wellRED podcast - #44 - Mueller...Mueller? w/ Heather Little!

Episode Date: December 5, 2017

This week the boys of course discuss the Mueller investigation and surrounding fuckery, along with a wonderful interview with Texas based singer/songwriter Heather Little! She was also kind enough to sing a few for us making it the first live music appearance on the podcast! heatherlittlemusic.com for all things Heather Little  wellredcomedy.com for all of our mess!  

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion. Because used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie. I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now. Skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people. People across the skew universe, I should say. Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year?

Do you even know? Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery? Getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low main? Because that's a thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better. and it's called Rocket Money.

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I used Rocket Money and realized that I had apparently been paying for two different language learning services that I just wasn't using. So I was like, I should know Spanish. I'll learn Spanish. and I've just been paying to learn Spanish without practicing any Spanish for, you know, pertinent two years now or something like that. Also, a fun one, I'd said it before,

but I got an app, lovely little app where you could, you know, put your friends' faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies. You know, those weren't a little like the Q-ball-looking twin fellas. Yeah.

So that was money. What was that a reply gift for? Just when I did something stupid. Something fat, I think, and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first. But then I quit using it and was still paying for it and forgotten. If it wasn't for Rocket Money, I never would have even figured it out.

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Well, it's up everybody. It's your boy. The show. As always, well readcomedy.com for tickets. We've got a couple dates left in 2017. Then we're taking a break before we hit it back hard in 2018 starting off in Texas and whatnot. So like said, well-readcom, w-l-l-R-E-D comedy.com. This week we've got Heather Little, a fantastic singer-songwriter out of Texas, who, man, what a fantastic interview. She does a couple songs for us. I'm a new huge fan, and I think you're going to be, too.

So I hope you enjoy this podcast, and please go to Heather Little Music and check out all her stuff and go see her whenever she's near you. Love you, skew. Bye. Well, well, well. Peckles. Was you a sot. I had dipped speckles on her chin. Yeah.

Oftentimes. Yeah. That was a simpler time when Ma Maw's dipped. Snuff, yeah. Snuff, yeah. They used to snort. When you say, I was about, okay. They used to bring that up.

When you say snuff and you talk about Mammals, like back in the day, snuff was a completely different thing. Oh, yeah. It was a powder that they fucking snorted. Was it still tobacco? Yeah. Yeah. Yes, but it was like very much drier, drier and more fine, and they would snort it up their noses. I don't know when it became like a, you know, a, you know,

lip thing. I don't know how that happened, but me and you, I feel like, one day some old boy was like, this burns and don't hit. That's how it became a lip pain. Yeah, and it ain't cocaine.

So why am I doing this? Yeah. I think me and you had a conversation one time about that, and we ended up on the line of, fuck yeah, snorting backer. And it would crush me.

I don't know why, but yeah, my granny, you saw us about doing, her mom. Yeah, she had her a pouch and she'd sit there with this little tiny ass spoon

and just snort tobacco all day. I mean, I kind of want to bring that back. That just very much, don't sound. It hits to me. I know, but it'd be, I don't know. It'd be, you know, I don't think smoking and preparing a pipe all the time hits, but it looks cool. Makes you distinguished.

That's, I don't know. I, personally, I at least feel very differently about smoking a pipe than snorting backer. I guess it's just no. I don't like snorting anything, even stuff that hits to snort. Right. It's like you just said. And that cocaine, why to fuck do it? Right.

And cocaine don't even, like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't. I don't either. I don't anymore. I've never been not disappointed in it. It was like everything sped up, but it didn't change nothing. Drugs is supposed to change how I feel, not just make me feel faster. Yeah, cocaine is very much like Tennessee football. When I was in high school, oh, yeah, hell yeah, it's doing pretty good.

And now, ugh, it was uncalled for it, it, I'm sorry. All right, well, just since he brought it up and we can do this very quick, because I know it don't hit for our fucking fans or whatever. Talking about sports. But I just want to know Drew's take on what happened today. Because when I first woke up and I saw John Curry, which is UT's athletic director, has been fired. I actually literally tweeted about it. I said, goddamn between this and Mike Flynn, it must be my birthday.

I also tweeted about both of them things. But I went to other route. I said everything I care about, politics and YouTube football. I something about like the show's getting horrible. All the storylines are unbelievable. I need a new reality show to pay attention. attention to. Right. But my point is, I was glad that John Curry was gone because I think he's been like objectively grossly incompetent and needed to be fired. This is one of the biggest

coaching debacles in the history of sports. And in my opinion, it's his fault. So he needed to go. Other than, again, we're talking about it, the kitty fucking, what was worse? I guess back in the day that Texas University got the death penalty, I can't think of nothing worse than no suit. I think there have been others, because this didn't, it actually didn't get to the point of a, like, an actual university scandal. Baylor, it was, somebody had got murdered. Dude, there was, there's all kinds of them, I think, as far as actual scandals. I'm very stupid, move on from what I had said.

In terms of coaching. I'm looking at me, Corey. Coaching scandals. I was just trying to be funny. In terms of, like, a coaching search, though, or like an administrative scandal, whatever. Just strictly football shit. Right. Like, it's pretty fucking bad.

You're right. And like, extra thing. gambling. There was no... It was literally just the coaching service. But then... Okay. Well, actually, that's not really true.

The biggest part of what makes it such a big deal was there's... Dude, it was a goddamn literal fan revolt, man. Which has never happened before. Right. And that's pretty wild. It is unrued. But the rumors is... This is what I was about...

Yes, go ahead. So I was happy, then I saw what you're about to say. Bill Fulmer is who replaced him. But the rumors are, because Phil has had a pretty... high profile role at the university. He gets paid like $200,000 a year to be some kind of liaison. Phil Fulmer's the former coach of the U.T. football team.

Yeah, for anybody don't know, he coaches for years, won a national championship there. Coached Peyton Manning and T. Martin, who maybe he'll hire now. The rumors are that he sabotaged, old boy, from the beginning. Like, kept trying to cut his balls off. Every time he made a recommendation,

you make a big stink about it to the powers above him and be like, no, this is a bad idea, etc, et cetera, et cetera. And then he went out to meet with Mike Leach. Curry did. Curry, and then apparently got there and found out he didn't have any authority. Yeah. I guess had the meeting anyway, or maybe he had the meeting and then found out he didn't have any authority.

Well, you know, you still want to hang out with Mike Leach. Like, even if you ain't got no authority, it's like, look, we're here, let's get some chicken wings. Right, so this is what I'm saying, yes. And they say that, right, he didn't have the authority, so he basically went rogue to try to hire Mike Leach. And that's why he got fired. Not for all the incompetence before it, but basically going against the grain or the Haslums or the puppet masters. Like he was trying to save his job.

Like, I'll go get Leach. They'll have to hire him. Right. And then they can't publicly fire me after I bring that name. And that's all speculation and shit. But I guess I've thought about it all day. Of course I have. And I think we've talked about it.

And we listened to some radio shit about it earlier and heard them talk about it. And I think where I've ultimately landed on it is, even if all that's true that ain't a good look without a doubt but like still ultimately I think even if he has been

undermining him stuff I don't think there's any doubt in my mind unless I'm missing something that Curry though 100% had his guy which was Greg Shiano like all that Shiano shit

was on him was on him whatever happened afterwards and what I'm saying is to me fuck him then like that's enough and that one of the dudes on the zone in national said the same thing earlier he was like as soon as that happened i was done with him and that's pretty much how i feel about it if everything we're saying is true and obviously there's a lot of speculation here but that's why sports are fun it's okay to speculate fulmer was sabotaging every one of his moves and then didn't

sabotage that one because he knew it would blow up in his damn face if all that's true if fulmer was somehow trying to undermine this dude the whole time but but see you what I'm saying is the way that I've, the way I've heard it put out, though, is there wasn't a the whole time until that fucking happened. You know, there weren't moves before that. I was like, damn, apparently Phil Former's

a goddamn maneuverable genius. I want him to be my AD right now. They've been comparing him, they've been comparing him to fucking like Aria Stark and shit on Twitter, you know, or whatever. His list. Just get, yeah, taking revenge and shit. I saw something like that.

Speaking of that, I mean, a coach has. I've seen a lot of people say, Tennessee is the new Game of Thrones. Talking about how dramatic it is. Clay Travis said that shit, too. So, all right. Let's connect these two narratives then on that note. The Michael Flynn thing is obviously the other big thing in the news,

and I'm going to break that down from a legal spendpoint in just a moment. And that's some Game of Thrones shit. For sure. Right in front of us. I got on Fox News as soon as the story broke, because I was very curious to see how. they were going to cover it. Corey, how do you think they covered it? Did you already see my post?

I did not see your post and I did not. I just woke up at like one. How do you think, just, just, gut reaction, how do you think Fox News covered that Michael Flynn was arrested today and is cooperating with the FBI in an investigation of possible collusion?

I'm sure they called him a traitor to the Trump administration. I don't know the answer to this genuinely, this is my guess, by talking about how Michael Flynn really worked for Obama and was barely even with Trump for any significant amount of time. And so thus it was Obama's fault.

Yeah, he's a piece of shit, but ain't got nothing to do with Trump. He was Obama guy. Everybody knows that. Right, exactly. Here is their front page. I'm going to read it. Secret emails detail FBI's hunt for leaker after infamous Lynch Clinton Tarmac meeting.

Well, that's something else saying it. So like they just literally don't didn't at all? That's one way to go about it. The Mitch Clinton Tarmac meeting is a meeting between Loretta Lynch and Bill Clinton on a tarmac that the FBI was investigating because they didn't know why they had done it. And look, it might have been some shady shit. We don't know. This was months ago.

According to some emails that they have had for a while, but they released today the day Flynn gets arrested, the FBI spent more time trying to figure out who leaked that they were investigating it than they did the actual investigating of the event. Which, by the way, no one can deny the FBI would need to investigate both. Unequivocally, their job would be to investigate that meeting and to investigate who leaked it once they started investigating that meeting. That they spent more time on the investigation of the leak than the other one could be explained in ways that are reasonable. And to be fair, it could be explaining ways where you go, oh man, the Clintons are paying some people off or whatever. I don't know. What I do know is she's not the fucking president. That happened months ago.

