wellRED podcast - #335 - Who Would You Save From A Fire: Your Dog Or A Human?

Episode Date: August 30, 2023

This week Drew talks about doing stand-up on the picket line during the WGA/SAG-Aftra strike, Trae hits us with a philosophical conundrum (sarcasm) he saw on the internet that got his red turned smooth up, and the boys react to Oliver Anthony coming out as angry that the GOP was politicizing his song! All that and much more! If you havent already, we sure would preciate you pre ordering Trae And Corey's New book Round Here and Over Yonder! You can do so at TraeCrowder.com where you can also find dates to see Trae on the road! Go to DrewMorganComedy.com to see Drew in a city near you! Corey does bonus stuff at PartTimeFunnyMan.com and he sure wishes you'd subscribe! We hope you are enjoying all the podcasts in the extended Skewwniverse: Puttin On Airs, Weekly Skeews, Gravy Baby.... and if youre not... well... you ourt be! Love yall! 

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Here we are making the new environs here at ATC. It's a well-red podcast. Drew, you've been out fighting a good fight this morning. Oh yeah. One day longer, one day stronger, baby. Shout out our good friend Hannah Simmons who made this. But, yeah, did my second comedy show at a strike. The first one was for minors in Alabama, ER, not children, but people who work in mines.

And then the second one today was for actors and writers. Very different crowd. Yeah. Same thing. Yeah. Hard working backbone of America, God damn it. Well, that's sort of what I opened with. I didn't want to go too hard at them, you know, because I didn't want to alienate the people in the screen actors guild and writers guild.

but I talked about how I'd done it, you know, for them. But I kind of reversed it. I was like, that's what I knew these companies are going too far with the labor movement, because, you know, picking on people who work in minds. We've been doing that forever. But now they're picking on hot people. Picking on actors? You can't do that.

And then I talked about how they should mean girl, Bob Iger, just call him fat, just get some hot actress to call him a loser for an hour until he buckles. It does feel like people, I feel like generally people are on our side, Well, more writers, more so writers than actors, they have to have it explained to them with actors. When people start thinking about my wife being in the guild, then they're like, oh, right, like commercials and extras and you did one guest spot for Gotham. Movie stars are like stop complaining. Yeah.

But it's like, I feel like it's a sentiment is shifted in, I hope so anyway, because like it's similar to athletes, I think. I feel like you used to hear people a lot more than you do now talk about like, man, these athletes, they play. football players, a guy's holding out, you know, because he wants a bigger contract. And it's like, he's already getting paid $20 million. He wants $25, just play or whatever. Without realizing that when you're doing that, you're effectively just siding with the owner who has billions of dollars. So it's like, it really is a binary thing. It's that guy against that guy.

And when you shit on this dude, you're taking this guy's side. And when this guy's side, the side you're taking as the billionaire owner, then, you ought not feel great about that. But I feel like people have, I think, mostly wrapped her heads around that. But they still don't care about, like, Starbucks people striking or shit like that, like on a grand scale. There's still a higher profile to this one. There's a higher profile because of who's talking. I mean, I think that people with clout, you know, and some of them have,

have to keep speaking up and explaining what you're saying. I've seen movie stars say things like, guys, this isn't about me. I want to make that very clear, but I'm insupportive. And I think that's helped. I think reasonable Americans are like, oh, right. Like Matt Damon's not trying to get $40 million more dollars. He's trying to say that these studios won't pay the people who work with him, and they have billions. You know what I mean?

And I think that is working. The Starbucks thing, dude, I think people just hate poor people. Yeah. Even poor people hate poor people. Yeah. I talked to my Patreon today sort of about that, about people. Because I wanted to actually, I wanted to bring up old Oliver Anthony again with you guys, because, you know, he came out of the shadows addressed everything recently.

Where he stays so he doesn't get cancer. It's a ginger joke. I'm allowed to make it. Yeah. But, yeah, me and Mark were also talking recently about how, like, there's just a lot of, like, like, you said, even poor people hate other poor people for various reasons. Like, a lot of, like, working class people who work jobs, you know, they resent people with food stamps or whatever because they think they're lazy or whatnot.

It's like, why ain't I getting that, too, or that type of thing? but there's just like... Well, what's that quote that a lot of poor people have the mindset that they're actually just a temporarily embarrassed millionaire or something?

Like, in their mind, like they're poor, but they're working towards something and these other poor people are just lazy, even if they're in the same boat. Finally enough, just today, today, uh,

Joe the plumber died. You guys remember Joe the plumber? No, shit. No, man. He died. Rest in peace. Pancratic cancer. Same thing took my daddy,

so I know that was rude. But, uh... Its plumbing was messed up. I'm sorry. Yeah. But that, like, I didn't really remember. I remember that guy. I remember being a Republican mascot in 2008.

I didn't really remember it because he died. I read up on him son. And like, even like back then, his whole thing, if you don't remember, was like, he asked he put Obama on the spot because he was like, you know, I want to buy a business which makes over $250,000 a year. You're going to screw me with your tax. tax plan because of that, right? And also Obama, like on the spot gave him a perfect answer that nobody remembers or whatever, but it basically just told him like, everything up to 250

stays exactly the same. If you make a little bit over, that'll go up a tiny amount, but 98% of small businesses are less and yada yada, it'll be better for anybody in the long run. The tax only hit 251 to whatever. But it's also, I'm just saying it's like kind of perfect because it's like this aspirational thing, you know what I mean, where it's like, yeah, you know, one day when I'm making 300 grand a year or whatever, this guy's going to fuck me over. You know what I mean? It's like, okay, but what about right now?

Right. You know what I mean? But yeah, people don't think about it that way. I think young people are like that who try to make it on TikTok and Instagram. Like when I talk to young comics or whatever or you just like follow enough people, I think they're like they all think one day they're going to have a million followers. And so they're like, they start to be like, yeah, man, what TikTok's is? doing not letting this famous guy say the

N word, it's ruining everything and it's like, no, it's not. I mean, I don't know, they might all eventually one day have a million followers, it seems like for some of them, it doesn't seem like it was that hard to get it if I'm being honest. That's what I'm saying. I mean, just a couple weeks ago, I brought up

this dude I was talking about, like on TikTok, whose whole thing is just he plays another clip that's already a thing, he plays that clip, and then he inserts himself saying like one line. And I I don't even want to say punchline because a lot of them aren't punchlines. Every now and they're a punchline, but they're never good.

And I was talking about this dude, like two or three weeks ago on this show, talking about it drives me crazy. And it turns out, like, you've been following and hating this guy from afar for a while, too. That's the same guy. I think I said I had one. This dude is like the pinnacle of what I think is wrong with the world of TikTok comedy, I guess, or internet kind of. And to be clear, he's a millennial or a Gen Xer.

