wellRED podcast - #336 - Food Stamps & Burning Man w/ Tushar Singh!

Episode Date: September 6, 2023

With Corey out, The Indian Outlaw Tushar Singh joins Trae and Drew to discuss Burning Man, food stamps, and much more! If you havent already, we sure would preciate you pre ordering Trae And Corey's New book Round Here and Over Yonder! You can do so at TraeCrowder.com where you can also find dates to see Trae on the road! Go to DrewMorganComedy.com to see Drew in a city near you! Corey does bonus stuff at PartTimeFunnyMan.com and he sure wishes you'd subscribe! We hope you are enjoying all the podcasts in the extended Skewwniverse: Puttin On Airs, Weekly Skeews, Gravy Baby.... and if youre not... well... you ourt be! Love yall!

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what is there by the indian outlaw back again what's up y'all thanks for having me Thank you, Corey, for being busy with what the hell you're busy with. He's trying to gain the well-read 50. Well, it's funny because Corey did tell us he's like something huge came up, I just can't do it today. And right before we started, he was sending a barrage of text messages about a run-in his sister had with a mentally handicapped person in Chickamauga. So he seemed super busy, you know.

It was at the doctor? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe he had to be the doctor with her. With his sister? Yeah, maybe. I don't know. But anyway, yeah. This mentally handicapped boy took his sister slush.

and chugged it, right? Just right in front of it. But she didn't drink. But he didn't drink at all. What do you think about that, too, Char? Like, what's better or worse? So here's what his sister said. I don't think Corey's with her.

She's texting him, I think. Oh, you're right. Anyway, Corey's sister said that this mentally handicapped boy ran up, grabbed her slushy and drank a good amount of it, but then his mom called him and made him put it down and was like, we're so sorry and drug him away. But she's like, I'd rather just giving him the whole slushy. Like, I'm not going to finish that slushy now, you know?

So now neither of us get the, I could have made his day, giving him a whole slushie, but his mom ruined that. But also, now I don't have a slushy. What do you think? I totally drink the rest of it. I wouldn't give a fuck, but what do you think? Are you asking me because it's involving a slushie? Yeah, you got, yeah, you're a gas station expert, right?

Yeah, you know. You're people. You know all those convenience treats. Yeah, no, it's not. Gas station correspondent. Yeah, yeah. We're alive from 7-Eleven. Yeah.

No, man, you can't drink after a retard, right? I knew. I knew it. I know that he's allowed to say it. I mean, I can say it. Yeah. Why not? It ain't catching.

I don't know, man. Why wouldn't you drink it? Yeah. Yeah. That's his mentality. I might get it. Right. That's what I could tell you.

I guess in a post-COVID world, I guess a lot of people probably wouldn't do it. Also, I feel like they got to have the immune system of a fucking robot. So, like, you know, there's no telling where they got swimming around in there. You know what I mean? Yeah. everything in there just fend them for its life, dude. But so did COVID? I was, I have never been remotely germophobic.

And I feel like COVID didn't impact me at all in that regard. Like it changed. It changed me a little bit, but not much. Like, I'll notice when people fucking cough without covering their mouth and stuff. And I don't feel like I did before. Motherfuckers just keep sneezing on a plane or keep coughing on a plane. I'll notice that I never did. But I don't think I changed much about my life other than the mask during it.

Too sure. Yeah, I didn't. I didn't start drinking after people, like, just friends and whatever, until, like, sophomore year of college. Before that, I was like, I am not drinking after you. I'm not, you know, using whatever. I don't know what that was. But at some point in college, I was like, I don't give a shit. Yeah.

Dude, I've taught this on here before. But when I went in, when I was in high school, the black kids, they, of course, were, like, the trendsetters, naturally. And they had this game. And I'm doing air quotes when I say game, this thing that they would do that we then all started doing. And literally, they called it. First drank, right? It was called first drank. And literally all it was was if you saw a friend of yours who just got a drink out of a Vennemachine or something and you call first drink, you get first drink.

You get first drink. You get the first drink of their drink. And then so everybody was just drinking after everybody all day because it was always like. I think I got got beat up. Before refusing to participate. Because we never, that never crossed your mind. You're always like like, you know, skybone. Be like first drink.

You'd be like, oh, darn it. It's like calling shotgun. Yeah, exactly. I guess I got to give you my power right now, Sky. If I buy something for me and it's known that it's my thing in the house, Andy can eat all of it as long as I get to first bite. Like crunchy peanut butter, she doesn't give a shit. She prefers almond butter anyway.

If I went to the store, I did the shop, and I grabbed some crunchy peanut butter, I want to open it. That's my snack. She's got her snacks. I would never eat the first coconut ice cream bar. But once the box is open, then it's fair game. Some things I feel like the last is better. I'm the first guy.

I don't know. First also hits, but the last is like. You ask for fast. After that, it's over. Yeah, you ask about last. If there was one bar left, I'd be like, might have I have this? Yeah, right.

Because last is special. You're right. You don't ask about first. I think I feel about first the way most people feel about last. And I also feel that way about last, now that I'm thinking about it. Right. Are you eating the crunchy peanut butter with your fingers? Like, why?

I know my dick. That's not like a soda. Yeah. my dick no i just you don't like well you know what this came up when i had roommates more than any other time like when you got roommates but you have your stuff it was like man sincerely eat all my peanut butter but don't open my fucking peanut butter there was a kid i won't say his name me and luke from duke used to live with he would open your shit yeah that's crazy fuck him fuck his name it'll be like wilson you can have all the peanut butter don't ever open my peanut butter yeah i got lucky mostly with all that

I had a roommate once who tried to become a drug dealer. You know, he sold weed out of our house and also was an idiot about it. And also, like, even though he was selling weed, was always laid on his rent and all that shit, which I know, like, seems to track, but really always pissed me off because it's like, what is the point of, like, being a drug dealer if you're not going to have cat, you know? And also, his part of the rent was $150, you know what I mean? Because this was 15 years ago in Cookville, Tennessee. these. We had like a four-bedroom house for 600 bucks a month or something. And it used to drive me

crazy. Outside of that, never had that many problems with it in large part because one of my roommates, his daddy got a shitload of food stamps and just let us use like half of them. So we were like eating off of a, you know, his daddy food stamp card for a good chunk of the month. And, you know, that would buy a lot of hot pockets, pizza rolls. The big chub was a favorite of ours, which is the big ass baloney log. Yeah, called the Big Chub. Big Chub. That same dude wore Luke's boxers once.

