wellRED podcast - #77 - Santa Claus and Wrestling: When Did You Stop Believing?

Episode Date: July 31, 2018

The boys discuss boobies (for the first 5 minutes if you aint into that) professional wrestling, Santa Claus, and Eric Church condeming the NRA. It was a fun episode.  wellredcomedy.com for ticketssmokeyboysgrilling.com for some hitting meat rubs

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion. Because used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie. I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now. Skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people. People across the skew universe, I should say. Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year?

Do you even know? Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery? Getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low mane? Because that's a thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better. And it's called Rocket.

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I used Rocket Money and realized that I had apparently been paying for two different language learning services that I just wasn't using. So I was probably like, I should, I should know Spanish. I'll learn Spanish and I've just been paying to learn Spanish without practicing. any Spanish for, you know, pertinent two years now or something like that. Also, a fun one I'd said it before, but I had a, I got an app, lovely little app where you could, you know, put your friends' faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got, I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies, you know, those weren't a little like

the cue ball looking twin fellas. Yeah. So that was that response to? What was that a reply gift for just when I did something stupid? Something fat and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first. But then I quit using it and was still paying for it and forgotten.

If it wasn't for Rocket Money, I never would have even figured it out. So shout out to them. They help. If you're money dumb like me, Rocket Money can help. So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with RocketMoney. Go to RocketMoney.com slash well-read today. That's rocketmoney.com slash well, R-E-D.

Rocketmoney.com slash well-read. And we thank them for sponsoring this episode of the podcast. They're the... Yeah, boy! Drew don't hit. He don't hit.

Drew don't hit. He don't hit. Remix. He don't hit. He don't hit. He don't hit. Drew don't hit. I mean, I do.

I will. He still don't hit. He don't hit. He don't head. What is going on, silly butts? It's your boy. The show. This is where we're about to be.

August 7th, Los Angeles, California. August 9th, Irvine, California. Then we're off to Las Vegas, Albuquerque, New Mexico, Boulder, Colorado, Richmond, Virginia, Cleveland, Ohio, Columbus, Ohio, Toledo, Ohio, Goshen, Indiana, Indianapolis, Indiana, Louisville, Kentucky, Providence, Rhode Island,

Idaho, Idaho, Falls, Idaho, Idaho, Boise, Idaho, Idaho. and a whole shit ton of other places. If you want to know where we're going to be, it's easy. Just go to well-readcom. W-E-L-L-R-E-D comedy.com. Spelled it just like the podcast.

That's where you can get ticket information, merchandise. Our book, The Liberal Redneck Manifesto, Dragon Dixie out of the dark. Subscribe to our newsletter, because if you subscribe to our newsletter, you will get pre-sale information and such. And tickets before they sell out.

What type of pre-sale information? You ask, well, sign up for the newsletter because today, well, this is actually going to come out a little earlier because I'm getting it done on Tuesday. But Wednesday, this Wednesday, our newsletter is going to come out and we have a huge announcement that you will be the first to know up. So sign up for the newsletter, all that good stuff. This portion of the podcast, as always, brought to you by our friends at smokyboysgrilling.com. Go to smokyboysgrilling.com to get all the rubs. for all your meats. And as always, like I've said,

you don't have to just put it on meat. You could put it in your sipping broth. That's what I just did. Had some organic chicken broth with some hog dust in it, and it was dope. So have that. Hller at Smoky BoysGriling.com. Tell them that we sent you and that we love you.

And anyways, thank you for listening to the podcast, subscribing, downloading, and telling your friends. We will see you next time. And more importantly, we'll see you out there on the road. this is the show and I love you skew I don't hit I desperately

I don't hit I desperately don't hit I ain't there no more yeah because my first couple days like when I decide I'm not going to be drinking I also decide, all right, let's be good with everything. And I'll, you know, I'll eat good, I'll feel good, and everything will be fine. And then about that ninth day, all of a sudden I'm like, I need a sandwich.

