wellRED podcast - #368 - WE LANDED ON THE MOON….right?

Episode Date: November 29, 2023

This week the boys talk about doctors, and how much drinking is actually “heavy drinking” plus some conspiracy theory talk and much more! Come see us in Nashville at Zanies December 14-16… tickets to that and all of Trae’s other shows at TraeCrowder.com Go to DrewMorganComedy.com to check out where Drew is gonna be! Listen to all the podcasts in the Skeewniverse! Puttin On Airs, Gravy Baby, Weekly Skeews!Go to BonusCorey.com to support all of Corey’s silly artistic endeavors such as Audio Dramas and essays and what not! It’s a lot of fun!

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion, because used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie. I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now. Skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people. People across the ske universe, I should say.

Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year? Do you even know? Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery? Getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low main? Because that's a thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better.

And it's called Rocket. money. Rocket money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket money shows all your expenses in one place, including subscriptions you already forgot about. If you see a subscription, you don't want any more, Rocket Money will help you cancel it. Their dashboard lays out your whole financial picture, including the due dates for all your bills and the pay days. In a way that's easier for you to digest, you can even automatically create custom budgets based on your past spending.

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practicing any Spanish for, you know, pertinent two years now or something like that. Also, a fun one I'd said it before, but I had a, I got an app, lovely little app where you could, you know, put your friends' faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got, I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies, you know, those weren't a little like the cue ball looking twin fellas. Yeah. So that was that in response to? What was that reply I give for just when I did something stupid. Something fat and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first, but then I quit using it and was still paying for

it and forgotten. If it wasn't for Rocket Money, I never would have even figured it out. So shout out to them. They help. If you're money dumb like me, Rocket Money can help. So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com slash well read today. That's rocketmoney.com slash well, RED. Rocketmoney.com slash well read. And we thank them for sponsoring this episode of the podcast. They're the liberal rednecks.

They like cornbread, but sex. They care way too much, but don't give a fun. They're the liberal rednecks that makes some people upset. They got three big old dicks that you can suck. All right, here we are, everybody. Welcome back. Well, Red Nation, how you doing? We're all here in the flood.

Well, I was not in the flesh. He's Summers and his compound drinking a twisted tea. How about that? That's right. Do you often partake in the twisted teas? Only when we're doing podcasts. Like, we do POA. I'll have one.

I feel like it fits the theme. It's a tea, but it's. It's trash, you know. And today, my reasoning is because I got sick. I've been sick so much the past couple months that at this point, I'm like, well, you can't take time off to rest yourself because you already did that and you have work to do and shit. So I've been having to just kind of like get myself buzzed up to like just get through it, you know?

Sure. We've all been there. Let's not explore that at all. Yeah, right. Yeah. Just need a couple drinks just to do, you know, anything, just to get by. Yeah. You know, it gets to go to sleep.

You got to have six, seven, you know? Yeah. These doctors want you to have four or five a week. Yeah. That's not even... I do feel like that, like, that's just totally out of bounds, right? The doctor's suggestion for, like... You can tell you what I really think?

I think alcohol is poison and it's super bad for you. Yeah. But you just get used to it. Yeah, I agree with all that. But like, culturally, they have to know. I mean, I guess they don't... I guess it's not their job to give a shit. Think about obesity.

I guess it's not their job to care. Their job is to just tell you straight. But I don't believe that. that. Like, they're, they're, like, I feel like in my 20s, I, you know, drank, drank like a fish. Yeah. Yeah. It wasn't hitting, you know, at all. Like, it was way too much. And so I feel like ever since I got my shit together, see, I'm doing air quotes like I'm talking to my doctor right now, because, like, I feel like I have got my shit together. I'll go. You be lying to your doctor about it? No, not anymore. Used to. Yeah. But like, but I'm saying now I feel like,

I only, I don't ever drink when I'm just at home, nothing going on. If I, I've got something fun to do or whatever. I'll have some, but I rarely ever get drunk anymore. But if you ask me, you know, I drink on the road still. I'm still not getting hammered, but on the road, I'm on the road almost every week. So when I have to fill out the little chart, how many drinks per week? Also, I still maintain something of a tolerance. So anytime I drink, it's like considered binge drinking, even though I don't get drunk because I have five or six.

And it's like, that's too much in one time. And I do that twice a week, so it's 12 drinks a week. And they're like, oh, that's way too much. and I'm like, that just can't be. They don't have enough boxes on that thing that you check off because I was having to do it the other day at the dermatologist. And like, here's the thing. For the most part, I genuinely do not drink anymore, right? I don't.

But if I'm having a drink, I'll have a good time. But the list says this. How many drinks do you have per week? It always goes per week. One, right? And then the next one is five or more. And then the next one is not at all. And I'm like, I'm literally none of those.

Like, can you not give me a box that says, usually every two months I'll kind of get on one and then I don't much anymore, you know? Yeah, can you not give me a box that makes me feel better about alcoholism? I think that, I think maybe you got a horse doctor along with the go with your horse bank. For people don't know what I'm talking about. It's the lore that Corey lives in a town where the horses run everything. Yeah.

So, or maybe just like things have changed because it sounds like they do need to give you another box according to this is the CDC which uh you know dr fouchy we don't trust him or we do or whatever all right yeah i don't know either we do

ben's drinking is defined we the collective america i don't trust any of them because they went to yale and i think they're all in some kind of weird cult ben's drinking is defined as a skull and bones yep alcohol consumption that brings your bac to point oh eight or more so that varies by person right now they're being a little more honest than they were when we were in college right i think point

Oh, eight is fucking nothing too. That may be fair, but they're already... Sure. I mean, I can. I do a great job. Sure. This pattern of drinking usually corresponds to five or more drinks on a single occasion for men or four for women. What do you mean by heavy drinking? This is what I think is different. For men, heavy drinking is typically defined as 15 drinks or more per week.

I bet if we pushed a doctor on that and they're like, look, you're under 40. maybe under 50, you're in relatively good shape. Really what we're saying is if you drink seven drinks one night and seven drinks the next night, you're binge drinking. If you drink seven drinks on a Sunday, wait a full six days and drink seven drinks on a Saturday. All right. Okay, but see, all right. It's seven days, but, you know, we had to say seven days. It's really more like foe.

Using me, just as a real-life example here, so let's say I've got a three-day weekend, right? Friday, Saturday, Sunday, or Thursday, Friday, Saturday. And like I said, if I have, it's not always fine, but also like, you know, I'll order a double to start with. Well, that's two. That don't seem fair to me either, you know. You can bid it in a regular vessel. That's one drink. Yeah.

That's how it should be. Well, anyway. If it's decorative, you know, like a Route 44 style. I get mine in a fish bowl. That's fine. All right. You're off the chart already. So, but if I have, like, I have two drinks, like, one when I get there, one as I'm going up, and then I'll, then I have two beers during the meet and greet.

or whatever. So is that two doubles and two beers? Usually, yeah. So that's six. You're been drinking according to this. And I do that, if I do that every night I have a show. Yeah. Right.

