wellRED podcast - #376 - Are All Lawyers Sh*tty?

Episode Date: January 24, 2024

  Trae worked a Lawyers Conference this past weekend and it brought to mind all of those Lawyer jokes we'd hear as kids that painted them all in a bad light... our Chief Lawyer Correspondent  Drew ...Drew Dollars lays out the case for why he thinks those jokes are told that way!   This leads the boys into some more lawyer talk: What is Tort? Who are considered the sleaziest lawyers? Before out of nowhere the fellers started talking about an old Vietnam Vet who has gone viral streaming first person shooter games!   Go to LectricEbike.com to get your very own Lectric Bike, and make sure you tell em we sent ya!   Check out Trae on tour: TraeCrowder.com   Check out Drew on Tour: DrewMorganComedy.com   Check out Corey's substack: BonusCorey.com   Corey is also now offering Subscriptions on Instagram and has already debuted a new series and a new character on there, so if you follow him on instagram (@CoreyRForrester) consider supporting his silliness financially!   Drew and Corey BOTH are on Cameo, so if you are looking for a unique gift, look no further!   We really appreciate you all continuing to support this podcast and we love you very much!

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion. Because used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.
Starting point is 00:00:19 It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie, I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now, skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people, people across the skew universe, I should say. Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year? Do you even know? Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery,
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Starting point is 00:02:02 pertinent two years now or something like that. Also, a fun one, I'd said it before, but I had a, I got an app, lovely little app where you could, you know, put your friends' faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got, I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies, you know, those weren't a little like the Q-ball looking twin fellas. Yeah. So that was money. What was that a reply gift for?
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Starting point is 00:04:08 Is this still cold? There's been cold all around everywhere else, but, you know. So it's, uh, I think it's 35 today, but it absolutely feels like the summer because it's been like 12. So it's been cold out here too People out here have been really struggling lately About 54, 53 some days Been rough winds blowing It didn't get down to 36 one night
Starting point is 00:04:31 And I had to go somewhere early that next day Really? I made a video And you know you can do in the Instagram Like you can just put the weather It was 37 Can you believe that shit, Trey? You and Mark, I kind of
Starting point is 00:04:43 Because when I first moved out here Y'all took a trip out here And we took a whole bunch of pictures We spent like all day Taking pictures with a photographer we started early that morning in my backyard, and it was like 34 that morning, and I had just gotten here, and I was, so it was like January, February, it was this time of year, and I was like, I didn't think, I didn't think y'all did this, this is horseshit, but the photographer, she was an
Starting point is 00:05:03 Angelino, and she was saying, she was like, this almost never happens, fuck this, this sucks, so. But also the valley's different, right? I don't know, you and Mark on our group chat the other night, we're talking about how, like, but it is cold out here. People don't understand. See, California cold is different. It's a dry cold, and it's, you know. It feels colder.
Starting point is 00:05:19 Yeah. But I think that's funny to literally anyone from anywhere else to hear that argument. It depends on where they live. If they live in a desert, dude, deserts get cold. Yeah. Also, you leave the house and it's 50, so you throw on a hoodie, then the wind starts blowing, and it's dry, and it cuts through your hoodie, and you're like, fuck this. Whereas back home, you'd better go out and walk the dog. It's 34.
Starting point is 00:05:42 You throw on a bigger coat. Dude, I was in Tennessee. It was in the 30s and 20s some days. and it felt colder here walking back when it was in the 50s. Y'all got that wind, that ocean wind. We do got that wind. Wind be winning. Wind do be wind on hit.
Starting point is 00:05:59 But I maintain that a dry cold still better than a wet cold. Well, it's a moist cold is what you'd be comparing it to. If it's rain, obviously, you're fucked. Speaking of wind, I think I told you all this, but I think I said on here, when I had a show in Chicago in like December, November, December, and like, and at one point I was walking around that day, walking around Wicker Park. Why? And, well, I was going to get something to eat, but also, like, I've never been in the
Starting point is 00:06:26 Wicker Park part, which is like kind of a... Is that the bean? Boogey? No, it's like a... I mean, hell, I don't know. I'll get it wrong if I... I just know it's like a historic, nice neighborhood in Chicago where all the houses are expensive and shit.
Starting point is 00:06:38 But anyway, I was walking around at one point and unironically had the thought in my head, because I was like doing this, like hugging myself and stuff. And I was like, God damn, I didn't realize Chicago was such a... Windy City, right? Like, I thought that. And then I, like, laughed at myself because I was like, oh, right. They literally call it that. But I was, like, getting so mad at the wind in Chicago because I was like, why don't people
Starting point is 00:06:57 bring this up? And then I was like, they do all the time. They bring it up. We did it. We used to do it in the summer. And then we did it once in January or February. And I just remember being furious. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:09 It was cold. Amber came. Like, it was miserable. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it don't hit. And I went, I was just in Charlottethethfield, Virginia where it was like 14, but I went from, I came from there, I came to there from Miami. And I think Miami and LA are like the only two parts of this country that haven't been
Starting point is 00:07:27 frigid cold over the past week. But I was in Miami, as you know, Drew, because I was doing stand-up at a logger conference. And so I thought we'd talk about loggers for a bit because Chau I wanted to ask you, like, me and Drew helped me like get ready for the show. We talked about a lot of stuff, including like two main things. Number one, it's. It's like, lawyers have their own genre of jokes, right? Just like blonde jokes, Polish jokes, whatever, all that. You know, all the different jokes. Loggers have theirs, and theirs are always like, the punch sign is that they're, you know, sleazy,
Starting point is 00:08:01 pieces of shit. Assholes, right, exactly. Like, blondes are dumb. It's funny, most of them are just dumb. Blondes are dumb. Rednecks are dumb. Rednecks also fucked their cousins. Polacks are dumb.
Starting point is 00:08:09 Rednecks are also racist. Rednecks are a bunch of ones. But, yeah, Polacks are dumb. Blons are dumb. Blons are whores. Rednecks are the Polacks of America for sure. Blons are whores. Yeah, hoars too.
Starting point is 00:08:22 Yeah, right. Blons are huge sluts. Well, so many, loggers are supposed to be, you know, just awful, right? Which I feel like makes people, like, from a very young age, distrust loggers. And, A, Corey, I just wonder what your theory is on how that happened, because B, I don't think that's a good thing. It's not. People, you should trust your law. lawyer. It's like a, it almost feels like some kind of sigh-op or something. Those jokes should have
Starting point is 00:08:51 always been like about corporate lawyers instead of just lawyers in general, you know? Yeah. I think it's because of commercials. Like sleazy, slipping Jimmy ambulance chase for commercials? Yeah, I think most commercials you see it's that and then the thing I told you when we were talking about it. And I think I've said this on here before. It's also like you meet your lawyer, you're having a bad situation. most of the time he or she cannot make it simply go away. So it's like you associate them. You know, I went through this divorce. That bitch cheated on me.
