wellRED podcast - #4 - Mary Wilcher

Episode Date: March 1, 2017

Today's episode includes a sit down with our good friend Mary Wilcher.Mary Wilcher is the VP of Production and Development at Figure 8 Films in Carrboro, NC where she lives with her wife and 2 kids. Having grown up in West Virginia and ultimately settling in North Carolina after stints in Los Angeles and Atlanta, Mary shares her experiences of sharing a marriage and family with another woman in the South. We discuss coming out of the closet, the difference between southern cities vs. rural areas, and how draconian parental rights laws affected her family directly. A moment that should have been sacred to her family became a reminder of how backwards things are. It is a story that sincerely and deeply affected all three of us. We hope you like it. Also we discuss how reality TV changed the game, drugs, and the Kings of Leon selling out.

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion, because you used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie, I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now, skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people, people across the skew universe, I should say. Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year? Do you even know? Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery?

Getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low mane? Because that's a thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better, and it's called Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions,

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Also, a fun one I'd said it before, but I got an app, lovely little app where you could, you know, put your friend's faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies. You know, those weren't a little like the Q-ball looking twin. fellas. Yeah. So that was that in response to. What was that a reply gift for? Just when I did something stupid. Something fat, I think, and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first. But then I quit using it and was still paying for it and forgotten. If it wasn't for Rocket Money, I never would have even figured it out. So shout out to them. They help. If you're money dumb like me, Rocket Money can help. So cancel your unwanted

subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com slash well read today. That's rocketmoney.com slash well, RED. Rocketmoney.com slash well read. And we thank them for sponsoring this episode of the podcast. They're the. What's up, y'all? Welcome to the well-red podcast.

It's me, Trey Crowder. I'm actually doing this intro alone because me, Corey and Drew, are not on tour this particular week, which means that I'm having to do this from my place here in Burbank in here, and it's the first time I've had to do this by myself without them to bounce it off of, and it's so lonely, but

no, I'll figure it out, it'll be fine, we'll work our way through it, but this week I'm not just saying this. I think this is one of the best episodes we've recorded to date, one of the best interviews, particularly with the way that it ends, but

it's with a lady that we've gotten to know and she's awesome in basically every way that we are aware of. And her name's Mary Wilcher. She is a reality TV producer from North Carolina. And she still is in North Carolina and Raleigh. And she is, you know, that's obviously interesting. And she's an interesting person for all, you know, for what she does. And also like she used to be a model and then got into reality TV produce. I mean, she's had a very interesting. life. But then on top of all that, she's also a lesbian and is married to a woman and they have two children together in Raleigh, North Carolina, which is, you know, even we, you know, being

Southerners ourselves, we're all, we're just straight white guys. And so, you know, we don't have the frame of reference for what the hell that would be like. And we have known Mary, for a little bit and knew that about her and we thought we thought we'd ask us if she wanted to talk about it and turns out she relished the opportunity to talk about it because i guess she doesn't get too very often or publicly at least and so i mean we really really dive pretty deeply into some pretty serious stuff with mary on this one and i think it um i think it turned out really well and i think that you'll like it uh also let's see what else is going on right now the words the oscars was last night as i record this

It is Monday, February, whatever, the day after the Oscars. I did not watch it because I'm still not used to Pacific Time. And the fact that stuff like that comes on at like 5.30 in the day is still weird to me. I still have not recalibrated to all that stuff. Like, I mean, I remembered. I knew the Oscars were starting, but it was like, man, you know, I'm cooking dinner and hanging out with my boys and stuff. Like, I'm not going to sit down and watch the Oscars at 5.30. But, I mean, I guess I'll just have to get over that eventually.

But I mean, I did see what happened. You'd have to be under a rock not to. They Steve Harvey did it. Warren Beatty read off the wrong. And I mean, I guess it turns out wasn't his fault, but he read off the wrong. Winner for Best Picture. Like, it could have been any other one, man. They could have done that with any other category at the Oscars.

And it would have pretty much been fine. I mean, I guess it was fine anyway. But really, that one, best picture. And the fact, too, that it's like, Hollywood has this thing, you know, well, the Academy in particular has this thing with being very, very masturbatory and very circle jerky to where, like, if there's a movie that's about Hollywood or about Los Angeles or about movie making or whatever else, you can pretty well guarantee that the Academy is going to lose their shit over it. Like, for example, Argo, I like the movie Argo. But, you know, Argo is a movie about Hollywood saving the world. So, of course, it won best picture of the year it came out. That's the kind of thing that I'm talking about.

And, you know, in my recollection, basically only white people make those movies. And so, hang on, hang on, we got something in coming here. What is it? Hey, listen to me. Hey, look, I'm on the phone right now. You got to go outside and be quiet, okay? Go out there. Go play outside.

Be quiet. I'm on the phone. Shh, get out of here. Hey, hey. Look, I'm on the phone. You have to go outside. Be quiet. Come on, go.

Go, go. Get out of here. Get out of here. Go. Go play. Oh, anyway. Yeah, so that's the thing that happens. Oh, what was I saying?

Anyway, as far as I can tell, for the most part, only white people make those kinds of movies. because I, you know, well, I mean, I don't know why. That's just some white shit movies about Hollywood being awesome. It's just some white people shit. And of course, after everything with the Oscars last year, with the racial controversy and stuff, it's just so hilariously raving that they like, it almost seems like a knee-jerk reaction.

Like, yeah, La La Land. Of course that's what one. What else would put? possibly win this award. We are the Academy. That's a movie called La La Land. Of course it won. And I haven't seen it and I want to see it.

And Corey saw it and says it's awesome. And I'm sure it is great. I ain't seen Moonlight either. I'm sure it's also great. I normally make it a point to watch all the best picture nominees. But I'm just saying it almost seemed like, it almost seemed like the Oscars as an entity became self-aware and just like slipped up and almost automatically.

gave the award to La La Land like everyone was expecting them to. And they're like, oh wait, no, we're actually going to, we're actually going to, you know, give awards to some black people this year. Okay, yeah, cool. I guess we can do that too. And, but yeah, no, I mean, everything I've heard about both movies is that they rock the shit. So, I mean, I don't know if rock the shit is the best way to talk about La La Land. But I've heard it's very good.

and I'll be checking them out. But I ain't yet, that's really all I have to say on it. What else happened? Bill Paxton died. Game over, man. Game over. He said in concert with the entirety of the rest of the Internet, because that's the first thing that comes to everybody's mind.

Well, everybody of a certain age anyway, when I think about Bill Paxton dying. That's a bummer, man. You know, always like Bill Paxton. I read that. The other thing that everybody's heard about Bill Paxton is he's the only actors. be killed by an alien, a predator, and a Terminator. And if that's, I guess he was in Predator 2, or one of the, I don't remember, I,

I've seen most of the predators. I don't, I mean, I've seen them all at least once. I don't remember Bill Paxton, but maybe I'm just forgetting something. He wasn't in the first predator, right? I mean, he wasn't with them in the jungle. I've seen that movie a million time. Maybe he has like a bit roll or something. I don't know. But, I mean, I remember in Terminator. He's a Spikehead punk dude and phone boasts and aliens. He's obviously game over man. Fucking A! That guy.

Awesome in that movie. Anyway, rest in peace, Bill Paxson. I say politically, I don't know. I genuinely don't know. I don't give a shit. I thought in the last video I made was about Trump and them revoking policies, basically pro-transgender

children policies in the Department of Education. They revoked them. They said, that's a states rights issue and then turned around in a couple days later apparently you're talking about how you know they're going to crack down on recreational marijuana because that's not a state's rights issue it's so absurdly baldly hypocritical that it's like they know that it doesn't matter to their people or something so why do they have to make sense why do they even have to try to hide the crazy insane bullshit that they do they don't they know they don't so they don't they don't worry about it

They're just like, because I'm saying there's no way, there's no way to reconcile that. If you're trying to make an actual logically consistent argument, that's like, yeah, we are pro state rights and small government. But also we want the government to handle the issue of recreational marijuana usage. Well, why? Well, just because, just because there is no good answer to it. Like if you're going to say, look, it's not about the rights of transgender children or transgender people. It's not about that. We're not saying they don't deserve rights.

We're saying that it's up to the states to determine how to handle it. I mean, you can do that. Like, if you're going to be one of those truly hardcore small government type people, and that's your, you can be kind of amoral in that way and approach it with that attitude. That's fine. but you have to be logically consistent and you have to say that has to also be true

for recreational marijuana or for refugee policies or whatever. You can't say that about just transgender rights or anything else or abortion or whatever else you don't agree with and then turn right around and be like, oh, but for these things, we really can't let the states handle that because we all know what California

is going to do. You know, like, you can't do. You can't have both. And that's the thing. Pointing that out to me is such an obvious criticism to make, and it is. I'm not the only person saying that. Most people on the other side are saying that are calling them out for it. But the thing is they don't, they're completely and totally unfazed by it.

Completely. Like, it, and that, the cognitive dissonance that it requires to, to, to have that attitude and maintain it without any concern for how ridiculously, overtly hypocritical you appear to be or whatever. It just, that shit just boggles my mind, man. But as I said in the video that I made, and I truly believe this, like, it doesn't really matter because that's another fight that they'll lose. It'll get to the Supreme Court.

It's on its way to the Supreme Court right now. There's a transgender kid named Gavin. He's got a case that's going that's working. way up through the courts, it's going to hit the Supreme Court before long, and then win that, and, you know, and they'll rule in favor of transgender rights. They will, because again, the Supreme Court, at least so far, the current iteration, for the most part, is, you know, fairly well governed by reason and logic, you know, unlike, you know, our legislative branch or whatever else. And so they'll rule in favor of transgender rights. And,

those people will have to move on to the next thing that they're going to hate. You know what I mean? Or whatever. The next straw man that they're going to throw up, basically, to keep their fan base frothing at the mouth and all riled up. But anyway, that's all I really want to say about that. I'm so sick of this shit already. Six weeks into his presidency, and I'm just so...

Is it six weeks? I don't know. not long. We are not very long into his presidency, and I'm already, I'm just so sick of everything about this motherfucker. But anyway, and so I'm in some, I'm in need of some R&R,

and speaking of which, I'm going to do a little pre and a post trip thing in this week's intro, and the next week's intro, we'll see how everything goes, because this weekend, I met, my wife and I are going to Porte Vayarta, Mexico, which that's like one of the places that white people go to in Mexico. I'm very well aware of that fact.

