wellRED podcast - #66 - The South is BEAUTIFUL! (But How It Got That Way Is Not!)

Episode Date: May 9, 2018

From a hotel in fantastic Charleston, SC, we discuss (sighhhhhh) Plantations, Slavery, and all sorts of stuff from the South's troubled past. Also The CHO gets SUPERRRRR high and attempts to tell a very disgusting story about defiling himself sexually.wellREDcomedy.com for tickets to our shows!smokeyboysgrilling.com for some bad ass meat rub!

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion. Because used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

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What was that a reply gift for? Just when I did something stupid. Something fat, I think, and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first. But then I quit using it and was still paying for it and forgotten. If it wasn't for Rocket Money, I never would have even figured it out. So shout out to them.

They help. If you're money dumb like me, Rocket Money can help. So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney. dot com slash well read today that's rocket money.com slash well r e d rocketmoney.com slash well read and we thank them for sponsoring this episode of the podcast they're the p.mast hey mark remember getting help from progressive is so easy you can use the mobile app chat with us online

or call us and you pick now to tell me i couldn't miss little grace's ballet recital oh thanks for inviting me by the way Did I? Because you know I'm always here for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can use the mobile app if I need help. Sorry, you're in my wife's seat, though. Oh, yeah, I got to go anyway. Tell Grace, she nailed her chaise.

Get the help you need from Progressive with her mobile app, online chatter over the phone. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company affiliates and other insurers. What's going on, everybody? It's your boy, the thuggish, ruggish chow. Corey Ryan Forster here. Wellredcom. W-E-L-R-E-D.

Comedy.com. That's where you can find tickets. Our book, Little Redneck Manifesto, sign up for our newsletter so you can get tickets to our shows before everybody else does. Cool new merch, all that sort of good shit. Here's where we're going to be in the next couple weeks. This weekend, oh my God, all the shows are sold out.

Napa, California. Holy shit, we sold out four shows in Wine Country. I'm about to get smashed. Spokane, Washington, Cincinnati, Ohio, Columbus, Ohio, Dayton, Ohio, Huntsville, Alabama, Oxford, Mississippi, Chicago, Illinois, Tulsa, Oklahoma, Oklahoma, and then off to Hawaii.

A whole bunch of dates after that, and we're going to be announcing a whole lot more soon, so just go to well-readcomedy.com, sign up for the newsletter. You will know before anybody. And if you haven't, if you don't follow us on Twitter, you know, go do that. At Corey R. Forrester, at Trey Crowder, at Average Drew.

So, this portion of the podcast, as always, brought to you by Smokey, Boysgrilling.com. Go to Smokey Boysgrilling.com, grab some hog rub and some beef rub and send the guys some love. They're doing great festivals, winning them. They're getting a lot of critical acclaim. It's super fucking cool. And I'm enjoying it. One thing I've been doing, as I said last week on the podcast, I've been doing like a little bone broth type cleanse situation. And I've been flavoring my bone broth, my chicken broth with some, the hog run. and God damn, it's fantastic. So grab it, you can do that. I also have been sprinkling it on top of my kishas. I've been putting it on top of my fucking hash browns, anything, man, it's awesome. It's great stuff.

So go to Smokey Boysgrilling.com, hogrug, beefrub, tell them we said, what's up. This podcast was recorded in the hotel in Charleston, South Carolina, where admittedly, I was high as a motherfucker. God, they were going upside my head with some, well, I say theories. I really don't remember. I haven't listened to it since, but I remember at the time just being like, God damn, what are they talking about? I was very stone, which I think might be entertaining all in itself.

So, enjoy the podcast, and we'll talk to you next time. Schu! Charleston, South Carolina, one of my favorite southern cities. Kind of sucks that we're only all three of us, what are we spending? 16 hours here each. We all got in about the same time.

Yeah, Corey, I wish me and you to drove down last night. I know, dude. I mean, I had considered it last week. We'd talked about doing something like that. What the fuck came up? Why didn't we do that? We don't hit. Yeah, I believe that was it.

We don't hit. Really, there was no reason we couldn't have. Me and Katie honeymooned in Charleston, and it was cool. But two things. She was pregnant because I'm white trash. And also, we got married in June. So it was triple digits temperature-wise. Every day of our honeymoon, it was 100,2003 degrees.

he's every goddamn day in Charleston in late June. It's still hit for me. Sure. You know. That don't help. But, yeah, I love this town. It's weird. It's one of those, like, I mean, Charleston, Charleston's old South.

Oh, hell yeah, dude. There's that, like, there's definitely that subtext, that undercurrent of, like, we know what you did. Some pretty fucked up shit here, obviously. Yeah, I said to somebody in the meet and greet tonight. everything's pretty here but it all feels like blood well that's the thing there are some beautiful plantations here but like you know they're pretty now

one of the things me and katy did on our honeymoon was take a plantation tour because again white trash and uh it was so wild dude bro did that hit the wildest part it hit in like a this is wild and kind of fucked up way the wildest part about it to me was that um the tour guy like with total pride, you know, like very proudly told us, like, this is such a cool fact. You're going to love this. The groundskeeper of the Magnolia Plantation is a guy named, you know, whatever. And you never believe this, guys.

He is a direct descendant of the family that was the grounds. What the fuck are you doing? I couldn't see Trey when he was telling. Oh, okay. that makes total sense. I had no idea, son. I thought you were just baked and you were like,

this fucking lamp don't need to be here. Drew was moving stuff around. No one ever had to know that, but Corey could not let him go. Corey was just like, I'm high. Squirrel. I'm high.

I just want to know what he's doing. Y'all got, huh? He did, yeah. But I mean, here it is. I wasn't drinking, so I figured I'd get on some type of level. Anyway,

they said the groundskeeper, the present-day groundskeeper of this plantation is direct descendant of, the family was the groundskeepers when it was an active plantation, and they still live. They live on the premises in, you know, an updated and renovated version of what was their slave quarters. They don't have for me at all.

