wellRED podcast - #405 - Comfortable Shoes & The Fake Cat Eatin BS!

Episode Date: September 11, 2024

Hey y'all! This week the boys talk about Drew turning 40, their need for comfort in their middle age, and of course, all the BS the republicans are making up about people eating cats! Go To TraeCrowder.com to see Trae Live! WeLoveCorey.com for bonus stuff from The CHO Go to DrewMorganComedy.com and also check out Drew's new Don't Tell Special! Check out Corey's latest for the Atlanta Constitution here: https://www.ajc.com/opinion/lets-talk-about-mental-illness-not-guns-never-guns/KY3WTEPJ7FDWZAPTZ2ZBNYUGFU/ Our Sponsor this week was Factor and they are awesome! Go to FactorMeals.com/WellRED50 and use the code WellRED50 to get 50% off your first box!

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your next month while your subscription is active. All right. Here we are. Here we are. Drew, first off, let me say that hat is fire. And secondly, let me be the first to commend you in person,

as much as in person as this is, on having just an absolute fucking heater of a birthday week. Because I've been living vicariously through you. It seems like every single thing from every day of your celebrations has been better than the last. And, oh, the old hill. You know what I mean?

But you're doing it in fucking style, brother. Yeah, I'm 40. Have we not talked since I turned 40? Is that true? I don't think so. No, I mean, we've texted every day, every minute of every day for eight years, but in person, no. And again, over the internet.

Now, hadn't he just turned four? Maybe he hadn't yet when we recorded last week. I don't know. Look, I don't remember stuff. Anyway, you said now that he's over that there hill, you over the hill? You remember that? Over the hill.

Is that still a thing? That was a thing. It was all the cards. Is it 40 or is it? I don't know when it is. But at some point, I remember when we were kids, it was 40, which made so much sense to me. But they do it again at 50. And it's like, it's one of those things where like I keep pushing the goalposts.

Because like, we were kids, I remember when my mom and dad turned 40 and it was like, oh, they're over the hill. And it's like now thinking about that, I'm like, God damn, they were pups. You know what I mean? I guess it is appropriate because it's like, you know, the first part of getting over a hill, that part's hard, you know. Right. And then once you get on the top of the hill, then you get over the hill, the next part should hit.

It should be not hard. But it don't. It's like you struggle early in like maybe if you're successful. But there's two hills, you know what I mean? Right. But your body falls apart. You're talking about falling, you're talking about hitting the ground. I'm saying going down the hill once you peak should hit.

Right. And I think it does until you crash. Yeah. I think that your 40s hit, and then when you start approaching 50, you start going up another hill. You know what I mean? Like 40 is like, to me, it's like, oh, man, fuck, you're so worried about it. But then once you get there, you're like, especially Drew, because Drew's in good shape, he looks good. You know what I mean?

Like, he's not what? When people was 40 when we was kids, they did not look as good as Drew. You know what I mean? Like 40-year-olds used to be like, God damn, look at this haggard some bitch. But, like, Drew is like, in his 40s. What's that? did they to each other? Maybe. I don't know.

I don't think so, right? I don't think so either because nobody, like, old people really have a hard time with it. Like, me and Brian were talking about the other day. Like, somebody got sick or, hell, they may have been talking about me having face cancer. And his dad was like, your friends are too young to have cancer. And he goes, nah, I guess they're not. Yeah, right? No, we're not.

We're off the way. Dude, we're all at the exact right age to have, honestly, anything. Anything could happen. And it's not anything. Yeah. Gout. Dude, I've had Gout now, by the way, for like almost a decade. Is it?

Yeah, is it like alcoholism? Like, does it not overgo away? You just have to. Yeah. You just have to deal with it. Yeah. But, you know, I've only had no shit. I had that first flare up when we found out, oh, my God, this fucking idiot, this 29-year-old has fucking gout.

And you could see it. It's so big you could see it through my cowboy boots. You know, but so that was, I had that flare up and my doctor was like, hey, so here's a list of things. And I was like, that's my menu. And he was like, these are things you can't do. And I was like, well, fuck that. And I decided, I know I told you all I made my own medical, I did my own research and I made my own medical decision. If I was like, well, I'm not stopping drinking alcohol.

I'm just going to stop drinking IPAs. I'll just start drinking Miller Light again. It worked. I didn't, I literally had that flare up. and then it tingled one time a couple years ago, got away from it. A couple months ago, I had another flare up,

but I was like, you know what, man, if it's once every eight years, if it's just once every eight years I can't walk, but I get to hit, fuck it. I can do that. You know what I mean?

It's like a Trump presidency. Yeah. I'm curious, is there a test for it? The doctor looked at it, and then, yeah, they check your uric acid levels. Like, I went and,

yeah, because that's what it's all about is uric acid. And that was my thinking, was like alcohol has uric acid, so I was like, a high potent alcohol has more. And Miller Lite, which is basically water, probably has less. And I don't know if that's true, but I'm anecdotally, it fucking worked for me. Well, I was going to say that it's funny the thing that you didn't have gout, that you just, like, had a swole foot, and your doctor was like, probably gout.

Gout, no, it was, he was gout. But there's a uric test. It's even funnier that your body, apparently, was like. Rejected it. You know what? No. Miller Light. Yeah.

That's good enough. This is the best we're going to get. Good enough. Yeah. Everybody, listen up. Like when an orphan graduate middle school. If you guys realize if we don't stop fucking up with his foot, he'll just go back to IPAs. This is what we have.

We can't negotiate with terrorists. If we make it where he can't walk, he's going to get even fatter, much, much fatter. Your body was the American people. Miller Light was Kamala Harris, where it was like, all right, I guess. I guess. I guess. Okay, I guess. My fucking liver just shoveling coal the whole fucking time. Oh, God damn. Joe, you doing a green thing?

You know what? It's funny you say, I have just right now, you know how you'd be like, you'll do a wash and you'll put your shirts back and you just get in this like rotation? I kind of, not on purpose, but like, hell, maybe even Amber did it. She put all my shirts in my closet. And I had like five green shirts in a row. and they're all right in the middle. And every day I've just grabbed it. And so when I grab the green shirt,

I'm like, well, I've got to have a green hat to match. And I've got like seven green hats. So I was like, I guess I'm doing a green thing. And people always tell me that it makes my eyes look nice. And I appreciate that. What he meant to say was, yes. It's funny. Right.

