wellRED podcast - #315 - 2 Men Talking About a Baby or (Are You Ready For Some Fascism?)

Episode Date: March 22, 2023

This week Drew and Corey talk about CHO's first days as a father! Corey talks sleep deprivation, perspective changes, and his tremendous respect for anyone having to go at it alone. The conversation takes us (somehow) into the rumors that Donald Trump was to be arrested this week!Check out our sister podcasts: Puttin On Airs, Gravy Baby, Weekly SkeewsFor bonus stuff from Corey, go to PartTimeFunnyMan.comCheck out TraeCrowder.com for tickets to shows, and go to Patreon.com/TraeCrowder for bonus Traeoh and btw.....OUR NEW SPECIALS ARE OUT ON AMAZON AND YOU OURT WATCH THEM!!

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion, because you used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

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They're the they're the they're the brown bread necks they like cornbread but sex they care way too much but don't give a fuck. They're the liberal rednecks that makes some people upset but they got three big old dick that you can People don't know this because, well, they don't know when we record this, but we're a minute early. And I'd just like to tell you that there's no way that this isn't the first time in well-read podcast history, that that is true. We're not like a late bunch, but a minute early is pretty crazy. And why is it that we're early today, Corey? Oh, you know what? I hadn't even thought about it, Drew.

But that's a great point. For all of you just listening, that is because me and Drew are flying solo. Well, we're flying duo instead of trio. Trey, I believe, is in Montana. Yeah, he's in Montana eating meat and doing stand-up or something. So it's just me and Drew, by the way, speaking of Trey doing stand-up, Trey Crowder.com for his dates and, of course, all the well-read dates. We will be back together for starting in Asheville or Knoxville.

Is that correct? Well, Trey and I will be in Portland together. That's correct. you will be with your baby. You're on paternity leave. I am. I'm on paternity leave. How about said paternity?

And I was like, I don't, Joe Paterno? Joe Paterno leave. Hey, Patino's back. Did you know that? Speaking of Paternoes. Well, he didn't go anywhere. I mean, he coached the tournament this year, but he's back at a big school. At a big school, yeah, yeah.

He was with the Iona Gales, who made the tournament and got the feet out of them. Yeah. But, yeah, I'm on paternity leave. Paternity leave. Man, this keeps coming up. That does not sound right, but that is how you said it. No, it doesn't sound right. Like, you want to say it's like he's on fraternity leave, but that's like fraternity.

I ain't that. That seems like it would mean father. But yeah, paternity leave. I'm on it. And yeah, for those of you that don't know, I just, me and my wife just had a baby three days ago now. And it's wild dog. It is fucking crazy. I'm coming to you on two.

We haven't gotten more than two hours of sleep in a row because you can't. Like you're not. allowed to. That's not like, like the baby has to eat because ours came early. The baby has to eat every two hours. And so for three days, it's been, you know, feed him every two hours. And hopefully you can sleep the full two hours between that, which, as you can imagine, has yet to happen. So I'm in a really weird headspace, but like a good one. Is it, uh, is it breast milk? Yes. And are you pumping? We're doing both. So she's, um, so is there no road rotational opportunities or am I ignorant?

No, no, no, you're not ignorant. So what's happening is he is, we don't, he's, he came early, so he's having to get a certain amount of food. And what's unfortunate now, Amber, before your actual milk comes in, there's a, there's like a pre-milk that's called, I'm going to get this wrong, but like colostra or something. And it's really good because it's super concentrated. And that's what a baby needs, like, right out the gate. but there's not a lot of it.

And the bad thing about that is, is that when we don't know how well he's latching, so when he's down there sucking, there's no way for us to know exactly how much he got. So as soon as he get, you know what I'm saying? Like, we don't know. So as soon we can like look down there and we see some. Yes, well, that's why we're doing it at least. So like he, we let him suck on it for a while because she wants him. We want to train him to be like, this is where I get my food.

So no matter what, we're going to the. tit at all times. But then after he's done eating, she also then pumps a certain amount and we put that in the bottle and then feed it to him. But like she, and I told her, because this is what I, I know where your head was at. I said, hey, baby, I said, why don't we just pump a good bit? And then I will, I will feed him the next three times. I'll just stay up and you can go to sleep. And she said, that sounds amazing, but I'm, I want him to get used to sucking on my titty every two hours so that he's in the habit of it. And then just out of fairness, you're there too every time?

Yeah, every time. Yeah, I've been there every time. I want to get one in cities where you put the bottle in it. I want it to suckle from my tit too. I am interested in that. I'm interested in that because we were doing, we have to do this thing called what's skin to skin. And where it's like that's how you bond with your baby. Like every now and then you're supposed to take your shirt off and you.

get the baby, take his shirt off and just lay him on your chest and I guess get him used to your pheromones and scent or whatever. And I was doing that. And he didn't full latch on my titty, but he went in. You know what I mean? Like he was like, oh, that would be neat. That'd be interesting. Suck out of titty, boy.

So he's, yeah, we got a lot of women, folk. We do. Name, height, or lengths, I guess we call it lengths. Give us the numbers. Give us the numbers. him give us the stats seven uh pounds two ounces and again he was early so he was early seven pounds two ounces i think 19 inches that sounds about right to me i'll be honest with you i'm not used to hearing height in inches like that so it didn't register with me me i think not it's like 19 to 21 i

don't know why uh i think that and then on whatever that they give babies a rating like a blue chip rating and he's a 9.1 out of 10. I don't know what any of that entails. But when they, we had a C-section. He's going to go pro as a baby. As a baby. Yeah, yeah. And I mean, dude, I mean, I'm his father, King Baby, of course. Like, he's, you know. That's true. He comes from a good stock of babies.

Yeah. So we were in, we were in the delivery room after she had a C-section. And I'm freaking out. Like, you know the scene in below when Johnny Depp's having the kid and he's sitting there in his arm shaking, you know, and he falls out. Well, it was like, when they handed me this baby, my whole body was genuinely numb, and I was scared, and I was holding him, and I didn't, I couldn't feel that I was holding him. You know what I mean? Like, I was just, like, out of my body. And then this lady, I'm sitting there scared.

I'm overwhelmed. There was a C-section. Amber's crying and all this shit. And she goes, he's a 9.1 on the whatever scale. And I go, is that out of 10? And she goes, mm, someone's smart. Like I was supposed to. Yeah, I know.

