wellRED podcast - #75 - The Rock Hits & We Ourt Not Done That To Indians

Episode Date: July 17, 2018

The episode title sortly sums it up for the most part but we also talked about getting drunk and how weird it is that we call Walkie Talkies "Walkie Talkies". But also, yeah... whole lot more on Native Americans  wellREDcomedy.com for ticketssmokeyboysgrilling.com for some hitting meat rub

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion. Because used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

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That's the show. just got back from the DMV with my lovely wife, Mrs. Cho, she had to get her name changed. I know I'm not covering any ground that hasn't been covered before, but, um, why the fuck does the DMV smell like a goddamn cat diaper? It makes no sense.

Everybody in there is fucking the most awful, smelly, stinky, ugly, it's, okay, I'm not talking about people that, I'm not disparaging anybody out there that works at the DMV.

I'm saying everyone that goes to get their license in that moment is a fucking ugly, stinky piece of shit. And I don't know, like, I took a shower before I went. I put on a nice shirt, nice pants, nice shoes. But like, when I walk into the DMV, am I, like, do we all, are we all just smelly, stupid, stinky, pieces of shit? Like, is that how bad that place sucks?

That no matter, like, if George Clooney was sitting beside me, he's just a stinky, smelly, cat diaper fucking bag of dumb, mountain dew, greasy-haired shit. God damn it. I don't understand. That place is so fucking terrible. I'm not trying to be an 80s comic here. This isn't a bit. But Lord, it's every goddamn time. I go to the DMV all the time because,

as you can imagine, I lose a shit ton of licenses on account of I'm a fucking moron. But, like, why is everyone there so stinky and stupid and ugly? I don't get it. And I'm assuming I was stinky, stupid, and ugly, too. I hate the DMV. Nothing hits. I'm sorry. Well-read.

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Have y'all heard thought about how weird it is that we call them walkie-talkies? yeah you walk and you talk that makes sense yeah it makes too much sense it's not at all weird to you that

that is the actual thing that it's called because they were admitted I don't know if this one there I feel that they were named in the 60s and 70s when we was just doing that but what else did we do that with

uh also there somehow Pogo sticks I don't know this but isn't a military thing like a military convention. It has to be.

It seems like it. It would have to be. It may not be. It sounds like Australian. It does. I know. A wolkey talking. It sounds like Australian or British or something.

And maybe it is. I don't know. But it's just wild that like everybody was just like. It sounds. Yeah, walkie talkie. It's like a four-year-old man. It sounds more like. That's what a heater heats.

That makes sense. It sounds. Yeah, but heater isn't as whimsical and silly as walking. It would, in that sense, it would be called a walker-talker. Walker talker Because walking It sounds red Walker talker

Yeah Yeah Texas Ranger That sounds like a guy Who could Who like You know Is an old boy enough

To speak to your neighbor Who don't talk to nobody else Whose last name's Walker? Walker talker Like Jerry Walker Whipped your ass You need you a Walker talker To go in there

And Yeah Make peace Talk to Walker Yeah Can you name another Example of that Of walkie talk

That's literally what they're called That's what everybody calls them. I think if you're naming like if you wanted to be like super technical about it it's like it's a two way radio right but like no one calls them two way radios literally everybody in the English speaking world calls them walkie talk.

I also wonder and this is the other thing I was going to say is I bet it was a two way radio and then they turned it into a toy they said wolkey talking I just about guarantee you that that was a World War II invention called a two way radio and then like so many

you know technologies Is that a thing? Technology is the plural. Like so much technology from that era, it got turned into something that they could sell not to the military, and that a company branded it to Waltby Talk. I have moved this table three times. Trey keeps kicking it. I don't feel like I'm kicking it.

You are, but the microphone is slightly moving your foot. And since your foot is eight feet long and weighs 400 pounds, it's like a kick. Jesus fucking Christ. I just cannot hit. the fucking talking in the microphone part of the goddamn podcast. I'm not mad.

He was just so funny because I kept itching it. A whole new, brand new fucking setup and I'm fucking that up too. It doesn't matter what we do. You can't walk or talk. You're a talk you walkie. I'm a ruckie. I'm a lie sigh.

I think it has to be just the military thing and they always shorten stuff to make it easier to not in like a toddler way. I'm arguing the... I don't know. I'm arguing, without looking it up, but the military called it a two-way radio and that someone branded it walkie-talkie to sell it to kids. I mean, maybe, but I just feel like that's some Army shit. They nickname stuff.

They do nicknames. They do, this for my time, not in the military, but in the federal government. They do acronyms. Right. They don't. AWOL. Yeah, they don't do like. Foo bar.

Silly little nicknames. They accronize everything. I guess you're right. Whatever it is. That's what they do. Should I read it? Yeah. Oh, God.

I'm about to come. A walkie-talkie, more formerly known as a handheld transceiver, or H-T is a handheld portable two-way radio transceiver. Its development during the Second World War has been variously credited to blah, blah, blah, and Motorola. I'm trying to get to where they started calling it that. All right, history. The first device to be widely nicknamed a walkie-talkie was development. of the US military during World War II, the backpack Motorola, blah, blah, blah.

This is the time of the team. It doesn't see how I got his nickname. Oh, wait, here he goes. Well, that's the whole fucking thing. The terms are confused today, but the original walkie-talkie referred to the back-mounted model and the handy talkie. Wait, I skipped some. The handy tokey.