People tell me that green makes my eyes hit too. So I got a green shirt and started wearing it. And then people started rusting the shit out of me from wearing the green shirt too much. And what I've done is I have one shirt. I have different green shirts. What is wrong with that? There's nothing wrong. with it, but you're in the public eye, buddy.

But we're going to notice. But you're in the public eye, buddy. If it was actually something wrong with it, people wouldn't have made fun of you. It's those things where it's like, here's the thing that I don't have to feel bad for, but I'm definitely able to make fun of him and everyone on that. Yeah, like, if you were still working at the DOE and you wore the same shirt every Wednesday, people wouldn't even fucking notice. But when you wear the same shirt to every show and you're in pictures and they're on Twitter,

I mean, look, I think I commend you for it, by the way. You were a very, as much as you've hit, you've always remained. humble, you were a man of plain taste, which is the nicest way to say you're a piece of trash. Don't know what it is. Yeah. Don't know what it's. I have no idea.

But like, it's like, for most people would be like, yeah, look at that. That's nice. He only, he you wash it and then you wear it again. But like, yeah, I just have a bunch of different green shirts. But that's because I'm a fucking woman and I love to shop. I want to say that I think Trey looks great in like jeans and a collar. I think he does.

It is funny how once you find on that work. Like, I get it. And also, you did have multiple black shirts, but for a while, only if I paid attention

did I know you were changing them. Right. So, like, there's like an almost autistic level of like, same hits, different don't hit. You know,

for some reason, if it's black, it don't count for some reason. Right. I think that's fair. I think you do great with that. I think when you try to go beyond that, yeah.

It is to me quite funny because it's like he really, and I don't know how to wear a suit either, but like, that's why I was just do a regular-ass thing or whatever. Yeah. But like, it's just like,

like, you'll just be wearing a vest sometimes and I'll be like, it's working. It is working. Yeah, no, dude, Trayette is very like, close drape on him very well. He's like a,

like a dipship mannequin. Yeah, I just like, the simplicity of, you know, these are my show shirts or whatever. I got it. And I did the same thing with T-shirts, too, It's just I'm around the house and people don't notice and I make videos from here up so you know, you can't tell. But like, but then I just have a shitload of these other shirts, T-shirts and button-up shirts that I just don't ever touch, you know.

I got rid of a lot of them though. I did too when we moved and I still have. Well, you keep getting garbage bags worth of clothes that I never wore and I still have a shitload that I just don't ever touch. I bought this on my birthday. He left it in Brian's car when saw a band incredible. left it in Brown's car Go-Gold Bordello That's the band

Yes Start wearing purple Wearing purple Start wearing purple for me now By the way They had one And they had one They had one that said

I promise It's just They had one that So when we start We start wearing purple I got to like It's a gypsy party show It's a gypsy party band

It's a nice They had one that said They hit really hard Yeah And I didn't buy it because I was on mushrooms and I thought, somebody's going to say something to me and I'm going to punch him. Anyway, and they are Roma.

For anyone out there who wants to say something, they put that on their own shirt and tried to sell it to me, knowing I'm a white man. All I was going to say was I left this in Brian's car, forgot it existed, and then he gave it back to me when we went to the UT game, Govalls, and I will watch this, put it in a drawer, and probably never wear it again because...

Yellow is your color, though. I have become... That might redeem it. I have very much become like Trey to some extent. Maybe you're just an old soul. There's like seven shirts I rotate with collars, and then there's like five shirts I rotate without them. I think a difference between me and you,

I'm aware of it, but I still have that thing with, I guess fashion and marketing. There's just times where I'll be, this was probably one of them, where some part of my brain's like, you know what, that'll probably turn it around, man.

That really, that really fixed me if I took that off. I think that's so I'll see a new hat and I'm like, this is your look. This is what you're doing from now on. Now that you're, now that you're 40, I want to ask that,

do you all think there's any age anymore, especially like thinking generationally, like millennials are the ones who are pushing into our 40s now? Do you think there's any age where like graphic teas, t-shirts with stuff on them. I don't mean like the man, the legend,

it points at your dick. Like, not that kind of. Obviously, those are timeless and never know. That's about to say, bro, what the fuck are you going with this? Band teas and things like that. Do you think you get too old for that type of thing where it's like,

you know, other than if you're mowing the yard or something? As long as it's not, like Chapel Rhone blow me, blew me away at Bonneroo. You couldn't pay me away. Yes. Okay. You couldn't pay me to wear one of her shirts and front of people.

I think I'm not buying them. I don't think I'm going to be in them. I don't think I'm going to be in shirts. I guess so, but that was completely unconscious. Just what I said makes sense. Whatever the right word is. I didn't think that. I just saw this and was like, I want that shirt.

And I saw her merch and no part of me was like, I should get that. I feel like over the past couple years, like, as I said, I said. That might be because she's for, sorry. Well, no, it's fine. I was just saying, I don't think I'm done wearing them, but I do think I'm done buying them. Like, all the ones that I have, I'll keep wearing them. But, like, also, now that I was just thinking about it, the only band shirts that I've worn in the past eight years were, like, friends of ours who do the podcast or, like, we're just buddies with because we had the same merch people. And I'm like, well, I'm always going to do that. Like, I'll always wear my shovels and rope shirt that Carrie Ann sent me, you know, and people that I love that I want to support. But, like, yeah, probably not going to buy a new Nirvana shirt ever again in my life.

You can get one at Target. What about shorts? Drew, you mentioned to me recently. I said something about, we were in Virginia Beach, and I was like, I can't remember what I asked. It was something about, do you have an extra pair of shorts for the beat or something like that? And you kind of like scoffed and you were like, no, it was sandals. That's what it was, not shorts, sandals, right? I'll never part with my sandals.

You were like, you were like, dude, I'm almost 40. It's like, you ain't going to see my bare feet. You know what I'm like? These guys, this is great for old. I don't do slides. If I did slides, I'd do them with socks. I do them with socks. I do rock shorts.

I realized, too, I would wear this on stage, not like on the Saturday show and never on tape. Because you think people would be like always trying to be cool or something? Maybe. I don't, I feel like I'm not thinking a lot of this through, but it is how I feel.