I've been to Mexico twice before now, also only to the places white people stereotypically go to Cancun and Cosmuel. This would be my first time in the PV. I don't know. I was going to make up some bullshit that they call it PVC, Puerto Vallarta Coast. I bet that's the thing. They should call it PVC if they don't. I don't know what the hell they call it. But the name of the place is part of the Varta, resort town, whatever.

We're going there this weekend. My sister, I'm picking my sister up from the airport on Wednesday. She's going to watch the boys while we're gone, and then she's going to hang out for a while after where your boyfriend's coming up on Sunday. It's going to be going to be a good little week. But for that, four or five days I'm in Mexico with my wife. I'm not shutting out all things, politics and just whatever else. And I'm just, I'm drinking margaritas.

I'm eating chips and salsa. I think, if I'm not mistaken, I think that Viagra is over the counter down there. So she's got it in for her. I don't know if she knows that or not, but she does. And that's all I'm doing. That's all I'm doing while I'm down there. I'm not going to worry about the rest of the shit. And then we'll see what happens when I come back.

Now, here's why I'm doing a pre and a post thing because I mentioned I've been to Mexico the other two times. I love Mexicans. I'm very, I love their food. I'm what they've done with cheese. The world owes them until the end of time. I'm a big fan of them as a people in their culture and their food, whatever, and I'm not just saying that I really am. I really admire a lot about them and about Mexico as an idea.

Now, again, the two times I've been there, I've been to tourist trap, you know, those types of locations, granted, but I did not really enjoy myself. either time. I was in Mexico because you're in these tourist places the whole time you got people trying to sell you fucking you know picture frames made out of

seashells and whatever else just little rinky dake bullshit and they mark it way up. It's like that's like hey man this you know you want a sea sale picture frame and it's like well how much is it's like it's $72

like what the fuck and he's like I mean I'll thank four you know like that's how it works everything's fake it's all counterfeit in these places they start out super high They'll take whatever, but they won't leave you alone. But that's just not my thing.

That's not that hard sell type thing is the opposite of what I'm about. And like, the first time I went there, this is true. After a couple hours of that, that was my first experience with anything like that ever. It's my first trip out of the country. I'd never been in that kind of atmosphere where you're getting the hard sell like that. People just open your face won't leave you alone. I'd never dealt with it before. I was like 22 years old.

and after a couple hours of it, I just started, I don't know how I landed on this, but I just started acting like I was like Polish or whatever, or Russian, just like vaguely Eastern European, like people would come up to me and be like, hey, you want some cigars, you know, or whatever, and I would just be like, Lavarski-Waltz-a-thus long as they'd just like utter gibberish

with a bullshit accent on top of it, and they'd be like, oh, okay, you know, like, it would confuse them. They didn't want to do, so they'd just leave. I mean, it actually worked, and that's going to be my fallback. If I get in that same kind of shit at Porto Vallarta this weekend. But this, I think, is going to be different because we're going to one of those just like all-inclusive resort things that she got from selling. She sells one of those makeup that Drew says, Drew says that she makes your eyelashes look like eyelashes.

But that's actually what she used to sell. It doesn't matter. She sells makeup of this company called Limelight, whatever else. It's one of those. I don't really, you know, I'll be paying attention to what she'd be doing. But I don't know this shit. But apparently, though, apparently she does pretty good at it because we're going, I mean, this is a free trip to Mexico that we're taking.

So, I mean, I can't complain too much. And I don't complain. It's fine. You know, whatever. I'm totally cool with her doing with her selling her lime light shit and whatever else. It doesn't matter. But I'm saying this is the first time that it's like, positively impacted me or really impacted me at all.

So I guess I'm saying, hell, I'm all for it. Shit. Good job, honey. Way to go. Keep it up. I don't know why I'm talking to her on the intro of my podcast. But anyway, she got through her through that job. She got us an all expenses paid trip to Mexico.

Puerto Vallarta. That's this weekend. We'll see how that goes. And then the intro for next week when I get back, maybe I'll have a hilariously raven story of me in Mexico getting frustrated and just losing my shit because it's what usually happens when I go down there. And actually, a little teaser here, I'll throw this one out there. The second time I went to Mexico was with my current wife. This was years ago now before we had kids or anything. And we actually, I'm to this day almost.

I mean, sincerely 98. whatever percent certain that we were drugged, that we were roofied in Mexico for burglary purposes, not sodomy purposes, or whatever. But, I mean, I'll go to my grave, believing that that's what happened. I said I was going to tease it.

I was going to let it marinate until next week and tell you the story about the hell with it. No, that's not cool. I'm not going to walking dead this shit. Just give you a needless clip. hangar for no reason. What happened was we went into, we went to

Cancun or Playa Del Carmen or whatever together and we were walking around down there within this little canteena and they had I swear to God, looking back on it now I don't know what the fuck

either one of us were thinking because it's like almost cartoonishly over the top villainy on their part. It's like it's so stupid. It's like from a shittily made the dangers of traveling abroad PSA that they would show to like high schoolers or about to go on a senior trip or something. That's how not at all realistic.

This was, but this is all true. This is all real. We're going to this little canteen and they had, I swear to God, I'm doing the quote fingers right now. Special margaritas. That's what it said. It said special margaritas on like a little fucking like cardboard sign like written in Sharpie. Special margaritas, $2 or whatever.

And they had a Kool-Aid pitcher, man. Just a big plastic pitcher. It was just margaritas mixed up in it. And you ordered and me and my wife like, yeah, it looks good. It's like this like dude like twirling a mustache by his purse. picture of fucking specialty margaritas. Yeah, totally. Bring it on.

And we got those margarine, me and my wife did, and so did. We took a cruise down there, right? Because, again, we're very white, very white, very white trash specifically. And so we took a cruise down there, and me and her were in there and we're drinking these margaritas, along with these three college boy, like frat boy type dudes from Mississippi State. I had met them. We're talking about SEC football.

We're just talking about football, shooting the shit, kind of getting along. It's me and my wife and these three dudes, and we're drinking especially margaritas. And then my wife's sister and her husband, my sister-in-law and brother-in-law, Evan and Carrie, they're there too. They're drinking bottled beer that they like saw get opened, right? Because they're not idiots. And anyway, long story short, we don't drink. I don't think we had more than one or two of them. Look, y'all, I've sat at an Mexican restaurant before and crushed no shit six or seven margaritas, like in my time.

Easy. Or like those big ass fishbowl ones that's like three or four margaritas, had two of those. Like, back in college, shit. That was fucking Wednesday. You know what I mean? Like, that was nothing for me to do that. And then not been fine. I mean, been drunk, but not been sloppy blackout.

Where the hell am I drunk, right? I know my limits were my lack thereof or perceived lack thereof. We drank no more than two each of these, especially margaritas, walked out the front door of the canteen and they keep walking around Cancun there. And that's the last thing I remember. The next thing I remember, I'm not shitting you. I came to in the shower on the boat. Like in the fetal position, felt like I was dying, right? And this was hours later, hours later.

I mean, I'm trying to remember, like, I mean, six, eight plus hours later, because that was around lunchtime when that happened. And when I came two later, I mean, it was eight, nine o'clock at night. And I think I had the timeline right. It was something like that. Fucking wild, right? My wife's the same boat. Don't remember anything. We had it recounted to us that our brother and sister-in-law, who were fine, helped us.

helped us and this other, this black family, I think from Mobile, from somewhere in Alabama, who we had met on another part of the trip, this really nice black fans, like a middle-aged black couple, and they're like adult children. We had met them doing something else, and they saw us too. They, them, and my brother and sister-in-law had to, I mean, literally carry me and my wife and these three frat-boy dudes

back onto the boat. And we all went from like totally fine to out of it zombie just being led back onto the boat type situation. The only thing I could ever figure out was that it had to be the those marguerite. So I remain convinced to this day that I was drugged in Mexico.

I have no other explanation for it. So yeah, I have mixed feelings about the actual country of Mexico because the two times I've been there, I've not really enjoyed myself. But so there's definitely a potential for hilarity on this trip that I'm going on this weekend. So we'll see how that goes. I'll check back next week in the intro and I'll give you an update on how that all went down. But for now, enjoy this conversation.

It is all three of us. Corey was not drunk and Drew was not asleep for this one. We are all three there. And it's an interview between us and our good friend, Mary Wilcher. So hope you enjoy and holler back at us next week. All right, guys, now that we've heard Trey's wonderful tale of being drugged in Mexico, this is Corey with some ticket updates. Also, if you're out there and Trey comes back with some Viagra somehow,

please pray for me because we often have to sleep together on tour. I'm kidding. You don't have to pray for me. I hope he brings back Viagra. So anyways, on sale now. We got Oxford, Mississippi, Bentonville, Arkansas. We just added a third and final show. Los Angeles, California. We just added another show.

Indianapolis, Indiana. That we're doing a full weekend in Huntsville, Alabama. Almost sold out. So get your tickets quick. Columbus, Ohio, Dayton, Ohio. And Liberty Township, Ohio. Here's some tickets that will be announced soon. Brooklyn, New York.

Providence, Rhode Island, New Brunswick, New Jersey, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, and Richmond, Virginia. You can get all those tickets at well-readcom.com. That is spelled just like this podcast. You can just read it off. It's W-E-L-L-R-E-D Comedy.com. Three, you can get tickets to our shows. You can get merchandise. We got T-shirts.

We got tank tops. We got coosies. And also, as always, this episode is brought to you by our book, The Liberal Redneck Manifesto Dragon Dixie out of the dark. You can pick that up on our website or anywhere of books are sold on Amazon where it debuted at number one

in political humor and religious humor. We're super proud of that. And we also just found out that it was named by Splitsider as I think number four on their top comedy books of 2016. And I got to tell you, that list also included people like Amy Schumer, Will Forte,

Norm MacDonald, and my literal hero, Mel Brooks. And I got to tell you guys, it means the world to me that y'all picked that book up because it put us on a list with Mel Brooks. And I could die. I literally could die with that being. That's the only accomplishment I need. That's fantastic. So pick that up.

