wellRED podcast - #329 - Poop Transplants & Grown Men Crying!

Episode Date: July 12, 2023

Andi won't give Drew a poop transplant and we all got opinions about it! Also the boys talk about how having a kid changes how you see art! Did you know you can Pre-order Trae and Corey's new book right now? Yes even the audio version! Please do so right now and make them the happiest boys on earth! Pre Order Round Here and Over Yonder!  For tickets to see Drew: DrewMorganComedy.com For tickets to see Trae: Trae Crowder.com For bonus stuff from Corey, check out PartTimeFunnyMan.com (if you cant afford the 5 dollars a month, fret not, you can have it all for free!) Check out all the podcasts in the extended Skewniverse: Weekly Skews, Gravy Baby, and Puttin On Airs! To watch episodes of Puttin' On Airs go to WatchPOA.com

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion, because you used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie. I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now. Skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people. People across the ske universe, I should say.

Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year? Do you even know? Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery? Getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low main? Because that's a thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better.

And it's called Rocket. money. Rocket money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket money shows all your expenses in one place, including subscriptions you already forgot about. If you see a subscription, you don't want any more, Rocket Money will help you cancel it. Their dashboard lays out your whole financial picture, including the due dates for all your bills and the pay days. In a way that's easier for you to digest, you can even automatically create custom budgets based on past spending. Rocket money's 5 million members have saved a total of $500 million in canceled

subscriptions with members saving up to $740 a year when they use all of the apps. Premium features. I used Rocket Money and realized that I had apparently been paying for two different language learning services that I just wasn't using. So I was probably like, I should know Spanish. I'll learn Spanish and I've just been paying to learn Spanish without practicing. any Spanish for, you know, pertinent two years now or something like that. Also, a fun one I'd said it before, but I had a, I got an app, lovely little app where you could, you know, put your friends' faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got, I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like

twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies, you know, those weren't a little like the cue ball looking twin fellas. Yeah. So that was that in response to? What was that a reply gift for just when I did something stupid? Something fat and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first, but then I quit using it and was still paying for it and forgotten.

If it wasn't for Rocket Money, I never would have even figured it out. So shout out to them. They help. If you money dumb like me, Rocket Money can help. So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with RocketMoney. Go to RocketMoney.com slash well-read today. That's RocketMoney. money.com slash well r e d rocketmoney.com slash well read and we thank them for sponsoring this episode of the podcast.

They're the. What's up? Wellred fans? Got something exciting to tell you if you're following me and Corey on the social media there, which I assume you do. You already know we got us a new book coming out. Me and him. It's called Round Here and Over Yonder.

And then, Joe, what's that subtitle? A front porch travel ride by two progressive hillbillies. parenthetical. Yes, that's a thing. We always got to have an elaborate colon at the end of a book title. Apparently, publishers love that stuff. Anyway, it's a travel guide. It's a humorous satirical travel guide, a collection of comedic essays about our sojourns around this country and then including around this country and also across the pond to England and Scotland. Yonder Yonder. We hope you enjoy it. You can pre-order it by going to, we're working. we're going to go, Corey. Well, first off, I'll put it in the description of this podcast, but if you're someone that doesn't look at the description of this podcast, you can either go to traycrouter.com or Corey Ryan Forrester.com. It's on there as well.

But to make it easier for people who need one step, it will be in the description to this here podcast, Trey. That's how I'm going to do that. And hey, by the way, we're number one in travel humor right now. So thanks to all of you who have already preordered. And, yeah, check it out. Check it out. What's up, Jay?

What's up, guys? You're talking about your book? See? All right, but we're done now. What is that? Is that a beer? No, it's a, I'm off the beer. It's a health-aid kombucha pink lady.

Off the beer, are you? Off the beer. Like, and the, I assume, like, not as in, I've switched to whiskey. Yeah. No. I tried that, and it don't work, because here's what happens. And this is like a pretty old joke probably. It's worse.

Like, well, I have two tequila. And I'm like, oh, hell. Yeah. Give me a beer. Oh, yeah. But, no, you guys are going to love this. I have candida. It's like medium bad.

It's not super bad, but it will be super bad if I don't get on top of it. And what that is is a yeast infection in my stomach. So I have a yeast infection, boys. That's, buddy, I've honestly, I've been thinking you had one for years on account of how your farts be. Like, that was real, you know, you some yeasty farts. Yeah, I'd be. brewing my own beer i think Thompson has a version of that too

he's had some kind of infection in his uh what does it feel like his guts his guts before i mean dude it fucks him up bad uh did you know how like even when i get skinny i look i mean my mama called me the Ethiopian child my mom said it not me cancel nancy yeah you're like proof and bread in your belly well it's like even when i'm skinny

which just only happened a couple times since i was a kid but even when i was a kid where there's no fat on me I just had this round belly. You just blowed. Yeah. Yeah. So I googled Candida, not because I didn't believe you just to read more about it. And the second, the second, the second highest response or result is vaginal candiasis under fungal diseases.

I think it's a, like you said, a yeast infection, but like literally, literally the same thing, except instead of been a vagina, it's in your gut. That's same point. Yeah, if you have a different type of yeast infection, they name it other stuff. Like there are like things you can get on your, I think athletes' feet might be yeast. It might be bacteria. I might be wrong. But my point is like, I have the one. The yeast infection is in my belly.

It's in my man pussy. Okay. So I know that like obviously when you have some sort of yeast infection, you've got to stay away from beer because that's yeasty. But is that what caused it? Probably an influx of sugar. It's a gut imbalance. So it's like part of that stuff that everybody feels like everybody's talking about now. We're like your guts, your gut biome is actually like the most or second most important thing in your body in terms of your day-to-day health.

Mine's out of whack. So you need some candida. And then you need, is it probiotics, Andy? Yes. You're shaking her head, yes. A balance. And I'm out of whack. And when you get out of whack, probiotics is what keeps you in balance, but they can't fix it.

you got to starve the yeast a little, and they feed on, as I'm sure you guys know, because you pay attention in biology class when they told you how to make alcohol. He feeds on sugars. Sugar, yeah. And obviously you've got to cut back on sugar, but your body turns any carb into sugar. Yeah. Well, hell. There is one other cure.

There's one other cure. Yeah. If Andy would give me her poop, but she won't give me her poop, boys. Oh, a fecal transplant? and she won't do it. Wait, why won't she do it? I feel like the person receiving the poop would be the one that didn't want to do it. Put it in your butt.

Yeah, you didn't know about fecal transplant? You don't know about fecal transplants? Yeah, yeah, but I thought that was for like a whole other. I thought that was like a 10 things, dog. Yeah. Rick people do it all the time. You can, I was just say it is for a serious thing if your insurance is going to pay for it. Right.

