wellRED podcast - #316 - Sean Patton is Number One!!! (Featuring Sean Patton... duh)

Episode Date: March 29, 2023

A special treat for yall this week as the boys sit down with Sean Patton! Sean gives tips on how not to get mugged in New Orleans, the difference between "killing" and being funny, and talks about how he put together the set for his new special Number One!(available on Peacock!)Check out Sean's special RIGHT NOW so you can find out why he's one of every comedian's favorite comedians!Also, check out MeSeanPatton.com for his tour dates (some with David Cross!) and more stuff you need to know about Sean!Remember to check out all the other podcasts in the Skewniverse: Puttin On Airs, Gravy Baby, Weekly Skeewsgo to wellredcomedy.com for tickets to see us and solo dates with Trae!Patreon.com/TraeCrowder for bonus TraePartTimeFunnyMan.com for bonus Corey!

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion, because used to you, you like had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie. I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now. Skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people. People across the skew universe, I should say.

Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year? Do you even know? Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery? Getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low mane? Because that's a thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better.

And it's called Rocket. money. Rocket money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket money shows all your expenses in one place, including subscriptions you already forgot about. If you see a subscription, you don't want any more. Rocket money will help you cancel it. Their dashboard lays out your whole financial picture, including the due dates for all your bills and the pay days. In a way that's easier for you to digest, you can even automatically create custom budgets based on past spending. Rocket money's 5 million members have saved a total of $500 million in canceled

subscription with members saving up to $740 a year when they use all of the apps. Premium features. I used Rocket Money and realized that I had apparently been paying for two different language learning services that I just wasn't using. So I was probably like, I should, I should know Spanish. I'll learn Spanish. And I've just been paying to learn Spanish without practicing. any Spanish for, you know, pertinent two years now or something like that. Also, a fun one I'd said it before, but I had a, I got an app, lovely little app where you could, you know, put your friends' faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got, I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like

twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies, you know, those weren't a little like the cue ball looking twin fellas. Yeah. So that was that response to? What was that a reply gift for just when I did something stupid? Something fat and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first, but then I quit using it and was still paying for it and forgotten.

If it wasn't for Rocket Money, I never would have even figured it out. So shout out to them. They help. If you money dumb like me, Rocket Money can help. So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with RocketMoney. Go to RocketMoney. com slash well-read today. That's RocketMoney.

money.com slash well, R-E-D, rocketmoney.com slash well-read. And we thank them for sponsoring this episode of the podcast. They're the... Y'all, we got a special treat for you today on the show, Sean Patton, one of, I tell you this, whoever your favorite comic is, Sean Patton is one of their favorite comics. I can say that about all three of us. Sean is absolutely amazing. He's a dude that we have all heard about for, I mean, 10, 12 years of this is the guy.

And you can check out his new special, number one on Peacock right now. And we're so, so glad that more people are getting to see what all of us comics have known for a very, very long time. Sean Patton is at the top of the list on dudes who should be bigger than they are. Don't even wrong. Sean has carved out a wonderful career. I'm just telling you he deserves more. And after you listen to this interview, which might be the best we've had on Well Red, you will agree. He is hilarious.

He is insightful. He is a thought-provoking man, but coming at you from a silly space, which, as you know, I respect a lot. We had a wonderful time. The boys sat down with him in the Starburn studio, and I was happy to tag along via Zoom. so you're about to enjoy a wonderful sit down with the hilarious, the talented, Sean Patton. Before that, as you know, go to traycrouter.com or well-read comedy.com for all of our dates. The boys are going to be in Portland next weekend. Sands me because I'm on paternity leave with my new baby boy.

But filling in for me is the very hilarious Tushar Singh. Also go to patreon.com slash Trey Crowder for Bonus Trey. Remember to listen to Drew's new podcast, Gravy Baby, listen to me and Trey's podcast, which is about to celebrate its one-year anniversary, putting on airs. And for bonus me stuff,

you can go to part-time funnyman.com. There's bonus podcasts, there's bonus essays, there's poems, there's videos, I read erotica, whatever you want. It's just a lot of fun. That's part-time funnyman.com. You can subscribe for $5 a month or you can just get it for free. It's the same.

It doesn't matter. You can, like I said, if you would like to give me $5 a month, that's great. But you can also view the same thing for free because I don't want money to come between anyone and enjoying my particular brand of silliness. Hey, I've talked enough about myself. I've talked enough about the guys. Let's get on with this interview with Mr. Sean Patton. Everybody. You guys ever go to Birmingham, Alabama?

Oh, yeah. Frequently. Downtown, there's like a waffle house in the town square, right? And it's the only, I walked in there once. I was there doing a festival. The place was a total fucking chaos, but there was no one in there. And I sat at the bar, and this woman comes out, and she goes, Huh, you can order if you want, but my entire staff just quit on me.

So I'm going to be the one making you the food, and I'm not a cook. And I felt bad, so I was like, no, it's fine. And I just got what I was going to. I still got the All-Star special because I'm fucking a glutton. And it was the best. Oh, really? She made it with such care. Yeah.

While just venting about her day. And I was like, yeah, just coffee and orange juice. And it was just like, this is the best waffle I've ever had at Waffle House. You missed out on a golden opportunity because she 100% would have let you get back there and cook it had you asked her. I thought you were going to say something I mean you know what Maybe that was a golden opportunity I'm not

I'm not dirty I'm fat I'm dirty I don't know what's up with Barb There's another one in Athens that's like that It's like on the town square Right in the middle of And that's where we were that night That Corey

What did you do? Did you set by him? Set by who? That guy had trapped those ladies Oh yeah Yeah This guy like sat down of the booth with these ladies and like they were like don't sit here and then they were like can

we like let us out and he wasn't being mean but he was like come on hell yeah you guys are give me your number and then uh what we're georgia frat boy yeah yeah like classic yeah that like pleaded khaki new balance go dogs yeah yeah i don't remember what i did because i think he threw fries at him i think he started throwing fries at him yeah yeah something like that just Trying to be a fucking gentleman, you know. Yeah. So we're good, right? Aristotle, we're good.

We're going right on. Well, we're in it, everybody. We are joined today by the illustrious, the inimitable, Sean. Yeah. That was coming through. Oh, I know. You're right. I was banging on the table drum.

Hey, Sean. I mean, the pleasure's all mine. I've never been called illustrious or what was the second one? Inimitable. Oh, that's a good one. I think that's like perfectly describes you. I feel like, yeah, you're one of a kind, man. Well, definitely illustrious.

This is the pot calling the kettle black. This is the pot calling the cops on the kettle right now. So Sean is a fantastic comedian originally from New Orleans, which I want to talk quite a bit about. Sure. But you're based in New York now. I have in New York, live in Brooklyn. Right on. I love it.

I love it. People love to shit on Brooklyn. But it's like, you know, yeah, it's pretty great. I think it's pretty great. You got like a lot of things. white people like it's like it's fun the shit on but like j crew makes nice clothes yeah that's why the rich people are buying them yeah i live in i live in bed style which still it still has some of it's like there's a lot of integrity to that neighborhood still yeah so you still get there's still

parts where you could tell like white people are nervous walking around i'm like that's hilarious to me yeah that's fucking hilarious like it's but it's necessary because otherwise everything would just become target and right you know you need some pushback yeah yeah um so didn't you used to do a joke about gentrification in that in that particular neighborhood. I saw you at uh, I saw you in New York a couple times at one of the, uh, UCB shows. And. Oh, I did. Yes. Yeah. I remember you had a great bit about gentrification and like maybe you had just moved to that area or something. I don't remember the bit, but I just remember it was fucking hilarious. I wanted to tell you that. Well, thank you. But I do remember because it was I, when I first moved to New York, I lived in Bushwick. Yeah. Which was still like,

you know, rough around the edges. But, you know, a good neighborhood. You just, if I don't, here's a theory. And this is, I know there's a thousand experts out there who would want to prove me wrong on this, but I believe this in my heart. Nowhere is dangerous if you're not a fucking idiot. Okay. Well, again, well, this is coming from a native, native New Orleans guy. So I feel like you've got.

