wellRED podcast - #64 - Crying On Airplanes + Katie Crowder Discusses Freegan Vegans

Episode Date: April 25, 2018

This week we talk about the darkness in comedy, Music, etc. and how (and why) we always cry on airplanes; especially when listening to certain music (Such as tunes by our good pal Lydia Loveless)Plus, a special drop in by Trae's wife Katie who discusses Freegan Vegans. wellREDcomedy.com for our tickets, merch, etc (SIGN UP FOR THE NEWSLETTER) smokeyboysgrilling.com for some tremendous beef and hawks rub from our sponsors!

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion. Because used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie. I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now. Skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people. People across the ske universe, I should say. Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year?

Do you even know? Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery? Getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low mane? Because that's a thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better. and it's called Rocket Money.

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I used Rocket Money and realized that I had apparently been paying for two different language learning services that I just wasn't using. So I was like, I should know Spanish. I'll learn Spanish. and I've just been paying to learn Spanish without practicing any Spanish for, you know, pertinent two years now or something like that. Also, a fun one, I'd said it before,

but I got an app, lovely little app where you could, you know, put your friend's faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies. You know, those weren't a little like the Q-ball looking twin fellas. Yeah.

So that was money. What was that a reply gift for? Just when I did something stupid. Something fat, I think, and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first. But then I quit using it and was still paying for it and forgotten. If it wasn't for Rocket Money, I never would have even figured it out.

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They're the... So, she boy, the show. Wellred comedy.com. W-E-L-L-R-E-D. Comedy.com spelled just like the podcast. Excuse me. That's where you can go for tickets to all our. shows. Merchandise. We've got new merch. Sign up for the newsletter. You can find out where we're going to be before anybody else and grab tickets before they sell out, which you know we often do. Thank you all for that.

Thank you to Michigan, Grand Rapids, Warren, and Lansing this weekend was so much GD fun. We had a blast with everybody. And the weather was better than what we thought it was going to be. We all packed our heavy coats and turned out you all got spring just in time for the well red boys to arrive. So we appreciate that. As always, always this portion of the podcast brought to you by smokyboysgrilling.com. Smokeyboysgrilling.com go there, get their beef rub, their hog rub, grab a t-shirt, send the guys some love, tell them we love you. They're winning festivals all over the country, placing in the top five at least.

They're starting to do chicken now and they're crushing. We love the guys and we're so glad to have them as sponsors. Actually last night, I've used the hog grub before, but last night was the first night I've used the beef rub on, I've eaten it before, but I've never used it myself. I cooked some steaks with it and it was fucking sweet. So please go by the beef rub by the hog rub. Smoky Boysgrilling.com. Enjoy this episode of the podcast. We did it in the green room in Grand Rapids Mission again at the Pyramid scheme, which we found out is named the pyramid scheme because it is in the town that Betsy DeVos owns like half of the motherfucker.

So that was a knock on her for Amway. So like, that was so freaking cool. Because we knew we were playing this place called the Pyramid scheme. We're like, oh, what a dope name. And we get there and we see like Betsy DeVos Parkway, Betsy DeVos Performance Arts Center. And we were like, does this have anything to do? And they were like, yeah, fuck that bitch.

So really cool place. If you're in Grand Rapids or anywhere near it, go see a show at the Pyramid scheme. We had a blast. So we recorded in the green room there. We talked about everything from comedy. sketch, improv, stand-up, we talked about music, art in general.

We talked about crying on airplanes and why you do that and just being sad in general. It's a great podcast. Before that, Trey and Katie did an impromptu little conversation that he sent me, and it is just too freaking adorable,

not to include. I don't even edit it. There's some stuff at the beginning where you'll hear it, but I decided to leave all that in because it was so cute. Anyways, enjoy this episode. We love you.

Well, well, well. Yeah, are you wanting me to put the headphones in? No. I'm going to see if we can, how we sound right now. This is the microphone. Now I'm going to test it. I know where the microphone is. Okay, hang on. Okay, now I've taken the microphone out and I'm just using like the onboard microphone for the phone. Oh, so you're just wanting to see what it sounds like on that?

Yeah. Where's the microphone now? Hilarious. Yeah. All right, so anyway, we're turning this all. just because we were watching Moscahcher and Natasha Lazaro's Honeymoan stand-up special which has been

cracking me up and you know Natasha did my first Largo show or the first one I had guests on it. Yes. And she was insanely hilarious and very sweet too. Anyway, we were watching this and they do a part at the end where they bring

other couples in the crowd on stage and they roast them and the second couple up there is this very Portland you know if Portland was a couple that's what they look like and um that's what most of the jokes are about and Natasha said something about they said they were at a vegan hostel and Natasha said were there any freegins there and she said the lady and the girl and the couple said just me I was the only one and me and Katie were made and they just moved on and me and Kaye were like wait what like is that a real thing what's a frigan and neither of us had ever heard that and

She, uh, so Katie looked it up and I'm still not clear on what, so what did you find out? They, they eat vegetables out of the garbage. No, but, no, you were saying that joking, right? I mean, what? I think. They only eat vegetables. Not vegetables. I think that some, like, heartless member of the patriarchy has thrown away.

That's the only kind of vegetable. that they eat. I don't, that cannot be what it really is. I think that you can be, it's completely, it's completely different. Then what? Then like a vegan. So it's not, it's not, it's not. Well, then they should have went with a different name. I know, I agree. So apparently you can be a friggin, but not a vegan, so you can eat all the trash. Oh, well, at least there's that.

Me and Corey could be fregans then, for sure. All we eat is trash. But hold on, wait a minute, though. You're saying Fregan is not at all related to vegan. Like, I mean, not really. Like, you can be both vegan and Fregan, but you can be a friggin and eat meat. They're not, they're not intrinsically related. As long as you're getting that meat out of the dumpster. No, there's no way.

Yes, what is, look, read it. Fucking dumpster burgers. Freganism is a practice and ideology of limited participation in the conventional economy and minimal consumption of resources, particularly through, And minimal consumption of resources, particularly through recovering wasted goods like food. Yeah, but wasted. What is it? I mean.

Thrown away. Trash. I mean, yeah, but like, they only eat trash? I think, I don't know. Come on, man. Things that would be thrown away. Well, when you're having this, when we first started having this conversation, I went and got the phones, I wanted to record this, because I realized I think it's funny, like, you should do a series of these or of sketches or something. I'm going to do a bit or something about me and you, like, learning about California together.

I Google a lot of things. Yeah, I know, me too. But it's funny because I don't, I mean, that's, you know, that's fine. If you want to eat trash, that's fine. You know, that you're right as an American. But, like... That's all you eat? Yeah, no, can't be.