They've been setting on this information, and they are literally, literally. state TV at this point. They're literally state-back media at this point. I don't know how else to fucking say it. You can't be more in the pocket of the White House right now than this. This is the biggest goddamn news in the world. Michael Flynn going down, and it's

huge, by the way. It's not exactly how they be doing it in fucking North Korea, but, I mean, it's sort of our version of that, which is obviously better because we're better than North Korea. And I know all the right-wing people's like, yeah, and that's CNN for the the Obama's and the Clintons. And it's like, well, first of all, the Obama wasn't even on a scene until about eight years ago.

when they won this election. You can't, you know what I'm saying? Right. I was going to say, well, I guess Trump's pretty new to being on the scene, too, but Breitbart's not. I mean, Steve Bannon has got his name all over this year. Sure. It's just so funny to me that they're but the emails again. Just like that's all, it's so funn.

Because to me, it always just seems like Trump supporters just now figured out how to use email, so that's all they want to talk about. Sure. And that's that their new thing is, that's not if I can email. Well, let's talk. I was connecting all that, or trying to, connect all those stories because to me that's some Game of Thrones shit too. For sure.

Like, they're pulling a Machiavellian move right here. Right. From the prince or whatever. It's like, hey, we're in a bad situation. Let's just give them an enemy they like more. Right. Hillary Clinton's Barabbas. I just made Trump, Jesus.

Barabbas, Barabbas, give us Barabbas. Well, none of us believe in him, so that checks out. Right. Hilarious. And his daddy gave him everything. and he blew it. That is fucking... Or he's going to blow it. That is hysterical.

As long as we get to crucify Trump's what I'm saying. All right. Well, I'm probably going to go to jail now. No, you're fine. Let's talk about Flynn and Mueller, shall we? Sure. So what happened is Michael Flynn has basically agreed to plea. He was arrested or charged a day with a felony.

It's not collusion. It's lying to the FBI. That's what he's agreeing to plead guilty to. breaking that down in a few ways here's what we got here's what i think's important from it number one number one is there's a breach now in the inner circle i mean flin was as close to trump as you could be without being bannaned or with somebody in his family just in terms of circle of advisors so the fact that he has turncoe and agreed to cooperate and tell on the trumps or whatever if there's anything to tell is huge that's number one all right number two he's already been contradicting what

the White House has been saying for a long time. Like he's already doing that. Sure. He's already got a different story. Number three, and I think this is the biggest one for me, there's a famous idiom in the legal world. I don't know if it's attributed to somebody. It's not the crime.

It's to cover up. Proving collusion with Russia will be so hard to do. Sure. Like impossibly so. Like getting your hopes up for that is absurd. It is not going to happen. Don't think that's going to happen. what really truly could very easily happen is catch him in a lie.

Sure. Because when you're dealing with the FBI in Congress, obstruction of justice charges. Just as bad. In this scenario, yes. Because you probably if you perjure yourself, that's just as bad as. Is that what that time you're perjuring yourself? Perjuring is got to be on the record with official testimony. I don't know.

I'm trying to think of a scenario. I mean, has Trump even testified in front of Congress? Lord, it's been such a goddamn shit show. I don't even know. No, I don't think. I don't think he has. He fairly famously denied it at one point that he was going to. So, no, I don't think there'll be perjury, at least not on the actual president, maybe on someone else.

But obstruction of justice. They've been saying that for a while, man. Right. But I'm saying that Flynn flipping is big for that. Right. Because it's like, oh, collusion. And, you know, we're all fervent here on the left. Like, he's a traitor and let's get him.

We're probably not going to get him on that unless there's just some fucking, you know, recorded message out there that we don't know. about and if we by the way if that existed we'd already know about it they'd already nailed him but if if anybody lied especially his sons I mean his son stay lying Trump's yeah John Jr.'s been investigated and been in front of some of those folks like numerous times it's gonna happen this isn't related to that same thing but just in you brought up his sons did you all see that tweet that Donald Trump Jr. had that Colbert retweeted and literally basically just

all Colbert even said was like, holy shit, you're a lunatic, pretty much. And the tweet was like, hang on, just I got to find it. God damn it. I shouldn't have brought it up without having it in front of me because I don't want to butcher it or whatever. Why you look for it, I'll wrap this up because all I'm going to say is liberals out there listening to this. I'm telling you, don't, you've seen how this year has gone since election night. Don't get your hopes up. We ain't got shit on Trump. If we did, we'd already had him in the hole. But we might.

get something on him now if we can prove that he or anybody real tight with him lied to Congress or the FBI or whoever. All right, so Donald Trump Jr. tweeted what's today's date, Corey? The D.C.1 1st. Oh, wait. What the fuck?

It doesn't make it any less insane regardless, but this actually, this tweet is from fucking years ago. I don't know why. And maybe there's some context I'm missing, but anyway, it, in my opinion, stands alone. Donald Trump Jr. tweeted, hypothetical question, can my two-year-old get in trouble for sexual harassment for asking his teacher to come to his place

naked after school's over what i assumed when i saw that that his two-year-old had done that right right but perhaps he was saying i'm going to get my two-year-old to ask the teacher to come over naked in my opinion you ought to know not to tweet that in a if your two-year-old says something and it's embarrassing, that's fine to tweet, but not in that way. I put it in quotes. I think he's trying to be a fucking comic. I think he's trying to like make some point and be funny,

and he's just not funny. Like, this is out of hand. But yeah, yeah, like how far is it going to go? Because that's the narrative they love to use is like, you know, everything's a, they love trickle down in every sense of the word. Like, if we start doing this now, how far does it go?

My two-year-old can't even be a two-year-old and ask a teacher to come over. God, that's insane. Right. And you know what's fucked up, though? I remember I'm not saying any names or whatever. There was this kid in my hometown not too long ago, and he was going to one of the Baptist churches around there,

and he constantly asked one of the teachers if he could see her boobs, and he'd try to grab them, and he'd touch her ass and all this shit. And he was like four or five when all this happened. And literally every... That poor buddy has been... Something has happened to him. Well, that was the thing, is that literally everyone heard. heard I found out about it was like, well, he clearly learned that behavior.

Like, no one was mad at the fucking kid. They're like, he's clearly learned that behavior from, you know, someone in the house or whatever. Right. So what I'm saying is, if they're going to use that same logic, then I'd go with that one on that. Why is, why would that kid, if he did say that shit, where's he heard that shit from? This two-year-old ain't watching goddamn breaking bad. You know what I mean? So.

Hell, who might be watching? I mean, who knows? I mean, who knows? I'm just saying it looks like, he's either trying to be funny. and going some sort of like, I think I'm Bill Burr, rant, or he's trying to cover his tracks. Well, I'm with you, fellas. Let me ask you this, to both of you, what, and your, like, wildest dreams scenario, I mean, obviously, well, maybe not obviously, because I don't think that would be my wildest dreams.

Like, what do you want to happen from this Mueller investigation? Like, Flynn's flipped, he's talking now. What is it that you hope happens next? Like, next, I don't know. Ultimately. Okay, ultimately. I want it to fucking all come crashing down. You want him to be...

All of it. I want him to be fucking ousted. I mean, hell, I want him to go to goddamn jail. I don't think that's going to happen. I don't think I do. I don't think he'll even get fucking impeached or whatever, but... I don't either. If you ask me what I want, buddy, I want him in a fucking jumpsuit.

I think I want someone close to him who has lied, like, not just to hurt him. Like, you know, if someone close to him lied, I want them to go away for lying. I want that to both. hurt him. I do want it to hurt him personally. That's not the only only want it to happen. And physically somehow. And I want it to render him all but powerless. I want him inside Washington because of this scandal.

Because, dude, if we get rid of him, we got fucking Pence. That's okay. Or if Pence and him go, I'm pretty sure it's Paul Ryan, ain't it? Yeah, and that don't hit because that boy's got some charisma. He is evil. He is evil. Trump is like bad and dumb. Trump is an age.

egotistical maniac who is just happy that all this is happening and he's the most powerful man in the country. And everybody's talking about it. He don't, in my opinion, he don't actually want to do nothing. Right. But Paul Ryan is a young gun in this and he's thinking imperialistically. Yes, he also

believes insane shit. That's what I'm saying. I really don't believe it. No, is Trump a good person? Fuck no. Just being side by side with it and not stepping up is being a bad person. I don't believe that he believes half shit that Pence says, half the shit that Paul Ryan, but he's like, whatever.

So what I want is for him to stay in power based on that, but have no power because he's been maimed by this scandal in Congress and all that. They don't want to fuck with him anymore, but Congress also is losing power because we're going to win in 2018 and their association with Trump is rendering them ineffective. In other words, I want this to be the most lame duck fuck presidency in the history of America. We skirt through it somehow, and then we get an actual progressive into 2020. a fucking Democrat Socialist. I'm supremely glad you just said that

because that is exactly how I was about to answer the question, not as eloquent as you, but I was like, I honestly want Trump to still be here in 2020, but without being able to do anything. I hope what happens from this is that at least enough people on his side go, oh, fuck, his approval rating drops.

Nobody will work with him. Look, what we got going on right now as is, yeah, we need some improvements, but as long as he can't, he don't pass no more bullshit, and everything stays at it as is until 2020 because dude I'm I'm kind of terrified that if he actually did get impeached and we actually somehow threw him out of office number one like you said Mike Pence being there at Paul Ryan I'm scared that there will be literal deaths in

the street yes and I don't want that me neither if he can just stay in there and then 2020 we have a goddamn election I was going to say peaceful election good lord no but then we just actually vote him out and then we can turn it on their heads and go hey stop fucking bitching this is your goddamn president now. I'm loving this part. I was hating when people said that like, we elected and get the fuck over it at your president. That made me mad at first, but now I'm happy

because I'm screenshot and every time I see that shit, I'm fucking making a file. And so in 2020, when we have some fucking Che Guevara motherfucker, I can just be like, hey man, I don't know what to tell you. Yeah, I don't want Che Guevara. No, I don't need. No, no, dude, I don't either. I was just making an extremist point.

I absolutely don't want that shit. I'm saying when we get a guy that we like and they're all fucking complaining, and they're all going, this ain't the way our fucking country should be. I can go, oh, you know what? Fucking move, because you've been telling me for four guys years.

Fuck all that, man. The revolution will not be televised. Blood for the blood God. That's what I say. Right. Well, I believe this revolution is now. It won't just be some of them that die. It'll be mostly our people.

Yeah, I know. We do pusks. When they said the revolution. I'm just kidding, but I do, I don't, I'm sorry. I still, I 100% believe all that happened

and I would like to actually see it result in fucking justice. When they said the revolution will not be televised. Again, I don't expect it to at all. But you asked me what I wanted, and that's still what I want. I understand your point. I totally get it. One counterpoint that I have to that.