I had to talk the other day. I almost made a video. I think that 40 is too old for Jordans. I think it looks silly. I haven't ordered since I had my kid. I think it looks silly, but almost in the reverse way, I think it looks like dad's shoes.

I think it's like... It's like you're trying to recapture. But it's like those are dads, I don't know, man. That's where I... That's like my growing up is like, you know, you're talking about simplifying your wardrobe or whatever, like,

I haven't worn a shoe with laces since I was 13. I have a great collection of shoes that I love. I love these shoes. What about Jordans? Do what? What about your Jordans? That's what I'm saying.

Like, I just look at them. I don't wear, they're not. I'm 37. Okay. I feel like I've seen you in Jordan. I'll be 37. Bro, I only wore him doing shows, and like, I kind of unofficially retired and just stopped doing shows.

And like, so when I'm at the house, like, I'm not going to go lace up to go to the store. I'm gonna throw on my slides or my fucking little boat shoes. You know what I mean? Like, it's all comfort now. Like, I can't see myself. It's all comfort. Like, I think millennials are different, though, to circle back to band t-shirts, T-Shirt, T-Shirt.

I think that this just looks old. I think you know it's fine. I don't, you know what I mean? And like, and weirdly, we could, I don't. But we could go back to our old fashion and then look like we're trying to, to fit in with the kids. Right, and it's ours. And maybe I'm stupid, but I think we could get away with that.

I think that if you started wearing baggy jeans, I don't think anybody would be like, you're trying to look like one of these 18-year-olds. They wear baggy jeans now? Yeah, they're back. I'm so good. And you know how a girl just dressed like brat dolls? Yeah, that's back.

Well, see, I just started in the past couple years, too. I gave up. I never wore, like, what are truly skinny, skinny jeans. It's just like anything you put on my ass will look like a skinny gene, but they were like the carrot cut. I'm way back to boot-cutting regular now. Way back. I need more room in the groin.

My balls need to swing low. I don't give a fuck if I don't look, you know, fit, fitted. Don't give a shit. Like, just give me something that's comfortable, elastic at best, you know. But also, dude, like, I got a bucket hat right here. I'm always dressed like a clown and not really giving a fuck. But, like, I did used to care. Do what?

Let's see the bucket hat. This one right here. It's like the new. Hey, don't the mouth. I got a Duke dreamer's disease. Put it on. Oh, yeah. What's the new radicals?

Is that who that is? Yeah, that guy went on to be a producer. Yeah, I just, did we talk about that? I think so. We talked about it in a text thread. Oh, okay, so we didn't talk about it on the podcast. Oh, yeah, dude, that, it, you look real goofy with that up again. I know why you're doing that.

I don't have a choice. I don't have, in fact, look like you're trying to have specs. I look like Moby right now. 19-year-olds. Yeah, that new radical song or whatever, something reminded me of it recently, some 90s nostalgia thread on Reddit or something. It's like, wonder whatever happened with them. I assume nothing.

They made that one album. Went and looked them up. And yeah, the front man for that is like a super producer who's been hugely successful for like 20-something years. That was his only foray into his own thing. He didn't want to do it anymore. But he hits real hard otherwise. He claims like that he meant all that shit he said,

that everybody's a sellout and everyone sucks. And that he was like, I realized I couldn't like, I'm paraphrasing him, I'm sure misremembering some version of it. Basically, like, selling out was the only way to make it. And I figure if I'm going to do that, I'm not putting my face on the fucking cover. I'll just produce for all these other sellouts, which is, it's like real convenient, you know what I mean?

Yeah, but at least self-aware. Like, I know the deal. It's selling out, but I'm going to hide. How would you feel if your producer was called basically saying you're a sellout? Do you know what I mean? Like, what are we making millions of dollars? I wouldn't even hear it.

That's fair. So before Larry David put himself in the Larry David show, if he was like, I just realized everyone in comedy was fake. Yeah. Instead of quitting, I decided I could easily make millions by getting someone else to be fake. It would be funny to come from him,

actually. Yeah, yeah. I feel like there's, I feel like I've heard, I mean, not really high profile ones, but I've heard stand-ups over the years,

spouse a similar mentality, the ones who like had families and got into like sitcom writing rooms and stuff and roved with that. I don't know. They're very diplomatic about the shows their own. They're never going to say like this CBS original was garbage, but hey, it paid the bills. So, but.

Yeah, but they call writing for sitcoms a version of selling out. He was also calling his contours. It would be like them doing that, but also saying in all the other standups, it would be like, okay, this would be if I got,

and I'm not even trying, but if I got staff right now, and I quit stand-up, and I was like, yeah, I just realized the only way to make it in stand-up is to sell out like Tom Seguer and Burke Kreischer did. And I have too much pride for that. So I decided to become a writer, which is a different version of selling out or whatever.

Like, he also shit on musicians. Right, right. Because he should have been like, and also I didn't want to do it. Like, you know what I mean? Like, there's a difference in... I'm bright misquoting. And we're going to go find out.

Well, who fucking knows, but I'm saying, I'm sure that it was just like, dude, they had the number one song in the country for like probably 12 weeks in a row and they were touring that album and it was in the 90s and MTV was hot as fuck. I bet you he was worn the fuck out and was like, I would love to game the system but not have to do as much on the road stuff. I was going to say, I think in comedy terms, you know, sometimes I think that the guys that end up being like writer producers, especially like, you know, hitting ones or whatever. I mean, that's kind of the equivalent thing here, like standups who they're. end up being writer, showrunner, showrunner, creator types that I bet almost none of them regret it. I bet some of them just as the way grand up works and the way egos are. I bet there's

probably some of them that have this thing in them where they're like, I could still be doing it. I could have hit it that. I could have done that. But I bet mostly they're like, I made the right choice in this hits harder. Especially if you have a family. You know what I mean? Especially if you have a family because like now that, you know, Drew's turn 40, me and him both have a kid now you've been in that space for a long time but like dude my ego has been out of control before where I was like no no no I've got to be front and center this blah blah blah on the road doing all this getting out of it and and now that like baines here I'm like I just want the fucking check to clear and to do what I love you know what I mean like I still want to be whatever I'm doing I want

to be the best version of that and I will try as hard as I can at that but like it no longer has to be like, give me a five-minute standing ovation for this bit that I wrote. Like, I, that hits. And I have a show this Friday in Center Alabama. Please come see me. I love doing stand-up. But, like, once you're fucking, once you have a family, your ego kind of goes, all right, buddy, well, we had, you still have to do it because you have to provide.