It was a handy-talkie until they adapted it to a backpack where now you could walkie. talking and talking. That was a porno with Buster Keaton. Yeah, you're not solving anything as far as I'm concerned so far. I was right about when it was developed by God. Yeah, to me, that was just assumed. I do want you to come. World War II, am I wrong?

No, hell no. That's just, yeah, of course that's when it's. Sure, yeah, you guys just left that out when you guys were discussing your theory. We said it was when I brought up the military, like. It's World War II. Yes. You know what? I can't believe what I'm saying this.

I think Corey's right in that the military name. to that. I mean, it's what's implied here. It doesn't say it. It's implied. To God, we can figure this shit out. Google, why's it called a goddamn walkie talking? I did, and I'm saying it's, in this article that I'm reading, it's just implied

that, like, it doesn't even say that's where the name come from. It's just like it's a walking talk. You walk, you talk? Yeah, what the fuck else you do. What don't you get about it, queer? My damn greatest generation, man. We're in French.

That's fucking hilarious. But that's literally like if a, you know, I call the gun a pointy shooty, you know? Nah. No, I mean, kind of. A snaker rifle, a pointy shooting. A zumi shooting. A scopi-mopey. How about a zumi shooting?

Scopey-mopee. A scopi-mokey, mopey, yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I feel like there are things that are named after what they do. but I just can't think of them right now but not as goofy is that yeah there's got to be well it did say

okay but what I know well it didn't say the handy talk he came first and that's what the H.T stood for which like you know what in my mind a great little tidbit but it doesn't well the Andy talking can answer any talking first so in my mind that's just how the world

was before Hitler you know just like bup-b-da-da-da-da-da-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha and then he came out It was like, it's a C-B radio. Everything is serious now. Have you seen this guy? That's fucking hilarious.

It was just a sing-songy world and this fucking mustache piece of shit show up. It was just a fucking Walt Disney cartoon. As long as there weren't Jews, it well. Yeah, see, man. Yeah. By the way, it was wondering why I just made that joke. It turns out Walt Disney hated Jews.

Yeah. Weirdly, me and Katie watched saving Mr. Banks last night. Movie hits. It's a movie where Tom Hanks plays. Walt Disney and I remember thinking Tom Hanks plays Mr. Banks No he plays Walt Disney

Who the fuck's Mr. Banks? Mr. Banks is the father from Mary Poppins. This movie is about Walt Disney convincing the lady who wrote the Mary Poppins books Played by Emma Thompson. Thompson to give Disney the rights to make the movie.

Buddy, she's one of my all-timers. I fucking love Emma Thompson. but in the movie they allude to and very briefly one-time show Walt Disney smoking which is like that's the whole thing with Walt Disney like he smoked like three packs a day he never didn't have a cigarette in his mouth but the corporation has since since then they've like photoshopped cigarettes out of pictures of them and all this type of stuff put a swastika over that kiss my ass okay okay so like they alluded that a little bit of a little bit of it.

And me and Katie were talking about that, the cigarette part. And I was like, yeah, also, no Jew talk. Yeah, exactly. Like, there's just none of, you know, that just wasn't touched on. That was the, yeah, that's the thing about Disney that we're really trying to cover up. Right. Man, that's just, that just goes to show you how fucking full of shit everybody is. Like, look, you are not.

People back then be hating Jews. You aren't not hide the fact that he hates Jews, but I get why you do it. Of course, yeah. But we're hiding that he smoked cigarettes. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, I saw a picture the other day from the Tour de France. The Tour de France of like 30s or 40s or something like that.

And it was of all the bikers and the Tour de France smoking cigarettes. Just sitting there smoking cigarettes, hating Jews in the locker room. Well, yeah, the hate and Jews part, that went without saying. It was implied. Yeah. But they, like, for a period of time there, they thought that smoking cigarettes opened your lungs up more. Yeah. Sure.

So they all smoked them. That's in the King's Beach, too. My Thompson, his dad, the Dugger, he used to have all these old, like, retro advertisements and stuff, like on the walls, this house and shit. And I remember one for Lucky, Lucky Sprachs. And it was some mountaineer, like some guy that climbed Mount Everest or something. It was like, I never could have done it without my luckies.

Yeah. And it's a guy on the top of a mountain holding a cigarette. At the same time, though, I fucking hear you. I mean It ain't going to help your lungs But by the time I got up there There's no way I'm not having a fucking cigarette I mean okay I get that

But yeah I get it I was just making a joke Right That's literally the dumbest thing ever I get to you know Past on hip people were stupid as fuck in the past I get that But like how can you do some super Super

physically exerting activity Smoke a cigarette in the middle of it And not immediately know Oh God God, that makes it so much worse. Let alone think that it's helping. I've always thought... I don't get how you can have that physical reaction.

My dad talks about... He's like, yeah, back then, they, you know, there was a time... It was like, you know, in the fucking 40s and 50s when they finally figured out, oh, God, cigarettes are bad for you because of the tar and blah, blah, blah. I'm like, did you really have to get to tar before you logically thought, breathing smoke into my goddamn lungs? Yeah, this is fine.