I know that. I mean, that's what I said. I'm not saying I expect it. I'm saying I would love it. Sure. But like one counterpoint to what you said about worrying about getting him out of there. Like, dude, and you know, fucking eat these words later, whatever if he actually does, you know, get impeached or go senile

or die or whatever. Like, there's no there's, in my opinion, there's no fucking evidence that any of the goddamn rest of them have any competence to fucking do anything either right now. Like, they ain't done shit.

They've got a super majority and they have one, like with healthcare they have a thing, they all unanimously agree on and they can't fucking make it happen. They're about to change the tax code in a very fucked of way. Without a doubt that, yes, but that, like, yeah, and that don't fucking hit. But it's also, like, so insanely in their wheelhouse.

Like, they've been doing that shit for years. That's that whole, like, why do people not vote with their, you know, with their economic self-interest? Because I know, you know, I know all the people in Salina going to be, get a real boost from this new fucking tax code they're passing, which just favors the ultra-wealthy more than any, any, any U.S. tax policy ever fucking. has and yeah i'm i you know i've thought for a long time that the only reason that it ain't started trickling down any is because we just ain't give them enough yet sure this is what's gonna do it this is going to push it over we see to give them a little more and then it'll start trickling down clearly that's obviously what's going to happen wait no that's retarded why would anyone expect anything

to change now trickle down does work it just it trickles down to china like not our folks yeah well so it doesn't work. Right. No. Well, I'm saying it is trickling. I've got a whole, uh, I actually have an entire web series coming out on this very subject soon with,

attention media. It's all about trickle down economics. And let me tell you, Corey, we make some fire ass points. I guarantee that, buddy. It ain't going to obviously make any difference.

No, but like, uh, but I'm saying it's been on my mind a lot lately. Well, I've been working on this web series. Yeah, you're talking about yelling at a wall.

Good God. out. It's fucking insane. Y'all continue hitting. I got to sign off for a minute. And the second part of the thing, I might be there, or might not, depend on how that plays out. Well, we love you. Yeah, y'all make a hit.

Tell them what. He did. I will, right now. Okay. Make sure to do that. Well, the only thing, I mean, I guess we, I mean, we have wrapped that up pretty well. Sure, I mean, nothing's going to happen.

Everything's going to be fine. I'll tell you what's going to happen. You know who's going to jail? Is only Jared Cushman? the one goddamn Jew among them is going to go to jail. Somehow America will find the one minority and be like, well, you're going to have to go to jail. We didn't know. Yeah. We've never heard Kushner before.

Because I'm pretty sure Kushner lied directly to fucking the FBI. And I think that they're going to be able to prove that soon. I just, with this whole goddamn thing, man, and I know that where I'm beating a dead horse here, which would actually be more fun. But like, where did that come from? Beating a dead horse? I mean, I get why. I get the phrase. I get why.

but like, I've never thought about that because it's like, well, it's pointless to beat a dead horse, but like, who's just baiting a horse? Yeah, like, where did that pop into some fucking sickhead's mind? You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Like, if I was like thinking like, oh, you're doing something pointless, you know, like there's so many metaphors that would come to mind before I would imagine.

That's like that out of a horse if it's already dead. Yeah. Uh, Jerry? Not that I've ever done that. There's something you need to tell us, Jerry. Check his cooler. No, look. Daddy owns a horse farm.

It's no big, everybody relax. Somebody go look in his freezer when he ain't looking. You got a horse. set in there. You got like a fucking punching bag made out of dead horses. Yeah, I'd be fine. We have gotten off the rails. Let me just tell this story about you. Okay. Well, it starts with about Trey and Trey would want me to tell the whole story. Trey and I ordered pizza and wings last night. You was still over at the club hitting. Mm-hmm. Because, of course, we did. It was two in morning. He went to sit down at the table in here, and the chair he sat in. He says he broke it. I'm

pretty sure the leg was already, like, popped out. Yeah. And it, like, started a collapse, and he quickly he jumped up and he was like, ah, you know, whatever, whatever. And I was like, yeah, man, I saw it earlier, something. And he's like, sitting in his chair. And I was like, I ain't sitting in that chair. And he goes, no, I want to see something. And I sat in it and it didn't do anything.

And then he was like, I'm a bag of shit. I don't hit. I'm such a bag of cats. I said bag of cats. I'm going to say bag of shit. Shout out to DJ. Yeah, no, I just did DJ's joke accidentally from the last week's podcast. He has a joke about carrying a bag of

lack of cats. Then we commenced to go on in and we ate most of the pizza and wings. I know you came home and ate some. Well, before you got home, then we went outside and we was talking and he was smoking. And I sat down in a chair outside.

And I saw a crack in the chair, but I just didn't process it. I guess I'm just so fucking arrogant. I was just like, yeah, I mean, the chair's crack, but I'm already one for one tonight, baby. I sat down and it popped. nothing happened it just popped and I jumped up

and then he started to laugh and then he goes I mean that kind of don't hit either because I mean hell you sit down in it and nothing happened it just made a noise

you ain't even breaking this chair and it's already damn broke I mean it had been it made me feel better about myself if it was fucking core because he'd have fell smooth through the goddamn thing

and then we laughed and how that would have happened well then we came back in here and we ate and then you came home when you were eating with us and then y'all went outside to smoke.

And when y'all went outside to smoke, I was doing something on my phone. I was making a note of a joke or something like that. And in my head, I heard Trey go, you said, let's go outside and smoke, and you started to go out to the front. And I heard Trey go, let's just go out back. And I had said that to Trey earlier.

That sinister fuck. I had said that to Trey earlier just because I was like, I don't even know if he knows there's a back porch and it's a much better place to smoke and they got like an ashtray out there. So a part of me was like, well, yeah, it is a better place to smoke.

But a part of me was like, what is Trey doing? What is he doing? And I was trying to hurry and get my joke writ. You know. And then, to be honest, I didn't really hear anything. Like, I didn't hear y'all making any noise. Like, the door was closed, whatever it was.

So I was like, I guess it's fine, whatever. But then I am going to go out there and talk to him. And as I'm approaching the door, I hear laughter. And I'm like, oh, shit. Did I miss it? It happened. What had happened, Corey? I sat down to the chair.

By the way, to prefer, I was outside of my mind drunk. I was fucking hammered. We got in from the show last night. I went straight to the Zanis. They let me go in there and drink. I had some whiskey shots with the staff. It was a lot of fun.

Well, that was the thing. You came home slurry, and I was like, I just left you, and you'd had two beers. Whiskey, dude. You started pounding whiskey. And as soon as I did that, I honestly drank like seven beers in like 30 minutes just because we was talking, we was having a good time. They're going down. So.

Yeah, we can say that's the reason why. Yeah. Right. I come out here hammered. I sat in the chair and, yeah, fell smooth the fuck through. Like, and not only that, the chair, like, destroyed on all ends. It exploded. And my tail, I hit concrete tailbone first.

Now, it didn't hurt last night and I knew, but I mean, I was like, man, tomorrow this ain't going to be good. And go figure, it ain't good. It's a lawn chair, y'all, but like a big green plastic one, but, like, I guess it's called a lawn chair because it's real low to the ground. Yeah. So you had to come way down to get in. into it. Dude, and again... It broke in like seven pieces.

And the reason... And let me tell you something. The reason that you didn't immediately hear laughter is because it tickled Trey so much that no sound was coming out of his mouth. Then he started coughing and then he doubled over and I'm not... Like, he looked on his face. He looked concerned. He was about to fucking puke with laughter.

And Trey wasn't that drunk by the way at all. Like, Trey had a couple beers so it's not like I'm about to puke anyways. He was laughing so hard that he almost fucking puke. I was so bad he was still here right now. He had to go do something because I want to tell him to his face, whatever amount of joy you felt, it's not even a fucking eighth of the joy I felt when Corey puked on your face. Couldn't have been.

There's no way. And the thing, too, you came out there. And y'all let me just sit there for five fucking me. I couldn't get up. Well, you kept saying that. I honestly thought you was just trying to hit. No, dude. You really couldn't get up?

I really couldn't get up. I kept saying, help me. And I thought you were just hitting for me. It wasn't, I wasn't physically hurting because I was drunk, but it had, like, locked me up. Like, it locked my back up. I was filming Corey the whole time. That's how good of a friend I am. Yeah, you just saw my snap.

Oh, shit. I'll put it on the Instagram. Point is. I'll put it on well-red Instagram right now. You guys can go find it. The point is, it's never been more clear to me that this was Ralphie Mae's Home Club because not one fucking chair here exists or works. They've always got a fucking hole in them.

It's insane. The other one beside it, uh, it's just don't have an ass. There's no ass. It's a assless. It's like somebody was out there drunk and they were like, I go, I'm almost out here to shit. So I'm at least just going to take his bottom part out. I've heard of an assless stripper, but not an assless chair. Yeah, it was an assless chair.

And no, that did not hit. But, like, you know, I'm true comedian. I was never mad at all because I saw them. False. No, it wasn't. Or maybe you pretended to be to hit. We got you up, and here's the thing. And this is what I want to get to.

I was mad at the chair, but I said. We told you, you did say it, but you were getting mad because we told you the story. Because when you were sitting there, you didn't know the story. Right. We got you up and we told you the story. And what was so cool about it for me is that Trey had pulled it off. Yeah. Because he often doesn't.

Trey can't pull anything off. He has this inability to lie or to know that he should or to think about how to lie. Like we've talked about before. Yeah, it's very endearing. And it's also proof that I used to people like he's fucking faking this. I was like, son, he can't fake shit. Nothing. No.

So the fact, I assume he just walked out there with a little cigarette and you sat down in the chair. The other one and I sat there, yeah. Which is enough of the move, you know what I mean? But I was so proud of him, and I was telling him that while you're in the chair. Maybe you don't remember. I got you up. You grabbed what was left of the chair. You were screaming at us about how we had left you in that seat for five minutes.

You tried to throw the chair over the fence. I was like, no, because it's a parking lot back there. Several pieces of the chair, not just, yeah. You started to throw it as it gets over the fence, like a great right fielder saving a home. run. You see the car. There was a car. And you just grabbed a chair as quickly as you can.

Like you caught your own toss. Yeah. And you slung it back and it landed on a scooter. That's also broken. Yes. But it landed on that scooter in a way that was like, to me it was like, you know, McConaughey-esque. Sure. How the hell do you get it to land on that?

Every now and then when I'm drunk, I have some real smooth things about me. But it's never in a thing. It's never in a thing that could actually help me. It's always just a weird thing. Well, also, no matter how smooth you were in that moment, because you had sat and then got stuck in a broken chair. It wouldn't imagine. There was no smoothness.

