wellRED podcast - #60 - Behind Every Good Man: Trae & Katie Crowder! (+ Drew's Take On Stormy Daniels)

Episode Date: March 28, 2018

Hey everybody! This episode is a very special one on account of you will finally get to meet (in audio form at least) the woman being the man! Trae and his wife Katie sit down in their Burbank home for a nice chat. Before that we have yet another voicemail from a fan, and AFTER Trae and Katie, please stay tuned for our sexy Ginger correspondent Drew Morgan as he gives his take on the Stormy Daniels Situation! wellREDcomedy.com for tickets to all of our shows, merch, and to sign up for the newsletter! smokeyboysgrilling.com for some SUPER AWESOME meat rubs from our wonderful sponsors.Share with your friends, subscribe, and leave us a review! Thanks in advance! SKEEEEW  

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion, because used to you, you like had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie. I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now. Skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people. People across the ske universe, I should say.

Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year? Do you even know? Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery? Getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low mane? Because that's a thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better.

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Premium features. I used Rocket Money and realized that I had apparently been paying for two different language learning services that I just wasn't using. So I was probably like, I should know Spanish. I'll learn Spanish. and I've just been paying to learn Spanish without practicing any Spanish for, you know, pertinent two years now or something like that.

Also, a fun one, I'd said it before, but I got an app, lovely little app where you could, you know, put your friend's faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies. You know, those weren't a little like the Q-ball looking twin fellas.

Yeah, so that was money. What was that a reply gift for? Just when I did something stupid. Something fat, I think, and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first, but then I quit using it and was still paying for it and forgotten. If it wasn't for Rocket Money, I never would have even figured it out.

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What's up everybody? It's your boy the thuggish ruggish show Corey Ryan Forster here. Wellredcom. W-E-L-R-E-D Comedy.com. That is where you can find tickets to our shows. our book, The Liberal Redneck Manifesto, Dragon Dixie out of the dark, all sorts of sweet merch that we've actually just updated. It's super sexy.

And also, you can sign up for our newsletter. That way, you will get notifications about tickets when we're coming to your area. That way you can grab them before it sells out and you yell at us on Twitter. So go to well-readcom. This portion of the podcast is also, as always, brought to you by smokyboysgrilling.com. Go to smokyboysgrilling.com. grab their hog rub and their new beef rub. Also, grab a t-shirt from the guys, super pumped to be sponsored by them.

They're some of my favorite people in the world, and they are winning and coming in second and placing very high at the top of all sorts of barbecue festivals across the country, and their rub is super spectacular. And we just love these guys. So go to smokyboysgrilling.com, send them some love, tell them that the well-read crew sent you and yeah, that's about it. This is a very special episode because for the first time ever,

you were going to be introduced, at least in audio form, to one of my best friends, a great gal, and the woman who makes every gay fan of Trey's just jealous as shit, his wife, Katie Crowder. Katie and Trey sit down for a nice little 30-minute chat in their lovely Burbank.

home and I know you guys are going to enjoy it. But before that, of course, I have a voicemail that someone, I have a voicemail that someone sent us from up north that I think you're going to really, it made me laugh. I'm still laughing about it. So I got a voicemail for you, fans from the road. And after Trey and Katie's interview, please stay tuned for our very own Drew Morgan and his take on the Stormy Daniels interview from tonight.

So you got an interview with Katie. rap, Stormy Daniels interview, voicemail, all sorts of stuff. It's a great episode. I love you. This is the show. Ski-Koo! Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring. Hey, this is the show.

I'm either drunk, dead, or my belly hurts because I drank too much milk. If y'all know how it is, leave me a voice mail. Love you, Skiu. Hey, hey there, Choole. Is this the Chow? listen, names Peter, just caught you guys' show there up in Minnesota a couple weeks ago with the gal. You know, I got to be honest with you, Cho, I'm not a big fan. Your guys is, you know, your politics or any of that stuff.

But, you know, my gal peg, she just, she loves it, eats it up, she does, and, you know, can't help who you love. No matter how stupid they are. I'm just kidding. You guys are great. No, you're great. You know, you're funny guys. I don't agree with you, but gosh, darn it, you crack me up. You do.

And, but I'm, you know, I'm not just calling just to, you know, jerk you know, jerk you off. You know, just gush over you or like that or nothing. I'm calling for a specific reason because, you know, like I said, I'm a gal. She listens to you guys all the time, podcasts included. And one thing I've picked up listening to podcasts that I really appreciate is, the rap. I love the way you guys not only talk about rap, but you do a little bit of rapping yourself on there, if I'm not mistaken.

And what I love about that is it's underrepresented voices in rap, you know? And I just think that's great. And that's why I was inspired to call you tonight because I want to do the same thing, Cho. I know. It's true. I'm a rapper. I am. Yeah, and I, you know, my voice in rap is one that is, well, underrepresented to say the very least.

And that's, you know, frankly, a voice that's underrepresented in this country as a whole today. And I'm sure you'll agree with me that's the straight white male Midwestern small business owner voice. No one's listening, Cho, especially in the rap world. And I need a platform. You know, you can relate to that. And I love how you guys, you're open-minded in both directions. You know, it's just what's so great about you. And so I thought for all those reasons, you know, if anybody would give me a platform for my sick rhymes,

it'd be these guys. And so I'm just taking a flyer. I'm just sending you a little track, a little ditty, a light down in the studio there. And, you know, I think you'll find that it slaps. It slaps. And, you know, it's something new and fresh, I hope. And it's, for you, listen, for you, listen, listen to it. I promise you, this is me, my speaking voice, very different from my rap voice.

