wellRED podcast - #53 - wellRED PODCAST ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY!! (Get Busy Hittin Or Get Busy Dyin)

Episode Date: February 7, 2018

Holy shit, y'all!!! We made it a whole year! Thank you so much for tuning in and making that possible!This very special episode is a celebration of all the hits that have occurred in the past 52 weeks!We talk about our favorite guests, we RAP, Mr. Butt makes an appearance... its a whole shebang! Share with your friends and leave us a review! Love ya, skewww! Go here to get a hittin Toothbrush from our sponsors at QUIP! And as always, go to wellREDcomedy.com for all our tour dates and to pick up a copy of our Best Selling book!

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion. Because used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie. I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now. Skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people. People across the ske universe, I should say. Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year?

Do you even know? Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery? Getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low main? Because that's the thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better. and it's called Rocket Money.

Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket Money shows all your expenses in one place, including subscriptions you already forgot about. If you see a subscription, you don't want anymore, Rocket Money will help you cancel it.

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I used Rocket Money and realized that I had apparently been paying for two different language learning services that I just wasn't using. So I was like, I should know Spanish. I'll learn Spanish. and I've just been paying to learn Spanish without practicing any Spanish for, you know, pertinent two years now or something like that. Also, a fun one, I'd said it before,

but I got an app, lovely little app where you could, you know, put your friend's faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies. You know, those weren't a little like the Q-ball looking twin fellas. Yeah.

So that was money. What was that a reply gift for? Just when I did something stupid. Something fat, I think, and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first. But then I quit using it and was still paying for it and forgotten. If it wasn't for Rocket Money, I never would have even figured it out.

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They're the. Good evening and welcome to all farts considered the one year anniversary of the well read podcast. My name is Tristan McDowell filling in for Angelique Morrison who is on leave covering the mating habits of Trump supporters in Paducah, Kentucky. This episode will serve as a one-year review of our comrades in arms, the boys of the well-read comedy tour, as they leapt into the podcasting arena and unsurprisingly took the world by storm. As time goes on, it truly seems as though there is simply nothing they cannot excel at. Like most works of art in motion, the podcast has evolved over time, from timely

interviews about Southern culture and political discourse, breaking down walls surrounding race, religion, culture, and sexual fluidity, the boys finally hit their stride with the inception of everyone's favorite recurring correspondent, Mr. Butt. What seemed at first to just be an innocent and drunken fart from Trey while on tour in Canada turned out to be a pop culture phenomenon, and while I'm sure the boys, as modest as they are, would never admit an extremely refreshing and prescient voice for expressing so many people's

feelings on current political climate. We are joined now by the chief hidden officer himself, the thuggish ruggish show, to discuss the significance and meaning behind Mr. Butt. Corey, thank you

for joining us. Hey, Tristan, I'm sorry I'm having to do this from a cell phone while driving. Hope y'all can hear me. What's going on? Everybody's skew! Loud and clear, Corey. How are you today? I'm good, buddy, just listening to a little music over here. Oh, yes, and I'm sure coming from someone on the well-read tour, someone of your intellect, I would have to assume you were listening to something challenging, perhaps Dylan, maybe early Morrissey,

or are you more of a classic music in the morning type person like myself? Actually, I'm listening to Two Chains right now. You may know him as Titty Boy. Oh, well, actually, yes. His latest Pretty Girls Like Trap Music has actually received critical acclaim, and for you to know that, shows how well you fill the pulse of your southern culture. Oh, no, this one actually, this is the one where he's talking about wanting a big booty hoe for his birthday, but, yeah, no, that's pretty dope, too. Well, we all deserve to give our brains a break from time to time,

and as overworked as yours is, you deserve a break more than anyone. It takes a special talent to recognize that. What I wanted to discuss with you today is what some were referring to as the greatest and most timely piece of social commentary since perhaps the last five George Carlin specials. I, of course, I'm talking about Mr. Butt. Yeah, yeah, what do you want to know? Well, when conceptualizing Mr. Butt, were you aware of what was going to happen next? What do you mean, buddy? Well, it's just so remarkable how you can make a comment on something as complex as the ever-changing political climate,

especially in a time where our country, for whatever reason, seems to be more divided than it has ever been. To satirize that so succinctly with a multi-layered character like Mr. Butt is societal parody done at a level I'm not sure we will ever experience again. Oh, shit. Is that what y'all think we're doing? Well, forgive me, but what else could it be? Shit, man, I mean, dude, you know, sometimes we got a fart, and we're usually drunk, and so we just do it into the mic, taking it's funny, and then, like, you know, we usually sober up and feel pretty shitty about it. But I also am the one who has to edit the podcast, and I'm usually too hung over to do it.

So, you know, just never, hey, man, dude, I hate to do this, but I got to go. My favorite line's coming up, and I don't want to miss it. She got a big booty, so I call a big booty. Scort, skit! That was Corey Ryan Forster, everyone, and like always, making the group's brilliance seem effortless and almost accidental. Please enjoy this one-year anniversary edition of the podcast. I have listened to it, and I will just say this off top.

If you have issue with three grown men sitting around and essentially jerking each other off verbally and trying to get their heads even further up their own butts than they already are, this podcast may not be for you. But what am I saying? we are all pretentious liberals here. That's our favorite thing. I'm Tristan McDowell. Enjoy episode number 53 of the Well Red podcast.

Well, well. That's right, everybody. It is the one-year anniversary of the podcast. This is the thuggish, ruggish show. You know what to do for tour dates. W-E-L-L-R-E-D Comedy.com. Well-red comedy.com. Spelled just like the podcast.

We're going to be everywhere. We're about to hit the road for Texas. Super pumped. for this year anniversary episode. Thank you to everybody who's made it possible. Thank you for download and thank you for subscribing. Thank you for telling your friends. And thank you for leaving us some hit and ass reviews that have kept us in the iTunes charts.

We sincerely appreciate it. It's been fun and I hope we get to do it for several more years. And once again from the bottom of our heart, thank you so much. The Year Anniversary Podcast, it wouldn't be good to start it out unless we did it with a voicemail I got this morning from none other than Drew Morgan. So I'm going to let Drew start this thing off with a very hilarious neurotic voicemail that I got from the man.

So check her out. Love you. Skew. What's up everybody? It's the thuggish-ruggish-chow aka Cofo, aka C-Money with the Honey Bunny. I'm not here right now. Probably drunk or taking a shit. Leave me a message. I'll call you back.

Love you. Bye. Hey, Corey. What are you doing? Man, I'm nervous about all this house stuff. We've got the inspector tomorrow. I want to buy the house. I'm just so scared. Man, I don't know, too.

I was thinking about this. I don't know if you've ever done anything, you know, super adult other than pull out. We appreciate that. But, like, I finally understand mansplaining. I mean, like, I already understood it. But, like, I get it, like, for me now. All the dudes in my life. life want to give me advice I didn't ask for you know and like my dad like I asked my dad for advice

of course and like my father-in-law my brother-in-law they work on houses that's cool but like dude it's every dude in my life it's my mechanic it's my neighbor it's the mailman it's a guy who overheard me talking about buying a house on the phone it's this dude I went to a Halloween party with in 08 he was dressed like a plumber so maybe that checks out but it's like guys I don't know you stop telling me stuff about houses well what kind of foundation does it got have you Have you checked the foundation? How the fuck am I supposed to check a foundation? I don't know how to do that. I'm a lawyer and a comedian. Two of the most worthless things in the whole world. That's why I'm buying the inspector. That's why I pay him for. What kind of roof does it got? Does it got a good roof? You know, you need to check the PVC pipe under the house. You got good heat. You need that gas heat. You got to get that natural gas heat. Have you checked the slope? What about that? What are you building on? How's your neighbors? What are they like? Now, one thing to think about, Drew, can you grow into the house with your family? family. Does it have good insurance? Are you inside the city limits? Have you thought about licking the westward facing wall to see if it's moist inside the kitchen and then you do the hokey

and you turn yourself around and I'll tell you what if you're facing east after that you've got yourself a good house buddy. What kind of heat though? Does it have gas heat? You need to work on does it have hardwood floors? You need to check the walls. You need to do all this. But for God's sakes you're going to freeze to death. Does it have good hate? I don't know the ant. to any of this and neither to you you're just talking out of your ass my brother my own brother and he's sweet of him to be concerned man I love it but he's in prison and I'm not making fun of that but it's like he's sitting there like what kind of interest rate did you get are you gonna put 10% down or 20% down if you

can put 20% down you should put 20% down you got to put 20% down 20% down what about you got to do 85% of the sentence that they gave you long don't you let me worry about the interest rate I don't know what the interest rate is I'm so white trashed Oh, God, it's going to go bad. I want it. I want this house. I'm just nervous.