Starting point is 00:09:23 She took my kids. She took my house. And at the end of it, this motherfucker wanted to tell me I owe him 10 grand. He didn't do a goddamn thing. That was my theory, was that the people who write jokes have been to divorce court more than most people. That's actually, yeah, that's what we came up with too. That's what I wrote down. I don't remember if I think I did say, because we, um,
Starting point is 00:09:43 You know, you figure a lot of those jokes probably started to originate, but for a long time, people didn't mostly get divorced. Then people started getting divorced more regularly around mid-century or whatever, and then all of a sudden all these, you know. Jokes popped up. Lawyer jokes pop up. It's not like in the Depression, they were like, what's a lawyer? Right. Yeah, but the other thing about loggers, Joe, that I realized, because, you know, I used to think it would kind of hit to be a lawyer for a while there. And I think maybe subconsciously part of it was because.
Starting point is 00:10:09 You would hear the phrase wrap it up a lot said to you. Well, but there are, well, actually... Get to the point, are they... Can they be, uh, are lawyers verbose or succinct, stereotypically? They're supposed to be succinct. Yeah. I mean, stereotypically, a lot of them are blowhards.
Starting point is 00:10:25 There's a lot of ego involved in trial work. Right. So, yeah, I can figure that out. But anyway, I think subconsciously, Cho, it's because it's like the only smart job outside of writer, maybe if you, if you, you know, consider writer to be a smart job where you're allowed to be from the South. Me and you talk about this. last week. I just remembered. We did. On POA, we did. I forgot about that. But anyway.
Starting point is 00:10:48 We did, but we didn't go that much in depth with it, and we certainly didn't have a Southern lawyer to give us his opinion on it, so I think it's fair play. Yeah, I mean, you nailed it with the smart job thing. Professor, maybe, but it's got to be literature. Civil war. That's what I said. Yeah. Yeah. And that's probably it. And even then, it's got to be deep south. Thank you. It's exactly what I said. It's got to be that,
Starting point is 00:11:13 now I tell you, I do declare. When the evil Mr. Sherman came down, you know. That dog won't hunt, Yonna. Yeah. It can't be. So when did you put on the ski mask,
Starting point is 00:11:24 Reggie? Right. Right. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Cho, you think you could have been a lawyer? So in this scenario,
Starting point is 00:11:34 my brain functions, correct? What does that mean? like differently than it actually does? No, you're just, you're you in the scenario. So no, your brain don't hit. Okay. I think that if I had a really good paralegal who could help me like with the research part,
Starting point is 00:11:53 that'd be the only part that I would struggle with is like the discovery and all. But if we're talking about just like arguing in court, fuck yeah. You know, but my problem would be is that I would stay in contempt. you know what I mean that's the opposite would be the case tell us why you think so because of his personality the judge is the most important person there
Starting point is 00:12:15 you're going to see him every day he's going to want to hit for the judge and you would hit for the judge yeah that's fair you know what Drew's taught me into it I'd hit his lawyer but like what about the how you think he'd fair in law school though oh terribly
Starting point is 00:12:32 okay now I did I did horribly you don't right what? Technically, you don't have to... It depends on the state. Okay. It used to be... If you didn't have to go all... You could just be a lawyer. That used to be the case everywhere.
Starting point is 00:12:45 Now, many states have a door. You do have to have a degree to even register for the bar. Okay. But there's a few where you don't. I think me now, like, let's say hypothetically, Amber was all the sudden out of the picture or whatever, and I had someone was like, hey, yo, you're 30 comedy's not working out. Go, you can go to law school.
Starting point is 00:13:06 Like me as when I was student age, I was the worst fucking student ever. But the older I've gotten, and I don't know whether it's just like, man, learning sure is fun. I wish I'd have done that. Like, I am a little bit more of a studious person now. So like, I think if you drop 36-year-old Corey in law school, I'd do good. But yeah, dude, 20-year-old Corey? The first year is extremely dry and extremely disorienting for most people in terms of what they're trying to do to your brain. and I don't think you'd do well with that,
Starting point is 00:13:38 and that's not a comment on your intelligence at all. I did horribly with it. The second and third year where you get to pick more of your classes and it's a lot more practical, I agree with you. And you may do good in the first year. I just don't think, like, what would be your driving force here? Like, gone to your head every day? Sure, are you capable of it?
Starting point is 00:13:58 But, like, at some point, it's like, did you do the reading? No, because all we do is we go to this fucking room and you asked us questions and that kid has a meltdown but because I have some moxie I'll argue with you and everyone thinks I'm brilliant that's what happened to me everyone thought I was brilliant and lost
Starting point is 00:14:13 they legitimately were afraid of me because I had the worst fucking grades because I wasn't afraid of the professors yeah you start arguing with mine too I would say shit like yeah I don't know and it would blow their fucking mind that you could just be like
Starting point is 00:14:26 yeah I'm an idiot I always found that hit for professors professors love it I'm coming with the other kid because I know I'm saying the other students would be like what the fuck is wrong with this guy but then the professor would be like, smile, like, this guy hits for me.
Starting point is 00:14:38 Yeah, right. Yeah, right. I think that all three of us are very like, if something is our passion, we can do it. And there's nothing that would stop us from doing it. But then there's some people who like, they can put in the work whether the thing hits for them or not. And you're correct, I'm not that person.
Starting point is 00:14:56 Like if something really hits for me, there's not, I'm not going to let any obstacle get in the way of me achieving that. But like, I got to be, my dick's got to. be hard and it probably wouldn't be hard. Dude, all these like third tier law schools, I mean, they're like 50 grand a year. They're basically a scam.
Starting point is 00:15:12 But they're so fucking... Hold on the way, 50 grand. What is that? That's like you're saying that's crazy low for a law school? No, that's exactly what my law school costs. Okay. So you're saying even the shitty ones cost just as much. The top 10, except for unless they're like public, like Michigan,
Starting point is 00:15:28 are about 100 probably a year, maybe 75. And then after that, everything's like 55, including the worst one. I was going to say you could probably go to those Joe just like figure out the schedule and just show up it's not like there's going to be like
Starting point is 00:15:44 cards that you got to beep into the door at these places because trust me they're spending as little money as possible in order to turn a profit it would be interesting just to audit law school we'll buy your books with illegally with well-reads yeah illegally that's an interesting
Starting point is 00:16:00 oh I know how to get the books don't worry about that I figure that out He was a bookman for a while. And then... I was a bookman. I think Montana, and there's a couple other states, you wouldn't have to have the degree.
Starting point is 00:16:12 You could just go take the bar exam. I think that would be interesting to do as like a case study of like, you know, you're like, I'm more mature now, but I feel like the older you get, it's harder to learn shit because your brain has already formed and it's like, I got all this shit in here and you're not as much of a sponge, you know,
Starting point is 00:16:31 but I am more mature, so I don't fucking know. So one thing I want to ask you about in a second I'll come back to is the mercenary status of lawyers and stuff for some of these lawyers anyway. But, Joe, the thing I'll hit for you going to a lawyer conference. This is a big trial lawyer conference, by the way. So this is just like criminal defense and civil plaintiff people, basically. And a lot of like partners in big law firms are there. Like they gave an award to the dude who took forward to the, you know, fucking.
Starting point is 00:17:03 cleaners for $1.8 billion or something because of the way their hood, the roofs crumpled. Oh, shit. Right, like that type of thing, right? That guy got an award for doing that like that. But anyway, and these dudes,
Starting point is 00:17:18 being these like, been these billion dollar settlements and shit and partners these big law firms show, the trophy wife situation is unreal. No, I guarantee it. It's insane. Like, it's just like, you know.