Yes. Can they not take a, they can't just take the bad poop out. They got to put good poop back. back in because it's what you're missing it's not what you got it's what you're missing okay just like love so if you have healthy shits it's probably because you have good bacteria like a good biome and one of the ways they can help you get a good bound is take some matter of fact if you have real healthy shit you can make a lot of money right now in california because of the rich people paying a lot of money yeah and then i thought about doing that but it

it kind of weirds me out it's like even this conversation it's like how do you talk because i I'm aware that there are people listening in their cars right now, and they might be eating a sandwich. But, like, the way they do it is they put it in this capsule that, like, in theory just won't break down until it gets to your colon. Oh. You take it like a regular pill? Poop pills?

And I just can't do it. Okay, okay. Well, you can't do that. I get that. But, like, what I thought you meant was that, like, Andy was refusing to poop and a pill for you. She is. That's also happening. I would love the shit in Amber.

You can just do it at home. Like you could just take Andy's poop and put it in a pool. Why wouldn't that? Just empty a cratum capsule and have Andy's shit out. Those broke down too quick. Then I'm just literally eating shit and I'm going to get bad sick. But what I could do, Corey, shove one of those up your butt.

I apologize to everyone listening. But yes, that's what I was planning on doing, Tray. When I asked her for her poop, in my mind, I was going to put her poop in my butt. And I said to her, you got to put your poop in my butt. And she said, don't ever say that to me again. Yeah. You can do with that.

Remember when we heard about that freaky couple? We don't know their name. That was Lydia Lovelace. They told us that. Yeah, I wasn't even going to say that. But yeah, that's fine. Lydia, yes. I don't remember exactly yet.

So tell me. She said she knew. Yeah, I mean, it's fine. There's like multiple degrees of separation here again. We don't know these people. She told us she knew people that had a. kink where I don't remember which partner did it, but somebody pooped and put it in the freezer. Yeah.

And then when the poop froze completely, they then shoved that poop into the butt of the other party. They'll do, do, yeah. Like a dill do do, yeah, exactly. But, dude, you can do that. Just shove it all up there and then leave it because people get stuff stuck in their butts all the time. But in this case, you would be meaning to do it. You just freeze it. It might be a little, might be a little uncomfortable, my hip, but it would thaw pretty

quick and then now you got in a minute you know yeah um she just refuses boys but also uh i just realized i wonder if those people what if the one like this no what if the one receiving it yeah what if the one receiving it got bad guts from it yeah they got that happened bad bad is that an STD make you better yeah probably you have actually made me this is the sexually transmitted diarrhea, boom. This is the first time that that anecdote has ever even started to make

any semblance of sense to make. Before I was like, how? Why? How do you even... Wait. You think this is how they got started? I'm not saying it is. I'm saying it's a working theory that kind of makes sense.

No, they're degenerates. Okay. There's a, like, scat kink kink is a thing, and then like that's just, and so's getting fucked in the butt. So, like, that's just a Venn diagram that looks like a butthole. But I'm saying if Andy did give you her poop and you throws it and put it up your own butt, right? Yep.

Let's keep going. Sure. I hope my mom's listening. And then that started, and then that kind of hit for you, you were like, oh, damn. It would hit. It would hit. You know, like, now you're a bad guy before long, you know. Buddy.

Let me tell you all something that is always bothered me. and you have made me feel better about it. This is now relief for me. I cannot be that guy because I cannot stand anything going into my butt, even the tiniest finger. And I know I'm missing out on something. When you hear people talking about the prostate milking situation, I'm like, yeah, once a year on my birthday.

Buddy, the other day, I took a big shit and howled in pain. Your boy's got a tight, sensitive asshole. And it is, I've always felt like it's holding me back. but I now feel like it's keeping me from becoming the worstest version of myself. I feel like I've got a pretty tight butthole because I like can control my farts like a trombone. You know what I mean? Like I can like get some if I want to get like a like a high note, I can do it. And I think that only happens with a tight butthole when it pierces.

But it sounds like you can move it, which makes me think you could relax it. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Right. Yeah. No. I feel you on that one.

Like a trumpet player could probably Deep Throat pretty good Yeah Probably Do you want to try my poop? I don't know if a hitch or not But I got it. No

Why would I try your poop? You're the only person With worst guts to me I don't know Ever since I mean That's not really true anymore It's like a dude in a wheelchair Rocking up being like

You want my legs? No I stopped No I almost said this earlier But I feel like I've said it on here before But like When I stopped drinking

All the goddamn damn time, that kind of cleared all of that up for me. Now, my poops are like, like, uh, and you say that's wild? Because I feel like it's the opposite. I was being, I was being sarcastic. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, oh, that's wild.

I can't believe. Yeah, right. And I know. Because Drew, you know, Drew should tell me he's like, it's something in your diet. And I was like, no, it's not, you fucking idiot, you know. And, uh, it's like, it's not what he said. What he said was I don't care. Yeah, right.

I ain't try nothing. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Drew. Did Tr. Just admit that he was.

wrong and you were right about something. Yeah. And he did it all the time. I'm not a fucking limit of a heck like you for the record. I need a sound effect on this show. I'm not, I'm not like you, though. I don't do that. I'll admit when I'm wrong all the time. No, you're never wrong.

No, I stay admitting when I'm wrong. No, I stay admitting when I'm wrong. Can't tell you how many times I've said I'm wrong about that. Yeah, but you shape it in a way that makes you hit. Like, he absolutely does that. That's different, though. That's different, though. Trey would never admit to being dumb. And that's dumb. I do.

Well, hold on. He doesn't come right now. You are. Can I split the baby? May I split the baby. Of course you. May I split the baby. You are correct that Trey won't admit that he's dumb.

That's what it is. I'm right and he's wrong because that's not dumb. He'll never admit when you're right and he's wrong because then he'd be dumb. Yes. There you go. That solves it. Trey will not admit when he was stupid about something. Wrong is fine.

But stupid. And arguably saying that your guts being fucked up has nothing to do with your diet. is pretty fucking stupid. I know that that was the whole point of the story I was telling was making fun of myself for saying that in the first place. And I was going out how you never do that. God, I hate you.

I love y'all so much. I just despise you in my guts. That's what's wrong in my guts. The debt, just fucking, yeah. What's the verb for despise? Anyway,

or noun for despise. Trey also will admit that he's wrong in this scenario because that's about like not changing shit. Like, that's like, Tray don't mind it. And like, Yeah, because fucking who,

who wants to change their diet? What am I queer? Like, you know what I mean? Like, he's got that toxic shit in him. He does. As progressive as he is,

he does have some like really stubborn man hangups about things. Yeah. Some of which I really respect and like it makes our friendship better. Like me, like not wanting to be weak and change his diet, hating women. Yep. Mostly those two.