You know what I'm saying? on a what are you serious no I'm fucking me okay that just inherit I mean I know that I guess now we just know cigarettes

I can buy honestly I could buy that part because I mean they all say we'll do yeah the blood that's just in your body

and is there from the whole time you're born they thought that that didn't hit I know I know it's done get that out of there

put the smoke in there hits yeah fucking stupid but what I'm saying is you ever like sat around and think about

what we're so wrong about Yeah, I'll do all the time. Yeah. And how many of them I'm doing? Like, that's clearly what's one. Oh, dude. You know there's a bunch.

Like, I work out. Like, I mean, like, I'm doing one of them things. I don't know what it is, but some thing that in 20 years. I know what mine are, but yeah, there you are. Everything I'm doing has been wrong for a while. But they flip on egg yolks all the time. They flip on broccoli every once in a while. Bacon, too.

Nah, we know what bacon is. Yeah. That's just every now and then. milk's one. Milk's one for sure. They go back and forth on milk a lot. Yeah, because it's not natural, right? We drink milk until we were a certain age and then we're supposed to stop.

People in China don't be drinking milk, right? Well, being lactose intolerant apparently is normal historically. But we needed vitamin D because we weren't getting the sign. Don't hit, right? So we made it hit by getting milk. I keep thinking about Sam J's bit on that Netflix special. About white people being aliens. I didn't say that.

She's like, white people, y'all are aliens. Y'all ain't from here. And then she goes on, she explains a lot of it. And she goes, this is y'all's science. Y'all taught me this. You come to an environment. You adapt. It might take you three, 400 years, but you adapt to what's there.

Y'all been here for millennia, and the sun will fucking murder you. Y'all ain't from this goddamn planet. Louis had a bit kind of like that. Remember? Nope. Yeah, he talked about, uh, with, it was just quiet. real quiet like he's dead right there's no way that we're from here because if we were we wouldn't be so goddamn uncomfortable all the time and he mentioned the sun like that shouldn't burn us we

pollen shouldn't you know we shouldn't be able to not i mean i'm fucking this up but he had a similar thing you fart yeah dude your farts a are always bad but tonight they smell like a old man's fart i had chili yesterday like an old man you know how old people be smelling yeah like to eat chili. Yeah, that's right, actually. You nailed it. Soup eating motherfuckers. Soup eating motherfuckers, dude.

So, did we figure out, was I right? Were me and you kind of both right? We're calling you right. Well, Trey's trying to act like he knew it was World War II. He said that, though, didn't it?

I mean, I can go back to the tape later. I thought I said it. Well, we'll hear about it later. I'll go back, rewind a tape. I'm sure people can't wait to tell either me or Trey or both of us while they won't know which one is

fucking who. I never said World War II. I said it's a military thing, surely it's a fucking two-way rape. Like I was saying, what else would it have been? Maybe World War I, but like that's literally the only other... Well, when I said I'm about to come, I got excited because

I thought it was a World War II technology that turned into a regular everyday item, which was like a big thing that we did, and then that's where the name came from, but I actually found no evidence of that. And without evidence, I can't come. That's how I work. That don't hit. I've never

once come to evidence. I literally don't even know what that means in this context. I think I've come to evidence. Particularly evidence of sadness. Yeah. My come has often been evidence. We're going to Lake Champlain tomorrow? Did I say it right? No, don't hit. It's like right

there, right? I thought we was going to watch the soccer game. We are that. I ain't doing That seems like 10, though. Yeah, that's like 10 or 11 in the morning. Yes. Well, I've already made plans to go to brunch with my friend. The soccer game is at 10 or 11 in the morning?

Yeah, well, I ain't going to be worth shit after watching that mess. I'm going to get fucking drunk. What, huh? You don't know a goddamn eat Shepherd's Pie? Get shit-face watch soccer? Will hit? I'm going to tell my friend around. Where are we going to watch that?

I'm going to... She invited me to a pancake house, and you guys are invited too, but they may not have soccer Funnivins. She said skinny pancake. I and out. Would you all rather go there and then go to Finnegan's? We're just literally discussing our plans for in the morning on the podcast. Sorry podcast listeners.

We don't have a lot of time, so we kind of got to do this. You've been keeping up with the World Cup? Hey, how do you think that... Okay, go ahead. I was just going to talk about World Cup. You've been keeping up with it? A little bit. Not really.

A little bit. A lot of upsets? I'm for Anglans. Like originally or now you are? Who's in it still? No, originally. because we were never in it this year. No, I know.

But I mean, that's what I'm saying. That was your horse from the beginning. Yeah. I was Argentina. Because my paperless English. I was going to cheer for Argentina because now that he grew a beard, Lionel Messi, looks like the better version of me. Hey, yeah, that's real hard.

He doesn't look anything like me without a beard, but with a beard, it's uncanny. Yeah. I mean, I look like his fat brother who's shitty and, like, gambles on his games and stuff, which I would do and win. Yeah. Lose. But then they're out. You're wrong.

They're out. You'd lose. I wouldn't have bet. I said I'd bet against him. I bet against your own brother. Of course. That's how I've been making money my whole life. That's crazy.

I think now I'm for Belgium. And I said that before they beat Brazil today. I told Andy because literally, literally I just went, well, they got good beer and they're close to Germany without all the baggage. They beat us in the last World Cup we were in, so fuck them. if they go down.

England's never beaten us? Okay. No, we handed them at L. Hand them to L. 1776. I remember that? I was there. What was that joke?