We're not just crapping on kids that we don't understand. No, he's easily our age. And what was funny, if you recall, I said, I got a guy like that I hate too. And then he popped up on my timeline like he always does. And I was like, this is the guy I hate. And you were like, that's the guy I hate. That made me feel better. Because if there were two dudes out there who had four million followers

by showing a clip that already went viral and going, I can't believe that happened. If there were two dudes that was their skill. Right. What's his name? I've forgotten and I was going to say it. I just don't know how I don't know.

Like you said, yeah, I don't know. We don't have to rehash the whole thing. I already brought it up before. Well, I was trying to just say that I think the fame thing is related to the we're all going to be rich thing that Corey brought up. So we can circle back to that. Like classified, I think we were kind of getting into the Guild in America's

I guess response to the current labor movement that's going on. What did you guys think about old Redbeard coming to you live? from his truck, Oliver Anthony. I didn't watch it, but I didn't have to, because a million people messaged me about it. Yeah, I mean, it made complete sense to me. Yeah, it makes complete sense to me.

No, one of the songs so popular. Yeah, when I first saw this dude, when I first heard his song, like, I didn't ever think this guy is a hardline maga Republican. And the main reason that I didn't think that is because other than one line I disagreed with, the song was fucking good and he's talented you know what i mean so i was like there's no way he's that like every single bit of him screamed sort of like don't tread on me libertarianism which like is not exact that's what a lot of maga people think they are but it's not they're pro authoritarian even though they think they're the fucking opposite so like i wasn't surprised at all

uh to hear it and again aside from that one line in the song which like i do have a lot of problems with because, as we all know, it perpetrates a stereotype about welfare that is just not true at all and doesn't do anything to help the calls. But, like, other than that, I was like, I mean, I like his temperament. I could get down with this guy except for the little Debbie part. Yeah, that's how I felt about it, too. I mean, I thought the same thing. The whole time I was like, I don't think this guy is what they're making him out to be.

And that's based off one line, you know, because like I told y'all, I can't remember if I said this on here and not wherever I said it, but like, like, Katie used to be basically the same way, and Katie's not like hard right wing at all. She's also got over that, but like I'm just saying, so I always kind of thought the same thing,

but then, you know, him pointing out, like, they played his shit at the GLP debate or whatever, and he said he's like, that's just funny to me since that song is literally about those people, like it's literally about them. And then he says, he's stay doing that. Then he says, he's like,

but also the other thing. them too, you know what I mean? Like he said it's literally about them talking about the GOP debate and he's like, but also the, you know, the Democrat too. He's definitely, I don't want to say, I think he, you know, it's like we used to, everybody in my hometown, almost everybody in my hometown used to be a version of like, oh, fuck them all, they're all full of shit and don't give a shit about us anyway, type of thing. And it's like, I think he's still rolling with that, which is fine with me.

But when it, so I'm, I wasn't surprised, but I think I would have been if that had happened the day it first came out. Like, I got to acknowledge that. So the first day that song came out, or the first time I saw it, I guess I should say, and then later that day, or maybe the next day, someone sort of found out and revealed, proved that Blaze Media was essentially running PR for him on social media. And the way they were doing it is they were getting all their little bots to spread the song, which helped it go viral.

At that moment, if he had come out and done that, I would have been surprised. Because at that moment, what I thought was, and I think I said this the other day, It wasn't just that line. If you wanted to read the song as just going after Democrats, you could have because he talks about raising taxes specifically, which is, you know, I have to admit, at least not publicly, that's not what the GOP leads with. You know what I'm saying? So it did feel a little like coverty or whatever at that time. But what I said was I just feel like this is industry stuff and I hate that it's in Americana now. what I found out or somebody I guess convinced me of a couple days later

a friend of ours who's in the business who works for Sirius told me she had seen the song like a month ago and you know his record label which I think he owns or partly owns was like trying to get people basically hurt there he was like no like Blaze heard the song and then just decided to do that. Blaze is Ben Shapiro's media group for those that don't know you know what and let me correct yes but let me is it I thought he was a either way let me correct myself slightly it's blaze's former PR guy who's now in PR and marketing for himself in Nashville so it's just I you know it's it was just him kind of showing his work

as it were you know what I mean like let me get a hold of this song it's not Blaze I don't know I'm not saying I don't know I mean it doesn't even really matter it's just I want to know yeah but the daily wire yeah the daily wire has been Shapiro but either way my blaze is one of those Yeah. Right. So, like, either way, my point, I guess, is I will acknowledge that I would have been surprised a little to see this day one. Because I thought it was a lot more set up from the go. You know what I mean?

Like, from the jump. Like, we found this guy. We helped him write this song. I was really full on conspiracy mode, and I acknowledge that. But what you're saying now, what you believe and you have inside information as to what happened is, this guy's just a dude. He had this song. He's shopping it.

And then the right. Right. And the right-wing media landscape now... Found it. ...is trying to, like, do this type of work. Like, they're no longer just like... They're trying to do propaganda. I mean, dude, the left is, too.

And we've been approached and been a part of things, or the left is like, we're going to create comedy that appeals to... So it's like, they just found a guy, basically. Yeah, okay. And as far as you know, like, that's what actually happened. As far as I know, that's what actually happened, and he didn't, like, necessarily ask them to or whatever. Yeah.

Yeah, it's sort of... Glenn Beck. There you go. Yeah. And that's sort of the dream in some way. It's like, you know what I mean? Like if a big time, if I don't know who's like a left version of that, George Stephanopoulos?

Is that his name? George Soros, you mean? Sure. Yeah. If he like, George Soros, George Stephanopoulos is like a fucking, it was like a Bill Clinton speechwriter who's now a media personality. But George Soros is like the prototype for the shady world running Jew. The shadow, the rich shadow Jew who controls everything.

Right. The one that writes us checks to do this podcast. Well, that's what I was going to say is if we found out that... If only. If we found out that guy's... Come on, George. We're sitting right here, buddy. Well, that's what I was going to say is if we found out that guy's media company helped you go viral.

Yeah. Just like liked it. We wouldn't be like, oh, no, we're propagandist now. We'd be like, yeah, we hit. And then I thought it hit. Right. So that's like probably Oliver Anthony's perspective. It's like, yeah, I mean, the guy from Blaze thought I hit because I hit.

And the only other thing I want to say, I think the song's fine. I think it's a little wagging, really, but I thought that from the jump. I think it's like, removing the politics from it, just listen to it as a song, and the first song ever for a brand new artist for me, it's fair. It definitely makes me go like, oh, this dude has potential. That's fair. Me too. I agree.