Yeah. Yep. And we've been best buds forever. That was a bit of them. flat and made it seem real. So I'm going to move on. No, I was playing along with it. I was just talking.

You had no way of knowing this, but I was just talking about it on my Patreon earlier today, actually, about how like, and I've talked about, I've, anyway, I don't anymore, but I mean, dude, I used to, you know, I mean, my mom did a real number on me, guys. I don't know if you're aware of that or not. Yeah, for sure. But, yeah. So.

What if she had been a different race and you were slightly racist, too, because of her? Man, that'd have been real bad, and I'm fair. Well, I mean, the reason I was the context, which I was talking about on my Patreon earlier was about drugs specifically. You get heavy on there. But like, it wasn't just like with women, but also like for a long time, like when I was like a teenage, Anxfield teenager and stuff and still in the heat of all that and everything. Like I was like, I probably would have rolled with that, uh, that Filipino dictator guy. Dutte or Duterte or Duterte. The one that like rides a motorcycle and shoots drug addicts.

in the street that way. Oh. But you He also does the thing you take, Corey. That's your brain focuses on the part that's fine. No, I just wanted to make sure we were talking about the same person. And that's like, because what Tray just said, I could put that with about any of those types of dude. You know what I mean? What if they were competing Filipino dictators, one's whole platform was picking up midgets and the other one was shooting drug addicts? And he just just like,

which one's better? I don't know. Pappas across the world are conflicted. So you guys froze up a moment. my I'm pretty bad for a bit there. But yeah, I think you were, like, it was funny to me that I meant, when I said I probably would have rolled with that guy back then, I meant for drug addict shooting reasons. It was funny to me that Corey went with the midget thing. That's what we cover while we froze. He's got his own circus, right?

That hits. I got it. Oh, he murders people? I ain't heard about that. I didn't say hit. I just think that's a good qualifier for me to know which person you're talking about. Because, again, if you put the word dictator, after anyone, I know that he runs

through the street shooting people. I need to know if it's also the midget guy. Jeffrey Dahmer, the guy with the good hair? You mean the dude with a good hair? Is that who you're talking about? But correct me if I'm wrong, isn't he kind of like, you said dictator, he's like a

he's more like a president, right? And he hits for a lot of people. Like, wasn't he, didn't he kind of roped into that whole like Trump, the dude from Turkey, Erdogan or whatever, Bolsonaro from Brazil, this dude. Yeah, right wing fascists. Right, right, yes, but that were like duly elected or whatever and like in illustrated,

dude, many fascists have been chosen. Right. Well, that's all I'm saying. Like I'm saying, like, I've seen Filipinos saying on the internet how they're like Filipino mamma is like, this dude gets it. It's all I'm saying. Yeah, dude. I mean, you just, you just saw how.

Like, the dude literally murders people in the street on. TV and Corey's like the guy who picks up little people he didn't hit also god damn it but I mean come on like that's got to be one of the three things you lead with anyway I don't even remember how we got to oh Drew said I hated women and I said yeah I used to but I got over it and then uh but I also hated drug addicts because she was one of them too so it's all her fault but you know everything's fine now but uh but going way back to me to my to my poop to my my guts. Yes.

Oh, yeah. I'm trying to help you out here, Derek. Everyone listening right now is like, thank God they circle back to the poop. Ever since I stopped drinking all the goddamn time, which has been years now, I feel like my guts are pretty standard, I think. I think. But like with, like, I'm never confused anymore. It was funny that I was ever confused then.

But I drank all the time every day. So it's like, oh, it's wrong with me. Right. And also like when I would drink, like, you know, we'd get to five o'clock or whatever. and I'd have a drink, it would make my stomach feel better because that's how, like, that's how that particular poison be, right? Yeah. It's amazing. I didn't understand that. I didn't realize that either. So I was like, I didn't put it together, but like now, it's not that my stomach never hurts. When my stomach hurts now, like, I know exactly why and exactly what I did, right? It's because, like, I ate a whole pizza or whatever. And now I'm all, it, like, it's very standard shit. If I don't do any of that, I'm pretty much fine. But, but. But, how many turlets y'all mess up, like, on an annual basis, you think? Like, just clogs moved up or just rurned because... Honestly, when I got healthier, I started...

In my life, dude. Like, I'm... I used to never do that. Turlets. Well, I used to never do that because any time my guts was wrecked up, it was poop soup. You know what I mean? Like, it was like, it's, you know, there's a lot of it, and it's gross, but it's going to get flushed down. But honestly, now that I'm...

I'm healthier and I eat a lot of greens and like I have those real hearty like Guardians of the Galaxy Drax poops. I'm actually starting to clog turrets because I used to hear people say. That's how my that's how my poops have been for like at least three or four years now. No, I know. I've heard you talk about it and I was always like how does one? And I was like you mean like with the, because I've clogged plenty up because I accidentally used too much toilet paper because it was so gross.

And I was like, how do you, you clog it up without toilet paper? And you're like, yeah, of course. And like the day I finally did it. Like, I was kind of proud. I was like, oh, yeah, look at that, you know. So anyway, my point is I got plenty of it, Derren. I'll let you have something if you want to just give it a shot. If you want to shove some of my poop up your butt, that'd be fine.

We can be a real popular episode. Yeah, well, speaking of not drinking, I too am not drinking, but just for, just for like, the baby's taking a lot of my time and I really need to have the energy to take care of him plus work. So I was like, I'm going to give up booze again. And using that to transition into my baby, I wanted to mention something that I know Trey knows exactly what I'm what I'm talking about and Drew I want to forewarn you about this because I'm starting to experience for the first time I did talk about it a little bit on my substack but I wanted to hear Trey and yours opinion on it um I cannot now don't get me wrong it never

hit for me to watch any type of art uh or videos or whatever that had something to do with a kid's death or read a story about the kid's death like it I'm not saying it ever hit for me it didn't hit for me, but I could fucking do it. Like, I could scroll past, but like, bro, I, I find myself, like, throwing my phone, like, away when some shit comes up, and I, I'm freaking, like, I'm freaking out.

And, like, it's, it, like, this is what did it for me. And you can make fun of me, Drew and Trey, both of you. My, my buddy Tom, Leslie Jones's tour manager, he sent me, we were talking on the phone, and he mentioned something about his daughter wanting to go to a Taylor Swift concert. And he's like, you know, I'm not the biggest Taylor Swift fan, but she's got this song, uh,

called Ronan. And I was like, oh, shit, it's about ninjas. And he was like, no, it's, uh, he sent it to me. And the backstory was there was this, uh, woman who wrote this blog about the death of her son from cancer. And she wrote this song about it. And I was like, well, I like Taylor Swift. I made it 10 fucking seconds, dude.