But, like, we had our time to be number one. And now you're not number one. You're number two, but you're taking care of this thing. You know what I mean? Which is, like, kind of freeing, frankly. Yeah. But the other, but the thing, though, is, like, as far as I'm not, you know, is like, as far as all that goes. There's still some out there, but there's like very quickly disappearing

numbers of jobs and show business where you can like be home any regardless of what you do. Because almost nothing is made in Los Angeles anymore. So you know what I mean? So like people living out there. It's like even if like arguably I'm at home more being a heavily touring comedian because I come home every week than if like I have had to go to Vancouver for four months to do this show or whatever. Right. And then do that one other time a year. And that's fucking, you know, all, you know, eight months out of the year or whatever.

So it's like, it's just part and parcel of the whole thing. Well, my thought process on that is like, if I was in one place for four months, I'd have my family out. You know what I mean? Yeah. And like, I mean, you, you can do that. You can say that now. But I know. I've got middle schoolers.

Like, they can't. I don't know unless it's the summertime I can't pull them out of fucking school they won't want to do it you know it's not an option once the kids get older so no you're right no I feel you I feel you I'm just saying like to me yeah you're right I mean Bain's young it's easy for me to say that right now but like to me it was just all the like going going going and like all the fucking jumping around and like I just like having a base you know what I mean like I just found like and maybe it's not even just being a dad it's like my mental health or whatever like I've really do, I found out that I do really good with a fucking routine, which you get zero of when you're on the road. It don't, you don't, you don't get any. Even if it's like, well, you do stand up every week. How do you not get into routines? Because, well, the planes don't take off at the same fucking time.

And sometimes they don't take off at all. And sometimes they let you in it for. And sometimes they let you in it too. What the fuck are you talking about? You know what I mean? Sometimes they don't land where they're supposed to. Which reminds us to everyone, happy 9-11. Oh, happy 9-11, everybody.

That's right. Oh, fuck. That's not. That was a wrong one. I mean, we're already being pretty irreverent, you know, before that. Didn't need to, you know, hammer it home. So it's all right. Yeah, it's 9-11.

It's 9-11 when this comes on. We almost forgot it. We forgot for 24 fucking minutes. Well, it's 9-11's Eve when we're recording this. That's true. I'm not 9-11. What? One other thing on the producers stuff and comedy and all that,

because I, Joe threaded a video recently of the producer who produced that, you know, walking my way downtown. That do, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. What is that? Vanessa Carlton. Vanessa Carlton. Which one of us was right? It was the one that dated Joey Harrington.

It was Vanessa Carlton. Okay. Vanessa Carlton. Anyway, the guy that produced 20-year-olds don't understand. Right. The guy that produced that in a IG reel. like reliving it in his head while the song plays and he walks through it

and I loved it. I thought it was so ragged. But but the dude in it, he was like, when it gets to a certain part, he's like, he's just, he is feeling that shit. And it's like, it's his shit, right? Like he's like, he's basically going to be like, God damn, how

fucking flies that? How fire is that? It's like, listen to that. How hard did I crush that? He's not literally saying these things, but that was his kind of is. Attitude. You know, he's like, tell me that ain't fire right there. It's like something he did. And it's all in what you don't say, not what you do's name, motherfucker.

And it hit for me real hard, but I just feel like that's another thing that, like, there's some people out there, but, like, in, like, the comedy world or whatever, even when you're talking about writers and producers who make funny stuff and actors, everybody, like, I feel like that mentality is largely missing for most of them. Like, you know what I mean? Like, you know, like, people are not, like, most funny people are not going to get, like, amped up about how hard they were crushing in a thing that they did. You know what I mean?

It's funny you say that. On my, on my hero hero at we lovecori.com, the post that I've already scheduled for Thursday is literally... How hard you hit it doing time? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I reread somebody, somebody like liked an essay of mine from two years ago,

so I got a notification. And I saw the notification. I was like, I don't even remember writing. And then I was like, wait, I think I remember this. And I read it. And usually what happens when, especially two years ago, because you know in entertainment, especially comedy, that's ancient. Like that comedy ages wildly and it could have, you know, I'm like, oftentimes I look back at my stuff and go,

I can understand why at the time I thought that crushed, it is fine. It's okay. It's fine. I know at the time I thought, but I read this thing and I was like, son, you was own yo Kang shit doing that. You were fucking ripping. And I fuck it. So I did like a re, I went and read it, did the context of like what was going on when I wrote it and I was sitting there just reading it hitting so fucking hard for myself. Like I'm in the pocket right now.

Yeah. No, I mean, you're right actually. I mean, hell, even I do that. You remember that one time on the road? Game of Thrones. You'd send the clips all the time. You'd be like, son, I fucking murdered right here. And we'd be like, yeah, you did.

That too, right. But then remember that time on the road? I told you all, because it's true that I, like, found an old feature script I wrote, the first script I ever read it like, it was like, I'm a dick, I'm going to die back in this, see just how bad it is. And I brought myself to,

To tears. Yeah. Like, 15 minutes later, I'm like wiping tears away. Like, god damn, this is fucking beautiful.

Dude, I was about to say, acting like we don't get high on our own supply. It's a pretty insane thing for you to say. No, you're right. But comedians definitely do do that. As I've said for a lot,

there's multiple days in a row where I hate myself, but for the most part, I'm also my biggest fan. You know what I mean? Because I would never put something out that I didn't take bang. And I wonder if musicians have that. That's definitely the dichotomy of like, Yeah, is it just like, is it entertainers, period or what?

But yeah, the whole like the whole the dichotomy of like, no, no, no, no. I do think that I'm great. I really do. I just also hate myself. And suck. Yeah, right. And no one's ever been worse. Like I'm the, no, I don't hit for anyone less than I hit for myself.

