go to well-read comedy.com and come see us live.
We'll be in Arkansas this weekend, Little Rock, Friday and Saturday, and then Bentonville on Sunday.
Show's always hit in Arkansas.
Then two weeks later, Portland, Oregon, shows also always hit there.
And then after that, our first time at a brand new club in Louisville, Kentucky, April 21st, 21st, to the 23rd.
So please come and see us, y'all.
All right, so here we are.
I got another call to action for any listeners out there looking for a crusade, a little mini crusade.
You can fight for my honor.
I know y'all appreciate it.
This is only for any listeners that are actually on TikTok.
And listen, y'all, this isn't about TikTok.
It's the principle of the thing.
So I've been banned forever from TikTok.
Forever.
permanently banned for, quote, repeatedly violating the community guidelines.
Now, from what I can tell, do not believe that I have done so ever once.
What I think is happening is that, you know, I sometimes we or I will be like, I'll be, you know, making fun of Marjorie Taylor Green and say some shit.
You know, these Jews are out of control, y'all.
Right?
Yeah, that's happened to me.
I think their algorithm or AI or something just here.
No, that is definitely what it is.
Right. And so it flags it. And it's flagged videos before. And I've appealed them and they've like accepted the appeals. But I guess after so many flags, they just automatically shut you down. So I've submitted an appeal to this too. Multiple ones. I ain't heard shit back back back. So if you're, you know, out there. And like I said, want to fight for my honor and fuck with TikTok anyway. Find a way to send them a message telling them they don't hit and it's bullshit and to let me back on there. Because, yeah, I just don't see why not. All right. So that's, yeah, I got banned for missing. Shadow banned. I bet. I don't think it was.
Shadow is fucking gone.
Yeah.
What do you mean by that,
Drew?
I know in some places it may,
shadow band on like Reddit means you can't even tell your band,
but no one can see what you're posting.
I'm like,
my account is gone.
I can't love into it.
I think that's what it means.
I was just like making a reference to people constantly claiming that on Instagram
because they tell the truth or whatever.
That's like a big refrain from comedians.
Yeah,
I saw earlier this week.
There was,
there was a report that went up that was like Instagram or something was like
targeting the Russian members and so they weren't going to be able to be active on
Instagram kind of like what we talked about on last episode.
It was like, yeah, all these Russian accounts aren't going to be active.
And then this fucking like two days later, this Fox News correspondent was talking about
how she was being shadow banned on TikTok because her videos that normally got like 500,000
views are now getting 10,000 views, and I saw those headlines side by side.
And I thought that was pretty, pretty nasty.
Right. So, yeah, the shadow ban thing, yeah, it's like, that's when you can still do everything
on your end as normal, but other people can't see it. And it's always funny to people like,
clearly, I've been shadow banned because this should have hit real hard. And it's like,
it just didn't hit. But it's always funny. But no, like I'm gone completely.
Bad, banned.
I'm absolutely banned on there.
No shadow to it.
I've been banned, banned.
I was just making a dumb reference to those folks saying that,
but it's definitely what you think it is, in my opinion.
I have not been banned.
I mean, I don't post enough, but it's happened to me.
Three videos have been taken down,
and it's always what you say,
because a few times they, or at least once,
they told me specifically,
I did a thing about Ivermectin.
Me too.
I said on there.
I was referencing,
a lot of people
were saying that humans have been taken
ivermectin for a long time, but these people
are dying. So that means
like these people figured out
a global conspiracy to hide the
cure from us, found
the cure on their own, beat it, but then
just took the wrong dose. Like they got
beat by mass. Like that's what you got
beat by. And then at the very end, I said
something about if you've ever,
actually taking real drugs, you'll never get beat by the metric system. You've been dealing with
grams your whole life. And that alone was enough for them to be like, you were telling people to
take drugs. I was like, no, I got, I got, I actually got, uh, temporarily banned from YouTube,
which I cared much more about for spreading medical misinformation because of an Ibramectin video.
But I appealed that and explained because it was the same type of deal. It's like that was ironic. I was
making fun of that.
Please go back and watch it.
And again,
anytime I've appealed these on a single video basis,
they've always been approved.
But like I said,
I guess on TikTok,
if you just get so many fucking strikes against you,
even if you've successfully appealed them,
apparently,
eventually they just knock you off completely
because that's what happened to me.
Also,
I got kicked off Reddit for a little while,
and they accepted my appeal because I quoted,
like I replied to something that got another guy kicked off.
It was horrible.
He was basically,
saying we should murder homeless people.
And I just like rephrase what he said in quotes to point out that he was saying we should
kill homeless people.
And they kicked me off for like a week for wanting to kill homeless people.
But they accepted my, I was like, hey, that was pretty obviously to everyone who liked it.
Those motherfuckers also banned together and like mass report accounts and shit like that.
That too, I think.
Which is funny coming from the don't cancel me crowd.
But yeah, they'd be doing that shit.
And it's one of the two or a combination of both for me is what's happened.
Because I think maybe that also is a possibility.
Fucking trolls for whom I do not hit reporting me on mass.
But then...
Yeah, sorry about that, dude.
I thought it was funny.
And then the, you know, the hate speech, in quotes, is in the video, but ironically
and as a joke and then that, whatever.
Anyway, it doesn't matter.
But yeah, if y'all want to message them, that would hit for me because I just don't...
If it was real shit,
that I was doing that was breaking their rules and whatnot,
I'd just be like, you know what, fuck you TikTok,
but this is an injustice, most foul.
And so I don't appreciate it.
Well, if it was real shit that you were doing and you were that type of person,
you would still disagree that you were doing bad things.
Now, I meant like if they had some rule that I, like, actually was breaking.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But by being myself, though, you know, like, I thought at first I was like,
maybe they have a rule against fucking shit and on conservative.
Maybe like political ideology is protected.
They have protected classes right on their guidelines.
And I looked up and down and political ideology, thankfully, is not one of them.
And I'm saying like if that was, if it was something like that, then I would just be like, well, I guess I'm done with TikTok because fuck that stupid bullshit.
But I hear you, that's a rule.
And I was breaking it.
So y'all can still go fuck yourselves, but fair enough.
But it ain't like that.
It's some old bullshit.
So, you know, trying to, trying to fight, fight for my rights.
You know what I'm saying?
Anyway.
Speaking of rules and breaking them,
uh,
Will Smith smacked the shit out of Chris Rock at the Oscars.
I don't know if y'all saw that.
No, I didn't see it.
It's a crazy thing.
It was a, uh, it was a sketch gone wrong.
And I believe.
Yeah.
Oscars was this weekend?
Yeah.
It's that, you know, the, they used to watch it every year.
I haven't kept up in forever.
Yeah, well, it was just, we don't have to talk much about it, but yeah, apparently Will Smith slapped Chris Rock directly in the face.
And in my opinion, it's not being talked about enough.
No, that's first time hearing of it.
