wellRED podcast - #372 - The Return Of Good Cop/Rad Cop!

Episode Date: December 27, 2023

Hey everybody! This week, The CHO is joined by our good buddies Dave Hannah and Ryan Darling, who combine to form a most hilarious comedy band in Good Cop/Rad Cop!   All sorts of things both musically and comically related are discussed, along with the fact that Good Cop/ Rad Cop will be opening for Corey TOMORROW NIGHT IN ASHEVILLE AT THE GREY EAGLE!   Go to TraeCrowder.com to see Trae on the road   DrewMorganComedy.com to see Drew   and BonusCorey.com to check out all of Corey's non-sense!   https://goodcopradcop.bandcamp.com/ is where you can find some silly stuff from the boys, but go out of your way to follow them on all socials and youtubes!   Grab your copy of Round Here and Over Yonder wherever books are sold!

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion, because you used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie, I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now. Skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people, people across the skew universe, I should say. Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year? Do you even know? Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery?

Getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low mane? Because that's a thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better, and it's called Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions,

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put your friend's faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies. You know, those weren't a little like the Q-ball-looking twin fellas. Yeah. So that was money. What was that a reply gift for?

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If you're money dumb like me, Rocket Money can help. So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney. dot com slash well read today that's rocket money.com slash well r e d rocketmoney.com slash well read and we thank them for sponsoring this episode of the podcast. They're the liberal red necks they like cornbread but six they care way too much but don't give a fuck. They're the liberal rednecks that makes some people.

upset but they got three big old dicks that you can suck everybody welcome to the well-read podcast we are sans tray we are sans drew because of some fucking technical difficulty because both of them are in Tennessee where the internet is ran by a horse pulling a cart filled with donkeys but I'm here and with me by the way are two dudes who are some of my favorite people in the world and they are also opening for me tomorrow Thursday, December 28 at the Grey Eagle in Asheville. So come see us. There's like 10 tickets left. My good friends, Dave Hannah and Ryan Darling, of Good Cop Rad Cop. How you doing, boys? What's up? What's up, everybody? Good to be here. Good to be on the show. Thank you for dressing up and being in a professional studio.

Dude, I ain't getting out of bed. It's Christmas. When was the last time you put on real pants, Corey? Oh, yesterday for Christmas, and it was not fun at all. Now, all of my jeans, you say real pants. Yeah, are these genos? What's up? Well, all of my jeans or any type of dress pants for at least the past five years when they became popular have been the ones that are like the stretch material.

Like, they're not completely elastic, but like they get. give a little bit. So if we're caught, and I think by now, since those have become the norm, those count as real pants. Like, real pants mean they have belt loops, correct? Mm-hmm. Sure, why not? Okay, yesterday.

And, yeah, again, that's when you realize, like, oh, I should be wearing real pants every day because when you don't wear real pants, you don't know that you're gradually gaining weight. You know what I mean? Like, your sweatpants don't tell on you. They just, like, they're true, yeah. You know what I'm saying? Uh, anyways, yeah, I love it that Ryan, now you're, you're, you're both a comedian and a musician.

And instead of taking the positive attributes of both, you just take the slovenly lazy piece of shit average attributes of both. And you're just like, I'm not getting out of bed. I'm drinking at three. Just give it a bigot. I'm literally drinking about three. So the only reason I chose this career was so I could drink at three. You know, it's funny because as a comedian, we can. we can start there. As a comedian, how different things have become, because when I started comedy,

which was in the George Bush administration, the, like, I wanted to, I knew I needed to work hard at my craft. Like, I knew the people at the tippy top worked really hard. But, like, the whole idea of going into comedy was like, I don't want, I'm not the type of person who can work a nine to five. I want to work just at night and an hour. That would be great. And, like, that was kind of how it was.

Like, when I was emceeing. and featuring in the early days. That's kind of how it was. But now, in order to be a comedian, you have to put out like 10 clips a day. You have to do four or five podcasts. You have to do it. And like, I literally work more than a nine to five now as a fucking,

like being actually standing on stage is like five percent of the time I spend doing my job. Do you all feel that way? The majority of the job is just videos by yourself. Right. It's all talking to a black mirror. Right. Yes. There's that and just.

showing up. Like, our big problem is we have to get the venues way earlier than every other comic because we have a sound show. And we always close. And we always close. So we are, what, when comics show up for spots here in Atlanta, they show up five minutes before they go on. Of course.

Do their spot and then leave right afterwards. We're there a good hour and a half before doors. And then we're there. And then we close the show. So, you know, we're. And then we have to take all of our equipment down. every gig we're there for like five hours. Yeah, 20 minutes takes us about five hours.

Yeah, it's literally a real job. Yeah, y'all've taken the absolute easiest thing about touring as a comedian and thrown it out the window. Now, because I'm an anxious and neurotic person, I'm there an hour and a half usually before shows, but just sitting in the green room not doing anything. Y'all are having to sound check and shit. But it's worth it. Her sound check takes like, oh, my God. three minutes. Her sound text go by his soap after.

They're like, okay, you don't sound like shit. And we're like, yeah. And then they're like, all right, go sit in the green room. And then we're there for, we just play chess back there. Do you think Ryan knows that we can't see his head right now? I think he is intentionally framing it around his talk. Well, hey, how would you? These podcasts, like when we put out episodes during Christmas or after Christmas,

because I know how podcast numbers work. You can look at it every year. Everyone ends up listening to these later because they're right today as a recording this and tomorrow when we release it, they're out returning gifts. They're there. If you're like me, you're at home pooping the humanity out of your entire body. Because that's what happened to me today. Like I don't know.

I know this is like a hack premise of a thing, but like I'm genuinely do not know how my sphincter was able to. get this big today, but it did. So my point is, is like, it always feels like when we do these episodes, we're just doing them for ourselves because nobody's really paying attention. So because of that. This is for that stretched butthole crew. Yeah, that's right.