Well, of course, I'm, dude, he's getting to that. Yeah, yeah. It didn't hit for me neither. I'm not saying that it hit. I'm saying it's like, that's the type of shit you run into in Charleston. Right. I know you weren't saying a hit. You were saying he opened with.

This is a cool fact. Right. Yeah. Yes. Yes. They talked about it very much. He's a franchise player. Right.

Yeah. Call back to the episode about the NCAA and we touched on the NBA and how some players feel like slaves. But dude, that's so wild. That's crazy. Like, how many times are they given that tour and not ever heard? Oh, you know. The son, son, son, son, son. All the way down since, you know, before the fucking civil war, like,

they're still on that plantation doing that same job. I say them, not that whole family, but you know what I mean. Descendants. That's fucking, dude, that's crazy. In my mind, that's not even true. You know what? It's like, man, it probably ain't. I'm giving this tour.

This is a thing that people will like. It's like, no, no one likes that. Right. Because that's the thing too. Which, by the way, that's way worse. That's what I'm saying. Of course it's way worse. Well, dude, people are torn there, right?

It's like you were on your honeymoon. It's like it's a plantation, it's history. You should go see it or whatever. It's so funny to me to think about that guy trying to like think of a way to get tips and make his tour more interesting. And he's like, here's the thing people will like. And almost no one likes that.

Right. Like everyone on that tour was like, oh God. I was able to hold my disbelief and like not feel guilty about even being here until right now. And now I want to die. Well, and here's the thing. No doubt. This is one of these times where I'll fuck around and come off as apologists if I don't watch it, but this is just the truth.

Part of the tour also was you go into this room in the plantation house where they show you all the, like, the lineage of the family that owns the plantation, right, from like when they left, like the family crest from when they left England. On down to today, it's same family, same people that own it. And it's pictures of all of them back from when it was like painted portraits of the Duke of whatever the fuck that was given this. plantation in the new world. Duke don't hit. Go Tarrell. On down to. Duke's mayonnaise hits.

That's true. On down to the people that are in the family now. Duke University's the least hitting Duke. That own this, that own this plantation. And like you see their pictures too. And like, dude, just, it ain't a goddamn thing about them looks red ass or southern. You know what I mean? Like, they're just like they're just fucking.

They look like they're from. Connecticut. Yeah, they're rich white people. Exactly. Right. And it's just, yeah, it's wild. Wait, that didn't come off as a pilot just at all. Well, I was afraid that it might because I was going to get it, because ultimately what I'm saying is. If you look red ass, it hits for you.

Well, just that what people think of when they think of like the shitty parts of the South, you know what I mean? Oh, yeah, yeah. Is not what is represented at like a Charleston plantation. It's what we, the three of us, know to be the shittiest parts of the second. Sure, right. But it's not what other people think. It's not the banjos and shit.

The first time we played Charleston on the way in, like we came across that bridge. And I saw all them boats, and I opened with something along the lines that I tried to turn this into a bit. And I got some play out of it, but it was kind of too dark. But I opened with like, you know, the city's beautiful. You guys really figured it out. y'all invested in slavery before the market crashed and like people laughed like i was i was happy they laughed at yeah sure but the truth is man this whole city everything pretty about it yeah it was fucking built on pay for it with yeah with blood jesus but like but fucking great oysters

though and this is pretty much just straight up apologist but it's like that louie bit about like everything great comes from some kind of suffering like he was talking about like apple and shit oh yeah yeah yeah he's like that's just that's just the way it works right yeah it's like

none of that makes it okay but I'm just saying like his bit was a way it goes you're saying if it's nice it came from some bullshit at some point or another yeah other than just straight up nature right you know

well I'm glad we got into how capitalism is a garbage system trait I'm kidding, but not really. Having said all that again, this city hits for me. The food here's great. You know, it's a good drunk town. It's so fucking pretty. Yeah, it's gorgeous.

There's just, you know, there's that undercurrent of old south. Well, my mom just said one of the most Laura Forster's things about Charleston earlier, which was, I called her, and she's like, how's the weather there? I was like, it's very good. And she goes, I'm about to redecorate my foyer. So I think I'm thinking about making a trip. to Charleston to, you know, right.

When you said, my mom said my first thought was, yeah, she's pretty old south. Yeah, dude, for sure. Dude,

fucking Vivian Lee. Right. Right. Well, because it's romantic here. For sure. It's that whole romantic, like gone with the wind version.

If you just ignore that part. Right. Yeah. You just, you know, if you just sort of don't. Yeah. Remember who the crimes against humanity.

The people in Gone with the Wind were five more. There was a couple of bunch. That shit's a propaganda film. I think we talked about this the last time in Charleston probably Well I was going to You were like You know anything nice

Especially from a certain time period And you're right Also if white people are involved 100% But this city It's ubiquitous Right I feel like every

I don't know why Maybe it's just the gum With the wind feeling And me knowing what that really is Right New Orleans is the same way But I'm not thinking about it all the goddamn time.

Because it's pastel colors here. I think is what it is. It's pastel in New Orleans, though. Yeah. It just looks like a striped shirt. I think it's the type of white people here for me. I think that I hate rich people so much. And everyone here, even if they're not rich, dresses in those, is it called top siders or dock siders, those like boat shoes, cackies, a pastel dress shirt, etc.

Like, I think I see that. And even if that person is working class, but. That's just how people dress in Charleston and they got that shit at Target. I feel like four-year-s dressed like that at times. Oh, for sure. And he hates me. Yeah, and he grew up in a slave house. And his mom was about to decorate the foyer.

Yeah, but he hits, though. He does. But, like, I mean, that, yeah. And again, I'm going down that road right now, and I'm not. So does Colonel Sanders. But, like, what all you just said about, like, this place in particular is just so much shit. Like, dude, is that not also true? of basically every single European city, beautiful, historical, all this amazing shit, but like,

I mean, yeah. It's been some real fucked up shit go down there. I mean, that's how Rome's empire got built. A, it's different. It's all kinds of different fucked up shit. It's not one goddamn thing. Just because of the age of it. Sure.