England's our mama. I think they're our daddy. Whatever. Canada and Australia is our sisters, brothers and sisters. What about South Africa? They're like our fucking step brother. South Africa?

It was part of English. Part of Dutch, yeah. Yeah, I thought it was a different. white. Uh-uh. There was some Dutch, a lot of Dutch influence, because the Dutch East India Trading Company was the first one to establish a port and city there

and began to establish a government. But then the British took over, I mean, literally, as the Dutch East India Trade Company faded, and the British took over the world, South Africa was one of the ones they took over. Yeah, they're fine. Yeah, no one stuff don't hit, does it? No, I mean, I knew all that, but sometimes I forget to think

about how much fucking... You knew all that? I knew that shit when not... Yes. About goddamn... I want podcast sisters to know that I just turned into Bjork over here. I had taken a drink, Miller Lai, as Trey did that. And it got me so excited, I almost spit it out.

So I put both hands over my face while I googled. Bjork did that? It's... You're not doing that. She don't want... Kristen Wiggs impersonation. Yorke didn't want to wear a swan, right? Yes.

She fucking wild as shit. she up to now her mama i just saw a thing just the other day york biorke's mom just checks out yeah york's mama said she was singing before she could talk man fuck that that ain't that

well i don't know what countries are from but they sound sing-songy to me is she Icelandic yes that's that is well she is she's Tim Dillan's that big special I'm racist against groups

I don't need to be racist against. I hate the Dutch. They sound sing-songy. Yeah. I tried to do a bit when I first moved to New York about how my uncle's head would explode in New York when he found out that there was such thing as foreign white people. He went up there and he's like, hey, thank God you're here.

And they were just, they were like, oh, how are you doing? God damn it, no. I think she is Icelandic. She is. Yeah. I just go, but at the same time, I feel like she don't look like any other Icelandic motherfucker. Like, she's something else.

How many other Icelandic motherfuckers you know? None. Corey to stay hanging out with Vikings. That wouldn't surprise you. Actually, you know, there's this little population south of Chickamauga. It's technically inside the city limits. My dad used to do all their press, and, you know, they had a run for mayor once in a one time. I fucked three of the women.

You know, they got different STDs there. You know how it works. What was the fucking, what was the chief that my dad was talking about? He used to call my house drunk or his house drunk. Were you there, Trey? Dad, y'all keep talking. I might take me a second to phone. Dad was talking about how my papal, my poppy,

he did a lot of work for the Cherokee Nation and, like, we're, you know, around the reservation and shit, and they were all, you know, buddies. He went over and hung out with them, hit for them. And, God damn it, I got to know this name, but anyways, one of the chiefs would get hammered drunk and call my me-maw and talk to her on the phone. And dad, we was eating in Nashville, and he went on this whole fucking tirade about it.

This is what he said. Quote, Dale Forrester. Yeah? We're Indian as hell. Soggy Sanuk used to call my house every Friday drunk and asked to talk to my mama. Dad's soggy Sanuk. That was his name. We were literally...

We're Indian as hell. What was really funny is that, like, dad, the lead up to that was us. I think one of us, oh, God, dude. That sounded like a bag of jam getting slammed against a wall. That sounded like gravy as a far. That's what I'm saying. God damn. That was far, right.

We were literally making that, hey, what do you call, what do you call 16 rednecks, you know, full blood? We were literally making that joke to make fun of the, and then dad went smooth into it. It was like, no, hell no, we're Indian as shit. Soggy Sanuk used to call drunk talk about it. It was so fucking funny. Soggy Sunuk. Lord Jesus. I'm sorry, I was looking at my notes.

The weird thing I read it. This is a lively podcast. We're lively. We're Indian as hell. Yeah. Yeah. Never known less Indian people. No.

No. Like, the only thing Indian about my dad is like... Y'all's house has a name. I know. Like, that's how much of a fucking, like, house it is. Well, I mean, you know, that Dad ain't have nothing to do with that shit.

It's not like we, our house having a name. We wasn't born at that goddamn house. Like, my dad did come from modest beginnings, but the only thing about dad is... They don't even have property. Of course, motherfucker, we ain't Indian. Well, that's all I'm saying. I know.

But Dad's whole thing was when he, like, he does have, as big as he is, he does still have a square jaw. He tans easy as a motherfucker and he can't grow a beard. all of which are, in his defense, characteristics of Native Americans. That being said, fuck no. Like, there's no way anybody in our family's Indian,

and I turned out looking like a goddamn Scottish basketball. There's no circumstances. You do it like a golf ball got diabetes. I know. And, like, I mean, I don't know what this is, but, like, yeah, I don't hit. Those are jowls, what she was pointed at. I don't. hit.

And Indians hit. Indians, their hit. Well, they're hit. Dead hit. Yeah. Poor one out. You ever read about how many of them we killed? Because I didn't learn about it in high school.

Which is all of them, right? Yeah, it was. Yeah. Do you know what that number is, though? It's a level that we would call genocide. Oh, I mean, yeah, clearly. There's only. four left.