I like that. But it's not like, I don't think it's something might be like listening to on repeat or whatever. Right. You know what I mean? Well, it's wild to me that he's got more followers than Tyler and Sturzel now. You know what I mean? Like that's like, to me. To your point,

when you consider what happened. Like, it, like most of those types, which he came out and said, I'm not those types. I'm against these people or whatever. And hell yeah,

by the way. Good for him. Because he could have made a pile of money not doing that. Sorry, go ahead. Yes. But like your most people, like you're John Rich,

your Travis Tritz, your Lee Greenwins or whatever, the type of music they make for that. Like at first, when maybe we thought that's what this dude was, we all had to go, shit, at least this one's good, you know. Well, that's part of why I was upset about, though, because I was like, man,

please don't find my little corner of country music, because once the powers that be, see how much money can be made and power can be pulled, but that already happened. I mean, Zach Bryan's one of the biggest acts in country music right now, you know, so it's already happened. He also said before the most recent video where he's like, I was writing the song about those people, whatever, he also said something about how diversity hits real hard for him. Yeah, he didn't. And they got real pissed about that, which like, that's always funny to me.

Like, because it's like, like, literally he said, he's like, America is the great melting pot. What makes us great is our diversity. That's like pretty much the direct quote that he gave. It couldn't be more milk toast. Exactly. Just like, and you're like, you'd like to think who could get mad at that? Everybody. Everybody on the ride anyway.

Because, like, they got so, they're, immediately, they're like so disappointing. I feel so betrayed. He went woke. Yeah, he went. I can't believe he's doing this. And it's just so funny to me because it's like, they might as well just literally be saying like don't he know that we think everybody's just supposed to be white like it don't hit for us when anybody isn't white especially somebody has white

he's translucent right yeah it's like you know this is a white country for white people yeah and that's our official stuff you make white music yeah right exactly it's like you can't be like advocating for non-whiteness which is a wild thing to say in public yeah right but they're supposed to do it. They say other things out loud but mean that. Right. Now they're saying it out loud. Exactly. Well, that's the anti-woke thing. What they would say if you put them on the spot is I'm not saying that I hate black people. I'm saying that pretending that diversity is more important than talent or whatever line they have. I just am tired of it being shoved down our throats. Why everybody was going to be shoving it down our throats? How good it is for black people to exist. It's such a visceral. I love that thought. No, we love diversity. It's just, like what are the odds that a black person would be super talented in the entertainment industry? When is that ever happened?

Yeah. I love the shove down my throat thing. I think I did a reference to it in the thing I did about Tennessee's drag band where it's like it's such a visceral sexual thing. Don't you shut, don't you dare shove diversity in my throat. I literally. Don't put it in my throat. The script I'm currently writing, which no one will ever see or hear about ever again.

But the script are currently right. I literally just wrote a scene in it that's playing off of that. Shove it down. Yeah, having the queer agenda shove down your throat, you know, and how gay that is. But anyway, there was something else I was wanting to talk to you guys about, and it's about to get pretty raving in here, I think. So that's not to be fun because it involves dog people. Here we go.

Yeah, here we go. Yeah, you know me. I'm fired up already. Trey murdered a dog, and now he's going to try to blame it on the fact that white women are annoying. So I'm doing a bit right now about dog people, and it's hitting, but I'm going to flesh it out further. This has nothing to do with that. I'm just saying if you might see me recently, you know, I've been, and you guys know, I've been bitching about dog people for a long time, but I just found this Reddit thread over the weekend.

And I've seen this type of thing before, and I was like, I got to talk about this on the podcast. And it's like, I don't remember the subject of the thread or whatever, but it was this big debate in the comments. There's all these people saying some, and then other people pushing back, but a whole bunch of people saying some version of them getting all kinds of upvotes. Basically, in a hypothetical scenario, if it's my dog, the person is saying, if it's save, if there's a building on fire and it's my dog or your child, I'm saving my dog every time, right? I don't know your child. My dog is one of the closest part, you know, one of the most important parts of my whole life. Why would I not do that? And I just would like to say, if you're one of those people, you're a fucking lunatic.

You're a psychopath and you ought not be part of society. That is insane to me. I cannot imagine also, it don't even have to be a kid. It's like a grown man who's a stranger. It could be like your dad or something. Is he white? Imagine it's you. Think about it from the perspective of the dude to burn a building.

You're sitting there and you see some guy running towards the building. You're like, oh, my hell, pal right? He like takes a turd, grabs a fucking chihuahua and then leaves, like runs off the end of the horizon, like holding the chihuahua like this while you just burn to death. I just think that's fucking crazy. People who feel that way are nuts, in my opinion. And a lot of people do. It's wild to me.

So many people value not just dogs, but animals in general, over like humans, which I think is crazy. I think in that scenario, they value themselves is what it is. Yes. It's like, I don't want to let go of my dog, and I don't know you or your kid. And that's not defending it. That doesn't make it okay. But I think in that scenario, what they're choosing is their own peace and happiness over giving a shit about your gut-wrenching pain. I bet those people don't have kids.

Again, that's not a defense of it. It's just that, like, in their eyes, what they're saying is I choose you to hurt instead of me, which is shitty. But I think it's less nuts. Ah, it's pretty nuts. It's pretty nuts. It's super nuts. You know what I mean? Corey.

It's super nuts. And I'm a huge dog person. You know this. Now, I've only ever had, like, tiny dogs. So in this scenario, I would realistically be able to save both. I could put one under my arm and put one over my shoulder. If you want to live, carry this dog. Sure.

Yeah, right, exactly. Hold my dog while I hold you. But I, but. Now, if their arms don't work and they can't carry the dog, Corey's leaving them. Yeah. They ain't got nothing to live for anyway. He could also, he could just throw his dog out of the building.

Yeah. But let's say that I couldn't. Yeah. Let's say that I couldn't. Now, in the scenario where it is a child, 100%, 100% no question getting the child over the dog, 100%. If it's an adult. Yeah, we got to know about it. Huh?

Yeah, like what building? Like, do they work for a bank? Right. Okay. Okay, look. Is it a cop? Trey, this is maybe more for Drew than it is for you, but like, it's your dog versus an adult. Yeah.

They're wearing an Ed Hardy teacher. All right. Okay. Yeah. Done. It's the dog. I'm going to shoot the guy. I'm going to go in the building and shoot him in the leg.

In the leg. Oh, my heart, make a worse. Yeah, all right. In case he might get out on his own. Like if he follows me, I'll turn around and shoot him in a leg. Yeah. Right. Yeah.

And even for me. Kid, no question. Yeah. You save the fucking kid. But adult, I'm at least going to for a split second go, there's a good chance you're a piece of shit. All right. Teenager, you go in. You start to grab the kid.

You grunt a little bit because it's hot and you're sweat. and the kid says, Corey, the 13-year-old snot-nose brat says, you could do this if you weren't so fat. Dropping him. Dropping him. Grit the dog. All right, what about it's a pit bull from bad news kennels, right? Or that TikTok dude we were talking about earlier.