I just remembered that. Teets, friend of the pod, legend, Kevin Teets. He got food stamps on a bet one time. His buddy had just graduated and had a kid and couldn't get food stamps for whatever reason, like tried to qualify and didn't. And Kevin was like, you just don't know how to do it. And the guy was like, whatever. And he goes, I can do it without a kid.

And then he did. And then we toured the country looking at law schools, just fucking eating gas station food stamp food. Was the sacred ingredient? lying? I don't know. You never told me. Might be. Had to be.

Let me ask a question on food stamps. How does that work? Asking questions on food stamps, you're not allowed to. Or do you get literal stamps? Used to be. Used to be. And I remember I'm well versed in food stamps. Grew up on them.

I'll let Trey take this one. Used to be they were literal stamps, right? But what was happening with that was people were using that as a currency for pills and weed and shit, right? Like instead of, you know, giving somebody $15 for, you know, X3 pills or whatever, I don't remember the market value, you could give them $20 worth of food stamps or $25 worth the food stamps, right? So the government found out about that. And, of course, like government always does, has to fuck a good thing up, right? You got a whole niche market going on here.

They couldn't have that. So that's what they came out with the cards. And then the food stamps were on the cards. And so we were supposed to, like, check your ID and shit like that. tied directly to you, but people got around that too. I participated in this so many times. Again, here for me as a college student, you go to the Walmart in Cookville, Tennessee, right? You just wait a minute, right?

If somebody will come up to you and say, like, hey, you got food stamps? No, I don't. Okay, well, I do, all right? And I'll buy your groceries. I'll buy $150 of your groceries that you have in your cart, right? All them pizza rolls and hot pockets and stuff. I'll buy those on my food stamp card if you give me $75. cash, right? And it's like, that's a fucking deal. It's a good deal. It's a great deal. So I did that

shit so many times. So then you got to go through the line with this trailer monster, right, and pretend she's your old lady or mama or something. I mean, not like the cashier gives a fuck, but still you do it because they got to be standing. They have to be the ones doing it. So you like go through the line with them. They pay for your shit. You give them 420s. You each go about your way. So many, many ways to defraud our system. Did you ever? Which deserves it. What? Did you ever think back in your own childhood and be like, oh, I am perpetuating the cycle of taking food out of this trailer mama's kids' mouths? Not that you could have stopped it.

The next person in line was going to say yes. But did you ever have that thought back then? No, never once. No. Matter of fact, not really until this moment. The reason she had extra food stamps is she had kids and her mama, I don't think the kids were starving. I genuinely don't. I think the kids live with someone else, but she's still on paper, had custody.

You know what I mean? which is a good racket. Another thing, when I had, when I first had my first baby, too short, my me-ma called me and was like, good news, I got two whole boxes of baby food y'all can have for free. And I was like, hell yeah, the hookup, what happened? You know, then I come to find out the neighbor had had her baby taken away, right? And thus, they took her baby. And thus, they had all this baby food.

They didn't eat anymore, right? So I got hooked up once again. I texted DJ, how many food stamps is a perk 10? Yeah. And he said, I don't know, but them Roxy's was about 15. 15. Yeah, back to that for a Roxy. Which, you know, that's inflation too because, man, roxies are a lot more now.

Tushar, have you ever seen, and this is related to what we were talking about, the Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia? No, but that seems right up my alley. It is. I promise you it is. I thought we'd even talked about it before with you because, yeah, you. I've got to show it to them. Dude, you've got to say it.

So there was a documentary. What is it? So there was a documentary made by these students who, it was like for class. Like these are total amateurs. And they went up in the mountains because they heard about the last of the mountain cloggers, which is a style of dancing that was popular in Appalachia a long time ago. Like the documentaries from the 90s and this dude was the last one, right? Well, his name was Jesco White, and he is, and I'm not making a joke, certifiably insane.

Oh, yeah. He is Jessica White, the dancing outlaw. He does do this mountain clogging stuff. and he's good at it. He had a buddy named Wally who'd play guitar, and the whole tagline from the movie is, uh, my name's,

is it, wait, is it Roscoe or Jethro? It's Jesco. Jessco. I have, fuck, combine him.

My name's Jesco. That there's Wally. Give us a 20 and we'll dance for your party. Wild Woodflower, Wally, and then he'd start playing wildwood flower, which is a very complicated song. And then he'd start dancing on this,

like, piece of plywood, wild and crazy, right? So these dudes are like, we've got gold. This is going to be the greatest documentary ever. It was, but not because this dude was such a good dancer. He, like, thought he was Elvis during certain parts of the documentary. He tried to murder his wife on screen.

It's a funny thing to say, but it's kind of harrowing to watch. Well, Johnny Knoxville was obsessed with it. Johnny Knoxville went back with a proper film crew and then just, like, hung out with his relatives, all his kids, years later. And, I mean, it's, it's like, I don't want to say. like put too final point it's not like avangar but it's a really incredible documentary and it's funny but not for good reasons yeah exactly it's like if you're uh i don't know i've me anyway being such white trash i went into it and got through the first 15 minutes or so of it thinking like you know laughing me like i know these motherfuckers or whatever and but you're at a certain point where you're

like man this is like yeah right you're like this is this is fucked up i was even telling too sure about it just now yeah and i was And I was like, and I was like, it's not funny at all. Right. There's really, really funny scenes. When they go through that Taco Bell line. Oh, yeah, and they're shaking the pill bottles. And they're like, and this woman's crying, and they're trying to order Taco Bell, and one of them's crying.

And they go, they took her baby. She's crying her. Can we get two bean burritos? Yeah. She's sad because she ain't got no baby no more. Oh, no. And then right back to the order. You'll have that.

Too sure, are you in Alabama or New York? I'm in New York. It is 92 years right now. It's disgusting. It's actually kind of cool here today, comparatively. It's been hotter than the devil's anews out here for most of the past. I don't even know. Weeks, but today's not bad.

