wellRED podcast - #5 - The Legendary George Wallace

Episode Date: March 8, 2017

How do you even begin to describe George Wallace? The sheer fact that we have become friends with him is kind of too much for us to handle. He's been in a Cohen Brother's movie (One of the greatest duos of all time), He's been on Seinfeld (One of the greatest sitcoms of all time), and he played THE MAYOR OF GOTHAM CITY in Batman Forever (Do we even have to hype up Batman?) More importantly (to us, at least) he is one of the greatest stand-up comedians of all time. In his 40+ year career, he has worked every room, every theatre, and every casino you can imagine, all the while inspiring many legendary comedians we still enjoy today. We sat down with George in the showroom at The Legendary Punchline in Atlanta, Georgia - where George lives today.We discuss his start in comedy, his business ventures, his insanely talented family, and of course, the conversation steers in the direction of our current political landscape. Before the interview begins of course, we recorded an hour long intro in a hotel in Burbank. Drew and Corey had just gotten off of a plane from the east coast, so the conversation jet-lagged its way to the Russian scandal, Ben Carson's recent word fart about slavery, Alex Jones, and Trae's recent trip across the border.  Enjoy the podcast, and go to wellREDcomedy.com for tickets to our shows, merch, our monthly newsletter, and to grab a copy of our book: The Liberal Redneck Manifesto; Draggin Dixie Outta The Dark. Skeeeeewww

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion, because used to you, you like had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

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Yeah, so that was money. What was that in response to? What was that a reply gift for? Just when I did something stupid. Something fat, I think, and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first, but then I quit using it and was still paying for it and forgotten.

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slash well read and we thank them for sponsoring this episode of the podcast they're the well well that that would not have held all right welcome back welcome back to the well red podcast this is week what four five five this is week five five five four origins Sarah's about origins Mary Wilcher and then we did one by

and then Charleston chicken Charleston chicken but I'm welcome back to you Trey oh yeah thank you

yes I did as I teased last week I did go to Porte Varta with the old lady for a nice

Mexico weekend and I had said last week I've been to Mexico twice before did not enjoy it either time now that I'm not a

like 22-year-old frat-boy douchebag, and I'm an actual adult, and I had an adult vacation. I actually enjoyed it. It was a very, very white, very white married couple vacation. You know what I mean? We're at this resort in Porto Vallarta.

We went and, you know, zip lining and the beach and all that good shit. It was fun, though. But I just realized that I sincerely am hearing all this for the first time. Like, I haven't talked to you about this trip at all. So you don't even listen to the intros when you be putting them on the? No, I listen to the trip that you, but I haven't, since you've been back from this trip. Oh, right.

Yes, I just got back. You're almost getting raped. I mean, I'm talking. I just got back Sunday nights. I mean, you know, I know, but usually. But you have fun? Did you go zip line? So she, she was with a.

You don't look like a zip liner. Usually, I'm afraid of heights. I'm not a zip liner. But it was, it was awesome, scary, but awesome. But she, so yeah, it was like a work trip for her through this. She sells limelight It's makeup and all the top sellers She sells makeup on the internet

She sells makeup on red creed Exactly And it was for all the time Right after The videos went viral When we were still looking at comments Because there weren't a million of them And that dude

Looked up your wife It kind of weirded this out Yeah Because it was the bathroom issue And he was like maybe I'll see your wife In the bathroom And then he goes And by the way she sells makeup on the internet

What kind of redneck's wife sells makeup on the internet? the internet. It was like all of them. Yeah. All of her in the bathroom, you'll come out with the most sparkling fucking eyelashes than you ever seen in your wife.

Well, yeah, I had a bloody, you know, stumbling where she got at you, but that is one of the most, just selling anything that ain't, so a thing is the most redneck thing. Like, most people, it's tuckerware. Right. Or that was how it kind of starts to talk about. Avon.

Avon, Mary Kay. That was the staples when I was, well, Mary Kay was, that's core reason. You know, so socioeconomic class. Our bombs. Well, my mom saw Avon. No, we had Abe.

Eric Kay, A bomb pills. I'm pointing out. hilarious. Mary K, I'm Avon and Trace Pills. I don't know literally anything about makeup at all, but my understanding

is this is like the company that made it originally is called Alcombe, which all they used to do is like whatever. Not industrial, not like professional grade make, not like commercial.

Industrial makeup. You can't put I know that's wrong word. You know what I mean. Like, that's what they put on Smokey to Bear. Yes. Smoky's Bear's makeup. Alconne specializing.

Fuck Alcombe. You mean like, I don't know, like, CERC de Salé makeup? I guess, yeah. And now, I test shit. And LimeLide is there like for the peasants, for the regular people. And that's what my wife sells. And it was, this was a trip. We went down there for free because she was one of like top sellers wherever,

Go, baby, go. And so we studied at this All Inclusive Resort for free. which was, you know, that hits. So I thought I was like some Trump scheme to get you on the other side of the wall. Right. Like I thought it was like some fucking trick tray to go to Mexico

and then he can't get back in because he has dark air. Multiple Mexicans said over the course of the weekend that asked me where I'm from. And I say, well, I live in California, Southern California. And that like three or four different people

were like, oh, right, the wall or right on the other side of the wall or whatever. And me as a gringo down there, I'm like, yeah, sorry. I don't know what to say to that. I don't like it either. And if they know anything about our stereotypes, they heard the way you talk. They look at the fact that her wife sold makeup and they were like, well, this dude wanted it built.

Exactly. No, that's what I, that's how I interpreted it. They didn't say it in a shitty way, but in my mind, I was like, I'm sure they don't think that I'm on board. Yeah. You were at a Mexican resort on a makeup trip. A golf course on it. I mean, yeah, exactly.

Mexican ships, we get it. I do. But, uh, Mexican's just a stray. They're racist. They're racist to get straight. No, what, the people that they deal, you know, we're not sending our best down there, boys. Of course not. No, that's like just a step above cruises.

Yeah, right. Yeah. That's really close to resort. Literally what Trump said about the, well, that's the joke. I know. Okay, you right. Thank you for. You didn't.

elucidized that for the audience, though. I appreciate that. I thought you're just being sincere. Are you right? Well, I am. But, you know, it was also a joke, too. Anyway. I've been on a plane for 12 goddamn hours.

You jet lagged. I am. So, who you're back, but. Anyway, the only thing, I'm back. It's fun. I have one interaction I thought was interesting, and this could potentially get pretty deep, but we probably won't have that deep into it.

But I did go ziplining. One of the zipline. the Zipline tour guides Mexican feller by the name of Raphael. Okay, Raphael de Zipline Tour guide. That's his job. Donatello? Really?

Don't tello is my guy. That's my dog. I know that everybody thinks that's weird that I like Donna Taylor. He was the smart one. I know. The smart people think it's a fat one, so it always checked out for me. I like Michelangelo.

He was the show. I like him all. He's the show. He's the show, but they're in a shudyny one in the bunch. I just always liked Donatello. My brother would like Raphael. and he ended up in prison. And I think there's correlation there.

Sure. I think I can see that, yeah. So, Raphael, the tour guide. This is his whole job, dude. It used to be a Ninja Turtle. Yeah, I was actually wondering, he's a tour guide for ziplines. What's that mean?

He takes gringoes up into the mountains down there. Oh, you've got, like, walk a ways up and zipline through the jungle? And also, they, and you ride Raphael, because they don't have a donkey anymore. Now, they, you can ride, actually, you do ride don't. Well, I was kidding. Do you ride donkeys at the end of it. it, Corrick.

Yeah. But they, they're up there, they catch you. They hook you up, and they catch you. Because, I mean, dude, you're coming in hot.

And like, these people don't. That tool that slows you down or whatever. Yeah, they operate all that. They operate all that shit. Because, you know, it looks like a meat cleaver.

They can't, they can't just trust fucking fat Americans to go down there and know how to zip line proper. That would shit. I wouldn't either. Somebody would splat into a tree and then have a lawsuit on their hands. Right. So that's what they do. That's their job.

But it's, their whole job. is up in this beautiful mountains just ziplining and shit all day, right? Okay, so that's what this guy

does for a living. He asked me what I did for a living. He's like, hooking me up. You know, like, I'm about to go

and ask what I did for a living. I was like, I'm a comedian. And he goes, like, oh, you're a comedian.

He's like, maybe you can show me how to be happy for once. What? And I was like, and he said that. And I was like, no,

yo soy Pagliachi You know what I mean? I was like, dude, no, we have more trouble with that than anybody. And he was like, ah-ha. And then he just pushed me. And I left. And that was it. But it made me think, like.

He shoved you off a mountain? Yeah, after he said that. And he said that. He's going, do y'all still have rice, beans and cheese? That'll work. But, right. That's like this thing. You know, and he was young, too.

Like, if he'd been like a 40-year-old, whatever I could see, like, oh, he's not fulfilled. But this guy's, like, how one, that's his job. And it's like, man, you're in paradise doing this. You're getting paid for it or whatever. And it just goes to show you. You're fucking married women who shall make up all the time. How you can be fucking. You know what?

Anywhere. Like anywhere, anything. I do have no matter what, no matter who you are. One interesting turn here. Is it possible that this is a lost in translation thing? Can you make me happy? He meant, can you make me laugh? No, I doubt it.

Because he looked you right in your eyes when he said. Well, no, all the tour guides. All the tour guys, I mean, they were Perfectly good English Yeah, like barely even had accents, you know? But still, not like he didn't know the word for laugh, but just like in terms of, yeah, I don't know. I just wanted to believe that Raphael didn't want to kill himself.

I was on your team for a second. I was like he probably said a thing that was... I really don't play so. But I believe you too. That sucks. I guess part of the reason I went there is do people believe comedians make you happy anywhere? Is that what people believe?

hour. Yeah, well, that's kind of the thing. That's like the thing that people say. All the stuff that you just said about that guy's life is like, hey, he's up there in this paradigm. But he also has to spend all day strapping fat pieces of shit like you to a cable. Yeah, he also works at a theme park, basically, Tray. Yeah, I guess I could say it.

Yeah. Like, if you were at Dollywood and some dude said that, I don't think you'd be like, damn, this dude's putting kids on log rides all day. I can't believe he's sad. I hear y'all, but think about, again, he's this super young. dude who's in Mexico and that's his

job like he you know he's not he's doing better than other people well I think we have just discovered that depression is a disease that can affect anyone no I know that's why it was impactful I'm saying

I was saying that because I'm thinking about that the whole time you were sipline literally that sucks he said that about halfway through but definitely on that particular trip I was just playing back like god Damn, man. I know you know that. I only said it because I know how the comment section is going right now. Right.

Oh, yes. No. That's why I went ahead and brought that up right now. Yeah, we know. We're comedians. We know it's a disease. Yeah, that's the whole point of the story. I hate how we're thinking about that in advance.

But, yeah, I was also thinking about that. Okay. So, anyway, honestly, that's really the only truly, you came back. Noteworthy thing from the trips. Yeah, we've had some. Well, hold on. Wait. And we'll get into all that.

here's something I was thinking about on the trip and immediately I was like I want to talk to Gordon Drew about this because I don't know that anybody else will really feel away about it the way that I felt. This is a dirty, terrible fault. No, no, it's just ridiculous. The whole thing's ridiculous. I woke up.

You ever wake up with a random song in your head? Boner? Oh. Totally random. They might random. I bet a thousand when it comes to sleep boners. I wrote a Southern rock Christian song in a dream the other night and Andy moved and woke me up and I could remember some of it at the time. That is. I wrote and I had a dream of the night that Eminem, like this wasn't a music video,

but like Eminem. From the commercial or the rapper? No, the rapper. Okay. He'd be dreaming about Eminem's too. Without a doubt. He turned into this just like, you know the, you know the Power Rangers, the dude that was the head?

Yes. Zordon. Zorloft or Zoloff or Zoloff. Zolov. Anyways. I think it was Zordon I think

that might be wrong anyways in my dream Eminem turned into that and instead of just like you buy Eminem's new album he just stays

floating around the earth rapping at random people and I woke and I woke up rapping this Eminem song that I had made up and it was like it was awful

but anyways so yeah I wasn't as good as he was I wasn't expecting that I expect you to be like and it was fire I don't remember any of it

it it played it You know, I think the dreams aren't. The part of it that dream was fine, but then I just woke up to look. Blu-da-low-da-d-da-d-d-d-d-d. But you meant random, like, an actual song. Real songs. That happens to me all the time.

Okay. If I wake up still in REM, which is a lot, again, depression is disease, so the anxiety. Sincerely, 9 out of 10 mornings, I wake up with a song in my head, and half the time it's strange, and I haven't heard in a long time. So it is. I am. So, so. Yeah.

So the other day On the trip That happened to me And it was Indian outlaw By Tim McGraw Right And so

You ever heard the original That he sampled? What? I've done this four times in my life You're about to debunk This whole story That's the entire basis Of what I'm about to say

I think So maybe let me finish And you tell me where that's coming from And I was just think of that song And how utterly ridiculous it is And then I remembered, and I know I'm not making this up. I know that I heard this story, but that don't mean it's true.

But I heard it like on TV, like either on E True Hollywood Story or CMT's version behind the music or whatever. I heard the story that Tim McGraw, when he was, before he was anything, he like finagled his way into some big record exec's office. Just TV from the block. Yeah. And he, you know, like somehow got in there without a. even supposed to be there. And he laid down Indian outlaw for him

in the office right in front of him. And the, and the exec was like, this guy's a, this kid, he's a stop. You know? And a walk the line was about him. But like, I started thinking about how hilarious and ridiculous that is that, like, to think that it, and again, and he was right. The thing is he was right.

But it's so funny to think that he was like, this is it this his song is so transcendent and undeniable that if I get in this office I've got it like he pinned it all on Indian outlaw

that song was so awful and blatantly racist I know but dude you know what you know what redneck's love more than country music pretending they're Indians and that's both I mean yeah that's a fucking knockout The village chieftain was my papa. Yeah.

She made him walk the line. Yeah, she made him walk the line. Oh, but I just mentioned it. So, like, right. I know, again, he was correct. He was right. But that's so fucking funny to me. It is funny.

About the mindset of like, nobody can say no to this. So you guys, I'm an in-d-a-n-all. Have Cherokee. You guys remember the bridge. Corey, you already sang it, where it goes, boom, boom, boom, boom. And he goes, Cherokee

That is a sample For me So just that part Cherokee So proudly That song is a sample From a song I had to look up

Because I couldn't remember The name of the band It's called Indian Reservation It's by Paul Revere And the hold on Oh shit Paul Revere in the I know that band

And the Raiders Yeah Paul Revere and the Raiders What was their big What was their big fucking hit I believe it was Indian Reservation Now I'm saying this But I didn't know that

So there's had to be one That this will win goddamn producer. We need somebody to look up as shit. I keep just pointing there. I remember that. But yeah, but for you back, because is it kicks?