If you've already got a copy, buy one for your papal. I bet he'd enjoy reading it. But anyways, enjoy this conversation that we had with one of our favorite people in the world. Mary Wilcher and continue to subscribe and download the well-read podcast. We love you. And as always, skew! The Popeyes Family Feast. Why is everybody suddenly family with Popeyes hits the table? Feed all those cousins with six pieces of our Bowley Seasoned Signature Chicken, two famous chicken sandwiches, two large mouth-watering sides, and four flaky biscuits.

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Was it the rock club that we was at that? Yeah, it's called the Poor House. That's right. And so in Raleigh, there's a production company called Figure 8, and we, we, we, We have worked with them some, and we love them all dearly. Wait, I'm sorry. Are you doing the intro? No, we're just talking.

You can talk. It's actually in Chapel Hill. It's actually in Chapel Hill. Sorry, that was Mary sneaking in there. Mary Wilcher, who's with us today in our hotel room in Riley. Hello, Mary. Hi, how's it going. She works for Figure 8.

That's how we met, Mary. We can say all this in the intro. I want you to repeat what you just said, because I didn't catch all that. What did you just say? About what? I don't know. Oh, I said y'all picked a really good time for this interview because I was able to accept to be able to do it because my grandfather just died and he is the only person in my family who I never told I was a lesbian. Oh, wow.

I see. So, yeah, starting off on a light note. I see now why you said that because, yeah, you wouldn't have, you would not have done it if he was still with us because he didn't know. Not that I think that he would be one of your listeners. Probably not. There's a reason I didn't tell him. It wasn't just because I forgot. Yeah, right.

Who did he think that your wife was? Never met her. Really? Didn't know she existed? Not my wife, not my kids. I was supposed to say you have kids. I have kids. And he didn't know you had kids?

Nope, he never asked. Oh, my goodness. What do you mean he never asked? Like, they would come around and he wouldn't ask who are those kids? No, I mean, I purposefully. didn't bring them around. I didn't see him very often. He lived in West Virginia, which is where I'm from. I was about to ask that. That's where is he from there native? Like born and raised, West Virginia? No. Where is he from?

Please not the South. Please not the South. I was sitting here like working on a way to make this a new joke about how. He is from the South. But he moved around a lot before we landed in West Virginia. And so I was born and raised in West Virginia. I owned a coal company in West Virginia, which is where you grew up. Yes, yes. Is that your paternal or maternal grandfather? Paternal. So on my dad's side.

He was, you know, just, we weren't very close. And, you know, once I moved from North Carolina, we didn't see him a lot. What were you when you moved to North Carolina? 15. Okay. And, you know, just we'd see him every now and then. And I just sort of chose to never bring it up. Right.

He never asked. I mean, there was never any question of like, hey, any place. plans to get married or have kids or he didn't ask typical sort of granddad thing. Did he ask other people in your family and just not you or he just wasn't that type of guy like he didn't ask or talk to anybody about that kind of thing? As far as my other two sisters, he just didn't, he didn't ask. He preferred to talk about what he wanted to talk about. And generally it was of a political nature.

And it was illuminating how he felt about things? Yeah, I'd imagine so. I asked that because my grandpa, who passed away like 10 years ago, he just didn't, like, it also was not talked about that my uncle, his son, was gay. It's gay. My uncle's still with us, but it just wasn't talked about. But also, my uncle would bring his partner over for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner and all this stuff all the time. And my grandpa was totally cool as long as you didn't talk.

about it. But I'm saying he went out of his way to avoid that. And I didn't know if it was that kind of situation with you or if he just if he was just a type of guy that just didn't care about that stuff or ask about it or whatever. I mean, he definitely is not a fan

of that sort of thing and of knowing that. No, lesbians, go! The rest of my family all knows about it. But first, you know, it was one of those things where, and I'm sure people will feel very strongly about how I handled this, but for me it was not worth it to have that argument.

It was not something that I felt like I was going to win him over to where like he was going to embrace everybody and it was all going to be great. Like I just didn't feel like I had anything to prove to him. Right. And I was not going to subject my family to him. It's like for the once every three years that I would go visit. It's interesting you said you're sure a lot of people have strong about. opinions about this. Do you give a shit about those opinions? If someone's like, you should have told him, you know, that's the only way the world's going to hurt, whatever. Don't hide.

That's what you mean, right? Is that people would be like, you can't, you can't live in fear. Why should you change who you are for that asshole, like that kind of attitude? Right. And yeah, and I think that I, I mean, I agree with those statements when it comes to sort of the general population. I feel like sometimes family is just different. Family is family and how you deal with family. is your own goddamn business. Exactly. I don't walk around like with, you know, in public going like, honey, don't hold my hand, let's pretend to be roommates. Right, right, yeah, yeah. Just so that the random guy down.

Well, you know what? It's like if people say don't change yourself for that asshole, well, like, I'm not going to change myself for you either, asshole. You know what I mean? Like, I'm not going to, I don't know, upset the family balance for no reason. It sounds like, it sounds like, I don't want to say this if it's not true, but it sounds like you don't care a whole lot about it. It's something you weren't very close, I guess I should say with him.

We weren't close, and I had seen, you know, my sisters are, what's the word I'm looking for? Straight. They're straight. They're both very straight. I'll say this on the pot is straight. Something we can talk about. And very, like, just argumentative. And they would take his bait, my grandfather, they would take his bait all the time. And that's just not who I am.

I can see this from a mile away. I am not going to tell you who I'm voting for. I'm not going to get into a political discussion with you because you're a man who sits around and reads everything, watches C-SPAN all day. I mean, you're just going to have so much more knowledge on this that I am, and I'm going to lose. But they would take the bait,

and I would watch how this conversation would go. And nobody won, but the only thing that happened was everybody was screaming at each other at the end. And nobody talked to each other for three years. You know, so it's like, yeah yeah i've been there talk about like we both like animals that's hard right people people ask us all the time like how our families

handle it or whatever and like i'm lucky in that the only family i have really much to do with very small group of people who are all also like it's you know my uncle's mom and you know my grandma and my sister and my mom and they're all they all are totally on board but my in-laws which is a huge group of people

they're like the dund dynasty crowd, you know, they are those people, but like, they just know better than to bring it. They don't bring it up. They're not like, like, they feel the same way. They know if they, because my wife, she is like the black sheep of that family because she is also liberal, you know, that's one of the things that we have in common. And so they, they wouldn't bring that stuff up around her. One of four things. One of four things. He says one of the things we have. We both live, we both live in the same half and we both hate the same people. That's about it. Honestly, that last one, that's what we have the same kids.

We and you have talked about this to an extent. Like, love, mutual love is one thing, but that mutual hate. If you hate the same people. Oh, God, that is the egg wash that binds it all together. That's scientifically true. I think I read that reason. Exactly. If you come home and you've had a bad day and, or like she has had a bad day and I'm wanting to talk to her about something like a sandwich I ate that was good, she's not going to be into it. But if she's in a bad mood and I come home about, did you see what? that bitch Shanda wrote on Facebook or whatever, she's gonna be like, oh my God.

And then, you know, and then you're bonding. Yeah. It's good. And I feel like there's strife on the other side of that, too, because there's times where my wife is like, did you see this article that I shared today about, and it's like something about the moon causing your mood to change or whatever? And I'm like, no. I didn't

see that. If I would have, I would have cursed all those people with their own witchcraft and hope that I put a hex on all their families. And she's like, don't say that. And I'm like, now we're fighting. But anyway, the hate is so much stronger than the love. Because, like, me and me and my girlfriend, Amber, well, she'll come home from work and I'll have been doing whatever it is that I do while she's at work.

And we will spend eight hours talking about all the things that we hated that day. And then it'll be like, I'll tell you what, this motherfucker at the goddamn. And that for eight hours. And then at the end, it'd be like, so anyways, I signed a development deal. Oh, that's great. Anyways, you want to go to sleep? You know what I mean? Like, it's just like that was a good thing.

We're like, yeah, it's great, whatever. But the hatred, Lord will go on forever. You just want somebody to validate your hatred. Absolutely. You don't feel like the holy shitty person. Right, and it feels good. And that, you know, you can... Is this, this outlook we have cynical or really, really hopeful?

No, realistic. It's just realistic. It's neither, though, saying... No, real... I think realism is separate, like, whatever. But I feel like there might be some hope. Like, I think we're being romantics right now, guys. I think we're being hateful romantics.

Man, we can all make it. We can all be in love forever as long as we hate the same shit. Genuinely feel that. I literally, when Amber comes in and is pissed off and cusses something that is so arbitrary, I literally fall 100% more in love with her. Every single time it happens, when she starts off a sentence with, you're not going to believe what this bitch at Target said. My heart flutters.

Yeah. I'm just like, I have chosen the one for whom my heart belongs. Yeah. But so. So, anyway, you're dead grand ball. Yeah. Yeah, no, they just, they know better than to even bring it up. And so, and I appreciate.

that. My in-laws bring it up. Right. But that's what I love them. That would really suck. I'm glad I don't have to deal with that. Well, they're very, you know, they want to, like, sit around dinner, and then

you speak, and then I speak, and then, like, they fancy it sort of a, we're going to have a debate. We don't always. It's not always civil, but it rarely ends in no one talking for three years. Mostly because we avoid, we avoid us, mismortion. But as long as we avoid that issue,

it's all good. So, but the rest of your family knows, have they known for like a long time? And was that weird at all? Or like, how did that go? They have known for a long time. I mean, I told, well, half of my family's known. Like, my mom's side of the family, my mom and my sisters and my dad, he passed away a few years ago, but he knew. But my mom knew first.

and I was living in L.A. at the time and was dating a girl there and had come home. And every time I came home, I sort of felt like my mom didn't really like I was living my life because I was in L.A. And I was doing a bunch of stuff I shouldn't have been doing. Party in L.A.

Are you a model? Yes, I was modeling and acting. And were you doing like the stuff that models do? Like you're partying a lot. You're living that L.A. I'm so kind. Yeah. You don't have to. You're a mom. We don't have to get into that. But, uh, but yeah, that's what she just thought you were, you were getting a little, you were off the rails a little bit. Yeah, so I knew when I came home for this particular visit.