It's like, this is my first baby. How do I fucking know? Also, you just told me her blood pressure was a math problem. So get your fucking numbers right. Yeah, exactly. Like, I was asking if it's out of 10 because clearly that matters. You know, if he's, if he's a 9.1 and it goes out of like 50, I'm fucking concerned. Yeah.

So, so, yeah. He's all that. Yeah, it was exactly like that. What was her title? She was a registered nurse. And for the record, she was awesome. I really liked her. The main ones always are, dude.

She was super fun. And I think really what it was was that we'd been, she was super cool. And like, we were there for so long that she had just like, we'd become kind of friends with her. So I kind of think it was that like her just, you know, hey, we're tight or whatever. Oh, someone's smart. But she did it front of everybody. You know what I mean? Like all these people I didn't know.

And I was like, God damn. That was our thing. That wasn't the thing. I love a mean nurse. Andy knows that I got a soft spot for a mean nurse. You had a male. What was it that nurse said to you when? She threatened to murder me.

So I was in the ICU because I was on a blood clot medication that was so strong that if I like, you know, rolled over the wrong way and hit my arm, I could literally bleed to death. So I was in the ICU, so I would be close to whatever I needed if something went down. and I had woken up from surgery and I had to have more surgery. But I was confused. They were trying to explain that to me and I didn't get it. And that wasn't planned. They just couldn't. There was so much clot and it couldn't get it all.

So they're explaining that to me. And apparently, and I was told this story. Apparently they're just like, and then this happened and we got about 80% of it. And we've got to set you up. And I'm just going, cool. I want a cheeseburger. And they were like, oh, well, you can't have one because we've got to go back in for surgery. And that's why you're not allowed to eat.

And I go, yeah, I'm going to need you to give me a cheeseburger. And they were like, all right, well, how about we let the doctor come in and explain it? And I was like, well, how about you stop patronizing me? And then, like, my dad got involved. He was like, son, calm down. I was like, son, calm down. On drugs or just being a dick. On drugs.

I don't remember any of this. I mean, I was being addicted. I was in fighter flat motor and I was starving. Yeah. Apparently I said something like, you know, I get it. You're like, we'll bring the doctor in and that will, you know, get him to. calm down. I was like, I'm going to tell the doctor the same thing. You got my dad trying to, what are you going to do, dad? Apparently, I literally said, what are you going to do, Doug, beat me up

while I'm in a hospital bed? All of y'all stop talking to me like I'm a child and bring me a cheeseburger. And they brought me a cheeseburger and I vomited immediately, which is exactly what she told me that I would happen. Well, then I'm laying there. You know how satisfied she was. So satisfied. So then I'm laying there in ICU and, uh, and I guess they had told me this, but I'd missed it. And I kind of rolled over and I pissed black. Oh. Because I was bleeding through my bladder.

And I guess they had told me I would do that, but we all missed it. I looked over at my mom and she turned white. And I thought I was dying. Yeah, of course. We hit the butt and my dad started praying. My mom was like crying, like trying not to fall apart. And the lady came in and she turned every light on. It was like one of the morning, so it was like jarring.

You know those lights, those hospital lights, and she goes, do you need a little attention? And I was like, well, I think so, because, and then my pee, and my mom was like, he peed blood. He peed blood. And she goes, oh, did he pee a little blood? I got a baby next door that's been alive for four days, and its mom's never hugged him. He's probably not going to make it through the night. But I'm glad you made me come over here because you peed blood.

And then she said, you're going to be fine, honey. And the reason I'm being mean to use because you were mean to my friends. If you try that on me, I'll kill you. And I got the drugs to do it. And I about fell out to bed and died laughing. So anyway, I like a mean nurse. Yeah. So for those that don't know, your dad's a preacher.

So when your dad is praying, is there a part of it? Like, what does that look like when it's in private? Does he go into like show mode? Is it like a really hardcore prayer? Or is it just normal? My dad generally prays out loud, period, but it's kind of quiet and it's hard to hear him unless you're like right by him. So like Jack the snake. The way he does it.

Yeah, a little bit like Jake the Snake, sure. It's also like, dude, it's almost like. Jack the snake handler. It's almost like speaking in tongues. I got to say like there's something very real about what my father's experiencing in those moments. Does that make sense? Yeah. It's like trans-like.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Anyway, yeah, I'm sorry that was a long story, but yeah, I've had a smart-ass nurse. But we both had happy endings, I guess. Yours is a 9.1, which that's a pretty good diving score. I agree. A French judge, that's a pretty good Olympic. Yeah.

Yeah, no, it's been great, man. I mean, it is, it's, there's a lot of stuff that I, The sleep thing, all I'd ever heard was like, yeah, when you have a baby, you don't sleep. And I was like, yeah, that's normal. They wake you up in the middle of the night. But I was like, and who knows, Laura James was a good baby and didn't cry that much. Maybe we'll get lucky. I wasn't prepared for the, oh, no, even if the baby is good, you have to get up every two hours to feed it.

I wasn't thinking in terms of that. So that has been quite an experience just because, dude, I think that, well, number one, if we had had this baby, even when we first got married, like five, six years ago, I wouldn't be having near as much trouble with the no sleep thing, you know, especially because A, I was younger and B, I was so used to staying up at all hours of the night because I was a drunk,

you know, but I have done, which is bittersweet, I've done this thing called getting my shit together for the past year, year and a half where I'm a person who sleeps and, you know, takes care of themselves. And man,

it has really, it really hit me like a ton of, a ton of bricks. And I would, and I wanted to talk to, I know you're going to have some thoughts on this. But another thing that I have really gained a new appreciation for is, Mamas or daddies, but especially mamas who are having to go at this alone, obviously there's never been one time where I thought, I bet that's easy. You know what I'm saying?

But like, dude, and let me, and let before, before you answer, let me just throw on the line, privilege because I'm insanely privileged. Like we all know that, but in pregnancy specifically right now, my wife is a teacher and therefore she's already on maternity leave and is not going to have, she's going to have the whole summer off. So like, she ain't going back. She's here 24 hours a day. I make my living telling jokes and I'm currently not on tour and have been fortunate enough

to where I had enough money to be able to take months off work. Like we don't have like official paternity leave, but like I'm in that spot. So it's us two who are here 24 hours a day, right? And it's still insanely hard. Like us in the two best situations that we could be in. And some people, like I've been with Amber every step for the past three weeks of this drawn out pretense. I've been with her every step because I didn't have to go to work. But dude, like some people, their wife has a baby, they got to get up the next morning and just fucking go right back at it.