Or just like me? It may be one of them where if I had, I don't know the title and I said to hear it and I'm an idiot. I'm also just out thinking about the fact that a lot of our fans, if, you know, our interactions with him for any indication probably don't know the song Indian outlaw, maybe.

Please. Dave blogged about it. Please look at. up if you haven't heard it. And again, think about a young, stars in his eyes, want a big country singer. Believing that a song with the lyrics, I can kill a deer or buffalo with just my heroin at Hickory Bow.

From a hundred yards, don't you know, I do it all the time. I do it all the time. Was he able to see a medicine man? He's like, drove me around by my hip band. He called running water in my hand, which I think was meant to be. An Indian woman's name.

No. Caught running water in his hands. How hell, maybe there is layers to that song. Who knew? I never picked up on that one. Yeah, racist layers. Dude, it's so racist onions. It makes you cry one single tear.

Dude, if you ask somebody, stereotypically, give me, think about Indians, and give me the first 15 words that come to mind. Well, the first two were they actually. called Native American. Every single one of those words is in this song. It's literally just Indian Stereo Bingo. It is. That's all

it is. It's like that Alabama song that is southern stereotype bingo that made me... That broke my heart. Memo to the core. We support her truth for. That's another real song. You guys should look up if you want to be heartbroken. If you love Alabama like I did, because of the South and... Dixie Land Delight, then look up

this song and have your heartbroken. was it called for you Southern draw Everything's better Everything's better With a southern draw I feel about I feel about

I feel about the band Alabama The same way as I felt about Tom I'm like I saw this shit coming I don't know why y'all are so goddamn blind I'm at the second

I was I'm just way more impressed with the Alabama mess I mean Dixieland delight man No I don't have a Dixieland Delight son He don't

but like I said We've talked about this a lot dude Dixieland a lot's fucking great Hell I like Saw in the South murder man I know it's awesome

But then like Do you like do So much of their shit I don't have that though Hey, I guess you, he was at home long two, that head? No, what? Home alone, too?

The same thing. And the apprentice's song of the south? What day? Listen, I mean, listen, not as much as he bled and all of me, but the apprentice did crush. I mean, that was a huge goddamn show. Okay. For me, but it was huge. Now, now we're talking about Trump.

No, no. Well, no. We need to. Now that we've segueed, I just, I got to think about that. That's one of those things. It was just cracking me up to think about it. It's like that's a real thing that happened. I just wanted to bring it up to y'all.

It's funny because that song is literally, because I'm just now thinking about it. Because I just didn't like the song really that much. Like, I never thought about it. Like, it's so goddamn racist, then it's not racist. You know, it is. But, like, you don't even, I don't know. I can't explain what I'm trying to say, mainly because I'm dumb.

Because I'm trying to remember the line about it's so. It's so. It's like, okay, but we just don't even count that. It's so overtly a novelty, fucking joke of a song. Sure. Yeah, no one's going to take it seriously. It's like, it's that old Chappelle bit where he's like, you know, in Mississippi, the racism, ponds out in the open.

People just, and like that song literally, it still gets played a million times of day. No one gives a fuck about the Indians. It's wild as hell. The song was a colossal mega fucking man. This is, dude. It was number one on CMT forever because he started the video and it had a white woman. is the star of the video. She did have black curly hair,

but she had blue eyes. And I remember because I would watch it, and my dad would be like, black hair of blue eyes, rare combination, Drew, beautiful woman. Not an Indian at all. I thought that was what your dad was best way.

Not a Cherokee, Drew. No, he didn't even care if she was Cherokee. Listen, I want to just tell you guys some of the lyrics. I was trying to remember the one about my Buffalo briefs. And so I looked it up. Here's an actual lyric from the song. This is again, Tim McGraw went into a record exec's office and saying, You can find me in my wigwam.

Wigwam. I'll be beating on my tom time, pull out the pipe and smoke you some. Hey, and pass it around. Okay, now, before we go any further, as racist as that is, that hits. Well, I don't know what's fading off smoking. As sexist as this one is, but it also hits. They all gather around my teepee. Yeah.

Played at night trying to catch a peek at me in nothing but my. Buffalo briefs. I got them standing in line. Because I'm an Indian out. I'm on the record executive side on this one. If I'd have said it, I've been like, oh, my God, it's at least a ground rule double. We're going to make a million dollars. Yeah, well, I mean, again, that's the thing.

It's entirely. We're both right. And I remember looking this up because that's who I am sometime in college. I've been obsessed with this song for a long time. That's how I found out that that band made the hook for it. I was curious if Cherokee and Choctaw, he's half Cherokee. Like, was that a thing that could have happened? Yeah.

The Choctaw were from the southeastern United States. What about Chippewa's? Because his baby, she's a Chippewa Wall. That is one of a kind. Well, okay. See, there you go. Even if it don't make sense, you've got to give him. She's one of a kind.

He said she's the exception. That proved the rule. He did say she was one of a kind. That is where you get into it. Chippewa wall is. Central Michigan. In Ontario, too. All I know of Chop Tov is literally from the James McMurtary song,

so I know that they've... I'm not even sure Chippewa is... I'm going to... Did he make it? Well, the Battle of Chippewa, it's an Indian word. Right. But I know if it's a tribe. I can't find anything.

Central Michigan's... Not that that makes a difference either, but they're called the Chippewalls. Okay, okay. That's why I said that. Okay, okay. But that doesn't mean it has to be a tribe. That could be what they call, you know, potato nuggets. Yeah, Central Michigan potato nuggets.

No, it's a group. I'm sorry. It's a group. they're called, I'm going to mispronounce it, it says Ojibwe or Chippewa and anyway, they're in Canada I just said Ogibuil's like

where did he meet his baby at the Indian Outlaw Conference? Yeah, yeah Like Cherokee and Chautau, that's Tennessee and below. The Chippewa literally Canada. Okay, to be completely fair to Mr. McGraw right now

like, you know, this is going to be the worst reviewed episode ever. I don't know why you would get that academic with a review of that song. You know what I mean? Like, listen to that song, but you know what?

Some of these facts like checking out. You guys remember we did all those black liver shows? And Kevin Anderson, shout out to Kevin Anderson would do the professor. Yes. Who would review pornographic stories on the internet as a professor? I felt hilarious. I was Professor

McCluckie. Was it the character's name? I would love to see Professor McCluckie A feminist review of Indian outlaw, a communist review of Indian Outlaw, like all the academic reviews. Dude, all that is going to take us next time we're in actual. The couple of little briefs represent how

capitalism is oppressive on men and his genitalia. Next time we're in line, are people in line for bread? Next time we're in Nashville we're doing a podcast with Kevin and making him do that for a fucking hour. None of it. That'll be phenomenal. All right, well. In the news. Yeah, we've got to get to the news.

So you got back from Mexico. Have you caught up? I mean, you were gone for how many days? Four. And me and you were talking. You missed so much. Yeah, and I know we were actually, before Corey got here, we were literally, I was asking you. It was like, okay, there was this, and there was this, and there was this, and there was this.

And I was like, did I miss anything? But there was literally like, so. Well, and we both forgot momentarily one of them. I'm just saying they're going to fill in a man on some shit, too. This was Amber's birthday weekend. I was kind of off the grid. bit. Here's the list, as I know it, in the past, you know, weekish or so, weekish.

We'll call it weekish. The Trump accused Obama of wiretapping his office. Which is the one that you and I thought of last. Sessions, it was like basically proven that he lied, although Drew can get into this little later. He lied about meeting with himself. And he recused himself from all further investigations about the Russia shit. Ben Carson We didn't talk about that one.

Oh my God. It's not news as much as I can't believe he said that. Ben Carson, he basically, he compared slavery to as they were just immigrants coming over looking for a child. He said when the first immigrants came here, they came 245 years ago or however long he said on the bottom of a slave ship. Uh-huh. Like that was them just like, oh, I bet it'll be better looking for a better life. Yeah, and I think he talks about that.

Blake, you were kidding, like being absurd, he said something about dreaming. Shit, it was a nightmare. Yeah. Hoping it was a fucking dream.

Yeah. All right, anyway, keep going. So we did. We got sessions, the claim, wiretap thing, Ben Carson.

Carson, um, Lord. Uh, I still respect the shit out of Ben Carson. Can I just say that? Can we talk about it? that brief.

For his job, yeah. Not just in a long job. Just in, yes, I agree with you, but just in general, like, we talk about Rick Perry, we talk about sessions, he's a fucking nightmare, he's a racist shit show. Carson is probably a narcissist. It seems like, but like,

if he drink, I'd want to get drunk with it. I feel like Rick Perry would be a hell of a, like, athletic director somewhere. No. I would never get, personally, I would never get along with Rick Perry. I know, but I'm saying, like, that dude, he can do some things. I just refuse to believe that, like...

But Sessions' problem isn't that he can't do things. Sure. He's great at him. Sure. He's just evil. Right. He's right. And that's...

I just feel like going after Carson is... On that? What he said about slaves? Absolutely. Because that's... Just generally speaking... I know what you're trying to say, and I agree with it. It's like, look, it ain't his fault that he's put in this position and he's not qualified.

But he accepted the goddamn job, at least with... It is to blame. It is his fault, though. Right. What I was about to say is like... How about a no, Sergeant? He's certain. Apparently, like, if you go to school for that, you're in med school,

and that's your specialty, whatever, they like, he's a God. He's, like, so revered in that community because he's a fucking genius at what he does. And hell yeah, that's amazing. Hats off to him. But, dude, all the other... You're like, oh, if you want to criticize him for that, that's fair. Well, dude. He has brought all that on himself.

No, no, I agree. I'm not defending him in the way of, like, it's fine that he said that. What I'm saying is if you compare the guy that you just described as a god in his field to all of his other appointees, right. Most of them aren't gods at anything. Sure. Or they're gods of being evil like Sessions and Bannon. Right.

And Carson probably ain't shitty. No, I think he's a really sweet dude who's probably a total narcissist. Or fucking autistic. Something's going on. Or fucking autistic If you said, look at him He don't ever make eye contact I mean, he don't ever open his eyes

So that really checks up A lot of geniuses are that way I know, that's why I wasn't like that was like That was like fuck it dude Albert Einstein Here we go No, I'm saying I'm saying I'm not people's autistic

No this story You'll remember it when he says it He brings his shit up all right What is not? What? Robert Einstein's shit on himself? Oh, no, that has nothing to do with me shitting on myself.

What I'm saying is, no it don't, no it don't, no it don't. But he's shit on himself on purpose. That's the difference. I do shit on myself, but on complete accident because I'm a drunken fool. Albert Einstein would be so focused he'd just be sitting there shitting on his damn self, have his walk in and change the goddamn doper.

Something wrong with him, but, like, you know, he won the war. I'm not justified me shitting on myself. He did. I'm not justifying me shit on myself. I do that. He'd already won the war for the record. I know.

That was 10. What I'm saying is, Albert Einstein, without a doubt, genius, but also without a doubt, fucking clearly had some mental issues that, like, contributed to or were just adjacent to it was genius.

All right. Well, anyway, it's amazing that we still haven't gotten through the whole list. What else was it that you got back and had to read about, Trey? So, you hadn't heard this, and I just saw earlier today, but apparently it was originally reported

by the Wall Street Journal, but this blew my mind. Trump met with, the Russian ambassador, like himself personally met with him during his campaign. Right before, like literally right before Trump went out and gave a

speech about foreign policy in which he talked a lot about softening our relationship with Russia. And I was on a plane all day. I have not seen that. And before you told me that, I was not defending sessions at all, but making the point

that we keep getting up in arm without an actual smoking, literal smoking gun here, we keep, you know, turning over the news cycle, well, Jeff Sessions, and it's like, yeah, but he did it as an ambassador, I'm sorry, as a senator meeting with an ambassador. And again, you know, you can believe whatever you want to believe, but we don't have any hard, like what the fuck scenarios. That, what you just said to me is a bit insane.

Yeah, because what pretext does Trump in that position, which was when he was just a fucking... because only one. Presidential candidate, what reason does he have for a meeting with that guy? Sure, there is only one. And that is, that guy has an interest in meeting the potential future president in the United States of America. And as a baseline, we can say, sure, ambassadors want to do that. If you're running for president, you probably turn all those meetings down just to save face.

And you certainly do it with someone who is an enemy of our state, whose leader, John McCain, a first president. American hero is saying fuck that guy, he's KGB. Do you know what I mean? Like, if he'd be one thing if he had met with the prime minister or an ambassador from England. Sure. Would it still be weird? It'd be like, all right, are you going to give them extra favors?

What are you doing this for? Right. I think that's wild as hell, man. Like, when Tony Blair and Clinton were jerking each other off, nobody gave a fuck. It just scares me. Because if there is a smoking gun, someone's going to make a move. Whether the Democrats or even Republicans who's going to get tired of it.

Because right now, he's serving Republicans well. Because let's talk about that. While the news is dominated by Jeff Sessions met with a fucking ambassador, they're gutting the EPA. They just did this Obamacare overhaul, which frankly is Obamacare light, except that, you know, trade out mandates for tax credits and gutting Planned Parenthood. Medicare just won't work there now, which is ridiculous

because that means people with Medicare are going to go to a more expensive doctor. It's just going to be more... Anyway. It's awesome to me that to be... Trump tweeted. He's like, I know my friend Rand Paul will do a great job with this new health care. Like, just completely passing it off. I remember when Trump said, like, I already got it.

I got the plan. We just got to keep me in there and I'll fucking do it. I was like, no, no, no, Rand Paul. Rand Paul will totally, this fucking libertarian psycho that that's what you were saying during the goddamn campaign. And Rand's changed his mind on some of these policies. And if you're out there, you don't know the exact, and I'm a little drunk, so I'll do my best here. But Paul wanted one of the subsidies to be based on age.

So as you increase in age, you get more subsidies in spite of whatever money you make. Right. He knew that wasn't going to work, and he backed off on that. And my theory is that Trump told him, look, don't. And I'm giving Trump some credit for this. He said, don't fucking sell out working people because they're a big part of my base or whatever. We're going to get a lot of comments on that. Don't defend Trump.

