wellRED podcast - #309 - It's All Gravy, Baby!

Episode Date: February 1, 2023

This week Uncle Daddy Drew Drew Dollars hold down the fort with some assistance from DJ DJ Lewis and the funniest of all of them, Carmen Morales!!Come see us this weekend in INDIANAPOLIS!! FEB 2-4 At Heluim Comedy club, the on to Bloomington, MN Feb 9-11... tickets at WellREDcomedy.com!Check out all the podcasts in the extended Skewniverse: Gravy Baby, Puttin On Airs, Weekly SkewsFor bonus stuff from Corey go to PartTimeFunnyMan.comFor Bonus stuff from Trae go to Patreon.com/TraeCrowderLove yall!

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion. Because used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie, I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now, skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people, people across the skewniverse, I should say. Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year? Do you even know? Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery,

getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low mane? Because that's a thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better, and it's called Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions,

monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket Money shows all your expenses in one place, including subscriptions you already forgot about. If you see a subscription, you don't want anymore, Rocket Money will help you cancel it. Their dashboard lays out your whole financial picture, including the due dates for all your bills and the pay days.

In a way that's easier for you to digest, you can even automatically create, custom budgets based on your past spending. Rocket Money's 5 million members have saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscription with members saving up to $740 a year when they use all of the apps. Premium features. I used Rocket Money and realized that I had apparently been paying for two different language learning services that I just wasn't using.

So I was probably like, I should know Spanish. I'll learn Spanish. and I've just been paying to learn Spanish without practicing any Spanish for, you know, pertinent two years now or something like that. Also, a fun one, I'd said it before, but I got an app, lovely little app where you could, you know,

put your friend's faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies. You know, those weren't a little like the Q-ball-looking twin fellas. Yeah, so that was money. What was that a reply gift for? Just when I did something stupid.

Something fat, I think, and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first, but then I quit using it and was still paying for it and forgotten. If it wasn't for Rocket Money, I never would have even figured it out. So shout out to them. They help. If you're money dumb like me, Rocket Money can help.

So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney. dot com slash well read today that's rocket money.com slash well r e d rocketmoney.com slash well read and we thank them for sponsoring this episode of the podcast. They're the. Hey friends, it's your boy Corey Ryan Forster. We're going to be in Indianapolis this weekend.

That's right. Helium Comedy Club February 2nd through the 4th, the well red comedy tour is in Indianapolis. Get your tickets. as always at well-read comedy.com. We've got a lot of dates up there. Some of them is just trade by himself. He's been crushing it out there, selling out everywhere.

We want to pack the room in Indianapolis. I think a couple of the shows are sold out, but you can still get some tickets at well-redcomedy. This weekend, February 2nd through the 4th. And guess what? Next weekend, because we're like, we'd like it to be colder, please. We're going to Bloomington, Minneapolis.

No, Corey. Bloomington, Minnesota. Jesus Christ. It's close to Minneapolis. That's February 9th through the 11th there in Bloomington. Tickets at well-read comedy.com. As always, if you want bonus stuff for me, you can go to part-time funnyman.com, subscribe for $5. It's bonus essays, bonus podcasts, bonus videos. Today I wrote one called, it's called I'm going to become an alpha male.

It's satire. But it's a lot of fun. We have a blast. If you can't afford it, you can just get at me. And I will comp you, no questions asked. Trey is over at patreon.com slash Trey Crowder. And as for Drew, he's got a new podcast called Gravy Baby with him and Carmen Morales and DJ DJ Lewis of Maste in the Butthole fame.

Y'all know him. And speaking to which, this episode of Well Red is a special basically edition of Gravy Baby. I was doing dad stuff, well, pre-dad stuff. I'm not a dad yet, but we had doctors appointments and I had a flight get canceled. stuck in Detroit and Trey it is his wife's birthday so we let Drew Seifus and DJ and Carmen take over the well-read podcast I genuinely have no idea what they talked about because I'm also in a rush and didn't have time to listen so I know you're going to enjoy it Carmen is one of the funniest people on the planet DJ is the funniest human in the entire galaxy and Drew well y'all love

Drew. That's why you're here. You already like it. He's great. This is going to be fun. I'll let them take it away. And remember to come see us. Indianapolis this weekend, February 2nd through 4th, then February 9th through the 11th. We're going to be in Bloomington. Wellredcom. I love y'all so much. Also listen to putting on airs. Okay, enough for me. Shut up, Corey. Bye. They're the... They're the... They're the rednecks. They like cornbread, but sex. They care way too much, but don't give a fun. They're the

They're the Rednecks that makes Some people upset They got three big old Dicks that you can suck Hello there, well-red Nation, it's you boy, uncle, daddy Drew Drew Dollars

I am flying solo today Trey and Corey They're lazy They're unprofessional I don't know what they're doing Nothing important like having live shows or dealing with stuff as it relates to their wife's pregnancy.

I know they're not doing that. They would have told me. What they did tell me, they said, Drew, we can't do the podcast today, but you can do it on your own or with some of your friends because you are the funniest, the most professional. You're the best at Scrabble. I said, all right, that's enough, guys.

You're right. I can do it on my own with some of my friends. As many of you know, I have a new podcast called Grubble. Gravy Baby. What I'm going to do today is have a conversation with my co-hosts on that. You guys know and love both of them. Gravy Baby is available wherever any podcasts are. If you're listening right now, whatever you're listening on, there's about a 99% chance that Gravy Baby's on it. Now look, if you've got some weird, oh, I listen to my podcast on Squibby Doodah.

I'm not going there. I don't know how to do it. I'm not going to do it. Get over yourself. Get a normal thing. join the rest of society and listen to a podcast there. And if hearing that offends you, well, then I'm sorry. I didn't think it was that offensive.

I just was trying to be funny here on this podcast. Today we're going to talk to Carmen Morales and DJ Lewis. We're going to do it separately for a variety of reasons. At the top is that DJ lives sort of in 1973. He's there on a farm. You're going to hear all about that. We're going to have some clips from the show. You're going to enjoy them.