Starting point is 00:17:33 Plast. Platt. Or young? Not crazy young. You know what I mean? She's like, she's probably 50, but she looks 38 or 40. And yes, she's kind of plasticed up and is wearing a very borderline, like, is it inappropriate?
Starting point is 00:17:49 Yes. It's like, is it professional or slutty or somehow both. Is she working? Outfit, right? Yeah, like that type of thing. And most of the ones I met seemed like Southern debutante or whatever. Nice. Did you have a fucking show on food next?
Starting point is 00:18:03 work or something? Like, that's what they seem like, which none of that's surprising, you know. I bet their cars are pretty rad, too, you know, but I didn't see any of those. Yeah, a lot of them go for luxury because it's like considered ghost to go for a sports car. But I love a lawyer who doesn't give a
Starting point is 00:18:19 fuck about that. Yeah. We had this one that taught us trial practice. Dude, literally, we'd walk in, he would just tell us a story about a time he hit real hard. Right. And then we'd go to the bar. That was the whole trial practice class. The one thing I remember he taught us was, when you're pointing, don't have a point with your finger.
Starting point is 00:18:37 You point with your whole hand. Judges and juries don't like it if you point at them. Right. That makes sense. You guys want beers? Yeah. That was the whole thing. Right. And if they ask you a question you don't like, you just look at them, you go, did I ask you
Starting point is 00:18:51 what you ate for breakfast? He told us that almost every day. I still have no idea what you're supposed to do with it. But he was super fucking rich. He walked on to the Patriots when he was like 22, and he was still, Jim Marciano, I think's his name. Like, he was fucking jacked and he was rich. Dude, he would, I mean,
Starting point is 00:19:08 he would spend $1,000 a week taking us to the bar. I mean, that's awesome. And he had a sweet Corvette. He didn't give a fuck about looking gauche. The mercenary thing, another guy that got honored at this conference I was at, who got an award from him, has represented in recent years he was both
Starting point is 00:19:26 Jared Kushner and also Hunter Biden's attorney. Yeah. It's a niche world. Right, I'm just saying, but it's like, at that level, if you need a logger in a situation, either one of them or in, yeah, exactly. There's no like tribalism or something when it comes to that type of shit. It's just like, well, this is the dude, you know.
Starting point is 00:19:51 Yeah. But also, loggers, people inherently understand that about them, I feel like, like, as divided as shit is right now, I don't think anybody is going to be surprised or upset to hear that that guy did that. Do you know what I mean? Like nobody. Nobody's going to be like, how could you?
Starting point is 00:20:08 Some idiots. Maybe it goes back to like the stereotypes about lawyers or whatever. They're like, well, of course he doesn't have any loyalty. I think people are generally upset by it. And then that's enough. So they're not surprised. Right. They have low expectations.
Starting point is 00:20:19 They're like, well, yeah, he did the shitty thing lawyers do. Yeah. You know, it's like, I don't expect serial killers not to kill. You know, it would be like somebody being like, that serial killer only killed black men? He's a racist. Yeah. be like, well, all right, well, that's a fair point, but he's also a fucking serial killer.
Starting point is 00:20:35 Dude, speaking of that type of shit, I just recently watched the Lincoln Lawyer for the first time. Like, I'd never seen it. The movie is a show. It's great. No, the movie. Yeah, Matthew McCona. Yeah, it does it. I really enjoyed it.
Starting point is 00:20:48 I thought Ryan Felipe was awesome. That twist was nice. But regardless, like, McConaughey, at one point in a movie, it's like towards the, towards the middle, I think, he runs into this dude who he don't hit for. because McConaughey had gotten this dude who, like, very clearly murdered someone off. And the dude was on his ass, like, how do you sleep at night? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. This guy murdered, blah, blah, blah. And McConaughey's like, yes, I agree with you that he did.
Starting point is 00:21:15 He's like, however, they planted evidence. They, you know, took this away from blah, blah, blah. The way that they handled it was a miscarriage of justice. And I am for the justice system. So, like, get him on murder, but don't do some illegal shit having to do it. And I was like, man, as shitty as that is, like, I'm glad that there's dudes like that who were like, look, man, if we're going to do this, we've got to do it the right fucking way. Well, if they get away with it in the case for the guy's guilty, then they're going to get away with it in the case where the guy's not guilty. You know, justice is a process, not an outcome.
Starting point is 00:21:48 Yeah. And that's like the hardest thing to wrap your brain around, I think, when you're entering into that world or trying to like think about it honestly. Justice is not what happened at the end of the trial. It is everything that led up to it and then the process. I feel like that's a revelation a lot of people have about lawyers depending on where they're at philosophically and politically and a bunch of other shit. But I didn't learn that from Matthew McConaugan and the Lincoln lawyer, show. I actually learned that from Drew when we first met, basically, because we talked about this too. No, no, no, me too for the record.
Starting point is 00:22:18 It reminded me of Drew, which is why it hit for me and I wanted to say it. He never remembered anything I said. Because I have. I'm just kidding. Years and years ago, we hadn't known each other like a couple months. He was the first lawyer I ever knew, right? I mean, you're kind of still the only lawyer I really know now to think about it other than your buddies who have met. Handsome Jake was in town and I wanted to talk about that, but go ahead.
Starting point is 00:22:36 Anyway, and I asked him, we're like drinking a bar one night after a show or something I don't remember. And I asked him so stupidly. I'm like, like, 25 or something. And I was like, so you're a public defender. Like, have you ever had to represent somebody who you, you know, you were pretty sure was like, you know, guilty? right? And he just started like dying, laughing, you know. And I was like, what the hell? He's like, I fuck you. I hope they're guilty. You know, he's like, if they're guilty, I'm playing with house money.
Starting point is 00:23:07 Then the pressure's off. I just got to get a plea deal. He's like, if they're innocent, they need a better lawyer because fuck that shit. But also, as a public defender, so many of them are guilty, right? But like that, or like they're getting fucked. They did something, but they're getting, like, that type of That's probably the most common thing. That type of nuance is the stuff. You trumped up charges and shit. That type of nuances is stuff you don't think about just like growing up and hearing about how lawyers or assholes are watching the practice or whatever.
Starting point is 00:23:35 People represent somebody that's guilty. You don't think about that type of nuance and how the justice system is fucked. And like Corey said, at a certain point you realize like, no, I mean, I'm glad that dudes like that exist. Also, like you said about the night, it's better to let people. I'd rather let people go that did do something and lock people over or put people to death or something. who didn't do anything, you know, people who are innocent. And so, like, that's pretty much accepted in our system, too. You know, I don't think prosecutors actually practice that way a lot of times,
Starting point is 00:24:06 but because they convince themselves people are guilty, you know what I mean? By point being, like, philosophically, our justice system operates that way, or it's supposed to. Yeah. That we should let a hundred men go who are guilty than ever put somebody away who's not guilty. Now, it clearly doesn't operate that way. very obviously people who claim that don't actually feel that way. Yeah. Who you think is like the sleazy-st type of law?
Starting point is 00:24:38 Like if you had this-sus-type? There's a bunch of different types of lawyers. The ones that you're like, no. The billboard bucks. Those guys are pieces of shit. Well, there's a few different types of billboard guys. I would say that... Yeah, there's some billboard guys in Knoxville.