But the Obamacare shit aside, my point was Trump's been useful for the Republicans in a lot of ways. He stays in the news with all these salacious things while they go Obamacare, fuck over Planned Parenthood, got the EPA, you know, LGBT community protections are going by the wayside. The Department of Education just today, that voucher program, I think it was today. They might have been yesterday, got instituted.

The new, like, they basically replaced a Department of Education law that was around since 1965. Any protection for poor kids is gone. Any protection for kids who have reading or learning disabilities is gone. They haven't replaced that part of it. It's a weird, scary time. And I'm saying that Trump is a distraction while they're doing all that shit. Well, yeah, I mean, that's kind of the theory with everybody. I'm not saying they set him up to be a distraction.

I'm saying they're using him as one. But eventually with this Russia shit. No, what I'm saying is... They are the Democrats are going to have to act. No, what I'm saying is, like, it was easy to say that at first. And, like, you know, as the cards fall, it's just kind of like, God damn, you know, like... With the fucking Department of Education and, like, the guy... Rand Paul being in charge of health care, scared the fuck out of me.

Paul Ryan. You keep saying Ram Paul. No, he tweeted about Rand Paul today because Rand Paul is working on the health care plan. If that's true, then he's taunting Rand Paul. And the reason I say that is, Ram Paul is furious. about why it's come out. He, for him, it doesn't, you know, it's not, I just assume they've been talking,

obviously they have, but like, Rand Paul. I feel like he might have been taunting him because Rand Paul tweeted yesterday that the new plan is Obamacare liked. Okay, then maybe you're right. Maybe that's even worse. I fucking Trump was just,

he's fucking just on Twitter, just like, that's what we do as comedians. I'm a fucking, true. Tweet, Trey, Matt, to say that, you know, queer. And people have been saying that since hell he became even a candidate. But the idea that that's what he... It's the president of the United States that's getting...

What do you think just being a child on fucking Twitter? What do you think health care would be like if grandpa wasn't charged? Because I feel like it's just he's going to make everybody have to do surgery on themselves. Yeah, that's it. Everybody just has to have a first aid kid. If you get a shot, you go to take the balloons yourself. You can't allow anyone in the middle. Everyone with cancer just has to race.

Yeah. And if you win the race, you can get the medicine. If you come in second, we'll give you pain medication, and then everyone else, we eat them. That was the health care replacement was one on the list, and the other one I think, and this is all the one, I saw a story where Trump had, in a speech, he had made the claim that Obama had released,

that 122 of Gipmo prisoners that Obama had released had since re-engaged and were active again in terrorism and in fact 113 of those 122 were released by George W. Bush, not Obama. So I'm like well over 90 fucking percent of him. He was off by 113 of 122. And it's, the day he said that, that morning, that had been in a fucking Breitbart article or something like that.

Well, the wiretap thing was also on Breitbart. Right. He's just sitting there fucking reading Breitin Bar in the morning. And then he goes out and says this shit. And you just get more sinister about it. Bannon is still telling Bratbart what to publish and he's telling Trump what to think. And what you just said has no bearing on the people that Trump is saying that to. because... I know.

And I know, I know, and we keep pointing that out, but, like, it's just to internalize that. It's more frustrating because you're like, that's, there is a difference between a goddamn onion article,

which is meant to be fake news, and something that is just fucking cold, hard facts that we've known for a while. Yeah, but, like, that's where I have no sympathy for people who won't call them out for that. Because, to be fair, there are people, I mean, at least on my feed

and other people I've talked to who are kind of like, like, I've got an uncle who supported him, who about him, month ago was in Jesus, they need to cut his mic. What is going on? Right, I know. It's one thing for your uncle to follow Breitbart. Sure. Because his options are Breitbart, CNN, Fox News, USA Today, whatever.

And at that point, they're all on by somebody, so whatever. But Trump has actual intelligence. Like, the literal intelligence community is at his feet. The ones that CNN go to go, what do we say? Dude, the ones that CNN wish they had. Right, right. You know what I'm saying, though. Like, where the shit actually comes from before it fucking fucking is.

The sources. Yeah. They're the new shit. The horses miles. He has the sources. Yeah. And he has antagonized them from the beginning. That is some dictatorship.

I'm sorry. Like, I don't, I hesitate to say that because it's so easy. And because if you compare him to Hitler, like, too quickly, when he's really becoming Hitler, everyone's like, well, you've been saying this for months, ain't shit happened or whatever. You know what I mean? We get people. Kind of like when we fucking compare George Doug. you push to Hitler.

Sure. When John McCain was running against Obama and everyone was like, he's the worst guy ever. And Romney, we vilified these actual not that bad motherfuckers. Right. And here we are. Here we are. So I hesitate to just like throw that out willy-nilly, but that is, you have the intelligence community and you're antagonizing them. Why?

Why? They're against you. Well, why are they against you? There's two options. His people believe, well, because he's fucking sticking into the man and he's the new thing. And we're going to overthrow it all. The CIA's evil And, you know, the fucking

FBI's evil Well, liberals are just as responsible for that as anybody else. Have we not been saying that for years? As I say, yeah, get us going on a fucking Kennedy assassination bullshit. We've been saying that exact same thing. And look, it may be true.

The CIA probably is evil. They literally kill people. But that's how we ended up here, I think. The type of person who says, the type of person who says, you've got to put tape over your fucking the camera on your computer because somebody might be looking

I don't hear that and immediately think of a certain party. I'm like, that literally could either be a crazy conservative or a fucking liberal hippie that lives on a commune. That's not a fucking that's not a political lien. That's a Trump voter. Sure. That's what I'm saying. It has no political lien at all. Like that's just conspiracy-minded. I think

all those people that you're describing went for Trump or Bernie. Sure. But I mean, I'm in that boat. I'm in that vote too. I went for Bernie. That's what I'm saying. All those people win for Trump or Bernie. Yeah. Yeah. So because, bro, I mean, I mean, I'm in that. like those people in conspiracy theorists and stuff, it's also insane

that like one of Trump's boys is fucking Alex Jones. That motherfucker. Dude, I watched the compilation of his shit right. I saw that. I know. It's insane. Everybody knows. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Everybody knows who he

is and like what he's a conspiracy theorist. There's nut job, but like, I don't fucking listen to Alex Jones. So like watching an actual compilation video clips of him with his fucking mouth. moving shit that I see him saying is so powerfully

insane. It just blows my fucking mind that anybody listens to him, let alone he has the ear of the president. But see, the shit that's like God damn. This is what made me rethink. No, when I say rethink, Alex Jones is a crazy motherfucker and he's a hateful son of a

bitch. All right. Here's the, here's what I don't know. Listen to me. I was listening to Rogan. We've talked four about you being a bit of a conspiracy theory. I am. I am, but again, I'm also a decent human being. Like, so I'll... That's a conspiracy in and of itself. I'm a...

Conspiracy that Corey's a decent human. Okay, I'm a bag of shit, but like, you know that I genuinely do want people to be okay. I just thought of a bad of shit. Yeah, hilarious. I want people to be okay. I heard Alex, not your Amber. It ends up, listen to this. Not your Amber, not Corey's Amber, an ex-girlfriend of mine.

No, I'm trying to try his family called a bag of shit. No, I knew that. Yeah, and baby, that ain't about you. You're not even... You're not even... Amber's in the past. Amber nor no one that knows Amber is listening to this. Alex Jones was on fucking Joe Rogan the other day,

and he was talking about the simulation theory that we discussed in the last episode, or the two episodes ago. Okay, here's the deal. What we're talking about, I don't see that as one side of the spectrum. I hear him talk about it, and it's like, whoa, dude, back the fuck off.

Jesus Christ, you're crazy. I hear Elon must say literally the same thing. And I'm like, yeah. No, no. You hear Elon Musk talk about the mathematical probabilities of us living in a simulation. Because he says it better. And then you hear

Alex Jones go, oh, like I love in the mentions, or maybe there's proud! Well, that's what I mean, though. Like, I get, like, I'm sitting here looking at him going, I could go with you if you, like, speak about it with some sort of fucking, like, I don't know, okay.

And this is just... In any diplomatic way. I'm not making any statement about what this says about either one of us, but I said on one of our last episode, I brought that up about Elon Musk. and I said, like, I respect the shit out of Elon Musk and everything that he's done,

but when I hear him talk about that shit, in my mind, I'm like, all right, so this motherfucker's a little crazy. Sure, sure, but like, when Elon Musk says, he's a genius, but he's a little fucking nurse. Sure, for sure. But when he's saying it,

he's just going to look at his probability that if all these things going, we could be actually in mirroring off society. I don't think so. Talks like that sometimes, I don't know. So it don't matter. But when Alex Jones was saying it, he's like,

The Obama administration are all lizards, and they have got their behind the scenes with this machine that's actually just reflecting things off of the side of our, and they're going to come eat us and eat our livers, and nobody has freedom anymore. So there's a bit of a difference. For sure, without a doubt. I'm not sure which sad of this you're arguing. I'm saying I... You're right, there is a difference. That's a nut job. It's not about what you say.

It's about how you say it. This is literally it. This guy's an angry motherfucker. It's like some things, I'm like, dog, we could reach mutual grounds. But the way you're saying it was such I don't think me and Alex Jones could agree on what to eat tonight But no, he did that motherfucker, yeah, he's something else, dude. And that guy, like again, but we've, you said we're part to blame for, you know,

the villainization of Romney and dudes like that. Alex Jones is fucking crazy, but these people are like doubling down. No, no, hell, he's just so, he's the only one that gets it. I know some people to think that, and I'm like, can we not just all agree? That's the fucker's insane. I was on the plane today on the way out here, and the dude beside me opened up his computer. He's watching a YouTube video, 10 pieces of evidence of alternate realities. Now, of course, I couldn't hear it, so I don't know what was going on.

He was a dude, I didn't recognize who had a lot of followers that looked like, you know, from the YouTube channel. Baldhead, beard, just screaming and half the screen, and then he had little. clips up on the other side. I don't know what he was talking about. It looked like it was pseudoscience and physics and stuff. The point is the internet has leveled the playing field in a lot of ways,

but it's also made it's given voice to I mean, you have that great bit about Twitter being, you know, stupid people have a voice for the first time. We know what people think now because it's crazy people do too, right? Sure. Right. Yeah. Well, yeah. I was

reading an article the other day and I thought it was interesting about how fake news and all that shit that we're dealing with that will go away he was arguing because it was saying that when the printing press came around the first 200 years, the only people who used it was academics sharing things among themselves that no one else could access or read

or comprehend and then that was just their emails to each other right and then religious zealots and insane people and it took 100 or 200 years before you know quote unquote

regular society everyday life had any sort of interaction with the printing press and written words. First of all people have to learn how to read. Well, we're not all computer literate. Email literate and we're not all news literate. And there are times where I get worried about this fake news shit and the fact that

Trump used shit to his advantage and the fact that Russia might have tapped into our fucking election and used this shit against us and tapped into the fact that there are people out there who are looking up and going, you know what? world, I think it might be flat. Like, there's time where I freak out about that, and I go, that's why he won the election, because someone recognized

Jesus Christ, we have this tool to reach these people. They're very interested and very susceptible to interesting lies. We don't have to tell good lies that make him feel good. We just have to tell interesting ones. Let's do that. It freaks me out. And then I look at my nephew, who's 11. Netcho. No, Neffield. No, Nefchat. I don't know shit about fucks that basketball alone to death. But the other

one, knows about computers, super savvy. and I look at him and I go, he's not going to struggle with fake news. Right. He knows he's smarter than me. To me, though, it's not about them understanding the computer or how to just access that information. I mean, it's the culture. What I'm saying is though when it is actually in front of them,

all they have to do is read it. It's no different than reading a book. So like if they read it. But that's my point. Books became authorities in our culture. and then people who were used to that got on the internet and someone says something and it makes logical sense and they show a picture.

Have you seen the one about mountains being trees? Have you seen the one about mountains being trees? What? Wait a minute. It's part of the flat earth or shit. There's a new that mountains are just petrified giant trees that used to live on earth that were literally as big as mountains. And it'll show like a, yes, the face that he's making audience

is the face that you're making right now. To what ends? What are they even trying to prove with that? They're just trying to get clicks because it's an interesting lie. I thought you said it was part of the flat earth theory. It's just part of that world. Okay. So that's not supposed to support.

No, no. Not as far as I know. Maybe someone will correct me. Anyway, it's an interesting lie. They show a picture of like a plateau or a cliff, and then they show a picture of a stump, and it looks similar.

And they show a petrified rut and look, this is how it would happen. It's just interesting. For fuck's sake. I feel like, culture will catch up to I mean that's a ridiculous one that I told because it's funny

I feel like culture will catch up to that I feel like people like Alex Jones will be relegated to the fringe but it might take a generation or two hopefully we're not about that by then that's what worries okay so we should probably is trying to get rid of the

internet so that might help dude that and my bad no well all right so Cory got down

what are we at right now how we're done about 47 we good oh Lord this is an intro yeah

so we should oh we talked about how we wanted to make this not an intro but I'm saying still we should we should probably get into it

and I we'd be utterly remiss to not mention or to not talk about who we're interviewing in this episode I mean I know

that it's in the you know you click the link and it's in the text description but still I mean this guy's a literal a literal living legend yeah let's intro George

before we do that let me just say real quick you can email us at well read podcast at gmail.com is that right? That is correct we've been tinkering with the format we used to call us an intro when we had an interview but I think

you know it's interesting to engage with these guys and talk to y'all asking us questions on Twitter right now about this podcast. Word. Yeah, literally. So anyway, just send us, if you have,

I just want you guys, if you want to email in and just be like, we like the longer intros, make the intro the crux of the episode, whatever, whatever. Okay, so, and also you just made me think

another thing we should probably do so this one, this is, so today is Wednesday, March 8th, everybody listening. Oh, yeah, we've got some shows

coming up there sold out. I'm not going to tempt you with those, but on Tuesday, the 14th, we're going to be a period, on The View on ABC. We are Tuesday morning. This Tuesday morning, March 14th.

The Scoot. Yeah. And then the 15th and 16th, I'm in Anaheim and in Las Vegas with America's greatest working songwriter Jason Isbell. That's going to be all the time. John Prong. And the 18th were in OKC. I don't know if those are sold out or not.

They are. Okay, they are. And I agree. I agree with what you're saying, but writing songs now Prine's best years are behind. That what I meant, yeah. No, you're right, but you're also right. You're both right. Working, working.

I guess what I mean is like active. We're trying to a plug for shows. You're both right. You're both right. Anyway, I don't know. I don't know. I can't tell about looking at it. It's really yoga.

