wellRED podcast - #409 - What a Small Town Does To a Man

Episode Date: October 9, 2024

This week Cho has absconded to parts unknown leaving Trae and Drew to discuss all the goings-on in Scott County and, among sundry other musings, what it's like being surrounded by Real Men. Trae, not being remotely a Real Man, has much to say on the subject. Enjoy Go to TraeCrowder.com for tickets DrewMorganComedy.com for tickets WeLoveCorey.com for bonus stuff Go to ComicsForKamala.com and get tickets to see Corey in Atlanta this Friday!

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion. Because used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

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They're the liberal rednecks that makes some people. upset but they got three big old dicks that you can suck well here we are everybody not sure when I started or when I didn't show I ain't here so I'm having to be the producer there's no producing I just have to hit record and then find a way to get it to him later but yeah so I don't know what I'm doing but there's Drew what are you doing buddy I'm hanging out I was thinking about you in your bit earlier about not being a real man um I have a issue with my bronco. I've had it for a while.

There's a thermostat problem. It took me a long time to find a thermostat, which I don't really feel like it's a man thing. I think it's just a world thing currently because it's an old car. Got one. Didn't get a gasket for it because, anyway, point is the car's been messed up for a while.

Me and my father-in-law, I've been looking at it. My nephew, Zach, was going to help me work on it because I broke the head off a bolt. Me and him did trying to fix it. which apparently is very common in an old car in a situation like this that bolts rusted in there right so Zach was like I'll get a 90 degree drill that we can fit down in here so we don't have to take the whole thing apart just to get to it and I'll drill it out I can't so hold on a second all right um for the record here in a second tray's going to be like oh I'm gonna I don't know what is going on here but Corey probably won't watch the episode so he's definitely not going to edit this out and i was going to edit this out

uh the thing that's about to happen but then drew came back on and was like actually what just happened sort of uh makes i'll tell you in a minute and so now i kind of don't want to because it feels important so just letting you know uh try can blow me all right later love you so anyway i'm just going to talk softly into the microphone while he's doing that so there's not dead air because joe's definitely not going to edit any of this probably not even going to watch it, I imagine. So it's just going to be what it's going to be. So anyway, yeah, we back? We are back. All right. Um, sorry. So, where was I? You broke a bolt off and you broke a bolt off. Yeah. Um, kind of what just happened makes this a little move, but not really. I'll get to that.

So, bolt breaks off. My nephew's going to get this 9 degree drill, but he's like working a lot. And also, I'm not even sure that'll work. I've been talking my father-in-law about it. And he's like, he brought up welding a head onto the bolt. The thing I'd heard of before, neither of us have the tools or the skills to do that. Because it's not a quick weld. Like, for people who've welded a little, like to put a bolt on a head and to where it would hold when it's stuck.

Right. proper like someone who knows what they're doing right of course yeah i mean if you broke off the original bolt itself you're trying to like right you know fashion a new one together from parts of other bolts using welding you got to know how to weld because right that's going to break off right it's not like weld this on so it looks right it's got to work right so we're like all right but who who would do that like my dad is a little probably more handier than jim with a welder, but even he's like, that tight space like that, I don't know.

You know, maybe if you take it apart, that's back to the original. So that's what's going on. Today, right before this podcast, he's like, hey, that guy who's going to weld it on, I'll be here in a minute. Right.

You didn't know what I was going to, but, yeah. I was like, what guy? Right. And it was fine, but I go out there. It was so funny. I was like, oh, not only as my father-in-law like emasculated me by doing the thing

he called the guy to do the thing he brought another dad in right to be my wife's dad do you know it's not just like your father-in-law and taking care of your wife his daughter it's like to the point where he's like yeah I had to get

another dad in and take care of my daughter because me and you can't take care of her right by the way not even her vehicle yeah that's how deficient you are a man. Well, sometimes you've got to call in. You know, it's like in Pong Stars or whatever. I get your buddy in there that knows about Mediterranean books

from the 16th century or whatever. Every redneck dad's got a buddy that knows about confined spaces welding or, you know, various other types of welding and that type of thing. You know, sometimes you need a specialist. This is a job for Randy here. Right. Randy job. But I was like, oh, I, well,

I got to go work. And then as I was walking in the house, it was so funny to me. I was thinking and that dude showed up and was like, this is a nice Bronco, Jim. When did you get it? He's like, oh, it's my son-in-law is actually. He broke this bolt.

He's podcasting. Yeah, I know. So we have to do this. This, my father-in-law has taken two trips out here in the past like four months. And one of those trips, my mother-in-law, his wife came with him. And the other one, it was just him. And then also Katie's sister. But anyway, he's.

been out here twice for like a week each time or something. And I had this whole thing going through my head repeatedly because like when I'm here, both of those times it was planned purposefully for a time when I was not on the road, right? Makes sense. Okay. Right. It does make sense.

Families come. Because again, it's not just him. It's like members of her family, including their kids and all this. So it's like they planned it for a time when I'm not on the road. Well, when I'm not on the road and I'm here during the day, everything that I do, like work-wise, is out here in this room where I'm currently sitting talking to you, right? Right. And, like, I kept going back and forth between, like, because he also, he, like, he helped to renovate this room, basically, like, put the air content.

Like, he knows exactly what is in this room and, and what is not. Do you know what I mean? Meaning, like, he knows it's just a little something, some totally alien to him set up with this, like, this microphone and this weird shit and all this stuff. but like not no man stuff, you know, but I was torn the whole time between like wanting to spend time out here during the day as much as possible. So it's like clear that I'm like, you know, doing stuff during the day, that I'm like working or whatever, but that I have a job and I'm going to it. But then also being like, but even when I'm out of doing it and I know in his head,

it's got to be like, you know, what even is that? What is this is this is work? This is his job. I mean, I know they don't understand it, either one of them. And then it's like, but yeah, you can tell very, I guess, insecure about that whole. I mean, again, I have a whole bit about it. I brought it up a million times. But yeah, when he's around, I think, dude, I was getting on the Peloton in the morning.

