wellRED podcast - #287 - Too Much Information (a very NSFW episode!)

Episode Date: August 31, 2022

this week the boys did a nudist retreat, and this podcast is what happens when they decide to record after such an event. It is.... well, it's a lot lol. If you're a longtime WellRED listener, it wont bother you at all, but we do advise that you don't listen to it in front of the kids!Enjoy!!Go to CoreyWritesForYou.com so subscribe to Corey's new publication (and if you cant afford it, please email him at [e-mail] and he will comp you)TraeCrowder.com to see Trae on the roadDrewMorganComedy.com to see Drew on the roadAnd check out Corey and Trae's new podcast Puttin' On Airs wherever you get your podcasts, or at WatchPOA.com

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion, because you used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

It's just like, you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie, I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now. Skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people. People across the ske universe, I should say. Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year? Do you even know?

Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery? Getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low mane? Because that's a thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better, and it's called Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app

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language learning services that I just wasn't using. So I was like, I should know Spanish. I'll learn Spanish. and I've just been paying to learn Spanish without practicing any Spanish for, you know, pertinent two years now or something like that. Also, a fun one, I'd said it before, but I got an app,

lovely little app where you could, you know, put your friend's faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies. You know, those weren't a little like the Q-ball-looking twin fellas. Yeah, so that was money. What was that in response to?

What was that a reply gift for? Just when I did something stupid. Something fat, I think, and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first, but then I quit using it and was still paying for it and forgotten. If it wasn't for Rocket Money, I never would have even figured it out. So shout out to them.

They help. If you're money dumb like me, Rocket Money can help. So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney. dot com slash well read today that's rocket money.com slash well r e d rocketmoney.com slash well read and we thank them for sponsoring this episode of the podcast. They're the.

Hey everybody. Happy Wednesday. It's your boy Corey Ryan Forster. You're listening to the well read podcast before we get started. This podcast is as always brought to you by the three of our separate ventures. Of course, me and Trey have the new podcast. putting on airs, which I'm sure most of you know about at this point, but if you don't, check it out.

It's where me and Trey talk about fancy things and commiserate over our shared love of things like Downton Abbey and such things. Y'all get it. Drew, of course, is always doing some stuff with DJ. They got a new podcast, gravy baby that I don't know if it's out yet, but stay on the lookout for it. You can go to Trey's Patreon. Trey Crowder or at patreon.com slash Trey Crowder.

Also go to Trey Crowder.com to go see Trey on the road while he does some solo shows. You can do the same for Drew at Drew Morgan Comedy.com. I'm not touring because as a lot of y'all know, I'm focusing on Corey writesforyou.com right now. That is my substack, which is a little bit like a Patreon. It's kind of the same thing. It's a subscription service. I do some essays. I do audio podcasts.

I do videos. We do a joke of the day every single day. and a lot if you if you've been on there since it's inception i appreciate you if you haven't um there's about to be a lot a lot a lot of new things over at corey rights for you dot com i'm sort of making a transition right now in my career and it's going to be reflected on that site so that means a ton more stuff for you over at cori writes for you dot com five bucks gets you everything it gets you things early, it gets you bonus things. But if you can't afford it and you're like, I would like the bonus things, that'd be really sweet.

I'll give it to you for free. I'll comp you, no questions asked, just email me at buttercream Corey at gmail.com, and I'll take care of you because, yes, I do like making a little extra coin, but I don't want anybody to be shortchanged just because of the money, because I know times are tough right now. So email me at buttercream Corey at gmail.com. If you want a free subscription to Corey writes for you.com, I don't care if you're just sick, out of work on strike, you got too many kids, whatever, I'll take care of you. I mainly came on here to tell y'all that this next episode of the well-read podcast that you are about to listen to is a doozy to say the least. I'm not ashamed of anything that we said, but just don't let your kids hear this one.

How about that? I don't think that you should let your kids listen to any episode of the Well-Ret. podcast, but I know some of you do. So this is just a fair warning. I would not do it on this episode. We were at a nudist retreat in the Poconos. I hadn't drank for about four months, and I had some beers, and I let it all hang out. I admitted to some things. I have never admitted to before. Again, I'm not ashamed. I'm just letting you know that this podcast is a lot. So keep the youngans away for this one. But either way,

we thank y'all for being longtime listeners of the well-read podcast and I'll shut up now and we can get on with the show. Remember, drewmorgancomcom, Patreon.com slash tray crowder and of course, Corey writesfor-you.com

and if you need a free subscription, email me at buttercreamcorey at gmail.com. Love y'all. And now let's get on with the show, shall we? They're the They're the rednecks

They like cornbread, but sex They care way too much But don't give a fuck They're the They're the liberal rednecks That makes some people upset But they got three big old dick That you can suck

You know, I think it through before I go up there I don't go up there and think like I'm in Connecticut I'm just going to talk about Connecticut I think it through first You know Yeah, same Like a wish

I know that's what I'm doing I wish I had that on video You wish came true See that You're gonna open your lips When I did that shit I did not You opened your lips a little bit

You tried to come in there with the tongue And I put it down I don't know It felt like I got like The top and the bottom of your lips When I did that I mean I was trying to do a bit But like

That was pretty What was I supposed to do? I know I agree Like you did the right thing what kind of spider you think that is where's the spider right there you don't see that long legs? Oh granddad it's a

is a baby is that a granddaddy long leg I think that's a grandson That's a grandbaby long legs a grandbaby long legs You know that those motherfuckers apparently Did you know this true That they're actual like nobody's worried about them Because like oh they're not poisonous They're actually one of the most poisonous spiders that it is

It's just that their mouth is so small That they can't bite you I did know that and that I think that might be in urban legs I did know that and that old people told me that when I was seven, but they also told me that black people could jump higher because they had an extra muscle on their legs, which is one of the trades red jokes.

Okay, well, see, no old person ever told me the thing that I just said. Old people always used to tell me that don't worry, they can't bite you. They never then followed it up with. No, actually, that's not true. And the baby snake thing is only true of a couple species. What's the baby snake thing? Baby venomous snakes can't control how much poison they're putting in you, whereas the adults,

just like bite you and put a little poison in you to get you to fuck off. Oh, really? The babies will release all their poison into you so they're actually more dangerous. That is true of some species, but my understanding is somebody took that and ran with it. What about the whole, um, why would a snake just like, let you off the hook and I'm like, I just want you to get out of here as a problem. They only have a finite amount of venom. There might be more predators in a hour.

Right. They only have a finite, like you don't want to waste all your energy. And I'm not going to eat you. So why would I kill you? What about? What about the one of the, is it copperheads smell like cucumbers? That was true. Is that true, though?

I've smelled them. Well, my only reason, so my only reason for saying like maybe that's bullshit. I mean, I believe I have, but maybe I'm making that up. No, no, no. I've heard that in my whole goddamn life. They're like, if you're out in the woods and you smell cucumbers, there's a fucking copperhead. That's why cats are afraid of cucumbers.