I would think that was something like that would get covered past Rammore because, I mean, that's like two pretty big stars on the biggest stage in Hollywood.
Hollywood's big night on Broadcasting Network ABC.
Do you mean the defensive end or the guy who plays him?
movies sometimes.
The dude that was in,
it was seven,
was it,
what was that movie?
Seven pounds.
Seven pounds.
Yeah.
Because I know the defensive end,
I think he used to play for Atlanta Hawks.
New Orleans Saints.
Oh, that's who it was.
Right division.
Hawks is a basketball team.
Now, if he had slapped the Rock,
that'd be a big deal.
Not The Rock, for the record.
Chris Rock.
Yeah, way different story.
Very different.
Oh, Chris Rock.
Does he do comedy?
He, uh, yeah, he used, he was on Saturday Night Live for a while.
Man, if he were bigger and blacker, he probably would have been able to take that slap better.
That's good.
I like that.
It was good.
That was good.
I grow weary of this ruse, Cho.
Of course, when you saw it, you know, I've been dying to tell you all.
I grow weary of this ruse.
Andy, I've been dying to tell you all until the ruse was over.
Andy got into a fender bender.
and the girl that hit her
and the agent she called
brought up Will Smith.
I mean, it's pretty
fucking insane.
Like, as soon as it happened,
like I heard about it,
and then like 30 minutes later,
I looked on Instagram,
or Twitter,
and one of the videos
in 30 minutes
had 10 million views.
30 minutes, 10 million views.
That's the craziest shit I've ever seen.
Well,
You know, I mean, we're obsessed with celebrities and Hollywood and stuff anyway,
and that's like two of the bigger stars, especially Will Smith,
objectively one of the biggest stars and fucking he assaulted one of the most legendary comedians of all time.
In the middle of the stage.
Nothing happened.
Live on, and it's like, of course it's going to be massive.
I mean, that shit is fucking crazy, you know.
It's also that celebrities don't do it.
Right.
Anything surprising anymore.
Right.
Yeah, right.
Unless they're like.
rappers who are very
yeah they're all very they got their brands
and their publicists and all this stuff and you just don't
see that type of shit. And they're hyper aware of the internet
and the cameras. Right. So yeah
and like if Chet
if Chet Hanks had done some shit like this
you'd be like all right yeah they didn't let his ass
into the Oscars. Right.
So and yeah the response to it
was also wild because it's like
yeah he just then went and sat back down
and everybody's kind of acted like it didn't happen and then
right after that he won the best Oscar
first one. First one.
of a wild ass speech where he like talked about being a vessel of love vessel of love after
bitch slapping Chris Rock in front of everybody and like also just to find it back and like he was
a protector of women and also somehow because the character he played in the movie probably
would have done that so that makes it hit and also because God told him to and also because
Chris Rock is the devil or whatever it just oh see I didn't hear none of this stuff well some of that
I'm paraphrasing but not really he said most of that.
And then he got a wild rambling, nigh, incoherent diatribe trying to justify his assault of comedy legend Chris Rock at front of everybody, for which he received a standing ovation from everyone.
And then Anthony Hopkins was like, yeah, Chris, or Will Smith really said it all.
And it's like, what the fuck are any of y'all talking about?
I almost feel like that was a bit.
I almost feel like Hopkins was like, set it off.
What are you going to do?
And Denzel Washington and Tyler Perry
consoling Will Smith
Like he was the one
Who got fucking victimized or whatever
It really highlights I think
Comedians Place
Yes
And the hierarchy of Hollywood
That Chris Rock got slapped upside the fucking head
For a very innocuous joke
And then the whole room
Like apologized to the dude who slapped him
And was over there like rubbing his back and shit
And just looking at Chris Rock
Like, you got a fucking job to do.
Will you get back out there and tell these goddamn jokes?
He's upset.
You've upset him, Chris.
It's like, it's just, it's something else, man.
The whole thing is something else.
I think that he's transcended comedian.
Chris Rock has.
He's acted a lot.
He's been around forever.
But he was being a comedian in that moment.
I understand that, but I don't think that's what happened.
I think that those people are so in tune with what their job is beyond acting, you know, to be
famous.
Tyler Perry and Denzel specifically.
that they knew immediately, and Will did too,
as soon as he got down from stage and calmed down a little bit,
that he had just fucked everything up.
That they were consoling him because Chris just won.
There was nothing.
Plus Chris was still on stage.
You can't console the man on stage.
But like, it's still fucked up.
It's arguably worse.
It was like, oh, we got to go console him
because he knows he just really, really, really, really ruined
what is important to us, our us as fucked up Hollywood people.
I disagree just because if Will Smith truly believe that he fucked up,
I think his speech would have been a little bit different.
No, no, no, fucked up his career.
Not like fucked up like I feel bad.
Like, fucked up what I'm supposed to do.
Well, especially because he...
People only care about fame and their reputation.
I was going to say, and their image.
And almost no one has a more like meticulously curated image than Will Smith.
Bill Smith does, and he's been
curating that image for 30
fucking years. You know what I mean?
He's like an all-American good guy.
Everybody, I mean, reportedly that's why he wouldn't
take roles like Neo or
Django and stuff is because like
he couldn't be seen to
do or say some of those things
those characters did because it would fuck his
image up. And he has to know
surely that in
with, you know, with the slap of
one hand, he undid
30 years of, because I mean, I know
that's true for me. I've always been a huge
Will Smith fan. Of course, everybody knows Chris Rock's
my favorite comedian of all time, but I've always
fucking loved Will Smith, and
that's how I feel about the whole thing.
I'm like, you know, I'm not that guy anymore.
All of that has evaporated for me,
because that shit was fucked up. And Chris Rock,
on the other hand, though, is a fucking
pros pro. Absolutely.
Handled that shit like a G.
I don't care what anybody says.
And, you know, just I don't,
I mean, imagine that as comics, man.
Like, yeah.
trying to have to go on with the show,
get the crowd back or whatever after something like that has happened.
He's done worse though.
You're just at,
well,
I don't know.
I mean,
sure,
you piss somebody off in a room,
even if they come up on stage.
That's wild as hell.
In most clubs,
the show's probably going to stop right there.
Yeah,
absolutely.
But you're not in most clubs.
You're on stage at the fucking Oscars,
and the person doing it is one of the biggest stars on planet Earth.
Like,
the shit is wild.
And he just rolled with it.
And,
yeah.
I mean,
you all remember that Chris Rock?
You all remember that clip that went around several years ago?
It was an old videotape,
but the clip kind of went viral of like this guitar comedian on stage.
And yeah,
so there's this guitar comedian on stage.
And then this dude,
this heckler comes up to the stage,
maybe about to do something.
But the guy with the guitar just fucking smashes it over his head.
And then looks out at the crowd and was like,
y'all saw him.
He was coming up here to hit me.
And they were just like,
no, bro.
I think he was just like,
okay.
And then he just left.