This inspector is going to come back, and he's going to be like, well, Drew, everything looks great on the house, and then the earth found out you wanted it, so a sinkhole opened up and swallowed it. The house is underground now, since it's technically not damaged, the contract stands, and you have to buy it. Anyway, you want to pay me by check? It's a lovely house. Hope we get it, have you over for barbecues. It's got a big backyard. They said that one of the neighbors is Ashley Capps.

I don't know if you know who that is. He's a guy who started Bonaroo. So that's pretty cool. I've been thinking about Bonaroo. Dude, when are they going to announce a comedy lineup? I want it so bad. If we don't get it, I'm going to light myself on fire like one of them monks in Tibet. That's how I should die anyway.

I look good in flames. I mean, what more could we do, dude? Like, we're funny. We got heat right now. Gas heat. I mean, we're from Tennessee. We're killing it. Like, we make sense.

Dude, I wrote about him in the damn book. I wrote about Bonnaroo in the farm in the damn book. What could they want from us? The only thing they could say is like, oh, well, you guys don't have a lot of, you know, super young fans. Okay. Well, then why did you get Eminem the headline? Eminem's best song is about a letter from a fan. Do you think young kids know what letters are?

They don't. Dude, the comedy tent is for people to come down off drugs or to take a nap. You tell me that ain't our demographic. We come down off drugs and take naps literally all the time. All the time, dude. And don't tell me there ain't 30 and 40-year-olds at Montero. There's got to be. You've got to have a mortgage to afford a damn ticket.

And the 30-and-40-year-olds go to the comedy tent. They do, man. They have to get away from all the flashing lights because they're afraid they're going to have a damn seizure. And the comedy tent's the only place where somebody knows how to work on someone's having a fucking stroke. Out there with all them stinky hippies. Tell me I can't entertain a hippie. My wife's a hippie.

How do you think I tricked her to marrying me? Yeah, it wasn't my jawline. I mean, that was part of it. But mostly, I'm entertaining her. You know what I mean? And then the EDM kids, the EDM kids got to love us. They have to love comedy. Have you seen the way they dress?

They have senses of humor, dude. We can entertain the people at Bonnaroo. One time I was at Bonaroo, this dude was in an acid-fueled stupor, facing away from the stage. Chance the rapper started covering Biggie Smalls. This guy came to, popped up off the ground. He looked like a juggalo dressed. in a sarong, turned around and started freaking out because he thought Biggie Smalls had come back

to life. Started crying wild dancing. He looked like one of your aunts when she caught the Holy Ghost down at the church at the revival. You tell me I can't entertain that guy. I've been entertaining people like that my whole damn life. We should have been rappers, Corey. God had to hit more. Should have been a rapper.

Just like Pastor Troy, I'd be sipping on some lane. be my hype man saying yeah boy still in them old gal's hearts just like mr butt should have been a rapper we should have been rappers dude we could still old gal's hearts old gal's hearts i'm about to start i'm about to chart i'm about to quit comedy and be the first rapper that farts mr bud on the track and we ain't holding back Put comedy on hold, because I'm gonna be right back. I'm about to flip the script. We can tell the fans that I dipped. Two scoops in this bitch.

My two boots make it hit. I'm gonna make a rap hit. I'm just talking rap shit. Corey, I can't rap. My flow ain't tight. My skin is white. I'm old as balls and I have a wife. I can't be a rapper.

You got a better shot of being a model for a hair pomade company called dapper. You old bald, motherfucker. This ship has sailed. I feel like we failed. I don't have flashy raps. I want to play bonnet. but instead I'm gonna be neighbors with Ashley Capps and that's a sadly fact. Now Corey, just listen to this.

I'm about to get emotional like Tom Brady Witt kissing his kids on the lips. I just want to rock shows and expose souls like Nick Foles, exposed to old pets and the Super Bowls. I want to tell these hoes about the New South with my big mouth and although I got soft flows, I got hard jokes. They're layered like a fucking plate of nachos with you and tray-necked pouring cheese down each other's a lot of throats, being like, hey, Bonnaroo, is this a dope show?

I'm dressed like Marilyn Manson, killing Hansen out of Costco. I don't know what that would be. I feel like it'd be better, like a dad jeans, but they're made out of leather. I don't know. This is how my thoughts go. Stressing about it all the time we've spent, all the acts and the fans and all the expense that Bonnaroo spends in a year on the rent for the truck to fix the dents and put up a new fence and pay live nation's CEO and their vice president.

And by the way, fuck Mike Pence. But since, y'all spend all these dollars and cents on this dope-ass event, can you not leave the side door open of the comedy tent so well-red could sneak in? Fuck! Bonnaroo, I love you. I don't mean no harm. Just that these country boys and girls are trying to get down on the farm. And Corey, look, man, I ain't stupid.

If Bonaroo could respond, they'd probably be like, look, Drew. You want to play Bonarue with the well-red crew? Well, so does everyone else, too. You should have been a rapper. But you got one fatal flaw with y'all and surprising it ain't that you're fat-faced with dopey teeth. It's that you just referenced Tim McGraw on a rap you made up about Toby Keith. I should have been a lawyer. Man, I just made myself sad, Corey.

Goodbye. Ha, it's my buddy Drew spitting that truth that everybody else is afraid to. Here we go, baby. Well read, one year in, the anniversary show. Let's do it. Skew! well well 17

oh I actually I would like to talk about we're recording yeah all right by hey what okay by the time

this is playing in their ears Corey will it have already been established will there be other shit before it they'll know that this is not the very beginning I always skip through your part so anyway so anyway

happy anniversary idiots it's the one year anniversary of this storied beloved podcast we were going to do like a year in review type thing are we going to start at the present and move backwards we're going to jump all over the place

I mean I feel like we're starting in the past because Trey has questions and don't know shit so it's just like the whole goddamn ear what do you think Corey? Yes I ask because I would very much like to talk about something that happened to me very recently

Well, no, I'm saying we were going to walk. I would like to do a year interview, but we can open with a recent story. Sure. Go ahead. Okay. We can do the year interview later. Your year interview was going to start a year ago and work up to now, not go the other direction. Start here and move back.

No, yeah, yeah, you're right. And with which one? What? Which one is it? Which one are we going to do? Start a year ago and move up or start now and move back? Yeah, I was going to do the second one. one. The second one. Start now and move back.

No, I'm fucking with you. I was going to do the first one. I mean, it's your fault, because that's a ridiculous question. A year in review starts a year ago. You don't start last week on a year in review. I don't see how that's any less valid at all. Also, I feel like this is appropriate. Really? Yeah, I felt like that is.

Corey, if you did a year in review, would you start yesterday and worked your way back, or would you go a year ago and work your way forward? There's plenty of other ways to do it. A year ago and working my way forward. You could also. Really? Just literally to piss you off. No, I don't know. I'm not angry. You could rank moments by hittingness and not even be chronologically.

I didn't think we'd have to be linear about nothing, just whatever hits come to your mind. He thought something totally different. No, he didn't. He just literally said, I didn't think we had to do anything. No, whatever hits come with your mind, I would like to start. Spontaneous hits. Go ahead. Because it's like arguably the most hitting thing that has happened to me, period.

Are you talking about the book? Morgan. So, and I, yeah, a lot of y'all listen to this, I'm sure probably saw it. because I made a short little reaction video about it. But last Sunday, I believe it was, it was like, what is today, Drew? The 20, what is today? January, the fucking 28th.