Everyone's, of course you got to have your own rap voice, got to have a rap persona. And this is my rap persona here, and my rap persona is 401aK. This song is called Print It. And I'm just, no more ado, been enough ado, I'm just gonna play it. Thanks, Joe, have a dandy night. Yo, I don't know. I wish y'all dumb motherfuggers know about supply side economics. Servitism. I'm a learn ya. I'm 401aK. Me in the lobby. This money is my hobby. I own a small business and I make a tidy profit. Got dockers in my closet. Y'all know that y'all can't stop me. I never fucks with cash because my shit direct deposit. I'm counting all the screen to the Thufors magazine. I maintain

a nice balance because I live below my means. Been saving since my teens. My credit report clean. until Black Friday to look for a big screen. I'm writing down when I'm spending. I'm writing down when I'm spending. I'm writing down when I'm spending. The receipt, yeah, printed. I'm writing down when I'm spending. I'm writing down when I'm spending.

I'm writing down when I'm spending. The receipt, yeah, print it. The receipt, yeah, print it. The receipt, yeah, printed. The receipt, yeah, print it. I'm writing down when I'm spending. The receipt, yeah, printed. The receipt, yeah, printed.

Ain't worried about no audits because I'm writing down when I'm spending. These golf clubs is pre-owned. Pay-day title loans. Got me a sign twirler because you know I'm buying gold. Y'all wondering how I rode. Just got my Camry sold. And put a down payment on a new bookey or so.

I'm bawling out like Mitt, giving all these bankers' fits. But you know that I can't quit because these interest rates legit. My accounts ain't never skid. I do this for my kids. Because why is family planning? That ain't shit to fuck with. Wiles family planning ain't nothing to fuck with. Wiles family planning ain't nothing to fuck with.

Wiles family planning ain't nothing to fuck with. Wiles family planning that ain't shit to fuck with. Yeah. Frugal is a motherfucker up in there. I'm writing down when I'm spending. I'm writing down when I'm spending. I'm writing down when I'm spending. The receipt?

Yeah, printed. I'm writing down when I'm spending. I'm writing down when I'm spending. I'm writing down when I'm spending. The receipt? Yeah, printed. The receipt? Yeah, printed.

The receipt? Yeah, print it. The receipt? Yeah, print it. I'm writing down when I'm spending. The receipt, yeah, print it. The receipt, yeah, print it. Ain't worried about no audits because I'm writing down when I'm spending, bitch.

Huh? Hey, come on, Choy. What I said, didn't I tell you? Didn't I tell you? It slaps? Tell me it doesn't slap. I know. Am I right?

Yeah, yeah. Anyway, I just, you know, you get proud of yourself. Anyway, just, you know, so you guys want to tickle 401 AK? They're on the crazy road with you. Just, you know, you know how to find me. Actually, I guess you don't, but, you know, I'm just up in Minnesota, just alone. Anyway, just listen, Chow, thank you so much for the time. I really appreciate you guys just keep doing what you're doing.

And, you know, polish that gigantic head of yours. Okay, bye. Well, well, well. We are. And what a treat. What a treat I have for you guys tonight. Because you finally get to meet in some capacity the ever mysterious, but always present in one way or another, Katie Elizabeth Crowder. You have to say my whole name?

No. But this is my old lady. This is my old lady, Katie. Katie, the old lady. Say hi. Hi. So, yeah. Does it bother you when I call you a old lady? No. No, not at all, right? You remember when we when we walked the red carpet

at Dolly Parton's movie premiere? And I said, what I say? You said something about your old lady. Me and my old lady got gussied up tonight for a red carpet thing or whatever. Everybody holds their shit. It was a wrong post about how pretty you were and all this. But I called you my old lady and people got really pissed off

and you were like, who gives a shit? Yeah. Because I mean, in the Saturday. old lady is a term used but I mean you didn't say old lady and even if you had I am older than you yeah but I it ain't even I know for fact it's not just the South though and the way that I know that is because my dad was a huge beetle maniac he loved the Beatles and that wasn't limited to just the music he used to watch their movies so I've seen all of like the Beatles movies But when I was a kid, they all run together in my head.

I can't remember which one of them it is. I think it might have been hard days night. But in that movie, there was a running gag where I want to say it was John Lennon. He had this woman with him a lot. And one of the other Beatles would be like, John, who's that? You got there? And he'd be like, that's my old lady. And they'd be like, well, that's your old lady.

He's like, yeah. Got an old lady. And it was just an actual old lady. and it was just an actual old lady. It wasn't his girlfriend. It's just an old lady. That's my old lady. So, I mean, that was British, you know, teeny boppers saying old lady 50 years ago,

which I guess could be an argument against using it. But I'm just saying anyway, like, I don't know. I wouldn't have called you that if I didn't know for a fact that it wouldn't bother you. But it bothered other people. Yeah, but I don't care about that. But you would probably argue with me saying that I wouldn't do something that I know would bother you. You'd do all kinds of stuff that bothers me. Yeah.

I did something today, didn't I? Ah, yes. What happened? I dropped Benton off at school and I came home and my phone was almost dead. So I plugged it in inside the house. house and then came out here to the office to work. And a couple of hours later, I go into the house. And Trey was like, what are you doing?

Did you not get my message? And I was like, what message? He said, I sent you a text message. And I did. That says people are coming over. And literally as he's telling me this, I shit you not. They knock on the door,

20 minutes early. Yeah, well, I mean, but they were 20 minutes early. I don't know they were to get there 20 minutes early. What? I didn't know anybody was coming over. But I sent you a text message out. It wasn't just like visitors coming over. It was a fucking camera crew.

Swedish documentarian. I don't care. Surprise. Surprise. If there was ever a, like, if I was looking for a sign that I need to hire a housekeeper, that was it. That was it this morning. But like, yeah, I don't know.

You, I don't want people seeing a totally devastated house either. And we have two little boys so our house stays tore all the shit. Well, yeah. So I feel you on that to an extent, but you're way too uptight about it. I know. I was like, I'm about to film. I'm about to make this short film. But I mean, but that's just it.

But you know this and you still invite people over last minute. some, Katie, I know, I do know that. I don't ever, like a situation like today, I didn't want that to happen.