Yeah, they don't get leave. Dude, like, I don't, and Amber's even said it. It's not like, I mean, dude, I'm not like. You aren't done that. Yeah, I know. But like Amber has even said she's like, she goes, I don't know how I'd be doing this without you. And I'm like, yeah, and I don't even hit. You know what I mean?

How old are you? I am 35 and she is 33. So I have two thoughts. My first thought was a story my mom has told. Well, my dad worked on the road my whole life until I was like 12 or 13. He worked for the railroad and the gang he was on traveled. And you can make more money on that gang, especially when you're young. But as you get seniority, you can come home and make good money.

Right. And so he finally got enough seniority and he came home and it was great. But there was one day where I think it was like sort of a passing thought for him. But it might have like kind of saved their money. marriage because they went through a few different types of shit. And apparently one day, though, after he'd been home for like a month or two, he goes, I'll tell you what, I've just, I've definitely gained a lot more respect for you, Nancy. I'll tell you that.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And again, to him, I think he was just like, damn, girl, I didn't know. Good job. Yeah. But she was like, thank you for finally, because that, that less respect you had for me, you may not have realized it, but you treated me differently. Right.

It showed. Yeah. It's like my dad, that was a hard job back then. It's still a hard job of the railroad, but it's mostly machines now. But like my dad used to drive railroad to spikes by hand a little bit. Like they had a tamper, but he had to like fix it. Anyway, so that's like my first thought. It's like, yeah, that's very real.

My second thought, I told my mom when Andy and I were discussing having a kid, and my mom, you know, obviously was very interested in the answer to that conversation. I think at some point I was like, yeah, we're going to do it. We're going to start trying, but, like, I'm real apprehensive. And I said, one thing about nature making you have kids young, like, making you able to. Yeah, right. That's when it makes sense. Like, you need to have kids when you're young because you're dumb enough.

Yeah. To believe that it's going to be great. Yeah. And you don't need to sleep and all that shit. Right. But related to that is, yeah, and you started to make the point there. And I'm not saying it's still not really hard, but you're like, like how do people do it?

Most people do it at like 25. Yeah, I think that's the main answer. It's also like for me and you, it's like, how did we drink so much? And then keep going. Yeah.

25. Yeah. That's how. So I think that's part of it. And then also you just find that other gear, dude, you're going to go crazy. Oh, yeah.

Oh, there is, I can tell my adrenaline spiking because like, you know, I can go on no sleep, but I'm normally not able to, like, function too great.

But like, so far, every time the, the alarm is rang and it's two, I am, boom, at attention, ready to do this thing. And mainly because, like, I'm, like, here's another thing, too, about being older. If I'd have had this kid when I was 25, the 25 year old, me, like me, me as a 25 year old, I would not be being super dad right now. And I, I'm willing to admit that. Like, I'm willing to admit that I wouldn't be super dad because I wasn't as good of a person. I'm still a flawed individual, but like I'm like I'm putting as much effort into this as I've ever put in anything in my life.

Granted, it's only been three days. You know what I mean? But I am and I know at 25 because like, you know, we've talked about it a million times. Growing up where we grew up and just being men in general, like I was at 25, I was a sexist that didn't even know he was a sexist. You know what I mean? Like used to it was like, oh, no, I'm not a sexist because I think women should get paid the same. But I definitely at 25 would, I probably had more like what gender norms should be in my head.

Just because growing up around here, I'd been like, yeah, you do this. And I'll do, you know, I'll do this. But like, we're not, you know, like aside from the actual putting the baby's mouth on her titty, which I can't do, I'm doing. I'm trying to do every single other thing that I can. And I fucking wouldn't have done that at 25. Yeah, it would be a crime if you put the baby's mouth on her teeth. I think, like, all what you're saying makes sense and you're right, but I think you probably would have been better than you're giving yourself credit for it if you were home.

Like if you weren't working. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I can't imagine how hard it is. I honestly try not to because even though it's coming for me, it's like, well, why spend the next few months worried about that rather than just like enjoying whatever? Yeah. But yeah, I can't, I can't imagine how hard it is on both of you.

I have heard, and this isn't to negate how hard it is, but just like an interesting thing. I have heard that, like, you can adjust pretty quickly. So, like, and I'm going to start throwing words around that I don't quite understand and probably am misremembering. But generally speaking, it's like, I think they call it the brown wave. it's a certain type of sleep you go into. Yeah. And it has something to do with how deep you sleep and blah, blah, blah. And apparently,

parenthood's a perfect example. When people are getting woken up a lot, their body does go back into it more quickly. Yeah, right. And you may not be there yet. I mean, take a few days. But apparently most people can adjust eventually. But that adjustment's got to be like,

I mean, just a mind fuck. I mean, like, Yeah. What else in your life even remotely comes close to adjusting as far as your day-to-day lot? Maybe, and again, it's not the same, but working on the road is so different than being home maybe. Yeah. Yeah, dude.

And here's another thing that's crazy too, because when I look at this baby, we've had it for three days and I've been around it for however many hours are in that three days, that's 72. And I've been around it for 72 hours. And that's very much not enough time for it. to for you to fully comprehend, holy shit, this is my baby. Like this, you know what I mean? Like, it doesn't.

I still, like, I was down there before this podcast and I was rocking him. And I had a moment where I looked down. I was like, oh, shit, like this is mine. Like, it's still. So, and when you go to sleep and you're woken up, every time we've woken up, you also remember that you have a baby. Like, like, you get woken up. And then you're like, oh, this is for, fuck, I got a baby.

So that's happened like 15 times where I just get woken up from a dream and go, oh my God, is this real? I have a baby. But also I think something that really helps getting me into gear and getting me immediately up is, and this will probably go away, well, at least a little bit, the fucking fear, dude, the fear of if we don't do that, if we don't do something, he's going to die. Like he's got to fucking... Yeah.

So, man, I'm very curious about this, and I'm kind of glad Tray's not here to, like, be stuck up about it. Tell us how stupid we are. Yeah. Well, and also tell us that we don't hit us dads, but... Yeah, right. Are you at this point? And I know that, like, if you're not... Like, I know where it ends up.

But at this point, is it more fear like, I can't let the baby die? Or, oh, I can't be the... reason the baby dies. Oh, it's, uh, you know, I think definitely right now, it's the latter. That's, uh, yeah. No, it's definitely, I mean, I mean, obviously there's both. Obviously, I don't want him to die because that's a baby that I love. That's my, my son, but they're definitely like every single.