Okay, I make the pit bull mad, and then I throw him on that guy, and then I light another fire in that side of the building. Now, pit bull, because, like, if you save that pit bull, he'll be loyal to you, and then you got a little badass fucking prison guard. You know what I mean? I like that. Also, let me just say, this has been a fun bit, but like, I don't think I believe those people. If they ran into a building and it was like for somehow the choice was literally,

literally, I agree with that. Agree with that. But if, like, this was literally their choice and they looked at an eight-year-old, I think most of them would grab the eight-year-old. Right. I just think people are just so outrageous about dogs. I brought this up years ago when it first happened, but I've got a new example now,

but like Lady Gaga's dogs got kidnapped, right? And it was like top trending topic on Twitter, front page news type of shit, Lady Gaga's dogs get kidnapped. Almost none of which mentioned that the dog walker she employed also got shot in the process and very nearly died, right? It was like on critical condition, ICU. And the whole internet is like, oh, Gaga's babies, you know.

Shot four times. Four times. Thank you, Aaron. Yeah, right. And no one. Thank you, Aaron. Everyone hates poor people. Right. Yeah, but like, but the new one, and this is very, very different. Let me get there, because this is speculative. So this also is related to something else we've talked about a lot when it comes like second chances.

What is prison for? That type of thing. Full disclosure, y'all know, I'm a Raiders fan. This has nothing to do with it. I promise. Henry Ruggs. Henry Ruggs. You just had to bring it up because you're talking about prison.

Well, because Henry Ruff, because he's very prominent former raider who's currently in prison. He's the most recent raider to go to prison. Henry Rugg's got sentenced recently. He got sentenced to three to ten years in prison, right? So he'll probably end up doing, if it's time served, whatever, I'd say he'll be out in like a year and a half, wouldn't you? If they do time served, good behavior. Didn't they give him manslaughter? I don't know.

Most of those, when there's a life at stake, you've got to do at least 90%, 85 to 90% to 90% of depending on the state. Okay. Of three, though. Right. Okay. Two and a half. Right. So anyway, for anybody doesn't know or don't remember what he did was, he got super hammered and drove a car 160 miles an hour into another car, which was being driven by a lady, and he hit her and she burned to death screaming in the car. Absolutely horrific, not defending it at all. What I'm saying is I am a hundred percent convinced that people on the internet are way more hardcore about Henry Ruggs and this whole case. because that lady had a fucking dog in the car with her. I can't prove that. But I just like, dude.

She did have a dog. I agree with you. She did. You get, but you get on Twitter threads, Reddit threads, whatever, about Henry Rugg's situation, about 3.10 years. People are on there like, this motherfucker should never see the light of day. I wouldn't care if they gave him the death penalty.

Three to 10 years, that's a joke. It should be at least 25, 30, like going hard on him. And I'm saying, I'm 100% convinced that would not be happening if there had not been a dog in that car, and that is fucking ridiculous. I think that there'd be a few less, but I think there'd be a few less, but I think you're wrong about it happening. I think it would definitely happen. I think that America's lust for vengeance and what they think of as justice, especially

with a black rich kid. Yeah. Like a rich black man in America. I mean, I know what you're saying, and you're right, like it's added to it, but I also know people would have been up in arms over. Well, you're a former defense attorney. I mean, you tell me what you think, like, I, I, Like, that's a shocking sense.

A lot of them say, a lot of them say they're like, you know, because also important piece of information, the girl's family, they've like gone on the record saying, you know, they forgive him. They're probably Christian, whatever. They forgive him. They're on board with the sentence he's getting all this shit, you know, whatever. People are always like, if that was your sister. He pretended to poo poo religion while he poopoo a grieving family's choice. If they, I'm saying, these stupid.

motherfuckers. I'm saying I don't know how they do it. Because people, here's what I'm trying to get to. People always say like, in these debates that come up around it, they're like, if that was your sister, your wife, or whatever, you'd feel differently. And my whole thing is like, yeah, I would, but that's why

it shouldn't be my decision. Yeah, it's not how we base society. Do you what I mean? Like that, like, you're 100%. You're right, but that's not, it would all be fucking death wish out here if that's how it works. You were right in the heart of what's wrong with American media's relationship with the justice system

where everyone wants to make it an emotional thing and imagine it was you. No, don't do that. Don't imagine it was you. Because that's not how you decide these things. You know what I mean? It can't be. We can't live that way. We can't live as if we all had our sister die. Right. And so

like what do you think? Like, I'm saying, again, it's absolutely horrible what he did, but what he did was, he was 22, got hammered, drove a supercar, real fast and it ended horribly. I'm just not going to lie. I never had supercar money, whatever.

You would have done it though. I'm not on fucking, I don't even want to say, I'm saying, you know. Maybe. It could have, I know a lot of people, myself included, who hypothetically that could have happened to. Well, and it's not as, it's not evil like premeditated. Exactly. It's not, yes, right.

I don't think it makes him even like, it makes him irresponsible and dumb like 22 year olds often are, but it don't make him. And he needs to be made an example of for. sure. Right. That's in the, yeah, so you're getting in the, but you can't just, like, throw him out forever. I mean, you guys are really getting in the heart of, like, the existential question of criminal justice. So there's, like, there's punishment, there's deterrence, you know, keep other people from doing this. There's retribution. And then somewhere along the lines is the idea of rehabilitation. Of justice. And then actually, I was going to put rehabilitation last on purpose because that's where it always comes from in America.

It comes in last place. These are all the questions that people are supposed to be grappling with. But we have such a bloodlust. I mean, everyone runs on a tough-on-crime thing. I mean, dude, I asked you to share a thing I wrote years ago on your page, because you had a bigger platform about the prisoners in Texas. They were in a jail. Not a prison. A jail.

Who were being cooked. Yeah. Because there was no air in there, and global warming was happening. And it was like 120 degrees in the jail. And I keep saying jail that way so people can understand, at least half the people in jail, if not more, have not been convicted. They are awaiting trial and cannot make their bail. Right.

And the well-read liberal redneck fans who came in there, these were people who had not been convicted of a crime, the ones who had been convicted, we don't know what they did, but we do know it was a misdemeanor because if you're doing more than a year, you go to prison. That's in every state. So their sentence was less than a year for a misdemeanor if they were convicted. everyone's if you can't do the time don't do the crime i don't give a shit jail's supposed to be hard

they were advocating for baking human beings alive because they had been accused of a crime for being accused of a crime or guilty of a misdemeanor so no i do think people would have been like that in this case but i absolutely acknowledge that the dog situation makes it 10 times as worse and 10 times more people. Like there's definitely some people who were like liberally minded and forgiving who heard about the dog and it was fuck him forever, you know. Yeah. Well, it's like, well, also in that jail situation, people throw that whole, what would you do if it was your brother, sister, whatever mentality completely out the window? You know what I'm saying? Because like it could have like any one of those people who was saying if you can't do the crime, don't do the, or if you can't

do the time, don't do the crime, if it was their brother baking in a prison, they would be screaming on your side, 100%. Yeah, I agree with that completely. And I'll take it a step further. Even if it's like the worst person in the world, like, why do we want to do that? Like, that's where it's like, we aren't evil criminals, are we? So why do we want to act that way? It's like if somebody does something horrific, we have to remove them from society.