But yeah, this is, I mean, when that person is Will fucking Smith,
and here's what makes the whole situation a little bit different to me.
I'm not that.
Cory, hang on.
Before you tell us this, let's hear from our sponsor real quick.
Okay.
So what makes this a little bit different?
I know there's people online that are saying, look, assault is assault and violence is violence.
Let's have a little bit more nuanced than that for the love of God.
But here's the difference.
If they were at a party and Chris Rock was sitting there going in on his wife,
all right first off
you start by going
hey man let's cool it you know
if that if they keep going on
I understand maybe a little bitch slap
but like I'm talking about a crime of passion
you're right there hey man
you know Will Smith if you go back and watch that video
he had a long walk
to decide
not to do that shit
do you know what I'm saying like he walked up
strutted up thought about it
the whole time smack this motherfucker
and went to his seat
that's a little bit different than a,
I'm defending my wife.
And it looks so like,
you could tell the way he was walking was just like,
I'm about to look like a badass.
And then as soon as he does it and turns around,
I think the realization hits him.
And he's like, oh, no,
I just smacked Chris Rock in fucking public.
So to me, that's the,
violence is violent assault as assault.
It would have been a lot different
if he just popped him standing next to each other.
Do you agree?
He slapped a reporter like four years ago for trying to do.
Oh, really?
yeah no i didn't say that well that's it again that's a little bit different yeah no dude the people
that are like all the takes that are like he could have killed him or whatever that shit yeah get the
fuck out of air too it's like it's a slap way out of line but like come the fuck on we ain't gotta go right
to comedian takes of like this is just opening the door shut the fuck up we're gonna be fine we've
we've all had way worse if you've been doing it a long time and then places with you know what
I mean, like, that's just, everyone's so dramatic.
They act like they got slapped.
But I want to go back a little bit.
I'm not, the whole, like, he's a good guy and that's evaporated now.
I think he can save that.
I think he will save that.
He's got to go on SNL.
I think he will spin it in some way.
I think Rock will probably help him because it'll make Rock look good.
I think all of these folks have some sort of image that they've curated over the years,
and it would behoove all in.
involved to try and turn this into something quote unquote positive.
So I think that'll come back.
It may have gone away for you, Trey,
but I think it'll come back for most people.
There's plenty of people that are on his side right now and have been since he did it.
Because he was defending his wife or whatever.
And because Chris Rock,
you know,
I absolutely wanted to bring this up because we got a bald on this show.
We got a resident bald.
Thank you.
Notably, famously, very bald,
A big, very outspoken bald, right?
Bulbous as well.
You're not a black woman.
You're a white man, but still a bald.
And I would love your thoughts on the whole alopecia part of it.
Because a lot of people have been saying like, listen, that shit ain't cool.
Alopecia's a disease.
You can't joke about stuff like that.
That was fucked up.
And thus Chris Rock deserved it.
I feel like, first of all, he compared her to G.
G.I. Jane, who was like, very famously a badass Demi Moore.
It's not even really a fucking insult anyway.
Secondly, I guess everybody else on earth might have known it.
I, for one, had no idea she had any kind of disease.
I thought it was a choice.
It's not like it's cancer.
It ain't like he's making cancer jokes.
It's fucking different in my opinion.
But I'm not bald, Joe.
So, well, you are.
No, it's not a choice.
Some of us are born this way.
But as Mark, as Smart Mark said in the thread,
the real crime here was making a GI Jane joke in 2022.
And I agree.
She had on green.
He's already said it was off the cuff.
Like, I'm not going to defend Will Smith.
I think a lot of people overreacted,
but I will defend Chris Rock in that moment.
She had on green and he just said it.
Yeah, it's just a throwaway line.
I normally would never be like,
I try to stay away from.
Imagine if that, you know, it had been a man
or if it had been, you know, reversing rolls and shit like that.
But as a bald man,
ain't no one.
We have been,
fucking LeBron James has been reluctantly pushing his headband back an inch every goddamn year
because people talk shit about him.
Larry David,
a famous bald.
All the jokes are about him.
Now, granted,
he makes some of them,
but like,
bald,
like,
you're never going to see a sitcom.
For women,
though,
because there are famous bald men.
There's very few famous bald women.
Fair.
I'm just saying,
I'm just talking about bald as a punchline.
Bald as a punchline in a show.
Like,
you could write an episode of a show today where someone,
one's making fun of a shrimpy little ball dude and no one gives a fuck and I'm not saying that
they should. I'm not saying that they should but like I have been very, there's a reason that
I always wear a hat and it's because I, you know, I'm self-conscious. I don't have alopecia.
I've still got the eyebrows and shit. By the way, I thought that was the one that made black people
turn white. No, that's, I don't know what that's called it.
Fittalida, something like that, I think. No, I looked it up. It's Vidalogia. It's Vidalogia.
Bidilago.
They all sound like operas or hotels in Las Vegas to me.
That's funny.
Right about that.
But Corey, you don't have alpacia, but what you got to make you bald, it's still
in your blood.
It's still, yeah, right.
I still am bald.
Regardless, I'm still bald, and it doesn't hit, and I'm self-conscious about it.
And people do poke fun at me about it.
And it's, again, I'm not saying that they shouldn't at all.
I'm not saying that they shouldn't.
I'm just saying, do not sit there and fucking act like all.
now we can't make fun of bald.
If y'all just want to stop making fun of bald people,
cool, but God damn it,
do it all the motherfucking way.
You know what I'm saying?
Isn't bald women different?
Am I just wrong about that?
Why?
Because there's so many bald men
that being a bald man
does make you the butt of some jokes,
but doesn't like totally change the way you're perceived by society.
Now, she's beautiful enough and she's black,
she can pull it off,
but like a white bald woman,
everyone would just assume she had cancer.
Yeah, I mean, I guess that is fair.
And much like everything, women do genuinely have it harder.
I'm just saying if we're talking like, why does this disease making you bald?
Well, okay, we can't make the bald joke.
But like, I've just got a bunch of testosterone.
I don't hit.
I wish I didn't.
It makes me scream a lot.
It makes my hair fucking fall out.
You know?
I'm just saying I'm fine.
I'm fine with making fun of balls, though.
I'm not saying don't make fun of balls.
I'm just saying don't draw no fucking imaginary line.
Well, he also, Will Smith.
said in his acceptance speech.
He was like, you know, you're expected to come here and just sit there and have
disrespectful things said about you.
And that part too, in my head, it's like, yeah, you are.
You are.
Yes.
It's kind of the least you can do is sit there and allow yourself to be fucking made fun of
for, you know, three nights, three award shows a year.
And in relative to the history of jokes about famous people at award shows,
this one isn't even top 500 on what should have been slap.
worthy. Like I said in our text there, I was like, he would have stabbed Ricky at your base to
fucking death if Ricky, like, given how hard he went. And that was always part of Ricky's
whole thing too. It's just like, you know, you need this. Fuck you people. It's like you think
you deserve to not be made fun of. You have the fucking world. Right. You can take a joke. And if you
can't, go fuck yourself. All right. But two things on that. On that note, I lost respect for Will more
for the speech than I did to slap.