And then B. They cycle through multiple different fucked up sheds over the years. But then, but distance. in terms of time is important. And I didn't grow up in it. Like when I'm in Europe, I'm not looking around and going, oh, see all these people are dressed? That reminds me of

the Crusades. No, that's not where I'm from. I'm from the South. I just feel like they don't have this weird thing with like their castles and shit over there. Well, I shouldn't call it weird. But they don't have this thing with their castles and shit over there where it's like, oh yeah, you know, the Archduke of whatever during this time, raped and murdered children

as a hobby all the time. Well, first of all, we should burn that down. In some places, they absolutely do, the NRA. But should we, like, and then... Should we tear all the shit down and put other stuff at a little like... No, I'm just talking about how Charleston, I'm constantly think about it. I didn't say we should tear anything down. I know, but...

I mean, you know, other than the statues. You're talking about how specifically how it don't hit for you. Son, you talk about it. No, I'm not. I'm talking about how in this city, and you were agreeing with me at first. The pride. that they have. That has none

to do with them. This city, you come here and you can't help but feel like oh, slavery, the old south. And I think it's the gone with the wind thing. Yeah, for sure.

I think it's that it's the pride. Cultural association that we have of that type of southern implant. This whole city looks like a plantation.

Right. It's honestly the architecture as much as anything else. It's beautiful. Yeah, and it is, yeah, it is. It is beautiful.

Like Atlanta don't look like a plantation. Nashville don't look like a plantation. That too a plantation. They had them. That tour guide being like, you know, you guys never believe this. How great is this?

You know what I mean? Like that, the attitude that leads to that is where the problem is, I think. Yeah, it's crazy. It's the pride in that. It's the glorification of that. They glorified instead of. I do not disagree at all,

but I also think this place looks a certain way. Yeah, no, I agree with it. That's what I meant by pastel. I didn't just mean the colors. It makes me feel the same way. I meant the plaid shirt. It's like the fucking... No, I think that's part of it, Cove.

Yeah, no, no, no, I know. That's what I'm saying. And some of that's me, and me associating those types of people with it. But some of it is the architecture, too. These white buildings look like plantations. Movies show plantations in a certain way. Plantations probably look different in Louisiana than they do from here. But in my mind, it's white buildings.

It's the trees here. You know what I mean? Because just so you know, the weather getting good back at home, your boy going to be in some searsucker. You know, just my green one. When I, you know, when I go out to dinner, not on the fucking tour. I don't feel like that's plantation shit, is it? That's the same.

I'm literally just that shirt. Like, it's a, it's a pastely, I have a pastelly green seersucker polo shirt. I've had it for like four fucking years. It's so goddamn comfortable. But isn't part of our whole thing, like, trying to kind of like reclaim some of that shit? Because it's the same thing with the accent, right?

Not that shit. Why? Don't hit for me. Well, right, but it's, that doesn't mean it's objectively bad. Part of our whole thing is like, oh, our accents and all this doesn't necessarily mean that it's this. Well, I could tell you another. reason, though.

It's the same thing. Because we had people dressed like that at our show tonight that ain't that. But hold on, I can tell you another reason. At least for me, it's like, you see someone in overalls

with fucked up teeth. I mean, I even have a joke about this and it's related to all this shit we're talking about. And you think racist, part of my thing is, I'm reclaiming that and I'm saying, nah.

Because, A, not all these people are racist. And B, that never was the people owning the plantation. It was the rich people. And I ain't trying to reclaim shit for them. Yeah, but the buildings and the architecture and all that shit, it has to be treated a little differently, I think.

I mean, don't tear it down. You're acting like I'm mad at the buildings. I'm saying I come to Charleston and I think about slavery. I'd love to say that. I'm not saying tear down the building. Drew just outside drunkard shit, just yelling at a building. He wouldn't do it. I know he wouldn't.

I'm seeing it right now. It hit for me. No, you're not. No part of me is like get rid of Charleston or change the way it looks. I'm telling you that in your year. in general, I can see you... You're thinking of them things. That's true.

Well, I'm blazed as fuck. No part of this is like change it or what, like... You shouldn't paint buildings that are white stucco a different color because that looks like a plantation to me. That'd be ridiculous. Okay, well, so speaking of my own cocksure ignorance, I have a story I want to tell you guys that I think will hit for you. Because it's just me being...

It's the type of shit that I'd just be doing. Running into children and with a balloon and knocking it out. other hands. I would argue that in this story I'm about to tell, at no point in this, am I at, like, my position is completely understandable. Sure. But it's still just so raving and funny how it all plays out. So a couple weeks ago, in L.A. on like a Tuesday, I was out and about going to meetings

and doing various shit, whatever, so I'm in a couple different Uber's. I'm in different parts of town. I keep seeing cars and people. with the same flag flying. Okay? It's stripes, red, yellow, and blue. I'm not saying in that order or whatever, but red, yellow and blue stripes all over L.A., same flag.

At the same time, on one of those Uber trips, I went by a sports, but we would go by a sports bar, and I saw a sign that said, European League Championship airing now, Roma versus Liverpool Didn't think twice about it's like okay This is a big big soccer game going on today You know but it's America so who gives a fuck

So I go I see all that I'm at this one I'm at one of those meetings or whatever Now I'm in an Uber back to my house And the Uber driver is a native Angelino Hispanic guy We pass by a car that's got this flag all over it.

And he asked me, he goes, man, you know what's up with that flag? And I was like, no, I got no idea. But it's all over the place, right? And he was like, yeah, dude, I've seen it everywhere today. It's weird. He's like, I'm from here. I don't know.

And I was like, yeah, it is wild. You know, let me, let me Google it. I'll see what I can figure out. So I googled flag, red, yellow, blue stripes. Should be enough. And the top result was, Romania. The flag of Romania is red, yellow, and blue.

