wellRED podcast - #317 - Raising Newborns + Story Time w/ Donnie Sengstack!

Episode Date: April 5, 2023

Trae and Corey open the show by talking about raising newborns and how they feel about their kids. Then Trae shares his experience doing stand up for babies!At the halfway mark, our good buddy, the hilarious Donnie Sengstack stops by to tell us 2 hilarious stories about his journey in stand up comedy!Check out all the shows in the Skewniverse: Puttin’ On Airs, Gravy Baby, Weekly SkeewsGo to TraeCrowder.com for ticketsFor bonus Trae go to patreon.com/TraeCrowderFor Bonus Corey go to PartTimeFunnyMan.com

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion. Because used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

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Do you even know? Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery? Getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low mane? Because that's the thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better. and it's called Rocket Money.

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They help. If you're money dumb like me, Rocket Money can help. So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney. dot com slash well read today that's rocket money.com slash well r e d rocketmoney.com slash well read and we thank them for sponsoring this episode of the podcast. They're the they're the liberal rednecks they like cornbread but sex they care way too much but don't give a fuck.

They're the liberal rednecks that makes some people. People upset, but they got three big old dicks that you can sun. What's up? Well-red Nation, here we are. It's, uh, we're here we are virtually here in the virtual well-read studios. Me and the show, Drew is dead. Unfortunately, something happened to him. Yeah, rest of peace, true. Now, he's all right, but he's, he's in parts unknown as he is want to be.

That's funny. You say that because, like, I feel like when me and you were going to be absent, and maybe this is because me and you were just very verbose and we over-explained things like whenever we're going to miss the show we usually send like a paragraph going i got to do this otherwise that blah blah but drew just don't always goes i ain't going to be there so can't do it yeah which that's totally fine by the way like it doesn't yeah that doesn't bother me at all obviously it's fine if he misses it right i think it says more about me and you than it does him like when me and you when me and you need to miss the show we actually kind of come across as liars

because liars often over-explain. And like you can tell someone's line when you're like, I don't even need any of this information. You've created this in your fucking head. Dude, well, you've given me a whole new neuroses now. I always do that. I know you're right about that,

about liars due to and over-explain, makes you seem suspicious. But you know two things about me. You know that I'm like a terrible liar, but I'm also the most over-explanning-ass motherfucker. planet Earth. So now you got me thinking like everybody always thinks I'm full of shit when I'm being overly truthful.

Well, I, yeah, it's where, yeah, I know, because I want, I like,

well, it's just that we've talked about before, but I just have this thing in my head where I'm like, I feel like all the information is necessary. I don't know. I'm just, I'm just like, they need to know all of this,

but you don't. You know, like, especially like, okay, me, you and Drew are real comfortable with each other. So it's not necessary,

right? It's totally not. I'm going to miss the show, whatever. I do feel like if I was to miss somebody else's podcast, I would still do the thing that me and you do because like my neurosis is that they're going to think that I'm just blowing them off for some bullshit. So in my mind, I need to lay it all out there so that they know, look, I would not normally this would never happen. But these extenuating circumstances. So like, dude, I'm making fun of you, but I do it too. And like, when I realized that I did it so much was I think a lot of people go through this. this is you start noticing your dad do things and you get annoyed at him. And you go, oh, fuck, I do that too. Because, like, you know, nobody hates their selves more than us, right? My dad does it. And he just, and all the things that I hate about my dad, I'm going, fuck, it's because you do it too.

And you hate yourself. I remember, I can remember the first time I think that I ever realized about myself. It didn't have anything to do with my dad, but it was a long time ago. And I never have stopped. I have no idea what the story was I was telling, but I got, I had a, I had a I went to high school with. We're all hanging out. We're all smoking weed or whatever.

And he's like prone to, I'm not going to say he has ADD. No, I'm not going to say as ADD, but he's like, he got a real short attention span or that he's that type of person. And I remember I was telling this story. And I'm like giving all the background laying all the ground work,

you know, that I think is utterly necessary. And I remember at one point, he just goes, he goes, Jesus Christ, get to the fucking point. Like literally,

and I was like, what do you mean? And he's like, what, what is all this? Like, what are you, just what is the thing you're wanting to say?

I wish I could remember the actual story I was telling because I was egregiously, uh, you know, out of pocket in that regard. Like he was totally right. But I remember I was probably, I was about 19 or 20 and that was like the first time that that had ever occurred to me.

And I know that I've never stopped doing it since. It's just something that's just like ingrained. I don't know. I can't help it. But do you think it's because we're both, part of it is because we're storytellers by trade. That like, I guess, but that makes me think that I'm not actually good at that. Do you know what I mean?

Like, knowing that people find it annoying when I be the way I be about stuff. And I'm talking about the way I tell stories, basically. It makes me feel like, yeah, I don't hit telling a story because I do the same thing there, you know. But it's because what you're talking about is completely mundane. But like, you still treat it the same you would. a script where you're like, background information needs to be established so that they can understand the motives for this, this, this, and this. And that's good, like, I think it's the same thing.

It's just that you don't save it for when it's completely necessary. You just do it all the fucking time. And again, dude, I'm the same fucking way. Like, I can't tell you how many times I've probably said to Amber, like, I'm sorry, but I feel like if you didn't know that part, then this wouldn't make fucking sense. Right. Yeah. A couple of things we should say before we get too far into the show here.

Number one, if you guys listened last week and we hope you did, thanks again to Sean Patton for being on the show. The lovely fellow. Love Sean. Brilliant comic. As I say, I've since watched this special on Peacock, number one. Loved it. Thought it was fantastic.

Highly recommended it to everybody. But if you listen or watch that episode, then you know at the end of it, he brought up the difference between killing and being actually funny as far as comedians go. and I said, I just heard a story that's directly relevant to that. And then at the end, I was like, I'll have the guy himself come on next week and tell the story because it's his story. And I feel like that would be more fair. And we should have him on anyway. The guy in question is Donnie Singstack, our buddy, who's a very funny comedian, he will be coming on the show at about the halfway point today.

