wellRED podcast - #274 Living Abroad and Using Humor To Get Through $#^+ E

Episode Date: June 1, 2022

Carmen is back and we are going strong! We talk about living abroad, what the world thinks of America, how much fun partying is in other countries and also grief. Carmen is kind enough to share with us how humor helped her deal with the untimely death of her sister, and how funny a funeral full of BDSM folks can be! Make sure you watch Carmen's Special, streaming now on HBO Max.

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion. Because used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie. I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now. Skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people. People across the ske universe, I should say. Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year?

Do you even know? Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery? Getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low main? Because that's a thing that we do in this society. You know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better. and it's called Rocket Money.

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I used Rocket Money and realized that I had apparently been paying for two different language learning services that I just wasn't using. So I was probably like, I should know Spanish. I'll learn Spanish. and I've just been paying to learn Spanish without practicing any Spanish for, you know, pertinent two years now or something like that. Also, a fun one, I'd said it before,

but I got an app, lovely little app where you could, you know, put your friends' faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies. You know, those weren't a little like the Q-ball-looking twin fellas. Yeah.

So that was money. What was that a reply gift for? Just when I did something stupid. Something fat, I think, and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first. But then I quit using it and was still paying for it and forgotten. If it wasn't for Rocket Money, I never would have even figured it out.

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Hello and welcome to episode two of the well red beard podcast. This is take two of this intro because my dog grow out at the FedEx man who I just found out delivered pasties to my wife so she can wear him over her nipples at Bonaroo. Anyway, it's time for me to give you some dates before we get this episode started. The day this episode drops, Wednesday, June 1st. I'm at Zanies Nashville. I've got DJ Lewis with me. He of Maced in the Butthole Fame.

DJ and I will be doing the Joy Revival Tour all June. June 4th, we're going to be in Asheville, North Carolina at Beauty Bar. June 10th. We're going to be in Chattanooga, Tennessee. Then we're going to be at Bonnaroo, June 16th through 19th. Andy will be there with her pasties. So if that's worth $300 or $300. how much that ticket cost to you. Come check that out. June 22nd, Birmingham, Alabama. I will

announce Knoxville and Bristol and some other dates soon. That's it. Love you guys. Get those tickets. For real. That's the only way I can afford to pasty my family is if you guys buy tickets. Enjoy this episode. We got Carmen back again. She's the best. Welcome to the well-red beard podcast. I am Red Beard. This is my podcast. I will be playing the role of Corey and Trey, as they are in the UK. Yeah. You want to play both roles?

That would be pretty fun. DJ's too busy, but that's something you and him talk about is if he just like plays Corey and Andy plays Trey, you know? Yeah. But then DJ and Andy would have to make out, and I don't know if I could be cool with him. That's true. How are you going to be able to encapsulate the sexual tension between those two friends. Yeah, it'd be tough. I think I'd have to get my third grade math teacher in here.

I don't know that reference. Oh, no, it's just something for me. This is someone I have sexual tension with. I'm thinking about it for many years. Fair enough. Yeah, you would have to, sorry for being dressed. You're real loud. Oh, should I go down? You set it up for it to be there and then you picked it up. You're right. I did that. I made to turn it down. Sorry to blow everyone's ears out. We're working on it. We're working progress, friends. You get it. And you know what? That cut me off from a joke. I didn't want to make it. You didn't? Okay. It's good. I'm glad we stopped you from like not speaking your truth. Oh my God. It wasn't my truth. It was someone else's. I have to catch myself. And sometimes I speak other people's truths,

you know? Like that's my truth. That's your truth. It's not speaking other people's truth. I believe that. I love that for you. That's beautiful. Thank you. You know, that's something I want to talk to. This is not only plans. I don't want to get into it. It's like a half-bit idea I have, but it's also like a broad topic. The internet has made it to where the worst people become the representatives of almost any group

because the algorithm kind of pushes anyone who's like comfortable or wow. Anything that gets clicks. And that's like fucking with us. You know what I mean? Like, you know, okay, as a person on the left who's like trying to be progressive, like that's become associated with like,

just like the worst like don't say that like do you know what I mean yeah I mean I think that's I blame a lot of news publications with that because they're the ones that started putting well somebody some people are on Twitter are saying this and then they just take a bat shit crazy person quote that's not people it's just a person yeah exactly that has like 63 followers but now they're on CNN so now their opinion matters somehow No, Trey Crowder reference, I'm missing.

Yeah, that part's, that's part of it. But also, the groups themselves elevate those people. Do you know, like, these are popular talking heads that a spouse a lot of these. Sure, sure. And I think what happens is people just, like, identify with the alleged strength of those people. You know? Is it strength? No, it's not.

Okay. That's why I said alleged. It's like, oh, this person's loud and has this one opinion I agree with, so I'll share it. And then they become like the sort of, you know, de facto, not leader, but spokesperson of any particular group. And it's like, man, perfect example is, I mean, it's such a mired controversy. But the stuff that has generally been going on with trans people now for years. Yeah. Whether it's some right-wing politician who's like,

And I don't want them using a bathroom with my little girl. Yeah. Or whatever. Right. And then like people who aren't insane, but are afraid of that. Oh my God.

Perverts are getting out for my little girl? They share that. Yeah. And now it's like, well, that's how all right wingers fill or whatever. And then on the other side of that, like I've had to catch myself and realize, oh, like the Twitter representation of trans people,

trans people aren't a model list. They have a wide range abuse about, well, for one example, David Chappelle, I think most people are against him at this point because he keeps harping on it. Well, that's my whole thing. I feel like, him specifically, where it's just like, at some point,

if that's like, because he was a goat for me for a long time and poignant and brilliant in so many categories. And then when it started, and even just in the first one, I was like, oh, you're ignorant, you don't know what you're talking about.

But then when you do four specials, in succession, you know, in succession and can't let it go. Yeah, it just feels like it's more he's obsessed with it, you know? And it's like, are you, like, and so for me, I'm always curious, just because I always got to, I'm always curious about people's motives and stuff like that. Are you, is it that you don't understand?

Is it that you, um, like you can't wrap your head around it? I mean, there, there is like one point that I think he made that I understood and I necessarily agreed with, but it, when it's like, you're trying to get equality for people of color of all kinds. And then trans people have like that whole point that he made that they made way more progress faster. And it's because white people, you know, there's more white people, white trans people, etc, etc. I get that from a, you know, understanding from a perspective of a black man. I understand that.

But again, four specials about it. Yeah. Yeah, it just seems like now you don't have really anything else to talk about. Yeah, honestly, I regret bringing him. up because the four special thing kind of takes him out of what I'm I guess I'm trying to get at because it's like clear that he's got some sort of like weird obsession yeah like maybe a better example is with sports with this trans folks in sports arguments I have like been surprised to discover that there maybe not a majority but like quite a few trans people who are like we don't

give a shit if we can swim or not you just like please give us health care and let us like not murder us or whatever yeah can you stop killing us and let us be a person and the point I was simply trying to make was like, you know, that's the perfect example of each side getting represented by perhaps the majority, but by like one faction and the loudest ones and the ones who make the sharpest points. And Twitter's very good with snark. So if you're snarky, you're going to rise up on. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And the internet's kind of doing that to us. And it's not just political stuff. It's so many things. Every group now seems to be kind of known by their assholes. And again, it's like an idea I have for a bit, but it's also just something I think is problem, I don't know, problem that's the right word. I don't know. Bad about the internet? I'm not very eloquent.

I'm not a lot of tequila. I think it's also just annoying because then it's like, that's the other thing too is I think it's harder. I think more and more people will watch that or retweet that or whatever, but they don't live by that. Exactly. I think it's a, it's a, it's a misrepresentation of people in general. I can't live by the most angry or hate.

for self-righteous tweet I retweet or the most loving and peaceful and accepting tweet I retweet. I cannot live by either of those things. I just at a particular moment I was like, oh yeah, I can feel that right now. The thing that I find annoying about that specifically is a lot of times people who are against the thing that they're

retweeting because they're like quote tweeting and then responding and it's like you're still promoting the thing that's awful. People don't seem to get that all that matters now on the internet is clout. So any version of a retweet or reply is helping it. I don't want to say people don't to get it. Some people are starting to, I have noticed

a lot of people being like, I won't reference it, but can we please stop retweeting X, Y, or Z? I muted the phrase gun girl. Do you remember that woman? She was a student at, I think Kent State, which is a wild university for this She would always have a gunner. She would

like carry an A.K. around school and pose with pictures. She shit herself at a party once, and people would make fun of her for that. She was like a right wing meme. She kind of became a right wing meme. And she was young. and she was on, she went on Greg Gutfield and Fox News and all that. And I just got tired of hearing about it because I was like,

the left is making her irrelevant. Yeah. Not the rights. There's plenty of young people. So she just brought a gun to school and that was it? And then she took a graduation photo with it and it said something like, liberals don't want, liberals are afraid of this pick, who knows what. Something obnoxious.