Starting point is 00:24:49 A hit for you, right? Well, it's a... Right. They're fun to hang out with. I did a British. accent and a commercial for their law firm once years ago. Right. Wade hits for me, but they have a lot of money. Yeah, right. And they like to party. Yeah. You know, they got a good boat. Yeah. Um, the sleaziest is probably this, like, you know, stereotypically, some of the
Starting point is 00:25:10 slip and fall people. I mean, obviously, if you really do slip at fucking KFC, because there wasn't a fucking sign, and you're at KFC, you probably don't have a lot of money. You're to have the best health care in the world. You want to get... And now, I eat at KFC and I hit. You want to get your medical bills paid. So those are a big one. And then there are some really shitty people in the insurance, car wreck, and workers' comp game, where it's such a regimented system that it's pretty easy to do. But you can make a commercial sort of pretending like it's difficult.
Starting point is 00:25:47 And then charge a bunch of fucking people because you're some sort of famous. charge a bunch of people in your area more than any other lawyer would because you got the name and then get literally the same fucking thing over and over you're screwing people out of
Starting point is 00:26:04 a percentage of their money that's sleazy because you're doing it to scale you know what I mean but like you probably didn't ruin anyone's life I hope in that scenario yeah and then prosecutors what about the people handle those
Starting point is 00:26:17 massive class action things where it's like like I got an email this week from Verizon, I guess I had no idea. I've been with Verizon for a long time. They're in the middle of a class action settlement. Yeah. And so because of that, if I fill out some form and whatever else,
Starting point is 00:26:31 it's going to be like $50 or whatever. And I was like, I'm not even going to fuck with that. But it's like, well, but I'm saying, I don't know. That's wild. So here's how that works. Okay, because is there anybody that's getting a good, is that more to just like punish Verizon? And get rich.
Starting point is 00:26:47 And the lawyer. The lawyer makes a shitload of money because they make a percentage off. the lump sum, but each person So if it's $100 million, right. Because it's, right, no, probably $10 million because it's a million
Starting point is 00:27:01 subscribers getting $10. Well, then they get probably a third of that. Right. You know? Yeah. That's a pretty good payday. I mean, hell yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:11 They just got to find one client who's willing to, and then they'll tell that client we'll give you more. Right. And then they just got to get all the information that Verizon did this to everybody. You know, that was probably a throttling case. There's a few of those going on where at night you have unlimited data
Starting point is 00:27:27 so they purposely slowed you down because everyone was streaming. And it was costing them a lot of money and energy. Their power bills were going up. Right. And you have unlimited data so they can't take your data, but they made it so annoying is what they were doing. Right. Like, fuck this, my shit's not working.
Starting point is 00:27:46 They were doing it on purpose. That's probably what I know there's a case like that out there. Yeah, that's just pretty well So is that tort law or torts Yeah For the big class action settlement I got that from a John Grisham book
Starting point is 00:28:00 That's probably 15 years ago That's probably hungry That's probably contract It could be a type of tort That's probably contract There's seven different types of tort As I recall
Starting point is 00:28:08 You know it's like libel, slander causing bodily injury Negligence Fuck I don't remember them all But that's probably Because you have a contract with Verizon Yeah. So it's just a breach of contract most likely.
Starting point is 00:28:21 Okay. I just looked up, Drew was right. It is a throttling case. Speaking of throttling, are you all ready to throttle into 2024? I know I am. And whether you're tiptoeing in or hitting the throttle hard, it doesn't matter, no matter how you're approaching in 2024. Electric e-bikes can help you go the distance from commutes to adventures.
Starting point is 00:28:39 Riders of all abilities can explore this new year with electric e-bikes. So go to electric e-bikes.com to learn more about their wide selection of e-bikes. It started just $7.99 with the XP-L-P-L-E-C-R-I-C-E Bikes.com. Drew, they sent you one. You lucky, SOB? Tell us about it. Buddy. All right, guys.
Starting point is 00:29:02 Obviously, I'm doing a commercial here, and I got to do this endorsement. But Corey and Trey were kind enough to let me have this fucking thing. It is so rad. Yeah. I don't understand how it's legal. I knew it would hit. It's so rad. From the bottom of my heart, this is the radest thing we've ever.
Starting point is 00:29:18 endorsed I probably shouldn't say that. This is so rad. It's comfortable. It's everything you want in a bicycle and then on top of that you got the little throttle, the button, you just lounge. You're just like, I'm going to go for a little exercise, a little bike ride. Maybe I'll go to my gym. And then you get tired halfway there and you're no longer on a bike. You are, but now it's an e-bike. Right. It's unbelievable how much fun it is. And also, my wife will let me have a motorcycle. I've figured a workaround. This isn't one. It's an e-bibbic. And it's rad. Right. I love it.
Starting point is 00:29:55 Yeah. I did have some concerns before. I thought like this is going to be like a slog. You know like this is a big heavy bicycle and then when I get tired I'll go to use it and the battery won't last
Starting point is 00:30:09 or it won't even work right or it'll be slower than I expect. None of that. All my concerns were misplaced. It's great as a bike. It feels like riding a good bike when you're not even using the electric park. Another thing that hits about that. You mentioned motorcycles. Well, like motorcycles, you've got to have special license and insurance and all this stuff.
Starting point is 00:30:27 But the e-bikes, same safety regulations and road access as a regular bicycle. In most states, license, registration, inspection, none of that's required. But you should check the laws in your area. And you know, laws don't hit for me. Right. And so the fact that I don't have to deal with them in this particular case and state really hits for me. Yeah, up to 150 miles on one. One charge, y'all.
Starting point is 00:30:48 It's pretty sweet. So, Explore 2024 with Electric E-Bikes, the most accessible and adventurous e-bikes ever. Visit ElectricE-Bikes.com to learn more. And be sure to mention that the well-read podcast sent you in the post-checkout survey. That's L-E-C-R-I-C-E-Bikes.com telling the well-read podcast sent you. And I want to add, I got so excited talking about riding it, I want to add, it came assembled. Nice. To get it out, I just had to cut some zip ties and unfold it and then do, like,
Starting point is 00:31:17 like two of those hand screws, put the handlebars in, twist them back, I'm ready to go. Came assembled, it looked rad, the stickers were already on it. These people are doing it correctly. There was no like IKEA situation where I wanted to like die and I had parts spread out over my yard. Yeah. It showed up and then 10 minutes later I had a bike, boom, plug it in the charger. Four or five hours later I got an e-bike. Hits.
Starting point is 00:31:41 Will everybody please get one because I want them to have incentive to send me one because I've been picturing how hard this would hit for tray. Imagine me on this thing, but I've got like a Marvin the Martian style helmet. I already got one. You know what I mean? You need just, I've always, I've always wanted you to have a one. I got a retro helmet. I'd rather you be in a side car. Side car. wearing a Marvin the Martian helmet personally. That's how I envision it. But yeah, that would also hit. I got one of those retro buckets and I got it in what they call oil slick blue. Uh-huh. Hell yeah. The trim on the electric bike is close to that color, so it matches.
