wellRED podcast - #341 - Baby Talk, Street Jokes, & Cultural Blind Spots!

Episode Date: October 11, 2023

*Full disclosure: We briefly talk about the situation going on in The Middle East, but with full knowledge that we will NEVER know what we are talking about with complete certainty. We are stupid comedians and are just hoping for the safety of innocent lives... thanks!* This week the boys are back together talking a little daddy shop, sharing their favorite street jokes, and remarking on their personal cultural blind spots! Get the new book Round Here and Over Yonder where ever you get your books, or at TraeCrowder.com where you can get tickets to see Trae on the road! Corey will be at The Comedy Catch in Chattanooga, Tn Thursday October 19.. tickets at TheComedyCatch.com (yes, he got the date wrong on the episode... go figure lol) Go to DrewMorganComedy.com to catch Drew when he is off baby leave! love yall!

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion, because used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

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it and forgotten. If it wasn't for Rocket Money, I never would have even figured it out. So shout out to them. They help. If you're money dumb like me, Rocket Money can help. So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com slash well read today. That's rocketmoney.com slash well, RED. Rocketmoney.com slash well read. And we thank them for sponsoring this episode of the podcast. They're the... This episode is brought to you by the new book, Round Here and Over Yonder, written by

author's Trey Crowder and Corey Ryan Forrester. That's ya boy. The book is out now. I would like to thank everyone who did the pre-order. but for those of you who were like, you know what, I want to wait and actually go to a bookstore and pick this thing up. Well, you can do that right now. Round here and over yonder, a front porch travel guide written by two progressive hillbillies, parenthetical. Yes, that's a thing. We love long titles, but we love making you laugh even more.

This book is Chock-Fill. Chock-Fill. Chock-full of jokes. We chock-filled it, too. It's got a bunch of jokes in it. It's really, really, really fun. We tried to take the stereotypes of certain regions. talk about what they are, talk about what they got right, talk about what the actual reality is.

Of course, we did it with our own little region here in the South. We went everywhere else in the United States, and for the first time in our lives, we went to the UK. It's Rednecks Abroad. The book is round here and over yonder. Not to brag on us, but I will. It is hilarious. Pick it up now wherever you get books. And, by the way, we narrated the audio version, if that's how you want to digest it.

But there is no wrong way. round here and over yonder wherever you get you books do it at the indie bookstore let's get started then we're rolling okay all right welcome back here we are uh cori's there in georgia me and drew here in the atc studios i just want to apologize ahead of time i'm a little tired i had to get up real early this morning fly back from nashville today so i'm a little tired and you know you guys uh just go easy on me i know you don't understand you can sleep as much as you want to okay you don't have to get up at three in the morning and fly across the country there like that. Is it hard for you guys to be here? You just sleep

in. You're talking about to. Yeah, I can. I sleep with him on my chest this morning actually until like 9.30. Yeah. And that's the best. Every three minutes. It's great. It feels really good, but I can't wait for him to sleep a little better because the first chest nap we took, he was just like really tired. I think it was like

right after we got home. And I was like, this is incredible. This is like I slept so deep. He slept on my chest. It was all like love and very restful and I needed a nap. And then this morning, and we tried it again and all he does is fart, toss, and turn and grunt. Yeah, I don't know how Bain was, but like I've, my two sons were very different in that regard and I've all, ever since Benton was born, I've made the joke.

I've said like, because mine are only 13 months apart, Bishop was still a baby when Benton was born and I've told people like, if my first baby, if my first son had been the type of baby that my second, the type of newborn that my second son was, my second. son might not exist. Right. Because Bishop was like, I mean, I've always, I was saying it at the time, and I've tried to do bits about it and they never worked because you could tell parents are like, no. But at the time with Bishop, I was like, this is easy.

Like, this shit is. I was like, this shit is so easy, dude. I don't understand. Like, why's her mom here? We don't need, everybody's like, you got any help? And I'm like, this is a fucking walking apart. Because Bishop, like, he didn't do nothing but sleep and eat. He was like so chill and so easy.

But Benton, though, was. That child felt like he never spent him. Just cry a lot because he was sick or something? I mean, he did have RSV when he was a newborn, but even after that cleared up, it didn't really get any better for him. Just crying a lot. Like being awake. Just fussy, like you said, tossing and turning it,

just felt like he never was like solidly asleep. Whereas Bishop, you know, I did the thing all the time. I was like, he's still breathing? Because like he was just conked out like permanently, basically, if he wasn't eating. I want to hear more about that. Night and day. Isn't it usually reverse like as far? as the stereotype that the second kid's chiller it's like like and the theory is like well you've got

more money you know what you're doing and you know what you're doing palmer you've probably got nicer stuff you know what I mean but like isn't that the stereotype that it's the reverse I don't know maybe generally I think it's that you don't care about the second one as much that's definitely stereotype but it's also about a little bastard that's definitely stereotype especially when people have a lot of kids like you know they get to four or five that I mean Gaff again had that great bit about it. He was like, and you, you were named after our great-grandfather, your sister was named after, you know, the, whatever, our neighborhood street we grew up on. And then, you know, you get down number six, and it's like, and you were named after a sandwich I had.

Go play with your brother, Rubin, you know. Yeah. But with just two, you know, especially so, I mean, mine are Irish twins, basically. I think mine are, I think mine is a little bit of both, it seems to me. Like he has half a day, I'm talking about 24 hours, half of 24 hours being great, and then half of 24 hours being fussy. But so far we've done an okay job of making sure it's daytime fussiness. And his grandma caused that, and I'm being completely honest. I was a little, not like annoyed, but like, all right, Nancy,

because she had just kind of fucked with him enough, like trying to hold him. Oh, he's hungry. Let me feed him. That she made him fussy and got him off of his slug. sleep schedule the last night she was here and I was like she would fucking come in here and somehow spoil a newborn which should be impossible and I was so frustrated because we got home he was fussy he was off his schedule I'm like Andy he's cluster feeding now she did this he's going to be up every hour and he was fussy took about midnight and then my man woke up one

time took the tip for like 20 minutes and went right back out till 9 in the morning and it was the best night we had. I was like, Nancy did it again, dude. She did it again. So anyway, my point is he seems to be half, like 12 hours of a day is like real fussiness and 12 hours of day is real, real deep sleeping. And well, if that second 12 hours is at nighttime, then, you know, you got it. Yeah, it's been half a night. It's not so bad. We've been lucky. Ever since the bad luck, it's been nothing but luck. There's one thing I would, as far as babies go, piece of advice, as far as I'm concerned, but it may just be my limited experience, but like we were always big believers in uh like you know how people do that like don't wake the baby the baby sleeping

thing uh we never really did that and i felt like it worked out great because we don't know you train them people don't realize i think like if you don't do that if you don't walk on eggshells around them when they're sleeping when they're tiny then they'll just be heavier sleepers and you won't have to worry about that whereas like autumn and thompson you know i know they were the other way or used to be i hope i'm not putting them on blast i think they were somebody we were close with was and like you know it's not a bad thing it makes sense right but their you know their kids wouldn't

sleep through anything they're light sleep yeah because of that so I wouldn't do that if I was you well he wakes up if it gets too quiet because that's the you and him that's hilarious things are too peaceful there's something wrong I get that but I'm a very light sleeper actually

because why would you assume noise is good but it's because you said it's the you and him it's the Nick you in him So his first three days was in that NICU And even when I was going to see him Or like when I brought Andy up You know it was like hey this is

You know is Roscoe still in this corner Then fucking nurses are like What'd you do this weekend, Deborah? Just patting a baby four in the morning But the advantage of that is what you're talking about Dude as long as it's not a bang Nothing bothers him A bang bothers him

Like a pop you know something loud Drop metal whatever, but like the dog barking? Yeah. Did he just stay drooling? He does not care. He likes the noise. So, yeah, we accidentally have done that.