So one week ago, I believe it was, Sunday, January 21st. I'm sitting home with my wife. We're watching that show Billions because of your recommendation. And we've been digging it. So we're sitting there watching billions. I had hit my marijuana vape pan a few times, like literally had just done that. So like the stonedness has only begun to set in to me. My phone vibrates.

I look down at it and it's from our manager, Nat, and it says, apparently Morgan Freeman just mentioned Trey in an interview that he was doing on his Facebook page. Dot, dot, dot. I'm in the car on my way to a work thing. I don't have time to find it right now. but that apparently happened which is how all of her texts end right and uh

so I got and then when she sent that and I started looking because I hadn't been paying attention to my phone watching show my wife hi whatever but she said that and I started looking at my phone and had all these notifications from Facebook and Twitter and shit from people tweeting at me and sending me messages stuff saying that

so I was like what the fuck and dude I thought I was like okay I don't think they misheard him or whatever, but I bet it was probably some very quick, like, you know, offhand reference, part of like a longer list of something, whatever, you know what I mean? He probably just said, like, you ever see him? Like, Morgan Freeman.

Like, liberal redneck video, like, whatever, just that type of thing. And he was like, yeah, I like those. Yeah, right. Or he, like, was like, here's some people I like, and you were one of ten. One of ten. And, again, if you, you know, there's that liberal redneck guy, he's okay. I also love, you know, whoever. That's what I was expecting.

So I go to the video and what the video. video was was it was on his own Facebook page. It was a Facebook live video that he was streaming to his own fan page for his fans and his fans were in asking him questions and the guy holding the camera was reading the fan questions

and by the way he was while doing that he was in a car on his way to the SAG Awards to accept the Lifetime Achievement Award because he's fucking Morgan free. I'd actually kind of surprised me I figured he'd already got it would have already gotten it

He's a lifetime achiever. Yeah. So that's the context. I turn it on and watching the video. My Lifetime Achievement Award will be for being on the Lifetime Channel a bunch. I'd be down with that. I'd play the murderer. You definitely look like, you know, an old boy that's beating somebody with a rod or whatever for a while.

Like Earl had to die. That's you. And thank you, by the way. Yes. But so that's the context. About halfway through the video, one of the questions is all just random fan questions. It's like, what's your favorite comfort food, whatever? and one of the questions was, who makes you laugh the most?

And he's like, who my, who? And they're like, yeah, who makes you laugh the most? And he just stops and looks out the window like he's thinking about it. And then he goes, I don't know. That's a good question. I'd have to really think about it and give you like an actual, to give you like a good answer. Then he goes, I don't go. And he said, I don't laugh a lot unless I go to a comedy show.

He's not. I don't laugh a lot unless I'm watching a comedy show or something. And then he goes, his face little. He literally goes, ooh, yeah, at his eyes get wide and everything. He goes, ooh, I know who. Trey Crowder. You know, fucking Morgan Freeman voice. And then the lady sitting beside him, she goes, oh, yeah.

He crawled through a river of shit. And, dude, so I was expecting it to be obviously cool because it's Morgan Freeman. But you thought it was going to be a throwaway. Yes, but I was not expecting it to be. Which, by the way, it still would have hit. It would have been awesome. But that's what I'm saying. Yeah.

No, it was a christening. Dude, it was the maximum level of awesome that it could have possibly been. Get busy hitting or get busy dying. Trey Crowder crawled through a river of shit to make me think he was funny. You're Andy Du Wayne. After that happened, I was just standing up just walking around my house, like with my phone in front of me and stuff. And Kay was like, I don't know. I don't know what to do.

I have no idea what to do right now. I was just like walking back and forth and I told her and I stand by this like there are plenty of people there are plenty of people that if they said that exact same thing about me it would be as cool as Morgan Freeman you know what I say what I say plenty but like I'm saying three well right I'm just saying you can name people that's like that's as cool as Morgan Freeman Tom Hanks Merrill Street killer Mike. But not cooler. There ain't. My point is, not cooler, though.

Cool as. You say, oh, Jack Nicholson said he loves him. It's like, that's fucking awesome. That's as cool as Morgan Freeman.

That's not cooler. I don't think he's... It would have to be Obama. That's the only one. I swear to God, you can fucking call Katie right now and ask him.

We were having this conversation. I told her, I was like, the only person that even might qualify would be Barack Obama. But other than that. But he ain't that far underneath Obama.

No. Honestly, Barack Obama would tell you that Morgan Freeman is fucking way cooler. That's what I was meant to say. You said that to Obama and be like, dude, I ain't as cool as Morgan Freeman. I know you guys are going to tell me I'm just being contrarian because it's who I am. But like, I hear what you're saying. Good God, I knew this was about to happen.

I think Morgan Freeman. I don't think it's Morgan Freeman. Oh, okay. It's cooler than Obama. Oh, okay. Well, then that's the fine side of contrarian. Yeah, yeah, no. I generally believe that Barack Obama would agree with you.

Yeah. I think he'd say the same thing. Like if Barack Obama said it, I'm like, well, yeah, he's a little bit more famous. probably around the world, not in America necessarily. And in terms of our fans and haters, it would make more people angry. It's Morgan Freeman. But it's Morgan Freeman.

He's the voice. Remember when he ate that grapefruit in that fucking Robin Hood movie with Kevin Costner? Yeah, he's not a lot of it. You do remember that. And that was like 87 miles down the list. This is quite bitter. But that's just, it's unreal, man. It's crazy.

And also, and I think we've actually referenced this on here before. and like I have nothing to say about this other than how fucking awesome it is but it's true man like literally all of the legend status people that have told me slash us

that I slash we hit for them you're talking about like truckers or whatever well they're legends to me but I'm talking about old guard whoopi Goldberg George Wallace Dick Gregory Dick Gray.

They're all old black people. Yeah, man. That's awesome. It is awesome. That's fucking great. I've always wanted that but never tried and it just has worked out for us. You can't try for that. Then you come across the show, you know?

No, you just got to. Actually, my mom brought that up the other day. And I was like, yeah, hell. That's cool as fuck, man. Dude, I stay talking about it with Andy. I'm like, fucking Whoopi Goldberg. Yeah. He can't touch that, man.

Hell no. He got winner, one of 13. egotts and not a composer which like I mean don't get me wrong them composers that are egotts they're still fucking colossal superstar hitters but like Jesus like her and my all-time

hero that we talk about all the time Mel Brooks it's like will be Goldberg is on this status of male Brits un fucking believable So to bring myself down a peg though what's funny you know maybe arguably Morgan Freeman's most iconic role definitely one of them is in

Charles Shank Redemption you know one of the best movies ever made one of my favorite movies. I think it probably is. And it's funny, very randomly, like, less than a week before that, like, dude, seriously, it might have been, no, it wasn't, it was the last Saturday. So it was like six days before that. I met Tim Robbins. You did meet Tim Robbins.

I totally forgot about that. I met Andy DuFran. Like, less than a week before that happened with Morgan Freeman, and it went a very different way. Tell that story, please. I'm about to. Good. Yeah. Not because of Tim.

Tim Robbins, he was totally cool because of me. Because you're a fucking idiot. I'm a total fucking idiot. You're basking, Robbins. Yes, I am. One of my, I'm sure I've talked about him on here before. He was like my older brother growing up. He's from Salina, too.

His name's James Bain. He lives. He's an awesome, awesome fucking dude. He lives in L.A. and has for a long time. We've been, like I said, tight forever. He's an actor. He's in a theater company. The theater company he's in is owned slash ran, whatever.

It's Tim Robbins. is in Tim Robinson's Theater Company. James is in Tim Robinson's Theater Company. Before you finish this story, just real quick on the Whoopi Egot, I think she's the only black person to want to Egot.

I wanted to look that up. Really? I mean... And I'm looking through this list, and I don't recognize all the names. I'm trying to click through it quickly, but I think she is... First of all,

the second one, I think it's hilarious that Egot is the first four letters in egotism. I think that's... Wow, that's pretty wild. All right, anyway. Sorry. James is in Tim Robinson's Theater Company.

