wellRED podcast - #288 - Drew Went to Burning Man and Corey Got Hit In The Head w/ A Guitar!

Episode Date: September 7, 2022

Not much more to explain than what is in the title! Hope y’all have a great day and be sure to check out Corey and Trae’s new podcast Puttin’ On Airs wherever you get your podcasts, or at Watch...POA.comSubscribe to Corey’s new publication at CoreyWritesForYou.comGo see Trae on the road at TraeCrowder.comGo see Drew on the road at DrewMorganComedy.com

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Starting point is 00:00:00 And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion, because you used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.
Starting point is 00:00:19 It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie. I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now. Skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people. People across the ske universe, I should say. Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year?
Starting point is 00:00:41 Do you even know? Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery? Getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low main? Because that's a thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better. and it's called Rocket Money.
Starting point is 00:01:00 Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket Money shows all your expenses in one place, including subscriptions you already forgot about. If you see a subscription, you don't want anymore, Rocket Money will help you cancel it.
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Starting point is 00:01:44 I used Rocket Money and realized that I had apparently been paying for two different language learning services that I just wasn't using. So I was like, I should know Spanish. I'll learn Spanish. and I've just been paying to learn Spanish without practicing any Spanish for, you know, pertinent two years now or something like that. Also, a fun one, I'd said it before,
Starting point is 00:02:06 but I got an app, lovely little app where you could, you know, put your friend's faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies. You know, those weren't a little like the Q-ball-looking twin fellas. Yeah, so that was money.
Starting point is 00:02:28 What was that a reply gift for? Just when I did something stupid. Something fat, I think, and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first, but then I quit using it and was still paying for it and forgotten. If it wasn't for Rocket Money, I never would have even figured it out. So shout out to them.
Starting point is 00:02:45 They help. If you're money dumb like me, Rocket Money can help. So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney. dot com slash well read today that's rocket money.com slash well r e d rocketmoney.com slash well read and we thank them for sponsoring this episode of the podcast. They're the they're the liberal red necks they like cornbread but sex they care way too much but don't give a fuck.
Starting point is 00:03:20 They're the liberal rednecks that makes some people. upset they got three big old dicks that you can sun. Oh, what's going on, everybody? It is your boy, Corey Ron Forster. Here we are at the well-read podcast. We appreciate y'all being here telling your friends, like and subscribe and download and all that good stuff. The early portion of this show is always brought to you by me and the boys' other endeavors. I've got Corey writes for you.com, my subscription service, where you can sign up for five bucks a month and get bonus podcasts and essays and videos. and all sorts of good stuff.
Starting point is 00:03:56 Me and Trey also have putting on airs. The new hit podcast. We're into Hillbilly Dipschits. Talk about fancy stuff. Trey, what you got going on, buddy? You can go to Trey Crowder.com and check out my live dates. Come and see me. I sure would appreciate that.
Starting point is 00:04:10 Failing that, or in addition to that, depending on how sweet you are, you can go to patreon.com slash Trey Crowder. Got a bunch of extra stuff on the Patreon there. If you want to support your boy, and then the only other thing that hasn't been mentioned yet is the weekly political podcast. podcast, weekly skews every Tuesday night at 5 Pacific, but then it just stays on my channels
Starting point is 00:04:32 after that. So you ain't got to watch it live. But yeah. Hits. Hits. I normally right now would throw to Drew, but a lot of y'all know that Drew is birthday last week and he was at Burning Man. He's on his way back or he's at he's having technical difficulties.
Starting point is 00:04:46 He's texted us and he's like, guys, I'll be on in a second. I don't know if it's computer or his computer or what. Which is a huge bummer because Drew is actually bringing on a special guest this week and it's his uncle terry um who was at at burning man with him and uncle terry's already in the waiting room and i don't know drew's uncle terry that well but from what i've heard about the guy i don't really think he's somebody we want to keep waiting so if it's okay with you try i'm just going to go ahead and bring uncle terry on who am i to keep uncle terry waiting baby bring yeah do okay uncle terry can you hear me can you can you can you see me i got you here boys i can see you
Starting point is 00:05:20 too how he's doing oh we're good man we're good so uh so do you have any idea what's what's wrong with Drew here? What's what's going on? But I've been all week with him. There's a million things wrong with him. But if you're asking me, why he can't get no internet? No, he's probably got dust all over his computer. So how was you, was this your first, I mean, was this your first festival of any type this burning? Yeah, it's my, well, I've been to the rhubarb festival a couple times. They got down the road here, but I ain't never been to know something like this. Rubarb festival. Yeah, they got it down the road here, but it wasn't, it didn't even
Starting point is 00:05:48 remotely the same. How did you get roped into this whole deal? Well, they said they're going party out in the field. I said, hell, let me go. You know, and I said, those are going to be naked women there. I said, all right, let's do it. Right. A bunch of hippies, though, ain't it? It ain't it? It ain't hard to talk me to nothing? I wouldn't call them hippies. You know, hippies is dirty. These people was nasty. But hippies got some self-respect. I tell you that right now.
Starting point is 00:06:10 I got to be honest with you, boys. I was out there. I mean, I didn't have a bad time because Uncle Terry has a good time, where he's at, especially if he's in his RV. But I can't say I get it. I can't say I understand what the big deal is. Does that makes sense? Like, I don't know. Yeah, I mean, I've, like, I've never been and I am not the type of person who likes to be, you know, I've told many times on this podcast, you probably don't know, Terry, I don't know if you listen to this program, but I'm a, I'm a big shower. No, I mostly just listen to George Jones. Yeah, okay, that's fair. I'm a big shower, so it's never really had an appeal to me, but I mean, it does seem like everybody really
Starting point is 00:06:48 gets into it. Like, it's a big deal. Yeah, I only share once a week myself, but that's also problem. I only shower once a week because I don't need to. But yeah, I'm not, listen, I want to be very clear. I'm saying I don't know what the big deal is. I'm not saying I don't get what they think the big deal is because here's my thing. All right, you say, we're going to go out in the middle of nowhere, party, get a little freaky and then burn some shit. Well, God damn, we do that every weekend.
Starting point is 00:07:12 Why are you going to make such a big deal about it and go our way out in the desert and get all hot? You know what I mean? I fucked Drew's Uncle Tiffany in the back of the S-10 last weekend. Let her put her finger on my butt and then we talked some gas can. His Uncle Tiffany. that's uh did i say uncle tiffany say i've been hanging out with the motherfuckers one week and i'm already confused about gender yeah yeah it's it's hey i wasn't going to say anything because it's your
Starting point is 00:07:32 your prerogative uh uncle terry no i don't do prerogatives ain't nothing wrong with it but it's not uncle terry style i'm more into women but what i'm trying to say is that if you just want to blow stuff up in a field i get it why you got to go out there and go through all that to do it you know do they yeah i mean i'm with you uncle terry it was a fun party don't misunderstand me boys It's just you can have fun parties in the goddamn infield of the Daytona 500. Like, you ain't got to be out there and not have no water or nothing. So what was Drew getting up to? Like, I mean, can you fill me in on a little bit more of why he might be missing right now?
Starting point is 00:08:04 He got butt-booty naked on day one. I didn't see him for five days. And when he came back, his beard was a different color. And he was like, it's the dust. I said, I don't think so, son. It's the sin. You know, I've seen Drew naked a lot of times, but I don't know if I've ever seen him butt-booty naked. That is a different type of naked.