But like, what was I supposed to do? I mean, I could have just told the, no. I was working out to get myself pumped up to clean up a little bit. And I put the tent up

because I knew they were going to walk out through the backyard and say that old muddy tent all crumpled up out there. So I did that. The tent was all muddy and crumbled up in the yard. Why? Because we got rained out last week.

Doing what? Camping? Trying to camp. Well, yeah, we tried. I genuinely don't even want to know the amount of money you spent on getting ready for that camping trip. Well, now we all got it for the next trip.

Well, yeah, but you said you didn't like them cots. You're going to get rid of them cots. Yeah, those cots sucked. Yeah, we, you know, we live in Southern California, and we planned a camping trip out in Malibu, which I told Thompson, Like, what the hell kind of camping? You're doing Malibu.

I got camping in Malibu. It was close to the beach. Yeah, no. I'm going to be able to walk to the beach with the boys. Yeah, you could walk to the beach. No, it would have been awesome, but it never rains here, except for the three days. Our sons were on spring break, and we had planned a camping trip. So we made it a day and a half.

No. Did we even make it 24 hours? No. We didn't make it 24 hours. We made about 20 hours. We packed up at about the 20, 20 hour mark. Yeah, but I still defended. us for that.

Like, we could have stayed, but it would have been... Muddier. Well, we would have only been staying just, like, out of spite. Which we thought about. Yeah. Like, because there was, it wasn't getting any better, and it didn't get any better. We left, we went home, and by the time it quit raining, we already would have come back on. It would have rained the entire time we were there.

Yeah. We wouldn't have done nothing but sit in the tent and play eight of eight of, with a five and six year old. Boy, in a tent the whole time. Like, I love my kids, but I'd, do not love them that much. If I have an out option, we're going to take it. Well, that ain't got to do with loving them. Well, I can't, I wouldn't be able to handle them in a tent for, no.

It's almost like, it's almost like cruel to them too. It's like keeping a, like a Siberian husky pinned up in like a hot backyard kennel. for hours at a time you know it just ain't right but anyway yes we came home but the tent was

muddy as hell and so we put it up to air it out in the backyard and that's when them Swedes was coming over uh what do you think about all that what

Swedish documentarians coming to our house and I don't mean I don't care about the I'm not I don't mean the like the the all the house is messy part of it I mean, the fact that a Swedish documentarian came to our house.

I mean, what was he even doing? They're making a documentary tentatively titled... Trey Crowder? No. Comedy versus Trump. Okay. So he's interviewing political comedians. And he interviewed Bill Maher, and that's how they found me.

It was through me being on Bill Maher show or whatever, something like that. Okay. But I'm saying, like, what... How do you feel about all that? Is it weird? I mean, all of this is weird. Very weird. It's still weird to you?

Yep. But you don't care. I mean, no, I don't care. As long as you're not randomly inviting people over to our messy house. I don't. I don't do that. I know it was the last minute change. It really was less than a change.

But it comes up. I don't randomly just invite people over. Shit randomly happens. Yeah, but I mean, like, on top of all that, we're having guests for the next two weeks. Yeah, because I'm making a short film. Now, that's all me. We said anything about flying to Tennessee? No, okay, can't talk about that.

Okay. But, yeah. Well, I mean, I can say that we're flying to Tennessee this weekend. Yeah. Like, we, all of us, the whole family is going to be in Tennessee this weekend. Yeah, but Trey's coming. from his other shows. Yeah, I'm meeting y'all in Tennessee.

So I'm having to fly with a five and six year old from Los Angeles to Nashville by myself. That was your decision about you. I know. I didn't want to do that. But, I mean, that was my option. So. Well, anyway, that doesn't matter. So I want you tell everybody about how we met.

Oh, Lord. I get my version of it on stage. Anyway, so. How we met? Kind of not Try got hired at this bar restaurant

that we were working at in Cookville that I was working at in Cookville Trey got hired and it's called Crawdaddies Yeah it's awesome

you should go there It is awesome Drew it doesn't matter Drew has a run thing where he tells me that it's just mediocre

I know anyway we ain't got to get into all that anyway yeah it's in Cookville Tennessee it's called Crawdays

it's Cajun Cajian Cajun restaurant in the Cumberland Plateau of Tennessee because that's where you go for Cajun food but it is but I mean it is really really good though anyway go ahead I mean I just you got hired there and I thought you were a stupid frat boy mm-hmm which not partially incorrect yeah I had a chum strap beard yeah you know I weighed about 170 pounds yeah me too Jesus oh you wouldn't like 135

140 yeah you was banging banging and I didn't you're leaving so much out that I mean what is there to tell

that you pursued me I did pursue you I didn't do anything no you didn't even try not because I didn't want to you're just playing hard to get yeah exactly no I know I just

I thought you would be a waste of my time because what I mean is what I mean is and I've told you this before like you're super super I just you just seemed like your type was like bodybuilders because you ran a boot camp and you were always you were just super super like into fitness fitnessy and so I just figured you liked you know meatheads like big roided up dudes I mean I know that you don't but I'm saying that was my assumption because of all the stuff that you were into so i was like i was way more into the like or not i wasn't into but i'm saying at that time like dumb sorority girls that was my speed like that was way easier and so it was like with you i was oh and uh and you've known this

forever too i also thought oh my god you were like six years old than me or something. Which if that ate, like, I thought you were pushing 30. I can't always try to forget that. And it's actually been a running thing in our relationship ever since. I have a conspiracy theory that you're actually... There's multiple occurrences that would back that up. Yeah, yeah, but that you're actually like five or six years older than you let on

because you had like some secret past life like you were married before and that you and that guy, like that guy was in the mafia or you killed somebody or something. I don't know why. But you have now, like, this is all just an alias for you. And really, you're like, you fight your own death. But what did you think I was so much older? At the time, the reason I thought that, when we met I was 22, I think, 22 or 23. I remember you saying, I've never been in the Office of Crawdays and hearing you over having a conversation between you and chastity.