Starting point is 00:32:18 I'm going to send you guys pictures. I'm going to get you a side car, but it's just going to be a wheelbarrel. I had another Matthew McConaughey-related thing. I got a lawyer thing. Are we shifting? I just wanted to say two things. My buddy Jake was in town. He's doing commercial litigation. He should just straight up do commercials because he's
Starting point is 00:32:36 pretty. Yes, he is. Handsome Jake. He described what he does as when the rich, sue the rich, to get richer. He's just their lawyer. That's a good niche to be, and I would imagine. It seems like he's killing it. Yeah. And I think if I quit comedy, I could wrap my head around doing what he's doing, because it's
Starting point is 00:32:59 like he only dicks over people who are already rich because he's so niche. Like, there's no, he's just not in, I'm sure his firm does it, but he's not in the field of like, well, Ford's got to make sure that they don't give a billion dollars to family. who died in wrecks because the roof was crumpling or whatever. It's more like Denzo sent us a faulty part. Denzo makes parts for cars. I know that because they're based in Tennessee. Right.
Starting point is 00:33:26 So we're going to sue them. I thought you were doing like an Italian stereotype racist thing. Yeah. Fucking Benzo Ferrari over here. On my memories of day was a picture of you and your Mario fit. Oh, hell. That's fun. So the other thing, just I told you this story, but I want to tell the story for the
Starting point is 00:33:44 podcast. This is my favorite client ever, Corey. And this really gets at the heart of the philosophy of what we were talking about with trumped up charges, somebody doing something and then being charged extra. So I had this kid when I was a juvenile public defender. He went by the name umpa lumpa. He was a dwarf. He was 15 years old and he was in a trailer park gang that was more of a club who'd seen too many rap videos than a gang. Oh, yeah. And not that they weren't committing crime, but they weren't violent or anything, as far as I know.
Starting point is 00:34:19 Yeah, I had my dalliances with those. Yeah. So what they were doing was they were going to the nice parts of town close to them, and they were breaking into houses during the day when no one was home and stealing all their jewelry and cash and whatever else they could find. Just wearing a bracelet as a necklace?
Starting point is 00:34:37 Yeah, so their MO. That's pretty good. Thank you. They would try to find a place with two stories because often they discovered that while all the house was locked up on the first floor, they would just leave windows unlocked on the second floor. And they would, be ready for this? Stand on each other and wear a trench coat. No, he was the only dwarf.
Starting point is 00:34:59 They weren't all dwarfs. I love that you think they were all dwarfs. Yeah. It was one dwarf. They would throw him. They would throw him onto the roof. They would throw him onto the roof. Umpalumpa would land on the roof.
Starting point is 00:35:10 That is a good, actually, he brings up an interesting point. Like, did they grab one on each side of him and he, he, or did like one big guy grab his ankles and spin around? Helicopter. Like a hammer throw. You know, we didn't get into that. He was just mostly telling me he could be thrown on the roofs and fit into all windows. Yeah. I'm upset.
Starting point is 00:35:29 I didn't think to ask. Yeah. I wish I'd have just made something up right then. Yeah. Well, I feel like it's like the first one seems way more practical, but also, you know, seems like you could. They were a fun group. I mean, he had oompa, lumpa tattooed right there on his forearms. You know, he had to do both because it wouldn't fit.
Starting point is 00:35:46 You could also put your hands down like this, and he could, like, run and, like, put his foot in it, and you just, like, you know, launch him up there that way. I bet they did that. I mean, that's the most practical thing. Yeah. So, um, they had charged him with. I can't make the jump you off to toss me. 75 home burglaries. Legless their game.
Starting point is 00:36:07 Yeah. Anyway. 75. And I forgot about that That's so funny It's so funny that they're making this prestige Literature movie
Starting point is 00:36:19 And that happened A dwarf in it Yeah It was a whole running joke He wanted to throw him a couple of times And he's like Nobody throws a dwarf You know
Starting point is 00:36:26 And then he's like Very resigned I can't make the joke You'll have to toss me So So we're going over And they've charged him with like 75 of these
Starting point is 00:36:36 Some of them were on the same day Miles apart in urban Miami you couldn't have done it you can't break into this house at two and be at this one by three but he had confessed to all of them for like clout
Starting point is 00:36:54 so I'd talk to him and I was like hey man they've got you on 75 you confess to all of them but I know you didn't do some of them yeah he's like yeah they call me to bite-sized bandit baby put that in the paper
Starting point is 00:37:09 Like, yeah, they're trying to build his rep up. He said the detectives were really nice to me, and they told me that they were having a hard time with some of their cases. And they would buy me McDonald's. What? I would just cop to all of them. McDonald's? Yeah. I figured not lollipops or, like, you know, candy factory stuff?
Starting point is 00:37:29 No. He's a different kind of stereotype. You're doing the little person stereotype? But he's a lot of trash. Yeah, right. Gotcha, yeah. So. One or the other.
Starting point is 00:37:38 He copped to all of them. I was like, okay. cool, but the state wants to charge you as an adult. Because the prosecutor's perspective is, this little shithead is the biggest criminal in South Florida right now. And my perspective coming back at him is like, okay, but he literally couldn't have done all this. What's actually happening is you have a fat, fuck, lazy detective. And he's like, well, he confessed to him.
Starting point is 00:38:04 What do you want me to do? So I go to my client and I'm talking to him about this, and I'm like, dude, they're wanting to try you as an adult, and they're allowed to. The state of Florida can try someone your age as an adult in certain circumstances, and 75 felonies in a two-month period absolutely qualifies for that. And he said, I felt this so profound in retrospect. Mr. Drew, the state of Florida is not going to try a 16-year-old midget as an adult. You don't need to worry about that.
Starting point is 00:38:36 we go to the first day of I don't know what hearing we were having you just send him straight to Disney is what you do in Florida so we were having a hearing and I'm talking to the prosecutor and I'm laying out the case that I was just laying out like dude check the dates dog like if you make me go to trial and he's like I don't he's like we'll go to trial then because but I'm going to try him as an adult and then finally I go look look at look at him. And he's like, what? And I'm like, just look at my client. And he goes, I'm not, I don't know what you're trying to do, you know, like I'm trying to get sympathy or like whatever. I'm like, Jack, just look at my client. And he turned and he saw that it was a little person. I mean, he's like three foot, eight. Right. Right. And he goes, all right, time served probation.
Starting point is 00:39:33 We'll do two felonies. Hey, that hurts. While we're on this, Drew. I've always wanted to know. Because in some cases, you know, when it's like a violent psychopath, you're like, okay, maybe I get it. But like, when they decide to try someone as an adult, like, how the fuck does that work to where they go, look, this 14 year old is different than this 14 year old? He's much blacker.
Starting point is 00:39:57 You can see how much blacker he is than this one who committed a similar crime. And they're like, it makes sense to me, Your Honor. Checks out. They pull out that little skin color shit. shading chart from family guy, you know? Yeah. Or it starts off white and gets progressively darker. A swat. And there's a point where you're an adult. You are now tried as an adult, yeah, at whatever your age, yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:18 I believe that's the case. That is accurate. I know that. No, no, that's literally it. What I was going to say is just like egregiously ambitious prosecutors who have a heart on for whatever their sense of justice is, who either want to get their name in the paper or think this particular crime does that but like tray is saying the same thing i know that okay but talk about but like okay if you go with because i know it's happened where white people have
Starting point is 00:40:48 white kids have been tried as adults too now they were probably poor white trash so each so each so each state has laws that decide when most states that i know of it's still discretionary the process it's no like you automatically get tried to the adult if these three things happen It's if these three things happen, the state can try you as an adult if they want to. Those things are often like, was it a particularly violent situation? Right. Or was the victim someone who was part of a protected class or whether they be young or mentally handicapped? Was it an egregious amount?