Were you a little off the rails? You know. What were you at this time we're talking about? 21 or two. What year was that? Is that a rude question? I'm sorry. I'm sorry if it is. You don't have to. I'm trying to remember. I don't. I don't. I'm going to be 37 on Sunday.

I'm just trying to put like the time, like, what's going on in LA? It's about $2,000. 99,000. All right, so you're doing cocaine tonight, so easily on. No, no, no, no. Let's keep it general. I was not living up to my mother's expectation. Right, right, there we go.

We were here at the Liberal Redneck podcast, we'd like to give a disclaimer that any opinions that the three of us comedians have do not necessarily reflect that of the person being interviewed. Thank you so much for listening to the, liberal redneck hour. So you're doing coke with a king's alien. Right. That's the reality of George Monk, no matter what you're saying. But so I sort of, you know, I kind of, and I was dating this girl at times. So when I came home, I sort of knew I wanted to tell my mom about this, but I also

knew that my mom probably had some stuff that she wanted to talk to me about, my lifestyle choices in particular, having nothing to do with who I was dating at the time. And so I chose to bring mine up first. Yeah, probably a good idea. You want her to go in on all this stuff and the end of and you're like, yeah, well, so let me tell you this. So now that we've got all that out there, I might as well go ahead and say. I was actually just going to deflect the situation, bring it back on me and be like,

after I tell you this, there's no way you can come back and be like, and another. Right, right, yeah, yeah. That's how shitty you're being. Smart fucking move. That's awesome. Yeah, well, that's like a, that's a, I feel like that's a very 20-year-old move of like, I'm going to get out of this by making this. Like, it's like an emotional distraction almost. Yeah, it was almost like my mom didn't care that I told her I was dating a woman.

It was more like I had stolen her thunder from like this. Right. I had all this great shit. I was mad at you about. He's like, now we have to talk about that. And if I display anger at you, it sounds. Exactly. Exactly.

I did not want to have to have empathy today, you motherfucker. That's. But I actually really support you in this completely. Yeah, but the other, you ruined it, Mary. The best compliment my mother ever gave me was when I was in high school, and she called me a clever bitch. You clever bitch. It served me well.

All right, well, okay, so that was in North Carolina? Your mom was in North Carolina? Yeah, she was in North Carolina at that time. So I, you know, told her I was dating a woman, and I think her first question was, Well, it's this like the trendy thing to do in a way. And I was like, The scooters?

Is this like the kids in their scooters? Which, you know, I mean, it was. It started with like, you know, like, you know, kissing my girlfriend's in bars, which was sort of just like, oh, I'm going to get attention in free drinks. And then it was like, I knew it. Can I tell you? Wait a minute. That's exactly how I got into cargo shorts.

I'm not going to lie. Just like, well, you know, they're kind of convenient. And then like 30 years later, this is who he is. Yeah, this is who I am as a person. I had no idea. Yeah, it was sort of like one of those things where like, oh, it just started off as something like fun and girls are pretty and, you know, it was great. And then it was sort of like in this a little more than I thought I would. And then I sort of, I've met this one woman where I was like, I want to not just make out with you at a bar.

Right. I want to spend time with you and hang out with you. and, you know, so, um, anyway, we dated. And then you saw every man ever and realized that we're disgusting pieces of shit. So it was like, well, okay. Clearly what was in the cards. Seems like an easy choice. No, I could see how in your mom's mind, though, like she, she already had this laundry list of things, apparently, that she thought you were fucking up at or whatever that you were in.

And so, like, you throw, and I can see why she would be like, oh, is this just part of it? You know what I mean? Like, is this just part of what she's going? Well, uh, as opposed to being a real thing and who you are. Well, one of my favorite jokes. It obviously is, but I can see why her mind. One of my favorite jokes recently, Jake James said, oh, oh, you're 100% straight. You seem to be into the right parties yet.

So I do think there's a, that exists, but you're saying this was different, of course. At this point, she's married with his. You should really commit to the goddamn bid. That's still respectable. I was just trying to get the conversation moving forward. Sorry. But it was a valid question, but I said, no, no, it's not. You know, and I, that was not ultimately the woman I ended up with.

But, you know, I at least came out to her and it told my sisters about it. And they were all, like, super supportive and, like, super cool and, like, sweet. Okay. Most of my friends were sort of like, yeah, and? Right. We kind of saw it. I feel like most friends of people that come out of the closet probably feel that way. Because, like, I don't know.

I've never been surprised. I've seen situations where friends were surprised and they were angry, but they weren't like, I'm a Christian and you can't be gay. Like, I've seen situations in college. I'm thinking of one specifically where the guy was like, I don't know, I just feel lied to. And then he realized that was very selfish of him. him, but I guess the point I'm making is the only time I've seen it be a surprise. It almost like makes the front mad.

One of my good friends, his brother came out as gay, and he was very upset at first. For kind of the same way, like, you're my brother. And he didn't know it, no idea. But that was years ago, and now they're great. Everything's fine. Yeah, I wanted to ask you this, and this is hopefully just to make me not feel like a bad person. My friend Jeff from high school came out to me. first dude he came out to because we were just boys in high school and he felt and he knew I was a

comic and he knew where I stood on gay rights and stuff so he felt more comfortable coming out to me so but when he did he called me on the phone he's like Corey it's Jeff uh she got something I got to tell you I'm gay and I said I go yeah I know so what you know who cares I have since then heard people in the gay community I don't know if this is everybody because of course you can't I know I'm not trying to generalize but that's not necessarily the thing that you're supposed to say. Like, even if you did think that, I'm not supposed to go, yeah, I know. You know what I'm saying?

Like, oh, is that true? That's what I've heard that. No, that's why I'm asking her, like her personal opinion. Because I said, and Jeff didn't know that. Jeff didn't give a shit. Jeff was just like, really? And I was like, I mean, yeah, kind of. But I don't give a shit.

I never gave a shit. But I've heard from some people when you go, yeah, I know. Or we all knew. It's kind of like, I don't know. I've heard a lot of times that's not necessarily what you're supposed to say. That's interesting to me. I'm just curious if I'm a dickhead or. not. Yes, you are. Aside from that, you are. In this particular situation, um, you know,

I think that the, the friends who sort of did that to me, I did have that initial reaction of like, what the hell? Like, you knew? Like, I didn't even know. Like, I didn't even know. Like, right. How did you know? You know, it's almost like I wanted more of a like, right? Well, because, but I heard, and that's one thing I heard was that like, it's, it can be by their reaction. And you're like, one thing, one thing I've heard. Yeah, one thing I've heard is that it's, it's inconsiderate to say that because it's implying that I was aware that you were different and I shouldn't think that. But it's like, I know, I know. Well, see, that's how, thank you.

Thank you. That's how, no, but that's how I feel. But I'm like, I'm very aware of my friends who were straight because straight men are pigs and are constantly exhibiting. Buddy, are they ever. Yeah, right. So, like, I know when some are straight. Straight men are pigs, too, from the record. doesn't act like that. I'm like, maybe.

And again, I don't care. I never put any thought into it, but I was like, yeah, whatever, I'm not surprised. Like, there, I mean, I don't think I'm being a dick by saying there is a difference. Mary, can you, on behalf of the gay community, just absolve Corey if he stands? That's all I want. Clearly what he's doing.

Is there like a move that you all do or something? You give him like a little hail. You need some rainbow beads and Hail Tristan's. Yeah, RuPaul. Not him with some rainbow beads. It's like, you are absolved.

I mean, I also think that a lot of times it's like, you know, damned if you do, damned if you don't. Because had you sort of had a bigger reaction of like, oh, what? I would have never thought. Then you'd have that person going like, well, what does this upset you? You know, just. Right. What exactly? Gay people can also be normal.

What's yet? Right. So I feel like, you know, I mean, you're damned if you do, you're damned if you do. You're damned if you don't. I think it's cool. I mean, I would rather. have someone have that reaction to me than obviously the opposite.

So, I mean, I do think, you know, people want to, like, have their moment. I think a lot of people, when they come out, it's scary for them and they're worried about how people are going to take it. So maybe they want a little bit more of a moment of a, just sort of a, like, take a second. Carthusus or something.

Yeah, and, like, just, like, they feel that weight come off, and then they want you to sort of, like, acknowledge it, maybe ask a couple questions, and then be cool. I'd like it to be known. Jeff did not respond to that in a negative manner at all. So Jeff, because Jeff will listen to this. Like, he didn't at all.

Yeah. I've got a question. You said this is when you're out in L.A. and you're in your like late teens, early 20s. You met this girl. So, like, when you were in high school, did you date guys and stuff? Or were you just, like, never, like, because that's just what you did? I would say particularly for myself, I am an equal opportunity employer when it goes to who I date.

I honestly feel like I fall in love with a person. The person. I have dated men and I have dated women. And my wife, we just celebrated our 12th anniversary. And she is my favorite person. Like it's not, you know, I love that she's a woman. That's amazing. And all the things that come with that.

But that's not the reason I fell in love with. Isn't there now a name for that? We were talking about that. We were talking about that. You believe that you love the person and not like the gender or the whatever. Like there's a word for that. Isn't there? Well, I know it's hard to keep up with that.

Well, one that's similar to that. There was just the two, God damn it. That's why we need to vote Trump. And I would still identify as a lesbian now because she and I have been together for so long. And clearly so much of what I love about her, it is. Where did you all meet? We met Atlanta when I went to school in Atlanta for advertising, and we met there. That was post-L.A.

Post-L.A. So I don't want to skip the cop fueled LA parties, but you're at Easton-LIS party in your life. I'm interested in for sure. But I feel like you want us to. So, okay, so you went to Atlanta. You went to school in Atlanta. Where did you go to school? I went to a school called the Creative Circus. It's a real school.

Is it a real circus school, or is that like sort of a cheeky town? You literally ran off and joined the circus? I literally did. So if anyone out there is listening and you don't want your kids to run off, join the circus, get into lesbian, coke-filled orgies out in L.A. and all that, don't be someone who owns the goddamn coal company and has a shitty. All right, I'm sorry, I'm kidding. So I moved home from L.A.

Back to, I moved to North Carolina back there with my mom for a little bit. Hey, was that always Raleigh? Or is this, or like this area? North Carolina where you lived and stuff, was it? Chapel Hill. Okay. We've always been in Chapel Hill. Okay.