And so then people like Doxter and they were like found this old story of some guys talking about how she shit herself at a party. in front of everybody wants. Yeah. And it was funny. I get while we're doing that to somebody we don't like. You know,

and I'm not going to partake, not because I'm self-pricious. I didn't find it that funny. It wasn't good enough bit. Yeah, it wasn't funny enough, yeah. But it was like, oh, we made her irrelevant. You know, the hashtag gun girl,

you made her a thing. Yeah. Now she gets to like, you know, that was going to be so loud in her ears. I don't remember how to turn it off. You'll figure it out my love?

It took me so long, Carmen, to figure out of turn it off on my life. own laptop. And I had on the end of the Abisket fans writing in to just be like, hey, you're killing our ears and here. But here's the thing, they all give me a different way to do it. I followed all of them, none of the other. You got to love the IT advice from not IT people. To be fair to them, it could have been that I didn't execute their advice problem. Sure. I should not be a producer of a podcast. I am currently a producer of three. Now, it's already gone.

well that's not exactly true Bubba shot is over for a while so Bubba shot the podcast will be back for a season too soon do you like country music I like some of it it's more old stuff how old like

highwayman old you know like that kind of stuff that's my favorite too but Bubba shot is a 90s country podcast because it's about like what we grew up with because our parents are playing it on the radio did you like strawberry wine or any of that I like strawberry one but I didn't like most things

then because it was like that was kind of like that re, that big surge of like pop country that came out which is kind of annoying. Like I like the Dixie Chicks and I like yeah and um but outside of like but that was just because they were murdering people in their songs

and I liked that. So rad. We did that song. The guy who wrote that song has a whole universe of characters that he references in other songs. So as one example Sammy Kershaw has a song I think you'll find this interesting as a creator. Cemi Curseo has a song called

Queen of my Double Line trailer and in it the protagonist is have the first courts the queen of his double-wife trailer and he makes her the queen of his double-wife trailer then he loses her and he has to get her back and the guy that he loses her to and he does get her back and I don't want to keep you to

suspend the world in your heart I know women can't take that kind of thing I know it's so weak and fragile but the guy she leaves him for is she said his name is a hero and he's the Charlie Daniels of the Torch Ranch. Dennis Lindy who wrote the song is on the

record saying that that is the Earl who had to die. Oh, wow. Okay. So he wanted to make reference. Okay. Yeah, and he's done it with a few different songs. He actually wrote the song that are... So he's basically like Marvel Universe sing a bunch of country songs that they're all... It's all the same people. That's what Trane Corrie said.

I went with Faulkner. Faulkner had a whole universe of people. You know, we're all different. We all have our... Yeah, sure, really. Yeah. But yeah, he's got a... Fultner's for, you know, the older people that read. I'm talking to the younger generation. You get them read? Yeah, that don't read comic books.

They just go see the movie. I love it. All right, let's get into some of the stuff we planned on talking about. I just surprised you. We've been friends. How long have we been friends? We've known each other seven years, eight years? Eight, yeah, eight.

Yeah, eight. Yeah, probably. And I would consider us friends, like genuine friends. Yeah, at least since I've moved to L.A. Around that time. Yeah. You didn't know I'd lived abroad. I didn't know you lived abroad.

I've lived abroad twice. In both, and two places I have never been to. Very white places. Well, one's not that wide. It just depends on which part of town you're in. Right. I went to a white university, white issue university there. South Africa.

I was in college, I studied abroad there. What were you studying? You studying law? Politics. Okay. Yeah. But that was borderline irrelevant. What happened was

I had plans to go I think to Spain when I first got to college and I was going to take Spanish and I wanted to study abroad and I got all A's in Spanish and she was not a hard teacher she had a crush on me

and I I don't want to say subconsciously because I meant to but I didn't plan it I just took it like it's some part of me when I found that I can get an A Airbnb in this class I stopped doing anything I stopped doing anything

I still want to study abroad my choices were London or South Africa Africa for programs that were taught in English. So that. All the way. Who would want to go to London? I mean...

What kind of disgusting person was to go? Yeah, what kind of weirdo? Obsessed with colonialism? Yeah. People invented all the bad stuff? Yeah, the people that took everything from everybody else and then didn't even use them appropriately. Like, you guys stole all the fucking spices from everywhere in the world and your food is still bland.

You guys invented racism and didn't come up with rock and roll? Come on. Come on. Who the fuck would want to go to England? Yeah, why would you colonize everything and then not steal the pool parts? You didn't eat beans for breakfast. Like a fucking loser. What an asshole.

Who would ever go to London? Anybody who's interested in England is suspect. I hope you guys listening are picking up what we're throwing down. What are you throwing down? Oh, I thought we were making fun of Trey and Corey and Corey are in England. That's right. That's right. I had totally forgotten and that was completely innocent on that bar.

I had forgotten that they were in England without me. I was definitely making fun of them. Oh, I was innocent. That's not something I had thought of even a little bit. I'll drink tequila. I don't even miss them. I don't even miss them. Hope you guys are enjoying your breakfast beans.

Well, I'm over here fucking hanging out with Carmen, which is way cooler. We're in the valley. You guys ever heard of that? There's a fucking target of block from here. And also, you can get tacos for $2. but they don't have tacos in England. Some bullshit-ass curry. Which was also stolen.

Yeah. Curry is literally the only thing that I can think of that they stole and then like, you know, did it correctly or whatever. Yeah, I feel like, I think that's weird in different because they colonized other places and stole stuff from them. But then the opposite side of that, like, my ancestors went and colonized other places and like injected themselves into it as far as like Spain goes.

Like the conquistadors went, it was kind of like a combination of like Viking in the sense that they like raped the natives. Yeah. And then made them speak Spanish and like believe in Christ. And then like we literally raped. Yeah. You know. And you know, we raped the Aztecs and the Incans and made South America.

and blended a lot. I think that a lot of people who live in South Africa or trace their ancestry back to both now. Am I miss speaking? I mean, I don't know. Whereas like many Americans claim that they're one-eighth Cherokee, the fact is, no, we killed most of them.

Yeah. I think in South America, the Spanish, really did start to mix. It might have been forcefully. I'm not saying it's better. I'm just saying it's different. Yeah, sure. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I don't know. I wasn't alive to ask them. I know you think I'm older, but I wasn't alive to ask them. But I do think that... I just say that most... There was some consensual sex probably happening, too, but there was definitely a lot of, hey, we have better weapons than you're wrong.

Here's what I'm basing it on entirely. I just extrapolated all that from one thing that I do know that I've read, whether it's true or not. That most Mexican people have both European and... Mayan or Aztec? It depends on which parts. There's Incan, Aztec, yeah, Mayan. Have all that in their blood.

Whereas most Americans don't have any native in their blood. Like, instead of breeding with them, we killed them. Yeah. This is such a, all these words coming out of my mouth. You know, instead of breeding them, what we did, we fucking murdering me. You got to do both. You know, you just kill the ones that are really fighting against you. everybody else can stay.

Well, I think I've also read the diseases is actually why, not that this makes it okay, but like that we came only a few at a time, and then by the time more of us came, many Native Americans in America were dead because of the diseases. Like, we actually got them. I mean, he got them with a fucking smallpox blankets and shit. Like, you know, it was the,

it was a shitty sales deal is what it was. Hey, we're going to take all this land, but we got you these cool. put this little wrap around and you get cold and good luck fighting with no medicine I just remember like year two of comedy

it was year three it was 2012 or maybe it was year two because we were coming up on 2012 remember the Mayan calendar stuff yes I do remember and I had a bit about how

I don't believe they could predict the future because they didn't reject the blankets and when you remember they didn't protect the candidecate the conquistadors do they didn't predict any of that. That's what I'm saying. Why don't that calendar say, hey, when the white man come, no, I don't trust it. Yep, don't take nothing. And you remember J.C.

from Knoxville? Yeah. I was doing the first time I did the bit, like at a mic from the crowd, I'd hear him say, almost like under his breath. They were Spanish. I was like, yes, Spanish people were white, God damn it. I don't know. I've always been nifted about that. Spanish people get away with, you know, not being white. I mean, yeah, I'm literally living that life. You literally have great bits about it.