Well, now I'm a heavy drinker. And I just, and I don't, but I, you know, I travel a lot. Yeah. But I don't even, I don't, that's not, because I'm such an experienced drinker, doing that, again, this is over the course of hours, too. This is over the course of hours. So I'm not, I'm not ever, like, drunk. I'm buzzed, but not drunk off that amount. And then.

You should change that part. to me. You're getting the same amount of poison as somebody who's ripped and you're not even ripped. Yeah, but I don't want to be ripped when I'm talking to people. Lord knows what I'll say. You want to be buzzed. Yeah. Take the edge off. I think it's fair to call that heavy drinking. I do, I do similar stuff, sometimes more, sometimes less. You're more consistent, I feel like to me. That just don't hit for me. I don't like that. Here's where I'm at. Because, like, you know, I just don't. That is hard on you. Sure. Yeah. I mean, that's how they have to define. it as doctors, they're not, you know, the president of the frat.

Then I go home, then I go or go to the hotel. Yeah. Stop drinking entirely as soon as I leave. Get to the hotel. Now you do. I get a gatorade or two. Yes, now I do. I'll get a gator eight or two.

Drink it, mixing it with ice water, step for another four hours or more. Go to bed at like three in the morning, totally sober, wake up, no hangover the next day at all. Mm-hmm. And it's like, I just feel like I'm, you know, doing it. If you're not hungover, you didn't drink. You know? Like, relatively. speaking. You can't say that, Corey, because a lot of people don't get hung over because they're

pickled. Yeah, okay, those people don't count, but I mean, like, Trey be getting hung over, you be getting hung over. I'll be getting, here's where I'm at. I don't think what you're doing is problematic. This is real quick. I don't think what you're describing is, like, a problem, but I do understand why they're defining that as heavy drinking, because I think they're not looking at it as it's necessarily on your life, which is how you're looking at it. Yes. You're like, I'm not hungover. Right. I'm not, like, miserable. I can go home and not drink for two weeks if I'm off the road. And they're going, no, but simply what you're asking your liver to do, I need to define that as heavy drinking. Yeah, don't hit.

Your thing is the liver more than anything else. What box should I check? I literally didn't drink for basically four weeks and then drank an entire bottle of whiskey on Thanksgiving. What box do I fucking check when I go to the goddamn doctor? I think there's a specific type of alcoholic. I can't remember what it's called. Situational alcoholic, opportunistic alcoholic? That's me. That's me.

A whole bottle of whiskey? It wasn't a big one. It wasn't like a handle. Oh, a pint. Oh, wait. A 750 mill? Yeah. Is that a fifth? That's a fifth. A fifth. A fifth of a gallon.

Okay, I know. But like, first off, it was from one in the afternoon until 11 at night. You know what I mean? And also, not a handle. It's crazy to me that you can do that after being off for a month and just like still text me, which you were doing. talking mad shit about how you were the king. Well, no, they were telling me that I was the king. Yeah. But you told us.

I agreed with them. Yeah. Well, yeah, I'm a happy drunk. But it's just crazy to me that you can drink a bottle of whiskey and then just like be. Throughout the whole day. You know what I mean? Yeah, I do know what you mean. Do you know what I mean?

That is crazy to me. Oh, no. I didn't think that would be. Well, maybe to you, but like you got heart problems and stuff. and that ain't your fault. I don't mean for me personally. Trey, can you drink a bottle of whiskey in a day and then just like text people? I don't have the longevity to even drink for that amount of time period anymore.

Partially because of the whiskey wearing down on you. Yeah, right. Like I just get to a point where I feel real bad and not in a, not in like a I'm too drunk way even just like. Oh, boy. I guess I'm too drunk, but I feel terrible and want to stop. Right. So I do stop. That's part of what I'm saying.

Well, dude, by the end of the day, because may I remind you, this is on thanks. My only saving grace was that we didn't have to go to Amber's other side of the family like we normally do. So I only had the one Thanksgiving dinner. But like when the Jim Beam and all that finally met, boy, you've never, you've never felt worse. Jim Beam? But yeah, I could text. Yeah. That's the nicest shit they got in Webster City, Iowa.

Now hang on. You've just reminded me of something, though. You said you went like four weeks without drinking a. all and then you had this escapade in Iowa on Thanksgiving. You just said, you're like, when I got to that certain point in night, you can't imagine ever feeling worse. That triggered for me a memory. The night you drove to Iowa, or Amber drove to Iowa at three in the morning, that was last

Monday night, Tuesday morning, Monday night, Tuesday morning, 3 a.m. Monday night, about 11 or 12, you were texting us talking about how you'd been drinking and had to get up in three hours to drive to Iowa, and you were like, you can't imagine a human being feeling any worse. May it please the court? That's fucking exhibit A right there. That was work drinking though. That was work drinking.

So you don't count work drinking when you talk to the doctor, huh? Well, then hell, I don't drink at all. No. But also, that was a one-off thing. I haven't been drunk in years. Listen. Work drinks don't count. This was an isolated incident.

So what had happened was the week. So when we go to Iowa, I try my best to get not only caught up on all my work, but get like a full week ahead so that when I get there, I can just chill, right? Well, a week before when I was wanting to do my get ahead, I was like deathly ill. And so now it comes to the time where in the span of like two days that I've got to not only catch up,

but also get a week's worth of shit done. So I popped a couple fucking Adderalls so I could get it going. And then you know at the end of the night when you're still churning on the Adderall, you're like, okay, I've got to come down a little bit. So I only had a couple drinks just to level out the Adderall. So it wasn't like I was getting slosh watching the game.

I had like, I don't know, fucking four to five Celsius, which is like one drink, in my opinion. And then it was really the no sleep that made me feel bad. No. No red flags in this comes. You know those. Like I thought you're like a counselor or something, you know. like a serious person's response to his anecdotes. Well, an unsurious person's response to his anecdote is you're like a Mitsubishi eclipse as a person.

Okay. But again, sincerely, for the most part, for the most part, I do not hardly ever drink. And every single day I walk like at least seven to eight miles. I've been eating very, very heart healthy. Like these were just fucking isolated incidences. Every now and then it will happen. Do you feel judged? I mean, I know I called you in Mizumichia.

It was just a few isolated incidences. Back to back to back. I walk every day. I walk. Say I don't. No one's getting on to you. No one is getting onto you. What Trey was simply pointing out was you said, I haven't drank in a month.

And he was like, yeah, I think you have. I know you're not getting on to me. What I'm asking is what fucking box do I check? Alcohol. Drunk. Yeah, you're drunk. Drunk. Okay.

You check the drip box. Also, I want to know this from both of you because y'all have trash pallets. It is known. Yeah. I can't, like, have you always like that? Those teas, to me, it's not the, the tea tastes all the,

is that peach? It's peach. It's very good. To me, it tastes like the cheap fake peach shit. Like, now look, you make some tea? I'm not disagreeing with you. I'm for it. Okay, okay.

