wellRED podcast - #281 - 10 Greatest Rednecks of All Time, Florida Man, and More!
Episode Date: July 20, 2022This week the boys are tinkering with a new format to the show.... they actually planned stuff! Up top they debuted a new segment called "Florida Man" where they look into the hilarious criminal activ...ity of a (you guessed it) a Florida Man! (For an entire show like this, we highly recommend Dumb People Town... one of the other shows on Starburns Audio!)To bring the show home, the boys revisted their list of 10 Greatest Rednecks of all time from their book The Liberal Redneck Manifesto, and made some addendums and discussed where they may have gone wrong!They also read a fan letter and it made em think "hey, we ourt do that more!" so feel free to drop them a line at WellREDPod@gmail.com and hopefully they can read it on air!TraeCrowder.com for ticketsDrewMorganComedy.com for ticketsCoreyWritesForYou.com to sign up for Corey's Publication!Also have you checked out Corey and Trae's new podcast Puttin On Airs? You ourt! Wherever you get your podcasts, or at WatchPOA.com
Transcript
Discussion (0)
And we thank them for sponsoring the show.
Well, no, I'll just go ahead.
I mean, look, I'm money dumb.
Y'all know that.
I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life.
And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion.
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A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis.
I'm not going to lie.
I can be one of those people.
Like, let me ask you right now.
Skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people.
People across the ske universe, I should say.
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Do you even know?
Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery?
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They're the they're the they're the red next day like cornbread but sex they care way too much but don't give a fun.
They're the next that makes some people upset but they're.
You got three big old dicks that you can suck.
Sorry, I should have warned you.
That's on me.
That's an amateur hour.
Keep forgetting you've got all these new toys at your disposal here.
Really, I should have expected such as that.
I assume there'll be more instances throughout the show, little bells and whistles.
Yep, I got them all.
I'm more excited about the whistles myself.
I figured.
Yeah, I got all sorts of bells and whistles.
I got all sorts of bells and whistles, because we're doing.
a couple things different today.
Later on in the show, we're going to be doing...
We wrote a book called The Liberal Redneck Manifesto,
which if I believe I'm correct,
did that shit come out six years ago?
Not quite. This fall,
it'll be six years.
Six years.
Yeah, so crazy.
It's kind of the thing that launched...
Well, I mean, Trey's videos are the thing
that launched us, I guess,
but it was the first big project we ever worked on together.
So five year...
Six year anniversary coming up,
whatever the fuck I just said.
And in that book, we, one of the chapters contained a list called,
and it was the top 10 rednecks of all time.
And I haven't thought about that shit in forever.
And I've been entertaining the thought of like,
I want to go back and read the book and see how much of the stuff I still agree with,
how much of the stuff I disagree with.
I mainly think that probably what's going to happen is like,
I'll still agree with myself.
I'll just cringe at my jokes because I've gotten so much better now.
Like, I know that y'all are probably the same.
Like, I can watch a stand-up set from like,
five months ago and be like, ugh, what were you, what were you thinking?
So I wanted to go back.
I mean, I do that.
I could watch stand upset from last night and I'll do that.
Yeah, right, right.
I literally just did that.
I do that with myself regardless.
It doesn't matter.
But it does oftentimes, yeah, also apply to reading my old self, reading past me.
Generally does not hit for present me.
We also were way too in love with the word hits.
Yeah, so much.
And nobody, like if we did that in.
Like if we did that now, it'd be like, at least our fans would get it.
But we didn't even have fans then.
You know what I mean?
We're like, I hope everybody that's listening.
We didn't even have a podcast then.
Nobody who the fuck we were except for Trey.
But regardless, I wanted to go back today if it's cool with y'all.
And I want to revisit the top 10 rednecks of all time.
I want to see if we agree with ourselves on some of them.
I want to see if maybe we would move some of them up or down.
I want to see if maybe we would replace some with some other people.
So I've got the list.
and all that good stuff that we'll get to at the end of the show.
Before we get to that, thank you all so much for subscribing to this podcast,
downloading it being our well-read podcast faithfuls for so many,
so many years.
We are coming up on five years since we've done this shit too,
or did we start that the same year as a book?
I'm pretty sure if it's the same year.
I think all that happened in 2016.
So we're getting close to 200, we're getting close to 280 episodes.
I know that we've had some people leave,
but I assume that some of you have been with us from the jump,
and we really appreciate that.
We've also got other things going on in the ske universe.
Me and Trey have a new podcast called Putting On Airs,
where two hillbillies talk about fancy stuff.
Trey's also got weekly skews.
Drew, tell them about your mess you got going on.
I know you're on tour.
Yeah, I wanted to plug.
I got Denver, the 28th at Denver Comedy Underground.
I got Boulder the 31st.
I'm talking about up July.
That's not with DJ.
Me and DJ got some dates in August and September.
That's on my website, Drew Morgan Comedy.com.
Also, Corey, you wanted to read a story on here.
Oh, DJ and I have a podcast in the Abyss.
You guys know.
You wanted to read a story on here, and you told me to remind you.
That's great.
What was it about?
It's in the text.
It's in the text thread.
I'll just re-send it to you right now.
Okay.
It's about cheddars.
Okay.
And it's a great story.
I just sent it to you.
Before we do that, I'm also on tour right now, Corey, thank you very much.
You guys could go to Trey Crowder.
I was going to let you do it.
Okay.
Well, it seemed like you sort of did mine for me, then went to Drew, and then we were just doing it.
No, I just did weekly skews because it fit the, I had said the podcast, and I figured I'd do that.
And then I'd let you plug your shit that doesn't have shit to do with me.
You know what I mean?
I had no, Corey.
Why'd you do half of his for him?
And you didn't do none of mine for me.
You don't know the name of mine.
Damn, dude.
I just figured that you could do it better.
You know what I mean?
Like, it's not like...
You don't plug his dates.
You don't plug mine for me.
God, dude.
So, Treycrowder.com.
Treycrowder.com for tickets.
Thanks, everybody's come out so far.
It's been going well.
Having fun.
Doing hour-long sets.
Working on new material.
And we're enjoying ourselves.
So hopefully you'll come and see us.
If you ain't into that or I'm not coming where you're coming,
you can also go to patreon.
dot com slash tray crowder if you want support me
and otherwise get a whole bunch of bonus
extended
ske universe content anyway
go ahead
can i say two things these are quick
first of all tray are you big foot
you're blurry as hell right now
and you kind of walk like him so
he won't be in the uh is that okay
yeah it's okay because he's he's
luckily of this new gimmick that we got going
he will look great in the end
also he doesn't look blurry to me on my screen
you look very blurry, Drew,
and I like tremendously
You're going to look
You're going to look however you look on your screen.
No, I just got a new 4K camera.
That's Lake, baby.
I was just at the lake and I got a 4K camera.
Speak A.
I want to plug.
Go ahead.
I want to plug this.
The last two shows that I've had,
I had Brian Regan and then
Mike Cooley from the drive-by truckers.
There's going to be another B or C-List
celebrity at my next Denver show.
I'm not going to say who it is.
Or whether it's a B or a C list.
Yeah.
Can you tell you about?
That's great.