Starting point is 00:41:23 Like, you know, um, um, um, uh, um, went on a spree. So there's nothing about burglary inherently that can make you be tried as an adult. But if you do that many of them, it was like, all right, this is one of the scenarios. where we could. And the idea is we don't punish children like we do adults because their brains work so differently. Right. They're inherently more innocent.
Starting point is 00:41:44 The theory behind it is like, yeah, but if you're doing 75 of them, maybe you're not. It's egregious. But like, and this isn't news either, but like it also goes in the other direction, right? Like you're so, well, if it's violent or fucked up, well, sometimes if that happens, but it's like a rich white kid, you know what I mean? Let's not ruin his life. Exactly. This guy's got his whole future ahead of him.
Starting point is 00:42:03 He could go to college. Did you be Ivy League, all this shit? We can't ruin that just because of one mistake. Just like the lady he raped. Exactly. Also in both cases. Brock Turner. Maybe not with Turner.
Starting point is 00:42:13 We're talking about. But like the Menendez twins. Known rapist, Brock Turner. Anyway, yeah, what? He changed his name. I wish I knew what it was because people have figured him out. He's going by his middle. But anyway, the Menendez twins, is that their names?
Starting point is 00:42:25 That's pretty good. Thank you. Was that their names? The Menendez. A lot of times with those violent kids things, rich and poor, they've had the most fucked up life you could have. Right. There's a reason that they are fucked up.
Starting point is 00:42:39 And that's the other reason we are, in theory, not supposed to punish kids like adults because we recognize that they're simply acting out. Now, is that also true of violent adults? Of course. But we are a violent, bloodthirsty nation that likes nothing more than to mash up poor black and brown people and suck the life out of them for profit.
Starting point is 00:43:00 So in other words, what you're saying, and I kind of am there with you, which is like, okay, if you want to look at Brock Turner as a kid who has his whole life ahead of him, that's fine, but you've got to do that for every motherfucker across the board. Well, with Brock Turner, first of all, he was an adult. He was always tried an adult. I mean, the situation there is that that judge. Yeah, he was in college. Like him, liked Brock Turner, you know, probably was a fan of Stanford or whatever, because he was in that area. And just is one of those, dude, there's men of a certain age. You just don't really believe in right. right, man. Right.
Starting point is 00:43:34 They don't. Unless you, like, beat her to death. And even then, you know. What'd she say? Right. Right. How drunk were you? I mean, that judge deserved, himself deserved punishment.
Starting point is 00:43:45 You said we're a violent, bloodthirsty nation. The other thing I wanted to ask y'all about, I figured, you especially, Drew, for some reason. Like, so me and Joe both watch the show, Racher. It's a dad show. You should get in on it. Rules. Like, it's just, it's a big, just a hulking mountain. of a man who just beats people to death for everything.
Starting point is 00:44:07 Great a show of all time. He's a good guy, right? And that's sort of my... Is it propaganda? Is he a cop? No, he's not a cop. He was in the military, and now he just wanders the earth, beating people's asses who need it, right? So anyway...
Starting point is 00:44:19 I'm not against this so far. I know, but I have a cop to bring up. So I've been watching that show. I also just re-watched season one of true detective, right? That's where Matthew McConaughey comes in. So, Richard, the character, I mean, he just... I know it's a fictional character.
Starting point is 00:44:31 He just loves killing people, right? But they all deserve it. Like Dexter kind of. They don't hit their bad. I mean, he just, like, he just is real good at just murdering everything in sight. But it's all bad guys. He almost can't not. He's tried not to and then accidentally did.
Starting point is 00:44:47 There's so many times where it would be so much better for him to not kill the person because they have information that would be vital to his investigation. But he just can't not kill. He just smushes things with his pain. He's a boy in a China shop. Yeah, he's just huge. Yeah, right. So anyway.
Starting point is 00:45:01 True Detective, so he's one, Matthew McConaughey, Russ Cole, him and the Hart, Marty Hart, are in the car driving, and Marty Hart, Woody Harrelson says to him, says something, he's like, you know you're a bad guy, right? And McConaughey goes, well, world needs bad men like me. We keep other bad men from the door, right?
Starting point is 00:45:24 And I just got me to think of, because while also watching Reacher, like, these are both made-up shows. But, like, do you think there's people out there, Navy Seals or whatever. I feel like talking more military than like cops probably, but who like really, really hit at killing people and also who like dig the shit out of it, but who have like some kind of code. Like are those people still sociopaths, but they're like, you know, they're like the good guys. I think they're sociopath? Good guys with a gun type of thing.
Starting point is 00:45:57 Like, you know, they fight on the, on the side of light instead of darkness. Because I rooted for Dexter. But they still just murder the shit out of people and they love doing it. And it's like, so how do you categorize a person like that? Can I tell you something? I think it's wild to think about. Every single cop and prosecutor in America believes that about themselves. Right.
Starting point is 00:46:14 Right. So like, if you're asking me, do I think that person exists? Yes. But do I buy that as a trope? Those folks exist, but like that is, that trope was created literally by copaganda shows. Right. Right. And military propaganda.
Starting point is 00:46:34 Do I think that that's part, that there are people like, yeah, there are plenty of good, violent people in the world who are doing their best. I mean, like, fucking SEAL Team 6 or whatever, right? It's like they're, who knows if they're good. Well, yeah, but. But yes. Like, there are plenty of good, violent people in the world. Plenty.
Starting point is 00:46:51 But, like, that's such a dangerous philosophy or like, I don't know what the right word is. But that's a very dangerous. it's poisoned America. You are literally talking about those thin blue line stickers that everyone wears on the back of their car. Yeah, good guy with a gun. It's why cops love the Punisher, even though the Punisher mostly killed cops.
Starting point is 00:47:13 Hates cops, yeah, right. Yeah. Because they think they're him. Right. So, like, I can't answer your question without the caveat of, it's bullshit. But you probably like true detective, right? And Matthew McConaughey obviously hits for you.
Starting point is 00:47:23 The character of Russ probably hit for you, right? Yeah, he was fun. Yeah, right, and watching the show. But I'm saying he, like, literally verbalizes is this thing that you're talking about how dangerous in everything it is in real life. Well, that's why shows like true detective are dangerous. You know, I've made some exceptions.
Starting point is 00:47:39 That's one of them. Fucking Game of Thrones is one of them. But I genuinely despise how Western culture can only seem to write positively about cops and rich people and, you know, the king. And I'm not saying it like, obviously, Jophrie was evil. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:57 But Joprey also was like a badass character that everyone talked about. You know what I mean? But you watch the wire? You ever seen the wire? Do you ever go back and watch that? I haven't yet. I feel like it's pretty fucking even-handed.
Starting point is 00:48:07 There's some like, some of the cops are like... They make the cops look like shit. Yeah. And there's been some dirty cop shows. The shield was also a dirty cop show. Yeah, I was. I loved the shield. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:16 So, you know. But even it made them look like badasses. Like, the way they wrote it, you know, I remember my brother watched it. And he had like the opposite thing where he was like, finally, some cops I like. Yeah, right. These ones are criminals. Yeah, right. Well, there's, okay.