I made it 10 seconds. Started crying in the fucking woods. And like, I'm thinking about like, just like the movie my girl could not watch it right now. Fucking like Manchester by the sea, not a chance. And like, I really thought like I'm gonna be different. I'm not a sensitive dude. that. So like, get ready, Drew, is all I'm saying for your emotions to be tangled.

So I, first of all, I've, you know, I know that I've told you that. I've brought that up for year, ever since my, you know, my kids were little. I've said that about myself and I told you that it was a thing and all that. Like, it was intense. But I find my experience is that like, okay, well, first of all, before I get to that, you mentioned Manchester by the sea. One thing that I found that was odd about, I know what you're about to say. I don't know, maybe you do. It would be wild if you do.

I swear to God, I developed like a six cents for that type of thing. I remember when Manchester, Manchester by the sea came out when I was in the midst of what you're talking about, where I just could not, I couldn't handle stuff like that. Anything that involved a kid,

even if they survived, if they got hurt or abused or whatever, I would not, could not watch it. I would start shows. Something like that would come up. I'd quit the show forever. I just thought, well, I'm out.

I'd just turn it off and stop. Like, and with Manchester by the sea, it was a critical darling, all these awards and all this stuff. I had no idea what it was about. And I just, I would not watch it because I just had a feeling that it was something like that. I hope I developed that. And I remember saying, I said something to you about it. You had seen it. and I was like,

I said something like, I was like, I don't know, dude, if he's like, if he's like a deadbeat dad or like, who like emotionally abuses his kids or some kind of shit like that, if that's what's going on in there, then I'm,

I can't fuck with that. And you were like, oh, it's so much worse than that. And I was like, I'm definitely, I was like, well,

then I'm definitely not watching that fucking movie then. And I still haven't to this day. And, but, but I found that at a certain point along the way, when it comes to fiction, that whole thing does kind of fade eventually. Right.

You realize it's like, oh, it's don't be silly. This isn't real. Still, I still can't fuck with, I'm not going to ever, I mean, still,

if I'm scrolling through Reddit and I see some story about somebody leaving a kid in a car or something like that, I like, bye-bye. I click past it real fast. I'm like,

fuck that. I don't read the article. I don't read, like, I don't engage with it. Still to this day, but like in movies, made up movies and shit,

or it's all completely fictional. It don't bother me as much as it used to. But yeah, it was a whole thing for a long time. So here's the question. By the way, huge spoilers coming out for a very good and very excellent movie. It's one of my favorites. What movie? Well, I just want everyone to, if you hate spoilers, leave right now.

We watch this together. Okay. No, you've seen it. We watch this together. I'm doing this for the audience. I was stony baloney. like, which is part of why I had to watch it two more times because it's such a great movie,

but I don't remember how you reacted to, did you have that feeling with a rival with the twist at the end? It was because it, here's the thing, it's not a twist at the end. They established at the beginning of the movie that all that happened, but the three of us came in late. Yeah, like, because we were like, hi,

but we also, we forgot we had like an interview with a newspaper or something, and we were like, fuck, we sat down in the lobby of the theater and did the newspaper interview and then walked in late. Jesus. I haven't re-seen it. And I love it.

But it's awesome. But the thing is, I felt like that kind of played a little bit. And for my particular, you know, my philosophy when it comes to this whole thing we're talking about, because I didn't know. I mean, you already said there's a spoiler, you know, spoilers. Spoilers upcoming. We're talking about the movie. It's an old movie. They have a kid.

Yeah. They have a kid. that dies of cancer, right? And like, but, and that's shown in the beginning, but I missed the beginning. And that movie's kind of like trippy and all this shit. So like, I remember thinking like

this is maybe like a possible time, like, is this a, can this be avoided? Is this, did this really happen to nod or whatever? It wasn't, and then at the end, it like all the little moments and flashbacks they show didn't make a lot of sense if you missed the first of the movie. Right, right.

And then at the end, we all thought that it was like, It was like a twist ending or not a twist, but like a reveal, like it's all revealed at the end. Well, there was a reveal. I got my reveals confused. Yeah. Which is what? That the other scientist is the dad and he left her because she knew it was coming and put him through that anyway. And put him through that anyway.

Yes, exactly. Actually, I read the book that that whole, it's based on a novella and a collection of novellas. called The Story of Your Life and Others or something like that by Ted Chang, I believe. Anyway, a bunch of good shit in there. But that's a really interesting. Because, like, I don't even know where I fall on that. Like, that whole, like, and her whole thing was like, yeah, I knew it was going to happen. That movie's so tripping while.

We'd have to, like, spend an hour explaining the whole thing to get it across. But, like, she experiences time non-linearly. So it's like that it's because the aliens give her the ability to do that. She experienced. She experienced her daughter's whole life, birth, whole life and death all like simultaneously or whatever. And so she knew the daughter was going to die. But yeah, like you said, still put the, but the husband experienced like a regular human just like I got a baby. Oh, God, something's wrong with my baby.

And then, you know, whatever. And so he couldn't forgive her for that. But her stance was just like, oh, but you know, don't be sad that it's over. Be happy that it happened. That's a cheap way of putting like what her general attitude towards it was. But anyway. What's your stance on that? that's right

I dude I don't know like if you were a time I don't even like think about it I don't even like thinking about it

is to think about it literally yeah right as with an example and I don't know dude experiencing time all at once would not be it no

my thing is I can't even wrap my head my puny primate brain around how that's even possible to do you know but like yeah

it'd be some it'd be some shit but like it but it wasn't just so I couldn't handle I couldn't handle anything with kids being hurt or anything like that whether it was fictional or not and I just wouldn't fuck with that stuff yeah but and I'm sure you have this too

like aside from just that anything that was kid or fatherdom related even if it was like positive in nature like something sweet I'd cry like a little baby bitch. A little bitch baby. I would cry my eyes out.

And some things still to this day, like for example, like there's a, there's a Dixie Chick's song called Godspeed. Yeah, boy. All it is is it's like her like singing a lullaby to her small son. Like it's like her singing a lullaby to like a toddler boy. It's all it is. Nothing crazy happens, whatever.

And I got shit, I couldn't, I couldn't, I could cry. Dude, let me tell you what did it to me. The silliest one, or I don't know about silliest, but like the one, and this one still gets me to this day is it's a clip from a Brazilian cooking show. Okay. And it's all grown-ass adults. There's not a kid inside, right? But like, it's a cooking show like chopped. It's like Brazil's version of chopped or whatever.