Yes. Yes. That's what I've heard. Exactly. Because we always thought it was like, they think the cucumbers is a snake. I made that up on this podcast. What you did? I've heard that before.

No, no, no, that's a thing. You said that to me last time. Well, then I made it upset. No, it's a thing. We've done this before. So, does he not remember that we've done this? No, I don't remember that we've done this. I don't remember it being in the context of you were just making a joke and we're like, yeah, that's like a thing.

It's a thing on the internet. Like a cat turns around it says a cucumber. I believe that I'm wrong, but I feel like I said, that's why cats are afraid of cucumbers. And you go, really? Is that why they jumped? No, no. a year ago, four years ago, whatever. And then I was just like, yeah, sure.

First off, dude, we're on like, I don't know, episode 287 of the well-read podcast. Thank you for listening to the well-red podcast. Yeah, we really appreciate that sincerely. But like, bro, I don't know what we have and have not talked about. But like, I'd always thought, like, I saw the internet videos. Like, there's a whole Rick and Morty scene about the cats and cucumbers. is everybody led me to believe that it was like a cat turns around and they think that the cucumber is a snake so they freak out. It does, but then some people, like, I guess what you're positing is, they go, no, the cat smells the cucumber and is like, that smells like a copperhead.

Why would they not smell it before they turn around? I guess maybe they smell it and then they turn around and go, fuck, I'm right. Have you seen that video that went viral this week? So the concede or the concept is this guy runs out of a door of a store on a busy street, and he runs right in front of somebody. He almost hits him. He does it like six times in a row. And the way they cut it, you see him do this.

And everyone like, what the fuck is this guy? And then a dinosaur is chasing the guy. And when you watch it, it's so obviously a person. But the split second reaction of, why is this dude running? Dinosaur rounds the corner. Everyone has a fucking heart attack. Yeah, right. Well, what I'm getting at is maybe with the.

cat, it's like just like, snake, oh shit, without actually process. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, no, no. That's what I'm saying. Like, they turn around and they're just like, I'm, who, huh, right? Right. But like, uh-oh, we got a guest here. Let's see what this is about.

Hey, hey, come on in. Wait, actually, you might not, we're filming, so you might not want to come to right here. You can if you want. He is not. We don't care. We'll blur it out. Do you want to say hey to the well-read podcast nation? There is a naked man in our room. Come on, Rick. Come here.

You're not on film right here. Hey, we're at GNI this weekend, and we've had a great, great show. We've been here once before. We've got Rick with us. As a lot of y'all know, we had a video. G&I, Gay Naturis, International. We had a video that went viral. It was where we were naked, and Rick is the reason that we're here.

We're not going to see him on account of he is naked as fuck, but Rick, say, hey, everybody. Hey, everybody. that's it That's it Okay Great job Rick's here to give us our checks

Thank you so much Rick We really appreciate that We will love to come out Yeah Fucking bring us back next year You know what Here's the thing I was telling these guys

On our way out And I genuinely mean this If we just had a residency Where we do this Every year I'd fucking do it I did I took this summer

off from touring But when my agent said, oh, I guess you're not going to do GNI, I was like, fuck, now I'm going to do G. That don't count. That's not what I mean. But we understand. Y'all need to switch it up. No, you don't need to switch it up.

No, have us every fucking year. Well, you got to one-up yourself. You realize that, though, right? I pulled my balls out this year. I didn't pull my dick out. Well, I'm saying, like, you got to, if you're going to be here every year. You don't think I won't show butthole next year? You're going to have to take a board up the butt by year five.

I'll do it. He come up to tell you. He came up to me and he goes, I see that you've been doing some, like, once the pandemic started, you've been doing some different stuff. Like I've seen your internet videos. You're the, you're the strawberry shortcake? And I was like, the buttercream dream. And he goes, that's it. Close enough.

Close enough. So now we're going to do the strawberry shortcake as like my foe or something. And that's my man, Rick, that y'all can't see. Because he's naked. He is naked. He's very naked. Yeah. Thank you, Rick.

Thank you, Rick. We appreciate it. We're all right. We're all right. Our people and our people will holler at your people and all that good stuff. Thanks, buddy. Thank you. Thank you.

All right. See you, good night. Like many of our ancestors have said, thank you, Rick. See you later. So I know it's, uh, we're all up there, you know, playing around talking about stuff. When I was up there, I was talking about. And since, you know, we're here and it's relevant, I wonder, like, have y'all ever thought? You're talking about being on stage tonight?

Yeah. Yeah, but, like, if you ever thought about how, like, I know you have because we've talked about it, about how, like, some people think we're gay, obviously. Oh, yeah. And it's always been like, oh, you didn't hear me talk about you two? You didn't hear me talk about you two of us, but it's always been like, if, oh, you meant me specifically. No, I meant all three of us. And I'm saying, like, and I've always been like, dude, if we were gay, it would be fucking ancient Greece just a back in, back of Nalia. Suck and fucking.

Yes. the whole time because don't y'all think that like gay i'm not asking you if you think this we all know gay dudes are still dudes and dudes want to fuck love to fucking suck and all that stuff so it's always seemed to me like right it's a generality but if it's 80% of them that's 400 people here if you're gay and you know it just feels like it'd be real easy it would be if i was absolutely now i mean part of that is jealous well i mean i'm a married man but i'm saying we're performers and that helps, but we would still be performers in this scenario, right? Yeah, if we weren't us, I don't know that we could just walk in and fuck everybody.

And I don't think that we could fuck everybody. But like, dude, we could get fucked. We could be getting fucked right now, easy. Yeah, there's no doubt about it. Now, I want to say this, if we were gay thing, this is like OJ Simpson if I did it, right? Yeah. Because, like, I want y'all to know, and I think I've said this before, but this is real. Andy believes that y'all are in love and have fooled around.

That hits for me because that means, we're selling it. She says they've fooled around before. By the way, I thought you just touched his knee. The most we fooled around is earlier in this podcast where we kissed. We've kissed several times. Which I just capture on video and it will be on my Instagram stories. That's fine.

And I say that it was for a bit and it's always been for a bit. But sometimes we're just doing a bit for you. But we have talked about this before. One time you guys told me that you kissed for a bit, but no one else was there. Right. Well, that's still a bit. Who's the bit for? I do bits that's just me and you.

Like we do like, for me. It makes me laugh. Yeah, right. But like, we just to make him happy. Yeah. It was funny. It was funny. I don't do.

There's nothing. Like, my first priority in everything that I do is to make Tray happy. Yes, but also make everybody around me laugh. And if Trey's the only one there. Yeah. The way you make him laugh is to kiss him. Yeah. I mean, that's, okay, I see where you're going on this and I get it.

But I'm just saying like, brings him joy. Yeah. But we've never sucked each other's dicks. And I feel like... Not to be fair, if we're being real, I don't think she thinks that. But I think she thinks you guys have... Like, I think she's like, no, they've just kissed. And then they told you that story.