You've got a decent week with that, like the last five days or so, right? Four? Yeah. Yeah. What were you about to say? I got one more, I got one more food stamp question. Sweet. Can you use them anywhere?

No. Like, it's a card, right? Yeah. So there's only certified food stamp retailers. They usually have it posted somewhere. It says EBT. It'll say EBT somewhere, and that means that they take it. Oh, okay, okay, okay.

They used to also... And the same system is unemployment? Electronic benefits something. Okay. Electronic benefits to... What the hell's the tea? I don't know. But anyway,

and also, like, you can't use them on... At least you didn't, you back in my day. You couldn't use them on hot food, like cooked food. Fresh. Like you couldn't order takeout with them or whatever. Yeah, done with these porers out here living too high on the hall. Right. Then you'd have, but then they'd have like, what was that, what's that pizza chain that does take and bake?

Papa Murphy's. Yeah, where you can, like, get a pre-made pizza and then bake it yourself. Like, they, part of that was, they could, you could use a food stamp card on that, right? So that opened up a whole other market to them, you see. The Papa Murphy loophole, I think it was known as. Then there's a WIC. You know what WIC is, too sure? That's for babies specifically, right?

Nope. And their mommas. Women, infants, and children. That's specific food stamps. That's for baby related stuff, like formula milk. I think cheese is on it. I feel like it is. Like the little...

Diapers maybe? Those little cracker things. Diapers surely, probably. But yeah, it's just like just baby stuff. It's like food stamps, but just for baby stuff. Everybody in my family but my family but my... family was on WIC. Does that make sense?

Like all my cousins, most my cousins. Man. Yeah. And I don't want to put anybody on blast here, even though I talked about this in our book, but like I had a wild moment at a certain point when I was having my kids because I was talking to some friends of mine from back home because, again,

you know, they all got kids, right, a lot of people, whatever. And at that time, when my kids were first born, I still worked,

I worked at the DOE, I was probably making, at that point they were first born, I was probably making about 70 grand a year. But Katie, had stopped working because the boys were born and I still had student loan debt, credit card debt, all this shit. So I was very much living paycheck to paycheck, right, and had babies and was like talking about that

with some of my friends and they were like, I don't remember how much I was making, but I know it was too much because I was talking to my friends and they were like, well, just, you know, just go get your stuff, you know what I mean? Meaning like your wick and food, just go get your, but just go down there and get your shit that you get. Yeah. Right. And I remember being like, I don't, but I don't get that shit because of the amount of money

I make in my job or whatever, like, and they like didn't, they did not know that. Really? I mean, it definitely seemed that they did not know that. They were like, they were like. They thought everybody got it. Yeah, right. There's like, no, you got a kid. You get this stuff.

Yeah. How it should be. No, it's not. Yeah, it is wild. Well, no, I don't want to get into that whole thing. I can start sounding like Oliver Anthony on here or whatever. It's like, but. It's like it kind of, some of those.

Everyone should just be able to get stuff with their kids. Of course I believe that. Of course I believe that. But what I'm saying is like if you think about it, they kind of like if you have that perception, it's almost like living in a, you know, in like a socialist country or place or whatever. I don't know what I mean. I don't think it's untread waters that like so many people on the draw hate socialism. Do you know what I mean? Yeah.

There's like millions of people on the government. who's like, well, that's different. Oh, yeah, I need my food stamps. No, it's not. I heard that said so many times. We were going to qualify for WIC at the moment, and Andy just didn't go to the meeting. And I found all this out, like, later. She's like, oh, I missed it.

And I was like, do we get a try again? She's like, probably. I'm like, all right, well, I guess I can't push it. Yeah, I don't know. Good luck with that. Tushar, what's up, buddy? How things going? Man, things are fine.

Things are good. Traveling around, running around, doing shows. I don't know, man. It's comedy is a really, like, I'm at that point where I still need to do the hang. And at this age, it's aggressively exhausting. Oh, yeah. So it's comedy. You know, it is what it is.

Yeah, it sucks. I wasn't going to talk about this, but we're in it. I was supposed to have an audition at the store last night, and I just didn't. You mean like you just didn't? No, I just got there and they were like, oh, next time. We're just not going to do that, yeah. And I was like, oh, okay. That's, I guess that's the system here.

I don't know, you know, it's like, I don't know, I don't know what I'm trying to express. At my age, it's like, no, we had a, what a conversation? There's a system of some sort. We had an agreement. Put it on my calendar. Yeah, like, I don't, what are we talking about? If you notice right here on my calendar. Oh, dude, you don't want to do it.

the main booker's not here and it's like oh okay let's open with that next time but why why aren't they here? That's also something somebody could have messaged me before I drove my ass out here but it's like the assumption is we're going to be here anyway. No the fuck I was not no the fuck I was not going to be here

anyway on a Monday dude. Right but I mean they probably assume that most people would innocently. I mean like not being dickens. Well you're going to be here anyway because like if that's what do there. That's what people do there. Good good hearted friends of mine.

Yeah. Just like, innocently. Yeah. Oh, yeah, dude. Do it next week. Right.

You're going to be here all those weeks. And again, I wasn't mad. I was just like, I can't believe this is the attitude. Right.

But it is. Tushar, are you like drinking at these hands? Like, you've been drinking a lot? No, I've scaled back drinking. I do that once a week.

If that... So you're telling me, you're like going out... Just because my body is breaking the fuck down. Yeah, right. But are you telling me you're going out

and like hanging out to the wee hours? because that's what you got to do, like, comedically on the scene. But you're doing all that sober as a judge, is what you're telling me? I'm trying to. Bro. It's rough. That's what's rough about it.