It's like all these people out on a floor. out on a studio floor competing in a cooking competition against each other and they're under you know they got a the clock is ticking right you got an hour and a half to make this kind of dish for your judges go right and one of them is this chick she's probably about 27 to 30ish or something she's one of the contestants now these people speak english she's all out there uh like run around like a chicken with her head cut off whatever and at one point in the and this all happened the clip itself is like fucking 20 seconds. but like she's running around like chicken that's the context she's running around like crazy suddenly she's she grabs this jar and she's fucking with whatever she stops and she looks around yep she stops and she looks around and then she just runs off she literally just runs completely off the set and out of the fucking studio it looks like and you're like what the fuck and the camera like comes off the thing and looks around trying to find her and she's like up in the audience so the camera follows her she didn't say anything nobody didn't ask somebody can i do this whatever she just ran off the stage into the live audience that they had runs up to the audience that they had runs up to the audience there because her dad is sitting in the audience and she knows that and she runs up there and hands him the jar and he opens the jar and hands it back to her and she runs back down there but it's also that you can see this dad this like 50 something year old dad with he she brings a jar to him and hands it to him you could just like the look on his face it's like hell yeah yeah he would have torn his arms off at the socket before he failed to open that

fucking jar or whatever like just failure was not an option right right Like you could just add it, uh, it, uh, it's like, it just gets me every time to this day. I love that clip. I describing it. I see it in my head and it's, that fucking chokes me up a little bit. I love that clip, but I haven't seen it since I've been a dad. But yeah, I can definitely see how that would, you know, that would do it for me. My music too, and like you said, it doesn't even have to be death.

But like the other day, I listened to a lot of serious country music and stuff. And I was flipping through them and motherfucking Jamie Johnson's, uh, the dollar came on. And I don't know if you remember which one that one is, but it's, Daddy, how much time will this by me? And bro, bro. Can't fuck with that song. And the thing. And the thing, and here's the thing, too. Like, so for all of you that don't know, the song is this kid, the dad goes to work all the time and, you know, isn't really there for his.

I mean, he's not a piece of shit, but he's working a lot. And the kid wants to hang out with him. And the kid starts a savings fund so that he could pay his dad's wages so that he could buy his time. and I've actually been doing a really fucking good job of like being and my kid's just a fucking baby. Like he don't know when I leave for a couple hours, whatever, but like I've been doing a real good job of work, life balance, and that song still stopped me dead in my tracks and made me feel like a piece of shit. And like I was weepy. I was thinking about the future.

Like, God damn, boy. Like, it's just a different, different ballgame. So be a tough drinking son of a bitch all you can right now, Drew, I guess. That right there is the reason that. I used to say, I mean, I still say, but I just haven't said in a while, I guess. But like, all that shit you're talking about is the reason I believe that, like, that it's not possible to experience the true, like, full range of human emotion or the full human emotional spectrum unless you have children.

That don't mean there's anything wrong. We're not having children. Maybe you don't need these extreme emotions that come with it. Like, I'm not even saying that. I'm just saying. I can do without the fear one for sure. Whatever you feel about all that part of it, all I'm saying is I don't think you can feel. There's certain emotions a person cannot feel unless they have a child.

Yeah, I never wanted to be the person who said that. But like, I mean, I can't, I don't know. I don't know anything to say other than like, yeah. Yeah, fuck yeah, dude. Like I, it's, it's like a completely fucking different thing. It's not that, it's not that douchey or whatever. Maybe, I don't know, maybe my other example is about to be dushi too. But it's like, you know, I also feel that way about like Bonner.

basically like like meaning i don't think you can and i'm sure burning man's probably the same way you can't you can't really explain it to somebody what it's like or whatever you could try yeah but like you have to just experience it or whatever having a kid is like that but you know cranked up all the way to 11 basically so it's something just be like that it doesn't mean it's good or bad or whatever but you're i think the way to say it is everyone understands that if you don't experience what I experience, then we don't have the same perspective. You know, you can empathize with me. So like your Bonnarum Burning Man example, I think everyone understands the concept on a base level and a deep level of like,

I can't explain you what it's like. You have to go there and experience it. But I think what you're saying about children is it's that with emotions. It's an emotional experience that you cannot understand unless you go through it. and I think anybody would get that. It's just like, dude, it's two things. One, some people are real shitty about it. You just don't know what it's like.

And then other people are real shitty about being defensive. They just hear you say that you did a thing they can't do. And they just was like, oh, this fucking dick hell, sorry. I'm not opinion. It's like, no, we're just all having different lives. You know what I mean? Yeah, for the record, I would love to be in the position of someone who doesn't experience the tremendous terror that I feel having a child.

Like that's one of them I could do without, you know. Tremence is a good word that you just made up. And I want to say that I like that. What did I say Tremence? I like that too. Tremendous and immense. I meant tremendous or, yeah, right. I meant one of those.

Tremence. It's good. It sounds like a Nolan film that I want to watch. Tremence. But yeah, I'm fucking, I get terrified a lot. And it goes back to a little bit too. Yeah. Well, it goes, a lot of it is connected to that seeing the kid shit in my Reddit thread.

Because I'm like, oh my God, that could happen. You know what I mean? At the moment, my favorite piece of art about fatherhood or the stuff you're talking about is The Road by Cormac McCarthy. And I'm really, really glad that I got to read it as a grown-up without kids. Yeah, right. Because it's so great, in my opinion, as a metaphor for what some men feel. So the book is essentially for the people who don't know. It's a post-apocalyptic world.

A son and a dad are trying to find a group of people who will. help them survive. There's talk of some group that has food that has water, but they're very protective and selective about who they will let in. The father knows they will not let him in. He's too old. He's killed too many people in this post-apocalyptic world trying to, you know, survive, but he knows they'll let his son in. So he's literally walking to his death in order to save his son. And along the way, he's trying to teach his son to survive in this awful, awful world they live in where there's literal murderers about without, wait, is it a daughter? It might be a daughter.

Without ruining the kids' innocence. And I think if I was already a dad, it would have just fucking destroyed me because it's really, really heavy for obvious reasons based upon what I just said. So I'm curious if that'll completely change. You know, you're talking about essentially what you guys are talking about is how you consume art. I kind of get off on being challenged by stuff I watch, but I'm almost looking forward to, like I almost hope that I'm interested in different things,

you know, as a consumer of art based upon being a dad. We'll see. Yeah, for sure. I mean, like I said, I never wanted to cry or nothing, but yeah,

it's different now. I mean, luckily for me and for my kid, the art that I mostly love is shit that my child will also love in about three years. Comic book shit, wrestling,

you know, so I'm on a good path. Yeah, I think, I just also just realized all those songs like that do tear me up, but it's like usually as a son.