Yeah.
Because of how kind of almost
borderline sanctimonious it was.
Borderline.
Borderline.
Dudein.
Fucking super.
So, and then the second, because like,
man, parked his car up his own butt.
Right.
I won't defend the slap.
He shouldn't have done it.
But like, for me,
and I think that,
like this is the thing that came out
with all the people.
Like, he could have killed him all that.
It's like, man,
this is a bunch of motherfuckers
who ain't ever seen anybody get slapped.
You know what I mean?
I was just like,
I was more like,
I can't believe.
believe he did it on TV instead of backstage.
But I can believe a man smacked a man.
Like I've seen men smack men.
It happens.
But then the sanctimonious speech, it was like, all right, you're some kind of hero for doing that, dude.
You know what I mean?
This is a little weird.
But the other thing I want to say, and this is a difference between Ricky and Chris Rock,
in my opinion, at this point.
And maybe not Ricky.
That might be a bad example.
But, like, I think that fair or unfair.
and it might just be like ignorance as far as who a comedian is, what a comedian does,
Chris Rock has transcended.
And that might have like made it worse for Will.
Like I know for a fact that they have from like what's gone on this week,
that they have claimed to have reached out to Chris Rock in the past and been like, lay off us.
They see him as some, like either they see themselves as people who will never get made fun of
by a comedian or they see Chris as a colleague or someone they can reach out.
to and say that.
And maybe that made Chris go a little harder.
Like, nah, like, y'all ain't above this, and I don't do what you do.
But that is a strange relationship for any comedian to have with Hollywood when you want
to work in it.
But our job is to be above it.
And I'm going to, if you grant me this, I'll connect it even to the culture wars where
we're supposed to be above the culture wars and commenting on them, but we're fighting
in them now.
And it's this weird thing.
And like, I don't know what my point.
was with that. I lost the thread for a second. I was trying to make the point, though, that
that whole thing was and is scripted without being scripted. It's this completely put on, jacking
each other off. Ricky Jervais came in there and changed it up a little bit a few years ago.
I'm almost grateful they did it just to like give us all something to like...
The Oscars is a joke now. Feel something about. Yeah. That was great TV, guys.
That's great fucking television.
Dude, in arguable, it's great TV.
And speaking of being scripted, that is a take that a lot of people are going with.
Yeah, and here's the thing.
Now, this is my opinion, but I'm not in the industry like these people are,
but I'm enough in it to understand the machinations of a move like that
that maybe a regular person isn't thinking about.
And it's this.
People were going, look, man, Oscars ratings have been down.
They had to get something with a pop.
First off, that would mean,
that the Oscars would have wanted this to happen just for ratings. And again, their ego is way
more important to them and the way that these things look is way more important to them. And B,
they would have had to get Chris Rock and Will Smith both to agree to this fucking PR nightmare.
It won't be a PR nightmare to Chris Rock, really, but like neither one of those dudes would be
like, the amount of money the Oscars would have to pay them motherfuckers to be like, sure,
we'll do this thing and take this hit. They have Z.
zero to gain from it.
People were sharing today, they were like Chris Rock's dates are already sold out the night
after the Oscars like they were fucking going to be.
Chris Rock was going to sell out every fucking show that he did.
Have you lost your fucking mind?
Do you see that close up where it looked like he had something on his cheek?
No.
It might have been a doctored photo, but right before the slap,
you could see like what I should be wearing right now, like a flesh tone pad.
Again, I just, neither one of them.
have anything to get like if if it was two fledgling actors who like haven't you know they're not
really they're failingers i could see them being like yeah we'll fucking do it we don't care but like dude
this is chris rock will smith i'm not saying will smith is at the height of his game obviously he's not
you know he was mr 1990s box office but like neither one of them best actor i mean he's pretty
right right but you know what i'm saying like well there you go there's a good argument for it too
the motherfucker was nominated for an oscar that night neither one of them
had anything to gain and only something to lose.
Like, it's just insanity for me to think.
They were the only two who knew that he was about to do it.
Would that make you guys almost respect it?
And they kept it going or whatever.
I don't.
I just don't, especially Will Smith,
I just do not understand why he would do that.
Because if I said how he's always been with his image specifically
and what this has done to it for most people,
I just don't.
I mean, look, I'm about to get firmly deeper.
into butt-talking territory here,
but also plenty of other people have said.
I wish we had a sound that I could press
when you started talking about a fart saying.
But, you know, everybody knows
Jay to be pork and pool boys and whatnot
and all that stuff.
Yeah, hits for her. Yeah, she is openly talked about it.
She's made Will sit there while she talks about it.
He cried, all this and everything,
and none of that's ever hit for me.
And I feel like...
Well, aren't they open, though?
Like, he cries, but he talks about how, like,
he had been cheating or wanting to cheat.
or whatever, so they're supposedly like just non-monogamous.
I knew Corey was pulling that up.
I don't think that, I'm not saying that that isn't true.
It just seems like it just very much has felt like her specific version of how it's all
gone down doesn't entirely hit for him, whether it's the going on her show and talking
about it with everybody or the fact that it's their son's friends, that she's bawling
or all of the above or whatever.
It don't have for him.
That was the one that made him upset.
I think.
People have done a...
I'm sure.
Dude,
that's crazy.
I don't care what anybody says.
But I think that like that whole conversation you're remembering,
and I agree with you that it's crazy.
They were non-monogamous.
It was consensual.
It was a thing.
And then she got involved with one of their kids' friends.
And he was like,
that bothered me.
Sure.
And why wouldn't it bother you?
Again,
that's pretty fucking wild.
She's like twice this kid's age and is fucking him.
And whatever, anyway.
Also,
He's familiar, you know what I mean?
You want that to be a stranger.
If the rolls were reversed things, how crazy that would be.
But anyway, and it's been a whole thing.
They've both been ragged on the internet for it and everywhere else.
And people giving them shit for it and all this stuff.
I pretty sure 50 cent gave him shit for it publicly because, of course he did.
Like stuff like that has happened.
And I feel like, I just feel like it's been a whole thing for Will Smith that does not hit.
He's like publicly endured it.
It's bothered the shit out.
of him and then this was like even though it had nothing to do with that it was like the straw
that broke the camel's back and he was fucking snapped or something this seems like this is about something
else it seems like this is about something else here buddy yeah right that yeah yeah but i mean he's
been i saw some takes like that that were basically like this is a result of a man being publicly
emasculated for years and he had finally had enough and chris rock just happened to his face happened
to represent all of america at that moment
Well, Rock had, I think, dug in on some of that in the past, had he not?
I'm sure.
The only thing that I...
There was the Oscars they weren't at.
Yeah, but...
And I'm pretty sure all he said was, you know, Jada, she's boycotting the Oscars.