Like, before it used to be a hang, and then it was a social hang. Now it's like, man, 42. Ain't no joke. I just don't. I just literally don't think I could do it without drinking. And then I can't do that for more than, like, literally two days or two nights in a row. I've been smoking if there's no chance of me going up. Oh, I can't do that.

for show. I can smoke with like in the corner of the parking lot and then stand at the back of the room kind of thing. Can you smoke out? Yeah. Yeah. Did you give up on? Oh yeah. He's probably high as hell all the time, right? Yeah. I'm not, yeah, I'm not low. Let's just say that. Yeah. But I, it's just, it's just, it's just crazy

like because there's probably 300 new comics a day in New York or something, you know, some crazy staff where you did this come in from all over. Yep. And I was hanging out with a, with, with just a crew of people. And I remember it was a Thursday night, 1245. I'm literally being like, all right, I may get food, but I'm so tired and I'm done with the hang. And there's two people, two comics who are like, we're about to go to Queens to see if we can get a spot on the two o'clock. Yeah, right.

I was just like, what the how? Yeah. But I get it. I mean, that's what you need. But I see myself in that. I'm like, oh, my God. I literally can't do that anymore. I didn't get it.

I went to like two of those or three of those in New York, and then I also knew who went to him. There's like one guy I can think of who's still doing it, man. That's not dedication. That's not getting better. That's people who have nowhere to go. I mean, yeah, I don't know. It can be both.

It can be both. But do you, like, listen, do you know, do you remember that time at that festival we all did where I never forget it? I got like, I got like, I didn't get literally the best. The very last show of the festival was a best of the fest show. This is my favorite story about you. That was like booked. Let me tell it.

Okay. All right. This was, we were nobody's. Absolutely nobody's, yeah. And we did the Dead Crow, I think it was called. Cape Fear. At Dead Crow. In Wilmington, North Carolina, yeah.

And Rebecca Trent, who runs the Creek in the Cave in Austin, used to run it in New York, I think it was still booking Fallon. So, like, is an important person in the industry, right? and she's been watching all week and there's going to be a showcase at the end called the Best of the Fest and they're going to pick five comics to do 10 minutes and it was Peggy O'Leary hosted

it was here were the five that they picked it was me I can't remember Sam Talent Sam's buddy Dave whose last name I can't remember he quit when he got a kid Oh I thought you meant before No no no so it was me Sam Talent, Dave

Dolcee Sloan, and Trey Crowder. Yay, yay. Now, like, undeniably, Dave who quit because he has a kid, I'm doing the worst out of the five bests of the fest that they pick, right? Those are various forms of giants. Peggy comes up to me, Peggy O'Leary, she's hosting. And she goes, okay, you got best of the feds,

here's what we're going to do. Where's Trey? I need to tell him the order. And I go, oh, Trey's not coming. and she goes What? And I was like Yeah We kind of got high earlier

And then Trey Just like Don't want to be here And she goes I don't What do you mean? And I was like Yeah he don't care about this

And Sam Talent was standing there And he goes The fucking legend And she was like All right I guess everybody gets 12 And we were all like Fuck yeah dude it rules somebody, whether it was her or I don't think it was Rebecca, it might have been,

some, a lady called me, like I talked on the phone, you know, called me as like, are you, you really not coming out? That was Rebecca. And I was like, I was like. That was the Booker of Fallon. We, I guess, had smoked or whatever else, but I also had, I'd been drinking for like hours. This also, I, and maybe I'm wrong about this, but I feel like at this point in time in Wilmington, you couldn't just like get an Uber, I don't think.

I would have went back and got you. Right. We had Chedorn driving us around literally. Anyway, I was back at the hotel. I spoke that drank. It's like one in the morning. I was like, I, you know, I was like, yeah, I'm not. I can't, I can't make it.

It was like, it was in the like tone of like, tell him I ain't got it, man. You know what I mean? Like that's how I was like, yeah, I just can't. I just can't make it. And he told me that. I was like, hey, congratulations. Right. Your best of the fest, blah, blah, blah.

And he's like, no, I can't, I can't do it. And I've never been so excited to deliver news. in my life because I knew these people from New York. You know what I mean? I'd been in the trenches with these people in New York. These were hungry people. Sam Town is one of the coolest dudes ever. But like everyone else, including me, would have stepped on our mama's face to get that

last spot. You know what I mean? And he just seems like, nah. I love that. All my sales turned on. I could not wait. I was telling everybody, Trey don't want to do it. Trey's not coming.

Oh. So if anybody told me, make a crazy. That's so cool. Yeah, I'm super cool, dude. You didn't know? Yeah, I'm like the coolest dude there is. No, I'm saying like your coolest story involves you not showing up to a thing. It's not like you showed up and we're like a tornado.

No. You just didn't show up and that's awesome. Yeah, right. Same town I'm murdered. Oh, I guarantee that. If anybody somebody picked up my phone and make a crazy face, when it goes, because I just got a notification, said something about the chiefs. The chief say Travis Kelsey's ACL is okay, which I didn't know was a question.

Meanwhile, I drafted him. No one cares about my fantasy team. I just thought. That's my real team, though. Fuck your fantasy team. Thought people might see my face. I'd be like, wonder what happened. But anyway, listen, let me tell you guys about something real quick.

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They're like, no, we don't fool with that food stamp market. Yeah, but, you know, they'll always have hot pockets and whatnot. They're there when you need them. Yep. Making you fatter. Drew. Yeah. So you went to Burning Man last year, right?

I did. Which means you missed the great mud of pocket. apocalypse at Burning Man by just one year. This year, as of right now, I think, all the people at Burning Man, they've been stuck there for days, like in the mud. They can't get out. They started leaving yesterday. Okay, so they're getting out now. But they were there for days, and you were saying yesterday, you're like, well, really, the truth is, the year I was there last year, that was way harder than this year. He asked me, and then I'm the guy who sounds like this.

That's what he said, though. Hey, let's talk about Burning Man, and then I'll make fun of you for being the guy who won't shut the fuck up about burning man. So let me say, before we cut this in the clips or anyone else, like, I'm being asked about burning man. I refuse to talk to you fucking plebeians about burning man unless I am forced to. No. What I was saying is last year was one of the hottest years on record, maybe the hottest. It was miserable.

Right. It was hard to do anything during the day. And then at night, you'd have like three hours in you and you'd just be tired. Like that's, I mean, it was taking it out of you. You couldn't sleep. You know what I mean? It was hard. It's a desert and then it's hot for the desert.