Like, oh, it was a bit because they didn't know how to feel about it. Well, that's true. That's inarguably true. Like, that has happened. Yeah, you can confirm that. Yeah, no, I used to... Early on in our relationship... Why do you think I get so mad at him that he don't brush his teeth all the time?

He just said early on in our relationship. That's not how... I'm pointing at him, but we meant all three of us. We all first met each other. I mean, I'm over it now, but do you know how many times it's hurt me that you've done that? I'm pointing at him, but I mean everybody. I'm pointing at him when we were going down to the comedy catch and we do shows, and afterwards we'd go to his mamaw's house there nearby and hang out and party and stuff.

I used to do this thing where like, because he was single at the time, so he normally had some woman with him. He was trying to get at him with, right? And in my head, I was like, we're in fucking, we're in North Georgia. It's conservative, whatever else. He's trying to fuck this girl. So I always thought it was funny. Yeah.

It is funny. It is. To like start making out with him. And he would always go with it. Always, despite the fact that the girl would be sitting there like, what? Because in my head, I was like, yeah, deal with that bitch, you know, or whatever. But like. So, no, that's hilarious.

Yeah. That's undeniably. Me and my buddy Adam McNulty have that same bit. McNulty, he's in a band. He's got like dye blonde mullet hair, earrings. He's jacked. To quote Jake James, he looks like, how does he say it? He looks like if your best friend from Florida, I'm going to fuck it up.

It's something like got on parole and got his life together. Yeah. Like Adam, you know, he looks like he's on spring break into his 40s. We go to O'Bar in Knoxville. The bro dudes will look at him. with his pink shirt and his hair and his earrings. I'm kind of like, what's the stuff of this dude?

Adam will notice it and go talk to them and then I will come up and be like, are you ready, baby? And then we'll just start making out in front of these dudes. That might be gay, it might not be gay, but it is undeniably funny to put them into that position. I'm asking you what's funny about kissing each other alone.

I remember a specific time when it genuine, like a lot of time. You got to keep the big going. You would do that a lot. And like most of the time, I would still get with the girl because like they could tell it was a bit. But I do remember one specific time.

Made her too horny. There was this girl at a comedy catch named Elizabeth or something. I had sealed the deal and we were about to leave and you like came up to me and you're like, all right, baby, that was a good set. And we just started making out. And she left. Like she was just like. And I remember.

She didn't want to break up a good house. She's not a home record. And that was like the moment that I realized that like I'm a comedian first because like I didn't care. That's your Dave Chappelle moment? Yeah. And Trey Kissing you with Strimer saying. I'm 80%

comedian and 20% want to get pussy. Straight. Because I was like, that was hilarious. 80% comedian. We, yeah, exactly.

You and I in Knoxville, we were like doing stuff early on. We would like come up with sketch ideas. And then one time we were talking about it and was like, have you ever noticed that most of our sketch ideas end up with us like being gay together or butt fucking? No,

no. We were like, we should do. Nine in a row. Yeah, I was like, we should do a meta sketch where it's us trying to come up with sketch ideas and we're noting how they always end up with us butt fucking. But then that sketch ends up with us making out and butt fucking or whatever. But like, it was definitely a thing.

Do you remember that same time frame that I almost shotguned into your mouth and mouth kissed you when we were really stoned? And then I was like probably that same day later commented on it. We were like smoking. And I think I just said to you, just shot. shotgun it into my mouth and you started to, there it is. And, you know, you made the, I'm going to blow shotgun in your mouth. And I just stoned, almost kissed you.

Yeah. Like you were just looking at me and I almost kissed you. Yeah. So what do you all? You took him from me. What did? I did. I did.

I don't think, like, I think, I believe sexuality is a spectrum. Of course. Yeah. So, like, right. Well, how do you all like? I'm pretty straight. And I can say that confidently because I've tried harder than most people. Okay, all right.

So you've given it a real shot. Yeah, I've made out with dudes who wanted to make out with me. And it just wasn't that. It wasn't it? No, Andy likes it. I can't tell she likes it in a funny way or if it genuinely gets her going. You know what I mean? It's funny to think that it's like a bit to her.

Yeah. Like she gets you doing it and she's just sitting there like, he's doing it. I don't know if it's a bit as more of it's like a taboo. I don't know what it is, you know? She likes it. But I think people know. I don't share too much because we've talked about this before. Our crowd's a little prudish for a progressive crowd.

For sure. But Andy and I, you know, we get a little weird. And I have thought about it a lot. And I've been in scenarios where I could have done more than think about it. And I'm just not that into it. Like, you know, when you're in 17, everyone either makes the joke of like, I'd never do that, blah, blah, blah. Or you go, I mean, I guess I'd let a dude suck my dick, you know?

Like, that's where jock bros fall. It's either like, never, or I guess I'd let a dude suck my dick. But did you find, when you were in high school with jock bros and all that stuff, like the funniest thing was always like butt fucking or gay jokes and stuff. It was always homoerotic, always. Super homoerotic. It's like, no, it's funny. We're just fucking around.

It's hilarious. So all I was going to say is I think I could let a dude suck my dick in the right scenario. And I don't know if I would necessarily want him to, but like, you know, just like take one for the team. It's just, you know, he needed something to do during the orgy or whatever. So if he didn't have any facial hair or whatever. Like, I still think it would have to be a feminine dude. And I don't know if that means I'm straight or if the kind of dude I would be into on that spectrum is a twink-like guy.

So I've been jacked off by a man. Okay. Did you know that? Yeah. Well, no, I've never told anybody. This is great. Were you in fifth grade? No.

This is tremendous. No. A man with a beard. Well, he was a junior. high school and I was a freshman. So this is a lot like that woman whom assaulted you. But not the same because me and him were both underage. Yeah, dude.

A junior in high school and a freshman is not. We were both underage. And I've never talked about it because like where I'm from, like that's not a thing to talk about. No, it isn't. And like a rumor got out and I squashed it forever. So what happened was. Did you kill him?

No, no. We're still really good friends. Yeah. Yeah. Sounds like it. Like, not in that way. Which his fucking name, by the way. I don't like this guy.

No, tell me his fucking name. No, because he might get in trouble. Like, where I can do anything I want. Like, where I'm, like, my job is not at risk. Now you can. Yeah, so. So, we were in high school. I mean, Robbie does work out a lot.

It's not Robbie. It's not Robbie. That would be wild. I wish it was Robbie. If it was Robbie, I wouldn't. If I thought it was Robbie, I wouldn't have. No, it's not Robbie. because if it was Robbie, we'd definitely still be doing it.

But no, so we were in high school and, like, I was over his house for a sleepover, and it was me and another one of my buddies, and who y'all know. And we were just hanging out, and we were watching, like, Jackass or something like that. And then he just, like, and we, like, he was, like, he was two grades above us. No, just hanging out, watching Jackass. This is literally that bro rape sketch. Yeah, right, but, like, so. Coors-Light, Big Black Dildo.