But, so I moved home and sort of got my shit together and was like, okay. They also tell you, like, one of the reasons I moved home to was with acting and modeling. And I'm sure probably also with comedy. Like, it's a hard business. And if you, if there's, if you can't see yourself doing anything else ever, that's the only reason to stay in that business. Right. And I didn't feel that passion for it. And so clearly because I was doing a lot of other stuff.

That's how you're supposed to feel? I quit, guys. I'll see y'all. I'm kidding. It's really hard. That's what people that say, like when you're young, you know that, but you don't really know it. You don't know until you're in it. And you have to, like, and I felt that passion in the beginning.

And after a while, it was sort of like, I'm not sure this is what I meant to do my whole life. I need to go figure out some other shit. So I went home and, you know, at that point I was 24 and I hadn't gone to college and I was sort of figuring out like, what do I do? And my younger sister was in college and I was like, oh my God, I can't start college now and be in a grade below my younger sister. Yeah, that would be humiliating. I just joined the circus instead. So I decided to go into advertising. And they have a couple different schools.

that sort of specialize that, and they're essentially like art schools. And you can go as, you can go straight out of high school. Most people go to undergrad first before they go. Or they have a whole other career before they go and do this. I just happen to sort of be in acting before that and then go into it. And I went to that school for a couple years. And while I was in that school, I was working in a bar and met my wife there. She trained me behind the bar.

she Explain that night Well she was not happy about having to train you behind the bar I'll tell you like I showed up at this place It's like first day on the job I'm nervous

I haven't been in Atlanta very long and you know like I just I'm not going to do situations and so you know this five foot one blonde chick walks out and the manager's like oh you're training tonight she's like ugh yeah what the

Fuck. I know exactly what she thought. I hate. Yeah. Because I was a server for whatever, and I know how that got. What was it, was it like a busy night? It was like a weekend night or something. Yeah.

I know that. Trey and I were servers. Corey's family had servants, so we all get away. Right. But yeah, I know how she was feeling at that moment. She's like, oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, God, I'm going to make any money tonight. She can have so many questions.

She'd blow me down. And it was just like, ah, ha, ha. And then we get behind the bar. Like I said, she's tiny. She's five foot one. Behind a bar, she is like a, this is her domain. Like, she owns this shit. And she, like, knows all the customers.

She's like this amazing bartender just running shit. And I'm sort of standing back going on like. One blonde bartender. She was at the time. You were very lucky I didn't make her fun. Well, that was inappropriate. Please continue your show. And I will say that.

I said worse shit. She'd take it as a compliment. You've met her. You met her. She came to the poor house. I'm aware, that's what I'm saying. Okay. She's good looking.

I'm speaking tired. I'm talking about friends, God, you know, get off my ass. All right. Anyway, sorry, Mary has some. No worries, no way. So, she's impressing you over the course of this night. She's not trying to. Right.

By any means, she just wishes I would go home. Right, yeah, yeah. That's it. But I proceeded to sort of try to get on. her good side as she trained me a couple more nights and would come in on my day off every now and then, would sit at her bar and things. And we became kind of friends, but honestly, she wanted nothing to do with me, like, was just not interested. And I was being very overt.

And she was like, no, no, no. And I'm like, at home, Mary said that and then was pointing to gestures up and down her body, which is, hello. Which does hit. She was a model, as we mentioned. Some people want more than that, Mary. It's about the person. Some people aren't attracted sexually to bodies. It's people.

I heard someone say that very recently. I don't remember who it was. Just because she's a blonde bartender doesn't mean she's shallow, Mary. I was going on experience for every time. Fair enough. Fair enough. Fair enough. I had dated in the past.

I had not had trouble before. I guarantee you. I respect that. We'll drink to it. Nice recovery. So anyway, she totally fell in love with you. Eventually, she did come around. I'm curious, and if I'm reaching here, I apologize.

I don't know much about Atlanta. I've never spent a lot of time there. If I'm Christmas every bad thing I've ever said with what you just did, does it make it? I'm wondering, was it in that time in Atlanta, was that difficult? Was it odd? that's the south but Atlanta's a little different people say but I don't know Atlanta's got a

Yeah Atlanta's got a big gay scene right At least now I mean this wasn't You've been together 12 years So not that long ago Not like crazy long Yeah no I mean it was

It was pretty I felt like it was pretty normal It felt like LA? Yeah it was very similar to that Okay Did you ever go to the freak nick? No You know what the freak nick is?

No I don't either. Should I have? I was hoping you would. He always wanted to hear about it. He was never invited. There was this lady. There was a party.

There was this lady I used to work with when I was buying books on college campuses back in the day. And she was a secretary at Greenville Tech. And she used to always, I would, she'd be like, you're from close to Atlanta every time. Like, I'd forgotten what she said. And she's like, oh, yeah. She's like, I used to go down in the freaknik. My boyfriend would get on his motorcycle. And I'd get on the back of that thing butt-naked.

Just let them fly out. And I thought, well, the freaknik has to be a pretty, you know, accepting place. It's like a party. There's a lot of rap. There's a lot of concerts. Most of them are rap, R&B. It's Atlanta.

Yeah, I think it's surrounded around spring break, and I think it's the spring break. Well, that's all checking out. I'm going to get something wrong, and then we're going to get a lot of emails. But I'm close. Well, that's actually the way you find out what something is on the internet is

people describe it incorrectly, and someone will tell you what it actually is. Anybody out there that knows what the Freakness is, please, Freak Nick. Freak Nick. When spring break and freak Nick made you want to drop out of school and never go back. That's outcast?

It is outcast. It is. Okay. So love is blossoming in Atlanta. I'm sorry. It's okay, Corey. All right. So she came around.

Yes. And you guys got together. Yes. And it was one of those things that was sort of surprising to me because generally, anytime I have ever had to sort of chase after someone once I win and get what I was after, I'm over it. Like, it was like, well, that was fun. What's next?

Yeah. And then it was like, I just kept waiting for that moment and it never was coming. I'm sort of a real pessimist. Like, this is in a minute now, this is happening. And 12 years later, still like. Still checking the watch. 12 years, two kids. You guys live here with two kids and here we're in North Carolina.

And it's been an interesting climate, I guess, politically. Well, I wanted, when and where did you get married first? I don't want to skip over the whole thing, but I do want to, because I have kids too, and I definitely wanted to get into that son. Honeymoon, what did you wear? Where did you go? Who did you see? What did you serve at the wedding? Well, we actually... Brat Frix and get the fuck.

out, Mary. Corey's Jewish grandmother's here, that we've never known he had. Don't you talk about my grandson like that? Yeah. Sorry she comes out. It's red wine, dude. It's red wine. We actually didn't have a big wedding.

So we had been together for about all my dates are fuzzy. I didn't do my timeline. But we had been together for about seven years when we decided to do in vitro to have kids. So when she was pregnant, so side note, my eggs, her body.

Okay. We can come back to that. She was pregnant, and a friend of ours was getting married in New Jersey, and it just happened to fall just a couple months after it became legal for same-sex marriage, for anybody could come from around to get married in New York. It would only be legal in New York. I thought you were going to say New Jersey, I was like, well, that is the first time that stayed

that had been on the cutting edge of anything except cheese. No, we were going to... Your Pappalfordia would have also been mad that you went to New York in general. No, no, they'd make a lot of money there. He probably is right with that. But, so we knew we had this sort of this wedding to go to New Jersey and we're like, well, shit, we're going to be there. Why don't we just stay a couple extra days?

Go into the city and, you know, make this legal. You're already knocked up, like... Wait, so your wife was pregnant when you got married? Yes. Up top. That's what I'm talking about. So was my She's coming out

Shotgun wedding You said you didn't have your dates Fuzzy That was good People ask me how I've been married I'm always like How old is my son Okay

He's five years That's good Yeah so we've been together For 12 and I know Yours is because you got drunk At a casino Hers was out of

Planned love The second one Was drunk at a casino Corey The first one was Because I got drunk After winning a comedy competition Thank you very much

Is you sure when the time I beat you in a comedy competition? Absolutely certain. Anyway, then that kid would have been a girl. I don't know what that means, but it's funny. Also, if my kids ever hear this one day, I hope by that time they do know that the first one at least was unplanned, but it's still awesome. So, shut up, Corey.

We'll be like cassette. I know, but yeah, but I will, anyway. I wish that gay people could get drunk and accidentally get pregnant. There was a way. It would add a whole other wire to it. That would be great. It definitely takes the romance out of it the way we had to do it. I'm sure.

Very clinical. But yeah, so we went to New Jersey for this wedding. We had on a bad drinking red wine. Just talking about your wedding. Just talking about your wedding. You know, wed rind. We had a couple friends in New York who we told about it, and they would agree to be our witnesses.

And it was actually happening when one of the huge hurricanes, was coming through. I think you, I want to say, oh no, it was Irene. It was Hurricane Irene. And so the amazing thing was this, that was God. You? That's how it works, Mary. God heard there was a gay wedding going on.

He killed so many people with your love. And he sent Irene there. That's how it works. No, no, no, no. You'd be so selfish, Mary. You caused a hurricane with your love. Is this, Irene? Or it cleared.

out all the lines of the courthouse because this whole state law was very new and much of them. It was God, but in your camera. I mean, I had never seen New York that dead. I mean, we literally made the last flight out to New Jersey. That was not 9-11, though.

You said it was 2003, did she? No. You're so off. Nobody has said 2003 this whole time. What did we talk about in terms of you make a math job? We talked about this. I was still in L.A. I hadn't even met my wife during that.

I know. See, I knew that because I'm keeping up. The Lianne had not sold out yet. She was still heavily involved with their tour. I should have gone back to Kings Lillian and I would have known him immediately. Always, baby. Always the point of reference. Are they going downhill or am I going down? Okay. So your wedding caused a hurricane. Right. Yes. So we were the cause of that. It was great, though, because we found a guy who would drive us into the city from New Jersey. to then get, because you can't do it on a Sunday.

The wedding's on a Saturday. Can't do it on a Sunday. We drove in on a Sunday, stayed at a nice hotel. And on Monday, on a random Monday, we get married. And it was just at the courthouse. There was barely anybody else there. You know, we had a couple friends there, and it was not how I always pictured my wedding day by any means.