I've been so like to the point where Amber's like making fun of me and being like, baby, you're not going to hurt him. Like, I'm so insanely careful. like I'm, you know, when I'm holding him, I'm not even reaching to get a drink because I don't want to accidentally shift his neck. Like I'm, and it's because I'm like, dude, I don't know the rules. I don't know what will hurt him. They've got a fucking off switch on their head. We've always been told that.

Everybody knows that about you. Yes, yes. Or espouse it because you're a man. Like if something happens. And the specific type of man that I am. So if something happens in the babies with the mom, it's like. Like, oh my God, that's tragic. If something happens when the babies with the dad, you know that everyone in the back of their mind's like, oh, my God.

What do you do, though? Yeah. Yeah, dude, it's like a crazy heart, right? Like, everybody would look at me like Jeff Bridges in that movie. You know, they would, even if what happened 100% wasn't my fault could not be avoided. Everyone has their pre-c-cate. And I get why people would think that about me. But, like, yes, I feel like-

It's all men. And then I know that you're a specific type and it's worse. But, like, dude. this is such a fucked up thing I'm about to say, God forbid any babies die. But when a baby, like, never mind. No, no, do it. No, I'm with you.

I feel like it's better. Yes, it is. I don't know what the right word is. The world will forgive the mom. That's what I'm trying to say. Yeah, now she's drowned in a tub, obviously. Yeah, yeah. Which doesn't really make it any easier, but like,

it would be worse. Dude, yeah, if a baby, if the mom is with the baby and something happens, I feel like for the most part, people will be like, what a tragedy. Bless her heart. I can't imagine how horrible that is. But if something happened with the dad, they would be like, they just can't be left alone with these motherfuckers. See, I knew it. I blah, blah, blah.

And I do. And 100% when that happens, it is true. That's probably true a lot of times. Oh, dude. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? Like, there's no. Like, I'm guilty of this thing that I'm talking about.

Yeah. For sure. Me too. Me fucking too. But me fucking too. But like, so I'm going. I think that's the reason that I'm going above and beyond because, yeah, like, I'm, and so, and Amber's just like, Amber also has the maternal instincts. It's the craziest shit in the world, dude, because she didn't read a baby book.

I mean, she scrolled some stuff every now and then, but like, she's doing shit. And she's like, I didn't even, no one even told me to do, you know what I mean? Like, no one even told me to do that. I just, I just did that because that's just in my fucking DNA. I do you feel about that. That's crazy. What is that? Like, does that, does that make you, like, almost believe in God?

Is that like, this is what instincts are? Like, what is that? Well, I've always believed in, like, a God, you know? Right. So is this, like, akin to that? Yeah, yeah, for sure, man. Is it divine? I think so, too.

Yeah, because my mom, all the, my mom gives me shit about this, because I had a, I don't want to get into it, but I had a thing happened a couple weeks ago that was, that to me was like divine intervention. Like it was crazy. And I was talking about it to my mom and she's like, mm-hmm. See? And I was like, what? And she goes, so you do think that there's somebody up there. I go, yes, mom, I always have. I just don't think it's fucking your guy. You know what I mean? Like there's a, there's a, I don't think it's a dog. But like, yeah, dude, like, it's hard to see the, the quote unquote, as cliche as this, miracle of life and think that this. is completely an accident.

Again, as I've always said, I don't think, I didn't look at this baby and go, oh my God, the Abrahamic religions are correct. You know, it was just like it does feel like something. Like, it'd be so wild to me if by, by just random chance, yeah, there was something that turned my wife into a superwoman. Like, it seems like something's controlling that.

Yeah, that's so wild. All right. slightly change the direction, but very similar vein of a question. There's this whole thing. You even have a bit about it, but you're going to, you know,

you turn conservative as you age. Yeah. And I had a thought in the shower the other night where me and Andy may need to move. And I was thinking about where to move. And I was thinking about gentrification. Yeah. And I was like,

oh, I don't give a shit. I got to help this baby. And then I was like, Is that why our generation's not getting more conservative as we age? We're not having kids. So, right. And that's a great fucking point.

Obviously, I'll never be like, well, I love my kids. So fuck trans people. And I don't even mean to say I love my kids. So fuck poor people or fuck brown people or whatever the marks of gentrification you want to point out. But I was just like, oh, I can't afford to work. about that. I'm not rich enough and I got to take care of the baby which I guess you can make

an argument. There's a lot of like leftists who like point out that gentrification has more to do with developers and less to do with this is the only apartment I can afford. Well dude, here's how I think about it because you know yes I've got that bit it's because as everybody knows

everyone from around here as soon as me and Amber got pregnant like not everyone from around here but a great many people was like yeah well, you know, when you have that baby, we'll see how liberal you really are. And then some people went as far as to say, I'm so glad this is happening because maybe you'll change some of your views politically. And so, yeah, I did the bit of like the bit goes like, I had this kid and I'm looking at it. I'm like, oh, my God, I love you so much that I just think that we should put brown ones in cages and fuck, you know, whatever, because it doesn't make sense.

None of that makes sense. With what you're saying about the gentrification thing, yeah, I do think that that specific. part of liberalism, maybe, like, you do get selfish, not for your race, but for you as a person, because now you're, like, it doesn't, the only thing I need to do is take care of this baby. But on, but on the broader things, I, what I was just talking about you earlier when I opened this episode, I now more than ever think that single mothers need financial assistance from the government. I now more than ever believe that. Yeah, and abortions.

Yes, and abortions. And I believed it before, but having a baby didn't make me conservative. It made me way more liberal because I was like, dude, it serves the greater good if we can help these people out. Because let's face it, that single mother and that kid, if they don't have benefits, if they have a hard life, it's just because of how this works, that kid has more of a chance of turning to crime. That's how that works. Because crime is not a race thing, it's an opportunity thing for the most part. So I'm like it would benefit the greater good if we gave all babies the best possibility in life because they wouldn't have to turn to crime. They would have a healthier mentality, like all this shit.

So it went into complete overdrive. And then the second point, the one thing that that's huge was conservatives is the Second Amendment. That baby's going to be in fucking school in four years. And so you think that I'm going to all of a sudden be more comfortable. with the fact that we have people that have access to guns that could go into school and shoot my fucking kid? Are you kidding me? So like,

I don't get it. Yeah, that one's weird because it's like, now that you got a kid, don't you want me to have a gun? No, Dale, you're stupid.