They were doing a play. They recently did a, like, winter solstice play right and i went i went to i went and i went and i did one of them too in our bedroom yeah i know that's right yeah i went and watched it but before i went and watched it me and james went to a bar and he he wasn't drinking like i was throwing him back but you know he had work to do but we went to a bar and watched the titans chiefs playoff game oh god damn it that's when the titan the titan came back from 21 to three at half in i'd all but gave up in spectacular fashion I'm saying, you know your boy.

Yet another. I was on one. And the many chapters of the Chiefs falling about in the playoffs. Yeah. I sent you that meme where somebody had taken this old PSA video from the 80s where it's like how to save a choking child. But the clip from it is just this adult violently shaking this child. And he's screaming at them.

Are you choking? Are you choking? And somebody had Photoshopped the Chief's logo over the kid's head. Hilarious. It's so hard for me. They literally, our quarterback threw a touchdown two. himself against the chiefs. No bullshit in that, well, I think we've already said this, but still, it bears me.

Who gives a fuck? In that game, one way or another, he played quarterback, running back, wide receiver, offensive line, and offensive coordinator. He called all the plays from the first quarter of. And Dreamboat. Fuck yeah. And won. That was so, so, so anyway, I'm drunk.

I'm drunk. I'm drunk. I'm drunk. I'm drunk. I'm drunk. Yeah. So I leave that bar, and I go over to watch James's play. and I get in there and they've got wine there too.

It's wine. It was wine. It was wine. It was wine. So I've sit there drinking it, digging it. It was a fun time. I really liked it. And then when it was over,

there are all the actors and stuff, you're sore hanging around and shit. And I'm going up to all of them, drunkenly, just being like, that was fucking great, man. I love that shit. You know, whatever. And then I see James,

and James is talking to a dude. And I don't even notice who the dude is. I just run up and just like, buddy, god damn. Oh, it was great. Liked it. Yeah, and he was just like, hey, thanks, man.

He was like, hey, Trey, this is, this is Tim, and I look at it's Tim Robbins that he's talking to. And James goes, He crawled through a river of shit and came out free on the other side. Tim, this is my friend Trey, Trey Crowder.

He's like, you've ever seen those videos, the liberal redneck videos? You ever seen any of those? This guy's hilarious, whatever. You know, talking me up, trying to do right by me, whatever. Tim is like, you know, look, I can tell that he doesn't. In my drunken mind, I think he's a, he is one of the prototypical Hollywood liberal.

Elites, yeah. He's been on Bill Maher's show a million times. He just reads. So I was like, if he knows me from anything at all, it would be because I did Bill Maher's show. That's what I... He's done Bill Maher's show. A bunch, a whole bunch. Like, your thought was his head so far up his ass, I got to get up his ass.

to connect with him. Ass and ass, motherfucker. I thought. That's what I was going on in my drunken brain. If he knows me pretty thing, it'd be that, and I have a reason for thinking that way. What I said was... What you said was...

How did you be so obtuse? And it came out very quick, too. If he had said that, I'd have lost my mind. That'd been amazing. So in real time, this is how it plays out. James, like, this is my friend Trey Crowder. He's hilarious. You ever seen those videos? Liberal Redneck. Before Tim even has a chance to respond,

I go, I do Bill Mars. show like literally just like that and tim wasn't at all a dick about it but he was still like rightfully so and probably terrified of you because about yeah yeah but he was just he was kind of like yeah okay okay alright yeah you know pump the brakes there relax yeah we get it yeah exactly and uh james been asked back on what happened yeah and uh yeah you didn't get to do this this season upsets me fuck you bulmar yeah yeah there'll be other times well i mean i was being sarcastic i'm not really upset i know you're sorry everybody got quiet and it was weird in here but anyway so the two leads from shawshank redemption

in like less than a week's time yeah i had completely polar opposite experiences with them by the way i wouldn't have it gone any other way hell no the way they went right you know the yin and the yangle that is quite amazing brooks was here so was tray yeah but i've uh run my stupid fucking that would come full circle. I want to continue, so we're going to go back a year-ish, so I would love to continue the, Trey embarrassing him himself trained, if we made. Oh, God. Oh, Lord, I'm into this.

I think we've told this on the podcast, but if we go back a year, we're getting around the end of February, beginning of March. Did you pull out a fucking calendar for this? I did. I respect you so much. I don't even know yet which instance this is. It could be so many. I know. I don't know either.

So, well, first. of all let me talk about the hits a year ago minus a few days was our first largo show that's pretty cool if we can talk about that briefly like how many cool great largo shows we've had if anybody's listening to you're in the los angeles area we have these trade crotter and franz it's not well red and friends cori which i know you know we've talked about getting upset at the marquise from time of time yeah that's fine though i want all those tickets to sell um but we've had so many great shows at lago we've had so many cool guys guest spots we've had nil brennon sat galathanakis adam sandler natasha was jr roared rhodo jrota lizero i'm sure we're

gonna forget somebody of course and seem dushy but we've had some phenomenal fucking and they've all funny one of my favorite parts no one's not only is no one like quote unquote bomb no one they all murder adam samler got off stage he was he looked shocked and he'd done so well he was like was your family in the sandler yeah we're like nah adam we just have a good That was my favorite moment As we were back there And Sandler's like

He was like being very Sandler The whole time It was amazing He's like Did you Was that your family in there? We're like no Why he goes

That was a really good show And I was like Well yeah Well you're Adam Sandler And he goes I know what I do Just so fucking Sandler So Sandler

But yeah man So we're right around The anniversary Of our first Largo show Yep We're getting close to it Those Largo shows When this comes out

It'll be super close to it The other day I was listening To the nerdist podcast they were interviewing Paul Thomas Anderson, that fucking colossal director. Yep. Yeah. And he was just randomly just talking about in the late 90s, the time he spent at Largo,

like just going to shows and hanging out and stuff and how like creatively influential it was to him. And he was like, he was like, actually, Magnolia, his fucking Academy Award winning movie with Tom Cruise. His opus. Yeah. Actually, Magnolia kind of came out of all that. time when I was at Largo. No shit. I swear.

And he talked about Flanny by name, the fucking owner and shit. Like he was, you know. Right. And I'm sitting there listening to it the whole time just thinking like, I fucking love that place. Like, you know, Largo is the shit is what I'm saying. For audience members to performers who I've literally never talked to a single person who has been to Largo or performed there and knows anything about it, who has said anything other than I fucking love that.

I need that club. And I totally agree. Yeah, I need that club so much. I didn't realize it because, like, you know, we go on tour and we do our shows and they're sold out and they're amazing. And that makes me feel like a superstar. But when you do Largo and you go out there and you do a new 10 or you do a 15 or whatever, and then, you know, you've got to follow Galifinacus. You've got to do whatever.

And then you come off and you've crushed. That's like, okay, I've got a month of having. I validated myself very and truly because you feel like you've done comedy in like a church or something. Well, dude, I also. And you've been baptized. And seriously, I'm about shut to fuck up for a minute and let him talk about how much I don't hit. Can't wait. Hey, hey, seems like a good as time as any to do a commercial.

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Make it hip. Now back to the podcast. G-Y-YU! I recently did Sarah Silverman and Friends at Largo. Yeah, with who? So, right. The lineup of that show was Judd Apatel, me. It was shotgun style, by the way.

So Judd Apatel brings me up, right? And then you, you know, fucking... Shit like that is... You didn't even tell me that, I don't think. He did. That's fucking crazy. And I walked out there, he was like, you know, seriously, he was like, was that okay? Was that all right?

And I was like, I didn't know what to, you know what I mean? It was like, yeah. Well, that's just the comics are comics. Right, but, uh, I wish you to, come up with a fake complaint and then like giving him a moment to apologize. Do you know what I mean? I was like, man, I really would have preferred it

if you'd be like, really? I'm like, no, I'm fucking with you Judd Appetal. I feel like he would have been like, oh shit, my bad. The lineup of that show was Judd Apatow, me, Beth Stelling, who is fucking awesome. She's got a half hour special on it. She writes for crashing. Crashing, yeah.