Before I read this story, I would like to say, if anybody has like, after I read this
story, if you feel like sending us comments and stuff like that, I'm going to set up
an email for you to do that, but you can also just DM us because this is fucking tremendous.
But before that, I have one more thing that I need to plug.
and I've got to make sure to do it because I'll only have a couple opportunities to plug it.
It's literally a once in a lifetime thing.
You boy, the champ, the buttercream dream.
Not this Friday, but next Friday.
The tickets are sold out to the Rick Flair roast.
And I don't know if it's a coincidence that they sold out the day they announced me.
I have no fucking idea.
I got a lot of people in Nashville.
I don't know.
But if you're not able to attend the roast of Rick Flair in person
and watch me verbally bitch slap,
the 16 time world champ.
You can order it on fight.com.
Go to starcast.com for all that info.
That's s T-A-R-R-C-A-S-T dot com.
And I'm Rusting Rick Flair and it's super fucking cool,
but I don't want to tip my own horn too much.
So let's get into this.
What's the exact date?
What's the exact date?
July 29th.
Okay.
Because last week I asked you if it last week I said,
is it this Friday or next?
And you said next Friday last week.
So I thought it was this Friday.
I did too.
July 29th.
July 29th, I will be roasting Rick Flair.
Then the 30th, I got a suite at SummerSlam.
And then the 31st, I'm watching Rick Flair's last match.
It is going to be the most intense weekend of wrestling a human being can have.
And Starcast is going on all through that, like during the day.
So like, if you're a wrestling fan, come check it out.
If you can't be it to Nashville, you can still watch me roast Rick Flair.
And again, I cannot tell you all how big of a month.
moment. This is for me. This is the coolest shit that's ever happened. I'm super pumped.
Okay. So now that that's out of the way, I want to, I want to read this story. This is from our
buddy Brandon Cranford, and this is regarding last week when we were talking about Cheddar's.
He says, man, I try not to DM you all the time, but after hearing your Cheddar's rant, I got to
tell you about the time it tried to kill me. Went to gun barrel location Sunday after church with my
wife's family the worst time and the worst location during that lunch her mom in gun barrel no that's it's a
road uh gun barrel road and it's actually the same cheddar as i went to this gun barrel road up by hamilton place
um went after church from my wife's family the worst time and location during that lunch her mom and
uncle got into an almost screaming match because she was talking shit about his son and he was talking
shit about her brother,
when there.
Whole family was upset and crying
except for me,
because their chips and queso
were so dry and disgusting,
I started choking.
I tried to make it to the bathroom,
couldn't make it,
turned towards the kitchen
and didn't make that either.
Luckily, I threw up
in an empty booth
on the other side of the wall.
A nice man gave me the hemelick.
A nice man gave me the hamlet.
Staff gave me a towel and water.
I walked back to the table.
Family is still crying
and had no idea I was dying,
on the other side of the wall until
strangers stop by the table to check on me.
So anyways, fuck Cheddar's.
That's Brandon Cranford, and that is a
fucking tremendous story.
All right, my first thought is, the family
is sitting there, people are coming by to check on him.
They don't know why at first.
Do you think for a second, they were like,
oh, we're fighting so bad that they think he's like
an abused person or so?
Yeah, he's the only one at the table that's not screaming.
So they're like, blink twice, if you need us
to get you the fuck out of this Cheddar.
Yeah, I don't know.
I'm assuming he's talking about that spinach dip they have.
And, you know, this is the episode that Drew wasn't on, right?
Wasn't it?
Wasn't it just me and you talking about Cheddar?
So, no, no, Drew was.
No, I think I was on the Cheddar Slander episode.
We had a heated debate about a change in general.
It'd be really funny to me if you weren't on that episode,
but all of this was so ingrained in you
that you were just like, no, I was definitely there.
100%.
We were talking shit about cheddar.
I was there.
You guys might talk about Cheddar's extensively a different time,
but we were talking about the peanut allergy,
getting rid of the peanuts on the floor.
Yep.
At Logans.
Logans, yeah.
Okay.
Okay, he was here.
Something's not checking for you, Craig.
It's just not.
It's just not.
No, no, no, but wasn't it?
I'm wasting time on this.
I just really thought the check.
Wasn't that last week or the week before?
Like, very, very recently.
Very recently.
Yeah, it was last week, I think.
Yeah, he was here.
I think I was the week before you were.
And then the two weeks before that I was out.
All right.
Okay.
Trey Bleak, if you're okay.
Never mind.
It doesn't matter.
I was just thinking I had to catch you up on the sort of two sides of the debate
because you weren't here, but I guess I don't.
So you can just cut this all out.
Now, I feel like when we did the chain restaurant conversation,
you did have to catch me up.
That might have been on years, if not,
being a fat kid, but it also might have been that y'all had,
y'all might have, this might have been spread over a couple episodes.
Right.
There was the, the guest complaining at O'Charlie's about the potato soup because of the,
they were long and slender.
Right.
Yeah.
And I said, agreed.
In the middle they get crunchy.
So, uh, you still not convinced that Drew was here?
No, I'm not.
I'm genuinely not.
I still, I still in my head, think that he was not here for that.
You know that motherfucker didn't go back and listen to the episode.
No, I know, yeah.
That's why he's blowing my mind.
I'm thinking I'm crazy.
He knows all this stuff because in my head, I'm like,
it's just so true.
He wasn't here for now of that.
How does he know all this?
Yeah, he was here.
I remember it now.
Well, I don't know if you remember,
but my first week back, I told y'all,
or y'all's first week back,
I told y'all that my favorite comment on YouTube
was people saying they were going to miss me when y'all got back.
So it's all playing.
all right oh god
god damn uh that's wonderful
hey guys i just always kind of like that spinach tip
that's all i was gonna say
i mean i definitely knew where it was going
yeah the whole thing with
with cheddars last week was i was shocked
to hear cori say all that because the cheddars came to cookville
tennessee and absolutely fucking dominated the casual
redneck chain restaurant game and that's why i never
viewed cheddars as being a shitty place and it's
but apparently i mean like i do now
but when I was 22 and went to chain restaurants,
then I was like, you know, in my head,
I was like, oh, this is the new game in town right here.
Not like, what is this fucking pretender-ass bullshit?
It's not how I looked at it.
Now I look at all of them as trashed it.
They don't have to do with because I'm...
I still think Longhorns is good.
I fuck with chilies all day,
era day, son.
Speaking of...
Speaking of...
Hold on.
I just want to say, Trey Crowder officially,
you're saying that Brandon Cranford is a bitch.
Like you're saying that he got choked on this delicious.
No, I'm saying I can't help but wonder if it may just,
I also just back when I ate Subway and shit too.
So like, and I haven't had Cheddar since then.
So they're probably right because they're talking about recent experiences.
But in my head, I was like, well, the gum barrel cheddars,
that's just a shit-ass cheddars.
I used to live in West Knoxville beside, believe it or not,
a terrible combination KFC and Taco Bell.
You probably didn't think that.
You didn't think that was possible, did you?
No, I didn't.
awful.
Like both things were completely awful?
Both things were completely terrible.
Biscuits and cash, it was always rock hard, the chicken would be cold,
they fuck your order up, they get everything wrong, it was awful.