You know what I mean? It's like, oh shit, this is one of the hottest runs we've had in a literal desert. You know what I'm saying? You've been at Bonneroo when it's like triple digits or whatever and it's like humid. How does it compare? Because, I mean, that's fucking brutal. If you're not acclimated to the humidity, which I wasn't the last time it was humid at Bonneroo because I've been living in California, it's legitimately worse.

Yeah. If you're acclimated to it because it's just like, it's a difference between 85 and literally 115. And then also it's 10 days for most people. Fuck, dude. Not everybody does 10 days,

but let me explain what I was saying. It started raining and Burning Man Thursday, late Thursday. So the only people who were stuck were planning on leaving early anyway. I'm not sure they could get out Sunday, which is the day most people leave. So it was extended by a day.

But Burning Man has no vendors. It's not like people selling food and water there. You're supposed to bring your own. And you're supposed to plan for this. They've had rain in the past. So what you saw was the news reacting to like TikToks and Instagrams of people who either didn't know that

or like just kind of jumped on the trend of like, we're stuck here. The only real danger, as far as I know, was Porta Potty's getting too full. They were going to end up, you know, in shit rivers. Yeah. And that would be a problem. It didn't happen. Yeah. Because they couldn't get in to pump them for a couple days. How did they

keep that from happening. I had to keep bringing it all back to Bonaroo. Because there's so many of them. By the end of the day at Bonaroo, a lot of days, they called it snow conning, I think, which is always super gross. Where it like, yeah, the, you know, the refute, the poop, yeah, right, builds up in a porta potty into like a mound above it. By the end of many nights at Bonarro, they're mostly all like that. Then they pump it out every morning. Because there's so many more. There's so many more because they know it's the only thing that could really go wrong. Yeah. There's just so many more. is what I think. And then also, when Burning Man started, there wasn't port-a-potties.

You're supposed to bring it out with you in a bucket. Oh, you're supposed to poop in a bucket all time and then take your poop bucket with you when you leave? It started as a literal survivalist, like, festival. And it's just, like, morphed into what it is now. And, I mean, and I think that's good. I wasn't going to go poop in a bucket and not do drugs. You know what I mean? Like, I'm glad that it became what it is.

But my point is, like, a lot of the people are into that, like, weirdly into it. You know what I mean? Okay. But when I think. a survivalist. I think of like, my youngest son Benton is super into those shows, like alone. You ever seen alone? Yeah. You know, like bear grills.

So this is the opposite of a loan. 70,000. That's what I was going to say. Because it's a party. You said it's a survivalist thing and I was like, when I think a survivalist, I think of some like one bearded lunatic in the woods by himself, pooping. Right. In a holy done. Well, I don't want to speak for those people because I'm not one of them. But I think it's like, yeah, but they like are like, no, what do we do when society breaks down? We've got to lean on each other.

we've got to like have a you know what I'm saying and also it's just fun I mean yeah those people like to have fun believe it or not right and then the other thing I was going to say is oh so you had people who like tried to come for the weekend who couldn't get in that was another big complaint and then finally what you had happened was people who were like I got to get back to work on Monday you're supposed to like not do that because you could get stuck there. There's so many, like, it's not a rule, but it's like, hey, don't plan on going back to work Monday. A lot of stuff could go wrong. People like, I'm going to get fired if I don't go back to work. They started walking out. And of course, that made the news. But it was, and I mean this

genuinely, never a dire situation. It was cold and wet, and the party got rained on. And then my understanding is Monday night, they usually burn on Sunday. They burn the man on Sunday. Or no, they burn the man on Saturday. They burn the temple on Sunday. My understanding is on Monday night, They burned them both, and it was, everybody was, you know, it was a great party because they had to wait on it. You know what I mean? Wasn't there a thing with Chris Rock and Diplo where they walked like six miles where somebody picked him up and gave him a ride? So Diplow had to go to work. Diplo had a show in D.C.

I assume Chris was never planning on staying the night that he got, you know, driven in by somebody and was going to like check it out and then leave. Right. And had something to do. And yeah, I mean, that was the other thing. The news was like, you're not allowed to leave. They never said you're not allowed to leave. They said, hey, stay put or you'll get fucking stuck. and then people did.

Right. And if you want to walk out, they're not, you're not kidnapped. I mean, the whole thing is like, you know, do whatever you want. So I hope I didn't. It's funny because I feel like what's going on on the internet is people are like having more fun shitting on it. Thinking it's worse than it is. So you're kind of poo-poo in the party that everybody's having,

making fun of the people who got stuck in their own poop at burning my house. Because I was fucking asked to. Yeah, right. But I'm just saying you're like, you're just, you know, stating facts or whatever. Well, I saw a meme that said the only thing more annoying than someone talking about Burning Man, it turns out, is people talking about how much Burning Man sucks.

I saw a tweet that I thought was pretty funny. I said, really? You're laughing right now? Influencers at Burning Man are unable to fulfill sponsored content agreements and you're laughing. See, I thought that was great. I did too. And what's great about that is probably 90% of burners love that too.

Yeah, right. You're literally... That's only about the percent that's really... ruining burning man that they don't have for them. Well, ruining aside, on your ticket, it says if you try to commodify this, and we find out we will ban you.

Yeah. So it's like it is actually against, like they have like five rules and that's one of them. It's like, don't kidnap, you know what I mean? Don't shit in the street. And right up there is, hey, don't be an influencer here.

Hey, is there, is there police there? Is there any type of like, you can't rape anyone vibe? Yeah. Because Tushar's out. Two char's like,

I was going to go, but, you know, No, I'm just wondering If it's all like It's federal land Community coming together And supporting There are nine different agencies

Who have boots on the ground With various goals Like most of our cops Most of them just want to arrest people For doing drugs And make a bunch of money And you know Be fucking undercover

I never experienced it One on one But all my friends tell me That you can spot the dudes So easily But it's harder with the girls Because it's like You're on drugs

And it's like a hot chick's like You want some acid You're like Fuck yeah dude Titties and then, you know, you're handcuffed. Well, that don't hit. If you're not selling them, they let you go

and make you come back to court, just for money. But anyway, yes, there are people there for that sort of thing. And then there's a volunteer group, I think, called the Black Rock Rangers who have some structure and organization who, like, you know,

they don't have the authority to arrest you, but if you feel like, hey, this dude's over here raping, they'd come beat him up. I mean, that's something. You police yourself, dude. If you beat the shit out of somebody, what's somebody going to do?