Starting point is 00:08:20 Well, you know, back where I come from, we say people, People need to be washing the blood of Jesus to get the sin off. But I'm not sure even that would get that shit off. So it's your first festival. Do you and Drew hang out normally and party together? How would this different? I can't say we hang out normally, but yeah, we partied together. The main things we got in common is we like tits and weed.
Starting point is 00:08:39 Yeah. And we try not to talk about nothing else. You know what I mean? It's like fuck corporations, let's get high. But then if it goes any further than that, we end up fighting. I have to assume there was plenty of titties and weed at burning man. Do you get tangled up in any of that? Uh, no comment because Aunt Tiffany might be listening, uh, but I did get tangled up.
Starting point is 00:08:59 Yeah, and you're a monogamous man. We can, uh, we can respect that. Monogadous. Monogadous? Yeah, that's what I said, I think, monogadous. Is that? Monogamous. You know what I mean? Oh, like a rap song. Yeah, they's doing that too. That's pretty good. Yeah. Oh, did you enjoy the rap? Yeah, I like rap. Who was there? Can you remember any of their names correctly?
Starting point is 00:09:19 Oh, I don't know their names. It sounded like computer chip. Okay. I believe that might be the EDM. How much music is there going on at Burning Man? All of it. Every 10 feet. You can't hear your own fucking self-think. You can't even hear the music because of the music. You ever heard that before?
Starting point is 00:09:36 You ever had that happen to you? Is it all coming out of speakers? Or are there people performing this music? What, you mean? Are there, well, like, is it like instruments, or are they just blasting music from very large? sound systems around art installations and shit. Son, it's both, but also I don't think you quite understand what's going on at this particular event.
Starting point is 00:10:00 There's like a shark driving around. It looks like a car, but it's a shark. So like, was it coming out of speakers? Was it coming out of a button? Was it coming out of a violin? Might have been coming out of a man's asshole. I have no fucking clue. The shit I saw out there on that desert, I can't even begin to explain to you.
Starting point is 00:10:15 Now, I want to back up here for a second because it's possible that what you meant was it was a car that looks like a shark. But what you said was, it's a shark that looks like a car. Yeah, and apparently also I called my dearly beloved uncle Tiffany. What I'm trying to tell you, boys, is I'm asked backwards since being in the desert. Yeah. Yeah, right, right. Desert got too fucked up. I'm really sorry that Drew wasn't able to hop on here, but we're really glad that you came.
Starting point is 00:10:44 Yeah, buddy, I came a lot, and I appreciate all them people that help me out with that. But I'm going to have to get out of here before I get myself in too much trouble. Plus, I'm a little tarred. Yeah, you are a little tarred. I can tell you that. I just call him feathered because he's tarred, baby. That actually was my plie name, feathered. Well, hey, Uncle Terry, everybody.
Starting point is 00:11:06 And hopefully we know you've got to get out of here, I assume, to go to work. That's none of your business. You're right, it's not. Uncle Terry, everybody. Hopefully, we'll be back right after this with Drew Morgan, we hope. Okay, and we're back. We have Drew. Drew, we just talked to your uncle Terry.
Starting point is 00:11:28 Yeah. Yeah. How was that? It was fine. He said that y'all, uh, you all had a little bit of fun there at the, uh, at the burning man. Oh, yeah. He just showed up. I didn't know he was coming.
Starting point is 00:11:38 I didn't realize your uncle, you had an uncle same name as my late father. My dad's name was Terry. Today is actually his, uh, his birthday. Would have been his birthday if he wasn't, you know, very dead. Yeah, he'd been 66 years old, not to derail anything. But Uncle Terry reminded me very much of, Spook Terry, which was my daddy. Also liked a party.
Starting point is 00:11:59 It seemed like a bit of a party animal. That's all I'm saying. Yeah, Uncle Terry's a party animal. I think he was in Reno gambling and found out I was coming through from my mom. And he just came with me. He didn't even have a ticket. He didn't need one. Yeah, of course.
Starting point is 00:12:13 Guys like that, they just kind of, I mean, you know, my uncle used to always say, what if you got to do, Zach, like you belong. Yeah, he told him he worked there. Did he tell you all that? He got to the gate. He was like, yeah, I'm here to fix the porta potty. He showed him his tattoos and they let him in. Yeah, I did that.
Starting point is 00:12:27 I did add at Bonnaroo once to get in one of the, because I was with Chris Key who did, he was a vendor there. Because Chris, he's like a, he works in food, wholesale, whatever the hell. Anyway, he was, it was like a vendor there. And so he had one of the vendor bracelets and they had their own separate. You didn't have to go through security or stand in line. You know, you just walk out through this gate, but you'd have a special vendor bracelet, which I didn't.
Starting point is 00:12:51 But he told me, he was like, yeah, he's going to help me unload that truck. right over there. And he just pointed at a truck and they were like, all right. And I got to roll on through. It was pretty sweet. Taking a page out of Uncle Terry's book there. But I got a bunch of questions. Foremost on my mind, just because of how I've been living. So here in Burbank, here in the San Fernando Valley over these past few days, it's been hotter than the devil's asshole. It's been 105 plus
Starting point is 00:13:23 not on record breaking heat wave up here. And even in my house with the air conditioner on, we've been hot as fuck during the daytime. And I'm just wondering
Starting point is 00:13:35 what the heat was like out there. Yeah. Borderline unbearable from about 10 a.m. to about 5.30 p.m. and apparently the
Starting point is 00:13:50 well apparently the consistency of that meaning it was daily that hot with very little reprieve there was one day it got cooler because of a dust storm so you know you you could breathe in the in the heat but not in the actual air but anyway um apparently that's not that common and I know this sounds silly what I'm about to say but everybody's like
Starting point is 00:14:13 usually you have some days where it's more like 90 or 93 not 100 to 100 And for those of you who aren't from California, like 9093 sounds unbearable. But if you're in shade and it's dry heat, it's 90 and 105 are very, very different. For sure. Especially if you've got if you're like if you've experienced 105 and then 90 shows up, you know, in that case, you're like 90 ain't bad at all. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:41 And you get acclimated to it all. So even the veterans I was with, uh, of, uh, of that case, you're like, uh, 90 ain't bad at all. of Burns passed were like, you know, by Wednesday or Thursday, they were like, this is something else. It's supposed to get cool. Because we were expecting it to get cool on Wednesday or Thursday, and it really didn't. So it was- Were you there for a whole week?
Starting point is 00:15:02 Difficult. Yeah, you don't necessarily have to be. Right. But yeah, we were, we went early because, actually, I can't fully get into that. But we were not supposed to be there the whole time. Like from a ticketing standpoint? No. Andy had, I'll tell you all later.
Starting point is 00:15:19 It's not like fun or funny or anything like that. Yeah, right, right, right. I was considering staying the whole time, the whole time. And I did stay the whole time. I know that doesn't make sense. I'm very, no, I hear you. I think I get it. So, you know, at Bonaroo every year,
Starting point is 00:15:37 I'm not trying to be morbid. I'm just trying to compare and contrast festivals. There's always at least, you know, a couple overdoses and like a heat stroke. And it's, to my knowledge, never been 105 at Bonner. It's like, how many, how often was it people just, like, falling out because of the heat? Because I would have. Well, let me first of all say that, you know, I did Bonneroo this year, and I'm going to be honest, I think it was harder because it was sweltering.
Starting point is 00:16:03 Bonnery this year was about 95. It was like 90 to 95 almost every day. And it was so humid that, like, you just, I mean, it was awful. Like a blanket, a damp blanket. it was shorter. It was four days. We did five because we went a day early. So that was easier.