All my stretch butthole peeps out there. So, but I did want to know how y'all's Christmas was. Like, I know that you're both in Atlanta now, correct? Mm-hmm. I'm in Chattanooga for the holidays. My man. The Hollandays. this was the first Christmas

I actually didn't spend with my family maybe in my life and they never told me how nice that would actually be they don't want you to know no I was worried I was like man I'm going to be alone for Christmas I don't have my family

I'm not going to be around my sister my mom or my dad my nephews and it turns out Christmas kind of rules when you're not under the pressure of your family when you're just like

oh, I can just kind of fuck around, play video games, drink, eat way too many cookies. I mean, I don't know what your sweet tooth is, Corey, but like... It's all of them, every tooth. I can clean a plate of cookies. And so I ate a shit ton of cookies, a bunch of pastries, drank a little beer, and just played video games, and it was a rad day. Are your fans, your folks still, like, pretty religious? Yeah, a little bit.

I mean, it depends. Yeah, my dad, my dad's like, you know, definitely religious and so is my mom. But my sister kind of goes to one of those, like, cool new liberal churches, you know? You know how I feel about those is like every single one of those churches, like their whole selling point is how not like church they are. Yeah. And I've always just been like, okay, then why don't I do nothing? You know what I mean? Like, like, it's jump part church.

I feel like if you want to go to church, you want to go to church. Like if you're going to, you're like, no, no, you'd love this church. It's nothing like church. I'd be like, well, you know, neither is Ruby Tuesdays. Why don't I just go there on Sunday? You know what I'm saying? It's really just like, do you want to play video games and drink beer and pretend you're going to heaven? Right.

Yes, I do. We need that third party in there. I would just imagine. I can't go to hell. I went to church today, bro. I would just imagine that if my family, because my family, family like believes in the Lord and all that. Like they've never let go of the believing in the Lord, I guess.

But they don't do any of the things to prove it to anybody, like go to church or even on. And I always thought like when they stop going to church, it's like, oh, well, they'll still be the people that go like on Easter and Christmas, but they don't. And I said all that to say this. Like, if that was still in the mix, I would feel way different about spending the holidays with my family. If I had to go to church and do like the midnight service and shit. But like, since they don't. You know, it's pretty fun. Yeah.

Yeah. I think with those like kind of like liberal churches, I was talking to my partner about this and we were saying that I think it's for people who aren't necessarily religious, but their view through like the spiritual window is like God, you know, the Christian God. So like they're more into like meditation and like kind of more the spiritual astrology kind of shit. of life, but then they still kind of... It's Eastern philosophies, but they're westernizing it up a little bit. Yeah, and they're like, oh, they can relate it back to Jesus, and they kind of have, like, hippie messaging

through Jesus. It's kind of, yeah. It's pretty cool. Like, I've been to her church, and I'm like, y'all are all right people and stuff like that, but, you know, I'm with you. I'm like, I don't, I'd rather just hang out on some day. Now I'm with you, and now with the, with the baby that I have that my wife made me, very kind of her. I am starting to get, like my parents are starting to talk about like, well, we should go to

church sometimes with him. You know what I mean? And I'm like, yeah, and I'm like having to pick my work because I don't want to be disrespectful to my mom. Like my mom started going back to church, you know, like if she really did that and she was like, hey, I would like Bain to go with me to Sunday service. I love my mom, so I would not deprive her of that joy, but at the same time, I want to tell her like, just so you know, if every Sunday, if he goes to church with you, when he gets home, I will be doing a CIA level debrief with him, you know, just to make sure that all of it is out. You know what I mean? You're not depriving her of joy, but you're absolutely depriving your son of joy.

Yeah, for sure, dude. He's going to fucking hate it. Lord for it. Yeah, like when I was a kid, I didn't know, like, I exclusively went to church, so I didn't know what it was like to not go on a Sunday. You didn't realize how not boring life to be. Right. If my parents were divorced, like, they got divorced and mom was at church and dad wasn't, the, like, it would take two weeks of me being at dads on a weekend, not going to church to be like, hey, mom, I'm not going anymore. Did you grow up religious, Dave? Yeah, for, it's complicated. Well, no, it's not.

We've got plenty of time. I did, yeah. But I didn't do any, I did, like, some Sundays until I was, like, 12 or 13, and my parents stopped going to Sundays. And then I went to, like, youth group stuff on Wednesdays. So I've basically always had my weekends free, and I don't understand why you would surrender them for any amount of time, much less for, like, five hours of your day. Is it supposed to if you're a football fan?

Yeah, dude. People were waking up, like, earlier than they do to go to their job, to go to church. And it's like, no, I'm not doing that, man. Right. A day of rest. I'm staying home. I think I'm, and maybe I'm speaking out of term, but Ryan, I think you were Baptist, right? Yeah.

Yep. Yep. Yeah. So was I. We were Baptist. Okay. Yeah, I don't know why. I mean, we all grew up in a similar, well, actually, I don't, are you from, like Chattanooga proper, Dave, or? I'm from Cleveland, Tennessee. Okay. Basically. Yeah. I'm just saying, it makes sense that we're all Baptist. That's kind of like,

you know, like if someone is from Massachusetts, I'm going to say, Catholic and it's probably going to be, you know, correct. It's the middle class white guy, Tennessee bit. Yeah. Yeah. It's basically people who fundamentally agree with the people that handle snakes but don't want to handle the snake. You don't want to be creepy about it.