And I would only do, like, classic rock rides and stuff. But again, I'm riding a stationary bicycle, you know. Like, the damage is done in all likelihood. But I couldn't do a, like, you know, whatever. an R&B or it had to be something you know something's like no I'm riding a stationary bicycle to slow ride or you know like foreigner fog had stuff like cool shit not gay shit you know what I'm a man like I think about that type of stuff anytime he's around like perpetually so yeah I know what you mean yeah they're out so they're out there like working on your

bronco right now while you're sitting here doing this that in my head the whole time I'd be like they ain't talking about nothing but me that's all they're talking about I don't hit. So what is he doing in there again? A podcast, about what? Let me say two things. One, the podcast thing was so funny to me because it's just like, I mean, it's dramatic to say this, but it's not that much of a stretch to be like, America has changed a lot

and I'm not sure it's a good thing. You know, if these hurricanes keep happening and the war, keeps going on and eventually comes here, you know, being able to get information out will be important, but not as important as well. Yeah, I was about to say, yeah, because I didn't, you got eventually to where I was at the whole time I was thinking. I was like, I think about that too. I think about like, you know, apocalypse come or whatever.

I got nothing. Like I offer nothing. I have some things, but like they're not good. They're like, well, we won't. die. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I've had patrons and stuff tell me sometimes, like, you know, they'll be, they'll say like, you know, they're whatever, you know, they're all liberal and stuff. They're like, I got these, why are you getting so wrapped up in these, whatever, notions of masculinity and all this?

You don't, yada, yada, all this other stuff. But it's like some of that shit, it just is objectively like a good thing to know or would be. I'm also just astounded by it because it's like, it just seems. like there was a long, long time where it's just like every man just knew how to do that stuff pretty much. But I'm always like, how do you know? Because I didn't get like taught. Like I was with my buddy Caleb Signing was with me in San Antonio recently. And me and him were talking about this. And he was talking about his dad is like, he can just do anything. Any kind of dad thing that ever comes up plumbing, carpentry. They didn't teach you. Whatever. And right. And I was like, okay, yeah.

And so do you know how to do those things? He was like, dude, I can't do a single bit of those things. I'm like, right. So, like, why? Like, you know, you didn't get taught, right? So it's still hit, but why would, why did they, why did they do that? Like, my dad, he was pasting out every single generation, but then they just looked at us and were like, there's no point. Like, I don't know. What happened? I got it pretty openly with me, he wouldn't say like it's pointless or anything like that, but he was like, you're not going to. be like me.

Yeah, I know. You're going to have a better. That was always, that was always my grandpa's stance on it too, was he was like, no, you're going to be like,

you're going to wear a tie to your job. You're going to work at a desk. You're going to do all. You're not going to do this greasy shit. You'll, you'll pay somebody to do this for you. And I get, I guess I get that,

but I'm like, you have no idea how much of a bitch I am now. So that gets me back to what I was going to say a minute ago. Like, the podcast thing was so funny to me. but I genuinely thought then, and I definitely feel this about you, I mean, I'm living next door to him.

This stranger who's welding the bolt on doesn't know why, doesn't know that's actually a huge sacrifice for me. I'm a hero. Right. Like, your father-in-law is, it knows how much your house costs, sees the neighborhood is in.

There's no part of him. All that toxic stuff has to, at least, acknowledge that. Even if it doesn't win out, even if there's like a, yeah, just another fucking rich prick you don't know to do it. It's like, but he is a rich prick, you know, like there's, there's, there has

to be that spot, that, that, that side of it. Like, my brother-in-law was working here with his crew and his friend, a worker and friend that I talk to all the time, the one that I caught on tape, I told you that story, right? Andy, Andy put her tities

on the glass and I was filming it because she was leaking milk and it was funny. And he didn't see any of that, but in the video, you can hear him talking to Aaron in the background across the way, and he's going, they even let kids play Dodgeball anymore? God damn. No, but that's funny.

You can hear that happening. Yeah. And it's a video of your wife's boobs leaking milk that you're making, and that's the background audio. That's pretty great. It does kind of sum you up. It's one of the times I really wish I could share. Yeah, right.

But he, like, caught me. to what other word to say it. He heard me doing a promo video down by the barn. I was dressed insane. He walked over there. Buddy, at first he looked like he caught me jacking off. He was right. Croy. Right. When he figured out what it was and I explained him what I did, enamored. Talk to me every day. Well, that's cool. Why don't you put more on YouTube? I saw that one joke you did. That was pretty fun. I mean, this dude wears a Trump hat. He had to have found what I did and got some gist of it. At the same time, my recent stuff hasn't been super political. But what I'm saying is, I honestly was laughing at the juxtaposition. I thought about your

bit, but I didn't feel any of that insecurity. I thought more like, I guess this was a little bit insecurity. I just thought like, yeah, Jim knows I'm not ever fixing this vehicle. If he don't do it. I just didn't think he, I thought he might make me make the phone call. And I was, I was glad he didn't. I didn't want to make the phone call. Now, real quick, only related to the story, not related to the theme, related to this specific story. That was my mother-in-law who came to tell me they had to go to the doctor. The dude hadn't come yet. Jim forgot he had an appointment.

Why they couldn't text me that? Well, maybe they, don't that mean he's going to show up in a minute and you're going to have to like deal with him? Isn't that what that was supposed to be about? I think so, yeah. But I'm not,

but you know what? This does get back to our theme because they don't respect that this is a thing. Is it. It's a real thing. Yeah, right. Yeah, exactly. Like you can just stop that any old time, right? I remember, like, yeah, that, I remember one time I was at my in-laws' house and Katie's younger sister was there.