Starting point is 00:16:23 But Bonneroo otherwise was harder. As far as I know, I don't know for sure. As far as I know, though, there were no deaths at Bonneroo this year. I think that deaths at festivals are one of those things that come in cycles because they happen. We had four deaths at the last Bonneroo. And I think everybody was careful this year. And everybody was like not being an idiot because of that. I don't know what.
Starting point is 00:16:46 And so the next one, everybody's going to be like, nobody died last year. Let's let it rip. I really believe that, yes. As far as I know, there were two deaths at Burning Man, one was, this is really sad, a premature birth. I don't know how pregnant the lady was. She wasn't expecting it to happen. You know, she wasn't a burning man eight months pregnant. Did the situation have anything to do with it?
Starting point is 00:17:09 I have no idea. I'm certain that person will believe that and blame themselves forever now, which is brutal. And then actually an attorney from Tennessee. There was a really nice tribute to him that was being passed around some of the Reddit threads and all that. He was an older man. He had a heart attack in his RV. Was it the heat and party him maybe? This guy, I went and read his Obit.
Starting point is 00:17:36 It was really cool. He was a judge. He was a Democrat, Tennessee Democrat judge appointed by, was it Sunquist who he had? That was the liberal governor, Trey. He was appointed by Sunquist. He was high up in the appeals court. He was an actor. The picture of him, he looked like your dad actually.
Starting point is 00:17:53 Might have been Bredison. Oh, really? Bill Bredison was the governor, too, as a Democrat. Yeah. Had a John Lithgow thing going on? Yeah, and he was a big guy, and he was playing somebody in a Mark Twain. The picture they use of him, he's got an old searsucker suit on. Anyway, everybody had great things to say about that, dude.
Starting point is 00:18:13 I have to imagine that. at one point that guy when someone says how do you want to go out he was like I want to die in my sleep in my RV at Burning Man I mean that was literally every reaction from people on that Reddit thread who was older like a lot of people were like I might get emotional in a minute
Starting point is 00:18:29 and I can tell you guys why in a few minutes but I'm also just exhausted but all the comments was really beautiful were like hey I'm 60 and I don't want to die when I'm 63 but if I do it better fucking be a burning man yeah right at least a last happy memory.
Starting point is 00:18:47 So ain't nobody Sprint had first ended up fire this year nothing like that. That's happened twice as far as I know. At a protest? No. It happened in 2017. I reckon, I don't know. Yeah, right. Last time was 2017 and you know, a lot of people saw it. Not everybody saw it because it's such a big event. You'd have to be on the exact side.
Starting point is 00:19:08 And there are people out there, both firemen and security. and apparently that guy was the Barry Sanders of Burning Man. Like he broke out three tackles. I don't know if it was the most recent one, but one of the ones I saw I read on Reddit that, and this absolutely blew my fucking mind, because I just assumed it's like a dude, that guy's completely out of his gourd on way too much,
Starting point is 00:19:31 you know, hallucinogens or psychedelics or something like that. But one of the dudes who ran face first in the fire, they did a toxicology report and he was stone cold sober. And that wolf, fuck, me. the most recent one. Like, he wanted to die there. But like,
Starting point is 00:19:47 I mean, maybe this is just the old drug taker in me, but I'm like, if I'm going to die, I'm going to at least get one more in before, you know what I mean? Like, yeah,
Starting point is 00:19:56 how long does Coke stay in your system? Maybe he got, because it was the last day, maybe he had a great three days. According to the drug test that I failed at tractor supply, it at least stays in your system for four days. So I know that. Well,
Starting point is 00:20:10 the drug test. you take it tractor supplier probably the most accurate on the planet. I mean that. So I also saw people on Reddit complaining about they were calling them plug and play, plug and play sites. You know what that means? I don't. What does that mean in the context of Burning Man? To explain it fully, I guess I have to explain how Burning Man works.
Starting point is 00:20:34 And I guess I don't know the difference between it and Bonarrow. Huge difference. Okay. My favorite thing about it was while viewing it, I kept coming back to, I cannot believe people do this just because they want to. And here's what I mean by that. Bonaroo is a money-making venture. Burning Man is an organization where the ticket, which is admittedly expensive, just pays for the crew to clean up so that they can leave.
Starting point is 00:21:10 leave no trace and organize everyone in the meantime. That's literally all it is. It's not owned by anybody. They own themselves. It's a nonprofit, right? So they organize camps in a circle and the address is clock shaped. So it's letters. The streets are letters and then a clock.
Starting point is 00:21:30 I was at 9.30 where 930 is on a clock and E. Right? So it's like the streets are the Esplanade, which is the main part, A, B, C, D, E of G, all the way. I think to K. Those camps, there's free camping, but those are few and far between. Most camps are themed. In order to get a spot at a themed camp, you have to present what your theme is and then say what you will provide the playa.
Starting point is 00:21:55 They don't sell anything at Burning Man at all, except for ice. And the reason they do that. Yes. Ice is the only thing they sell. The reason they do that is if they relied on volunteers for that and not someone who wanted to make money, they might run out of ice and people might die. Right, right. So there's nothing else for sale there.
Starting point is 00:22:14 So there's bars. People come in and they say, our theme camp is an Irish bar. We're going to set up a shade structure with a bar. We're going to have this many beers on tap. We're going to be open from 8 p.m. to midnight every day. People can come and get beers. And so the festival of itself, half of it,
Starting point is 00:22:33 is being around the camps. And it's too big for you to see it all. I played giant ski ball. there was putt putt. There was a camp that was a bar, but they also had a nipple tassels that you could make your own. It was called nipple crime. Nipple crime.
Starting point is 00:22:52 Yeah. The camp across the way from us that was the coolest camp was called Daddy Issues. They had a dad rock day. Dad made you pancakes one day. They had cam beer day where they gave away free cam beer and also told you you were like, you know, you were good at stuff like a supportive dad. They had dad jokes. day where people wrote dad jokes all week and then they read them out loud while giving everyone
Starting point is 00:23:13 beer. Our camp was called Camp in a pro-pirates. We did coffee in the morning, but then we all dressed like pirates and you could walk our plank. And the plank was a wobbly board that had a genus set with a dick on the top of it. And if you could get all the way in and grab the dick, you win. We celebrate you. You just get a sticker. If you lose, you can play again, but you have to take your clothes off. It was strip plank, essentially. We also had a rack, like they put pirates in the rack and you could get flogged. So we could play. We were like just inappropriate pirates. God damn.
Starting point is 00:23:43 Yeah. There it is. That is so raven. Where the hell you come up with that? Like what? And also who determine, there's just people that, are people,
Starting point is 00:23:53 who, yeah, our capitalist brains are not able to function. How do the camps come together? Who's the person? So it's like, yeah, that's it.
Starting point is 00:24:02 That's the thing we're going to do. And then like, you go from there. Do you get put into a camp or you have to apply it, to be in it? be in a camp. Some camps will let you apply to be in them. Those are the more popular ones that are somewhat famous for various reasons.