Not your dad, Dale. I know. It's just a very red-ass name. So like, yeah, I'm with you. I mean,

honestly, I just had that thought and I thought it was funny. And I could make a pretty convincing argument, I think that like, I mean, dude, I fucking moved to Harlem the first time I moved to New York. Like, I don't think I've never, I think I've always been like, maybe it's a cop out, but I think I've always been like, yeah, maybe when I got money, I'll worry about whether I'm a gentrifier, but until then, people ain't supposed to move.

It ain't my fault. The whole fucking, uh, the whole fucking, uh, development industry is ruined cities. It is interesting to think about, um, I guess like, I don't know, ways you're going to change as a a person, if you're going to get more little C conservative, meaning it has nothing to do with politics. Yeah, right. But like, don't drive so fast. I'm definitely, wear a helmet, drink less.

That's dangerous. Yeah. I can't do that. And I think that the drive to the don't drive too fast, I've actually always been that. I don't know why. My dad's a slow driver or whatever, but like usually I don't get, I've never been a road rage person.

If I did, it was all self-inflicted. I wasn't mad at the way anyone was driving. I was just mad while I was having rage on the road, but at myself. But like, I was telling Amber, the, the scariest thing that I've done so far this week, the scariest thing in my life, and this is going to sound stupid, was driving my newborn son from the hospital to my house. I was fucking terrified. And because I was looking at, for the first time ever,

I was looking at the road with father lenses. I was noticing so many automobile infractions that I would have never noticed. Like I was just like, that guy's funny. I was like, you got in the fucking lane too early. Do you understand that if I was to go at the right time, you would teabone me? So you were mad too. Yeah, yeah, because I was like, do you not understand that I have a fucking child? And then I was just like, dude, you've done all this shit too and people have been mad at you.

So yeah, shit like that. Like, I'm definitely, whenever somebody speeds down my road, I do, I already get mad. But now, if I see a group of teenagers riding like crot truck at motorcycles down my road, I'm not, I won't call the cops because I don't want to call the cops and start a problem that could be bigger. But I will be closer to willing to be calling the cops than I am now. You know what I mean? Yeah, man, I do know what you mean. I think I'm going to have to do some work on that because I'm already such an anxious,

um, worst case scenario brain person. Yeah. And, you know, I could see myself because it's like, I was thinking about this too pretty recently. Uh, I think like Andy, Andy, Andy starting to show and I think it's like, opening my brain up a lot. I'm like, yeah. Oh, that, dude, that changes you when you see it, you know. Yeah.

So I'm like thinking about it. And I'm like, okay. if the kid gets hurt it's not just that I don't want the kid to get hurt it's also like the guilt that I'll feel oh and then Andy might hate me yeah yeah fuck there's a lot riding on this little

fucker yes how my life is set up without question dude I mean I think also we got fans and like they're cool but if Andy went on the internet and was like the baby died because Drew's an idiot, they'd all turn on me. Well, of course.

And like, you know, fair. Believe all women, I guess. I think me and Amber both had the realization at the same time when we had the kid. You know, it, Trey was, Trey mentioned this a couple podcasts back when he was telling me. He's like, hey, don't be upset if you're not a changed man immediately when the baby comes out. And I found that most of that to definitely be true.

Like, it came out. And immediately I was overwhelmed with love, but not to the like, you know, as one of my friends said, it was like an acid trip, dude. It wasn't like that. He goes, it takes, because it's going to take a little bit longer when, as we said, the woman has a nine month head start on you. Like, it's been in her for nine months. But now I am completely overwhelmed with it. It is insane. And me and Amber both had the realization at the same time, like, oh, we both love this thing more.

than we love each other. Yeah. More than we love each other. I'm looking forward to that. Yeah. No, it's kind of great. And I will say this, because of that, and because me and Amber are both on the same page, it's really weird because I would say that usually a pregnancy, the nine months of pregnancy and the baby being born could put a strain on a relationship because it's so tense.

There's hormones. There's all this shit. And I'm not just trying to be cheesy here. but like me and my wife have never loved each other as much as we do right now. Like the pregnancy, the pregnancy, and I don't mean this and I'm like, hey, guys, if you're in a bad relationship, just have a kid. It'll fix it. I don't mean that because me and Amber were, me and Amber were fine.

But like, you know, we would still like anybody, we would argue, we haven't argued one time since during the pregnancy because both of us had a single, a singular focus. We're like, hey, get that fucking baby out. You know, it took us five years to get pregnant. And now, get that baby out. get that baby out. God damn it. I got some golf tournaments to win. But we, but like now, you know, but I do think about that. I'm like, not only do I want to treat this baby right because he's my baby

and you should do that, but I'm like, how my wife feels about me is completely contingent on how good of a father I am right now. Because if I'm, I could still be the same exact Corey to her that I've always been, but if I'm slacking in the father department, she's not going to be a fan of mine. You know what I mean? So, like, I want to keep this good mood of us going. No, that all makes sense to me. And I'm looking forward to not being Andy's favorite person. I mean, it's going to be, it's going to be hard.

A little bit of one. I mean, there's going to be negatives to that. Don't get me wrong, Andy's a very loving and giving person. So there's going to be a little bit of like, oh, no. Yeah. I'm not anyone's favorite person anymore. You know what I mean? Because, like, I'm not having been my mom since grandchild number one.

And definitely this thing ain't going to change that. I'll simultaneously move up her list and down. Yeah. It'll be like what you said. My mom would be like, oh, my God, I love you so much more now that you've given me a grandchild. But you're still down the list because of the grandchild. Yeah. Love the grandchild way more.

Yeah. So, yeah, I'm looking forward to that, I think. It's all going to be wild. I, you know. Yeah. It's all going to be wild. So, yeah, man, three days. I mean, it's, I feel like you've given me the day to day.

I feel like you can't really. It would be like unfair for me to ask you about a perspective because you're in it. Oh, yeah, dude. You're in it. Like right now, Amber can be like, Corey, and then you just got to go. And then I just got to talk to the void. I'll tell you something that is probably going to sound stupid and also false. But to me, it has been like a revelation that I had that I did not.

expect to have that kind of changed my perspective on everything. I have a baby. Therefore, my life, which was 35 unbothered years of waking up whenever I wanted to, going to play golf whenever I want. And dude, in the last couple years,

we've been successful. Money's coming from comedy. If I am working, it's at a fucking nightclub with my best friends. Like, I've had a wonderful fucking go. The best life any guy could have, And now none of that is true in terms of like I have this thing that I have to take care of.