You know, Jada boycotting the Oscars is like me boycotting Rihanna's panties.
Like, I wasn't invited, you know.
And I think that's all he said about her slash them at that last Oscars.
at least that's what I read.
I wanted to ask you, Corey, or maybe you said it, Trey.
Whoever said that this is the culmination of the emasculation,
who's been emasculating him in your mind?
Jada or people making fun of their relationship?
First off, I was quoting a tweet, so that's not necessarily my opinion,
but I would say that it just public, like the memes, you know what I mean?
The constant, the sharing the meme of him crying.
I mean, like, dude, people talking about, you know, Will Smith getting cucked has been a thing for a minute.
it. So I don't mean just one specific person.
Just like, you know, like it's a, that's just been, it's just been a thing.
Like Reddit's been full of Will Smith memes for the past couple years.
And like, he has to see all that shit or get told that shit.
And like going for, feel, like, you already know the whole world knows who you are.
You're big Willie.
And now you're like, man, the whole world thinks this.
Like, I can't.
Dude, putting up one video and seeing 10 negative comments, I'm, I'm in my feels.
I can't fucking imagine.
and thinking the whole world thinks I'm a little bitch,
you know what I mean?
Which I'm not saying he is.
I'm just saying that's, you know, how you'd feel.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Whole thing wild.
I do, if y'all want to switch gears,
I've got a couple other things should hopefully be, you know,
a little more fun, not that that wasn't fun.
Yeah, I mean, I've pretty much said,
I think all I needed to say on the Will Smith thing,
except for I wanted to kind of go back to something Drew said,
which was like, you know, us being, I guess,
us growing up red and with you know like me and my buddies have all beat the shit out of each other
nobody thought nothing of it we i just think we all viewed the slap a little bit differently
than the uh then the people on twitter talking about like oh my god this is the work again it's a
salt and it was not good but like they'll have a beer and they'll be buddies after this you know
that's why i think the speech for me did more damage and if it and if he does take a huge hit
reputation-wise, you know, you have black people defending Will Smith, you know, rightfully
so against white people. There were white people saying he's clearly a domestic abuser because
he walked on stage and slapped Chris Rock. That's a fucking insane thing to say. That's crazy.
But black people defending like the idea of protecting your woman or you don't understand
how black women are treated and they're always a butt of jokes, et cetera, et cetera. And I can't
comment on, you know, what it's like to have a black superstar who the world does look up to.
I mean, it kind of, you know, it's not as bad as what Bill Cosby did,
but it's the same sort of like,
here's someone who supersedes all that,
and then in one moment, you know,
it feels like it's crashing down.
But to me, it's the speech.
Because if he gets up there and says,
that dude was making fun of my wife.
Everybody's been making fun of my wife, and I hit him.
I'm sorry.
I hope that you guys can remember this movie and not what I did.
But instead, he was like,
or honestly, if he'd have trumped it,
if it had been like, you saw what happens.
Talk shit, get lit.
But instead, he played this, like,
victim hero combo thing that was so strange and kind of sad.
Like, it almost made me feel bad for him
because he believed it, or he's a great actor.
But if you're a great actor, you'd choose better lines.
I mean, if he walks up there,
I'm not saying this all goes away, it doesn't go away,
but if he does walk up there,
after having a long time to think,
and just says, man, I shouldn't have done that.
My bad Philly came out for a man.
minute that's uh so much of this is over you know know how that is my but you know i love you chris
you know we'll be cool we'll chop it up whatever we'll be cool anyway this movie and yeah i mean
so much of this is done they're like but damn okay and then and then because apparently
they made up at the after party if he does that they make up the after party i mean fuck man i don't
it's just not really that big of a deal yeah yeah i agree um it was fun on twitter for a night but i
I look forward to never thinking about it again in a few days.
Well, that ain't going to happen because think about all.
Not for me.
This meme is forever.
That's true, but it'll become a meme to the point where I don't even think about that.
I just, you know what I mean?
Yeah, they're saying it has now replaced the Batman slap.
So it'll be that.
Chris Rock can be modify.
It's also like, it's one of those things where it's like, you know, trying to tell the internet not to call you something.
just ensures that the internet is going to call you nothing but that thing forever.
Yeah.
For sure,
I'm saying.
It's,
uh,
it's like,
it's like that,
but with making fun of Jada or her hair or whatever.
You know what I mean?
It just,
like it ain't,
it definitely ain't going away.
But,
um,
so just a fun little anecdotes.
I appreciate the way it played out.
It hit for me.
I hope it'll hit for other people this morning.
You already know this,
but I'm going to retell it now.
So this,
so last night,
me and katie got down to business before bed right that's what's up and then this morning i got up
to go fix bishop's lunch for school and left her in the bed so she didn't have to you know
where she belong there yeah right and and so i went in there and made some made a lunch for bishop
including these little mozzarella balls right because they like mozzarella fresh mozzarella balls
and I noticed that these mozzarella balls, this particular brand,
they've got little, I don't know how to describe them,
they're perfectly round,
and they've got little nipples on the top of them, right?
They're funny looking.
So I took a picture of these mozzarella balls,
and I texted it to y'all and Smart Mark in our group text,
and I said,
this cheese titties, right?
Like, this cheese looks like tiddy.
Which, by the way, I took as his.
It was really good until I zoomed.
I did, too.
Oh, y'all couldn't see the nipples.
No, that's why, no, no, no, I did.
Once I clicked it, I was like, oh, yeah, there's the nipples on this.
That's why I said that sentence actually works in both directions, because I bet that cheese is dead.
And that's why I figured it out.
I was like, oh, who boonies?
And I just sent that to y'all, and then the boys left, and I went back to the bedroom,
and I got back in the bed with Katie.
And so I ain't been up long.
I'm not a morning person.
My phone vibrates.
I pick it up, and it's a notification from the group chat where Smart Mark says,
that was my nickname in gym class.
And I just read it and didn't even really think about it and put my phone down.
And then Katie like snuggles up to me.
And then I processed what he had said like his nickname in gym class was cheese titties.
You know, like people introducing Mark like, hey, this is cheese titty.
Hey, this is cheese titties.
Right.
It clicked in my head like 20 seconds later as Katie snuggles up to me.
And I went, I laughed like that.
And she was like, what are you laughing at?
And I was like, nothing.
You wouldn't understand it.
And but that made me laugh more.
And again, she's like, not wearing clothes, getting up on me, but I can't stop laughing now.
And thinking about Mark being cheese titties, but also, but also she's like, no, what is it?
What are you laughing at?
And I know that I'm not going to be able to not tell her what I'm laughing at.
And I know that it originates with me, a 35 year old father of two,
taking a picture of cheese
of your son's lunch
while making my son's lunch
and texting it to y'all and saying
this cheese tities
right?
And so it's just killing me
the sort of like fucking
you know
sitcom nature of this scene
how much of a man child I am
so I can't stop laughing
and then finally I showed her right
and she's like oh my God
and I laugh even harder
to the point where she goes
okay, I'm just going to go and like gets up and walks out and put his clothes on.