Like I just realize, like I'll hear those songs and I think about my dad. I don't think about my kid. Yeah, right. Well, okay. Hey,

that, so it goes both ways. Like you can, like with, like, I'll, you know, somebody with a dead dad,

especially, like the fucking, that type of shit. Who could that be? Right. That type of shit, right. I experience them in both directions is what I'm saying. Like as a father and as a son.

So it's like, you know, the double dildo of emotion up the butt of your brain or whatever. The double dillow emotion of the butt of your brain. Up the butt of your brain. Or the butt of your heart, I guess, actually. It's your heart and brain at the same time. That's my favorite song about father and son, up the butt of your brain. Outfit, you know, that's my job. You know, any kind of thing like that.

There's fathers and sons by Dale McCurry. It's all of them, I think, about both my dad and my sons at the same time. That cat Stephen's joint. Of course. Of course. That's like three one. Outfit's interesting because it's just from the perspective of the son, which I think is kind of unique in terms of the songs we're talking about.

Most of them are written from the perspective of the dad. So does that, when you feel, first heard that were you a dad do you remember if i wasn't i was close because obviously my sons were born when my dad died and that was um out there was decoration day oh no no no no no no no no no the yeah the truckers version i just uh yeah i definitely had heard the song before i had kids and before my dad died for sure but it got like it started hitting way harder after all that shit happened yeah and so leveled up for me as a song but Speaking of songs and going up to butt of your heart and all that stuff and perception and everything.

With a frozen turd. I had a realization recently that I did not see coming at all. So first of all, when we was still doing Bubba, did we ever actually do Indian outlaw or did it just come up a lot because of two sharp? Did we ever actually like cover it? We didn't cover it. And the reason why was we did a, the well-red episode.

of it was a well-read episode in which we just did what we ended up doing on Bob. Right. Right. Yes, that's how I remembered it, too, but I was just double-checking. But if we had, you know, I tried to, in each episode, one of the things I tried to do and sometimes failed was, was whatever song we were covering, I'd try to, like, think of whatever the, like, hip-hop equivalent of it was or whatever. We never did Indian Outlaw, so I never had an opportunity to think of that, but I wouldn't have thought of anything. What is the hip-hop equivalent of Indian Outlaw? but there is one.

And not only, no, dude, not only is this the hip hop equivalent of Indian Outlaw, I almost kind of feel like Tim McGraw ripped this song off and made the country version of this song. And you guys know this song too, dude. Apache, jump on it? Yes, yes, yes, by the Sugar Hill game. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The song Apache, Pima Sabah, jump on it, jump on it, Tonto, jump on it, jump on it. I remember them saying all them people jump on it, but I didn't realize.

Dude, no, if the lyrics are like, it's like that. It's like, uh, please look them up or let me. I'm big bank and I'm the chief. I got a lot of raps, but I'll be brief. I never need a horse. I like to chill, so I drive up in my new Seville. My tribe went down in the Hall of Fame because I'm the one who shot Jesse James. Right.

Then you go down here and it's, uh, had a little talk with my medicine man. He said, get them. squalls as fast as you can to all you girls that want to join my tribe just move to my rhythm and feel my vibe put up a fuss in the end you'll agree when you come inside my tp uh when silver and i take a route all you suckers better step aside i sting squalls then runaway hi-ho silver is what i say uh a powwow rocket out fucking maize moccasins chemisabi mask i'm just looking in all the Indian works. With the mic is how my smoke signals work.

Like, it's, the whole song is just about Indian stuff. I never thought about that. I didn't know that. Yeah. I think I've just heard the hook a bunch. Isn't it the hook in a different song, like a remix or something? Maybe. Every hip-hop song from back then was sampled from something else.

So I'm sure that that had to come from something. No, I mean that hip-hop song, I think, is now in, like, remixes where, or I just fade out. I swear God, I don't think I've ever heard the verses. I just heard that boom, boom, boom, boom, like that fucking Cotton Eye Joe or whatever. Yeah. I mean, the song hits, but. It does hit. But yeah.

Every aunt's basically Indian outlaw. Yeah. I didn't realize that's why my aunts love that song so much because it's the decor of their living room. Yeah. Yeah. Black guy wearing a headdress. What are you going to do? Well, thank you for that.

I really liked that. Yeah. Yeah. I do. I know. I know you guys know this one, but like, this, I'm not comparing this Indian outlaw. It's just Cowboys and Indian stuff.

Get a ghetto cowboy. Oh, yeah, I was, I was thinking of that while you were doing Apache. That's one of my favorite, uh, Bote songs. That's another one, too, like, we talked about all of this, I think, when little Nizak's first came out, but like, because, you know, um, old town road, right? Yes, old town road. Oh, time.

Massive success. Wouldn't put it on country radio. Oh, it's not a country song, whatever. and it's like country hip-hop mash-up all that shit. And we talked about how at the time there was at least two others that I could think of from back in the day. One of them being Ghetto Cowboy. Yeah. Yeah.

Yes. That song is kind of like, it was created in a lab. Joe Jam that has Tim McGraw doing a hook on it. Like, I don't think there's anything. No, I agree with you. I just think we brought it up. The other one. was, is the song still,

Pastor Troy. Still a bitch by Lil Troy. Not Pastor Troy, Lil Troy. Lil Troy. Not bad. Sometimes I get my Troy's confused. Yeah. Do you know that song?

Then you die ho. Straight fade. It's still a bitch of my book. That song starts. That song is like, it's kind of just a country song, but being done by. Houston rappers because it like because it starts out it's like I met her in a bar outside a little

part of Texas never thought she's sleeping around on me and then it just like it's not a rap song at all right it's just a country song sung by rappers and also the parlance of the chorus is something that no country artists of that era would have done dealer would do it you know what It reminds me of fuck you bitch in retrospect. Yeah, right. Yeah. I mean, yeah, it kind of just is fuck you bitch. Which rappers fuck with.

Right. But ghetto cowboy is a really good country song. Like, it is rap for sure, but like the music is all fucking steel guitars and like it's bone thugs? Bone thugs, baby, yeah. It's Mo Thugs, I think, is what, it was like a spinoff situation, wasn't it? Yeah. Oh, okay.

I've got it on my Bone Thugs playlist because, I mean, it is crazy and busy. No, I think three six. was involved. It is bone thugs. Yeah, I was about to say, I'm pretty big bone thugs. No,

no, no, no, it's Mo thugs. But it's busy, bone, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, yes,

Mofugs was like a people from bone thugs and then other people. I think A'L white on that album, who was one of three sixes people. Or was there just another white guy in a group?

You, Ghetto Cowboys, the lead single by hip-hop, American hip-hop collective Mo Thugs from their second studio album, Chapter 2, Family Reunion, and Mo Thugs is lazy and crazy bone.