So there was part of me that was like my life just got a lot more complicated. But then I had this revelation and I've thought about it a lot over the past two days. It sounds stupid, but I think it's true. Really, the way I'm feeling, I'm scared, but I've also never felt more secure and more freed. because if you think about it one way, my life actually kind of got simpler. And let me explain. Not easier, simpler. Not easier.

Not easier. Yeah. That's huge different. Not easier, simpler. So before this baby, in my mind, my purpose in life was, A, to make people laugh, you know. And if you get money from that, wonderful. I have dreams of like, you know, I want us to win an Emmy. You know, I would love to, you know, all these career goals.

Like, I want to be in. movies. I want to do this. That's really complicated. And now my whole brain switched from all of that to my only job is to make sure that this baby has a good life and is taken care of. Like, that's it. Like that's fucking it. All that other stuff is, I want it. It's going to be great. But that's no longer my priority at all. And therefore, it's made, it's kind of made my worldview really simple. It's like, no, no, no, your only job in this world, the only thing that determines right now whether or not you are successful, because a lot of it was contingent on that. I have an ego, chip on my shoulder like we all do. And I was like, in order to be successful, you have to do this and you have to sell out Madison Square Garden or whatever.

And I'm like, no, in the grand scheme of things, the merits of my success are if this kid has a good life and never wants for anything. And therefore, it's fucking kind of simple, you know? Yep. Yeah, I think it does simplify things, and I've heard other people talk about that being a relief. I heard Sturgle Simpson talk about it. A lot of people in the arts especially, and it's also like it's easier to say no maybe to certain things and focus on what you want to focus on. Well, we've got 20 more minutes. I don't know if you want to, I mean, I'll keep talking about all my fears or if you want to like talk about the world.

it is 643 Eastern on Tuesday Donald Trump has not been arrested we all I think we should have known I think we should have known Trump wasn't going to get arrested when Trump said he was going to get arrested

That's so funny Yeah We all should have seen it Yeah I mean I do think he believed it I don't know. It's hard for me to think of why he would say it, but that didn't happen. To rile people up.

Roy Wood, I don't know why he would do that now and not later. Roy Wood Jr. had a great bid on it. He posted it from the comedy seller, which he was saying that that if Trump gets arrested, he'll come back stronger because Trump is basically a rapper. Yeah, right. And then if the Sanders wants to beat him, he's going to have to get shot. Shot nine times. Yeah.

That's great. And, but I'm with you in that. I never believe that it was going to happen because we've heard, I mean, dude, literally since 2016, liberals, lackminded as we are, have not every liberal, because there are some sane ones, have been like, he's going to look so good in an orange jumpsuit. And every single time that's happened, I'm like, guys, guys, that would be great. but you saying it with this conviction and sense of conviction. It sounds insane because it's not going to happen.

Like that's not, you know, like Nixon didn't go to jail. Bush ain't going to go to jail. Trump's not going to go to jail. And then when he said that he was, I was like, I almost got, because I've said everyone who thinks Donald Trump's going to jail is stupid. So there was part of me who was like, oh, God damn it. If he goes to jail, I was wrong. even though I want him to go to jail.

Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty obvious that we're not going to get what we want at this point. I think the other thing about cases like this, I haven't done anything like this in a while, and I've never done anything this high profile, but I don't think he was ever going to get arrested in the sense that even if they brought charges, they're going to be like, hey, once you come down here on Thursday and we'll process you.

Yeah. And they're not coming to his door. Unless he makes them. Yeah, right. And then that makes him a look a little guilty and blah, blah, blah. There's a part of me that wondered if that's what was going on where Trump was like, I'm going to make you come do it to piss people off.

But, you know, who knows? I can't keep up with any of that. What are the charges that people think it was going to be? It's some kind of money laundering scheme, if I'm not mistaken, which could also include fraud. It could include tax evasion, which, I mean, it kind of does. I mean, it's sort of what money laundering is. But as far as the actual charges, if that's what he's being generally accused of,

those are a few of the things that could be the specific charges on top of laundering, which is also a crime. I mean, look, the fact of the matter is there's almost a 0% chance that in his business career, Donald Trump has followed every single tax law. Of course not. He openly says that he don't. I mean, he's always like, yeah, I cheat. Come to hit for you guys?

And they're like, yeah. Yeah, it does. Eddie Guerrero. I don't, I'm not super sure I care. Like, if him getting arrested meant that there's no way he could run again, that would kind of hit for me. What I know for a fact from some insider type folk that the Republicans are planning to do is they want to get rid of him. Yeah, right.

But maintain his following. Yeah. So they would like to figure out a way to spend this of like the only way to, you know, get back at him for What they did to Trump is to do X or Y. Now, will that work? I don't fucking know. I would like for him to get arrested if he stays arrested or stay at trial or whatever. But, like, you know, if it's just going to be like, and then he got a fine and now he's running again and he gets to talk about how he's the victim.

I mean, this has been a problem with anti-woke culture. We've talked about this for years of like these people have figured out a way to be the bullies and the victims at the same time. And it's such a powerful place to be at. And other than that, I mean, I just, I struggle to care. it's hard for me right now to care, dude. I'm not going to make any leftist fans saying this, but, like, Joe Biden has been one of the most far-left presidents, which, you know, in this country, what does that mean?

Not yet, not much. At least until the fucking union busting thing, which I don't think I'll ever get over. It's just so unbelievably on its face stupid. And he's horrible when it comes to crime, which is one of my important things, and I know that. But economically, the dude's been, at least since FD, So I'm like, let's just focus on that.

But I don't know, man. It's bad. One thing I did want to ask you about, do you know anything about Cop City in your state? In my state? Yeah. No. Is that like on the wire when they had a specific place that everybody could do drugs,

but for cops? Everyone's joking that it will be like that. What it is is this forest outside of Atlanta that they're bulldozed. and to rebuild a replica of like seven or eight blocks. It's like basically a huge training center. And the whole thing is like, and dude, even killer Mike's like behind it.