Starting point is 00:24:20 And they do the same one every year. Like every year it's like we're doing this. Those ones do. Other people I would assume rotate. As far as just like, I mean, because you want to, there is an online system through the Burning Man organization that you can say, I have a camp, here's how many people we have and we want a spot. And then they will say, okay, here's what neighborhood you should be in if you get
Starting point is 00:24:39 accepted. But no, that's what I'm saying. My favorite thing, the thing that was most moving about it to me is there were like 80,000 people there, Trey, who just did all the things you just said just because they want to. When Bernie Man first started, it was just a random party in the desert, and they started doing that stuff. This culture sprung up naturally. Now it has to be more organized because there's more people, but they were doing that kind of thing I just mentioned on their own, basically from the beginning. So if you just decide when you want to go to Burning Man, right? You never ban, but you think it's for you.
Starting point is 00:25:14 Maybe you and your old lady or something. How do you go about doing that? Do you have to know somebody that goes? You can free camp. So there's places where it's just people camping. They kind of put them on one end. You know what I mean? And that's not an interesting neighborhood to be in,
Starting point is 00:25:30 but you can just stay there in your RV or with your tent. Or you can, there are camps where you can find. online where you can apply to join them. Other than that, yeah, you have to know somebody. Andy and I were invited to join a camp and we thank them if they are listening. The inner pro pirates, correct? Out of Santa Cruz for the most part. Yeah, I'm definitely understanding more what you mean about.
Starting point is 00:25:53 I can't believe that there's people who want to do this just because they want to do this. Because like, if you laid all that out to me, I was like, oh, this is, they're clearly making a lot of money because this is super cool. But like, it's just that people want to. to have fun and that is the only thing that they're motivated by. Okay. Yes. What about, so there's no vendors.
Starting point is 00:26:13 No vendors, no food. Are you expected to bring all your own food or these different themed camps? Some of them serve food and you can work with that. And you can't work with that, but you are expected to bring your own. So one of the things about Vernon Man is with radical self-reliance. When they first started it, they came up with like, you know, the 10 tenants or however many there are. And I mean, it's not like, it's not a cult. You don't have to memorize them.
Starting point is 00:26:40 But you should probably familiarize yourself with them for many reasons. One is on the radical self-reliance thing, you know, they expect that of you. If you showed up with no food or not in a camp that is, you know, providing food for you, they're going to be like, well, good luck because most of your day, you'll find food. But then that's what we're doing all day instead of, you know, fucking partying. Or having cooler, more spiritual moments, which was genuinely a big part of it too. The plug and play to answer that, that's what got me started down this road, is of course, you can turn it into a money-making venture. It is very frowned upon.
Starting point is 00:27:17 Supposedly, if they find out, they'll kick you out. Now, a lot of people will say, a lot of camps have been around forever are plug-in-play, and they kind of look the other way. Good old boy system. But essentially what a plug-and-play is, Trey, someone applies to be a camp, says they're going to do all this stuff. but then when they take applications what they do is they go out and advertise hey for $8,000 you will have an air-conditioned room, a bathroom, and meals. And so essentially they just do what everyone else was doing because they wanted to for fun and they say pay us and we'll allow it.
Starting point is 00:27:54 One of the more infamous ones, there's apparently always Russian oligarchy type people there. And you cannot, at point of the thing of Burning Man is if you, have a camp, you have to let people in at least some part of the day because you're there to be a part of it. That's like one of the rules. Like you can't just build a wall and be like, we just, we stay to ourselves. Right. So these Russian oligarch kids have their like bodyguards and all that. But if, but when people, when burners find their camp, they'll just go in there. They'll go take over. And they can't tell you you can't come in or then you could go tell security and then they would
Starting point is 00:28:28 never be allowed back or whatever, you know. So people just go in there and crash their party as it were. But that's probably only fun for a few minutes because, you know, they suck or whatever. Yeah, I wouldn't trust that the Russian oligarchs weren't going to do something to me just because, hey, the ten tenets of Burning Man. Well, it has more to do with, like, not one to get kicked out, you know what I mean? Oh, right. What are these, like, famous ones you're talking about, the ones that are by the Thunderdome? We're the must, the must seize. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:58 Burning Man. Right. Well, I was told the New Orleans one, which I can't remember the name of, was, and I went there and I was talking to a guy and I'd never been and I was like, hey, it's my birthday. I want to see some New Orleans style music. And he said, it's the first time in 20 years we haven't had live music. So supposedly that one's always one to not miss. He also explained to me that the tent structure I was seeing was not normal.
Starting point is 00:29:19 Apparently they usually rebuild the French Quarter with like a facade. They have two stories with the iron bars and all that. And they were going through a rebuild that year. But that's supposedly one, I didn't get to experience it. The Thunderdome. Yeah, they were just like, all we heard you were coming. decided not hit this year. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:35 Oh, it's your birthday? Normally this hits, but this year, we just, we're not hitting. This year, we're off hitting this year. This is all you going to be here? Yeah, we ain't going to hit this year. It normally hits real hard, though. Exactly. You nailed it.
Starting point is 00:29:48 Happy birthday. Yeah. By the way, I'm going to list ones I've heard of that I remembered for various regions or saw. There are many other famous ones, I'm pretty sure. District is a big dance one. It's the ones. you see pictures and videos of of gorgeous fucking people dancing. They have music every day until sundown.
Starting point is 00:30:09 Bubbles and bass has music every morning until like noon. That's for people coming down for the most part. It's called bubbles and base because they give you champagne. The Thunder Dome is Mad Max themed and metal music themed. And they have a Thunder Dome. You get on bungee cord swings. It's one of the coolest things I've ever fucking seen. And they back you up.
Starting point is 00:30:28 You're inside a dome, but people can climb up the dome. I did that and I watched. and they let go and you swing at each other and you collide in the middle and you have foam sticks in your hand and you just beat the fuck out of each other. There's no helmets. Maybe, but there's a waiver on your ticket
Starting point is 00:30:45 on the way in the Burning Man that literally says it does not matter what happens to you here. You can't sue. I know on us. Oh, right. They swing you in, you beat the fuck out of each other. You try to grab onto each other
Starting point is 00:30:57 so you can stay beating the fuck out of each other and then they decide who wins. The energy there was unreal. I fucking loved it. I was going to take Andy. We had a midweek crash because of the heat that affected some of the plans we had. Speaking of, another famous one is the Orgy Dome. Didn't make it over there.
Starting point is 00:31:15 Got too stank. Really? Yeah. Like they smelled you at the entrance. They were like, oh, no. Yeah. No, that's too much stank. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:31:25 They got like a stank meter, like a height meter at an amusement park ride. It's like, you must stank less than this much. to enter the orgy. Yeah. You walk up, the alarm goes off. Too much steak. Yeah. No, that was a personal decision, but that's hilarious.
Starting point is 00:31:45 All those type camps, like the kinky camps and the strip club type camps are all in one area. I saw something wild in one of those. There was a bar called Spankies where to get a drink, you have to spin a wheel, and it'll say, like, pretend you're a pony or get spanked over there by the spank machine or something like that. We went there once. It was tame. It was like being in New York. There were people wearing leather, but it was whatever, you know.
Starting point is 00:32:08 Went there again, and there was something called the groping booth, and I saw legitimately the wildest thing I've ever seen in my life, which was a woman blowing various men. They were all very good looking and very involved with each other, everybody. And it went on for a while. I found that them doing that didn't make me uncomfortable, but after I went and looked through the hole, It had holes in the walls, you know, so you can see in. Yeah. I found that knowing that people could watch me watch, like I don't like that.
Starting point is 00:32:44 So I didn't watch for very long. But that was, anyway, that was an area. What did I want to. That's called the stankhole? What was it called? It was a gropey booth at a place called Spankies. That's funny because the most, the post-popular college bar in Cookville, Tennessee is also called Spankies. So it's like, and it ain't nothing.