Mm-hmm. And I don't remember how I got brought up, but I heard you say, you're saying something like, I mean, I'm 24 years old, and I've ever been like, what? Oh, shit, I thought she was 30. She got three jobs. Like, you just seemed like, and I really mean this. I'm not saying this to try to, like, climb out of a hole I've dug for myself or whatever. I mean it. A big part of it was because, like, every other girl that I've been with up until that point was, like, girl.

And you were like a grown-ass woman. So I had my shit together. Very much so. And like you lived in that apartment that like, I didn't even know they had apartments like that in Cookville. Like I lived in a fucking like college slum lord fucking, you know. Yeah. And your apartment looked like it could have been a art gallery. Like literally.

It looked like an episode. It looked like something that somebody from girls, the show. girls on HBO, like some like hit person in New York would live in. That's what your apartment looked like. Yeah, I mean, I found the coolest place in Cookville to live. Yeah, and you had that and you were running your own like boot camps and where, I don't know, you're just, you seem very grown. And like I said, I was 22 or 23 and you seem much more grown than me and everybody else that I was around at the time. So that was part of it, but also like you looked. Like an old lady? No, you looked pretty much.

the same then as you do now in the face and stuff. You do. I mean, I'm saying, yeah, like, look, if I was saying right now that you looked 40, that would be insulting. But when you're 23 and somebody's saying you look, you know, 30, I think that's a compliment. I know, 50 year olds that would. That's like, that's a, you know, again, that's a maturity thing. Age doesn't mean shit.

So that's what I, that's exactly what somebody would say. Who is really six years older than the opportunity to me? I'm saying. Wait, what else came up later? Penny, uh, I like that might as well. I'll tell you a funny story. I posted, I even, I even actually posted it on Facebook. Yeah, no, Penny said.

Our friends, Shane and Penny and Oak Ridge, Penny saw a picture of you. I posted it. It was from, it was from a photo album. It was when you were a toddler, right? My aunt had made a photo album when I turned like 18, like for my 18th birthday. She had made a photo album of like every year, just random stuff. And I think that it was like every month. And it was like Halloween.

And so I posted a photo. I took a picture of this photo album. And it was my sister and I. And under it, it said like 80. I was born in 85. So it said like. 82, I think. 86 or 87.

No, it said at like 86 or 87. But I looked like I was like six. years old in this picture. Oh, I thought the date was wrong. Because I was. The date was... I thought the camera was, like, messed up and the date was wrong. It wasn't the camera. My aunt had just, like, written it under it. No, it was digital numbers. See, your stories falling apart again.

I'll go and get that photo album. No. Yeah, that is the story. No. So, but I, like, it didn't even register when I posted this photo on Facebook. It didn't even register that, like, the date, the date, because I would have only been two,

and the photo, I look like, I'm like, like I said, like five or six or seven. Right. And a friend of mine commented and she said, I didn't realize that you were so much older than me. Yeah. And I was like, what? We're the same age.

It was Penny, right? Yeah. Because I know Penny came over. Yeah, I feel like I need to pull that picture up. Penny was over at the house shortly after that and she was talking about it. And I remember, uh, yeah, maybe she didn't comment. Maybe she said it at the house. And then that's when you went into like believing again that I was so much older.

There's been other instances too. And I can't remember any right now, but just little like little funny things that seem to lend credence to the theory that you are secretly an old lady to bring everything full circle. uh damn i thought oh right so penny that's why i got my phone i was going to try to start something i mean and i'm just assuming it's actual penny that we know but it might not be uh it could be um like it could just be a totally random person it's just a coincidence so me and corin drew we're in pittsburgh on tour and i got a random uh text message from a six one five number in 615, that's in the Nashville area.

So it's a text message from a Nashville number, and it says, hello, this is, and I won't use this person's name, because anyway, hello, this is blank Penny's sister-in-law. I was wondering if me and my boyfriend can make an appointment for you to marry us. We have the marriage license. And like, well, anyway, but I was in Pittsburgh. So I said, Well, I'm honored.

Well, I'm honored by that, truly, but I'm in Pittsburgh doing shows or, you know, I'd love to. And then she goes, wrong number, sorry. But so, like, I think she was trying to. She was, like, trying to text, you know, some, like, preacher or something. Like, you know what I mean? Like, some. dude that it was like legitimate

uh yeah you know and then but i'm saying most people most wrong I don't know it just seems really like like most people do you know just the one yeah just yeah but I'm saying do most people have a friend named penny no I'm saying

no I think I think I think I think it is penny I actually meant to text like Shane about it but I think it is actually penny I think that what probably happened is they probably know some other dude, a preacher or somebody that actually marries people whose name is Trey

and gave them your number. And she was like hey Penny, can I get Trey's number or whatever? And Penny gave her my number on an accident is why I'm assuming it happened because yeah, I don't know very many pennies at all and that's a Tennessee phone number.

But yeah, it could just be a totally random coincidence. I don't know but it's funny to me because like how many douchebags would respond with like to a total stranger asking you to marry them with anything other than like what what are you talking about but i was just like oh of course i would i get these requests all the time like i'm just glad i didn't say something's like listen you got to understand if i do it for you i'll have to do it for everybody and it's just you know I don't know what I'm just, but, because I sat there for a while thinking like, ah, this is awkward. Not awkward, but like, oh, what I did?

Like, what was that? Like, agonizing or kind of what to say because I was like, oh, man, you know, Shane's my buddy or whatever, and I don't want to. But I really, but I was like, but I can't help it. I'm in Pittsburgh. Like, I was like, not sweating it, but, you know, I thought about it for a minute. Like, how did I respond to this? And now I put out of thought into it and responded. I'm sorry, wrong number.

Yes, you just found that picture and pulled it up and it was handwritten. That's the thing about you that I, you know. 1986, and I'm obviously like five. As with most wives, I feel like you will stop at nothing. To prove you wrong. Yes. Also, I have a bit about that right now. The cricket story.