I had your shirt on earlier. That was the bit of it. Yeah. Exactly. That's great. But yeah, I mean, but that's the other thing to you is acknowledging that I always feel like is, I get it.

So you just try to use that for powers, you know, use it for good. Yeah, that's all you could do. Yeah. I can't, I mean, I can't un-keastador things. I can't un-Q-K-E-T-D-O-R-T-O-T-O-T-O-E-N-K-E-E-N-K-E-E-N-K-E-E-S. Yeah, I'm the Un-C-E-S-A-N-E-E-S. That's a comedy tour I'd never want to see. Do you remember there was a comedy tour,

I swear to God, I think it was called Racist, R-A-C-E-S, and it stood for something, and it was like an attempt to be diverse and woke. Yeah. But they booked horrible comedians, and it sounded like when they would promote it, the racist comedy tour. Yes. I think races was the organization. That's what it was.

The races was the organization. And it was like a great organization. It was like, yeah, diverse. And it was like helping, you know, oppressed groups, et cetera, et cetera. But yeah, anytime it was like, oh, yeah, we're doing a benefit show for races. It's like, what? I'm not giving money to that. Get the fuck out of here.

And I don't know how many they did. But the one that I saw them do either in Chattanooga or Knoxville had terrible comedians out of it, too. Which makes it even worse. Yeah, exactly. It's like, oh, now not only was it a hard sell to get anyone out, but then when they get there, they're like, Jesus. Right. It should be for racist.

This sucks. Especially when, and I cannot imagine how frustrating this is, for any marginalized or non-white male cis group, when someone does a comedy show. And I'm sure this is true, TV shows, music industry, whatever. And they're like, we've got to get away from the fact that this is a white male-dominated industry. And they book terrible people. it's like got to be quadruple frustrating because oh yeah because first of all there's so many hilarious people who aren't

there's so many good ones well that's what that's the thing that's like um i feel like it's starting to happen and i think that's part of the reason why you get a little bit of the you know the backlash from white dudes where they're like oh it's harder now it's just like no it's harder to be just okay yeah that's really what it is which is you know it's a slap in a face to somebody or it's been okay to be okay just okay. Yeah. And that's worked out well for a lot of people. But now you have to be good,

which is like what we've had to do forever. When you just had the one female. Like that's what I was talking about. Like, just having one female on the lineup or one person of color on the lineup and stuff, you had to be so good. Meanwhile, everybody else in the lineup didn't have to be good.

I'm going to give you a little, not pushback, but I would say that the standard was great and good. You had to be really good as a white guy and great. as something else. Yeah. And the reason I say that is,

I do know a lot of good white guys who got very better. Sure. And they weren't okay. Yeah, they were better than okay. But they weren't great. Right. And it was like, well, there's five spots

for white guys. And there's five spots for everyone else. Yep. So you have to have the best to be eight. Yeah. The best is a bad person you can find. And that, yeah.

I did a TV spot, like a small one in Nashville. And there was a guy from St. Louis. I can't remember him. his last thing. I always feel a shame my camera his last thing because he was so funny and so cool. And we started talking about JFL drunkenly because it was just being announced afterwards.

And I had auditioned that year. I made it in the second round and I think he had to and I thought he was about to hit me with some of that stuff. And it was such a cool moment for me just for me and him because I didn't know the guy. And he starts hitting me with you know, there's a lot less

white guys now. And I was like here we go. Like what's this to be about to be about? But his point was he had a good friend, an Asian comedian who literally was told, like you went through the last round or whatever, how about next year, we also have an Asian.

We already have an Asian. That's the other side of this too. That's super annoying. It's like, um, it's just, yeah, and that goes along with like the whole,

they're just picking a kind. Yeah. There's no thought into the kind of kind, if that makes sense. It's like the kind of like, you're not thinking about the, and this is like a, a thing that I always like to think about as far as the show in its entirety.

Even when I'm performing on a show or someone is booking a show, that's how I think about it is that how the show itself is. So for instance, if you have like a high energy person, you don't book somebody who's like really soft spoken after them. You know what I'm saying? And the same kind of vein, I feel like it's the same thing with diversity. Like, you know,

you don't book just one kind of, Like, you know what I'm saying? It was just like when they learned, like, I always talk about this with, with funches. It's like, oh my God, the industry learned that there's nerdy black people.

Wow. That it's not all, you know, dudes dressed in like purple suits, like fucking, what's his face from family, family feud? What's his name?

Steve Harvey. Steve Harvey. Not every black comedian is fucking Steve Harvey or Bruce Burrs or whatever, you know? And no, no other black comedian can be for us. No, no,

that's very true. As a person who's featured for more than once, nobody can do it. he's a powerhouse. There's like 10 people, and some of them are huge, like Cat Williams. There's like 10 people or so that I have a list of where it's like, this is a different thing. No one can follow that.

Like, you know what I mean? It's just like crush, top top, top, you know? And some people who have that were not cool. We're not woke. Like, I don't love Andrew Dice Clay, but he murdered in his time. Of course. It was unfollowable. Yes.

You know what I mean? And it's just like, you can't do anything with that. I mean, Kat Williams, who I love and who is right about most things. Also has this weird bit about how you don't believe in evolution because we still got monkeys. Well, it's not, evolution isn't just a, it's not a start and stop thing. There's plenty. It's a gradient. Doesn't matter.

It's Cat Williams. One of the most brilliant people of all times. He's also another one. he's like, he's always surprisingly progressive. Every time, you know, he gets put in this, like, position to like, just dazzling,

just amazing, like, and I don't know if that's like an ignorance on my part, like, why wouldn't he be? But it's just like, you could be old. Yeah, I think that's what it is. And I'll say it, and from the south and comes from a community where on certain topics, like it's hard to be there.

For instance, like, and like a lot of the, you know, the, from the, the Baptist upbringing, then there's like way more hobophobia. I get all that, yeah, for sure. And that's not, like, me too. Me coming from the South, I was raised in a place where getting to that point is rarer.

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Especially somebody at that age. Yes. Can you imagine if there was a white comedian his age who hit on his level? It was like that? Well, in some ways it's pepitone.

And the word is just catching up to Eddie. Like, I love it. I go to his shows. More and more people. There are so many 21-year-old. did his show. They love it because he's like dark and ironic and angry.

Yeah. And it's also there's also a whimsy about about his anger. His anger isn't it's not it's not righteous anger and it's not ignorant or hateful. The anger is silly

and I think that's what it is. It's finally being able to see somebody rant that doesn't have any kind of like malice on the back Sure. Yeah. He's so brilliant. I love him. I think he's brilliant. So brilliant. To get us somewhat back on topic, but segue

from that, England is sort of catching up to us in saying that. No one else is. Australian comics, I don't mean the shit on them. There's some very funny ones, but their best is our beating. Well, to be fair, this is our art form. It's going to take a while. But I think you're right. I think the UK is starting. And there's like

there's like way more places. Yeah. May, I forgot our last name. Their last name. They're great. Oh, yeah. I don't remember it either. Although now I'm thinking about it,

they live in London, but they're from either Canada or America. Okay, okay. They have American accent. Well, yeah, there's also, like, way more places. And I think because of the pandemic, too, like way more people were able to perform over there than here. Just because they took the pandemic seriously for longer,

and then they weren't able to perform sooner. Imagine how they're a stand-up comics. It's crazy. Wow, it's so crazy how that works. I'm so white. My face is blown out. It's going to be, and I got cancer.

Wait, that's what that is. You know that, right? No, I thought you just got a really cool bar fight. No, they dug it out. Yeah, okay. Oh, I thought you knew that. We didn't talk with that. Well, they all know.

I've done a bit about it. I posted it. All right. I'm sorry, I missed that real. I didn't listen to, you know, this, whatever, you know. It's not on HBO. I'm afraid of, I did it French. I know, yeah, I don't know.

Well, because... Speaking of being a conquistador, I did spend two weeks in Spain recently. Yes, that's what I wanted to talk about. Thank you. You're welcome. Do you go regularly? It's the place I visited the most for sure. How many I'm going to do you do?

I've been five times. Wow. Yeah. We have family there. Okay. So, I think the first time I visited. I went was in, oh, no, the first time I went when I was a kid, maybe. No. No, no, no, no. Oh, six. It was the first time I went. And I think, no, I've been four times now. Four times.

But I've found out of all the CIA. That's what I'm gathering here. Four times, five times. One number two weeks. Let's see. I got a passport. Who's asking? But I got a family there. You know, it's also like, I want to know where the source comes from. Because obviously, we talked about this in Keystador. They visited the islands too. I don't know if you know that. They thought they were the West Indies. Yeah. But that's not where India was. I heard about that. Yeah, did you hear about it?