I was going to say, you make some tea, pour some vodka in that. that. What a drink. What a drink. A homemade ice pick. Ice pick. Love an Arnold Palmer. But those things,

like other than like a Mad Dog 2020, I can't think of anything I'd want to have less. Crawd Daddy's the bar I worked at in college. They had dollar ice picks on Thursday nights. I think it was. Yeah, food did hit. But like, isn't that wild? Yeah.

A dollar ice picks. And also I remember. Order beers at Cotton High Jones? I remember when Firefly. came out. Do you all remember Firefly? Yes. That was the sweet tea flavored vodka. Oh, yes. And this was back when like, the precursor to Fireball and Screwball. This was back when like that type of thing was novel in my opinion. Like Stolley had a vanilla vodka and you could get

like coconut rum and stuff, but it wasn't like it is now. I think a law changed or something. Like, you know, putting flavors in it? Yeah, right. Because yeah, that's for kids or something. But then they decided I hell let the kids get drunk. You might be on to something. Anyway, Firefly came out and that was a huge hit. Two, but actually this is going to hurt not hurt chose feelings but i'm actually with you large a lot of times if we're together we get like white claws i'd rather just have regular white claws but he likes the white claw tees which is fine with me because i'm not picky but i uh i agree the like decarbonated uh are twisted teeth carbonated no they're not and i like that well that hits i like bad i have

yeah well that's my thing is that like i don't really like to drink a lot of carbonated stuff when I'm either performing or doing a podcast because I'd be burping and it's like I burped as you said that. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm like, dude, I have like, I'm very susceptible to anything that causes a lot of gas. Like, if I eat a couple cucumbers before I came on here, I'd be burping and my stomach

would be huge. It would be a mess. So like, anytime I can get something not carbonated, but also in this situation, I don't want to drink straight whiskey because I ain't trying to get fucked up. So like, that's a perfect performance. enhancing, because I only bought one from the gas station. I don't have any more in my house. I just got that one.

As a matter of fact, it's done, and I'm fucking shones in real bad. Do you think it's possible that by the time we have our show at Zanis, that is December 14th through 16th? You can go to tradecrouter.com or well-readcom for the tickets.

The late shows are wide open right now. Do you think it's possible by that weekend, which is I think in three weeks or so. It is. Yep. That you can look anything like the picture from that same weekend two years ago, maybe three when D. Can I? Oh, yeah.

Dude, last week, I actually, I took a picture and forgot to send it to y'all because I thought of that picture. Because I was sick, and when I'm sick, I retain water like so fucking. Yeah, I'm going to send it to Aaron real quick, yeah. Yeah. The fact that you can get this so quickly is psychologically, probably. problem out. I have a, I know, I have a, I have a folder full of just, he has a folder for just fat pictures of me. Yes, he does. Is it all your friends? Like, is my corn dog? I've got your, I have your corn dog picture. In that folder or a separate one? No, it actually, it is that folder.

Separate. No, it's not. It is that folder. So you have a folder that it's 10 pictures of Corey and one of me looking fat. Uh, yeah, but also a few other things. It's mostly pictures of Cho looking fat, but there are other things in there. But let me tell you how easy it would be for me to look like that, Drew. Yeah. Yeah. I went to high school with. Three weeks ago, three weeks ago, I had been eating really good and I'd been walking. I've been working out. I could see my abs again and I was like really proud of myself. Like the top ones, not all of them, the top ones.

Sure. And what? Drew's face is why I cracked up. Drew's face when you said that. Yeah, it's fun. It was just the top ones. But what I'm saying is like, Like, I didn't have a gut at all. Like, everything was looking good. Then I got sick, and I swear to God, within a matter of three to four days, I physically looked exactly like that picture. Like, that's how much water I can retain.

So, yes, it's very possible that at our Christmas shows at Zanis, December 14th through 16th, go to well-read comedy.com or traycrouter.com to get those. I could easily look like that. And I still have that jab. God damn it. Thank you, Aaron. God, damn it. There you go.

All right. So you could look like that. This is, it was a hell of a night. Now, my face won't look like that. Could you also, your cheeks are pushing your glasses away. I know. Now, could you, in the three weeks, do the opposite?

Is that enough time for you to get, you know, in close to the best shape? If this is close to the worst shape of your life, could you in three weeks also get close to the best shape of your life? Could I get best shape? Now, I'd have to, like, I've been kind of, out of the gym consistently for a while just because of the kid. I mean, like, if I actually dedicated myself for three weeks, yes, but I won't. You know what I mean?

Like, I'm not going to do that. Will you do the other? Because I feel like one of the others is what I'm going to for. No, I can't do the other. I can't do the other because I'm right now at the perfect balance of weight. I'm at the perfect balance of weight where like it's not great, but I'm not too far gone. and I know exactly how to get back to good. If I get back to that again,

it's possible that will be my last fat. You know, I'm on like nine or ten. You're going to die if you have one more fat? No, just stay fat. Oh, just stay fat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, like the yo-yo will finally break off the string and just tumble down the street into a Chili's bar and grill.

Yeah, yeah. That's who broke up well-read. Yo-Yo Ono. Yo-Yo's pizza. Well, I'm pulling for one of the other. but I understand you're not going to give a staff. Can you do that type of change in like three weeks? Because for me, like, it takes forever and either.

I can do it in five days. I can pack on weight pretty quick, but not three weeks quick, but any type of like, you know. It's borderline impossible for me to do low carb. I don't have the willpower and I have a candida infection diagnosed, which means that like. That sounds Italian. Hell yeah. It also sounds like dickhole catfish, by the way. Dickhole catfish Awareness Month.

coming up in February, I believe it was, or Dickle Catfish Awareness Week. Yeah, I have no idea what we're talking about. That's an old thread lor thing. We used to celebrate Dickhole Catfish Awareness Week just because people don't know them. People need to be more aware of them. They need to be more aware of the little dickhole catfish they got in Amazon. It's called a Candera. I'm pretty sure.

The very quick point I was making is that if I can low carb it, I'm built like my father. If I can truly go no carbs for like six days, in about two weeks I'll look like a different person. but I cannot fucking do it. The Candida literally starts telling my brain that I'm crazy

from what I've read. Isn't that wild? Super wild. In the spirit of awareness I do feel like we should let everybody know at DJ I believe was the president

of the dickhole catfish awareness group and if I'm not mistaken what this was DJ clued us in it was these if you're, I'm going to say

what I think it was and I know Trey remembers exactly what it was. Okay, so from what I remember it was, sometimes if you get in a lake, uh, there's this parasite that comes from a catfish that crawls up your dick hole and then enlarges and then it has teeth. Now, see, I don't think, I'm not sure that it's any kind of catfish. We just made it head harder by calling it the dick hole catfish. Right. Because you got to noodle it out. But it's like, uh, that's right. It's, it's, first of all, it's just in South America. It's just in the Amazon, I think.

Man. And it's a jungle fish. And like, they got, that's also where piranhas is at. They ain't no tell you. God hates those. Wild fish, man. Piranhas is wild.