Starting point is 00:33:02 Nothing like that. Well, I don't know. It's probably gotten like that before. So I've only told you all about the city. There's also what they call the playa, which, you know, if you imagine a clock shape in the center is where the man is that they burn at the end of the week. Groups not only make. It had to be so hot. I saw a big, I saw a big aerial picture of it.
Starting point is 00:33:22 And I sent it to the group thread. And I was like, where y'all think Drew is in here? And Mark said he right there in the butthole part. But anyway, I know. So I feel like I know exactly. I could now look at that picture and point and determine where around about where you were. Because it totally looks like the clock. You're right.
Starting point is 00:33:40 You said 9.30. And it ends at 10 and 2. There's nothing. So in the center is playa and in between 10 and 2 they call deep playa. So during the day, there's a lot of art out there. I mean, it's there all the time. But you can go look at these structures. And I mean, it's world class.
Starting point is 00:33:57 And a lot of it, they make out of wood and they burn it. And that in and of itself, goes back to what I was saying. My favorite part is just realizing that people just do this just to do it. I mean, they build. Yeah, right. I mean, elaborate, beautiful. It probably takes them three weeks to build after spending a whole year designing
Starting point is 00:34:14 sculptures and structures, and then it's gone. So during the day the plies are, it's where the man is. It's where the temple is, which I'll get to in a minute. It is basically a sculpture garden. during the day. At night, the part that I haven't gotten to yet is there's also things called art cars. Art cars are probably the most elaborate and expensive things there is,
Starting point is 00:34:44 other than maybe the camps, but they don't get destroyed every year. Art cars, that's what they call them. Most of them are traveling dance clubs that you dance in front of. Some of them do other stuff. There was one that was a slide. I truly cannot explain to you guys what it is.
Starting point is 00:35:04 One of the most famous ones is called Mine Warrior. I ended up seeing the sunrise one night there. Did you see the sunrise pretty much every morning? No, no, because it was so hot I had to go to sleep some night because it was hard to sleep during the day. We had an air-conditioned yurt, but it only held like, you know, three people and they were 17 of us or whatever rotating. Right. So I did get a couple naps in the yurt, but I, I couldn't stay in it. Anyway, the Mayan Warrior just as an example is a giant big rig,
Starting point is 00:35:38 but you cannot tell it's a big rig. Maybe from underneath you could. It looks almost like a cruise ship, and there's stages, and they've got all these women who dress like Mad Max dancing on it and a DJ, and you can dance in front of it. There's plenty of those. I was actually on one called Air Pusher. were friends with some of our people and one person in our camp DJed Air Pusher.
Starting point is 00:36:03 Air Pursher is an old Toyota pickup truck that has, they built from the back, you know those old Toyota camper trucks? You could put a camper on top of it. It's like that, but they, they built a platform and they made it look like a ship. And then instead of a sail, it has a fully inflated hot air balloon in the shape of a Zeppelin. Nice. So it looks like a ship is floating around the desert because they cover the, the truck in these white umbrellas and cotton, and then they light them up so it looks like
Starting point is 00:36:33 blue electronic clouds. So you have to get really close to look into it to see that it's a Toyota truck. What it looks like is clouds moving with a boat on top of that, with a Zeppelin on top of that. There's a DJ booth. You're dancing. Art car. It looks like art.
Starting point is 00:36:49 But there were art cars that there was one that looked like a front porch out of like Opie and Anthony and they serve cookies. And that was nice. You know, you're running to that. You mean, wait. Do you mean? Andy Griffith? Is that what you were talking about?
Starting point is 00:37:01 Yeah, yeah. You said Opian Anthony. The famous shock jock, New York radio program. Yeah. They did front porches? They didn't feel very front porchy to me at all. I'm fried, boys. No, I get it.
Starting point is 00:37:18 Andy Griffith, Anthony, Opie, Opie Griffith. No, I totally get what you were going for, but that's just completely the opposite of Andy Griffith. So that's at night, and they're all lit up with LED lights, both to make them look cooler, but also, of course, so that you don't get run over by one, right? Oh, yeah. That was the wildest thing.
Starting point is 00:37:36 You need bicycles because this place is so big to get around. Biking across the ply at night and seeing how many there are, I cannot express to you how unreal. And I don't think I've ever used the phrase mind blowing. It blew my goddamn mind. And again, for no reason other than we want to. I mean, look, don't get it twisted. I mean, you're blowing my mind right now just hearing it.
Starting point is 00:37:59 Well, again, don't get it twisted. The people who do the mind warrior probably also have a dance club in San Francisco or something. Yeah, right. You know what I mean? Like outside of Bernie, man, they have a following now. But when you're on the playa and you see that, I don't know how many art cars there are. I'm not exaggerating. Maybe a thousand.
Starting point is 00:38:16 Really? And they're all lit up, moving in every direction. And there's lit up. Some of the sculptures, they're better at night. So they're lit up at night. And I don't think I ever knew what mind blowing was me. my brain truly could not wrap its head around like that this exists. I get why people go back and it becomes such a thing for them.
Starting point is 00:38:37 It's inspiring in a way because it's like just to make art in the desert, party, get away from regular society in a way like, oh, everything's free. You don't have to buy anything other than I. And have a community. And that's what it is as a community. People did all this. And it's the, it is the biggest one in the world. There are, I've seen smaller versions of that. This was mind-blowingly big and beautiful, sincerely.
Starting point is 00:39:04 Is Burning Man like as big now as it has always been? Or is it like tapering down? But I think the crowd that keeps it going is, they're Gen Xers for the most part. And I'm not saying there's no millennials and Gen Zers involved and that they won't eventually replace it. But if it looks to me like it's been slow going. You know what I mean? Like getting that young blood in there. So you're actually considered a young person at Burning Man.
Starting point is 00:39:32 I probably in the middle. I mean, there's plenty of 25-year-olds. It's just that they don't have, well, look, dude, the fucking Mine Warrior supposedly cost $3 million to build. Yeah, right. So, no, there's no 23-year-olds doing that shit. You know, these are tech bros. That's why it's so associated with the tech industry.
Starting point is 00:39:49 And for better or for worse, they fund a lot of it, you know. Yeah, right. I mean, I'm not going to lie. I've said, we've talked about before, I think I've never really understood Burning Man, but I feel like now I sort of do. I can definitely see how all that hits. I never had had it, never talked to anybody that had gone. And it's always like, all right, it's like an art party in the desert.
Starting point is 00:40:12 That's cool, I guess, and there's no money. And it all just was pretty nebulous to me. And my main thing was always like, okay, but there's no lineup of super hitting bands. Yeah, oh, there's okay. It was always, yeah, that was my question. But there are. I mean, like, you know, most of the bigger stars are EDM stars. I will acknowledge that.
Starting point is 00:40:29 But it's not like a lineup. Like you pay and you go. Marshmeller out there? Huh? Marshmeller? Was he out there? Marshmellar. I don't think he hits for them.
Starting point is 00:40:38 What? He might, though. He may hit real hard for him. I have no idea. The burning ass desert is a tough play. It's a dangerous place for a sentient confection. Now, Mr. Butt. Mr. But one day will play it.
Starting point is 00:40:51 DJ Butte. DJ Butte. DJ But. would do great. But Diplo played this year. You know, I didn't see it.