Then I eat the sandwich. I'm like, I need some pizza. And I'll be like, I need to toast. I need it. And I'm just like, God damn, I've made a whole loaf of bread. It's day two for me. I've learned. You know, I've been drinking this whole time we've been here?

I haven't been drinking since. You've been fine to be around. From New York. Really? And the second day of, you know, of not drinking. Wait. I needed.

You weren't drinking in Washington? So I meant Washington. I was counting that as one trip. Okay. Yeah. All right. Buddy. That's what I was.

I was like, dog, you really hit it well. No. Yeah. And so I've just been eating bread. Craving it. Y'all ever done that keto shit or anything like that?

I tried it for one week. And at the end of that week, I gave in and I swear to God, I ate like two whole sleeves of just crackers. Yeah. And the shrapers of milk. We got this habachi shit. and all the rice that comes with it.

I ate my rice and Katie's and two sleeves of crackers. It's like my body was just like. Well, your brain needs it. Right. But with the idea of it. You're supposed to get past that though, right? Like, you get past the cravings and all that. So I've done it almost accidentally.

I stopped drinking and I hadn't been on bread. And about the only thing I was eating carbwise was rice sometimes and tortilla chips. And that's when I melted. Remember the beginning of this tour? I weighed like 168 pounds. Yeah, I look at pictures of it all the time and laugh. Yeah, it's a, that's, I was smaller than I was in college playing football. Like I was really?

More ripped looking or whatever. Yeah. It's the carb that I melted, but they say you only get that once. Like if I did it. In your whole life. They say that like the, God damn it. All the carb diets only work one time. In terms of melting, you can lose weight, but in terms of that first meltdown,

because your body freaks the fuck out and it's, it's not great for your body. I already had mine. Did it feel bad? No. While it was happening? I think, partially. Because I felt, because there's a thing called keto flu, they say. Yeah.

I had that, and that's what made me break. I was like, fuck this shit. I felt so bad. Then ate a shit load of carbs and shit, and it felt better and stayed fat. Yeah, I mean, that's your brain wanting that shit. But anyway, you will get over it, but your brain needs, but what people say is go on that, lose some weight, and then work like fruit back into your diet. And, you know, 20 carbs a day is plenty for your brain.

That's another thing I do when I stop drinking is eat strawberries and watermelon like a motherfucker. sugar and carbs yeah so I'm saying sugar is carbs right yeah it turns in carbs turns into sugar we remember when we found out that beer and sugars what am i trying to say chemical symbols what the fuck is chow what's the word chemical formula yeah I mean obviously there's numbers I posted that on the internet and all these people like there's a four and a six in there and I'm like yeah I'm talking about the letter spell and chow a lot of other people were also like yeah you know you remember like it was like that was because it's It's carbohydrates or sugars or whatever or something. We've never needed to know the chemical makeup, you fucking nerds.

Like you just. Not so hydrate. Where's the O at? Idiots. Yeah. Fucking morons on Twitter. Uh, yeah. So yeah.

No, I'm, yeah, you just, he, the reason we get started on this is that he got a sandwich. Yeah. He got an eight and eat half and save for later. A steak sandwich too. It was thick. Son, he didn't even look up. Just fucking.

I couldn't. that Mike's steak that we was going to get last night, but we did. How was it? It was good. I had a bite of it. And also, like, even before halfway through, I knew what was happening. Oh, yeah. You always said.

And I just didn't care. That's me. A whole personal bag of Doritos. Every meal, every time. Halfway through, I know what's happening and I just don't care. You knew what this was. I still do. Yeah.

What I've done. I know what I've done. Speaking of people taking care of themselves and hitting and shit, I wanted to give a shout out to my girl, Brittany. We're talking earlier. My God. You've seen Britney Spears lately, son? Me and him were talking about her last week.