We genocide to fuck up. Even if there was only 2,000, we killed all 2,000. How many do you think it was? 6,

I don't know, oh God. 4 million. I was going to say just because you killed 6 million Jews are still Jews. This is my

math. This is my math. It's got to be more. It's got to be more because there's four Indians and they're all in Tyler Sheridan movies. Y'all, I mean,

y'all are approaching the number. I was going to say 13 million. so and I'm sure I'm misremembering this because it's been a while but it was around 7, 8 million is the estimate, like the best estimate of how many people were in America before we got here because when you, again I don't know about you guys, when I was like 16 I was a smart kid I paid attention to history class my mom was history teacher like

yeah I thought it was 200,000 I'm not well I didn't know how to count about that. what we did to the Indians. Disease did most of us. It is still, because of that, it is still different than the fucking Holocaust and everything. Without it out. We didn't, we, by and large,

you know, Andrew Jackson, our boy, Pennsylvania guy, aside, we didn't, by and large, round them up, send them somewhere and systematically exterminated. But we didn't have to. A massive part of it was disease,

and like... Pretty sure Hitler didn't have a dinner to kick it all off with a goddamn cornucopia. We didn't have to though. No. Right, for sure. But it also wasn't... I don't know.

We were... We were... We were... We were... They sat, they had a fucking meeting about it and landed on this. I mean, we had some meetings. About how much we wanted there.

We stay. They didn't about the Indian problem. We had a lot of meetings about the Indian problem. But that was the ones that was left over. I mean, that was like the 200,000. See, that's the thing. That's the 200,000 we murdered because, you know, God got rid of the seven. That's when we stopped counting.

I think it's what it was. Well, no, I think it's, I really think it's who was left. After the disease is fucking. Dude, it's inexcusable the way that fucking white people treated them and all that shit, without a doubt. But I still do think there's a difference between that. I totally agree. see what you're saying. I'm just saying that I was like an older person when I realized that

this wasn't just like an empty con. It's not that I thought it was an empty continent. I was naive about how fucking, I don't know, developed the right were. There were so many Indian nations here. There were like nine, ten Indian nations spread across America. They had huge civilizations. Major ones. I was just saying major ones.

Oh, okay. Because like some of them were umbrellas and like work together or whatever. I mean, Cherokee, Chippewa, Waltz. Sue, Sue, Crow, uh, uh, Mohicans, Navajo.

Well, I know like, uh, the Navajo was in South West America, right? Correct? Outlaws. Yes. I know a few of those men

were considered like, um, chirokee, you know, chop, tip of wall. That's in the side seat. Just go to tip.

Yeah. He slated me. I don't even know what I was saying. The Cleveland was. The Cleveland was. Cleveland Indians. Motorcycles. There was a

fuck ton of them. Yeah. Phew. Arapaho. That sounds like some page would sell on the internet. That's hilarious, but it is also an actual Indian tribe.

Man. Do you know the Cherokee Nation for a very long? First of all, lacrosse, that's an Indian sport. Sure. They invented it. It was, what was the ball?

For a very long time, and maybe still, I don't know, the Cherokee Nation competed, like, an international lacrosse outside of, like, they weren't the American team, you know what I mean? It was like the world crop of lacrosse, all the different countries with their teams and shit, and the Cherokee Nation set their own team every year and was, like, hit very, very hard at it.

That does not surprise me. I mean, neither, but. But then Jim Brown whooped their ass? No, I've been reading this in one of Thompson Sports Illustrated's in, like, 2003, something like that. Well, I just know that Jim Brown was the Michael Jordan of lacrosse. Jim Brown? The running back. Y'all didn't know that?

No, I didn't know that at all. And I'm fascinated with that, dude. I had no idea, no. Yeah, I mean, by Michael Jordan of LaCross, I'm sure whoever wrote that only meant American Look, like he was the best college player in the world at that time, but apparently he was dumb. He was something fucking else, man. Yeah.

Just one of the best athletes that ever live. Dude, because, like, I mean, it's people go on record to say it, like, there was people arguing,

like, you know, it's like, Walter Payton's the greatest runback of all time. And there were people that play with Jim Brown. They were like, no,

it was Jim Brown, and here's the reason. He's going back and just watch Jim Brown's highlight type, and it's fucking unreal. Like, there were people

that played on his team that went on record as saying some of his line would not block for him because they were fucking racist and hated him. Like, they literally would let him

and Jim Brown would be like, I don't care, I hit, y'all don't hit. And like, you can go back and watch tape where, like, a guard will just like, who gives a fuck. And Jim Brown's like, I don't need your ass. So, I mean, you know, pretty big asterix, I'd say. And you still hit.

I can't say that word ever to say my life. Asterisks. Asteris. Asteris. Asteris. No, I just say asteris. That's a word. Why the fuck did they make that word?

Askericks. Why the fuck did they make that word? Who? I'm saying, like, you could do. anything and you got to make a word that like dude I don't know anybody that says it good English is stupid it's so fucking dumb like you got all these goddamn letters

and like even if someone says it right it takes a lot of effort to say that word right it don't hit having young children that are learning how to read can't imagine will really remind you of how fucking stupid English is as a language I mean I don't have nothing compared to

maybe the other languages are just as bad but I'm saying there's so many times where I'm trying to explain something. There's studies. About like, okay, so that's an E, right? But there's an A after that E, so it's not like, you know what I mean?

All these just like rules that then sometimes we just don't adhere to at all. For no apparent reason. Some of the rules we learn as kids literally just, they aren't true. They ain't even true. Before E, except after C, ain't even a thing. Opposite of true.

Ain't even a thing. The word fucking, I mean, this is a hack thing, but the word phonics ain't phonetic. Like none of that shit. Right. That's insane. That thing, the thing that is trying to describe it, it itself is a contradiction of the fucking word.

