wellRED podcast - #313 - No one has been canceled like Fatty Arbuckle!

Episode Date: March 8, 2023

The boys are back together this week! Topics include JK Rowling, the new Harry Potter video game (and protests against it), Ty Cobb, and Fatty Arbuckle's tragic downfall after bogus allegations were levied against him. TraeCrowder.com for tixPatreon.com/TraeCrowderCheck out our sister podcasts Gravy Baby, Weekly Skews, and Puttin On Airsfor bonus stuff from Corey go to PartTimeFunnyMan.com (you can pay 5 bucks or get it for free, whatever you can afford

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion, because used to you, you like had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie. I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now, skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people, people across the skewniverse, I should say. Do you even know how many subscriptions

that you actively pay for every month or every year? Do you even know? Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery, getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low main? Because that's the thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better

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Premium features. I used Rocket Money and realized that I had apparently been paying for two different language learning services that I just wasn't using. So I was probably like, I should know Spanish. I'll learn Spanish. and I've just been paying to learn Spanish without practicing any Spanish for, you know, pertinent two years now or something like that.

Also, a fun one, I'd said it before, but I got an app, lovely little app where you could, you know, put your friend's faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies. You know, those weren't a little like the Q-ball-looking twin fellas.

Yeah. So that was money. What was that in response to? What was that a reply gift for? Just when I did something stupid. Something fat, I think, and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first.

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dot com slash well read today that's rocket money.com slash well r e d rocketmoney.com slash well read and we thank them for sponsoring this episode of the podcast. They're the they're the liberal red necks they like cornbread but sex they care way too much but don't give a fuck. They're the liberal rednecks that makes some people. People upset, but they got three big old dicks that you can suck. On my sandwich Instagram dude and this other Asian dude that I follow, they kept using this mayonnaise that, again, I think it's called Kim, Kim P or something. But the point is, it's Japanese.

And I finally heard the sandwich guy, it's sandwiches of history, by the way. It's probably my favorite account of all time. Y'all go look it up. It's just this regular old sweet dude who every day makes a sandwich using a recipe book from like, you know, American history or whatever history. He kept using this mayonnaise and finally he explained why Japanese mayonnaise hits so hard and it's because they only use the yoke and they use more of it. You know what I mean?

Yeah. So it's just richer. There's more umami and I've been using it and dude, it bangs. Well, it bangs real hard. That does it. So on the subject of fat stuff, I had a couple of fat topics I wanted to talk about. And also I guess, you know, it's sort of. fat adjacent the other thing you wanted to talk about today if you're a woman anyone you know so it's

an all an all fat episode uh i get the first thing is just how big of a piece of a shit i am which is not you know that's not a newsflash to anybody but like the other day i saw it's i realized after i did it how perfectly it kind of encapsulates this part of me or whatever i saw some like tweet or headline or Reddit thing or something that said that all these countries ban this one particular food additive and America doesn't. You know, and it's like fucking, you know, Chad, Angola, fucking, you know, Kerserkistan, fucking all these different countries like ban this one thing and America doesn't ban it, right? So I clicked on it and it's this stuff called potassium bromate, right? And all these other countries ban it because it could be like real bad for you, I guess. And somebody in the comments was like, don't worry.

Here's a list of all the American products that contain potassium bromate. So you can avoid it if you want to. I clicked on that list, saw that it was like eight pages of stuff, and immediately closed it out and never gave a single fuck about it again. I don't need to know. You know what about it? Yeah, exactly. It's like at first I was like, oh no.

Am I eating something that's really bad? Like, what's good? But when I saw, I was going to click through multiple pages and spend more than seven minutes looking at this. I was like, you know what? It ain't worth it to me. Like, I don't. Also, I don't give a fuck. I'll just, I'll just eat it and die with the rest of the fucking stupid fat Americans.

I don't give a shit. Yeah, it's sort of like, you don't tell me the ingredients in the Taco Bell meat. I don't want to know. Right. And then like, yeah, because like, here, I know you. And I would be the same way. It's like if I read that list and it was all of the foods that I like, I wouldn't be like, well, I guess I can't eat all these foods that I like.

I would go, well, I have now confirmed that potassium bromate is what hits. You know what I mean? That stuff is clearly the jam. Yeah. Just be ordering bottles of it off Amazon or something. It come to you. But yeah, it's just like it just should be something that, you know, it's just the sheer laziness or whatever of the,

the whole thing. It's like, you know, any reasonable adult should care about something like that, but it's just immediately like, I don't. With children. Yeah,

right. Like, I'm not. With something to live for. I'm not doing that. I'm not, I'm not reading through eight different webpages. Put it all on one list.

I might scroll it quickly. Right. And frankly, just the pictures. Cat gifts or whatever. Yeah, exactly. But I'm not.

Yeah, just the pictures of all the food. You know it's fucking Valvita. It's like, it's, it's all that shit. It has to be. Yeah, probably, but like you said, that stuff hits. So it does hit. I guess I'm just going to have to die from that.

We all are. I mean, it's funny. It's genuinely funny. But part of the reason it's funny is like, it's like attrition, right? It's like, oh, it's eight pages. Well, I don't know what to do. What are you supposed to do? No, but seriously, what are you supposed to do?

Eat chicken from whole foods every day? I mean, maybe. I mean, maybe that is. I know some people do that. Well, they don't seem very happy, but they do look better than us. You just made me think of something, I kind of want to talk about with you guys. It's not at all fat related. But is this about organic?

No, it's about boycotting stuff, right? Or it's like, like, he said, it's like, what are you supposed to do? I love this. There's so many things, like, what are your options? And it's like, no ethical consumption. Exactly. No ethical consumption under capitalism. Exactly.

Right. But, son, first time Corey heard that, he goes, who, thank God. Thank God. Thank God. Thank God. Yeah. Buddy, I did. That was my whole fucking Chick-fil-A bit.