He's like, this is going to bring business in here. We're going to have these cops come in for trainings. We're going to be the national leader in this. And this is how we, this is how we retrain cops. And then everybody with any fucking sense is like, yeah,

that's not at all going to be what it is. One of the reason I wanted to ask or bring it up is, a lot of people have been protesting it and they've made 42 arrests and charged them with domestic terrorism um instead of protesters instead of trespassing

which is at most what they could be charged with in my opinion right i've read fascism's here it doesn't die with Trump I mean that's why I guess that's kind of why I brought it up it's like together with it it is like I hope

I hope he goes in prison forever but like we are fascists yeah well I mean It's creeping in. Like, Trump couldn't have possibly happened the way that he happened if it wasn't for Reagan setting the groundwork for everything. So, like, it obviously, it starts with Reagan, but it doesn't, yeah, it doesn't. Trump's not the end point. Trump is like a new spark to get a new generation of, and it's worked kind of the same.

I mean, if you look back at like, you know, you're Michael P. Keaton, those type of dudes who were like the, the young Reaganites, the young Republicans, like they sort of followed the same blueprint in our age with Trump to sort of, they knew that like Republicans were like the Tucker Carlson bow tie wearing motherfuckers. And they wanted to, they wanted to cater to the young people. And young people are always going to be susceptible to hearing things like, say whatever the fuck you want, be a bully, but get to be the victim, like all that shit. So, like, yeah, it doesn't end with Trump. I don't know.

It's going to continue with people like DeSantis. And, you know, with like your Marjorie Tether Greens, which I don't know, like, how she, Trump is such, you've said this a million times. Like, Trump is such a singular person that, like, he can keep doing exactly what he does forever and everybody will love it. With a lot of these people, though, I do think that they have sort of a shelf life, which kind of hits for me. But, no, I mean, dude, I mean, you're, I mean, you're right. Like we know, I mean, it is for me too, but but then I look at Tennessee governor, Bill Lee, who is a much more, I'll say, disciplined and very religious fascist. And so it's just like, yeah, you know, I hope he goes to prison because it'll feel good, but like, I don't know what it's changing. Well, frankly, those are the most dangerous ones. I mean, the ones that like don't seem crazy.

they're just fundamentally believe all the same. I mean, that's why to me, like, Desantis running for president would be more of a lot than Trump because, like, he still, he knows how to play. He believes all that same shit, but he also knows how to play the system. You know what I mean? I don't think either of them believe a goddamn thing,

but that's, yes, I think he knows how to do the system a little better, although they've embarrassed themselves a couple of times in Florida. Like, the critical race theory thing had it to where the textbook company in order to follow the rules had to write that Rosa Park. was a person who wouldn't give up her seat to rude people? No context. Yeah.

And like, even... I'm not laughing because it's funny. I'm laughing at the audacity. Yeah, even in Florida, people were like, well, that ain't... You can't do that. Like, you can't... That ain't it.

So, I don't know, man. I didn't mean to bring us or the listeners down. I know that probably most of you, if you want to hear a talk about politics, you probably listen to skews. And if you want to hear me talk about, about politics, you're probably back shit crazy anyway. No, dog, I mean, no, I'm actually like, I'm more concerned about it, you know,

looping back to our first conversation about me having a child. I mean, I'm inarguably more concerned about all this shit right now than I've ever been because, like, it's not me, like, he's going to have to grow up in what's happening right now, you know? The New York Times has lately, culturally. and maybe always been pretty regressive. And even there, and I know there's some people listening, that's a liberal bastion.

Yeah, but I'm talking about like trans issues and free speech, alleged free speech issues. But anyway, they just put out a thing about global warming. I mean, like, dude, TikTok, baby, you know. Like I hope our kids are really good at, you know, eating berries and surviving in the woods because the water wars are coming. No shit, man. That's funny you say that about the New York Times because, like, it's impressive to me that they still have a huge leadership, a listenership or readership because of what I'm about to say.

Everyone from around here, yeah, your people, my people. Yeah, they look at the New York Times as, oh, yeah, that's that liberal rag. But every, like, die hard, actual liberal or especially progressive, since those two are, you know, different things. I see like they hate the New York Times now too because of how not liberal enough they are because of their they're in their defending JK rallying and they're you know and they hide it under these opeds right but it gets front page treatment. So like I'm sitting there going like who the fuck is this for anymore? And I guess the the answer is is that the New York Times is your like country club Democrat magazine. You know what I mean? It's the people who who they say I believe all these things.

but realistically they don't, they're fine. And so they're comfortable just saying those things. But behind closed doors, they're like, I don't know about this trans shit, though. Dude, I mean, there are no institutions in this country that are actually leftists with any power. Of course not. You know, like, conservatives here you say that and they're like, well, what about the New York Times? That's not a leftist magazine or newspaper at all. The Democratic Party is not leftist.

It's, you know, center left at best. And, you know, in spite of the good things I said about Joe Biden, said that like kind of threw my grid of teeth because it's like yeah it ain't saying much yeah um but anyway again i kind of want to change time i really just was like yeah go ahead well i looked at my phone i got sent an alert there's there's very well done fake pictures of trump being arrested now god damn it and he's like fighting or whatever so i was like oh shit you know and you were you were just pouring your soul out and i was like that's cool let me read this and then i was like Oh, he didn't get arrested.

I don't, I mean, I don't have a lot else other than the pregnancy stuff. I guess for me, to get back to that a little bit, is like, my life's already changed. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You know, it's like in that way, I'm not, the sleep I'm not excited about, but everything else, it's like, it's already changed, dog. For sure. And I feel that way, too. And I'm glad, you know, you were mentioning, like, the being older thing and how, like,

yeah, there's parts of that that make this harder, but there's so many that, to me, that make it easier just, like being prepared. Like, I don't, I don't like going out to bars anyways. I'm a homebody, so, like, I don't have that thing that 25-year-olds have of, like, missing out on other stuff and having to pause their life. And V's FOMO has already dissipated. It's very wild. Yeah, man, it's crazy. Amber has it, which is funny because, like, Amber was very, like, loving her pregnancy, but she's way more of an outgoing person than me. So, like, she did you know she would mention on occasion like oh every sunday all my friends are going to brunch

and i just hate that i can't go uh but right now i mean dude i mean frankly at this point in our baby having there's no even time to think about the shit that you're missing out on or whatever but yeah because we were older like and it took me a number five years to get pregnant i was mentally prepared for my life to be like this so it did change uh you know a while back uh but what like So is Andy because Amber never was hormonal at all. That's like the most stereotypical women get hormonal and they sort of start saying some wild shit. Has she been doing that because Amber never did? No, I mean, there's been slight mood swings and she's been like, whoa, that was kind of wild.