Yeah. And if you're a dumb ass and stumble into the wrong neighborhood and act like you're a fucking own it. There's a thing I call tourist privilege. Because it's growing up in a tourist city, you see it and living in a tourist city now, you see it a lot. People who think that because they're. spending money on vacation that they're untouchable. Yeah. That there's some sort of like law that a, come on, you can't fuck with them.

They're here. They got their whole family. They're staying at the Marriott. They're spending money at restaurants so they can walk down the street in your neighborhood and act like it's there to fucking entertain them. Right. And it's like, no, mug that person. Yeah.

Mug that. Like I almost want to become like a mug, like a, like a, pro mug. No, like it's not, I'm pro mugging for idiots. Yeah. I think it's mostly people. I'm sure there's innocent mugging victims, but you know. Well, what are your, like, what are your rules or whatever, or the standards that you should go up to avoid being an idiot who then gets,

who deserves getting mugged? Remember that you are visiting a city. Yeah. Treat it with respect. Don't piss all over it. That's specific to New Orleans. Secondly, if you wander into a neighborhood that you're not familiar with, figure it out. Okay.

Remember how you got there. Don't walk around loudly, drunkenly shouting. at locals like, hey, where, why can't I find my way back to, you know, Bourbon Street slash Frenchman Street or New York, if you get lost in New York, you're just kind of an idiot. I'm sorry, I'm saying that out loud. It's a grid. It's a fucking grid. I get it in the West Village, maybe, but the rest of it's like, wait, I'm at 15th and 3rd.

I'm supposed to be at 16th and 25th. How is that supposed to work? What am I to do? I'm like, oh, no, stay here. Get a mugged real quick. But that's, you wouldn't get mugged that, right? But like, I saw it a lot in New Orleans growing up. Just idiots who like are shitfaced and they're in the quarter or they're uptown and they stumble towards like neighborhoods where people are living.

So. And they act as if like, oh, sorry, I'm just here spending money in this shit hole. And it's like, yeah, you're going to get that. Well, I got a specific story about that with a group of friends I was with once. But it happened in like the quarter or whatever. But the very dumbass behavior is super apparent in this story. We were somewhere down in the corner near the casino or something. One of my redneck buddies bought some Coke, right? And then we go back to the hotel room and find out that, no, he had not bought Coke.

Yeah, imagine that. He had bought, you know, fucking bacon soda mixed with whatever. It was just total bullshit, right? And we were like, well. How did you guys find that out? What experiment did you guys do? We bought one of those proper test kits and broke out the beakers and whatever else. Nice.

Yeah. So you call your nose the bicker? Yes, the old-fashioned way. Whatever we buy Coke, we sprinkle a little into a thing of biscuits. To see if it rises or not. It's Mamaw's old trick. It'll rise me or it. So anyway, this happens and we're like, well, that's a bummer.

You know, what are you going to do? We go out and do our thing, get drunk and everything later that night. So now it's like one or two in the morning. It's late. There's fewer people out. We see that same dude. How sure are you? It was that same dude.

It definitely was the same dude. I might have been being racist there. No, no, no, no. I believe Trey. I don't believe that his friend would have known, but I believe that Trey would have known. Because I was like, so we see the same dude, and the guy who bought it is like, there's that some bitch who sold me or whatever. And immediately, I'm like, oh, no.

Oh, no, no, no. And he, like, runs across the street up to him. And it's like, hey, buddy, what the fuck? And, of course, this dude immediately, like, brandishes a weapon. You know what I mean? Like, hey, what the fuck you do? And then, my buddy, like, 180 just. like that. Like, you know, like, it just hit him all at once, like, oh, right.

Pause, zoom in. A drug dealer. In New Orleans, maybe I shouldn't be, you know, running up on this dude demanding a refund. I got a receipt. Yeah, right. And I thought for a second, you know, it was going to go away worse than it did. But my buddy backed down immediately. He was like, oh, right. I'm sorry. You're right. I apologize, sir. I didn't read the contract. And then we left. So, yeah. So the last time we were all there together, now, Corey's a father. So this is a father. So this is a father. So this. This wasn't him. We're all doing a show. Yeah. This wasn't Corey.

This was a different guy like Corey. We were sitting around. We were outside of a bar. My kid's not old enough. We can talk about me doing cocaine or fake cocaine. And the cocaine wasn't the problem to me. Wait a minute. Hold on a second.

Has no one ever called a focane? Oh, that's great. And spelled the New Orleans way. The French way. New Orleans way, yeah. We got a bunch of fucking. Guess what? Hey, you heard it here first.

trademark that, buddy. This is a collaboration, Sean Patton, well-read merch. Focane Cowboys. Oh, that's great. That's a great name for some of those Nashville artists. Yeah, it is. I got my Focaine Cowboy Boots on there. I can't wait to see them.

They're new, right? I got my own ones back from the cobbler today. Anyway, pretty excited. So we're there. We're outside of this bar right off of the quarter where my friend Russell was supposed to come meet us to take us to like a better place he's a local or whatever and uh it's a it's that place that's right off the quarter that's got it's got pool tables like i can stand hanging out there there's like

there's like mostly locals there tourists don't like it because it's gross and russell comes up and i'm greeting him and i'm talking to him or whatever and i don't know who told us one of cori's friends i was like wait where'd cori go and he got and his friend was like oh he just he went like around the corner to buy some drugs yeah and russell is a public defender in the world like his face and Russell's like the calmest coolest guy like he's almost like well he is like medicatedly calm you know what I mean he goes what he what core did what and he's like freaking out and then I'm starting to freak out and we start calling Corey and for whatever reason his phone won't ring it's like going straight to voicemail and then you'll have to tell him where you are and what went down oh buddy I don't remember I uh I was very because we'd been at that bar for a while and I was we were hammered I don't think we had a show we didn't have a show that night it was like the next next night or something. We either came earlier,

or stayed a day late, yeah. And my buddy, Robbie was there. Go to uncle bod.com slash buttercream, and Robbie will work you out for a discount. He's a wonderful trainer. This is exactly when I should plug him. Robbie was there. Plug him while he was meeting the plug.

Yeah, but when I'm with Robbie, like, y'all know me. I mean, I'll, I will, I don't party anymore, but back then I could be a little crazy, but never more crazy than when. You were a degenerate. Why are we trying to doubt? Me too.

There's a reason you're on Zoom right now. And not in studio. My bracelet will go off. But yeah, but like when Robbie's around, I throw all caution into the wind. Like normal me, even if he likes to party, probably wouldn't follow a stranger in New Orleans to get drugs. But with Robbie, I will. So, yeah, that's really the part that I remember. And then I came back.

You didn't come back with drugs because you said that he took you, like, you were inside and you started freaking out. Yes, yes. There was that. I'm a very paranoid person. And I want to say that I want to say that like I had given him the money and then he gave it to me and I immediately went to give it a taste and realized that it was fake and was like I got to get the fuck out of here. You know what I'm saying? I have to like fuck my money. It's not about my money. It's just that like this is a scam. If I stay around any longer, he's going to be like he knows my drugs are fake. So I got to fucking kill him. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Dude. So on my 18th birth. my aunt cookie who was sort of estranged from the family but um you know still family she came over to my house gave me a card a birthday card with a hundred dollars in it right and to me that was that was a fucking gold mine right i remember it was so much that when my mom asked how much she gave me i told her 40 because i didn't i didn't want her to try and take her cut yeah and so like me

and like two of my boys, we like go to Bourbon Street that night to be like, we got a hundo baby, you know, just going fucking, and it's like, you know, we burn up half of it in eight minutes. Because, but, you know, New Orleans back then, it still is very easy to drink in as a minor, but back then you only had to be 18 to get into a bar, but 21 still to buy booze. I think that might still be the case. And how would they differentiate with a, with an X on your hand? You could wipe it right off.

Yeah. I think it was more of a litmus test. I think some of them. Well, dude, but this is how dumb I was smart enough to figure. That was the same thing where I went to college, Cal College of Tennessee. We had the same system, right? But I came back from the bathroom and yelled to my buddy who was like 22 or whatever. I was like, dude, I just wiped it off.