That was the universe going like, all right, well, we'll just give him a little bit of one right here. Sure. Yeah, yeah, exactly. No, I remember saying this. You may have left. I was acting,

my, mostly it was to hit, but I ended up saying the only reason that I was frustrated is because I didn't get to be a part of that. And I knew how great it was. And so basically, when I'm a part of the hit, but I didn't get to like see or,

I was the hit. you know what I mean sure it was just I was like I wish I'd have thought of that or I started thinking like God if that'd been Trey and me and Drew had a scene I was just upset that I didn't get to be a part of it I know it'd been unreal no man I was I was about to do this like metaphor for what it's like to be a part of the hit versus purposely being part of the hit or whatever and I was going to talk about like when you go from like a good time drunk to you got a problem drunk it's funny to you when you're a good time drunk and then it's not funny to you when you're a problem I'm drunk. And I was saying that metaphorically. Yeah. I realized, no, that's literally what I'm talking. Yeah, no, no. No, that actually plays here.

Yeah, that checks out. Well, but you didn't bring to share because you was drunk. No, of course not. Bro. You broke and I'm fat. Because you've been drunk too many times in your life. Yeah. Fat because I'm drunk and I'm fat and I'm fat.

That's the Gypsy Speedbutt song. Fat because I'm drunk. Drunk because I'm fat. That's so fucking great. Oh, man. But yeah, man, it was, it was terrific and it was a well-played move on y'all's part. But, yeah, so, well, you know, we got to, go to the show now, Drew.

Let's do it. So, you know, we're going to come back on this. We will come back. This will be the first portion of the podcast, and then we will be back here directly, and I will make some nice little transition twinked here and there. But we love you, and we'll see you in a minute. Stay tuned for Part 2. Hey, what's up, everybody?

It's the show. Before we jump right into this interview with Heather Little, please enjoy this song by Heather called The One. She sang this live in our condo. in Nashville and absolutely just blew our socks off so we hope you enjoy and check out all our stuff love your skew you know stone he gets on my free arms don't ever let go i can't hardly feel that's a little strange in a shiny thing more than i we show it off and down it's just like it's wearing me Didn't sign should be older

I feel it's strange Say it again Until it's true I can't even feel This band of gold I give him a free strain A little silver

Oh you know about that? I've never heard it turned you blue But Yeah apparently if you take too much of it It will turn you blue Hell yeah Someone on the internet told me Because I was taking it on the podcast

Yeah? Yeah. There are any adverse effect to being blue or to taking too much of it? Well, you're poisoned. I mean, you're not just like blue and that's it. I think also like, you know, your liver gets fucked up or stuff. Hell, I don't know. I didn't read it.

Somebody sent me that and I was like, whatever. My wife's a witch. She told me to take it. So I did. They gave me shit about it. So welcome back to the second half of this week's podcast. I don't remember exactly where we left all. We were screaming about something and we had to go do a show.

Well, we had wrapped up. the discussion about Flynn, I think. We had, you know, basically covered every angle of the most complicated situation in the last probably at least 20 years of America. We pretty much took care of that in about 12 minutes. Yeah, an extremely nuanced investigation. We just absolutely nailed it and put a bow on it. So we are currently here.

That other voice that you hear is our good friend Heather Little. How are you doing, Heather? Hey. You doing good? Yeah. You enjoyed the show last night? Oh, my God, man. It was so fun.

I'm so happy. It was kind of like listening to people just. talk about shit that didn't happen to me. Right. Yeah, but yeah, man. And so we met, I'm a little fuzzy on this. It was, was it Dallas? Yeah, yes, at Texas Theater.

Okay. Dallas, yeah. Cool. So what's been going on with you since? Heather, did you know that's where they killed JFK? I mean, Harvey ran after that? Yes, I'm worried. I was a log, yeah.

Harvey Rand? Harvey ran after he did it. Harvey Rand killed a man named Lee. I was about saying you're all sorts of fucked up. Yeah, I did know that. I have a joke about killing JFK, and I forgot to do it there, and it's one of the bigger regrets of my life. And I just made this about me. Anyway, go ahead.

What part of Texas is you from? Also, hold a mic real close to your mouth, please. I'll do that. Thanks. I'm from north, central Texas. I grew up in a town called Princeton. Okay. Yeah.

Was it a lot like the University of? It's exactly like that, except it is exactly, yeah, except with, yeah, without. the IQs and, you know, literacy and things like that. You all don't have high IQs or a lot of IQs, I bet. No, I mean, it's actually a lot like the town I live in now in Texas. I live in East Texas now. Okay. But it was super small.

We had about 3,000 people there growing up. Fancy. Yeah. I mean, it was. You don't say that shit. It was fancy. Yeah, I mean, considering the towns around it, like we had like the little communities around it that didn't necessarily have their own schools

and stuff so they they came to us i don't know it was some zoning bullshit where it always you know yeah where's somebody like oh can you take me home sure i'll i'll give you right home where do you live and their house is you know 30 35 damn minutes away from the school oh yeah we had a little bit of that like on the end of the county or whatever yeah yeah i feel like it was more like 25 minutes though damn 45 well maybe maybe 30 or 35 it It's just windy-ass roads. Yeah, I mean, just like, windy-ass roads, and then you go over bridge it. Like, there are some people that I ended up taking home one time, and it was just out.

And I didn't know that this section of the world existed, and clearly it had been there the entire time. I, you know, lived in that town. Heather's still mad about it. They didn't give her gas money. I'm a little pissed. It's not right. They're lucky I can't find my way back over there. Right.

And you can't afford to get back over there. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. That seems to be a whole lot of Texas for me. It's the biggest goddamn state, obviously. It's like there's so much just, I guess, barren wasteland of just y'all's interstate system also fucks with me. I don't really understand it. Yeah, my husband hates it too.

It's weird. Y'all have, I don't know any other way to explain it other than you all have just these really fucked up on ramps that like I feel like for a long time. I'm like, oh, I'm on the road. And they're like, no, you're not on the road at all. You're on this weird side road. No, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

And I didn't understand that. I went to Indiana. I lived in Indiana for like five months when I was ridiculous teenager. And I missed my exit toward Indiana. We got to pause right there. You went to Indiana because you're a ridiculous teenager? No, when I was one. But like, are they associated at all?

It was completely stupid. Yeah, it was ridiculous. I moved up there with a boyfriend that I had. I thought you meant they just sent you to Indiana. We got to get the goddamn Indiana. No. No. I was 19, so I wasn't super young. I was 19.

In my head, like, at 14, Heather was like, fuck this Texas town. I'm out. No. All right. No, I moved out when I was 16, but I didn't go far. I was like, that's it. I'm going 15 minutes down the road. Sure. Yeah. Y'all can suck it. I'll be down here. Which was one house over because you know spread out. Everything was. Right. But, no, I moved up there, and I had to go to Indianapolis, and I lived down in, um, Cloverdale, which is tiny, and I missed my exit.

And it took me like 45 minutes to get back to where I needed to go because they don't have that. You can't cross that cover. Yeah. You can't just take the next exit and loop back around, which is what Texas has. No, Indiana is, and not to disparage the fine people there. I love the people I love doing Indianapolis, one of my favorite cities to do comedy. But God damn, that dry, like when you go to, I think it's a mission, you have to drive all the way through in Indiana. And I just, boy, I've never wanted to do something less than that.

Yeah. And it's pretty. So what you moved out, you said you moved out at 16 that was moved out of your parents' house and then just went somewhere else in Texas? I moved it. When I was 16. You couldn't do it at your parents. So you just left. No, I wasn't that adventurous.

I was too much of a chicken shit to be, you know, out drinking and doing dangerous shit. I'd do stuff like I'd cut school and go do my laundry or go sit at town lake and write in my journal. I was a hellion. Bullshit. Yeah. I'm going to separate my whites from my colors. That's right. Yeah, well, I had to be at work at four, and I was going to work four to 11,

so I'd be like, I should just cut the last half of school out and go do my laundry, so I have, you know, it was done. It was very practical. Where'd you work at 16? I worked at Walmart. Girl? Yeah. Hell yeah.

So you got to Walmart. Well, no, the next town over had a Walmart. You city sleep. I'm just kidding. I hate it. I'm telling you, like, I knew as soon as you said, yeah, it was a small. town is about 3,000. I just looked at him and he's just like, what the fuck?

Because how many, what, what, Sombrow? 600. 600. But I mean, that name where I lived, I lived in Burville, but we just say Sunbrite because Burval didn't have a post office. I don't think I've ever heard you say Barville. Yeah, you've definitely heard me say Burville. And every time you do, we do this where you go,

Barville. You're from Barbel. So you would ditch class to go do your laundry and write in your journal. Yeah, so I've nobody partied like me. Yeah, that's what was going to ask was this like a diary. situation or that's when you started writing music. Well, it was a journal diary type situation at that point because, you know, I was like, ma'am, my life sucks and I'm terrible.

Thanks. You know, just write it. So I started doing stand-up at 16. So the stuff that I was writing about at that time, you know, as far as stand-up goes, it was a whole bunch of, you know, my wainter this and blah-b-b-ba-ba. What were you writing about at 16 in a small town in Texas? Gosh. Mostly things like, I didn't really start writing songs, songs until I was, until I was about 19.

Really? It was when I really started, or well, I take that back. When I was 17 when I started writing songs, but it was things like just super self-destructive relationships. And that was my, like, other people were like, oh, I'm going to go do some Coke and, you know, get super hammered and whatever. I would be like, I'm going to just immerse myself in this incredibly unhealthy shitbox of a relationship. and, you know, think it might pan out somehow. And so that's kind of the stuff I wrote about. Yeah, that's a great drug.

Yeah. Growing up in Texas, who were some of your inspirations as far as singer, songwriters, and whatnot, what were you digging on? Because we, I mean, I listened to country music when I was a kid. Y'all, however, and you know this better than anybody in this room, Texas is its own thing. Yeah. We talk about all the time these dudes like, I'm sure you're familiar with Wade Bowen

and, you know, Hayes Carl, who we have. had a couple weeks ago on the podcast who's great and awesome but like there's some of these dudes who while we love them like most of the country don't fucking know who they are but they are god damn rock stars in texas and it just alludes to the fact that i believe it more so than ever texas is not america it's texas it's just its own thing yeah well and there are people who subscribe to that super hard core you know bumper stickers to seed and you know they they really think that texas should actually be it's country.

They probably think it means succeed. Yeah. Well, they did, they might, there's a good chance because they have that sticker next to their American flag sticker. So, I mean, and their Confederate flag sticker. Of course. So it's like, I don't know. Maybe, maybe it's multiple choice.