But this like quest for retribution is dark. Like, that's a dark fucking, that's a side of our humanity that exists. I can't disagree that it exists and there is some weird desire for it, but it's not good to feed it. You're not going to feel better. No one feels better when they hurt somebody, unless there's something wrong with them. And, you know, there are a lot of things wrong with most politicians. Okay, I had a bully when I was in middle school, and one day I finally worked up the courage to knock his lights out. And I did, and it knocked him out cold, gave him a concussion.

He had to go to the hospital. and it 100% made me feel better. So, you know, some situations. I believe that, but I don't think you felt good because you hurt him. I think you felt good because you stood up for yourself and won, but I could be wrong. Yes, that's true. That's true. I don't think that good.

If I had found, and he was a former friend of mine, if I'd have found out that he was like, had been put on life support, you're right. I would not feel good about that. I felt good that he wasn't going to pick on me anymore, which he didn't. But yeah, you're right. And also, maybe I misspoke. I'm not denying that revenge can feel good. you know, like I'm not denying that there's like, I mean, most sin feels good.

But it eventually it hurts you. I mean, that's, to me, that's what a sin is. It has nothing to do with, like, God or the Bible. It's like, does this hurt you or somebody else? You know what I'm saying? So, like, I'm just saying, like, I guess I'll acknowledge that vengeance and revenge will absolutely feel good for a bit, but it's going to darken you, right? Yeah, I mean, that's like every story.

I mean, that's like every myth. Yeah. It's like, you know, it's like Batman's whole thing. Right. You know what I mean? I can't. Can't let that happen to me. You know what I mean? My voters don't want to fight.

No. They don't want to fight no more. I don't want to fight. That's a name. Sorry. It is super hitting maim. But yeah, I guess I should say it's not just, it's not just dogs. Like, it's just some people, like about animals in general, like there were people

in that thread saying things like, in response to people like me, there are people saying things like, I just, humans have this weird thing where it's, you're talking. like we convince ourselves that we're actually special, that we are actually more valuable, that we're just animals too. Like our lives are no more inherently valuable. It's a crazy thing for us to think that or whatever. And it's like, I sort of get where that person is coming from. But like, dogs ain't going to the moon unless we send them there. Like, if this kid and let them die in space. You could get a new dog. Right. There's a new dog store. Right. There ain't no new eight-year-old store. Right. And as far as what this dude's saying that, like, this eight-year-old's

probably not going to grow up to cure cancer, but they could. the dog for sure ain't. Yeah. Right. Like, so. Best case scenario could go viral. Well, who gives a shit? I mean, even if the eight-year-old's just going to grow up to fucking, I don't know,

work at a fucking dunk and don't-hast. Yeah, sure. But I'm just saying, it's also so selfish. They are saying I don't value humans more than other dogs. But it's like, but the rest of us do. And you've got to live in our society. My kid means more to me than your dog means to you. I will guarantee you that.

That's the part that's selfish to me. No matter if you say this dog means more to me than another human, okay, that's your choice. But I know in my heart because I've loved a dog, I got a kid on the way, the kid means more to the parent than the dog means to any, there's no person in the world who loves a dog more than a normal parent loves their kid. Right. Well, that's why I brought up, it depends on who the person is because I, dude, I'm a dog guy. I loved my dog more than anything. I didn't love him more than all of humanity. I did love him more than some specific people.

That is for 100% sure. There was definitely people who, if they were burning alive, I would save my dog. But a random person, I can't know what they did, so I have to save him. You go in and you start to save the guy, and he's like, when we get out of here, I'll drive you wherever you want to go. I got a BMW. You just throw him down.

You just, no, here's what you do. You run out to and you're like, I'm going to save your life, but you have to answer this question first. what lives matter. Yeah. And then, you know. But it's like, there was also in our thread once,

months, maybe even years ago now, there was, do you ever remember that clip of that? I feel like it was an old boy, like an old boy in his 40s or something, in like Alabama subdivision. His wife got attacked by a bobcat in the driveway.

Right? And it's hilarious. And he runs out there and he's like, son of a goddamn boot, fuck, rightfully so he's holding a bobcat and he finally like manages to like throw it like hurl it away and there were people like in the comments like why would he treat that kitty that way you know or whatever it's like it's like but i just and then or like harambe you remember harambe yeah how can i forget

rest in peace sticks out sure i'd shoot 50 harambas for what he had a kid just for it right just for no we don't fuck that was the whole thing. Yeah, just... Let him up! I'd kill his ass. Yeah, like Teddy Roosevelt style. Yeah. Yeah, just big game hunter, shit.

No, that was the whole thing with Rombay. He didn't steal the kid. The kid fell in. But that's what I'm saying. And there's also, like, sometimes guerrillas like kids hit for them, right? But you don't know. Well, you just... You don't know.

But you could tranquilize it, can't you? Well, sure. If I had a trank... If I had a trank, I wouldn't put it down to pick up an AR-15 and just waste his ass. I wouldn't do that. But, like... You could also hit the kid, wasn't he? Like, wasn't he hanging out by the kid and not hurting it?

Yeah, I think so. But I'm saying. Look, did you want to shoot a gorilla? That's fine. No, it's okay, man. You don't know what a gorilla is going to do. They're like, if it's a girl gorilla, I just saw a video where a gorilla, this lady was holding her baby up, like, a glass is in between them at the zoo.

She's holding her baby up, and the gorilla's like, oh, shit, hang on. And she runs. It's a girl, I think, a mom gorilla. She's like, oh, wait, hold up, and she runs and gets her baby and brings it back. and is like holding it up by its leg like check it out i got one too it's pretty awesome that is awesome like and then you shot them both yeah yeah yeah i shot the baby out of a hand i just think people's priorities are wild where uh animals are concerned do y'all think gorilla tastes good it probably don't no no no there's no way yeah and also that's how you create like super

covid or super age or something yeah and they are almost that's that's like it's not cannibalism but it's like cannibalism light, I feel, to eat a monkey because they're like so close to us. New from Nabisco, Cannibalism Light. Yeah. Did you guys, I never... Cream of monkey, so... Bro.