I can't tell about looking at my calendar, which ones are sold out and which ones are. I can do. Go ahead. Okay. What, you've got the dates? Well, you just go, if you just go to well readcomedy. com, I believe we put a little sold out thing next to all the else. And they said so that it is sold out.

I saw it. I saw it. can find our book, The Little Redneck Manifesto Dragon Dixie out of the dark. It still, as far as I know, has a near-perfect rating on Amazon. 4.8 stars out of 5. No, whatever. Corey has one person from his hometown who gave it one star because he is bitter. Although, not from my hometown, just a dude that used to come to the catch-a-lite.

And he's bitter. Yep. And he also did not read the book. He couldn't have. He put up an eight-paragraph review. an hour after the he also wrote

to a about how our views on guns our typical liberal views and they are not no in fact I'm very

I cannot actually no I'm not surprised we haven't gotten any shit over that because that's kind of how I've known a lot of people

felt it's like just fucking don't you know go get checked out get your brain worked on and you know

maybe just shoot a deer with it and you don't need a fucking assault rifle well I also think that we have a lot of liberal redneck fans. We do have some just regular liberal fans, too. Plenty.

They ain't giving that shit up for nothing. So, all right. Did you plug Brooklyn? Yeah, we need to plug Brooklyn. April 21st. I got the actual show shit. April 21st, Brooklyn, the Bell House. That's going to hit.

April 2nd is our last show in Bentonville, Arkansas. There's a couple tickets left. It was like 10, I think. We just added April 13th to Los Angeles, California, at Largo. That's why we're in LA with Tray right now. We're doing a show at Largo

We've got another one April 13 So you said April 13 Come out to that guys It's going to be awesome We sold this other one out Immediately It's going to be fun

We're going to be on Bringing our A game To those L.A. shows April 21st We're in Brooklyn, New York April 23rd Come by my house Yeah

April 23rd New Brunswick, New Jersey April 20th That's a great club If it is Yeah, it is a stress factory That's a hidden club April 24th, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, April 28th.

Oh, beautiful story of Bethlehem. No, you go to go to everybody. Sing church songs? You know, for a fact, I don't know. Bethlehem, it's where Jesus was... I know that, but I don't know the words that song. Jesus, Trey. For sure, comparison to yourself points, you should know that.

Trey talked about how he Jesus. May 1st, Columbus, Ohio, and May 4th, Liberty. Township, Ohio. That's what we got coming up. Also, June 1st, June 2nd, June 3rd, Huntsville, Alabama, doing a full weekend in Rocket City. Yeah, so. Come in a damn, damn, Rocket City, rednecks?

Might have. Them cats that work for NASA? Yeah, yeah. Man, I look. My nephew used to love that show, and then, of course, they took it off the air because they couldn't give him positive road models to look up to. They had to get him honey-fucking boo-boo. Didn't you have a bet about that? I did. That was great.

Thank you. So when all this shit first happened and the videos first went viral and we were like, hey, shit, but maybe you think we could tour off this? Who knows? We'll see. We put together a week-long trial run of the tour that has now been going on for 10 fucking months, and we went to 80 goddamn cities and it's been a hell of a thing. But when we first put together, I've gained 30 pounds. We all gained 30 pounds. I've all gained literally 30. So, but we put a week-on trial run together the very three. First show of which was in Atlanta at the fable punchline. Two shows. I love great people. On a Sunday night.

This is Marcy's birthday week, so if you're listening to Marcy, happy birthday. Happy birthday, Marcy. So, uh, and I was sweating bullets. So I remember talking y'all about it. I was like, man, okay, all these views and shit, ain't nobody going to fucking pay money and leave their house to come see me. It's easy to click like or click share. Right.

There ain't nobody coming out to this. I was fucking worried about it. And Corey was sweating bullets because he sweats off. He was a lot of the time. And I was drinking bullet. So, hell yeah. Cut two that night, and we sold out two shows on Sunday night, saw about 500 tickets, and the cherry on top of that,

the best part was that legendary comedian George Wallace, who is originally from Atlanta. He's lived in New York for years. He was in Atlanta and was scheduled to go home on Sunday morning. and he rescheduled... To Las Vegas. Wherever he was going. He rescheduled his flight to Monday,

specifically because he wanted to come to our show. He came to our show. He went up on stage. He hung out with us afterwards, and it was one of the best nights of all of our lives, I'm pretty sure. Especially speaking, it was amazing. For any comedians listening,

y'all appreciate this one or anything? He went up on stage and he did time, and then he brought all three of us back up on the day. stage and he had this notebook with him and he told us which bits of ours he liked the most and i think every single one of us we were about to just it was it was this close to an out-of-bodies experience i'm just i'm just i'm watching it all happen while it was hey it was it was fucking insane and that was one of them like you know you just don't get that back you know i mean that's a that's a man that was that night we got back to the hotel and like that night was the first time for me anyway that was the

time that I realized, like, oh my God, this is real. Yeah, that was like a really real. A lot of weird things happened in that now. Like, that's also when we met Jen Bryant. It's when we met a great pause. Introduces to the drive-by truckers. It was a great, phenomenal lady in her own right. And also that right before those shows, when we met Chuck,

Riggs, the editor of the bitter southerner. We got an interview him, dudes. Yeah, we know. We got a drive-by weekend. Yeah, we're on two hampered. we were too hammered, but we will have Chuck on here. But yeah, that was a phenomenal day. So, but that's not when we did this podcast.

We went back to Atlanta later, and George also happened to be in town. We sat down with him in the punchline during, you know, during the middle of the day, off hours, and just talked to him about his story, comedy, obviously, and, you know, just all kinds of shit. And it was a great thing. He's such a, he's obviously very, very funny. He's also just, he's such a. fucking good dude. He's infectious.

People use that a lot. And a lot of times it's just like, it's just thrown around. That dude literally just makes you feel better about everything. Just talking him. We talked to him at lunch.

We like a two hour lunch. Then we did like a two hour podcast. Then we just sat in a parking lot for two hours and talked to him. We're like, we're sorry for taking up your time. He's like, shit, I ain't got nothing to do. I'm here.

It's the nicest dude. Yeah, you're going to enjoy this. We get into him growing up in the South in a very large black family. His family is wildly successful. Yeah. Like you're going to hear about it. Crazy. He's like the third famous person in his family.

And, you know, he's been on Seinfeld. That's insane. Also, he's an extremely savvy businessman. Like George, I don't think ever even really needed the money from comedy. He didn't. Like he, and he gets into that. But it's, yeah, it's insane. Like, this was just.

He kind of did, to me, there's a lot of parallels of you and him, which was like, you know, with George, he was like, I want to do comedy, but I don't want to be, I don't want to struggle to do it. I'll be hungry. Yeah, he's like, I know, I've got business savvy. I'm going to do this, which has always been the huge difference between me and you, which neither one's right, neither one's wrong. But, like, I was always just like, whatever, and you had way better reason, obviously, but I think everybody will enjoy it for all those reasons. I am not nervous, but, like, aware of the fact that we were. this was pretty early on in the podcast and in all this happening

and you know for those of you all out there listen we were literally interviewing a legend yeah in the comedy world yeah um but I think we did a good job hopefully you guys like you hopefully you agree so uh and if you don't didn't fucking tell us about it on Twitter like you

always do or write us little emails about how we keep interrupting the gifts we know we did that to marry we didn't mean to all right you that's how to win I'm over Yeah. Anyway, enjoy this conversation with George Wallace. And come back and see us next time despite what Gert just said.

And, you know, we'll be here. So until then, stoo! Wow. I already said all the funny shit. I know, yeah. You shouldn't talk at lunch. You shouldn't talk. Just sit there and look at each other.

We should have. Yeah. You know, I'm not going to lie, that occurred to me a few times while we were talking to. Like, well, it's like Corey said, we'll circle back to that. So I'm just going to go ahead. Well, first of all, we never heard, first of all, we never heard anything we already said. That's right. Exactly.

This is all new. I want you to explain what you just said, George, which was that you are too afraid to sleep in your own house because it's too big, so you got a condo. Why? Well, I'm living in Atlanta. And let me tell you guys something. I've been doing this 40 years. You guys have been doing it four years. I better have some money or something to tell you guys to show you otherwise you're going to

He's a broke bastard, you know? Right. So I'm proud to say, and I'll be the first one to tell you, I got, I got 17 properties. I've been working a long time. And I don't do drugs. Right. So I just buy crazy things and I travel a lot, first class, and stay in the best hotels. That's what I do.

But I bought a house when I was a kid. Growing up in Atlanta, I just arrived by the governor's mansion. And I always said, I'm going to get me a house like that one day. And sure enough, one became available about 1996 when they had the Olympics here. And I bought one. And it's like three stories. and what the basement is bigger than the whole house. And I want that.

And I'm afraid to stay there now. Why? I think it's haunted. No, it's not haunted. I'm not afraid of the ghost because the ghost, they never hurt anybody, do they? Not that I know. I know. No, yeah.

Who you're afraid of? I'll say that because people see it is. I'm afraid of, I'm single. And if I hear something in the house, I'm going to go crazy. I don't have a gun. Right. So what hell am I going to do? And if the police come, I'm going to get shot for sure.

I'm in one of those neighborhoods that, you know, there's no... Right. Not at his house. Right. Not at all. But it's a big house and we have fun now. I go there once a year for Christmas parties. You don't own a good...

Do you don't own any guns? No. Never have? Nope. Because I think I want to shoot somebody. Yeah. Yeah, I've always kind of thought that's fair. No, I know for a fact, you know, and I do it on stage,

I talk about my nephew. I'm going to say, Jr., how many times I told you to knock before you come through that doing that bus. That's after I bust the cap on his ass. Right, right, right. So, but, yeah, so I bought a condo here downtown. Right across, I could walk to my house from here. Oh, really?

Yeah, which is nice. That is not. And I'm born and raised in this community. Did you know that? I mean, I knew you were from Atlanta. Yeah, one mile away. Really? Yeah, born right over here.

That's cool. You were saying earlier, your brother, I didn't know this at all. Your brother, Steve, right? Steve Wallace. Steve Wallace. He played for the Joe Montana era 49ers for 13 years and played at Auburn? He went to school at Auburn. Born and raised in the same house, same bed I was raised in.

I had gone off to college, but, and then he went to Auburn, and they should pay those college kids, by the way. Agreed. And they did. No, I just made that up. But, so he went to Auburn, and then he left Baltimore. and then he left Auburn and they went to San Francisco. We were blessed. He was up there for 13 years.

Was he in all in the ball rings? Bo Jackson. All I went to school together. Bo and Charles Barkley. I met him all. I met him all. There was a guy named Night Train. What was his name?

Night train Lane? Lane, yeah. All those kids went to school there, you know? And turn out some good kids there. Yeah, they did. It was a while for Auburn. Yeah, so. And then he was up there for 13 years in San Francisco.

Got three Super Bowl rings. He went to the Pro Bowl. and everything. And my nephew, actually I have seven Super Bowl rings in the family. Did I tell you all that? You did. We'd like to hear it again. Okay. Didn't I tell you we'd never heard

what I'm getting ready to tell you? Yeah. So my nephew is a Monitoum. I played for the New York Giants for 12, 13 years. He got two Super Bowl rings. And Bobby Hamilton played for the New England Patriots, my other nephew. And I always tell her, everybody in my family. My mama

played football, so that's why I'm really. But very blessed family. How many brothers and sisters do you have? That's seven of us. Yeah. Well, Steve, I'm really the baby, but Steve is actually my nephew, but we grew up in the same. Right. We called each other a brother.

Yeah. Because you grew up in the same house. Yeah. How many kids were in the house? Well, we were there at separate times, different times. We're all out different times because I'm like the baby of my family. And my next sibling is like 12 years older than me. Oh, damn, really?

Yeah. Now, is that a complete coincidence? or is there something different or special about your, that's wild to me that there's that much success coming out of one family. Oh, my God. What a great question that is. My whole family has been blessed from day one. They did a story of my life.

Fox TV did. Who am I? And they went all the way back to my ancestors back from slavery. And my family has always been involved in some commerce or business. Family just blessed having great things happened to us. My dad probably had a second grade education. But we were like the family in the neighborhood. We took care of everybody, you know.

And my dad was a butcher, and he was a contractor at the same time. So he built houses, and he couldn't meet during the mornings. But we always like number one, the cars, the Cadillac, the house, everything. And we've just been blessed. What we can bless others too. And just my whole family is like that, though. That's beautiful. And you're just really good people, and every now and then it does work out for good people.

Well, back then, it really worked out. out for us. Our family is just blessed. And all my brothers and all, nobody ever wanted for anything. Well, you said he woke up and cut me, and then he went and did contracting work? Yeah, because, you know, butchers, they get up at 5 o'clock in the morning. And then they offer, like, it won. So he had the rest of the day. So he would work two jobs. He was his own boss. So, you know, he was making money that way.

But you got a little bit of that and you being your own boss. Have you been your own boss most of your life? Well, I think so, because I've never worked. I've never, I had a salary one time. When I got out of college, I sold rags. Real rags. You laugh if you want to. I made a lot of money selling rags. You'd be surprised that Val Brighamette you got on, that was a rag and it becomes a material.

I sold Shamwa. Shamwa? Yeah. I sold that in 1972. I sold it all over the country. We used to it. I sold it to Earl Shide. Now, this is when I, it was a rag that you could use for everything, wiping and drying.

Right. And I made 50% on a. Commission? Yeah. And I sold real shot this rag. I said it's a universal, it's always the same size. It's, uh, because they used to use just regular rag. You know, bag of rag?

You know, bag of rag? Oh, yeah. And so they used to be like 25 cents a pound. I would go in there and sell him a rag for eight cents and shit like that. I had a little pin scale like a pen, and I would weigh his rag and this rag. We'd weigh like, uh, let's say weigh 12 ounces. I said that's almost that's over 16 cents

or something like that just for a rag and I was having a new rag I was figuring it's out in my head while I'm talking how much I'm going to cheat him or how much I'm going to make so it was all figures and fractions and shit like that I saw him

I wonder how his family's done so well but this guy sold I must have sold this guy like $500 worth of uniform claws that he could use every day and rewashed him and reused him and then they want it for the nation.

So they call the home office. And their home offices, well, we're not going to get that little black guy, 50% commission on all of this money. They didn't say that, but that's what I'm thinking. I heard about it later. Why are they not buying anymore from me? They had them all over the country. I would have made hundreds of thousands of dollars just selling rags there.