Just read by it's been to the live show. and that story I tell about Katie and the Crickets and I'm not going to tell it here, come to the live show and see if you haven't, but just is that or is that not a true story? Do I have to admit it? Yes, it is a true story. Yes, it is a true story.

And, and, like, since then, like, I remember one thing that, so basically long story is short, like without doing the whole bit, she claimed to have seen the crickets. I thought it was faulty wiring in the house. She heard the sound of a cricket eating a piece of cereal and thought that it was like, yeah, like a wire shorting out in the house, like a fire hazard. And but when she told me that, I was like, what? Like, what do you mean? A fucking cricket eating, what are you even talking about?

And she got, like, mad about it. And so she was like, so what she ended up doing was. I caught a cricket. Catching a fucking cricket in a Tupperware container and putting a piece of cereal in the Tupperware container with it to demonstrate to me how loud the sound of a cricket eating cereal could be because she is an insane person. So that's the story. That's what happened. But, and I do a whole bit about it on stage. But then, since then, every now and then, like, the boys will bring up how much you love crickets.

Like they were chasing, they were, five and six years were chasing a cricket around the house. The other day with like a jar trying to catch it. I'm like, what are you doing? They were like, we'd get mama a pet cricket. Mama's always wanted a pet cricket because she had put the cricket in the jar before. Anyway, we've done enough time so I can release you now. That's right. Do you have any?

I don't think I have anything to talk about. I have a question for you. does your family do they like do they think that all this is real or what

uh like all this Hollywood shit I don't know I mean like what is real like because I still feel like

a lot of times you don't even understand I don't understand it right well I feel like your family is even a degree further removed than you

because I still feel like a lot of times. I know what it's like, because like Wainsborough is like Salina, and I'm saying, I know that in a place like Salina, the shit ain't real. Like, it's not, it's not a real thing that, like, real, ever happens to real people. It's all just like. Yeah, I mean, when you first quit your job, I mean, I had several people that were like, if you need to move in with us for a while, all this other stuff. I was like, you wouldn't have quit.

It's the first time you've ever told me that. Like, people in your family told you that. And friends and shit? You know, people were like, if you need anything. Like, they just were very much like, I don't know. I don't know. It was weird. It was very weird at the time because everybody's saying like, oh, if you need anything,

if you need anything. And I was like, dude, I would not have let Tray quit his job if he were not making more money. First of all, you don't let make any shit. Well, yes, I do. But anyway, no, yeah, I know. I don't know why I opened that can of worms right after I. said we could sign off because I mean I knew I mean I basically knew that already but I mean but yeah but I don't really understand it it's not about understanding it I mean

hell I don't understand a lot of it still but like I'm saying um like just for an example like page has told me that the whole Morgan Freeman thing made such a colossal difference with like people in and around like Salina and stuff and like where we grew up in terms of legitimizing my like me being a comedian yeah exactly

it was like you know what I mean like and I mean again I understand because I grew I know because like to me when I was a kid I don't know it's just it doesn't people don't understand me from a place like that like that this type of like career doesn't seem real. It's not a thing you can do.

You either grow up and do, you either like grow up and do a job. Just a job, job, just a job, just regular, whatever jobs are in the area.

Yeah. Or if you're going to exceed, if you're going to really sore, you might end up being a doctor or a lawyer. And like, and moving back. And that is it. Yeah.

Right. So being like a stand-up comedian or like, or, you know, a musician or, whatever. It doesn't really happen. Right.

That type of thing is not real to people in places where we are from. I mean, am I wrong? No, you are correct. Right. Well, so that's why I was asking about your family specifically. But my, I mean, my immediate family,

like... I know that, like... But everybody else from Wayne County... You have to realize that, like, I grew up in literally, the most red county in Tennessee. So they hate you. No, no, I know.

No, I know. So they don't care if it's real or not. To them, they're like, fuck him, whatever. Yeah, and I've talked about this on the podcast for it, because I talked about it right after it happened. But when your mom, we went to your little sister's wedding. And I was like, and I told you it, not that I was worried about it, but I was expecting, not expecting, but I wondered if any kind of weird shit would have,

Like any kind of passive-aggressive bullshit or if you buy it, just whatever. No, that just keeps their mouth shut. And nothing happened the whole time. And I was told your mom that later that night when it was over. I said that to her. And she goes, oh, no, but, you know, don't misunderstand. Like, there were a lot of people there who were floored that you didn't burst into flames when you walk through the doors of that church. You know, like they, believe me, that was a real thing, you know.

And she also said that night, because on that same note, there was a person. I'm not going to give any details. I'm about figuring out what I were talking about. But there was a person at that wedding. And we were talking about this conversation. And I said, like, yeah, there was this one person that I thought I could connect with because, you know, clearly that he's gay. Yeah. And your mom was like, what?

Yeah, he's. He's not gay. You know, and like, and I was like, what are you talking about? And then she said, and she was serious. She was like, Trey, no one's gay. Wayne County. That's true. She was like you, she's like, you can't be that. That's what she said.

Those were her literal words like, you can't, you can't be gay. You can't. And live in Wayne County. You, you move away and then you become gay somehow. I see, we had this conversation with Corey, we had this exact conversation, many, many episodes, because I was telling this story and Corey said that exact thing, since that's how this is

a chickamauga too. He's like, you move away and then like, that makes you gay. Yeah, that's how it happens. Do you about Jordan? Who moved out there to San Francisco and started sucking Wieners and I'm just like, no, he moved to San Francisco to suck Wainers. And then we came up with a modified version of the Toby Keith Lines. Go West young man, haven't you been told? California's full of whiskey, Wainers and gold.

Anyway, I know we're geniuses. But anyway, but that's what we were talking about before. I mean, you know my uncle, Tim. He lives in Salina. he lived there for like, that's not true of Salina. There were openly gay people living there, like my whole life growing up, my uncle was one of them. But there were other ones too who were like prominent members of the community.