And I was like, I wish I knew that phrase. I'd have just said that. The biggest one recently, I think, is, I don't know if y'all are even aware of it, but Hogwarts Legacy. Yeah. Massive, massive, massive video game release. It's the equivalent of like a fucking Avengers movie in the video game world. My boys have been pumped about it for a while.

My younger son is reading the Harry Potter books for the first. time. It's very precious. Him and Corey have been reading them for the first time at the same time. Which one's on? He's on six. Are you done? I'm on seven. No, I'm on, I'm 62 percent done with seven. I mean, I'm sure they didn't even start at the same time. But if he

said five, I'm having trouble with the fifth one. No, I'm a, I'm 62% done with seven, and the only reason that I'm reading it slow is that we've been watching each of, my sister's never seen the movies, so we've been, me read a book, then we watch the movie together, me read a book and she's been like moving and so we're about to be on side i've just been taking my time

so that i can finish the book the day that we watch the movie so the benton has been so pumped about this game and then but now me and katie are both playing it it's fire that's what just want go ahead and put that out there it's so great yeah no shit and uh but you ain't supposed to like a lot of liberals would contest that you ain't you ain't you ain't supposed to play this game you're you're supposed to buy or play this game because of J.K. Rowling being a turf and a fucking... To a certain degree. I'll tell you all the reasons why I don't agree with that. And then y'all can say what you think.

But part of it is just A, the overarching idea of no ethical consumption under capitalism or whatever. It's like you start going down that path. And it's like, put your fucking iPhone up. Stop wearing your Nike. Right. Everything that hits for you has some element of that in it. but also like everything goes back to some bloodless billionaire who's making a lot of money off of it and none of them fucking hit they're all goddamn soulless assholes who are choking us all to death so like it why people who are loudest but but also the like she's already fucking one dog like you're not you're not gonna make her go broke by not getting the same she said it don't matter what you do right now number three there's so many more people

who worked on this thing that are like innocent, good people that ain't got shit to do with her and it would be fucking them over, you know what I mean? Just like your fucking game developers who just tried to do the best job they could do. I don't know. It's like canceling

them to cancel this game because you're canceling her, which don't hit for me. And also Harry Potter is sort of on the same note as JK Rally and like you ain't going to be able to affect her at this point anyway. Harry Potter is just already. It's

ours now. Right. Exactly. He's transcended the creator. That world, that universe goes beyond the creator. And you can't put that

Jeannie back in the bottle to matter how hard you try. And it's like, I'm just, I'm not going to stop liking Harry Potter. I can't. I can't stop liking Harry Potter. So like for all those reasons,

I say no, I'm going to keep playing this game with my Ravenclaw named Fimblebert Shackley Bun that I created. I would keep digging the shit flying around on my broom catching my niflers and stuff having a grand old time

but that don't mean that I'm not on your side trans people and trans community it's just it's complicated here's where I stand on it I genuinely it's like it's real easy for me and you to sit here and say that because we're not trans so I'll put that out first and foremost I do

to most of the extent agree 100% you know with what you're saying. But my thing on it is like, this is where I have a problem with it. I understand not giving J.K. Rowling any more of your money. But here's what's been bumming me. I mentioned a while back in like one of my bonus podcasts that me and my sister have been watching Harry Potter. I own the movies. I have, and I own them long before J.K. Rowling did her, whatever the fuck shit. And somebody was like, I can't believe you're still watching the movies after everything she said. I go, well, I own them. You know what I mean?

man like they i like the movies i can't just like quit liking a thing just because she's a fucking piece of shit like dude i love the watchman a lot of the dudes that made the watchman ended up being like crazy qanon dudes i don't know what to tell you i'm just a fan you know and i don't understand now i've just always i think as like creative people we know more than anybody to separate the art from the artist because like we've definitely met some people who we dig their shit but we're like as a person i don't fucking know you know what i I mean, I do get, though, people being like, don't give her any more of your money. I get it.

I really do. But, yeah, at this point, dude, she's, you're not going to hurt her. It's funny to think about her getting some kind of alert when you watch the DVD. Yeah. It's like, no, don't you understand that? She gets a dollar every time you play a Blu-ray. Yeah, I think I agree with everything you guys have said. I think one difference between this and Nike is that there's a figurehead.

I don't think that changes the reality of anything that you're saying. but unfortunately we live in the age of symbolism. I think boycotting J.K. Rowling right now, the only value I think we could get from it is twofold. One is the symbol. You've got to announce it if you're going to do it. And then people talk about virtue signaling a lot, but I do think there's some value in that.

Kids are watching. We live on the internet as a culture saying, fuck this shit and fuck you J.K. Riling, people see that. You know, people who can be influenced. 18 year olds see that. Maybe a trans person is having a bad day and they see you say that. And it doesn't hurt J.K. Rowling, but maybe it makes them feel better. But what is that worth?

You know, I don't know. Two, the only other pushback I could give since it's one person versus Nike is it may like prevent, you know, whoever that video game, it may make them act better. If they're like getting boycotted, even if they're not really losing money, but they're making less money than they thought they would, that might slowly start to change society. I don't know.

Boycotting as an act, as a political act, I don't know when it started, but I know that in this country, the history of it, I don't know if it starts here, but, you know, it certainly traces a lot of its roots back to civil rights, but that was like city-level stuff.

Like, an intention. entire city saying I'm not fucking doing, and I'm not taking the bus or whatever it is, does affect things. It does grind things to a halt. Then we've got to go do something. I don't know if there's a way to do that now

with a video game or not. I don't think I'd knock anybody for doing it. I don't think I'd roll my eyes at it. But I mean, I think I understand what you're saying, Trey. The only like, not even pushback, but the only difference I see is that she represents a thing.

So it's like it's symbolic. I don't blame anybody for doing it. I just don't. It's also, hell no. Also the part that where Benton is currently reading the books is also a pretty big part of it for me. Because it's like, am I supposed to stop him from doing it? He's 10.