Dry race and they, whatever they feel like that day, they could come out and, I don't know. Sucidin's always been like interesting to me. Like, if someone was to pull it off now, it's like you secede from the union, but like, I mean, you still live here. You know what I mean? It's like when you're at a. mall and you tell somebody by and then y'all both walk to the parking lot at the same time you're like

oh shit like that happened me and john milanian at the airport after i said that dumb thing to him yeah yes i know what you're talking about that's exactly what secession is like um so who were you fucking singer song right um well you can't you can't get away from george straight sure texas like um one of my biggest probably influential um music things that happened is from the time I was about six years old until I was, you know, 13, my mother would drop me off at the skating rink and I'd be there from 7 o'clock in the evening until like 11 o'clock when she came and pick me up. And they played George Strait's first record. They would play the entire A side, and then they'd flip it and play the whole B side. You'd couple skate. It's all George Strait.

But then, yeah, so. What else would you couple skates? Right. Yeah. But I mean, they played like the stuff that you don't here now even like sure got this old redneck feeling blue and that that kind of stuff but um the flip side of that of the whole country thing was you had these super rebellious you know teenagers that were like no i mean they they wanted to hear rat and you know the quiet riot and all of that kind of stuff and so that was one of the places that i guess i would go and that's and that's what you'd hear you'd hear george straight and that sort of thing but then at home my mom my mom mother had a

like 60s and 70s rock on the radio constantly and a lot of Motown. Like I mean, I was in love. I was really in love hardcore with Stevie Wonder and Michael Jackson, of course. And God, Prince,

I can't even talk about it. Prince. Yeah. You mean, what do you get a hot and bother? What do you mean? I mean, I just love him so bad. And I've always, I always have since I was a little kid. And like before, like, before all of the, you know, sexual crap in his songs, you know, before I even knew what any of that stuff meant, I was just like, I need whatever this is. Right.

And I can't, I can't fucking believe he's gone. Yeah. Yeah. The other day, I got real fucking high and I was watching that new show on Netflix, Big Mouth, which is not, that's not why I started bawling crying. but there is a where are you going there's a scene in there where Prince's ghost

shows up and it was super funny and whatever but like I was real high and I just started thinking about you know all these prints something I was like

and I just started fucking bawling crying and like I know I'm broken I'm deeply broken I'm deeply broken I just noticed I just noticed that my stomach

was look at this you didn't know that no I didn't know that I thought you did no fuck no his belly's hanging out like a papal and like we have a guest here

but no I just started bawling crying thinking about it's fucking too soon man he was a goddamn beautiful artist and dude when i i loved prince but i wasn't like mega holy shit fan like got to see purple rain but i have cried my eyes out there i'll hearlis out there listening to know if you don't know that big mouth is a cartoon that is solely about puberty and it is literally just dick joke after dick joke after dick joke after dick joke it's very funny phenomenal it's not i don't i'm not disparaging the show but the idea that

you started bawling at. Like, because I watched it the other night and like the jokes that I remember was like he came and they went to the middle school dance. This is a cartoon. Everybody. It's not weird. And he came in his pants. Uh-huh.

And then he went to the bathroom. And he jumped in the toilet. Yeah. Anyway, my favorite line was he goes, oh my God, this is the most I've ever made. No, my God. I've said all that because you mentioned prance and no, I get it.

But it's, yeah, what a tragedy. Yeah. So, and really, you know, when you talk about, like, the very first things that I was aware of, like, really, really aware of, oh, my God, I'm just, I'm in this. I love it. All of them happened to be black. And so I thought at some point, because I wanted, I was like, I'm going to be a singer. Well, I thought at some point I would begin the transition, and I didn't understand. I was like four. And I had a Hall & Oates record.

Did you think if you sang more, you would, is that what you had to do? The way that I thought, the way that I thought is that at some point, it would just be, I would just begin the transition. Like, I'm a kid right now. Some people grow up and are singers and therefore, they, that's, you know, you just become black. Yeah. And the way I knew that wasn't true, though, is it's so goddamn stupid. I had a Hall of Oates record that I loved. You know, I'd Sarah Smiley and all about stuff on that.

Were you scared you were going to turn black so you made it were like, shit, give me hollow notes. No. No. No. I heard Daryl Hall singing on TV, and it was just like, it was on. I was going to run in there and listen to it. It comes on, and I was like, oh, that's it. And I ran in there, and there's this tall, lanky, white dude singing, baby hair, woman smile.

And I was like, that makes no sense. Mama, I asked my mom, why is he singing my record? And she just kind of leans in from the kitchen, because it's like kitchen. TV and everything that's and she's like oh yeah that's that's hauling oats and I it was kind of devastating

because it was like I had to just deconstruct everything that I imagined would be my path to becoming a singer and be like okay so I just got to figure it out and like okay I'm not going to be black that makes no sense made no sense

yeah like Eminem's what made me go through that but yet that is absolutely phenomenal so you start you start writing at 16 you're in laundromats you just just moved out when did you actually when did you go from taking i got these songs or whatever to i'm going to go do them like i'm going to go on stage i'm going to figure something out was it an open mic was it a talent show it was a i entered a contest i was staying at home i had been writing songs for years and I'd sing I'd sing here and there but I had real bad stage anxiety so it it just sucked anytime I tried to go do it my mom talked me into entering a singer-songwriter

contest uh when I I lived in greenville Texas and I had um two kids at home and um I just went did it you already had kids oh yeah I was a grown-ass woman uh we had an episode that people responded to about dreams where we just talked about like what it means to follow them or how we tell people to follow their dreams. But is that always responsible advice? Does it depend on the situation? It's depend on the person. I'm very interested in...

So your mom encouraged you to do this. Yeah. But like, did you... I don't want to be a dick, but I'm like, did you actually think, I could do this, or did you think, all right, I mean, I might go to do this competition, but I got two kids.

This ain't happening for me. Well, a little of both. I mean, it was... I wanted to be two things my entire. life. I wanted to be somebody's mama and I wanted to be a singer. And, you know, I just, there wasn't anything else. There just didn't, at that point in my life, it didn't seem like there was anything else that I was just good at it, that I was just passionate about. And, you know, I went and did that and stuff started kind of happening. Like, okay, like, I met Miranda at the, she was

a judge of that, she was 17 and she was a judge of that contest. That's how I met her. Yeah. Yeah, and then... How old did you say your word and tell? I was 25. Okay. So you're 25, you go to do this competition. Now, you've been seeing your whole life for most of your life. Oh, yeah.

And you do so well that Miranda Lambert takes an interest in you. Yeah, well, I mean, at the time, she was a 17-year-old kid. She had an independent record that she'd put out in Texas. And, you know, she came up and handed me a card and was like, hey, you should come over and we should write sometime, which that sounded odd as balls to me. like brushing each other's teeth or something like how do you write a song on some level i knew knew that people did that like they would write songs together and come out with a singular song but it never occurred to me that at some point those two people have to be together and talk about the process it's just like a super personal thing like hey let's brush each other's teeth or let's put

each other's socks on i'd be comfortable i haven't i haven't either in me and my franchise have absolutely written songs together well i was thinking more like with jokes and how, like, I want you to help me write jokes, but then there's comics. Sometimes comics will just, like, give you tags, and, like, sometimes I really appreciate it. And other times, for some reason, it makes me annoyed, and I just realize it's because I wouldn't let this motherfucker brush my teeth.

Yeah. No, I've never thought about it like that at all. I mean, I think it's just one of those things. Me and my friend Chase can write together, and basically what will happen is he will have, he'll record a little something on his phone and send it to him. He goes, this is something I'm working on. I've got this hook.

I've got this course or whatever and see what you, see what you think or you might have an angle, yada, yada, yada. Yeah. Me and him are real comfortable together so we can do it. Then I've got another friend who also writes music, but we're not that tight, and we literally can never get nothing going. Like it's, you know, like pulling teeth to get us to write something together. But we chase, it's like we're one person at the time. But no, I totally fucking get that. That's a very nice way to put it.

I've never thought about it like that. Yeah, well, you need that level of comfort. or I say that. I think the best songs come from that. Sure. Because there's nothing, you know, you're not sitting there going, well, I need a hit. I need to, you know, I really need to get something on the radio. What does the radio want to hear?

What does Keith Urban want to cut? You know, and those aren't, that's not inspiring. Yeah, I was about saying, I believe there's plenty of people that think like that and do it. Oh, there's so much of it. That's all that shit's garbage. There's a formula. That will eat your soul in this town in particular. You know, it was super hard, you know, as a writer with a publisher and you're,

you know, that's the whole point is you write songs. They're supposed to go get them cut, you know. And I don't want to gloss over anything. So you meet Miranda. She's young at this point, obviously, and y'all start writing together. Yeah. Do you immediately start performing more live after that contest? I did a little bit, but I still had really bad anxiety.

So really most of my live, like actually going and playing shows by myself, I didn't do that until I was about 30. Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah. So you were just writing for the first five years then of your career, as it were. And what was the quote-unquote break or what was the first steps or how'd that go? Well, the way I got my first publishing deal, you know, Miranda went on,

and she went on a Nashville star and she got a deal with Sony and she got hooked up with Frank Liddell with Carnival Music here in Nashville. And she and I had been writing together. And the way that the story is told to me from Frank Liddell is Miranda was like, hey, you have to sign this girl. I've been writing with this girl and you have to sign her. I'm going to bring her up here and you just have to sign her. And when you got up there, was it a done deal or did you have to show anything? No, I mean, it was kind of weird.

One of their songpluggers at the time, the guy named Brad Kennard, who's just gone on, he's gone on and done bigger and better, amazing things. and he's an incredible human being. But at the time, he was songplugger for them. And he was like, hey, I'm going to come down. I'm going to come down and listen to you. Are you going to be around? I'm going down to South by Southwest in Texas. And so are you going to be around there?

And I was like, actually, I'll be at my, I'll be at my grandma's. And she, you know, she lived in Austin. He came to my grandma's house and I played songs for him on my grandma's porch while my son, it was you know he was a little fat baby rolling around on a blanket and uh i want our listeners to know this and i'm also curious because we're not i know we have a tendency to do this because we assume everybody knows what the fuck we're talking about what's a song plugger i'm not exactly a song plugger goes out and they play songs for um for artists for people who are listening for songs to get cut okay right so there's a step between you and the well you already said keith urbans of the world and

there's like a business that revolves around that? Yes. Okay. So he goes and he's like, here's a song by Heather Little. He plays it and they're like, okay, fucking A.