Yeah, it was really sad. And now I'm really happy. But she hasn't said anything wild. She hasn't done anything wild. She's also not super hungry yet. Yeah. Or have cravings yet. Now, we just entered the second trimester, which my.

My understanding is that's when, if that's going to happen, it starts to happen. But, I mean, I'm going to be honest. I'm hoping for it. Because my understanding is that also comes with horniness. And I'm pumped about that. Yeah, not to put my wife out on Front Street. But I'm not saying that while she was pregnant, she herself was pouncing on me. But I will tell you this, I never heard the word no one time during pregnancy.

And she was, and I also don't want to be like the. the 90s comic that's like, my wife always says she has a headache. I'm not saying that my wife constantly told me no. But of course, there were times where she was like, yeah, not tonight. And that's respectable and fine. And I fucking get it. And honestly, I don't care because I'm not like a fucking horny-ass guy anyways. But like during pregnancy, never got told no once.

We did it. And sometimes I would just like, it would be like seven in the morning. And she would just kind of roll over. And I was like, let's see how far I can go with this. I was like, hey, you want to do it? And she would go, yeah, if you want to. And that's as horny as she gets as, yeah, if you want to. But like, never fucking said no.

I was blown away. So, yeah, I don't know. Like, you're in for a fucking hell of a ride if that's true for you. Yeah, I mean, well, I just want to get weird one more time. One last run of weirdness. I mean, you know who she's up for that. And also, dude, I want to fucking get fat kind of because I've got a pretty good workout regimen going.

And my boys and I were going to Bonnaroo. That's another thing me and Andy are doing, like one last rue. Oh, she's going? Right on. Yes, she wants to. I was like, okay, I was like, you're going to be pretty pregnant. And if we go and you have to leave, I'll drive you home. But I'm coming.

Yeah, right. Yeah. But anyway, me and my, like me and Brian and some of my friends are, we're trying to get in shape or Bonnaroo because we're going to dress naked all the time. Yeah, of course. But I'm saying I'm saying I have to say, I've got a pretty good regimen going where I can be fat, but still, like, have big arms, big chest. and use that for fuel to go work out.

Yeah. Dude, I want to put pickles in ice cream. I know that's a common one. Like, I want to do all that. I'm hoping that she's like, you know, middle of the night, listen, can you just fucking go to Target and get me a dark chocolate and then dip it in hot sauce? I'm going to like, yes, let's do that right now. I can't wait. Yeah, we're not doing anything weird right now food-wise, but we do have like a, you know, when you live in a small town, like everybody's there for you.

So like we've got a, they call it a meal train going where everybody is like in charge of bringing us stuff. And like, you know, I for the past year and a half have not been like insanely strict on my diet, but I've done better and I'm a big salmon and greens guy. But during all this, I don't have time to even do anything for myself. So I've, I've been like, well, I guess I'll eat the baked spaghetti. I mean, I don't have any other option. So like I only gained, I only gained like. Like, what I did during Amber's pregnancy was I didn't really, I gained four pounds, but then kind of lost it. I just, what I happened was me was I hit a plateau where I had been losing and then I stopped losing and just kind of maintain.

But now is the time I think when I'm going to get fat again because I don't, not only do I not have time to work out for the next two weeks. I, even if I carved out a little time, I don't have the fucking energy dog. Like I don't, you can't be, you can't be doing like cardio and heavy weights when you. You've slept for a total of four hours in two days. I'm not going to do it. So I can see, you know, I can see that fucking. Damn, I didn't think about that. I'll be able to eat, but I may not be able to work out as much.

But that's afterwards. Yeah, dude, meal trains, meals and trains. That's what I'm looking forward to in the second trim. That's right. Guys, he did it. He brought it home. Speaking of branding at home, we've done our time here. We started on time.

Let's end it on time. everybody, Trey and I are going to be, oh, if you're listening right now and you haven't watched our comedy special, I hope you have a decent excuse.

And there are many, there are many decent excuses. There are. So I'm not seeing everyone. Yeah, there's one. That's why you haven't seen it, but you better have listened to it.

I'm good in Braille. Yeah. I have better abs. I think to, wait, I lost my turn. Oh, if you are hearing that Corey has a new baby

and you know that, I have one on the way. Like, what do you, come on. What are you doing? Support us. That's baby money. Also, you're going to love it. It's very funny.

So if you are listening right now and you're one of those few people, or you're just like, why I like you guys on the podcast, I don't know about your stint. Just take a flyer on it. Just give a shot. I can tell you this without question. Never been more confident of anything in my life. If you are a really big fan of this podcast, therefore you think that we're good at podcasting, I assure you.

that we are 100 times better at stand-up than we are at podcasting. At least. Dude, at least. And speaking of supportness, we've got our other shows. I've got putting on airs with Trey. Drew has Gravy Baby. And since, you know, I'll go ahead and use my baby to make a little money. I'm off the road right now trying to be the big-time dad.

So you can support me over at part-time funnyman.com. There's bonus blogs, essays. poems, videos. I'm about to start a brand new podcast about fatherhood over there, part-time funnyman.com. It's five bucks a month, or if you can't afford it, you can just have it for free. So there you go.

That's a great plug. Come see me and Trey in Portland. Corey and I are going to be in Asheville and Knoxville in May. I think I've got some other dates. I about ran out of them. I had plenty this month. For the people who did come out this month, shout out to the folks who were backing me up there in Santa Rosa.

Damn, I wish I'd have brought this up, Corey. but we are at a time. I had a heckler scream. January 6th was not a crime at me. It's Santa Rosa. Yeah, I was doing a don't tell comedy show. For the people who don't know, the way don't tell works is that it's supposed to be a secret headliner. Now, I went ahead and put it out there that I was going to be there because I wanted my people to come, but I didn't push it real hard because I was trying.

So my point is, I posted the clip of it and people are like, why was this lady at your show anyway? It's like, because this is a normal, just regular ass. Anybody can come comedy show in wine country. country. So, anyway, I wanted to thank those folks that came out. I met a couple of them afterwards. I don't want to shout anybody out by name. I don't know if they want me to.

But it's always cool to meet a park ranger. I'll say that. Thanks for coming out, everybody. That's right. And thank you all for listening to The Well Red Show. We'd love to stick around longer, but we got to go. Tune in next week if you've got nothing to do. Thank you.

God bless you. Good night. you.