So in my head, I was like, yeah, I think this gum barrel shit just ain't it.
Because that spinach dip in particular, that used to go hard for me.
I can't imagine hating it so much you choked the death on.
Most places spinach artichoke dip thing, yeah, yeah.
Most places spinach artichoke dip is usually like a, okay, this will probably hit.
You know what I mean?
So to hear that it was bad is like you're really doing something bad.
Trey, do you think you've changed or that these chains have lowered in quality?
I could see it either.
I could see that you've, you know, like just grown up.
But I could also see like, I mean, dude, the country's going to shit.
For sure.
Not to papawed out, but the country's going to shit.
No, it is going to shit.
But I think this is like a reverse.
Now this is not a reverse papaw.
This is just true papawism is like the back in our day it was,
better but like i don't know i think it's both because i've got buddies who haven't their like our lives
changed we had a moment where we were one way and then in a blink of a eye we were different and we got
a little bit too big for our britches we call it pre-hit and post hit and post-hit i can't stand
none of this shit because i am better than it now but i have buddies who you're not going to believe this
ain't changed a bit at all and they say that like oh charlie's and stuff don't hit anymore and like
it hit for them like five 10 years ago they're
taste if not change is what I'm saying. Like, it is the quality of the food, but I think it's both.
Yeah, it's probably like, what's that company that owns all the food that they all get their food from?
Yeah, it's McCormick. Cisco. Yeah, Cisco is definitely one of them. I don't know which chains do and which chains don't, but it's definitely Cisco.
But I feel like a lot of my friends who never went through a pre-hit post-hit transition, but still just grew up and matured as adults have a similar, like they don't, they prefer not to fuck with those types of
places anymore too. And, you know, we used to fuck with them together all the time.
But I don't, but I don't take that, I don't take, I'm sure the quality is going down here.
I'm sure they give you less and charge you more. I'm sure all that's happening.
But I think that that is also just a natural part of like, getting out, we're fucking 20.
You don't know shit about fuck, dude, including food. Like, unless you were raised,
fanned, raised eating caviar and shit, had a fucking, you know, a Viscountess for a amount.
all that taught you all that stuff or whatever,
then you don't know fucking shit.
Eat whatever college food trash you can get your hands on.
But then you get older and you're like, man,
none of that stuff ever hit.
That's what I think happened.
That's what happened to me,
I feel like.
I got a great new chain restaurant story that our buddy Conrad Thompson told me
the other day.
He called me.
We were talking about the Rick Flair stuff and he was telling me that he had just
been to Longhorns and he was sitting up at the bar talking to the bartender.
This lady, he's known for like 17 years.
They're chumming it up.
and this fucking just FDDH.
Do people here know what FDH is?
Have we?
We surely have it some point,
but I feel like it's been a while.
It's, yeah, it's fat, dumb and don't hit.
Yeah.
FDH.
Some FDH are stricken with FDH every year.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a side effect of being an American actually.
You really have been stricken with fat, dumb and don't hit.
And it can be fatal, too.
Yeah, for sure.
And contagious.
And there is a higher percentage.
And there's a higher percentage of them at chain restaurants for sure.
Absolutely.
So Conrad.
That's like a correlation causation thing right there.
It's like, you know, chicken and egg situation.
They ate both too.
They want to chicken and egg.
And for the record, and Conrad would tell you this too.
Conrad is FSDD.
He's fat smart and does hit.
Does it.
Yeah, right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, but so he's sitting there, bail it up to the bar,
and then some FDH motherfucker comes in.
He's, and Conradsonner, they're talking to his bar friend,
this lady.
And the guy that goes, hey, y'all got any, uh, fireball?
And she's just like, no, no, we don't have any fireball.
And he goes, well, what, what the fuck?
You'll have anything and like, what kind of like flavored stuff do y'all have?
And she's like, we got crown apple if you want crown apple.
And he goes, hell yeah, I'll take some crown apple.
And then so she goes to pour it.
And then she goes, do you want it chilled?
And the FDDH guy goes, what?
No, I ain't no girl after ordering.
After all that.
Conrad says that this motherfucker took the shot,
immediately puked all over the bar.
And then his buddy's trying to drag him out.
And he's sitting there cussing up a storm.
And finally the manager had to come and do the sort of cliche line.
But Conrad said he said word for work.
He goes, sir, this is a longhorn steakhouse.
You actually
You're giving me fucking
Vietnam flashbacks
over here
with that shit
I guarantee it
I guarantee it
Trey have you watched
the bear
No
I yeah I didn't know
that existed
I'm jealous
that somebody
What's it about again?
It's in the
It's back of the house
though right
It's back of the house
But dude
you want to talk about
flashbacks
When they're talking about
Food Rep
And then it's like a guy
As soon as I heard about that
I was like
I never like
Actually rode anything
That's not true
I did write
something for like a screen play competition pre-hit years ago.
But I always thought that, I know that waiting exists and waiting hits super hard,
but like basically just a full TV series, but of that would fucking smash, you know.
This is certainly more drama than waiting, less comedy, but it is funny.
And I mean, I'm a mark for Jeremy Allen Wade anyway.
Also, it's set in Chicago and he's sort of a dirtball.
So I just think it's lip from shameless.
Like it's the same actor.
He looks the same.
He's in the same city.
And it's kind of similar.
So I'm just like, this is what lips doing now.
Hell yeah.
Anyway, you talk about Vietnam flashbacks.
I mean, I started having stress dreams again about Dr. Pepper.
Yeah.
Well, I heard that.
We'll see what else we can get into right after this.
All right.
Wasn't that something?
Yeah.
Can I throw a new segment on you guys?
Mm-hmm. Okay. I got a new segment, and I even wrote a theme song for it, and it goes a little something like this.
Florida man, Florida man, hides his pills in his dip can, does some math, fucks a butt, drives his truck off into a rut.
Look out. Here comes the Florida man.
Huh?
Yeah, that put me in the mind of the guy DJ loves.
You're not talking about Unknown Henson.
Unknown Hanson?
He says Warmering's a lot.
Okay, I like that.
He got canceled.
Worley.
He was the online.
He's definitely canceled.
Yeah.
And that started with, you know, because unknown Hinson hit hard for DJ and because
also Squidbillies, he also hit for me and I knew some of his songs and they were funny.
But the first thing that started him down the road of getting canceled was he went after
Diley Parton.
So I had to sort of wash my hands of him immediately when that happens.
Sorry, sorry to DJ, but like that's just, you just don't do that.
that if no i agree yeah he's had a he's made his bed i agree with that 100% and now i can
it's a dog bed in the corner of a fucking yeah yeah yeah don't just bear it's george yeah yeah
don't you bring dog beds down to his level i uh i i though i can i can separate the art from the
artist and uh i still fuck with unknown henson like i'm not it's like i'm not going to give these
people any more dollars i guess or whatever but like i can separate the art from the artist
and, I mean, I got to tell you, the man who wrote such seminal hits as,
Your Man is Gay.
It is gay.
As a goose, darling, gay.
And that's the truth.
Darling.
All right.
Well, let's get it.
That guy was racist?
Wow.
I know.