I did not. I saw her on a Pepsi can. That's why me and him were talking about her last week. She's killing it? Yeah. I know she was in a sketch with Jimmy Found because I saw a headline and I wanted to click on it, but I was nervous that she was nuts. Nope. I watched it.

It was great. I found out about it. I love her. Brittany, we love you. We love you, but then. We hit for you. On the front page of Reddit last night, there was this short video from one of her recent concerts. We're like Justin Timmelike, but uglier.

and less talented. And, yeah, infinitely so. In both of those. But she's up on stage and the beat comes on and then it drops out and then you hear this loud, flamboyant male voice from the crowd go, who is it? And she starts, and then she, like, she cracks up on stage as clear as she hears it. She, like, laughs. Then she gets herself back together quickly.

She goes, it's Britney bitch. And the guy. I love it. And then you hear that same voice go, yeah! And then a gunshot And it was all over. And yeah, video hits and it went viral yesterday.

But I saw it and I was like, this is Britney Spears like right now. I've known she's been hitting, but I didn't realize that she was in fucking the comment. Like she's in the problem of her life in my opinion. In the comment sections, there were people like I guess on her Instagram and stuff,

she'd be sharing like workout videos of her working out and stuff. And dude, she looks as good as she ever has. Better. That's awesome, man. All that shit. Brittany went through. Oh, yeah.

That's one of the most famous. She's come back from it. That's one of my favorite things. That shit ain't easy to do, man. People say it all the time, but I still love it every time I say it. Every time I see it is like, look, if Brittany can get through 2007, you can get through this. Because she went through some shit. Absolutely.

And by the way, ball-headed, ball-headed Britney? Still good to me. I liked it all. Speaking of her losing her goddamn mind, I feel like that was the first, you know, y'all know Timberlake hits for me, Supreme. But I feel like he was a little dushy about all that. I don't remember. where he stood on that. She had cheated on him, and that was true, and then he just...

Rote Crimey a River. Roked Crimey River, raked her over in the media. She started falling apart. He offered no, like, you know, no, nothing. There was no, like, hope she's okay or anything publicly. To the girl who cheated on him? Yeah, but she, I mean, you know... Dog. I can't blame my mask. Guys, y'all trying to tell me you don't think Justin Timberlitt was cheating on Britney Spears? I'm not saying that, but we don't know that shit. I'm just saying, even if he was, then we're even. well here's the thing i didn't feel any negative feelings towards him then then when a janet jackson thing

went down now that didn't stand up for her at all i was like that's way different you know what i wonder if this shit about my girl brittany was true i think those are just you're right on that one that's absolutely a valid argument i think there's two completely different things right like dog you you cheat on me fuck you i mean you go have you shave your head bald have a melt down but you know he or not pulled her teddy out and then left it at that i bought him I've always said that. Now, that's something that Corey Forster's been running on the whole time he's been Man.

If you pull her titty at, you own up to that shit. You don't leave it at that. Stand by your gland. Your mammary gland? Yes. Stand by your gland. That is. Cans, what'll have work?

Stand by your cans. I didn't have time, but yeah. Yams. Yams, yeah. Glenn worked in a pension. No, it did work. I'm just thinking of all the things we can. I just like thinking of all the things you call tities.

Son, all right. Let's go. Does it have to rhyme with that? Banzumbas is one of my favorite. Oh, so it doesn't have to rhyme with that. No. I don't know. My favorite is still Titties.

Yeah. Titties will never be beat. No, Titties is the best. I liked chesticles a lot when I was younger. Chesticles did hit because it was clever, but it's still ain't just titties. No. Fun bags. Fun bags, boobets.

Dairy pillows. You ever heard that one? I have not. I've never heard that. I'm going to buy Corey one for Christmas, though. Yeah, I like dairy pillows. That's good. sweater kittens that was a wrestling thing or I don't know it started wrestling but you remember

they uh they or no puppies remember sable we're all over the place I love it I got we got we got show overload going on right now wrestling sweaters titties puppies ah of course I'm right you remember sable yes she referred to hers as either the kittens or the puppies sweater sweater kittens sweater I know no sweater puppies it was put because jr I don't or no here's some sable she's got a sweater puppy Like the puppies are coming out. And gold dust is very gay. And they never came out.