Right. Okay. Yeah, I had never even considered that in my life because I've always been curious about the publishing business anyways in terms of like, so when you sign with it, and I'm sure they're all different, but when you sign with a publishing company,

is it like, all right, I've just fucking write songs and send them to us and we'll see what happens. Is it a salary type situation? Well, there's all sorts of different deals. Like my deal was, I was paid in advance every month, and that's recoupable. So basically, they're advancing you money to spend your time writing songs

and handing over whatever they're agreed upon portion of the rights to the song is. Is it a song a month? It comes out to about that, yeah. Right. Yeah, it's usually 10 or 12 songs a year. Right. I'm being sure some months you're cranking out more than other than some months. It's just because, I mean, that's how jokes work.

Yeah, I mean, I'd go through periods where I would just, I was compulsively writing songs. Like when I was going through a divorce from my kid's father, I couldn't stop writing songs. I'd have six or seven songs running through my head all the time. And when I would come up here to ride during that time, that was the first time that I was away from my kids. And I didn't know what, I didn't know what to do. I know that, that sound is all you. here. And so I'd be up here. And when I wasn't writing songs, what am I going to do? Oh, I'll just find somebody else to write songs with. So I would co-write two to three times a day when I was up

here. That's something. I wish Trey was here right now just because that's something he talks about sometimes with guests. And Corey and I don't have kids, but he's got to be away, you know, most of the time, too. I'm sure that was really tough. I mean, I hope this question is fair. Did you feel guilty? Oh, yeah. How'd you deal with that? Real bad. You mean, I say yes because, yeah, I felt guilty about a lot of things. I mean, like, being away from.

Or being away. Be just being away from your kids to work. Oh, always. But, you know, at that point, being just conducting my life the way I did, I felt guilty about going to the store and I've left my kids at home with their father for 45 minutes. Right. I don't know how to deal with that. Like, it was, it was bad.

Right. So you're saying that what I'm asking about, that might have been an issue, but it was sort of low down because you had other issues going on. Is that what you mean? Well, yeah, about guilt. Because when you, you know, when there's divorce, you feel guilty about, you know, I'm doing this because this is not, I know that this is not where I'm supposed to be. And ultimately, my happiness and my well-being affects my children. And even though I have to create this tough situation, it really is for the best because I can't, I can't contribute to their lives in a healthy way if I'm this shitty, warmed over, half-ass version of myself. You know, I want them to, the coolest thing about them being the ages they are now is they can really get to know who I am as a person more than who I am as their mom.

Because I'm, if I told them the other day, if you knew me when I didn't have kids, I'd be really the last person to be like, okay, no, you really, now get your book, go sit down at the table and do your home. You know, that's not me at all. Sure. I can't stand that sort of deal. Yeah, I'm kind of terrified of having kids because, God damn it, that ain't me either. Of course, Amber will just do that, and I'll make them terrible. Well, dude, honestly, I feel like I'm just starting to get to know my parents as people, and it's been very cool for me, to be honestly.

Yeah. Yeah, I kind of agree. Because I left home at 17 and just wasn't back. You know what I saw him, but, like, I wasn't around enough to really get to know them. And now I'm spending more time with them. And I'm like, oh, yeah, you guys are human beings who aren't just my parents. Because the last time I was around you a lot, you were just my parents to me. Yeah.

Yeah, I'm watching my grand. much of my parents become grandparents for the first time and it's been like really cool. It's been super cool. And also they're getting into their, I mean, they're not old, but like, you know, dad's kind of semi-retired. They're doing a lot of cool shit now and like really just, I'm like, oh shit, I don't know y'all's into that. Right. Like they asked me for fucking weed cake balls the other day.

Now they ain't, they ain't fucked with them yet, but like just them asking. They was like, they just wanted them in the counter. Yeah. Oh, God, that's great. And I was like, what is going on? and it was so cute too because they were like, mom was like, what do I, what do I do? I was like, here's what you do.

Take one and eat one and then two, already has something on the stove ready to go. Don't be cooking. It's your first time you're going to fuck up. Get some fettuccini, something that's easy. In two hours, go in on that, then go in there, watch Young Frankenstein and lay your ass on the cows.

And she's like, and then what? And I was like, that's it. Was she writing this down on a piece of paper? Okay, let me just make it list. going to do that anyway. But sure, I mean, whatever you want to do. I have a question about, well, do you tour now? I play mostly around home because my kids are, my kids at home are 16 and 14.

So, and my son's in public school. My daughter's homeschool. But she, like, she hasn't needed me since she was four years old. She's like, I got it. Okay. I get it. You know, pee in the toilet. I'm set.

Leave me alone. Did she get that from you? Maybe. Maybe a little bit. Well, I mean, you said you moved out at 16 so you could do your laundry. Probably. She's just so, I mean, she's just very self-sufficient. You know, she rarely ever has any kind of a question for me about anything academic in any way.

And I'm kind of a nerd ball. So, I mean, I got it pretty much. But she just doesn't need, she doesn't need me for that. And so, eh. Cool. And my son is, you know, so he's going to public school. So I really have to be, this is his first year back in public school after three years of homeschool. So I kind of have to stay around the house a little more for that.

But primarily in Texas, like you were talking about those guys that are just rock stars down there and they run around touring in Texas because you can do that down there. I couldn't do what I do down there up here because people play for free up here. Sure. Yeah, in Nashville? Yeah. And I don't be playing for free. That's how comedy is in New York. Like, paid.

Oh, yeah. Why would we do that? Jim African came here last night, and I didn't pay him. You know what I mean? You're like, oh, okay. Yeah, we were talking about it the other day. It may have been discussing you coming on here, and we were talking about, like, usually the dudes in Texas,

they also do, like, they fuck with Oklahoma, too. But those just two right there, that's really five states. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, the whole region. Texas is so goddamn big by the time you do here. Yeah. And get all the way down to here, they want to see you again because it's been a goddamn couple months. Okay.

So that's the related to the question I was wanting to get at is I'm trying to think of a good example of somebody I know. So you try and sell songs. Well, I used to. And now you don't. Now I don't. I have not had a publishing deal in a while. I've not been seeking one in a good while. Okay.

Did you get over it? Did you get over watching people do your work? Or what was that? Well, I'm over getting in a room and people being like, hey, here's what I was thinking. Well, George Water and the bikini and a tailgate and the red dirt. And, geez, come on. You nailed it. Come on.

Next time they asked you, want to walk in there and make fun of them. You could write all that shit on. Yeah, I mean, you could write all that shit on, like, dice and then roll it and be like, we're writing those five words and we're just going down tonight. We're going to solo cup and just partying, river. and yeah. What if we just accidentally got you to ride a fucking hit right here? Oh, yeah.

I actually heard that. I actually heard that Jamie Johnson when he wrote honky tonk bodonka don't, which he did. I don't know if you do that. But he was at the Wild Horse Sloan right over here, and somebody said, look at that girl, she's got a badongka don't. He didn't know what the fuck that was. And he's like, what's a bonka don't.

He goes, it's a honky ton, poda don't. And then he just sit down and shit out this thing. And like he was kind of doing it as a joke, just like, whatever because I mean clearly the man's body of work speaks for itself he's phenomenal but he just kind of to him was just like look this dumbass thing and then here comes trace act and's like hell yeah poetry yeah this is fucking my no doubt we're not gonna get you or ask you to talk shit about anybody and I'm not I hate Tracy and I'm not no and I hate his ass I hope he hears this and that's why I prefaced the whole Jamie Johnson stay

can you meet me at Arlington jump up my ass you fake patriotic piece of shit I only have, I have one Trace Atkin story and it's really stupid. Let's hear it. Okay, so. She's just started up. We're really good friends. We used to write together. No, I've never actually met him.

No, I've never met him. As long as much time as I've spent in this town and the places that I've gone and been, I just, I'm not that person that's going to just walk up and be like, hi, celebrity that I feel like I have license to just introduce myself and take some of your time because I've seen you ever before and we're in the same room. I hate that shit real bad. So my husband and I were at Miranda Lambert's wedding, and the reception was just everybody is there. Freaking everybody's there. I'm sorry. And they told everybody, no cell phones, no pictures, you know, leave that shit at the hotel, none of that.

Well, we're standing there, they're about to cut the cake. Trace Atkins and his wife, who was, I mean, just little bitty, tiny lady, like my size standing there, you know. he's huge my husband is this big old corn fed bastard you know we said and not say yeah what i just said to you to his face i would not do that he's very large he's yeah he's enormous so we're standing there and um my my husband's but y'all met my husband last night and he's not small and he's standing there and where trace's hand lands when he stands there is at my husband's like waist so it's like yeah none of that so he his wife pulls out at phone and she starts taking pictures, you know, the wedding cake and whatever.

And he goes, I was like, man, damn it, what the hell, man? I, really? I mean, there was a bunch of people that still had their phones and stuff, but I asked my husband, you know, he's like, do you want to tell Trace Atkins' wife that

she can't take pictures? Trace Atkins' first wife if I'm not stuck in shot him. I know, I'm telling her shit. There's a pattern, so no, I wouldn't fuck with it neither. Although, it would have been amazing, yeah, some red-ass friend of Miranda Lamberts

just jumped down that girl's throat and then country music royalty got into a big fight at a wedding like everybody was just throwing that would be just whooped Trace Atkins' ass into the cake my god

that would shit yeah I'd be sitting here telling that story for sure definitely what I'm wondering is like you brought Jamie Johnson that's the perfect example he's got albums

and then he's got songs that he does how does that work? Well, I get that. Like, I've written plenty of songs that I would never, never record myself. I would never put, I would never would have put gunpowder and lead on my own record. I never would have put the other, the first one, me and Charlie Talking. I probably never would have put that on a record that I made myself.

Because I was terrified. I didn't make a record until 2013. And so that's a long time to be cranking out songs before I'm, you know, ready to go, okay, here's, here's me. There's these, here's my songs. Right. Because I don't, I'm terrified of grossly misrepresenting myself and I've written some dumb ass songs, y'all that I would, you know, they're just not me.