But I am also like confident in my ability. And it doesn't seem to make it. any sense, but to me it makes all the sense in the world. And I know there's a lot of people out there that feel exactly the same way. So I don't know. It's wild. But listen, let's talk about what you should do this fall. You should fuel up for the fall with factors, no prep, no mess meals. Meet your wellness goals for this fall thanks to a menu of chef crafted meals with options like calorie smart protein plus and keto. They've got 35 different meals and more than 60 add-ons to choose from every single week. So you always will have new flavors

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and we thank Factor for sponsoring the podcast. So, 9-11 group, that's what you want to talk about. Anyway, I wanted to hit one more selling point for Factor right after you said 9-11. Yeah. But just that, I need to mention it so people understand that, because I know we have a lot of listeners that have kids, if you think about it from that perspective, too,

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Anyways, terrorism. Yeah, Drew, 9-11. You were wanting to talk about it, I believe. And how much it don't hit. Don't hit. No, 9-11, don't hit. No, 9-11, don't hit. I think I was going to do a non-sequitur.

I honestly don't remember. I think I was going to say it goes, speaking of 9-11, I put a special out on Don't Tell Sure, let's go with that It would What's that experience? I wish Cheney had waited

To endorse Kamala Till 9-11 That would have been That'd been awesome That'd been pretty funny We could talk about that if you want I don't understand people Who are like

Yes It's like Who is this winning up Just shut up Like right right Like that's I do that's exactly how I feel And when you celebrate it

I think it makes you look Unprincipled the way we always accuse Republicans to be unprincipled. Honestly, I'm kind of thinking that a lot of people are unprincipled, or they have like three principles and those guides so many things that they're losing sight of

some other ones they claim to have, but it's like the most evil man alive, arguably, the one's certainly the most responsible. Now that Kissinger's dead, it's hard to point to an American. More openly, clearly responsible for the deaths of innocent

people who wasn't a president or a general and then you could argue well their job was like this dude sought it out not just and they're like hey look who and someone literally online was like uh big chaney rebranded and i'm like but that but literally that's literally what he's trying to do and y'all are letting him right that has been i don't want to say pissing me off because it's so flummoxing to me i don't even feel anger i'm just sort of looking at it i'm going like i believe you're a good person, but you don't sound like one right now. You sound like someone who's so insistent upon, not even winning the election, winning the thing that's going on in your mind.

Right. That you're like, oh, I got a real pump my fist, dopamine drip from this. I think it's awful. I know, man. I was thinking about it. It's like, it can't be good. No, I was thinking about it in terms of like all the people that, like, I understand where their brain is where they want to make it and use the argument of like this is how shitty

Trump is even fucking Dick Cheney realizes but I was like you know if Dick Cheney was voting for Trump I'd be like we'll see yeah duh like I don't know it's like evil attracts evil so like I want to go well there's there has to be some people that go god damn if Dick Cheney likes Kamala what is there about her that I don't know that hits for Halliburton I mean because I don't believe that, but like, not to, you know, not to give Dick Cheney any kind of benefit of the doubt, but I'm sure a lot of it I would think has to do with his daughter's whole deal with them. Like, even when I talked about, and when I talked about Liz Cheney, when all that was happening, I went out of my way in the video I made about that to talk about how much Liz Cheney does not hit,

right? She don't hit. You know, I went in a way. She's an arch conservative. She built in a lab and screw poor people and screw poor people in brown, brown countries. Is she the lesbian? Oh, I don't know. I think her sister is the lesbian.

Oh, my bad. There's two chains. I think, I could be wrong about that. I stand by what I said. Because the thing is, I think her sister, who is a lesbian, like, Liz, don't fuck with her. Right. Because she's a lesbian because she's hard-for-con. And even, like, Dick don't do that.

I don't think. I think he still has not disowned his gay daughter. It, whatever the fuck. The point is, it was like, you know, she don't hit at all. right she should hit really hard for these people right based on everything she's ever done and believes but they're calling her a rhino right and saying that she has no place in this party which is indicative of just how far gone the republican party as we knew it is and does mean something but i won't know part of glazing liz cheney or actually like liz cheney hits and that and

and i just feel like it's kind of especially considering considering Dick is like, is her dad. I feel like it's a very similar thing that's happened. Like I'm saying do you think if, I do not think that if all the shit with Liz Chaney hadn't gone down, that Dick Cheney would have said shit this week. I don't think.

Well, I just realized I was interpreting it that, I thought you're talking about his gay daughter. You're saying that he's just mad that they're saying his angel daughter, his sweet baby girl. Yeah, I think there's a personal like a real good daughter would. I think if the Liz Chaney shit

had never happened at all. I don't think Dick Cheney would be endorsing Kamala right now. I think it's like a personal vendetta type thing for their whole family. Here's what. I think that's a good point. The only thing I was trying to say is I don't see how it's morally good. I don't see how it's politically good though. Because what person out there is like, well, now that Dick endorsed her,

I guess I'll rethink some things. I mean, I'm sure. person, I don't think there's a single one. Let's say, though, in the however many hundreds of millions people we got in this country, there's 30. How many people, though, on the flip side of that? Huh? How many people are going to get a sound bite?

By the way, and these are soundbites I agree with, and I've held back on that, mostly because we don't talk about politics anymore, but also because I don't feel like arguing with anybody because I just don't care, but, like, internationally. Domestically, I can understand it. But internationally right now, the difference between the Democrats and Republicans is the Democrats are saying, and even gay people can murder. And that seems to be like, if you, so if you're if you're kind of feeling that and then you see Dick Cheney endorser, you're like, God damn, it really is like that, huh?

Yeah. It's bad. Like, I think. Did they put out in a, did they, did the campaign make a video or do some kind of thing where they announced like, hey, Dick Cheney is our, we have Dick Cheney is our, we have Dick Cheney. anybody put her on the spot and she said something about Americans being able to put aside their differences. Yeah. It's been, because I was going to say like, you can't, anybody can say anything, you know,

but I didn't know if they, like, they tried him out there. And they may have. To me, it's been like, there have been, like Bernie did it. Bernie, for instance, was like I applaud Dick Cheney for putting country before party. And I'm like, look, Dick, like you said, anybody can say anything? Dick Cheney, can we not just ignore it? Like, okay, be secretly happy. Be secretly happy that one more vote is going for not Trump.