Yeah.
Oh, God damn.
All right.
This is the most recent.
This is the most recent.
What did you think these people thought?
Bill Byrne.
This is the most recent Florida.
Can you all see that on the screen?
Yeah.
This is the most recent Florida man that I found.
Florida man.
Somebody sent me this on Patreon.
I saw this.
After attempting to outrun police on lawnmower, and I got to tell you, it gets better.
You could even say that they bury the lead, and I'll get to that.
A Florida man reportedly took cut and run to a whole new level by cutting the grass in his getaway vehicle,
police say, by fleeing from the officers on a lawnmower.
according to the Okalusa, by the way, very underrated redneck town name.
Florida, I feel like has, we don't always consider Florida redneck.
Of course, this part of Florida is, but they do have some of like the best redneck counties and stuff.
And I think Okalusa is definitely up there.
He was arrested after a bizarre police chase.
And by the way, this was seven months after he had jumped into a swamp to escape deputies
who were looking to serve warrants on him.
Pulled that one off, right?
He made that escape.
He pulled that one off.
And he successfully escaped by diving into a swamp,
which is like, that's the ultimate Florida man move right there.
I don't know if y'all read.
I thought that Florida Man was a cliche, not a superhero.
I know.
That's what I'm saying.
These cops standing at the edge of the swamp just shaking her fist in the sky,
like Florida Man.
He disappears into the, foiled yet again.
By Florida Man.
I don't know if y'all, if y'all read down further
than this isn't going to work, but I hope you didn't.
I would like y'all both to wager a guess at what it is that he's on the run from.
What crime did this person commit?
Child support.
Mm-mm.
That's good.
No, those are both good answers.
I'll give you two more pieces.
Shit.
So we've got...
Reading legal reptiles, to quote...
Read and illegal reptiles.
Mm-mm.
Meth distribution.
Nope.
You're going to kick yourself.
Is it bills?
No.
You think.
he beat his woman
no no regrettably
no I know
they wouldn't have arrested him for that
yeah
no he was wanted by police
in connection with the alleged theft
of a $40,000
boat again this man is a
goddamn hero I say
uh...
he's still a boat
I can't help but read over this
a little bit while it's up over there
I don't know if you're gonna mention
but I feel like it deserves to be pointed out
that he's got a pretty good
red ass name too
Oh, I didn't even see it.
Dusty Mobley.
Oh, yeah, that's pretty good stuff.
Dusty Mobley.
Dusty is a great redneck guy.
That's the two ways my dad describes my brother's house.
Dude.
Yeah.
He definitely, no, Drew, I'm going to give you partial credit because according to deputies,
Mobley also had a pipe containing what appeared to be methamphetamine residue and a revolver on him.
So partial credit to Drew.
he at least wins a couple points in this round
which Trey got none so I guess that you're the winner
of this game that I just made up
I'd like to conclude this by
before he, because he said META
Oh wait
but that that don't mean
Oh yeah because it wasn't a lab
Yeah exactly no
Drew wins this in the same way my uncle Bubbles was a scientist
You know he had a meth line
Yeah right
He had he got his name Trey he kept making bubbles in the little beaker
Yeah
Here's the official statement
Here's the official statement from the department's face
page. A Holt man who jumped into a swamp to avoid Okalusa County Sheriff's Office deputies
trying to serve him warrants last January was not as successful yesterday when he put a John
Deere riding lawnmower into high gear and tried to outrun pursuing deputies. 40-year-old Dusty Mobley
was tased by deputies chasing him while he tried to make getaway on the lawnmower around 930
Saturday morning. I got to tell you, if someone's, I don't feel like they had to tase him.
They could have just probably tackled him off the lawnmower.
Like if he's still on the lawnmower, you know what I'm saying?
What do you think, Drew?
I think that if you see this man literally go swimming with gators and get away from you one time,
you're not taking any chances this second time around.
You know, I don't want to side with the cops.
I'm not sure you should tase anybody.
You should just let him get away.
But if your goal was to keep him from getting away, I don't think they had a choice.
And in closing...
You don't want to try to just tackle a meth head.
You know what I mean?
like they strong.
He beat gators,
yeah, right.
One local wrote,
what I would give to see the video of him
on the lawn mower getting tased
played to the Benny Hill theme
while another added
if he would have outrun them on that mower
it would have been a good commercial
for John Deere.
And in closing, this is not the first.
That's in the, that was in the
that's in the article.
That's in the article.
No, that's a comment from.
a local.
Yeah, I think it's local.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Those are, I think those are Facebook comment.
They are, yeah.
They're people that live there, but who commented on Facebook and they've reprinted them
in their article is what's happening.
Yeah.
I still think the journalist should get the Peabody Award for including it.
Yeah.
Newsweek has reached out to Ocola County Sheriff's Office for further information.
This is not the first time cops have called a Florida man using a lawnmower as a vehicle.
Back in August 2020, police body camera footage captured an inebriated suspect being
pulled over for driving his lawnmower in the middle of the highway.
Paul Burke was nabbed on Highway 316 in Fort McCoy and told the surprised officer,
just take me to jail.
Look, we know what's going to happen here.
It's amazing how their body cams work when they want you to see what's happening.
Yeah, exactly, when something like this is going on.
Also, I'm sure they invoked the name of the possum in these scenarios.
George Jones famously got pulled out.
over on a lawnmower.
It's the old Dusty Mobley just trying to channel George Jones and Richard Petty or whatever.
Just take an inspiration where he can find it.
I'd be remiss if I didn't point out.
A segment very much hit for me, but this is on my mind, me and Drew.
Wait, are you done with the segment?
Well, I kind of, not really.
It's related to the segment directly.
I just feel like it's only fair to say that our partners or colleagues,
whatever on Starburns Network.
Contemporaries? Contemporaries,
whatever they are. Peers?
on the Starburns Network
over at Dumb People Town,
which is a tremendous podcast
that we've all been on before. Me and Drew
were just on it again, but it has not
come out yet. I'm not sure when it comes out.
But soon, me and Drew will be on another
episode of Dumb People Town, hosted by the Sclar Brothers
and Dan Van Kirk.
I'm bringing this up because of the show,
their show is basically doing
what we just did.
and it's so fun and so funny
and I highly recommend it
so if you guys don't listen to Dumb People
Town, you should, or at the very least
the one me and Drew's on, but it's a great show
and they do this every week.
Which is a great way for us to get away with stealing
their idea. This has been this week's
Florida Man.
Florida Man, Florida Man
Hides his pills in his dip can
Does some M, fucks a butt
drives his truck off into a rut.
Look out. Here comes the Florida man.
I love the order that Florida Man's Day went in in that song.
He did some meth, then he fucked a butt, then got in a wreck.
Sometimes you get in a wreck on your way to fuck a butt, and that's a bad day.
He was cheating. He was cheating, you see.
And so he was leaving the trailer and wrecked.
Yeah, fucked a butt.
Look, I didn't think about it much.
I'll be honest, the order of events.
I think the order makes total sense.
The order was perfect.
Yeah, but meth, butt, wreck.
Yeah.
If you do meth, red, it goes.
exactly that way very often.
I promise you.
There's nothing weird about it.