Like, he's got no problem with trans people. He's not remotely transphobic. He's very open-minded and extremely sweet. He just really likes boy wizard novels. Like, am I supposed to take the 10-year-old's boy wizard novels away and explain to him it's because the lady who created all this, 25 years later, turns out she's a massive, hateful. cunt, right?

Like, it's just, you know, Harry, like you said, Harry Potter's like, it's just one of the few things that's, kind of just transcends all that shit to me. The IP itself,

the level of it, it's like one of five things that have ever reached that type of, that, that's Star Wars. Yeah, fucking, I mean, Marvel.

Yeah, I'm curious. On that level. It's like, I don't know the answer to this. Is the art, is the book? at all

transphobic I know she's I know she's been accused for a while of having the opposite like the whole fucking storyline

well I know she's been accused for a while I just want to get this out of being anti-Semitic the bankers she's anti-fat

I do me that my understanding is there's some part where the bankers look like old they're described the way that you would

describe a caricature of a Jewish person and like racist Nazi they're goblins the goblin the goblin race is the bankers

and I guess you know goblins I wouldn't call goblins. I wouldn't. I wouldn't either. I wouldn't either. Somebody.

The old card. Somebody pointed out. Somebody pointed out that the description. Those are meant to be Jews. You could tell. Well, I mean, I know what. Somebody pointed out that it was like, yeah, and they had giant noses and they loved, you know what I mean? It was like all these stereotypes.

It's how they used to draw them back in the day. Like they, like Drew's right. They would draw. I mean, if somebody said the orcs had an extra muscle in their legs, and smelled like dogs, you'd be like, okay, we know what's happening here. You know what I mean? They did in that Will Smith movie, I think.

I think that was the point, for sure, which was weird. Yeah, no, yeah, for sure. But so my thing on it. I'm asking, though. I'm asking if it is. I'm saying, because I do think that that's different because, like, but like, like, when we found out that the origin of lizard people,

the origin of it was anti-Semitic, it was like, well, that's different than anti-Semmits try to take it from us. It's like, okay, so I feel like you just got to assess it. But we should be doing that anyway. You should be paying attention to what you're letting your kids read, not you, like the Royal You. And if it's, if it's against trans people, you shouldn't let them read it. And if it's not, I'm not sure it matters.

Like, you know what I just don't know how, but maybe it does. Well, okay, let me, I'll make an argument on both cases. Number one, it's crazy to me. I mean, I guess she's a turf. So she is for gay rights. She's just not for trans rights. but like the whole fucking story, I mean, the way that they throw mud blood around

and how the pure blood and all this, like it's very except everybody, we're all different, you know what I mean? Maybe the animages in the movies, they were looked down upon and they transform into wolves. Well, also house elves and stuff.

There's like, I mean, there's in the wizarding world, I'm really glad we're getting into all this, by the way, but the wizarding world is like guns to school. The wizarding world is very high, hierarchical and like, you know, it's like a caste system. Like, course, like, there's a lot of wizards are openly racist, right? And like, that's all a big part. And there's class in like, but they're meant to be the bad people.

Exactly. It's all kind of like commentary on that type of shit. It's like that you shouldn't care about those types of things. But so it's like represented, but I would say in a good way. You know, it's like, like even their house elves, the little house elves, they're like slaves to wizard, literal house slaves. and a lot of wizards are like, no, they're like pets. You know, like pets, it hits for them.

It's what they want to do. But then you got, they want to serve you. But you got like Hermione being like, no, this ain't, this ain't right. This is bullshit. Only in the books, though, man. When I read that in the books, I was like, why the fuck wasn't this more of a thing in the movies? Like, this is such a great angle. I guess they didn't want to get political about it.

But also, though, let's all say, well, you guys don't have to say it. I feel strongly about this. If a book is set up to make, like, being anti-trans good or racist, good, then we got to assess that. If there's simply a character, because this is something that really pisses me off about the left on the internet, it's like, man, this, in retrospect, this character was really problematic. Well, motherfuckers, sometimes humans are problematic. We're writing a goddamn novel. Yeah, they're the bad guy. Everybody, there has to be, fuck, I'm with you, dude, there has to be, like, in the world, there's bad people. That's going to be reflected in a novel.

This is the antagonist of the novel. He sucks. He said the N-word. Sometimes a protagonist is racist. Like, that's just, you know, I don't know. That's how it is. Also, when you get into like classic books and shit, dude. Or like if you're a fan of golf. So many, like, classic books. I don't want to take them off shells and stuff, but they've got plenty of dated shit in them that, you know,

wouldn't fly today. So, um, I'm on a kick of golden era movies, Humphrey Bogart specifically. I've set out to watch every Humphrey Bogart movie. Nice. And, yeah, and they're great. but like we're talking about, dude,

Humphrey Bogart is the protagonist in all the movies. He's the good guy. And sometimes he'll just slap a woman. Yeah. They don't make it seem like it's bad. I bet she's been mouthy though, right? She's like,

or she's being hysterical. He's got to like, get it together. Yeah. They shakes her back. He shakes women. Yeah, right.

Yeah. He will just be having a normal. You had to do that back then. He will just be having a normal conversation with a woman and she'll disagree. with him and he'll just shake the shit out of her like what's your fucking problem yeah and i bet you gets it gets it's problematic yeah uh yeah for sure well that serves as a pretty all right segue into the other to get back on fat well hey let's take a break okay what's up folks it's uncle daddy

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So we're back. So tying all this together a little bit, I said it was going to be about fat stuff earlier. We just talked about people getting canceled, high profile of people being canceled, I, EG, J.K. Rallying. You said she didn't like fat people. It's sort of related. Then you brought up Humphrey Bogart and Golden Era movies, taking it back a little further. I wanted to talk at least briefly.