Did you ever... Did either one of y'all... I actually didn't, but, you know, we owned... My family on the video store when I was a kid, these were very popular. Did you ever see the faces of death movies? Uh-uh. You don't even know what I'm talking about?

I think I saw clips of it, like on... Dude, they were like... These things were huge, man. Like, I mean, I might have been a cult status thing. I may know what you're talking about. I think I saw like someone remembering it on the internet later. So we had all of them. I think there was like five or six of them, faces of death, one, two, three, whatever.

We had them all at the video store. I want to remind everyone, Trey's dad is who ordered what they had at the video store. My dad loves. He saw one and two. He was like, let's go four through six, son. My dad loved that shit. Horror movie shit, all that gruesome stuff. He fucking loved.

Our horror section was probably the video section. Maybe I don't know what it is. I thought it was real. It is ostensibly. So that's the thing. But that was the whole thing. it's all supposed to be real. It's just like documentary footage of like

horrific deaths and violence and shit. Okay. I like that. Yeah. Don't have it. The internet, it's like it was a weird. There's a precursor to like, I'm kidding.

There's a precursor to like fucking, remember writing.com? Yeah. Yeah. Where that dude broke that bottom of his asshole and got fucked by horse? Always hated those. I've told that story on there and I don't want to talk about it ever again.

Always hated those sites. But you know, there was a people, there was a big fascination with them, right? Faces of Death was like that, but in the 80s or whatever. Anyway, I think it came out later that some of the things in there, some of it was very real archival footage, but some of it also they had faked.

And I think maybe this one was faked. I hope it was, but one of the scenes was like... Let's just say it was fake, because I don't know what you're about to say. One of the scenes was these people getting a monkey, right? And they, like, put it in like a vice grip in the middle of the table, its head. And then they, like, split its head open and eat its brains while it's screaming and stuff. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. So it was shit like that.

I don't know how you fake that in 89. Yeah, I don't know. You couldn't even fake an orgasm in 89. I don't know, bro. Prostatics was pretty good. Like Rick Biker and Sam Winston then was doing their things. Yeah, the top two dudes. Yeah, but were these high budget things? Yes, I'm saying. This is clearly Bill. No, they definitely weren't high budget things, but they made a lot of money. They were like, definitely like, you know, like underground hits or whatever. You know it was arguably the second most popular thing we had at the video store, other than porn, obviously.

You're saying that Faces of Death was the most. popular it had to have been wrestling probably and then right around the same area as wrestling yes either wrestling or brony my little pony the very first ever ufcs oh yes yeah we had those on we had those on vhs they were fucking huge they didn't fucking so just like eating monkeys fighting yeah redneck shit dude that it is funny that was like those were the three biggest categories well without the internet people didn't have an outlet for yeah the darkness inside them do you know to mean? Yeah, man. I mean, dude, that's why America's funniest home videos was so popular. Not about the darkness, but like, we've always

wanted to just sit around and watch people get kicked in the nuts, but there was a time when you could only do it once a week at 7 o'clock on Thursday, you know? Yeah, we really take for granted all the nut shots at our fingertips now. Yeah, it is unreal. Yeah. I keep thinking about that fucking rhino shitting at them. Farting. Yeah, farting and shitting at that family while it's tail spun. That's the example that I always use for that thing that comedians, people like us, often bring up. In fact, Mark just brought it up on skews and I use that example of like any committee, anybody tries to be funny or whatever and puts it on the internet at some point we'll see some clip. Yeah.

Of like a fat fuck cat failing a jump or a panda like, you know, dropping its baby in exchange for an apple or whatever or a hippo farting and poop. flying everywhere and realize like you can never beat that no matter what I do I can never hit harder than that in terms of being funny how's that makes kind of comforting I guess yeah I guess in a way I don't know I'm kind of fine with it now but for me it was it was the hippo because there's tail it's a hippo it's tail helicopters yeah as it flings shit everywhere rules and there's this like dirt back revving fart that accompanies it did y'all know who's added that fart is fake I know that's heart breaking isn't it That's a real shame. I choose not to believe.

But you could also say, well, all right, then it wasn't that funny until somebody with a comedic mind added something to it. Yeah. Also. Thank God for those people, by the way. The people, the unsung heroes. Or the far guys. I put my face on my shit, trying to get people to buy tickets to come see me.

Some of these people are fucking comedic geniuses. Yep. Lurking in the shadows, bro. Taking no credit. Just making memes. Well, I want to say this. I want to... Adding farts to nature videos.

Just doing the Lord's work, man. I want to get this off because I mean this and it's ridiculous, so it's very me. But I genuinely feel about those videos. To me, like, if I got upset by that, and I did in the past, like the same thing you're talking about, it's like, man, what am I even doing? I can't be as funny as a fucking cat. But that would be like Van Gogh being jealous of the stars he's painting. Yep. Yeah, like, my job is to recreate a version of this out of nothing.

That is a spectacular skill that I have. Van Gogh being jealous of the sunset would be so ridiculous. That hippo shitting is the sunset. I can't ever paint that. But that's okay. That's so beautiful and so perfect. It's a great analogy. I've never thought about it like that.

But God damn, son, you've really done something to help me. I agree. It's touching. I don't know where to go from there. Because that hippo farting is absolutely as beautiful as any landscape I've ever seen in my life. That is God's comedy. Cried laughing the first time I saw it. Buddy doubled over.

Yeah. I'm trying to think the last time I cried laughing, like, at anything. I almost cried and got a literal cramp right here because I don't use my abs. I didn't even know I had them the other night at the Comedy Store. Doing my show once a month, we do Culture Court at the Comedy Store, which is like a courtroom theme show. This young kid, Willie Simon, shout out Willie. He's so funny. He did this argument about homeless people.

We're very edgy or whatever, in quotes. So bear with me for a second. But the bit was, he was like, we've got to do something about the homeless guys. We've got to help him seem less scary to white women. Here are the ways we're going to do that. But he was doing it as this disheveled public defender in over his head. And his whole bit was he lives in his car. But he's not homeless because his car moves.

And he was falling apart the whole time. And he was so good at it that I was crying. And it felt unbelievable. In that moment, after the show, I would have given that kid anything he asked for. because he made and it's like it kind of reminded me of like oh yeah like what we do is pretty cool yeah um that's right i think the last time i definitely at least shed a couple tears because i was laughing so hard and i think a lot of people will know the meme that i'm talking about but tray sent it to us and it was that scene it's that scene from tarzan when the the head gorilla shows up to find

that they've got the little baby yeah and and they have done this voiceover where it's a black dude coming home to find out that his wife has given birth to a white baby. And it's the most, it's the most perfect voiceover work I've ever seen in my life. It's a, because everything matches so perfect. It's a black lady who does the VO, right? Yes.

Yeah. She absolutely crushes that. She does that with multiple Disney clips, but that's her most popular one. That shit's fucking incredible. She's very talented, unlike, this guy's going to sue us if I say it's normally. Yeah.