Right. And I saw that, Romania, people, gypsies, Romania is whatever. They're often called the Roma people. Gypsy is called Roma. That's true. Look it up, Drew. You're making that skeptical face. They're on tomatoes that they have, too.

Gypsies, Roma. Roma, tomatoes ain't gypsy tomatoes. That might be true, but that's not what Roma tomatoes is. It's also, I'm aware. I was just working ahead. We'll get to that. I have no idea what Roma tomatoes are. is

Romanians, ethnically ethnic Romanians Roma is another word. Oh I mean I buy it. The Roma. So I saw that. I saw all that.

I looked that up. And I told the driver, I was like, oh, it's a soccer game. And he goes, what? And I was like, yeah, apparently there's this big European soccer game today, some like European championship game

or semifinal or something. And Roma's in it. Well, that's, that's Romania's soccer team, and that flag is the flag of Romania. And so, you know, that's what it is. They're reping their soccer team. I was like, that's weird, though. I didn't see a single Liverpool flag. And the dude, in retrospect, the Uber driver was very clearly like,

I don't think people really care about soccer that much. Right. And I would just sit back around my phone. I was like, no, dude, that's what it is. I mean, I looked it up. It's fine. See? Look, same flag.

It's fine. You know, I was just, right. No, that's it. It's got to be it. I mean, what else could it be? Right. God damn. And the dude is just up there like, I don't know, man.

He's like clearly skeptical. And I was just like, no, and I was totally satisfied. I was like, yeah, that's it. People are into soccer now. It's 2018, you know? Whatever. Like, that's what it is. That is Raven.

Got home, told Katie about it. I was like, you see all these flags? She was like, yeah, what's up with that? I was like, that's the Romanian flag. Their soccer team is playing Liverpool today. ain't that wild how into soccer these people are out here it's crazy right you wouldn't see that shit in tennessee don't nobody give a fuck about soccer it's wild and she just like looked at me funny whatever later at night we're going to bed she came in there and showed me oh god a google result oh boy

roman with what was 100% the exact flag that everybody was flying it's the flag of armenia and April 24th, which was the day that this was all happening, is the day that Armenians commemorate the Armenian genocide. Yeah. I've seen that parade in New York. At the hands of Turkey. Oh, God. So, the whole time, I was just, I was like, yeah, soccer game.

Dude, no bullshit, I was this. because when I put up to my house in the Uber there was a car parked out in front of my house and there was a street parking there with the flags on it there was nobody there but I swear to God like I was this close to

because by the way Liverpool won that game five to two Liverpool destroyed Roma I know what you're about to say I'd have done it I was this close to seeing somebody with that flag and be like god damn man

y'all got killed that sucks I would have done it I know you would have. And I'm saying like, Y'all got your shit wreck, dude. I'm so, by the way. I think my position is so defensible,

but that is some redneck curb your enthusiasm. That's a funny saying, yeah, exactly. That's fucking Larry David Duke. Yeah. That's what the Lyssey David Duke. That's actually the least hitting Duke. And then Duke University. David Duke, yeah, for sure.

I thought, because Roma is Rome. Rome, yes. I know that now. And so that's where I was like, all right, well, you made a dumb mistake. Hold on. I was like, you made a dumb mistake, but it's not that big a deal. The mistake you actually made, especially had you made it out loud to somebody, such a big deal.

Huge deal. Like no coming back from it type of deal. When I live in you... Okay, but dude, grant me this. I mean, seriously, think about all the different factors there and how wild that is. Look up the Armenian flag and the Romanian flag. They are... remarkably similar.

All right. Walk me through it again. You looked up that flag and you found out it was the Romanian people's flag. Before I looked it up, I had seen the same flag over and over again. I had also seen signs advertising a soccer game between Roma and Liverpool. So when you looked it up, you found out that a Romanian flag looks similar to the flag that you had seen. And again, ethnic Romanians. Roma, the soccer team, that is Rome.

But ethnic Romanians, they're the Roma people. Is that something that you know the way that you knew this was this flag? Or have you looked this up to verify yourself? Oh, God. It's about to get even worse. You're saying this very confidently. And I'm just wondering if you have looked it up, or if this is an inception redneck arrogance.

The Romanian people also referred to, depending on the subgroup, as Roma, Sinti or Cindy, Or an Indo... Cindy. They's gypsies name, Cindy. God damn. My aunt is the whole people.

Trey, no one gives the fuck about your dumb story right now. We have found out that Cindy is the people. That does it. I'm just saying... Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I get it. You can see where all that... For sure, that's what makes it such a great curb your enthusiasm episode. It was all just...

It's perfect. It's like somewhat defensible, like most of his episodes. It's very divisible, I think. Yeah, of course it is. Especially with your... I'm skeptical of my... Dude, especially with your accent and everything. It couldn't happen to a worse person.

What happened is super defensible. If you had said that to somebody, you could defend it totally. But it wouldn't matter. But my God, you defended it would make it so much worse. I know. No, no, no, look, fucking the Romans are playing. You know, Gypsy Scott, damn it.

He took some time on that story, didn't it? God, damn. But yeah, that's defensible. That was, that's fucking... Is that not just some tough straight up, just rave? Is that the most raven shit you've ever heard about me? Yeah, it almost, that kind of, I'm scared because that seems like a serious finale. You know what I'm saying?

I don't know. I'm kind of afraid. That hit. I don't hurt me. I don't hit. You don't hit for scaring me. I've got another thing I'm talking about, but y'all got things you want to talk about. Well, I want to follow up to this briefly just to say it.

And y'all, anybody listen. I'm ignorant as fuck about all this. I will say, as a general rule, if a large group of people claim they were genocided, I tend to believe them. But in New York, I would like my lunch break on that day. There was a parade down the street near where I worked. I think it was on Park Avenue. It might have been on 5th.