And I'm still in there laughing at just how the whole thing unfolded.
It reminded me once and I was, you know, fucking over 10 years younger.
But when we lived in Knoxville, she worked at this sports bar and she told me to come down there one day because she needed to talk to me.
And I got down there and I was waiting on her to get off sitting at the bar and I had like two drinks.
And I went to pay for the drinks with a credit card.
And I was feeling out the credit card slip.
And she came over there and she was like, okay, all right, I need to talk to you.
And I was like, yeah, okay, here, check this out.
And I showed her on the credit card slip because the bartender gave me a pink pen.
I had drawn a dick and balls on it, like in addition to a tip and the thing,
because I knew the bartender because I was in there all the time.
Two tips, huh?
I drew a pink dick on it.
And I was like, look that.
Check out out.
And she didn't laugh at all.
And she was like, oh, God.
And I was like, what?
You know?
And then she's like, I'm pregnant.
And I was like, oh.
She told you it, Crawledaddies?
Oh, no, it wasn't Crawled Days.
There was a place in Knoxville she worked at, Double Dogs.
I mean, I thought, you know, double dogs.
She just, but, but yeah, and it really did not have for her.
That's a sitcom, dude.
That's a movie.
I know, the whole thing is, yeah.
But anyway, it reminded me of that this morning.
Obviously, she wasn't at all mad.
It was just like, I'm just like such a dumb, juvenile.
you know, dip shit and in a way that that hit for me.
So I just wanted to share that story.
There have been countless, countless times when I have laid in bed much like you were,
sometimes after the throws of passion and check the group thread and just start howling like a wolf.
And she's like, what?
And I'm like, you just, nothing.
And she's like, no, what is it?
And then I'll tell her the thing.
And obviously it doesn't make anything.
any sense because in our group thread, we have done so much world building.
I mean, it's like the, I'm not, I'm not kidding when I say that the MCU ain't got shit
on our text thread and the lore and the characters and the stories and the nicknames.
Six letters, two words, rat pick.
If you say that correctly, it'll murder me.
Right.
How do you explain that?
Right.
And so I try to.
Frog tinnies.
I'm like, okay, the first part of this reason I'm laughing is,
and then I'll explain like eight stories.
You have to understand Mark was on, he was seeing his fucking, you know, mother-in-law,
and I explained that, and she's like, okay.
Then I'll explain the other, like, okay, Tray used to work at the DOA,
and there was this guy and he had DVDs.
And so then, you know, this, this, this.
And then I go through all the other one, I go, okay, you good now?
So we've set it up.
We're on episode seven of the series and everything's good.
Now here's what this means.
blah, blah, blah, blah, say it.
And she's like, oh, I guess.
And I'm like, right.
She makes me do it every fucking time, though.
She makes me do it every fucking time.
Okay, Andy stopped making me do it.
Like, now I'll just be like, it's a thread thing.
Still wants enough.
You wouldn't understand.
You wouldn't understand.
We need T-shirts that say that, like 90s, no fear t-shirts.
It's a thread thing.
You wouldn't understand.
It's super cool.
And she goes, now she'll just go, oh.
never mind like she's disgusted by the thought of me doing that again i think she'll sometimes
do that but there's sometimes when she's like no i need you to tell me the whole thing and i'm like
okay but just so you know we're going to get to the end of this and it's not going to hit for you
i think maybe once it has but like again the yeah you can't like you you can't just go
start watching loki you know what i mean like you really need to see some other shit first
yeah no i go through that with katie all the time too obviously
this morning was very straightforward.
It was not an example.
It was an example of a different thing,
but the thing you're talking about happens to us all the time.
And it's always exactly like you described it.
Try Taylor.
It's like it won't be funny to you.
You won't get it,
but she will not let it go.
And then you finally explain it.
And, you know,
it never lands.
But, you know,
keeps coming back up.
All right.
And I had one more thing that I know y'all wanted to talk about.
And I believe in the big slap kerfuffle,
it's been forgotten.
And you're about to be excited when I bring it up.
to you right after this.
Okay.
So, boys, big news this weekend out of North Carolina.
Apparently, some old boy in North Carolina abandoned a dog because it was queer.
How about that?
I had forgotten.
Gay dogs.
He found out his dog was gay.
He said, not in this house, God damn it.
Put him out on the street.
And then two, a lovely married gay couple rescued the dog and saved him from the horror.
of, you know, bigot ownership.
But the,
I'm nothing funny about homophobia,
but thinking about a redneck in North Carolina,
abandoning a dog because he has become convinced that it is gay
is so goddamn funny to me in a horrible way.
Yeah, I was about to say,
please excuse my cackling laughter at the beginning,
but it was mainly surprised.
And also, yes,
I think people,
people have lost the sense that you can,
sometimes you laugh at,
the audacity of a thing.
Of course.
You know.
At the person who deserves to be laughed at.
If we laugh at somebody for being so fucking dumb and evil at the same time, then we've lost the pot.
Right.
Like you guys were saying, I shared a link to that story in the thread and y'all started
hypothesizing about how maybe he found out that the dog was gay.
Like he kept bringing back dildos from the woods instead of bone, stuff like that.
His old lady would be playing Ricky Martin and the dog looked like he was dancing when he moved his butt.
Yeah.
He barks with a lisp sometimes.
Yep.
Yeah.
But it's just, he only humps the leg of the decorative couch.
I want to give kudos to the person working at the shelter.
Guy comes in, this dog's queer.
And you know, that's exactly, that's all.
I guarantee you, that's pretty much exactly what that dude said.
This dog's queer, I don't want it.
So somebody there organizes the pictures on the website, writes a little story.
And someone there, a young person, a very funny one, was like, well, let's just tell the story.
And then somebody was like, why would you do that?
And then he or she had to convince their boss, had to be smart enough to know that would work and then convince their boss.
Cudos to that person.
If we ever could find them, I would love to have them on the podcast where they were like trying to convince their boss.
Nope, you don't get it.
This dog was discriminated against, and that's hot right now.
I want to see the Sarah McLaughlin commercial of just gay dogs.
Like all of them sitting there shivering in a pen wearing a fucking Duny and Burke sash.
It would be George Michael.
Yeah.
Yeah, I was going to ask what the song would be, you know, because they would have to switch to that.
It's a father, right?
Yeah.
Father figure.
Yeah.
father figure.
Yeah,
Corey's doing
careless whisper
with the trademark.
That's all right.
No,
that one hits too.
Anything from his Louvo I think
would play for the gay dog
commercial,
the gay SPC,
the ASPC gay commercial.
I was going to say,
kudos to the guy
for not just beating the dog.
We don't know he didn't.
Well, right,
but I'm saying like,
I've tried to beat it out of him.
Wouldn't take.
Whooped his ass every time.
He just keeps going back
to the gay stuff.