And when? This is not, I don't think this is the last time, but it's also like sometimes something dumb just gets, like the last one I could remember, I was laying in bed. Katie's there. I'm texting you guys. I had, uh, I had gotten up to make one of the boys lunch, like a lunchbox for school, and they had these little mozzarella balls, like fresh mozzarella that's like this big, right? Okay. Yeah, they hit. These little mozzarella balls had a little. like protrusion on

one on the top of them like a little point poking out just something no point poking out like this like right just the way they were made I took a picture of two of those little cheese balls beside each other with the protrusions on them and I text I texted you all the picture and I said this cheese

titties right because the cheese looked like titties right and then I went and got back in the bed sent the boys off school went got back in the bed pulled the phone out when it like vibrated whatever looked it up I had texted this cheese titties, and Mark said how I was introduced in middle school, right?

And I just started cracking up real hard. You couldn't stop. And then, yeah, and then Katie, meanwhile, I got back into bed, the boys were going to school, Katie, like, snuggles up to me. Yeah. When I pull the phone, like I hear the phone, she's like snuggling up to me as I get the phone out. And then, you know, she's like on me as I start laughing. And I can't stop. And it's one of those things that happens with every, you know, it is with your, your girl.

Corey, we've talked about it a million times where it's like, she's like, what are you laughing at? Right. And you're like, I can't fucking. Do you have four days? Yeah, right. Like, I know you're going to think it's stupid. Right. I know it's not going to have you.

Please don't. But then she's like, no, just tell me, whatever. And I'm all, I'm crying laughing at because I know how stupid it is. And I'm going to tell her. And it's like, and then I finally did, I told her, I was like, okay, so those, the cheese, right? I took a picture of the cheese and I said, you know, so I explained the whole thing like you do. And she just like, she just like looks every friend and she's like, okay, I'm going to go for a walk. And she just like gets up and leaves or whatever.

She couldn't even look at you. And that cracked me up even further. That made it even funnier to me because it was just, I don't know, so stupid. I was trying to remember the video. I went back and I jogged my memory. I may have sent it to you guys and maybe I didn't. I don't remember where I was when I saw it, but there's one that's out now. These two dudes are rapping.

I got one. Keep going. They're rapping kind of poorly, like these white guys. They're like freestyleing and their buddy's filming it. And it's like they're going to go around and hit each dude. And then a dude falls off the roof. I think he was supposed to like jump down at a certain point, but he fell early. So while they're rapping, there's a noise. And you hear his breath comes out.

And he saw his back where he fell off the roof. Then he gets up and tries the rap like nothing. happen like that I'm not embarrassed I didn't do anything wrong and there's something so hilarious to me about the futility of what he's trying to do it just gets me every single time he's so I'm cool and he's not because he just fell off a roof that's like that comic kid do you know him yeah yeah he's like he was at the laugh factory and he starts a joke and he's like this is why I think pegging isn't really all that gay and then he eat shit like falls off the stage face plants into the onto a table or whatever and to complete silence, by the way.

It was just the most perfect distillation of the form that I think I've maybe ever seen. This rivals it, and I don't want to show you because I don't think, it's like you got to be able to hear and see it, I'll show you after. This rivals it because when the kid gets up, he's still

out of breath. The other one I thought it was like there was this concert footage from, I think it was a 21 pilot show, which they get wild, you know, and it's like, so it's this crowd. They're like, really getting the crowd going, the crowd's losing their minds, and then they hit these like pyrotechnics.

It's like a smoke machine, right, that hits the crowd all at once, like real hard. It's like a mist, like, puss, right? And somebody captioned it. Kanye on his apology tour in Israel, right? So it looks like... It looks like... It looks like...

It's gas in the whole crowd. Yeah, right? Like right when the beat drops, all this gas hits the crowd. And it fucking killed me. Okay, well, I didn't know we were going to get into what makes us laugh. that's fucked up. I share all of this with you guys,

but anything dwarf related or Down syndrome TikTok related, then there was one recently where this girl was just dancing, just like a person with Down syndrome dancing, but she had a thick body. She looked kind of hot. And the comments killed me. We're murdering me. When I said, Syndrome Down, Bricked Up.

Yeah, that one was good. R-I-L-F. Yeah, I'm, hey girl, I'm downs, you know. Yeah. Yeah, the internet, dude, the internet kind of heartens me sometimes in terms of like, but it goes both ways. Like, I see all that shit and I'm like, man, people overstate everybody being pussies and shit nowadays.

You know what I mean? I'm like, internet still goes hard, dude. But then other times, like, it's just straight up racist or whatever. Like, it's not jokes, it's just mean shit. Like, Corey found this clip of an old cartoon being super racist. And all the comments were just from white people. being like, this cartoon hits, we should have slavery again. I thought, you know, whatever, like shit like that.

John Rocker. And it's like, that's not, that don't hit for me. But when people like make I'm going to hell for this type jokes or whatever, which they do a lot on the internet, I love that type of shit. John Rocker popped up and it was like wild interview from whatever year that was. And you remember the rant. Yeah, that's what inspired Kenny Powers did. Go look it up if you don't know what I'm talking about.

But, I mean, it's like wildly racist. Yeah. And I was like looking at it. I was like, damn, I forgot about that. And then I was like, shit, I wonder what these comments are like. Buddy. I mean, it was insane. It was people like, I'm Puerto Rican and I live in the Bronx and everything he said is true.

Like, it was, you know what I mean? It wasn't just like rich white dudes talking about it or whatever. Everyone was like, everything he says about New York's true. I lived in New York for two years. And that's exactly what it was like. By the way, I lived there for six years. That's not at all what it's like. But my point is, I realize.

if that had happened to Rocker two years ago. He'd be like running for Senate next year. Yeah, right. Have his own radio show. Huge podcast. Yeah, right, absolutely. Yeah, it's totally true, man. He's got to be pretty pissed off, actually.

That's how much people hate poor people. Yeah. Because he was just, ultimately he was shitting on poor people, but he couched it in a bunch of racism, and people are like, yeah, that's fine, as long as it's aimed at the pores. Again, though, unless it's apocryphal, unless it's like an urban legend thing,

we did get eastbound and down out of that. So, you know, kind of worth it. Well, and he got fired. And he got fired. Right. He did get canceled. Him and the Dixie Chicks. Yeah.

It was 100% worth it to get eastbound and down. Because like you said, it's not like he's relevant anymore. He didn't actually kill anybody, you know. It's fine. It's not fine what he said, but it's worth it. One of the funniest pilot episodes. Probably the... Probably is the funniest pilot episode in television history, I think.

No, dude, he looks like a mashed up bag of assholes. and I would say best pilot, best comedy pilot ever and arguably the best first season of a comedy ever period. Better than Cheers.