If this does go on the podcast, if this audio quality ends up working well enough, or, you know, if Corey just, you know, doesn't listen to it. And it's like, yeah, it'll hit. That's fine. If this does end up on the podcast, I'm definitely going to get some tweets and stuff explaining to me what frigginism really is and is not, I guess.

Because you ain't doing the best job, which is Google food over there. Not a lot about it. Well, okay. Oh, maybe I typed it in wrong. No, you didn't? Yeah. Yeah, but.

Yeah, I need one more letter, look. No, but it's given you. It was already given you the responses for, or the results for. No, there's more stuff. Okay. Because. She spelled it with only one E the first time. Which is apparently.

Fragon. I don't think it's from a book Okay, well anyway So now that you found actual Fregan Jedi Apprentice, what? Freakins appearing Jedi apprentice is the only witness At some Star Wars

Extended the Universe stuff Sorry I don't know, I'm not That's not what I was like in there I only know the movies really Okay, what, tell us There is a need for more Freakins In our wasteful society

That's what it says That's gonna be a hard note for me, dog. I only have 5% battery left. But I don't like, you know, I actually, I have a thing about wasting food. It drives me crazy. I hate to waste food. Yeah, I know.

I do. Like, to the point that, like, if I'm at a bar or restaurant with somebody, not just you, like friends or whatever, and they're going to, we're about to leave and there's, and I'm about to explode. I'm about to die. I'm so full, but they've left like, you know, one and a half onion rings on their plate or something. Like, I'll eat it.

That's just because you were a fat kid. I mean, you. Yeah. No. Look, it's not, it's a causing effect thing here. It's a chicken and egg thing, is what I'm saying. Which came first? Yeah. I'm saying part of the reason I'm fat is because of what I'm telling you. And part of the reason that I'm that way about wasting food is because I'm fat. I'm saying it goes both ways.

I mean, I was taught that. And I'm not fat. I am now. But I wasn't when I was a kid. Kid. Anyway, yeah, no, but so, like, fundamentally, I get it. I try very hard not to waste food, but, like, and I get mad at myself when I do waste food, but, like, I'm not going to eat trash. Freagans are dumpster divers who rescue furniture clothes. Rescue.

They're rescuing sofas now. Fucking dogs and cats and shit, wasn't enough. It's like, oh, it's a rescue sofa. It is. I've got to like a fucking note of that. Household items and even food cast off by others. So it doesn't necessarily just mean food.

Right. Because we, we, okay, well this makes more sense. It's just another name for dumpster diving or whatever. Well, we were thinking vegan. Well, why wouldn't you? Yeah, I know. But so I immediately went to food and so I'm like,

they're eating vegetables out of the trash. Yeah, that's what I thought too. Only vegetables. Yeah. Only from the trash and only vegetables. I mean, I guess they can have fruit also. Vegetables and fruit, that's what rots the quickest. That would be the hardest thing to eat out of the trash.

Because by the time somebody's the quickest. Rots. By the time somebody's throwing a vegetable or fruit in the trash, usually, it's because it's, yeah. So, like, it'd be way easier to only eat, you know, donuts out of the trash. Friggins. homeless, in fact, most could easily afford to buy their own food. Okay.

They've instead chosen to live what they believe. All right. You could not put that part in there. I'm just saying. No, I know. I want to get back to watching this because I think it's funny and then we need to go to bed. But I just thought I'd try to share this with

people if it's working. That, it being the audio that is. I mean, I like free shit. Yeah, but again, it's, All right. Okay, so back to you regularly scheduled whatever the hell meekore and Drew were up to. Skew. Well, whale, whale, red.

Down, down, down, down, down, deem. So, loyalty. Like, I feel like that's a characteristic of our people. For sure. You know? Loyalty and pride. Loyalty and pride. Yeah.

Well, so, and I've thought a lot that I have that also as it pertains to, like, art, like fandom. I'm a pretty big fan. Hold on just a second. This is a problem. Jesus Christ. I have tried to start this fucking podcast three times now. Well, this one you're going to like, though. You want me to get the wine, don't you?

Yeah, what's happening? He don't know how to do it, or it's being stupid. He figured it out. Two pap paws in the past five minutes. couldn't figure out how to work a very papal thing yeah thank you sir box of wine we ran into a I told Corey off magma and drew ran into a papal and well we couldn't figure out of work atm um anyway I'm that way when it comes to fandom I'm a pretty big fan boy like once I decide did I like something or someone I'm pretty hardcore on board with them like it takes a lot like

we had drew have talked a lot about kings of Leon and I was such a huge Kings of Leon and it took me way longer than most Kings of Leon fans, I think, to not turn on them, but, you know, but to admit that, like, they fell off. That they fell off, exactly. I was, like, very in denial about that for a long time. And I'm like that, I'm also like that with the Gaslight Anthem. A lot of people think that they fell off. It's pretty, you know, and I love their past two albums.

I love the shit out of both of them. And I see other Gaslight Anthem fans talking about how, God, what has happened to them? And I'm like, I don't know. They're hitting to me. Right. Well, another thing that you just touched on that you do is when you, quote, unquote, turn, you don't really turn as much as you're like, all right, they don't hit no more. But it's like, I basically hold a grudge.

Yeah, fucking forever. I'm not like fucking forever, but like the Kings broke my heart. Right. Whereas you're like, yeah, they stop hitting. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah, no, that's true. I'm that way also.

And this has been on my mind lately because of Casey Musgraves' latest album. Sure. Have you listened to it at all? listen to that one song that the single yeah worst song on it it don't have bye bye but but it is indicative of a lot like that album is way pop here and anything she's ever done before that song is the most egregious and shittiest is it good pop though because i like good pop that that that's what i'm getting that is that and that that song don't hit for me but that's what i'm getting that is and i don't know if it's because of just the way that i am but like i like it right it's like pop country which i

hate, but I like that album because I just love her so much. I like, I like Belved Elvis a lot. We've mentioned this a lot. What about that other song that you played last and that? Oh, Rainbow? I don't know why you bring that up. I don't really, I don't really have any good example. It's a song

made me sad, Corey, is why I'm saying that. Yeah, but that's okay. Right. If a song, that's, that's, well, yeah, well, you know, he knows that. Who are you talking to? This motherfucker would be listening to Elliot Smith with a bag over his head. I know that. I know, but I like to call that sophomore year. With this specific song, he has been like,

maybe sad, don't hip. Why'd you do that? You know why it made me sad. There's a very specific reason that I don't want to get into. Yeah, I'm not, I'll get into why it made me sad. I didn't bring it up to get into your personal shit. No, I know. I think it's an awesome song.

But I was just trying to hip. It's the last song on the album, and it's about, it's like she's singing to her lover or partner or whatever about how she just, she really wishes that they would get out of the funk that they're, Yeah, don't hit. The song rules, though. No, I know.