I was saying the other day, what if God's real? And he just, like, he just hates those people. I mean, it's like, it's like, it's pretty and jungles hit and stuff, but I wouldn't want to walk through it. Yeah. The risk reward, though. Australia, too. Everything there can kill you.

That's a, that's like sort of a, it's not a myth, but like, very few people die every year from the spiders and snakes there. Well, speaking of a myth, I don't think the dickhole catfish is a myth. It does exist, but I think there's been like a couple of documented cases where it actually happened. It's not exclusively for humans' dickholes, but like what happens is if you are peeing. Not exclusively for humans dickholes. If you are peeing in the Amazon and this fish is around, it's like a little tiny fish,

you'll swim up your ureth and it gets in there and it like sticks these spines. So I was kind of right. Yeah. You got to pee? And I don't know how much of it. any of this is accurate. It'll swim up the stream of your pee. There you go. Which is crazy. So you ain't even got to be submerged. You don't have to be submerged.

That's more like a salmon. Aaron, we need you on the board of Dick Hole Catfish Awareness Week. It's Dick Hole Salmon Catfish Awareness Week. And Aaron, you are on the board now. Man, yeah, that so yeah, that don't hit. What a nightmare. Like, imagine being told that. Something going on with my dick, it's hurting. Well, here's what happened. Use peat out in the water and a tiny little fish crawled up in. your hole and it's got these talons and it's

did that. Yeah. I don't know if you'd have to be told. You know the only place? You'd have to be told the specific thing that happened but like I don't think you'd be like something's off. I know but I think you'd be like fuck! Right, but you'd be like give me a pain pill

and an antibiotic I shouldn't have fucked that girl and they'll be like buddy we can't get rid of this one. This is a dick hole catfish. We gotta go in there and plunge it out. Sorry, Joe, what were you saying? I was just saying it would be You said, imagine being told that. And I was like, yeah, like, you're in the jungle and, like, somebody's like, yo, you know the only place that you have to pee since you're a jungle person?

Well, if you do that, a catfish will swim up your dickhole and then sort of like wolverine out into your penis. Like, that's a bad thing to hear. It is a bad thing to hear. You're right. There was one thing I'm upset. We heard it again. I meant to say way earlier. And then I have a question for you.

We're talking about doctors and how their checklist don't hit for me. The other one that really pisses me off tremendously is that they make no differentiation whatsoever between smoking and vaping. And I'm sorry, that shit just ain't accurate. I don't care what nobody say. Like you have to feel out how much do you smoke and that's all they, there's no vaping box. It's just how much do you smoke and it's like if you vape it all there, you're supposed to check it on there. And they just count that. And I'm always like, okay, but come on.

Isn't it because they don't know, they don't really necessarily know yet? Isn't that part of the reason why? I mean, yeah, I guess. They're still doing the research. And then correct me if I'm wrong. The only analogy I can think of, isn't it like rugby at American football, where rugby is a safer sport overall. But if you get a head injury in rugby because you don't have a helmet,

it can really fuck you up? Isn't it that vaping doesn't do the damage cigarettes do? But if you get the thing that you can get from vaping, it fucking kills you? Now, famous last words, because I'll say this and end up with it. But as I understand it, most of those cases of, like, real bad shit is from these... Popcorn lung. Yeah, it's from these, like, these kids who, like, you see on, like, making YouTube videos, fucking Vape Nation stuff, where they're, like, it's insane the amount of vaping that they're doing.

Like, it's, like, real over the top where, you know, I'm just a casual little robot Peterpuffer. So regular-ass robot Peterpuffers don't get popcorn lung. Well, I hope not. I need to look it up. What you think, Joe? Imagine saying that sentence to our past loss. Now, listen, this has always been my thing on it. It's completely anecdotal evidence.

I'm not a scientist. I'm not even anything. But the reason that I just can almost guarantee that vaping, and I'm not saying vaping is good. I'm just saying that vaping is better than smoking cigarettes is because I was a fucking cigarette smoker for years. I now have not had a actual, like regular old-fashioned raw dog cigarette in six years,

but I have vapeed. And the way that I used to feel after smoking cigarettes and shit, I don't feel that after I vape. Now, granted, it might be because I've hit it less. I don't know. I would argue that I've been hitting it more recently. But like, I used to wake up and I would breathe and I could feel this gurgling in my chest and I could feel all this shit.

And I don't feel it anymore. And also, like, I used to. used to get just straight up hangovers from smoking too many cigarettes i don't get that from vaping now granted it doesn't mean that it's not doing any damage i just can't in my mind believe that it's doing the same thing okay so exactly same way i've always thought the same thing according to what i'm reading and obviously this is propaganda by big cigarette but um of course big cigarette sells them too so this is probably propaganda they own it they made a partnership with jewel right The biggest dangers is that

Ultra fine particles can get into it If it's like if it ain't made if it's made cheaply Yeah, that too And that'll fuck you up Flavorants such as diacetyl We'll say I said it right It's linked to serious lung disease My understanding from when I'm reading here

They don't all have that one And then Similar to the particle thing Heavy metals like nickel tin and lead are in the apparatus and sometimes you're sucking that in and that stuff is apparently awful for you

so maybe you guys might want to invest in like the nicer ones if that's a thing I get the good ones I think I don't know and throw them away every couple months or what you know what I mean you know like when your car smells different when it's old

because it ain't working right yeah but I've put a catalytic converter on your fucking things what I'm saying I've always thought that Lewis Black like totally nailed it. He had, I don't remember any of the jokes, but he had a bit about how he thinks that everybody's health is like, it's like your fingerprints, like they're completely unique to each individual person and like some people, you know, I think signs backs up. And so, like,

for example, we've been working on the house I grew up in Insalina. There's an old, old fella around there. This dude is 91 years old, right? And smoke, like chain smokes and still like drives and not terribly like you he will stop by and you talk to him you know what I mean like he's not out of it and he's smoking and driving around and living his life and stuff at 91 and I guarantee he didn't pick up smoking at 87 you know what I mean like he probably been smoking since 12 yeah and this motherfucker just fine well they say stress is the biggest thing they say stress is the biggest thing they say stress is worse than all that stuff great sweet yeah and that's why that's like that's the theory is why like Keith Richards still crushing it.

Motherfucker, I had to be anywhere at any time he didn't want to be since he was like 20. Yeah. Well, I'm with you on that as like, you know, my grandmother lived in 96. Literally never drank a glass of water in her life. Never happened. Never once. She ate bacon grease every day, all that shit. Now, granted, she didn't smoke and she didn't drink, which is what my mom often

says when I'm making this analogy. She's like, well, yeah, but she didn't smoke and didn't drink. And I'm like, okay. but her brother, my uncle Gordon, did all the same shit my granny did, and he smoked, he drank patched blue ribbon, he dipped, he chewed all that shit. He did all of that up until he was 96 years old. And at 96 years old, he quit all of it, turned his life over to Jesus, and that motherfucker was dead in two months. Yeah, that's the opposite of what York do. That don't it. insurance policy. But if you believe in

Jesus, that's actually, like if you really do you think it's real, that's the move. Yeah. Just send his whole fucking life and then right at the end, he got to do not pass go, go directly to heaven. Yeah, but ain't there versions of Jesus where you can still drink and smoke? Sure. Can you just give yourself over, give yourself over to the party Jesus

and keep hitting until you die? Yeah, I knew a girl. Even in his version, which was Baptist, you can still do it because like, it's like once saved always saved. It's just like, I guess it upsets Jesus. but like, it's so, but here's like, I don't, do what now?