Did you, do want to visit the sort? Did you kiss the ground like Oprah when you got there? No. The Motherland? Mm-mm. No. No. Oh, but I do like it. I do feel... Could have been a cool reel. It could have been.

But I did like it. I do like it there. First time you went, how old were you? 21 or 22. That's a cool age, in my opinion. To go abroad. Yeah. Just old enough to drink. Yes.

You know. And like kind of know about yourself in the world, but not really. Right. You're like so open. You can be influenced by it. You can totally be influenced. But if you're 16, like you're mush. You know, you're not bouncing off this new culture.

Yeah, it's like bringing a newborn to SeaWorld. Like, what's the point? Yes. Where did you bring a four-year-old to Sea World? Oh, my God. Lo their mind. Aren't it. They're real.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's exactly what it's my name. It's almost like you're a comedian who doesn't know. Okay, so who were you with? Oh, sense. By yourself? With folks? No, I went with this.

It was like a friend of my aunt. It was kind of like a boring white lady teacher that she used to travel by herself. Very high, strong. There was a reason she was in her 40s and had never been married to have a situation. Maybe. She did have a, I'm certain she was, like, questionable to some people. Like, I don't know if she'd ever, like, like work that out.

But she gave, give those vibes, at the very least, um, bye. Or maybe asexual. Maybe asexual. But no,

she always talked about how she wanted to be with somebody. And she specifically men, but she was also like so regimented. I could see that it would be difficult to find someone that would also adhere to all of her. Like, she'd have been alone for too long, I think.

So then she was very set in her like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's a, that's a reason a lot of people stay together. Yeah, where they're like, you know what? I don't want to learn anybody else's shit.

Not doing it. Yeah. If I ever fuck this up with Andy, I don't think I'll ever get married. Never, dude. I'm not saying I won't fuck, but I'm not getting married. Yeah, yeah. Why? Yeah, no, I don't know.

It's a lot of work. Yeah. Love is a lot of work. Anyway, I want to get back to your trip. So, yeah. So was she like, I'm trying, you said she was. She just wanted to go to Spain. She didn't speak Spanish.

Oh. Did she pay your way? Because you spoke Spanish? points. So she was like, if you come with me, I'll use my points. So my round trip ticket to Spain when I was like 21 was like $57 or something like that's like when the rich people would take a handicapped person in Disneyland. Yes, that was the handicapped person. Yeah, without question. And so. Did you have to spend most of your time with her because of that? Oh yeah. We spent so much time. We went for 10 days. I think we went for 10 days. And then to change my flight was like another. $50. So then I just stayed for like two months. That rules and I got excited because I did the same thing both times I lived abroad. I was very much an outlaw in Australia, but we would get into that. So you stay for two months, you just stay in with family?

Yeah, I just stayed with my cousins in Spain. And then I would go, I'd bought this Euro rail pass, which was like $300. And then, but I could use it as much as I was like an unlimited access. So I paid. And the EU was in full-fledged in 06. Meaning you could go anywhere if you wanted to Sure, but I just went Mine was specific to Spain

Okay, okay The past I bought was specific to Spain So then I would just, whenever they had to work and shit I would just go to a train station And then that word looks cool And then go there Fuck, yes, I just to love to travel like that Because that was the whole thing is she was very

She was so regimented It was like, okay, she was like going by like a travel book And all that shit And like Prong? Yes, one of those fucking things It was boring You know, I get it. It was, you know, I don't know.

There was plenty of cool stuff that she wanted to see, but it was almost like being on a tour in that like, okay, we only have two hours to do this, then we have to move on to the next thing. And that's not me at all. And it's cool. Even at 22, I was like, no, I want to go get hammered with these people I just met this week.

You know, I wanted to do that, because that's what ended up happening when I went to, after she left and I stayed longer, I went to where my family's from, which are pretty much the hellbillies of Spain. No bullshit. Yeah, the northern West Coast of Spain. It's called Galicia, is the province.

All rural, rural as fuck, all like, you know... Can I say this is the first time someone's told me a story sincerely about rednecks or hillbillies and it was in the north? I've had this weird thing where almost every... We've talked to people about Finland. We've talked to people about rednecks in France.

They're almost always in the south. I'm excited they're in the north. Yeah. But the north is on the border of France. Am I correct? In fact? Incorrect? There's the, I mean, the river's there. So it's closer to Portugal. Okay, cool, cool, cool, cool. On that side, yeah.

The man. Yep. So, um, so I went over there and I just met a couple that lived across the street from my family that lived up there. Did they like your vibe? And they did like my vibe, but not like that. It was, he was Romanian and she was from Spain. And when they met each other, neither one of them knew each other's language. And they were married and had a kid.

My papal did that. So crazy. Go ahead. Wait, what happened with your pap on? He was in the war, and he couldn't speak Italian. He was based in Trieste, Italy, and he got with a woman, and they were together for like six years. And they eventually, over that time, he learned some things, but when they met, and he had a kid, and he had to leave her. The Army wouldn't let him marry her because of the fascist party, most of the ladies' party.

Yeah, yeah. He wouldn't let you marry any Italians. And I don't think he wanted to, to be honest. And he left him, and then she put his daughter for adoption, and then she got in contact with him like a decade later and would wrap the family. and right my aunt Connie, who was technically her younger sister. Wow. And I always told him that I would go over there and find her. I'm just remembering this, not for the first time ever, but like for the first time in a few years.

I need to go do that. Yeah. Let's go to Italy. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck yeah. Because that's the other half. That's the other half of me. So it's like I always wanted to go to Spain because I wanted to see where, you know, I came from.

Yeah. So that's Italy's the other side of that. So you were going for 10 days. then you and your family get along and you end up spending two or three months. It's amazing how well we got to, like, got along. Like, my cousin and her husband, like, I love my family,

but I connected with them on like a, like on a soul level. Oh, yes. And, uh, and we just kind of understood each other. And even though, like, my Spanish then wasn't that great, uh,

we would still, we would talk about politics and like the difference. One of my, one of my favorite things in this, in this last trip is my, my cousin always goes, Because he loves North America. He loves Americans.

He loves America. And, like, he's got a Marilyn Monroe statue in his house. Like, he's got, like, a fucking curio of, like, John Wayne, a little action figure guys. Like, he, like... Not me, but pretend other people don't know what curio means. A curio, it's just, you know, a place you would store. That's kind of like a curio if you have, like, a shelf.

Yeah, a series of shelves with a door, and that's glass. You could see in it. You know, a good place to keep you. Chinat Camp. Yes, that's a... Yes, but yeah, sure. But not that. Yes.

Curios are usually skinnier than a China cat. Okay. Sorry, go ahead. But I love traveling outside of the United States because if you're not too American about it, you can learn about how the rest of the world kind of sees us versus how we see ourselves from within. Totally. Kind of like you go out to lunch and then you see a couple fighting and you're like, oh, the problem is right there. You can just see it because you're not emotional.

invested and so you can easily see the problem. We're going to talk more about that when we come back after this break, which we have been totally forgetting to do. I don't know if you guys listened to last week, but we had to force those commercial breaks in because it turns out Drew is not great at producing podcasts when they have commercial breaks. We'll be right back. We're back.

We're back. So like I was saying, my cousin, right? loves America and he always likes to talk to me about what the fuck is wrong with us, right? He, you know, because he likes to, you know, people shit on America and he likes to defend it and because he likes it. So he gets mad when he has a hard time defending it. So he's like, I don't understand why, because the problem, I think part of the problem is, is like what they're showing over there is all reality television. It's old movies and reality television. and what an awful representation of what is here.

I mean, sure. John Wayne and Snokey. Yeah, exactly. All movies and fucking, yeah, Jersey Shore or, you know, weird sword competitions and just all of the cheap TV goes over there. Are you disparaging weird sword competitions in my house right now? I just mean it doesn't represent all the entire country, is what I'm saying. You damn right, because they can't keep up with us outside of South.

When it comes to weird swords, we got the best ones. Don't represent the whole country at all. One observation that he made that I absolutely adore, he's like, I don't understand how people can have a shitty house, and then the only things that are ever improved are their televisions and their refrigerators. Those are the only things that ever get big. They will have a house full of furniture from the Kennedy administration, but they have like a thousand-inch television,

in like three freezers. And it's like it seems like it's the only part of their house that they want to improve. And I was like, oh my God, whatever weird observation that is acutely accurate. You know, that new TV won't play this at the game. I think your cousin needs to chill out on that. I mean, to some of that is, because I've seen this coming from, I guess, like, coastal elites, for lack of a better phrase, towards when they see like pictures of like a, a kind of kind of boxy modular home, not a mobile home,

but a model them with a very nice car in the driveway. And it's like, yeah, one of those things is expensive and the other one is out of their league. Like, you know what I mean? Like, like, now, your cousin's making a fair point because they could afford a new cow. Sure. Yeah, that's what it is.