Like,
but,
So what's a gay dog?
Seriously, though, what do you think?
Like, presumably he saw the dog humping another male dog on multiple occasions or something like that.
But, like, dogs just, they hump legs.
They hump everything, right?
Like, they're, yeah, dogs are gay.
They're just dogs.
They hump whatever.
So quite literally how you'd be an alpha in that world.
I was going to say, I wish I had a gay dog, but I do because all dogs are gay.
Yeah.
Well, if it's just that he wouldn't eat his alpo anymore.
This queer dog won't eat meat.
Yeah.
Yeah, the dog stopped eating meat.
Man, the dog just got sick.
That's so funny.
I don't know.
Gay dogs, man.
It's funny.
The reason we laugh at it is because it's so...
They embrace the dog's gayness.
A lot of them.
You know, you're right.
They raise the dog as gay.
They lean into the gayness of the dog.
Yeah, I'm a little worried.
That dog might be buying.
Now he's being forced to be gay.
Mm-hmm.
Do you think that guy?
guys not worried about the environment that he's
fostered at his house that would turn his dog
gay? You know what I mean? Like, it could have
been the problem. Is it all these books?
He had all these books.
Yeah.
He also let his wife put
something pink up.
He saw the dog humping another
dude dog and was like, God damn, we're going to have
tornadoes now.
But knows how that works.
I bring a curse on my house.
Yeah.
My, Jesus hate that.
They called the pastor in to pray over it.
Yeah.
Lay hands on the dog.
He laid hands on the dog, the dog got a boner.
I told you he was queer.
He probably also looks at it as like, this is what the world is coming to now.
He's like, this is what happens?
This is a slippery slope.
You start letting the human gays get married next thing.
You know, dogs turning gay now.
And he blames it on the water.
Gay pigs, gay raccoons.
Where does it end?
Okay.
The gay agenda has reached our dogs.
You know he's blaming it on the water.
We used to make him drink out of a mud hole and he was fine.
She started giving him at city water.
And next thing you know, he got all that, not testosterone.
What's the other baby?
What do you got in your pussy?
He got that stuff on him.
And he can't, now he's queer.
Astrogen.
That's it.
Yeah.
Turning the frogs gay.
Turning the dogs gay.
Frogs, dogs all gay.
Yeah.
I have a story if you guys, if we're done with that.
If not, if you got something else, go ahead.
About gay dogs?
Yeah.
Yeah, in a way, it's a short one.
But go ahead, Trey.
No, no.
No, go for it.
I was going to ask about, like, you know, I think we've talked about Bonobos before.
What's the gayest dog?
The monkeys that fuck each other's the guy and stuff all the time.
Bonobos.
Bonobos.
Bonobos.
Yeah, right.
Yeah, and I'm just wondering.
How were you going to say it?
That was a Coriism.
How were you about to say it?
Bonobos.
Bonobos.
Bonobos.
Bonobos.
I don't know.
One of us did a Corey.
I don't think I've ever heard anyone say it.
I thought it was bonobos.
Me too.
For everybody listening that maybe this is their first episode, pulling a
Corey, I think, means being wrong
loudly and stupidly.
About a way of word is pronounced
specifically. Tapatio
mostly just that.
No, Mimoses.
Yeah.
By the most, that's just pronunciation.
Ponovo's are
Cho monkeys and it hits
because every syllable. Because they rape, apparently.
Every syllable of the word can be replaced
with Cho. They don't rape. It's all
consensual. You can't rape the will and
it's an old dumb line. I just love to get down,
dog they just freaky like that just they're the ones that like spread their butts and lick their
butts all that all that they go in and it's all fucking all bets are off they have orgy
matter doesn't matter what kind of monkey parts you got they down with it and i was just wondering like
i think they suck their own dick too they do i've seen them suck their own dick that one yeah the other
day there was one that like jacked off and like skated on the window of a person that was like touring or
something so you knew you're over here like oh so they raped so they're chose and
Meanwhile, you've been doing research.
Watch them.
Look at that.
I just remembered them, yeah.
But I'm just wondering if other, like, and dogs, like we said, they just hump everything.
But I'm just wondering, like, if all animals, you know.
Well, I'm just curious what other animals, you know, be gay or just.
Dolphins, famously.
Wasn't there a gay penguin couple that adopted a baby penguin that's parents had died?
And it was two male penguins and they held hands and they did all the things that.
a male and female penguin couple do
there's all manner of butt fucking in the in nature
I mean they just they just
most most cats are queens
you know for sure
like you know real
real prissy and whatnot
but do they be fucking
france around and I don't know that
they just sort of you know
demand to be worshipped
Ricky Jervais had that special
that special
I mean I'm just kidding around
obviously I'm just
having fun with them. You know how cats are. They're like, yeah, look at me. You know that
is for you. Ricky Jervais did that special where he was talking about homosexual animals or
whatever. And then he got to the slide of the dolphins. And one of the dolphins was fucking the other
boy dolphin's head hole. So I mean, dolphins are fucking maniacs. Yeah, they are. They do be raping.
They fucking, they rape severed fishheads and stuff. Like they, they hard core in a really upsetting way,
frankly but uh but yeah starfish seem gay they have a good time yeah starfish do seem kind of gay
i guess it's like a gay dolphin put a starfish on his head swim around yeah and it looked like
a bottleized it'll be a brown one poodle's the gayest dog right i mean if we're having to do that
which we're not having to but no we don't have to at all more we start to do it the more
That one that you're always referencing has the gayest sounding name to me, and I think it's sort of French.
Bichon fris or whatever.
Bichon fris.
I'm always referencing that.
I've heard you say Bjean-Pri-Sate more than I've ever heard anyone else say it.
Yeah, well, my mom used to have one, and it is a funny sounding fancy dog, yeah.
If I was ever making a fancy dog reference, it would definitely be Bijon fris.
That's how the dad found out.
He found out it was a Bajon-Fri-Say.
He like just got it from somewhere
and didn't know what it was
and then somebody told it.
And it had a French name
and he's like,
oh God,
it's queer.
It's good.
No dog of mine.
Well,
that's what I was going to say.
I think our homophobia
mixed with our redneck
like mistrust of French
and fancy and rich and all that's
like all blending together.
And that's probably what happened to that guy.
My freedom dog's queer.
Yeah.
She,
like he found out how much it cost.
And that's pretty gay.
Yeah.
All right.
I mean,
Yeah.
All right.
So I did comedy Friday.
I did comedy all weekend.
I had a good weekend.
It was fun time.
But I went down to do this show in Redondo Beach on Friday.
Redondo Beach is like close to Orange County or it might be in Orange County.
It's like the closest thing to a conservative part of California that there is.
And I show up.
I didn't really know what to expect.
And he told me the lineup.
And he said I was going last, I thought.
And it was outdoors at an outdoor job.
gym that was a CrossFit gym on a blue football field like Idaho.
Boise State, yeah.