And the Armenian people would be out there marching, saying, because they're trying to get, I think, the UN to acknowledge. Turkey, Turkey still to this day denies it. And they deny my man. I'm just saying, take that shit to the grave, dog. I'm kidding. This is a big budget movie that came out this year with like Oscar Isaac and Christian

Belt. It's a big thing. Like Turkey doesn't acknowledge the genocide. Turkish and like people protesting the protesters. Right. So there'd be a parade. Good Lord. For that.

And then there'd be Turkish people lined up on one side and Armenians on the other. And I'd just be like, me and Dean, Salo, would just be walking to get noodles and just like, I mean, it was intense. Turkey's going to kill them all again. What's going on? And Dean knew more about it than me because he'd be knowing stuff. And he was explained to me that. I was like, so these people claim their people were genocided.

And these people are saying that didn't happen. And they're just in the street together right now. It made me nervous as fuck, man. Yeah, man. Really big game of, n'n't. This is what I'm saying. That's what makes all that even worse for me is like, I knew all that. Yeah.

And the only reason I knew all that was because of that movie, because I'm an ignorant American. Well, because that movie came out this last year, I knew that, I knew all that. I knew all that backstory. I didn't know none of that shit. I didn't know the date and I didn't know, like, you know, it wasn't. I guess, to be fair to myself, I knew about the Armenian genocide from learning about in college. I didn't know anybody. That was disputed.

Like, I had to debate it like that. I guess we didn't get into it deeply. That's kind of a thing with genocides. It is. Give me one example. a bunch of people you want to be like, keep that shit on below. It's directly related to Charleston

because we're all just like, I mean, they were fine. Give me one example of people claiming that there was a genocide and it didn't happen. Oh, dude, it happened. But that's what I'm saying.

Like, is there ever been an example of someone going, yeah, you know what? It was only five people. I don't think that's ever happened. The war on Christmas. That's the only one. What do they think them six million motherfuckers did? You know what I'm saying?

Like, that's probably be my biggest clue. There used to be more. Right. ain't now yeah come on all right well there used to be more

yeah what it gives so that's why I have a general rule if more than four people claim their people got genocided I'm like

yeah they've got to believe all women okay okay believe all dead people but here's a thing like I mean

even if I kind of didn't I still wouldn't show up just to call them a dickhead that's kind of weird it was Turkish people Right, right, yeah. Well, but, dude, if someone was saying to you, you genocide and you would go, what? I feel like, you know what?

You got Martin Luther King Day off as a snow day. I know, baby. Yeah, I know. People be doing that shit. I know. Damn, that's true. It's the same thing. But I feel like Dean made that point when we were there.

I feel like I remember him being like, man, even if they was making it up. And he's like, I know they're not. Like, who would show up just to be like, no, we didn't? It don't make any less shitty. It's still super shitty. but I do understand the human impulse of it because, like, people don't want to believe that their ancestors, even if it's their grandparents, like people they knew.

Right, this ain't like a dude on a piece of paper. This is someone who took me in at night. They don't want to believe that their grandfather mercilessly just, like, ethnically cleansed. Well, I will say about that being like. Yeah, don't hit. And I get that. Don't hit.

genocide don't hit hot take that's the name of this podcast genocide don't hit don't it don't I will say that in the south well not with slavery but with like Jim Crow and all that shit and the civil rights situation and maybe I'm wrong but I've talked to a few people about this I used to do a bit about it like I don't think I think a lot of people who were marching against desegregating schools I don't think they talked a lot about that

I don't think they were like, yeah, that was me with the dog in that picture. Right. No, I mean, dude, I agree. I just think that I think that that's what is at the core of that. I agree. Well, I mean, that isn't just straight up fucking racism. We're totally agreeing with each other and acting like we're not. We're doing that thing.

That's a thing. Well, all right. This has been lighthearted. For sure, yeah. Genocide. I did want. We were going to talk about the meat and greet, weren't we? We had, there was an inventor.

There was that dude who called me out much. to y'all's joy. So this is how the big group went down from my perspective. Okay. That would be a good way because you didn't get roasted at all. And oftentimes I do be getting roasted.

And well, and by the way, the guy who roasted, well, I'll save it, go ahead. So what happened first was, and these two things happened within five minutes of each other. You know what? Should we open with this?

No offense to whoever gave it to us, but it can't follow the other stories. But this is funny to me. Yeah, go ahead. This is kind of separate from the... Good call. Totally. It was a good meet and greet tonight.

It was. A woman who used to be a prosecutor, but we got along anyway. I think she still is, Drew. I don't know how to tell you that. Yeah, yeah, I think she, yeah, but used to be, because I convinced her to quit tonight. Prosecutors are not here for drug. Not at all.

Very much, dude. And I want everyone to know. I told her that. But, because she's a white woman, she didn't care. She has started a company called Hold My Beer LLC, and she has filed a patent. I mean, this is a fucking patent. It's got figures and drawings.

That sounded like how I would describe a patent. But it's a fucking patent. It's got figures and drawings. Look, it says figure two. That shit looks like evidence. I don't want to make fun of Nicole. But all it is is a beer holder that you can attach to your toilet paper rolls. But it does hit Supreme.

When I say make fun, I mean, her patent is very thin. You know what I mean? Anybody could be like, all right, I'm going to do a slightly different. version of this. The craziest part about all that to me was that she said that they got the patent and they also trademarked Hold My Bear because that also blew my mind. Is that not insane? That that wasn't taken. Do you believe to fucking hold my bear has not been trademarked yet?

Trademarks are usually by state. Let me look and see where she trademarked it. It might just be that it hadn't been in this state, but I could be wrong about that. My man is building the case. Yeah, I'm loving it. Oh shit. She's got for some reason, I don't know why. She has Facebook messages.