But I do think in America, people outside of America don't understand that our stuff is cheap and our housing and our land is not. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Absolutely. Like being on top. the world hegemony for however many years

we have been, that's what it's led to. This nightmare where you can afford a phone that would make people in Europe salivate probably. They literally, yeah. They're like when I would go, when, you know, there's like certain places we went to where there's just like a lot of people that pickpocket and shit, they're like, oh, don't

use, don't let them see that you have an iPhone because it's $2,000 over there to have an iPhone. Right. And there's no program or sign up for this deal. Yeah, you don't get it for free. If you just get the last year's model or whatever. But we can't afford to eat well. Right.

That's one thing I loved over there is you could be a poor person and eat amazingly. And I'm not saying that you would be eating steak all the time or whatever. I'm saying just the good quality food. You can eat good food and eat healthily and at every level. Because that was the other thing he asked. He goes, why do people in America eat so shitty? And I had to explain to him because health is classist here, essentially. Like, if you want insurance, if you want to go to the doctor, you have to have money.

You have to have money. If you want to eat organic, because you don't even have to worry about organic in Spain. Because, like, you're like, oh, these potatoes are from that fucking guy right over there. He makes them. Yeah, and they have rules against a lot of that stuff. I mean, there's so many chemicals that are banned there. And even in parts of Africa, when I was living in South Africa, like, I noticed that the chicken was smaller. And I asked someone about it.

I was like, this is a weird question. but like, why the chicken's smaller? Because they're not pumped. Yeah, because they're not jacked. Yeah. And they're not allowed to. Yes. And that's, you know, it's like such a wild thing to process that they're just allowed to.

I get in these, I get, I get, I get in arguments with this about, with my dad about this stuff because, you know, he's like, he talks about how like GMOs were, you know, to fulfill a need and more people, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, yeah, but here's the thing is if one year, if we don't have enough fucking cows, I'm okay with not having steak all the time because we don't have. enough cows more so than I am I have to worry about what drugs are given the cows so we have cow to eat like I'd rather just get because then guess what then it's the treat like it's supposed to be it's also not such a black and white thing where you go well GMOs are invented it's like sure you know um arguably I was going to do a bit I was going to do an analogy with police and I was actually police were just invented to fucking collect slaves so never mind let me back off that but like whatever government institution you hate, it's like, yeah, all these things were created

for a reason to fulfill a need, but now they've gone the way of everything that's capitalism, where it's like, now it's just to make the most amount of money. Yes, what's greed. Gride is everything that's wrong with our country. I mean, in a capitalistic society, it's always greed. Which is wild when you think about one of the most absolutisms in the Bible is that the love of money is the root of all evil. Like, you won't find... You know what? Jesus and I finally agree. something. And so few Christians in this country fuck with that mentality. And I realize Christians are hypocrites

generally in the evangelical world and all that. But it's just wild. That's an absolutism in that bike. The Bible, I mean, it does have a lot of absolutism. It's like, it's right there. You can't. The love of money, root of all evil. And then you go to these fucking preachers, you know you need more money. And here's how you get it. The Lord said I need a jet. So do the Lord came to me and he said, I need...

Do televangelious existence, pain? Definitely not here. No. I mean, there's cathedrals everywhere. So, and I was there... The characters doesn't allow, like, televangelism in general, though. No. They allow you to rate little boys, but... But that's the whole thing. They don't want so much

for us that you're just going to find out that more easily. It's harder to shuffle people around when they're in the limelight, you know? So it's not perfect in this thing. Catholics are still there. There are Catholics there. So how many times? You've been back three times since then. Do you always stay with the same folks? Yeah.

Well, yeah. I mean, I love them. They're my favorite. So, of course. I just go to different parts every time. Yeah. So I've been all around that fucking place. I'm going to go.

Annie and I've been time of going to Spain. Honestly, for almost four years now because we started talking about how we were going to go, and then the pandemic hit. You know what I mean? I was like putting it off because well red was touring heavily. And I was like, we're going to go. And we were going to go the first year of the pandemic.

It hit March where you had plans to go that October. Oh, wow. Yeah. That's a good time to go, fall. Fall is a good time ago. Yeah. Spring and fall of the west. In Barcelona.

Barcelona. Yeah. Which is also that they're having like a weird kind of situation in that like the Catalonians want to like separate from Spain. Which is kind of like a. So they do have a Texas. It's kind of is a little Texasy in the sense that they don't have any history there. Right. Whereas like for instance.

Our Texas history is very Spanish. Yeah, it is. So that's trying to get Texas about it. They're still mad about it. Well, that's the other thing, too, is, like, there was that, there was an uprising, like, for the same kind of thing with the Basque country. But they had their own language. They had their history there. They were there before the Spanish colonized that area.

Like, at least historically, I understand why you would want to have your own, be separate. But these guys in particular, I don't understand why. And they're going about it in kind of a shitty way. So it's like, you know, there's... As opposed to the good way to succeed? I mean, is there a good way? I don't know. That's what I'm getting at. Maybe.

Yeah, I don't know if there is or not. I mean, but I'm just saying, like, if you were here before you were Spanish, if you were here, you know, pre-conquistador, I understand why you would want to be like, hey, it's just kind of like when you think about, like the things in the middle of, like the Azerbaijan and like, what's it called? Oh, my God. mania and all that stuff, where it's like, for me, personally, I was like, well, if who, who was there first, who took over who? I understand if you would want to be yourself again,

as long as, you know, it's long as it's not going to like, because, yeah, I mean, yeah, I guess that's what it is, where it's like, they don't have any of that historical context in the sense to, like, justify just all of a sudden, we want to be separate. Yeah. Is it about freedom? You know, is it about like, don't tell me what to do? Is it about taxes? What's it about? Yeah, I don't know enough. I didn't look at it. Yeah, you've spent a few days. Yeah, you've been all over.

Yeah, I didn't. Your cousins aren't into that, whatever it is. Well, I mean, to be fair, they're biased, because they're Spain-Spanish, so. Yeah. Right. They're against it. Yeah, they're against. Yeah, this is bullshit.

But then, like, I remember the first time I went, like, there was a terrorist organization called ETA, ETA, that was, like, they were the ones in charge of, like, the boss people trying to separate and stuff like that. And we would talk about that, and, like, they were. pretty neutral about it, whereas like, yeah, I get why they want to do that. I don't know. I don't know that bombing places and murdering people is the way to do it.

But I could understand why. This is just like all of a sudden they want to be separate. Just kind of out of nowhere. Yeah. The best thing is kind of the IRA a little bit. Yeah, well, you know, forget it, you've been conquered, but maybe stop blowing up. Yes. I mean,

far be it for me to tell people to stop blowing stuff up at this point. When I've been saying, everybody should blow stuff up for a while. Let's move on from that. Is that the only place you've been abroad? No, I went to South Korea in Japan. Yeah. It's all military tours, though, so it's like...

I know you're military tours. Yeah. When did you do military tours? A few years ago. Obviously pre-pandemic. I missed that. Yeah, me too. Was it a few years ago, like pre, me really knowing it?

I think Obama was an office. Yeah. I mean, that's eight years. I don't know. A long time. Yeah. And my dad. It was forever.

Oh, wait. Well, it was. Yeah, I think it would have, it was, no, it was after I knew. I think it was like 2016, 2015 or 2016. Oh, cool. Mm-hmm. How was that? Surreal.

That was real. That was a rad. It was rad, because I went to places I would have never been. I would have never went to South Korea. I definitely went to the Pittsburgh of South Korea, though. It was not the prettiest part. It was just like a real industry. Shout out Pittsburgh.

Nothing wrong with Pennsylvania. We love Pennsylvania. You've got every kind of white person except for good looking. But I just meant in the sense that it was like a very, or maybe like a Detroit where it was all industry. It was all like factories and shit like that. So everything kind of had like a layer of dust on it or soot. So it was kind of like, you know.

You guys heard of here first, Carmen H. Those dirty Koreans. No, no, no, no. That's not true. Just that city in particular. And I liked the people. the people were cool. The city was just like, yeah.

Yeah, it just wasn't, you know. Just full of, yeah, full of. I would say, we would compare it to something here, but there's no countries that have military bases here. It's only a thing we do. And China. We in China, I think, and now Russia are the only, Russia makes a place where they put a base part of Russia.