Boise State, yeah.
So it's like off the bat, I'm like, well, this is going to be what it is.
Hell Gig City.
People just start filing in and they keep filing in and they keep filing in.
So there's like a hundred people there.
And I'm like, all right.
And then he comes up and he goes, all right, you're second or third.
I'm like, damn, I thought, you know, I don't, whatever.
I thought I thought I was last and like, that's fine that I'm not.
I'm doing 20 minutes.
this is a proper show.
I was like, all right, well, who's headline?
He points to this guy, and it's a guitar comic.
And right away, I'm like, sorry, I'm fucking opening for this fucking guitar comic or whatever.
I'm like, all right, cool.
I got to say what's up to the guy, and he's like, oh, hey, Drew.
And I'm like, we've met.
I don't remember any of this.
And we met on that show, Trey, where that girl confused me and you and kept telling you that you had done her show or vice versa.
Jeff Ross's show?
No, Blair Sokey.
No, I know, but that happened at Jeff Ross's show.
Yes.
He had like a pop-up art gallery slash coffee shop that he had a show at that we did.
We met at Blair's show.
Okay.
That happened to you after the genesis of that, in which I offended her.
Yeah, yeah, okay.
He remembered that.
That hit for me.
So I'm like, all right, he's a guitar comic, but I'm going to talk with the guy or whatever.
We're shooting the shit.
And my friend Chase was there.
she goes up, she, you know, crushes.
I had one of the best sets I've had in a long time.
I had a blast to the point where it was really hard for him to follow me.
And we'd had enough of rapport that when he got done and he was kind of bringing that up,
I was kind of like, yeah, bitch, you know, like just, I didn't say it like that,
but I wasn't like, oh, no, you were good too.
I was like, sometimes you got a good set.
Sometimes you don't, buddy.
And the whole time, I'm like, man, why did they let this dude go last, you know?
And I hope he never hears this because I'm making it sound like he did.
bad. He didn't do bad. He was funny.
You're just disparaging guitar comics all across
the board. My hero's a goddamn guitar comic.
That's kind of what I was thinking.
You're right that I was thinking that. I was like, this
dude, you know,
he's no Tim Wilson.
Yeah, right. Well, who is?
So then I get a follow on Instagram
and this is why I'm never going to
make it in Hollywood.
This guy
is on S&L.
Word.
I'm like, why the fuck they got me
opening for this fucking dude with a guitar?
And then I didn't big time the guy at all.
He was cool.
I liked him.
We talked football.
I'm not trying to pretend like I did.
But I'm looking back at it,
I'm like, dude, if I buried a guy on S&L,
I would not have acted the way I acted about it
because it would come across as borderline insane
to be like, yeah, that's how it goes, brother, sometimes.
And it's like, yeah, okay, dude,
I could buy your house right now with one of my fucking checks.
What was his name?
That's fucking wild.
Yeah, nobody could decipher the cell.
He's no longer on there, and that's why they can't decipher it, maybe.
Oh, he's not currently on SNL.
Yeah, but he's young.
But anyway, I don't watch it anymore.
I'm not just saying this sincerely.
I would have thought, just for, it's inside baseball.
For anybody that doesn't know, there are like some,
there are like stereotypes about guitar acts and stuff in the world of comedy.
for sure. However, I'm not just saying this. I would have, if I saw that I was, well, you were going before him, so I wouldn't have minded. If I, I would be worried about having to follow a guitar comic. Like my thought, sure, my thought would be like, oh, fuck, man, this dude's going to murder with funny songs that I can't compete with by just saying big words dumbly, you know, like, it's going to be, it's hilarious sledding tonight.
That would have been the situation, but also remember, I discovered his existence at the same time that I found that I was opening for him when I thought I was closing the show.
And it wasn't so much of ego of like, who the fuck is this guy?
It was more like, y'all chose that to close the show.
And I, who, who?
Like, are you sure?
Like, I wanted to be like, to this guy who books a bar show.
It's not a bar show, but what is essentially a bar show.
Damn, I'm sure this guy hits.
for you, but this is about to not go well.
You know, like, guitar comic
don't work unless they super hit. Well, it turns
out he's super hits, and he was great, by the way.
I guess that's the difference in the
assumption, because
I'm not trying to argue with you.
I would think, yeah, that's probably
a good move putting the guitar guy last
show. Because he's going to do
a different thing that's got to
stands a real good chance of murder, and you
can't really go back to the other thing after
that. So putting him at the end
is a good call.
You're right about that.
What I was more thinking, because, and I guess, like, in telling the story, I'm not telling it properly.
To me, this was just some dude with a guitar in L.A.
And so, to me, it's like, yeah, because see, like, I followed Good Cop Rad Cop in Knoxville.
I was able to do that because those people were there to see me.
If we had thrown another guest set up right after Good Cop Rad Cop that was not people that they were there to see, that would not have gone well.
I don't think.
Not at all.
You know what I mean?
Not at all.
Because they smooth.
Well, mostly, too, it was just like me.
I allegedly want to make it in Hollywood.
Just having no clue who anybody is.
And again, I didn't big time the guy at all.
He like got my number.
That's one thing I'll say.
There is a zero percent chance a guy at that level.
It gets my number after a show if I know he's on SNL.
I would have act too weird.
Or I would have been worried that I was going to act weird,
so I wouldn't even talk to him at all.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, for sure.
I'm bad about not knowing who people are, too.
I don't know who people are.
But I try to,
so because of that,
I always just like assume that everybody hits,
you know,
but that has its own pitfalls too sometimes.
For sure.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
So what are you going to do?
Not generalized guitar comics.
I'll be able toize guitar comics all day long.
You should have seen the guy.
That's the other thing.
You should see him.
He's like really good looking.
I have seen him.
I've looked him up since you said this.
It was very easy to find him.
Yeah, it shouldn't work.
It worked.
And it hit real hard.
I mean, that's the guy.
I want to be clear.
He murdered.
Yeah, right.
I don't plug in SNL.
All righty.
Well, let's hit it.
Thank you all for listening to the well-read show.
We'd love to stick around longer, but we got to go.
Tune in next week if you got nothing to do.
Thank you.
God bless you.
Good night and skew.
Corey, do you like fancy shit?
You mean like cereal that don't come in a bag?
Fancyer.
You mean like a car with a moonroof?
Even fancier.
Do you mean like having only one Christmas?
Not quite, but you're getting there.
Do you mean like curating a wine collection with the sole purpose of being an investment strategy
as opposed to the immediate gratification of getting drunk, taking the bag out of the box,
blowing it up and using it as a pillow for a farm party?
Actually, yeah, shit like that.
I do like shit like that.
Well, if you like shit like that, you're going to love putting on airs.
Our new podcast, wherein two very not fancy dips.
Talk about very fancy real shit.
Yep, you can find it wherever you find your podcast, like, subscribe, and tell all your friends.
April 1st, y'all putting on airs.
It's happening.
Skew.
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