It's insane. There, there, there. It's fucking stupid. We don't hit. We don't hit. At the same time, we'll hit so hard. So goddamn hard. Fuck words.

We don't meet them. Yeah. We just make the rest of the world. Yeah. We're going to fucking word rules. We'll go over and talk. We're going to fucking fart. We're the worst of words.

Remember me and you talked about, I did in a bit. I was watching a documentary in Russian one night about black Russians because I was high... The drink. The other one night, we were on the road. You were in the back seat of the car. Black folk from Russia? I was high as fuck? And I said to y'all, there are black people in Russia?

Yeah. And then I started Googling it, and they had done a documentary. I bet that they most badass motherfuckers that have ever lived. I know exactly where this is going, because I absolutely remember this. About black people were Russian. So I started watching it. And then the fucking trailer was in Russian. and I started watching clips and everything's in Russian

and it's got subtitles and then they get to words like racism oppression oppression and they're Americans all in English where are you telling England or the only people who've ever done anything it's like how anything that's super queer we have to say it in French

yeah that was a joke it's like we don't have an American word for that that's the soup dejeure yeah that's for deja vu or whatever like yeah when you're talking about anything gay, it's French. Fucking the hatred or oppression.

It's got to be in English. That is, ever had to be foul every time of us professed. I remember you saying that and I remember being blown away at the time. I'm so glad you brought that back up because that is truly fucking remarkable and hilarious. This shit's ether for you or something because this exact thing has happened. Where I said this. No, maybe not on the podcast, but I'm saying since that's happened, we've discussed that.

I'm sure. I'm sorry. I was probably drunk. That is insane. You ought to do a bit about that. I thought about it and I told Trey, you just fucking do it. I don't even know how to do a bit about that. And he said, okay, but then he didn't do it.

He don't hit it. I think there's stuff that it goes with with you. You'll be screaming about racism. I do be doing that. Yeah. We'll talk about it later, baby. Okay, baby. Right now I'm trying to donate to...

Tell him about where we're going to eight. Drew's over here fucking bouncing his checkbook. No, I'm donating to queer Appalachia. They raise the money for this. Well, it... Give them a plug. Well, also, this is a problem with goddamn pronouns and a white, straight, redneck who's just now

understanding about all this trying to tell you a goddamn story. They were kicked out of their house. They're trans. This is one person you're talking about? And they're trying to get them to some other place. They're trying to get them a bus ticket out of there or whatever. Okay. Because they have a place to live now.

so they can finish fucking high school. Jesus Christ. Yeah, Jesus Christ is exactly right. What if he was trans? I mean... I mean, he did have long hair and pretty eyes. Yeah, I mean, he was a...

I feel like if he'd have been a woman back then, it wouldn't be no buck. No, hell no. Pyle would have fucked the shit out of it. It would have been a coffee table book and it would have sucked. God damn it. I keep putting the wrong zip coat in on my card.

Anyways, go to Queer Appalachia and help this... Well, Queer Appalach is an online zine, online magazine. They're raising money. Well, they've already put out their first. They're about to put out their... Zine is the gayest thing that you just said to that sentence. I'm sorry. I don't hit.

I'm sorry. What's happening? What we doing? I was doing... Y'all were supposed to keep doing... I know. We don't... We don't hit.

I'm not mad at you. You're doing something actually good. I want to talk about the rock. Dwayne Johnson? How much time you got? When we talked the other day about how much he hits? Well, because... Kind of.

That's actually what I want to talk about, because we're having this conversation. He does hit. He hits Supreme for many hits in so many ways, and I think he's just awesome. You've got to me. But, in my opinion, and if you step back and take an objective viewpoint of his career.

Yeah, we've had this conversation. Was it on podcast? No, it wasn't. Me and you did have this conversation. I wanted to do it on the podcast because, again, I'm a huge fan. I love the guy. Can I say this before you start? For the record, you flipped me, because I thought, go ahead.

Right, yeah, when we first started talking about it, you were like, no, I was. I said, I know he's not the same because you can't be the same, but he's the Arnold Schwarzenegger of our. or Sylvester Stallone. But he's not. No, because he hasn't. He doesn't have a Terminator or Predator. He doesn't have a Rocky or a Rambo or any of that at all. Yeah.

And yes, Jumangey is like arguably his best movie. And that movie hits for me. Real hard. Like, he's just not, like, he's great. He's played it real safe. He's great. But body of work-wise, it just don't know. I will throw it up to like, he, but, you know,

You do have to, and again, you flip me. I'm on your side. But just to play this other side. He also, good collegiate football career, played in the pros, and was one of the biggest mega wrestling stars of all times. You've got to give that time. The single-best bodybuilder

that would ever walk the face of the earth. Yeah, you're right. He's not even American. And was the goddamn governor. Well I'm saying. He's not even American. Is that Bill Burbitt? Bill Burr.

He came. You go somewhere. He came over here. As far as postman. Right. Yeah. On top of all, like, dude. No, it's, you're right.

But I guess my thing was like, he's out. Like, you can't do that. Right. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Like, shut up. That's unattainable. It's insane.