So fret, not if you've just been dying from suspense for the past week, you will get to hear the story. Now I hope it lives up to it. I know when he told me the story for the first time, we're on the way to Frederick Maryland from Virginia, and it had me fucking dying in the car. I thought it was extremely hilarious. Well, Donnie's a fantastic storyteller, so I promise you it'll live up. Yeah.

He's also, he's also a sweet boy, just the sweetest boy. But so that'll happen. The other thing I feel like we should say, I guess, some changes over here. We're not sure the full extent of them as of yet.

But it's okay that I say this, right? I mean, it's happening. People need enough. So our, our beloved podcast network, Starburns, is folding, doing no small part to us. I'm sure. I'm sure we have brought it now. We tend to do that. We tend to sink ships.

This is the longest. Really, they did fantastic. Exactly. That's what I was about to say. They should be very proud of themselves that they like, got in bed with us and then survived for as long as they did. Because normally absolute death nail, people like hook up with us before you know it.

Everything is gone to shit and it's over. But yeah, no, I mean, it shouldn't make fun of it. It's just, you know, whatever. I mean, shit happens. We don't have all the details or whatever. But, yeah, but that is happening, which is a bummer, which means, I mean, the upside for you guys is that, I guess, for a little bit, there won't be.

be ads. We're plugging our own ads in because you can't, you know, can't not plug something, promote something. But there won't be ads. And also, we don't know where we're going to end up. I mean, we've got a couple of options, a couple of plans in mind to try out as far as networks. And I know the network part don't really even matter that much to you guys, the audience, but matters to us and it makes a difference in things. So just letting y'all know that that happened. So we're bummed about it. We love to be in there. love the people at Starburns and the other shows on the network. This means I have to learn all over again how to upload an episode,

which I haven't had to do for like four years thanks to our good friends at Starburns. And I would like to say that we wish them all the luck in the world. They were a fantastic partner in podcasting. Every single one of them is sweeter than the next. And I really hate this for them. Yeah, me too. I've been wanting to. So I'm good, man.

Fatherhood agrees with me. I think. Me and Amber have, I mean, I know we, we ain't licked it, but I do feel like we've licked this phase of it. Like,

we know, like, obviously he's going to change and stuff. But as far as, like, the newborn situation goes, like, we've gotten on our,

as much of a schedule as you can get on for, you know, chaos or whatever. But, like, I figured out, like,

um, you know, hey, like if she had, she had a doctor's appointment yesterday at 1230. So I told her before we went to bed. I said, hey,

baby, why don't you go ahead and pump a little bit extra and I'll wake up in the middle of the night and feed him and burping and change. And so you don't have to do that and you can be well rested for your doctor's appointment. And that worked out really good. And she had the blood pressure of a normal fucking person for the first time since we've been married.

So clearly, uh, you know, it's working. And, uh, you know, I would like to say to everybody who's, who has heard me talking about how great it is and how much I love it. Me and Amber, the most spoiled motherfuckers on earth because she's a teacher and therefore already out of school and doesn't have to go to work. for another several months. And I work primarily at home. So like, we're in the sweetest fucking spot for two people to raise a baby.

And it's still difficult. So I don't know how in the fuck the rest of y'all do it. I will say that. So I did a, I told you this already, but I did a show in Santa Monica on Saturday. That was like where the club invited people to bring their babies. Not like, part of the whole, part of the whole conceit of it was like, this is a dirty show. It's an R-rated show because babies aren't making memories. They don't understand anything.

So, you know, you don't have to find a babysitter. You can bring, and also it was in the afternoon, not late at night. So that was smart too. But yeah, bring your baby, enjoy a comedy show with the baby along. I love the club. I mean, I'll shout out the club. It's a new club in Santa Monica called the Crow. and the Nicole who runs it.

I love her. I love the, I love the club. This experience was, you know, pretty wild, pretty surreal. It was,

the show was set for only one hour. Oftentimes comedy shows are an hour and a half. When I saw it was one hour, I was like, that smart because babies get unruly, whatever. I get the, I'm going up last.

I'm going up at like the 45 minute mark. And I know that's going to be iffy, because I've, I've, I've, I've had babies, you know. And sure enough, for the first, like half, the first 30 minutes, the babies are all in their best behavior.

They've all probably just been fed or whatnot. And they're chilling. And then in about 35, 40 minutes in, the babies just decided, this don't hit, went with us no more. And started being babies. None of these performers is a cartoon dog. I don't quite understand the appeal. Right. Bless the parents' hearts.

They were still, like, doing their best to be attentive and be like a receptive audience and stuff. But the only reason I brought it up is I was going to say, because I texted you about this too. I tried to do this bit. That's nothing. I did nothing but parenting material. And I've never written parenting material ever until that show. And so I wrote 15 minutes of parenting material. Some of it I might keep around.

If you don't end up keeping it around. One bit I tried to do. One bit I tried to do that did not go over at all. And I think it's because these people all have like babies still, like actual babies, like babies that are holding. in their laps babies. I try to do this bit about how everybody overhypes

the newborn stage tremendously. Everybody's like everybody makes you real nervous about the newborn states because they're like, are you taking time off work? Is, you know, is her, are you not having helped? Do you got parents around? Is her mom going to come and stay with you guys? Like, shit, like the people are saying all this.

And I was like, God damn, this is going to be a whole thing. And it is a huge life change. But as compared to the stages that follow, especially, the newborn stage is like so easy. The not sleeping part is like the worst part, but and so I try, but I'm trying to do a bit about this. I'm like, the newborn stage ain't shit. They don't do nothing. They just lay there, whatever. And then I got in this whole thing. I was like, it's especially nothing compared to the competitive suicide era of the kid's life, which is once they start walking,

because everybody, every parent knows from the time a kid learns to walk to the time they go to kindergarten, they are exclusively devoted to the pursuit of trying to kill themselves in the most assinine ways possible, right? And that part of it, like, kind of hit, I was getting some laughs in that part, talking about how toddlers be. But that first part, they were just all like, the fuck are you talking about?