You remember that Donald? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So we were hanging out, and, like, he was only two grades above us, but, like, to us, that meant he knew everything about high school. We didn't know shit. Yeah, he's a big boy. And so we were hanging out, like, this is back when, like, smoking a swisher suite was, like, the coolest thing in the world.

It was until that not. So we'd been smoking swisher sweets. But hold on. I'm confused because you did pills back then. You weren't until your pill era. No, this was, I wasn't, that was the next year. I got you. Yeah, after this happened, I was like, fuck.

I need to get, do some pills. So, oh, actually, you know, no, yeah, yeah, I was definitely first. So anyways, wherever it's house. When you're done, let's talk about how quick that happens. How quick you go from Swiss or sweets are cool to, I need to rail another Zanx. Oh, I would love to. And I think a lot of this has to do with it. So we're hanging out and he, we're like watching Jackass and he just, he just like,

non sequitur just goes. So if y'all ever heard of mutual masturbation? And I was like. He announced this to a group. To me and one other day. So does that other dude know the story you're about to tell me? Yeah, of course. He was right there.

Was he involved at all? No. Not at all. Matter of fact, I swore him to secrecy. And then, of course, he told somebody. And then, like, for years, it was like this rumor. And I was just like, no, no, no, whatever. Don't fucking say anything.

Now everybody believes it. Yeah. They believe it forever. And it did happen. Like, it 100% happened. But I'm only now comfortable being like, you know what? I don't give a fuck. Was it dry?

So, no, hell no. So he goes, do you know what mutual masturbation is? I was like, what? He goes, well, you know how like, it's like when friends, they're not gay, but like, it feels better to get jacked off by somebody else. I realize it was like, show me the lie. I realized this was totally legal and like he's not a predator. Dude, he was a, he's only a year and a half older than me. But like, this may have happened to him, but like this is a total like, you know what friends do, little kid. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, but like, again, he's, like, even though it was two grades above me, he's only a year and a half. half older than me and was also underage at the time. Right. It is totally cool. I'm not saying he's a lawbreaker. I'm saying this is just wild. The context here is very gruebery. Here's how quick.

It feels like it happened to him is what I'm saying. But here's how quick my mind change. If right before you've been like, hey, is doing anything with a dude gay, I'd have been like, yeah. And then this motherfuckerger goes, you know how getting jacked off by somebody else hits? And I was like, God damn. I mean, it does.

Right. And he goes, okay. Okay, so like, it's not gay, but like, I'll jack you off and then you jack me off. And I was like, I'm a fan of the order of how this is going. You know, and immediately. I was like, yeah, me first, right? So he goes. Of course, he spent half a day as a gay man and gave a dude blue balls.

So he goes and he like puts lotion on, which at that point. He wouldn't got lotion and everything. Yeah, and I'd never. Because he knows what hits. I'd never even jacked myself off with lotion at this point because, like, I'm not going to dry jack you. I'm your butt. even. Yeah, right. When he puts the lotion on her,

is your dick out? Yeah. Oh, I was already hard, but like, you got to understand, you got to understand I'm fucking 14 or 15 years old. I, like, me being hard was like, you know how, when did you get the dick out? Do you know how easily Bruce Banner goes to Hulk? Yeah. It's just like I go, uh, and then

there it is. So, but like when did it come out then? Like, how long was the combo? It wasn't that long. Like, he literally just said, don't it, don't you think it would hit for somebody else to jack you off and I was like uh-huh and so he goes and he was like all he had to do is say it's not gay because and I was like oh right well he's an upper classman like he fucking knows right so it really is like when the cult leader's like it's not against

god's will right because so my other buddy is sitting there and he was just like I'm out but y'all do whatever you got to do and so but not he didn't leave the room no of course not he watched the whole fucking thing he wasn't out at all boy or venny there he fucking he fucking he grabs my dick and I remember at first being like, I don't know about this. But then he started jacking me off and I was like, uh-hills. Yeah, right. And so he jacked me off and I came.

Yeah. And I have never in my life been feeling. So hard. Never came harder. No, I was going to say been filled with so much shame. Oh, I bet. But like. Because I've had post-come shames that are hard.

Dude, I have post-come shame to this day when I jack off because I grew up religious. I won't use lotion. Right. It's because I can't stand the thought of. of like... Having to clean it up. Lavender. I don't want to smell lavender why I'm looking at what I just did.

The reason I don't use lotion still to this day is because once I jack off, I need it to be over with quick. And if I have lotion on, that means I got to get up, go to the bathroom and fucking like wipe it up. And there's just more time for me to know what I've done. And it just smells like a woman who would be there and hate you. I don't... I do oil. I have post-cum shame when I do it by myself. So like this time I'm, I go, oh my God, I'm gay.

We try to be progressive on the... It's PC. I think that's the term for it. Oh, PCS, my bad. So you had PCS because... Because I'm sitting there and go, oh my God, I'm fucking gay. And then, like, I come and he goes, all right, it's my turn. I was like, yeah, right.

You say it just like that? I didn't say that, but I didn't know. I just went like, dude, I can't do that. That is a rookie mistake on his part, for sure, dude. You got to be doing it at the same time. Which I don't think he was a rookie. Yeah. I think he'd done it before.

Somebody tricked him and he wouldn't do it and do it. Dude, I thought about that afterwards. I was like, dude, he should have had us jack each other off. Mutual masturbation. So, like, and I felt really bad, but I was like, dude, I can't do this. Like, if he, the smartest thing he could have done would be to half jack me off and then be like, do me and then I'll finish you up. I'd have fucking sucked his dick. You know what I mean?

I'd have sucked the fuck out of his dick. But he finished me off. Rather than just finish yourself off? And my buddy is just sitting there looking at me. I'm just half-combed. And a dude is sitting there. I was just like, oh my God. And so, like, it, like, I told it, I was like, don't fucking say a word to anybody.

But he said, like, I'm not even mad at him. Like, we're still really good friends this day. He's fucking 14, 15. Like, of course he told everybody that I got jacked off by a dude. And I was just like, no, I denied for until this very moment. Like, I was just like, no, I don't know why. I was like, he's just fucking around. Like, that didn't really happen.

Like, during when that. dude graduated. You know when you like they're having the like a class day or whatever and they have like the awards that they give the seniors or whatever. Do you get the handsop award? When they, no when they so their prophecy for every like they would

do a prophecy which like my senior year It checks out that you all have a prophecy as part of your standard graduation. I mean we do most likely but we don't call it a prophecy. No no. They're normal people. The prophecy for their prophecy for when I was a senior. He jacked a dude off in front of his friend and it's not even

remotely the weirdest part of this story. So here was my prophecy when I was a senior. Stop calling it to have. Everybody. Every person. Every single kid in the class. Here's what we think. Who wrote the prophecies? God did, Tray. Keep up. There was like, you know,

you had the class president and like the treasure or whatever. They had a group and they did it. I get that. But was it just called Most Likely to Be? No, we had that. We had that. It would be hilarious if that's what was happening. Yeah.