Yes. about Fatty Arbuckle, a man who combines, the man who combines all these topics. Because I knew, I knew that Fatty Arbuckle existed. Because from the moment I heard that, I was like, what a hilarious name for a portly silent film star. Do you know what I mean? It's like, of course. He's a hero of mine. Of course there was a guy named Fatty Arbuckle during the silent era, you know, who like, and he pioneered the fatty fall down genre of comedy.

which is still permeating our culture today. Absolutely. Chris Farley self-identified as Fatty Fall Down very often. Also, he'll come up again later. But Fatty Arbuckle comes from like the vaudeville era. But so I knew he had this huge scandal, got his name dragged through the mud, was ultimately exonerated. That was it.

But was basically fucked for life. I knew that that had happened. I didn't know the details of it. I got reminded of that yesterday. So I read up on Fatty Arbuckle. a little bit. And there's a lot of wild shit to it. First of all, this is fucked up.

And it's like not funny, but it is funny because it's over, it's over a hundred years ago in the past is so horrific that you can't help but laugh at it. But like, Fannie Arbuckle was such a gargantuan, fat-ass elephant child of a baby, right? 13 pounds.

When he was born at 13 pounds, his daddy refused to believe that that was his, his legitimate son, deemed his mother a philandering whore as a result of it, and named the child after a then infamous adulterer senator who he thought was the biggest piece of shit on earth, Roscoe, whatever. So he was like, I'm going to give this piece of shit baby a piece of shit's name. So who did nothing wrong? Further.

So before he was fatty, he was another piece of shit's name? Yes. Yeah. It never hit for him to be called fatty, by the way. But 100 years later, I'm still calling him fatty. Like, he, like, the whole time he was famous, he was like, listen, don't call me fatty. Fatty is the character. And it was true.

So he didn't give himself that. Okay. The character, you know, back then, character, they had like, you know, like, hold. The tramp. Yeah. Exactly. They played characters across all these different shorts and all these different silent movies and stuff.

His character on screen was fatty, right? but he wanted to just be called Roscoe Arbuckle, right? But everybody universally called him fatty, except for it did also expand, no pun intended, to, they also called him the Prince of Wales, as in fucking blowhole whales, and the balloon addict, which I feel like is good, you know,

like he'd be fat balloon, like he shaped like a balloon. Balloon a tick? Balloon a tick, yeah, maybe balloon a tick. That's what it was. So those are some of the other nicknages I gave him, all of which he hated. But anyway, no shit. Balloonics pretty good. Anyway.

It is good. I can't believe I've never called me that. Before. You're not a balloon guy. The Orgister. He's balloon-esque, though. I mean, thank you. You know, he round.

I'm red. I'm red. Yeah, right. Babies love him. I see it. Babies love me. How do you not see it? We've out like, what?

If you don't. If you don't pay attention to me for too long, I'll fly away. Ballins are like, like, they're blown out. Corey's like round, but he's like tight. Tight. I've been blown. I've been blown out before, though. He's been blown smooth out at various points.

And I'm in the middle. If I'm not careful, I'm back to blow up again. Yeah. So anyway. Trade's like right now sending you a box of cookies via the mail. He can't wait. Anonymous. A hot chick who thinks you need.

Not only did Fatty's daddy disown him immediately because of how fat he was. He also reportedly, and I didn't know this was even possible, but the past was a nightmare of medicine didn't fucking exist yet

or whatever, but reportedly, according to Wikipedia, he was so fat as a baby. He wrecked his mom's body. She never recovered and died a 11 years later from the complications resulting in having a baby that fat. Just so he was, a baby so fat, it literally tore his whole family apart.

She got the worst case of big ass pussy I've ever seen in my life. I know a fatal case, apparently. Like, I didn't even, I didn't even know that could be lethal. Fucking hot dog gets in there. You know, I believe that as they call it. Fuck it. I didn't know it could be fatal. but I guess it could, like some, uh, Mama Arbuckle.

But anyway, fast forward and he ends up king shit, man. He signed in like 1919 or 1920 or something like that. He signed a three year, three million dollar contract, I think with Paramount. Jesus. Which is the equivalent of 54 million dollars today. He signed a 54 million dollar contract in 1919. He was the biggest star on earth literally and figuratively. And, uh, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and.

. I think if they get that big, they're a black hole. , Yeah, yeah. Things are just sucking into his orbit. Yeah, imploded onto himself. But he in 19, I think 20-ish, somewhere around there, early 20s, he and some other stars at the time had a hotel party. They had three rooms rented at a swanky hotel in L.A., right?

They got all this booze, all this food in there. People are coming in and out out of these hotel rooms, and they're just throwing down up there. This young star, this young aspiring. Starlet named Virginia, I guess, Rappae. Her last name was spelled R-A-P-P-E. So, oh my God.

Yeah, it's wild considering what happens to her. Actually, well, what didn't happen to her? Anyway, I'm getting ahead of myself. This aspiring starlet named Virginia Rappe, that's how I'm going to pronounce it, shows up. Virginia is, okay, nope, nope, no. It's rape in French. Yeah, or she ends up dead and her friend,

who accompanied with her to the party claims that she was raped and murdered by none other than Fattie R. Buckle. Now, Fattie ends up having three separate trials for this. The first two trials end in a hung jury, both of them do. The details of it are fucking nuts and hilarious. The past dude is something else. Some little tidbits about the past, but in the past that come up throughout this story, but I'm not going to exhaustively tell the whole thing, but like at one point,

they were saying that they found Fattie's arbuckle, fattie's handprints. They found his arbuckle. Yeah, found his handprints over a print of her hand. But then the defense said that that was impossible because the hotel had had a made thoroughly clean all of the hotel rooms before the police arrived. Yeah, right.

Exactly. But, gross. Clean that up. Yeah. Yeah, that Malaney bit. You got the victim's blood over here. Gross. Somebody claim that up.