Yeah, you can tell they were all like, no, this is real hard. But I still, again, like my first, my first kid was such an easy baby. And I've said before, like I, her mom did come up and stay with us for a little bit. Me and her mom are just like watching Breaking Bad or whatever. I'm like, you know, bingeing Breaking Bad, playing Skyrim.

it was so easy. But also I ended up having two, 13 months apart. Taking care of one with a baby. Two boys. Two boys. And like that, like when you compare just having a newborn to all that, like the two toddlers at the same time, it's like it's a walk in the park, dude. But people don't, you cannot agree with that until you're looking back on it in retrospect, I feel like. And so that that ate a huge dick.

Like that didn't go over at all. And I knew why I was like, yeah, not with what you said, but with that, you can't, uh, you can't agree with that until in hindsight because,

and this is one of the reasons that I always preface anytime I'm talking about my experience with raising a newborn with the fact that we are both currently stay at home parents because I, I don't, no doubt in my mind. That makes it a hundred times easier. But like, I'm with you like,

like the first, I think the first week is just like, you're, it's just you're running on nerves and adrenaline because they've just handed you this thing with no fucking instruction manual and you just got to go home. So like it's really your fears and you're, you're going to be sleep deprived because if you're like us, like, dude, it would take me so long to go to sleep because I was constantly checking to see if the baby was breathing. And that's, that's still a thing that I do, but with a little less frequency and I'm more confident that yes he is but like well dude i told you via text i don't think i've said it on here

i've literally seen my me ma do that to my 60 year old uncle tim yeah literally one time he's like he's dozing he's just gently dozing on the couch on like thanksgiving day or something and i see her like walking over to him and like leaning in like puts a hand under his nose or something you know what i mean like checking to see if he's breathing and i was like damn so that just ever go away. That's wild. I was thinking like, oh my God. Like, now granted, another preface is that Amber had just had major surgery.

She had a C-section. So she couldn't get her. She couldn't get around that good. So I was having to do more, you know, like I was. And I'm happy to do it. But I was waiting on her hand and foot and the baby so it seemed difficult. Well, dude, she's fucking healed up now. We're in week two of having the baby.

Our nerves are, I mean, not completely gone, but we've gotten to our new normal. and like we get it now and now it's like dude yeah this is awesome because like a week ago I genuinely thought I was like how am I going to have time to do podcasts and research for my podcast and stuff and now it's just like well yeah I mean Amber was just going to hang out on the couch with him anyways it kind of don't matter if I take an hour off and go read some shit or I'll just read it on the couch so like I don't know man again I've never done it except for being stay at home parents but this part fucking I love it it rules it's pretty much only good, you know.

Hey guys, it's your boy, Corey Ryan Forster. I'll be short and sweet. Part-time funnyman.com is where you can get bonus stuff from me. Got bonus podcast, bonus videos, essays, stories, all sorts of cool stuff. It is $5 a month, but if you can't afford that, it's free. Either tier, you get the same stuff. Just if you have the money to pay for it, it'd be cool if you did that. But if you don't, it's fine.

You can get it for free. You can also make a one-time donation to the show on PayPal using buttercream Corey at gmail.com. It's a really cool thing. I'm adding new cool stuff all the time. There's about to be a whole brand new podcast over there called Oh Yeah Daddy, where I exploit the fact that I am now a dad and becoming quite the cliche one. So we'll talk about cliche dad stuff.

You can get it everywhere soon, but it'll be up at part-time funnyman. before it's up anywhere. Part-time funnyman.com. Subscribe, support me, love me, love me, for the love of God, love me. I need it. Love y'all. Part-time funnyman.com. Well, he's a part-time funny man.

He does stand up when he can, but he wants to stay at home and raise his kid. So he sits behind his computer and he does this. Classy. Yeah, I think you started to say something to me or wanted, you were going to ask me about something or something before I butted in and asked about the parenting shit. No, yes, I was going to ask you about doing the show for kids. That's what, that's what it was. Like, and then you literally, we, we, we segueed into it, but I will, I do have something to say on that, which is, that's the one thing that hasn't happened to me yet. And people told, and again, I'm only two weeks in with the kid, but like, everybody was.

was like, oh, man, you know, the thing that's rough is the fact that you, you know, there for a while, you can't really go out and do anything because you don't want to bring a baby to stuff. And I told everybody, I was like, well, I'm already set up for success on that because I don't like doing shit. I, that's, so I also, I did a bit about that exact thing. I was like, I was said, I had said I never written any parent material. And I was like, and I think why a couple, you know, and I was like, one of the things is like, I really don't like hearing young comics talk about. having kids when they don't have kids because it's always some version of like,

oh yeah, it sounds really fulfilling, bro, to have to sit at home instead of doing drugs with three chicks at an EDM festival, you know, like I was going to do instead. That sounds way better. And the whole thing was like,

I was like, let me tell you, as a dude in his 30s, like, yeah, it does sound way better. Like that's way better. And I,

and then I had a bunch of other shit, but I was like, dude, you get past like 35 or whatever. I was like, you don't want to do stuff. Like, doing stuff sucks.

You're forced. to do stuff and kids are like a cheat code for getting out of doing stuff. So we may just have to do this when we're separate because I'm working on a bit that's, I mean, we'll tell it different because I'm goofy and you're smarter. But yeah, it's basically like how I didn't realize all the steps I had been subconsciously taking to make this transition the most seamless in my life.

Because like I had basically just gotten to a point where all of my hobbies and everything that I like to do were perfect for a dude who, didn't want to ever leave the comforts of his fucking home. And like, and they told me, they're like, well, dude, I'm telling you after the first week or two, like, you think you don't like doing stuff, you'll be dying to do stuff. And I'm not there. Like the only thing, the only thing that I've wanted to do is the same thing I've always want to do, which is go play a little golf.

And like, I've done that. And I have a system for like, you know, I'll basically, if I know I want to play golf the next day, I know that I can't just get away with by everybody. But so I will be like. like, hey, Amber, why don't you sleep throughout the night? And I'll stay up and bottle feed him and I'll do all this stuff. And so I'll let her get eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. And then the next morning when she wakes up and wants to hang out with the baby,

I'll go, hey, do you mind if I slip away for nine holes? And she's like, oh, you do it, baby, you deserve it. You know what I mean? And I know that'll go away too. But like, that's all I want to do is play golf. And most of the time, I'm now, I have a training mat. I just play in the yard. And every 10 minutes, I come back in the house, check on her, fill up her water,

burp the baby if I need to. But for another thing, I don't really like being away from him. I like, it's the same thing. You know, kind of the same thing I said when people were like, oh, hanging out with your wife sucks. And I always been like, not for me. And that's the reason I married her. You know, I like her. She's, she's cool.