And I think that is good advice. Yeah, when we had Bain, we spent, like, you know, he slept in the bed with us in his little docketot for the first couple weeks or months. Hell, I don't remember how long. It was all a blur. But, like, I watched TV at night, and he just slept right through. And I just never stopped. And the first night, I was like, Amber was like, don't do that.

And I was like, look, if he, is. If it causes him not to sleep, I won't. But let's just give it a go, you know? And he just didn't. And so now, like, yeah, when he's asleep, like something might wake him up, but he'll just go, huh, oh, don't hit. And then just go back to sleep. So I, too, firmly agree with the don't intentionally be quiet

because they'll figure it to fuck out. Our lady who is, I think, called a post-birth dula, I know it sounds hippie, but it's more like old school. You know, it's like Andy, Andy's got that thing going where she's like, Half in the wind talking about the moon and then half like, didn't we quit this in 1740? Yeah, right. But that lady hasn't said nothing about noise, but is real big on light. She's like, don't keep lights in his face late in the night.

Red light's good. Well, you know, I'm about saying, you know, that's like. That's what we've been doing the red light thing. I don't know if that started with babies or how long they've been doing that, but you know, that's like this huge movement right now, basically. Bro. Do people wear the glasses and they, yeah. It helps me.

I sleep better in the room. I've noticed that I sleep better because we've got that red melatonin light. Like, it's for real. I mean, I've always, like, I'll, like, when we're, like, going to go to bed and I'll like, like, if I go to the bathroom, I leave the light off. Like, even if I go there and, you know, sit down or whatever in like in case, I was like, well, you're sitting there in the dark. It's weird.

And I'm like, hey, you can't have lights on when you're about to go sleep, you know, and I was like, shuts off your melatonin production. She's always just, you know, give me the jerk off motion. But now, you know, Andrew Huberman and people are agreeing with me and whatnot. nine. Those guys are like... Did he make his name up? I've always wondered that. Well, I don't know. I might have talked about this on here before, but like, I didn't know anything about him and I heard him on another podcast and he, you know, he's like a legit, legit scientist, Stanford Ph.D. Very smart guy. I'm sure he knows what he's talking about. But, so he's a

scientist, smart dude. His name is Huberman, right? And he was telling his backstory, and I know I've told you this, but he starts talking about he's like, yeah, well, my family is originally from Argentina. And I'm, my ears perk up. I'm like, uh-huh, you know. And he's like, yeah, right. And he's like, yeah, my grandpa moved there, you know, years ago. What'd your grandpa do? Oh, he was a, you know, a scientist. He was a physicist or something like that.

And I'm like, really? It's like, that's interesting. And they didn't like press him on it, of course. And he didn't offer up. Yeah, my papa was a Nazi or nothing. But like, you know, I don't want to do the math. Yeah, I'm not libeling him. I'm not saying that.

But that's, I don't think he can sue you because you call his grandfather. Well, I'm speculating. I'm not saying that his papal's a Nazi. But his papal could sue you. But the thing is, in order to sue you, you have to be A alive, which he's probably not. And B, he didn't have to prove he's not a Nazi. What about Canada inviting that Nazi into their Congress and giving him a stand in an evasion and stuff? Yeah.

I believe it or I learned about this from Andrew Schultz. Some clip of his where he was in Canada doing a show. Yeah. And he was talking about the joke he was doing with something like, it's one thing to be a German Nazi. At least there you can be like, well, look, I was born into it. What am I supposed to do? This is my team. But y'all are just like up here in Canada, no wars.

Let's bring this guy over, see what he has to say. Yeah, so I looked into it. Why'd they do this? So, Cho, and I might get to, this was like two or three weeks ago. I, of course, learned back from Smart Mark. But so I may get some of the details wrong as I want to do. But they got this like World War II veteran and brought him in because he's from Ukraine. right he's ukrainian and they were like bringing in there celebrating how he had like fought the russians

in world war two and immediately as soon as mark said that i was like did they not know which side the russians were on in world war two like that's a very that's a very basic like level of knowledge like yeah like i think and it was the whole canadian congress anyway they brought him in to celebrate him like being hitting real hard at killing russians or whatever because that's you know the order of the day and they gave him like standing ovations and all this shit and then people you know again i don't know how they didn't immediately put together but somebody was like wait but and they looked it up and like yeah he was a knot he was on the night he fought for the access powers and was like an actual nazi and they were giving him his flowers at 102 years old or whatever yeah and then i think they

tried to like i think they then tried to come after him after that they were like and it's like dude for war crimes i don't know just being a nazi you know but he wasn't a nazi was in the ukraine military, right? So just like his government allied with them, I think. Yeah, but I feel like they found out that like he was pretty down. He was pretty down for it all. Yeah. But also, listen, this is what they have paid me to do. I have no choice, but I do like killing Jews, just so everybody knows. Just putting out there out there. Speaking of which, big weekend.

Can we not? Yeah, I know. I know. I don't have to get in. I'd rather not. I mean, you brought it up. I would rather not just because I don't, I've never been. What'd you say? I said he brought it up. I've never been less educated on something. I'll just say that it don't hit. And I hope it don't hit. Seems the situation to me.

You did good, but I thought you were about to go, I've never been less educated on a subject, so, and then just start talking about it. Like we just said, let's not do it. Of course, like, well, for me, I've never known less, so I think we should. I definitely do that when it comes to some things. Like, I'll talk out of my butt on a lot of things,

but the fucking Palestine-Israel thing is not. one of those. You know what I mean? I saw my friend Joe, who is Palestinian, now we're doing it. Who is Palestinian? He said, there's three solutions. A Palestinian state.

What's the final one? Yeah. He said there's three solutions. A Palestinian state. Palestinians get full rights to citizens, so they're not trapped and they're actual citizens. It's not apartheid. Or you kill them all.

Yeah, right. Yeah. And it's like, and his point was like, it looks like we're leaning to the third one. And anyway, it's just It's fucking, it's rough. And obviously the videos of what happened to that music festival sucked. Dude, imagine that. You go to music festivals. How crazy would that be, man?

Crazy. Crazy. And I'm about to say something wild. We weren't supposed to get into it. But if that happened to me, and it was like one of them countries we've been murdering for 30 fucking years, I'm not going to say that I want you to be happy about it. But don't get on the news and be like, how could this happen? We all know how it happened. It's bullshit.

Yeah. It's crazy. We know how it happened. But there's like, I don't know. There's just like, I just don't think. I think something like that is ever defensible. But you're right. No, I had a thing that I think is kind of funny, not about the thing this weekend.