You know, we talked about... We'd be crying on airplanes. Yeah. But in that song, you talk about wrecking. I meant being in a rut, don't hit. It's perfect. That song fucked me up. It's perfect to write about it.

That's kind of like Summers End by Prime that new one guy. Awesome fucking song. That's the one I told you all to listen to. I know. God damn, it's good. I had, I pre-ordered that. Like, I do any Prime shit or miserable shit ever that comes out. And I listened to it in one go at midnight when it came out and I was drunk.

and I was drunk, which I would advise doing if you listen to anything new, and Summer's End about ripped my fucking butt haul out. You know what I've seen about the other day? This is sort of a tangent. It's related to what you just said. I'll be crying at airports. Y'all be crying at airports. Airplanes.

I'm sorry, on airplanes. Yeah, that's what I meant. It's both. It's both. Well, it is both, but I meant airplanes. And I was like, oh, when we first started talking about that, I was like, yeah, man, airplanes just make people feel sad, thinking about death. Is it that, or we just always.

on airplanes. We're always on airplanes. And we'd just be crying. I'd be crying at a Mazda dealership right now, but I happen to be in a fucking airport. I'll say this. I tweeted a couple weeks ago, and this was true, and it just happened. I said, so I just read a totally benign message from my son's kindergarten teacher while explosions in the sky happened to be playing on my Spotify.

And anyway, y'all ever cry on airplanes? Yeah. And Lydia Loveless responded all the time. Yeah, but I don't think that that puts any dent one way or the other in the theory that I have positive. She stay traveling, she stay sad. Right. Yeah. I'm just saying it ain't just us.

Sure. No, it's not just us, but I do think that if you're... Jason Isbell flying over water makes you cry. Yeah. Right. But I'll say that... It's a thing. I mean, again, I think that most people that fly a lot just by nature are going to be more sad because the sheer nature of that means you're gone a lot.

You're away from home. Okay, not usually, because a lot of times there's businessmen that have to fly or whatever, but a lot of artists be flying and be traveling, and artists by nature are more emotional people. That's kind of what you got into it for. You tap into your softer side. So, I mean, it makes sense. And, man, most of the time, especially coming home, if you come in home on a plane, you are out of serotonin. You're out of energy.

And those are usually the times from, like, you can't hold it together. What about that study of one of y'all was telling me about the muscles tensing up on airplanes? so maybe that's part of it. We've talked before by how like a travel day just wipes us out. And we've said, like we've jokes. It's like, I don't know, I've just been sitting for eight hours. Like, why am I so tired? But there's a lot of, there's a lot of data on why that is.

And basically it comes down to it comes down to it. It comes down a lot of things. Something about the air, the air pressure, and the pressurized cabin, the dry air, like dehydrate you and dehydrate you. And dehydrate and dehydrate and don't hit. No, don't hit. And then. You said something in the motion? And then it's like because the plane is constantly moving and shifting a little bit,

your body subconsciously, you don't, it's involuntary. But like your muscles are constantly like keeping your body upright, basically. Even pilots? Like trying to reconcile. The equilibrium. It's trying to reconcile the movement of the plane the whole time. A. And B, does that happen on boats?

That study happens on boats and cars. Yes. And the study I sent you was, it was done by the U.S. Air Force. on pilots for that reason. So yes, it does affect pilots. Yeah, and that actually goes into what I had read yesterday. It's not the same study, but it was talking about motion sickness in any form on a plane, in a car, on a boat or whatever. And what that is is like a doctor sues for sadness that you just did.

Yeah, on a boat, on a plane, in a car. I'll cry everywhere. Sick all over the world. Yeah. So I'll cry on a plane. I'll cry in a boat. Yeah, one tier, two tear. Look here.

I don't have shame. I don't have hope. We all know. We all know what wanted to come next. I'm sorry, everybody. So anyways, what it was was that we, and apparently this will, through evolution, eventually, not in our goddamn lifetime, get better,

but humans, traveling like we do, is a very new concept. Flying, driving at high speeds, being on, not necessarily being on boats, but being on fast fucking boats. So when you get car sick or plane sick or whatever, it is your brain whenever you move that fast and the equilibrium shifts or whatever your brain reacts to that the same way your brain reacts to if you're being poisoned and it thinks you're being poisoned and so naturally it wants you to throw up to get the fucking poison out then i'm on the plane and i order poison yeah from the sky waitress yep and listen to lydia lovelace's light as shit and you want to kill yourself which i love you lydia but you know you've got some sad lyrics yeah and i keep punishing myself with them i was listening to an interview with the

Matt Burninger from the national. What's up, buddy? Guest. Guess list? Yeah. No, we have some other one. Here, I'll, yeah. My cousin's here.

Okay. What? Y'all go ahead. I have to find it. I've got people all over the world. I mean, I feel like me and you have. Y'all have more, dude. Yeah, we do.

More, but like in seven cities. We always in Grand Rapids when we run the Strait's people. Yeah. For sure. Like, you having them in Boston totally makes sense. Right. Me having somebody in Denver. kind of makes sense a little bit.

But I don't know, man, you kind of surprised, well, it doesn't surprise me anymore. You guys don't have everybody for these shows. No, hell no. I didn't even know Grand Rapids was the place until we came. If I know somebody in Grand Rapids, I'm sorry about it. I did know it was a place, which is why I thought there would be something here. This is my cousin that y'all met in Indianapolis, and he, we're now going to Goshen.

Gohan guy. What the fuck is he doing here? I don't know. What's in Grand Rapids? You said you never heard of it. I have. I don't be where his wife's right? Why have I heard of it?

By the way, if he's here, why the fuck do we have to go to Goshen? No, I'm kidding. I'm fucking kidding. So what's in Grand Rent? Why am I heard of Grand Rapids? Is Michigan State here? No, that's where we just let's. It's in East Lansing where we just were.

Oh, I don't hit. And Michigan, University of Michigan is in Ann Arbor. So like. But it ain't central? No, I mean, it ain't. Central Michigan's not here either. By the way. Grand Valley States was here.

By the way, I've heard of Grand Rapids, but like, I don't know anything about it. But why. Yeah, I don't know why. Actually, you know what? Troy was telling me outside. Grand Rapids is slowly becoming one of the, it's the second biggest city in Michigan now behind Detroit. So maybe they're, maybe they're bus. Well, and fucking Betsy DeVos or DeVos or however the fuck you said.

Well, I wanted to point out the name of the place we're performing at Grand Rapids is called the Pyramid Scheme. I think that's a shot at her. I asked them. Well, their family. I asked them. And they said yes. Absolutely did that. That's for me.