If you get in the wreck, you get your butt fucked later.
Yes, that's true.
Well, this man will end up getting his butt fucked fucked.
That is for sure.
So yeah, that's the epilogue.
Y'all have no idea how giddy I was when I was driving down the road and that whole
song just came into my head.
I literally could not drive fast enough to get fucking home to record that shit.
I got an idea.
what's that what's that song
spider man
it's a spy yeah
spider man yeah and the reason I was already
think I was already thinking about it because
I'm working on a new character called spider
dan um and
because I have a full spider man suit that I just now am able to fit into
and I want to put him in like onto the spider man suit
with like some overalls and have it to wear like
spider dan got bit by a spider while he was hauling hay or some shit
I ain't figured out all the other stuff but I bought a
I bought a bunch of new green screen stuff.
I bought a green suit so I can make things float.
You know what I mean?
So we're going to get real weird.
That's the actual music from the actual song.
From the OG cartoon.
Cartoon, right.
Well, how heartbroken are you going to be?
When they take it down?
If that auto triggers a, yeah, I can take down every week.
I'm going to be pretty, yeah, I'm going to be pretty upset.
I'll do, I will eventually figure out a way.
I'll have Matt Coon do me a little gene.
But I have thought, I have thought about that.
I'm just hoping that like my stupid voice overpowers.
Well, there's nothing more firmly in the realm of parody than what you, that's a classic
parody situation right there.
For sure.
I know it's fine, but that shit's automatic and they'll do it without.
Yeah, exactly.
They do it first and ask questions later.
So you'd have to like, fight it to get the episode put back up and it'd be a whole pain
and I ask.
Yeah.
I know it'll be fine on like our, I know it'll be fine on the audio podcast.
Yeah.
But no, I'm worried about it, but that's just one of those where I'm like, well, I'll figure I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.
Yeah.
Also, I don't know how cut and dry it would be.
One of the most famous parody cases, this is actually interesting.
It's not just boring, I promise, is the two live crew did a parody of Pretty Woman.
And they set precedent in that case basically where your parody has to be parodying the song.
not just like the genre, if not.
The world or whatever.
And my point being is,
I'm not sure if Corey's making fun of Spider-Man.
I think he's just making fun of Florida.
Well, Weird Al don't always make fun of the songs.
He always gets permission.
Every time.
Yeah, right.
That's true, but he doesn't have to.
I was about to say, I have always heard.
He's such a great guy.
He doesn't have to get permission,
but he always does.
But here's also the difference.
Here's also the difference between me and Weird Al.
he gets a group of studio musicians
to recreate the song.
He doesn't just take their track,
which is what I did.
So it is different.
Like if I had got a guitar
and actually played that,
nothing would have got flagged,
then it would have been totally fine.
But that, you know,
quite literally is just the theme song.
It's probably 10 years away
from being in the fucking public domain.
This shit came out in like 1959.
It's 1959.
Damn.
Well, still either way,
either way, me and Mark just did a bonus
a Patreon episode for skews, and he found this clip where
they were having fucking massive political protest in Great Britain
and trying to get their prime minister to resign.
And the protesters in the street started playing yakety sacks whenever,
because Hugh Grant tweeted, like, hey, you know what it hit
is if y'all played yakety sacks, whenever the Tories,
which are their conservatives, whenever the Tories are out there
trying to make a statement or talk to the media,
start playing yakety sacks.
So you've got these real straight-lays fucking, you know,
Republican E, but across the pond assholes trying to talk to their version of the media,
and you just hear the Benny Hill theme in the background the whole time.
And it is pretty funny.
We played that, and as soon as the episode was over, I was like, God damn it.
Because I've had so many things like flagged, and I went and looked and I thought, I was like,
dude, surely that song is in the clear.
And I looked it up, and it is not.
However, having said that, it did not get auto flagged and or taken down, at least so far.
But it's definitely not in the public domain yet.
fucking the mouse, dude.
Yeah, man.
The mouse has made it ever more, like, lengthy,
which for the lengthy amount of time.
Hold on, I want to ask something on Hugh Grant.
Isn't that partly why he did it?
He said if, or maybe somebody just pointed it out,
I read this that, I know it was funny,
and I know the song choice was funny on purpose,
but also the news couldn't play the clips
if a copyrighted song was blasting in the background.
I don't know if that's true.
away with it. They played, I was I'd say, they
still, well, they, because we used
the clip that they played on their news.
Like, they were still playing the news,
you know, the clips for sure.
You could definitely, but that didn't happen.
Oh, I didn't think it would work. I just thought that was part of the
plan, which is, yeah, I mean, that might be true.
I don't know.
Well, I could talk about copyright law
and, uh, and public domain
shit all day because I do have some opinions on it,
but I would like to get to the top 10 rednecks if y'all are cool
with it. And what I would like to do is I would like to
Can we talk about that?
Is that copyrighted?
Oh, because of our book?
Yeah.
Yeah, you know what's funny?
You know what's funny, though?
Is that so I took, it was a clip that we used for Simon and Schuster, like, it was
there, our audio book stuff and we, like, gave it to them for promotional reasons.
And I then took that clip and put it on my own YouTube, and I got flagged for copyrighting myself.
So, yes.
And going back to the Hugh Grant thing, I just remember what it was.
It can still be played on the news,
but people can't share clips of them talking on Twitter
because the algorithm can't differentiate.
If you're just a regular person who's like, you know, an asshole,
yeah, I agree with what this guy said.
You're going to get flagged.
So that is fucking fuck.
Well, we're about to go through.
But the, well, yeah, we can move on.
What you just described is the thing that we showed on our show
was a person on Twitter clipping something from the news
and tweeting it and, you know.
For the record, sometimes it's the length.
It's very short.
It's like fine, which I'm hoping because I'm about to do a thing.
So here we go.
Yeah, I've got a bunch.
You just loading us up with copyright in France.
It's most of these.
The Lugger got a garage band or whatever and just lost his mind.
So I'm going to go through these rapid, rapid speed, the 10 through 1, and then we're
going to talk about him.
So number 10, we've got Andy Griffith, number nine.
God damn it, Jr., how many times Muggle I've to tell you to keep that damn cigar out of my face?
Billy Bob Thornton and number number number eight
My mindset was like dude I'm not gonna pull my pants down
I'm just going you know fake moon them
I get out to my truck they tell me Randy Randy I said what
dude you know they're gonna find you boy I said man
We got Randy Moss
Randy Moss there talking about mooning the Packers
I remember that yeah
Number seven
We've got Alvin York
Number six
Rocky top fuel always
We've got Pat Summitt, number five.
We've got my main man, Levan Helm, number four.
You think God never farted?
May?
There's some tight pants you got on, Bubba.
I got some advice for y'all.
Take two weeks off, then quit.
I'm going to wear those.
We've got the man, the legend.
I have some feelings on what's going to happen to him on this list.
We've got Brett Favre.
Number three, of course.
We've got Dale Earnhard.
Number two, we've got
Dale Earnhardt.
Number one, of course, we have
Dale Earnhardt, and that is the top 10 rednecks,
as put it to you by the well-read comedy group
six years ago and the Liberal Redneck Manifesto.