We have similar interests. Well, the baby is that times a million because I remember when me and Amber, when the baby first came out and we just, we'd been with it for a couple hours. We looked at each other and we didn't say anything. but it was almost like an understood that at that moment we both were thinking oh my God, I love this motherfucker more than I love you. We both love this thing more than we love

each other and it was just that knowledge, you know? It's like, I want to be with my fucking son. So I'm glad y'all are on the same page about that. First of all, one thing we're talking about you know, oh, you're going to, it makes you can't do nothing. You don't ever want to do nothing. I was saying I don't want to do nothing. Of course, you got to understand.

It's like when you're in your 20s, you do want to do stuff, but it's like, but they need to understand that it's like, you'll want it. You either will stop. You either will change in that way. Yeah, right. You should. Like you, like, if kids are the thing that make you mature in that way, then good. Because like, nobody needs to be the 36 year old dude at the raise.

You know what I mean? Think about when you were 22 and that guy was at the rave. Like, that guy wasn't cool. Like, you don't, like, so hanging on to that is like, I'm not saying you should have, Some people ought not have kids. Some people genuinely say, they don't have any interest. I'm fine with that. Don't bother me at all.

But the whole, like, you can't ever do nothing. You lose your freedom, all that shit. It's like, that part is overblown, in my opinion, because, like, life should change with or without a kid. You shouldn't keep doing all the shit you're doing in your early 20s as you get older anyway. Yeah, that's kind of sad. I remember listening to an interview he did, and they were talking about how, how different, like, their first six albums were with the foo fighters.

And, like, you know, you were really trying different. things and he was just like, okay, well, let me break it down for you. He said, between this album and this album, I had a kid. And so my brain changed and therefore I was now a dad writing music and I was looking at everything through that lens. And he goes, and frankly, I think as an artist, as like with anything, like if some big life event happens to you, you shouldn't be the same person after it that you were before. Like, you just shouldn't. Like, it should change you. And those, there's, there's nothing wrong with going to raves in your 20s and having a fucking good time. But the only reason that you're doing that is because you're chasing something you don't have. Like you're looking

for some spark, some joy, something to fit. And then when you have a, I'm not saying the only way to be fulfilled is to have a kid. But like, dude, this shit has genuinely helped with my depression in a way, which I thought it would be the opposite. I thought that like I would get real scared. I would get real anxious and I would, you know, I don't know. But like, I don't know, man. Just having this thing that like I can point to and go, this is what it's about right now. Like nothing else fucking matters. Like all those dreams that you've had are now, there's still dreams, but they're more like suggestions.

You know what I mean? I hope this happens. But if it doesn't, guess what? As long as he has money or enough money, you know, like I make money for him to have a nice life and he don't get stabbed and shit. Like I did it. Like that's my success now, you know, like that. Like it, dude, if I never, I don't know.

sell another ticket, sell another show or whatever, but he grows up in a comfortable home and becomes a good person. I fucking win, dude. You can't tell me otherwise. Like, you can't fucking tell me otherwise. Yeah, you said earlier, you were like, you said you and Amber realized at the same time, like, oh, damn, I love this thing more than I love you even.

It's like, and it's mutual by a lot. Okay. And I love her, by the way. That, I said, I'm glad you guys are on the same page about that. I'm not saying me and Katie aren't. I've just seen a lot of times on the internet discussions about it and stuff, people relationship advice whatever i've seen a lot of people say versions of like you know in a marriage you got to put your partner before everything before yourself before even your kids like people say

that like you got to prioritize a partner over the kid in a marriage you know that type of thing and i've always been like no it's not that don't sound right to me like i just like i love i love the shit out of katy and she loves me too but like i would expect her to say like for sure dude i love the boys more because like i definitely love the boys more yeah sure sure I love it both. I'm just saying it's nothing else is on that level. I fucking love Amber or I wouldn't have made the thing I love the most with her. But like,

but I would expect when she's making a decision that she'll, she would go, what's best for the baby before she would go, what's best for Corey? You know what I'm saying? Like I would expect, now I think like with a lot of people, maybe like when you have a kid,

you throw everything into your kid that you stop treating your partner with love and more like you treat them more like a fucking coworker or some shit. Like I can see that. You know, it's why you hear people say all the time that you've got to date your wife. You've got to still date your wife. And like, I agree with that. Like, that would be a bummer if Amber did stop wanting to every now and then watch movies with me or what it because she, but again, as long as she's treating the baby fine and not being a huge bitch to me, I ain't going to complain. But like, dude, it like, the baby is the most important thing.

Like, let me put it to you this way. If Amber died, I would be devastated. I would be devastated for. many reasons not higher on the list, then I would have to raise this thing by myself, and that scares me, and I don't want him to not have a mom. But I would get over it.

I would move on with my life. It might take a while, but I'd move on my life. If this motherfucker something happened to him, I'm not moving on. Like, dude, and I only known him for two weeks. Like, I used to, like, this isn't the sound insensitive.

But like, I do remember when, like, I would hear people when, their baby died and I'd be like, oh, how old was it? And they'll say it was like, you know, week, two weeks. Oh, here he is. Donnie. Let me finish this one little note here and then we're going to have you on. I would, I would hear that. I would be like, oh, that is sad, but like,

you know, they didn't even really know them that long. I've known this motherfucker for two weeks. And I'm telling you right now, I wouldn't, I couldn't go on. I couldn't if something happened to it. No, I've always thought the same thing. That's what's so wild about the past. Like literally, I read the other day in like Victorian era, England and before, or I might not have that exactly right, but back in the day, England, old time of England and moving back beyond that, babies and kids, like, it was a 50% more tight. It was a coin flip, one out of two. And that's so crazy.