And it was when one of my pilots was, it's always Christmas time when you're coming down the nitty-gritty and going to see whether they're going to take it or not. So you're always doing shit around Christmas time, rewriting them and stuff. It was one of those years, one of those pilots. I don't remember which one. But I was sitting in my in-laws in Wayne County and I'm on my laptop and it's a script. I'm working, what I, to me is like clearly a script. right and i like felt her younger sister behind me for a second and i like turned around and looked and she like had this crazy but she was like you're like wait are you doing like homework or

something and uh she's like is that like a project i don't understand she was like you know you're 34 or whatever i was at the time and i was like no this is a it's just part of my job you know this is a script and that you could just touch she was like you know even though i said that it was very much just say like, okay, whatever. I'm still going to have no concept of any of that. Yeah, right. See later, queers. But what you said about the guy being enamored, that's cool.

Because, like, I do feel like you get that. Cho was here. I'm sure he could give many examples of both since he's been in Chickamauga the whole time. But there definitely also is the other type, too, I think, of the people that are like, like, what is all that? You know, like, Thompson has told me before that he's run into some of the more red, necky dudes we went to school with out in the wild and that they have said to him you know i mean said tons of stuff to him about me uh but you know just whatever calling me queer what's up with you boy what happened to tray that type of thing which is always funny because it's like i was queer

back then too yeah anyway uh jason israel sold out right but uh but like the last time he ran into one of me said something like i just can't believe that you know smartest kid in our whole smartest guy in our whole damn school, like, ended up being a comedian, you know, like, you know,

like how I was supposed to be. Again, it's that old, like my grandpa, you know, I mean, you're smart, you're going to be a doctor

or a lawyer or some kind of business. Yeah, right. And it's like, it's so weird, because in my head, you know, to me,

I'm like, but this, that's, this is cool. You don't think this is cool. But people don't. They don't think it's cool. A lot of people don't think it's cool at all.

Dude, I've had fans of mine. And I may have told this on here already, but it was these two, this lovely middle-aged gay couple who clearly were well to do, you know, as middle-aged gay couples are wont to be. And he like, one of them ran into me and they were, they drove in a couple hours to see me. We were staying at the same hotel. They saw each other at the front desk. And then me and one of them was in the elevator together. And he like looked at me and like with the most sincere like pity in his eyes, like just the sadness.

he had as he looked at me and he was like he said something like just always he's like because he had asked me like I was like yeah I'm here tonight in Pittsburgh tomorrow night and then somewhere else after that or whatever and then he looked at me like that and he was like that must be a very hard life you know or whatever and I was like I was like no no no I mean this is like I left a good job to do this like because to me it's unfathomable that people wouldn't understand that it's like it's one of those type things It's a like pursue your dream type thing. And if you're doing it professionally, then obviously you feel at least pretty good about it, you know, but a lot of people have no concept of that at all.

And I can tell that this dude meant it. I could tell that he was like, you know, like I don't know, like I was making sac, which I do make sacrifices, but not the way that he meant. You know what I mean? But I can just tell he was like, God, you poor thing type of thing. And in my head, I'm like, what? This is, this is way harder than the DOE. But, you know. Other than maybe magician.

and we've talked about this before. We're just not. I mean, dude, even if you don't act in stuff that they know of. Yes, exactly. They almost are like, it's like your,

it's like that's the whole point though, right? Like Roder Williams got movies. So if you haven't figured that out, why you still doing it? It's definitely what it is. Yeah. And for me, the traditional show business stuff.

Right. And for me, this is all I've ever wanted to do. But then I, and then I ask them sometimes, I'll be like, well, I mean, you, what about like Theo Vaughn? Like, I was going to bring him up to. But then you could tell that they're like, oh, yeah, that guy's cool. But, like, only because he's, like, I don't respect what he does. I just respect that he's famous. Mm-hmm. And so it's like if you're not famous, and even you kind of are.

And still people are like, eh. Right. Yeah, I'm not on movie posters. are just like you said, even in things. That's the thing. You could be in, I'm not, but you could be in things, but it's things that are not well known or that people have not seen.

And like, that shit just don't count either. For those types of people we're talking about, like most of the people in towns like where we're from, it's like you really do have to hit at like a pretty legitimately high level for them to understand that you have hit at all in this field. And you said something. I had never even occurred to me. I don't think we talked about this,

but you kind of mentioned it earlier. and it's related to this. I'm not going to lie, dude. I hadn't thought about the fact that, like, all these other people that just come by randomly, they're not in your life every day, but these, like, denizens of Scott County or whatever, who you encounter and who know who you are and who your family are and stuff. They don't know the story. They don't know the full context of what you're doing there or why you're there or how you came

to be there. Yeah, they think I'm a failure. And I'm not going to lie, I think that would drive me insane because I was, would be thinking about that all the time too. I would be like finding a way to tell everybody. Like just so you know I chose this, I don't have to be. I could have been, I could be anywhere.

But I'm making sacrifices from my family and everything's fine. Like I would just get into that. They'd be like, we're at the dollar store checking out soon. What are you talking about? Like, that's how I would be. I'm also not gone because I'm trying to be with the boy.

And then I also, because of that, started taking contract legal work again. and yeah, it's funny, you say that. I think I'm just now realizing that I think I started to just feel like I had failed. And it's weird. Like, LA was going slow, but it was going pretty well as far as this stuff goes in terms of like the store was coming around. I have my own show there. My don't tell came out right after I left.

I think I sort of have a management I have a manager at three arts now that I got on my own by doing comedy by him seeing what I do so it's like but here's the other thing and we've talked about this actually we haven't much

because it's and I say this out of respect not like in a snotty way because this is something you cannot relate to I have had an amount of success that was so incredible to me at 30 but is not enough to sustain my heart or my brain. Like I don't need more for my ego.

Like I need more to justify all the stuff you're talking about. And I just don't know if it's going to come, especially now that everything's on pause with the kid. Am I going to want to even push back into it? I'm selling that to say, yeah, it's odd to like be living next door to your in-laws. and not. It's hard, I guess, sometimes maybe not to be like,

you know, I actually sold a TV show one time. Right. You've never heard of MTV and then like an 18-year-old goes, no. Right. You know what I mean? Well, it's actually, I was on this company, Don't Tell. There are a lot like Comedy Central if you think about it, but, you know, you guys don't because why.