Yeah. Like, well, apparently they literally did that, right? And so, and the other thing, another thing that I remember from it was, oh, Virginia Rapay, she died. She didn't die for like two days. She ended up getting taken to a hospital. She ultimately died there. While she was at the hospital, the doctor presiding or whatever said that, uh, that she was

clearly heavily intoxicated. So to treat that, he jacked her full of morphine, right? Yeah. That'll do it. Yeah. It's like, oh, this lady's clearly way too fucked up. Nurse, heroin, stat. And now, now.

But, and there's all kinds of, like, little tidbits like that throughout this story. But basically, first two end in a hung jury. The third one, the jury deliberates for six minutes, returns with a not guilty verdict. And five of those six minutes were spent writing a handwritten apology letter. to Fatty Arbuckle for all he'd been submitted to by the U.S. justice system. He was in the end completely exonerated entirely. Turns out there was no actual evidence she had even been raped. It seems that she had a whole lot of her own, a whole lot of health problems,

chronic urinary tract infection. She wasn't an alcoholic. She had a bunch of all this shit going on. Her bladder ruptured. That's what killed her. Had nothing to do with fatty, right? But listen up, but this is, so I, talking about like, Cancel culture and tabloids, like tabloids, TMZ, paparazzi type shit, keeping all that stuff in mind.

It's all like modern phenomena. This is how that went. That shit was like the O.J. Simpson trial of its day. It was the biggest story in America. William Randolph Hearst, the fucking Rupert Murdoch of the fucking flapper era, you know, of the 1920s. Yeah, right. He made so much money off this. He put it on the front page of all of his papers, and it was like an early example of yellow journalism, muckraking and stuff.

shit. So as one example, witnesses at the party said that fatty took a big piece of ice out of like a champagne bucket and rubbed this lady's stomach with it because she was complaining of abdominal pain, right? So he's like rubbing her stomach with his eyes trying to like make her feel better. William Randolph Hurst papers reported that he used that ice to rape her to death. Oh my. They reported that he raped her to death with an icicle, right? Just, just completely completely fabricated. Like, no, nobody said this except for them. A lady ended up dead. There was an icicle there. That's the only two things that are true. They used that to, they, you know, extrapolated that headlight by. There was an icicle. Is that like a common thing? Because ice was hard to make back then? Why was there an icicle? It wasn't in uniform size. It was just a big piece of ice is what it was. Like, but anyway, so dude, he gets like vilified like no other. He becomes the icon of like Hollywood debauchery. All the Christian moralists and the good middle American Christians at the time were convinced that, you know, Hollywood was the devil's work and it was getting out of control and look what people were up to out there. And Faddy Arbuckle became the face of it.

So the studios, before he ever, before his trials were ever over, the studios banned all of his movies. They tried to ban all the rest of their stars from defending him in public. The only one who said fuck that was Buster Keaton, who turns out as an absolute bro. Buster Keaton is down to ride. it seems to me because and he was also at that time I mean massive yeah absolutely

he was like yeah one of the biggest but he wasn't taking no shit he's like no fat he's my boy and I know he didn't do this so like Buster went to bat for him many times but still

including on trial he like took the stand and went to bat for him and in the papers and all that stuff but all his movies got banned he got banned

by the 1920s version of the motion picture association of America or whatever he got ban from making any more movies ever again in the United States, right? And he was just like erased from existence basically before ultimately being found innocent of all this shit. Like he just gets wiped out. And Buster Keen gave him in 35% of the profits from his movies, which is a lot.

Just so. Like just in perpetuity from that on? Just so just so he wouldn't die destitute because he had just been, you know, blackballed from the whole industry. He finally is exonerated. ultimately he kind of works his way back. Buster Keaton also hired him to direct some stuff under a pseudonym. He took on a pseudonym and like worked behind the camera. He finally, Hey, we got Toby Tubberson over here. Director Tubberson.

Tiny Tee buckle here. He started to make his way back gradually and reportedly on the very day. He signed a new feature picture deal with Warner Brothers in 1933. that day, he died of a heart attack in his sleep. My God. 42, 43. Here, how is he? This was he then.

So he's, this is kind of crazy. I mean, y'all know this because I texted y'all this. Would you say, how big is he? Drew said 230. That's probably true. Well, I forget, it was the depression. Yeah, I mean, I don't remember seeing that. Drew's probably right.

It probably, I mean, yeah, $2.50, two, six. I mean, you can, you can do videos. I mean, he was also brave 5-7. Yeah. Yeah, right, exactly. But anyway, y'all texted y'all this already, but like, I thought this was really wild. So obviously, again, Fatty Arbuckle is kind of the originator of Fatty Fall Down comedy, right? Three of the all-time greats in that genre, and I'm not disrespect to them.

That's a pejorative term. These guys were fucking, these guys were geniuses. I'm just kidding around. Yeah, I would love to be referred to as that. But anyway, three of the all-time. time greats in that category inspired by Fatty Arbuckle, John Belushi, John Candy, and Chris Farley. All three of them were in the middle of developing a Fatty Arbuckle biopic for them to play, portray him in a drama. They were all dramas, right?

Like an Oscar Pipp, Oscar Bate biopic drama about Fatty Arbuckle's scandal and life and all that. All three of them were in the middle developing a project like that when they died at also an early. age of, you know, heart-explode and disease, right? And Candy and Belushi died on the same day, not in the same year, but on the same day. So, like, even more coincidence and shit.

Yeah, it's pretty wild. That's crazy as fuck, dude. That's like, there's a couple movies that they kept saying were cursed because, like, that. But that's one of the crazier ones I've ever heard just because, like, specifically those three dudes going to play

and the person that they're going to play, like, that's, that's fucking bananas. It is bananas. But, yeah, I just, I thought it was wild because, again, the whole, like, it's 100 years ago. It's like right at a little more than 100 years ago. Cancel culture didn't even exist. I know what I'm saying. It's like, and it seems in so many ways so modern, you know, because it's like,

yeah, dude. Fucking O.J. Simpson or that, or like, you know, even the Johnny Depp shit or whatever, just this sensationalized celebrity trial that captivated the nation. And also, yeah, he got canceled. and I was thinking earlier, the only cancel culture that's like, there's been a version of cancel culture in this country since it started, and it's the Christian moralist kind. Right.