So it's not all peace. and love at Burning Man. No, it's not hippies, dude. It's weirdos. Yeah, okay. They had a huge gun lover faction. My understanding is like the first decade. Dudes was running around on their motorcycles just shooting guns in the air and shit. What the fuck? Like Saudi

princes. Yeah, dude. That's wild as hell. Tushar, were you out on Burning Man slash festival culture? You ever partook in any of that? I find the whole thing Super white. It just seems

like a lot to handle and me in that situation I would burn my all my fuel the first night and I'd be in recovery mode for the next two three days like I just can I need my I'm a creature comfort person so like the idea of like even living in a camper and living that life for a block of time what about like the city ones I'm not even like that one in New York I think it's called governor's ball I've been to that once what about that are you are you not interested in that either like a music festival yeah like just a day long thing. I don't mind them, but you kind of have to do drugs.

You can't go in sober. Yeah. Yeah. So that's my position. If you're going to do it, do it right. I interpreted Trey's question is asking kind of about music. Because Burnman really is very different. I said Burn a man in like festival culture.

So I mean, I'm lumping them together too. But yeah, I meant music festivals too. Like I did a used to go to Bonnaroo every year, I went to a couple the same or together. But that was when I was in my 20s and I could like I could handle. it then. But even then, it's like it's a marathon, not a sprint, like you were saying. The first one I ever went to, I went way too hard on Thursday night. Fucked up the whole weekend. Still had a good time, but you were yet to learn how to like paste yourself. But ever since I've been well into my 30s,

there's like, there's no fucking way. He still does it, though. He's a wild man. I mean, I would, I would do it in like if I had an air-conditioned RV and a VIP pass and just like everything was the hit in this way to go about it, I would maybe do it if the lineup was incredible. You're talking about a music festival. Yeah. Burning Man, I never really had any interest in Burning Man until you told us about it last year. And I mean, you made it sound appealing. But fuck, dude.

It was also really hard. The desert in August, like, I can't. I don't think I would survive that. Well, and they did that on purpose, too, to try and prevent it from becoming what it's become. Yeah. But you just can't be capitalism, dude. I mean, you know what I mean? It's like, they had to have an airport in case someone, you know, dies, like, breaks their neck, right?

We've got to have a way to medevac people. Well, once you have an airport, like the FAA, you can't just like, you've got to let people use it. Well, I mean, now, dude, they literally fly in from San Francisco and shit on their own fucking jets. I heard, I saw somebody say that they have a jet there. Oh, they embrace that part. That's like the fuck jet. Oh, really? Like some rich motherfuckers think.

So, right, the way it works is like you come in, like, you got to have something to give people and it can be like fucking flower bouquets or whatever, but it can also be like experiences or art or shit that you make or whatever. Yeah. And I guess this one super rich guy, his thing that he donated to the community, his bartering item was like, he was like, yeah, I'm going to have my private jet out here. I thought it went skydiving. Are they fucking on the skydive jet? It's the mile high club thing. That's what I read. It's like you take the jet will take you up just to bang in the sky and then you land and somebody else gets on there. And it's like all these, you know, tech bros just just butt fucking in this airplane for hours on end.

It's going to be pretty gross by Wednesday, but still, it's neat. But anyway, I heard that was a thing. I mean, you know, that shit's wild. There's a Thunderdome. There's a Thunderdome rules. Thunderdome's my favorite thing. I mean, that sounds fun.

My friend took me, and I had high expectations of the Thunderdome, and it exceeded them. There is also, like, there are people who, like, build huge-ass tents, and then it's, like, exclusive. They have security and stuff. But if they find out you're doing that, they'll kick you out.

Yeah. Like, you won't get invited back. because you're not supposed to do that. And then also, so to get around that, they'll try to make it, like, sneaky. Like, there's not, like, a lot of signs. It's, like, kind of invent-only, you can't tell. And my buddy Lou for a few years, his favorite thing to do was to find those parties and then go in there and just be an asshole.

Like, find the parties where they're trying to make it exclusive and just going to be like, hey, is this your guys first Bernie, man? What's that? You know, and, yeah. He's also big. It's not the same thing, but you were there, but I think you were upstairs. One night at all the Ebbets after a show at the D. improv. I accidentally did that with some

like, I think it was like high-powered hobbyists, lobbyists and senators and shit in like the basement of old Ebbots. I was like looking for the bathroom. And I went down there and I was like, oh shit, there's a whole other bar down here. Goddown. I walk up to the bartender and I'm like, hey, buddy, give me whatever. And then these like dudes and suits come over there and just

like, hey, can we help you? They're like standing there all ominously for a minute. And I was like, I'm just getting a drink. I don't know what the problem. And they're like, yeah, you can't be down here. And, you know, I don't know. I don't think you did tell me because I would have went. That's right before they you know, broke out the child sacrifices and whatnot, I assume happened right after that.

There is something gross about the idea of Burning Man, and it's like a way for tech billionaires or just rich people to let loose for, you know, like I like ratchet people doing ratchet things at festivals. I love that idea, but the people who are in my head just doing this as an experience and whatever, I mean, I guess it is what it is, but that seems gross to me. Well, yeah, but I mean, they're at Bonarue. You know what I mean?

They're at Electric Daisy Carnival. They're at NFL football games in the boxes. It's like, I don't know how you prevent that from happening. I will acknowledge that when you look at how unbelievable some of the art is, there's a little bit of you. It's like, well, I get why we let the billionaires come and hang out with us because we couldn't have paid for this. What did you give away?

So I worked with a camp that we were a coffee shop. We were open every day from 8 to noon. The coffee was free, and we had a bunch of games, and we'd make food, too. Every once, like, I think two days a week we made food and gave it away, like eggs or whatever. I was going to cringe at the 8 in the morning, but I know when it's that hot, you're up at 7 anyway, 630 or 7 o'clock. Well, and you don't do – we had, like, shifts. I think I had to work four shifts. I can't remember.