I guess it's from people who are fans. Anyway, Nicole has, she has laminated fan messages, so she's Corey. You remind me of another hit from tonight. Nicole Howland and Tom Moses, you guys hit for us Supreme with your fucking beer holders that you have mounted on paper towel dispensers, according to your figures, and toilet paper rolls so that, what did she say? Hold my beer and watch this. hold my beer and watch this shit she's savvy man drinking a beer while you're taking a shit there was a rap lyric I always dream of

I keep pin and paper in the bathroom I always dream of making a hit while I'm taking a shit I don't remember who that was it was somebody like you know Nelly or somebody who wasn't the greatest rapper of all time but was very entertained I have literally already forgotten the additional point I had a hit for me it had something to do with Corey

Oh was the shoes no it was Another fan of ours that I had asked us to make a video video for her sister? I got raped during this goddamn mating grade. I was getting like jersey raked. Because her sister couldn't be here tonight and that happens to us fairly...

Oh, you said raked. Raked. Yeah, yeah. I thought he said the exact same thing during the meat and green earlier by getting raked and I thought the exact same thing. You know what? I'll choose a different thing.

I can see how that would go. Grilled? Yeah. I've also heard you reference Nickeret gum a few times. On stage? Yeah. You told me the first time you're like,

And I was like, it's because it was during the Q&A. Yeah. He was just about Nicorette and I was like, Corey? No, I was like, everybody just so you know, he just said Nicorette. Yeah. Yeah, I don't have you up there during the act. But anyway, that's not uncommon for us.

Somebody say, hey, my family member couldn't be here. Will you guys make a video for them? And, you know, we're gracious heroes. So we do. And we were making the video. And this is going to. to be to his point because I can't remember what our jokes were, but me and you

had a couple jokes. We had a couple lines. By the way, I didn't mean that too shit on y'all. I know that, but it was just, it was funny. Me and you had a couple lines and we're like to get in the camera. Heather couldn't be there because of what? I can't. It was her name. I can't remember.

It was that girl's sister. Her name was Heather. Heather can't be here. We ain't going to figure it out. I don't know. Me and you had a couple jokes. and then we said those and then Corey goes sorry we don't hit this video

we ain't funny right now and I immediately looked at you we were just like we were about to say it and then he goes he was like I didn't have nothing to hit in that video but what he said was

we didn't hit in that video we ain't funny we didn't hit we sorry we're not funny right now we don't hit this video and me and you have been funny you're just like I mean we was hitting but because he had no in there.

We had it. He was like... I also genuinely don't remember y'all's jokes I wasn't really paying attention. So I'm sure they were funny. No, clearly they weren't that funny

because we don't remember them either. No, they were pretty funny. We just have made so many tonight. I mean, for what that was. But that's equally as Raven, what he just said was, I mean, I wasn't really paying attention

to what you guys said. So not knowing what y'all said, I decided we didn't tell any jokes. It was just a phrase. He just heard me and you Charlie Brown style just bra bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, and he dies in like, Sorry we're not funny, guys.

Sorry, we're not hitting right now. He just heard our voices. Like, well, this don't hit. I need to apologize for how much they don't hit right now. Well, another thing, this is Extra Raven. Whatever I said, if not a joke, was kind of mean, of course. I don't remember what it was. But, like, if I say what I said and then you go, sorry, we're not funny, it's like,

damn, he wasn't kidding. Of course. I think I said something, yeah. I mean, you know, I just said something like, fucking, what, you can't dry? I don't remember what I said. I don't know. Full disclosure for the next 20 minutes this podcast. I'm supremely stoned right now.

Keep going. No, no, keep going on what you're doing. I'm saying, I can't remember. Well, the other part of it that hit, as far as you're concerned, is that... I forgot that shit is strong. With a different group, it's very strong. I forgot about that, and I was sitting up here because I ain't drank on it. I was like, I was talking a couple of these.

I am fucking fried. It's a callie weed. The other part that, as far as, you're concerned the hit for me was at another point around the same time

a lady came up asked us to sign her ticket which is also not unusual but she was making jokes about how her

like names were misspelled on or whatever like Drew was listed as Morga or it was like Drew Morga like the ticket

was fucked up a little bit I just think you got cut off like they happened like it was like Trey

crowd and Drew Morgai or whatever and then She was like, and this is, and she pours it corn, she's like, oh, actually, you're not on here. And she shows the ticket, and your name just wasn't even at all a little bit of this. Sober as a fucking judge, too. Lord.

I lost it. I know you dead. Because loyal listeners of the podcast know that, like, my Boston episode. That's a whole thing with you as far as like. It was the dude, by the way. It was the dude. You're right. Because he had on a shirt and said, I had dine.

It was the dude. You're right. I die. I die. Yeah. It's a running thing with Corey about what normally happens is, someone working the show, usually the person that missed the butt, that brings the show, that starts the show

and introduces Corey, brings him on stage, it's usually that person, but not always, sometimes it's the person who makes the banner or the, or the billboard or whatever. But either way, the running thing is them getting Corey's name wrong. It happens so much. He's Cory Ryan Foster. He's Carrey, Ryan Forster. Ron, I've been called Ron.

You got to call Ron. You can't be too mad about it. You can't be too mad about it. No, that one hit for me. When they pointed out that he literally wasn't even listed at all on the tickets tonight, I mean, I apologize, but law. No, I mean. Well, it was great, too, because I said, you don't even know what you've done to him. And that guy goes, I know exactly what I've done.

Yeah. Yeah, it did not hit for me. So since we're doing this from my perspective, usually when it happened, me and Drew laughed it up over that, which hit. And then very shortly right after that. Two groups later. Yeah. It was a group. Less than five minutes later.

And then this dude. The other group comes up. By the way, and you don't know the end of the story, but I'll tell it when you're done. Eric. Who was hitting like a motherfucker. Aaron. Eric. You tell me the dude that was getting on me?

It's Eric. 99% sure it's Aaron? Okay. I could be wrong. He'll listen to the podcast. He'll tell us. Eric. Which I know is your name.