Did your, uh, did your folks go to Sunday night service, Corey? Were they like that wild? We were, we were the stereotypical every time the doors open. Um, we went Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday, obviously. And then Tuesday was. Tuesday night activities, which my dad ran, and my mom was the VBS lady. So we were there all during, so obviously we were there all during VBS, but then we were there even before that because my mom was like prepping and they were like, you know, so like, oh, dude, like, and my mom and my mom was in

the choir. So I went to choir practice with her. So like, dude, like I, my childhood was like, I barely have a memory that doesn't have something to do with the church, whether that be. church. And I'm not going to sit here. As much as I dislike organized religion, I'm not going to say that there weren't some good memories, but it was more, it was more,

honestly, all my good memories were me and my little buddies fucking off during church. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. I think it would be fun if you had friends, but I didn't have any friends. Sunday night was like the best service because it was the only night my parents were like,

listen, we know we're taking you to Sunday night church. and it's boring as shit. So they just let me draw all through Sunday nights or anything. So all Sunday night, I just kind of just would sit there with a thing and just draw for an hour. But parents, parents that don't give their kids something to do are unhinged psychopaths.

I don't understand why you would force your kid. Because I don't even understand any of these words. Most of the adults don't understand like the King James version vocabulary. You know, of course. The kids just like, what the fuck is going on? Right. That's such a great point. Obviously, you don't, like, I don't want my kid on a tablet that's making noise and disrupting anybody that wants to enjoy the service.

But, yeah, like, if you don't let your kid draw, you're an asshole because, like, if the kid, the only way, in my experience, or what I was told about, like, believing in God and stuff is, like, you have to want to participate in it and you have to accept the Lord. And, like, when you're a certain age, like, you can't even, it's the age of accountability or whatever. You can't even understand it, right? So like just let them do whatever. It's sort of like how I heard I heard this really, because I wanted to beat my kids. Like I grew up like I'm going to beat the shit out of my kid. I'm just kidding. Sure.

But I got pop. My mom and dad didn't beat me, but my mom did. You know how like there's people who are one inch away from being a dwarf, but they're not a dwarf? That's how I got beat when I was a kid. Like it was like right up to the line where it's like, ah, technically they're fine. but it definitely is more than it should have been. It isn't assault. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

But anyways, so I just grew up and that was like, yeah, you pop your kid or whatever. Then I heard a couple years ago somebody said this, and I feel this same way about making your kids pay attention to church. They're like, okay, if you hit your kids, think about this. If they're old enough to listen to reason and understand things, then you should do that instead. You should talk to them. but if they're not old enough to understand reasoning, then they don't know why you're hitting them anyways, so don't hit them, right?

I feel the same way about church. It's like if they're super young and they're not, they don't understand the Lord stuff, just let them fucking draw. You know what I mean? Because like you're just, you're going to make them hate this thing so fucking much. And a lot of it is full of bullshit nonsense anyway.

The thing is they want you to, they want you to sign an eternal contract by the age of five on your own. And so they're like, is fire hot? You're like, fire is hot. And they're like, okay, you understand fire is hot. Now, you understand your goldfish dies, right? Imagine if your goldfish dies and is thrown in a hot fire, that happens forever,

unless you just say this real quick prayer with us. And you're like, sounds good to me. And then they get you for life. How many times did you do that? How many times did you do that, Ryan, just to be cautious? Except Christ? I think I got saying. like 14 times. I really only did it like twice because I remember being at the age of 10 being

like, I don't even know if God would take a five-year-old's word seriously. Right. But at the age of 10, I was like, you know what, I'll do this. But I did it because I don't know if y'all remember, you remember Ray Bolts, but he gets Corey. Yes, but refresh me. All right. He was a Christian singer and he had, he had this song. He wasn't on the Gaithers though. He wasn't one. He wasn't of their crew. He was a different guy. He was kind of like the one-of-side. It was like him, Carmen, and D.C. Carmen.

Carman, dude. That's the first dude that I, when I was like eight, I was like, oh, my God, men can be attractive. And it was Carmen. And then I was like, you better not tell the preacher because he'll think you're gay. Like, I already knew that that was a thing I couldn't admit that Carmen was a good-looking guy. Yeah, he had that kind of Italian look.

Yeah, he's like Italian, dark hair, just like, yeah. Kind of like a, he looks like a Vegas magician, kind of. Dude, 100%. That song, do you remember Satan Bite the Dust? That song was fucking awesome. Carmen, I don't know, Dave, you remember, but Carmen would rap, and he would also just do, like, storytelling songs that were... Tremendously talented fellow.

Very dramatic. But Ray Bolts had this song that where the music video took place in the future, where, like, Christians were being... persecuted again and then like the dad was pulled from his son and taken to go get killed because he believed in God and I just you know 2023 and they show this video yeah they show this a bunch of like nine year olds and I'm just like sitting there crying because I was like are they going to do this to my dad and my dad's like if Bill Clinton has his way yeah and then I just remember being like crying all night and then they're like well do you want to believe in God and

I was like, sure? Because it's like, when I think back on it, it's like one of the, when I think back on it, it's like one of the most traumatizing things to do to a job. My church used to bring that up all the time. They would be like, remember kids, if you don't take a bullet to the face, you're going to burn in hell. Right. Make sure.

Make sure that if a story of everything happens, you ask for it. That girl that got killed in Colin by. Yeah. Oh, my God. She was like, that was the best person to ever live. Also, also. what proof is there that that happened? You know what I mean?

Exactly. They're like, they're like, the guy looked at her and he told her if you don't believe in Jesus. First off, he only did it to her. He didn't do it to any other one,

just her, because he was a chauvinist, I guess. But also the only two people that could say that this happened are dead and were dead before any reporter got there. Yeah,

my thing with getting saved a bunch was, you know, in the Southern Baptist, it's like, once saved always save, which is nice. Like if you had to pick one of them to be real, I'm like, go with that. That's great. You know, because you, if you really mean it once,

you can then, fuck, yeah, right. But then, I feel like that's that, that's that free insurance. That's the free insurance the government gives you. It's like, this is the Southern Baptist heaven. You get there and it sucks.