Maybe 3. Yeah. But you're right, Jhaar. I mean, there's – I definitely prefer the ratchet aspect to it. Here's a real gross one. That guy who won that case in front of the Supreme Court where Nestle is allowed to have child slaves. His name is he's one of your people, I think, Tushar. Oh, I know what you're talking about.

Something Patal. Well, that does not narrow it. He now teaches at Georgetown. He posted a picture on his way out. Had a good time, and he looked fucking stupid. He looked like he had somebody doing a bit about a Burning Man character. Like he had like this shirt on or whatever. And people were like,

y'all had him out there with no rules. Why didn't you murder this fucking guy? And then like a lot of people are like, because we didn't know who he was. I mean, like burners aren't fucking internet patriots, dude. They're just fucking burnouts. Right. Anyway, it was funny.

This is a random question. I watched that movie The Northman a few days ago. Robert Eggers' Viking movie starring Alexander Scarsgar. I've been wanting to see that. It's good. I was, it's weird. This is totally unfair of me.

This is, this, I'm an example of how frustrating it can be to be any kind of creator at some points, I think, because like, I went into that movie worried it would be too artsy, fartsy because Robert Eggers can be, he likes some arts in his farts, right? He made the lighthouse and whatnot, which I, I like that movie, but it's like wild. It's out there. And this night, I just want to see a metalist fuck Viking rip shit up, right? I wasn't into any fucking, uh, Franks shit. Yeah, right.

This violence is not a metaphor for nothing. No, yeah, fuck all that. But then I watched it and I ended up being, it was good and it's definitely metal as fuck, and I recommend it. But I ended up being almost a little letdown because I was like, well, I mean, I thought it would be a little wilder than that. You know what I mean? Yeah, right.

I thought there'd be a modicum of art in the farts, you know, but like, and there was a little bit. There was a little bit. But anyway, none of that is even the point. It made me think of something that I wanted to talk about. the podcast this week. I thought Corey was going to be here and he grew up in the church and shit, but Tushar, you know, you've been known about other gods and stuff. Dushar got some gods.

He got some guys up his sleeve. I got gods on gods on gods. My gods got gods on, sleeves on sleeves on sleeves. Yeah, that's right. Absolutely. On them arms. So anyway, it got me to wondering, like, I don't know how Odin and them. I don't know how they died out, right?

Like, as a belief system. I don't know. Vikings got conquered or whatever. cultural victory. I don't know the story of it. Some people claim to still believe. Right, but very, very few. Same with like Zeus and them motherfuckers. Sure.

But like those things, Odin and Zeus and them are all considered like rad. Like, would Jesus and his boys be like that if they weren't, you know, genuinely believed in by so many people? Like if Christianity had gone the way

of Norse mythology and Greek mythology and all those gods, would people have like Jesus, I know people already have Jesus tattoos, but I mean, would like, you know, drug-doing bikers have like Jesus, I know they already have those. You know what I'm trying to say.

Yes, I do. I don't think the drug-doing bikers would because his message was, quote-unquote, radically different, not to put the too final point on the rad question. They were like, they had some violent wrath shit and Jesus was all love. Aren't there like archangels and stuff

who are fucking metal and shit, Michael and Gabriel and these motherfuckers? Like, wouldn't they all be like, wouldn't they all be like, would we have like movie? They'd be like comic books about them and shit. The reason I don't think that would be the case is, is I'm pretty sure Jesus took it off as, you know, he was there, LeBron James.

The franchise wasn't doing good, son. But if the franchise had done well on its own, yeah, those were the stars. Do you understand what I'm saying? Like, those stories are rad about the Archangel and all that, but like they weren't connecting with the people. Right. What about all that? What about all y'all's gods, too, Char?

Like, do they have any kind of presence like that? We have a full, we have a full comic book level of gods with backstories. Yeah. And they're taught to children in comic, literally comic book form. Do Biker games get tattoos of them? Yeah, yeah. I'm like kind of serious. Is that, is there like a, if it's not tattoos, like is, is there like a, yeah, this unknown god, me and

my crew actually follow him because he's like more fucking violent than that pussy shit the rest of the Indians believe in? Well, there's certain, they're like Durgamata who is like the queen of death. And so there are some people who you can, you can decide to like focus all your prayer efforts on one thing. And that happens to be the mercant of death, the person who's like, she, Shivji is like the destroyer and the creator, but you can focus on the destroyer part. so you can focus on certain elements of what a god represents and then in your head make it blow up and make it a thing i've seen people with tattoos and they go full on but then you have like harry krishnas who are just you know just trying to chant and be peaceful so like you have the whole game with it is a little bit more like mythology involved it's always fat white people who do harry christian didn't john lennon get into that or was that just a line in the fucking i am a walrus or whatever song that was there

He got into something. They did. They got into Krishna. They got into like that. I mean, that's the thing. It's a grab bag of options. But is there like subcultures kind of built around it? You know, like there are with the Viking culture in America. Or is that just because America's so broken, we just have to believe in some.

Do you know what I mean? Like, there's like Viking lore biker gangs, but there's also like there's a bar, there's bars. There's a hundred bars that are like Viking-esque in America. Vikings are kind of like pirates or something, right? But part of their whole mythology. White pirates. But part of their old mythology is this pantheon of gods too, is what I'm saying. So that's like also a part.

You know, Thor and Odin and the motherfuckers are literally Marvel characters, right? Like literally. Right. So like I'm saying, so I was asking if like the Christian gods, if that would have happened, if Christianity had fallen off. And I guess I'm wondering what the, I don't know, with the parallel. I don't know shit about Hinduism, too, sure.

I don't know how to reframe the question for y'all. Before we get into Bollywood, because I do want to know about that. I do think that it's important. He calls your church, whatever. It's important that, like, to point out that monotheism is what made Christianity, like, it set it apart. And that may prevent it from getting into that place. Yeah.

And that's the last thing I want to say on, because fuck Christianity. Let's hear more about the aid on people. No, dude. I love Christianity. It's so fun. You would. He's coming back, baby. What were you going to say? Yeah, let's hear yours.