That's their move. Us and China, I think, are the only countries that have military bases in other places. Yeah, that's crazy. It's wild to think. I've never been to China, never been to Korea or Japan. We thought about going to the Japanese World Cup and these families. I've had quite a few exchange students.

One of them who's close with a brother, Adam, Japanese. We talked about doing that. Never came to fruition. I've been to South Africa and Australia. Live there. And I've been to Europe. Where do we go, baby, for the honeymoon? Germany, Prague, Amsterdam.

I think that's... And I've been to... Canada. I think that's it for me. Yeah, I like to, I want to go other places, but then I'm always like, I'm going to go have the time of my life with my cousins in Spain, though. Yeah, why would you? Yeah, I've

considered that when we've talked about traveling abroad, like we were going to go to South Africa. Actually, I've been to a few other countries in Southern Africa. But we were going to go to South Africa right before we got married for World Cup. And then, you know, my brother murdered guy,

and it was a whole thing. And then I was I was like, I'm not going to go, and we turned the credits that we had with the airline into what was our honeymoon in Europe. But the reason I brought that up is I kind of know what you mean where you're like, I want to see more of the world. But I'm also kind of like trying to get back there to these people. Yeah. Because I made some pretty cool connections. Like my friend Luke, who was universities outside of America, like the house you live in operates kind of like a frat house, but you don't pledge it. and there's not as much

toxic cultures associated with the fact that you lived in Winchester dorm but that's a dorm I lived in and for lack of a better comparison the president of our frat Luke

now owns a big game reserve just north of South African Zimbabwe and he's like anytime and like it's catered to very rich Europeans because his wife is European

and she has some connects there so it's ridiculous Yeah. It's like a five-star resort. He's like, yeah, man, well, just fucking, you know, you can stay in the house with us, but then you can eat the restaurant and all that. It's so tempting to do that. But then if I'm going to do it, I kind of want to go somewhere else, yeah? Sure. But then you have the added thing, too. It's not just like people. It's family. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it's family that, like, they get me on a level. Like, I went, I almost didn't go.

It's funny that you brought up your brother because it's like, I almost didn't go to Spain because, like, two months before my sister had just passed away. And it was like, I had like this weird kind of like, I felt like I wasn't allowed to go have a good flight. Because I booked the flight and it was like one of those, I do the Scott's Cheap flight. So I get updates anytime. And I have Spain as a destination to get notified anytime. So it was like my round ship flight was like 500 bucks. Yeah, I think it was like 560 because I had a bag, you know, I checked a bag or whatever. I need to call Scott.

That's what I'm saying, dude. I always buy, because there's a. free service and then there's a paid service and I think it's like 50 bucks a year but every black Friday they do half off so it's 25 bucks a year and then you specify what airports you would leave out of and what destinations you want and they'll send you I mean they send you a lot of emails um for a lot of places but you know you definitely you don't have to be a rich person to travel the world and then like that's like one of the things that's been like a nice little cheat for that so I wanted to go see my cousins because I went um 20 2020 or at January of 2020 I went I went to Spain and spent uh and spent

like yeah so I was there for probably 12 days 10 days or something like that and um it was same kind of thing a buddy of mine wanted to go he didn't speak any Spanish and I was like well go and then of course he had the time of his life because my cousins are fun as fuck and then um he was going to try to go with me this time because I said I was going. She's like, I would go. But yeah, so, you know, with everything that happened with my sister, I had just been there kind of for my mom, like literally and figuratively, kind of helping her go through all this. And so I was kind of like a crippling amount of guilt where I was like, I'm not, she's

miserable. It's selfish as fuck for me to go. have a good time, you know? And so it was kind of weird. Yeah, it was weird. I didn't know how to, but then I kind of had like a talk with her and she was just like, I want you to go. Like, I don't want you to be in this, you know, I don't want you to be in this. Flora. I mean, you know, the sadness, but yes, also Florida. Well, because being in Florida was fucking killing me too. So it was like she, I think she knew that I was just repressing everything to kind of be there for her.

So I think she knew that it was going to be a break, and I needed her to tell me that it was okay for me to go. And then I went, and it was amazing. And like I said, my cousins are so cool that, or it was my cousin's husband, like, in the middle of us, like, being fucking, almost just drunk after an incredible, because that's the other thing, too. All we did was walk around, eat and drink.

That's it. That's all we did. And I was never, like, drunk. it's never like the point to get done. Yeah, we're always moving. He's snacking, yeah, having a good time. No, it's always cocktails. It's great.

It's a completely different way of enjoying yourself. Whereas like, you know, America, avalanche of abundance, right? It's all of the things. Yes, exactly. We've got to win. Yeah. What are we winning?

What are we winning? I've won being drunk so many times and every time I actually lost it. Exactly, yeah. It was like, it was a good thing. good hour where I was like, I won. And then like later, I was like, ooh, ah, this feels like losing. I won, but I feel

like I'm losing still. But just in one moment, because he didn't really even bring it up, he was just like, hey, I want you to know that I know that you're sad, and it's okay, and I don't want you to feel like you have to pretend like you're not, but I just want you to be able to have

a break from that, too. And it was kind of like acknowledging a thing that we just hadn't spoken about because, you know, when she had passed away, they hit me up and were like, this is fucking, you know, they met, because they met her once when they came to visit. They met her once when they came to visit as well. So it was, it was cool. It was just what I needed to hear, and it was brief, and it was perfect, you know,

and then we went back to having a good time. And it was, you know, it was just kind of like a thing that was just acknowledged where, yeah. So, I don't know, I guess beautiful is the right word. that you've experienced traveling abroad in so many different circumstances. You remember that weird lady? She's not weird, but the trip was weird. She was kind of weird. She was pretty weird.

And then you stayed over, which I love. I love that move. She was going to say, I was like, man, I would have way more fun if you weren't here. And then she left, and I did. I absolutely made. There's so many cool international stories where the love story or the great sex story or the wild thing, you know, like, well, I met Nessimendoa. whatever it is my favorite international story is always yeah it was like going to be 10 days and then a year later i finally

came home well i was going to no bullshit the first time i went i was going to stay i found a job in that the again in a different province right next to the where my redneck family lived right or my hillbilly family lived um because there's mountains so more more hillbilly but right above that is uh corunias which is a different region but it's close and um they needed an english speech tour guide and they gave you a per diem they put you up like it was just like I would have been fucking set and um I was like oh dude I think I'm just gonna stay yeah and um I told my mom and she cried on the phone and I was like and then I didn't do it yeah we've ran the gamut on your mom now for being super supportive and sweet and then I'll be back a little bit yeah it's been both Both of the 12.

She was just like, you know, it was also like 22, and her baby just went out of the country for the first time. Did she ask you not to, or did she just cry? She was just, she was upset by the idea of it. That's a little on you. No. Not that she was upset. That you didn't say.

She expressed that she didn't want me to do it. Oh, she did say. Yeah. Oh, that's what I was asking. If she just got upset or if she said, I don't want you to do it. Plus, I just started doing stand-up. So, like, I was on the fence. I was like, yeah, I wanted to be in America.

Yeah. But I mean, now I still think about it. I still think about it now where I'm like maybe if and when I make good money, I'm going to buy there. Yep. I think about that too. I've been. I stayed both places. In South Africa, I had a student visa. It was like six months or five and a half, whatever it was. And I just stayed. I changed my flight and just stayed. When you're there, they can write you a letter.

and they can allege that they're going to come find you or whatever. Right. But they're supposed to leave. So if you cancel your ticket, it's not like they can be like, no, you've got to get on that flight. It's like,

no, I got this other flight, you know, and I'm going to leave. So I stayed extra there. That has traveled. It was a very fun time of life. It was the only time my life where I've kind of been rich

because at that particular time, the dollar was crushing it compared to the rail so much. I put everything on a credit card. When I got home, I had $3,000 in credit card debt that I paid off working for my aunt the next summer. That's the best $3,000 you ever spent. And I cannot begin to express to people how much I got to do on three days. I got drunk all the time.

I ate steak frequently. I went on many trips, many trips, safaris. I didn't like dive with sharks, but I went with my friends when they dove, which I just didn't have any interest in that because I hate sharks. I did all that wine country, all that. incredible. Yeah, that sounds rad. It was so fun. And then Cape Town, when a trip to Cape Town,

it was supposed to be five days. I ended up staying for three weeks. This was in the middle of semester. Got bad grades for a little while. Yeah, you're enjoying your fucking life. Dude, Cape Town is behind, like, Milan and Paris. It has the highest concentration of fashion models in the world. I didn't know that when I got there.