It was super easy. And there's a bouncer, like standing on the other shoulder or whatever. I was like, he was fucking nothing. Dude, you just think your fingers wipe it off. Simple. And then I turn around and he's like, all right, let's go. I was like, no, I was just doing a bit. I was just kidding.

He just, he writes one on your forehead With like permanent marker Yeah, wipe that off But anyway, go ahead Where I'm from in some places The only way that you have to prove your 21 Is just if you have $100 You're 21

You know what I mean? Yeah Well that was also on Bourbon Street There's all those like beer stand Little, he's walking, but they don't care But we were just drinking beers But I remember this dude walks by And he's just going smoke, smoke smoke, smoke

Right? And my dumb ass at 18 was like, weed And I remember he looked at me with this like What the fuck are you doing man? Yeah Come on. But I was like, oh, yeah, I want to dime. Yeah, we can get some weed.

He's like, all right, walk with me. Walk with it. He's just scraped weight. He was so stupid. But like, all three of us start walking with this dude, and he stops. No, no, just you. Y'all stay here. We're like, all right, fuck it.

We're doing this. And he walks me off bourbon back into the, but still the quarter. And he's like, all right, listen, don't turn around. There's a guy right now following us. He's a cop. Don't look. Don't look. And at the time, I'm like, fuck.

But realizing, in retrospect, yeah, nice, nice, That was a nice little touch. But he's like, I'm walking with me, walk with me, all right? I'm putting a weed in your pocket. I put a dime back. And I have like a jean jacket on. And I feel him put something in my pocket. He's like, I put the weed in there, give me the money.

I gave him a 20. And he's like, go meet your friends back where we left him. I'll come back with you change. Don't turn, but don't turn around. Like, all right, I'm not getting that change back. I'm not that now. Whatever, fine. And I make the block.

I go, find my buddies. They're still there. Kind of surprised I came back that quick. We walk off to go fucking, I got a dime. We go like off bourbon again on the other side to like roll a joint or whatever and we pull it out. And it is a little bag. I'm going to give you got. What do he guess was in there?

Oregano. Irregono. Classic. Would love it. Would love it if it were. Right. At least you got something. I hope it was like a card that said you've been had.

Tobacco leaves? That'd be a hilarious little trick. I'd be like, ah, I'd keep that still. Anyone else? One more guess. Oh, man. Okay. Can I ask a question?

Did it in any way resemble weed or drugs? In the most morbid, twisted... Ashes. Okay, ashes would have been great. It was... Buggers! Buggers! A little mini dime bag, one of those little dime bags,

stuffed to the brim... No sugar, just the bugger. I've got to say, like, that's its own commitment, dude. Of course. Picking that many boogers to, like, Like fill up a dime bag, multiple dime bags. If you're running a whole scam based on boogers. How long did it take, like, were you like immediately?

I don't think I've ever seen a bag full of boogers. I promise you, it is it. Your brain, you will be surprised how quickly your brain goes, that's boogers. It's a whole different sticky icky. I got a bag, but no, there was like a, like a we all like took, like, dude, that, that is boogers. That's not red hair. That's blood, you know? Oh, my God.

Yeah, it was, and I mean, the coup d'etat was my friend finally just, like, opened. It was like, yeah, I think that's buggers. But then that led to a whole philosophical conversation of, like, what do buggers smell like? Right, because we're always smelling them, technically. We're all smelling buggers 24-7. You've been here something super, super weird? And I said this to somebody recently, and they got grossed out, and I don't know why. But I can smell when someone has a sinus infection.

East? Jesus Christ. I don't know what it is. I've heard people claim this before. Does anybody here have a sinus infection? No. Okay, good. I used to perpetually have one, though.

so I guess I smell like shit to him all the time. It's not super, it's a little sour. It's like I first noticed it with my wife. Like every time her breast smelled a certain way, she had a sinus infection. And then I started noticing it like at certain times a year. Like playing basketball, you're guarding a dude and you're like, oh, and then you get sick the next fucking day. So anyway, maybe booger smell like whatever the fuck. It'd be hilarious if you were in the MCU and that was your only talent.

There are people. I was thinking the exact same thing. There are people I think who can, like that's not an isolated. thing. Like there's, maybe they could train dogs to smell a certain. I'm a dog. Or something.

But I think there's also, there have been people who can smell diseases on other people or whatever. Yeah, me. Now I just love the idea of like low rent MCU. Like you can smell sinus. We can guess the same thing at the same time always. Yeah. It helps no one.

It's funny if they were trying to make me like be able to smell cancer. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we were trying to create this guy so he could, you know, snuff out cancer quickly. And it's like, nope, just sinus. Well, it's a start. Yeah, if I ever found that guy again, I just want to know, like, did you have multiple bags of burgers? Right. Or just one for like the ultimate sucker of the night.

I know. Which was me. See, I have these questions. You got 20 bucks for a bag of bucks. Because you said weed. That made him mad. Yeah. I got these questions.

That's what, because that's what I'm saying. Like, that's, you know, are they all his boogers? He running a bugger operation? It's like, that's a lot of boogers. I bet you could convince people. hey, give me some of your boogers, you know, like that. I'd do it. A dollar per burger.

Bugger, yeah. I'm sorry. I got a booger racket in the French quarter for some 18-year-olds. If somebody tried to buy my boogers, I think nothing would scare me more. I mean, that's someone. I love that idea of like, like, listen, man, like negotiating. Like $2 a booger. That's my final offer.

I don't know. Why do you want these? Why do you care? They're just boggers. It's a seller's market. But he's also got to keep his, like, you know, his cost of goods sold and everything in mind with that. You know what I mean? It's like even the dumbest teenager, all I can get for the whole bag of boogers is $20, which means I can't.

Which means I can't spend more than, you know, a buck of booger. Because how, I don't know, man. That's going to eat into my margins. 50 cents a bugger before they're thinking about it. How big was the bag? I was about it said. It was like one of those little dime bag. Yeah, full of boogers.

Yeah, full of boogers. Was it like bulging out full of bollug? Bougars or just like Bougars at the bottom? No, it was definitely stuffed to the fucking brim, like a full bag. Just shake buggers. Buggers at the bottom is the Fokane Cowboys' first album. Bougars at the bottom. Bougars at the bottom, Fokane Cowboys.

So, yeah, so I've always said that New Orleans is my favorite city in this country because it's so much fun. And also, like, I'm a fat kid. I love food. For me, a big part of the, probably the thing I like the most about traveling as much as I do is all the different food and stuff. Oh, sure. You get drunk anywhere.

Right, yeah. But New Orleans, I think, has the best food and the best drinking and all that. And it's just rad. I think it's also different than every other city of America. Definitely. Yeah. Fulturally. Very European.

Who just said that? Did you say that? European. They both did. At the same time. Same time. They both said. Nice.

You had that skill. You said it. Because I remember one time, my, another friend of mine who had gone to Europe when we were kids, he went to New Orleans. And he told me, he's like, it's kind of a European feeling place. And I've, it's one of those things I'll never forget because it pissed me off so much. At my old day job, I repeated that statement before I had been in New Orleans. I said, oh, yeah, my buddy said, it's a European type place.

And this girl that worked with me who was from New Mexico who thought I was a stupid redneck piece of shit, she was like, she immediately goes, well, like, I don't really think you can classify anything as being just European because Europe is such a, you know, it's made up of so many different, bad, yeah, so many different. places and whatever else. I know. And I was like, well, he's been to Europe and he said that, not me. And she just wasn't having it. She used to brag about drinking coconut milk before when you could only get it at Korean grocery stores. That was her line. But anyway. Oh, dude, that's, trust me, that kind of shit. That I hate, I don't like anybody that weaponizes their education. Right. Yeah. Because the thing, I mean, and this is, I know, this, this, this will probably piss people off, but I don't care. I don't think, I don't look at high, high education. as a super achievement because no one decides to get a larger education until they're already fucking educated. Right. See what I mean? Like, when you're a fucking kid, no one, no child is like, I want to go get a bachelor's degree. You know what I mean?