I cannot believe that it took them that long to add women to wrestling. Yeah. It seems like that's a year three move where they go, wait a minute. By the way, glow, based on a real story, right? I don't know. I don't know. No, it is. I know it is.

Do you watch it? I know it. I watched a little bit of it. I've heard good things, but I love it. Bro, I know it is because there's, there was a very large Samoan woman who was very popular. on the TV show that Glow is based on. They did get their own TV show, and her name was Mount something.

Mount something? Yeah, like Mountain. Oh, that's a wrestling night? Yes, and she was, there was a documentary about her. God damn, I watched it out. That's why I don't remember it all. Man, I'm blowing this. That's okay.

Y'all should look into it. We'll circle back. You'll come back to you. It was a really good documentary, and it was about her life and them getting back together for a reunion and then bringing her and how she was like, just one of those people,

kind of like Andre the Giant, honestly, where her personality was just so, it would overtake a room in a positive way, you know? My dad used to call him yaboos. I've never heard anybody else say that. Boobes? Yaboes? Yeah, it'd be like, man,

great a set of yaboes on that one over there. Huh. That's, uh, that's like, that's probably somehow anti-Semitic and I didn't know it. No, I think when he was little, like his dad was like, look at him boy, and he was like, Yabo! Yabo!

Yabo's right there. That's how Dabo Sweeney got his name, and I just said that as a joke, and then looked it up, and it is how Dabo Sweeney got his name. Dabo? Yeah. I was like, somebody was like, that means that boy, and it was his older brother couldn't say his name. Dabo Sweeney is that frog riding a unicycle.

He's that boy. So the most ridiculous thing, when I was, right after college, the cats I went to Australia with, they all went to high school together, so they had had this for a while. And what they would do is if a girl walked by or whatever, and they wanted to alert you, we're going to get raped for this so bad, I just realized. I was literally just sitting here thinking, I'm going to have to put out a disclaimer. during my first portion of this that I swear we won't keep talking about tithy. And also, you know, we were 20, but they would walk by whatever, and they would all go,

which like, at first it was like, subtle, I like it. Well, at first, it was like, playing, playing at low key so nobody knows. At first the game was, the game was, the first the game was, and it was like, if anybody went, that means there's tities about, that means to be looked at. I mean, but it devolved into, ah! I'm going to say, before you go down with your own ship, I still be humming y'all when it's titties. Sure.

But that's like evolution, dude. I don't even mean to do that. Like, that's a third arm to me. You see some tities and, yeah, your throat tickles. I'm sorry, what do you mean a third arm? What is that about? It's just, it's just a, I meant like, it's like, you know, somebody's like your right arm.

It's just a part of you. It's like an extension of your muscle, muscle memory or whatever. I thought you meant that you knew something about evolution and third arms, and I really wanted to know what your theory was. No, I just genuinely believe that whenever now you see a big, pair of tities, your throat itches. You're thirsty. Yeah.

Yeah, exactly. How else are you? I don't know. But no, y'all are fine. Y'all was 20. It was Australia. Shit's different. It's Cucoburras.

I guess. Dude, almost everybody likes tities, man. Of course they do. Titties just hit. Girls that ain't just hit. Lesbians like tities. Amber Poy.

They ain't nothing sex is or shitty about saying that titty's hit. Titties just hit. I don't think everybody knows that they hit yeah and I'm not even whatever son I don't I don't I feel like you're arguing people a long time ago okay but you guys are arguing with me like I I don't feel like I'm not I wasn't arguing with you at all I was saying don't go down with your own shit because you were like I'm gonna get raked over the colds fist I was like I'm saying it's not also I'm backing you up okay a sweater puppy throat clear is fine sure especially if they're so big that like it's

like you come on like we got to talk about this look at that you know I mean I'll be doing with my mama. I don't care of mama. Look at these tithies. I thought you meant something very different. Right. I didn't. Sable.