A little girl in North Carolina never pictured just a fucking disheveled city and two people at a courthouse getting married, really. Yeah, surprise, surprise. And actually, probably from my mom too. She's like, you always talked about having like this princess gown and this amazing, you know, like big to do for what I'm like, yeah, no. I mean, I'm cool with how it worked out. I was about that. Have you ever thought about, you know, some people like go back later and like do it over?

Like, you know what I mean? I've heard of people doing that. Yeah. For years and later on they like, in a situation like that or whatever. I'm going to huge on reenactments. That's funny, but I'm talking about, like, you know, white people with money and they're doing that. Well, what you're talking about, you're talking about people in the South getting married either when they're super poor and or when they're super pregnant. Right.

Yeah, yeah. Later on, it's like we didn't get a chance to do this redo. Well, I'm just saying that's a thing that happens. It actually works in this sense, too, because, you know, we went to New York and did it in the courthouse because it was legal in New York. Exactly. And it was not legal in North Carolina. Now it's legal here. We have actually talked about that, that, you know, maybe someday that we would do that.

So two women can get married in the state of North Carolina, but then they can't shit in whatever bathroom they want at their own wedding. That's wild. That is wild. When did gay marriage become legal here? I didn't even know that it happened. Drew, it's legal everywhere. But is that when it happened, though? Yes.

Yeah. We were not ahead of the curve on that one. There were a lot of people real opposed to that around here. I was living in New York when that happened. For the record, it's not legal in Alabama. because the Supreme Court justice will not listen to the Supreme Court. Right, but I was living in New York when that happened with, not with you, but at the time, I feel like, because it was the same, the gay pride parade happened around literally the same week,

and it was sincerely the coolest goddamn thing. Like, I was walking down Fifth Avenue and they were having the gay pride. It was summer 2015, right? Yeah. And so, like, they had, was it 14? It was 15. 15. Again, I was there.

Because so the gay pride parade just happened to coincide. side with the fact that gay marriage nationwide became legal. Well, I bet they were... Oh, I'm sorry, they did, but that was... Dude, so I was walking down through Chelsea and, like, Fifth Avenue or whatever, and, like, you...

I was fucking high-fiving people. The energy was insane. It was, like, people were crying, and that's like... And I've always wanted to be a thing, because I've always thought it was bullshit, but that was, like, the first time it really hit me, like, oh, God,

it meant a lot to me just from a, I think this is right standpoint, but I've never had to walk. in those shoes and like seeing the gay community sincerely bursting into tears. I'm like, how the fuck, how all you people, I just, I wish I had a camera and I could just film that and then show my hateful ass fucking relatives going. How is that a goddamn choice? What the fuck? There was a, the day that that that ruling came down, I was in Detroit for my old job.

I was in Detroit for my old job. And like, I've always, I've always, that's been the thing. I've always been the most passionate about politically because of my uncle and growing up where I did and just hearing all this shit about it, whatever else. Like, I've just always gotten really fired up about it. And, but still, right, I've never, I'm not gay, though, so I still don't get it. But I have always really cared. And, like, the day that happened, I was flying back to Knoxville from Detroit for my old job.

And there was a guy in the bar. I was sitting at the airport waiting on. And this guy was very clearly gay. But he was just sitting there working. he wasn't like you know he was just working on his laptop or whatever but I'm saying I mean the dude was gay and like I so badly wanted to just like hug him and shit I just want to like high-five him or something and just be like oh dude no that's a great day right it's awesome but I was like I can't do that that's ridiculous but like it would have been it was hell it's probably ridiculous for me to be doing it but it was just during the parade and like buddy it was fucking I was so genuinely I literally felt like my team had just won an event and And I was getting to high-five the team. Like, it was fucking awesome. And also all the shitty people we know and how pissed off you knew that made them.

That was very part of the too. And I hate to admit this, that might have made me more happy. Well, of course. Like, I was so happy for y'all. At the same time, I was so happy. I was so happy that, like, a lot of people that I know were lost. They lost. They were fucking lost because they were fighting a shitty fight.

Well, and I can say, like, as a mother at that point, that was huge because it had so many other ramifications for us. as a family. I mean, to tell you, when our twins were born, okay, you got two kids? I have two kids. I have twins. Yes, a boy and a girl. Boy and a girl, okay. So, you know, my, I want to get into that anyway. My wife carried them and they came early so we had an emergency C-section. But, you know, when they arrive, you know, they come to you with the, you got to fill out your birth certificate. Well, I'm telling the woman like, okay, well, we both want to be on,

you know, and we have this thing saying we're both legal guardians of the Born here? They were born in North Carolina, yeah. And the woman looks at me like, I have three heads and I've just asked her. She's like, this is the form I have. And it has the space for a mother and a father. Do you think she was like, I don't agree with this? Or do you think she was like, I don't know what I'm putting to do?

I think that she, you know, yeah, like, she didn't show me one way or the other, whether she was for or against anything. It was more just like, this is the form I have. and I don't know what to tell you. It's such a prime example of why all this stuff is such horseshit because just like the littlest thing in terms of bureaucracy is the biggest thing, right? Yeah. Like your name being on the person's people of your fucking children is a huge thing. But the day to day how do we do, how do we exist in this hospital is such a small thing.

But it was one of those things I just did. I was not prepared for like your children are here. I had one in the NICU, one in the room with us. I kind of wanted both of them in the NICU because they felt safer there. It's an emergency C-section, early thing too. So I know how you were feet. Well, not exactly, but I'm saying you are not, you fuck the bureaucracy. You've got a whole lot going on.

You got a whole lot. Yeah, my wife is like, you know, rage you with adrenaline because she hasn't slept in three days. She's totally like, oh, my God, are the kids okay? She can't even get to the NICU to see the other one. Like, we're just like a mess. Pour all the shit. Yeah. And this woman is telling me that.

You're having to deal with this because some fat fucking accounting doesn't want to have to draw off another piece of god damn paper. And they wouldn't even know. There is no other piece of paper. There's nothing that could draw in it. But it's like sitting there going like. Could you guys choose which one of you is going to be the mom? Right. And it's like.

Right now. Yeah. And it's like. Yeah. Do you want us to whip them out and like fuck? Yeah. What are you talking about? Lord.

Should we each pick one? Like what would you prefer here? Like we're both the month. We're both going to rent. And it was just like. So how did? What did you do? we picked one.

Like you, one to? No, I mean, we, um. You picked one of you two. Yeah. Yeah. And at this moment, we didn't have much of a choice, um, that she was, she was put on because she was, at that point, she delivered them. So there was no, like, I had to, would have had to have proved that they were mine and, you know, do DNA testing and all that. Jesus Christ, man.

But it's one of the reasons we, I mean, there were a lot of reasons why we chose to do my eggs and her body. I mean, the main reason being it's the closest we could come to having kids together are both feeling a part of it. But it also meant no one can ever deny that these were hers because they grew inside her body.

She grew them. And they, it's my DNA. Yeah. Yeah. Like her blood was flowing through, you know, it's like they were connected on such a deep level. And go ahead. And go ahead. Well, now they don't have to.

So, okay, so. that's the other things. In North Carolina, at that time, same-sex couples could not do second-parent adoption. Because, and I may get my facts wrong here, but it was actually, because there was, it was due honestly to a lesbian woman who had broken up with her girlfriend and essentially put in a bill that said, like, man, I don't, there shouldn't be second-parent adoptions. She ruined everyone else's like. ruined it for everybody else so that so like I couldn't exactly and just didn't want that to be possible just to show you we're all the same because in divorce court everyone's the worst right and you can yeah you kind of felt like come on you just screwed everybody like you're in helping yourself you screwed the rest of us so it was sort of one of those things where like it is what it is and we just if we ever

come into these situations you know we had some legal paperwork put in place of like legal guardians and this and that so that we were both sort of connected if anything happened to either one of us and all of that. I mean, now that we are considered legally married, even in the state of North Carolina, we don't have that issue. I mean, we're both now, can be considered parents. Honestly, I still have to go back and do the paperwork for it. Well, dude. Well, dude. I haven't gotten around to them. The bureaucracy, man, it knows. No, I know the bureaucracy. I mean, I wonder if they still even Christ in the bureaucracy, not you. If anybody knows if they even have the right, is there

birth certificates now with. Well, no, absolutely. I was Jesus Christ in the bureaucracy. your actually because like what you basically just told me is that there's a fucking child inside your wife who is both hers and your child by not even uh i want it to be by literal science and DNA and you're having to go through this bullshit because we have to fill out these fucking in the most sensitive time of your life when you're freaking the fuck out because there's an emergency C-section you've got to deal with that because some Mike pence motherfucker wants this go well we have to go by the book on this and the Bible's like to do it up That is fucking bullshit, and that is also a side of being gay that I, what, because that's never crossed my mind because I've never had to deal, I've never had to deal with pregnancy, period.

There was the one, there was the one PayPal of abortion. And even like, you know, it's this, the people there were not judging us in any way, but I've never, I have never felt more judged and more like, just like, terrible about, you know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know, I, But you're so vulnerable when you first have kids of like, you're just going to fuck it up. And oh, my God, this little tiny being and you haven't slept and it's crazy. And someone is questioning your family. You've just started a family for literally like 45 seconds. And like someone's questioning it.

And it's like, what if I done? What if I brought my kids into? This is terrible. What am I do? It's like. And I know several nurses. You're going to be shocked by this, but I've dated a lot of them. And I guarantee you in those moments.

They absolutely just wanted to help you out. Absolutely. But didn't have the paperwork. It's just like, look, I would love to do this as part of my job, but I can't. It's like when a fat dude comes into Abercrombie and Fitch trying to get pants, and the guy has to go, we don't make a 44. You know, like, I'd love to help you out. I'm not mad that you're fat, but we don't have them here at where I work.

You know, that's just not what we've set up to do. I will say that. The people who work at Abercrombie are mad at you from that. The doctors and nurses, the doctors and nurses were amazing. They showed no judgment. It was clearly all about just our family. It was just the like, that there wasn't a form for us. Yeah.

And then we had just... It just literally wasn't a form. And that makes you feel shitty. Yeah. You're not... It, like, that's objective proof that, like, you're literally not recognized by society. Yeah. As being a valid family or, like, a thing.