Like we're all forced in the school. No one wants to do it at first, but you end up doing it. And then once you understand how important education is, then you decide to further it. But people, like, people, there's some people out there who use their education. Like, I did this. Well, also, some of it is people that just don't want to leave. Like, they're rich kids and they know their parents will pay for their college. And they're like, fuck it.

Fuck the real world. But also, Chad Daniels used to have that bit about, I think now his ex-wife, but his wife at the time was a PhD and some kind of fancy sciencey thing or something. And he had this bit about how, like, everybody thinks she's brilliant because of that. He was like, yes, she's like really smart about that one thing. He was like, she don't know shit about all kinds of other stuff, you know. And that's how a lot of those people, you know, like. I think education is important, obviously. but people who like use it as like oh but i've i studied that it's like but did you live it

yeah it's like the thing that's going on with kids with the kids in schools and who go i mean i want to bring it down but you know like they're like let the gun experts handle it and like oh you mean someone who's probably never had a weapon fired at them though right just studied also someone who's obsessed with guns yeah yeah it's always somebody who's fucking a gun or that's funny because someone once used on me the fact that i didn't go to college as a reason why I couldn't have the opinion. I think we need to do something about the guns. As if I would have learned that, Corey, I don't take it back.

Well, also, like, someone, I forget who this was. I was having this. This was years ago. It was a playful argument, but it was someone who, like, studied Cuban and American relations for years talking about how Cuba was, but I was like, wait a second, though, you're wrong. I've been to Cuba. It doesn't work like that. Right, right.

I've actually been there. I was there for a week. we fucking saw Havana and it's not how that city is at all, what you're saying. And they're like, no, no, no, because traditionally this, I'm like, no, no, I was there. They're describing a textbook. You're describing something you learn that is maybe outdated or has changed. The perfect iconic representation of this, I think, is the scene in Goodwill Hunting where the smart ass in the bar tries to impress everyone because he knows stuff from a book. And Will Hunting knows all the same things, but is also unimpressed with himself knowing it because he's like,

You spent, you know, I can't do the line. You spent $250,000 to get the same thing you could have got with a card at the public library. Yeah. For a buck 50. Yeah. Yeah, but, yeah, there you go. That's an important part. Yeah, that's true.

It's like, in Boston, all library cards are $250,000. You would have known that was an important part if you'd go into college, Corey. Thank you. Thank you. So, I was just also going to say, I spent a lot of money going to law school, and I definitely went, like, almost like, as a way to high. It was almost like out of fear. And so like it was definitely motivated by a sense of perhaps never wanting anyone to be able to, you know, weaponize against me or something like that, you know. But like I as someone who's spent all that money in time, you're completely right.

I mean, intelligence is also, it's like, it's like use it. It's a gift. It's like it's like you don't one chooses to be intelligent or stupid from the birth. You know what I'm saying? Like you're born with a brain that function. I mean, yes, you choose what to do with that brain, how to use your intelligence or. not or should try to be smarter, but I feel like I hate smart people who look down upon anyone. Yeah.

I'm like, if you are intelligent, you have a gift. You should fucking use that shit. You should help people. You should try to make them understand. You should at least, that's why I blame where I feel like we're in this world where everything's just stupter now. Like being stupid is in. It's hip.

It's hip to be dumb and ignorant. And I don't blame idiots for that. I blame the intelligentsia. Right. blame a decade of smart comics and smart directors, like, looking down on the everyman. I think it's too, like, Bush kind of made it, President Bush, sort of made it, like, I remember back then everybody would call him stupid, like the Democrats would call him stupid, and like everybody on the other side was just like, oh, he's just an everyman, you know,

it's fine. We like a guy that's more. He's streaks smart. Yeah. Yeah. Co-owner of a baseball team and shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, politics and the entertainment industry, there's a parallel there.

I think it's too full. I think it's what you're saying, which is the snooty people looking down. And then a lot of people take advantage of that in politics and entertainment where they then do dumb things because they know there's a market for it. They're smart and they're pretending to be dumb. And that drives me nuts. I also hate the inverse of that or whatever, like the snooty coastal type people who like who if you talk to them for a minute, you could tell they're actually charlatans like that they're, they think they're just because of like how they were brought up and where they live. and that type of thing. Like, you could tell they think that they're way smarter than, you know, somebody from

flyover country or just whatever, somebody from the middle of nowhere. That's a good. That's a good. Charlotteton. Yeah. From Charlotte. From Charlotte. And it's a huge asshole. Shearing for the fucking.

Panthers. Yeah. No, that's not. Charleston is someone who's false. It's like a false intelligence. Yes, right. Yeah. Yeah.

And those people drive me super crazy. Oh. Because I've run into a few of them, like, out here. you know, because they'd be the ones that asked me things. Like, you know, how did you get to college and that type of shit? Like those type of questions because they're just so fascinated that, you know, I have shoes and made it across the country or whatever. And then, but anyway, people like that you talk to for a minute. And not all of them, but some of them, you can tell after, you know, a few minutes, like, oh, you're also you're kind of dumb and you don't know it.

And I, that I hate that shit. Well, also it's like there's different, like, yeah, if you have the ability to, like, interpret 19. century French poetry or like get a Lars von Strier film or some shit like that. Great. That doesn't make you better than the guy who sees both of those things and is like, not not for me, but can look at an engine and

pick it apart. And like movies will make you believe that that, like the Will Huntings and like the Tony Stark's of the world are actually, they actually exist. I think there's probably one person like that every fucking generation. Right. But like it's like, I hate that idea that like, oh, you didn't, you don't

read David Foster Wallace? Like, no. Right. But that guy also can, like, fucking build a house. And he gets it. He understands how to, like, build structures. And that's also intelligence. Why do you? And I feel like there's a lot.

I hate snoot. I hate it. Me too. I hate those fucks because they, I'm like, we're where we are now because you made everyday people feel stupider. And they aligned with the idiots like Trump who were like, I'm fight for you. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, that's why it's such a swing that way.

I don't blame them. I blame. I'd like to say us, but I don't think I'm that smart. I'm a high school dropout for Christ's sake. But, you know. These smartest people I know didn't even go into academia or anything. Like, dude, I guarantee you that Stephen Wright is smarter than a lot of people that work at NASA. You know what I mean?

But he uses his brain for comedy. And, yeah, no, I'm with you. Yeah. So circling back to the New Orleans thing, I've always been a fan. and I've been there like a bunch at this point. I guess, actually, first question I want to ask because you're a comedian. And this is sort of inside baseball, but I don't care. I want to ask you.

And I hope this doesn't. I like, no disrespect or anything towards New Orleans. But I've always felt like, I love the city of New Orleans, but I always felt like comedy-wise, it's not like the best comedy town. And I'm wondering if, I mean, how you feel about that? Is that out of line? No, no, no, no. I mean, there's been a couple of attempts for clubs to open up there that just kind of fell short because they always did it wrong. They always tried to open near Bourbon Street or near the convention centers and like they wanted tourist traffic.

And my argument to any future aspiring comedy club owners listening to this, look at the best clubs. A lot of them are nowhere near any of that shit. Yeah, like the seller in New York is in the West Village, but that's New York. The whole fucking city is a touristy areas. You get foot traffic anywhere you go in that city. But, like, comedy on state. That's in Madison, Wisconsin. That's right by the Capitol.

But that's also, like, been there for 40 years. Right. It's also dead at night. By the Capitol is happening during the day. Yeah, during the day, yeah. Yeah, you're right, yeah. But, like, Acme Comedy Club, for example, in Minneapolis. That's in the warehouse district, tucked away.

No foot traffic, really. Zanis. Not downtown. Shay, not downtown. In Old Town. Yeah. But, well, Chicago and Nashville. And Nashville, yeah.

The first time I went to the Zanies in Nashville, I was like, are we even in Nashville? Yeah, right. You cross the street from a dollar general. Yeah, yeah. No, rest of pace. That close that dollar general. Which really broke my heart. I love that dollar general.

Somebody bought it for three dollars. Yeah. Tripled their money. But like, you know, but in New World, you know, there's been attempts. And there is a small, like, you know, they won't die. A small diehard scene there. And they keep doing better and better stuff. And now there is a couple of great music venues, the Holland Wolf and Tipitina's

where I shot my special that are now doing more regularly comedy booking in their programming. Yeah, we did Hallen Wolf. What tour we usually do. Tipitaine is so great. Oh, yeah. I mean, the Holland Wolf, that's good. I'm glad you guys linked up with them because they want it bad down there, and that's great. But you said it earlier, it's too European of a city.