She owns half the fucking town. This is absolutely a knock on her name. Like, oh, that's where she's from. I was like, that's definitely what that is. Yeah, it 100%. It has to be. I'm so happy we're here. This has been a good run in that regard.

We performed at a Carpenter's Union. Uh-huh. Now we're at a place named just as a shot towards Betsy DeVos and her family. And the first day we played a church. It was a church. It was one of them new age churches. Them creep me out. Oh, dude.

I talked about that a little bit on stage. These are worse. I talked about a little bit on stage and I think I accidentally started touching on what was a Maria Bampford bit. You ever heard that bit where she talks about how them new churches are weird because your friend will invite you and you think you're just going to a poetry reading because of the name? The name's like,

down by the river or whatever. There's a big one that was in Knoxville. What's it called? I think there's two or three. There's a huge one that I believe producer Bryce went through. Something truth, something the true way? Nah, it's less on a nose in that. True way.

I'm like, all right, this is a cold or a church? It turned out to be a cold. Of course they killed the producer's. Is it something about a river or live, live, live, live. You know what? Is it Rio? Which is what that one was called, which is the Spanish River River River.

No, it's longer than just three others. They franchise these motherfuckers out now. Rio International is a very big church that has various. That kind of surprises me, actually, that's not, or is that a thing? Like, franchise churches. Well, the way I look at it, I mean, Baptists. Baptists. I know that.

I know that, but I mean, like, they have the exact same name. Like, this is. But they do a lot of times, don't they? In terms, well, I mean, just like. First Baptist, second, bad. The whatever name of the town is, first church of God. I guess that is the same thing. whatever I mean, yeah.

I just meant like could I franchise a church? That's what I want to do. Yeah, I mean, you've got the Peeway Girl softball team. I do. Time to move up. How they doing? How they're looking at you? I was just thinking I need to text Tiffany and see.

I mean, look, I can appreciate a hands-off approach to ownership, but you should at least know what your record is. For everybody that don't know, I got drunk and am the sole sponsor of a five-year-old softball team in my hometown because I knew that if I did that, they would have to put sponsored by the well-read comedy tour on their banner, which they did. Corey, if you don't do everything you can reasonably

without, of course, like fucking with five-year-olds in their lives, act like a real owner. Just come down there in a suit. Just build a box. Somebody. Build a box. Go over to the coach.

Listen, I'm sorry. We got to have a talk about Julie. Crystal's got to go. I'm sure she's a good girl, but this is a fucking business I'm running here. You know, I got other kids to feed.

Build a box. Yeah, yeah. And then with a glass and just sit. sitting there and eat oysters and rest of the fucking yeah dude that's hilarious please do something like this

we don't have time please go to at least one game I'm going to go I want to go to a game in fact I'm going to email Tiffany after this I want to go to a game but it says sponsored by well red so we should all go in soon

it says sponsored by the well red comedy tour I'm just going to walk around shaking everyone yes I'm a minority owner here out if they've got a game on June 1st I'm the only kind of minority owner that town would allow if they got a game on June 1st we'll be there with suits already.

Oh my God. Wait. Oh, yeah. Wait, June 1st. It's the day before. The day before my wedding. That's a Friday. Yeah.

They would have the game on a Saturday and most likely would. Okay, but my wedding ain't until six. Hey, game, bitches. We already going to be drunk. This is what the wedding party's doing. Yeah, dude. We're going to fucking, we're going to my team's game. That's so fucking funny, man.

No, I really do want to go. Like, I want to go down there and check it out. But I did that out of spite. And I'm going to tell you, I spent a, thousand dollars just so that people in my hometown that don't like us and what we're about would have to look at that and go god damn it i hate them liberal queers but they give back to their fucking community look and i mean i know that you're okay with this but i'm i mean clearly me and drew are technically i mean we're partners in this deal absolutely we're co-owners here i thought

you're going to say me and drew technically have cornered the market on doing things out of spite because we've been fighting about a bit for seven years i want you say fighting about we've just been trying to talk about how we both want to do it should be a bit that we do that and Everything we do good is just out of spite. It's just to make the others. It's just to piss off the ones on the other side. Piss off the right person, yeah. I texted my friend Randy, who has hit and hits for a long time,

and I just said, I kind of feel bad because. Will's dad? Yeah. I said, I kind of feel bad because. My friend. Yeah. I mean, I know he is your, but that's just, that's funny to me. Well, I know.

I just, I wasn't going to divulge all the information that you've done now. Yeah. So, I know. So anyway. I hollered at him and I told him what I did because I was drunk and I said I kind of feel bad because I 100% did this out of spot and to stick it to people and he goes Don't feel bad that's the fucking best way to spend money. Are you kidding to me?

He's like, didn't it feel good? He's like, didn't it feel good? I was like, dude, it gave me chills. He goes, goddamn right. Now you want to make more money so you can do it again. We need to get back to, and I mean I know don't help, but we need to get back to at least in theaters and stuff, closing the show out together. That could be one of the stories, one of the musicians.

We talked about making like mutual bits. Yeah, instead of a story, it could be us. This is the, like, almost like a TED talk. Like, listen. Red talk. Red talk. It's very important that we invest our money wisely in these troubling political times. So Well Red is here to tell you liberals how to invest your money.

Just spend your money in a way. This is how you get your own happiness and do the most good in the world. Just try to piss conservatives off. And by nature, you'll end up doing some good. Absolutely. We'll do it out of spite. Absolutely. That feels good.

And that's fine. If you can, we found a way to write spot off on taxes, which hits so fucking hard. Oh my God. I think that makes you Republican, though. Yeah, but I mean, if it's for the refits, you're giving money to like, you know, writing off your own game, dogs.

Writing off spikes. Fire with fire. That's what I say. If I could write off spite, I wouldn't, I'd have made negative $400 since the day I was eight. So, Corey, earlier you said most artists end up being artists because to get in touch with their softer side.

I don't say they do that to get it. He said there are in touch. We are in touch with our soft side, which led us to become artists. Well, either way, it just reminded me of a conversation we were having yesterday about comics. And we were trying to say, like, are there any examples? And what examples are there of stand-up comedians who aren't? Who's bit dark. Right.

Even if they're clean. Like, even like, because we were talking about Brian Regan and Jerry Seinfeld. Gaffigan. Just as Jim Gaffigan, just as two examples. Gaffin used to, like, smoke. can talk about depression. If you listen to what they're saying, it's like, this is a person who hates everything. Even Gaffirgan.

It's like you say they're doing a shampoo bit. It's him looking at shampoo bottle and be like, this is the dumbest. I want to say something because I know what you mean, but it may have sounded a certain way to people listening. Trey's not saying that every stand-up comedian's basis is I hate everything. Right. The examples we try to come up with of people who are nice underneath it is spite. Spite. We also talked about how like.