The Cheers Pilot's incredible. Yeah, Cheers Pilot is incredible, but the Cheers Pilot is incredible, but if we're going to go laugh out fucking loud crying, I don't think it competes. Like the Cheers pilot is

from a writer's standpoint, remarkable, but dude, bruh, like, I go rewatch Eastbound and Down Pilot all the.

the time. I mean, I agree with you. I was just trying to think of other candidates, but that also might be a generational thing. Like, I wonder if... Yeah, that shit. That was like 15 years ago, dude, which is crazy. Yeah, man. But then, like, Cheers was like 40. Oh, yeah, yeah. So I'm saying, like, if you were our age when he's Madden Down came out, when Cheers came out, you might strongly be like, dude, what, it's just some asshole cursing at people. I don't, you know, it's fine. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Um, always sunny's got a good pilot. Oh, yeah. But Danny DeVito, I don't think is...

No, he's not. He's not in it. He's not quite a second season. I actually saw a thing the other day where, like, they sent it to him. He was on, like, the board of, like, who they were pitching it to, maybe at FX or whatever. Like, Danny DeVito had a, he had a deciding say or whatever. And he was like, oh, man, I think this show was a go. And Dennis and then were like, yeah, and we were thinking that you would be these two's dad.

And he looks, and Danny DeVito goes, and I look, and it's just the two most Aryan people. I've ever seen in my life. And he goes, I mean, yeah, I could be their dad if their mother was a whore. And that's how they ended up forming his character. That's great. Well, you guys want to plug some stuff and... Oh, is it time? Wrap her up.

I mean, yeah, just about. I will be doing a homebirth in the next two weeks sometimes. And I want you guys to come tailgate it. I want you and Mark to come to the yard. And, Corey, you can fly out too and just tailgate the birth. You know, just cheer Andy on, get hammered, cook some meat. Yeah. But no, I don't have anything to plug until next month at the Comedy Store.

I'll be doing September 21st. I'll be doing Culture Court, like I mentioned. And yeah, that's it. I'm not going on tour for a while. Y'all are doing a home birth, for real? Yeah. I have very mixed feelings about it. I was about it.

I feel like that freak me out. Turns out her body, her choice, that continues throughout the pregnancy, not just in the abortion part. You got like a midwife or what's that other thing? There's a doula. Dole and a midwife. That's what, like, Matt, producer Matt, his sister. I thought it was only a doula if it was Mexican. Well, producer Matt's white as hell and his sister's a doula, I'm pretty sure.

I'm not even entirely sure that's a Spanish word. But, uh... Probably not. But yes, that is what we're doing. We've got... And I'm like, I'm super nervous. I'm stoked. I mean, I get it.

There's a lot of reasons any of wanted to do that. And they all... Like a kiddie pole or... Giant one, dude. We're going to turn into a hot tub. Bro. And it's thick. It's like a river raft.

You're going to make soap out of that placenta? Maybe. No. She wait. I think she's going to dry it and make pills. I think that's what they do now. Oh, God. Oh, yeah, man.

It all checks out. We're full hippied up, dude. You sure are. Yeah, I was trying to, like, run a bit about it. This is a corny joke, so I won't do it on stage, but I'll tell it to you guys. We're having a homebirth because my wife is afraid of doctors, and I'm afraid of my wife. Yeah. Yeah.

So it's not what I would have chosen, but I do get it. I mean, I think there's, like, genuine, good, logical reasons behind Andy's. desire to do this stuff. And then also we live in North Hollywood. It is eight minutes to the hospital where we have a doctor who we've met. You know what I mean? Like doing it the traditional way is eight minutes away. All I know is you better have some water boiling and a bunch of towels. Got a lot of towels. Seems like those two things are always required in this scenario. As soon as a midwife shows up, boil some water. Yeah. Is that to put my head in when I'm freaking out? Yeah, I don't know.

Like a slap to the face? But yeah, good luck with all that, buddy. Will you come tailgate? If you sincerely want us to do that. No, Andy would be furious, but I think it would be so fucking. Wouldn't that be the funniest thing? You guys are just out there, hammered drunk? You get a grill going and stuff.

Yeah, that would be fun, actually. Hey, when y'all are done, can we get in that thing? It's pretty fucking hot out here. Put some mice in that, some bitch. Go to Treycrouter.com for all my upcoming tour dates. The next ones are in Austin, Texas, at Volcan. just where next month and then a big Ohio run five nights, five cities, and then a bunch of other places after that. You can also pre-order our book there and you can watch weekly skews of

me and Smart Mark A.G. every Tuesday night at 5 p.m. Pacific Time on all my pages or get it wherever you get your podcast and I guess that will do for me, Corey. I'm so jealous you're in Austin the same time as Sam Talent. He is? Oh, that is fun. He's going to be the mothership. Matter of fact, well, Red fans, you can go see Trey on a Friday and Samtown on a Saturday or vice versa. You should do that, actually. I didn't know that. That's. awesome. I'm fucking super pumped now. I will be the October 19th through the 21st is

the Chattanooga Comedy Festival. By the time you hear this, they will be announcing it. I genuinely can't remember which day I'm performing on, but I'll put it in the link because I'll have figured it out by then. Just come see me do that. Just get a weekend pass. They should just get a weekend pass, right?

Yeah, they should just get a weekend pass. Of course. I'll be hanging around. And also, here's why I thought of that. I just remembered I'm going to be at the Laughing Skull Festival in Atlanta, October 5th through the 7th, and I think I'm performing every night, but just get a weekend pass. Just get a weekend pass. Yeah, for sure. Also, check me out over at part-time funnyman.com. That's my bonus stuff.

It's $5 a month. Listen to putting on airs with me and Trey. And, yeah, I believe that's it for me. And thank you all for listening to The Well Red Show. We love to stick around longer, but we've got to go. Tune in next week If you got nothing to do Thank you

God bless you good night and skew Hello friends and family I totally forgot to mention Please get Corey and Tray's new book Round Here and Over Yonder It is a travel guide And if I do say so

It is hilarious Yes by the way We recorded the audio book So it's gonna be great It's gonna be better than great It's going to be fucking awesome. It's what it's going to be. Pre-orders really help.

The book will be out September 19th, but you can go ahead and reserve your copy anywhere that you get books or by going to tray crow crow crowder.com or Corey Ryan Forrester.com. On there, you will see that you're able to pick it up from an indie bookstore. And obviously, that would be our preference for you to do so. Now, however you want to get it, that's between you and the Lord, and we don't care just so long as you do. pre-order it because like I said it really helps round here and over yonder a hillbilly travel guide

go ahead and skit it now love y'all very much seriously I love y'all I could I could kiss you I could kiss you all right on the mouth right now