They're definitely this other person or yeah, this one's good for this other person, but. I know. I wish Corey would give me one joke he has right now, but he's selfish. I was about to say there's a, there's a large, uh, parallel here between there's some stuff that I'll ride or hill rider or tray rides and it's like that's good but that ain't me you know I don't you could get away with that better

or hear the tag or whatever and so I have always thought that was interesting like how you know the sign give it away Jamie Johnson did and uh fuck it what George Strait reported or whatever I always wondered if that was like a of course I'm going to sell it to George Strait

I'll make a million dollars or if he had if he kind of played Tug of War with it a little bit like god damn that's a good one and that's really personal. I don't know whether I'm going to do that or not. But at a certain point, you've got to pay rent. Have you ever had that where there was a song or you're like,

I don't know if this one's mine or somebody else's? Yeah, I mean, I definitely have songs that are super, super personal to me and that I feel like quit it. Like when somebody's like, oh, I want to cut that. I mean, there was an independent artist in Texas who's incredible. Her name's Lindsay Harding. and she's great vocalist and she was real young at the time

and my friend that I wrote this song with and he's like you were describing Corey how you just feel like no we have that connection and we just get each other and it just happens I wrote this song with a friend of mine like that and he pitched a handful of songs to her and she was like yeah I want to cut all of them

and one of those songs was like super personal like just i mean one of the first songs i wrote about tearing you know dissolving my marriage and you know my kids lives changing and here's this young girl who's not married doesn't have kids you know but um i let that i let that happen and she did well with it like she she did a good job with it i mean so so there's no part of you can be like well you can do it and then i'll cut it too yeah i was curious about that Because I know Daryl Scott cut. Didn't he cut Great Day to Be Alive

Years after Travis Tritt? No, no, he wrote. He wrote. I know, but I'm saying didn't he also get to put it on a record? Oh, yeah, he did put it on record. He let Travis Tritt do it. And he has his... I should have said Travis Tritt cut out.

Yeah. And there's a fourth verse that Travis Trick cut out that Darrell Scott does on there. Can you do something like that? Yeah, I mean, I could do that all day long. There's a song right now that somebody sent me a message about and about recording. And it's one of the first times in my... life when I was just like, yeah, I don't feel like I'm going to give that song to anybody. Now, of course, there is the, I might possibly be a total horror aspect of that.

And if somebody said, I'm going to pay you a large sum of money. And I would like to cut this song that's incredibly personal to you. I would probably be like, where do I sign? Right. But you got kids to worry about. So, yeah. Yeah. I mean, exactly.

Yeah, I disparaged my family in a book because they paid me money. So, you know, I totally understand it. Yeah, I mean. Change the names, though. Yeah, I did. I have someone to change the names. Yeah. I mean, I'm not worried about, I think in that situation, you end up, I think what makes

you be wrapped up in, no, I don't want anybody to do this, is like, it's mine. It applies to me. I'm going to tell this story. Like, no, I'll tell it. You just didn't happen to you. Right. This didn't happen to you. It happened to me.

But at the end of the day, it's, I hate when people say at the end of the day. No, I hear you, but it's fucking true of it. Yeah. You know. when it's all said and done what you need, what the point in singing a song to anyone else ever is to share that experience

and to be relatable as a human being and you know, the songs that I've written and I wrote them thinking this is just, I don't know where this is you know, where this is going to go but this, here it is, it's done. And I felt like nobody's ever going to relate to this or want to hear it. I'm going to play this and people are going to go,

what? I have noticed. what that's about. Those are the songs that people end up walking up to me after the show about, and they're like, I just, I get it. And then they tell me this big, long story about why they relate to it that is night and day different than what happened to me that made me write it. But in whatever, you know, whatever tone that song hits, even though it's different ingredients, it comes up with the same product for them.

So here's, I think, a good segue. We're always trying to segue smoothly here on the well-read podcast. You just said people come. up to you and they talk about relating to you and sometimes it surprises you how and why. You said to us last night that our show was like listening to your childhood. I'm curious which parts and why you said that. Oh gosh. Obviously there's the small town aspect, so there's like a lot of jokes.

You don't have to mention certain jokes. I'm just curious about your background and why it is. I think the dysfunctionality of it. Just so. She just saw my ass bumble up there. Of course, were you at the second show or the first show? 9.45. Oh, so you saw me fall on stage right during the meeting.

You know what? It's interestingly enough, I'm blind in this eye. And so all I got was like a kind of a plump, like tumble, tumble sound. Yeah, I heard it. And then, you know, like, okay, well, Corey. You're like, God, I'm home. Oh, I didn't get to see it because of my thing. But I'm just saying it may seem like I'm asking you to comment on our show.

I'm more curious though. What is it about your life that you were recognizing? Well, from the very first time I heard one of Trey's rants, I was like, I wonder if I'm related to him. And like I'm tempted to ask all three of you, are you absolutely positive that your father is your father? Yeah. Because, I mean. You should see the way we stand with our shirts off and how we yell at people. He is definitely my father.

Oh, well, again, are you sure? I mean. Now you think he's your daddy? I don't know. He didn't work for the railroad traveling, but he didn't make it to Texas. I kind of want, well, Texas, Oklahoma, wherever people weld stuff. I don't know. But, yeah, just the dysfunctionality of it and the acceptance of that dysfunctionality as normal.

Right. Like, everybody has their own normal. But there are pockets in, you know, regions, especially in the South. where a lot of people share a lot of those common normals. Like, yeah, I mean, sometimes my daddy smacks my mom across the room or whatever. Or sometimes my friend's daddy will, you know, do this weird set of bullshit that, like, how in the world is that normal? Like, he only had eight beers today. That's, is he all right?

I mean. I had an uncle who was on the wagon or pinched girls rear ends in the family or whatever. Like, he had married in the family. wasn't related to him by blood or whatever and it just everyone just accepted it yeah yeah now i'd punch him in the yeah my step pap god i've never you know what and you know what this is something about like people make excuses for that kind of thing there's a generation where he stopped like i remember the first time i brought my wife over and i was like it like hit me and i said oh shit you know i was like to my mom i was like pulled her aside i was like i think i'm going to have to hit him if he does that

someone should warn him or whatever and you know what in retrospect maybe someone did but i like there was a generation and it's because he could just sense you can't get away with that shit with these girls yeah he knew who to fuck you are he knew what time it was well and and he's pretty right i just thought of something god this is about to this about to freak you out i haven't even thought about this in years i had a step pap hall and his whole thing was every year at christmas he would hug her by and lick the inside of their ear oh for that's like no no no i don't do so anyway that's what it's like for you growing up i'll do any of that were you uh was it a religious household No. No. No. No. Why is that funny? Because it was like you guys were the outliers because it wasn't a religious house of?

Well, kind of, when I was really little, we went to the Church of Christ, which scared the living shit out of me. Which is their whole goal. I ain't got no music. Scared me. Scared me to death. Yeah, I didn't understand that. Nobody does. That made no sense to me. But I'm still fucking don't. I was scared of the preacher. Even God's confused about that one. Yeah, I mean, I was scared of the preacher. He's like, please fucking angels got trumpet. Y'all ain't ever heard the goddamn. Yeah. that's their thing they have instruments right uh no instruments yeah you stand up and you sing

hymns out of the hymnal that's that's the end of it but no we we weren't at all um but we did go we attended the church of christ when i was little like four five years old okay um and that was pretty much it and and um you know we were people that we were related to you know we're all about some church and there was always god vacation bible school yeah kill me all your friends Like, Like, well, no,

and oddly enough, the whole idea of getting saved, I didn't really experience that. Yeah, that's why we brought you here today until,

we were wanting to talk to you about your soul. I'm kidding. Yeah, just when you think school couldn't suck any worse. Let's ruin it.

The first word. Bullshit. Yeah, let's throw vacation in there, really get them in the goddamn door. God. Lord God.

Yeah, I mean, it's deceiving. It's vacation Bible school. Like, Oh, but yeah, that's the way to make. Did your vacation Bible school have the, I wanted to ask you this too,

because this might be just a weird fucking where I'm from thing. Did y'all have the, you know, you brought in an offering or whatever, and there was a contest between the boys and the girls? No. That's, I knew it. No. In hindsight, I actually remember. I actually remember it being fucked up to me as a kid,

which I kind of, you know, I got a lot of trouble with the church because about round nine, I was just going, something ain't right. This is fucking bullshit, man. I don't know about this. It was, it was eight for me, but it was less like, hey, why are we taking money? It was more like, what do you mean? Everybody's going to hell.

No, no, that was very scared. That was when it started for me, too. It was like, but then like, yeah, it was the boy, you'd all line up. And they, dude, oh my God, they were scales. Like, one was the boys side, one was the girl side. And every day you'd bring off. But then we came up with this scheme of the boys. We were like, now, it's less money, but pennies way more and you can get a lot more.

So there was two things that, well, there's a lot. well, there's a weight contest and there's how much you actually bring contest. And at the end of the vacation Bible school that the boys donated this amount of money and the girls do this and you get like a regular Oreo instead of an off-bram one or something like that. Oh my gosh. They were just manipulating kids. Dude. That's gross. I'm, I'd gone around.

Probably. Well, no, no, I was going to say just one of the biggest tragedies of vacation Bible school. And really every church I ever went to was they give you cookies or something like that with juice. I know. That's psychotic. That is psychotic. There's something wrong. Like double sugar?

How do you? No, it's not milk. Yeah. How do you, it's like, this is a crunchy, strange chocolate chip cookie that may or may not have actual chocolate in it. But with some. With fruit punch. Juice.

Kool-Aid. Yeah, no, it wasn't Kool-Aid. It was fruity. Something, something fruity. It was purple drank. And that was another thing that pissed me off. What flavor do you want? Purple or blue.

We're eating off-brand Oreos, off-brand Kool-Aid. And God damn it, we just bought a thousand pennies from home. Like, we got it. You know what I mean? we got it right super ridiculous so when did you start going to the church um i learned i think i've learned my lesson pretty much about um all of that uh i was about uh 17 years old and i had i'd been dating this i'd been dating this boy and his family was pentecostal yeah yeah well my brother's gay okay and um they were talking in particular about you know well well

Oh, that's a shame. Boy, it's just a shame. Well, it was just too bad. Yeah. And it was, I was just like, you know, I just, there's just no way. I don't think God is that mean. And if he is, who, why would you want that? Like, why would you be like, well, you're kind of a dick, but I'm on board.

All right. Stephen Frye said that. I was 17. Yeah. Yeah, Stephen Frye said that once. He's like, I don't think there's a God, but if there is, I don't want to fucking meet him. Like, that guy's either not qualified. qualified or a goddamn lunatic.

Right. That's kind of how I feel. Right. I mean, there's just so many things about it that bothered me. The money bothered me in the first place. I mean, what y'all are talking about,

just that bothers me. The guilt, all of the shaming these poor kids and, you know, believing that before they were ever even, before they actually existed in physical form on earth, that you have somehow sinned. You are wrong.

Automatically the second you get here. You hit daylight and you're like, I'm wrong, I'm bad and terrible. Somebody's got to die in my place. It's unbelievable. They said this to me, and I know they said it to you and really fucked me up. They were like, you weren't born yet, but when Jesus was up there on the cross, he was thinking of you. And he was dying for you. And I'm sitting there like, and I see the pictures of stuff.