And then there's like, like a flip side of that of like Maria Bannford's very sweet but all of the jokes are about sadness and darkness. Right. And I think Brian Regan's very sweet. He has a sweet demeanor on stage but everything is about, you know how, but he does it like this. And I've always kind of thought his voice and the way he talks on stage is his inner monologue coming out. That's how when he looks at something, because he doesn't really talk exactly like that.

That's also what Gaffigan does. Hi, my love my side. Right. So Brian Regan, I don't know, he looks at it worse. Don't test on animals. I wasn't going to. Like, that's just how he thinks of it in the shower, and then he says it. I can't not laugh at any reference to a Brian Regan bits.

They're awesome. They're all great. The way we got on this subject was talking about, and I don't remember why we were talking about this. I see where we're going with this. You opened the package of the Pop-Tart, and then you put it in the toast. Okay. See, what I was going to do.

I was just going to stick it in there into foil plastic. Yeah, dude. I love that bit. And it's so silly and stupid, but he's talking about being at that art gallery, and he's like, Somebody comes up to me. He's like, I can hang out for about two seconds, and they say something I don't know. And I just go, I have to go home now. And then they're like, do you like Monet?

I love Monet. Matter of fact, I spent a lot of Monet when I was in Paris. You know what I'm saying? But the basis of that whole thing is how stupid he thinks art galleries are. Right. And or himself. And or himself for not being able to enjoy it. The way we got into that was talking about how comedy don't hit for kids.

Yeah. Other than like comedy nerds. Slipstick hits for. for kids. Oh, yeah. Because that hits for anybody. Well, yeah. Stand-up comedy specifically. Dude, I've talked, like,

we watched, I watched Home Alone for the first time in a few years this past Christmas with my sons. I have never seen a human being laugh harder at anything than my six-year-old was laughing at the whole break-in sequence at the end. Getting hit the whole thing.

It's awesome. And, oh, man, I was laughing. Yeah, it was hitting, but I'm saying it like, dude. That's the only comedy kids can relate to. Getting hit the nuts. He was falling out. And farts, yeah. And farts, though. we were saying yesterday

like it don't hit for younger people a lot of times because like they don't have the They like sex jokes At like 13 you start liking sex jokes The first joke I remember really loving It's only thing they can relate to Greg Fitzsimmons For that comedy central spot

I've talked about it on here before That 30 Minutes special he had was so good He was my favorite comedian when I was younger One of the jokes was How he saw Ron Jeremy At a gas station Daddy And he was like

I thought it was him, but then I wasn't sure. And then I knew it was him. That's going to sound like I just called Ron Jeremy Daddy. I was looking at you and that's what I thought you were doing? And I was like, oh, what, my daddy? I'm not that way. I just called Trey Daddy. Hilarious.

Yeah, there's something weird about what I did, guys. Anyway, the end of the joke was, and then I knew it was him because he pulled out the gas pump and sprayed all over the car before he put it back up. I remember. And, you know, I'm like 14. It's hilarious. That's the greatest joke I've ever heard. I mean, and obviously it's not.

No, but it is a panger of a joke. Yeah, sure. So I think sex is the first thing you get. Because that's like, you know, you get overwhelmed with them thoughts at 13 and 14. Yeah. Farts and dicks and violence. By the way, that don't go away. No.

You just start thinking other shit's funny too. Yeah, like sadness. But the only thing, like you can't, like a 14 year old kid cannot sit there and appreciate Ray Romano going, oh, my mortgage, because they don't fucking know what a goddamn thing. They can go, this is a funny guy. He can do something the last, but like, But in order to truly appreciate comedy in a lot of forms, you have to have missed a credit card payment, had your shit fucked up, had your heartbroken, had someone close to you fucking die. Like, there's a lot of, it's just dark by nature.

Because you're, what's the point in going up and talking about something that's happy? Everybody's like, yeah, okay. Put in the song, queer. I have a theory why. It's like that. And, I mean, it's not my theory, but it's one that I read and I was like, this is bullshit. And then over the years, I'm like, oh, man, them dudes are running something. You know those dudes that wrote that book, it was a psychologist and a bio something?

And they tried stand up. They were out of Denver. They tried to stand up for a year and they wrote a book on it and blah, blah, blah. And their example of this- Everybody that does stand-it for a year thinks they should write a fucking book. Well, they did it the other way around, but that's hilarious. Their theory was every joke has some sort of violation inside of it. and it tickles your fight or flight response,

but not so much that you actually feel in danger. And I said tickle accidentally, but the perfect example is how you can't tickle yourself and how a stranger probably can't tickle you because when they go to tickle you instead of laughing, you get mad. But if somebody you're comfortable with goes to tickle you, you laugh because you feel uncomfortable but comfortable enough. This is actually super interesting to me.

That's what they call it. Because I saw a hand job from your second cousin. I saw an interview with Jordan Peel recently, you know, writer-director of Get Out, famous before that for Kea and Peel. Super hit a movie. Very funny motherfucker. And then made that Oscar-nominated movie, which it absolutely deserved is one of the best movies of last year. He was talking about, in this interview, he was talking about how, you know, they asked the obvious question, you know, you're a comedian. You know, why the jump to horror, you know.

And he said, actually, I've always thought that comedy. in horror actually kind of sister genres because they both have to do with something unexpected something, yeah, something you don't see coming happening and it, like, that emaciates a response and you can't control. That you can't control. Exactly.

And I never thought of that because, like, I don't know about y'all, but like, horror don't hit for me. That movie hits Supreme though. That movie's amazing. Yeah. Good horror hits very hard for me, but it's so rare in my opinion. This new one is very good. But I fucking, you know, comedy, that's my shit.

For sure. But horror just don't hit for me generally speaking. But I agree with what he's saying, though. I do too. It makes sense. It's the same as, you know, I've always said a good joke is essentially a magic trick, which is why, like, you don't really, most common, you don't want to hear the same joke too many fucking times because once you know how that the rabbit's getting pulled out of the hat, you're like, well,

what am I watching this for? Like, I know the surprise and the surprise is everything. And that's why you can't tour on the same jokes unless your Seinfeld. for years and years, like the way that, you know, bands get jokes, songs requested. Right, it's different. You don't, yeah, there's no, I mean, sometimes there's surprises in songs. Like, uh, the, well, that's what a jam band is. Well, a really good example is Long Black Veil.