On HBO, Judd and Pete Holmes' show. She writes for that. She has a half hour on Netflix call or for the stand-ups there's like six half hours she's one of them I'm not just saying this hers might be my favorite one it's fucking funny as shit hers and dion coals are the too funny and she so her uh Sarah Silverman Jorog car Michael and then Bill Burr that was the lineup of that show which dude you talk about fucking murderers row like that yeah son of a bit obscene yeah like what was you doing there I know dude and by the Who do you tell you?

I'm shitting on you, but, you know. No, but buddy, I was sitting back there I know, I'm thinking that shit. Well, yeah, of course. I'd been terrified. So, yeah, Largo hits. Anyway, I talk about how much I, how stupid I am. Well, we left Largo.

We flew out of Burbank, direct. Oh, my God. Yes. City named Salt Lake City. We had a show at the Wise Guys Comedy Club. And when we rolled into town, guys, we're on the road, 200, whatever day.

out of the year. Like, we just stay on the road. We don't know what's going on. This isn't at all trays or our fault in general. Just, we showed up, we had a gig. It was at a club. We get there. We have this, you know, hotel.

We pull into the hotel, and we're right downtown, and we start seeing all these signs. There is a comedy festival going on. We go into the hotel. T.J. Miller is there. He emerges from, like, an elevator. Corey, do you want to talk about why you're good friends with TJ? Good dude. Made him 12 years ago in Chicago.

Had a sandwich or two with him. Not a good dude. You saw him in Indianapolis and he was shitty. Fuck him. I'll tell the truth. I love how you said, Corey, do you want to? I clearly didn't. And then you just went.

I mean, it's fine. I said it. Yeah, that's fun. You can say whatever you want. Oh, he don't hit. Yeah, he don't hit. I want you to have your moment. Thank you.

I love having moments. And then Jimmy Pardo, who writes for Conan and is the voice of Conan. He's awesome. And often the warm up He is, yeah, he is a comic, total fucking pro. Comics comic by every fucking definition

of it. Like a, he's like a, woulda fit in with the rat pack type dude. You know what I'm saying? Like, without a doubt. And this is a year ago and in our career and in our, like, like, this is a guy, it's cool to even be talking to him.

Yeah. Like, as a whatever. And he's, like, hey, you know, what's up, guys? Blah, blah, blah. And Trey. Nick Vatterot was there, too. Vatterot was there, that's right. Funny-ass motherfucker now. Oh, is he?

Baderot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I saw it the other day. I love the fuck out of Nick. I mean, I need to congratulate, Nick. Anyway, Battero was there, and Pardo was there, and Tregos. What is it?

Like a, like a comedy festival going on here or something? I see there's a comedy festival. And Jimmy Pardo. The voice of Conan says to Trey, yeah, man, you're headlining the final day. Now, in Trey's defense, we've been on the road. We don't know. Well, dude, I didn't fucking know either. Okay, I was about to say, it was me that did it, but like, neither one of y'all fucking knew.

Of course not. But I'm a, but I would have got out of it. I would have been like, you and I. We pick up on context clues. Do what? We pick up on context. Yeah, I would have just lied after. I was kidding, Jimmy.

I was like, yeah, I was kidding, Jimmy. Of course, there's a million. Keep up, Jimmy. There's a shit ton of comedians. This hotel, of course, there's a fucking festival going on. But Trey, the sweet boy that he is, the true and genuine sweet and dumb fuck redneck, he didn't. And God, it hit for me so hard. Three days after that, we did the view.

He arose from the tomb. We did the view. That's right. It was right after that. Wait, wait. You should, not three days after that, we did the view. I thought that's when we found out we got the view because I was in Salt Lake City Airport when we got the call.

No, I don't know. I'm looking at our fucking... I believe you. We stayed in the hotel, La Parker Meridian. That was it. Monday. You don't tell that goddamn story? Yes, I do.

And I think we had before. We'll tell it again. I don't know if we have or not. So we got to do the view, and that was a lot of fun to promote the book. The reason we got it was, whoopee. E-GOT winner. Only, as far as we know, African-American to win the E-GOT. I get mine, I'm going to call it the goat.

Yep. The E-Gote. E-Gote. It's like an electronic goat. Or toge, whatever. I get it. We got to do the view because Whoopi is a fan of the book. She wanted to have a song.

And their ratings are not what they used to be. Indeed. So we went there to do it. And they put us up in this hotel. And we went to check in. I went to check in. And I gave them my credit card. And the girl goes, everything's taken care of.

And I go, no, I know the room's paid for. But incidentals. Yeah. We know how it's got. And she goes, no, it's all covered, Mr. Morgan. And I literally went, Corey's going to fuck this up. For sure. And we did.

I thought the same thing, too. I was like, I'm going to fuck this up. That night, so I at the time was living in New York, had a lot of comedian friends that Corey, who had lived in New York, was also friends with. I called all of them. All of them. And my mama and my Aunt Beth was there. My mom and Aunt Beth was there.

Ben, who was studying to get his Ph.D. at Columbia at the time was there. My buddy, Andy Steele, our favorite magician in the world was there. And then Lajeschi was there, Koskewrelli. These are comedians that I hung out with. They were there. Yeah, you'll never hear about them other than this sentence. But like, we started buying $35. Whatever's. Yeah, those were rams.

Whale vodkas. I remember there was. was a moment and Lijeski loved it. We were in the hotel room. You opened a Hineken. You looked at it and you go, fuck this, Heineken. I'm talking to court right now. And you threw it down.

And he was like, what are you doing it? And then he laughed. And you go, I didn't pay for it. Well, and also, at the end of the night, we couldn't find the bottle opener. So we were opening beers with other beers. And every time we did that, every time we did that, the one beer would break. And we just throw it away and drink the other beer. beer just out of the fucking mini fritz goddap we're fucking lunatic

before that we were in the bar and we was drunk it was time to pay the tab and we were like let's split it between the three of us it'll be on each room and corey says no this is going to be my way bogs moment this is my way bogs moment cross country fucked up this is what i'm going out on we spent a solid $1,600 in Oh, yeah. Oh, without a doubt. And the publisher... No, it was like $6,000, but it was like that night the next day.

Because we ended up getting snowed in. We did get snowed in. And I stayed, even though my house was like a mile away, like, in that... Like, in that, I was like, yeah, we need to stay another night. I don't give a shit. Yeah, for sure. He's looking to make it don't hit because I diminished the amount of money we spent in one night. But what I was trying to do is illustrate that, like, we kept going.

Oh, no. $60 was the first night. The total bill was approaching $3,000. The only thing... and then they complained about. Lord. All they complained about was that first night.

Anyway, the publisher hits us up. They're fucking... This is my favorite part, by the way, and the most you that you have ever been in your entire life. We get this email, and it gets forwarded to us by our management or whatever,

so we get to see it. And, like, our host stance the whole time, and I stand by this was like, all right, we'll pay for... Like, you're upset, we'll pay for it. Shit, my whole stance the whole time, in addition to that was also... Y'all think we couldn't afford it?

They gave. three self-professed rednecks. It's on the cover of the book. An open bar tab. The book, y'all had us right for you, says Redneck on the cover. You gave three self-professed redneck's on the cover. And liberal. An open bar tab in Midtown Manhattan.

Yes. At a fancy-ass hotel. What did you think? What did you think was going to happen? And what Corey was saying was the most me. They sent us that email and the guy had said, in all my years. In my 25 years in the publishing industry, I have never seen anything like this in terms of a tab. And my response was, well, that's what's wrong with the goddamn publishing industry.

Y'all don't employ drunks anymore. Apparently, y'all are fucking it up. You're fucking hiring these people who come out and they don't spit. No, bull shit. What you said is also true, though. Immediately, all three of us were just like, what, is it a problem? Okay, all right. We'll pay for it.

check. That's fine. We'll pay the money. You think we can't fucking afford it. God damn it. They just kept going with it though. They were so... It's like you're offended.

We spent money. We'll pay for the money. Like, fine. We'll fuck the money. That's why you let us leave our cards for incidentals. I remember I told our manager and I... You dumb fuck. She did not tell them this obviously.