It's like, no wonder people were so insane and dumb and crazy and hard and everything back then because life was nuts. Donnie, we're talking about babies dying, but we can stop now. What's up, buddy? How you doing? Sorry to join on such a fun note. What's going on? Yeah. Well, that's actually our fault.

Hey, before we continue with Donnie, actually, Corey, you want to take another quick break, right? Yeah, let's take a quick break here, and then we'll be right back. How did they're well-read fans across the skeuniverse. It's your boy, Trey Crowder here. Just want to take an opportunity to let you know. About a couple things that I think, you might think, are cool. There's some things that let you know about in case you don't done to already know about them.

I'm talking about in particular weekly skews, host by me and Smart Mark A.G. If you're into my political musings, and I so many of you are, well, it's all politics all the time, podcast. That's what weekly skews is. Mark reads and knows stuff. I learn and react to stuff. We have a good time. Do the show live every Tuesday night at 5 p.m. Pacific on my social pages.

But also, you can get it as a podcast wherever you get your podcast from, or you can watch it on my YouTube channel. You don't have to be there live. Check it out either way. also if you would like to check out some of the bonus stuff I got going on you can go to patreon.com slash tray crowder I got a bunch of stuff on there for my for my patrons you got multiple tiers I do news reaction videos I learned the news of the day react to them in real time rant and rave do my thing we have interviews with other blue sheet people like Corey, Drew, Smart Mark, my sister, you name it, all kinds of fun people, Brent Terhune.

And we explore the background of me, my political opinions, as well as reviewing many of our country's worst politicos. All that, plus I do audience Q&As and bonus weekly skews episodes all at my Patreon. It's also just a nice way for you to support your boy. So if you'd like to check out the wares over there, go to patreon.com. slash tray crowder and do so and then lastly one stop shopping for me if you want to come see me live which i sure would appreciate you want to check out my and me and the guys amazon specials you can find all that by going to tray crow crowder.com last and not last but not least i love him like chicken thank you for being here and enjoying the well-read podcast and we'll keep doing it if you

keep listening to it baby see you love you bye and we're back all right so donnie stang stack is with us Donnie's a good friend of ours, lovely, lovely man and a wonderful comedian. Donnie, I'm going to set this up for you real quick, just so you know exactly what happened. Last week, Sean Patton was on the show. Oh, he don't know why he's here. Oh, I mean, I don't know. I told him, he knows the story I wanted to tell. We're trying to put a button on something.

Hey, congrats on on fatherhood, Corey. Thanks, foremost. I haven't seen you since. That's rad. Yeah, man, it rules. Yeah, that's what we've been talking about. but now we want to switch gears. So Sean Pat was on here.

He started talking about, he was like, he's like, people may not realize, but there's a difference between killing and being genuinely funny. He's like, people will kill sometimes.

And that don't mean they're actually funny or good comedians, you know, and people may not realize that. And I said, I was like, I just heard a story about that exact dynamic from Donnie Sengstack. And I was going to tell it. And then I was like,

no, we need to have Donnie on anyway. We'll just have him tell it. I did tell Sean after we stopped recording because he wanted to hear it. But the audience has been waiting a whole week and half an episode to hear this story. So not to put too much pressure on you or nothing, but I thought this was wonderful. So you better kill a motherfucker. So you know what I'm talking about. Let's hear it. Yeah. Yeah, I do know exactly the story you're talking about. I've got

a stutter, by the way, just to put that out there. Are you serious? That's not relevant to the story. Yeah, Corey, this might, your kid, my kid. Your kid, my kid. catch it. Better put them in another room. No, but, but yeah, I, I was just on the road with Trey. We, we, we were driving through and doing a bunch of shows around where I grew up, which is in Maryland, mid-Atlantic. That's, that's right where I started comedy. So I took everybody out. The shows were great, by the way, Trey.

Thanks again for having me on this. Wow, you were a big part of it. They were great, but thanks for coming. That was a whole lot of fun, man. So I appreciate it. Yeah. And all those shows were a lot more fun than one of the shows that happened the first year I ever started comedy. It was the only time I've ever been booed off stage.

Yeah. So it was. You're like, what are you, 18, 19? You're a kid. I'm 18 years old. This is like 2013. Yeah. And so I had, I was in the first few months of doing stand-up, but I'm thinking it's going great.

And I get invited to do a bringer comedy contest at the Baltimore comedy factor. Let's tell everybody what a bringer is that doesn't know. A bringer show is where people who are the scum of the, earth, run a show, and make you, you don't get paid. By the way, that's insane. That would be crazy to pay you. What they do is you get like points sometimes based on how many people you brought to the show, right?

So that's what they're basically giving you the illusion of this is good for your career just so that you will fill this comedy club up for them and then they will not pay you. Donnie, I apologize. Go on. Oh, and oftentimes you like, it's a stipulation. Like you have to bring at least... Sometimes you have to put in $20, too. Yeah, and you have to bring at least X number of people or you can't go on stage.

So, yeah, that's a very common tactic. But this is a competition. It's a bringer, but also a competition, comedy competition. Yeah, and the number that X number of people that you were required to bring for this particular show was seven. It was seven in downtown Baltimore. And that's not exactly near where I grew up. I grew up a little over an hour west of Baltimore. Here, Frederick, where we did the show.

So it wasn't exactly easy for me to get seven people to come to this bringer show at the Baltimore Comedy Factory. So what I did, my aunt lived in Baltimore at the time. And I said, hey, I need people to come watch me. He do stand up. And so, like, do you or anyone else know? people who could come and she brought her book club. That's a great audience. Your aunt's book club.

How sweet is that? In the back, all seven of them and they were, the only people I brought, there were four people competing in this comedy contest. I had enough. I had seven, so I qualified to win the contest. Two other comedians did not bring seven,

so they did not qualify, and they were not allowed. Yeah, it's bullshit because it just, yeah, it discounts all the people who don't have a lot of friends. And in my experience, those are actually the funniest people on earth. So it's really sucks. Yeah, well, I was, I started in Knoxville where I had just moved from over, you know, 100 miles away or whatever. And I was like, I don't know anybody but other comedians. Like, I literally can't do that.