A joke. Right. Like Long Black, the song Long Black Vale, you know, there's a kind of a twist, there's a twist at the end where this, you know, this dude's been pork in the wife and then he ends up dying, she haunts his gross. So, like, there are songs that you're like, oh, I didn't see that coming, but you still want to fucking hear it again

because at the very least it's a catchy melody. Jokes don't have a beat. Jokes don't have a... I mean, there are beats to a joke, but they don't have... You don't just throw... No way we're throwing a comedy record

at a party and everybody's like, hey, yeah, let's fucking. You're not doing that. Right. No, was it... Bill Bursay's like, no, Chris Rock, nobody's ever had a hit.

There's never been a hit joke. You know, like, you can get a hit song. I don't know if I agree with that completely. He meant in terms of monetizing it. Ron White, Tater Salad. But I'm saying there's some people they write a song, one song, and Vince Gil said about this one guy, I can't remember, he goes,

they go, all he did was write this one song, and he's like, yeah, but I promise you, he loves going to his mailbox every three months, because they play this song so many times. He lives off this one song, but there's never been a joke that you write, and that joke gets monetized to the degree of a hit song. What about you might be a redneck? Maybe, but, like, they're not going to use that in a movie, is what I'm saying. Right, that's true. That's what I mean is it can only be one thing.

Like, yeah, the books or whatever, but like, once they stop selling, they stop selling, Mrs. Robinson by Simon and Garfunkel, they will use that shit, 50 years from now I was a thing about that song the other day. What a hidden song. It's unreal hitting song. And like James Taylor,

he has so many songs that just pop up in every movie about the 70s, any football movie. There's going to be a fucking James Taylor song in it. He can just go to his mailbox and never do another guy.

As Martin Scorsese is inspiring younger directors, the Rolling Stones will also always be played in movies. Yeah, I was thinking about that. I was thinking about him and soundtracks today because I was looking up the cast

for the Irishman, which is a new one that's going to be on Netflix. And it's a Jimmy Hoffa. I'm coming back to that. Keep going. But anyways, the first thing that I, one of the first things I thought of, I was like, I bet this soundtrack's going to be a fucking banger because all his movies are and all the Irish movies that he does has, like, departed, oh, my fucking Lord, they set it up so great.

The Irishman's a good example of something we were kind of talking about the other day. We were talking about the broken lizard guys, the guys who made Super Troopers. And we're like, it's wild to me that they kind of just disappeared for as long as they did. And it was, we were just like, well, man, they just, even this movie, this specific movie, which just came out, they couldn't get it made. They had to crowd fund it. It's one of the biggest cult classic comedies of all time. The first one was, and they couldn't get it made.

But like, I didn't think about it when we were having this discussion originally, but the Irishman, Martin fucking Scorsese has been trying to get that movie. Martin Scorsese has been trying to get that movie made with Robert De Niro and Al Pacino and Joe Pesci attached to it for 20,000. fucking years. It hasn't been able to do it until now. Now, if I'm wrong, though, that's crazy. If I'm wrong, I may be, a lot of that probably has to do with timing of all those actors. Am I wrong? Like, maybe there was a time when it was going to happen. What's De Niro and Pacino been doing? Chitty shit. What's Pesci've been doing? Right, you're right. Any one of them would have,

the budget's exorbit. Any one of them would have dropped whatever. The budget's exorbit, but I mean, it's Scorsese. It's a gift. Hello. I got a gift, guys. Okay. Thank you so much. Founders, KBS. Oh, right on. Kelly and Sergio. Okay. Okay, right on.

Righteous. No, no, no. Oh, yeah, thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much. It's a very least a good lie. Thank you. Thank you.

Founders, which is a brewery up here. Are they here? I mean, right, aren't they? I mean, I assume. Yeah. There's quite a few in Grand Rapids. Highly acclaimed KBS, a flavored stout, good for everything, brewed with chocolate and coffee aged in

bourbon barrels. First of all, I want that. Second of all, I just said yes, because there are a lot of breweries here. I don't know for sure that one's here. I just met Michigan. Oh, yeah, that's true. It's been in every show. It's been in every show, and I think I saw a billboard earlier.

No, I'm pretty sure it's a missing thing. But anyway. So shout out to Sergio and Katie? I just said it first. Well, I remember Sergio because, you know, it's not a name I hear every day. And then the other one was, I think it was Katie. But anyway, thanks y'all. That's how hard it is to get shipped.

It's unreal, yeah. The budget's $180 million on that. But it's Scorsese. But I don't understand why Scorsese. I say, right, can't just go to, you know, a banker or, like, just a dude who's been wanting to get movies and has $20 million.

You know, collect nine of those cats. He could if he wanted to. That's what I'm saying. There has to be something going on. Well, the studios certainly know how to promote a movie. He didn't want to do that. I mean, then he's got, like, real skin in the game. Yeah, he's got to do it.

Yeah, that's true. Well, he also has to promote it without the studio machine. And he's their enemy. He could have done that, too. He's their enemy. You know what I mean? It's like when, uh... Well, he's doing it for Netflix.

Like when Waylon left Nashville. You know what I mean? Netflix has become so fucking, you know, a big player. It's actually not... Hollywood's not mad if you make movies with Netflix anymore. I'm not saying they're mad. They can't be. They realize that they didn't...

They can be mad, but they can't be... It's like, I'm going to do it. something about it mad it's like record companies in the internet yeah you can be mad all you well hell it's just studios in the internet right same thing literally the same they hated it first but then we're just like well you know this is what it is we gotta figure out a way to adapt or die the internet what a wild concept yeah big ups to al gore yeah not uh but go back to the kids kids and comedy right yeah i remember why we were talking about that Yeah, because Avichy died.

Avichy, yeah. Rest in pace. Rest in peace to my man, Avichy. And you had said, it's wild because he died at 28, and you know for a fact he's been hitting for like 10 years. Because I know, because I can say, I remember, I can just remember, like, back in my college days or right very shortly there after my college days,

I remember Avichy. I didn't really fuck with him that much, but I knew he was popular. And some of the people that I, like on social media that I'm friends with who fuck with that stuff, every rest in peace was like, I remember my freshman year of college, blah, blah, blah. Right.

Well, so, and then I saw, so I know he's been. Avichy was there. I know he's a sophomore. I know he's been around a long time. And I saw where he died, and he died at the age of 28. He's four years younger to me, was four years younger than me

when he died the other day. Yeah. He's been hitting for 10 years. And we were like, and I was saying, other than a few, like, notable examples of people, like, Bo Burnham, Pete Davidson, Freddie, Freddie, Let's name all of them.

Outliers amongst outliers. Let's name all of them we can to show how few it is. Boehart on Pete Davidson, Freddie Prince, Sr. back in the day. Eddie Murphy. Eddie Murphy, yeah. Gerard Car Michael, when he first started getting heat, was 23. So I'm on the fence about that.