No, I would. I would be doing that type of shit all the time. I know I would because I'd be, but it is funny. It's like in places like that, if you don't ever leave it, all that hits just fine for pretty much everybody i feel like because that's like culturally a very common thing to do like you know every pretty much every member of katie's family lives within a like five mile radius in Wayne county or whatever except for her it is fine and they've got various jobs and stuff but i'm saying so living right by your in-laws in a town like that means nothing to

no one no one with bad a bad an eye at it but when you are one of the people who you know left like very pointedly left and that's not that's not your hometown but still it's still it's accounts. Andy's the one who left, whatever. I wouldn't have been able to do my hometown dog. No, I mean, that's why I've always said that too. Like, there's no way I could live in my actual hometown. But yeah, even Wayne County would be tough. But, but, you know, there's that thing.

I feel like people think, even before anything ever happens with you, when you first, if you just, the idea of, no, I'm getting the hell out of here, being one of those kids in a place like that, there's an element to the other ones. I feel like, you know, oh, you, you know, you think you're better than us or too big for your britches type shit. So when you're one of those and you go and then you come back and now you're just doing what everybody else has been doing for 20 years or whatever. But now you're doing it after having that happen in that context.

It's just the type of thing that I would think they're thinking about all the time. Whether they are or not, that's what my brain would be telling me. I think they all know that I went to law school if they're keeping up with me. For most of them, they don't keep up with me. it's all in my head if I'm thinking it. I think they know I went to law school, so that's like whatever in their mind. Also, I will be honest,

I don't get in that headspace a lot. I really don't. And I don't know if it's because I actually do think I'm better than that. I don't know what. Like I'm just, but when I am, if you're already in that headspace, it's easy to get out of it

with the same toxic type of thought of like, look how hot my wife is. here's pictures of me with Adam St. Like, if you're going to, if I've imagined a man throwing at me, look at this fucking failure over here, then I'm like, all right, buddy, let's run to score. Right. Get your phone out.

Let's see who's had a life worth living. And then I am being an asshole when I go down that path, which is I guess why I don't do it. It's like if anyone's doing that to me internally or externally, that's on them. Now, I think I told you guys a story of this happened. I came back a few years ago, and they happened to be honoring, like, Tiger Legends, and they asked me to, like, go on the field or whatever.

My cousin was, like, who's very funny, was, like, roasting me before we all walked out there. Like, what did you come back for to vote? And I was like, yeah, three times, you know, like that, like, we were kind of. But then, like, later that week, I was like, man, he was really coming after me. And I was like, oh, yeah, because they didn't. honor him, which is so sad because I did not give a fuck about, you know what I mean? Like, I couldn't have cared less about the Tiger Legends. Does that mean I do think I'm better than not my town or not everybody, but people

who still give a shit about Tiger Legends? I certainly think I'm different than them. Right. You know? I don't know, man. Yeah. It's a head trip. Yeah, it is a head trip.

And it's a lot of sadness. And we don't need to get into it because it's not very entertaining. It is humbling. But it's also been cool because like, fuck, I got to get something done and I have a one-year-old. I'll just walk his ass next door where there is, not just like somebody who will watch him, but somebody who like adores him and it will help their day.

Like it's not a burden to them. It's actually here. Does this help? Yes, it does. You know what I mean? Yeah, that. I mean, you know, I never like me and Katie, the boys' entire lives never had that going on.

And it's like very standard thing. But people, you know, I sure did always covet it sort of. Sort of. I didn't want to live right by her parents or nothing, but the idea of being able to do what you just said used to really hit for me. We're very near the point now where we can just leave these here, you know. Right. Because they're like teenagers pretty much.

Just about. Yeah. Is that a window and then you have to stop again because now they're going to fucking do drugs? Yeah. I mean, I don't think I will stop, but I jokingly said that. Me and Katie went on a date or something recently and left them here for just a few hours. And I said something about not throwing a party just like hitting. But she was like, she was like, Tray, don't, what are you doing?

Don't give them any ideas. I was like, any idea. I was like, Kay, I don't think we're anywhere close to that yet. But also, I don't really, I'm not going to say I don't care. This is already kind of happening a little bit where it's like Katie has found some messages and stuff that don't hit for her because they're like inappropriate meaning it's just like wainer stuff

wainer talk that type of thing just like you know crass dick and balls sort of stuff that by the way from what she found wasn't even like written by one of our boys just in like a group chat there and some other kid and they're laughing at it or harding and that type of shit but it's just

like she's like I don't like all this and I just told her because me and Thompson talked about this a ton my older son is in uh... fucking seventh grade now. The younger ones in sixth grade. And so like I just think about like me and Thompson and the rest

of us really for me sixth grade is when it really, which is middle school. That's pretty common I guess. But like for me sixth grade was when it really popped off in terms of we became little fucking animals. Like when we were away like the things we talked about, the things we liked

and joked about all that. We were filthy. And so I just think about that. And I tell Katie, I'm like, Katie, I think you're just going to need to buckle up and get, you know, and get, because this shit is just starting and you ain't even ready for, you know, what all this is about to be. But she's, she's not, I don't think. She's not equipped for, you know, she's only got sisters. She's a girl, obviously. She don't, she don't have those memories that I have. She don't know how 13 year old boys, I mean, she was around him when she was a 13 year old girl,

but that ain't the same thing, you know. Thank God. Do what? Yeah, right. I mean, God. I mean, that's, Yeah. That's all you can hope for is that they do it with the boys and not the girls. Right. Yeah, dude. I mean, I don't want to get too gross and I'm not trying to put any thoughts in anyone head about their kids or whatever. But like seventh grade,

yeah, I mean, it ranged from like, for me and my classmates, it ranged from everything from like some people still seemingly had not hit puberty or certainly hadn't like changed into a monster all the way to like some girls were dating and having sex with juniors. Yeah.