But shut the fuck up. But not welcoming it. Don't, don't, yeah, don't put it out there and be like, look at this great thing Dick Cheney's doing. He's moving his hand one inch to the left and pushing down. That's all that fucker's doing.

Don't let him get away with his fucking 9-11 bullshit, Halliburton bullshit, making half of my buddies that I went to high school with mentally fucking ill because they had to see fucking babies get killed in the goddamn school. Oh, he's going one inch to the left. Thank you, Dick. Oh, you love your fucking carpet munching daughter. We love you, too.

Congrats, fucker. That's not even the one he's defending, apparently. Well, whatever. I was in the time. He's actually mad that they went after his perfect angel. I think all that's... Is his perfect angel, not the Lesbren? No, Liz, the prom...

It's because of Liz, Les. Liz, Liz, that's all this happened here. You're right. Les Cheney. You're right. Liz Cheney's not Les Cheney. Les Cheney is a different person, and they don't give a shit of him.

about her. But I thought he did. And that's what Trey was saying. This informed the whole thing. No. I thought that for a second. No, I meant lit. The politician one. She went through all that shit because she was on the January 6th committee and they like kicked her out. They ran her out on the rail. Republicans did.

And the whole thing and a lot of people on the left at that time. And still now acted like she hits. They'd like retweet her stuff and be like, get them Liz. Hell yeah, Liz. That time. Oh, it kills me. And then. And Then when that was happening, I was like, no, that ain't it. Like, I think it's insane.

Dude, it's your whole thing. What they are doing to her, considering how much of a hardcore murderous conservative she is. But because of that whole thing, I'm not going to fucking, you know, fucking prop her up or anything like that. But all I was saying to me was, I think if that had never happened, Dick wouldn't be doing this right. And I think there's a personal aspect to it for him with MAGA and his family specifically. You made this point one time. I'm on topic. Can I just say also fuck Rick Wilson.

I don't get the shit about the Lincoln Project. All that shit. I've been saying it for years. I've been making videos about it for years. I mean, I quit because I don't, but like, they're opportunist motherfuckers.

I don't care. Stop sharing their shit. We used to be in the comments. Trey used to make this point one time where it's like, these motherfuckers will celebrate with more fervor someone who used to be in the clan who ain't, then they will be just people who've always been kind of good. You know what I mean?

Like, they will be like, this guy used to be a clan member, and now he's not. Let's retweet him. He's fucking great. And then it's like regular people who have just not ever done anything that extreme. They're like, you're not that interesting. It was like Pat and Oswald's bit about like, he was talking about how like, you know, if you're like a fucking hopeless alcoholic, people talk about you all the time. If you're somebody that's completely sober, people talk about you all the time and they romanticize all this shit.

And he's like, what about me who has learned to stop after two scotches every night? Why the fuck don't people talk about me? And that's how I feel with all of this fucking shit. You know what I mean? Like with Rick Wilson, they're like, they want to jerk this guy off. And it's like, what? By the way, he still believes all that shit. He's still a Republican.

He's just not a MAGA guy. And by the way, Republicans don't want kids to have free lunch. The regular ones don't. The regular ones don't. You know what I mean? Yeah. Sorry. No, no.

But I do wish we were only dealing with that type. Yeah, right. You know what I mean, I've still, that part, you know, because I've said before, like, when you got to get into all this again? Because I know it's come up a few times and I always bitch about it. But if ever I mentioned something about how, like, how much I used to hate George W. Bush and how he's, while he still does not hit for me, I cannot believe how much lower the bar has gone. He's better than dick.

How much. Right. But way better than Trump, too, as far as I'm concerned. Yeah, yeah, for sure. But, like, people get pissed. When I say that, because they're like, fucking, what? You know, like he, like, you're really going to try to act like George W. Bush hits now, whatever? It's like, no, that's not.

I'm comparing them. Both things can be true. Yeah, right. It's like, no, he don't hit for me. He never hit for me. He still don't hit for me. What if a gun to my head, would I rather him be in the White House than Donald Trump? Yeah, I would.

And I think it's insane to suggest otherwise, of course, I would choose neither of them. Much like the Titans would take Tannahill back right now. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like. it's just you know it's like i don't think they hit it's just like they're objectively better yeah yeah not feeling great about quarterbacks right now but well listen he'll come into his own let me tell you something i know i'll i'll spend 30 seconds on this because we can't start talking

about football right now that fucking interception hit through it was it was a shitty interception but let me tell you something i love it all right because here's why it was a brett far of interception that he'll grow i like a kid if you're going to make him a step make the dumbest fucking mistake you've ever made, all right? We love Brett Farr for doing exactly that. If Will Levis can turn into somehow that where it's like he'll do that, but then, holy fuck, look at what he did, I'm fine with it. It's also about being dumb enough to not be bothered by making an incredibly dumb mistake.

Do you know what I'm being so dumb, you're just utterly unaffected by being very dumb. Brett Farr was dumb as fuck. Still it is. You used to, but he still is too. That's really Brett Favre's problem with this welfare scandal. is that he's thrown one of the worst interceptions of his life, but he's letting it get to him. He keeps letting it bother him.

It's like, Brett, just put it away. Well, he don't have another chance for a touchdown either. That's the thing. Used to, when he'd throw an interception, there was at least another down. He absolutely does. If Trump gets elected, it'll just get him to pardon him.

That's true. I think you can only pardon federal crimes. Is that true? I think only the governor gets in. I think only the governor could pardon what they got Brett with. But I haven't looked into Brett's case deeply. Maybe they are federal crimes. They'd have to be, right?

I mean, no. No, yeah, you're right. I mean, if it was just the state of Mississippi. It's a state program, but I do think it might have been federal money, so it probably is a federal crime. He'll be all right. He's saying. He keeps dwelling on a mistake. He should be helping Trump get elected.

Well, yeah. Do you see what he tweeted yesterday? No, I don't really do Twitter, and I certainly don't do Brett Farr of Twitter. Well, I mean, it just popped up on my shit because now Twitter, it doesn't, it doesn't matter who you. you follow it. Doesn't matter what they just go, this, you want this. And for some reason, it's Elon's like, we're tailoring this algorithm just for you. And I'm like, oh, yes, you're right. I certainly want all pro-Republican memes and Haitian racism. You got me pegged, man. God damn, you got me, buddy. Who's Haitian racism? Well, they said, you didn't see all that? They said that.