But I'm the first one that introduced in New York City. when you go to the dentist, they now have a little handy wipe with plastic backing. That was a disposable cloth. So that, that was a disposable cloth. So that, so the dentist, car wash, you'll be surprised. Funeral Holmes, everybody needs a rag. Yeah, yeah. Restaurants.

That's true. That's true. So I did that. I just never thought about who the rag guy was. Yeah, you'd be surprised. It's kind of like the guy to sell nuts and boats. You don't know who the screw guy is. You've seen that little guy on the mechanical trucks, snap on tues and things like that. He's making lots of money.

I'm sure, for sure. Where'd you go to college at? went to Debris. No. I shouldn't make a joke about that. So many people go to Debris. One of you guys probably looking at me, what the fuck is wrong with DeVry?

Because we're a Phoenix. You're Phoenix, right? So I went to University of Akron, Akron, Ohio. You ever heard of that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Akron Zips. We just found out what that was about four years ago.

Ohio State, 34, Akron. Zip. But I went to school there. I had a, when I wanted to be a comedian, but I had to make a lot of money before I got into the comedic world. So I wanted to, I got a degree in transportation.

Not many people had a program, and not many schools had a program of transportation. The University of Wisconsin at Madison and the University of Akron, Akron, Ohio. And I got that degree in transportation. A lot of people still don't know what a degree in transportation would be. Sometimes I say it on stage, people say, what are you a taxi drive?

And I have to throw the air cell bus drive, you know. But transportation happens to be the number one industry in the world. Right. The number one industry in the world. People fell to realize the shirt on your back. The microphones were talking, the lights, the chairs, everything. Is that what they call logistics now? Well, that's a new word.

Okay. But is it the same thing? You just heard that when Brown came up with logistics. You hadn't heard it. You're right. They fucked up on that one, didn't they? Yeah, but they had a program called, what can Brown do for you? They should always stick with that program.

They came out with logistics. That didn't work. What can Brown do for you? I used to love to do that joke. I said, the first thing Brown can do for me is move that truck out of the damn street flying. The Brown want to do me in favor, run this over the FedEx. You know? But so, yeah, my first degree was in transportation.

And then I needed to study more, and I got marketing and advertising. So I got a degree in marketing and advertising. Then I got a little program in television and radio broadcasting. And then I moved to New York, and I got involved in working and making money. And finally reading a backstage newspaper, tryout for comedy at a little club. And I did that. And then we learned more. You start networking.

and I found myself at Catch a Riding Star in New York City, 1976. Right. Catcher in a star. How old were you when you first stepped on stage for the very first time? 80. I was 86. I think it must have been, I was old. I was 25 or 27?

I was 24. Were you? Yeah, it was 25? 16. 16? Oh, my God. Is that great? 16.

That's like going to college, you know. You got a lot of experience. You got a bachelor's degree. You have validated. validated him because he is, anytime we've ever, like, made Corey didn't go to college, just shit on him for not going to college.

Well, he still need to sit over there and sit down and shut the hell up. He's still, he's still a kid. You shed the hell up and you know your place, right? You're still a kid, right? Sit in the back and shut the... Yeah. But he, uh, and he always says that. He's like, well, I didn't, my college was stand-up.

I went, I started standing up at 16, and that was my college or whatever, so. Yeah. Believe me, you just made his day by telling him that. Well, I'm about to be 29. So, like, I've been doing it for a while, yet I'm still young. Yes, of course. I get to have the advantage of being young, but I've got the stage experience of somebody.

A lot of people don't have that by the time they're talking. I did what you did. Like I grew up, you know, to trailer park shit, middle of nowhere, Tennessee with nothing. I had no safety net, nothing like that. And I told you earlier I wanted to do comedy since I was 12, since I saw bigger and blacker Chris Rock. That's what maybe I did do it. And then I knew I wanted to do it, but I was like, I had to, I got no safety net, no money or whatever. So I went to college first and found a job.

and I was like, that way I can make money while I'm pursuing this. And that's pretty much what I do. But it's still good that you did go to school. Oh, I'm proud of. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wouldn't change anything about it. Yeah, of course. I grew up when I had Rodney Daniel Field, Johnny Carson, Flip Wilson, Red Fox. These guys grew up doing Bondville.

Yeah. And they were saying some days they wouldn't have a place to eat. I said, hell for that, that's bullshit. I'm always going to have some food to eat, some place to live. Right, exactly. So that's why I went to college. I had to get that degree. You hear the whole, like, you know, starving artist,

cliche or whatever. Exactly. And I always was like, no, fuck that. No, no. You've done it already, right? Exactly. Exactly, man. So that's what, that's how I looked at it too. So it worked out for me, and you can be anything you want to be. It's it sound like a cliche, you can do what you want to do. It was a preacher one time, Reverend I,

and you can have what you want to have. If you really want to work, you can make things happen. Right. It's kind of like comedy. I could be bigger than I am today if I really wanted to work harder. Right. I'm serious. If you, you know, like my best friend in Seinfeld, he writes every day. If you sit down and write every day, you can make things happen.

If you're into the formula, might I say, you can make more happen. You know, I could go out to California and just sit there and really be involved in everyday practice of television. Network, wait, network, wait, network, and eventually. No, no, no, wait. Network, do it. Okay. Network, do it. But I'm still the most blessed person you've ever met.

I've done everything I want to do. My goal was to work Las Vegas. I went to Los Vegas for 30 days and turned out to be 10 years. Right. And which was different about it, I went in, I didn't work for the hotels. I owned the show. I did what you call it was Port Walling. I rented the room from the Flamingo, 750 seats.

And I did all the marketing because I studied in marketing, did all the advertising because I've been Price President of the World's largest outdoor advertising company. And that's why I stayed 10 years because I knew what I was doing. It's worked harder, George. Business-wise, you know, I knew how to handle it. I know how to do that. people said, George Wallace, how do you do, how do you come in here and you got, I'm competing with, with Bette Midler, I'm competing with Celine Dion, Jay Leno.

I'm speaking with all of these people that have TV shows and everything. What the hell is George Wallace come from? Well, the 10 o'clock show. Right. And standing in 10 years, how does he do that? How does he have more advertising in Los Vegas than we do? I have more advertising than the whole season's group. I'd have five trucks going down the street, back to back to back to back to back to back.

people said that's stupid why would you have five trucks just going back to back I'm well why would you ask me right you're curious about it because they saw it and like right and they remembered it and they had one truck all over all the five trucks all over the city nobody would never ask you drive right by them and they wouldn't think none about it now you go to los Vegas everybody's doing the george wallace practice formula you should start charging fees for that well I taught all my friends how to do it I told my friend here's what you do and I of course I had the experience in the advertising so I'll go to the billboards I'm going to the billboard

company and say, you've got to know how to do this stuff because billboards are like tremendous amounts of money. But you see open billboards, I know what's going on. And I tell me, I want to buy four, I'm going to buy five, you give me five. There's nobody over there. Watch me. The people in

Los Vegas, they follow me. So when you sell, when you do me a favor, you do yourself a paper. Somebody else will come in there by five boards. That's what all the people would do. They'd go, whatever George Wallace does in Vegas, they know how to do that. So, So I would buy five and sometimes get six, I call them bonuses.

You buy taxi cabs in Las Vegas? They're $300 each. So you've got to be careful. You've got to know what you're doing in advertising and marketing $300 each. You've got to buy $100 just to make an impact on the city. Why you got to buy 100 people. I bought 100 taxes. Well, if you're not into the business and you don't know what's happening,

50 of them are sitting on the lot. Right. Yeah. Yeah. So you've got to know which company goes to, who has the better calves, what's going to be on the street because I want at least 75% of my cabs

on the street all the time. Otherwise, and if you don't check it, they'll put you on cars that are wreck. Because we used to do that in bus advertising in New York City.

Oh, you're up. We got your shit out if the bus ain't moving, but if you want to go down and check them out, we'll take you down. So, but being smart and making money,

and I don't know how we got into this. Just talking about how, sir, Can I get a, can I get a, uh, some water? Excuse me. I'll just, I'm okay. Okay, we'll pretend you're here.

Yeah, we always do. I'm going to say, oh, you said 1976, Catcher Rising Star. Yeah. Were you saying that was the, was that when you started? I would say that's when we started. I would say that's when we started. So like, you know, then the boom happened, right? The fable boom after that, were you, uh, what was that like from the inside of it or whatever?

Like, did you know that was, Did you understand what was happening when it was happening? No. Or was it just, that's just. I just always knew that it was going to happen. Yeah. For me, I'm just one of those guys. I'm going to be all right no matter what.

That's right. And when I was in high school, I just go, Millionaire? No problem. They're no big thing anyways. No, but I'm going to get it. Whatever the best is for me. I just never worried about it.

And so I started doing comedy, and that's in 1976. And you look across the way and the end of the bar, a little Jewish boy over there, just as ugly as he could be. And we became friends. I don't know how we became friends. You're talking about Seinfeld. Talking about your Sanfell. And we've been 40 years.

We've been best friends to this day. And we did a lot of things together. And we made a promise to each other. Whoever makes the first million dollars, the other one would get a half of it. Really? Yeah. Do you keep that promise? Well, he actually wrote me a check.

Half of everything I owned. I did it on Anderson Cooper about a year ago. And I have that check. And I know your wife is in the audience, but one day, I'm going to cash this check in, half of everything I own. But we've just been close, and we've both been successful, obviously. Right. We were, one of the greatest thing that happened to us was walking down Melrose Avenue in Los Angeles.

Up the street from the improv, they had one of those Reverend Sister Mary's. What do you call those, readers, psychics? Yeah. So I said, like, let's go in there. You know how comedians are. We got nothing to do walking down the street. And let's go in there and fuck with this lady, you know, because we don't believe anything she said. Right?

Right? The fuck you know about me. Yeah, yeah. So we're going there and the ladies just, she said, read my pump she said oh you're going to make a lot of money you're really going to do well you're going to do well and I'm looking at inside felt like

pretty good huh I'm licking my tongue in him you know I said you go Jerry he said no no no no I said you go I'm not going to go I'll pay for it and a lady looked at his hand and she oh my god she looked at and she was taking the back she says I thought he was going to make a lot of money

you're really going to make a lot of money that's what she said to sign fell she was right on the money we've been trying to find out no I didn't make that shit up that's why I remember Isn't that amazing? That's amazing. Well, so do you, do you like believe in psychics and taro and Paul? I still don't believe that shit.

I still don't believe. You think she got lucky? Oh, you thought. But she was right on the money, you know? Oh, yeah. Well, sounds like you was on the money. Well, this guy. I went to one once, and she told me, she told me, she said I was going to make a lot of money,

but she also told me that my, that my grandpa was going to die within, like, this time frame, whatever, and he did. No way. And, but I see, you ask me, I'm like, no, I don't believe in that shit. But, I mean, it was pretty, you know. The thing is, I don't remember all the other stuff, she said. But you remember your granddad was probably, you know, I was way off. I'm so sorry. It sounded like I was just laughing at your story of your dead granddad.

I was. The waitress just brought Corey a wine and she said, are you old enough? And he took his fucking hat off. Are you serious? She just, she just, he's still not old enough. Oh, he'd been, when did you start going bald? How old were you? When he was eight?

22. Around 22. Like, 1920, it was like, I knew something was going to happen. It started receding here, but I still had plenty of coverage. And then, like, 22, there it comes. It's exponential with your goddamn hair. It is. Just start to.

Yeah. He got drunk one night and called the Bosley hair treatment, people, whatever. Oh, really? Sign up for it. And then the next day he's like, I'm an idiot. Why'd I do that? And he didn't want it, you know, whatever. But, like, to this day, they call him every now and then.

And they, like, trick you, right? Don't, is that's all with a hey, hey, Corey, what's going on? And it's an L.A. number. And, like, at this point in our career, you know, that's... You got to pick it up. Yeah. So I'm like, hey, hey, Corey, what's going on, buddy? How you doing?

Oh, I'm good, man. Anyways, this is Keith from Bosley. I'm... You motherfucker. I'm hanging up. Well, why don't you play with them like I do? You ever get those calls, marketing? Yeah.

I play with them all the time. Man, they called me the other day and told me, well, one time the guy called me and told me to my $250,000. All I had to do is go down to West Union, and in my acceptance speed, which was $500. I said, oh, are you serious? I never want anything. I never want anything. He said, yeah, you just go down and you do this, take this number down, you send the money.

And he says, the truck is on the way out to bring you your money. I said, okay, so I hung up on him. And then he called back 30 minutes later. He said, sir, we're waiting for you to, because the delivery of the, what you call Western Union, it said, it's an electronic reason that goes right back to him. I said, oh, I'm on my way, I'm on my way. So the third time after he called me, I said, I really am on my way down there this time. I said, by the way, the truck that's bringing my $250,000,

what a dress do you have to deliver that? He went, oh, well, I don't have the dress. I said, well, somebody has to have the truck nowhere to come. He said, sir, the truck is on the way. And all of a sudden, say, you must think I'm some motherfucking fool. You think I won $250,000. All I got to do is to you five hundred and then. So we had a big argument.

But I just played with the people like, you won't. I guess I should have one. You should do that, yeah. I'm telling me about my problem. I started telling me about my own problem. It's like when they car, like, He was wondering if you were interested in this trip to Mexico. I was like, no, man, I'd say what I need.

I need to shrink. You know, me and my old lady were fighting. I just going, well, I'm not really interested in your old lady. I said, I'm not interested in a fucking vacation. And I gave Seinfeld a bit to us. Can I want one of the telemarketers call us? Can I have your house numbers so I can call you back? He's not, I can't give you my house number.

He said, well, why the fuck are you calling mine? Right. He used that on the show. Yeah. Yeah. He goes, oh, I can't talk right now. But how about I call you back during dinner? Right.

Well, we can't give out it. Is it? You know how I felt quick. Yeah, that was you? That was you. That's awesome. So, yeah, that's, I always just, I either don't answer if I, like, if I get one one time and that, find out it's some bullshit, I'll just block it, right? Yeah. And then, but if I do pick up, I usually just hang up on one.

One time, this dude called said he was from the IRS, but he had, like, I've got that one. It was from the IRS and it was a tax thing and I was yeah, getting some whatever that you know and I told him I was like I was like can I have my attorney call you about this guy I ain't guy ain't gonna fuck this was two years ago

I was a damn lawyer I was like I was his lawyer He was fucked Yeah he was fucked I called him right afterwards I was like hey you be my lawyer for this thing this dude let me and the guy did call me back

and then I just I kept hounded him I was like all right I'll get your manager on the phone with my attorney or whatever else He finally just Because the R.S. would never call your house. No, yeah. No, right.