Yeah. You know, like it was a different time. And I'm not, but I'm just saying like, yeah, seventh grade, the seventh grade brain is quite capable of being quite crass or wild or whatever word you want to throw at it. Yeah, very much so. So anyway, I don't remember how I got into that from the whole. Oh, the party. It's like, so with that type of stuff, I don't, I'm not, I find it a little weird, of course.

It's odd, odd adjustment, but I'm not upset about any of it because I'm like, that's just the way things are. again, I was a huge, like, dorky nerd kid and I still was a filthy little monster. So, like, I'm not that concern with it, but Katie is. And I kind of feel a similar way about that type of thing. Like, we, we through, I think that people who are even within five years of me on either side and from Salina, I think almost universally they would back up what I'm about to say, me, Thompson, and Bain and Corey Barlow and our friend group through a like, like, nine,

19 teen sex comedy level house party at Bain's house on Labor Day weekend. It was a Labor Day party because his mom was out of town. Not Labor Day weekend. It was like Saturday night of Labor Day weekend. His mom was out of town. And it was, I mean, it was insane. And, you know, that really hit for us and still kind of does to this day. When I think about it now, do you know what I mean?

It was a big. Nobody got pregnant. No, I mean, there was some slightly scandalous. shit that went on, of course, but it was like, yeah, just a legendary party and parents got mad about it, but then let it go. And, you know, it just is what it is. It's like part of teenagerdom as far as I'm concerned. But of course, look, I mean, as a parent, you know, that type of shit, you can't just say that and leave it at that. I mean, we've talked before over the year, my dad was very hands off, right? And it's like, I'm, I think that all that stuff is like natural

and it's cool. It's part of what being the teenager is and it's fun, whatever. But, you know, people do get pregnant. People do get hooked on drugs. Like things do happen. Like you have to keep an eye on it, but I'm not going to have to worry about that because I know Cody's going to be watching. I'm like a fucking hawk. So no matter what I do, probably.

So we'll just see how all that goes. But, yeah. Oh, that's funny. Yeah. I mean, I think about, I have these conversations with my nephews. I'm like sort of their go-to drug, sex, party and all that. And it's gotten intentional.

at times in very different ways with the two nephews, the oldest ones. They've had very different needs for intense conversations around the same themes, but it's like they're so different. They're having a different experience. And it's like, oh, they come to me because I'm their uncle

and that's true. But I also realized recently, like I was thinking about Razzie growing up and like, I doubt he'll be able to come to me. There's going to be a very different dynamic, but I kind of hope so. Like in my head it was like, well, I'm the uncle.

I don't have to react like a parent. Sure. But after a few of those conversations, I was like, this is how I would want to react to my kid actually. Like, maybe it's true that being an uncle has allowed me the space to be this, I don't know,

trusted, cool with them, whatever. Because anything they shouldn't have been doing, I tell them, you shouldn't be doing that. But I would tell them why. And it would be like, you know,

danger or whatever the reasoning was. And then I was at the family reunion this weekend And I saw a guy that I haven't seen a long time My dad wanted me to go the family reunion That's a thing that if you have kids You got to do shit that you don't want to do But I went to the family reunion And I saw like a

Like a guy who was married to my dad's cousin But I knew him from sports growing up He's around the community I didn't see him in a while And we got to talk And he said something to me where he goes It's different with my grandkids And they're more fun

But nobody tells you why it's because when you're a parent, if your kid does something that you're embarrassed by, that's on you. You feel embarrassed. If my grandkid does something and somebody looks at them like I should be embarrassed, I will punch him in the face. He can do no wrong. That's so funny.

But then I was thinking about that other stuff. And I was like, oh, like, yeah, I wonder if part of what happens, especially with younger parents is like, Like Jake and John are telling me these things. It's not a reflection on me. Yeah. I'm never like, and they don't feel it. There's no from them being like, sorry to disappoint you.

They're not disappointing me. I didn't do it. Right. Anyway, I don't know. That papal you were talking to for a minute. I thought that was going to go to what was a very hilarious direction. Because I thought he was about to say, you know, when you're a parent, your kid does something. It's embarrassing.

Like, that is on you. When my son did some shit like that, that's on me and that's hard. But now if my grandson does something like that, that's on my dumb-ass son. Yeah, I mean, you work kind of what you're saying. But I don't get how that's not still then, you know, transitively on him. You know what I'm saying? Right, right. Like it should travel up the ladder, I would think, if that's how it always works.

We can blame his ex because this is the second wife. That's the beauty of that. Yeah, which one? The papal could blame his son being a dipshit dad on his ex-wife. I'm just, I was continuing. I thought you actually knew all this information. You are back there now, so you know, it is how. No, that is what he could have done.

All right. We had Roscoe's first birthday. It was a rock and roll theme. Razi was born, like Ozbourne. We got like all kinds of cool stuff made. and mostly just family came obviously, but it was so wild. It's like you have these parties and you're like,

what's not for the kid? It's for the parents. I was like, Andy, do we need to do it? For sure. She was like, yes.

And I was like, all right, it's for Andy. Right. But it was for everybody else. I was like, are people going to care? Like,

are people into this buddy? The whole family showed up. They were getting in the floor with them. Rosie, look at my gift. it kind of blew me away. It was like another one of those moments, too, of me being like, am I autistic?

I don't get this at all, dude. Yeah. About anybody else's baby? You're like, no, thank you. Even my own, I want to spend time with him, but if I get him something and he don't like it, that's fine. Yeah, right. I don't give a single shit.