There you go. And then... Not busy. I apologize. Actually, I mean, according to Mo Thugs is Wikipedia page, Mo Thugs is just Bone Thugs with their, like, homies doing shit with them. When you said it at first, I thought that it, Mo Thugs was like, it was like Casey and Jojo and Boys to Men where they're like, this was just another group that was kind of very similar.

You know what I mean? And I was like, that was about to Mandela affect the fuck out of me. Now, I mean, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby. And a cowboy that was like, isn't it? Name is crazy. Big, badass bon. Bola. Wanted up north of the gold that I stole.

Along with some cats, even took the man's daughter. And that has kids to that. Better G. was with it. So I brought her. They got myself into a whole heap of trouble double crossed by the law. So there's nobody to run to. Yeah, I mean, I could do the whole thing. But I won't.

We'll get flag because I'm so accurate. And there's a woman because me and Paige did it do that. That woman, that woman goes by, I think it's powder pee, I think. My name's powder pee can't get a 12 days out. And that is why Paige's online name is Crowder P on everything is because of the song ghetto cowboy in that verse. Another layer removed from my favorite onion. Yep, that's right.

She's a Vidalia. Oh, yeah. Speaking of onions, by the way, how wild was. that that onion clip from 2012 that I found the other day and sent y'all it's like y'all listen should look it up it's look up uh

what is it uh white hot orb of rain orb of white hot rage something like that by the onion it was they used to have they had a short live TV show that was the onion news I don't understand why that didn't work because every clip I've ever said every clip I've ever seen from that is so goddamn funny and like like there's

It didn't work because they tried to run it as a TV show instead of a clip machine. And it was before clip machines was a viable. It was, dude, if they'd waited three years, it would have been the biggest thing ever. They had another clip where it's like, it's about the local homicide unit, like the homicide detectives, trying to find the black man who killed this white woman. And it's clear from all the coverage that she was mauled to death by a bear, right? but they don't put that together. And they're like, they think it's a black dude.

They're trying to. It's so, it's so goddamn funny. But anyway, the white hot rage one, it takes, it was done in 2012 right after Obama got reelected. And it's talking about early frontrunners for the Republican nomination in 2016. And the frontrunner they identify is a orb of white hot rage, shrieking white hot rage or whatever. And it is wild how, like, Accurate on the nose. The whole thing is.

Predicted in the future. To be clear. Yeah, right. Like, it's pretty crazy. We should spend a whole episode doing our top 10 favorite onion headlines. I would really enjoy that. Go ahead, Drew. Onion versus the Simpsons.

Who predicted the future better? I mean, a lot of them. No, no, I'm saying that should be the episode. Yes, yes. I think Simpsons has more examples, but Onion, when they get it right, it's like. They really get it right. really good at it right. I sent that to a buddy of mine.

Shout out, Chris, who does not listen, who's getting married soon. Congrats, buddy. Who's a huge onion fan. I think his brother used to be roommates with one of the founders and stuff. And I sent it to Chris, and he immediately responded, said, the only other time the onion has been more predictive of the future is when they did an op-ed by the CEO of Gillette titled, fuck it.

Let's do five blades. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the onion, the only difference between the onion and the onion. the Simpsons is like, and maybe it's just because it's been going on for a while. Some of the Simpsons ones, you're like, okay, that's kind of a reach. The onion is like fucking right there.

You know what I mean? That would be a good episode. Simpsons onions. They have a lot of research. They got offices in Chicago and for a while, out of those offices they were doing a little a, like a talk show, like a late night talk show, but it was on

like Fuse or one of those channels or something like that, but it was like the, it actually technically was the AV Club, which is on by the onion. That's right. That's right. So the AV club had a talk show. And I was on that talk show.

And so I went there and I went to the Onion's offices in Chicago and just walking around their offices. They got all these like they got all their they got all these like headlines and shit just like in frames on the walls and stuff. And it was so obviously they're putting the hits up on the walls of the office. But it was such a reminder of like this goddamn thing. This entity has been just crushing so hard for. So long. Because like every single one of them I looked at was like laugh out loud funny. And the whole fucking wall is covered.

It's like 30 years worth of those things. The way they did it so well is they paid for headlines. So they were like like as if they're jokes. So they have a writing staff. But it's not five people who came up with all that for 30 years. It's the internet. I don't know if they still do it that way. I'm sure it's harder now that people are like,

well, if I'm good at that kind of thing, I'll just fucking do it myself or whatever. But there for a while in the 2000s, it was like all the people now who are great at tweeting were just selling headlines to the onion. And of course, you're like 23. You've never been paid to do comedy. And I'm not saying they're underpaying or anything,

but it's just like, hey, we'll give you $150 for a headline. You're like, fuck, one joke. All right, cool. Especially if it's topical. Yeah, and something that you couldn't really, like it formatted that way. It's not like you're going to say that on stage. You know what I'm being? You still can, I guess.

Like if it's on stage, you can format it. differently. Also, there's a part of that video, all right, you all are going to know where I'm going with this very shortly. And also, I'm fucking, I'm quoting the video directly, all right, but such a good example to me of like the type

of thing that, like, when we talk about people getting offended by words or whatever and all that shit, like where context and intent is so important, right? This video's for 2012, it's the onion, it's making fun of conservatives being filled with rage and racist and all that. That's the whole point of the video.

and they're talking about this this orb of white hot rage who's going to run for president in 2016 right and this reporter is giving a breakdown of his press conference the orb of white hot rage is press conference right and he's like he says something about like you know Mexico

and something like this whatever and then the guy goes and then he just screamed faggots over and over again I think he actually said it like he said faggot faggot fagg faggit or something like that yeah yeah which absolutely killed me.

It's so true, too. Because, yeah, right, because it's like, that's what they, that, they do that now, but with trans people. They don't say that word, but like, that's what they do, you know. Yeah, one note. So, so it's perfect, but it's like, you know, if the onion was making that video today, would they, would that part be in there? I don't know if, I don't know if it would. And I think the video is worse for that because that's hilarious. and totally okay, I think.

They definitely do a good job of, you know, I think being respectful. I mean, I think that's what we, like, I was talking about this. I realize now it's not on this podcast. I was talking about it on a different podcast the other day of like, some people stop saying words out of fear. Some people stop saying slurs because they're like, I'm afraid, I'll get shamed. But a lot of people stop saying slurs out of respect.

It's like, oh, this hurts people's feelings. Then I won't do it because I want to be a decent human. The Onion always does a good job of being respectful but still being funny and honest. I kind of think if they did that now, they might do tranny. Because it is exactly the way to make fun of that person. But they may not because they may say, yeah, but it's disrespectful because if you're 13, you may not understand what we're doing. And I don't know. That's what everybody's got to ask themselves.