Yeah, and even some of them are like Dave Chappelle started when he was 15, but he didn't really get heat until he was fucking like in his 20. Yeah, but he sold his first pilot at 20. So I think we might have to give him that. Yeah, sure. But again. So, yeah, you know. It's phenoms.

Yeah. Again, outliers. Well, Avichy was a phenom. Right. But there's still more of them. Outliers amongst outliers is what these people are. Yeah, but anyway, but yeah, point is. But you could definitely, and I don't know, I don't know anything about EDM, but you could name more in the EDM circuit. Those are most of them.

Most of them, right. But like, you honestly get to a point where it's like, oh, unless you're real special, you're too old to do it. Right. That's the name. You can't, because you don't get that world. It's a young man's game. Okay, but it ain't, it's not at all just EDN. it's music, period.

Right, you can start young. It's movies. And that's what Drew was saying, when I brought this up, I was like, that's wild. You can't do that in comedy. It's impossible to do that in comedy. But in music, it happens all time. People pop at fucking 18 years old.

And you said, your theory on that. Which I thought was a good one. That was my theory. Well, we was talking alone. What was earlier is that young, you're not going to resonate to the audience that you need to. No, that also makes sense, but that's all I'm talking about. Drew said,

comedy is younger as an art form Oh yeah People don't Right But like people don't When you start doing comedy You Corey And you're an outlier in our world

That's weird For sure That's kind of late for music Exactly When you hear Johnny Cash learn how to play music at 16 You'd be like what? Right

I figure he started when he was eight Musicians start at five six Seven years old or whatever It does happen Older sometimes But very right I will say You know like

Sturgeon was a scotch old So like, no. Yeah, he'd been in the military. He'd been in the military not doing it professionally. He learned how to play guitar from his professional bluegrass grandfather at like nine. Okay. All right. Fair enough.

But I will say, you know, that like my grandpa, R.L was a storyteller. And like, he would tell me to tell stories. My mom would have me make up stories. So, like, there's a little bit in there. Oh, son. I've been doing comedy since I was fucking born. Right. But it's a little different than literally formalized music training at eight.

For sure. Talk about crushing in sixth grade. Yeah, and I was writing sketches and I was writing many books when I was here. Actually, no one really got me when I was younger. It took a while for the world to catch up to me. I've always been, yeah, I've always been writing because, right, that's hilarious. My dad really instilled in me, which his dad used to say to him, anytime dad said something cool or funny or had a good idea, my papaw would always go, write it down,

you won't forget it. When I was a kid, dad always said write it down. I'd say just equip when I was eight. Write that down, that's funny. And so I started logging everything. So, like, yeah, realistic, I did start it. very fucking young age wanting to do this thing. Actually, yeah, that's a pretty good counterpoint to that.

Can you imagine, Corey? Yeah, but it's not formal. It's not formal. I mean, you do, though. But I did it. I was right. Yeah, I mean, Beau Burnham started earlier, and that's why he's a phenom. That's why Corey started comedy at 16.

I'm saying that in the music world, you have to have done that because so many people have been playing music since they were four. Corey was an outlier. You know what I mean? Yeah, but not in... If he'd have been a young phenom. But not in... No, that's probably true.

If you've been less of a fuck-up, I think. No, I'm serious. If you just move. But at the same time, I've never been more than. And changed most things about his personality. What else could Corey have done better? Hold on. Before we do that, how much would you have given to see, how much would you give to see Corey's notebook where he wrote down his quips that were funny?

You know what I mean? Like, you find his notebook and Corey's notebooks like, when frogs jump, do you think they fart when they hit the ground? What it? I do that now. I've found some of them. mine in real life i've found them from like back in the day they're funny or they're they're all sad they don't they don't mean are they trying to be funny yeah i don't think i don't think i wrote down anything trying to be funny no that ain't true no i'm saying like i core yeah he

started 16 and whatever but i'm like what he's saying about really i started when i was five that's true for me too i was always that kid i always i kept notes i wrote shit down and things i thought were funny something i wrote but but i didn't start at 16 this will hit for you and is in that vein Something I wrote when I was 10, it was in my, no, not 10, it was fifth grade, however you're on fifth grade. It was in my fifth grade agenda. I wrote it down. It said, I got a, what's up, man?

Hold on a second. Oh, he'll do it. Is there a God mic? Yeah, we'll do it. I'll do it. Yeah, just let us know when you're ready, buddy. I said, something I wrote was, I got a, shit, how to go. I got a bump on the back of my leg.

This is either a vein, a stretch mark. or I swallowed a worm wrong. That's stupid, but that's where my brain was at at 10. Oh, that's fire. I realized I didn't write anything down except for sad shit, which is hilarious in and of itself. Because when you go back and look at like a, yes, it's Raven. And also, when you look at like a 9-year-old sad stuff,

but in 6th grade, I remember, I did a music video to Amish Paradise with my friend Brandon. But we didn't really know what Amish meant. so we dressed up basically like Arabs. Like we had the like turban, like long ones, like desert Arabs. Does that make sense? Yeah. And we acted it all out and all black.

And the B side to that, because we had the single, was that song about an ugly ice machine for all it. Everything you know is wrong. Do you know that song? No, no. I just. You just think of something I thought of in years. So we went ahead and did a music video to that,

and that whole song is a story about someone getting in a car crash. going back to comedians being dark. The story is about someone getting into a car crash, dying, going to heaven, and heaven sucks. That's literally the premise of that weird owl song. It's not a parody. He just made a song about someone dying in a car wreck, getting to heaven.

His original are flying. Because everything you know is wrong. And we did an act out to that, and we're like in heaven and Brandon's yelling at me as God or whatever, and I'm like crying. So yeah, it was all there. Yeah, cool, man. Thank you.

How raving is that? That I did a music video about heaven not hitting and God yelling at me? Very raven. I'm actually not going to say what I thought I was going to say. We can wrap her up if you don't to. Well, I want to tell, and I know I told you this last night on mic, but we may not use any of that because I got fucking hammered last night. I might use a couple clips, but, yeah, I bet, but I want to tell you this joke, Drew,

because it's like, it's kind of dumb. It's one of them, like, it hits, so. It hits for me. And I like shit like this, so. A woman is at her husband's funeral. And what are you doing? You seeing this? I'm loving it.

There's a refrigerator right there. Oh, he was shoving a beer. That go quicker. That will go quicker. That will go quicker. That's true. That go quicker. That go quicker. All right.

A woman is at her husband's funeral. Don't interrupt me when I'm hitting. And a... Listen to this joke. He said... He said... He interrupted me while hitting the tail-me-that. Yeah.