You know why? Because he's a dumb baby. Right. Yeah. Yeah, but now, dude, people, you know, family members, especially small. just everywhere you know people just love babies babies hit for people it's a you know it's a fun new thing you know what i mean uh in the family and mine's beautiful and everyone keeps telling me

and i'm like i know and it's like he's so pretty that i'm starting he's going to be a problem i really want him to ugly up just a tiny amount yeah yeah because you know how like really really pretty people struggle at some point when they have to, when, when like things, if and when things got happening for them. You don't remember that girl who was like smoking hot and then something happened and it was like, she had no skills to deal with it. Yeah. Well, I mean, I feel like I went through that with like intelligence, but, you know, because I'm from Salina and I was like the smartest kid there. That's what my mom said to me when I said this to her. I had this conversation with my mom yesterday and she said

well didn't you feel like you went through that some and I was like I was like honestly mom I was smart enough to know that I wasn't that smart in spite of what y'all would tell them I was not no that shit I had a quarter life crisis big time because of exactly that I like because I crushed it all through college to like breeze through no problem

graduated 4.0 with ease even grad school because I didn't breathe through grad school even grad school but you went to law I knew I should have got an NBA yeah right you went to law school it's very good and that's what I'm saying it's like yeah I got all through undergrad grad school and everything just fucking did it in my sleep

pretty much. So still thought that like still you know thought that way about my and then you know fast forward to two years out of that out of college or later whatever I was like oh I don't really hit that hard. I'm not like special like I thought it was or whatever and I think

with really pretty people they I don't a lot of them I feel like there's some of them that don't ever even really hit that So depending on how they're like. That's right. Do you marry the right way or if you're a man, you just kind of end up in a whatever job that allows you to be charming.

That's a good point. But also he's going to be like pretty. And a lot of athletes are pretty. They tend to go hand in hand genetically, not always, but often. But also probably smart. Like he's going to be the total package is what I'm saying. No, I don't, I mean, I'm not saying he's not going to be good looking, but I really think he looks more like me every day.

And I'm like, all right, you're going to be standard good looking, not affects your personality good looking. Right. And I also hope that he's not, that he's standard smart. And we're not going to live here. We're going to live in a place where being standard smart is recognized for what it is, which is like, that's fine. But that little Indian kid over there in a fourth grade can do that without a calculator. That's exactly how it is here. And the athlete thing, there's going to be black kids around.

I really think that I'm going to put. Costco in a position to succeed in life to make him think he's average. And then when he gets out in the world, he's going to be like, oh, I'm not at all. I'm actually above average. I just have to apply myself. That's my whole goal. Yeah, I've been trying, you know, I'm in the middle of trying to come up with a new hours.

I'm just trying out so much new shit. Some of it's been going well. Some of it is not. I tried to get into a lot of it's been about school just because that's where I started, was talking about at my school and schools in general, and I just kept having ideas. Plenty of them have not been great, but like one of them was about what we've just been talking about. Like I'm trying to talk about the whole being and gifted and how gifted was really special ed, like bringing back a version of that, a much abbreviated version of that.

And then going from that into like how that fucks you up, being a gifted kid. But I'm like, I'd say a gifted kid, especially if you don't have money. You know what I mean? But it gets real, it just gets real one man showy, real fast. Yeah, for sure. It's like I get like,

people have, like clap and shit at certain part, you know, and there's like some lines, you know, some good laughs and stuff, but it's, that's the type of thing I'm just not really okay with generally,

unless that's what I'm setting out to do. You know what I mean? It's just, sure. Say something that people are like, that's a great point or an astute observation or whatever. Yeah. Telling it like it is up there.

It's okay to, I'm totally all right with people thinking he's telling it like it is up there. long as they're like involuntarily laughing while I'm doing it instead of just thinking that and clapping or whatever. So that's what I've been running into with that whole shit because I go up that into like student loans and how again like there's like little bits of things that are funny throughout where it's like yeah, I was a gifted kid, but I was also, I'm poor white trash and you know, some things that don't transfer like about how true story.

My first week at college, I signed up for three high interest credit cards in exchange for three medium one topping pizzas at dominoes, right? It's a real thing that I did. And so like stuff like that. There's like funny shit in there. But then it ends up with me being like, you know. I'm going to change the world. Well, just maybe like Professor.

Yeah, right. Exactly. Thinking I was a genius in doing that. And that's who I was. You know. And I always say I thought I was goodwill hunting. I also tried a little chunk on goodwill hunting that I was excited. In my head, that movie's iconic and everyone knows it.

Maybe it is. And that wasn't the problem at all. Maybe the problem is it just wasn't that good. But I tried to like, I was making fun of my, myself about how like that movie meant so much to me and was so aspirational but kind of like we were talking about a minute ago but like I looked like a dark haired Bobby Hill or whatever and he was prime Matt Damon you know to like getting girls and just rocking shit and I was just a chubby little dork and also but also the outsized opinion of my own intellect like that scene

where he owns that dude in the bar by talking about books he's read right loved that. but what's so stupid about that is that in that scene he's talking about like philosophers and historians and shit like that books by and for intellectuals and I love to read but it was like John Grisham books and stuff

do you know what I mean but it's like that still was like nerdy in my school like that still counted like I'm always reading books and stuff but it was a time to kill and the rainmaker Stephen King Jurassic Park nothing like you know I couldn't quote like smart stuff and still can never had been able to.

This might be a grass greener thing. But I almost feel like your ignorance was at least more fun for a longer amount of time. Whenever it was that you got humbled, you had all the years before that, dude. I got humbled like sophomore year literally by a fourth grade Indian. Like I didn't just say that because I'm racist and was like, who's smart Indian kids literally a group of fourth and fifth graders whose dads were PhDs over no crudge mop the floor of me at an academic competition and I was like oh right because like I'm smart for

where I'm from yeah just like I'm like woke for where I'm from or athletic for where I'm from or have nice teeth for where I'm from or have money for where I'm from I didn't have money but like we were middle class and we weren't when we left the county line. Yeah. Yeah, no, I mean, I've had, you know, I've had bits about that. The whole, you don't, so you had some like perspective on it. I'm saying, because it wasn't just the intelligence thing. It was so many things about. AAU basketball. I never knew so many things I didn't, you know, I used to have that bit forever ago about realizing that I was white trash because in Salina, everyone was poor or whatever. And like, that shit was all true. Like, I did not realize what I really was.

or the background I really came from or whatever until I left and got out of there. And so even after college, when I got the job at the DOE and met the other people, I got hired as part of a Recovery Act programs. They hired a bunch of fresh out of college people to thank like a whole bunch of us. And in my division alone is me and Bryce. And then seven or eight other people, rest of pace producer, Bryce, yes. And I met all these people. And they do all these events, whatever, onboarding things.