I got that in a voicemail. We're good. We're good. Yeah, thank you so much. Yeah, I got a voicemail from that. And like, it's just because I'm so stupid and so bad with money that, like, I legitimately was like, oh, man, I have done something. Because I've been doing comedy and, like, you know, you get paid in cash sometimes. I don't know if I did the right thing.

I'm like, I'm absolutely fucked. I'm absolutely fucked. I called my dad and he's like, you're an idiot. I'm not going to call you. over in a car and we had just we had a show the night before and I was driving around and I got a phone call and it was a recording and it said your had my bank's name and I have a small bank and I was like your blah blah blah card well I guess I can say that your TVA credit union card has been compromised please call this other number right da da da da da da I was like fucking god damn it I was hung over so I like then I called and they were like

enter your so I start entering all my numbers and then I get on my debit card to where you put in the actual pen. Yeah. And I hit the fourth button and thought, what the fuck am I doing? And I hung up and then I canceled the card immediately. Exactly. And then I checked my email and there was an email from my bank saying,

don't fuck with these phone calls. That's right. You're an idiot. Same thing when you're on the computer watching porn. It'll pop up. I mean, not me, but somebody told me. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. A porn star told you when she popped up. And so your computer has been bugged with the virus. It's why when they pop up and talk you? And then call this number immediately. Yeah. And then one time I got halfway through him going on.

Wait a minute, this doesn't sound right. Yeah. And I called my sister and said, don't talk to those people. And especially when they're from India. Have you ever had a card or something like legitimately compromised like that? Like just some random shit pop up that you have nothing to do with? You ever had that happen? No, but I had it happen at a restaurant once the guy took my...

I said, why is he taking so long to get my credit card? And next week I had an amazing amount of charges on my deal. One time I just was checking my bank account and I had all these charges. from like Korea for all my God, really? Online video game purchases on my, like hundreds of dollars worth of video game shit on the internet in Korea on my debit card. Still to this day, I ain't got a clue how that happened, but I had to cancel it, get a new card and all that stuff, whatever.

It's all kinds of ways. You know, when we call people and we have to actually give them our number and information, it can be that way sometimes. Well, the reason they do the chip now apparently, and this happened to me. Why? The chip. And they'll figure out how to fuck with this too But these people invented this machine

That when they swipe They can hit a button And the magnet sends a signal to them And they can get all your shit So that happened to me one time And they told me that it happened at Fred's Grocery Store or whatever They were they hit the stupid was doing

So over Christmas break What happened is I noticed a charge on my It just took $50 out I immediately called my bank And they said what they're doing is It's around Christmas time So everybody's spending a lot of money And they take it out in small 50

Small $50 increments So you won't notice it And I'm just like I'm poor as fuck. $50 is not a small increment. I check my shit every day to make sure I can get a goddamn cheeseburger. So luckily I call, and they refunded all my money. They do.

They have some machine and they could just boop and it suck all your shit. So now with the chip, they're saying, well, they can't do that. But we learn how to counterfeit bills every goddamn 20 years. Right, right, right, right. Do you know that chip thing, apparently, that's like, we're like the last country left in the Western world that that's not the standard. Yeah. That's like the standard in Europe and has been for like 15 years or something. They don't work here.

That's the reason that chip thing is on them, though, is because those are built standard and used everywhere. But the chip part don't work in America because we haven't even started fucking with it until lately. But most places do. We've had bigger problems recently. That's true. Yeah, the chip is the last of our goddamn problem. So, all right, well, since he kind of brought it up, this. Since you kind of brought it up, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Were you surprised about the election? I was shocked as hell, man. I said, this shit could happen. Yeah. Because the polls the same one thing, and them was going like, and plus we had our mind. made up already. Everybody's... You know, two years ago, Mr. Wallace walked around talking shit, and you got the

Republican Party, it's done. They got no ladies. They got no blacks. They got no Latinos. They got no gays. They got Asian. They got nothing. They got one Indian and a bunch of old white. And they all voted a lot to me. Apparently, unless it is rigged, I don't

know. I'm thinking, could it be rigged? I don't know. But it doesn't matter. It is what it is. And I was so disappointed on the day of. But I'm kind of quick to Justin and they go like, you know what, I still got to keep living no matter what. Right. And, you know, comedically, so it's going to work out for us. It'll be fine for us.

For America, I don't know how it's going to be, but... Do you have any worries? I have no worries. For America, not for yourself. I know George's... For an African American, we've been through a lot, slavery, discrimination, police brutality, a lot of different things have been through. And we're still going to live.

And the same thing with you guys. This is the first time white America ever felt anything like that. Whoa! What happened to us? I saw a white protest in fucking Oregon. Part of me thinks that psychologically maybe that's why we did it subconsciously. We take everything from y'all. We wanted to take feeling oppressed.

We'll let you bar it for. So everybody's still, a lot of people still little. I'm still to it. I'm not in shock, but I know I've got to deal with it. I was most concerned about more than anything else. I wasn't concerned about the Supreme Court. That's all I was going to tell you about. That's the biggest thing.

That was for me. I wish Obama would just appoint Merrick Garland right now. Well, there's a lot of legal scholars. He can't do it. He tried that already. He can. He can't appoint him, but then Congress will sue him. Then Congress will sue him.

So the way that the Constitution reads, it says that the president will nominate and appoint a Supreme Court with the, I don't remember how the word. I don't think it's support of Congress. But a lot of legal scholars are saying if they do. just refused to do it. If Congress just refuses to do it, then he can just appoint him. That there's legal precedent for that. That's not true. Otherwise, he would have done that.

You know this? You know this? I don't, yeah, I don't know. Is you the only one know this? I have a lawyer. I have a lawyer. Oh, you? Okay. Well, they are lawyers too. No, it's going to be a fight. Then Congress is going to

sue him when that happens, and then the Supreme Court, which only has eight people, would decide. Is that going to happen? Well, I hope it happens because I think it's an outside chance that Kennedy goes us. Without a doubt, without a doubt. Let me ask you a question.

You think that could happen? I do think it can happen. I think Obama thought Hillary's going to win, and that's why he didn't do it. Trey is, are you agreeing with him? That is Obama's going to appoint him? No, he won't. I didn't say he's going to do it. I'm saying, I hope he does.

And I think there's a chance. Here's what I think, listen, Obama is cold. People weren't that, the rights been calling him weak for it. He ain't weak at all. He thought Hillary's smart. He thought Hillary was going to win. So he's like, I don't even need to have this fight. Right, right.

And she can appoint someone. one way more left than Garland because Garland wasn't that left. Not at all. But then his gamble didn't work out and Trump won. And now I think he's thinking, well, I've got one fucking hand to play. Let me play it. I hope you're right. I don't know.

I hope you're right, lawyer. I don't know if I'm right, too. Because here's the issue. If it doesn't go that way, imagine in three years, Ruth Bader Ginsburg dies or retires, God forbid, knock on wood. And then we kick Trump's ass out of the White House. Republicans cannot say at the end Trump's elect term, well,

he can appoint a Supreme Court just know the fuck he can't. You said Obama couldn't do it in his last year. So now that's the, either way, we've got to hold on to the way like whatever we've ever stopped in before. Oh, yeah. He taught law. He would have known to do that, I think, right?

Well, again, I think he thought, it's a fight. It's not an automatic win. I'm not saying it's an automatic win. It's definitely a fight. And I think it's a fight he didn't think he needed because he thought Hillary was going to win. But isn't that the same thing as he just did appoint them, but it still has to be... It's not confirmed, right, but it's... They have to...

It has to be confirmed. But they can't refuse to do it. They did, see, that's the thing. They didn't deny this man. They did not deny Merrick Garland a seat. They just refused to have the hearings. And there's legal precedent that if a body in the government refuses to do its job and you have appointment power, then you can go over them.

But it's never been done at that high of a level. It's been done with lower judges. Well, I hope he doesn't. Nobody can be done. You should call him. him and tell him here, here's what you're going to do. I was calling him the night. I was like, bro, we had other things. Why are you going to ask me? He was talking to me. Yeah, we had other things.

Is he in your family? I'm sure. We were talking about, both my grandmothers had 21 kids. I've been trying to get him to fix. Really? College basketball. Okay. And, uh, 42. What'd you say? His grandma got it? Yeah. Both my grandmas had 21 kids and that's 42 kids. God. Oh, man.

So, so my family's pretty big. And we saw last week and she's pregnant right now. Like that? No. I did call her. We were trying to fix college basketball, though. That's my number one issue right now. Well, he can play. Lord, he can play.

Yeah, he can play. Duke in Kentucky every year. I'm sick of it. Y'all don't want to talk about that. Does he pick up? No. What else is going on? So we got this thing with that.

What do you guys think of what happened? I was surprised, too, because here's why mainly. Like, Corey wasn't, Corey said he thought he was going to win because, see, you got there's from. Where are you from, Corey? I'm from Chickamauga, Georgia. But my thought process on it was, like, it just kind of, started building up. I mean, on this tour, we've been

at that point, like 36 states. And I just started like, it was, what's that? You felt it? It started clicking the week of. I was like, you know, we've been everywhere, and I've seen more of his shit than I've seen her shit. I don't know that this, this ain't just the south. I was like, this is fucking, this is just

poor white people no matter what. It doesn't matter whether. It's not just poor white people. Rural. Because like, Chickamauga ain't that poor. There's poor people there. No, there's plenty of people that are. Every white people. Every demographic of white person. voted for Donald Trump. The closest that anyone came.

Uneducated, non-college educated white women, only 51% went for Trump, 49% went for Hillary. That's the closest. Sure. So educated white men, rich white men, all of them went more than 50%. My main reasoning was I just saw more of his shit

and it's like with advertising. And I know that doesn't. But obviously, election signs mean something or they wouldn't fucking do them. They wouldn't have that. I felt it because I went to school in Ohio and after the first week

I'm going like, this doesn't feel right. I said there's a lot of closeted voters out there. They will say one thing, but they're going to do the other. And I felt that and now we were talking about it. I was two weeks out and I'm going, I don't feel right about this. I just don't feel right about it. But I still thought we were going to win

because of the polls, because of the... The polls is what shocked me. The demographics. Yeah. We're supposed to do. Yeah, I mean, I always... So what surprised me about Donald Trump from the beginning? And I said this last week on Bill Marshall,

and he was kind of like, oh, really? Or he was, you know, he said, I'm surprised by that. But, you know, we've talked about it, and they agree. So, you know, I grew up in the rural South. I know a lot of rednecks. I've always self-identifies a redneck. I've grown up around rednecks my whole life. And, like, if you would have, and they say, you know, his groundswell of support,

like where he really won the election was rednecks were the equivalent of rednecks around the, you know, working class, white people, whatever. So just call them rednecks. If you would have polled rednecks like five years before he ever got into politics at all, just polled them, hey, what do you think about Donald Trump? Exactly. It would have been crazy, negative across the board. They would have been like he's a smug, silver spoon, Yankee motherfucker who thinks he's better than everybody else. Exactly.

And he needs his ass whipped. This is not the type of person that they like just in general. and that's what was so weird to me. I was like looking around and all my redneck buddies I grew up with talking about Trump and I was like man, really? This guy?

Like you're on board with this guy? And to me that says that's how desperate they were for somebody to believe some kind of champion for them. You know? That's how desperate they were is that even Donald Trump

was able to fill that role a dude that I am convinced they would have all told you unanimously they hated before he ever got into politics. You did a very good job in doing that with

Bill Mar. That was very nice and very nice, yeah. Yeah, that was wild. The whole show was very nice. You did a great job. Well, thank you. Yeah, that was a surreal moment. Corey, tell him what you did.

I got to say the story. So I went. Now, as I tell people on stage and I say, when Trey gets to do something cool in my contract, I get to be there beside him drunk. That's not what I said my contract. Yeah. So we're there and we go to the pre-show.

We're in the green room and there's Bill and there's all these people or whatever. And so they were getting ready to seat in there. And my manager was like, Corey, he's like, we're about to go in the studio to watch Tray. Come on. I said, no, I'm not going in there. I'm going to watch it in the green room. And she's like, you can take your drink with you. It's fine. I said, and I ain't about that. I know how I am when I drink. I'm going to have to pee. I'm going to have to pee.

Right, right. So just let me watch in the green room. I can hear it's the same. It's cool. I said, I've seen her. She said, if you've got to pee, just do kegill exercises. And I said, Matt, cagel exercises are for your vagina. She's like, yeah. I said, well, if I do them, it's just going to tighten up my butthole. I know how that works. and that's not going to help me if I got to pee.

I don't think that's how that shit works. And I look over to the side, and former Attorney General Eric Holder is staring at me. And he just goes, he just looks at me and he goes, oh my God, I'm so sorry. And he goes, no, no, no, that is some really good information. I didn't know, and now I do. And he started laughing. It was a very surreal moment.

Real quick, I was present for this. I just want to say, he definitely said pussy, not vagina. And that only barely changed the story, but there was just something visceral about Eric Holder walking by, and you being like, I was trying to throw your pussy. I know I was trying not to hear it from the motherfuckers whether they're going to listen to this podcast. I have been debating on whether to... Because I say vagina on stage just so.

It'll be funny and I don't have to hear it. I've been debating on whether or not to bring this up because to me it's funny either way, but I'm going to say it. Like, you know that that's wrong, right? What you said, what... Cigels. Men can do Ciggles and it works the exact same way that it does for women. It will strengthen our dick. And in fact, if you...

Well, what is the process? Teach me in the process because I have to pee four times too. You know how? You got a boner and you can make it do that? Let's do that. Really? I don't see how that would make me not have to pee. But you don't, it strengthens your dick muscles.

And then you have more control over stuff. But here's why I got to call Eric Coder. You'll still have to be able to hold it. That's why. He's giving the Attorney General the wrong information. That's a felony. That's why I'm saying this to use because it's hilarious to me because if Eric Holder, if that was true, because he goes, well, I didn't know that.

Now I do. It's hilarious. to me that now maybe former Attorney General Eric Holder is misinformed from Kegles because of your history. And that is hilarious. That is hilarious.

Yeah, I don't know, man. That didn't show. Whatever. Dudes can definitely, it's supposed to make you last longer in bed and shit too. Well, I'm still telling the joke the same way. You're supposed to practice it too. Yeah, yeah. I'm still telling the joke the same way,

except I'll say a vagina again, so I don't have to hear it. I haven't said anything to you this whole time because it was funny to me. It was funnier to me personally, knowing that you were wrong about that all right. But, yeah. I understand. Well, I'm practicing it right now. as we speak.