But in Chickamauga, it's like, yeah, those were the prophecies. You mean the superlatives? No, no, it is that, but that's what they call them.

So like, when, so whenever in my, like in my yearbook, are you talking about like wittiest and like, most likely it is to succeed right here. They had that in the yearbook

and I got wittiest, which like makes sense. But some of those are most likely. I got most likely to succeed. They had most likely to succeed, but they did one for every person. 97 of, I get that too.

But they called them prophecies. To not make anyone feel left out. I don't understand why we're calling them prophecies. Do you know why we did? Because what they were is, what do you think this person will be doing in 10 years? Yeah, that's still most likely too. I know that. But it what?

Prediction. Those of us who aren't in a cult call those predictions. What the fuck ever? Like, I'm not trying to defend. I'm just saying this is what they were called prophecies. So mine. In the yearbook that were not prophecies? At class day.

A class day. So was it separate? You could get this superlative, but then you get a separate property. Yeah, because in the yearbook, I'm wittiest, but on class day, they would have. Most likely to get jacked off by his buddy. No, no, it wasn't that. You're not letting me get through it. My senior year, it wasn't that.

I'm trying to give you an example. Unlike his friend, you won't let him finish. I'm trying to give you an example of what prophecies are so that you can understand what his was. So my prophecy, They would just say your name, Corey Forrester, and then the group over there would say, and they go, Cory Ryan Forster, in 10 years he will be, and this was my mom has literally never been more mad at anyone in her life. They go, Cory Forster in 10 years, he will be practicing his terrible stand-up routine in rehab.

That was my prophecy that they said out loud. Who wrote that? That's a good writer. We need to hire them. This is a group of people who, like, say in unison in 10 years. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

That's fucking wild. So, anyways. 10 years, he will not be hitting. Yeah, right. That is a prophecy. That was mine, right? Okay. I'm just letting you know what they are.

So two and a half or two years before when this person, when they called out his name, the group just went, Corey Forster. What? You know what I mean? Because he jacked me off. So, like, in 10 years, he'll be doing Cory Forster, right? And, like, I'm just sitting there. Bro, you're getting bullied.

For sure. But, dude, here's the thing. This is how fucking cool I am. It was fine. Like, I... It was. Like, dude, if I had been not cool, it'd been... Like, I still maintain my cool status.

Like, even with that, I was just like, nah, whatever. And I was still one of the cool, dude. This doesn't... It doesn't really change it either way, but was the point of the prophecies to roast? the person? Yes, of course. So that was the whole point. It was like a joke. Yeah. So for every single person, every single person it was a joke, I would say about it. A joke.

And they just for him said, Corey Forster. Because in my head, I was thinking of it like the superlatives or whatever. It's like, this is what the class agrees, but not in a joking way. Because again, superlative wise, I got wittiest. And like Casey Calvord got, you know, most likely to succeed. But when it came time for the

prophecies, Casey Calvards was something like, well, that's some. What is this? Looks like your outfit. Oh, yeah, it does. Sorry. It really does. Sorry about that.

Casey Calvards, like, she got most likely to succeed in the yearbook, but her prophecy was like, I don't know, Casey Calvert. Sucking Dick on the street corner. No, it was like Casey Calvert in 10 years will be like stressing out that she didn't get her fucking food line order perfect. Okay, so not all of them are Howard Stern jokes. Because the two you gave it. No, I'm the only one that got jacked off by a dude.

Well, you yourself also got rehab. I mean, it was pretty intense. Yeah. Well, and again, that was my senior year. Like, the reason that they did that, that was his group of seniors made that up for him. It was more a joke on him. Yeah. And they was he dead now?

But no, dude, he's going to hear this. He's going to hear him. I mean, I hadn't said his name, but he might hear this. People in Chickamauga will know who it is. And by the way, not at all gay. It doesn't matter. Like, I'm not saying his name. So, like, now, by the way, anybody from Chickamaama?

Listen to this. We'll definitely know, but they knew anyway. The whole spectrum thing, like, tiny gay. All right. So,

not as gay as me. I say that. But I'm saying, if he's worried about it, I'm gayer. But I'm saying, like, if I'd only known back then that, like,

15 years later, I would be like, who gives a shit? You got jacked off by a dude. Like, that don't even matter. But at that time, that was terrifying.

Of course. I was so scared because there were people that would, like, I thought that people were going to beat me up. Yeah. Like, seriously.

Like, kill me. So, you know, yeah, related stories. Like, when I realized, when I realized, me neither, me neither, but it hits. When I realize the whole, what you were saying about the prophecies, like, oh, it's a joke or whatever, y'all know we've ripped on me before for being in a fraternity in college. We had nicknames. Before I even start, I want to preface it by saying, I'm not joking. They're all racist.

I'm not joking. I do not remember my nickname. I'm not just saying that. I don't even remember it. But they were things like the prophecy. See, like there was one guy, one guy of the fraternity who had had testicular cancer and got it got it cut out and he was fine. But his nickname was. You're allowed to say that, Joe.

His nickname was, his nickname was STP because I'm half the man. I used to be. Stone Timble Pilots. Yeah, Stone Timble Pilots. And that's how the nicknames worked. They were just like roast things or whatever. But also a part of the process was there was a part where you had like, you can. get to know each other and there's a part where you tell like, like, what's the, I don't know

how to put it, like, what's the deepest, what's the heaviest thing, you know, your brothers need to know this about you. Oh, yeah, like skull and bones. Where they put them in that thing and you got to tell the deepest secret. Your deepest, so my mom was, you know, I told my mom she was dead to me two years ago, and they were all like, the fuck, dog. And I meant that shit. So, so, but this one guy, this one guy, one year after I'd already been through this,

like his pledge, he was going through it. And they were, they were telling him, it's like, you've got to share this with your brothers, you go to this, whatever. It's like, what's the deep, your deepest secret, the heaviest thing about you, whatever. And he was like, he was like, uh, uh, and they're like, share it, you know, whatever. And then finally he goes, he was like, he's like, uh, it's one time when I was 15, my buddy put his finger up my butt. Thumb, it was actually thumb.

Yeah, it was way different. Thumb particularly. He said, my buddy, put his thumb up my butt. But, you know, and everybody just started dying, laughing immediately. But that was, like, his deepest, darkest sacred. Just what time my buddy put his thumb up my butt? What was the reason? For why the guy put his thumb up his butt?

Were they doing it sexually? Were they just hanging out? And he was like, raspberry. In my recollection, no, yeah, I think it was like, I think it's a similar thing to what you were saying. It's fine. It's all fine. It's fine. I got jacked off by a man.