I'm like, he did that for me? Why? You know, goddamn that's fucked up. But like, that's a shit ton to put on a child. I know this is not a hot take, but good Lord, man. No, I mean, and you're doing this. Yeah, I mean, and that was the sickest part of it to me is you're doing this to little, little, little kids, and you're making things that are not, I mean, it is, it's, I hesitate to use this word.

I'm going to use it anyway, because I love words, but it is a perversion. You're attaching this terrible meaning to things that really aren't bad, like little boys hugging and kissing each other. My son was two years old. and he was visiting this other, we were visiting some friends, and we were leaving, and he gave their little boy who was his same age a hug, and they kissed each other on the mouth because their children. And their mom was like, no, no, no, puts her hand between them and pulls them apart and says, no, no, no, we don't kiss boys.

We don't do that. And it was just like. Yeah, but they kids. Why are we perverting this, you know, this innocent display of affection? Why are we? It's weird the things that, like that's, I don't know, man. I just never understood like, when you're, when you're that age and your dog dies, your parents won't even tell you, they'll tell you it went to a farm or something like that.

But they're totally fine would tell you, hey, that, you know, remember that nice guy we learned about in church? He got his ass whoop and nailed to a board because of you. Right. Okay. Fuck. Right. Right. So you were aware at 19 of that.

Not only aware of it, you were already like, fuck that. I'm sorry, at 17. Right. What about politics in that part of Texas? Oh, gosh. That for me, that has. been kind of strange. I was really late.

I was really late to the party on all of it. Late to the party. That was terrible. I was too. I mean, I thought I was a Republican. And this is why I thought I was a Republican. Okay, I thought I was an independent. Because you lived in Texas? Because I'm, yeah, because I live in Texas and I talk like this.

But I was working, it was before I started playing music and I was working at a phone company in Allen, Texas. this and a friend of mine was talking about the election or the president or whatever and she's like well are you a republican or a democrat and I was like uh I don't know she's like okay well here and she was like so do you believe in like second amendment and I was like what the fuck is that and she's like you know owning gun like should you own a gun I was like oh yeah I mean okay people I mean which for me meant yeah this was you know 2000 or so and I was like I mean yeah I mean, my dad goes money.

Yeah. Dad's got guns. Yeah. So I was like, yeah, okay. And she's like. That's also where we're not the most liberal people either. We're like, yeah, fucking I. Yeah, I mean, so there was that.

And it was like, and like you leaving like supporting the military. And I was like, well, I mean, yeah. I mean, what kind of shitty person doesn't want to, yeah, you know. And so she's, okay, so you're a Republican. That's hilarious. And I was like, God, that's so funny. I mean, it was like, you pick up a, yeah, I mean, it was like, it was like, sexing cats.

Like you pick them up by the tail and go, oh, yeah, you're that because of this one thing that I see. And I was like, oh, clearly I'm a Republican. That and the brushing each other's teeth lines. That's some shit. Yeah, it's amazing. A great songwriter. Some good metaphors.

You can turn a phrase. Let me tell you what you are to start doing it. You ever written? Yeah. I know you sing, but do you write. I'm thinking about giving it a shot, honestly. I'm going to buy, I'm going to buy

an actual piece of paper and I'll leave here today. Yeah. I'll get you a pen. We have some. To write. Yeah, I'm going to try to inspire you. Write something down. Corey, she's continuing the bit and you're blowing it somehow. I was going with it.

I was doing the bit. No, you weren't. Yes, I was. You don't know shit. I'm Annie Kaufman in you right now. Okay. Well, like with him, I'm very annoyed. So when did that?

It died. It died about the same time my marriage died, I think. my to my ex-husband. It's funny because your life's starting to sound like a Dixie Chick song. Sure. Yeah. I mean, it's, it was very much like, I think this is who I am. I think this is who I am because this is, you know,

I thought I knew myself as a lot of people in their 20s. You think you know who you are. And then you wake up one day and go, oh, that's not me at all. And thank God. I mean, I'm so glad that I'm not who I was 10 years ago. And I'm glad as hell that I'm not who I was 10 years. before that because that dumb bitch she'd be dead right now i mean you can't live like that oh i know that's right just just walk through life dumb as a box so but yeah um just little things that kept

happening and it's all my heart pulling at me you know in the same way i would imagine like when people say well the lord spoke to me i just i prayed about it and it no my own conscience was you know speaking to me like in the Pentecostal church when they were like, well, hell, too bad, you're a good guy, too bad he's going to hell. You're like, all right, well, that's done. Yeah, no, it's, that can't be true because, no, it just can't be true. So I reject that. And then, you know, the next things that come along, um, wait,

our president is almost illiterate at some points. He is literally making up words that don't exist in our language. Why am I, why, why, why is this okay? I can't. I can't. Oh, wait, that's repub... Oh, yeah, that's not me at all. So as I gradually learned how those things affected me, you know, like any selfish bastard on earth, you just kind of glaze over something until it affects you directly. And then you go, oh, yep. That's around the same time in American history for me, because I was like, I'm an independent. Like, I'm an independent thinker and I don't want to be with a party. And I'm still, like,

I'm probably more of a Democratic socialist than a Democrat at this point. But I was like, yeah, I mean, and then I was traveling abroad and Bush kept talking and he kept bombing and he kept talking. At some point, I was like, no, man, I'm not him. Like, I'm not independent. I'm the other team. Mine was, I was like, A, I didn't care what I was. Like, you know, I didn't live my life. Obviously, in Chickamauga, all white, decent amount of money there.

There was no problems. lived in this little bubble. Facebook wasn't there, so I didn't see everything that was going on the world all the goddamn time. Certain of shit didn't watch the news. I only watched sports.

So again, you were a 17 year old kid. Exactly. Right. So the thing... Who wasn't poor or... Right. You know, black.

I too also assumed that I was a Republican just based on... I think you are at that point, really, if you think about it. Oh, yeah. Right, right.

But I just fucking didn't know. I was like, whatever. The thing that changed me, because I did... At that point, I was like, Yeah, Republican, liberal.

They're all the same. You know, everybody's good or whatever. People that vote and stuff. When Barack Obama ran. And I saw the true colors of some of these people. No shit. Because they'd never had to yell things at a black man that was running for president because it ain't happened yet.

Right. So I didn't. There's a lot of people that, I mean, I'd heard them make jokes or whatever, but I didn't really know, oh, my God, you just, that's why you don't like that guy. And it's very evident. And they would say terrible things. And again, I was like, whatever they are, I'm the other one, and I don't give a shit, what else that entails?

I ain't fucking that, and I'm not being associated with it. I don't care, not doing it. I think that's always a big part of the process of figuring out who you are as a human being is finding out who you're not. Right. Like, you go through, no, not that. No, that's not me at all. That's not me.

I feel like I've gone too far in that direction, though, in my life. Because me and I've talked about it before, and I try to make it a bit, and I couldn't. There's sometimes where, like, well, the example, I, I always go to is because what you're basically saying is let spite guide your life to a certain extent. And I have gone too far in that direction. Because the example I always come up with, you know those like leather armbands and some people have leather armband watches or whatever that guys wear Keith Urban. We brought him up. He wears them alone. Oh yeah. I love those things, but I hate everybody who wears one so I won't let myself own one. And I say, well,

that's a sickness at that point, Drew. Yeah. There's something wrong with you. But I don't think in politics, there's a version of that. Like, it's good to just run away from what you hate. Oh, yeah. Yeah, without any of it. I mean, I wish that I was more, I don't know whether I'm more completely behind the liberal and democratic party or if I'm just so against the GOP.

I can't tell if I'm really like, yeah, we got to dig in. Or if I'm just like, God, fuck them. I hope they all burn. I think that makes sense. I think I'm the latter of those two. Yeah, me too. Because I really just wish I didn't give a shit. Yeah.

You wish you were an aisle? It was easier. Yeah. I've always thought that there are anonymous in the world, but that most people who say they're niless, it's just laziness. If you just have to say it, you ain't in that regard. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I posed that the other day.

Like, if you're out here claiming to be a nilus, you clearly aren't because you obviously believe in yourself. Okay, yeah, yeah. Way too much. Yeah, for sure, man. Yeah. Well, God damn, Heather, we're about at the hour mark, so we'll wrap it up here.

But this has been fantastic. I always said we were going to do 25 or 30, and then I just didn't even tell y'all what time. time it was because that was going fantastic. So, Heatherlittlemusic.com, correct? Heatherlittlemusk.com, that's got my show schedule. It's normally in Texas. Now and again, I'll jump out somewhere else.

We've got fans in Texas. I'm going to plug them right now. December 5th, you are in Perk, Texas at Tanner J. Harris Memorial. Doing the Tanner J. Harris Memorial concert. That's right. December 7th, you're going to be in Fort Worth at Chief Records. Yes. The 8th, you are in, now, let's see.

see here. Minola. Okay. You got your calendar memorized. I don't know where the fuck we're going next week. I mean, they'll hear me say it at the beginning of this podcast, but I'll be reading that someday.

Mineola, is that an Indian word? Yes. And then at the Espinosa Music Academy. So you can go to heatherlittlemusk.com and buy tickets. And where can we grab your album on Heatherlittle. It's actually iTunes. Okay. iTunes right now is the place for that.

What was the name of your last record? It's called Wings Like These Wings like these right on Yeah I was listening to it The other day I think I tagged you on Instagram Or something I was hammered And it's the best time

I live in the country music Without a doubt And so good stuff And thank you so much Man thank you for having me Absolutely and we'll have this posted on Wednesday So tell your friends I love the shit out of y'all

I just appreciate you And we're gonna have Before we close out the show We're gonna actually have a guest skew This is a long time listener of ours That you didn't hear Because she's by the grace of God shut the fuck up the entire time.

It is. If you could have appeals or cries for silence, I think that would, that was impressive. Paige, say what you just said. You don't want to say it to the mic now? All right, that's fine. Well, so the guest skewer is none other than Trey Crowder's own little sister. You've heard us talk about her on the podcast and refer to her many times. So ladies and gentlemen, the guest skewer is page.

Croutter. All right, everybody. We've had a good time. We'll see you next week. Scoot. This song's called, it's called Looking for Me. And I wrote it a long time ago,

and I told my grandma, I felt really old when I wrote this, and she called me a jackass. And then she followed that out by, damn, you're getting a hole. So, anyway, it's called looking for me. There's a slipping sliding, so much you want what you found.

Hot damn, Heather Little, everybody. Thank you so much. God, that was fire. Thank you all for listening to the well-read show. We'd love to stick around longer, but we got to go. Tune in next week if you got nothing to do. Thank you, God bless you, good night and skew.