Or I guess I should say evangelicals. There's plenty of evangelicals who believe in falling from grace, but let's not get into that because it's fucking boring. Yeah, that's true. But I don't know, man, like he, you know, he just, he did that and then he was dead. Now, granted, he was dead because he was fucking in his late 90s and had done all that shit, but like, I'm just saying there's part of me that thinks that he gave up his reason for living, which was.

to hit. Yeah, for a second there I thought you were going to say, I'm just saying there's part of me it thinks like I'm going to live pretty much forever no matter what. So, you know, no, not me. I got to, now on my, on my mom's side, like, that's the only thing I have going for me is that like on my dad's side, all the men just stay dying. My dad is, it's amazing that he is alive.

Like, it's amazing. So that happens on their side. But on my mom's side, everybody lives forever. So like, if I, if they half out and I get a little bit of both, That and the fact that I genuinely love vegetables and have always eaten them is the only way that I'm making it to, I'll be conservative. I might make it to 80 where no man in my family has ever done that. I might make it to 80. You may make it at 80, but I really don't think it's just because you eat vegetables.

If you was doing that instead of fucking house and steaks, ribs and booze, but like, I don't think it helps as much anymore. Right. Well, that I'm saying, if you make it, that'll be why. Yeah, for sure. Oh, no. I mean, my diet chain. Like, for the past, ever since I got my cholesterol report and it wasn't great, I've pretty much, I think I've had one hamburger and one steak. I pretty much, I'm borderline pescatarian right now.

I just don't talk about it because that's boring. But, like, I basically just eat salmon and tuna and shit. I so wish I had a text I could recall right now about him sending us pictures of a triple cheeseburger he ate last week or something like. that, you know what I mean? That would hit. I didn't know. I know. I want to... Yeah, sure. Well, as far as we know. I want to talk about that Louis Black...

I always tell you when I eat a triple cheese burger. All right. Look what I want. I want to talk about that Lewis Black Point. Yeah. Because I do think that's interesting. And I think as we learn more about DNA and, like, how enzymes break down. Because, like, all the rage right now is, like, gut health.

Uh-huh. And getting blood tests to understand how proteins are broken down in your body and how they, I think they call it methylate in your blood. I don't know enough about any of that to speak on it intelligently, but I do know because I have, and I've known this since I got the blood clot. One of the big reasons I got a blood clot is I have an M-T-F-H-R gene mutation in my blood. About 30 percent of the population has that, but underneath the umbrella of those mutations, there's like seven versions of it, and two of them are bad for blood clots, and I have one of those. and I don't even remember which one it is. I learned that then, and they were like,

you need to take vitamin B12 and, you know, stop hitting. And I was like, well, I'll do one of those. Right. But now that was 12 years ago. They know so much more about that process. A lot of people are looking more into that type of thing, and obviously, like I said, gut health. And there's all kinds of research coming out of, like, attaching that to,

I don't know why I said attaching that. That is what's causing so much. many heart problems, mental health problems, even they think maybe autism and stuff like that. So gut health. Gut health and related to that, what you're eating or not eating as far as how your body can break it down. Again, I can't speak on it intelligently much beyond that. It has something to do with like your blood's not pulling out what it needs. So you're eating vegetables, as Corey said, but your body's just not getting what it should from them.

You don't take it in as much as other people. I totally buy that. Well, yeah, I mean, I think it's standard science now. I wasn't reading it on like one of Andy's websites or whatever. But I'm making that point to say I completely agree with you. Because we're talking about DNA now. We're talking about gene mutations. And then obviously gut health can be affected by the environment.

But to your point, I think it's way, way, way more individual than we thought. I mean, I do think we can make broad generalizations. If you're out here drinking and smoking every day, probably bad. Probably. But individually, you might have the Mickey Mantle gene. Right. I wanted to ask you something. Okay.

Sorry if I already should have this information and somehow missed it in the thread or something. But so, like, as you yourself pointed out on Twitter recently, you walk around right now looking like the lady from Matt Rife's joke. Oh yeah, I deleted that. Okay. Anyway, if y'all are listening to, you know, Matt Raff, the comedian made a joke in a special about a woman with a black eye. And people got mad about it. You have a black eye. But did you tell us what happened?

Because we've, like, a wonderful recurring segment on this show, I feel like is Drew's confrontations. Yeah. Yeah. And now you come in here with a black eye. Yeah. So, I mean, it begs the shit out of the question. Right. Well, unfortunately, and everything.

It don't hit this time? Well, I've had three black eyes over the course of well-read. Okay. And unfortunately, they're all the same exact boring story. I was playing basketball. Ah, yeah. And caught an elbow or shoulder. Yeah.

I don't think I've been in an altercation that led to someone laying hands on anybody since, like, probably like, 24. four. Yeah. Wait a minute. What about that dude that tried to stab you at the Y? Yeah, but he didn't put his hands on me. He just thought about it. He just got his knife out and I left.

Yeah. Yeah, right. Good call, by the way. Then I came back with a tire iron and then I left again. Does that count Andy's situations? What do you mean? You asked me if Andy's ever hit me? No, no, no.

You said you'd never gotten into... No, I'm sure she has. But no, you said you got into... You hadn't been in altercation since you were 24 that. resulted in hands being thrown but like you've also said before to Andy yeah we'll be in a bar yeah talk shit to the biggest motherfucker in there and now you've got a situation on your hands so the best story of that and I've probably told it before but it's been long enough that it's it'll be fun to tell again we're at a concert we were dancing I think she was beside me and I'm like looking

at the stage you know moving your head as you do at a concert and then like I kind of looked to my left and she's gone I was like all right I guess she went to the bathroom but like she didn't tap me. There was, that was weird, whatever. And then, like, I hear a noise, like, a, you know, and, like, kind of turn to see the noise, and there's, like, a crowd kind of dispersing. And then I see a lady fall onto her back. That lady was my wife. Oh. The reason that it didn't process that it was her was her guy shoved her so hard. She had her hair up. He shoved her so hard that her hair tie came out, and her hair went everywhere. So I was like, Damn, somebody shove that lady.

That is my wife. I walk over that direction. She gets up, starts going at a giant. Played football at UT. Holy shit. Not on starter, but like a giant giant giant, giant 21-year-old man. Yeah, still. Yeah.

A giant 21-year-old man. He shoved the ponytail holder out of her hair? Damn. That's like somebody gets hit by a car and their shoes fly off or something. I'm like walking that way. She gets up in his face. people get between them. Now I'm processing what happened. And I know I've told this on here before, but, but anyway, this is how I tell it.