It's just, it's like cheating on their wives. It's like, cheating on your wife, but she's a paraplegic, you know what I mean? Where you're like, hey, well, you know, I can do whatever I want. What's going to happen? You know, I didn't say that. The pastor did.

Okay. So anyways, like, I believe that. But then, like, I went to church with one of my buddies who he was Church of Christ, and they were doing this whole thing like, no, no, no. Every time you sin, you have to get saved again. And I was like, but we don't believe that. But instead of being like, uh-uh, fuck you at my church, we don't. I went into like, oh my God, what if that's right?

You know what I mean? I was like, what if that right? So I started like secretly getting saved all the time in my heart. And I was just like, well, I was just scared to fucking death. Like every time I did, like, if I cheated on a test, I'd be like, Lord, save me for Father God, you know, whatever. And then- What are you doing in the bathroom? I'm getting saved.

Shut up. You getting saved again? Get out of my turning off. Don't think I'm getting saved. Say your points in this house, boy. Yeah. Then it's funny because. like, you know, that whole deal with like, oh, there's no atheists in a foxhole.

Like, I hate that phrase because, you know, it insinuates that like only with God could you be brave or like you give up all your morals. But there is a shred of truth to it in a sense because when I got older, long after I'd given up on God and stopped believing in any of that nonsense. Yeah. Every time I was having a panic attack that I thought was a heart attack because I was doing Coke, I would get saved. I would get saved every time.

I have diarrhea. Look at how many churches I'm supposed to build? I don't get saved every time. I don't get saved every time I have diarrhea, but I do see God, which is similar. Now I'm just picturing an atheist in a foxhole

like coming out, being like, there's no God! You're like, that guy is the bravest man on the battlefield. Yeah. He's just out there burning villages and be like, yeah, we're all dust.

Go ahead and shoot me, you Iraqi son of a bitch when I die nothing. Yeah. It'd be fucking that'd be, that's the bravest guy

in the military right there. But it's also really funny that there's also only Christians and foxholes in the trenches because if you're at war, you're not sitting there going

look at God's creation. Yes, exactly. You're just like as you're getting just mowed up. You're not like, this is bad. Yeah. He really be out of you, huh? But it's so nice that he's,

It's not a really good sales pitch to me for you to be like, hey, with our thing, you have to be scared into it. You know what I mean? But also like you were talking about that whole like, believe in God or this will happen to you. Someone will shoot you in the fucking head. Like, not to pile on, but like that's literally how they get people to vote Republican. Like they use this game. You know what I mean? It's weird that those things are correlated.

Yeah. Big time. They're literally like, oh, you're a Democrat. Interesting. Cool. Well, call me after a Mexican comes and rapes you and shoot your daughter in the head. See what you think about it then. You're like, oh, I didn't know that was going to happen, dude.

Dude, I had a realization yesterday. Like, I was just walking around thinking about George W. Bush, as you do from time to time. And being like, man, the president's, the, because what really got me was like, everybody was, like, like, man, George W. Bush, like, Hunter Biden is a fuck up, right? Right. But he's the son of the president. He's not the president. Yeah. George W. Bush, who was the son of the president, and everybody was like, that

guy's a fuck up. And then he became president. Right. Which, if we're lucky, we get to vote for Hunter Biden. We'll get to happen again. We'll get to vote for Hunter Biden. That's such a funny point that you bring up, because, like, I've thought about that, too, like in terms of when everybody's talking shit about Hunter Biden and I'm like okay okay guys let's just say he is all these things he's not the president I don't give a shit like I don't yeah if he like if he truly is using like our taxpayer money or whatever to do all these things you person can send him to jail I don't give a fuck I don't care what you do with it like I don't know any I don't know any I don't know any Democrat who like spends any of their time going to bat for Hunter Biden most people I know go most people most Democrats I know go okay well he's not the president call me

he's the president. But if you think about it, and it's wild to think about this because back then, like, Twitter wasn't a thing, 24-hour news wasn't a thing, but like every single, your run is so right. Like everything you can say about Hunter Biden, they were saying about George W. Bush in the 80s, and then he became president. If it's illegal for your family to smoke crack, then send me to jail. You know what I'm saying? I'll be breaking the rules out here. And Drew has pointed this out a lot. that like all the things the Republicans are saying about Hunter Biden is like they're actually just making him sound so goddamn cool. And it's like, and it's like he is.

He's fucking cool as shit. And it shows you. It also shows you like how far, how uncool the Democrats have become. Because like we used to be the crack smoking hornyers. You know what I mean? That was our deal, baby. And now we're just like so stuffy with a pocket protector and shit following our rules.

Like, we're not cool. No. My favorite political thing from 20. I know you're most conservative, but I'm just speaking for... I'm a big Hunter Biden. My favorite politics moment this year was when they found that little bit of Coke in the White House, and they were like,

it's got to be Hunter. And I was like, it could be anybody. It could literally be anybody's going to White House. Wasn't it in like the tourist part of the White House? Like, I mean, it could have definitely been a toy. Like, any person can get into that

part of the White House and they're like, it's cocaine. which means in their eyes Hunter is just taking the White House tour for fun and then being like, where did I put my cocaine? It's just some

18 year old on a field drip. We found some hot sauce in the White House. I think it's Ryan's. It's got to be him. Well, guys, I'm fucking so pumped not only to hang out with y'all this third. Thursday in Asheville, by the way, Thursday, December 28th, we are all three of us at the gray Eagle. And I've been telling everybody who like, you know, I've, I've had, our fans have come to

see us every year in Asheville. We usually, when we're all together, we play the Orange Pill, but I'm coming by myself. And so I was trying to explain to people like, hey, you know, maybe you came to see the show at the Orange Pill back in February. But number one, I'm doing a completely new hour. Well, first of all, I'm doing an hour. You only saw me do 30 because I was up and program. I'm doing a completely new hour. You've never heard any of this shit. And also,

fucking good cop, rad cop's going to be with me. So I promise you, unless you were at our show in Knoxville at the Biju, you've never seen a Cory Forster show like this because there's going to be fucking rock and roll comedy music, baby.