He was. You probably right. Brinkley? He was just hit. Yeah. Eric. Well, I mean, I don't think. I wasn't going to do.

that mean yes yes well we told him he's going to shout him out oh that's what we did people don't know if he's erin or eric brinkley anyway whatever Aaron brinkley I guess since we well man's name was Eric he's standing up there he's hitting in various ways and then in the middle of he tells us he was like look guys I voted for W and 04 I did lifelong Republican and like I'm being I'm being serious right now you guys your podcast and you know he goes he goes i voted for w and oh four you know i was that guy he goes and then uh then you guys wrote your little book he said it exactly and i and i said in response to that oh we wrote a little book and it changed

your life uh and he goes then you guys wrote your little book and drew said that he was like yeah no i'm not kidding it did it changed my life it really did and thank you guys and he goes and I didn't even want It used to Drew's like Thank you by the way Because I didn't even want to say this Because a couple of podcasts ago You were on there talking about

I'm just so sick of people telling us How we changed their lives It made them feel better And that's like That's literally how he was doing it And y'all were deaf jamming I would find We're like running back and forth

Fist Pump I think I did a gainer He was killing me He was like, uh, you, him to, he's like, you're just like, if I hear one more fucking person, tell me how I change their life. Then he goes, I'm going to go over here and put on my little fucking panda suit and dance out the middle of fucking New Orleans. And he started, if y'all saw that video during the panda suit, drunk in New Orleans, God, he was fucking immersed. Well, before he, before he got in on me, when he said, you did change my life.

Because I was like, oh, what, we changed my life? Because you did. I, like, started to get choked up. And I was like, God damn, you got me choked up. And then he started just fucking. Roast. Jeff Jam roasting me. Son.

Well, then y'all were having so much fun. You didn't hear it. And I go, I go, okay, what I really say? What did I say? What did I really say? And he was like, you said that people do that, and you almost cry, and you hate crying in front of people. And I was like, thank you.

It does have a happy ending. You made it hit less. Yeah, I tend to make it hit less. Oh, my God. That's fucking phenomenal. It was phenomenal. But that is what I said, and he did almost make me cry. Cho.

Oh, wait. Oh, fuck. I'm an idiot. Oh, I farted a minute ago. You all remember that? That helps the case from before. Did y'all hear when I was interviewing Andy last week and I farted into the microphone? No.

How upset she got? No, God damn it? What part? Like, is it close to, I mean, I'm saying it's close to the beginning. It was close to the beginning because we were. We're taught because we started talking about code switching. I haven't listened to one of y'all's. And that's when we got into how red she gets and how she's violent when, you know, men sexually assault her.

She was talking about punching assholes. Because I farted into the microphone. It was before that's what led to her talking about punching assholes. Me farted. I farted in the microphone and she goes, ooh, you just farted into the mic. And I was like, oh my God, you just code switched during calling me out or whatever. That's a lot about a fart. And then I don't remember, Trey, do you remember what she said?

maybe she didn't say it maybe he was her eyes but i feel like i recognize in her that she thought she she processed what we've talked about on here is like oh they just fart directly into the mic i think i've never thought not the guest mike she didn't say anything about it but i know exactly what you're talking about she said that and you're like you said you said everybody knows we're at home with a different setup right now so like the fart mic isn't here but we normally have a dedicated fart mic and i'm sure during that moment is when she was like processing all that. Right.

That's fucking amazing. Joe. Yeah, buddy. I know you very high now, but you had a thing. I'm coming around. You had the thing you wanted to share about your butt. Yeah. I don't really know how this fits

in anything, but it's just a funny story and I've never told it. Oh my God, I can't wait. So this one time, it's actually the girl, now, okay, the girl that sent me this is the graduation, it's her little sister graduating tomorrow, so I'll see her tomorrow. anyways back in the day uh son i think i'm too how to tell this goddamn story

would you like me too yes please honestly sincerely really i'm so dude i'm blazed you remember it tray you can help me i mean i remember it i mean i can do it i can dude i can tell you point by point what happened right now you can jump in anytime all right she sends me a picture god damn it okay so she sends me a picture you're single this was a while i'm saying yeah this was a while ago like it was a flip phone situation that type of I've forgotten this story and you told it to us the other day because you remembered it and about killed me. I know, I haven't forgotten shit. I guess you forgot to tell us.

Oh, right, right. I'm saying I don't forget it right now. I'm just so goddamn high that this seems like mush. But the point is you just told us this three, four weeks ago, maybe less. And you just didn't realize you had never told us the story. I could have sworn that I told y'all. I about jumped out of a window. So, so anyways, I was hanging out and I get a text message on my phone.

I'd been drinking the night before, like hammered drunk. and so I get this I get this picture from my friend Kelly and Kelly and it was a fucking big old booty and I was just like hell yeah like I don't know her like I didn't know she'd do that

like just out of the blue so you know I did what anybody would do and just went straight to I'm about to whip it to this nude yeah you got your dick out already you're hoping for some more already ready to go

so like this one I'm like I'm gonna fucking whip it to this fucking but and then I get a ding on my phone and check it because it might be another one right of course so I get a dang it's from her yeah I get a ding oh it might be another picture I get a ding on my phone and she was like ha ha ha you were so drunk last night and I'm like yeah okay ha ha ha what and she's like I sit

I'm fucking it up because I'm goddamn high anyways I'm like oh yeah I was super fucking drunk and she's like, do you even remember taking this picture? And I was like, what? And she goes, you dick's in your hand. Dicks in my hand. It's kind of hard. I go, what picture?

And I'm thinking she sent me something that hasn't come through yet or whatever. And I go, what picture? She goes, you pulled your underwear up in your butt and were acting like it was a thong and running around. She had sent me a picture of my own butt and I was about to jack off to it. You had started. Oh, I'd started. I got myself hard on my own butt. He jacked off to his own butt.

Not fully, but. I'm very well... Not to completion. Yeah, I thought it was Kelly's butt, but it was my butt. Well, we've all been there. Well, dude, my butt ain't bad now. I mean, it's, you know... My man, it's justified.