But when all this was going on, I told our manager, I said, well, you tell them I'll pay back double if they'll shut. Shut the fuck up about it. But she didn't, and they didn't. No, but it was worth every goddamn penny and hit. But yeah. All right, well, I'm scrolling to the calendar. Are we ready?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You was crushing. Go ahead, baby. We talked about this on the podcast, but we can do a brief version of it. We went to Oxford a few, like about two weeks later. Shue, I said, in fact, two days ago, I did a Facebook live,

you know, that one I did, literally seven in the morning I'm still chugging wine. That was the first thing I said when I was reading the tour dates. I saw always coming to Oxford. God damn shudder went through my body. I was like, good Lord, I know what we have to do. Dude, we were a part of a book convention down there. Yeah, yeah, there you go.

For the square books. Publisher. We were crushing it. You guys are idiots. Anyway. And we did a live show. At that time, that was the drunkest I had gotten on tour. That was one of the drunkenest I've ever been in my fucking life.

then? Knoxville. Do you remember Knoxville? Buddy. Barely. I don't think you were... Were you as drunker? In Knoxville?

You did the same drunker. I don't remember you seem and drunker. Wait, you mean on stage? No. That being said, I was so drunk in Oxford, I don't know how I would have fucking known how drunk any of y'all was. Hold on.

Are you asking me, was I drunker in Knoxville in Oxford? Or are you asking me, was a drunker in Knoxville on stage? You held up. In Oxford, you... Oxford was the drunkest I've been on stage. You puked in a bush in the hotel, in the hotel parking lot before we try... That's what I'm saying.

what you said was up until that point, that's the drunkest I've been on tour. Yes. Stage doesn't factor in my mind. So I said, wait, you telling me that you got drunker than that somewhere else? Noxel. Well, yeah, again, I was Verhammer in Knoxville, too, but I don't remember you seeming as drunk in Knoxville as you were in Oxford. Well, the Pukin...

But you know better than anybody. Well, but Knoxville was like a marathon. It was a sprint in Oxford. We had two nights... For sure. We had two nights in Knoxville, one in Oxford. Yes. Was that the night...

In Oxford, was that the one when I took... I literally got an entire bus cab sent to the hotel so I could go get a butterfinger in a meal in the morning. But before that, we went to the owner of the bookshop who had had us, and it was the, Tray was calling him the land at Gentry. This house, and it wasn't, we weren't in a mansion, but it was just like a nice downtown. It was for the area, though, and I've said this in his defense, it's insanely nice. And we would meet people and they'd be like, hello, my name is, I'm the judge around here. Yeah, exactly. And it was like, God.

I'm judge Paulson. Yes. Yeah. How are you boys doing? Well, here's what I remember. Yes, where's your property? This was my favorite, like, moment that captures us. All of us, yeah.

You were on these rich people's record player. And I kept... You were playing Rolling Stones. I was playing stick, is it, sticky fingers. Sticky fingers by Rolling Stones on repeat. All I was doing was every time side two would be over, I flip it back to side one. And what I loved about it, there was a lot of, like, older women who love you, of course, they were drinking wine. and they were like, play, and you go, oh yeah, that one's next.

And then you'd spin sticky fingers again. Yeah, after dead flowers for the 19th time. I was outside talking to a judge about how the judicial system don't hit, and I don't care what he thinks he believes, he's a part of it, and fuck him. Like, I was literally sitting there talking to a judge and be like, look, man, all I'm saying is you're complicit in this fucking system that's throwing black men away, and like, I want to know how you feel about that. What are you doing to change it while you were spinning sticky fingers on repeat?

and Trey was walking around talking about how he didn't feel comfortable there. I didn't. The whole time. Yeah. I kept just like pointing at random shows. Like, look, let's get my fucking painting right there. It's like, we ought not be here. We ought not be here.

But I felt right at home. You went and played swords in the bathroom? Yeah, we did. And then ladies got upset that we exited the bathroom together. That's something I want to talk about. But, though, I don't know if y'all remember or thinking about this, but like the previous story we told about us with that, in. That's view with the open bar or whatever.

Again, like you said, the people whose house were at, they owned a bookstore there, probably in addition to other shit, but they're very... Square Books in Oxford, y'all should all go. They're very literary people. And they were... By the way, they were fucking awesome. Amazing. Great.

I don't want to sound like... Told us all them drunk Larry Brown's stories. So, right. That's why I was getting at. That night they started telling us. They were a great Southern novelists. They've been in the book game for a long time in the South, the Deep South. Yes.

And they started telling us stories about Southern authors. Like, Gary Brown. And they told a story about, like 30 years ago, by the way, about him going to Nashville for some kind of conference or something on the publishers dying. And the guy was with him. And the guy who all in the house was with him. This guy was like, and, you know, like the very first night, of course, you know, Larry runs up a $1,200 tab at the mini bar.

And we were like, fuck, yes. I made that Randy Quaid clips. I've been saying it. I've been saying it. Ten goddamn years I've been saying it. But then I got Shane. I was like $1,200 by himself. Man, it took three of us to get to 16.

Yeah, my mama was there, though. Larry Brown's been crushing it. We were in Manhattan. That motherfucker was in Nashville. He was 30 years. He was buying people cars and shit. We can't see him in a dream, son, when it comes in. Yeah, dude. It ain't even close.

He, like, bought the bar. Dude, we ain't even the same ballpark. God damn, I want to get drunk with Larry Brown, but he did. Yeah. Yeah, well, that's why. You run up a $1,200 tab in the, 80s, you ain't making it to the motherfucking 2000s because... That's true.

But why would you want to? Who does want to? So that night ended with the three of us separately. We're all hammered. Drew Puking in a bush outside the hotel. Corey calling a bus-sized cab to take him to a gas station

just to get a butterfane. Gave him $50, by the way. And me, ugly crying to Conway Twitty in my hotel, room. Mm-hmm. Which song was it again? That's my job, yeah.

Which is a song about Daddy's. That's what I do. Yeah. Oh, God damn. So another thing I want to talk. That song wrecks me no matter what. Well, I'm hammered drunk in Oxford, Mississippi at four in the morning. Like, I don't know why I even turned it.

I turned it on to cry. Well, yeah. That's good. It's cathartic. Dude, it's like that. Well, we ain't going to. I want to. Balling.

Balling. Balling. Balling. Balling. Not bawling. Ballin. Ballin. Another thing, y'alling.

Another thing, y'all just kind of brought it up about y'all playing swords in Oxford. I wanted to bring this up since it kind of saved way into it. One of my absolute favorite moments of this past year was when we were asked to do a book signing and a little speaking thing at Harvard. I'm totally down with telling this story. But was it more than a year ago? Yeah. Well, I don't give a fuck. I think it was the, because that was part of our big book push, and the book came out.

the previous fall 2016. Cool, and I bet everybody listening to this would have known that. He always. He can't lie. He can't. It's so genuine. It is endearing. But right now it's fucking my shit.

Well, whatever. It doesn't matter. This goes to that one time. I don't think we've ever said this. We went to Harvard to do a book signing. I'll give you the Cliff Notes version. We do the book signing. We do a little speaking thing or whatever.

We're up in their library. And then afterwards, we all three have to piss because we've been talking for an hour or two and we are drunk so there is always alcohol flowing through our body we go all we can find is one bathroom and we've all got to fucking pee. We're at Harvard

I don't know if I said that. We all go into this one bathroom, play swords you know just whipping our wieners around trying to pee in this whatever. We walk out of the bathroom We're in all the round places whooping our wieners

in too many faces. So we walk out of the bathroom, and as we walk out, the girl who was employed to us us around and help us, she works at Harvard, saw us all three just come out of the bathroom, cackling to each other. And, you know, again, that's how we did our Ivy League experience. If anyone's wondering how our book event went at Harvard. Oh, yeah, please tell that story. It was a very, very engaged group of audience members, small crowd, but they were very, very into it.

who we found out after it was over, were homeless and had wandered in because it started freezing rain outside. And there's nothing wrong with that. We're not making fun of homeless people. Absolutely not. But it was hilarious because we're so fucking narcissistic and stupid. It took me, at least.