Tell the, I want you to tell our fans, I want to know, me and you've talked about this, but it wasn't on the well-read podcast, about when you decided to give up on your dreams of being an actual stand-up comedian. I just want to let all of us

The good cop, Randolphians out there to want to know. If they want to see Ryan Darling solo, I'll be at 529 on January 10th. Oh, yeah, that's true. I have a date to plug. I'm not, Ryan, Ryan still does comedy. Dave still does stand up too.

Dave just did as part of the comedy catch. I did. I don't know when we started counting that as work, but, you know, I'm just turned talking to all shit. No, I mean, we didn't give up on that. We just don't do it as much. But yeah, we didn't.

We gave up on it. No, hold on a second. Because we do have a lot of people that listen to this show who are great fans, but their sarcasm meter isn't always great because I do, because I'll set. A lot of six-year-olds that listen to the kids? Ryan, are you making dumplings? Yeah, I'm making dumplings. Okay.

No, they're just, they're just, I don't know how to say this any other way than they're a specific type of people, which sarcasm doesn't always land. And I'll, we'll have comics on and I'll throw one of these like what in my brain is a clear, like sarcastic, you know, comedian dig. And they will literally be like, I can't believe that you said that. Do you really not like that person? I'm like, what are you fucking talking about? I'm recording with them. No, you are both great comedians. And you know that I have so much respect for what you do because what you're, you're going to, you're not.

y'all do is actually what if I had any courage, I would be doing because I'm a very musical person. I love writing songs and shit, but y'all have actually done it. Serious songs. I like that John Prine of stand-up kind of... Oh, for dick and balls humor. Was that something that like both of you individually had wanted to do it? You're drunk at JJ's one night. You both bring it up and you're like, well, let's just do it together.

No, it started out just more casual even than that. Ryan just figured out I had an electric piano that could play background music. That's pretty much all that happens. It was like, I was in a band. I was like, I write songs sometimes. Yeah, the first project we did was we covered a song by this band Pup. They released the lyrics and chords for a song without releasing a song. and then ask fans to submit versions of what they thought the song might sound like.

That's awesome. So me and Dave did a polka version of it with his keyboard. And it ended up, you know, they loved it. And like Andrew Michael, you probably know the comedian, Andrew Michael. I love Andrew Michael. He's friends with them, and they were like, one of our favorite versions was the polka version. And I was like, hey, that's ours. And then we just kind of were fucking around.

We were roommates during COVID. and then we stopped doing stand-up for that time period. And then, you know, after we got out of the pandemic, we thought we really didn't know if good cop, rat cop would be good live. We had no idea. We just didn't. Yeah, we were just kind of.

Running head first. Yeah, so we booked ourselves a couple shows. Drew and DJ took us out on the road a little bit. And then the response was overwhelmingly great. And so we just kind of kept. doing it and now we're approaching our third year as a live act. Yeah, and yeah. Was that wild to go?

Because, like, you know, y'all been doing stand-up for, you know, quite a while now. And, like, so obviously every time you go on stage, there's at least a little bit of nerves, even if you're doing, like, the same set you've been doing for a while in your polished. Because, like, Frank, at the end of the day, it's still ridiculous to go on stage and start talking to a group of people that you don't know. Like, in my opinion, if you don't ever have nerves, about that, you're a sociopath, which might

mean you're a great comment. You know what I mean? But I would assume that Jerry Seinfeld still gets good nervous. Like, it's not a bad nervous. It's like, it's more you're anxious. You're like, yes, let me get at, but you feel fucking something. But when you first start doing comedy, it's

not a good anxious. It's a bad anxious. It's like, holy shit, I'm going to fail. And then y'all had been doing stand-up for a while and had finally gotten over at least that part of it. And then did it come immediately back? Because you're like, this is new. I don't know. Like, we might fail and everyone's going to hate me because that's where my brain goes.

If I have a bad set, everyone hates me, they want to crucify me to a wall, chop my balls off and put them in my mouth. That totally came back. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Particularly, it's just like, sorry, if you're music bombs, then you're just like triple bombing. I don't. It's so bad.

It's so embarrassing to back out of a song. Yeah. All right, guys. Have you done it? Have you been like, okay, on in the next thing? We've definitely backed off of parts of songs where we were like, all right, this is not going well. Let's like drop this. And I mean, that's also the thing is like when we do a song for the first time live, it's going to be different than like what it is at its current state just because we don't know really where the punches are.

It's like crafting any kind of, it's like crafting a chunk. You know, like you go, all right, this isn't hitting. This is hidden. So like we're going to move this around and like figure out. a better way to intro songs and like there's a lot more to play with like the dynamics wise but I mean it is really frustrated I think now I get more nervous about playing new songs than I do kind about just like what we're going to do because like we kind of have our 25 minute like our feature set is pretty locked and loaded and right it doesn't I mean it doesn't bomb ever you know I've never

seen it bomb it's great so like we are kind of locked in at a good spot right now. But, yeah, I mean, I still get nervous before. Not every show, but a lot of shows. I'm more anxious to just get out there. Yeah, yeah. Because once you tell the first joke or pluck the first fucking chord and it immediately starts going well,

like it's not nerves anymore. You're floating on air. It's the fucking best, you know? But when you're backstage, you're in this moment of it could still go bad. You know what I mean? I try to make myself feel that way, honestly. I feel like if we don't feel that at all, then we suck.