Or if there was like a bringer in Nashville or something, it's like, I can drive two and a half hours in Nashville. But like, I can't bring people to a Nashville show. So anyway, but Donnie figured out with his aunt's bull. club. Are these are all, is this like seven middle age nice ladies? Like are they churchy at all? Like what's their demeanor? Are they like, you know?

A lot of them are like public school teachers. And nice, yeah, polite old, old ladies. And the other person who brought people brought, I am not exaggerating triple digits. Plus loads of people, like over a hundred people and packed out the club. and they were not book club this was all in inner city Baltimore yeah not my aunt's book club were the only seven white people there gotcha and they were not book club times yeah so she uh qualifies for the contest. Let's just let's yeah and each of the of the four comedians competing gets a total of three minutes they gave us three minutes each that's rough to compete dude let me I just this is like the

inside baseball part but I've just got to know there's four of y'all in the competition you get three minutes each like that's not even a show like what was the rest of the show that's 12 minutes like if people pay to come into the club and watch 12 minutes and that was it or did they have like the The show was the headliner. It was Jason Weems, Baltimore comic, who's fantastic. I love Jason Williams. You ever get the Jason's name? Check him out.

And so after 12 minutes, Jason goes up and does 40 on the events that had transpired during the 12 minutes of contest. Yes. So what happens is the first two comics who didn't bring enough people go up first and, you know, have fine sets. They're not memorable. The third comic who goes up is the woman who brought all 100 plus people. And she, she, he gets on stage. They're already bringing her onto a standing ovation because she brought everybody in the crowd just by walking on stage. And so she did probably three sentences total.

in the three minutes of her show. And she was a not put like four hundred three bills, four bills. Yeah. Big, big lady, big black lady. Yeah. And her first joke is the doctor says I'm supposed to lose weight. But how am I supposed to lose weight when two big Macs at McDonald's is $5? Yeah.

Observational. Howling laughter. Everybody, yeah, everybody had a version of that joke back in the day, you know. Oh, yeah. Everybody's fist pumping. Oh, I know that's right. That wasn't a black impression, by the way. That was just.

Absolutely crushing with just that first sentence. And then as the laughter is building, she reaches into her giant cleavage. Uh-huh. and removes a drumstick from KFC. A piece of fried chicken and goes, I got chicken in my tini's. Yeah. Which does it.

I got chit. People are rolling on the floor laughing. I got titty chicks. She just keeps going. I got chicken in my titties. I got titty chicken. People are going nuts. And I'm in.

the wings. Yeah. Donnie's waiting to go on, dude. She's up there waving this chicken leg around everything. People are dying, losing their minds, dude. Like when Richard Simmons was on whose line is it anyway. Like, fucking, they're dying. What do I mean, I know what you're thinking, but like, what are you thinking in that

moment standing back there watching this? Now I'm thinking, I'm going home. I'm walking at, like, I'm not going on stage. I go, I'm getting in the car and driving home as soon as I'm I'm leaving the club. I'm refusing to do. But me at 18 years old and six months into comedy, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed thinks I can play off this energy.

Yeah, yeah. I can. She got them warmed up for me. Yeah, she got warmed up for me. Thanks for that, lady. I'm going to ride this wave. Yeah, right. So my idea is like I went to,

I went back to the back of the club where my jacket. was I put on I put my jacket back on so I would have like a cleat like a fake cleavage to reach into like a little zip up hoodie and so I thought well what's like the whitest food I can have in my fake cleavage that I can you know so so she finishes her set those are the only words she says in three minutes and just it crush it like they're they're standing and they're standing and clapping and they absolutely love it. She's still holding the chicken, which you know. Right.

So she says literally the two lines. The second line is, I got chicken in my titties. And then for the rest of three minutes, she's just like presenting the chicken legs. She was waiting out. Did she take a bite of it or anything? No. She's like, I got titty chicken.

I got chicken in my tithe. She just says those two lines back to back. Broke. Lafts still coming. And then as she's walking off stage, it's a whole drum. The host takes a bite out of the chicken. Yeah, that's it.

And the whole other explosion of laughter. Right. Like, it's, that's gross. So I'm like, all right, let's go. It's go time. I got this. And so I, he goes, okay, ladies, gentlemen,

your next comedian, Donnie sang's neck. I walk out on stage. I reach into my, like, jacket, you know, thing and go, Aye, everybody. Not to be outdone, but I've got some gluten-free trail mix. Just crickets. Yeah, right. It didn't hit for the, it's not, it was just like, oh, it's the whitest thing I could think.

Yeah. And so then I. Did you say not to be out done? Did you say that? Word for word. Because that's like a real, that feels like a real white saying to me, too. Yeah. I think I would be out done.

Not to be outdone, but I've got some gluten-free trail mix here. And everybody's just like- It didn't get for them. No. No. Didn't really. And then at this time, I'm like one year, and all of my jokes are like, I've got a stutter, but the ladies tell me I put the stud in stutter. And then I've only got to write five minutes of material for a 10-minute set.

Yeah. And then the one point, like, I, the crowd just goes Huh? Boo! That ain't how you spell stutter, motherfucker! Bring back

Titty chicken. They go bring back Titty chicken. They start chatting it. Bring back Titty chicken at me. They go, Titty chicken, Titty chicken. And I'm like, I'm like, uh,

I got nothing. And then the Then at that point, the host is like already on stage. Like pulling me off. And they bring her back up another standing ovation. They brought her own just to do more time, didn't she? He didn't do any more time. She just did more waving the chumsick.

And they closed out the contest. The host goes, hey, I am not supposed to like, Like, hey, this is the point in the show where we're supposed to have a clap off to determine who wins the contest. And he goes, but I don't think I need to do that. And the crowd goes, no. And he raises her arms. She wins. And then my buddy, Jason Weaves, goes up and does like 45 minutes.

She goes, she's got chicken in her titties. And keeps on. Dude, that's so funny. By the time I get back to the table where my aunt's book club is, they're gone. Your aunt's book club is gone? They're in the club for 12 minutes. Yeah. And my aunt's, it's like, I'm craving bojangles for some reason.