You're going to have a good time. You're going to enjoy these conversations with DJ, who you know as gutter bumpkin, skinny bumpkin, he of Mastin the Butthole Fame from what is probably the funniest well-read episode of all time. And Carmen, you guys know from when Trey and Corey went out of the country and I had to hold it down and I had a co-host with me, Carmen Morales. We get into that a little bit because that's sort of the birth.

of gravy baby turns of us knowing that we can do it before i get into them we tell you guys some things that i got on my heart first and foremost on my heart i want to say rest of peace tyrie nichols i hadn't seen the video i don't plan on watching it i don't think i don't want to spend too much time dwelling on it but i thought it was important to say that the episode you're about to hear was recorded kind of before the video came out so you know, I, I just wanted to say that. I just wanted everyone to know this sort of context because that's such a...

disgusting. There's not another word. It's disgusting. And I feel like everyone listening right now, the well-red nation, is either for major police reform, if not, abolishment and starting over. I feel like everyone listening to somewhere in between,

like on that spectrum. So I'm not going to dwell on it. I'm not. disgusting. I just wanted everyone to know the context though of the interviews that they're about to see. Yeah, that's the first thing on my heart. The second thing on my heart on a much lighter note, much lighter, is that my chiefs are in the Super Bowl again, baby! That's exactly right. I'm so excited and look I know a lot of the well red fans are out there listening right now. You guys are like, oh, I don't care about

sports ball. That's cool. That's That's you're right. Guess what? I do and my team is good. We're back in the Super Bowl. If any Eagles fans are listening, then you can kiss it. I love it. I'm so hype.

I'm just running around my house saying to Andy, Patrick Bahomes is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. And she's like, first of all, stop screaming at me in the kitchen. Second of all, he better not be, you know. And third of all, go brush your teeth. Your breath stinks. And I'm saying, thank you, baby. That's great advice.

I'll take out the trash on my way. I love you. And that's how we do it. That's our relationship. It's none of your guys. It's business, really, if we're honest about it. But we do love the Chiefs here in this household. And she supports my dreams, which right now is a Super Bowl.

And the third thing that's on my heart is that I'm excited about well-read being on the road the next two weekends. I know you're like, oh, way to smoothly put a plug in there. I am putting a plug in here. But I am genuinely excited about it. As you guys have figured out, we're not touring as much together. So it's nice that we have two weekends in a row. I'm so pumped about having two weekends in a row. We're going to be in Indianapolis and then Minneapolis in February.

And that is great. Oh, man, I cannot wait to be in the frozen tundra of Minnesota, February 9th through 11th. People who live in Minneapolis, why? I love the city. I would totally move to Minneapolis if I could move. back south for the winter. I don't know why y'all live there. Honestly, I think

why did you do it to us, entertainers? Did you not think about that? When you or your ancestors moved there, did you not think, one day, someone's going to come here to bring us joy and laughter or music, and they're not going to want to be outside because it's not natural for human beings

to be this cold. I'm having to prepare right now. I'm having to take cold showers and get my psyche. he ready to be in Minneapolis in February. I don't know what's wrong with y'all. I don't know why you want to experience that. It feels like, if you've never been outside in Minnesota in February,

it feels like, you know when you get butthole knives? You've heard Corey talk about those where your taint just hurts. You don't know why your taint just starts hurting. It feels like that on your whole body. It feels like taint pain in all of your skin. So anyway, I'm pumped to be there. We're going to be staying, I mean, playing at the Mall of America. I think we're staying close by and all those hotels connect.

They've got sky bridges so that you don't have to go outside. That's the complete reason why. So people can stay in a hotel and go to the Mall of America and that's their whole experience in Minnesota. And I'm probably going to have that experience myself because it's too cold to live. It's not that I'm mad at you guys. I know this is coming across this passive aggressive. It's genuinely that I don't. understand why you would do that to me personally.

But that aside, that aside, I am very excited to be on the road. So go to willow comedy.com for tickets. I think we added Asheville and Knoxville. If we have it yet, we will soon. That's going to be in May. So get pumped for that. Portland, I know is in April,

one of Andy and I's favorite cities to visit. She will come with me. So you guys can meet her if you're in Portland and you want to. Do it. All right. This whole episode is sponsored by Gravy Baby. It's a combo with me and DJ and then me and Carmen. You guys know them, you love them.

We're also going to play some clips sort of as commercials for the Gravy Baby podcast. And I love you guys. I'll see you out there. Bye. There's a clip of the Gravy Baby podcast. And he lives that way. My friend Ganges the same way. Like, they just don't, at some point, they're like, fuck it.

And it's a genuine fuck it. You guys heard that, right? Her friend, Gangesh. I mean, that's like, Ganges John, yeah. Gantja John? What's Gondja John's deal? He got a 401K? Actually, he probably does.

At first, we have the interview with DJ Lewis. I want to let everybody know that there was a delay between me and DJ. Your boy went through. and he did cut out all the delays. I went through the painstaking work of doing that. You're welcome. But I could not get rid of us talking over each other from time to time. That's just how it is when your boy lives in 1973.

It's still a great interview. Oh, well red fans. It's your buddy, farmer DJ, DJ Lewis. Hello. What's up, gutter bumpkin? How are you? I'm good, man. I've been thinking a lot about, okay, so farming, right?