Or at least it's not as good if there's not a little bit of fear. Yeah. Do you feel like, no, you close a lot of shows, you know, or, you know, and have a headline a lot. If you feel like the show is going on too long, are you getting kind of like, I feel like the audience gets fatigued after, I mean, honestly, after an hour, they start getting. a little cold, but like we did a show where we weren't on until like the two, two hours and five minute mark the other night. And I was like, nobody gives a shit to be here.

I think, you know, and it's hard. That's what it gets hard. I mean, all of our well-read shows are scheduled to be 90 minutes, but almost every time we go over, like, especially on the second show, we're like, okay, the club doesn't give it. Like, we always ask the club. We're like, first show, we'll do tight 90 because we have to change the room over. second show, if they go, hey guys, just have fun, then we just have fun.

And like, we've definitely done some like two hour plus shows. And my thing with that is like, I do think if it's a stand-up show that like just a general stand-up show that people didn't know who was on it and they just wanted to go see a show and therefore it's a bunch of like, you know, sometimes amateur comedians, like, yeah, longer is worse because you're going to see the holes in that. But I do think that if in our case, we don't have random. people in the crowd. They don't know who the fuck we are. You're not fans and they want to see you go along and do like interesting shit. Yeah. And also, we are crushing. Like, you know, if we,

if we were all having bad set, I'm certain that there's been shows we've done where we're but like my point is though, like I also think and we're all three, we fit in a similar package, but we're all different. Like, we're all enough different. And like, I'm very high energy. So I think my set goes by like a breeze. Then they get to Drew. He's a little bit more surly. So it's a little bit different. Then by the time they get to Trey, it's like, well, he's the guy we came here to see. So I don't think that's true. But like with y'all, like, y'all are so different that I think if you're given the audience variety, they don't know that it's been too long. If you have like a show with 10 white dudes who all tell the same types of joke way too long. But if you've got 10 comics, all of whom are different,

I think it goes about like a breeze. So like I don't think anyone's ever been watching y'all and thought this has been going on too long. I think that's all in your head. It's been really fun lately where we'll go out to shows and we've started to see people coming out who will either recognize us from being online or who have come out to that show specifically for us. Yeah. They want you to do four hours. Which is like happening very frequently now, which is really neat because like I mean I would have really when I started comedy, I never thought I would really get to the point where people were actually buying tickets to just come see me that I didn't even know them at all. And that's really, I mean,

it really is kind of, I'm always beside myself when that happens. And usually it's either somebody from, uh, well-read podcast or from EFF who's like heard of us or like, I mean, some other shit that are like, oh, we've heard you on this thing and like we came out. And it's just, it's been really wild to experience that. And, um, I mean, some other shit. And, um, it's just, it's been really wild to experience that. Those are, that's, I always try and hope those people are in the crowd and try and play for them if we can. Because, like, it's pretty wild. I think it's like, you know, to a lot of people, the Irishman was way too long. Mm-hmm.

But, but, no, I'm just saying. But if Scorsese is your favorite director and you're the biggest De Niro fan ever, it wasn't long enough. You know what I mean? Because you're like, I'll watch this motherfucker do his thing all day. I feel like I am a huge Scorsese guy, still think it was a little too long. But do you know what I'm saying? It was. There's been-

And De Niro looked a little too old. My God, dude. It was weird. It was weird. That was confusing to follow. I was kind of surprised he had no Irish superpowers. Right. But like,

a movie called Irish man. But like, dude. He had some jealous got drunk. I might get some shit from this, probably from y'all. but like Titanic and Irishmen are like the same length. Like they're the same length movie. But not, I've never heard anybody say the Titanic was too long.

Never. I mean, maybe somebody, yeah, right. The Titanic's new shits like the Irishman was very slow, very methodical, whatever.

The Titanic, new shit's happening. There's a fucking iceberg. Also, like, as much as I love Scorsese, I think the Titanic's a better movie. It is a better movie.

It's a better. So that's fucking rocks. So that's my point is like, two things can be the same. length, but one feels long and the other one doesn't. And I think comedy's the same way. If it's done well, people never want to leave. You know what I mean? Like they never want to leave. But yeah, if it's going bad, it's like, let's wrap this fucking shit up. Yeah, a five minute, a bad five minute set can feel like an hour. Yes. A good hour can feel like a very good five minute set.

Oh, dude, like we were in Nashville this past weekend. And when we're all together, we're doing like 30, 30, 30, maybe trail will do a little bit more. And because there's crowds were so high, and our material was so sharp. I thought I was at, I thought I'd done eight minutes and I looked down and I'm at 32. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Because it just like, I'm like, there's no fucking way that I've only, this is too easy and it's too. So yeah, yeah, that's a good. I think I'm a God. It's funny because I don't feel that way

any other time except when I'm in Nashville specifically at Zanis because I'm like, I could have had like terrible sets all leading up to that. and I'll go to Zanis, and every time I come off stage, I'm like, there's no one in the world as good as me. I'm the funniest person of all time. When like there's so many people. Well, back to another thing you were talking about before I hijacked it,

you were talking about backing out of a song like, oh, this isn't going well. For people that didn't really understand the parlance or whatever, like when you're doing stand up, when you're on stage and you're trying, maybe a new bit or whatever, you can tell pretty immediate. like maybe by the premise like this isn't going to work. So you won't necessarily say to the crowd, let's try something else. You'll just bail from the joke and try your best to like have a segue that makes it seem like you didn't bail, but you get out of there. Now, when I was early on and stand up, I would never get out of there because I was like, no, I have to tell the whole thing.

You know what I mean? Even if it's going bad, then I got better. And I was like, if something's not going good, bail, it's no problem. They don't know that you're bailing on something. They didn't check your set list first. But now that I'm older and I think better at it, now I've gone back to I'm not bailing. I'm still going to do it. You know what I mean?