No, I was saying like you've heard the Maharabharath, like the main epic in Hinduism that is a tale of Arjun and Lord, like it's like brothers battling each other at war and the whole thing is about. So sure, assume we don't know anything other than y'all don't eat cows. I assume it's just the cows. Is that what RR is about or no? No. Because that movie is.

That's just two shirts' favorite way to say it. no but like the main there's like these epic epic tales mahabara it's the main one and within that tale it starts on a battlefield the guy's like I'm about to go to war with my brother across the field what do I do what's the right thing so it's like this thing and it's an epically long tale about this god going through this this dilemma so yeah it's no different than Thor or whatever but it's not, I don't think it's turned into the thing that the lore of like folk tales. It's almost like

these are stories that you live by and they're passed down but it doesn't have like, Indian people aren't aggressive people. We're very passive and kind of like settling on. So because of that, it's not, I don't think it amplifies into this like Greek mythology level. I'm sure it does for some people. It could just be kind of what I'm trying to get at,

which is like the difference between a living and a dead religion. Do you know what I mean? Like the way you, describe you're like you live your life by these tales whatever it's like it's a religion right right the other ones like they were religions but except for like a handful of loons or whatever no one believes in those religions anymore but right but the gods the pantheon from the religion has become like pop culture fodder right so like would that happen with the pantheon of hindu gods i bet it would y'all got some pretty much y'all got some wild cool shit it probably would happen

but you can't really do that right now because it's like offensive it's a a religion that people actually live by but if it were to die would it turn into comic book shit in a couple whatever a few generations a thousand years and I bet it probably would yeah you know what it's like it's like using Native Americans for your mascot yeah it's like the Michigan State Spartans well that's okay they're dead right there's no Spartans out here they also were the

slaver ones right I don't know fuck them yeah doesn't matter right we don't give a shit they're white yeah all that yeah but then you're like and these are then we're the you know the chip of was. It's like, well, you can't, come on, they're right there. Yeah. They're still here. Yeah. Also, what they want to say, if you do end up watching the Northman before you go, you might think at certain points like, this is just like Hamlet or the Lion King, which is also just Hamlet, you know, one of the most classic stories ever told.

I did not know, but Hamlet, like Hamlet, Billy Shakespeare, I mean, Billy Shakespeare. Yeah. He based Hamlet off of a Norse folk tale called Amleth. It's literally just the anagram of the name. Amleth. He was the first aggregate. And Amleth, the Northman, that movie is the tale of Amleth adapted. So it is Hamlet, but it's actually the OG Hamlet before William Shakespeare even made Hamlet or whatever. So, I don't know. It's worth watching. You think that's...

Much of metal shit. You think that's like a more valuable skill in the world of the arts? What, adapting shit? Being able to steal and get away with it? Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Like, fucking... A lot of success stories.

Dennis Leary is the, like, the number one example I can think. think of. I mean, Carlos Bincey had a great run before he got, you know, taken down. But he stole a few jokes. But writers, there's a, there's a famous saying that's something like, good artists, borrow great artist steal or something like that where it's like, yeah. And a lot, to a lot of them, writers are like comedians are the ones, because it's different

for us, I guess, because there's a punch line only works once type of thing. Maybe that's why we care more. It is why. Well, with comedians, it's like a cardinal sin. You don't steal. even though in like vaudeville days and stuff that's literally all anybody did everybody did each other's acts everybody stole but most

other art forms it's like they that's all they do is just steal from each other and repurpose it and remake it or whatever because everything's you know been done to a certain extent I guess as long as you repurpose it I mean you know what I mean like there's something really icky when you're like man you just just took

that dude's thing like the Leary thing keeps coming up because it was like he he just took the act yeah he did the act and just did but he did it better And that's part of what makes it so bad. It was like, yeah, you did put in the missing piece. You made it slightly more palatable. Good for you.

I knew that everybody always said that about Larry, but I never, like, investigated that whole situation myself. Did Leary steal from a specific person? Yeah, he stole Bill Hicks. That's what everybody says. Dude, his own friends say it. Yeah, I'm not, like, defending him. I'm just saying also, like, I haven't.

All I'm saying is I have heard that. They were rep by the same people, and Leary was like a joke. guy. You know, set up punchline. He was a comic from the 80s. And Hicks was doing the thing he was doing, but it wasn't getting over. And Lerry started doing everything Hicks was doing, the same mentality, the same I'm an, like I'm an

asshole, but he made it sing-songy. He added the comedian chops to it, which is what it was missing. I mean, everyone who shits on Hicks, there's one thing they always say. It was like, well, it was compelling, but I didn't laugh the whole time. So it's like Lary was like, well, what if I just added seven punchlines

to this guy's whole deal? Because now it sounds weird to us, but like his perspective, Bill Hicks' perspective, had not been done on stage before other than a little bit with Lenny Briss. Yeah. It's about time to get out of here, too, Shar. What are you, yeah, we're having a good time. Thanks for joining this, as always. You got anything you want to let the people know about?

Tell them where to find you. Be in Chicago this weekend at Zanies and then, you know, I'm around. Yeah. Holler if you're in New York. I'll come say hi. Me too. Yeah, I'll be in Austin, then Ohio, and then Lexington, and then Elthware. Beyond that, go to Treycrowder.com. You also pre-order the book around here and over yonder at Treycrouter.com. Yeah, y'all know where all my shit is. I'll be in Atlanta, October 6th and 7th as part of the Laughing Skull Comedy Festival. And then I'm going to be in San Francisco in December. I don't remember which weekend. before we do Zanies, I think.

Maybe the one before that. I'm going to be in San Francisco and December, pretty sure. Oh, cool. I think we came for Zanis. I'm in Arkansas. Anyway, I guess I'll do it. Thank you, too, Sharr.

This is about to be bad, but here we go. Thank you all for listening to the well-read show. We'd love to stick around longer, but we got to go. Tune in next week if you got nothing to do. Thank you, God. Bless you good, night, and skue. That was good. Oh, sorry, I didn't sing with you.

I don't sing with Corey, because there's a lot. of the lay. Yeah, that's all right. My bad. All right. Bye, too. I love you, buddy.