Sure knew about the time I left, though. Isn't that where there's like a huge disparity in terms? wealth as well? Cape Town, yeah. Because it's where the fashion models are and a lot of international money that's coming to, you know what I mean? Yeah. So like the downtown Cape Town is one of the, it's like basically

a European city in terms of the wealth and the things that they have. And then you know, on the outside of town or the other side of the mountain is Shanties. Yeah. You know, and that's something you have in all of South Africa, but it's the most prevalent in Cape Town. Gotcha. Yeah. Yeah,

I've definitely never been. I was on like, I don't remember I was on a flight, I was on a flight somewhere, and there was just a lady sitting next to me who was a flight attendant, and she was just like, oh, yeah, I'm going to go sneak off to South Africa. Like, her husband didn't know, thought she was, like, going to go to Cleveland or whatever, and she was just sneaking off to go spend a week in South Africa, because she loves it there so much. And she was just like, you should absolutely go and was, like, raving about it.

And I was like, okay, but can we talk about this drama, though? I was going to say, do me a favor. and I'm talking to myself too, but I always forget. We get to meet wild people like that. But sometimes you're tired or you're hungover or you're not in right headspace. The next time something like that happens to you, ask that person if they'll be on your podcast anonymously. Because that's what we need in the world is to just hear not about what I think about free speech, but to hear what fucking Sheila is doing.

I don't know that she was cheating. It didn't sound like, it didn't sound like that at all. Because I was like... At least emotionally. Because you don't go to South Africa in secret unless you're going to fuck somebody or he won't let you go. I think she just wanted to go on a vacation by herself.

I agree with you. And then get dick down. Well, that's what I was like, are you meeting people there or something like that? And she was just like, no. She will. Oh, alright. You think she was going to get her group back?

Yeah, she was. She's going to Cape Town to get her group back. Let's take a break on that. We'll all get our group back. back after this break. We appreciate you guys listen to the well red beard podcast.

And we're back. Welcome back. Or if you skip through the ad, like a lot of people do during podcasts, welcome back immediately. Yeah. So two things I want to talk. I want to talk a little bit about Australia, maybe some more about South Africa.

But I also want to talk to you a little bit more about your sister. Okay. Because I know that's been kind of, I would imagine, surreal for you. Not just the fact that your sister, died young. But on top of that, it happened in your life around the same time you got

a break, a big break. Yeah, that shit was weird. Where it's like, really? Really? Really. You couldn't have scheduled this a little better, sis? You bit. You got a cock block this for me, really? Are we always competing? Is that necessary? Cockblock, which is an apparatus she owned. Yeah. Because my sister,

It was very big in the BDSM community and very good at it. Like, we would teach classes and shit like that. She would do like all this Victorian specific. She literally had a cock block. Yeah, literally. Do you know much about Victorian-specific BDSM? No, no. I don't either.

That sounds interesting. Yeah, well, it would just be like she would have like a T service and somebody would be playing the role of the butler who would be subservient and have to wait on her and then like, you know, if they didn't dress the table accordingly or if they were, you know, she would basically teach, she would teach people how to do it properly.

I said last week we weren't supposed to talk about it. That is what Corey and Dreier doing over there. No, that's pretty cool. Victorian BDSN. Yeah. It's wild when you discover that a thing gets way more niche than you ever was a man. I mean, dude, she was like into so many specific,

different, but I think that was the thing that she really liked, because she already liked Victorian stuff. You know, she always, like, made her own dresses and stuff like that. When me and my mom visited, she made us dress up in, like, Victorian era gowns, and we went to a high tea and stuff like that. But it was, but yeah, dude, she was, like, she was teaching classes. She used to, like, you know, she was published a bunch and, like, teaching people how to do things properly, making sure everybody's safe, you know, being able to communicate things that you want. while people feel sick because, you know, it's, especially how the wide range of things as far as BDSM goes, it goes from like, you know, you saying mean things to me while we're fucking to like, you know,

getting hooks put in your back and being lifted up in front of a bunch of people. Like there's like, there's a wide range. And like, you're just talking about like a safety and like she was always just wanted to make sure everybody had a good time, which I love that because that's me too, just in a different context, you know? Yeah. And so it was kind of funny, though, that like at her service up there, because we did two, we did one up there and one in Florida. Up there in Seattle.

Yeah. Or technically Tacoma. But, you know, this is all of, because she's big in the community. So, like, I really these people that were at the service are all, they're all fat, fat life people. Yeah. Yeah. For freaks came out of money. I have plenty of black clothes.

I would not call them freaks by any means. but because they all just look normal. I don't say that because I'm a freak. Oh, okay, cool. Sounds good. I didn't know that was your word. My bad. Um,

a lot of people don't. But it was just weird to see, you know, like this big burly dude like hugging my mom crying while like, oh my God, my sister showed me a picture of you in a ball gag. That's so funny. That's like, it's just the juxtaposition of those two things is just so fucking funny to me. And it's like sadness, but like you're processing the sadness. And then also, you know, it's funny. Like, sex is funny. Any type.

And then if you're, like, on the edges or the fringes of what is considered normal sex, it's hilarious. Yeah. Well, that's the other thing, too, is it'd be, like, her friends talking about stories and stuff, like, you know, because everyone wants to share stories. Would you do it if you? And then, yeah, and then the stories are always very risque, and it's very he-he-he-he. And they're trying to, like, telling it in front of your mom or whatever. Yeah.

You remember that time? She flogged, Janus. Yeah. Like, cut to your mom. I'm like, what? Well, the funny thing is, for the longest time, my sister tried to keep it for my mom. And then, and I knew about it because she would, like, you know, come to the Christmas parties and stuff like that. And then be taking pictures and then she'd start showing you what I was saying, it's starting me shit.

And I'm like, Michelle, I have to have to have dinner with that guy. Don't show me what he looks like tied up like that. That's not my slave. That's yours, you know? But for her, it was like, oh, it's, I mean, it's my, I get to wheel my pal. or how I want. Whatever you guys get in our context. Yeah.

You know, he had preconcended his picture being taken and now she does whatever the fuck she wants to. Yeah. I mean, she doesn't charge him. So I get it. But that's the other thing too is like learning, because of her being into it,

it's like learning that it's way outside of just a sexual context, like context. It's like a full-fledged lifestyle. And like, I don't, I guess I wouldn't know. I probably wouldn't have understood it as much as I did because I just always associated it with sex. I wouldn't have understood it as, well as I do now if it weren't for her for sure.

It's still funny though. Yeah. There would be times, I mean, she would just have like, she would have, you know, because again, when it's just power dynamics, she would have somebody come over that would basically pay her to like, and she would just make them clean her house type of situation, you know, like this grown man would come over. She would make him put on a French, like a French maid outfit and would clean her house. then she would go and like white glove it and like check it and stuff like that and like

you know they would get in trouble if they didn't do a good job type of situation and that was just like yeah man you got somebody cleaning your house fuck yeah yeah that's a damn fucking tom sawyer yeah yeah dude she's fucking hell yeah yeah yeah yeah it yeah right um it's like a beautiful memory too yeah yeah yeah and it is funny like the thing about comedy it's not the only way to do it but a very main state of comedy

is to introduce a line and then either cross it or come close to it I mean that's the basis of almost every dirty job sure and so there's something naturally and inherently funny

about sex and then there's definitely something naturally inherently funny about anyone being different I mean that's where bullying comes from sure which is not cool

but like it is what like a very base sense of humor is making fun of someone so of course it's a I feel like that community does a good job laughing at it. Yeah, it doesn't take, I think that community, that was the thing, like, meeting through, because I always thought they, before I knew those type of people, like people that were in that community, thought they would take themselves very seriously and stuff like that, but it's

really not. Everybody is super fun and chill and it was, it's cool and, you know, you, like, and now whenever I start, I've started talking about my sister on stage and stuff and about this, then I'll have people in the community come up to me after the shows and stuff like that and then be like, yeah. And I'm like, oh, okay, cool. You know. So, yeah, I, yeah, it was, it was cool for her to introduce me to that, well, we not really be in it. I mean, I do enjoy power dynamics, but definitely not to the point where I would be living my life that way.

Because I remember, I also thought it was bizarre how my sister came out to my mom about it. Okay. Because it was at a Sunny's barbecue restaurant, which I thought was an odd choice. Like, you know, probably wait till we have the ochre before you bust out the ballgagic picks, you know. But it was me. My now past grandmother who was like dementia and so my sister was like, well, she's not going to remember this. And then brought back some good memories for. Maybe. Yeah, I don't know what that bitch was into.