And it's, like, such a small thing. It's, like, literally, like, two letters on a form. Yeah. But that's what it means. And that shit's fucking heavy and fucked up. It's crazy to me that anybody can listen to that and still think that like that isn't wrong. You know what I mean?

And there are people who would. But like I don't know how you could listen to what you just said and not think, God, that's so fucking, that's ridiculous. That's stupid, whatever. But it's like we're not at. It's like we're not asking anybody else to do it. Right. I'm not asking anything from anybody except to just be our family.

Right. Just let us be for a little bit. That'd be great. God damn immediacy of the situation. Like regardless of whether you're straight, gay, or whatever the fuck, it doesn't matter. Like, the immediacy of I'm in this stressful situation, you're immediately coming me with documents. Like, I've just had a child and then someone's going an initial here. And what's your security password or whatever?

Like, that's a weird thing. Like, give me fucking a second. You know, like I just, this, a whole thing that one day will put you in a home just came out of my vagina. Like, give me a goddamn second to not fill out a fucking form. That's weird as shit. Yeah, they don't let you leave until that one is filled out. Yeah, like, I literally thought, they were asking me to come over there and do that. And I was like, I was holding on to the rail by the bed.

And I was like, no, no. And they're like, what? Why? And I was like, because if I was like, oh, it's real. I'm going to pass out. right now. But I went over there and, but like literally the shit I was signing, fill it out or whatever, I don't even know what it was like.

Because it's so fucking intense. And for you, but I'm saying that was such a routine. I know, I'm saying, I just go down and check the boxes. They were like, just do this. It doesn't matter. Right. And then that nerds came to marry and. Exactly.

She realized this isn't routine. I'm, yeah. I realize it going in. I'm kind of floor. I know. It's wild, man. father section and she's like, no. You can't just do that? Why? I am so floored by this because obviously I knew with the marriage stuff and

adoption issues, just how full of shit the legislator can be, but just the idea of being in that moment where, correct me if I'm wrong, it's legal, quote unquote, for both of you to have a kid together. There's nothing illegal about that. Thank God. we're not in that backwards of a fucking country. But then in terms of making it legal for tax purposes, for insurance purposes, for school purposes, for all the shit that is just

normal that we take for granted, it just didn't exist. Yeah. Because no one had made it exist. Well, I heard stories of you know, same-sex parents, like one parent not being able to go on a field trip with their kid because they weren't on the birth or date. I was about to ask

about, because I feel like, Because, see, when we're outside the South specifically, we get all these questions about, like, people literally think that we're three straight white men. And people think because we're liberals and non-religious that, like, we're not safe here or whatever, sometimes. Like, seriously, they're like, how did you escape? What do people think about you, whatever? Like, we get that kind of thing. So I do think this is something we should ask on this podcast because of what it is. but like do you, how often do you run into shitty situations as a parent in a, you know,

a parent in a same-sex marriage here in North Carolina? Like on a day-to-day basis, how big of a thing is it for you? How frequent, how severe, whatever. Well, you know, we live in Chapel Hill Carborough area, which is one of the most progress. progressive areas of North Carolina of I mean it rivals any other progressive city so I would you say that do you mean in the South or generally I mean generally I mean it's just a very like forward thinking place right right we're not typical doesn't think that place exists right yeah I mean it's it's so small you know in comparison to the whole state and so you know I we don't come in

contact with it in Chavill Gros because they're so All about, like, they're all about just like everybody, be yourself. Like, doesn't matter. Gay, straight, whatever. Right. Anything in between. Like, go for it. We are a very accepting community.

And that is great. However, whenever I travel outside of that area, like whenever we go, say, maybe towards the beach and you're stopping along the way and Confederate flags are flying in every other yard. on trucks and this and that and that. And, you know, that's when I'm going to make a point to not hold my wife's hand in public just out of this, a fear that I have. I mean, maybe these people, maybe whoever we come in contact would be like, right on awesome, or not even give a shit, not even care.

But for me, it's more out of a like, exactly. I've got kids in the car. I've got this. And I don't, it's, you know, yeah, I mean. I mean, I think that I am, I'm definitely more cautious about that just in general than my wife is. She is like, just, she walks. The one one, blind bartender is like, fuck them, go on. Yeah, she, exactly.

Wish your motherfucker would. I mean, she loves. I feel like I identify with your sisters and your wife a lot. I mean, she is all about like. That woman, I'm going to marry a woman exactly like that. She is all about like, I fucking dare you to say something. Wish your motherfucker would. You know, like, what?

And she'll be the first one to say in any conversation with anyone, like, my wife, my wife, my wife, my wife, my wife, my wife, and I, you know, my wife and kids, my wife, my wife. And I... I'm going to row her down as the dad. That was sexist, Corey. I said it, because it was funny. I'm very sorry. Why do you keep going into that voice?

This is not a thing you do. You don't. I'm for clipped. You are for clipped. I'm so for clipped. I'm like a schlameel. I am. I've had a schickle of.

wine here and I'm losing my mind. Yeah, but so, but so when you're, you know, you're driving you stuff at gas stations in rural, the rural south, because you're on your way somewhere, you just, you don't hold your wife's hand, you just don't, whatever. Yeah, like, even like my,

and I hate that this happens, but there will be times. I mean, even if we're maybe not in the, the rural part, rural, part of the state, you know, whenever, if she and I are saying, next to each other and both the kids say like you know i'm i'm mama and she's mommy and so when they say that there's always that part of you when you i do like a quick scan of like who's around me right now who's hearing this because i am fearful of somebody saying something inappropriate in front of my children or um asking some sort of question i mean you know for the most part i don't feel

like we come in contact with it very often i feel very fortunate for that how old are they? The kids are four and a half. So they're not in kindergarten yet or whatever? Not yet. They're still in daycare. Do you think, do you wonder about like because I'll be honest, I've thought about this and again, I'm a straight white man and like we will probably be moving, but I have thought about

people like in my kids' classroom, like if they find out who I am, being like, you know, my mama said your daddy is an idiot or he's evil. Your dad's the devil or he's a He sucks, whatever. And, like, dude, I mean, yeah, it rolls right off my back, but they're little kids. hilarious. I'm just saying, I think about that shit sometimes, like, for me.

So I'm saying, like, do you worry about that? Is that stuff that you all? Absolutely. I do. I'm not sure. You know what everyone has to. Because kids are terrible, a lot of them. Well, they have no filter.

It's like, if their parents do say some shit like that to them, they probably will say it. Well, I mean, I think better from now until, you know, and I hope that obviously that, and I think it is getting to a place where it's not a thing. It's kids are sort of like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just curious about that. Like, do you, have you talked about moving at all? I hope you haven't all of the South, but I don't, that your fucking life, I don't know what it's like to be getting. But is that something?

Do you think it'd be different elsewhere or do you think you'd be worried about it no matter where you were? Good question. We have, you know, we've talked about it, but, you know, I love what I do, and I, I, I, I, I like where we are. This area is a great place to raise kids. Like, I would never, I don't want to take my kids to New York or L.A. Just because of the ways. The vapid hollow people there.

Well, yeah, I don't want to, I don't want to raise my, there's a whole other problems. Like, I would rather have to explain. School zones are a nightmare in Southern California, for example. I mean, I'd rather have to explain to my kids about, you know, why somebody said that about our family versus, like, my kids being introduced to, oh, I don't know, cocaine in fourth grade, like, which I feel is, you know, a little scarier when it comes to L.A. or New York, but,

so you used to do cocaine with fourth graders. So this goes all the way back to fourth grade, we're finding out with my. I did not go to elementary school in L.A. Can I ask you this? Like, is there at least a little part of you that, because I don't know, I'm trying to put myself there with, and I can't, but I'm trying to put myself there. Is there a little part of you that doesn't want to move because then you're like, no, then y'all fucking win. Y'all wanted me to leave. You know, y'all don't make it easy for me here, and you make people like me retreat to the coast and shit like that.

But fuck you, I'm going to stay because I want to raise my goddamn kids here. Is there any part of that? I will be honest and say that honestly, I don't think like that when it comes to my kids. Right. They are my number one priority. Right. Chapel Hill, not Chickamauga. But, you know, even if it's like if it ultimately came down to moving to Europe or Canada

was the right thing to do because of who happened to become president or what have you in whatever time, that's what I would do for my family. This time, Donald Trump. This is the time. Drew has said this a lot and it's, I've never thought about it. It is very profound. Drew said it a lot in our Q&A. when we get asked.

Why is the South, you know, the way it is in a certain way? And after Drew curses them for talking shit about the South, he will then be like, because the truly good people sometimes leave, you know, they get sick of it. That is me. It's you, not Drew? That's the first time that's ever happened. That is true.

Well, because the band is honest, you know. He, what? Like, Trey, I don't think people. Right, yeah. Right. No, no, no. Unlike Trey, I don't take people's good hits. And same thing is from her home.

No, no, no. I was sitting here all the time be like, is Drew going to say anything? No, what I meant was it's the first time I've talked about it together a lot. But anyways, he always says, you know, it's because the good people, like you get fed up with it. And I totally understand that.

And then they leave and, and Tray always says, but it's, you know, some of them stay and I think a lot more of them are staying. A lot more of them are coming back. That was the vein that was, that my question was asked in, but I went off on a little insane tirade as I want to do of just like there's.

It's worth it for me to stay here now. because I do think that a lot of times, you know, particularly raising kids in the South in areas like this are great for my kids versus something like New York or L.A. or something. You know, it's like, it's, it's, it's, you still get the benefits of a city without, I can still have, like, the kids in our neighborhood can run to their next door or their, you know, go play and not have to have their parents, like, follow them. Like, it's still like, there's still an innocence to childhood here.

that is so important. Andy and I have genuinely used that as an excuse to put off that next chapter of our lives. We live at least half the time in New York right now because of our careers. Dude. We have used the... Not here.

Dude, I... Every time I go there... I don't even know how anybody does it. You know how I mean. Like, we want to have them in the South. Every time I go to New York, because I already have kids and I had kids for the first time I ever went there, but I go there somewhat frequently now.

And every time I'm there, I'm always like... It would be a nightmare to have children. I am in awe of every parent that I see in New York. I ran into a friend of mine from high school on the street of New York. He's living there. He has one kid and his wife is pregnant with twins. And I was just like. And his eyes were just hollowing.