I didn't like them that much anyway. Dude, that is like, because I don't, I'm trying to think if I've ever had even a remotely similar experience. to that. I mean, Corey, do you have anything? Like, were you just back there like, well, I'm fucked? No. I mean, I've had that thought before, but not for a reason, but I wasn't mad about it. Like, it's, it's, it's, I've had that happen when somebody goes up and, and crushes, but like, with good reason, you know, like, I'm when I was early on being like, okay, well, I'm not that good, but it was, but that would have, dude, I would have been so pissed going like, I would have wanted so badly. And I may have because I'm not

a sweet boy like you, Donnie. It's possible that I would have gone up and berated the crowd and explained to them these ain't even jokes, motherfucker. Like, well, I would say anybody could do that, but she did, like, you have to be her in order for, like, I

couldn't do exactly what she did and that'd be funny. You know, but like, I would have been fucking, you know, you're already mad because, like, the point of this contest is to bring people. I don't fucking know anybody here. And then that happens. And, yeah. But no, I've never had anything close to like that happen.

Why don't you, if you don't mind, Donnie, what about that other story of what happened at Zanis? You know what I'm talking about that you tweeted about, got shared by like David Cross or whoever else, a bunch of people? Pat and Oswald. I'm an idiot and went viral with, it. It's an anecdote. Yeah. Everyone's posting clips now, not me. I don't record and then write out a traumatic story daily.

Yeah. Do you know what I'm talking about already? Corey, have you heard this one before? I don't know his stutter. It involves... If you told me at Zanis last year, I only don't remember it because I was so very drunk. Yeah. Yeah, it was around the same time of your Christmas show. It was either right before or right after, but it wasn't that long ago.

I get on stage for the new material Monday night at the Ae's, and so I go on stage and like you do a thing where they let comics who have been doing it a while go on stage and like, I will give you eight minutes to try out some who jokes I was on one of those nights it's a full room

and he's I get maybe a few jokes in you know I and then this guy is sitting like off kind of to the side of the stage on the wall by the head shots

and he he he starts like chiming it like talking up out loud, but he's not really saying anything. During your set? Yes. During my set,

I can't really tell what's going on. So I like look over to him and I think at first he's making fun of me because he's over there going, but bu, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, this has happened before. People make fun of my stuff. Yeah, right. A lot.

It just happens. Like, like this. There are sometimes where people will come up to me after shows and be like, do, do, do, do. You killed it, dude. I think it's endearing and I'm going to be like, thank you. Wow. What a great addition.

That's so funny, dude. The things that some people will say thinking it's going to hit for you is crazy. But that's like one of the more egregious examples I've ever heard. When people heckle you by making fun of your. stutter you said that's happened before like i assume everybody's automatically on your side right like in the crowd like that's like a you're in a good not that not not that you want that to happen it's not a good position but i'm saying it's like people oftentimes crowds don't like hecklers anyway they shouldn't and usually they don't but especially one who's doing some shit like that i would

think they'd be like you know get rid of this motherfucker or whatever yeah but this one case and Zanis was a particularly unique case where the guy was like stuttering at me and then I like thought he was making fun of me so I like held the mic down towards and was like and said go off King

and like no like the crowd was like stop what no that guy's really stuttering and he was he was He was like really like stuttering And so I stopped To let him finish what he was saying

And he goes, hey I I've got to stutter And you're making fun of me And then the crowd goes Aw I mean he think you were fucking around Then he goes to me like hey

No no he He He I said no I'm not making fun of you I've got a stutter too. My intention is never to, you know, make fun of you. It's just to, you know, point out funny situations that I find myself in. And then he goes, you, you're a liar.

He accused me of faking it on. Who on earth? Dude, yeah. Dude, nothing runs all over me more than. than when people, as oftentimes happened, accuse me of faking my accent. Like, that pisses me off. Literally worse than anything else.

Oh, yeah. People say horrific things about me. You could shit on my head. Nothing pisses me off. Nothing pisses me off more than when people accuse me of faking my accent. I can't imagine somebody accusing you of faking your stutter. People will literally post on my shit and they're like, I'm from North Georgia and nobody there talks like that.

And I'm like, okay, bro. But yeah, I know. It has to go. double, triple, quadruple for you. Because it's like... When it happens online, it's just like, okay... Yeah, right. We'll brush it off, but in like a live audience,

when the audience goes, like, ooh, like, they bought that he called me out on my stutter, and then I then had to, like, defend my stutter, like, I didn't, like, prove my stutter cred. Yeah. Well, let me say something real quick. If you think it's all performance, I've been with Donnie several times when he wasn't on stage and it was just us hanging out.

And if you ask him what type of sandwich he wants you to get him from the store, you're going to be there for 10 fucking minutes. He's not faking. It's real. It's adorable. And it should not be made fun of. So how did you establish your stutter cred? What'd you do? Like, I do a joke about it in a now, but it's like, I'm a card carrying member of the union.

When I hear the factory whistle, I wake up and I speak. stutter from sun up to sundown. I serve three tours of duty in speech therapy. Yeah. Where did you serve? Like a stutter stolen valor video? Yeah. So I have to like, but I did.

I just kind of like had to like dig in and like be as apologetic and like kind as possible and let him know that like, hey, I know what you've been through. I know what your family's gone through. Like this is really hard. And I want to like, please let's talk after the show and like let me know how you think I can can do better. Because I have, I've got a voice up here. And I want to, you know, be as positive as positive an influence as I can be for everyone who has a stutter. So I get a standing ovation. I walk down.

I shake, shake the guys. Yeah. So you say all this stuff. It's all sincere or whatever. And people, people love it. They're like, yeah, good for these guys. This is a sweet moment. That's the whole career, Trey.

Yes. People love it. I get like a standing ovation. And then at that point, my time is over because obviously this exchange took a while. Took a while. So someone in the crowd shouts, give them five more minutes. They're like, yeah, yeah, give them five. So I, they give me five more minutes.