It's fine. I want to know, Trey. What's the gayest thing you did in high school or junior high? High school, I mean, we've talked about it before. It's for sure just like, and I guess it isn't that bad, but it's, uh, well, none of it's bad. We used to all, yeah, right, none of it's bad, but we've definitely talked about it on here. We all just used to jack off together. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Not jack each other off, but jack off in the same. That's why it wasn't weird when he said that. And it's funny because like, I know we talked about before, but like, they would be like, the, the like, bro, redness. buddy thing would still come through after all jacking off where they'd be like they'd be like do you come you don't come does does comes hey dust comes don't you does you don't fucking come my buddy just sit there and they would go that's piss that ain't come that ain't come he's like he's like look at him he's got a little bit between his fingertips trying to say that's come

dust fucking comes got up yeah ours wasn't dust but it was somebody else that's like look at that fucking come he come you know and we're all just like god damn i'm glad we ain't gay right yeah so i didn't do that in high school in like and i may have told this before fifth grade i've laughed at dust comes dust comes in like fifth grade and like fifth grade and i don't know if i've told this before or not i definitely have told this part i would watch like the playboy channel and like some like you know lighter stuff with my friends and most of them would be like, what the fuck, I'd show it to them. They were like, look at that.

And they'd be like, no. Because they were in fifth grade. My one friend. How old were you? Fifth grade. Okay, right on. My one friend, I was 19. My one friend, Brandon, was into it.

And then for like a year, we'd just watch porn together, but we didn't know what jacking off was yet. Yeah, of course. And then one time I grabbed his dick because he told me to feel how hard it was. And I was like, I don't. And he goes, just feel how hard it was. I ain't gay. It hurt. I mean, I don't care if it is, but he's like, feel how hard it is.

I was like, all right. I think how many times he said it was a little gay. Yeah, right. So, first of all, feel how hard my dick is. It was pretty hard. This is starting to get weird for me because I have a fifth grader and a fourth grader, and I think about that shit all the time. If it makes you feel any better, we didn't know what we were doing in fifth grade,

and the dick touching came like in seventh grade. It was a year and a half of watching porn together, light porn. It also reminds me. heard this comic, uh, LA comic tell a story on a podcast. He grew up really religious.

Yeah. And, uh, similar to what you were saying. They were at the, they were at a camp like this, except it wasn't a bunch of gay, fully grown man.

It was a bunch of kids at camp. But they went in room. Same. Same. One of his buddies, they didn't, he didn't, they didn't know nothing about none of that, right?

He's probably six, seventh grade or something. And his buddy was like, hey, I got to show you all this magic trick I got. You ain't going to believe this. It's crazy. Look what I can.

do and they all went in there and closed the door and just watched that guy who was the same age he's like another sixth grader just jack off until he came everywhere and they were all like holy shit look at that you could do he's like yeah isn't that crazy look how it gets hard and i can just fucking look shit comes out or whatever they just stared you know stared that's rad though that's hilarious that's adorable they're learning from each other in a well it is funny like that moment when And my buddy, I've told the story before because every time I hear kid rock or taste barbecue pizza, I get a boner. Because the first time I ever jacked off, me and my buddy, we went to a middle school dance, ball with the ball, had just come out. So we were listening to that and his mama's car on a way home.

Was it an eclipse? Huh? Wasn't an eclipse. The car? Yeah. I don't remember what her car. I think it was like a Tahoe. I get horny in an eclipse.

A white car? A white eclipse? Yeah. Yeah, me too. As long as it's white. No, I mean, that's true. And also white walls. You know if I go to a hospital, I can't.

I'm hard. Makes me shit. And a home goods, the home goods store. But anyways. Smell of the library makes me shit. We had had barbecue pizza from Pizza Hut. Fucking shout out, potential sponsor. Pizza has barbecue pizza back then?

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, bruh. And it was, I may have just got it. Because, like, I remember it being a big deal. And so we ate the barbecue pizza. We listened to Kid Rock. And then we went up in his attic.

And he, like, sat us. all down. He was like, boys, I'm about to fucking let y'all in on something. And there's not me, John, all these other, like, we didn't know what jacking off was. And he goes, y'all know what jerking off is? And we were just like, no, tell us more. You didn't say yes?

No, you know, no, because we were so innocent. First time I was confronted with that, I was like, I know what it is. No, we were so innocent that we didn't even know that we shouldn't know a thing. You know what I mean? We were just like, oh, what is this like whittling? You know? And he told us what it was. And he's like, I'm going to put on a movie. And here's what you do. You grab your weenie.

You know how it gets stiff? And we're like, I got a stiff weenie all day. And he goes, you just fucking, and he was like, gave us the two finger thing. And he goes, you just do that. And I was like, we're like, okay, I'll never forget the movie. It was called The Sexual Matrix. It was on HBO. We watched it.

I jerked off. And then I stood up. And I was like, oh, my God. And I got not come, piss everywhere. Yeah. And all of them grabbed me and threw me down the stairs. and I was butt-necked. I told you all this.

So you took the red pill. Hold on. Hold on. What? They turned it on and then you pissed everywhere and got thrown down the stairs? No, no. I said, because I came, but it was really pissed because I wasn't like old enough to come. You know what I'm saying?

How you just kind of like piss everywhere? No. You know what you said? That ain't come. Dust comes? Yeah, but it's pissed. Uh-uh. You just pissed all over yourself?

Yeah, of course. Yeah. It's hard to piss when you got a bone. No, but you just, did nothing come out for y'all? At the beginning, no. Because they would always come in. The first time I did it, I came. Okay, okay, then maybe it was come.

Because I thought I was coming, and they were like, that's piss. And I was like, something came out of my dick, and they were like, that's piss. But it was like clear. You know how it comes, like, super white? No, that. Unbelievable how much you were bullied and you're unaware of it. This is, this whole episode is something else. But the clear thing, that, that was the, like, early on.

it's so weird to talk about little boys coming but early on fucking the stuff that would come out that's when they would be like that ain't come, that's whatever I had and they told me it was pissed. It ain't pissed. It ain't pissed. Was it come? Kind of. It's like early

early come. Okay, well I pre-combed everywhere and they were like, you fucking piss and I stood up and they fucking pissed. They fucking, and then they threw me they threw me down the stairs butt naked and I rolled like an attic stairs. I rolled end over in

into the living room where their fucking mom and dad was, just butt-necked with fucking pre-cum all over my legs. And they were just like, I'm sorry, I beat myself. Yeah, and they were just like,

what the fuck? And I was like, I'm sorry. And I just walked up and we listened to Kid Rock. She way. Yeah, I guess I was bullied and I didn't really think about it. Like, damn, bro.

Like, I thought I was one of the cool kids. I guess I was like the jester of all them. You know what I mean? Like, I was the, what's the word? You're the, uh, nerd? Our word. No, not a, no. There's a word for like the person that is the thing that.

The, the but dunts? I don't know. There's something. A word for the person that is the thing that does what? The butt of all the jokes. Maybe I'm thinking of a movie where they do that. There's like some movie where they're like, you're the, I'm going to remember it as soon as I upload this episode. I'm not trying to make it.