It's why there also isn't a giant burgeoning comedy scene in Europe, where by all standard, by all idea, like the UK is a great comedy scene. It seems like it should spill over into Europe, but it doesn't because that European mindset of like, well, like, why do I want to go pay to listen to a stranger? Make me laugh when my friends are doing that right here at this outdoor cafe where we've been drinking for two hours. Right. Like, wait, why do I wait? I got to go where to see who? I don't need to do that. I'm having a great time here on this boat.

I guess my theory was always like a simplified version of that, I guess, where I always just figured it was that. if you're in New Orleans, whether you're visiting or whatever, like, you're there to do other shit that isn't stand-up comedy. Like, you know, whether that stuff is just walk around getting hammered or whatever and eat a shitload of gumbo. Either way, it's like, it doesn't include a stand-up show. You know what I mean? Like, on the itinerary or whatever. Norwood comedians want it to, like, doing stand-up in touristy places where they are just the walk-up tourist people is like, it's fucking horrible. Like, I mean, granted, I mean, granted, you.

As you all know, I'm banned from the whole city of Myrtle Beach from doing comedy. But like my theory on it was always like, you. Can you explain how I can also do that? Well, well, the way that I got banned from the one club was that there was a lady who wouldn't stop heckling and literally audibly talking on her phone during the show. So I went into a 15-minute diatribe, the highlights being calling her a cunt and all that shit. and she was actually there with a free ticket from the owner of the club. Or no, the booker. The owner actually had my back and was like, no, she was being out of line.

And then while I was there to do that show, I was in a commercial for that club and it aired. And the other club saw the commercial and was like, you can't work here anymore. So I can't work at either one of the clubs anymore. But I'm glad. And my theory on why tourist traps don't work for comedy is always that, like, I'm diversing. is obviously great in general, but you kind of want an entire audience to all kind of be on the same page and have the same synergy, like be from the same place, like you can fill the room out. And whenever, when like this group over here is from Boston, this group over here is from Washington State,

this group is, you know, from Florida, like everybody's so different. They're getting different parts of the thing and you can just never get a feel for what the audience want. Maybe I suck at comedy. That's always been my theory. It was also like a decade ago. Oh, yeah, for sure. I want to throw this at you real quick at Myrtle Beach Comedy Club. I don't even know if that's still there. In 2010, probably one of the best shows they've ever had there. I'm going to throw out this lineup. Jared Harris, you may or may not know, Jared. I love Jared. We love him, yeah. DeLase, Larrabees, great. But this was pre-laced. This was Jared. Nate Bergotsie, probably heard of him by now. Rory Scoval. Probably heard of him. A little old me.

So we were on. The four of you guys were at the, you were together? We did like a three-week tour together. Holy shit. That's a baner. We shot a documentary. We filmed us on tour for three weeks because we were trying to do like a southern common. It was like a, we're all from the south. Yeah, right. We're basically we're trying to do what you guys

have successfully done. Seriously, no shit. We were trying to be like, look, we're four guys from the south. We are dumbasses. Yeah. Except for Nate a little bit. Right. I'm kidding. Love him. But like, but he was the most southern by far of all.

Right. But like, but the Italian last. name. Like Etsy. But like, look, we're like, look, we're going to drive around, film ourselves, do this documentary, off touring all through the South. We're not idiots. The crowds are good.

And we shot it, and it was good. But the guys we hired to do it turned out to be dipshits. No offense. We've had that. Were they from the South too? No, they were both New York guys. They were younger. And at first it seemed like it would work.

But after it's just a lot of in fight, a lot of just beef between us and the way they want to do things. And ultimately, like, we just, we got the footage, but it's just hours and hours. of raw. Does it, oh, so it don't exist? Like we can't watch it. One day.

Nate's got billions of dollars. Yeah. I mean, pay somebody to do something with it now. I mean, we haven't talked about this in a long ass time, but one day and getting Jared and sitting around and actually watching all of it.

Yeah. And just picking out clips, but you know, who's got the time? But maybe one day. But we went to the Myrtle Beach Comedy Club. We did a packed ass house on a Friday night and each and every one of us ate copious amounts of shit.

It was just, No one could break them, everyone, everyone. You'd go out and you get that one initial, like, new guy on stage laugh and then, yeah. And just, I still think that's probably the best show that's ever happened there. Right. Because, I mean, just, just, just Rory and Nate, the fact that you saw those two guys pre now in there and no one gave a shit. No one, people are just like. And, dude, when Nate, I remember when Nate was, I won't say first started, but like, I guess

first started headlining in the South because like he was just one club over. I'm from Chattanooga. And like he's always been, it's like Roy Wood Jr. They went, they were beast from the start. So like, it's not like, oh yeah, that was back when Nate didn't know what the fuck he was doing. Like, yes, he did. That guy's always. Yeah, he's always known.

Always. Well, keeping with the inside baseball stuff for a while, so you have seemed to me, so I did a couple of the same festivals you were on like years ago and everything, which my introduction to you. and you were always one of the dudes that like all the comics were like, you know Sean Patton? Oh, that guy. That's awesome. And the common guy.

The common guy. Yes, right. Well, actually, my, again, you probably don't even remember this show because it was very lackluster the show itself, but I got into, uh, red clay. Those are the only ones we remember, Trey. Red Clay. The first one? The first one, yes, in Atlanta.

And that was like a bit, because that was a fucking murder's row of a lineup. And I, and like, I was super pumped to be on it. I was still living in Knoxville at the time. time. On the way down there, my truck broke down outside of Rossville, Georgia. I had to get, he had to send somebody to come pick me up, and I borrowed his truck in Chattanooga and drove it the rest of the way. So I'm almost late to my first show of that festival. And I pull up, and again, I've seen the lineup. All these great comics are on it. I'm so pumped to be on here. I'm sweating bullets that I'm going to like miss it or something because of the car trouble.

I get there right in time before it starts. I go in there. And then the show. was like not any good like the crowd wasn't good and everything like all the comics on it were great but like it was the crowd was small some of the

some of the shows at Red Clay that year were awesome but this one was like 11 o'clock at night in some bar and it just it was a big disappointment from where my expectations were

but you were like near the end of that show and you were perhaps the only comic that night who truly did well like that's I remember like everybody was sort everybody was in the back

like, what the fuck, man? And then I remember you just sort of strolled up there and just kind of flip the whole thing. Because I remember sitting in the back being like, oh, shit, okay. And that was the first time I had seen you in person. I was like, all right. So it's not just the crowd. It was us. Right, exactly.

That festival, I mean, I just did it again last year. That's one of my favorite festivals. Yeah. Because it's awesome. But then there's also, there is a little element of like total chaos. Yeah. Yeah. Because shout out.

Gilbert Lawland. Love him. Love him. Love him. But just every now and again, he's like 90% on it and then 10% like, whey. Yeah. That's what I love about you, Gilbert. 90-10, boy.

But he, I remember that show specifically because if my recollection is as accurate as I think, it was in like a basement of a bar. It was, yeah. And I don't know if you saw this, but I pulled up, again, thinking I was late. And I pull up in the parking lot that that bar is in, there's a huge line of people. And I was like, fuck, yes. Then I get up and I realize that line is going into the nightclub that's above the bar where we're at. So I'm like past the line of people on my way down the steps to this point and walk in there. And there's hardly anybody in there.

And I was like, just the roller coaster of emotions, it was all set up to like be ridiculous. Well, you know what's funny is the reason I remember that show. And I won't say his name because I don't, I don't dislike the guy. But I remember it was one of the comedians up before me did a thing that is one of my top five comedian pet feebs. pet peeves, which is just immediately start shit blaming the audience. Right.