Yeah, I can see George's, yeah, his balls are bouncing in his pants. But what they say, if your butthole does tighten when you do it, you've got to isolate. No, you can't do your buttonhole. It's got to be the sphinx or something like, yeah, yeah. Isolate it into the wainer as much as you possibly can, or it's not as efficacious. What I love about this conversation is you two had no idea how that would work. And as soon as we, as men said, you know when you move your boner? And y'all are like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I know exactly that. We said. Well, listen, listen. The good thing about this is... What's happening? Somebody else is learning also. That's a good thing about it. It's not just...

It's a good thing. But, of course, yes. If there's one thing they remember today, one thing a man remembers, it's just tight enough. Oh, man, that's cool. Now, I've, that's one of those things that's like, I read about it every now,

and then I'm like, I need to start doing that. I'm going to start doing that, like a routine. Like going to the gym, you know, but I never fucking do that. You said, you've been saying vagina in that joke I understand that it's sexist to call someone a pussy if you mean a weak person. It's like, oh, why is a pussy a week? I don't think it's wrong.

But is calling a vagina a pussy inherently sexist? I don't think so. I don't think so at all, but to me, the story still works, and I don't want to fucking hear it. You know what I'm saying? I don't think people say that. I think they just think it's gross. I think women who don't like that word. I don't think they say it's sexist to call it a pussy.

They just think it's gross. And look, I cuss on somebody. Is it okay if you grab somebody by the pussy? No, it's not. Apparently now. It's definitely a felony. I'm Trump's America, it is. I mean, to me, I mean, if the joke still works with vagina, I just want to do that.

Just because... You feel better? No, I love saying pussy. I'm just saying, like, just, I know the, again... But you just said vagina. The joke, because the joke still works with it, and I know there's not going to be anybody. But you said pussy in the hallway, and that is what happened, and it's hilarious. It is hilarious.

I just saying the joke is going to tell you. I think you weren't too much about that. Like, you know, I'm not doing too much about pussy. Go on. Stick with vagina. That's one of the last thing that can... It still works. If it didn't work, I wouldn't do it.

Never mind. I'm not going to argue. If it only works with pussy, you're goddamn right. I'd say pussy. But if it works with vagina and I don't have to. Does it work better, though? I don't know. I've never done it with pussy.

Do pussy. There you go. Trey, can you isolate the soundbite I've never done it with pussy later and just send that to me? Corey's right. Yeah. I want to ask you, though. Yes, sir. 40 years in comedy.

Yeah. What do you think about the whole, you know, exactly the conversation? conversation we're having, he don't want to say the word pussy and the joke about a vagina because he's... Politically correct and shit like that. Flip the fuck out about it at the show or whatever, like the, you know, PC culture, all that kind of thing. What do you think about all that shit?

I'm 40 years. I'm old school, so when we grew up and trying to get on television, we only had three networks, we had to be clean. Right. So that's why certain guys come up in that school from Seinfeld to Lennel and even channeling, all of those guys that we grew up together. We're pretty much clean because we talked to be that way. But, you know, I cannot cuss all of you.

And the bottom line is funny. It's funny. Nobody did it better than Richard Pryor or even you young guys today. Funny is funny. Do what you do. Be you, no matter what it is. If it's blue, do you? Funny is funny. Bernie Macon said using that term motherfucker.

See, that's a funny bit. And he said it funnier than anybody ever. The way he said, motherfucker. And some of my bitch. Some of my bitch was a great word. I love someone. You stinking some of my bitch. You know, yeah.

He's in love with his eyes. I, you know, as I listen to Brennan Mac today, I'm putting him up there. I'm enjoying him as much as I did, Richard Cryer. I really am just to see his facial expression, you know. He was good. We've talked a lot about that. His death jam said is one of my, it's probably my favorite, like, TV. I ain't scared of you, motherfucker.

I ain't scared you, see, that was the greatest thing to say in New York City. He's coming from Chicago, because New York had that old East Coast, West Coast, wherever you're from. I ain't scared of you, motherfucker. a kid it. That's perfect. I used to try to do them. I love him. I love him. I'm going to his funeral. I'm surprised there wasn't more, especially black comedians at his film. The Kings are coming over there, but I was there in Myra J, but not many comedians. I thought there had been a lot of people at his funeral, yeah. I got a chance to talk to D.L. at length about Bernie Mac. I opened for him one night, and then he let me come back in the green room, and he's like, I know you got me questions for me and I asked him about Bernie, and I mean, he went on and on. He wouldn't shut up. But I didn't have to ask him anything.

He would just assume what I wanted to hear, and he said, that was the dude. He was, first night I met him, we were doing a show at the Beacon Theater in New York City. And he says, all right, before we go on stage, let's have a little prayer. Let's pray, let's pray. Definitely Father wants, thank you for the show tonight. Thank you so much. Having George Wallace. It's a pleasure to have him on the show.

And we just want to thank him. And be with us on our show. Make sure everybody have a good set tonight, Devin' Father. Thank you very much. God bless you. Whatever he can his brother. Then he said, okay, now come on, let's go make these motherfuckersers last. That's great

Who's your all-time favorite comedian? Can you name one? Other than George Wallace. You know what I'm supposed to know that? I'm looking at you like I'm crazy right now. You know what I think it is? It's like we have favorite.

Because like when we were born, there was a bunch of dudes that already been doing. You helped start comedy. Well, I didn't help start comedy. I'm just saying, you're 400 years. There weren't. There weren't. Was it hard to tell jokes when you were a slave joke?

There weren't really that many companies. Yeah, that's what I started, too. I heard Leno talk about starting in the late 60s. No, when he started. No, there was 50 people. You can name 50 commemian. That wasn't 50 committing money. Yeah.

I can't really name my favorite. So you're in the top 50 at the beginning, you helped start it. Well, we had, no, it was coming away 50 years, 600 years before. Oh, no, how we do it today. But there's still, there was still, you're still missing a whole era between like Bobville and what George was in. Yeah. John Rivers, you had

That's Richard Pry, Bill Cosby, yeah. George Carlin, when he started. I'm talking about club comedy. There weren't many clubs. The way we did. We just apologize for the George. They were not, there were not, there were not many clubs.

It wasn't 50. There wasn't 50 in the whole country. It wasn't even that. It was catch right and start in New York City and was a comedy store. It was improv first. No, one of the, the ice house. The ice house in like, yeah.

Is that when they started up? I may have been earlier. The club was, no, the club was. No, the club was. No, the club is older, but they did folk music. They didn't start comedy to about 74. It's when Leno started there. Yeah, but I had David Brenner.

I had a school, like you said, before, Red Fox. I had a, Sam of David's Jr., he did everything. I had Red Fox, Flip Wilson, Jackie Mom's, Mabley. These are some older black people. Oh, my God. I saw a guy around here not. Yeah, very wonderful, yeah. So that's what got me in the coming to listen, people like that,

and Wild Man, Steve. and of course Pigmate Markle Especially Now here come to Judge Here come to Judge That was Pigmeek Markham Now a lot of people think

That the Sammy Davis Jr. You did that But it was first It was Picmeek Markham We had party records Back in the day Right That's what the black kids

Just do Because black people Were on TV Right So we listen to Red Fox And everybody Yeah Shillard records

And those party records He made tons of them Because that was The thing back there And I wanted to be like him So when I got to California I wound up

riding the Red Fox show No shit. Yeah, the Red Fox show. Not Sanford and Son, but when he left Sanford, he went to a variety show. So I wrote that for a year, and then the show canceled, and I just had an opportunity to meet him and work with him, and then I went into

the coming store, and I would watch Richard Pryor. When I started, I had to follow Rich Pryor. All of us started together, Richard Pryor, you had to follow Rich Pryor, Robin Williams, so we didn't care. We had no sense. As long as I get on the fucking stage, you know. Well, we're going to bomb a war. But thank God we had to do that.

You had to follow the best to become one of the best. Leno said when he was working out, he wanted to follow Richard every night. When he was working on the Sunsetter's. Exactly. He said, I wanted to follow him. He said, because if I could get anything, I knew I was good. Exactly. And that's what we did.

And Robin was another one. I bet. All energy. What was that? Everybody always says that about, I would love to be able to go back and be in the room when he was, like, in the early 80s when he was just fire. Oh, man, he was great. He, Sam Kennison, all of those guys working in that era. And these guys, all of these guys, we mentioned Richard Pryor to come in the store,

Sam Kinnison, Robin Williams, a lot of these guys. Now, they would always, they hung out in the back of the room. Shandling, Letterman, Leno, Seinfeld, Wallace, we had to plant the room. Well, they were having a different kind of fun in the back than we were out front. And unfortunately, their fun gave them a little trouble. Well, they're not here. There's a really big difference between the guys you just named and versus the ones in the front.

Well, we're here. That's what I'm saying. Y'all is, y'all is. Y'all is still here. Yeah, yeah. Except for shandling, of course. But that was a freak thing. That was a freak thing.

That's amazing how that happened back then. Well, I don't know. I guess the drugs can get you in trouble in the long run. I'll hurt somebody like that. So I always felt bad about that. Have you always been, I guess, what's the word for it now? Clean and sober. Straight edge or whatever they call it, teetotaler?

No, no. You know what? I think I'm running in the middle. middle. Yeah. Because I definitely I'll do the political recting. Oh, the PC, I don't like that at all. But my personal knowledge allows me. You know, blind people coming in the room. Blind leader came to my show. I chewed her ass out for coming

in late. Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me. But that's my personality. I said to the blonde lady, why the hell are you coming in there late? You got somebody to show your ass around and to follow. You come in here late. I'm fucked up on stage, right? I said to the lady, and this is clean. I said, you come in here late. I said, look at all these other people here. They got here on time. I'm going, wait a second. I just

total blind lady look around. And then at the end of the night, she was having somebody, and she was standing on this point. I said, you ain't that damn blind because you're pointing straight at me. And at the end of the night, I put it in my booth, she had so much fun. She had so much fun. I said, you are just the best. I want to thank you. I hope you had a good time tonight. And I'm right off the bat,

and I'm going to give you my brand new DVD. And then, oh, shit. I'm going to give her a lady, a blind lady, a DVD. I do what I was. I love to talk about people. Wheelchairs. I don't give a I don't give a fuck you become in my room.

Everybody wants to be talked about. Everybody wants to have fun, you know? I was talking about the handicapped parking space at Home Depot. When the last time you've seen somebody in a wheelchair, give me three sheets of plywood up there, some shit like that. And when I walked off stage,

a guy pulled up to me in his little chair, where you call that little scooter? He had a m-as-a-over-round? Yeah, he had a lot of round. That was a real $250, $250,000. $250,000. And he pulled up. what you call, MS?

Yeah. Middle of why, I don't kick your ass by dead, and they're joking on a weird judge. So it was not a fun, you know? When people know you're having fun and you're genuine and... I think for you, that's treating them like equals, right? Exactly. That's how you treat everybody.

I think a lot of people like that are used to people, you know, walking on eggshells around them and shit about that kind of thing and don't like it. So when you do that kind of thing, they love the hell out of it because you're like... Like Drew, you're treating him like everybody else. I've got no states and people come up to me and say you didn't say nothing about the Irish. They were mad.

I know a guy with MS and I won't say his name because he keeps that private. And on whatever, no, he doesn't want anyone to treat him. He doesn't want to be led along or, oh, we better do this or blah, blah. He just, like, I think this is me and a handful of people know because we were his best friends. I'm not trying to make fun of him. How do you keep that? I thought the whole thing with that was. It's degenerative, right?

It's not. It's not there. One day, there will be no choice but for everybody. As for right now, he's, does infusions order. Right. God, I'm just so ignorant. Well, no, I would have been too, but one day it could. And now they're making advances, and I've seen some cool things come up.

We share articles and stuff. But, you know, again, he's like, I don't, don't fucking, you know, I don't want anybody to know. Trey, what was your question about comedy then and how it has changed or growing? Was that where you're going on that? I meant like, well, the not, comedy and comedians more so like hell not even the crowds in the shows a lot of times but just people on the internet whatever like the show said like I think it was Jerry Seinfeld said he's the one

that said he won't do colleges right him all those kids today are like you can't joke about shit they get offended and you know that seems to me at least to be like kind of a newer thing I've never really and you guys thought like liberal redneck a lot of people at our shows frankly are kind of that crowd's what Corey's talking about earlier and I want to say pussy and but I try not to give a fuck like I try to do the joke you got to be you I would do it exactly yeah don't if the joke only worked with pussy I swear to you I'd try it and it'd be fine but I know it works I knew it would work with vagina so I just don't want to go down this goddamn road do you give a fuck about that stuff yeah how do you do you think I don't know does that

bother you that people are all that way or you're just like I whatever the reason that doesn't bother me is because I do me right you got to do you right right just be you whatever you do and people got to love to see anything you know there's a market for everything. I don't give a fuck who you are. There's a market for you. You may not like me. Some people don't like Andrew Dynchley when he was big. And he says, well, I didn't care for his company either, but he's filling out of fucking stadium.

Yeah. So business wise, bring that motherfucker to me. We got a buddy. Yeah, right? Yeah, we got a buddy who. That's his favorite dude, right? And let's his favorite. But it's a different type market, but you guys got a different audience than I do. Right. And it's different. And funny, it's funny. So if you have a market for what you do,

and you're selling out, do it? Do you know? Some people don't like carrot top. Do you know? You ever heard that? Yeah, but he's a proff coming. He's got props. Well, what fucking difference does that matter to you? But do you think... But I think it difference there.

Hold on. People say, I don't like carrot top. And then it's like, all right, well, then don't go see him. And he's still going to do his thing. I think, maybe I'm wrong. This is why I guess I'm curious if you have any opinions on is with Twitter, with the internet, it seems to be that we are trying to, let's get already laying fired. Let's get, you know, it's like, instead of people being like, well, that's not for me.

A lot of people are trying to end it. They want to get the person fired. I want that guy to never work again because he hurt my goddamn feeling. And then there's... I want his career over. One thing is relatively recent phenomenon that's related to that is... Dan Cook went through it. Daniel Tosh went through.

Probably a couple other guys. So, like, they'll just be at the club working some new shit out or whatever. But now there's somebody in the room with a phone and they're filming it. And then they get a heckler and they get... So, you know, they go after them and it don't, you know, it don't work. Like you wanted to as a comment. But that shit happens. Right.