So, like, this, I'm not kidding, because I saw this kind of unfold in real time, because it was like on an Elon post about something. I think this girl, commented, she was like, hey, I live in the south side of Chicago or Minneapolis or something. I don't remember what the fuck it was. And she's like, I'm paraphrasing, but this is the gist of it. She's like, a couple weeks ago, our neighbors were like, we can't find our cat. And they were like, oh my God, we can't find the cat, you know, whatever. And she's like, and then they were walking home. So again, it's the classic, this didn't happen to me, but it happened

to someone I know. And they're like, they were walking home in the back with a guy. I know. Do what? not me but a guy I know him and her God get it on No they didn't Oh happy Gilmore too Pump for it anyway

I know that was Billy Madison But still Anyways she's like They lost their cat And then two weeks later They're walking home And in the backyard Of these new Haitian migrants

Of which I think they quoted They're now 20,000 Because of Kamala somehow And her power as Vice President these Haitian immigrants had this cat strung up as you would a deer to gut it and they were eating it, right? So this is, by the way, I am not saying that this could not fucking ever happen. All I'm saying is this is one anecdotal thing and it took off and now cat turd and fucking all of them are like, vote for Trump, save your cats.

And it's stormed off and like that woman's thing has like, her account has been debunked. or something like that. Like, this didn't fucking happen. And it's like, again, I'm not even saying that a Haitian couldn't possibly eat a cat. I don't fucking know what anybody's capable of. I peed in a super soaker and shot my sister in the face

with it. We're all crazy. I'll say this. The fresh off the boat ones, they do beat their kids by our standards. Right. I mean, that's something. If you call me racist, it's all you want. But I had them in there in my office

when I was a juvenile public defender beating their kids in front of me. Brum, multiple occasions, because it was the first time someone who spoke French explaining them what their kid was accused of, so the kid had been lying to him the whole time and they didn't know why they was in trouble. And when they found out in

front of me in my office, they would whoop John Luke's ass. They would whoop his ass. I don't know about cats. But I tell you, they'll whip their kid's ass. Other cultures are different. I don't know what they're doing. With a weapon, dog. The point is not whether or not Haitians in their culture eat cats or dogs.

The point is, is that the right took an anecdotal thing, made it gospel and it is now spread all over Twitter and now this the big J.D. Vance is even tweeting about it. Despite the fact that, so I believe it was Springfield, Ohio is where this originated.

And the Springfield police department, the actual cops put out an official statement or whatever saying, hey, this ain't true. This is not happening here. There's no confirmed cases of pets disappearing or being eaten.

This is completely made up as far as we're aware. and but that's just been completely ignored because they found their thing. They found their new branch on the migrant panic tree. So they're just going to keep going with, you know, your kitty cats eating up and whatnot. How we got here, I was trying to say what Brett Farve tweeted. And what he tweeted was, go ahead.

I just wanted to say, first of all, what a dumb time to be alive. Second of all, though, do you think, is that like when a joke goes, mega viral for her. Like, she made that up and look what's happened. Oh, yeah. Oh, are you kidding me?

Dude, she's flicking her being in that Tweety Bird shirt as we speak, brother. And who is she? Does she have these beliefs or is she like us without moral? She's like, I bet

they'll believe this. It might not even be. That's the thing. I don't like to go everything that I don't like is fake in a bottle or whatever, but like it might not, it literally might just be

some fucking dude that's working in tech, yeah, that's just like, I'm going to make this profile with this lady, I'm going to go ahead and get enough follow, and then I'll just use this lady's profile to just go randomly say something on a high profile person's thing that I know.

It's not that random. It's highly specific. This is the part that is just intriguing me to death. What a specific wild lie to make up. Right. Well, maybe she didn't. Look, like, it could Maybe she saw a black dude field dressing of rabbit. Right.

And just said that's a cat. At dusk. He's like, he ain't even Haitian. He's just black. It ain't even cat. It's just a rabbit. He bought it from some specialty.

Like, it could be something like that too. Right. We don't know what a dead skinless cat looks like. That lady would have tripled down. That lady would have been like, I'm telling you. Also,

she's on Facebook for the record, not Twitter. I heard it. I've seen it. I heard, you know, whatever, whatever, like.

Right, I know. Yeah. I'm saying I feel like it's definitely just a lie. Yeah. I can't decide if it's a lie of like, this will work and we need something to be mad about. I'm pro-Trump and let's go. Or dude, it's a game of telephone. Like a nihilist going.

Fuck it. Watch this. I bet I can get them to believe this. Yeah. Because they'll believe anything. Either way, I just, I really want to know what that lady's day is like. And it's possible that you're right, that she. isn't a liar as much as a dumbass.

That one's hard to believe because I don't think she would have gone quietly into the night. Well, I don't know that she did. I don't know anything about what she's been saying. I saw the comment and was like, this is about to be a thing. And I saw somebody posted it and it hadn't gone like, their thing hadn't gone by all. I was like, oh, God, Jesus Christ. And like, let's not Haitian racism as in racist things Haitians are doing, which is what I thought you meant.

And I'm so pumped to hear what it was. Uh, no, being racist against Haitians. Racist against Haitians. We got, dude, that's the thing, man. This goddamn country was so good back when it was just blacks and Mexicans. You know what I mean? And now they've got to branch out. They've got all their fucking...

It still is. And so there's a lot of people who would agree with you who you would not want them to agree with you. I know, but listen, I mean, excuse me. Let me rephrase. This country was a lot better when my uncle and his people only knew about blacks and Mexicans. Yeah. Because, you know, they got all their licks out on that. you know, whatever, it sucked.

But now, like, dude, they're like, there's too many things for them to be racist against. They're having a fucking field day. They can just make shit up now, and everyone will fucking believe them because they're like, God damn, I didn't know, but I didn't even know that country until you said that country. And now I know that they string cats up and fucking eat them. Anyways, the tweet that Brett Farve said was essentially, he said, do your own research when it comes to voting. Don't just listen to a celebrity, which I thought was rich.

very meta. But anyways, it was like, Brett, we all know who you're voting for. And we also all know what fucking, what do your own research means. You know what I mean? Like it's so, it's like, you're just, if you want to, if you want to be like, don't listen to a celebrity, all that shit, then shut the fuck up. Don't say anything. You're literally doing that.