Immediately start being like, well, you guys clearly don't like jokes, so I'll just... Yeah, no. It's like, I get it, I know. We've all been through those fucking shows. They still happen. They will always happen from time to time. We're not going first. Yeah. No, for sure. And it's also like, or just go up there

and fucking take it in the jaw and act like that's what you want it. Right. Just fucking guess what? You get to do this for a living. We get to fucking live this life. It's awesome. It's hard, of course. But it's fucking mostly, you know, it's awesome. And every now and again, you got to just, you got to go up there and just, hey, own it.

Right now, I'm bombing and there's nothing I can do about it, but bomb with my fucking chin up, and at least pave the way for the next guy because I do believe, speaking of inside baseball, that even if an audience isn't dying laughing, they might still be loving the show. Yeah. They might just be a little reserved.

And when you start telling them as a comedian how much they suck as an audience, they start to fucking draw, you know, they start to pull back. Yeah, they start to actually suck. Yeah. Because to them, they're like, well, fuck this whole show. Right.

And it makes the next comics job real hard. If everyone has bombed in front of you, I find myself very relaxed in that situation. Like, obviously it sucks if you go up there and you're the first to bomb. But if, like, I was ever doing a showcase and the four people in front of me ate shit, my goal, my mindset would always be, okay, most likely it'll go like that. But, hey, you could be the one and then you get the bragging rights. Like that, you know what I mean? that CMT showcase me and you did in Atlanta. Did that. That's exactly what happened.

So, yeah. Country music. Country music? Wait, CMT. CMT, yeah. Country music. Television. They were looking for new talent and everybody ate a dick except me and Corey ate marginally less of a dick at the end, like back to back. And they never called anybody.

Yeah. Then, this is so embarrassing. D.A. Curry was there. I believe. Go ahead, though. After that, I was at home like a couple nights later. a little drunk at my house, and I ended up writing the CMT contact,

like an email manifesto about how, like, you know, I don't know. I love that shit. Yeah, just like, obviously, you're not seeing what you, you know, if you can't see what, you know, what we were doing or what we're trying to do, that I don't know what to tell you. And I, the next day, I sent it to them.

And I was like, hey, was this, like, was this dumb? And they were, they were, they both just start dying laughing. And they were like, well, it appears to be a manifesto. They were like, you're a fucking. Lunatic. At least 70% of what you said came true, though. It was right. Yeah. Yeah. That was like telling them how great I was going to be. That's great for men. I mean, 70% for manifestos. Yeah. Yeah. Unabomber barely got an 80.

Yeah. I don't know, man. His was more about the execution. Like, he was right about everything. He just shouldn't have done that. Yeah, no, that's what I'm saying. He only got an 80, but you're right. He got a 95. Well, that also real quick, real quick. That also ties into one of my other pet peeves of being comedian. but not what you're doing because you know you got you you had experience you got some drinks you got a little emotional you did this thing

I love that kind of shit like you know when it's nothing crazy I'm not saying drunk get emotional so fucking you know walk in there with a load of weapon but write a manifesto you'd be like

this is why your shit sucks is why I love that but I my pet peeve is when comedians act like we should like no man being normal like when comedians try to act like

we're well adjusted human beings Oh, God. I said, no, we are all in this fucking world because we are cracked. We are broken. Something got flipped over on its ass and dysfunctional along the way. And every human being goes through that. But, like, I'm saying, we are, we do a thing that requires a lot of delusion and, like, embracing your demons and, like, dealing with your own backwards thinking and your own, you know, OCD or anxiety, depression, just all these things that a normal. person would

medicate or pretend like it didn't exist or would be actively afraid of and ashamed to admit we're we dive head first into it. And through that we occasionally get drunk and write manifesto. Why is that a big fucking deal?

You know and I just I hate whenever someone would be like oh you can't do that man. It's like no you can do that. You can as a comedian every now and again write some dumb fucking post or do a tweet that you later like That was too much, but whatever. It's part of this fucking world.

So I want to give you a chance, obviously, to talk about your special that's coming out. And I think I know how to tee you up because I want to tell my Sean Patton story. Oh, okay. So I was in New York living there, and our buddy Kevin came up to – Kevin Anderson came up to visit. And Kevin was looking at stuff to do, and he wanted to go to the creek in the cave. Kevin used to write sketches with us. He's a brilliantly funny man who now has a kid and teaches. But he used to write sketches with all of us and stuff.

So he came up because I want to see some comedy. And he goes, oh, Sean Patton's at the creek in the cave. Let's do that. And I was like, absolutely, that guy's great. It looks like he's doing an hour or whatever. Let's go. What I didn't know until we got there was that you were running a one-man show. You were practicing it.

Yeah. And it was genuinely one of my favorite things that's ever happened in New York. We rode the train together, me and Kevin Average. I'm sure you don't remember. This is the night I met you. Afterwards, we rode the train together. The seven? Yeah.

And we were like, hey, that was great. But in the show, there was a moment. And it's all about your family. and I'll let you talk about it because I know that it's related a little bit to the special it's all about Katrina and stuff. There was a moment where a lady

was bent over laughing like you see on deaf comedy jam couldn't breathe and another lady and these were both in front of us kind of flanking me and Kevin was crying her eyes out because you were talking about some tough stuff

and I'll never in my life forget that. I came this close to like saying something to you that night like we should all just stop standup comedy and do one man shows. This is where it's sad like I was so moved

that for a second And I was like, this is the future of everything, of all the art. You know what I mean? But it was really, really, really, really impressive. And then we talked a little bit about that last night when we were drinking together. And you said that some of that stuff is in the special? A majority of it. Okay.

Because I did that. Yeah, that was a one-person show was doing, because I wanted to do Edinburgh. Yeah. I think every single performer on the fucking planet should do Edinburgh at least once. Did you take that over there and do it? I'm getting ahead of the game. Yeah. But I know like a lot of people would disagree with that statement who have been there.

I know a lot of American comedians specifically who've been to Edinburgh fucking hate it. Because you can't just go over there with an hour stand-up. Right. It's to them that's not what they want. They want a theme. They want to arc to it. And I know a lot of fucking American comics also are like, but they don't laugh. They just want a lot.

It's like, no, they laugh, but they just want a show. They want a story. They want a story. It's like, it's that simple. So take an hour stand up and string a narrative through it and you're fine. But otherwise, if you're just up there being like, what else is going on? They don't want that shit. I get that.

That's my comedy pet peeve, by the way. What? What else is going on? What else is going on? It's like, you're supposed to know. You know what's going on. I came here for you to tell me. Well, there's also this idea that audiences in the UK don't laugh a lot.

Yeah, they absolutely do, but they're a theatrically trained society. So to them, they don't, they laugh, but they'll keep it in. They'll keep it tucked a little bit. They're supposed to be quiet right now. They're supposed to be a little tucked. That's why we did so well over there, Trey. Yeah. I mean, dude, performing in the UK has taught me a lesson that this sounds fucking insane for any comedian to say.

But you got to get to a point where you don't need laughter to know something's funny. Yeah. You have to know in your fucking brain and in your heart and in your being. Like, nope, that's funny regardless of how the audience reacts. Anyway. So, yeah, I did that show. I took it to Edinburgh in 2017. It was a dope-assic, a great experience.

But it was a lot. You know, there's a lot of emotional, but not like hokey. hacky, bullshit emotion. It's a lot that show. And then I got back to the States. And I was like, I just got to shelf it for a minute. Just because I'd been, you know, banging away on that hour for over a year. And I was like, let's just shelf it and just go.

I was on the road a bunch doing clubs. That hour was hard to do in clubs. I bet. Hard. Because like, you know, because you needed them to stay with you for a whole narrative. Yeah. And sometimes it was great. In certain clubs, I did it at Acme for a week, seven straight shows, worked beautiful.

But that's just a little bit better of an audience there. They're a little bit more. But then, you know, I tried it at a fucking Albany Funny Bone once. And it was like, yeah, I'm going to abandon this. Did you, so. So. It is comedy. It is a comedic.

Right. But it's got like a lot of heartfelt moments in it and stuff too. Sort of like, just like. Like he said people were crying and laughing. Yeah. When you did it in the club, did you like, like, set that up. Did you tell them like, hey, I'm about to do something a little bit different? You just did the thing.