We talked about it was tetties. The end. That's also a very corey. Just like how we got started here, which was, you know, I've always said if you pull a titty out, stand by your gland. Actually, you were going to use Sable as a transition point, and I was just trying to help you out.

Yeah. And now that we're here, we can. And I genuinely, though, in the middle of all this last shit we've been doing, I had the thought like, I don't know if we want to. Not for any shitty reason. That's what you're talking about tidies and you didn't want to shift gears. I also just, I just didn't know. Stand by your gland. I had, in my mind, opted to not be the one to shift into wrestling.

But we can fuck with wrestling if I want to. Yeah. I'd love to. What was the conversation we were having on the couch? It was what we were talking about, we were talking about, we were talking recently about, video games and how wrestling video games used to hit and neither of us had played a wrestling video game in a long time.

You wanted to know whether you should treat wrestling with your kids like Santa Claus. Yes. Well, how do you treat Santa Claus? Because I don't, I let him believe that he's real. Okay. And I'll defend the fuck out of that

by the way. You know what I mean? Yeah, I, I mean, I'm, I expected you to be not this passionate about it, to be honest. what do you mean i kind of did too but i'm i'm fine with what you're saying no no what's like such a logical he's a santa's just an allegory for god yeah that's really yes dude yes he is santa is literally

training wheels for god that's all it is kids can't understand his name is st nicholas lord i couldn't disagree with him anymore he's a way to manipulate kids into being good because you'll get this prize the gift is heaven they can't understand these concepts i am the most godless motherfucker you'll ever meet and christmas and santa claus for you santa claus all right so much santa claus all hiss for me. I know. But that doesn't mean that Corey's wrong. No, that's all it is. Everything is God with you crazy-ass motherfuckers that grow up in the church. Santa is like, Santa, like, Santa, like, the story was invented by the church for this reason. Listen to me, Santa, like God, is a lie told by people to control other people. With parents, Santa is a lie to get their kids to be good all

year so that they don't get a lump of coal, something that would be in hellfire, by the way. Santa doesn't... Let me finish that thought just real quick before you. That doesn't mean that it's bad though. No, hell no it ain't bad. I love believing Santa.

My kids are going to believe in Santa too. That ain't what I'm saying. I'm just saying him being surprised at you being this passionate about Santa. I get it. Because you were a very logical person. At least in America, Santa is a part of like

childhood, innocence and childhood. So is Jesus. No, it's not necessarily. Why? It wasn't part of my fucking childhood. You were never innocent. Yeah, you were never innocent. Your innocence was lost.

Yeah. The day your mama named you after what she does drugs off of. Santa was one of a few things about it that hit. That's what I'm saying. Well, then hang on to it. By the way, this is more proof that this is God for you. This is one goddamn thing I had when that shitty childhood, and I'm hanging on to it, by God. Yeah, I don't know.

I mean, I'm sure. You're fine thing. I've literally just always, that's how it's always been a man. I was like, oh, kids couldn't, you can't tell a four-year-old you're going to burn in hell because they can't concede that. How do we get them to show? Shut the fuck up. I know. Tell them if they're bad. Santa's, better not watch out. You better not cry. Tell them this dude's watching. People have been doing that with folk tales and like, and folklor monsters and shit since before fucking Jesus or God.

This was a folk tale and a folk monster. People have to get their gifts to. You're not disprove of me. I never said Santa was the only one. Yes. And also you do you equated it directly to God immediately. I just said it's. But folktales and monsters are also related to and very tied up with God in cultures. I just said it was analogous. I mean, if you look at the examples of similar stories to Jesus in folklore, Greek mythology, in the Indian and Eastern cultures, it's always religious. And I'm not, again, that doesn't make it bad to me.