Oh, another aspect of the Haitian thing was in some press conference. I say recently, who knows it. They could have dug it up from three, four years ago. They do that all the time too. Who knows what the actual context of it was. but they found a sound bite of Kamala like bragging isn't the right word

just saying that they had Seaw walking they had accepted like I don't remember some 80 hundred thousand something like that Haitian refugees who were in desperate need of humanitarian aid and all this stuff because I mean dude Haiti is like a positive thing incredibly fucked up right it's uh yeah basically ran by gangs

they don't even have a government really it's like real bad shape and then they got you know and then Wyclef Jeanne sets up a charity to save them, but just keeps all the money and spends it on, like, Rasta hats and guitars and stuff. Yeah, evidently. I'm not saying he kept it all. The charity that he set up to help Haiti in the wake of that earthquake.

He's like, I wanted to help Fugis, not refugees. What are you talking about? Ended up being fraudulent, like, in a big scandal. They weren't actually. Basically, him and his family are Haitians. Yeah, that's true. He did help a lot of. But didn't he also, like, basically try to become the president there or something for a minute

and I don't know what all he did. Why John is Haitian? He's Haitian. And while all this shit was going on, he got involved. And I know a lot of it ended up being shady and scandalous. What's Will I am doing about all this? I know that that's the case, right? But anyway, she was saying, you know,

Haiti's having a real tough time. But our administration is, you know, given 80,000 people from there a new lease on life or something like that. So yes, said it in a way that was like, we've helped these people. So, of course, they've taken that sound bite. And they're like, this is what happens. Right.

It's what happens when you help poor black people especially. This is what happens when you... Right. This is what happens when you follow the creed that we have stamped on the Statue of Liberty. God damn it. This is what happens when you do the thing our country is founded on. And that also definitely hit for Jesus. That too.

It's also wild to think about like, I mean, look, obviously, if you just move to an era and start eating people's cats, no good. But it's wild to be like... They came to this great... country. You know, we're free, and there's jobs, and it's like, it sounds like they're hungry. I don't, like, I don't know. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Like, I could be off here. We got no food. We got no job. Our cats' heads are falling off. Yeah, it's a rough time to be from Ohio, I guess. But yeah, it was just long-tunley lying. I think I'd rather die in Haiti than have to fucking live in Ohio with that lady, my bitch neighbor.

Yeah, I mean, listen, if you're a fan out there and you're from Ohio, God bless you, but. Yeah, I'll be there next week. Come say me. It's for me. I won't say what I was about to say then. No, that's right. I'll just pretend I was talking about Indiana. You're going to Cleveland?

Don't hit. No, I'm going to Toledo, Dayton, Columbus, and Sensi. Individual cities in Ohio hit for me, but the idea of Ohio doesn't hit for me. You know what I mean? It's kind of honestly, it's like Florida. I always be like, I hate Florida. I'm like, but there's so many places in Florida that I love. It's the idea of Florida that I hate.

I love individual cities. I guess that's true with everything. It's like, I hate people, but I love individual people. You know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, hell, I kind of love the idea of Florida. Not all of it, but a lot of it. You know, Florida's, I appreciate,

I just always have appreciated how insane Florida is. They keep it hunted. You know what I mean? They do keep it hunted. They keep it so hunted in Florida. And I respect that, even though in many ways, you know, they don't hit for me. They also do it for me. When making decisions, everyone in Florida goes, well, we're in Florida.

So what should I do based on that? And then they do the most Florida shit ever. Mm-hmm. Hey, bud. Yeah, all right. Well, I ain't going to be in Florida anytime soon. I don't think, but I will be in Michigan this weekend. This comes out Wednesday.

So, yeah, Holland, then Royal Oak, then Lansing. And then next week, our buddy Travis Irvine friend of the show, will be with me in Ohio. He's Ohio boy. Always hits for the Ohio ones there. I already mentioned those cities. And after that, kind of sort of back home a little bit, Bristol, Tennessee, and then Atlanta at the end of the month. and then a bunch of other stuff coming up afterwards. Out there hot and heavy this fall.

So go to traycrouter.com and come see me. Drew, you've got big things to promote. It is fall. So first fall, that rules. I have a don't tell comedy special out right now. It's 15 minutes, almost all of which is new. There's like one or two jokes on there, you guys who've been following for a while.

We'll recognize, but there's a lot that you won't. I got heckled while we were recording. It did throw me off a little bit. I did get it back and I chose to leave it in. So it's an exciting set. Watch it on YouTube. Type in Don't Tell Comedy Drew Morgan or go to my social media and you'll see me promoting it. Comment, like, share, do all that.

I will be in, let me do it in order. Raleigh, North Carolina, September 15th, Asheville, North Carolina, October 4th. I will be in Chattanooga, Tennessee in October. I will be in Atlanta in October. I will be in Bristol, just announced that, November 8th and 9th. I will be in St. Augustine, Florida. I have not selected a Birmingham date yet, but I know I have one. I do think I left something out.

But, guys, let's be honest, that was pretty impressive. I'm 40. And by the way, we didn't get a chance to get into it. I just found out about a new concussion. My buddy was telling me a story. Remember the time you fell out of the truck and then you were dazed and we went to practice and did the Oklahoma drill? And I was like, I don't. I don't remember that.

Anyway, thank you guys. Follow me. Hey, this is Bain, everybody. So I have a new piece out right now at AJC.com. That's the Atlanta Journal Constitution. Go check that out. This Friday, I'm going to be in Center Alabama. Come check me in the Cassio Kid out. October 11th. I'm going to be in Atlanta doing comics for Kamala with a friend of the show,

George Wallace. and then October 23rd in northeastern Tennessee. I can't remember off the top of my head where it is. I'll put it in the description. I'll be doing a don't tell myself. So come see that. Love y'all. Thank you all for listening to.

Oh, we love Corey.com. Subscribe. Thank you all for listening to the well-read show. We love to stick around longer, but we got to go. Soon to next week if you got nothing to do. Thank you, God bless you. Good night and ski. you.

Fart. Fart.