When I played all those, do you have thoughts,
immediate thoughts?
Something jumps out of your mind?
Levon Helms should be number four.
Uh-huh, yeah.
I mean, I know for a fact why Rep Farb was number four
is he's number four.
It was a joke.
Yeah, right.
That was before he, that's for he.
He'd already pulled his wiener out.
Defrauded welfare.
He had already pulled his dick out, but we were like, that's redneck.
That's fine.
I don't think defrauding welfare.
Yeah.
I was about to say, like, every indictment we're about to make up about Brett Farf does not in any
way remove him from the greatest rednecks of all time.
Like, took bills, took his dick out, defrauded people, voted for Trump.
Like, I don't know, man.
Like, I still got to kind of give it to the guy.
I was never going to have.
for removing him just for the record.
You know, like you said, art from the artist as far as I'm concerned.
And by the way, I think this needs to be pointed out.
We did, because I know a lot of people were like, wait, what the fuck?
We wrote an entire separate thing on Dolly Part in the book.
So that's the only reason.
We also glad you said that.
We went back and forth on whether or not she was a redneck.
Yeah, right.
But regardless, the reason that she's not, didn't make this list is not because she's not
worthy of making this list. It's that we didn't want to waste a spot on her because she got her
own separate thing because that's how awesome she is. So I'm sure that people didn't hear me say that
and are already fucking like commenting away and shit. But that's how that rolled in. I would like to,
if I could make, maybe we could go around and take votes on one person we would like to remove and then
we'll figure out who to put on there. Although, I don't know, the one shitty thing I know about
Andy Griffith kind of makes him red.
I kind of feel like there's got to be somebody out there more deserving of Andy Griffith.
But do you remember, Trey, I don't think we've told this story on a podcast.
Will you tell everybody the story about what was a homie from Drive-Buy Truckers?
I mean, I'll try, but it's been so long ago.
I mean, it was a great story, and I know that I'll be butchering it to some degree.
But basically, this dude who lives in Athens, Georgia and is like in the drive-by-truckers orbit,
I don't remember exactly what he does.
I think he used to do their merch.
A sound tech or a, yeah, like something like that.
He did a lot of merch.
It's Shane's man, David, right?
Oh, right, right.
McBride's man, David, right?
Okay, okay, sure.
He told this story about being a kid, right?
Or like youngish at the very, like a teenager or something like that.
He said he was like eight, I think is what he said.
So even younger, yeah.
And he was in like a story.
store and Andy Griffith was in town filming something somewhere and he saw Andy Griffith as an
eight-year-old and was like, you know, holy shit, that's Andy of Mayberry, right?
Because this is at the peak of fucking Mayberry, huge deal, cultural phenomenon.
And he's like, you're Sheriff Andy or whatever like little kid version of it.
He said to him and Andy Griffith goes, fuck off kid.
And like, it's pretty bad.
the fuck off kid and just walked away and he said something to the effect of like that scarred him
for for life because like years later when he's like a teenager he sees june carter cash in a in a store
somewhere and wanted to say something but he was like well god damn i don't want june carter cash
and tell me to fuck off dude you know it was much better than that the way that he told it
i know i left out of details and stuff but it's been a long time since we were
related that story. Also, I want to say I'm nervous
because I'm bad with names. I think it's David.
Yeah, I straight up to remember
his name. I'm sorry to say that, but
it's been a long time, hung out with him
once. He's cool dude, but
yeah, I don't know. I hung out with him recently
at the after-hour show after
the homecoming shows, but man, I was
a lit. But I mean, I know it's
Shane's man, David. It's just like I'm nervous. His name's
not David. It's Daniel. I'm nervous I fucked up
three letters.
Any noticeable omissions.
Because, like, again, with Earnhard
I get why we did it.
I get why we did Earnhardt 1, 2, and 3.
That's a funny joke.
But, you know, like, we've got to be,
but none come to mind right now.
I can't think of, like, anybody else
that deserves to be in the top 10 redneck,
and I feel, like, ashamed of myself
that I'm not just like, boom, that, well, Foxworthy.
But we did a whole separate thing about Foxworthy,
but he definitely should be on this.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I agree.
It's also tough because it's like,
bless.
The whole thing, we touched on it with Farr,
it's like, all that shit he did is fucked up,
but it don't really make him any less of a redneck,
but it doesn't make him less of a great redneck.
And it's like, man, there's plenty of people
where like, dude, I ain't putting Morgan Wallin on this list.
Right.
But you want to talk about somebody, you know,
people who are 15 right now who don't care that he said the N-word or whatever,
that, you know, they think the sun rises and sets in his asshole.
I mean, if you say the N-word,
and get a gold record.
You, yeah.
Let's go over the stats.
Let's go over the stats.
Set it inward with a soft day.
Scoreboard.
Got a gold record out of it.
Soft while drunk.
Soft while drunk.
Did a Jason Isbell cover.
Was supposed to do S&L and they wouldn't let him be on the show
because he was making out with too many girls on tape.
You're making some good points.
You're making good points.
He's from East Tennessee.
He doesn't have like he didn't come from a rich family.
his voice and look and hard work and saying inward is what got him, you know, into Nashville.
Like, you know, but it's like we're going greatest, not most redneck who is famous.
Yeah.
So I don't know.
It's like, do I add him or do I take Tharv off?
Yeah.
And it's like I think with somebody like him, it's like they need to stand the test of time.
Like if we're still talking about this dude in 40 years for all this stuff, you know, sure.
But like Brett Farve has a long tenured history of.
of Redneck to Morgan Wallen has just recently popped up on our radar.
So I agree with you.
That's not greatest.
Yeah.
Brett Farve said the N-word every quarter.
So, yeah.
I got what you're saying.
When asking people about the nickel defense.
Talking about,
and in the years since,
every now and then,
if I've ever thought about this list,
I've thought about, like,
Randy Moss on it and just to sort of,
and, like, been like,
I just wonder, like, if that would hit for him at all.
Like, because if it wouldn't,
then I don't, then I,
If it would not have for him, then I'm not thrilled that we did it or whatever.
And I know we gave the justification for it in the book, and I just don't know.
I thought that before.
When you started this list and played the little clip and it got to Randy's clip or whatever,
and I heard it, I was like, no, man, hell.
He's, dude.
They were like, Randy, Randy.
Yeah.
He hit a cop with his truck as a joke, not as a joke, but like just as a bump to annoy her
because you wouldn't let him go fishing.
Right.
And they didn't shoot him.
Pretty redneck.
Pretty redneck.
But I know what you're saying.
I don't know.
I know it's raven of me and us to say so,
but I think we nailed it.
It's a pretty good list.
No.
Yeah.
It is.
Pretty good.
Yeah.
The caveats we have thus laid out.
Because, again, nothing is even,
no one is immediately popping to mind.
And like, like, you know, I mean, people call us fake country and all that shit.
But like, buddy, we know red.
and like I just nothing
nothing else is
even remotely coming up
well I know plenty of people more redneck than this list
but are they great you know
yeah that's true plenty of people who are great
who were from the south but like you know I just can't
I mean if I'm honest with you
it was past someone a redneck you know
she was a farmer
she was a farm girl her dad was a farmer
but I remember when we did the research
we had this conversation and we ultimately
you know, needed another woman slash she was definitely.