And sometimes it worked, sometimes it did. Because like the actual like heartfelt moments are. You know, it's probably condensed into only like three or four minutes of the show. But it's still like it's just one moment that then leads into another, you know. But it's still comedy. It's a full on comedic. Like I don't, the big trope of Edinburgh shows is 40 minutes in. That's when you find out the dad dies.

Yeah. Or whatever. And it's like, that's not what this show is. It's still a comedy show. But it just has one. Damn, I don't know if I can ever go to Edinburgh then if that's like the cliche over there. But if I got to kill them up top. Yeah.

I'll start with my dad down. I'll leave with that. Exactly. But then if you make it funny, that's my whole thing about comedy. It's like, if you make it funny, it doesn't matter how you do it. Right. If you take them down a winding road and then it's like, whoa, where are we going? And then all of a sudden it's like, ha-ha.

And it's like, oh, that's funny. Great. I don't think everything has to be set up punch. I think sometimes the setup can take 15 different turns and forms and the punch line can take the same, if not more. Right. Anyway. So in Edinburgh, I do the show. I come back, I shelf it, then 2018 hits, and I'm on the road a bunch, and I'm working on this,

me and my writing partner, a guy I write scripts with, named Rory Windhorst, awesome dude. We sold a show to FX, right? And we, you know, which is basically just you get paid to write a pilot. Yeah, right? And develop it with their producers. And that took from early 2018 till November 16th, 2019, it's my birthday, because that was the day they passed on it. Happy birthday, yeah. That's not right.

And I get it. 50 minutes into this podcast, you just killed your dad. I know, right? Yeah. But so that year and all that time was really, all my focus was like, I was on the road doing stand-up, but I was also focusing on developing this pilot. And, you know, FX is a dope-ass network. I fucking, I got, they're great.

But, you know, just the show eventually, like anybody who's ever sold a TV show, we live in the land of that. Just sometimes after developing it for a year. year and eight months you realize this isn't well in my experience that's exclusively what happens yeah that's the part right yeah sorry 100% we thought this my head but now yeah yeah yeah in fact if you can just weather that out for two years then they buy the show but you know but like then they then that happens and that was late 2019 and then of course pandemic right but then during the pandemic I had a lot of down to think about it and it was like why the fuck I got a and I just pulled it back

off the shelf and was like, why am I not? And then once we started, you know, started going on the road again, started doing shows again, I just started like using more and more of that and then adding in elements of, like, you know, bits that I've been doing all the, and then when by the time we started or shot the special, which was February 22, it was like, oh, this is that Edinburgh show that you saw. And then like with, you know, 20 more minutes of stand-up put into it that fit the whole thing. Yeah. That makes it more.

Because someone, I can't remember who fucking said this, but it stuck with me hard. They were like, your first hour has to leave the audience with a complete idea of who you are. Yeah. They can't be confused. They can't know. Like, I don't really know. They got to at least go, oh, I see who you are. And so that first hour was like, well, then let's just go with the most personal shit I got, which I always talk about personal stuff.

But it was like that. So it's 87 minutes long. It's a long special. But I will argue that it doesn't feel like 87 minutes because there's a point to everything. You're following along a narrative. It's not just random ideas. I got nothing against people who do that, but I'm just saying there's a reason it's 87 minutes long. Right.

And so is it out now? It's out. It's on peacock right now. Oh, I love that. And what's it called? It's called number one. Number one. It's like a quadruple entendre.

But you've got to watch to see why it's called that. But also, like, it's, you know, it's on Peacock. It's been out since, like, December. But that's what's amazing about streaming. They're like, no, don't promo till it's already out. Yeah. So that weekend right now, you listening to this right now, can go, fine.

You can watch on Peacock right now instead of worrying about saving a date. But yeah, it's been out. I love it. Check it out. It's on Peacock. If you watch the free version with commercials, know this. They let me choose the commercial break times. That's so great.

Yeah, they let me choose, so it is not going to just go to cut to commercial mid-bit. Like, it's, I spent the fucking two days picking the exact time codes of like, all right, there it is. Now we can break here. Did you come to them with that or did they give you that as an option? They gave me an option. Okay. That's great. Yeah, if you're like a paid customer, there's no commercials.

But I think there's like a tier where you can watch everything with commercials for less money. And they're like, do you want to pick? They asked me if I wanted to tell. I was like, fuck yeah. That surprises me. Yeah. They're trying, Peacock's trying to like. Dude, they're crushing.

All their original shit is awesome. I'm a real big fan. Like, I just now got into it because my, our buddy Earl is in one of their shows. And I was just going on their list and like, dude, peacock is the place to be. So that's great. Well, and forever perpetual shout out to Michael Che because he produced it. And he brought it to Peacock, like himself. And he champion.

it and and he's a fucking angel angel of a man. He's being a fan of yours, he just wanted to see it get made. Yeah, yeah. He's a friend and a friend first and, you know, colleague second. And he came to me and was like, let me do it. And I was like, oh, yeah, please. Yeah, he say yes to Michael Jay. And he's like of all, and you guys have been in this business long enough to know.

You hear shit like that a lot. Yeah. Oh, yeah. People tell you they want to help you. People tell you they can help you. It's very flattering and cool when people do that. But oftentimes, through no fault of their own, they just get too busy right they just get shit you know they can't michael who's already a fucking

busy guy all the time is not he was the first guy to everybody like i'm going to help you and then make time in his schedule to actually do that right so he's know that about him he's a he's a stand-up stand-up that's great yeah yeah that's awesome um yeah do you so one of the questions i wanted to ask you about comedy because you're like so you're great at uh storytelling like you If you guys don't know, Sean's got so many different, like, self-contained clips you can find on YouTube from This is Not Happening or Comedy Central clips or whatever that are like stories that are 10 to 20 minutes long or whatnot and they just all, they're all incredible. The one about you and your buddy getting gay bashed and him, yeah, so I don't want to spoil it. You guys should check it out. Him and his friend were pretending to be gay.

Me and Drew used to do that. Remember we would pretend we were having a lover's quarrel? Yeah, me and you would just like make out. man, him would, like, pretend to be in a fight in a bar, like a, like a, like a couples fight in a bar. But anyway, they're all great, and I'm just, do you, you seem to me, and I don't know how to put this, so I hope you know what I mean. It's the type of comic who can, like, just really get up there and go, like, in a, in a room. You walk into a room, you sort of fill it out, whatever, and then you get up there and you're like, you just put the pedal down and go. And you can talk about the scenario or what's going on or anything that.

happened or any of that shit like there's like you're comfortable with spontaneity and riffing and all of that stuff you seem like one of those guys to me and i'm always so insanely impressed by those guys because like i'm uh you know i'm more of a like material mechanic mechanic yeah but i'm equally as impressed impressed by that like likewise yeah like i'm i still i think that's like i watch comedians who get up there who can get up there and like in the you know bam bam bam bam bam bam just like just like that's like i'm just like that's like set up punch set up punch like I that impresses the shit

out of me like I watch that I'm like fuck man because believe you me some nights when you're on stage you're like oh I've got to get this audience to stay with me for a 15 minute journey versus the comedian right before me who just laid them the fucking

waste with like you know in a 15 minute set 10 10 jokes 12 jokes I think that shit's equally as impressive but if you just you just you just always been that way like yeah I just came naturally to you to be that way when I first yeah I'm just I've always stored like even you know as making your friends laugh it was always

me telling stories but as a kid you know as a teenager smoke I was never a class clown I was the me and five friends skipping class to smoke fucking bowls in the woods clown yeah you know that was me and like but I dude I've tried a thousand times like just to write like simple like I'm gonna write just a joke and fuck it I always I always end up just making it longer or like if a jokes comes to you on stage sometimes every comic writes on stage sometimes and I'm like oh that's perfect that's just a nice opener and then I'll sit down and tinker with it and I'm like no now it's six minutes long it's just I always it's good in some cases I'm definitely the guy who I would rather do an hour set than a 10 minute set any fucking day of the week but like you know I'm also like a kind of shy reserved guy I think normally like I've had like people have traveled with me and the whole time been like are you all right are you mad are you guys I'm like no I'm not that girl I was just like you travel with my wife yeah but I mean yeah I'm like this sinus infection

sinus infected woman I just don't want to get sick lady but no I just like I yeah I think I'm you know I've been doing this for 21 years now I think just like the way my head like when When you're on stage, it's just something subconsciously unleashes, you know? And, like, I love being on stage and just going. But I also like to have a map. That's why I don't do crowdwork. Not against crowdwork. I think there's some great crowdwork comics out there.