It crush it. Like it couldn't have gone. But I've never had a crowd more on. on my side. I get off stage and then Josh Black, a local Nashville comic, is up next. You guys know Josh? I know who Josh is, yeah. He's great. So he goes on stage and is like, man, it just got so woken here. I feel like I have to hit a woman to balance the energy out. And nobody laughed. Not a soul in the audience left. I bet all the comics in the green room

were fucking dying. Yeah. Losing it. It was great. So, so the show ends. And then I've like, like, there's a few more comics left. And then by the bathroom in Zanis, the staff comes in and says, hey, he's waiting for you by the bathroom. I was like, okay. The stutter guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The guy who fake this.

I was like, I promise I talked to him. So I go back there, I talk to him. I thank him for everything and like, ask him like, hey, I don't know what. What do you think I can do better? What do you think needs to... Needs to happen here. There's a National Stuttering Association chapter here in Asheville, that if you ever need help, there's a very...

A good support system. So he's like, yeah, yeah, he's nodding along and going back and forth through all this. And then right before he goes to leave, he kind of shakes. my hand, I know, pulls me in close and goes, hey, just so you know,

I was faking all that shit. What? I was, I was, what did you, what did you say to that? How did you react to that? He goes,

hey, just so you know, I was faking all that shit. I was trying to help you blow your shit up. He tells me, I did a great job. It's like, oh, well, thank you.

So he thinks he's the hero in this situation. He thinks he's the hero in this story. Look what I did for you. So did you just kind of go, were you like dumbstruck? Like were you just kind of like, okay, what? All right. See you. I've never been that close to like, I'm a very non-confrontational person.

And like that is a type of crazy that should not be dealt. Yeah, yeah. I said thanks for coming to the show. Yeah, because in that situation, like you, to me, in my opinion, you would have had every right to blast that motherfucker in the face. But at the same time, yeah, for sure. And everyone would have supported you. We would have all hit him too. But when you really look at that situation, especially in hindsight, you're like, if somebody is capable of doing that in public, dude, they will bomb my car.

You know what I mean? I was, I was going to say the same thing. It's like, dude, honestly, like the fact that he did that and fooled the whole room, including you, a person with an actual. stutter, like, that's like legit con man shit. Like in, like in a movie about con man, right? Like, that's the type of thing. It's like, it's wild that people can actually pull off. Like, the balls to even attempt that.

I did not see that comment. And the balls to even attempt that. And then the fact that he, like, executed it. And admitted it. And then, yeah, it's crazy. Also, like, I hadn't been on stage that long initially. like I had done maybe three or four jokes. And then he goes, okay, time for me to.

Yeah. Time for me to do these plotting. Yeah, yeah. It's not like he knew you were going to be there and plan this at home. Like he came up with that whole scheme on a whim. On a whim. I didn't even really think about that part. I didn't either.

That makes it so much crazier. That is wild, dude. I can't imagine. Was he like really drunk? No, he was, so the, he talked to the, he talked to the, servers and they said that he had ordered a pinia colladas all night and then at the end of the night faked a coconut allergy

that's that's a little bit less smooth of a con in my opinion that's that's more garden variety conning that there oh god it's not coconut is it to get out of paying for them yes yeah yeah and they comp to tab. But after this whole thing happens, obviously we tell the whole staff and they, they're able to find his social media. And he, like, his Instagram bio is the pursuit of happiness, which very funny. And all of his posts, he's, he books like illegal, like underground all male strip shows in middle Tennessee. This guy ain't real. He's wild

I swear I will send you his Instagram Corey after we Please I'll put it I'll put it in the link to the fucking episode So we don't know if we don't do that Yeah you're right We shouldn't do that Yeah that's good call

Yeah I do want to see it though Yeah yeah yeah I'll send it to you But it's so Every layer is more ridiculous And also like There were maybe 150 people at

at that show and three different people have come up to me in public afterwards. You see like, hey, you're the comic from that show with the guy with like the guy who stuttered. They don't say the guy who faked having a stutter. Right. They don't know that. They don't know what you need. Right.

They don't know. They're like, remember. Because who the fuck? Right. People will just come up and be like, hey, remember when you have that sincere interaction with that? man. Yeah. Which one? Oh, yeah, yeah. You mean, wait, there's so much more to it. So I've shown them his Instagram. So you went through the whole thing with them because then that happens. I was going to say when that happens, you tell them like, yeah, well, here's the thing about that. Yeah.

I mean, I would too. Yeah, of course. So I posted the whole story on Twitter. It went like super viral and got like one and a half million like hits and all these people shared it. And right before I go on stage that night Connor Larson, good friend of mine, offers to film my set. And I'm like, no, no, this crowd's not great. And you killed, didn't you? And the story goes viral and I don't have an accompanying video clip. So like half the quote tweets are like, this is a huge waste of time.

Does anyone believe this actually happened? Dude, that fucking, ain't that just the way? Like, you almost know, you're like, I don't want to even set up my camera because if I do, then it will suck. It's only when I am not going to ever have evidence of it. Do I really, really, really, really crush and do well and nobody believes me. Yep. God, that's a fucking bummer. But did Zaney's not, did they not just record shows from time to time?

Probably not on New Material Night. Yeah, not on New Material Night. And it's this, it's like, they have a feed that goes to the green room, but it's just like a, yeah, C, C, C, C, C, yeah. Well, that fucking sucks, man. If I could, uh, I used to think if I had a time machine, I'd do all the, you know, like, oh, go back and, you know, kill Hitler, fuck Marilyn Monroe. Do I, I, I think I would use my past to go sit in this show and film it with my cell phone. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Well, look, you know, uh, we're about out of time, Donnie. I know we only had time for two stories. plug your shit. What are you going to do? You'll see yourself alluded to. But we'll definitely have you back on in the future. But yes, please let people know how they can follow you and all that good stuff.

Definitely. Yeah, check out at Don Sanctzac on Instagram, Twitter. Those are the main things you can find me on. I post all my shows there. I'll be at Zanis April 17th and April 24th for the Nashville. comedy festival. So check check that out.

If you come, please behave yourself. Yeah, right. Hey, Donnie, a little bit of housekeeping. As soon as we stop recording, stay on until your shit's uploaded. I didn't tell you that before. So with that being said, thank you all for listening to the well-read show.

We'd love to stick around longer, but we got to go. Or tune in next week if you got nothing to do. Thank you, God bless your good night and skew. All right.