They've been doing this for months. But I told you guys this on, I noticed something recently, like, that kind of cracks me up. It's like, you get on IG reels or whatever, and I've noticed that any time a video involves Jews in any capacity, not Israelis, just any Jewish person. Like you could tell, like I saw one. It was like a 13-year-old Jewish boy. in Florida getting ready for his bar mitzvah that was the video he's American right any time Jews are in the video at all the top comment there'll be like four or five top comments with hundreds of likes that just say free Palestine which like I think is funny because it's like what is this kid in Florida supposed to do about it's like not all just any Jewish anything yeah the kids like I like Drake yeah right exactly it's like he's supposed to pick up the phone and get it done you know if it was like what's your name, Gal Godot or something. You know, sure.

When I was in New York... That was one of the best tweets of all time to what was... They said that Kristen Wigg had been cast to be Gal Godot's villain or Galgado's nemesis. Yeah. And the Wonder Woman movie and the person was like, that's weird. Kristen Wig doesn't look like a Palestinian children's hospital. When I was working in New York, living in New York, Andy worked for that, like, catering company. She was like a manager and I'd work there sometimes and the owner was

New York Jewish and it was like you know it was like $200,000 to rent it out or whatever but every once in a while on an off day he'd give it to some organization usually a religious one almost always Jewish like he'd write it off you know and dude about half of them was just straight up insane people rabbi types like our version of like fucking fire and brimstone baptist The dude like, no, like the dude who smashed, not that, because that's like Gallagher? Goofy? No, what's that guy who's?

Gallagher? Arbery, son? He smashed the hateful. The snake handlers are just like, the world's coming to an end. I'm talking about like, uh, oh, like father, the Greg Locke, the dude in Nashville. Oh, Falwell. Yes, Greg Locke or Jerry Falwell, may he rest in hell. Like that type.

Yeah. Dead bodies. I'm not exaggerating. Screaming for a, screaming for a, screaming in Hebrew or Yiddish or whatever. whatever the fuck it was for an hour with an interpreter. And then like a bunch of rich Jewish New Yorkers would give them like a million fucking dollars. They would literally show pictures of dead Israeli soldiers. Oh my God.

And we're just like, do you want some more hors d'oeuvres, sir? Intent. It was wild. If y'all thought about how it feels like, so that whole thing I said, you know, everybody's saying free Palestine when it's like a Jewish kid or something has nothing to do with it. I feel like that, you know, has some, that feels kind of anti-Semitic to me doing that, right? Like just taking, just a random Jewish person has nothing to do with it and putting that on them. It feels like that. And that is a very, that's like, that's the position of the left in this country, right, free Palestine.

Then on the right, their position is Israel hits. Right. But Jews don't. But they don't. but the Jews don't hit, right? It's like a weird... Everything about it is weird. It's like, you know, opposite day.

Yeah. On both ends of the spectrum, it's an odd dynamic, I feel like. I think I don't believe the same free Palestine as anti-Semitic in almost any context. But... I mean, to like a 12-year-old? You're doing it on a Jewish kid's a little boy's bar mitzvah. It just seems like you're saying,

fuck this person because he's Jewish. Yeah, right. All Jews, you know, need to be... reminded of free Palestine? Yeah, right. I don't think that's necessarily anti-Semitic. I mean, if you do it to a twilight, I'm not saying it's right.

I think anti-Semitism is a different thing, but maybe I'm wrong. I mean, I was going to say something about if people can't, like, talk shit to me because it's like Tennessee trying to ban drag queens or something. But then I was like, yeah, but I would just be like, yeah, I hear you. But it's not my ethnicity or whatever. It's just where I'm from.

I was going to say, oh, but the other thing, I think there's two reasons on the right. One is the other side of brown. Oh, of course. And then the religious side of the right doesn't like Jews, but wants Israel in place because they bring about Armaged. I know. You guys told me that before. That was so wild to me.

Sometimes y'all tell me some shit about how Christians be. Right now they think it's about to be over with this whole thing going on. And are they pumped? Are they excited? Right. They have to think about that. They might have to be. Like if Russia, China gets involved, it could be over.

I mean, that's what's so complicated about the whole thing because, like, they always talk about, like, oh, it's so evil out there. We're living in the end times. And it's like, right. But if you follow your religion to the letter of the law, you wanted this day to eventually come because then the Lord calls all of you to heaven. So, like, it's like, oh, no, we don't want the world to be blowing up. But at the same time, that's literally what God said would happen. So, like, yay. Yeah, but, okay.

y'all think though that at the end and i'm sure there's some for whom this is not true but at the end of the day almost all of them like really deep deep down they don't actually believe that shit or whatever because who hardcore fundamentalist christians and see okay because like they don't you know i'm glad we found a group we can all just openly shit on i wound up they try not to die still or you know what mean, or it's like, like the instinct versus the belief. Like I'm saying, you know, Muslims, though, say what you will. They say what you will. They put their money where their mouth is, you know, but their C-4 where their mouth is.

And a cyanide pill. Yeah, right, all that. They'll do it. And it's like, LaVelle Crawford said, and that bids like, Christians ain't got it like that. He's like, I don't know Jesus like that. So, yeah, that makes me feel like that means that, like, really deep down they don't actually believe that that's true. Well, they always think they're going to happen.

I always think they're going to win. Then just, you know. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's like, no, no, the Jews and the Muslims are supposed to start it. Right. That's like part of it, which is super convenient. It's like, it's a very Christian Western thing. You know, to your point, the Muslim extremists are like, all right, let's get this party started.

And Christian extremists are like, let's get these motherfuckers to kill each other to get the party started. It's like a very pussy in that world. It's more reasonable, but weirdly, but it's definitely. Don't Jews not have an afterlife or not believe in an afterlife or they don't believe in heaven and hell. But there's something? Like the way that we do, but they definitely believe in an afterlife. Okay, because anytime I hear that, I'm always like, well, what's the point, man? Like, I don't, you know, like.

I mean, that's very Jewish of you. Yeah. What's the point? Jews hit for me. Let me just say that. Jews hit for me. Israel very much does not. you can hate me for that, but if you're going to hate me, hate me for that.

I mean, I've always felt and been openly told that I have some Jewish tendency, so, you know, I sympathize with them. That's funny, and you're allowed to say that because Jews love those stereotypes in comedy specifically. But like, what they say that to you when you're like, what, complaining? Yeah, well, that one of them was a fan, that dude in... Probably a Jew. In Jersey. In Jersey, he was like, I don't know, you don't seem like a redneck to me. You seem more like a nebishi Jew, you know.

Was he a Jew, or was he an Italian woman? sounded like that, you know, so I don't know what that means in Jersey. That whole heaven and hell thing with the Jews has always confused me because, like, you know, obviously you shouldn't need a heaven or hell to make you not want to do certain things like murder, rape, theft, but like I'm definitely going to need consequences if I'm not eating ham and cheese together. Or hanging out with any dude in a weird hat reading from a book. That's so true, man. It's like, because it's always, many people have pointed out.

we've talked about before, like the other version, the Christians who say shit, like, you know, without the good book, how would you know not to rape your neighbor's wife to death or whatever? It's like, I don't need a book to know not to do that. That's weird that you do. Like that, we've talked about that. But everybody gets that. But the other end of it is also interesting, Cho, that like, but on the upside, like, you know, if you are going to follow the more stringent rules, you know, no jerking off and no shrimp

or whatever else, nothing on Fridays. I don't know the rule. I don't know the Bible. But like, you follow those rules. You bet you, you, you, then you do want the promise of divine reward. You know what I mean? Right. The threat of divine punishment shouldn't be necessary. But the promise of divine reward is a hundred percent necessary. If you're going to do all that bullshit that they require you do. Like no lobster, bruh? Right. Yeah. I'm going to need to go to heaven for that. I think they have an afterlife. And I also, I know that, like, they have the same prophecy as Christians, they just don't believe Jesus fulfilled it in terms of a savior.