That's what's going on. Mary? I think I remember you. You're from a movie that I call college that I watch from time to time when I drink red wine in the bathroom. I mean, he was handling it like a champ. You know, he's like, I'm excited and scared. I'm like those are the right feelings to have around twins. I can't even imagine in that city.

I can't imagine. A double stroller fits nowhere in New York. Because mine are almost Irish twins. Like we always had double strollers too. That kind of stuff. Like, what do you even do? What do you do? For those of you listening in Oregon, Irish twins is when you have kids so closely apart that people think that they're twins.

It's less than a calendar year apart while not being twins. Mine are 13 months apart, so we just missed the cutoff of Irish twins. Unfortunately. I would phrase Irish twins if we weren't of white trash descendants. Would be offensive? Would be offensive or racist? Yeah, but whatever. No, no, but I just, of course.

Irish people are white so you could find. No, no, no, I'm not saying it's wrong. I just realized that that. Tray might be in trouble me and you were fine. I mean, well, Tray might be in trouble me and you were fine. We're very clear. I wish some Irish people would come after me for saying Irish twins. I just, as we were talking about that.

No, they don't give a fuck. I just realized that that was. That was like a phrase. own at them like yeah you know the irish they just keep fucking they just don't stop fucking yeah baby i think they're catholic irish catholics have a lot of sex or a lot of ladies i'm gonna let you ask a question but i want to say and uh this is one of my roles at the well-read uh enterprises uh no it's uh yeah we got wrap up soon well we are over an hour i wanted to yeah we do we do maybe a little bit about Corey asked his question because you know how he gets when you cut

him off cori what time is it over there A good clock. It's 6.6. How are you doing? Honestly, I didn't have a question. I was just wanting to hear myself talk, so please go on. Sure, that's correct. As long as y'all give me a ride to the show, I'm good.

We're good. We're going to give you a ride. Okay, yeah. But we got my mom and sister to go on. I mean, well, we will drive. But I'm saying, you know, but it's, you know where it's at? No. It's like right there.

It's so close. Like, we'll take us. I know my mom and sister to go on. We did want to get into what you do. and how we met you working with figure eight, which is a phenomenal company in my experience. It's the best company in the whole world. I wish Corey's grandma would shut the fuck up.

Lord. But we, that was our first foray into any kind of TV people. Well, not entirely, but almost. Well, we did need, should we say their name? Well, I knew some NBC people from that writer's workshop thing, and they were cool, too. What's a big deal. Sorry, I forgot about NBC.

And then there was a CMT thing. Well, actually, no. Practical Jokers. Right. Yes, I don't know if we're allowed to say that or not. Oh, fuck. I'm. We did a shit.

Yeah, we did a, yeah, with another production company a while back, and they were fine, too. Yeah, they were great. You guys were the first ones. They're not going to sue us because we have good things to say. You guys were the first ones that we, like, really worked in depth with, and we talk a lot about how much we love you all. One of the reasons we like you guys so much from the beginning was because it's, a southern-based company and everybody we talked to

seemed to really get it. I mean, I remember talking to you very early on and I was... Well, even Kurt, who's from Iowa? Is that right? And it was like... He gets it. Whatever he gets it. You guys were all just like, hey, we're all liberals and we're in the South, we love it, whatever, and I knew that you meant that. I was like, Mary is a lesbian mom

in North Carolina. I know she knows. You love it. You love the state that just passed the HB2 bill. I think that confounds and confuses. We meet it. who are fans of ours, who were confused by our love for the South. They actually act like we don't.

They're like, oh, we heard your jokes and you guys hate it too. And we're like, what? But if you're from here, you get it. You know, you were saying, like, this is a great place to raise children. And there are a lot of people don't understand the awesome parts about it, you know. But if you're from the South, you do, depending on where you're from. And it is, it's a whole, it's a balancing act. You know what I mean?

Because, yeah, there's parts about it. Better shame. If you don't hate parts of New York City when you live there, you ain't fucking paying attention. Or you're super rich. And if you're super rich, you can live anywhere. You can live anywhere, yes. But we have already went off track again.

Well, I wanted to ask her about, because I think it's interesting to me, getting into reality television, producing and making reality television. What, you told us to ask you questions. She told us to ask her questions, not that they go, but I want to be like, just go. Well, no, no. How did you? And I know it's kind of a family thing. for you, but just, yeah, elaborate on the...

How did you get into that? I was working in advertising after the circus. Did I actually get a job. Circus wasn't hiring the ears, guys. It was tough. It was tough. The circus wasn't working out, so I went into marketing. So it was working and advertising.

We've all given up our heart. Loved the production side of that. I loved doing commercials and all that. Obviously, it fit with my background of acting, and just all the pieces were sort of coming together, but, you know, that commercials are going away. There's not a lot of production. And, you know, my mom, who is one of the owners of Figure 8 films,

Ascent. Saint Angel of a woman. She is amazing. She has fed me food from her plate on her fork. In my mouth, pieces of steak. I want to tell a story. It was so good. But she asked me one day.

She knew I was sort of looking around and wanted to switch agencies and asked me if I would ever consider coming to work for them. Did you know what that entailed? She says that. What are you thinking immediately? I honestly, I mean, I knew what they did. I was, well, it was like this will either be the best decision I ever make or the worst decision I ever make. or the worst decision I ever made. I think about that in terms of like doing stuff with my dad now.

Now that, you know, because of trail, we got some money. And I'm like, yeah, we should buy land together. And I'm like, this will be the coolest thing ever. And I'll cry all the time about how beautiful it is. Or we will fight every 30 seconds. Yeah. I actually can speak on that. I worked with my family.

We opened up a bakery together. And yeah, there was that whole like, oh, my God. You know, I've been doing comedy on the road. And I didn't really see my parents much. And we're all going to be together and everything's going to be great. And Lord, that can go. in the complete opposite direction very quick. So you were definitely smart in being hesitant.

Yeah, I mean, it took me a while to figure whether I was going to accept or not. Obviously, I accepted, and it has been one of the best decisions I've ever made. I mean, I love working with my mom and I love working with figure eight. I mean, I do think that it's cliche to say, but we are very family-oriented and we... We can attest to that. Yeah. You know, I just, we watch out for each other and we care about each other. And I don't know that that's necessarily typical in a production company,

especially in New York or L.A. I mean, we don't. Vapid, hollow people. We don't live in a place where you can literally shout out the window and find 30 more of somebody you just yelled at fire. You got to treat people well. Yeah, we treat people while. We try to nurture them. Shout out to one of your contractors who we love from Mexico.

Shout out to a G. That's my dude. Bart? You've got to treat people like Bart. Well, when you're in a region like this, you're saying you have to maintain a certain, I guess class is probably the word, because in New York, you can be a dick and then replace them. Yeah. And I think that, you know, we take that seriously. We try to, we try to grow people from sort of like interns up. There are a lot of people who started at our company and then left to go to New York or L.A. because they wanted to be in the big time. a couple years later we get that call like hey these people son we need anybody like

so how long have you how long have you been doing it I have been with figure 8 for over seven years so what is your primary role there what do you do? My title is VP of production and development Corey's title is chief hit an officer yeah he is the show

Very similar things that we do are for. So I won't say you certainly didn't fall into it because you had a background that lined up with it, but you didn't seek out reality television. So I have a question for you that I'm curious about. And if you have no opinion, that's fine. Reality television has taken over in a lot of ways, at least in terms of the daytime. Is that, people blame a lot on it. Comics, it's like a hat thing.

It's like, oh, reality television, they want to make fun of it. people like reality television skewing people's perception. Is it a symptom or a cause in terms of, I mean, do you have any opinion on that? It's being trash TV. And I'm not saying that it is or it isn't. I'm not at all casting this person on what I want to know is, whatever it is, does it reflect society? Or is it like a drug or alcohol or something like that? Like, you know, yeah, it's fine once a week, but just don't get too into it.

I mean, it's probably a little bit of both. Okay. It's a guilty pleasure of mine. See, that's what I'm saying. It's a guilty pleasure for those. Because I don't want to seem like I was judging it because I think, you know, in a lot of ways, it allows us to. What? Real world.

MTV, real world. It was brilliant. It was brilliant. Because in a lot of ways, it allows you to, you know, scripted is one thing because it's, you know, ideal situations or things that are set up. But this is like, you can find. people that you either relate to or make you feel better about yourself. That's the part why people shit on it is a lot of people think it becomes this echo chamber where you go, well, as long as I'm not them, I'm doing fine.

A lot of it, I think people think, and I think some of it is exploitative. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like you're saying, I'm making you feel better about yourself. I mean, I think it's objective that at least some reality. There's a whole lot of reality. It depends on this show for sure. Well, yeah, right.

Yeah, absolutely. You know. But I was asking that question so poorly, I guess what I should have asked and what I meant was, is it exploitive or is it just how society is? Is it what we want?

And I think... It's clearly what we want. I mean, that's under- Yeah, I mean, I think it can be both. Yeah, I think so. And I also think it depends on the shows. I mean, I think... For sure.

For us and what we do, we try very hard to tell real stories and have them be, organic to what is going on. You know, we handle a lot of families and stuff like that, and it's, you know, we don't try to put them in situations that they wouldn't

normally be in or two. That's why you guys are successful. Maybe. But, you know, we don't try to, I guess. I think there's a problem. Yeah, I think the show at one started seven. We have to go. What a hilarious way to join us about. Thank you guys

so much. Thank you so much. We appreciate it. Sorry. Speaking of reality, hilarious. Guys, we have to leave. Oh, my God. Okay, so that's obviously a very raven way for us to end the podcast. That's what happens when you're three morons who forget to check the itinerary

and think you're doing a podcast two hours before the show, but turns out it's only an hour before the show. We promise that will not happen again. And apologies to Mary for our conversation having to come to an abrupt halt. But I assure you, we will be catching up. up with Mary in the future because like we said she's just one of our favorite people in the world so hope you enjoyed the conversation hope you enjoyed the podcast if so you know keep subscribing downloading tell your friends because we really do enjoy doing this it's been a lot of fun

so again well read comedy dot com for tickets to the shows and to buy the book and all that good stuff thank you guys for keeping us afloat and letting us live this this little dummy dumb dream of ours we really appreciate you see you next time and as always skee Well, well