It's not necessarily like, like, that's like with permaculture, it's not necessarily farming, you know what I'm saying? It's not necessarily the thing like what we're doing is basically like, it's more like, dude, it's almost like composing, you know what I'm saying? Like you're conducting and you're like, and you're like, how do I explain it? Like, you're DJing. You are. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, you're setting up, like, so we like want all our astrid. So we want all our colors to come in. Like, as April comes in, we want, like, all, like, the whites and pinks. And then we want to turn that. Of course, you're greens. And then we want to turn that into, like, yellows and reds. It's almost like you're a conductor, you know what I mean? We want our butterfly alley to be one thing and, like, our permaculture and, like, all that.

stuff to be like, you know, all different, uh, different person. Yeah, it's what you're doing. You're more. And like with permaculture and in, in, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, a same as, like, uh, you know, it's definitely gardening, but it's not farming. Anyway. Would you want me to call you, uh, horticulturist? Or would you like me to call you a composer. Right. Meester. You're a dirt,

dirt DJ. Man, I like it. Ooh, I like it. So, man, I like that. You like it. Mm,

dirt music. Well, let's talk a little bit about what's this old saying back in prison. Go ahead. No, tell me the saying. I think we got a slight delay.

Tell me the saying. Dirt brings dirt. And that's how you make compost. You just put dirt on dirt. And it brings it. man, we do have a delay, and you're gone. You're gone, babe.

Now you're back. Look how beautiful we are. You back. Let's do our best not to comment on the delay. For people keeping up at home, you know, rural internet and urban internet, everything's falling apart, DJ. But you and I do have a podcast with the lovely Carmen Morales. And part of that, as I've already explained to people in the intro,

is just spreading joy. We call it positive vibes for shitty people. or for trash people, I guess it's a nice way to say it. So if you're out there and you're trash, but you want some positive vibes in your life, then you just got to ask yourself, what's gravy, baby? And I think you've already touched on it.

But right now, I'm going to ask you, put you on the spot. DJ, what's gravy, baby? Yeah, yeah, man, messing with the dirt, man, messing with nature, man, finding my balance in it, you know, and I'm trying to, like, I'm definitely trying to reflect. I'm trying to clean my body and I'm trying to like be part of it and find that balance in it. It's been really neat like coming off on tobacco and nicotine and like having these like crazy urges and like being like realized that like I'm triggering myself a lot and like I'm doing as an addict would.

It's like I'm trying to give myself excuses and like but I'm learning to deal with that. And I'm like being able to like find all these contrast and in contradictions. in my own nature and in the nature around me. And it's really, it's been really interesting, it's talking about finding the nature that's around you, you know, how different it is when you start to recognize what, like, the trees that are around you, like, what are maples? What is the ash?

What is the, you know what I'm saying? We start recognizing, like, what type of dirt is like, even with worms, like my vermiculture, It's so interesting to know all the different types of worm, the epigheic and the endogeneic and like all these different types of bacteria and stuff. And like it's being a part of living the symbiotic relationship and really living it. And that's great. But it's the worm daddy. Ha ha, yeah.

It's so nice to hear you, I guess, speak so excitedly. about it all. I feel like, um, I feel like nature is one of those things. It's like working out or eating well or I don't know. There's numerous things that we all kind of know are good for us that it's important to have in our lives. Anyone we would hear you, especially you being so lackable, say, yeah, just knowing what the trees are changes your perspective and you're trying to get in the symbiotic relationship. But that's definitely a category of thing in our culture where you've just seen and heard so many awful people talk about it that like sometimes I don't know if anybody identifies with this but like sometimes I don't want to be a workout

bro so I'm like I'm not going to work out and like you see like Instagram people with like perfect lighting in their house talking about and the plants will set you free and you're so averse to like that the cotton I guess commodification and the I don't know Instagramization of stuff I don't know if anybody identifies with that, but I certainly have like this, like, sometimes I overreact to things I don't like where I genuinely feel like seeing annoying people hike makes me hike less. Like, I definitely need to go to therapy for that, but like seeing annoying people work out makes me want to work out less. Hearing some dumbass talk about how they've been eating clean makes me want to go to McDonald's,

but it's not healthy and I don't know. It's just really nice to hear you talk about being in nature and farming because it makes me want to do it instead of, you know, not want to do it. Yeah, man, you know, that's the whole thing also with, like, I think that that's one thing that's also with, like, Instagram culture is that, like, you basically cannot trust any of those people. Like, you just, like, whatever's on the internet, just, like, don't trust them. I mean, if we, what have we learned from the emu girl and from, like, dude, like,

anytime I see, like, a farmer, like, anybody who's, like, projecting, like, being on these big machines and, like, tearing up the earth, like, all this diesel stuff and like trying to tell you anything about like living right you're like dude man go fucking die dude you know what i'm saying like and yeah we want to raise like livestock we'll not go die you know what i mean but like yeah maybe like don't talk as much you know what i'm saying or like i understand this i understand this message that you're putting on in your but like also like with pharma and now it's like and you see somebody on this big john deer traction and you realize like oh my god dude like john deer has become like super evil and like whatever like this is like this is all

just paid promotional stuff for for for consumerism like this has i did not know that john deer was evil no yeah dude yeah yeah yeah man they they they've just said about doing like dude they're buying up like all kind of patents and you know you can't fix the john deer uh you have to like go to the company can't do your own parts like you have to buy parts from them and stuff Like, dude, it's really, it's really getting bad. When we all, like, end up in the gulog, we'll be wearing fucking John Deere exoskeleton. So when we work in the fucking field all day, dude, it'll be John Deere fucking, oh, dude, it's going to be rad. Can't wait.

Can't wait to be a robot. That's what people need to be talking about. Everyone's afraid the robots are going to take our jobs. The robots are going to make us able to do and force us to do our jobs for 16 hours a day. Surely, yeah. Oh, that's why I don't really. If you're lucky 16 hours, yeah. Yeah.

I don't worry about it. Oh, dude, run it up, baby. Well, everyone, listen, I assure you that this type of nihilistic doomsday mentality is not what Gravy Baby is about. That is what End of the Obisket was about. But DJ and I have turned a corner. We do a great job on the new podcast of not diving into our own existential habits. And the reason we do that is because we have Carmen there to keep us in. line to go, hey, you know, gal, you guys are like, hey, run up credit because nothing matters.