Starting point is 00:40:57 But like some of the bigger stages, they have enough money to get these people. Is Diplow one of the... Is Diplow? Is Diplow? Probably most famous at this point as a producer
Starting point is 00:41:07 because he's like produced Justin Bieber and a bunch of other people. There were other names that people around me seemed to know, but that I didn't know because I don't listen to a lot of EDM.
Starting point is 00:41:18 But, I mean, DAP punked apparently played there multiple years. back in the day before they were huge. You know, they were big in that community before they were worldwide known. So, you know, there's names you would recognize, but it's just not on the ticket. You know, you kind of find out the week before. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:37 But yeah, I just always, because you know, I went to Bonneroo and loved it, but it's a fucking, you know, it's a marathon. It's like not, it's not easy. Right. I know. But I'm saying, it's like, it'll beat you down even in your fucking 20s. And it was always like, in my head, I was like, but it's worth it. Because, like, I saw fucking Beastie Boys and Public Enemy back to back one night, you know. And then I don't even remember what else, but some other super hitting shit, too.
Starting point is 00:42:05 And it's like, and that's what, it was Beastie Boys, JZ Public Enemy, I think, back to back to back. That's great. It's like, and, uh, that was Jay Z live. Fucking literally may be the best concert I've ever been to in my entire life. Nice. Like, part of that was I didn't have very high expectations for it. Right. Because, like, Jay Z hitched for me, but he wasn't like one of my guys.
Starting point is 00:42:26 But I was like, of course, I'm going to check it out. And, dude, he was fucking unreal. I mean, he was off to church. He had a live band and was just absolutely smashing the whole fucking time. It was really good. Anyway, in my head, it was always like, that's the, like, that's what the tradeoff is. Like, that's what, you know, that's the reward for it or whatever. So when I hear about Burning Man, it was like, yeah, but it's not, it's not a music festival.
Starting point is 00:42:51 they don't have all that going on. So I was always like, well, then what? I don't understand the point of it then. But I feel like I do now after this conversation with you. It's making more sense to me. I mean, it does sound like a good time. Well, it is a good time. There's also just regular bars that serve mimosis.
Starting point is 00:43:10 And there's a bunch of old boys who drive RVs out there and look at titties and fucking have the best week of their life who have a very different experience than me. There are people who only do more like, I think, for the most part, calm, spiritual type shit, which I did some of, but there's workshops. There's, you know, there was one place we went to because it was hot. They served as kombucha and there was misting, it was a misting tent and big fans. You just chill out in there. My buddy Lou, who invited me more of a day guy than a night guy.
Starting point is 00:43:39 He doesn't like EDM or Molly. He goes around to the neighborhood, checks out bars, gets into weird situations, across strangers because the big part of Bernie Man is fucking with people. His favorite thing to do is if somebody's, really dressed up nicely. They call them Sparkle Ponies. It's kind of like the plug-in-play thing where they look down on you if you come for the weekend and spend $8,000 and don't really get the full experience.
Starting point is 00:44:01 If he sees them taking a picture and it's some like really nice camera, in other words, they're doing a thing. It's probably a model who's paid to be there. He just walks up and starts talking to him and pretends to be clueless as to what they're doing. Ask them where they got their shirt, hangs out for a while, starts taking his clothes off. Like people have their own fucking experiences. Like I said, I partied, but I play giant ski box. ball.
Starting point is 00:44:22 There was a put-put thing. How giant? How big were the balls like bowling ball size? The balls were only maybe slightly bigger than normal. The ski ball alley runway was like the size of a small road. It ruled. Nice. How pooping is.
Starting point is 00:44:43 You know, not great. It's porta-potties. They're cleaned every day. They pay it. That's another thing they use your ticket money for is to keep that going. You know what I mean? They clean them every day. People are respectful, way more respectful than Bonaroo because it's rough.
Starting point is 00:44:56 Bono is rough. Boy. Well, it's a very, you know, it's a, oh, God, maybe I sound corny. It's a community and a big part of it's like, hey, clean up after yourself. We don't leave a trace, blah, blah, blah. I'm not saying there wasn't no gross shit. It was just way less than I saw it, Bonarue, way less gross stuff. You know, also we live there.
Starting point is 00:45:16 I think Bonarue people like have their own team. I'm out. It's only three days. and it's like, I'm fucked up, fuck it. But it's like, you're going to be back here tomorrow. Is this really what you want to do? Yeah, exactly. I know that I'm like perfectly middle-aged,
Starting point is 00:45:31 and I say it like right dead in the center because I'm young enough to where hearing everything you just described makes me go, man, that sounds rad. That is so awesome. I could see why that hits for people, but I'm just old enough to go and I'm never going. Like I'm not going to experience that because like that sounds. again, so awesome, but like, I'm fucking worn out just hearing you talk about it.
Starting point is 00:45:54 Well, the other thing I haven't brought up a week, I know that. I'm sure. I may, if I go back. Maybe two, three days, maybe, but ain't no way I can do it all week. If I go back, I'll probably do five. It's hard. You can't experience it all, period. The reason I do five is like, if it gets hot, you know, you're going to be laying down in the
Starting point is 00:46:10 middle of the day anyway. So I would do five just to see enough of it because it's unfathomably big. But the other thing I haven't brought up is the dust. It gets everywhere. Oh, yeah. That ain't out. Everywhere. It's alkaline because it's a lake bed.
Starting point is 00:46:26 That place will be a lake in the spring. Apparently, it's really hard to get off and can be hard on your cars. The only way to get off your skin is vinegar, but vinegar dries you out. That part of it, there's just no way to mentally prepare for. You just kind of got to get over it. So you're just covered in dust and vinegar right now? Oh, no. I mean, I'm clean now.
Starting point is 00:46:47 It don't get up in your butt or anything like that. And it's real fine. It's mostly like it's fine. It falls off of you, but then it just leaves this hazy layer and you just feel kind of dry. Dirty in a weird way. Andy and I are, we're both very high maintenance in our own ways, but we're not very physically high maintenance. So it was fine. But I saw some people like, you know, you'll have days where you'll want to have a meltdown.
Starting point is 00:47:11 That's, that's, again, a huge part of it for me is like, you know, when me and you went to Bonnaroo together, I did let it go for a couple days and just. let myself stank and all that stuff. But like it, about two or three days, if I'd have stayed there one more day, I'd have lost my motherfucking mind. Because I just can't sweating my balls and dirt on me. I did a little bit about Bonnaroo.
Starting point is 00:47:33 I have been doing one from this year. And one thing that I say in there, and it sort of was a realization for me is like a lot of people don't want to go to a music festival because they see pictures and they're like, you just kind of become an animal. But like, that is definitely the appeal for me.
Starting point is 00:47:47 Like that's a feature. Yeah. It used to be. It used to be for me, too, because I'm not, I feel like, unlike you, like, you have those tendencies. That was a huge departure for me, that type of thing. Like, I'm not that type of dude, but I would go to Bonnaroo and be that type of dude for like three or four days, and it really hit for me, you know. Yeah. Well, that's another thing I think about Burning Man.
Starting point is 00:48:11 Just going balls out and getting wild, you know. You can kind of be a different person, and like, that's a big appeal for people. They have names. It's like, oh, it's a ply name. Somebody else has to give it to you, allegedly, but I'm sure people picked their own. And it's like a lot of people, you just meet them as whatever their plight name is
Starting point is 00:48:28 and you don't get to know shit about them outside of that area. And that's why they like it, you know? It's like you can go there and be a different person. Were there like buskers and stuff? Like, dude. No, but take another break. Oh, yeah, you're right. You're right.