I'm saying here forever. Because it's like an ego thing. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. I know it's not going good right now, but this is why I'm good. I'll get them. And then sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. But my point is, yeah. But when y'all are on there, I'm in charge of my whole fucking show because it's just me.

I'm the performer. I'm the editor. I do all this. Y'all are together. So in order for y'all to decide we're going to bail on something, Your chemistry has to be fucking amazing. So, like, how good are y'all now at, like, almost telepathic? Let's fucking do this.

We have strong telepathy. Yeah, 100%. We're very in sync with each other. I can tell with a single glance exactly what Ryan's feeling about how a set is going, how the whole show is going, who his least favorite comic on the show was. Which guy in the crowd is pissing him off the most? Yeah. I can tell

yeah it is very funny yeah I'm a little bit more active I can also tell we're having a good set if me and Dave are if me and Dave are laughing a lot on stage yeah

like like there there was a set we just had in Charleston where they we were having so much fun they forgot the words to the song and and we were just like having a hard time

catching up oh it was better than if I had known the words. I had to like remind him of the words and like it just like things were making sense. And I mean, we're on a level now where it's like we're very present when we're there and very connected. And so like the only time we've really had a bad set where was like we had not, it might have been like our fifth show ever. It was our first time playing in Atlanta, ironically enough. And we played, we played a, I'll never forget this show. A laughing skull satellite show. So it wasn't. at the skull. So it was five people showed up. The five people who bought tickets were five, I would want to say from ages 50 to 65 year old. Your target. Oh, even better. Not a huge span of just two white guys doing their things. And I mean, and it wasn't their like they didn't one, they didn't like anybody on the show. Yeah. So no one had a good set. We

all just kind of sat there and we all bombed for these ladies. But me and Dave were like, we don't know how to get out of this. And so we just committed as hard as we've ever committed ever to anything. And the comics loved it. Just hit the piano. I mean, the comics loved it. The comics thought it was amazing because we just were like, yeah, we know we're bombing, but we're going to pretend like we're not.

That's all you can do. Yeah. And matter of fact, I respect that because the other way to go is to just continue bombing but not even try, which like- Really obliged that you're bombing. Yes. I hate you guys. But like at the same time, like, you know, I've, and I had to be taught this lesson by

like more experienced comedians. Like I'd go up and like I do feel like it is so natural. You match the energy of the audience. if you come out and your first joke murders and the audience is great, you're going up a gear. Like without even thinking about it, you're going up a gear. But then if the audience is dull, you end up getting down to their level and thus like giving a bad show because you're like, well, what the fuck?

They don't like it anyways. But what you fail to realize is like, what if there was a person in there despite all these, it seems like it's going bad that was really enjoying this. And they paid their harder money to see you and they took off work and got somebody. So you still got to do it. the fucking show. Like you can't. It's like Jesus, like you don't, you know, like you leave the 99 to find the one.

You know, if there's the one there, fuck the night. Like, you just do the best show. You're contractually obligated to at least fucking try for the people that do want to see you. And whether you can tell if they're there or not. And fuck contractually. Like your ego should make you go, I can get them back. And I've seen comics do it. We're like, they get up and like the crowd's bullshit.

But they're like, they just click another gear and they're like, no, no, no, not tonight. I need this to work, and it just, you know, it fucking does. Here's something about y'all that I wanted to bring up that I get jealous about is that because there's two of you, and obviously you're performing in, you know, harmony together a lot, like you're both doing the same thing, you're singing this particular song, but then there's the occasion where, you know, Dave, for instance, will have a solo and, you know, Dave will, you know, take his shirt off and he'll be rolling on the floor in the front.

And what I get jealous of is you, Ryan, who you get to be on stage performing, which is awesome and it's its own high. But then you also get to be an audience member and watch Dave do all of that shit. And then Dave gets to do the same. Let's go. But I was saying, but Dave does the same like when you're doing your thing. Dave gets to like just enjoy your part. And like that's a very unique thing. I feel like my, the, for me with that is.

is a, uh, uh, uh, Ryan riffs. He has some good rips sometime and good crowd interactions that are equivalent to ripping your shirt off and rolling around. Sure. And I'm just kind of standing up there and I'm like, well, I got nothing, but I do get to be an audience. I'm more of like the crowd where I'm quick on my feet like with the crowd kind of things. So I'll be able to like jump back and forth doing like more crowd work stuff and the davell. Those moments, it, it feels like cheating because we're getting laughs. I'm not doing anything. Yeah.

And I mean, during a kazzo or what Dave is throwing his shirt up, like one of the better things we've come up with lately is Dave, when he throws his shirt off, throws it over my face. So he's rolling around and then I'm literally just trying to figure out where I am on stage. And I have not stepped on Dave yet, but it will happen eventually. This Thursday in Asheville, baby. I mean, so that's become fun and then it's just more fun for the. the audience to see but yeah i mean it's a good like the biggest thing i also think with acting in general is just like anybody can say a line but having to sit there and watch somebody talk yeah

that's like acting too and so yeah well most acting is reacting yeah yeah and so trying to find a way to enjoy like what dave is doing and fine and i mean honestly there'll be times where he'll crack me up so much like he'll end up on the ground and sometimes i'll be so focused on the audience. I'm not even paying attention to Dave. And next thing I know I'll be looking over and Dave's like on his hands and knees and doing some shit that I've never seen before

and I'll just start laughing. And then like I'll watch. Yeah, and I'll watch tape, you know, and I mean, sometimes there's plenty. I don't see that we're doing that when I see it on tape that I'm like I mean, we're all just be laughing being like, we're the best thing that's

ever happens. It's like we're so fucking entertaining. Like, there's no way around it. Like, we're one of the most entertaining fucking things you'll ever see. Couldn't agree more. Yeah, no, I mean, I genuinely couldn't agree more because I wouldn't have, if y'all were not that, I wouldn't have had you on the show just because you're my friends. No.