So I also think that perhaps if there is no heaven or other, they're just waiting on. Jesus was like a letdown or like, that's their position on Jesus. He wasn't the one. He didn't get it done. Bit of a bus. He was like Andrew Love. Yeah, right. Show promise, but, you know, didn't have the longevity.

He's LeBron, not Jordan. That's funny. Bryce and Terrists have a great joke about Jesus being Babe Ruth. Yeah. and the Red Sox traded him to the Yankees. Oh, that's right. Yeah, I remember that. That's so funny.

The Jews gave him to the Christians because they didn't think he was good enough. And then the Jews been cursed ever since. Yeah, right. It was a really good joke. I'm glad we didn't talk about it, you know, the whole. I feel like we pivoted into, you know. You're right, we did. Stuff that hits.

We shit on Christians, too. We were fair. Yeah, we all got hype when the Christians came over because we all, like, breed the sigh release of relief. I'm like, all right, well, nobody's going to be mad at nobody, none of our fans are going to be mad about this. next part. So.

You know who don't hit. American Christian. Right. Yeah. Wheelhouse. All right. So moving on from it. To get out of that proverbial and probably literal minefield show.

What, like, anything of note happened at the wedding this weekend? Like, did you get up to anything? Anything funny coming up? You know, our guests a couple weeks ago, W.R. Brown, he just, his daughter got married Saturday. I was doing a corporate event in Tennessee, so I couldn't go. Drew has a new baby. But Corey flew in and went to it, so I'm just wondering if anything went down.

Nothing bad. Well, first off, yeah. So first off, it was at Houdini's Mansion, which I'm actually going to be talking about this week on putting on air. So stay tuned for that. And it was obviously super beautiful. And the greatest thing that happened to me, and I don't know if this would be cool for anybody, but like I was genuinely moved by it and thought like, this is such a cool. moment. Amber

pumped her titty's in Houdini's living room. Like we got to go to Harry Houdini's living room to pump her titty. And that moved you to tears? Did you make that milk disappear? Yeah, that moved you to tears? I did make that milk disappear

because when we went up there, we forgot to bring our drinks and I had a mushroom cap that I wanted to take and I didn't have any drink around me, so I took a sip of a breast milk and watched my fucking mushrooms down. Yeah. Drinking titty. milk at a wedding. Yeah, boy. Yeah, no, it was great, man. There was, you know, Anna is younger than us by about

10 years or so. So it was interesting going to a wedding where, like I haven't been to a lot of weddings recently because most of my friends have already been married and Amber goes to some, but I don't go with her. And so they were younger and I got to see like how I used to behave at weddings, but seeing it now as a 35 year old father, it's like, God damn. how annoying these motherfuckers can be. And there was this one dude. I was sitting there talking to our buddy, Shane, the director. You know, Shane, we met with Earl.

And there was this, this one dude was, and I don't know his name. And it's whatever. He had too much to dream. But he was becoming a problem. Like, he was falling on tables and shit. And he was the time. Like, ceremonies over? This is after?

Yeah. This is the reception. He's fucking drunk as shit. And so we're sitting there. And me and, Shane are talking about something, I don't know. And this, and I'm, you know, I talk with my hands. I'm a very, you know, expressive person.

And I get out of my peripheral vision, this fucking drunk blackout dude is sitting there like mimicking me, like making. And whatever. So that's so funny because like you, you are the type, like, you always think something like that either is or is about to happen to you. Like, you always, like, I think they're making fun of me over there. And it's like, you know, they don't even know where here. You walk in a room. He was right beside me, though. And I just got done saying, this fucking green room stinks.

And Trey will be like, I know right. And then you'll walk in and be like, me. You know, I'm talking about me. Do I stink? I don't hit. I don't hit. It's me. But I know, I believe you in this case.

I'm just saying it's fun. You're like one of the, you're a perfect person for that to happen to because, like, you always think something like that is happening to you or is going to happen to you. But against character, it didn't make me mad because. I was mellowed out on a low dose of mushrooms, I decided then to just fuck with him, right? Because he was the type of drunk that you could say anything to him.

Like, you could convince him of anything. He was, he was blackout drunk. So I turn over and I look at him and I was just like, you're having a good time? And he's like, yeah.

And by the way, everyone had already kind of come up to me and Shane because we were in that area and we're like, hey, we all keep an eye on this guy because, like, we're literally afraid that he might knock over one of Houdini's marble statues.

So, like, I'm sitting there and I turn around, I go, hey, how you doing, buddy? And he's like, he's like, I'm good. I'm good. So, so are you, are you friends with the bride or the groom? Because I don't know who you are. And I go, oh, actually, I'm neither. And I just, I just threw something out there. In no world should this work.

But he was so hammered. I go, actually, I'm neither. I'm security. I'm one of, I met Earl back in Kentucky. I'm a federal marshal because I've been watching a lot of justified. So I just said that. And this motherfucker was like, oh, word, for real? And I was like, yeah, so it's cool.

You know what I mean? And I said, you know what? Why don't you go have a water? I think you need a water. And he's like, oh, I don't want another fucking drink. And I go, you know, I think it would be best for everybody if you had a water. And I just started staring at him. And that motherfucker went and started chugging water.

And he didn't drink the rest of the goddamn night. He went up into the living room to sober up because he thought I was a fucking. And again, no one else on earth would have believed this. I do not look like a federal marshal, but he was so fucking hammered that I scared him. And then me and Shane got to just have our conversation, and it was sweet. Well, you've been a father for a while, but that was the day you became a dad. Yeah. Thank you.

And, dude, it was fun, too, because, like, the mushroom, I was so creative because of the mushrooms or whatever. So, like, I changed my mannerisms. Like, while he was around, I was just, like, I was acting as if I was a federal marshal, and it was super fun, worked out. And, but other than that, you know, just beautiful ceremony. He was the only one that was causing any kind of problems. My Uber driver was neat. I want to hear more about those mannerisms and et cetera. I want to know more.

You had the hat on. Did you have the hat on? Had the hat on. I had the hat on. A hat. Stetson. Yeah. Full Stetson.

Talking about you're a Marshall. Go on. And I had on blue jeans, boots, and a black jacket and a black t-shirt. So, you know, I looked kind of copy for sure. Yeah. So I just like to imagine there's someone on a podcast. too because it's L.A. and it's a, you know, entertainer's daughter's wedding,

who's telling this exact story, but both of them are involved. Yeah, this dude was hammered. He's worried he's going to knock over. And then this other guy just started following him around and saying cop shit to him. His eyes, his fucking, his irises were huge.

I don't know what. He looked like he was on something. I know that Corey didn't have nearly enough for this, but it would also be funny if that guy doesn't exist. Exist, yeah, no, that guy. You know what I've been told the story later in Earl's like that. that didn't happen we saw you talk to yourself shame was worried about you yeah yeah no when i say i took

like doing cop stuff in the in the corner you know what i mean like he's like pulling his you know pulling his uh jacket back and stuff like that corey backed one of those statues into a corner he's like let me like the scene and kenny powers like the pilot and Kenny powers when like he's walking through the hall and you hear all the music but then it cuts from everybody else's perspective and he's just like yeah right Exactly. But it was fun, man. It was beautiful.