I told you before there was a guy that was a business owner in Salina, very prominent member of the community, that I swear to God would come to high school ball games with two, like he's in his mid-40s with like two 20-year-old Puerto Rican male prostitutes, like boy toys. On his, on each arm to fucking Salina High School ballgames. Yeah. Can you imagine something like that happening in Wayne County?

No, I do. What do you think that's about? Well, not necessarily that, but a friend of mine, her husband, played for a, played basketball at a school near, that played Collinwood when I was at Collinwood. Collinwood is in Wayne County. It's in Wayne County. So there's Waynesboro, Collinwood, and Clifton. And he said that, so he played in a different county, but, you know, they would travel and play at Collinwood.

And he said that he remembers Collinwood because he said, oh, yeah, I've heard of that place before. I've been to that place before. He said, that's the place that I always got called the N-word. People would yell at ball games and stuff. What? Yeah. Oh, that's the place where I always. he's got called that. Oh, right. Oh, yeah. Yeah, no, there was a

a buddy-in-m grew up in Salina until he was about 15 and then moved one county over to Livingston just right next door when he was like 14 or 15 and he played football there. He played football at both places. And then we were in college years later, I was talking about it and he was telling me these stories about like when he was on the football team at Livingston, they had one black kid and like they'd put like nooses in his locker and shit like that. Yeah, they're crazy. And like,

nothing like that. It didn't happen in our school. Ever happened in Salina. Well, I shouldn't say ever. It didn't happen when I was growing up in Salina. Because, you know,

but. I'm not trying to talk trash about my hometown, but like, it's a good place to grow up if you are white and pretend to be a Christian. White Christian. But yeah, but yeah,

no, that type of, and I'm not, I'm not, and I'm not like defending or being an apologist about Salina. It's just, true. Like that, don't get me

wrong. Salina's a backwards-ass place. But like that type of crazy ass, like super redneck, hateful type shit, that type of shit did not happen. Again, like, when I, like... I mean, it didn't happen to Wayne County because there wasn't anybody

for them to be hateful against because everybody's white and Christian. Well, it was kind of the opposite in Salina. There was, we actually had a black community and like, I wish motherfucker would have put a noose and goddamn Sky Bones Locker or whatever. You know what I'm like like that's a way to get your ass whipped.

Yeah. And you know, a couple rednecks did get their asses whipped over that shit. But yeah, it just didn't, I don't know. Sky's Cedric Nymnium, they didn't play that shit. Anyway, okay, well, this has been a digression, but that's okay. Thanks for joining us, Katie, light of my life. Are you going to put all this in there? Yep.

No. Love you. Aren't you going to edit it? No. What? First of all, that's Corey's job. Second of all, Corey doesn't do his job. Thank you guys for joining us.

Love you. Bye. Scoot. Okay. First off, like I've said, a million goddamn times. Yes, I do. I do edit this goddamn podcast. What the fuck do you think this part is?

Right here, Trey Crowder, you think this shit just magically happens? You think that your portion gets done and then boom, there's just another part in here? You think that's how it works? It's actually not that hard. Anyways, this is me doing that, and this is also a segue into our very own and the lovely Drew Morgan, who left me another voicemail discussing Stormy Daniels and her interview. Please enjoy it and fuck you try. I'm just kidding, I love you.

You're my benevolent lord. You're responsible for everything good in my life, and I can never repay you. Skiy! Hey, Corey. What are you doing? Are you watching the Stormy Daniels interview? Have you been watching the Stormy Daniels interview? Everyone's watching the Stormy Daniels interview.

First of all, it's crazy to me that we know who this lady is. All of a sudden, I thought Stormy Daniels was like a dark and stormy with Jack Daniels until very recently, and I wish I still thought that. And I'm not saying I'm above porn. As a matter of fact, I want to talk about that and get into it. I'm just saying I didn't recognize her name, and now she's all anyone can talk about. And it's frustrating me. We're sitting here talking about whether or not Trump had sex.

We're doing it again. We already did this with the P-Tex. there's a huge part of me that wants to be like, who gives a shit if he got spanked by a porn star? I'd like to get spanked by a porn star. Everybody I know wants to get spank by a porn star. The people who deny that want to get spank by a porn star the most. And I realize that if you pay,

all right, first of all, let's talk about what happened in case you don't know, in case people don't know. What happened was Stormy Daniels was a porn star and a stripper and a director and a writer, okay? She was a Renaissance woman. And still is. And she had sex with Trump, which right off the bat, I know we're supposed to believe all women. I get to believe all women campaign.

But every time I hear about another woman having sex with Trump, I'm like, every part of me is like, I don't think we should believe this. I can't believe it. All right. But anyway, she had sex with Trump in 2006. Part of that was he liked being spanked. That's just a part of it. We have to all know that now. Something that he's into.

We all have to live with it. If I have to live with that knowledge, everyone else has to, too. and I want the world to know. Then she was paid off by Michael Cohen, Trump's attorney, to not talk about that because as part of the campaign, he wanted to keep her quiet, and they signed a non-disclosure agreement,

or Trump may not have signed it. Part of that non-disclosure agreement was that she couldn't write about it, talk about it, et cetera. But as Trump takes off and it leaks that she got paid $130,000 by his attorney, now it's the most popular story in the world. So imagine being this woman. Imagine being a porn star who makes okay money,

but probably not super rich money, who now has a story that's worth millions of dollars, but you're literally not allowed to take it because you took a payment of $130,000. That's crazy. What a position to be in. So what did she do? And I don't know if you know about this, Corey.

I'll tell you what she did. on a stripper tour called Make America Horny again. She Donald Trumped. Donald Trump. She took the thing that was negative in her life, and she went on tour with it. She went on a stripper tour. By the way, do you think that going to strip clubs for porn stars is like when Hollywood actors do Broadway to get back to their theater routes or whatever?