Well, once you decide nothing matters, then you can stop talking about it all the goddamn time, you idiots. Yeah, yeah, she's definitely, she's, she's, she's definitely, uh, brightened up all that. It's really great having that third, like, just that, huh? go ahead buddy listen don't you stop for a noise for me because that's one thing about a delay you just push on through all right all right I got it man it's just it's just great to have like like someone so so so like

authoritative in there and they're like I don't know I don't know how how do you explain Carmen how do you know what I mean like how like how do you like huh Daddy? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. No, yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. But a nurturing one.

Like, very nurturing. She's like, oh, you're a fucking idiot. It's fine. You know what I'm saying? Just stop being a fucking idiot. Yeah. I feel bad saying this. I feel bad saying this when she's not around.

Even though it's not, even though it's not at all an insult, I feel bad saying it a little bit. But I feel like Carmen reminds me of the coolest lesbians I've hung out with. Where the coolest lesbians I've hung out with remind me of my uncles in that they'll like help me fix my car and make fun of me for not being prepared. Like you didn't bring a jacket. Did you not know it was going to be cold? You're fucking idiot. But unlike my uncles, they won't continue to berate me for the next 20 minutes. Right, right.

Right. Yeah, yeah, man, people are fucking cool, man. It's cool. They are. It's great. Well, tell me about, this is a change, a little bit of a change, but it's going back a little bit to the symbiosis. Tell me a little bit about the seasons, man, because I feel like, you know, you were up in the Great White North. It was winter, winter, winter, no chicken dinner.

And then you, you know, you moved back to the south, but, you know, fall winter now spring's coming are you more in tune with that now that you're outside or are you somebody who's always kind of been in tune with that stuff dude how can anybody be in tune with it like it's january it's 65 degrees it was 65 degrees you know what i'm saying like there's no more there's no it's like dude i don't know what the fuck's going on man it was like freezing for a little bit and it's been really hard like it's dude it's i don't see how anybody's calling it or how anybody, dude, you just throw a fucking farmer's almanac to fuck away. Like, I don't even know how people are in any way, like, prepared or like, I don't feel,

I mean, I'm sure, I'm sure, like, yeah, sure when, when, when this isn't a Minnesota winter. I don't know what kind of winter this is. This has just been a warm, it's been an unseasonably warm, wet, motherfucker. It's rained almost every fucking day. It's been a just sloppy, fucking, I don't, I don't. even know how to call it. I don't know how to call it. Sloppy winter.

Y'all been getting that fucking rain. Yeah, y'all been getting that fucking rain, cause. It's been such a sloppy winter here. Dude, we have fucking many, many leaks in our roof. It's rained like probably 90% of the days since I've been back after Christmas. And I think it's good for the region overall. But it's disconcerting because it's like, yeah, but like,

this is a plus some game. If we're getting all this rain here, something's weird. because I basically live in a desert. Like, I live in the valley across the mountain from L.A. and, like, it's a desert over here, but it hasn't been lately. And, like, you know, there's obviously positive ways to look at it, and that's what I've been trying to make myself do. It is good for this region, and Andy is excited because the poppy explosion

is probably going to be the biggest it's ever been. For people who don't know, just north of Los Angeles, there's all these poppy fields. And when there's a big rain season, like entire mountains turn orange with flowers. So it really, that kind of thing is obviously truly beautiful and blah, blah, blah. But it's disconcerting, you know. I mean, my roof is old and wasn't ready for that. It's like I've probably had holes in my roof for a decade and just no one noticed until this last month and a half. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, man. I mean, dude, it's a fucking dude. Between the like all the rain, like when the frost came, when the freeze came. And then like, dude, fucking knowing, if you had any type of plumbers got rich. You know what happened. Everybody's pipes burst and everybody got flooded. And like there was no like all the way from Asheville to fucking Athens.

There was fucking like everybody was just fucked for ever. You know what I'm saying? We had friends with frozen pipes in Athens. We had friends with frozen pipes in Asheville. It's wild to think about who and what industries are going to take advantage. of global warming. That's what me and you need to do, DJ. We need to start a business.

I don't know what it be, you know, like, we'll cut the sleeves out your t-shirts for you. You know, something better than that. But, like, as things warm up, what can we do? I think, well, definitely getting, understanding plumbing is going to be really fucking important. I think, fucking, dude, this is, like, the time. This is the time right now to, like,

be able to know where your water fucking shuts off at and, like, how fucking pipes are connected. It's really interesting. You know, your fucking hot water, where it comes from, how it works, dude.

It's really important. Like, I think, you know, yeah, it's, it's the time to, uh,

to that whole thing. You definitely make money out of. I worked as a plumber. Just collecting water. Hell, selling water. Yeah. Yeah,

for sure. Collecting selling water. That's great. The water war is going to be a lot of fun to find in. Um, I definitely, I worked as a plumber. for a summer and I feel like doing plumbing like the beginning stages is on most houses

relatively simple. It's pretty basic stuff. Shit flows downhill. This is how you connect it. This is where the shutoff is, et cetera, et cetera. However, fixing plumbing once it has fucked up has got to be one of the most fucking bullshit mangled, horrible, awful fucking jobs. And you're cold, you're dirty.

sometimes there's literal shit falling on you and you're having to crawl around other plastic pipes that you can't break. And, you know, let's be honest, nine times out of ten, you're a big boy. Most plumbers are big boys. You don't fit under there, dude.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, all that, all that. It's, yeah, being able to do that, being able to just, so I guess what's preventative, preventative is what you want to get to you want to get into the preventative business. Like, you know, fucking, hey, look, man, I can guarantee, I can figure out, you know, guarantee you how to make sure your pipes on bust. I can, you know what I mean, going to your house and I can tie them all in a night, tie all your shit in a night.