Houdini Mansion is great. This is the first weekend that me and Amber have left Bain, and it was an emotional roller coaster. It was one of those things where, like, I was absolutely miserable, except for when we were at the wedding. It was beautiful, and I was very glad that I came, but, like, never have I wanted, neither, never have either one of us wanted to get home fucking fast enough, you know, to see the boy. It's. Does hit. just last week on POA, I asked Joe. It was recently.

I asked him, I was like, you know how people find out your comedian? They say, hey, tell me a joke or do that whole thing. I always, always my default response is like, no, you know, I'm not going to do that, don't work like that, whatever. Every now and then, if I've been drinking or something, it's like, I'll oblige them. I usually just pick a street joke or something. And I asked him last week, I was like, you ever do that, ever give in and do that? and it bombs completely. Like, they give you nothing at all

and how much that don't hit. And I told a story about doing that. That just happened to me again Sunday. No. At Al Gore's house. His house, house. Well, it's his family's house. Like, his main house to think is in Nashville.

Yeah. A compound, I believe, is what they're called when you're out of war. Out where he's from around Carthage out there. And, but anyway, I did comedy there at the end of the night, but earlier in the night, and I wasn't present for any of this. but they had like a cocktail hour and they had like some dudes playing music. I don't know what kind of music.

They looked like Nashville country-looking dudes to me. And I mean, I get the choice if it's like, hey, all these people from elsewhere you're coming to Nashville will have some country music for you. But it also feels weird to have that as background, like a Broadway bar band and doing background music for a cocktail hour for like Hockey Tonk.

So I don't know exactly what kind, but those dudes, when they were done, they were all back in like the area where I was hanging out in, like the, you know, green room equivalent, they were back there, too. And, like, one of those dudes starts tipping me that. He's like, come on, man, let's hear it. Let me hear a little something. Let me see what you're going to do for him out there.

And I was like, no, you know. And I don't know if they'd been drinking. He seemed like kind of drunk, but not sloppy drunk. Or maybe he was just a douchebag, but he just, like, kept going, right? And then I said, I was like, all right, well, I'm going to open by saying that. and I, like, deadpanned, you know, the thing I was going to say. I was like, yeah, this my real accent. It was something like, you know, this shit is like going to Dublin and having a leprechaun

dance a jig for you, right? Like, that's what you guys are getting tonight, you know. And I know that's not great, but I just wanted him to stop. Shut up. But, and he did, but he like, and he didn't say that was terrible, but he just, like, looked at me, like, you know. It sounds like a person who lacks self-awareness. You know what I mean?

I wonder if he was like a little offended because he was dancing a jig too. Like you were like... Oh, I didn't even think about that. But I mean, fucking either way. Yeah. I hate that too. I used to do one of my openers and then the first time it bombed, I just, now I refuse to do anything. You can't make me do it.

I tell people pay me. That's what I start saying that. I'm like, well, you got to pay me. And then you're like, oh, okay. And I mean, no, you got to pay me. And if they laugh at that, I'd be like, that was my first joke. I get to fuck away from me. Nice.

That's a good. So I used to do an opening line. Yeah, remember I used to say I'm the son of a Southern Baptist preacher and a Sunday school teacher. Yeah. You know, that makes me an alcoholic. Right. Well, that's a good because that's like a one-liner I have. Yeah, right.

So was it awkward in the green room for the next like 20 minutes? Well, they weren't perpetual. The green room, first of all, I wasn't a green room. It was a room in the house. It was the slave quarter. It's a room. It's the room where the bathroom was. Yeah.

So people kept like coming in there and he, you know, that, like coming in and out. So he did that and he looked at me weird. And I was like, I don't know what to tell you. I was like, yeah, man. Who knows? You know, I said something like that. And then he just kind of walked off and I didn't see him again. I'd have been so mad.

I was mad. I'd be like, I'd be one of your lips. I know. That's why, you know, that's one of the things like in the shower later thinking about, yeah,

I should have said that. I should have done anything. And I can tell he's like, he wasn't being like a great, he wasn't being like, what the fuck, dude? Would you scared? Like, it wasn't nothing like that.

He was just like, he was like, come on, man, come on, let me hear it. Like, you know, like, I want to hear it. Let me hear it. that type of thing and it's just like, no, but he just wouldn't stop.

So then I did, and it openly didn't hit for him. And then, and of course, also, I'm already convinced that this is going to not go well because it's 20 people at a dinner table and outside, not a comedy environment. So, like, I'm already thinking that. Then that happens. I'm like, Jesus Christ. But I smash for the record. Corey, let's do a little improv.

You're the guy, and I'm Trey, and you try to get me to do the first joke. Oh, God. Hey man, you're the comedian, right? Yeah. Well, hey, man. I mean, I know you got to get up there, but like, you know, give me some of your stuff, dude. Hear me. I want to hear it.

What's your best thing? What? You know, just tell a joke. No, it don't work like that. No. What do you mean? It don't work like that. It literally does work like that.

Like, you open your mouth and you say a joke. All right. This is how I'm going to do it. Okay. This is the first joke then. Oh. So I fucked it up. I mean, that's kind of how I did it.

I fucked it up. I forgot your joke. But the thing I was trying to get to, and I completely blew it, and everyone forgive me, I don't have any sleep, is that you said you deadpanned it? I did. So I imagine that there was, I now remember the joke, that you were like, having a hillbilly come here to Tennessee with this accent. It's like going to Ireland and having a leprechaun dance a jig with no sales. That's the best you got.

I'll tell you what, son, you better be thankful that you are a hero to the gay community because you are not funny at all. Yeah, I mean, that was the vibe. That was pretty much the vibe. Well, what's extra good about that is that was meta because I was not funny at all during that improv scene. I feel like you didn't sell it. I didn't sell it. I'm too tired to deliver my performance. And I sort of did that on purpose, but still got pissed at the outcome.

Why? That's the part I don't get. I don't know. I get not caring enough to sell it. All right. Why get mad when you know you're not selling it? Because I was just like, if you don't care enough to sell it, just don't do it. I guess the reverse of that is if you don't care enough to pretend laugh, don't ask.

That's right. Yes. Yep. The other one, I'm not going to do the whole joking. But again, normally I just pull out a street joke. And I tell them, it's like, this isn't for me. This is a street joke. Because those are like people like that when they say that, that's like what they're expecting.

Yeah, that's what they want. And so that normally always works because I know some pretty good ones. but I did that once and the dude just like just stared at me. Like I finished, he was just like, and I was like, that's it. He was like, all right. You know, I was like, Jesus Christ. What's your favorite street to do? People don't hit.

Usually I do the one. It was actually one of mine. I don't do it anymore. If people know I'm a comedian, I just straight up say no. If they ask me what I do, I lie and say anything else so I don't have to do it. but mine, which also used to bomb regularly, they would say, you know, tell me a joke. And I'll go, hey, it doesn't work like that.

And then finally I'd give in and I'd go, okay. So I'm lactose intolerant and I don't even know how cheese is made, which means I can't process dairy mentally or physically. Ha! Do you do that? Do you go, ha? Yeah, I sell. Do people like that?