You know what I mean? Like every time you see that Harry Potter dude, he's in that play on Broadway. or whatever where he's all serious and he gets naked and everyone's like oh he's getting back to his art you think that's how porn stars are with strip clubs you know it's like sitting around just uh i don't know i mean i make all my money out here in the porn industry but something about getting dip and diet's ate off me by a girl alive really makes me feel alive i don't know food for thought you think they got groupies when they're on tour porn star groupies i bet they do Like the deadheads that follow the dead around.

There's just dudes in a parking lot waiting on the porn stars to show up at the next strip club. They've been following on the whole tour. I've been following her since 98, man. Saw her in Tempe, Arizona. That summer, wildest show I'd ever seen. Ended with a 17-minute circle square. Anyway, I'm getting off topic. Porn stars, they strip, and that's crazy to me.

And I'm not making fun of porn stars. And that's another thing I want to talk about. not everyone has been making fun of her, and some of it's lighthearted and it's fine, and obviously I'm a comedian. I'm fine for making fun of people, but it's clear to me that people on the left and right obviously look down at porn stars.

That's so shitty. Everyone watches porn. Look, if you don't watch porn and you want to look down on porn stores, that's fine, but you're a boring person who's never going to have fun in their life, and I don't care what your opinion is. If you're an adult and you don't watch porn or you've never watched porn,

I don't care what you think about anything. And if you do watch porn, but then you shit on porn stars, you're a hypocrite. You're like a drug addict, shitting on a drug dealer, you know? So anyway, where was I? In the middle of this story,

she goes on tour as a stripper under the Make America Great Again tour. She's hinting at it. See, that's not, I'm sorry, Make America Horny again, Tor. She's hinting at it. She's not revealing it. the story. But then, as the media starts uncovering and digging in more and more, she and her

lawyer argue that Trump himself breaks the non-disclosure agreement by talking about it. And it's revealed that he might not have even signed the damn thing, which is just so crunchy. Sink your teeth into that. The leader of the free world had sex with a porn star, paid her off, and then forgot to sign... This dude's responsible for America and he forgot to sign his name. That's literally the first thing you learn about a contract. Like when you're 18, you know that.

So anyway, he might not assign it, so she starts talking. And as she starts talking and the press starts going into this, the press finds out that when Cohen paid her off, he did it with funds from a super pack And that is paying off somebody with funds from a campaign, and that is illegal. It's a felony.

As a matter of fact, this is the very thing that got our old boy John Edwards screwed up, and whatever election that was. Man, doesn't that seem so long ago? John Edwards had a mistress that he went on vacation with, and then he paid her bills, or maybe he paid her to keep silent about it. Remember when America was so innocent that that was our biggest scandal, that an old rich dude who was like kind of that old rich good looking where he could pay for nice teeth had a girlfriend and everyone's like oh my god john edwin has a girlfriend he had no shit he had a

girlfriend look at him that guy looks he looks like a midlife crisis as a tie that's what he looks like a tie as a midlife crisis and that was our big scandal and now it's this anyway so that all happens And I want to talk briefly about the legality of all this. Non-disclosure agreements are usually binding. But as soon as one party breaks them, and when I say usually mining, I mean no matter what they say, even if it was for $10, if you can't talk about something, you can't talk about it. There's some exceptions like in a criminal court case,

which might be coming down the pike. But for the most part, you know, NDAs are binding. If you work for like the federal government, you probably couldn't be made to sign. one but that's not the point. The point is they're usually binding even for $10. So there's nothing that anyone could do to break the NDA unless

Trump himself breaks the NDA which they're arguing that he did now. They're also arguing that he didn't sign it so it's invalid. Another thing that's very interesting is that Trump hasn't tweeted about this. Now if he were at all even remotely what I would call

normal, I'd be like all right well he's just not touching this because it's a minefield and we're in the middle of litigation, but since he's clearly an insane person who can't stop tweeting, I feel like that's more proof that she's telling

the truth. He's already getting sued by her on multiple levels. I feel like he knows better than to say something against her, and then it come back on him to be a lie, A, and B, if he sued her for defamation of character or libel,

if he said she's lying, we'd have a trial, and the trial would be to decide whether or not she was telling the truth, which would mean that a lot of evidence would have to come in, and Trump would have to testify. That would be, you imagine that? We had a porn star trial? Oh, it'd be great.

It reminded me when I was working as a public defender in Knoxville. They started charging prostitutes with what is basically a pimp law. There's prostitution, which is a misdemeanor. And then there's a crime above that, which is a felony. And it's basically people who pimp girls out. And the theory behind it is that should be a stronger penalty because those people are predators. They're doing the same crime, but they're predators. And under the law, the way they described basically being a pimp,

one of the things was if you have a business, because that's one thing that, you know, like people who own, like, well, for lack of a better word, a whorehouse, they were charging these girls who didn't have other girls working for them who were not madams or pimps. They were just prostitutes, but they were advertising on backpage.com and the fucking goddamn fascist police were raiding these girls, abusing the shit out of them,

grabbing their tities and stuff on camera, you know, to quote unquote catch them in the act and prove that they're prostitutes, and then charge them with felonies, charging prostitutes with felonies, which is just disgusting. What a fucking disgusting thing. I can't say it enough.

The way we treat sex workers, porn stars, prostitutes, cam girls, strippers, whatever it is in this country. I know we all make jokes, but it's really fucking pathetic. Anyway, they were charging them with felonies, and we all had clients, all the public defenders, all the private bar, everyone had clients. We had these cases that had been assigned to us. I mean, they were like 15 in one day.

There was one particular cop. His last name was Denver, I think, who was really, really physically abusive to the girls. everybody hated the situation and they wouldn't give us deals. We were like, we're not taking felonies. We're not going to do it. So we were all walking around the back hallway behind the courthouse and this lawyer. Her name's Susan.

I can't remember Susan's last name. Plus, I don't want to say it. She was walking around the back. Furious. Now, you can understand. She is like four foot nine. She's brilliant. She has one of the thickest Appalachian accents you can imagine.