You just press your pipes in a knot. I don't know what we'll do. We'll include Nessie the goat. I don't know exactly how to do that. We'll get Nessie the goat in on it. Yeah, we'll figure it out. We'll get Nessie the goat to. eat foam and then shit it out,

shit out a special kind of foam and we'll use her poop as insulation for pipes. Man, dude, dude, she's for her fucking poop, man, dude. I'm, dude, listen, man, I'm cashing in on the goat poop business, dude. So, like, yeah, man, I might get her, like, if I get her room in this part. Yeah, dude, I am, man. I mean, I am, man. Well, tell me more about that.

I don't know what you mean. Like, for fertilizer? Turn it. Yeah, for fertilizer, man. I mean, that's part of my, you know, so what we do is like, so she uses a litter box, right? She's an indoor goat. She uses a litter box. What we do is, you know, all compost is basically like, you know, whatever part is nitrogen, whatever part is carbon, depending on what you're doing.

You know what I'm saying? And goat poop is actually, in most formiculture, especially in like really arid places. Like, they use it a lot. You know what I'm saying? Like to help the ground and like, because that's one of the things you definitely want to do. like any time that you're you're working with the with the earth and that's the way another thing that's so different about farm than farming is that you know you're you're definitely into like a self-sustaining but also you're wanting to heal the ground and where it's been you know I'm saying trampling on whatever whatever whatever whatever and in places where like they don't have a lot of where the dirt's really dry they use a lot of goat poop with with worms to like make you know create a compost and soil and it heals the soil up like of the squad. So like that's so what we're doing is we're starting with like a few pine pellets, a little bit of cedar, some some hay straw and that's in her litter box. So whenever she's

all right she's going in there. She's adding the the poop to it that then gets broke down. We break that down into the vermiculture with the vermicompost with the worms right after about 90 to 120 days. They break all that down. And we sift that, put that into the garden beds. And it's super high rich. They call black gold. It's super high rich high. Like, dude, man, when I finally get my patent on my worm farm bins, dude, I'm going to be down in Asheville,

swint slinging fucking ghost shit on these motherfuckers. They don't even know what's about to happen to them. I don't have a worm bin full of like good vibe, noony poop. I get my good vibe. Yeah, yeah, yeah, baby. And so about, dude, some worms, dog. Like, go ahead. You drop your compost down.

this fucking worm bin right here. It's going to break down. I'm going to show you how to make fucking a verma wash, your own vorma culture right there in your apartment, do you throw some lettuce and some goddamn eggshells in there. Them of fucking worms are going to get huge.

They can live up to four years. Get up to like six foot long. Dog. You have your own fucking pet worms. The worm daddy. Dude, here's what I want. I want a skinny bumpkin to make a comeback for one album,

one album, a trap album, instead of slinging drugs, You're slinging poop and worms. I'm down here in the goat poop poop trap. Yo, yeah, man. Yo, we got undercut any kind of compost. You can't get me, man. Like, I might not be able to sell you like a whole bunch of it,

but enough for like your indoor plants. And if, man, maybe you want some indoor vegetables. Man, you'd be able to grow it high density, like very rich. Yeah, man. I can't wait to eat a carrot that I grow. I can't wait to eat a carrot that I grow from DJ Lewis, worm food goat poop. I cannot wait to eat the DJ.

Louis Worm Daddy carrots. I'm going to let you go, my friend. You know I love you so much. If you guys want to know more about what's Gravy Baby, listen to us. Gravy Baby podcast, you can find us wherever you find podcasts. If you don't know by now, you're not going to figure it out. Like if you haven't figured out how podcasts work, don't try now. Well, how are you even listening to this one?

If you're on that app, you can do it with Gravy Baby too. And if you're not listening to this one, obviously I'm not talking to you. why do I feel like I'm going insane all the time? Who knows? But Gravy Baby with DJ Lewis and Carmen Morales is available everywhere. As always, we appreciate you, my man. I think you're going to be with Well Red in Asheville, North Carolina this summer. I feel like we've confirmed that.

For those of you you do not know, though, Well Red will be in Indian. I don't know why I'm plugging them now. I've already plugged these in the intro. Why am I making you sit here for this? Nobody wants this. What am I doing? I was doing so good and I fell apart at the end, DJ. Thank you for being with me, Baby.

love you. This is a clip of the Gravy Baby podcast. Mama Dean, Geraldine, said one time about my cousin. She'd fuck a far aunt if she could get one to hold still. And my cousin was in the room. Andy asked her if she wanted to get another boyfriend after my papa died, and she said, I wouldn't get one of them, even if he had a golden pecker. Bad bitch, dude.

Bad bitch. You could stick a whole rib eye in one of your back pockets. Hey, Carmen. Oh, hi, Drew. Welcome to well red and the. my living room slash kitchen. Thanks for having me. Yeah.

A long time listener, a long time, a guest. Yeah. This is Will Redbeard. That's what I called that when we did that for a month. That was fun.

That was fun. You know what that led to? What? Us having our own podcast? Called gravy baby. Gravy, baby. And, you know,

I've already explained it with DJ. But let's talk about it. Why do we do it? What's our deal? Well, I mean, if I'm being honest, I've been on a lot of podcasts and I usually get tired of it, but I haven't gotten tired of it. And that's nice.

You know, it's nice to be able to have conversations that go in all different directions. But I think the, I mean, the crux of it is that we're trash people, very negative people that are inherently trying to be positive and trying to think of like. Yeah. Yeah. Without being annoying. Yeah. It's kind of like a positive nihilism. None of this matters.

We're all going to die. You might as well try. You know, I think that we're onto something, at least for ourselves, because DJ and I separately had an interview, and we arrived at the same basic thing that you just opened with. Oh, okay. That's funny because none of us have talked about it at all. We didn't organize it anyway, so even that.