Except a bitch and she's like, Earl? I know them. She's not familiar with his grandpa, you know. But she, yeah, she like kind of, and me and my mom had already kind of figured it out by then because. Figured out she was a dominator. Is that what she was? My sister was kind of a, my sister was a switch too. Okay. But she was like.

Well, I'm in professionally, like in terms of money. Didn't this something she did for money? money or my mistake. But she would teach classes and stuff like that. I mean, yes, that, um, it's, there's so much, like, some of its money and some of it has, doesn't have anything to do with it. It's just like, it's almost, almost like a service, like a barter service where, like, you know, I'll dominate you if you, like, you know, make my slave do a bunch of things

for you because that's like, it's going to, you know, that person, whatever. So there's all kinds of, like, uh, you say, however you want it. Yeah, there's no real rules. except for the rules that you put in place. Yeah, but I thought she had like maintained a business with ads and stuff. I think I'm just interested in some. Yeah, I think, I mean, they have a club and stuff like that

that she worked out of sometimes. What's that cool? What was the answer to that? I don't know. I didn't ask for it. But, yeah, it was, but yeah, it was cool to see that she was like, like kind of thriving in this, like, you know,

even though it was kind of unorthodox to like, like maybe my family or whatever, I thought it was cool because I mean, what I was doing, what I am doing is unorthodox to my family as well. And like hers just happens to have like way more of a sexual connotation than mine does. Right. Dick Jokes versus Dick Polks. Yeah, there you go. Thank you. Coined it. Put it on a tee. Don't want to. Well, that's, I don't know, I think it's a testament to you and your family that you guys

have been able to get through it and still laugh about it and all that. I mean, that's like a cheesy thing to say, but it's totally true. No, it was weird as I didn't. I wasn't able to at first. Right. I wasn't able to, especially because I only had my family around me. And out of respect for everyone else's feelings, like, I didn't get to cope with it the way that I do, which is make fun of it. Right.

You didn't get to be a comedian. Right. So then, like, I had like, because also like through my sister passing away, the HBO thing came out. And then I had an audition for JFL, an audition for Netflix. It was all like right at the same time. And it was really just like, Jesus. Christ, Michelle. What the fuck, you know, as far as timing goes. And, you know, fucking asshole. And so, but the second I got off the plane, when I got to Los Angeles, the first comedian that I saw,

it was just fucking nothing but verbal vomit, me making fun of the whole situation, making all these jokes that I'm even, even now I'm more comfortable making, or being able to talk about it, because it was just the whole time I'd just been sitting in nothing but sadness, you know? So I think that was the other reason why ultimately I was like It's okay for me to go to Spain Was because it was like I haven't had I haven't had any other emotion other than despair For despair or anxiety in the sense that I'm supposed to act like I'm not under the amount of despair that I'm in

You know Just because you know we're comedians nobody gives a shit what's happening to us we think only care if you do the job You know there's a I remember I had to do a I had to go on stage, I think an hour after I found out my friend shot himself in the head and it was like the first time I ever got booed because I was not prepared for that. I was too young of a comedian.

You tried talking about it? No, not at all. I was too scared. Yeah. You wouldn't have got booed. Yeah, probably not. But it was also like an urban room I was doing too. So it was also like, yeah. But I just was not performing well because I wasn't in it. I was like, you know,

it's like what the fuck's going to happen? Like, I don't know. Yeah, I was just not there. Yeah. I also didn't have any friends nearby or anything so I couldn't make any jokes, you know, in order to deal with it. Oh, buddy, I'm okay. Thank you, though. I don't know. In that spot, you know. Yeah.

Well, yeah, but I think the whole thing is like when you're in it, it's got awful. And then, you know, you just hope that it gets at least somewhat better, right? And then it does with time. And it doesn't make it like any less painful. I think it just makes the pain more manageable. You know? Sure. Sure. Plus, like, my priority was my mom.

Like, that's the worst, I think. I don't think there's anything worse than losing a kid. As far as, like, and the scale of pain goes. I've always heard that, for sure. Yeah. I believe it. So. How she doing?

I think she, you know, she's managing. So a lot of people don't get that luxury, you know. A friend of mine's mom had her son passed away, and she got this, It's called Broken Heart Syndrome, which is like your body physically reacting. So they thought she was having a heart attack. But it's just your heart literally is like, it's quitting because it's under so much pain. Which is crazy. And then her blood pressure had to be monitored for like three months because they didn't know.

They were like worried about her having an actual heart attack. But it's called broken heart syndrome is what it's called. It's so crazy because sometimes your body literally can't take it. They can't take the heat. luckily she hasn't had anything like that physically wrong with her or anything you know so I'm super grateful for that you know and um I'm starting to see her going out and like being with other people which is good because a lot of times it's you know when you're sad as fuck you just want to isolate because you don't want to burden anybody else she's one of those people doesn't want to

bother anybody with it and so um so it's I think she's doing I think she's doing as best as she possibly can considering my dad my dad's great crazy. So he's different. It's hard to... Yeah, it's hard to... He wasn't getting off the couch before, so he's definitely not getting off the couch now, so... But I think, I feel like he's been preparing more

for this than she was, because that's her, his stepdaughter, it's not his... And I'm not saying that he doesn't love her the same or anything like that. It's not... I definitely don't mean it like that, but I think he was just like... He's also... He thinks everybody's going to die, whatever. He's also way more pessimistic and stuff like that. So I think he was like way and more prepared than my mom was for this just because he's already like

He'd I think for him for months he had been saying I think she's gonna pass away you know As you've been sick Sorry. No, it's fine. Okay I'm putting them out everything's gonna be okay guys I mean I'm sure that people felt your pain but I mean you bumped anybody out was because Again, I'm part of me for being cheesy, but you just I don't know yet a strong spirit about it. You know what I mean? And I mean that.

Because, yeah, I know people listening right now and drop through a bunch of shit, you know? You can't laugh about it. Eventually, it takes a lot of time, you know? You can't move on, but like, what, compartmentalize it, put it in its place, what's the right phrase? I guess, or it's, I think it's more,

for me, I think it's more of an, it helps accepting. Like, that's a lot of times why I get, I get a, not up in arms, but I get miffed when people are like you can't joke about things because that specifically

is how I cope with them. You gotta joke about things. Yeah, it's that Stanhope where he's like making fun of something even making something dark, light, et cetera, et cetera. Like, that's the part of making fun that I think is really

brilliant. A lot of people seem to forget the power that that has is me being able to joke about it. And it can be something about myself, It could be something like death or, you know, a myriad of things. But being able to get to the point where you can laugh about something. Like, for instance, like, you know, I have a rough childhood with my dad. A lot of your listeners already know about it.

We've talked about it. Anybody that's listened to the Indy-the-A-Biscuit episode, we've talked about it extensively on there. Fis-Fotter. Yeah. It did fiss-fut him. But it was, for the longest time, I wanted to joke about it, but I was not emotionally prepared to do that.

So then I would just bomb on stage talking about it. And then once you get to a point where you can accept it, it's not just a thing that's helping you cope. It's also like it's you understanding and accepting and then being able to make it funny. And like, yeah. It's the same. I think it's just like, I think it just takes.

So I hate when that kind of criticism comes because it's like I don't think you understand how helpful, how helpful humor is, especially about things that are dark. you know, touching. Right. Well, I mean, first of all,

yes, I agree. I'm saying, well, I mean, it's agree. Why are you like, I don't know.

It got real quiet storm in here. You got very like, hey, hey, you know what I think it is? The tequila was that what it is?

The agave wore off, and the alcohol is still present. Okay, fair enough. You know what it could also be? You're talking about your mother mourning

the loss of the daughter? It could have had an effect on me physically, Carmen. Fair enough. Sorry, I'm just trying to. Fair enough. I'm just saying pain sucks and it's going to be okay, is all I'm saying. Pain sucks isn't going to be okay. Well, no, I was just saying I think that's a good stopping point.

You know, as good as any. We're not going to go back to international travel. No, no, no. Looking up with girls on beaches and stuff like that, you know. But we could. I've got stories, guys. I'm going to say that it didn't happen. Well, anyway, I love you.

I love you. Thanks to everybody for listening to the Well Red Beard Beer. Thank you guys. Show. And we'll be back next week. And I think you'll be here again. Oh, yeah. Okay, cool.

Sounds good. Yeah, I'm in. Yeah. And it'll be way more live-hearted. Yes, we promise. Promise. We promise. We promise.

Thank you all for listening to the Well-red Beard. Sorry you missed Corey and Trey, but they ain't here. So tune in next week if you like listening to me. Thank you, God bless you, and fuck the queen. Fuck the queen.