By the way, Christian moralist who canceled the witches at Salem, right? Who canceled Fatty Arbuckle, who canceled Lenny Bruce and, you know, who now are canceling fucking My Angelou's books or whatever. Yeah,

and M&Ms and Tony Morrison and all that shit. Those people have been around canceling shit since day one of the saga, you know. Yeah. But by the way, when we say cancel culture, just for anybody, maybe listening the first time, we're not the type of people who complain about it like a lot of other white comics. Like we say that really tongue and cheat. I mean, that's sort of the whole point here. It's like trying to point out that it's ridiculous the way that a lot of people talk about it.

Like it's new. Like it's new. You know, like Cliff Nesterhoff, who we've talked about in the thread, he wrote a great book called The Comedians. And he has a new one coming out in November that deals with. like the culture wars throughout Hollywood because one of my favorite things about his Twitter is that without context, he just posts all the time newspaper clippings from like the 50s and 60s showing public outrage over something. You know what I mean? And it's like you see it and it's like, yes, this is exactly it except for our newspaper as Twitter. So like don't fucking tell me that none of

this existed. It's just that you had to see it in the newspaper. It wasn't all over your social media. Maybe it wasn't up in your face. But like how human beings. have reacted to shit hasn't really fucking changed. But like you said, though, back then, it was mainly the Christian nationalist motherfuckers that were doing it. And now they are like, oh, don't censor. Don't fucking, you know, dude, they would definitely defend a dude that they thought raped somebody today.

Yeah. I mean, they do. They do it all the time. Yeah. Yeah. Superheads for them. Because that's going back to the JK Rowling thing. When we talk about like boycottner or whatever, we live in a time now when like if the

left is boycotting something, the right will start loving it just to spite the left. You know what I mean? So like whenever they, whenever everybody boycotted Chick-fil-A, I guarantee you they had record sales the next week because all the Christians lined up. I know they literally. It was on the new date. Dude, they lined up. Morgan Wallen. Oak Ridge, Tennessee and the fucking Morgan Wallen.

The line was down the street around the block and down the fucking street. It was driving me crazy. I was like, I was calling it diabetes for Jesus. at that time, like on Facebook and shit trying to make fun of it. Travis, furious he couldn't get his fucking chicken. No, I'm not. Chick-foil is never hit for me.

I'm lucky in that way, because it's an easy stance for me to take since I don't really like that shit anyway. I think that's a lot of people, I think a lot of people, too, like, I think that most hardcore Harry Potter fans who, like, that is part of their identity.

They love that shit so much. They are not, they're not letting it go. Like, a lot of the people who are, like, so hardcore, worry about it. It's like you probably didn't even fucking like it anyway. So that's an easy stance for you to take. But like going back on the chick-fil-a shit or whatever, I remember when I was a kid, our church and a lot of other churches around us, boycotted the Harry Potter books because it was witchcraft. And now like all those same fucking people are like support

JK Rowling because she's telling the truth. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's pretty wild. Can I say that I think Faddy did that shit? Why? That just feels like he did it, man. He was like by all it, he was like he had the reputation of like a John Candy or a Chris Farley or something, i.e., like everyone who knew him said he was like one of the sweetest motherfuckers you'd ever made in your life. All right, here's what I think. I think Buster Keaton did it. And that's why he kept paying him because Fattie never ratted on his boy.

Buster Keaton did that shit. Also, that just sounds like... Buster Keaton? Well, that sounds like a villain. I do want to know, I don't think he did it, but I do, I am curious as to who was behind

making it seem like he did. Like someone had a vendetta against this motherfucker. She's got a name. If he didn't do it. Her name's something Delmont. She was the lone accuser initially. But then, yeah, it was the girl's friend,

but she, this, hang on, let me look it up. This, this, I don't remember first name or last name. It's also wild that there was a, there's also wild that there was a hung jury for, for two times and like. Yeah, I don't really, is that really rare? Twice, yeah, well, you know, even going to trial three times. Yeah, it's pretty rare. I mean, I could, I could make an argument either way. I could make an argument that like, this dude's famous and the prosecutor just couldn't

overcome that. Or I can make an argument that, like, this. This dude didn't do it. Like with OJ. It was. Yeah, I can make an argument that this dude didn't do it. It was that. And the prosecutor just really was hard up to make his or her.

Well, back then it'd have been to him. Make his name, you know, getting, getting fatty. It took fatty down. That second thing is how Wikipedia reports that it happened. So basically this, Maude Delmont was this chick's name. She was a witness for the prosecution who would never be called to testify because this is from Smithsonian Magazine. Because police and prosecutors knew that her story would not hold up. on the stand yet what she had to say would be more than enough to ruin Arbuckle's career.

So she accused him of it. And then the prosecutor was this real, the DA was this really overly ambitious dude who wanted to be governor and all this shit and had an opportunity to take down fucking, you know, fatty Arbuckle. He became convinced of his guilt immediately based on just this one thing and then just ran with it. Found out after the trial, like some of the, some of the doctors and stuff that testified against Arbuckle had been threatened with perjury by the DA.

If they didn't say, like what he told them to say, It was super corrupt. The whole thing was. And that Delmont chick, she, like, went on tour, like, toured Middle America as, like, the woman who took down Fatty Arbuckle or whatever and stuff like that. So she, like, tried to make, like, a career out of it or whatever. It was a bunch of opportunist.

Bro, we live in a fucking simulation. She toured on being a victim. I can't, I mean, I'm surprised Fatty couldn't tour make his money back on also being canceled. That's the only part of this that ain't just like now. America was so Christian and shit back then and the Christians had decided that he did. And that's one. So in the hung jury part, they were both examples of like there was two people involved who weren't going to be convinced that he didn't do it for nothing. Right.