This is true. I'm walking towards that guy. She is now fine. There are people keeping them apart. And I'm walking towards him. And in my head, I'm thinking, please God, someone recognize that I'm walking towards this man and grab me. Yeah. Because he is going to beat the fuck out of me. Right. But I genuinely can't not at least get.

in his face because I just saw him like shove the fuck out of my wife and no one's responding to that like I mean like a bouncer or someone that works there they are I now know because I got right to him and I think I got out like what the

and then I got grabbed carried out like removed from the situation everyone got separated what had happened was we're sitting there dancing dude walks by grabs Cindy's ass, but also like cups it.

Like gets his fingers all the way in there. She turns around, there's two dudes. None of them are claiming it. None of them. And then she's like, she said something like, who the fuck did that? Like she walked away. I didn't even hear this. So she walks towards him. It was like, who the fuck did that? Or who the fuck do you think you are? Why the fuck you think you can do that or something

like that? And he just kind of smirks at her and goes, what are you talking about? And she shoved him so hard. and he wasn't expecting her to because he wasn't like, you know, bowed up that he kind of took a step back he hit a table, like a coffee table and the lounge part of Blue Cats that was like away from the stage

went over it. What? Fell on his ass. What? That embarrassed him. I bet. Which is why he did that. And I didn't see or know about any of that.

And then the only other part of the story that really, I guess, matters is we were outside. They had a cop that was like getting over time to work there in uniform, like that moonlining deal they can get, you know? And Andy was like, fuck this, this is what this guy did, blah, blah, blah. And then he, of course, was like, did you see it? Did you see him actually grab you? And she's like, pull the cameras.

And then he gave her the whole like, is this really what you want to do? You want to press charges. We got to go to court. And did you say he plays for the Vols? Well, listen, I don't think we need to elevate this. This doesn't seem like such a big deal to me. We found that out later, but he was also a scrub. Playing South Carolina on Saturday, yeah.

Oh, buddy, last time we went down to South Carolina, we didn't take our best goddamn defensive player, and it costs us the fucking game and a chance at the goddamn playoffs and a rematch with his fucking team. So it's not like we would have cared. Sorry. No, yeah, no, I know it does, yeah.

And all he did was call our quarterback a pussy. Yeah, I got, my college girlfriend had something like that. Happened once at a bar in Panama City Beach, and it was, uh, great town i did the thing where like you know like she said you're walking over like please god someone see this happening or whatever i like basically looked to make sure there was a bouncer there and then shoved the dude hell yeah nice i was like hey motherfucker you know yeah let me go no no this isn't fair don't drag me out don't kick me out of here yeah because he had two friends

with him it was just me so it's three dudes but only one offending guy so she but anyway i did not want that smoke. She threw a guy into a wall of Miami for calling her fat. Well, that's just not accurate. Yeah, he was like doing that nagging thing when that was a thing. Was this long enough to go that perhaps he meant it P.H. AT?

Nope. No, no. He was definitely like, he was like, y'all are just two fat bitches or something like that. Or you're a fat bitch and your friend's disgusting. He bought him drinks and they were talking. That was neg, like, it's so funny that that's like a technique. You dumb fat bitch? I'm just doing a thing here. Yeah, that's a pickup.

technique. According to Andy... You're a fat bitch and your friend's disgusted. Well, according to Andy, it started. Anyway, you want to get out of here? Wait, she said it...

I can't believe it didn't work. She said it started. He was like, you know, you're not as hot as the ones I usually go for to her friend. Just like that kind of thing. And then when Andy was like, you're being rude.

That's when he was like, well, you're a fat fucking bit. Anyway, she shoved him into the wall. I didn't see, I didn't know any of that. Like, I just saw an altercation that got separated. He gets kicked out, pushed outside. she's furious. Like I'm having to, like, restrain her.

I pull her into the bathroom. And I'm like, what happened? And then she's, like, mad at me. She's like, oh, you're going to pull me in there? I'm like, what? She's like, why didn't you hit that guy? I was like, what guy? What the fuck happened, you know?

And then we went outside and his friends, you know, there was like always distance. They were holding him back. He took his shirt off. His buddy said, I'm a nurse. I just want to help people. And my friend, my friend Grant started laughing. so fucking hard they refused the whole situation. I mean, that is a funny thing to say.

And Grant, people were still kind of going out and Grant became like, guys, he's a nurse. Grant was hilarious. Anyway. So, this is apropos of nothing, but I watched the movie First Man

on a plane recently. That's the movie about Neil Armstrong. Ryan Gossing plays Neil Armstrong. It was directed by written and directed, I think written and directed by Damien Chaisal or Chezell, I ever you say it, Whiplash, La La Land, Babylon. He also made this movie. It's not near as wild as those other movies are.

It's like just kind of a straightforward biopic, but it's a good movie, but none of that is the point. The point is I didn't realize they had never really processed or thought about the fact that, you know, we went to the moon. We were in the space race with the Russians, right? Yeah. But really. Scoreboard. Scoreboard, sure. but America was kind of the 2007 New York Giants of the space race because

we were way behind. They beat us on like literally every single major milestone of the space race, but nobody remembers or cares because we got the big one. We won the Super Bowl. We got to the moon. Isn't that one of the big? And that's all that matters. But like they did that Sputnik, Yuri Grigarian or whatever, like first animal in space,

first man in space, first woman in space, first crude spaceflight, first space walk, first satellite before all that, that Sputnik, like every, everything, until we got to the moon first. And I just think that that's kind of wild. Isn't that a huge pillar of the fake moon landing conspiracy? Isn't that a big part? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know much about the fake. So, yeah, I mean, I guess that makes sense. We can't meet them, but we can make the world believe we did because we have Hollywood. Oh, okay. Yeah, that was a lot of people's arguments where, were like, number one, like, yeah, that, like, hey, we'll just make our PR do this. Like, we've got all this, you know, we've got the best directors in the world, whatever the fuck. But also the theory was like, the thing was like, love to say did it. Yeah, right.

Right. But also it was just like the people who were really thinking about it were like, how is it that we couldn't do all of these other things as quick as them? But then we did arguably the harder thing. You know what I mean? And I guess in my brain, I'm like, I don't know. I guess they, like, they had a singular focus. of like we ain't worried about all that other shit.

We're just going to get to the moon. And then I don't know. But yes, you're right, Dura. That's a, I'm big into, I'm not, I'm not a conspiracy theorist. I love reading them. So that is one of them. Most of those accomplishments have to do with human safety once in space, getting a man in space and bringing him back, getting a woman in space, bringing him back, animal, blah, blah, blah. I think you could argue that, like, we were behind in that regard and eventually caught up a number.

enough to them, but maybe we were always ahead of them in distance. Because that was the big thing with the moon is like, how the fuck do you get that far? You've got to be light enough to leave the atmosphere, but then have enough fuel to continue going, I think, as I recall from like Apollo or whatever. So, like, maybe it's just like, yeah, they were beating us on safety. When the fuck did America give a shit about safety, though? We really cared more about, or cared less about safety than the Russians. In my head, the Russians...