Yeah, they like that the most. Yeah, next time you do it, and you go, ha ha yeah or hey oh you know given one of them did you were you like did it make you in your head more yeah i mean i already said that it totally did because i was already because i was already in my head thinking like this ain't going to hit just because of circumstances right but again it did hit because i told you before we started recording it's like you know i was there at the behest of al gore and he introduced me to them and really gassed me up and it's like so you know they were going to laugh like when patterson brought us up at the trucker show it's like you know it's like

Like, God told you this guy was funny. Like anointed, yeah, exactly, right. So, yeah, it ended up hitting. But you asked. What's the space? Like, I need to know how much time you had to sit with that before going on stage and get that laugh. 15, 20 minutes. So not that bad.

Yeah. Because, like, me bombing that little improv exercise, it was my idea, is killing me right now. So I can't imagine what you were going through in that fucking green room. You asked a minute ago, my go-to street joke. I kind of feel like I, it's the one about Little Dirty Johnny and Christmas presents. Yeah. Tell it. I love that joke. Okay.

I definitely have told it on here before. But, yeah, it's like, all right, so little dirty Johnny's parents are becoming very concerned because they cannot get him to stop cussing, right, no matter what. They've tried everything. They've looked up all the shit on the internet, trying punishment, tried rewards, whatever. Nothing seems to work. They finally go to this child psychologist. Like, we're at our wits in.

He won't stop cussing. And the doctor's like, well, Christmas is coming up. So what I would suggest is, you sit him down and you ask him. what he wants Santa Claus to bring him for Christmas and for every time he cusses while giving you the list you replace one item

with a dog turd right all right that's worth a shot psychologist said this yeah yeah yeah well you know so they go home like Johnny Santa Claus coming soon

what do you want for Christmas he's like I want to wake up in the morning roll over next to a brand new fucking steam deck get up you know what steam deck is it don't matter get up walk down the steps see a shiny fucking uh hoverboard sitting at the bottom of the steps underneath the christmas tree brand new xbox series x big as some sweet as some bitch i got walk outside fanciest goddamn bicycle you're

ever seen sitting in the driveway that's what i want from that big fat fuck right they're like all right okay they don't say you know they don't let on they're like all right thanks honey christmas morning comes he wakes up he rolls over into a dog turd you know he walks downstairs on a pile of dog shit, looks over there, there's dog shit underneath the Christmas tree, opens the door, there's dog shit sitting in the driveway. They come up to him and are like, Johnny, honey, so what did you get for Christmas?

He goes, I think I got a goddamn dog, but I can't find the son of a bitch. That used to murder at Salina High School, son. Like the rednecks I went to school with loved that shit. I heard a new one this week that's pretty good. This is a new street joke. what did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? Oh, I got a new one.

I think I might have told Trey, but I'll tell you, Drew, what did the octopus say to the bagpipes? This is great. I'd fuck you if you'd take them pajamas off. Yeah, that's good. Well, I'll do one. one more now that we're doing this. I told this on POA a while back to,

but another one that's one of my go-toes recently because I just love thinking about this one, like the implications of it. So this dude's sitting at his dead end office job he's got and suddenly one day he starts hearing this voice in his head, right? And it's like, quit your job, sell the house, quit your job, sell the house. Murder your wife.

And he's like, and he ignores it for weeks, but it's every day and he finally can't anymore. So he quits his job. He sells the house, and then the voice chimes in, take the money, go to Vegas. Take the money. Go to Vegas. And he's like, well, I mean, I'm in it now. So he gets a plane, takes all the money from selling his house, hundreds of thousands of dollars, whatever, goes to Vegas.

He lands, the voice right on time. Comes back in, go to the Belagio. Go to the Belagio. So he goes to the Belagio. He goes, go to the third roulette table on the right. Third roulette table on the right. He walks over there, and then the voice goes, put it all. on 17 red.

Put it all on 17 red. So he takes every bit of it and puts it on 17 red. The dealer drops the ball in there. It goes around, chich, chich, chich, finally comes to a stop on 22 black. And the voice goes,

fuck. I love that. Yeah, it's hilarious. Again, I love thinking about the implications of it, Like just the, you know, the voice is just like, that's how there is. Dip shit degenerate.

It's like, I don't know. See you later. Going to Milwaukee. You got another mark. That's pretty fucking good. Do y'all have any, uh, I mean, we all do, and I know this is putting you on the spot. I can give you time to think about it, but like cultural blind spots, music or things like that you're aware of.

I ask specifically because today, with me, musically, it pretty much all comes down to what my dad fucked with or not if you're talking about old shit oh the 80s for me and so today i don't know where i heard how i got my head but in my head all day today i've had i've been going in the middle of the night i'm walking in my seat yeah right right that's been stuck in my head but i don't really know that song i don't like so just those lyrics on repeat i didn't even know who that was i looked it up joe it's you know it is right uh yeah it's billy joel yes billy joel and i realized that's like Billy Joel's a big one for you.

Pretty huge blind spot for me is Billy Joel. My dad, my dad, I figured you would. I knew you were going to say that. You just seems like somebody that were hit for you. If he liked John Tesh and didn't like Billy Joel,

I really wouldn't know what to do with that information. Well, um, glass houses by Billy Joel, I consider the best party record. Like, it's such a great, like from top to bottom. Like if you're,

you know, we're in Chickamauga, we do a lot of vinyl parties where it's like, no, we're listening to vinyl and everyone is in rotation. You guys are doing. What a world. Yeah, they played on one of those record players.

It's got like the big, big horn thing on it. You got a crank whatever, yeah. Corazon comes by and spits in it accidentally. Well, it's fun. It's fun because, you know, everyone gets to take a turn and everyone brings their records and you can choose from anybody's. And so you, but when you do that, it's like we're not, there's no skipping songs. We listen to the record front to back.

and then someone else gets to go. So you learn a lot about what people's tastes are. You end up hearing some stuff you'd never heard. And one night, and I'd heard some songs from Glass Houses, but my buddy Chris threw on Glass Houses at the party. And like, it's just like this record was perfectly constructed to, you know, score a really good party. Like, it's fun, it's upbeat.

There's a lot of songs just about partying and stuff. He's a great piano player, wonderful songwriter. I mean, his, the Stranger album, I listened to it so many times when I was in New York, and I consider scenes from an Italian restaurant. I mean, it's one of the more, it's one of my favorite cinematic songs because it's like, I mean, it's like seven minutes long and it tells an entire, you know, movies worth of shit. But yes, dude, I fucking love, love, love, love, Billy Joel. So mine's the 80s in general.

And that album, I looked it up, Corey, came out in 1980. And then I looked up the wall, Pink Floyd. 80s? I feel like for the most part it's a big blind spot. I mean, it's not that I don't know who fucking Billy Joel is, but it's like, I'm not that familiar with his stuff. I got into Billy Idol in the last three or four years because he was great live at Bonner, but like, you know what I mean?

It's like, yeah, some of those songs come on, some of the movies. Some of the movies I watched growing up because they were on TV. They were on USA. But yeah, man, Pink Floyd the Wall was 79. And then like, there's really a game. gap for me musically from right there till the 90s rap and rock stuff

yeah pretty big gap but they are streets were they the 80s I always assumed they were the 70s I think they started in 70s like I always assume they were the 70s I don't know I want my MTV right yeah you know like they were I think their first album was like the late 70s I think or around

maybe mid to late 70s but they definitely were like probably part of what I'm doing hitting in the 80s probably part of what I'm doing is if there's a band in the late 70s through the 80s that I like. My brain's saying, well, that's 70s and I don't know the 80s. But, dude, I don't know anything about 80s pop. I know very little about punk, the early parts of punk. Even though I like some punk now, I know almost nothing about 80s metal.