So it's like 10 people saying like he didn't do it. And there's two people probably hardcore Christians or whatever who are reading the papers or all. I don't know. They're not supposed to do that, I guess. But whatever had decided he did it. Artists also back then didn't have as much career. autonomy as they do now. Like back then, hell no, they didn't have

any at all. No, that's what I'm saying, like, you couldn't just like, like, the only way that you're getting booked, like, you couldn't just sell your own tickets or you couldn't just, like, if there was the movie studio and if you worked in that world, if you weren't hired by MGM Warner or whatever, you fucking didn't, there was no, like, I'm going to

put my own shit on YouTube, you know what I mean? Or like, I'm going to have a Patreon. Like, you were such a victim of just, if the system wants you fucking, I mean, am I wrong that? I don't think so. Oh, I don't know, dude. No, nice teddy.

266 pounds. You want to see a fatty harbuckle. 266. You know how tall? You got that pulled up? Nope. But I'll try to real quick. While you look for it,

since we went to break at 15, let's go to break at 45. Today we are also sponsored by our own Amazon special. The well-red comedy specials are available right now on Amazon Prime. You can get all three of them or you can buy them individually as episodes. I think you can get all three of them. If you buy them all three, you save like $2. They're great.

We recorded them in Nashville at the end of 2021. Yeah, I don't know about you guys. Mine's awesome. And I feel like y'all's are great too. Check them out right now. I think they're all us at the top of our game. They're fucking all funny. I'm really, really super proud of them.

I actually got a little emotional. I watched all of ours, like, you know, back to back to back, just to relive that night. And I got a little emotional. It was a lot of fun. And yeah, you know, if we want to call people that are our fans

and send us direct messages, critics, it's critically acclaimed. You know, everybody has really loved it. A lot of flame emojis. Yeah, I think everything's,

yeah, a lot of those. I think, so many. One squirt one for me. The only regret I have is I made that fatty hard R buckle joke. I wish I could take that one back.

Oh, you just survived. Something else. So, we're back, everybody. Man, I'm on fire

reminding a tray of stuff. I had, I had known this, but I forgot. Along with Faddy Arbuckle, somebody else, so like, Ty Cobb, right?

Oh, yeah. Not really racist. Ty Cobb was not only not actually racist. He was very actively not racist, which is fucking insane for a dude from rural Georgia, born 20 years after the civil war. This motherfuckerger was born in rural Georgia, 1880s,

and he was like openly in favor of integration and civil rights. And he's remembered as one of the most racist motherfuggers of all time in this country, one of the most racist athletes of all time. That and why is that fucking, because this dude, Al Stump wrote a very popular biography about him that made up a bunch of shit about how racist he was, just like that other bitch did about my man fatty and people just rolled with it. Was that guy racist? Was that guy trying to take down the liberal, you know what I mean?

I think he just had a personal like Vendetta against Ty Cobb. But then that book, which was very popular, that book got turned into that movie with Tommy Lee Jones. And that movie was also pretty popular. And he's racist. Oh, I've never seen that. That's why I thought he was racist. Caleb's John had a great joke about this. But he didn't address, he didn't address that it was fake.

As I recall, he didn't know it at that time. No, I think the joke was, do you know how racist you have to be? racist you have to be in 19-4-th-thewan or whatever. Yeah. Even though you were the hit leader for, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Like if people in the 1800s were like, Jesus, Christ, this guy. Yeah, exactly.

That was the whole bit. But, but Corey told me, and I know he's right, I just, we were all drinking. I don't remember it. We were hanging out with Caleb one night, like at a bar in San Jose or something like that. He told us all because he had that bit and he was like, hey, you know what I found out? Did you guys know that Taikob wasn't even racist? And he told us all that, but I had forgotten it. But anyway, that shit's just pretty wild.

So it's fucking super wild. I've totally monopolized this entire episode. I want to see that movie. I want to see that movie of Ty Cobb, you know, getting called racist and being lamented as a racist and being actively not racist and trying to fight back on it. I would like to see that. I think he was dead before it ever happened. I have to assume that that rider was actually racist because I don't. know what other motivate.

Because you said, well, yeah, I think he just hated him. That's a weird lie to make up at that time period. Do you know, this guy was really racist? And, like, most of the world's like, okay. I see what you're saying. Like, he was going like, oh, this guy that y'all think did all these good things. No, he was racist. Well, because, yeah, because my point is, like, if it was just a takedown generally, like, I don't like him,

why would anybody back then? People were racist back then. You know what I mean? Yeah, they loved it. When Ty Cob died black newspapers because they still had, you know, they still had to have their own newspapers when Ty Cob did. died, right? When Ty Cobb died, black newspapers like eulogized him and said like, you know, he was a great man who deserved a lot of respect for his stances on racial politics or whatever.

So, I mean, yeah, pretty wild. And it's good, you know, it makes it a relief, I guess, that when you die, you're just dead and food for the worms. And so he ain't got to worry about all that. Yeah. That's if you, if like, if ghost was real and shit, he got to have the most pissed off ghost of all time, I would imagine. Because like, that's rough. Well, that's very... I want to point out, yeah, I'm trying, I'm really not trying to be, like, super woke. This is very much, like, the point that people make about this, we're like, it kind of is the worst thing that can happen to a white man other than, like, really random act of horrible violence, is that we get falsely accused or something horrible. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, because it's like, it's like... Please believe me. Yeah. Yeah, dude. And, like... And also, we're used to being believed. The thing with the fatty R buckle two thing is like, if you're accused of something that you didn't do and then later you're exonerated, people already heard all they needed to know. You know what I mean?