Well, I based it around your phrase where you reversed positive toxic. No, I keep saying it correctly. There's toxic positivity where people will ostrich, in the sand, everything's great. And it's really not for the whole thing's burning. And it's just like, you got to be positive and stay positive all the time, which is also inhuman, considering we think, 51% negative. So it's just, but it's trying. It's trying to keep it only at 51%. And the effort and the grind of that, which is much like the grind of everything that we've tried to do, make people laugh for a living. It's like it's a very similar, in parallel a grind with like trying to

be like a happy adult. And so it's conversations that lead us through that, I think. So instead of like, instead of toxic positivity, it's positive toxicity. And like, I've definitely been a toxic person. And I'm certain you have. We've all been through those phases and still trying to, you know, trying to be better from that and trying to not revert back to that. In what ways have you been toxic?

I mean, I'm not going to out myself. Oh, my bad. I didn't know. We'll leave that for the Patriots. Patreon.com. If you guys want to know the kind of pieces of shit I am specifically. But, you know, I went through a married guy phase. And I, you know, I've done a lot of like questionable.

Yeah, questionable morally, the things I'm not proud of, et cetera, et cetera. And I just try to, you know, make up for it. There is a weird thing with the internet culture where they try to turn things that used to be negative into positive. And sometimes it's good, you know, like, uh, like the slut shaming, the anti-slop shaming movement. It's like, this used to be negative. Let's kind of take it back. But then like, you know, people were like, I'm in my ho face.

And I'm like, I don't know. And you can, maybe you can help me out. In my too old school that I go, okay, I'm fine with that because I'm a very progressive guy. I don't know if we should be just announcing it like that. That makes it feel a little like, I don't know what, like we're celebrating. Am I? Is it, do I still just have Christianity inside me?

I mean, that might be it. That might be Jesus talking for sure. But I think at the end of the day, it's like, HOFES is just the quickest way to be like, my DMs are open also, you know? It's a way to advertise without having to, you know, because for instance, like I'm a very assertive lady, so the dudes that are in my DMs are very polite.

It's like, I hope this dick pick finds you well. You know, like, they're very respectful. And if I was like, I'm in my HOFACE, then maybe they wouldn't be so. Yes It is my greatest hope That this penis is up to your standard Should it not be, feel free to delete me

I shall not take it personally Yours truly Yeah And they wrote it all in cursive somehow They figured out the coding to write it in cursive Yeah, that's cute But yeah I think it's just And it's just the you know

Like my friend My friend Kisida is going through a whole phase right now Because she just got divorced So she's having new dick for the first time in almost a decade. Oh, new dick's got to be good. You know? And at least because it's just new. It's just new.

Oh, look at it. Look at it curves the other way. You know, even just like, just exciting in its simplicity. It's not necessarily that it's good, but it's good that it's new. Yeah. You know, especially if you were unhappy with the old one. So you just synthesize how most men think generally, I think. Women don't seem to understand cheating.

Like this conversation surrounding Miley Cyrus, her new son. out phenomenal by the video so hot and Liam Hinsworth cheated on her like that's the thing and like the PR people at the time tried to make it about her but over time everyone's kind of realized this dude was like just running train on you know Hollywood sluts while he was supposed to be getting engaged to her right and people women are like why do cheat why do he cheat because he's a cheater yeah like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like oh but myelie this might it has nothing to do with who you're with when you're a man and a cheater it's it's new it's no pussy yeah It's the not knowing.

I think, I mean, I think I'm not defending it by any means because I'm, I'm not either. I'm not defending it. But I do think that there is something genetic, inherent with like, because your purpose is to spread seed. And like we, you know, we only have X amount of eggs that we get. And then we lose one every month, you know? And then so then that's why it's like it's harder and harder for you to get pregnant as you get older because you have less fucking eggs, period. And so you have a countless, I mean, if I just fucking sperm factory, never ending supply, never going out of business. The olive garden of sperm.

The opposite. So like ours is inherently a little bit more precious. Whether you choose to live that way or not, that's also something, you know, we're also adults. But I do think there's something, there is something like inherent word just like it would be cool to come on everyone. But have said, I've also been a person that has cheated. again, if we're going to talk about things that I'm not proud of. And for me, it was always an emotional thing. It was I felt unloved where I was. And so then someone made me feel loved someplace else.

And I think cheating for dudes is usually way more physical. I mean, you know, I'm making broad strokes here. There's probably a lot of women that, like me, I have high testosterone too. So new dick in general, even when I'm in love, just seems cool. So I do think, I mean, I don't want to blame it all on a chemical, but testosterone. definitely has something to do with it. Well, yeah, I think that there are probably many different reasons of men cheat. I think from the few things I've read from sex workers who have clientele who are married men,

they find out there's many reasons they may do it. I was simply trying to say that this whole thing that's going on right now with, she's such an amazing hot woman. It's like, that has nothing to do. I was on a podcast about cheating. And one of the things they asked is, would you rather have somebody cheat on you with, It was called a hot or not cheat. Like, would you rather have somebody cheat on you?

That was hotter or that was noter, like just a cooler. And I was like hotter because hotter makes sense to me. Yeah. Right. Whereas like, but that the other thing too is you're not remembering the context of we live in a city that is unlike any other city in the world. And in this particular regard where pussy is treated like a commodity here. And it's like we are literally living in a. rap song where it's just like where are you talking about like and it's just like what people I watch it

dudes get money and then they start looking at women differently um and um I think there's something to be said about that when when you have when you have everything in the world you have all the money and then you have women that are surrounding you that are like want to hang out with you just because you have money you start treating them the way that you know and it's not none of it's healthy right all of It's predatory on both sides. If you throw fame on top of it. That's what I mean. Yeah, that goes along with it.

Money and fame. So there's not famous dudes that are doing it. And then there's famous dudes that are doing it. And then if you're a famous person who has a famous partner, then yeah, then it goes with scrutiny. Folks, these are the kinds of opinions, Carmen, out of her heart. I don't know. I'm just trying to understand it. Like here's the thing is like how I feel about any of this shit.