There was definitely stories of like her dad making her work 12 hours before she went to school.
You know, like there was a lot of red ass shit in there.
She got in a fist fight with him probably.
I don't know.
Well, let's, uh, let's continue with that can of worms right after this.
Yeah, I mean, I mean, like I said, she was, she was a, like you said, she was a farmer.
She got in fist fights.
She, I mean, owned Knoxville.
like I got to give it to her but I just
she had that accent too
she did I'm good with that
she sure did I want to
I almost want to put
Charles Barkley on there now
in recent years
like if Randy don't want to be on there
I know that's I can't just replace the black guy
with the black guy but you get what I'm saying
only one black guy in no in one of Earnhardt spots
we still have spots that we've got two more
I kind of feel like Charles Barclay
I mean, Alabama boy.
He's real country, I would say.
And I mean, he's super red.
He's got to be worried about Pat, though.
He's super country in the like, I don't give a fuck kind of way.
And now he's that way, but like, you know, not to get woke, but like, I mean,
I don't know if y'all heard.
Did you all hear what he said the other day?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Which was great.
For those of you, yeah, for those of you don't know, Chuck said, if you are
or transgender, I love you.
And if anybody gives you shit, tell him Chuck said,
fuck you, which is wonderful.
And red and woke at the same time,
which is very on brand for us, I guess.
So I don't know.
I could see if we're having to get one of the...
And just a week before that or so,
he was like doing it.
I was a few weeks ago now.
He was like doing a show,
and somebody in the crowd heckled him
over his hot take about the Golden
State Warriors who won the championship.
And he responded to that by being like,
I'm going to come over your ass and fuck your mama later.
And then he just kept going.
You might have just ended my counter argument before.
What's the counter?
I was just going to say he might just be country because like Chuck likes to like
wear nice suits, play golf, go to big steakhouse.
Now I'm not saying rednecks don't want to do this stuff.
There's just definitely an argument.
be made that he's more country than red
but that's sort of how I feel
if I'm being honest with you
like that might go true for Pat Summit too
unfortunately yeah yeah
um John Daly
John Daley
John Daly's a great one and I could see again
we got two spots to feel what with the Earnhardt's number one
and we ain't fucking with that but like
Should there be a wrestler on here Corey?
Dusty Rhodes
Dasty Road yeah dusty Rhodes is the American dream
he was the working man's wrestler if
If I'm going to give it to any wrestler, I think it would have to be him.
Or Stone Cone Steve Austin.
I mean, the Texas Rattlesnake, fuck my boss.
Like, that's a pretty good one too.
Could you?
Jorts.
He wore jorts and a tucked in t-shirt.
That is fucking redneck dad.
And Ann drove a beer truck to the ring and sprayed people with it.
I mean, okay, yeah, Stone Cold Steve Austin's on the list.
I'm a little disappointed in us that we didn't.
I think it's because we were thinking of real people.
And I mean, I guess he is, but like, could you make...
He's from Texas.
He's from Texas.
Now, this person is not from the South.
But as we've mentioned before, redneck is a thing that can be anywhere.
Country's a thing that can be anywhere.
I mean, one of my good buddies, Jesse is from Washington State.
One of the biggest country-ass redneck motherfuckers that I know.
He just kind of talks like he's from Canada, you know.
Could you make an argument?
Now, I feel like we filled the list out pretty good,
but do you think you could make an argument for a guy like Larry Bird?
Indiana.
He's from Indiana.
He's the hick from French lick.
He's from the middle finger of America.
He talks a lot of shit.
He, what else?
He backs it up.
He does back it up.
He is, I was about to say, that motherfucker,
if you go to Sherwin Williams
and you're trying to get a swatch
for different types of white
that you can paint your bathroom,
it is at the top,
bottom of a pontoon boat,
and then Larry Bird.
Like that he's about...
Is Larry Bird White was available?
I would be my house white.
Yeah.
That'd be a great Nike shoe
like a color way that you could get.
The Larry Bird whites.
You guys watched winning time.
Awesome.
I always want to call it Showtime
because that's what it should be.
called.
It's just,
HBO clearly didn't want to name one of their series the same thing as their
primary rival network is called.
They should have done it completely different then instead of being like,
let's go on a play on Showtime.
Like it should have just been called the Lakers Dynasty or some shit like that.
I thought it was so like they didn't want to pay whoever owns the copyright,
which I think is Pat Riley.
Well, either fucking way, winning time is stupid.
It's like, it's officially based on that book.
So how could they be avoiding doing any of that?
by just changing the name of it.
Yeah, like in the credits, it says based on, you know, showtime, whatever.
But anyway, that show, goddamn.
Oh, Larry Bird, right?
The way they portray Larry Bird in that show.
Super Red.
It seems pretty goddamn red like it shows his brother, his brother's racist, Larry Bird.
Keith Bird, I believe.
Randy Bird.
But he got a double-nose.
Ricky, Ricky Lee Bird.
Ricky Bird.
Yeah, one of those.
Oh, that's what I want to do next week.
Let's all come with our top 10 most redneck names we can think of
and compare and contrast the list.
I'll call my mom.
Okay, yeah, I'm already thinking of real,
I'm going to try to keep it to real people if I can.
Ricky Bird is a cousin of mine.
No, yeah, that's a caveat.
It has to be people that you know.
You can't just be making up, like putting two first names together.
I've got four or five already right now, so yeah.
Some of them, y'all have heard me.
I'm right here before, but I don't care.
Are we doing nicknames?
Yeah, if it's their actual.
Yeah, absolutely.
Because most of them are.
Like, their Christian name is one thing, but whatever you call.
Like Bubba, you know, obviously that's going to be on the fucking list.
And nobody's really named Bubba.
Well, there's some people that I'm sure are.
Hey, speaking of athletes, though, Pistol Pete.
Yeah, Louisiana.
Not, maybe not, like, maybe didn't have the last thing.
He's not as famous as most of the people on our list, to be fair.
True.
And I don't, I mean, I watched the Pistle Pete,
not documentary but biopic that was I believe a straight to video situation I couldn't even tell you anybody that was in it but I saw it at least a million times when I was a kid and now granted when I was a kid every I didn't know that there was anything that wasn't redneck if that makes sense so like redneck shit wouldn't have stuck out to me you know what I mean like when I'm watching that movie I'll be like that's fucking red or just been like yeah this is whatever I don't but I don't remember thinking back on as like anything in that movie he did that was super
read except for he would I remember his dad would drive him around town in his pickup truck on dirt
roads and he would bounce the basketball out the window like that was one of his drills and shit
i think i've seen that too when i was a kid i haven't like that had you just you saying that
just like made me recall uh that's like some shit i hadn't thought of it yeah it was like a straight
to video like the trailer okay yeah that was like a it was like a straight to
video maybe like off brand Disney type thing and and we had it in the video store yeah and I haven't
seen it I bet you did son I rented it from three different ones yeah I haven't seen it in years but like
so I don't even remember if it was good but if they made it for kids then it was good because as a kid
I fucking loved it it made me one like I would watch that oh we 100% had that yeah I would watch
that I would watch that movie and go outside in my driveway which at the time was I had a dirt dirt driveway
and a shitty goal and I'd practice my shots and stuff.