Starting point is 00:48:41 And I'm wondering, I'm wondering if we're going to keep doing Burning Man or if we're going to talk at all. about a certain incident that transpired with with Corey. Oh, God. Over the weekend. I mean, we can if you want to. Well, either way, we're going to do whatever we're going to do right after this. All right.
Starting point is 00:49:01 We'll take a break. We'll be right back. Burning Man, I mean, is there any other anything you want to make sure and say or leave us with or whatever? Because I do want to get into what happened to Corey. There's two stories. One, if I tell it, it will totally bomb this podcast. in the sense of we won't get to Corey.
Starting point is 00:49:24 Maybe I'll tell it next week. Maybe I'll never tell it. There's a very wild thing that I experienced, like insanely wild. And then the only thing I'm more wild than the dick sucking hole? Please save that. And then I'll save that. And then maybe I'll save this too, or maybe I'll tell this now so I don't sully it when I tell the other wild story. The temple, we went to the temple.
Starting point is 00:49:46 I didn't know what to expect. It was essentially a memorial. There were other people like leaving things behind. like their, I don't know, something from their old job or they don't want to work there anymore or something like that. You know what I mean? But for the most part, it was pictures of people who have passed. And other than, and this is such a weird comparison.
Starting point is 00:50:07 I'm not comparing it at all. It's just the only thing that's moved me like this. The Holocaust Museum is the only thing that has ever had the same effect on me. And the reason why it was so, I guess, effective is similar to what I was. similar to what I was saying about the camps and the art cars. These are some of the most talented people in the world. So it's not just like a memorial where it was like a picture and it said rest in peace. There were paintings.
Starting point is 00:50:32 There were sculptures. It was a memorial built by at least 70% of people who built it were artists, like very, very fucking probably employed as an artist talented. So you walk in and it's death, but it's also life and joy. It was, I'm kind of a cynical guy. It was so unbelievably moving that I just started crying, almost uncontrollably for about five minutes.
Starting point is 00:51:05 And then I left. And even though I spent maybe five minutes there, I will remember that probably way more than all the buttholes I saw. Did you cry more or less than you did at the Holocaust Museum? I was in eighth grade when I went to the Holocaust Museum, so more, because I didn't cry. I just felt uncomfortable and was like, I don't think I'm going to jack off for two days. Out of respect. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:29 Yeah. I have a buddy that's like, I'm gay in this Holocaust museum. Oh, that's great. What the fuck, man? Well, you know, I told you all before that I didn't even really want to. I was out of pocket. I barely know what's going on. That's right.
Starting point is 00:51:49 that I don't mind talking about it, but I definitely went to wait to them because I didn't want to bring this podcast down because I'm, I mean, I'm, I'm sort of mad. I don't know if a lot of y'all saw, but this weekend, I was, I took part in an event called Top Guy Weekend, and that is Conrad Thompson's podcast empire. He has a thing called Ad Free Shows Network. If you're the, if you pay the most on their Patreon every year, they let, you know, they throw this big event. It's a who's who of wrestling. There's wrestling matches. There are panels. And I, and I was asked to do a panel. They had a show cancel like last minute and they needed to feel like an hour. And so Conrad asked me, is that, do you have any ideas? And I was busy working on some other stuff. So I just kind of pitched out to him. I said, hey, what if like me, you and Cassio get up there and we watch old wrestling promos. And we kind of do play by play on them and maybe we break them down from an entertainer's point of view. And maybe we have like a rotating fourth chair of guests. And he was like, that'd be great. That'd be awesome. Let's do that. And I was like, okay. So we get there and I get to meet Jeff Jarrett for the first time.
Starting point is 00:52:53 Well, I'm sure a lot of our listeners know Jeff Jarrett, Double J, third, second or third generation talent. And I meet him. And he had this idea. He's like, hey, we really need to make that. We need to make that it's the last show of the night. We're going on at midnight. We got to leave them wanting more tomorrow.
Starting point is 00:53:12 And I'm like, well, well, you know, what kind of ideas do you have? And so we ran through a couple. And it was that they were going to play a Jarrett promo. at the end. I was going to shit on it. And he was going to come on stage and slap me. Slap me. He was going to slap me.
Starting point is 00:53:27 So everybody out there that's seeing this on Twitter is talking about, oh, this is a work, this is fun. Yes, it's a goddamn wrestling show. It was staged in the sense that I knew that Jeff Jarrett was going to come up and slap. And I was more than willing to take the slap. That's not what he did? That's not what he, no, that's not what he did. No, that's not what he did.
Starting point is 00:53:49 I am sitting there and I got my cue that was like, hey, I'm going to say this. And I turn around and Jeff Jared is coming at me. And listen, I'm a comedian. I'm used to being in control of my own show and everything.
Starting point is 00:54:09 I almost didn't even see the guitar because my brain was going, I've met this guy. He's hugged me in the back. I've met his wife. And he's going to slap me. And before I could wrap my head around it before I can forget that you haven't seen this dude
Starting point is 00:54:23 there's a video yeah and I'll play it I'll play it right here I can't I don't have the technology I'm not wearing it right now but I'll play it I'll put it in this podcast but the next thing I know I'm on the ground buddy I'm talking straight up a sphaded straight up a exploded an acoustic guitar right over to be. I felt back for the guitar. No guitar deserves that.
Starting point is 00:55:05 So I knew that Jeff, Jeff Jarrett was going to slap me. You didn't know he was going to hit you with that. That right above my fingers. Listen, listen, I make my living with my face. I do,
Starting point is 00:55:15 I'm auditioning every day. This is my fucking life. This right here is the moneymaker. I would never agree to take a guitar to the head. I mean, it could have broke my neck. I'm not trained for that type of thing. And here's what I think.
Starting point is 00:55:29 Dude, the face, the head, like every, Dude, I'm like, right here. By the way, I have my, I'm in my swivel chair. I normally don't have my swivel chair. The reason I'm in my swivel chair is because I can't turn my head to the right right now.
Starting point is 00:55:41 Like I can't physically move my head to the right. My eye over here is a little swelled up. Is this a wrestling thing you're doing to me? Again, no, again, we, listen, I knew that I was going to get slapped. Like, we worked out the angle. I was so fucking happy. I was in the back, me. It was me and Mick Foley, uh, and Jeff Jarrett.
Starting point is 00:56:00 and David Crockett, and I'm in the back, and we're working out this wrestling angle, and I'm like, oh, my God, I'm really a part of something. And here's what I fucking think that Jeff Jarrett did. I think that Jeff Jarrett was just, K-fabing me to my face,
Starting point is 00:56:14 oh, this is going to be great, Corey, you're going to love it. What I think it is is that I'm not one of the boys. Yeah. And he saw me get so excited about this, and he thought, oh, I'm going to show him. Now, okay, fair. Were you being annoying? Well, when we, okay, so the whole gimmick was,
Starting point is 00:56:30 Talking about how much you hit. Okay, yeah, a little bit. And so here's the deal. I was supposed to, I was supposed to insult his wife. And we had worked out how I was supposed to insult his wife. But then she came over and slapped Cassio, which was unplanned.
Starting point is 00:56:47 And that made me mad. So I called her a ring rat whore. Okay? And I guess Jeff, probably what his argument's going to be is, no, I told you I was going to slap you, but you also didn't tell me you were going to call my wife a ring rat whore. You haven't talked to him?