I don't ever usually say. I just want to understand it. Same. Yeah. I think that's all I want from an audience too when I'm doing a joke. It's like, I don't want you to agree with me, but if you laugh, I know you understood me. You know what I mean? Going back a little bit, the only person I've ever heard speak on what you said, I think it's very interesting about the biology of that. Oh my God, don't see Jordan Peterson or something like that. Jesus Christ. Well, I was going to say other than comedians and blowhards and like creepy dudes. So we're like, you know, the biology of it is that this is all natural. There's a guy who wrote a book called, where you've also evolved, you know, yeah, yeah.

There's a guy who wrote a book called Sex at Dawn. And I guess our closest relative is bonobos. And then he also studied, like, humans before we, you know, became super monogamous. And he said something similar, like slightly more nuanced, because it's the academic world. It's something very similar to what you said. It's why so many primates have a group of women that they're protected. And he also was talking about how like it's not really normal to have sex with strangers at all. Yeah.

Like going back to our ancestors, but it is normal to have more than one sexual partner. And he was saying, like there's this theory out there. I think this is so interesting. And we're about to get like really into it. But this is also what happens. One of the reasons potentially that women moan is to attract more partners because when they're ovulating and turned on and ready for sex, they're going to get pregnant. as possible to get pregnant.

So get pregnant. And that that's like the time, like in that exact moment when horny would be women, when women would be more open to more partners. Not before that necessarily, but in that moment. When they're ovulating. Like, right. Whereas when you were pointing out with men, it is a constant biological desire to come in nearly everything.

Yeah. Which is why a 13 year old boy, wherever he lives, is covered in come. Yes. It's also why you hear a lot of men around my age, talk about how like, Yeah, man, being horny was cool. Getting over it. Starting to like wait for that day.

You just wake up and it's not cool. In their 50s and stuff, they don't care about it anymore because their sperm is not. And they're happy that they don't care about it. Well, yeah, I don't have to think about it anymore. It's nice. It's nice. I can just focus on my projects, my fucking connect set or whatever the fuck they're doing. You know, organizing their DVDs.

They're in their 50s. DVDs back in the day, we're a disc of media. if you have any young folks listening. Yeah, there's one horny young folk out there, organized with his DVDs by like breast size. He's like, I'm doing that now. That's the guy that was like,

it was like that scene in fucking knocked up where they have, they have like, he knows every time stamp of every time any woman has ever gotten naked. Yeah. The titty timestamp. That reminds me of something that you, not one of the guys brought up on Gravy Baby, that you guys should go subscribe, like,

and follow right now. And if you're listening to Well-read, whatever you're listening to it on, we're on that platform. I'm 99% sure that's true. Cool. Yeah. Well, you said it confidently. Well, I said it. And then I was like, I bet there's a new one.

Then you can always email us and let us know or wrong or DM us on Instagram at Cravey BabyPod. Gravy Baby pod at Gmail. What the fuck was I saying? Oh, you were talking about porn, just like rehashing old scenes. It's like a scene they've used before, but now they're claiming the two actors are stepbrothers. Yeah, like they just changed the title of it. Yeah. But they're just using a saying that that did well.

Yeah. All right, this did well when we said it was two college students. See if it does what we say. They're stepbrother, step sister. It's just, yeah, and I get it. And it's just like, a lot of times, well, I mean, all of those, all of those descriptions and tags are always so wild to me because it's like, it's like two women that look like their exact same age.

And it's just like a mommy daughter. And it's just because like one of them has bigger tits than the other one. And the other one has like no tits. Yeah. And it's just like, all right, well, this seems. I don't want to get into the psychology of how they casted those actions. None of it's fun. Yeah, no, no, it's not.

It's all predatory. But again, I think it's also just in trying to keep it fresh. Like if they don't have enough content, they're just like, let's rehash some old shit. Yeah. Well, another thing I like about gravy baby is that, and I talked about this when I interviewed DJ for Well Red. DJ and I dove in an nihilism with no joy. six minutes into that interview. And I was like,

oh, fuck, we're back into the abisket. And I was like, well, that's the great thing about gravy baby is that you are this nice. I think it's like a check, but it's like the perfect kind of check because you're so logical. It's like, hey, guys, if we have decided that everything sucks and nothing matters, then why the fuck do we keep talking about it? Let's go do something fun.

If this is it, if this is the end, if nothing matters, then why not enjoy it? Why not have ourselves a little bit of fun? Because that was the whole thing is if Stano doesn't work out, I was going to be a demotivational speaker, and that was going to be my platform is, eh, why not? Unmotivated.

Yeah. Who would that be for? Let's talk about who needs it and then who would pay for it. Well, I think, I don't know if it would be a demotivational speaker, because if the platform is, we're all going to die, you might as well try. Then that's still motivating. It's just motivating under the umbrella of not.

giving a fuck it's nihilistic motivation yes that's what I'm seeing but whereas demotivational speakers um mostly mainly motivational speakers need to be demotivated because you if you have all this time you're it's because they're all unemployed uh-huh so you have all of this time to juice yourself up to do everything that's another man that's so funny how thematically we're so similar to the conversation DJ and I were having. Oh, no, I'm sorry. No, it's good. It's so good because you're talking about different topics,

just similar themes. He was talking about farming, and I was listening to him. He was talking about symbiotic relationship with the earth and how he's starting to get into that with his worms. And it was really cool, but I was like, man, it's so funny because usually I hear people talk like this on the internet.

And I just shut down because they're fucking annoying. Yeah. And it's funny how many things I shut down from, and I don't know if you identify with this, because of who's presenting it to me. Oh, all the time. Like working out people are annoying, spiritual people.

on Instagram or annoying like all these people who are presenting these things to be are ignoring but I let it get to me to the point where I'll be like yeah fucking working out stupid it's like no it's not that guy's stupid yes that guy is stupid that what he's saying it doesn't mean it's it's just like you know the Grateful Dead might be amazing but oh my God are their fans annoying right doesn't make the product any any less yeah it's if anything the people that like it that like some of the things like there's like some cool things that I learned from like Siddhartha you know different different um I don't want to get into that.