And again, there's no way to talk about this without just like bullet point in Burr's bid. Right. But like, you know how he made his first million? That motherfucker was, I don't even, I don't think Byrd talked about this. That motherfucker was a millionaire before he ever did the bodybuilding shit, before he ever did Mr. Universe, before he ever, did movies. What he did was

he came over here and he just needed a job to support himself while he lifted a thousand pounds for no goddamn reason. And what he did was, he was going to be a bricklayer and he came up with this idea where he was going to call it European bricklaying. That's just what he named it. Technically not a lie.

He's a European feller. And these people that were hiring him thought, oh, this is a new type of thing. This is European bricklaying. This is a real fancy thing. He cleaned up with these motherfuckers in Los Angeles because they were just All they were doing was laying fucking bricks. But he had this gimmick.

He ended up, like, had seven crews or whatever. He invested his money, right. And he ended up, like, he built a company from the ground up based on, I bet they'll think this is something. And all we're doing is laying fucking bricks. They were like the shit in L.A. It's insane. Then he went and fucking bench press, smoked weed, became the goddamn Terminator, became the governor. You're right.

Schwarzenegger is unattained. Yeah, it's unreal. He's a Jordan level of just... He's so much more impressive than anything I've ever heard about Jesus in my entire life. Right. Because, like, when you... Like, Swordsonager didn't have, like, oh, my dad's in space. Like, he's just a fucking person.

You know what I mean? Like, Jesus didn't walk on water. Yeah, he walked on water, but like, it ain't... He was a goddamn... He was magic. Swartonager's just a dude. It's insane. Schwarzenegger, you heard of here, folks.

Schwarzenegger, way better than Jesus. Okay. Most impressive thing about Jesus was, he figured out. how I turned water in the wine and like, you know, they didn't make him keep doing that. Yeah, and then he didn't become a raging alcoholic. I'm saying, my friends knew I knew how to do that. They'd beat my

ass out of the liquor store. Yeah, funny, he had to turn smarties into pills. But dude, also, not at that level, but also fucking Stallone because Stallone sold his dog to Ride Rocky. Stallone wrote Rocky.

He got nominated. It's more aggressive too because he's dumber. he seems dumber but I don't think he is the only reason he seems dumb is because of his palsy Bell's palsy he has that talk he when he was a kid I have that a little bit

yeah you got Bell peppers I think is what you got I mean I have a little bit I told you got the palsy it was before we went on tour he's got pap palsy this is before we went on tour

y'all know this I drool sometimes I don't mean to I do that I ain't got palsy you probably got some palsy yeah you got a little bit We both eat up with palsy. The left side of my face droops a little bit. I went to the doctor.

This is before we went on. No, I think I remember that. How have I not, like, constantly giving you shit for this, though? Like, I started, I felt like drool. This was, I was working. You're just constantly having strokes. We were so bad. Yes, I was working the doctor.

You see me happy in your face collapses. And I feel like drool and I, like, wipe it. And I look in my phone or whatever. I'm like, my face is fucking drooping. And then I touch it and it's cold. that don't hit. Dead face. I'm like, I'm having a guy.

Dead face made out of my motherfuckers. I got Taco Bell palsy. I'm about to freak out. I went to the dark next day. And he's like, I think you have Bell palsy. And he's like, come back right? And I just dead. Well, yeah, because I'm, what are you going to do?

Well, it's just nerve damage. And it's like, and you go read about it. The body will hill itself on its own and once you're old as fuck. And then it won't. So, you know, whatever. I'm a bad palz. Yeah. I remember this now.

I got Taco Bell Paul. Yeah. I'm like, I remember this now, but it blows my mind that I've just let this go. Me too. You know what I mean? Because, like, that's a really fucking awesome burn. He's got bells posse. That's hilarious.

I got tongue-o bells posse. Oh, that's what I said. He said that. Oh, I missed it. I'm sorry that. You was talking about your actual affliction. I was talking over you. Anyway, Stallone, too.

He's got, he's got that, and he sounds stupid on account of part of his face, don't worry. Right, but he, right. But he wrote I know, that's what I'm saying he's not done. Like, that's a hundred percent

him. Yeah, it's amazing. That's one of those, uh, that's, that's still going on. That's fucking Creed 2 is coming out

next year. That's one of those things where you were, that's a 40 plus year franchise. It's not the same in money wise. It's insane. You were talking about, uh,

one time we heard him a conversation about how much intellectual property has made somebody. And with him and Rocky, it's, we, J.K. Rowling was our,

main example but like oh what brought it up was I was talking about that fucking Minecraft yeah because my son it's just intellectual property yeah the guy that created Minecraft is a straight up nerd little literal billionaire just off of Minecraft and we were saying how many

people have ever done that and jk. rallying become a billionaire just off what amounts to an idea yeah no physical jk rallying the Minecraft guy George Lucas yeah and of course Sloan at a billionaire but like he is somebody in that conversation that like Rocky hell you know i mean he's done some

other hitting shit but like clearly that's the you know cornerstone of his life and yeah dude it's 40 fucking years it's crazy and i haven't seen i'm saying the rock i love the fuck out yeah you're right i mean did you're not he don't he don't touch no either of them no he don't think that can exist though anymore in that well that's what he was saying a little bit ago but i'm sorry because Because think about that, how much harder Schwarzenegger hits than Stallone. Right. You know what I mean? Like, Stallone is insane.