Starting point is 00:48:29 So, like, there's this old man that has recently gone viral because he... Oh, yeah. I'm not that old, but thank you for noticing. Got 2.8 million. I'm not even... I'm not even talking about the one I sent y'all. Your country music thing? No, no, this was like two or three weeks ago, my top five worst friends of the year.
Starting point is 00:48:46 Oh, okay. We weren't on it. Congrats. Well, good. You said worst friends, didn't you? Yeah. See? It's not the guy that I sent y'all.
Starting point is 00:48:54 That straight-up lunatic that was talking about how many people he killed. Although, I mean, you know, that was... was wild, but it's this other, it's this other old man who he was in Vietnam, right? And he's recently gone viral because he started streaming, like he plays Call of Duty and stuff, and he's fucking amazing at being a sniper on there because, you know, he was a sniper. Anyways, he's like, he does these streams where he'll teach people how to like, look, this is how you got to aim and all this stuff. And there's this one video of the first time when he was doing it. And he was having so much goddamn fun. And just every time he'd blow a motherfucker's head,
Starting point is 00:49:29 off. He's laughing his ass off. And there's all these people in the comments that are like, you know, fuck this old man for, you know, doing this and like killing all these motherfuckers. And it's not, you know, it's not to be glorified. And I'm like, I hear you. But like, we got to understand that this dude was in Vietnam, which means he might not have wanted to go there. Right. You know what I mean? And like, yeah, he got forced to go to war and he got really good at being a sniper. And like, I don't know. I'm glad he was good at it. You know what I mean? Yeah, I think that, yeah, you get drafted and sent to a war and then you just find out you happen to really hit killing people. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:08 It's got to be a wild. I doubt that's what happened. It's just wild to me that people were. Sounds like he's really into it. I think I made him miss something. Did you say he's playing Call of Duty in these clips? Yeah. So he's like 70 something?
Starting point is 00:50:21 He's streaming. He's an old man that started streaming because he found out. When he snips somebody in Collie duty, does he be like, that's like I did Charlie back in Denny? in 69. Is he doing shit like that? He doesn't say those words. Well, then what, I don't understand what people are mad about. People are, first off, the people that are commenting on this, like, they don't like Call a Duty to begin with. You know what I mean? Because it glorifies war, whatever. But, like, he's super pumped when he gets a kill. And, like, he's teaching everybody, like, how to lead and stuff like that. And, like, you got a factor in the wind. And everybody's
Starting point is 00:50:52 shitting on him, like, this dude's, this dude's intert. But I'm saying, fucking video game. That's how they work. No, but I get it. killing spree and all this shit. It's like it ain't the same goddamn thing. No, but because he's done it in real life, it makes him uncomfortable to see him get hype about it, is what I would imagine. I bet.
Starting point is 00:51:10 I can see how that makes one. Like, imagine if a dude who had raped a bunch of prostitutes. Was in GTA? And just like, fuck yeah, dude. Cut her head off. You'd be like, ugh. Okay, but there's never a situation, there's never a situation where rape is justified,
Starting point is 00:51:25 but this dude got sent to a war that he had to, I get all that. I'm not trying to disparage the man necessarily, although I'm on the fence. What I'm saying is I do understand why people are like, it is uncomfortable that a man who has killed people is now celebrating a video game who does it because we prefer, in general, in our culture, for someone to be like, war's nothing like a video game. It's hell. Taking a man's life's one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do. It changes. You know what I'm saying? And it's like probably good to prefer that. Sure. I just want to.
Starting point is 00:51:59 if there's other, because part of me is somebody, I used to play the shit out of first-person shooters all the time. And I bet if you had to kill people you wouldn't want to anymore. And I think everybody that does at some point thinks, they'd be good at it. Like if you, that it's transferable, that the skills are transferred. Like there's people play call of duty and think I'd hit it war. And of course, most people are like, no, you fucking wouldn't. But this dude is like, I don't know, maybe you would hit at war, you know? And I just think, it's a funny, like, that's kind of where my brain went. I was like, damn, maybe I would have kind of hit a war because of how much Halo I played.
Starting point is 00:52:30 I never thought that was a real thing, but now this guy makes me think maybe it is. And I think that's exactly why it bothers people is because the stereotype is that it would be the reverse. You went to war, this shit is not going to hit for you. People who think it's the same disgust you. People who think that they could be good at it because- But a lot of those dudes love it, though, right? I mean, that's kind of what I was talking about.
Starting point is 00:52:51 The new type of war, it is going to be transferable. That's absolutely true. Yeah, it's basically just video game. I want to say something. I don't believe. him. Which part? What do you mean? I don't think this streaming old man was in Vietnam. What? You think you're Stalin, Valor? Yeah. Okay. Why? Because it's a brilliant idea. You're trying to go viral. Way to jump up streams. You're good at the video game. How you're going to get him? You know, this is like what I used to
Starting point is 00:53:13 really do. And all the people want to hear it. Just like you said. Right. All the people are like, man, I bet I'd hit it war. He would. He hits from me even harder if that's the case. I mean, yeah, because he's less evil. He's a different type of evil. It is weird. You guys don't think But he's not evil for going to Vietnam. They made them. You guys don't think it's weird that someone who has taken many lives now likes to, gets off on, is excited about a video game where he takes lives and then he's like, fuck yeah, dude. You don't think that doesn't make, that doesn't hit a part of you in a weird way?
Starting point is 00:53:46 Not really, no. I think that's strange, man. I did a bunch of reports. I'm not saying he's evil, but it's strange. Reports and projects and shit when I was in college on the subject of violent video games and where they influenced people to be violent because that was a huge hot button topic. for a long time. And even in the written house trial, those dumb-ass prosecutors brought it up. Like, it hasn't been not a thing for 15 fucking years now. But anyway, I researched and talked
Starting point is 00:54:08 about it a lot because I'm a fat dork who likes video games and stuff. And I just never bought into it. And I just, there's like a fundamental difference between like a video game and reality, no matter what, like the context of it. Like, GTA, I just don't think, like my mother-in-law, True story, one time my mother-law was at my house and I put in GTA 5 because it just recently come out because she's pretty cool, I think. And I'm playing it for like 30 seconds. And she goes, well, Trey, you just ran right through that red light.
Starting point is 00:54:37 And I was like, and I was like, I'm just going to turn this off, you know. Yeah. But I'm saying. Or I murder this horror. She would be like, she would be like really put off by watching me, you know, murder horrors or whatever in GTA 5, but I'm not going to murder actual horrors.
Starting point is 00:54:53 But this guy did. and I'm not saying he is evil. I'm saying that it's unfathomable to me that you guys can't understand why it bothers people. The top comment, by the way, was someone saying, the top comment with someone saying, look at all these millennials tell a boomer that playing video games is bad,
Starting point is 00:55:13 which is hilarious to me. That's kind of what I'm saying. I'm not saying him playing video games is bad. I'm not even saying he's evil. I'm saying that you guys seem like you don't understand where these people are coming from, and I can't fathom that, because where they're coming from is the guy who's murdered people is celebrating a video game. That's because you're making arguments as to why video games aren't evil.
Starting point is 00:55:36 I agree with you. This is not that. This is a conversation in my mind about whether or not it's ridiculous to be bothered by what this guy's doing. It's uncomfortable. That's not uncomfortable for you that a guy who has sniped people in war, his favorite thing to do is to pretend that he's still in fucking Vietnam sniping people? went through hell and now he likes to play video games. Good for him.