Like they're not paying attention to that. They just go, oh, this person did racist, whatever. And then they form their opinion on you and they move on with your life. And like, they often don't then hear the fact that like, hey, it was proven actually that they didn't do this. And you're just fucked. Dude, there is a case in Colorado. where someone had child pornography at school. And they went through the process of telling the police officer,

because it was one of those schools that has a cop on campus about it. It went nowhere. It stuck in a teacher's crawl that it went nowhere. So he investigated himself, found out that it was a lot of people. The DA brought charges against all of them, but charged him for possessing child pornography. for during his investigation, finding it, putting it on a thing, and then taking it to the police.

Oh, my God. It is, and here's what it is. He embarrassed the cops who were either so lazy that they were going to let a child porn ring at a school go, or they were covering it up on purpose for whatever reason. Of course. And this dude will now, like, it's making national news. The judge in the case is, like, you can tell very,

much like, like he's like saying to the jury supposedly, or he said to the, I think maybe he said to the lawyer, you know, jury nullification is a thing. Like, I can't throw this out because this dude technically did break the law, even though he followed the school's policy, but he was supposed to be an officer of the law when he did it. Someone's saying that they're going to pass a law and then retroactively make him not guilty. But the reason I thought of it, he's already lost his job. there are people in the community that think he's a, yeah, because the cops are also like doing a smear campaign against him,

there's people who are like, no, he did it. He's, the, you know, hit dog, haulers first, that kind of thing. This dude's life is ruined. And they want him to plead, frankly. And they want him to plead guilty. Like the DA's like, well, he did break the law. And I mean, he's threatening him with like 90 years. And he's like, he should just take this plea deal.

Somebody should. unalive that DA. It's like, dude, that type of shit is not stomach. Yeah, me too. It's like, because that type, that can happen. I would have killed myself already probably. I'd have took somebody else out first, my man. Oh, yeah, dude.

Dude, if I, yeah. I would have went down there with my guns ablazing, free my homie fatty, and then I'd have blasted everybody. No, dude, that is unsettling. Because, like, as Trey just said, like, that shit can just happen. Anybody can just say anything. especially boys not to freak you out any further but like you know let's say like we got a show in florida or something in like five years and florida keeps going to the direction it's going and

we're like enemies of the state and some shit you know what i mean like we got a political target on our back we get fucking railroaded end up being just like that someone that shit could happen someone told me today and i think they were making a joke i think it was a fan but i've i've kind of gone many viral so it might not have been a fan like i've been getting shit too someone said Ron DeSantis wants to know your whereabouts. And I was like, is this person kidding? I know what they mean. I know what they mean.

He's trying to pass a law, and he probably will pass a law, that requires anybody who writes blogs about or who writes about him on the internet to register with the state of Florida. I didn't say his fucking name, though, dude. I was just talking about, I released a version of that job, I think. Yeah, right. I think you're right. But it still was creepy. Yeah, they're doing all kinds of wild shit, doesn't it? But I'm saying it's like, like, I think sometimes, and then I feel like I'm paranoid,

but I'm like, I don't know. Like, I don't know. Like, if I got, even just getting like pulled over in like, like Cookville or something. There's a lot of asshole cops in Cookville. I'm from that area. A lot of people there know me. I get pulled over. He knows who I am.

Like, dude. Keep that thing on you, son. Right. Yeah. They'll do whatever they can. And let alone if they find him my, like, little weed gum is that I've got in my backpack or whatever. It's like, it's on.

you know, I know they're going to be everything they can to fuck me. Yeah, there's a state patrolman who his jurisdiction is around the Chickamauga area who I went to high school with and he actively hates me. And it's, I'm where I get worried. That's because you choked him in a pool. No, that's a different guy. That's a completely different guy. I don't think that guy's a cop anymore.

This is just a dude. And like, he, like, it just, it makes me nervous that like he could just, at any point be like, I'm just going to say he did this shit. And then I'm going to tase him, you know, or whatever the fuck. Yeah. So, no, it wasn't the guy I choked out and pulled. That guy fucking had it coming. It is funny.

Like, I mean, as Drew sort of said earlier, you've picked like, like, imagine like a black dude, like a black dude. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You just want to fuck you over something. It's like it's wild, right. It's crazy. Because normally I never thought about that before, you know.

Oh, yeah. It's been so trustworthy and everything. I'm starting to think these guys aren't cool. Cue all the women who have to think about whether or not they might get repaid. Yeah, right. Yeah. That Dave Chappelle bit when he's like, honey, did you see this? They're apparently beating up Negroes like hotcakes.

Yeah. Yeah, dude, going back a little, I think that the space between me leaving being a public defender and then, like, you know, becoming somebody with a platform is a note. that like that's enough time and what am I trying to say cognitive dissonance. But like I can imagine a cop that like hated me already and then seeing me do well, oh son. You know, like there were people who imagined murdering me had nothing to do with like what I do publicly.

Yeah, just because like I, you know, made them look stupid on the stand or whatever. Well, cops, man, ain't it. On that lovely note, I think it is about time to wrap it up, right? Free my homie, fatty. and also Drew has Gravy Baby, very funny, new podcast. Me and Trey have putting on airs. Trey also has patreon.com slash Trey Crowder

and go to Trey Crowder.com. All those dates. I know my man is out there on the grind. And for me, I'm about to have a kid, so I'm staying at home for a little bit. You can follow me on part-time funnyman.com and subscribe to all my shenanigans. And, oh, get our Amazon special.

Wait, wait, wait. Sorry. I just want to plug San Francisco. this weekend. I'm pretty pumped about those shows. I'm at Cheever than Therapy and Don't Tell. It's going to be a good time coming out or hit me up on social media if you want to find out where I'm at.

It's too many shows to like plug quickly and come out. If you're at the other end of California this weekend, I'll be in San Diego Sunday night. So come see me at the American Comedy Company. All right. Go ahead, Joe. And I will be at my house enjoying my last two weekends of not having a child taking a shit on my head. Thank you all for listening to the well-read show. We'd love to stick around longer, but we got to go. Attune in next week if you got nothing to do. Thank you, God bless you. Good night and skew.