No, listen, I'm saying... Listen, me... I have an addendum to this story that I hope that Corey allows, but go ahead. What I'm saying is that my butt looks good in clothes right now, but back then, it was... I mean, you know, it's not... I wasn't working out all the time then, but I was fucking had metabolism. and shit. My butt looked really good. It's like, it's a butt.

You know what I'm saying? Remember I was telling you, I'd fuck a pair of tities if you put them on the wall. I don't give a shit. Like, it's a butt. I thought, you know, it was just a nice butt. But it was my butt. I don't have it. What's your addendum? Okay, again, you feel free to do whatever you want with this.

Recently, we were filming the short film that I made. We're out there doing a thing. I mentioned on a previous episode of the podcast that Corey, during all the scenes we were filming, Corey's character was hammered, and Corey,

he's a method actor, so he was in real life hammered the entire time. Right. Me and Drew knew, because he had told us earlier in the night, that his fiance, the lovely Amber, had sent him a picture

that nobody's, that he didn't show anybody but us. Weren't they here? No, They weren't. They were Tabi Island. They were going to go to Charleston, but they went to Tyby Island. He had just told us that she had sent him a picture of her tities,

you know, like any loving woman will do, with his face, like. They had temporary tattoos. Temporary tattooed onto her titty. So she sent a picture on her own tities with his B-ass head, temporary tattooing on to them. The only tities in the game that can handle them, bro. He told us that, and we knew it. So, fast forward an hour or so, we're sitting there filming a campfire scene. I forgot where you were going with this.

Corey Method actor, who's drunk as fuck in real life. Also, we're miced up the entire time, so everyone on the crew can hear us. We're in a lull between shots. They're changing lenses or something. And me, and Corey sitting by the campfire. He looks at me and goes, hey. I'm about to go jack off to my fiancé's tetties. What I said,

wow. I was like, that is wild. Congratulations, buddy. That's, you know, that's a rare,

that's a rare thing. Yeah. Jack off to your own woman's titty. Yeah. Unheard of. And then I was like, it's funny how what instigated that was her tattooing your face onto them. Like,

he saw her tinnies with his own face on and was like, I ain't going to last a minute. Why you look at this shit? God damn. And then I looked at you and said, and also, I'm miced up right now. Because I had forgotten that, and the entire fucking cast had heard,

or the entire crew with their headphones on her. And heard me talk about jacking off to my fiancathes tithies. So you've jacked off to your own butt and your own face, but your own face was on a set of tities. Yes, that's true. And you thought your butt was a woman named Kelly's butt. Yes. But it weren't.

It remains. that he's jacked off to his own face and his own butt. That is forever true. Yeah. It's for me. You're going to hear you speak. Yeah, man. One time you jacked off in a 94-degree hotel room on a turned-over mattress.

Yeah, we talked about that on there. That's all. Yeah. I know. I'm just reclan. I'm just, we're going through it all. Oh, yeah. Mexican plumber came in to unclog the shit toilet.

We're doing ghosts of whooping it past. Oh, God. damn boys. Well, I'm baked. Yeah. Where are we out right now? It's good. Okay.

I feel good about it. Oh, too. I love ending on Corey Jackson off. It's good. I'm glad that we put all this at the very end because, like, the first part of it, you know, that was some pretty good, uh, I feel like people are going to be, oh, fuck. They're back to doing it. And then a Corey jacked off to his own butt. But it was titt.

It was, too. It was, Titties. I want to ask, I think it's interesting. and also I'm genuinely curious. What would you argue with me about at the beginning of this? Was we just agreeing to-agre in each other? Y'all were doing the thing, but I was too high to tell you. Y'all were doing the thing we were agreeing with each other.

My only statement was this town feels like slavery. But then it felt like you thought that my statement was they ought to change themselves because of it. That is what I thought. Or not necessarily what I thought, but yeah, that is how I interpreted. I mean, you know, I don't think there ought to be... We'll go back to the tape later, guarantee that. Orkby Confederate statues.

Hell no. And I think there should be statues. And there is here. To be fair, there is plaques here honoring like, you know, I've seen some of them. Like where the fucking docks were that they literally traded the slaves when they first got off the boats. I mean, they have shit commemorating that. But other than that, as long as that's the way at Ork be, no, I don't think they should change. I'm not, I wasn't saying that.

I was just, I was just wondering if that's what you were getting that. I don't know. Nah. Yeah. no yeah you know all right well uh see you next week schookeesh jacked off to his own face and my butt hey what's up guys this is the show where you still listen is everybody there

I know a lot of people listen to these podcasts while they're driving on the road maybe before work maybe after work maybe on lunch do me a favor buckle your goddamn seatbelt and do not text and drive just just put the put the seatbelt on I know I know a lot of people don't think it looks cool, but it's way cooler than dying in a needless auto accident. I know this isn't a disclaimer at the end of every podcast, but my town has lost, we lost a kid this week, and I'm having to go to another funeral, and this is not the only auto-related funeral that I've ever had to go to. and it seems like a lot of the times, if they had been wearing their seatbelt,

this could have been avoided. And that is a hell of a thing to think about going forward that if this person had just, you know, put on this thing that we know has been known to save lives, then they might still be here. And I'm not trying to blame anybody that's done it and lost it. Obviously, it's sad, and I'm not trying to make light of anything.

I'm not calling it. anybody's stupid but but going forward if you're listening to this especially please if you if you if you don't have it on right now just reach over and click your goddamn seatbelt there's probably somebody that wants to see you come home and there's probably somebody that you want to go home to and I don't care if you're going to the store it doesn't matter it doesn't matter I'm just going down the street it doesn't matter somebody could drill you when you're pulling out it just wear your goddamn seatbelt there's a lot of people that could still be here. A lot of people would still have dads. A lot of people would still have buddies.

Just put your goddamn seatbelt on. I'm sorry. I sound like a dick. I love you. Thank you all for listening to The Well Red Show. We'd love to stick around longer, but we got to go. Tune in next week if you got nothing to do. Thank you, God bless you, good night, and skew.