Never, never took like Pistol Pete.
But yeah, I mean, I kind of want to go back and watch that movie now.
Yeah, for sure, man.
I'm not, I'm not advocating for his inclusion on this list, but
holy shit.
One of the biggest surprises for me that in this regard,
in terms of a guy being a evidently, I don't know redneck,
but at least old boy, like country.
boy, I don't know how redneck he is, but I was blown smooth away when I found out that Lee Pace, the actor is...
Oklahoma Redneck.
Because he's in all those, like, he gets British dude roles.
It's like, I never, and we like joke about that, about how that can't happen.
Even though it should, yeah.
About how it only goes one way, fucking British dudes play rednecks all the times, but you ain't
never going to see a redneck playing a British dude.
But Lee Pace is the exception that proves.
the rule because he's in like he's in fucking
Tolkien shit playing elves
Marvel and then fucking yeah yeah like he's uh he don't do a lot of like
redneck he doesn't do any any any any any I mean pushing pushing daisies is like
he plays the complete opposite of a redneck type dude so that blew my fucking mind
yeah when I found that out I could I did not see I did I won I would have bet
$500 that motherfucker was British for sure maybe Australia did we
leave Ronnie Van Zant off just because we covered
Skinnered so much else in the book. That had to be the reason, right?
I don't know. I hope so. Because if not, then, I mean,
I was about to say we've got some musicians, you know, we did leave on, but like,
you know, you can make an argument for Willie, Johnny Cash, Ronnie Van Zandt.
I mean, you can make an argument for Toby Keith. I mean, Hank, for the love of God.
Hank Jr. Yeah, Hank and his son. I mean, right, both of them. I mean. All three do, Hanks.
I don't know now I'm starting to think we fucked up well what are you going to do do you still stand by we uh we nailed it
It's bothering me it's bothering me too and again my own
My only thought is that but we had to come up dude we got fucking leave on him
I know I know I know
My thing is that there's no fucking way we didn't even think about Ronnie van Zand
I had to have had the only thing right the only thing I can think of is that we gave him the Dolly Parton treatment
Which is where we were like look we talk because I know for a fucking fact
this book is littered with Skinnered references,
odes and all that shit.
So the only thing I can think of is that we were like,
look, we've already given them their flowers.
So let's do a completely different thing.
But if that wasn't our thought process,
we're just fucking idiots.
No, I mean, I remember having some conversation around it in general,
but like it might have also been,
I know this came up with a few different people of like,
is it worth it blowing the Earnhardt joke?
Yeah, right.
And then like Ronnie Van Zant versus Randy Moss, Pat Summitt.
I mean, I'll go ahead and say it.
We wanted a diverse list.
Yeah, sure.
Well, okay.
I think we nailed it then.
But I think the dude, to me, he deserves to be on it more than about everybody,
but Del Earnhardt, though.
That's the problem with that argument.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, for sure.
But like the only way to make that,
Earnhardt would have to just be number three,
but I don't want to put him at number three.
Like, I get while we did what we did,
and I agree with what we did
because it's a goddamn comedy book.
That was funny.
We...
I don't know, man.
I mean, dude, and we had
Alvin York genuinely was a hero.
So I guess we had to put him on there.
He definitely should be on it over Alvin York.
Oh, he's a good shot.
I mean, cool.
Yeah, you're right.
Cousin'Rey.
You know what?
You're right.
Fuck Alvin York.
We're taking him off
and we're putting Ronnie Van Zant
and Charles Barkley.
So my...
This is funny for me.
Y'all know that historical
metal band
that I love so much, Sabotone.
Sabot.
Yeah, I love them.
Their videos are some of the best shit.
Arguably, my very favorite song of theirs is about Alvin York and how much of a badass
motherfucker he was.
So I respectfully dissent.
Okay, then I've got.
That's okay.
I don't disagree.
No, no, that's fine.
Just because a middle band I like has a song by him kicking ass.
I'm like, hold on.
He kicks ass now.
We got to vote.
We got to vote then.
We got to take one.
We got to take something on.
Well, it's two to one.
It's two to one.
No, I'll change mine.
I could go, I could take Pat Summadoff.
What are you want to do?
Do you want to take that?
Oh, I can't do that.
Exactly.
I thought you couldn't.
Take off Alvin York.
I just, I dissent.
You got to vote.
You got, you don't need me.
Alvin, this way.
Alvin York.
We bid you a do.
Well, God damn.
That's a wild.
You had that ready.
That's what I played
That's what I played for his intro
Because I was
Okay
All right, okay
I forgot about that already
And I thought you were like
You know, symbolically executed
I was, I definitely was
It was a tofer
It was a tofer
It was a tufer
I didn't want to interrupt you when you did that
But I didn't think
That was my favorite one
Because it's like, well how do you do
A vocal only representation
Of Alvin York
When you've got clips of other people talk
Yeah.
You know, how do you compete with that?
Well, he had that very, very famous movie that was huge.
Yeah, I mean, you know, it was 80 years ago with the gunshot.
Can I tell you?
I grew up in Tennessee.
It was just easier.
They didn't make y'all watch that.
Yeah.
That movie.
Oh, it's, you know, you know Chief Smoke a Bowl?
He does the turkey, he does the turkey call and all that shit and fucking tricks to Germans and stuff.
You know, like, we were forced to watch.
You know Chief Smoke a ball.
I'm saying I'm saying I am impressed with his choice.
That's Chief Smokable.
That's, that's his favorite.
favorite movie and they like watch it every Thanksgiving and I've been over there for
wild choice of hot, pretty appropriate choice of holidays I guess Thanksgiving war
you know Alvin York but uh chief smoker bowl yeah that's my that's my sister's father-in-law by the way
and that's what he calls himself because everybody from around here every well everybody from
everybody knows the running joke uh you know what do you call 16 rednecks a full-blooded Cherokee
well that runs true where I'm from everyone thinks that they're from Native Americans and he
takes it a step further. That's his joke. He's like, yeah, no, I got Native American.
We're, I'm Chief Smokable. That's the tribe. That's the tribe that he's in, the
smokable tribe. Because he smokes weed. All right. Well, that has been top 10 greatest rednecks
of all time. I'm cool with the addendum. Of course, DM us. Yeah, any submissions that you
have or if you think we got something wrong, that would be cool. And as always, uh,
listen to putting on airs with me and Trey, weekly skews with Tray and Smart Mark into the
abiscuit with Drew and DJ.
Drew is on tour at Drew Morgan,
Drew Morgan Comedy.com.
You can go see Trey at traycrouter.com.
You can go to my substack slash blog,
Corey writesfor you.com
and keep up with me while I'm not on the road.
And thank you all for listening to the well-read show.
We love to stick around longer, but we got to go.
Attune in next week if you got nothing to do.
Thank you. God bless you.
Good night, and skew.
Good evening, the internet.
I'm here to inform you.
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Putting On Ayres.
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No.
Your express purpose here this evening
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A cabbage?
What on earth is that?
It's that really thick grass that you can eat.
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