Sometimes when you go after a heckler, you accidentally... Colorado to the Diff or whatever. And without comics, too. And so that shit happens as a comedian, but now somebody's got it on tape. Yes. And then somebody else writes a blog about it, whatever else, and now it's like Comedy Central should fire Daniel Tosh.

And that's the wildest thing too. Making fun of rape or whatever. Right. And it's not. Daniel Tosh was one of the biggest college comics. And he... What happened to him? They just...

He's cut him. He still has a show. Yeah, he's still fine. He sells out theater. But if people our age, who were in college when he was big. He can't do college campus as a minor family. He can't do college campus. He's not only is offensive.

He tries to be offensive, which is awesome. That was him. He goes out of his way to do that, but he was huge. And then like somehow, five years later, just in five years, it's like, he could, that motherfucker, you could not put him on a college stage because they'd be like, that was a microaggression and da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da and all this shit. Well, people have their opinions. It's kind of like there's some haters for Kevin, Kevin Hart right now. Right.

Because he's blowing up so being so, well, I don't know. He's doing this. He's doing that. I don't know why they're, we call them haters. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've got some haters, believe. You think you have some haters?

Oh, my God. Just because of your point of abuse? Oh, yeah. Really? Oh, yeah. I bet you do, don't you? Yeah. You know, stereotypical rednecks or whatever.

Yeah. Oh, it's fine. That's what I'm getting that. Those kind of help. But that's what I'm saying. That's a different thing. If someone gets online and says, Trey Crowder is faking it or he's a liberal piece of shit or whatever,

and then his fans attack them, and then like, that's good. That's a good thing. But when people are saying, we want to get already laying fired, just as one example, and it works. And maybe he deserved to get fired. He said some fucked up shit. But it's a different, like, I'm just wondering if that's different. If that's new, it seems new.

It is new. We never had it before. John Rivers insulted everybody. Right. So that Don Rickles. Right, right. He still does. He still does, right?

And you're going to let him get away. He's 80, he's 85 years old. Old people have always been able to get away with the third. No, no, I think it's your personality. I think it's you. Like I said, I'm talking to, I'm talking to a blind lady. Who the fuck I'm telling the lady? You fucking come in him late.

What I try to do is, I get myself shit. the first 10 minutes on stage, I talk shit about myself. And then after that, they're like, well, he talked shit about himself. Let him say whatever he wants. That's how I've always felt. Well, that means you have, in some way, you really relate to the audience. That's all you got to do. We all. You want to us. Yeah, we all suck.

Yeah, you want to us. What about the, you know, the drugs and all that shit? That never had... I've never done any drug. It had nothing to do with comedy. I just never did any drug before. Right. I didn't. Including alcohol in that? I tried it.

Yeah? Yeah. I drink... socially. But what happened to me is I don't ever want to be not knowing who I am out of control of myself. That's what I'm afraid of.

Even when I was a young guy, I would never drink more than four drinks at a club when I was in my 20s. Because I start, if I don't think I'm in control of myself, then I want to be quiet, dude. I'm not going to get, I'm completely opposite.

I'm going like, I'm saying nothing to nobody. Right. But I just never, I tell you what, my drug is the state. I am hooked up there. People don't realize it's better than sex, it's better than drugs. When you get off that stage and you get that high, man, people, there's nothing better than that. You got people, there's thousands of people who to fuck you.

Well, they know you, but you don't know them, but they paid to see you. This was amazing. You're doctors. You just went up there and just treated a lot of patients at the same time, making people feel good. Forget about their financial problems. The greatest thing we can do, you ever get off the stage in somebody and said, I haven't laughed. Yes. My husband died three years ago.

I needed that. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. The lady tweeted us last night that she came so much, she came. And I was like, I know she's kidding, but at the same time, the fact that she went to Twitter to say that, that means that it did give her a good night. Well, laughter is the best medicine in the world. And I tell you, when people appreciate you like that, they never forget you. It's the greatest thing in the world to do, and not everybody can do what we do.

No, you're either funny or you're not, man. Even some people that are fun. There's plenty of people out there that are funny people that are funny people that are, still can't do that. That's my favorite thing. Well, my favorite thing about it is, of course, doing it, but my favorite fact about stand-up comic is knowing how hard it is. Yeah.

And that I can do it anymore. It's the hardest form of entertainment that you can do about arched barn. I know it is because we've kind of argued about that before. And I always was on that. We talked about music and stuff. And Drew was like, no. No. Well, let me tell you with music.

Let me tell you with music. You can hit a note. You can hit a wrong note in music. Nobody will ever know because you go. I talk for cover it up. I talk to cover it. If I fuck up, there's eight other dudes here. They're up there together.

And then when you're back, and you're up there alone, it's just you. And the microphone. And the microphone. And that joke you told, if it didn't go over, you got to have balls and babies and say, let me move on. Yeah.

But it can be. I still think it's music. Because can't nobody at this table play no music. And if you could, why don't you do it? Hey, listen. You ask every musician what they'd like to do it. Right. That's true.

They'd love to. be a comment. But most comics wish they could be the front man of a band. Listen to me. Listen to me. When you can make people laugh, that's the greatest gift in the world. And people can sing, they can't sing. But you can't tell jokes.

If you're not funny. Exactly. Well, that's not true. Because people go up there and sing and they suck. Everyone's like, ugh, that's gross. Get them out of here. Well, I've, y'all been to an open mic? No, no, no, no. I've seen some people who can't tell jokes. Well, I'm talking about to make it. They're not professional. They don't make it.

People who can't sing. Yeah, that Bob Dylan can't sing. Connor O'Brien can say. Oh, that's true. What the fuck. You can write a song. But they can play guitar. They can play guitar.

Go on. He'll admit to you. He's one of my favorite singer-songwriter. He can't sing worth the fuck. But can he play guitar? Okay. He just writes good Texas country songs. I don't know who he is.

There's no job. Drew, there is no job tougher than a comedian. George Wallace, Drew. I said that he'll say it too. Let somebody say something about a comedian. He'll defend them. That's absolutely. Well, that's he'll defend anything.

He's a goddamn lawyer. I've always thought since before I ever did it, I always thought it was like one of the purists or whatever art forms there is because of the fact that there's nothing. It's just the artist, the entertainer, and a microphone. Hell, you don't even have to have the microphone,

but ideally you don't even have to have the microphone, then you've got to control of 300 people. That's it. That's all there is. That's all there is in the whole thing. Again, I thought that before I even did it though. I really did. Like that, because that's...

What satisfies you more than anything else? piece of pussy no I got a show in 15 minutes I got to get to that stage drugs I don't care what it is I got to get to that stage it's the greatest thing in the world it's kind of like the four of us in here right now just ready to go to work how many people you know ready to go to work right fucking now right how many that's true no most people hate what they do and you know we and obviously you could answer this question too but we've already answered it but we met so we met some musician heroes of ours recently

They're in a southern rock band. And Drew asked one of the front men. We had just watched them play. And he was like, they've been doing it for 20 years. Yeah, and he was like, so let me ask you, man, because I'm worried about this sometimes. What y'all just did when you're out there on the stage doing that. He's like, I know the rest of this shit can get old, you know, dealing with industry,

all the backstage bullshit, all that kind of stuff can suck. But does that ever get old? Does that ever go away? And the guy looked at him like, fuck no, man. He was like, that. What do you say? He said, listen, you know how you can be married and that can go bad and your marriage can suck, but it still feels really good if she sucks your dick?

I just got my dick sucked for an hour and a half. That's what happened to us. And that never gets old. So him saying that, we're like, well, that's good to hear. Encouraging. Yeah. It wouldn't feel like shit or whatever, one all day long. But then as soon as I actually walk out there, though, fine.

How about that? How about that? It's weird. You can be sick. be sick. Yeah. I've been sick for like a week. We were in Vermont. I was sick as fuck. I went to do a show. And yeah, and while I was on stage, it was...

I've been on stage. I had a good, but I had a good set. One time I had a headache was so bad, I went on stage and just killed. I walked off the headaches. He said, okay. I'm back with you. Yeah, I'll give a fuck. Anytime I ain't... I don't care what I do when I hit the stage, especially when I don't know what I'm doing. If I'm doing some new jokes, I really get off on that. That's the best thing in the world.

Oh, yeah. in the world. It is. Well, you know what? I think that's a pretty good note to end on. We told you we don't take an hour. We didn't do anything. We didn't talk about anything. That's okay. We talked about a little bit. Did we get anything deep? Oh, yeah. We talked about the elections a little bit. We didn't really get into it a lot. We kind of like to take a break from the deep every now. It seems like we do it a lot. Well, everybody has done the deep, yeah. But enjoying life is most important. And that's what we are doing as comedians, enjoying life and delivering a strong medicine. And the good thing about

laughter is spring medicine and that's why we encourage all of our people to overdose on laughter. Well, you said that word joy you are a very joyous person and you make other people feel joy. I'm sitting here and I'm beaming and they can tell you I'm a cynical asshole but I'm just sitting here beaming like please well it should be. I mean I've got to say

we want this. I'm curious if it's always been like that for you. Yes because I'm one of the most blessed people you ever met and I told you that earlier. I've had everything I've done everything I wanted to do. Man to be able to go on stage I'm what all of us. Who are we? And my mind is made up.

I know every career has a different path. It's like you can't worry about who's making more money than you, who's doing better than you. It doesn't matter. You know, you're going on top of the mountain. As long as you're just going up the mountain. You don't have to be on top of the mountain. I got enough money to retire, do anything I want to do.

My best friend's got to do you dollars. Especially if you sell some of the damn houses you guys. You won't even say it. But it's kind of like, you've seen some comedians are jealous of other people. What did he make and he didn't make it again? Must up. Well, you don't have to be like that. You're still doing well.

Tell your daddy how much money you're making the night. Right. Right. You tell your daddy, I don't know what your daddy did, but just tell me you making $500 a night and he goes in the night. Yeah. That's how good you're doing. You're blessed.

It's just amazing. It was interesting. Me and my friend, one of our favorite shows is Scrubs. Okay. And you were on that. You saw me on Scrubs. And I'd met you. And I'd seen that episode, but then I'd met you since last in my side.

So we were watching it together the other day. And I said, and I saw you played the Reverend on that. And you met him. What is he like? I said, I'd never realized it. until now, that's what he's like. You played your goddamn self. That's what I did.

They gave me the part. They did what you want to do. They did the same thing with Morgan Freeman. The guy says, Rob Shelton, whatever's the name. He did white men can't jump. He did a lot of other movies, too. But he says, there's not a lot of lines,

but you want to make up, just throw them in there. That's what I did. Yeah. They hired me to be me. You literally said, it's one of your lines I've heard you say before is, I love him. There's absolutely nothing you can do about it. Yeah, I close the show with that.

Yeah. George Wallace could have been a preacher. He could have been a sweet brother. I do that on stage sometime. I should, because I talk about Joe Austin, which is a big, I consider him one of the better comedians in the world. I tell people that. He's a good friend of mine. Oh, really?

Yeah, he comes to my show and everything. He just, he's a great guy. Osteen is a great guy, man. He does what we do. He never starts to, what does he say every morning? I like to start out with a little funny story. Duh, the comedy sells his show. people love to be happy.

Does he get offended when you say that to him? The comedy sells this show? No, no, that's not. He just knows one of the first thing he's doing. He knows what he's doing. He's having fun. And I say sometimes most things I say, you know what, I should have been a preacher.

Make me some real money. My dad is a free of around. I think that all the time. If I didn't have any morals, I feel like I give, because I mean, I don't believe it enough to go that. But yeah, you can make the most money doing that, and they can't tax you. Isn't that amazing?

But look, what Joel does. He's a nice guy, nice looking guy, goes out there and smile. And he's always smile. and blinking and shit. That's him trying to keep his skin on. I've always thought. He's a lizard.

He's been embarrassed. He's a shy guy, and that's why he's blinking and going. But look what he does to the world. The people love him. He's doing stadiums. I know. Yankee stadiums. It's crazy.

There's a whole show. I want to show in Las Vegas, and the music is, if you got a chance to show. Why don't you do that? Oh, I can't do that. What? I'm not into.

He's a comedian. I'm a comedian, you know. That's what I'm saying. That's what bothers me about some of those guys. He's your friend. I'm not getting sold him personally. But just like the idea, people go to his show, they think that their life,

that he's going to give him some secret. I know when they're coming to mine, I hope they just want me to make them laugh. Well, that could be a secret. That they got something from you. You'd be a secret, be whatever. You gave them some joy. You gave them some laughter.

You give them some happiness. Joel Osteen is just the reason I can't do it. Because I don't think it's a place to bullshit. I mean, I think if you're doing something for God, you've got to be serious. Right. Because I can, you know, when I go to church, I get saved every Sunday. And when I get in the park, I'm like, you cut me off that bitch.

So you got to be committed when you get into it, I think, also, you know, because I don't know anything. I'm from the South. I went to church so much if I never go again in my life. It's in me. Yeah. I love it. Yeah. Yeah.

It's in me. But being a minister is a whole different story. I can't be no damn minister. What the hell are you talking about? You know, people come to you with their problems and shit with their marriage, with their marriage and whatever. You know, pastor and people died. you got to preach the field. I can't do that shit. My dad is a minister, but like of small churches.

He doesn't trust those TV ministers. He thinks they're all full of shit. That's their point of view. You know, that's why I say, I think you should, that's why I don't, do you? Right. And I don't worry about who. Yeah, he didn't talk about it all day. When I ask him, he says that.

He's not sitting around mad about it. A lot of people like that. I go to one of the biggest churches in Los Angeles. West Angeles Church of God in Christ. Actually, the biggest black denomination in the world. but the preachers, some preachers don't like him because he's too big. Some people don't like him. Some of the preachers in our own church.

I just left the congregation last week up in St. Louis, Missouri. We said our own church. I said, I own a church. I was like, you can do that? I should. I can get the taxi duct. Because there's a church of laughter. You can consider yourself.

Let's start our own religion, boys. Shit, we could. Church of laughter. Listen, that's all you got to do. You're a man. No, I could be a deacon. Yeah, okay. He'll be the deacon.

I get to handle the money. That's great. Thank you, George. Thank you so much. But that's amazing. I was talking about those preachers like that. Yeah. It's your dad to,

because you've got to do funnels. That's a tough job. I can never do that. Oh, my dad has more integrity than anybody. I know. He just also was a hateful man. But I think he came by it honest. You know what I mean?

He said he's a minister. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. He can't be a minister and be hailed. You know what? Haiful is not the right word, because that's Cromagony I'll go

hopeful All right I think wins all right thank you everybody to see you next time well