A woman's at her husband's funeral. Yeah, my genius. That was the joke. That was the whole joke. No. Listen at this man. A woman's at her husband's funeral. One of her husband's friends during the service leans over to her and says,

would you mind if I said a word? And she goes, no, of course not. Go ahead. He stands up, walks to the front of the room. positions himself, clears his throat, and says, plethora. Comes back, sits back down beside her, she leans into him, and she goes, thank you. That means a lot. That's not a lot.

A lighter? Yeah, man, no, I got you. The word plethora has always been funny to me because this old boy, he, you know McCauley. Y'all know McCauley. Oh, hell, B.J. You all know B.J. Coleman. I know neither of these people. Macaulay.

You've talked about McCauley, the school. Oh, I, okay. You said it like you were talking about a dude. I thought it was an old boy, you know, what, had died on a pill band, direct his girlfriend, and Corey used to bang his sister. You know, McCauley. That's what I thought he would do. Macaulay.

Yes, I'm being there. And B.J. Coleman, who went to Tennessee. Yes. He went to McColley. Yes. Well, before he, he went to Ridgelon after that, which is a school that we used to play, but he went to to McCauley first. No, we'll finish this thought, and then we'll fucking, yeah.

You're ready? So, go ahead. No, you're fine. Tell us what's up. Yep. Yep. After that, I take over. Yeah.

When you hear his name? You'll introduce him and they go with the next time. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. Tell him that I'll see him afterwards. That's cool. Yeah.

I mean, I can text him that. But, yeah. Anyways. Just because tell him we're about to start. Like, we're just about to start. You might want to make note of that. That was a long pause. That's okay.

I'm going to listen to this. People like that atmosphere. So. So B.J. Coleman switched to Ridgeland, which is a public school, the opposite of, the opposite of fucking McCauley. And he comes out for his first, I don't say, after a game, and they were interviewing him on Stump on Sports, which is a thing I've put into cartoon or whatever. He's sitting there being interviewed in his Ridgling uniform, and I'm sitting there watching a bunch of my buddies, and they go, so, BJ, how are you liking the transition here to Ridgel from McCauley? He goes, I'll tell you guys, I really enjoy it, you know, running backs, receivers, tight-ins. We just have a plethora of talent, and everybody in the, I think I was on one that knew what plethora meant.

And my friend Jared just spoke up me, he goes, fucking city bitch and turned off to fucking TV. Because he said the word plethora. That was enough to piss everybody off in the room. Fucking city bitch. That's all I got. My mom always admires how much my dad knows about trivia. She's always like, well, you just really know so much strange stuff. Just trivia.

Like, crap. And he goes, yes. He used to always say this. I am a dearth of useless information. That's awesome. And when I realized with the word dirt meant, I thought my dad don't know what dearth meant. And then after about three years, I was like, my dad knows exactly what dirt means. And he is fucking with everyone in this room.

He's saying, I have a lot of useful information. Yes. It's a double negative. But he never told anyone that, like, that was for him. Why would he? They're beneath him. Exactly. That's just like when he told my mom that mosquitoes don't buy people with blue eyes,

and she didn't know he made it up until she heard herself saying it to a stranger one day, saw the look on the stranger's face and processed, oh. He's been fucking with me. He's been fucking with me. Yeah. That shit hits for me. Me too. Yeah.

We've talked about it on here before. Yeah. You're a papal. God rest his fucking soul, the king of that shit. Every head must bow, every tongue must profess. That motherfucker is. Are you men and women? Talk.

Were we about to... We got to start. Let me tell my Macaulay story because I think it's quick. And I just, I think, Trey, you'll identify this. How did you discover what Macaulay was, Trey? I don't remember, to be honest with you. I want to say, I mean, probably just football. Like, you know, like hearing either the coaches talk about it or other people.

But all you know is it's a private school. Did you ever fuck with... Hold on. Is that like all you know? Yeah, pretty much, yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's one of the richest private schools in America, or it was, which by I didn't know that.

Because Ted Turner went there. Who? Ted Turner. Oh, shit. No, I didn't know nothing. Yeah, and there's like a bust of him, and he donated a chill of money. And the reason, that's hilarious. The reason that I know that is I played in an AAU basketball tournament there when I was 11 or 12.

And I was saying you would appreciate this just because, like, coming from where we come from, both in terms of the rural areas that Salina and Sunbride are and also just class-wise, they had a gym. This is where the tournament was. It had eight basketball courts in it. As an 11-year-old who's just like in love with basketball at that time. But that's wild to me right now. It felt better than Disney.

Do you know what I mean? Like the way kids like Legoland or Disney, like that's how, and I wanted to go there so bad, like so fucking bad after that. Too bad, baby. My mom and dad, my mom being a teacher, she knew somebody. I had really good grades. I was good at sports. I'm not saying this is why, but the guy that went and talked to people,

this is literally what he was told. I'm not quite good enough at sports, and I make too much money to be one of their, like, you know, come here, come here, poor kid. Yeah, like, feel good stories. You could have been that, though. I could have been that. You blew it. You're hit harder.

No, you couldn't get in because Ted Turner, you don't hit for him. What? You couldn't get in because you don't hit for Ted Turner. No, I don't hit for him. He was at Al Gore's birthday party. And he didn't like you? I don't think so. I didn't.

God, I hope he didn't. I'm pretty sure he didn't. Because to me, he... He didn't seem to, and then, like, he left to, like, walked right, walked right by me and Al Gore. I'm sitting there talking to Al Gore as Ted Turner leaves the party, says, you know, farewells to Al Gore. You were beneath him?

It didn't even acknowledge me, dog. That kind of hits for me, because, to me, he... Like, Al Gore... Like, you know how I feel about, like, rich neoliberal... who like, yeah, I got money, but I care about the poor man. And I'm like, yeah, I don't know if you do, Al Gore, but maybe you do. Al Gore, though, like hits. Do you know what I mean?

Like, he's fucking tried to do shit for the environment. Ted Turner, to me, like, represents everything I hate about, like, American. This is all Ted Turner's fault, and we know that. 24-hour news cycle, baby. That's true. That's 100% true, actually. I didn't know what's going up going in on Ted Turner. It's for me.

To me, he represents everything wrong with the popular American left. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Just like it's all, you feel good because you say you believe in certain things, but like what have you really done? And look, the dude's donated money, but case in point, to a private school. Again, I'm sure someone's going to hit me up on Twitter. Did you know he donated $5 million to inner city?

And I'm certain that he has. I'm also certain that he has, you know, fucking slaves from another planet in his basement or something. I don't know what the Illuminati does. Slaves for another planet. End this, please. We got start the show. We do got to start the show. We do got to start the show.

Ski-bye. Fuck Ted Turner. Is it over? Thank you all for listening to the well-read show. We'd love to stick around longer, but we got to go. Tune in next week if you got nothing to do. Thank you, God bless you, good night and Skew.