There was a time in my life where I would have had you on the show just because you were my friends, but not anymore. This is how I, this is how, this is the mortgage. I have to make sure people always want to come back to the Corey Ryan Forster show. That's the truth. But, but no, I mean, I fucking. Yeah, I love that shit. I love how entertaining you are.

And also that you crack each other up. That's fun. And I do want to know this about like the work rate and how it's different than just write and stand up. Because like for me, every now and then, here's what I do. I constantly am taking notes in my phone. And when I think of like a premise or I think of a punchline. But I'm not actually like really writing. I'm just like, oh, that'd be funny.

That'd be funny. And then every now and then I will sit down and go, okay, go through your notes, get all the ones. and then go, okay, how do I do this? But usually what I'll do is I'll like working out on stage. But with you guys, number one, I know that you're collaborating. But number two, like, I know right now you've got like, okay, this is our 25 minutes. This is what we do. And occasionally I'm sure you'll be like, let's throw the new one in this spot.

Let's just try and mix it up. But like, how often are you guys writing new shit and are you going, hey, we need to write a new song? Or is it just, hey, Dave, I just thought of something on the toilet. Let's do this. When we do come up with stuff, it's the latter. We've been kind of in a dead spot right now. I was going to bring it up, but I'm glad you did. More of the writing that we're doing right now is trying to perfect little pieces of the act.

Make it cohesive. Yeah, well, I think we're kind of, we want to write new material or at least a new song, but we're kind of in a place where we're more interested in coagulating the whole set into being like the strongest whatever 25, 30 minutes possible where there's just literally no room. We want people to throw up. Which by the way, yeah, no, that's great. We've gotten so close.

And that's old, that's old school, by the way. And everybody take note. In my opinion, that's how it should be done. We live in a fucking world where it's like, no, new content, new content, new, new, where nobody's working anything out anymore, like they're getting a premise, right in the little part, then filming it and then throwing it away. But like, there's such an old school. mentality of like, no, no, no. I mean, yes, you should, if you have a new idea, write it down,

but like, make what you've got really, really fucking good before you bail on it and like before you put it in front of people. You know what I mean? That's kind of, I feel like that's kind of where we stand right now. We just, yeah, nothing has really hit us where we're like, we want to invest time working this new concept or whatever. But we've had plenty of ideas where we're like, okay, we can shove a little joke into this. We can change this lyric here. We can add a little beat or some kind of a silly solo or something. Yeah, like we'll rewrite. I mean, truck jeans beer situation is almost lyrically completely different. Yeah, it's not been rewritten like six times. Yeah, that song's been rewritten six times. Motel's been

rewritten. We've, I mean, we've thrown away more stuff than we've kept. If anything, we're doing more rewrites than we're doing regular writing. Absolutely. Yeah, because it's just like, we'll find stuff and figure out where to tweak it and how to make it good to where it's like, because like one thing I'll notice with a lot of comedy songs is a lot of comic comedy songs are like clever and they're, oh, that's like a fun, good song. But they're like a laugh maybe every minute you might strike a laugh where we're trying to get

to that almost like stand up speed of like. 15 seconds just like you get a pop and not just like a pop but like building to like applause break like level like explosion explosive laughter and so like it's all about like building those dynamics with a mix of audience participation but not in an audience participation of like what do you do for a living as much as it's like instead of asking one person to do something we have the ability to get the whole crowd on board with something which I think is. one huge advantage of musical comedy that a lot of, you know, crowd work or crowd interaction stuff is, is like when you're working a crowd, you're really only working one person where like when we work a crowd, we're literally working the entire crowd. Hey, everybody. This is a bummer. Oh, also if you're on video, say hey to Bain. If you're on audio, I have my baby with me. This sucks. I just cut Ryan off mid-sentence. That's because our whole system crash. Luckily, we were.

We're basically done with the podcast, but it is a bummer because we had a couple more things to talk about. But what are you going to do? Technology, right? Anyways, hey, if you're listening to this, when it airs on Wednesday, come out tomorrow and I to the Grey Eagle in Asheville, North Carolina, to see me and the boys good cop rad cup. Not only will you be supporting comedy, but you'll also be buying this little baby here, a new shirt or something. You know what I mean? I hope y'all had a wonderful Christmas and hope your new year is tremendous. Remember that you can go to Drew Morgancom to see wherever Drew's at.

Trey Crowder.com. Trey's got so many dates in 2024, some of which I'll be hopping on. I'm certain, but go see him. And as for me, at bonus cory.com, which is my substack, I just put out a Christmas special. It's called a Chicka-Looky Christmas Carol. I did a Southern retailing of Charles Dickens Classic, a Christmas Carol. And I think that you'll really enjoy it. And for $5 a month, you get stuff like that at bonus cory.com, completely ad-free.

You can also join for free. You don't have to pay anything a month. But, you know, you'll get things later. And there's more bonus things I do for the paid subscribers. You get it. But it's a fun time. And I really have a blast. Hey, bud.

And I really have a blast. it. Grab our book round here and over yonder available wherever you get books. What else? I think that's it other than just I love y'all. We all love y'all. Thank you for once again supporting the well-read podcast this year. It has been a very, very fun year. We look forward to 2024 where we will hit a couple milestones. I think we'll be, we'll get to our 400th episode, which is really crazy. I think it's more than 400 because at some point I think I started numbering them wrong. Maybe y'all noticed that.

But yeah, man, it's really crazy that we're still here. We're still doing it. And it's fun. So, Treycrader.com, Drew Morgan Comedy.com, and bonus Corey.com. Come join us over on Substack. It's a whole lot of fun. And say bye, buddy. Bye, buddy.

All right. Y'all have a great day. Love you. See ya. Bye.