You know, y'all go out to the last. at the same day you get tours together you take glasses together you do all this stuff with all these other new hires that are also my exact same age they're fresh out of college and they're from all over the country coming to work for the department of energy or whatever and i remember even though i shouldn't have been still being very like gradually realizing that none of these people are even remotely like me meaning like you know trashy at all like they all their parents are together they're You know, they're like... You are an anomaly.

I know what I'm saying. I know that now. I did not know that. But that could have... If you had known it then, that could have fed into the goodwill hunting stuff, too. That's the thing is like... It's like realizing that you are unique and special,

but just not framed as what you thought it was. And that's why I was saying maybe you're lucky. Like, it's a grass is greener thing, but I'm a little jealous because I think I went the other way. I think I, like, convinced myself... No, I'm like... I'm not special. And then I just kept floating through life until law school beat me down.

And then I was like, see, just like I thought. Right. You know what I mean? Like I can't not do any work and make A's. I said, well, of course not. But that doesn't mean, like, why? No one thought that. That's not what your teachers were trying to tell you at all.

You fucking dip shit. Right. But anyway, that's just my perspective. I wanted to say, I remember the name, the two names, to Michael Blair, I think I was 11 or 12 years old, maybe 10. And this dude, dunked. Dunk to basketball on me. At the same age as you?

Yeah, on me. Jesus. It might have been on a 9-foot goal if we were 9 or 10. Dunked it on me. And I just, I remember being like, oh, I'm not going to the NBA. Right. I think every white kid is a good athlete from town like ours has a moment. I think Shane Gillis has a bit about that on one.

on his Netflix special, I think, but with him and football, I'm thinking the same thing. Maybe it was an AAU basket, whatever. Basically the exact same experience. He shows up and he saw some 12-year-old dunk or something. He was like, oh, well, never mind. Obviously, this is.

Yeah. Well, then I remember being like, well, okay, but like Steve Nash or like, work hard, like be a point guard. And then the other name, this is when I was 14, and I'll never forget this. We played Lee Humphrey's team, a two-time national title winner, under Billy Donovan at Florida.

He was the fifth person on that team who didn't go to the league. Four of their five starters went to the league and had pretty illustrious careers, everything from All-Star to like good role player. Lee played in Greece. He was the shooter. Played against Lee at 14. My team was the best in East Tennessee, and we beat them, like 80 to 50, but he had 40 of their 50.

And I remember then it was like the second wave of like, I'm not even going to go D1, dude. Like, what is, what was that? Right. What was that? He was so strong and so fast. And Jamichael was dunking on him. And again, I'm not being racist.

Literally his name was Jamichael. Yeah, that's something to, I was never good at sports, but like my best friend Thompson was like the best athlete in our school probably. And I thought the same thing about him athletically back then. Because I didn't realize that either. I mean, I remember even having a. conversation with you after we met. So I'm like 25 at this time

and then been out of college. It was about Thompson. I think Thompson still listens every now and sorry if this is weird Thompson. I apologize. But I just got a little drunk and I was bragging on you if you're listening because I told you once drew it like sidesplers. I think you were talking about how like Thompson's measurables like his like combine numbers or whatever

you want to call them like just you know bench pressing 40 yard dash vertical, all those types things were just in like D1 level good is how I put it, which like just purely on paper, like they literally were. Like they were like that type of measurables or whatever. And I remember you being like, I don't remember exactly how you put it. You were like, yeah, but I mean, you know, like still doesn't. I mean, it's not, it doesn't matter, right? you guys were in Salina.

Like, it's not there. Because I was trying to make the case. It's like, if we hadn't been Salina, if we've been in a bigger school, who knows? He could have played for the balls or something. And you were like, probably not. And you hadn't even met Thompson at the time, but I didn't know your background of your experience with it.

That sounded like a real dick. No, you were just very quickly like, you were like, probably not, dude. I probably was like, what do you weigh? How much did he weigh? Yeah, he was like 6-1, 21, or something like that. But even, you know, 6-1. No, that's pretty good. It's like a safety, you know, like at that level.

He had like safety size and speed and stuff. But, but what he wasn't doing, again, Thompson's sorry if it's not like you don't know this. Those guys that end up at those schools, I feel like at every level they're at before that when they're in Peeway and then they're at high school. And they're, you know, they're like doing Lee Humphrey shit the way you just described in there. Yeah, like they're, it's absurd. Like there's no one else on either. team is even close to them in every single game they ever play. And Thompson was like, he was like one of the best players on our team, but it wasn't

like that. It wasn't like everybody on the field was like, that dude is on a whole other level than everyone else, which is how those types of players are, you know, until they finally reach whatever their level is. What did that be to, I mean, your buddy from law school to Iowa, dude, the Midwestern to do, big, big corn fed feller. He played. No, no, no, not Micah, a different guy.

He played college football, I think, or was going to and then stopped because I talked to him about, and he's a pretty big dude. He was going to be in the line. Rich? Yeah, Rich, yeah. He's Mike's buddy who they played football together in undergrad. He went to law school, but not mine. That's very funny. It's great when people just like, yeah, it's your law school buddy. I thought to him.

I feel like I talked to him for like over an hour at a bar one night when after one of our shows. In Chicago. Yeah, so I definitely thought that was your, why or how else would I be talking to this? dude. I met him for my law school friends. I'm saying I think it would hit for him that he, that you think that. Yeah,

but, and he, he had a similar experience too, right? So I guess he played in college, but in like, at a bunch of, Chicago.

Yeah, and, but he had gone to some camp at some bigger school or something and said he knew within being, being there for an hour, like after he showed up, he was like, well,

this ain't happening. Like, because it's just that apparent, you know, but that's, that's weird. It's weird how that works. It is weird how that work.

I mean, Well, it's just like you, in sports and any type of academic pursuit that early on when you're talking about tests, like standardized tests, you do well and you keep elevating until you're no longer dominant. And then that's where you stay. With other things in life, though, that's not how it works. Right. That's true. Like there's so many people who aren't better than other people who get elevated further for various reasons. It happens in entertainment.