That's hard to believe. I'm not arguing... We were once a great country. I'm not arguing with the part about us, but I mean, just from them. We were once a great country. I figured they'd throw anything at space, like, regardless of what happened. Maybe that's why they beat us then, because, like, how many of them died before the war? That's what I thought you were going to say.

There's a theory about that, I think. It's called, like, the lost cosmonauts or something like that. There's a theory that they lost a shitload of them that people don't know about because they just... you know, didn't release information. This space gulag, we send you. Yeah, they just, you know, shoot them up there, let it ride. The conspiracy theory thing. The moon one?

Yeah. What, I mean, what else you got from that? Cho, you said you read up on conspiracy theories. Where's that rank on your list? It's one of the few that as far as I know isn't racist. So that's pretty good. I, the only, here's the thing, like, when I look at the Jews don't come into it at all. I don't, well, maybe Hollywood, maybe Hollywood.

I'm with you, Drew. Yeah, nothing I've seen on it is racist. And trust me, I control F the shit. I try to find that, you know, the racist stuff. Usually comes back to the Jews. Mm-hmm. Yeah. The thing about the, the thing about the fake moon landing thing that, like, always makes me go,

I don't even want to entertain this anymore is because, like, there's just no way they wouldn't have had kill those people. You know what I mean? Like, they can't have that many people have this lie. Like, that's so big of a thing to carry and they didn't kill any of them.

So, like, how the fuck... How you know they didn't kill them? And that these are clones? Who? You're talking about the astronauts? Yeah, the astronauts, the people... I mean, those are, you know, those are ops. Like, I can easily argue but the astronauts would do the lie.

But whoever built the set, you just murder the... them. That's what I'm saying is like a big part of that theory is a lot of people suggest that Stanley Kubrick was the one who shot it all. So like you would have and dude, Stanley Kubrick ain't somebody you could trust with information. That motherfucker was a lunatic.

Maybe you got something on him. If that was true. Or they were like, hey, if he starts talking shit, everybody would be like, let Kubrick's on one again. I don't know, but like. Right. And they gave him a pile of money to make his movies, you know. It's funny.

It's picture him like getting into. fight with his fake astronaut actors because of doing the 150th take of the fucking small step for man line or whatever. It's like, I think we fucking got it, Stanley. But, you know, that's why. That's why you hire him because he's a perfectionist, right? So the shadow thing, do you know about that? Yeah.

Like they go the wrong direction or different directions. Like there's a few parts of the pictures where it's like, that shadow's facing this way, this shadow's facing the other way, that don't make sense. and the way the flag moved apparently was inconsistent with what we later learned the atmosphere would have been but no that's actually true right no clue dude well who fucking knows but no okay because like by the way if it is i think that makes america more badass no hang on come back to that but i crave me for joe rogan was a moon landing denier right and then he at some point switched and now he acknowledges it happened i also don't know but sure so well i feel like if rogan made that switch

which then somewhere in there he found out enough that, you know, that convinced him. Yeah. And he was hardcore in the other direction. Yeah. So all those questions must have answers, I have to think. I've just never looked into it. I don't know. The only one I've looked into is flat earth because I've been so like.

But the people answering them is the U.S. government. So you do kind of think we fake the moon landing. Listen, it's okay. Now I do. I didn't before this, but now I'm in. I just, you said it makes America hit harder. I just don't agree with the. I love all that.

space shit, all that moon shit. I mean, look there. But Corey, Mooney loves entertainment. Sure. I love entertainment too, but like the, dude, the feat, that accomplishment is like such proof. I think it's

inarguably better. Look, I would rather that we did it, but it's inarguably harder to pull off a griff that big for this long. Then going to the moon? At this point, yes. I don't know. Well, okay, you say at this point, but that's the thing. The Russians had already done it. The computers they had at that

were like calculators basically like this is so much this phone is so much more powerful than anything they were working with in like the span of 60 years we went from the right brothers to walking on the goddamn moon okay but at what point there's no greater accomplishment in our history than that but keeping people people still believe we went to the moon there are some people who doubted obviously that is what makes it's like brady's longevity to me yeah the day that they faked it, going to the moon would have been more impressive. The fact that it ain't come out yet, I do think that's, I don't think it's more badass, sorry Corey, but I think it is more impressive. I think it's harder to do. Which is, wow, you know it ain't true. I agree.

Because they couldn't do that. The government couldn't do that. And then also, like, Apollo 13 was like the 13th time. Like, we kept going back. You know what I mean? Right. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and I agree, badass was the wrong one. And we should have kept on going back. For what? Like war purposes? We should be there right now. Yes, we should. I wish I was there.

We should be a colony on the moon and we should be going. Ben had been to Mars and back. Because if we'd never stopped and kept putting the same kind of resources into it as we had at that time, we definitely would have done all that shit. Let me ask you this. And this is really a question for handy. That all just hits harder. But all the witches.

Yeah. Like the moon makes them, you know, be buttholes one month a year or whatever it is? Sure, yeah. How's that work if you're on the moon? Like if Mercury's in retrograde but you're on Mars, does it matter? has to matter. Yeah. So they just lose their minds

when they get on the moon. What about a baby? What about a baby more on the moon or on Mars? You know, what's their astrological situation? Is a werewolf perpetually a

werewolf if he's on the moon? Whoa. Just pure werewolf all the time. He don't ever transform. Oh, shit. That's what those witches are after. They want to fuck them werewolves.

Corey? Probably. That is a great fucking question. What did he say? I was on my my where was sure. What did I ask? Can they be president? A baby? No, because if you're born in a U.S. territory, you can be president? Is that right? You don't have to be born. So if you're born on the moon, you can you be president, I think. If we had a moon colony, it would be

us. It would be America. Yeah, of course. It would count as America, I'm pretty sure. So if the baby was born on the moon colony, then that would, you know, yeah, you'd be an American citizen, I think. don't you think that people in Mississippi would not like a person born on the moon? Yeah. Yeah. A moon, you know, it rhymes with moon. And it was a slur. No, no, I was thinking of like raccoons, you know.

Not sure I like someone being born on the moon. Don't love the comparison you made and then me saying that sentence back to back. You're like, oh, those people are right. But the moon's been fucking up my life for a while. Yeah, right. It's just like every time. Yeah, every time. the moon's fucked up, everything's fucked up.

See, that's what I'm saying, man. We've got to start taking people seriously and then adjust how we're, like people say, oh, God's real and he created everything. Well, then fuck him. Cancer's bullshit. It is. Oh, well, the moon is why I'm being a dickhead right now. Well, then fuck the moon.

Yeah, moon don't hit. Right. Moon does hit. I know. Moon does hit. Maybe it's mercury that don't hit. Yeah, it's always going into retrograde and stuff. All the planet's going to retrograde, because Mercury is always the one that people say.