I think the F word was the perfect one for this. In 2012, it was the only one. I mean, I got a real meeting law school right out. Yeah. That was on Rebel flag. They took our culture. Oh, dude. It's hair and it's not hate.

Jesus. All right. All back around. Yeah, I tried that on Starz, didn't work. Drew, when is you having that baby except, I mean, you're not, but September? Yeah. Never was when I'm having it. Andy's having it.

September 13th. We go for the 30, whatever we check up July 31st, and hopefully her placenta has moved up. I don't know if you guys experienced that. Low placenta is pretty common. It usually rises. If it doesn't, a lot of Andy's plans are fucked. Like having it in a tub. And some of mine.

Having it at all, I think you've got to do. I think it was one of those things where it was like a five-minute conversation and the doctor was like giving you a lot of info. Yeah, yeah. And it was quick and there was a huge range. It was like, it was like, this happens to 85% of the people among the people that it happens to, 99% is raised. If it don't raise, you got to get a C-section, but it probably will raise it. And it's like, whoa. Yeah, right.

It was like going to WebMD and it was like, could be a headache or cancer. We'll see. Yeah. Yeah, that don't hit. It's wild that, like, I don't know. It's wild as many people survive before the advent of modern medicine that did. You know what I mean? Like, you used to think, like, you used to think that, like, can, man, they just died all the time, huh?

People really did die easy back then. But, like, in retrospect, they, I can't believe how many of them lived as dead because it's like so many things can go wrong. I know, no, I know. But I'm saying, like, even considering that, like, with the amount of different things that can go wrong that they can, like, mitigate now because of, like, modern science of medicine shit. So it's not that big of a deal anymore. And all the ones that made it through birth went to. war, you know, like it was Yeah.

It just stayed having opportunities to get killed back then. Or something in the factory, ripped their limbs off. Yeah, or that. Or you just get a mild cough. And they say, you know, you're dead. You know, we have a friend that is, you know, pretty against

modern medicine in general. Big surprise we hang out with people like that. And this particular person, y'all met her, like, it's just like really thinks that Western medicine is the dumbest, worst stupidest shit that's ever happened. And even that person is like, when they like talk about it, they'll be like, other than trauma, what has it done? And I'm like, okay, so other than 80% of the worst shit that like has ever happened in humanity, other than that?

Right. It's like, yeah, I guess you're right. You know what I mean? I guess you're right. Other than taking care of people dying. Yeah. So weird concession you asked me to make. Thompson ain't.

Thompson's not like that. But Thompson, of course, like, you know, Indians do hit for him, right? Of course. Yeah. And I mean, naturally. A hit for me too. Yeah, right. And he was, I remember like years ago, fucking Thompson's got four sons now.

But back when we were like just having the first ones, he was talking about his wife's first baby. And he's talking about sitting in there in the hospital room. And she's got all these wires in her. and, you know, like IVs, all that. She's hooked up to all these shit, beep and shit and wire stuff. And he's like, I'm just sitting there. And I'm like, man, did the Indians do it this way, you know? And I was like, no, no.

I was like, of course, about half their babies died. But, you know, no, they didn't. They didn't get that way. And so, you know, there's a little bit of a give and take there. Yeah, that's why there's eight billion people here. I definitely hate what's happening. in my life, if that's what you're asking. It's definitely a lot of anxiety for me.

It's like, yeah, this could just go perfectly. And I understand you're nervous. And, you know, it's your body, your choice. I thought that was when you didn't want to have a baby. Turns out that applies to when they do to. It's still their body, their choice. And I'm with all that. And I understand her, I genuinely understand her perspective,

which is like hospitals really only help if something's going wrong. otherwise they do wild shit like they scrape women they try to like time your birth and he's not into that you know like the doctor's like we need to have this fucking baby by Tuesday because my ass is going to the alps it's like all these things that like if you're not rich that like is going to happen to you if you just have a regular ass doctor which is where we're at so i get all that but there's definitely like the other side of me of like what you're talking about tray because i remember when you first told that about thompson i used to have a bit where one of the lines was like something like yeah back then of you wanted to have a family of two, you had to have seven kids because five are going to fucking die, three in childbirth and two between the ages of four and eight of dysentery. And it's anguish is too strong of a word. There's a lot of anxiety I have right now. And let me tell you guys what my biggest fear is. And I don't know if this is funny to anybody but men, but I know y'all are going to find that.

My biggest fear is that Andy will die and the baby will live. And I'll be like, and I'm not saying. if Andy dies, I want the baby to die. That is not what I'm saying. I'm just saying it's like, if that happens, I am, I went from a bachelor, burning man,

disgusting male pig with a really cool, beautiful hot wife to a single heartbroken dad whose, whose job is like one of the least stable professions in the world. Dude, I think a minor 10 and 11 and I think about, I know, I mean,

like minor 10 and 11 and I think about, like if something happened to Katie all the time because it's like I would it would super not hit and really change everything for me like it's funny we're both talking about it in terms of like if our wives died makes it be hard for us dude well it was there's it wait what what's the other side of that it's harder for the kid I'll give you that it'd be harder for your boys it would be hard for you and wouldn't you rather die than Katie die I'd fucking I would absolutely rather die than Andy died I'll die now.

I hope we do. I hope we all die. I agree. All right. Let's close on that. Where are you going to be this week, Tray? Oh, yeah. I'm in Milwaukee tonight and I'm in Appleton tomorrow.

And then next weekend, I'm in Kentucky back close to my old stomping grounds, Bowling Green, Lexington, and Louisville, and then a bunch of places after that. So go to tracruder.com. Drusifer. I got San Diego coming up this month in July. I think it's the week after this comes out, the weekend after. I'm going to be in New York. No, I'm going to be in New York next weekend.

Then I'm going to be in San Diego. I got Asheville. I got Austin. It's on the website or it will be soon if it's not. I need to do that today. Drew Morgan Comedy.com. Check out Gravy Baby with me and your favorite gutter bumpkin, DJ Lewis, and Carmen Morales. I ain't doing shit.

So I'd love you to go over to my substack, part-time funnyman.com. Also listen to putting on airs. And also, thank you all for listening to The Well Red Show. We'd love to stick around longer, but we got to go. A tune in next week if you got nothing to do. Thank you, God bless you. Good night, Anske. Who, I tell you what, we sure would appreciate it if you'd go over and pre-order that damn book,

around here and over yonder. The link will be in the description. And also, you can go to traycratter.com or Corey Ryan Forrester.com. And remember to also go to drewmorgancom to get all the dates and all that other good stuff. But yeah, pre-order that book. Sure would make me happy. Love y'all. See you by.

Skiw!