I won't speak for you, 10 minutes to these 15 people who were there engaged asking questions. I was like, man, but that's the thing that's really... We're really speaking to the people, and these folks, they look very working class, you know? their fucking shirts are tattered.

We're really reaching it. I'm like, oh, they're just here and homeless. Well, they were homeless outside. They were homeless. It did start raining. You said they were homeless outside? Yeah, I know. They were homeless.

It started raining outside. They came in for that reason. They didn't know shit about us. But again, though, like, they genuinely were, like, great as far as audience members go. Yeah, because they were fucking engaged. They had challenging questions. They were asking questions. And then that one old girl with like the one tooth, she was like, I grew up in Florida and Tennessee.

And I feel like you guys are talking about some shit. I recognize. And I just want to know what the fuck you're doing to like, you know, tell people about how hard shit is. And I was like, I don't know what the answer to that question is, but I'm just glad you asked it. I'm sure one of y'all said this while I was paying. But there used to be a time when you could tell the difference immediately between hipsters in college and homeless people. That is so true, man. That's why it took us so long.

If this was fucking 10 or 12. It's their teeth. That's how you gauge it. I literally just thought. Hitcher's got good teeth. Portland or Seattle or whatever or where we are right now. Ashfield, North Carolina. It's teeth.

And you can't tell the difference. You really can. It happened to us last night at the bar. Yes, it was a homeless guy who I thought was just a hipster. Me too. It's been a theme on the podcast. I'm giving everybody money. It's been a theme on the podcast how we don't have great teeth.

It's fucking teeth, man. It is teeth, but like, you know, they're not sitting there going like fucking, I don't know, but, you know, we're up there talking. and they wear the same shit. Well, all right, doing the year interview, we've already touched on it, but I would like to talk a little bit more in detail about how awesome Knoxville was. I'll say for me specifically, and you guys can talk about your own experiences, we did the Beesue two nights, three shows, is that right?

Am I calling that correctly? Was it two shows? Two shows, one each night, I believe it's what it was. So did two shows at the Beesue. theater in Yeah, yeah. It was two. One-inch night.

On Gay Street. And man, it was wild because the last show I had done in Knoxville with all three of y'all. I think was... Are you talking about Scruffy City Hall aside from the tour jump? You mean aside? Yeah, aside from the first tour jump. Because we kicked the tour off at Scruffy City Hall as like a pop-up show that we had announced on Twitter. I just tried you.

I'm so sorry. That's okay. But before that, it was. I think, dude, it was one of the well shows. Oh, yeah, the Black Liver Theater. Where, you know, there were 30 people there. 15 of them were randos. And the other 15 were comics.

Right. Who we weren't, you know, who just wanted to be on the show. So it was, it was, it was great, like, it was sincerely a great weekend. Doing Knoxville in October meant the world to me. It was fall in Tennessee, which was one of my favorite times. And that might be a weird thing to say, but. No. For me, I like going to cities during a time where it's good to be in the,

that particular city. For sure. The fall is the best time to be in the south. Without a goddamn question. The weather's unbelievable. Football's going on. It's like, it's chilly.

The fall in the south is like my favorite. And when I say it's chilly, I mean it's chilly and it's chilly. Yeah. And I have moved. It is chilly. Oh, it's chilly. Son,

please believe it's chilly. It's chilly. I have moved back to Knoxville now, but at the time I wasn't living there. I'd come in from New York or whatever. It was fire. I considered, I mean, my dad was there,

and I think I've told this on the podcast. He got in a, fight with that parking meter. My buddy Austin... With a parking meter. Yes. My buddy Austin came in and goes, I got to go back and pay my parking thing, but some old redneck was kicking the shit out of the parking thing.

And then later, Austin was like, that was your dad, dude. I didn't realize that was your fucking old man. Was there any part of you at all that when you heard him say that, or some old redneck out are kicking a fuck it up? Was there any part of you? He was like, God damn it, dad. Well, no. He's like, you knew they were pulling up or something.

I knew that they were coming to our show. Yeah. Like I was like, that's certainly one of our fans is kicking the shit out of the parking meter out there or whatever it is. You're right. At our show in Knoxville, it's like, because it don't really narrow. But that's, but Dad came in throwing flames. He's like, you walked in the back door. He's like side stage.

He's like, they aren't not let, this is why they ought not let redneck come to the city. I already had to kick the, you know, I'm going to cuss. Dad wasn't cussing. Like, he would never cussed, but like, I'm going to cuss. retail. He came in in my mind. He was like, I had to fucking kick the goddamn car, you know, whatever. It took his card. He was furious about it. And here's the thing,

it took his bank card, his debit card. You can replace one of those. Literally 30 seconds. You call the bank, you tell them, they send you another one. He... That ain't the point, son. Hell no. Trey. Horse bank. I don't even know if I've told you this. He had,

he wanted me to go by their offices that he had made mom find on the internet because he was convinced they had it in their offices. I pretended to. I pretended to call him. I pretended to go by. I did all the things.

Does he know this? No. Yes. Lord God. I was like, yeah, yeah. I went by there. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Because you just replaced the car, dude.

Like, you know what? And finally they did. And guess what? It worked out because that's how that goes. You said it, you thought it might have been one of our fans kicking the shit out of a parking meter. And my brain immediately thought of the parking meter saying a racial slur. And that was why our fan was kicking a shit out of it.

crack me up like this little robot card machine. Yeah, our fan is like liberal, but redneck, so it's kicking a dude. What'd you say? Being woke against a fucking ATM machine. I had a great time in Knoxville. Gina, who used to own. Oh, buddy, me too, man. Well, we referenced the well, which was the show, the last show we did.

I mean, that was fucking homecoming shows for me and you both. I mean, that's where we started. Well, I got to tell you. Gina, who ran the well, which was the last show we had done in Oxford all together, other than the jump-off show, was at the well. She invited us over to that fucking. in bowling alley and we partied

hearty all night. Like a downtown bowling alley and like a hipster bowling alley and like a hipster bowling alley It hit like a motherfucker

And I got... Bowling alley in a cool ass building and a sweet part of town I know it was technically absolutely a homecoming for y'all but just because

I've been doing to stand up there a lot too and all our comic friends were there it very much felt like homecoming for me as well and that was a fucking insanely

magical weekend like usually I mean, we always talk about how, like, you know, we go down swinging in the tears of Ravens and bullshit always happens. Usually because we're fucking idiots, but, like, one thing after another, we're dumb and some bullshit goes wrong. But that weekend, it's like literally every single thing fell into place. The venue was amazing. The shows were amazing.

Our friends didn't yell shit at the stage. We got to see all the comics we wanted to see. We got to go bowling. We got to eat at great places. And the shows were... fucking fire. So unreal. It was like, when I was driving home, I remember thinking like, I can't believe nothing went wrong.

Because like we had, we'd hyped it up in our mind. And usually when that happens, even if it goes well, there's always something where you're like, man, fuck this shit. But there wasn't no fuck this shit moment. Yeah, you're right. We got a good podcast out of it. Fucking Jake James was in the building. Jay James. Jay James.

Jay James. Rick. What up, Rick? Rick was in the building. Rick. Don't be listening. I don't blame him But it was great

It was phenomenal It was truly great It was awesome What you got Corey I mean I had to Harvard thing I've been enjoying it You all been nailing it for me

I'm scared And I'm gonna say something And you're gonna like You know You have your calendar Annocia Yes I promise you I won't

Yes Even if it is wrong I won't Or we're gonna say something You're really have said The things I was going to say though I'm fucking with you we're gonna say something like we can't talk about it yet because I will say

some of my favorite things in the last year still haven't gotten to the point where we can talk about I'm putting I was looking at I was looking at the calendar too and there are there's some things in the past year that are absolutely noteworthy but most of the ones that stood out to me we've covered but we covered when they happened right like the trucker's show and like the I was little shows and Corey getting engaged all that stuff so I I don't want to, like, rehash none of that. Yeah. You're going to get married?