Like, that's the joke. I don't know, dude. That's what the one I was used. It's when everybody used as Mercury's in retrograde. But, like, did Jupiter go into Retrograde? I don't know. I came up with the line, Mercury's on Government Aid again. And it's, like, murdered, like, 400 times in a row where I put it in the joke.

And the other night, I got nothing. I hate that. And I'm so fucking mad still. Yeah. Anyway, it's got it. What does Retrograde mean? I was about to ask you that. I just, if anybody here knew, it would be you, I feel like, because, yeah.

Oh, I have no idea. No idea what retrograde means. I think that's the point. Nobody knows what it means. That's why those fucking hippies just get to say it and be absolved of their fucking shitty attitude. But retrograde is a word that exists outside of the context of Mercury, correct? I guess. It's the only time I've ever heard it.

Yeah, no, like retrograde normally, just the regular word, means directed or moving backwards. To go backwards, basically. Mercury's moving away. That affects the oceans. It also affects the water in your body. That's the very dumb theory. If the planet in their orbit appears to be moving backward from Earth, relatively speaking, I guess that means that I guess that's when it's in retrograde.

But here's the problem, though, with Jupiter. I think Jupiter's so far away. They're just optical illusion. That's when a planet appears to move backwards in its orbit. These are optical illusions but are still thought to have an impact on an astrological level. Well, we do get further away and closer to other planets, depending on how we and they are spinning around the sun. But I think even in their world, Jupiter wouldn't matter because it's so far away.

Like the pull of Jupiter, I don't think, has much of an effect directly on Earth. Indirectly it does because it's affecting whatever planet's next to it, on down the line. You know, but there's a certain balance. And I think the argument is like, as we're moving this way and then Mercury's moving this way, we pass, you know, we get close to each other. We're on the same side of the sun at the same time. And that probably does have an effect on our tides. If it doesn't, I'm going to be so fucking mad. I think just sometimes you're a bitch.

You know what I mean? Sure. That's what I think. Yeah. Sometimes you're sad. Is the moon seem to line up with the, you know, period situation? The moon supposedly does have an effect on that. It doesn't cause it.

That's the moon's fault, fucking periods. Man, moon's been fucking up. That's what I'm saying. The moon's got the best PR person in the game. I think the moon don't. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

They got me when they were like, it's cheese. You know what I mean? I was always in on that. The moon was the first. inanimate object that I've referred to as a choe, I believe. It was. That's true. One of a show. Moon's a Cho. Yeah, because it's made of cheese, you know, got a big face on it.

And big and round. Big round face on it. And everyone thinks it hits and it don't hit. Right. That was, I was getting there, but, yep. Saturn, I know I mentioned before that sharks be older than trees. I hate it. I know you hate it.

I brought it up the other day to somebody. So, do you know sharks also? I believe Drew's upset at the air. of sharks for being older. Did you know that sharks also be older than the rings of Saturn? Dude, what the fuck? Yeah. I thought there was ever.

No, not ever. How? So, there was- See, Jerry, we're about to wrap it up here. There was a point when it was goddamn sharks, but the fucking, but Saturn ain't grown its rings yet? Yeah. Indeed.

Ain't that wild? Sharks, dude. That is fucking crazy. Yeah, because, I mean, we're talking like hundreds of millions of years here. Right. You know, hundreds of millions of years ago. So, yeah, although Saturn is about 4.5 billion years old, its rings are thought to have formed just 400 years. Sorry, 400 million years ago, making them younger than the Earth and many of its animals, such as sharks, which first of all, 50 million years before that.

Dude, these timescales, it's crazy. have been around for 50 million years before Saturn's rings developed, which was 400 million years ago. Dude. And all of recorded human history is what? Not even 10,000 years? It's like seven, eight thousand years. Are sharks? Are sharks dinosaur fish?

Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, what's the difference? Like, they're dinosaurs. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. Because I guess, like, well, like, the fucking meteor, like, you. It didn't take out the watershed, which is...

No, meter didn't take out the water shit. That's right, yeah. Took out a bunch of the water shit, I think, but not all of the water shit. Well, you know... Not sharks, though. It used to be Megalodons, right? That was like the dinosaur shark. It was just a big-ass shark, though, but...

Right. Yeah. I'm a fan of Megalodons and the film franchise that they have inspired. Yes, the documentary film franchise, the Meg. Yeah. Hosted by Jason Statham. Tracks his... Yeah, his adventures searching for the meg.

You know, some people actually think that the meg is real. Of course, some people think mermaids is real and Atlantis is real and whatever else. Wait a minute. They think that the meg, like, in a bigfoot kind of way, like that it's, or a Loch Ness monster, I guess, would be a better comp. Yeah, just that some people think that Megs are not actually extinct megalodons that they do exist somewhere out there. Like a giant squid. think people just people are like me and they just want to believe like they don't really believe something like it would hit if that was the case for them yeah because like a lot of the shit a lot of the shit that

I quote believe in I don't really believe in it it's just that I want it to be true so much that I just pretend that it is because it hits right I mean I'm pretty much I'm pretty much like that with aliens I guess I think about it no they were that they exist right see I agree completely I mean, they're fucking doing surgery on him in Mexico. I don't know if you've seen Facebook, buddy, but like, God damn. I've synced it. Well, listen, it's about time to wrap it up. Drew done runt off.

He couldn't handle the shark news. Drew got some bad shark nose and had to go. Trey, do you know something? What? Our book, round here and over yonder, right now until December 1st, you can get it for half off on Audible. So if you want the audio version, you can do that. You can also get the full, just the text version to the book. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, the book. You can get that wherever you get your books and stuff like that. So I thought that was neat if you're trying to, you know, save a little money on a, you can gift someone the audible for 50% off. Does it. You should do it. You also should come see me. I'll be in San Francisco this weekend, then northwest Arkansas next weekend, then we're, me, him, the three of us, back together again in Zanis in Nashville, December 14th through the 16th,

go to Trey Crowder.com, get you tickets, and you got links to the book on there too. Check it all out and listen to putting on airs or fancy stuff podcast, weekly skews to political podcast, all that, all the skewn of our stuff. Check it out. We appreciate you. Yeah, and check out bonuscori.com.

That is my substack. That is where I'm also building this entire fictional world called Chicka-Luky. We've got audio dramas. There's a Chick-a-Luky newsletter. There's Pastor Petey on Sunday bringing you the good word, the official preacher of Chick-a-Luky, doing a lot of fun stuff over there. We've also now, for all of our citizens of Chick-a-Luky, we have Chick-a-Luky merch. It's a lot of fun. BonusCori.com.

You can subscribe for free, but you can also subscribe for $5 and support the work and you will get some bonus things and stuff. So that's that. Last Tray said, putting on airs, grab our book, come see us at Zanis. Also, thank you all for listening to The Well Red Show. We'd love to stick around longer, but we got to go. Oh, and I'm going to be in Asheville, North Carolina at the Grey Eagle on December 28th. Where was I?

Tune in next week. If you got nothing to do. Thank you, God bless you. Good night, fuck, Drew. Ski, whoop. All right. Bye.