Because he was, he won the fucking Iron Man. Like, he wasn't not shit. But, like, goddamn Arnold Schwarzenegger, dude. And also, third tier, Dolf Lundgren is a goddamn neuroscientist. Yeah, like, all these goddamn meatheads. It's insane, man. But, yeah, no, you're right. The Rock, he's awesome.

Of course, clearly. he doesn't aspire to do those things. Like he's a personality, he's a charming feller, he's very attractive. Well, yeah. He hits. He's a good-looking man. We was talking about the other day

about how hard he hits because he is both black and Samoan. And those are like the two hitting his things that you can be. I actually kind of, I sometimes think that his insane, ridiculous jackedness

is actually holding him back. in some ways. Yeah, because he, well, we talked about this too. He can only be that guy. You can't put him in... Right. He can only be the rock in whatever he's doing.

And he's talented enough to do other things, but the way he looks... You have to explain what he is. The way he looks, he can never do anything else. John's seen a super jacked, but it wasn't that distracting in the movie blockers. Like, you know,

I'm not saying I've seen that people in Chickamauga just be looking like him, but there are human beings that are just jacked down. and he, but the rock is like, it's, it's fucking, it's insane. But yeah, you have to account for what the fuck he is. He can't just be dude working at library. Right. Like, because there's no way that would, that would fucking happen.

So yeah, no, I agree with you. I read a thing when time about. I was not being able to be dude working in library holding him back. This means that he can, he literally, he's topcasted like a motherfucker. Right. Because he's so jacked and huge. like even if he had the capacity. You're having to Arnold?

Yeah. Somehow not, though. But Arnold just... He overcame. Hit harder. They did it. What do you mean, though? Explain what you mean.

The Rock has ever been in the Predator, the Terminator, fucking, uh... There are franchise... Total Recall. There are movies that the Rock's in that I think to younger kids will be as big as well as well as a lot. Hell not. Not the ones I just named.

Ain't no way. Also, you know, Schwarzenegger's Baywatch was Jingle All the Way, and Jingle All the Way kind of hit for a Christmas movie. KindergartenCorp hit. Schwarzenegger had some movies that were like, yeah. The Rock will be president. I'm not saying he couldn't.

Robbie used to call him the Rock Obama, because of how much he looks like Obama. Yes, he does. Are you kidding me? They look a lot alike. They both got the same mouth and same eyes, and same caramel, beautiful skin. is just a black people all lookalike thing oh yeah let's do that no just them too

don't like I'm the one that's being ridiculous that's not just me though there's a like Jimmy Fallon even once I hear Jim goddamn Obama's from Hawaii whatever it don't matter this ain't just me and Robbie Robbie I'm saying listen to me

listen to me listen to me whatever Robbie call wait they couldn't hear me because I was in there peeing I said the rock is Samoan and you reacted, responded. The Rock is black and Samoan, to be fair. Is he? That you?

That's, buddy, that? Oh, my God. Dude, no. Dude, no. No, that's in the mic. This recorder's ruined. That's Samoan. People can smell this in their phones.

It smell like spam. Anyways, let me, they, Robbie used to say that all the time. I don't think they look like. That's fine, but I'm saying it's not just a me thing. Robbie used to say it all the time. I was like, oh, I agree. And then one time, I think Jimmy Fallon called him

the Rock Obama, and then there was this whole thing about how they looked alike. So, like, it became a thing. It's not me saying all black people look alike, you piece of shit. When Trey said that, I laughed because I was like, the Rock Samoan. I didn't know he was half black and Samoa. God damn, son. Yeah. That's for you.

Yeah, I know. That's something else. It's not like when you burn a pan, when you cook tea too long or something. Yeah, but fart tape. Black and Samoan. We just had the conversation. in Hawaii last week, you guys, the two of you say... You reused the pan?

Mm-hmm. You know. It's grease. The two of you talking about how he was black and Samoan and no combination could possibly hit harder. He was saying that. I remember it now. I have forgotten. Okay.

Am I somehow wrong right now? Yes. Okay. Samoa, also, my favorite cookie. Samoa, we learned at the Chief Lua. Samoa. Yeah. The Chief taught us how to say it.

Chief was hitting like a motherfucker. Nobody ever hit harder than the chief And, uh-uh Oh man That one won't be as bad How you... I get it I know, I get it

I'm about to leave We've done enough Let's don't hit Buy everybody Rock heads Rock does hit And we weren't done that to Indians I had to add this side note too

Because I forgot to mention it At the beginning of the podcast I went to the DMV The reason I went to the DMV with my wife is because she had already left and come back to the house fucking twice because the first time she forgot her wallet

and the second time she went there they informed her that she had to have her marriage license not just her new social security card which makes no sense to me but as I said everybody there is a dumb stinky fucking idiot lunatic so she's so stressed

out and I'm like what Jesus Christ babe just don't just don't go Just go another day. And then she said something that reminded me so much of my mother that it made me shudder. She goes, I fucking have to, Corey. I put on goddamn makeup this morning. I'm fucking going.

And so I was scared. And so therefore I went with her so that I could comfort her on her journey. Anyways, I left that out by the first part. And I thought it was so stupid and funny that I wanted to include it here. Love you. Bye. Skew. Oh, I know.

I'll do this. Oh, I don't have to add the little thing in. Thank you all for listening to The Well Red Show. We'd love to stick around longer, but we got to go. Tune in next week if you've got nothing to do. Thank you, God bless you. Good night and skew. Buck of your seatbelts, motherfuckers.