I'm certain it happens in like the corporate world all the time. There's a whole trend on TikTok of people making jokes about someone called the fun hire, which is like someone who's just there to make the vibes good in the office. Right. And it's like that, I wish I'd have known about that. Because I think I'd have been a little bit more sniffing my own farts a little. I'd have been like, well, I can figure that out, you know, but I'm not going to be an NBA. Yeah, well, that's, I don't know that one, as a law year, I don't know if it's like this,

but for me, when I went to work for the federal government in a business capacity, like a desk job thing, that was another wild realization for me that I think a lot of people have when they get out of college and go to the adult world is like gradually at some point looking around and being like, oh, almost nobody really knows what they're doing. Like, you show up out of college or whatever, and you're like, I don't know what in your head. You're like, I don't know what I'm fucking doing. I can't let anybody find out that I don't know what I'm doing. doing because they'll like get rid of me obviously but then gradually you realize like that

motherfucker don't know what he's doing and he's been here for 20 years especially with the government dude and that's that's also you know illuminating uh and you know reassuring in a way but also kind of I'm disappointing isn't the right word but it's just like uh I don't know it's like finding out things that you think matter don't matter basically you know as you get I it I find it disheartening but again that's another example if I go back to like, am I autistic? I really thought comedy was the closest thing to

a meritocracy. Yeah, I did, damn it. And I think it is closer to be in a meritocracy than some other things. Like when you hear about like autotune or whatever, there's no version of that in comedy. Right. But you and I have been in it long enough to know,

but there's something not quite as stark or obvious. There's stuff like that happening. all the time. And there's also people who, in my opinion, deserve some credit for getting where they've gotten, but they aren't great at what they're known for being great at. I don't know if that makes sense. Let me say, I'll give some of my example. I don't mind. I don't even feel like I'm shit-talking the guy. Andrew Schultz is far in a way the most successful comic of our generation in terms of live ticket sales. He sold out Madison Square Garden. I don't even think he would blink

if someone showed him and clip of me going, he is not even one of the five funniest comedians of our generation. Now, I'm not saying he's not funny. I'm not. I'm saying that he is funny and then he is the best at another thing,

which I think is marketing, but I'm not sure. I don't even know what it is. So, yeah, like, I've heard, I mean, I've heard Bert Crischer say that exact thing about himself a million times before about how, like, he's like,

I sell more tickets. and I'm like top five ticket sales period. He's like, that's ridiculous. I should not be. He was like in terms of, you know, comedically, like I'm not up there. But you said maybe it's marketing. I've always thought Bert definitely excels at that. But it's also you said the fun hire thing.

Like he's got a, you know, he's got a thing. Comedy's fun hire. He's a fun guy. I mean, you know, I love. Well, I think Relativity is how you get rich. I really do. I think that, you know, being funny is how you get in front of people. And then I think relatability is how you get rich.

and being able to do both is truly special. I mean, that's why we for years were like, why is Leanne Morgan not the biggest thing ever? And now she's so big. Like my other part of my brain's turning on. I'm like, all right, slow it down a little bit. She's that big. She's great.

Truly. Well, I got to go. Brian's on his way. We're going to go to the gym and pretend that we're 30 again, I guess. We've been working out. That's been a thing that's nice. Brian works in this town that I'm living in. So I see him almost every day.

You got a gym there? Are you like using your old high school gym? We have two gyms in the county, dude. No shit, all right. Well, that big time. Big time. Well, you got anything to tell people? Yeah, I got a few things to tell people.

I have a post. Trey shared a video that alludes to the post. I have a post on my Instagram, Facebook, about, it links to a document that where, if you're wondering where to donate for Hurricane Helene, victims, where to volunteer. If you have somebody up there and they're seeking shelter, it's got a list of that. It's a spreadsheet.

It's pretty easy to navigate. I'm a pretty huge proponent of donate to mutual aid groups, send your stuff to churches and let them take the generators up. And some people got on to me, they're like, I'm not giving nothing to a church. There's a very specific reason I said that that I left out in my video, which is that FEMA can't take anything from a church. They absolutely can take stuff from you, not from your car, but if you go up and you're like, oh, here's a pile of stuff.

I want this to go to this community and you set it down. FEMA has the jurisdiction to go. Actually, we don't need generators here. I'm taking these to North Carolina. Now, I'm not a conspiracy theorist. I do think they're taking them to North Carolina, but if you wanted them to put them in Tennessee, you don't want that to happen.

My point is, I'm sorry, I'm on a tangent. Donate locally. I wanted to say that. I wanted to say that I'm going to be in Chattanooga, headlining the Lookout Comedy Festival on Friday, October the 18th. That's what day Friday is. I'm going to be in Bristol. November 8th and 9th,

and I'm going to be in St. Augustine, Florida, November 23rd, and I'm going to be with Well Red in December. And those are my only shows of the year, guys, because I'm a dad. So come out and support. All right, make a hit. Yeah, come see me.

I got a weird little Southwestern run coming up. I only say weird because it's just, you know, I don't know, you tell me. It's Durango, Colorado, Santa Fe, New Mexico, and Flagstaff, Arizona. So looking forward to that. But fun, fun little jaunt through the day. deserts and mountains of that part of the country.

Looking forward to it. That's next week. I hope you're driving. That's a rad drive. I am driving. Yeah. Well, I'm riding, but yeah, we're, we are driving. And where am I at after that? Appleton, Wisconsin. Then I got Frederick, Maryland, Philly, and Newark, and then a bunch of other stuff. And then, yeah, me, him and Cho will be at Zanis in December like we always are. So just go to Trey Crowder.com and check out all them dates that come say me. I appreciate it.

And with that said, thank you all for listening to the well-read show. We love to stick around longer, but we got to go. Tune in next week if you got nothing to do. Thank you, God bless you. Good night, and excuse you. I'm running a little late. I want to go.