Sure. To a girl. To a woman. Name Amber. Amber. I am going to officiate that wedding. And Will Redd listeners, I want you to know that if I can, I'll get a microphone out and do it live for the podcast. We're on Facebook live the whole way.

Probably won't be able to do that, but I'll alert you guys to all the shenanigans we're up to. Yeah, I specifically, we went to get, pick out the tuxes. Oh, I'll just go ahead and tell you now on the podcast, Trey, I need you to get, uh, you your measurement somewhere and send them to me i was wondering how that was going to work i actually thought about that just the other yeah you just get them get them go to one of your places where you and john ham hang out together yeah and you all measure your stupid fat man two ms two ms just like the beer yeah it was like he uh he was there and you know they were like you know john ham not gonna work for hollywood and he was like what if i add an m and they were like fine god damn it beautiful

what else you got what do you got john um so and he got a big show your measurements to me and everything will be fine. That's a Hollywood rumor or fact. He's got a big dong. It's not a rumor, son. I've seen so many pictures of... In shorts. His dong.

Son. Huge. It was also... There's this one picture... His dong is a ham with two ms. There's this one picture I see on the internet. And it's clearly a paparazzi that's trying to not let him know that they're taking a picture.

Paparazzi sounds like what you call, like a grandpa of a girl every day. Hey, paparazzi. Um, you... But you can see on John Ham's face, he knew he was getting his picture taken, and he knew he was hanging brain that day. Like that look on his face, he's just like, yeah, I wore these shorts for that reason. What's hilarious about? It's that smirk.

Everything is, you said, John Hamm. You gave him, like, an extra mistake, you know, because you were thinking about his dung. Well, I don't know why this turned in and talked about how much John Hammond. I love how our anniversary episode is like, and, you know. How much is John Hammond? Well, in the day. How do you all feel about John Hammond? Ham's Don't.

How long I want to be here because he's got a fucking hammer. It is unbelievable. He's one that, and yeah, we've talked about before, but like, he's one of them people like, it just ain't fair.

You know what I mean? Because he's funny. Gorgeous. He's funny, gorgeous, great actor, big, big ass dick, an Adonis.

There's no way he can't fly up playing. I can't decide if he's an argument for or against the existence of God. Do you know what I mean? Because it's almost like, How could he not be created by a supreme being? Yeah. But then on the other hand, I also kind of think like, Fuck God if that's true.

Yeah, God ought not do that. Or maybe John Ham is God. Right. I think that's really. If God is real and he's making motherfuckers like that, then like, he don't hit. Like that ain't right. He don't hit.

Make fucking, making John Hamm and then Kim Davis in the same day or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. It's whatever's left over and make Kim Davis. Yeah. Anyway, God don't hit. What are we going to do? We're about to wrap it up.

We're going to end on Kim Davis, apparently. I ain't thought about her in a minute. She didn't hit. Yeah, well, we should. I mean, I think we should, I think it wouldn't be that corny to think, sincerely think our fans for listening, man. For sure. If it wasn't for y'all, the hits would not be able to be bestowed upon us.

Also, if you're listening to this, then like, you're a real deal. Yeah, you've hung in here for. the truth. You've hung in for us, sticking our head up our ass while jacking ourselves off. And farting on our heads, which we're up our asses while jacking off and eating a sandwich. So we've really put y'all through it. You all deserve a free t-shirt. You just described my own private Idaho.

Dude, I've thought about it a lot. I don't know what that movie's about because I've never seen it. But if I own my own private Idaho, I mean, that'd be cool. You've got mountains and shit. What is that movie about? Dude, I have no idea. There's some band in the 90s that has a song called My Own Private Idaho. Can't remember their name, but I do like that song.

Our fan, you guys, y'all deserve a T-shirts. We're not going to give you one. No, of course not. You can buy it, which will hit for us. That's not what I meant. Be another hit. Thank you all so much. Thank you.

Y'all seriously don't even know how much we appreciate what it is that you all allow us to do. Right. Like the fact that you're listening and what you are. you are means more to us than we can even express. Yeah, which is spending tireless hours entertaining you often for free. Thank you, Corey. He grew up spoiled. They made it this far.

Thank you, Corey, for making that gratitude seem both hollow and fickle. Yeah. No, but seriously, I mean that I don't. If it wasn't for y'all, I would be working for Rick Perry right now. So, Lord God. thank you. And if it wasn't for y'all, man,

I'd be living in New York, hating my life. I'd be texting Trey every five minutes going, what's it like working for Rick Perry? You would be doing that. That's about it. So,

I'll come up our Sunday. You got cheese? Yeah. Well, I mean, yeah, my life would still hit. Exactly. I'd still be suckling off your teeth. Corey would still be crushing it.

Oh, yeah. Well, all right, guys. Your interview, thank y'all so much for listening. And here's two. another year. You said year interview. I thought you said your interview.

I may have. I'm just drunk. At least I ain't fucking saying foods. I said rice again earlier, by the way. He said rice earlier. That's what we should have done in the year interview. It's been a while since they're. All the times Corey has said food when he meant another thing.

It's been a while since I witnessed. He was sitting over there where Bob's sitting. I don't know if I can reference him or not, but Bob's sitting here. He's been listening the whole time. Corey was sitting there. I was talking about Micah got engaged. Micah, yeah. Micah.

Blockhead ass. Yeah. Blockhead ass. Yeah. Looked. Indian ass, blackhead motherfuckers. Blackhead, Indian ass, log-ass motherfucker. Got cancer as fuck, been had cancer for two years.

He got engaged. Rocking, socking robots looking ass motherfucker. About to get engaged. Fucking Ivan Drago on chemo looking ass. Looking like he doesn't fought the Russians and is the Russians ass motherfucker. At the same time. Yeah. Oh, my God.

He got engaged. Lord, that was fucking fire. And Corey, I guess, was going to say nice, and he just goes rice. Rice. Yeah. And I called it that time. He goes, I said rice again. Yeah, you did.

Well. All right. Well, y'all, if we don't die, we'll see y'all. This year. And next time. We're going to do it again. Excuse me. Why would you dingle that hope in front of me?

I hope we died. I kind of know what you were saying because of the way that we'd kind of wrap that up. It felt like this was a New Year's Eve episode. Like we were. the year-end review and everything. What I was trying to say is like, we'll... This is the worst ending ever. Yeah, we've really botched those.

All right. Excuse me. We hit. Rescue me. My flow's dope. I drop bars like Brady drops a pass and loses all hope. I got a can of cheese whiz on my vanity stand just for insanity man instead of soap. I should have been a cowboy like Drew Morgan, but I reckon I'll cope.

Yeah, I'm bald and fat, and sometimes when I fart, I shat and I got a sit in that, and I should wipe it stat, but I got a podcast, and that ain't no joke. Got a couple misdemeanors when I was an in-betweener, a full Charlie Sheener, Lobby's lock, got a piss pull out my wiener, spread it on the newspaper of the Athensiner, just got a ticket because I'm white and the grass is greener, and I'm a grown-ass chow, so I'm living cleaner. I'm on tour every day across the USA with my two buds who just fart and curse all day. No for breeze spray to knock the stench away, trying to quit smoking with a skull pinch a day. Papal rolling in his grave with the choice I've made. Copenhagen and Reagan over Carl Sagan and Pagin's all day. Oh, you don't say, yeah, let's let Papal weigh in.

Did you come here to claim that I'm living in sin only to beat your first born till he's locked in the pan flip granny of Benjamin, then you're leaving again? My bad. I went full M&M, and I'm not him, especially the part that was slim. Chow! Thank you all for listening to The Well Red Show. We'd love to stick around longer, but we got to go. Tune in next week if you got nothing to do.

Thank you, God bless you, good night and skew. Progressive Presents Precious Moments. Hey, Jess, want to come for a ride on my mom? You know, we can talk about our feelings and explore our emotional compatibility. I thought you'd never ask. The exchange you just heard didn't actually happen, but it could. Bundle your home and other vehicles with Progressive and you could use the savings to make sure the motorcycle is always ready for your dream girl. So keep the dream alive and the savings coming with Progressive.

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