Starting point is 00:55:57 Maybe. What hell do he go through? It sounds like he was at a distance just picking off fucking China, Vietnamese people. Cambodians too, maybe, if he did any CIA work. China supported him. They were Chinaman there. But I just, I'd have no way of knowing, of course, my sorry I didn't go to war and I'm not going to go to war. But I think if I had actually signed up for the military in college when I was playing six hours of Halo a day. I think had I gone to war and gotten into some shit
Starting point is 00:56:27 and somehow survived it, which I wouldn't, but if I did, and I'd been in some fucked up situations, war-wise, I don't think I would suddenly not like Halo anymore when I got back and I'm still 23 or whatever. But also Vietnam was so long ago, like a lot of time has passed.
Starting point is 00:56:43 We missed the video where this guy talked about how, this was kind of hard for me to get into, but now it hits for me. But you guys are missing, to me, the picture here, which is not that he likes video games, it's that apparently his either income or favorite hobby is
Starting point is 00:56:59 to celebrate all of that. And I'm saying whether you agree with that or not, it's not surprising that America's like, ugh, because we prefer our vets. Oh, I'm not surprised at these motherfuckers. They're just being gaywads. No, I think they're being a human being. If you
Starting point is 00:57:15 know for a fact that this guy's killed people and he's not humble about it, that makes you uncomfortable. We, I mean, look, it's, I'm not saying it's fair, but America absolutely prefers our vets humbled. Where they want them to come back contrite. And if they don't want to, that's fine. But it's not being a gaywad to, like, be uneasy about that. It's being very human.
Starting point is 00:57:36 Like, holy shit, this dude killed a bunch of people, and it seemingly doesn't bother him at all. But they don't say it like that. They don't say, I'm a little uncomfortable. They go, fuck this old piece of shit. You know what I mean? Which I think is different. Don't you think if you also got sent to, if you got sent, we don't know if he was drafted volunteer, but if you got sent to war, if we'd been the generation, could be sent to
Starting point is 00:57:55 ward and you got over there and you were, you ended up a sniper or whatever, infantry or whatever it was or a blower-upper of people, you name it. My grandfather was a blower-upper in World War II. Don't you think that World War II, I always felt like, I mean, there was good and there was bad in that war, like, legitimately. And so, like, I think those guys probably were mostly able to sleep at night because they were like, well, I was fighting literal evil, right? Like the actual evil empire.
Starting point is 00:58:23 But if you got sent to fucking nom against your will and then that happened, you ended up killing some people or what, don't you think you would like very much so want to convince yourself that that was okay? Sure. Because otherwise you'd fucking drink yourself to death at 80, by 1982 or whatever, which a lot of them did. And that's what I'm saying. I am not trying to rationalization.
Starting point is 00:58:46 Cast aspersions on this man. I'm saying that it is natural to react with a little bit of disgust to a guy who just was out there. The Vietnamese Army was just a bunch of farmers who learned how to shoot because we were fucking attacking them. Nothing about the – and everyone knows this, even if they're not conscious of it. It should make people uncomfortable that a dude who sniped Vietnamese farmers is out here celebrating it. I mean, it just should. I'm not saying he's evil. But I don't think he was celebrating shooting the Vietnamese people.
Starting point is 00:59:18 He's just like, I'm really good at sniping in this video game. Because Call of Duty ain't against Vietnam. I mean, I'm pretty sure he shot a German. Right. I'm not, again, I'm not saying this dude's evil. This whole thing was you calling him gaywads and you being like, oh, fuck those people. Those people are having a very natural response.
Starting point is 00:59:36 Which is a natural response to a dude who's murdered multiple people to be celebrating murdering people in a video game. I'm not saying he is evil. I'm saying that is a natural response to a murderer. celebrating murder. I think the most natural response is to keep fucking scrolling in my pet's fair. I don't know about calling a guy that got drafted into war, a murderer. I don't know about that fundamentally.
Starting point is 01:00:00 A murderer? That's what I'm saying. I mean, I think the reason people probably feel that way is because if you're not, you'd probably feel bad about it. If you're not a murderer, hold on, hold on, hold on, then why the fuck is he acting like Dickbag underscore 69 telling other people how to do it? That's my point. I'm saying that if you... It's a goddamn video game!
Starting point is 01:00:22 Played by a guy who lived it. I'm saying that if you're not a murderer, but you get drafted and you kill multiple people because you're a really talented sniper and you're not a murderer, how are you going to feel about what you did? It's been 50 years, hell. Yeah, not good, but...
Starting point is 01:00:40 So then you're going to tell people you did it and say that's why I'm so good at this video game. The only reason Corey knows he used to do that, is he said it. And again, I don't believe he did. Right. Well, we do need to go, but I'm glad this ends the way it did it, you know, it hit for me. I just, you know, like your shit. I was coming from a gamer perspective mostly throughout. I feel like there were sort of three different kind of arguments happening there. Anyway, I'll be, this comes out Wednesday. This comes out Wednesday as is often the case. Then tonight I'll be in Orlando and tomorrow. I'm in Tampa. Come see me. And then I'll be in
Starting point is 01:01:15 DC and Virginia and Indy and St. Louis coming up. So Trey Crowder.com and yeah, make a hit. I will be in Denver and March. I'm going to be in San Diego. Just check my website. Check out Gravy Baby, the podcast with me and DJ Lewis and Carmen Morales. That's it. Hey, listen to putting on airs with me and Trey.
Starting point is 01:01:41 Also, weekly skews with him and Smart Mark Age. and go to bonus cory.com. You can also subscribe to me on Instagram for videos and shit like that. Thank you all for listening to The Well Red Show. We'd love to stick around longer, but we got to go. Fuck. Tune in next week.
Starting point is 01:02:01 If you got nothing to do. Thank you, God bless you. Good night, and skis. Sorry, I stopped vaping, and I started dipping, and I, like, inhaled some tobacco juice as I was doing that. said gaywad twice on the podcast. All right. Love y'n's bye. Fart. Hit the fart.
Starting point is 01:02:22 Hit the fart. Hit the fart. He'll hit the fart. Just ask him. This episode is brought to you by the new book, Round Here and Over Yonder, written by author's Trey Crowder and Corey Ryan Forrester. That's ya boy. The book is out now. I would like to thank everyone who did the pre-order, but for those of you who were like,
Starting point is 01:02:42 you know what, I went away and actually go to a bookstore and pick this thing up. Well, you can do that right now. Round here and over yonder, a front porch travel guide written by two progressive hillbillies, parenthetical. Yes, that's a thing. We love long titles, but we love making you laugh even more. This book is chalked fill. Chocked fill. Chalked full of jokes. We chalked filled it, too. It's got a bunch of jokes in it. It's really, really, really fun. We tried to take the stereotypes of certain regions, talk about what they are, talk about what they got right, actual reality is. Of course, we did it with our own little region here in the South. We went everywhere else in the United States. And for the first time in our lives, we went to the UK.
Starting point is 01:03:24 It's rednecks abroad. The book is round here and over yonder. Not to brag on us, but I will. It is hilarious. Pick it up now wherever you get books. And by the way, we narrated the audio version, if that's how you want to digest it. But there is no wrong way. Round here and over yonder, wherever you get you books. Do it in an indie book. I like that.

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