Like it's, yeah, I just... Quiet riot. Nothing about that. Jackal. Don't even... I literally don't know what that is. I don't know anything about it, but I'm dating a bag of shit Amber back in the day. I needed a shot.

shirt or something. She got me when her stepdad came home and he was like, because that my goddamn jackal shirt? Which just always stuck in my head. Because I didn't even know what it was. And he was like, you know. I like Glenn Danzig, but I think I like the idea of him more than I was involved. You know what I mean? It's still a little bit of a...

I mean, really about think about it other than dire straits. I don't know shit about the talking heads. Talking heads are great. Oh, I love the fucking talk. They got a new documentary coming out. But, but to be fair, about the cars. Cars hit. I believe you, but I got nothing.

Adam Ferrar had a joke about the cars that I remember. Other than Dyer Straits, honestly, and I'm not, like, deep into their catalog, but I do fuck with, like, their lesser-known shit. And making movies, that whole album I fuck with. But other than them really, honestly, I mostly just know, like, the big songs from most of those bands that were around in that time. I don't like. Def-Lap. Yeah, love Def-Lap. I can't name a Def-Lever or something.

Is Ports and Sugar-Rom? Yeah, hell, yeah. That's the only one I have. No, for sure. What? Yeah, it's absolutely death. I know they got a one-arm drummer. Yes.

What has nine arms and sucks, deaf leper? Did y'all see that? I don't agree with that. Did you all see that clip I showed the other day of the lead singer of Warrant talking about Cherry Pie? Yes. Dude, for those of you that don't look it up, like, apparently, like, that song, which was their biggest hit, is the bane of this motherfucker's existence.

Like, he hates it so much because, like, he had a completely different. you know, artistic dream for that album. And then they, like, made him put cherry pie on it. And, like, he talks about it like a man talks about their son who, like, went into graphic design. You know what I mean? So you said he had a whole different artistic vision for it. I know I've told you all this, but I don't think I've mentioned it on here.

That song, uh, she's a maniac, maniac on the floor. Right. That song. First of all. That's Michael Simbello. Michael Simbello. If you don't know, if you're just listening and you don't. know what Michael Simbello like looks like or anything you should look it up there's a great

live version of that song on YouTube there is so much 80s shit going on in this video it's unreal it's unreal dude like I can't even describe it it's like truly something to behold but he looks like a lumber jack right yeah but like a sassy cokey 80s lumberjack a gay lumberjack but that's redundant isn't it a gumber jack yeah redundant that's funny aren't they wasn't that a thing and I'm not saying they actually like they're up there in the four They're fucking each other's butts. Like just they say the Navy's gay. Like prison.

I think Lumberjacks was another one that they said we're all gay. I believe you're just thinking about the village people. Yeah, well, either way. Minors in Africa. There was a whole study on that. That dude, Michael Sembello. Okay. His original vision for maniac, the song's called Maniac, it was, the lyrics were like,

he's a maniac, maniac, that's for sure. He'll kill you and nail your cat to the door. they were all like violent murder lyrics and he brought it in and they were like well we love it but what if instead of all that it was like fun you know yeah around about like dancing or whatever

he's like it is fun and yeah and then he was like whatever I guess and you know it's like it's a good change it's a good check but it's just funny like listening that song and knowing his original vision for it was this like brutal murder jam Warren Zivani. Yeah, for sure. I just looked up

I mean, Warren Zavon, dude. He's awesome. Until he's in the fucking Hall of Fame, the Hall of Fame don't count. Yeah, that's ridiculous. I think about lawyers.

It would almost piss me off now since he's been dead. You know what I mean? It's like Kenny Stableer got put in the Hall of Fame after he died. Lawyers gun and money should be a movie. Great one.

I looked up Iggy Pop because I thought maybe Iggy Pop was the 80s, but the main songs I like were like late 70s. It's just, and it's every time, Every time I'm like, oh, I like this from the 80s. Sometimes there's like some Bowie, you know,

but it's like I always associate him with the 70s. Bro, what about, and I'm not saying I'm like a huge fan or nothing, but like as far as hitting in the 80s, fucking Kenny Loggins, right? Right. He had like a huge fan. He had like five or six songs in a row that were four movies where the movie was huge, the song was huge. Yeah.

He was like the guy for, you know, He did all the footloose and dangers on. And they were all like year after year too, like through the whole 80s. He was just a top gun. Absolutely smashing. Yeah. Kenny Loggins, that's definitely a big, like I know him from movies and that's the only reason. It's my 80s music, bro.

I don't know. Did you just mean cultural blind spots in music? No, it could be anything. It could be anything. Because yours was like an old action movies, wasn't it? Yes. And I'm rectifying it, which honestly like it kind of hits for me that I'm getting to experience all these things new, but like my

cultural blind spot is like 80s and 90s, action movies, or basically any movie that wasn't a comedy, because when I was a kid, I was so infatuated with comedy that like, I I mean, dude, I mean, there was movies that were like, you know, obviously Tombstone was my shit.

Like anything that my dad showed me, I love, but like, when it came time for me to choose, like when we went to Blockbuster, it was like, what's the new comedy, does Jim Carrey have a new movie? Does Chris Farrell, you know what I mean? And I just like, I thought everything had to be funny. But now, like, bro, I got to watch as an adult for the first time, true lies.

And fuck me. I love that movie. It's great. And it's awesome, man. So, like, I'm actually fine with this because now I'm getting to, like, I have so many new movies that aren't new to anybody else. So my move was to do action films because I thought it was the best way to sneak tities into my house. Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense.

It's a good. man used to be so much more gratuitous. You just had to have some tities in a movie where it didn't get it. Well, they were more gratuitous in the movie because they were less gratuitous in life. Like there's... Right. Now there's too many tities. It doesn't even change your film.

Like, I think a demolition man, Slice Stallone, goes to use a phone, a camera phone. First of all, like, that's why, you know, we just got FaceTime now. I watched that for the first time the other day. That was this big futuristic thing. It's a phone where you can see them. So he goes... And he's a caveman from the 90s or whatever. He don't know this stuff.

He's been frozen the whole time. So he's trying to figure out I use his phone, and he accidentally calls a woman whose titties are out. Yeah. Like, and she answers the phone. She answers the camera phone. And then she's like, ah, there are there tities out? And then he's just like, sorry, you know. And then he calls who he meant to call.

But they just do shit like that all the time. I remember Commando, Arnold Schwarzenegger movie, he just bust through a wall like you do. And there's titties there. And then he keeps going bust through the next wall or whatever. I wanted to say about Arnold. Okay. Titties had to have to make sense now. but back then they didn't have to make sense.