I think some people do it, you know, last night, Jay O'Kerson, you know, he's in L.A. right now. That guy's one of the best. Now say, right. Yeah. I don't. I mean, it's one of the best at it, you know? But I also just don't, to me, it's not as enjoyable.

Right. Doing a bit that I've written and, like, home. And, like, but make it seem. like it's right there in the moment, which usually is, but it's still. So for you, it is kind of a hybrid, because that's what I'm saying. I'll watch you and it feels like you're doing the in the moment thing or whatever. But so you're like, you've got like a general roadmap in your head when you're starting out on a thing. And you just sort of hit the.

I make a set list. Every set. I can show you on my phone. I have a decade of sets just on my phone. Okay. Right. Right. Right.

Right. Right. Okay. But yes, I do, I like to have a map. But I will allow myself. Hey, whoop, jump right the fuck off it if you need to. Because you say, like, Big J's great. Our book, Sam Talent is really good.

Oh, fuck yeah. Sam's fantastic. Like that. Love Sam. You know, that type of shit's just always, like, fascinating to me. And it's like I said, you seem like you're somewhere. You don't do crowd work, but it's like a hybrid thing. Or you, you like come across as you're not afraid to go on a tangent that wasn't rehearsed.

Oh, 100%. Yeah. It can't be. I mean, that's sort of like, I've said this before. but I will say it probably many more times. There is a definitive difference to me between killing and being funny. Right. Right. You want the two to intertwine, but like you can do one without the other.

Does that make sense? Yes. Yeah. The guy that opened for me this weekend, Donnie Singstack told me a great story about this exact concept. But you could continue if you want. I'll tell you what. Okay. Well, it's not that much more.

It's just like I think you get. So much focus comics were like, I got to kill, got to kill, got to kill. But if I personally believe that if you go in there with that mindset, you're going to start pandering and you're going to start, you know, you're going to start aiming lower and lower because you just got to kill. And you're afraid to actually be funny. And I've been guilty of that many times, right? But being funny is always more of a risk. Being funny is harder. Any performer worth their assault can kill.

Being funny is way more difficult, but way more real and way more enthrall. for both us performing and the audience watching, right? But it's more of a risk. So, but then sometimes you take that risk and that leads to the kill. I look at it as a night of drinking, right? Having a great night out is killing, as being funny, getting fucked up is killing. That's not hard. You can go to a bar and just pound shots until you're fucking trashed.

Yeah, right. But the version where you have some drinks, try out a different cocktail, make a friend, meet a woman, get a number, have a great conversation, make a business contact, get laid. And in the course of all that, you end up getting fucked up. You've achieved that. That's how I look at it. Like, you've got to take these risks. And in the course of it, you hope it kills.

But it's always to me more worth it to be like, oh, let me just try this fucking thing that I love. And even if it bombs, you're like, well, at least I know now. At least I have a beat on it. At least I could figure out how to make it work better versus, nah, I'm just going to ban. That was the thing I used to make fun of. That was the thing, L.A. comic. We used to make fun of... I don't think there's really that big of a difference between L.A. and New York

comics just... New York comics have a little more... We're just... We just have more stage time. But it used to be a thing of... LA comic. Show up. Do five new minutes they thought of of the car ride over. Doesn't get anything. Berade the audience for five more minutes for not knowing who they are

or... I don't need this shit. And then closing with five minutes that they did on Coden two years ago. You know? Yeah. But that happens on the East Coast, too, but I'm just saying like every comedian's guilty of that of like, oh, fuck, I got to kill. But I also find if you just stop yourself there and go, no, no, no, it's going to be so much more worth it to try and be funny and let the kill happen versus try to kill only and then hope it's funny. Because we've all seen that.

We all know that comedian who every time they get on stage, they absolutely murder it. However, you ask the audience, what did that person say? What were your favorite bits? And it will always be the, uh, I liked when they asked that one girl, uh, if she was pregnant. Right. And, and she said, uh, no, I'm just, no, I'm fat. That, that never happened. But you know what I mean?

I mean, that would actually be hilarious. You know? How far along are you? I'm just a fat fucker. Or the big fat. Or the other way around. Like how, Jesus Christ, are you on, are you carboloading? No, I'm seven months pregnant, asshole.

But either way, it's just, yeah, like, or I think there's been so many times where we've all seen that guy or girl or person too who's amazing. But the audience is just sort of like, what do I do with this? But, you know, I think that's the beauty of being a comedian and the live aspect of it is like taking risks, make it worth it. Like sometimes Steve Martin said it in his book. Sometimes it's so funny they don't get it for another day. Yeah. I don't think that. I'm paraphrasing.

But, you know, sometimes it's like in the moment. They're like, what? But then the next day they're like, ha, ha, fuck. That it was a good riff, bit, skit. Yeah, well, dude, you're like both the comics, comic, and also an absolute killer at the same time. Well, you guys got to check him out. Like, I'm saying, like, at those festivals,

it was always, like, you were the dude, but then also in the actual, it's not just the back of, you're not playing to the back of the room. It's not just the back of the room that's laughing. You're fucking destroying everybody. You're one of my favorites. You're one of the best, buddy. Wait, really quickly.

I want to hear... Donnie's story. Okay. Well, I was going to say I'll... Maybe we'll have Donnie come on here and tell it. Okay. When we turn it off, I'll tell you guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because I think it's a super funny story and it's his story. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, we should have Donnie on anyway. We should have Donnie on anyway. My face love Donnie. When we stop recording a second, I'm going to tell you guys, but for the audience, we'll have Donnie come on because you need to meet him anyway, and I'll have him tell it to y'all. So you're going to have to wait in suspense for a week or so.

All right. But check out. Sean special on Peacock Number one, number one on Peacock And I'm on the road with David Cross for like a few months Oh that's right, I saw it I heard him talking about that Yeah, that's probably going to be a blast

I was going to say this comes out this week So if you got dates Oh yeah, I mean Yeah, plug everything If you go to my website Meishonpatten.com I got a bunch of dates listed A lot of them with David

And then some of them With just me on the road But check out my website I'm always on YouTube channel is Sean Patton Comedian I'm just now leaning into that Because I'm a fucking idiot

but you know you and me both yeah and uh follow me on instagram mr sean patten but yeah check out the dates touring with david is pretty fucking awesome he's still he still got it 10 times he's still he's great and his fan base is awesome and it's fun yeah come see me on the road peacock special uh more to come hell yeah Sean Patton everybody thanks so much for no thank you guys this is actually fucking cool as shit I'm a mega fan of these dudes you know giving me the diapers thank you I, too, am about to faint. Corey, you want to sing us off?

Oh, yeah, I forgot. Thank you all for listening to the well-read show. We'd love to stick around longer, but we got to go. Tune in next week if you got nothing to do. Thank you, God bless you, good night and skew. And also go see Sean Special on Peacock. Skew. All right, we want to thank Sean Patton again for joining the program.

y'all for real go check out his special right now you will not regret it he's just simply one of the funniest dudes doing it and as i said in the intro he deserves way more than he gets by god you should all be the number one sean patten fan uh after you watch it and that's maybe that's why he called it number one because he knows he knows exactly what's going to happen you're going to dig him he's going to be your new guy. So check that special out. Follow Sean everywhere. Also remember well-read comedy dot com for our dates. Trey Crowder, uh, excuse me, Patreon.com slash Trey Crowder for bonus Trey. We got Gravy Baby with Drew. We got putting on airs with me and Trey. Trey's also got the weekly skews with him and smart mark. And as for me, you can go to part-time funnyman.com and check out all the

stuff I'm doing in order to make me not have to be on the road as much. I'm not going to lie, I love my baby so much, and I just want to stay at this house and make videos and cool podcast for y'all. Part-time Funnyman.com. It's $5 or it's free. Later.