Starting point is 00:57:04 Like, afterwards? No. No, my attorney told me that it wouldn't be good. My attorney, Mike Dawkins, who I've talked to and we discussed litigation because in my opinion, I was assaulted. No, I'm not, I'm not anymore. I don't think I'm going to anymore because I was told like, hey, why don't you just settle this like a man? And I was like, you know what, I am being kind of a bitch right now. Like, fuck suing him.
Starting point is 00:57:26 That's not. How do you settle it like a man in this instance? People forget, people forget, but Jeff Jared, he's tight with Pac-Man Jones, dogs. You'll end up getting shot. Oh, I'm not. I want to go ahead and say right here right now on the podcast, Jeff Jared, if you're listening, he does sue you, I will be your attorney for free. Well, the point is, is that I don't really feel safe because Jeff is only a couple hours away. And like, I know that I've insulted his wife, but again, I thought we were doing a thing.
Starting point is 00:57:55 I thought we were doing a thing. Oh, he was doing a thing. I think that he took liberties with me because I'm not, quote, one of the boys. I think that he thought it was like indoctrinating you. Yeah, yeah, that's what I was going to say. Initiating you, initiate whatever, right of passage. Yeah, I agree with Trey. Like, I hear you that he lives close, but I feel like in his mind, this is fucked up,
Starting point is 00:58:17 but in his mind, that was a positive thing. Like, oh, welcome to wrestling. Well, frankly, I'm more upset at his wife because, like, I get it from his angle. Like, I called his wife. a whore and he attacked me like you know all of us whenever the will smith chris rock thing happened we were like all right i mean i get it like if you if that had happened at a regular party it and he just slapped him everybody been like yeah man don't talk shit you know but like she took liberties on cassio when he had done nothing like she just walks up and slaps him in the face and again
Starting point is 00:58:49 i'm not prepared for this no he no he didn't i called her one after she slapped my friend which i think is justified i don't know i mean we were all about there talking shit, but we had just shit on road dog Jesse James was up there. And I fucking talk shit to him to his face about his promo. But he knew that it fucking sucked. You know what I mean? Like he was, he was like, yeah, whatever was 20 years ago. He knows that I'm a comedian and I was just doing fucking jokes. Like that's the whole point here. It was an act. It was a gimmick. I was just up there telling jokes. And in my opinion, I got hit in the face for telling jokes. And I'll be honest with you, when the whole Chris Rock shit happened, I was maybe a little, uh,
Starting point is 00:59:28 more jaded about everything. I was like, hey, whatever, guys. But now I get it. Like, I was just standing there doing my job. Yeah, I never thought that it would. I never thought I'd be in this position. So, yes, everybody that's saying, oh, it was clearly staged.
Starting point is 00:59:45 It was staged for me to get slapped. Now I get hit over the face with a fucking guitar. And if you don't think it's real, go to my fucking Twitter and look at the blood on the back of my neck. Okay, look at my fucking shoulder. Look at my God. damn shoulder right here. You can't see. It's fucking black and blue. There's just
Starting point is 01:00:02 no way to fake the, I mean, just watch the, I don't, what, how do people think that that was faked? I mean, like, I don't understand it. Guitar pretty clearly explodes on top of the B. Do they think it's faker staged? Extreme level of violence. Well, that stayed like, either way to me. It's like, and that's, of course it was staged. But again, like I said, it was staged for me to get slap in the face. I got to watch this video. I wasn't going to because I don't want to jack off on the podcast, but I got to see this. I'm too hot.
Starting point is 01:00:36 And by the way, I was unconscious. I mean, I loved it. And you want me to prove to you. Do you want me to prove to you how I know I was unconscious? I have bad knees. I famously have bad knees. And if you watch the video, I drop directly to my knees, which is not something that I would have chosen to do.
Starting point is 01:00:54 I would have chosen, I would have chosen a different way to fall. I was unconscious, laying on the floor. Oh, he got a standing ovation. He deserved it too. Yeah, too. Did you just watch it? Yeah, I'm watching it right now. I went to college with a girl named Jess Jarrett and they have the same haircut. Yeah, well, that's really all I feel like saying about it right now because, like I said, I don't intend to sue at this moment, but I have been talking to my attorney Mike Dawkins and I am worried about, you know, I don't know, what's the word, implicating myself on something that maybe I don't know the legal, legal ramifications for.
Starting point is 01:01:33 Well, you'll say something that'll go against what he was going to say in court, and then they'll, you know, they'll have this video up of you. Right. Why are you wearing a highlighter shirt? What does I say? Catapol. Oh, yeah. It's funny, because I think, I think of you every time I wear that shirt.
Starting point is 01:01:50 When I was in New York, I was, I went to Macy's to get like a new outfit to wear on stage, and I saw these Adidas pants that matched my shoes. And then I was like, oh, that shirt over there kind of looks like it matches those pants. And I get over there and it's a like stylized caterpillar, like the shirt our papaws would have worn, but on sale at Macy's for like 50 bucks. And I was like, oh, God damn it. This is Drew's joke. But yeah, it fit me a lot better about 10 pounds ago. I was a little swole up this weekend.
Starting point is 01:02:20 This rules. I've just watched a little smart. I know, right? I'm just watching on Luke. You came through. Yeah. Well, I'm glad. I'm glad that you all think it's so fucking great.
Starting point is 01:02:29 I can't quit watching this. And you know what? I lost a thousand followers on Twitter. So this is the type of fucking world that we live. I lost a thousand. For this? You could sue them for that too, I think. They'd order to gain you followers.
Starting point is 01:02:41 You would think it would. No, no, no, no. People watched me get assaulted and decided that when I needed them most, they're fucking out. Yeah. I had people tweet at me and they said, this is not the quote, this is not the quote content that I follow you for. Yeah. Well, I'm fucking sorry that I got assaulted and you were in it. Yeah, I'm sorry that instead of me sitting in my car screaming at my phone about whatever fucking calls is important to your dumb ass, I was getting assaulted on stage.
Starting point is 01:03:08 I really apologize for that. Yeah. I'll go do an extra abortion rights fucking rant for you. How about that? I agree with you, Corey. I would assume that the people you've garnered over the last two years would love you being the victim. So I really think that I'm surprised by them leaving you. Well, it makes no sense.
Starting point is 01:03:25 And it's not the last that you'll be hearing from me as it pertains to Jeff Jared. It looks like a foal being born when you pop through. Yeah. It looked good. I mean, if nothing else, you got that going for you. I hope that that gives you some, I don't want to say peace. I don't want to downplay what happened. But I hope you understand that it looked good.
Starting point is 01:03:44 It looked at the fall was good. Yeah, that's because I was unconscious. Yeah, I'm saying, good job. Yeah, thank you. Good. I don't want to upset him either because it also hit for me about what are you going to do? Anyway, won't you sing us out if you ain't too concussed. Hey, real quick, it's the people who I went to.
Starting point is 01:04:00 I'm sorry. Real quick, but the people I went to Burnhamen with end up listening because I know some of them said they were going through to see what I said. I want to say thank you to them. Thank you to Pro Pirates. Thank you to Lou. And thank you, yeah, to everybody. It was awesome. And I realized that my experience, probably me describing Burning Man is not what other people feel.
Starting point is 01:04:19 But it hit. Thanks. Well, I thought it was great. And thank you all for listening to the well-read show. love to stick around longer, but we got to go. Tune in next week if you got nothing to do. Fuck you, Jeff, Jared. I really hate you.
Starting point is 01:04:37 Shouldn't say that'll be used in court against you. Well, we'll see. Skew. Excuse.

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