An offensive joke. Is that what Dotard means? I don't know what Dothard. Maybe. But like, I don't know, man. Like, I, like, oh, dude, was I not cool? Like, I, shit. Like.

No, you pissed. Right. Yeah, that's true. Everywhere. But like. They threw you down the stairs. I was still definitely in the cool group, but I was always the guy that were like, hey, you got jacked off by dude.

We threw him down the stairs. He pissed on him. He pissed on him. Fuck, man. It ain't the first time you've unraveled some shit on the podcast. It really is. Yeah. And for the record, I feel great.

I don't give a shit. Like, that's fine. I, listen, I am Corey Ryan Forster. Who's he talking to you? And I, the camera. Oh. And I was jacked off by a man, and I liked it. And I didn't jack him back off because I'm selfish.

And I have come to terms of that. And I'm sorry. You're blaming yourself. Do you have guilt about that? Oh, yeah. I think about it all the time. Because, like, he... You really should jack him off.

Because he got just... It is unfair. Because he got just... But it was also dumb. Probably more. But it's also... Like, I got... I came.

Yeah, but again, like I said, it's a rookie move on his part. It's definitely... Yeah, he learned a lesson that day. Listen, they definitely... Even, like, even in high school, there was still nuance. Like, everybody was like,

I mean, it's less gay to be jacked off than it is to jack the person. Listen, so... With no judgment on what's less or more gay, it is less. I know. And so there's still, so like, my point is, I always felt bad for him because he got the same amount of shit, but I came.

Got more shit. You know what I'm? Right. He got more shit and I came. Yeah. Dick in the hands were two in a buck. But again, dude, I fucking just, like, I just stone, just stone face just like, that didn't happen. And people were like, we've heard from everybody that happened.

I go, well, I don't know what you heard, but that didn't happen. And I've said that every day of my life. A lot of people don't think it happened. A couple years ago. go. Somebody brought up to me. I was like, a lot of people, a lot of people don't think it.

I don't know. Right. Because the high school is like ridiculous. Right. But, but just now was the first time I ever admitted like, no, that dude totally jacked me off and it hit.

We'd like to think Bluetooth for sponsoring the podcast. It did hit. I mean, getting jacked off hits. Sure. And at the end of the day, like, you know,

like, I don't know, I've thought about this a lot. In that like, it's so like, why is your dick so much different? so much different than any other part of you. Because it comes.

It is the part that comes. Your sexual organ. I mean, yeah, he could have fingered your butt hole and I would have hit it too. Okay, sure. But I'm saying like if a dude gives you a massage, you ain't gay. No, you ain't gay. He's a professional. But what if a professional jacker offer jacks y'all?

But he wasn't a professional. I disagree. It was pretty good. No, he wasn't. Listen, if you're not gay, then you're not gay. But doing a sexual act with a man is, I think, the definition of a gay act, which is fine. The reason that we even got into this is because he was talking about gay being on a spectrum. Yeah.

And I'm so. Everybody in this story is on the spectrum, for sure. Yeah, right. So I'm married to a woman, and that is primarily who I'm attracted to. And I... Is her or women? Women. Yep.

Well, and her. Yeah. I mean, she's like... And I think penguins, didn't we do that one once? Did I fuck a penguin? You should jack off to penguin porn? No. Ferry thing?

No. I don't know, but I'm in. It was a furry thing. Didn't you have a furry thing once? Or a cartoon thing? Oh, you're definitely right. There was definitely some kind of furry thing. Yeah.

I saw a lady who was at a furry convention, but it was her butt. You know what I mean? She was in a fucking dog costume, but it was her butt. I was attracted to the butt, not the fact that she was dressed up like a dog like that's okay it was the

whatever you know what it's fine if I wanted to fuck a dog lady whatever but my point is I wasn't trying to give you shit I was trying to list the things we've talked about my point is I'm straight and now especially now that I'm married to my wife Amber who I love more than anything I would not cheat on her and she's

who I have sex with and that will be the case forever however if she were to divorce me I could definitely see myself letting me get my dick sucked by dude. Like, I don't think it would bother me. You are dressed like a vape,

and you've dyed your hair blonde, and you're wearing baby blue open-toe sandals. They're oilers, though, football. I know. I'm not trying to cast aspersions upon you. I'm saying you could pull it off if you wanted to. Yeah, but I'm not saying. You could switch teams.

Okay. I mean, like we said earlier, anybody could, but you could seamlessly. There's no switching teams here. Okay. I don't mean like I would actively go for a gay relationship. What I'm saying is if I was drunk and some dude walked in, again, I'm not married. Some dude walked in. He was like, good show.

I'd like to suck your dick. I could see myself being like, I could see where that would hit. So, go ahead. That actually, that was the thing that I was going for. I know. That's why I brought it back to this. When I first brought all this up, I had no idea what we're about to get into. I was just going to talk about how like,

I feel like if you're gay, it's got to be so easy and hit real hard, I would imagine. Yeah. Just because the way dudes are, like... And if Amber left me, I'd be getting my dick sucked by a lot of dudes. It's real easy to fuck a dude, you know? And so if you're a dude... You just got to ask in front of their friend. Right, exactly.

If you're a dude who wants to fuck other dudes, it's got to be fucking open... It is. I think this is like well-tread ground in the Zygaz guys. I think, yeah, I think you're right. I think... And for us... I don't think anybody would... Well, and for us...

Buck up against that. And for us specifically. Logically or like morally. I'm not trying to act like we're famous dudes. We're not. But like at any of our shows, if we wanted to get our butts fucked, dick sucked or just shoved it in our face. We could have done it.

Do you think that there's anybody who would disagree with that sentiment trait? No, I guess I was just trying to say like that seems like that would hit. Yeah. And what hit. That's what I'm saying. Like, Vammerer leaves me. It does hit. I'm not going to be, I'm not going to be a gay man, but I probably would let a dude

suck my dick because it would be super easy. So, let me ask you this. I could be wrong, but I think that would make you bisexual. And I'm not... Probably, yeah. I don't know, but like, I'm not, but I'm not attracted to men. I'm saying I let one suck my dick. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah.

Like, but I'm not attracted to the guy. I would never suck his dick. That would be... That would make me be attracted to him. There's gay men who who I think won't do that. Let's... fucking I'm bisexual. Like, whatever. I'm not saying, I'm not, I don't know.

I just think. I think that I'm a guy that would let a dude suck his dick if my wife didn't exist. If you flip-flop it, let's push it further into, you know, minefield territory. Oh, great. Lesburns, right? That don't count. Do they, but do they have to do they have to do they have to do all the shit that we have to do to get into a girl's pants? Or is it like because they're both girls?