Oh, she just talked like this right here. She is walking back, pacing in the back because they won't give us misdemeanors on these charges. And she's going, I guess they just want to have horror trials to anybody who will listen. She's walking through the hallway, cops, prosecutors, judges, other defendants. Anyone who will look her in the eye while she's going on this ranch, she'll start talking to them. I mean, look, if they want to have horror trials, we'll have a goddamn horror trial. We'll have whore trials all fucking goddamn day long. I'll fucking defend this whore.

I'll defend another whore. I'll defend four whores in one fucking day. She walks by me, we make eye contact. What about you, Drew? You want to defend some whores? Let's have horror trials all day long. We'll get the press up here. We'll get the media involved.

We'll have them all come in and be like, here we go. Just a day of horror trials. Let's put the horrors on trial. What the fuck is happening to this God damn country? Fucking horror trials. Having to have goddamn horror trials. And that's the day she became my personal hero. And I decided that if I ever had to murder somebody,

I wanted her to be my defense lawyer. I've gotten sidetracked. Back to old Stormy McStormerson. Where we're at now is that she is openly breaking her non-disclosure agreement, but her claim is that she's allowed to because Trump broke his and because it was invalid because he didn't sign it. This is going to get litigated like a mother trucker, but the cat's out of the bag, the whole point of the non-disclosure agreement,

is to prevent her from talking. On that note, why? have someone sign a non-disclosure agreement if they're lying? Why would you do that? And then again, if it's a lie, why not tweet that it's a lie, which he loves to tweet about? You don't sue someone for breaking a non-disclosure agreement, which is what we have right now with Trump and her, if they're lying. You sue them for libel and slander. That's not what's going on.

So she is telling the truth. But I would like to point out to the left that while, yes, it could be a felony, and it probably won't come down on Trump. He's been too smart covering his tracks this whole time. It could be a felony to use funds from an election to cover that up. And yes, we've got to point out the hypocrisy of the fact that Bill Clinton had consensual sex with an aide, and Congress blasted his ass, and we had the whole, depends on what your definition of the word is, is. It's bullshit.

I agree with all that. but it's unbelievable to me that this is all we're talking about other than the March for Our Lives thing on the news. There's been a total fucking assault on the EPA. Trump's brought back

so many draconian practices. They're talking about re-adding citizen tests to the goddamn census. The last time we did that was 1950. And that's been one of the things they're tatin. I was like, well, we've done it in this country

for many years. We did it from 1880 to 1950. Man, what is it about? those years, I can't place it, I can't put my finger on it. What is it about those fucking years that these people who walk around saying, we need to make America great again? What could they have liked so fucking much about those goddamn years? We're at a fucking war right now, a cultural war. And yes, I still believe that this is the old guard, racist, scared, homophobic class of Americans dying. And this is what it looks like. And that's why it is a fight. I get all that.

but we have to step on their fucking throat. And that's why these kids and the Parkland kids are inspiring me. The way they've reached out to kids from other communities who have had violence in their own communities and where they've put, you know, black and Latino children on with their platform and saying, hey, you don't have a platform, you desire ours. It's fucking incredible. It's fucking inspiring. But my point is we're talking about porn star sex.

Why? I know it's salacious. I get that. I'm not stupid. And I know it's going to drive ratings up. but it's still a fucking distraction. It's still Trump making us focus on something that he's comfortable in. He's comfortable in this chaos.

He's literally a reality star. That's his background. Let's talk about that. He's not a businessman. He's a fucking reality star. A reality star talking about, I'm scary. A reality star fucking a porn star, that is one of the most mundane stories in the history of the world. it's literally every reality star is goal.

So, you remember Ace from Real World? He was on Girls Gone Wild. See what I mean? He was fucking porn stars. God damn it. Anyway, people aren't left me to stop shitting on sex workers. The fucking people and they're good people. And Stormy Daniels, buddy, she, like I said, is a stripper or writer.

She got nominated last year. I was reading about this for multiple awards at the Adult Video News Awards, which I hope we get to perform there one day. Stop shitting on sex workers. This whole like, oh my God, it's so, whoa, ho, she's a porn star who can trust her? Whoa, I can't believe you fucked a porn star without wearing a condom. What a joke. Yes, you can, first of all.

You can believe all that, and you can trust porn stars. I mean, who couldn't keep a secret better than porn stars? We think porn stars can't keep secrets? Porn stars got lots of secrets. I would say the first four hours of a porn star's day is just filled with hundreds of secrets that they don't share with anybody. Just secrets and dicks. Second of all, someone clearly committed a felony here.

I mean, I think. I don't think it's going to come down on Trump. It may not come down on anybody. Third of all, I totally believe her, even though I don't want to, because that means I have to believe that Donald Trump had sex with a fucking porn star. Fourth of all, legally speaking, and this ties to why, believer, Trump's in a fucking bind here. He's suing her for breaking a non-disclosure instead of suitor for slander and libel. And he still can do that.

It's not precluded that he can. He's not precluded from doing that at this point, but it's telling that he hasn't. You know, it's telling him, it's telling that he's not suing her for lying. It's because he doesn't want her statements to be put on trial as to whether or not they're true, because he knows he'll fucking lose. I've lost count, so I don't know what number are on, but finally I want to say, yeah, you know, we should investigate whether or not

they used campaign funds to pay off a porn star, but like, I think democracy might be crumbling, you know what I mean? So while it's fun to watch Anderson Cooper, go in deep with Stormy Daniels, there's an image. I bet he calls her Stormy D. I bet like when they were off camera He's like, what's up, Stormy D? That sounds like West Virginia's defense.

It's that Bob Huggins special. Anyway, I just think we should focus on important shit. You know, it's all falling apart. It always is. It always has been. It's chaos. Law of entropy.

What the fuck am I talking about? I'm going to bed. Bye. Ski. Thank you all for listening to the well-read show. We'd love to stick around longer, but we got to go. Tooney next week if you got nothing to do.

Thank you, God bless you. Good night and skew.