Y'all know in the South, like surely y'all met rednecks and stuff, who pronounce Arnold Schwarzenegger's name. Yes. And the N-word instead. Yeah. Yeah, like, I don't even want to say who, because he hits for me real hard, but just somebody I didn't expect, like a,

he was an old Saturday Night Live writer. I heard on a podcast say that, and it really took me about it. I know who it is because I listened to a fly on the wall. Oh, really? Just like sort of mispronounce it, or he was trying to hit. No, no, no, not trying to hit. Like, this is genuinely the way he says,

his name. And I've encountered that before being from the South, but not this guy. This guy's like brilliant. He's great. He's not at all Southern. I just didn't. I didn't know that other people did that. I think America did it for a few years. It really caught me off cars. Yeah. Yeah. So do you guys remember the Tommy Lee Jones movie blown away? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Who else is in that? I want to say it's one of those, it's like the guy who's president. Jeff Bridges? Is it? I think it is Jeff Bridges. I was going to say, who's the guy who's president during Independence Day? Bill Pullman.

I could remember if it was Pullman or Bridges. I think it's Bridges. There was another movie out around the same time. I have no idea how this is possible legally called Blown Away, starring Alicia Silverstone. About blow jobs? It was also about bombs, but it was basically Skinnamack style. Like there were like five sex scenes in it. There was titties.

But Alicia Silverstone? Yeah. Dude. I rented that so many times because my parents thought that I was getting the Tommy Lee Jones masterpiece. Like I had, like my mom and dad were like, this kid loves Tommy Lee Jones.

My dad was like, hell yeah, he does. Under siege, tities pop out of a cake. Yes, they do. There were so many tities in the bootleg blown away.

How was that legal? They came out within like a year or two of each other. Speaking of titty, I don't know. I rewit, I found out the other day that Amber had never seen Starship Troopers.

Oh, God. Dude. So I got to, and I hadn't seen it in a long time. So many titties. When I was, kid I loved that movie, but I didn't know how brilliant it is. I didn't know why. So good. Yes. Dude, Paul Verhoeven is like that, dude. I don't think people, people did not,

people did not, I know his movie's hit back then, but like, I don't think people appreciated him for what he was at the time. Ahead of his time, dude. That dude is a masterclass satirist and a genuinely subversive genius as far as I'm concerned. But there's so many Towers is better every time I watch it, dude. It's great. And there's so many tities. So many. I had forgotten because I think when I was a kid, we would watch the version that came on TV, you know. But yeah, like everybody, men and women are all showering together. There's a bunch of titties. And like, you know, it's famous for like, it's famous for being like the most, the best B movie ever or whatever.

But let me tell you something that I noticed. I'm not kidding. The CGI in Starship Troopers looks literally holds up better than the Star Wars prequels. And I'm not saying that to be funny. It's like I used to even say when I was younger, I'd be like it's the greatest B movie ever made. But it actually was like a big, it actually was a big budget studio movie.

He made it that way on purpose. You know what I mean? Like that. Yeah. Because it's like a propaganda film or whatever. And he cast these wooden actors and stuff. But that shower scene, a lot of the actors were uncomfortable with that. And so Paul Verhoeven was like, well, I'll pull my dick out.

Does that make it hit any harder? And they were like, yeah, okay, sure. Back before they outlawed. the hits. Yeah, he directed it butt-necked in the shower with them behind the camera to, you know, do like a... The thing would make it better. These ladies, if I get my... Well, he's like, you know, his thing was like, I'm, you know, but he's like fucking dutch or whatever. You know how they be, but yeah. It's just nudity. It's just nudity. They don't care, but he was like, you know, well, I'm not asking you do anything I wouldn't do. But, uh... Remember the three titties and Blade Runner? That was a total recall. Total recall. You're right. You're right.

Also Paul Verhoeven. Yeah. So good. Did a little research on blown away, because you should... should. That was released in 1992 as direct-to-video is direct-to-video Nicole Egert. Oh, who looks like Alicia Silverstone. Yeah, and the Corrie's. And it...

The Indy-B has under sex and nudity severe rating. Yeah. That's a high. It came out two years before. Severe burns on my dick that day, too. Before Bowen Away.

How many years before? Two years. See, that feels crazy to me legally. Right. Yeah, I don't know how the titles work. Direct-to-video. So, yeah.

It's almost like you guys didn't hit hard enough, so we're allowed to have the title now. Yeah, I mean. I'm trying to think. I know there's been other movies. It's like the idea of like, no, we own this in the video world for at least a decade. There's at least six other things called Blown Away as well. Right. I just would imagine they'd been spaced out by like 10 years.

But I guess the only people who would have a lawsuit is the first shitty movie. There's another one in 1990. Why would they argue? 1980? 80? There's one in 1990, sir. Lori Anderson. 90, 92, and 94 every two years. I think we should watch every blown away and rank them. Okay. I know my ranking, but we'll do that.

Maybe the studios own them and they don't care. My other theory is the people who own the rights are like, why would we be mad because we're going to get all these accidental sales? Yeah, yeah, exactly. Well, I think we should end on that note. Yeah. So I'm a Lord, I'm about to be in Washington State tonight. If this comes out Wednesday, tonight will be in Spokane, then the rest of the weekend.

I'll be in Tacoma. The rest of the weekend I'll be in Tacoma. Next week I'm in the Carolinas, Charleston and Durham, and then Boston, and then San Francisco coming up, Phoenix, Chicago. It'll be fun. Go to tracrouter.com. You can also get our book around here and over yonder. There's a link at Treycrouter.com. Or you can just get it at a bookstore.

It's for you or whatever. But check it out. If you're looking for that book, Tray and Corey are on the cover. Yeah. If you're trying to find it. Yeah, again. So, well, you're busy with kids. I have some.

All I can think about is how bad I bombed as you. It's like all I can think about. I'm going to be in Atlanta filming a thing at the Laughing Skull on October 23rd. If you were supposed to see me in Atlanta last weekend, I think if you listen, you know why I didn't make it. I'm sorry for that. But I'll be at Laughing Skull, October 23rd. I'll be in San Luis Obispo in November. I'll be in San Francisco in December.

This Thursday, October 19th, I will be in Chattanooga at the Comedy Catch, headlining the Lookout Comedy Festival. So holler at that. And then just announced tickets December 28th. I'm in Asheville at the Grey Eagle. And opening up for me is Friends of the Show, Good Cop, Rad Cop. That's going to be a fucking fun one. So link in description, all that.

And if I may, thank you all for listening to The Well Red Show. We love to stick around longer, but we got to go. A tune in next week if you got nothing to do. Thank you, God bless you. Good night and skew. Fart. This episode is brought to you by the new book, Round Here and Over Yonder, written by author's Trey Crowder and Corey Ryan Forrester.

That's your boy. The book is out now. I would like to thank everyone who did the pre-order, but for those of you who were like, you know what, I want away and actually go to a bookstore and pick this thing up. Well, you can do that right now. Round here and over yonder, a front porch travel guide written by two progressive hillbillies, parenthetical. Yes, that's a thing.

We love long titles, but we love making you laugh even more. This book is Chock-Fill. Chocked-Fill. Chock-full of jokes. We chock-filled it, too. It's got a bunch of jokes in it. It's really, really, really fun. We tried to take the stereotypes of certain regions, talk about what they are,

talk about what they got right, talk about what the actual reality is. Of course, we did it with our own little region here in the South. We went everywhere else in the United States, and for the first time in our lives, we went to the UK. It's Rednecks Abroad. The book is round here and over yonder. Not to brag on us, but I will. It is hilarious.

Pick it up now, wherever you get books. and by the way, we narrated the audio version, if that's how you want to digest it. But there is no wrong way. Round here and over yonder, wherever you get you books, do it at an indie bookstore. Hell Amazon, though.