That's going to take too long. Yeah, but it's like... Andy will be proud of me that I knew that. Nice. Congratulations. But I think if... I think it was a Taoist. Okay. But if...

But there's a lot of people that get into stuff like that. Or actually, you know, the no one is ICA guy, is a really big one right now. Which is a premise about like... It's a book about the people that live the longest in all the world and in different parts. they all the theme between them is they live with purpose what is your purpose and um and there's also been legothopy i don't know how to say it or logo therapy but i think it's legothopy which is like it's instead of the traditional therapy that we use now is identifying going through your past identifying identifying picking it out understanding it and um this is logothopy is a type of therapy where it's

purpose based so like for instance this guy he loses his wife uh He doesn't want to do anything anymore. He's depressed, all the stuff. So you could go through and dig through your whole past. Why do you feel this way? Is it because your relationship with your mom? Is that why you have a weird relationship with this death? You can't let this death go, blah, blah, blah.

But if he finds purpose in his life, then he will more inherently be likely to get over this. So it's like, it's just a different approach. But it's a really, so Ikega guy is basically helping you find your purpose. What you're good at, what you're good at, what you're here for and what you do well what you do well what you do for money and what you what fulfills you you and finding your place in the middle of that Venn diagram that gives you something that makes you feel worth a shit. Yeah.

Yeah. I think I've seen a lot of people talk about how for parents, you know, the kids kind of become their purpose, which is great and beautiful. But eventually, if you do it correctly, the goal I think, the goal for most parents is that the kids no longer need them. Right. So now your purpose is gone. So there's like a real depression there. It's like that part of the emptiness syndrome. That's part of it.

It's like, oh, I've given up my sense of self to provide. But that's also something that you need to remember when you're being a parent. You are an individual. You are a partner in a relationship. And you are a parent. Those are all three roles that you have to take on, which is why you never have time for anything else. And then retirement is the other time that people struggle with that. Because they felt like they had a purpose and then they retire.

And it's like, you know, worthless now or whatever. Right. I'm no longer contributing to society. Yeah. And I think if you, if you find something before you stop working that fulfills you, I mean, it's the same reason why like, you know, like those, he was an anthropologist for the, and then he retires and then he just travels the world and so looks at anthrop, you know what I'm saying? Like, as long as you can still, right, right, you just do it for the joy of it. Yeah, finding a thing that even, or maybe that hobby that you super, maybe have to work. a different job than something that you're passionate about, finding something that you're passionate about to occupy your time, any spare time that you do have. So then when you have more of it, you can do it for more and feel fulfilled still.

I met a guy this weekend who was talking about his neighbor. He was an 80-year-old retired guy who was in the military for years. And then I think was a teacher after that. And his favorite pastime, he's like 80 years old. He works out. He says that he has like an 8-pack as an 80-year-old, but it's like curved because his stomach. like the band in his stomach is too old to hold his muscles together.

So he has a round A-pack and his favorite pastime. Oh my gosh, dude, like one of those hams that has the little strings around. He's going on there like, oh, my God, how cute. And he says his favorite pastime. He's like, he still works out every day. He goes down to the ocean. He has his friends, but his favorite thing to do on his own is trolling conservatives on Facebook.

Hell yeah. He's like he likes to find the place where they're trying to talk about vets. He talks about how he's a vet, gets them going and then hits them with something that piss them off. And I've never heard of anyone living their life on Facebook and it making me happy until now. It was like a good lesson for me too. But that's just that's this dude's purpose. And his wife passed away.

It's like, what am I going to do now that she's gone? I can't bust her balls? Whose balls can I bust? Let me get on the internet. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I do love aggravating someone I'm with. So maybe that till I'm dead for sure.

Well, speaking of things till you're doing. dead. Carmen caused a lot of controversy on the latest episode of Gravy Baby talking about who she wants to be with and how she picks them based upon at least one criteria is how they might die. How I think they'll die. Yeah. And I'm not going to give anything else the way. If you want to hear more about that.

But we definitely got a lot of feedback about it. I guess people didn't know I was joking. Well. Or was I? I mean. Or was I? Yeah. Yeah.

It could be that she was kidding. It could be that she has a personality disorder. Either way, shame on you people for judging Carmen. Yeah, stop beating up the mentally ill. That's great. We're ending it there. Thanks. Appreciate you, Carmen.

Thank you for having me. Well-read fans, I've probably plugged these dates a million times. Oh, if you came out to the Trey Crowder Show in Los Angeles and saw me open, thank you. Yeah, if you were at the Trey Crowder Show in Los Angeles, Carmen was open. If you're not watching, you're just listening. Go look her up. If you're like, oh, who was that?

But I forgot her name or I forgot to go look her up at The Funny Carmen. The Funny Carmen. You can also watch my special on HBO Max. Ooh, it's great. It's truly great. All right. We're ending it now. Bye.

That reminds me either way of a segment that's now going to be recurring. Helen Mirren, call me. I love you, Helen Mirren. I want you. I need you. I could satisfy you. I'm old enough to know what I'm doing. Man, you are really confident.

You know how many people that lady has fucked? sure but I'm old enough to know what I'm doing and then young enough to get it done I'm not saying I'll be better than every man she's ever had I'm just saying I can do it okay I'm a fucking I'm a Toyota Tacoma oh okay

I'll get it done okay okay yeah yeah and I have some style yeah it's not bad yeah there's room in the back you know what I mean it's not a full size truck but there's room in the back I'm fine yeah Please go to patreon.com slash gravybaby and subscribe.

And subscribe and become a patron so that we can get this porn made. Hell yeah, Carmen, get that porn made baby, you boy the champ, support you. Remember well-redcomedy.com, Indianapolis this weekend, Bloomington next weekend. Wellredcomedy.com for all those tickets, Patreon.com slash Treycrouter, part-time funnyman.com. And you need to check out Gravy Baby and putting on airs. The skewniverse is expanding, my friend. friends love you bye