Yeah, probably. Like, if it's too. dudes and they both want to fuck dudes. They're like, yeah, it's on. And it's as simple as that. So the stereotype with lesbians is that what happens in their world, and again, this is a generality, but if 80% of them do it,

then that's a lot of them. It's like they move in on the second date. Right. Like, if they have a connection, then they have a connection. Right. And then the other stereotype is they break up but stay roommates, end up becoming friends with each other's new wives.

That's the stereotype. there. But it just, so like, it feels to me like if there's some gay dudes hanging out and I'm not, I'm not based, I'm not basing this off of gay stuff. I'm basing it's off of dude stuff. If it's some gay dudes hanging out, they'd just

be like, who wants to fuck butts and suck dicks? Why wouldn't you? And they'll be like, we do, I do, let's do and then they all just fuck butts and suck dicks, right? Because that's how guys are. But I know, but I know from my friends in law school. Do lesbians, it seems like it wouldn't be there.

All right. And I don't think it is that way with lesbians. Let me back up. a little bit on the... I'd like to think that it is. My experience with my friends in law school is... I've seen some movies. They also have boys.

Where it's like, hey, you want to hang out tonight? Let's get drunk and go get fucked. And they just don't... Maybe they're both tops. You know what I mean? So they don't... Or maybe they just didn't have the connection. But like...

I know from some of my law school friends, like, I'm thinking of two in particular who were really tight. And they were like, no, they were like, we tried a couple of times. We were just like, let's make out, and then nothing, we just, there was nothing there. Right, because, like, I mean, me and Amber got together in a very similar fashion. Like, I mean, we're of opposite sex, but, like, we were just friends that watched each other fuck other people, because we were friends. Wait, in the same room?

No, no, no. Oh, yeah, for sure. Like, but, like, not when we lived together, but, like, dude, one time I was fucking this chick, doggy style at a, at a, at a, like, a festival that we were at. and Amber was getting plowed by some other dude in a camper. And, like, me and Amber, because we were such good friends, high-fived each other. Like, I'm banging this girl. She's getting banged by this guy. And Amber looks at me, and I was like, what? And we high-fived each other. That's love.

And then we got married. So I'm saying, like, you know, I get, like, me and Amber were, like, such good friends. And then we did go, oh, this does work. But, like, I could see with dudes where it's like, no, just because you're two gay dudes doesn't mean you're going to be together like you do have friends. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But with, but with, I don't mean they can't like control.

No, no, no, no. I don't mean they can't keep it from sucking each other's dick and fucking each other's buds. But it does seem, but I think, I just mean that dudes, gay dudes can be friends easier than straight guys and straight girls that close. Like, I think that it's like, too gay. Because maybe because if they fucked it wouldn't be a big deal. Maybe.

Maybe. Maybe. But like, I'm not, now, I have, I have friends that. are girls and we're close. Have you fucked them? Yeah. If you get it out of the way, it's different. No, but get it out of the way, it's different.

Okay, but like, I do have, I do, I'm just trying to think of a girl that I'm really good friends with that. Can you think of anybody you haven't had a sexual interaction with those in your sister? Not really. No. No. No, okay. Oh, I got plenty of them.

Yes, I can think of one. And we're really good friends, but like I do feel like, but we're not as close. close as some gay dudes are with each other because I think that if we were that close, we would have ended up at least making out. Do you know what I'm saying? I think so. Maybe you're not attracted to each other. I would fuck a snake if you held its head still.

Okay. Sure. Let's see if Kid Rock was playing. You never had a snake bun and barbecue pizza son. A girl friend that like, you know, just hit for you. Yes. For 14. We were friends from kindergarten

Until after high school We were such good friends We never had sex And we like We were just such good buddies And then one day we both got drunk And she sucked my dick on a lawnmower Yeah

And then there you go I think you are a bag of shit sexual Yes I agree with you I would not deny that Yeah I know Like I just I fuck

Yeah And like I think I have a little bit of that in me in the sense that taboo or don't do this or it's not supposed to happen makes it hit harder. Yeah, I mean, again, though, I'm married now. Sure.

And it's like, shut off and it's fine. Yeah, shut off and fine. That's how people talk. No, but it genuinely, like, I found the woman that I love. Yeah, I got you. And I, dude, I don't even, like, jack off anymore.

Like, I'm such a docile creature. Are you on antidepressants? Yes, but, would you? you like to know something, Drew? I'd love to know. It started before that. And I've said this on, I probably said this before, but like, yes, antidepressant, a side effect is that you're not as horny anymore.

But before I even got on the antidepressants, just when I started going to therapy, I stopped jacking off as much because me and my therapist found out that when you're a super depressed person and you're not happy, you jack off because in that moment, you're, you feel something. let you feel something. Yeah. Right. And so I was jacking off all the time, fucking all the time.

And now that I've gone through therapy and found all these ways through meditation and stuff to like fulfill myself, I don't have that life. Oh yeah. For show, dog. I don't have to, like, I don't have those moments of like, I need to feel something because I'm otherwise fulfilled. You know what I mean? Like, I don't have those moments at 3 o'clock in the morning where I wake up and go,

my life is nothing. I must come. Yeah. I'm a, I'm a very, I'm in a very good place in my life and I'm very fulfilled. Sometimes I have to remind myself, I'll go, oh, shit, I need to fuck my wife. You know what I mean? Or like, I need, like, someone I'll get a boner. I'll be like, oh, I guess I could jack off.

I get the not jacking off thing. I'm missing a connection here with the, um, I'm meditating and so I'm not horny anymore. My horniness was so connected to needing to feel pleasure. Right, right, right, right. That I was overboard with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And now that, like, I genuinely find happiness in, like, finding a four-leave clover on a walk. Oh, you're gay.

All right. This has been the well-read podcast. Thank you all so much for listening. I have Corey Wrightsfor-you.com where you can see a lot of my stuff and subscribe. Trey has patreon.com slash Trey Crowder. We also, me and Trey both have the new podcast. Putting on Ares, and a new spinoff, by the way, if you're a Game of Thrones fan and you're watching The House of the Dragon, me and my sister just started a podcast, the Little House of the Dragon, which can be found on the putting on airs feed,

or watch POA.com every Sunday preceding the new episode of The House of the Dragon. Drew, what you got going on, buddy? buddy i got a podcast with carman and dj is going to come out mid-september called gravy baby but i just what an episode first of all i i don't want to be corny but thank you for sharing that with us y'all the first people i ever told yeah us and you know i mean oh yeah everybody yeah yeah it was wow that was a whirlwind it sure was and again i don't want to put too final point on it Just thank you. Oh, well.

Yeah. Can I say the F word now? Trey Crowder.com. Not if that's why you did it. What if I made all that up? I can see. Come see us live and Corey's gay. Go ahead.

All right. Bye. Love y'all. Thank you all for listening to the well-read show. We'd love to stick around longer, but we got to go. He's a good singer. To do next week, if you got nothing to do. Thank.

God bless you. Good night and skew. Shane, have you ever seen, I know Corey's seen it. We talk about outside Providence. Yeah. He's a good singer that.