I just feel like it's. I think Santa's awesome. Borderline, inarguable, that Santa Claus was created in conjunction with the church. Santa ain't ever. Santa ain't ever. Santa ain't ever made nobody do no bad shit, whereas the Bible did. But it's all to me was it was like, how to. control these kids. As soon as you're smart, you stop believing in them. So it's in many ways not as

dangerous as God. It's not as dangerous as God. We're saying it's tied up in it. So had you been like, fuck that out of him like that. Santa's one of my favorite motherfuck. That ain't where this was going. I'm sorry you thought that that ain't what I meant. All I was saying was I always thought Santa was the training wheels to then, all right, you were good and we're going to be present. But now you have to be good or you'll burn to death. I'm saying I think that that a lot of what y'all have said, yeah, I grant you it. It all makes sense. What you just said, I've always felt like Santa was the training wheels for prepping a kid for do behave the way I say you're supposed to or you'll burn in hell. I'm saying I don't believe that and also feel like I'm fucking proof of that because I'm all about Santa and ain't got shit to do with training them to fucking.

But I'm all about Santa too and I hate the Bible. That's what I'm saying. Your response to something doesn't in any way prove the intent of it, A and B. This is the first time you've ever even thought about it. I'm not arguing that it's training wheels related to hell. I'm saying those both come from the same place. Okay, that's what I'm... That's...

Okay. That was been a better way for me to say it. All it is, is how can we lie to control a thing? And the Bible was that, and then Santa, admittedly, a way better version of that is, just tell him this fucking fat dude in the sky is watching, you know, all their shit. And if they do this, they don't even know which one he's talking about. Y'all don't believe in the magic of Christmas. Yes, son.

Son. No, don't you do that. I'm the non-Christian, and y'all don't believe in the next for Christmas. Me and you was telling the other day about how one of my... I'll leave my Christmas tree up year round. I decorated it Halloween with spiders. What I said the other day about the only, like the main thing. Got a goddamn Halloween tree.

You ever have one of them? No, because you're poor. You never have any trees. Except the one that he took off the window of the car to rub under his armpits. Me and Amber is like one of our first, one of our first like, oh God, you know, the honeymoon phase was over basically with amber was during a Christmas she told you Santa wasn't real no when no hilarious when I wanted I wanted to watch Muppet Christmas Carol the favorite movie not just Christmas movie favorite of all time

greatest movie everybody I wanted to she's like no I was like what Muppet Christmas Carol you get I found out the thing that hurt me the most is she didn't like the Muppets in general which like Jesus Christ but then I started talking I was it is it coach because you don't like the Muppets she's no I don't like Christmasy shit like that like all this I like listening to Christmas music. I play it all the time, and it don't hit for her. No, I'm all about the whimsical magic. I am not surprised by this story about Amber at all, and I'm shocked that you were.

Again, this was, honey, you know, nothing, she was perfect in my eyes at this time. Big Tated, well, big-titted blonde saw it. That is perfect. We all have different perceptions of perfection. Yeah, exactly. but no dude bro i love christmas like to a fault i'm a goddamn child look at me i love christmas i also love christmas because i am a very um what's the word sentimental person in spite of how cynical i also am yeah and my family always gets together i love it and those australia boys i was just reverend

one of the best but also hardest christmas i ever had was the only one i've spent away from my family we were in australia we were on the beach and we made the news because we took a christmas tree down to the beach and set it up down there and we went surfing in Santa Claus hats and we got our butts out and took pictures of our butts. Lord, you used to be the show, buddy. You even start, when you start talking about a time in your life where you were the show, you accidentally start, you get my, way down there, you know, grandma boy, you get the cadence, the whole like, yeah, I know a guy down there. It's amazing. It's almost as if this narrative you guys have created where I don't hit and I'm not fun is a lie. It's almost as if that's the case. No, you definitely used to hit. sure yeah we'll leave it to that you really hit it talking about how much you used to hit you are great at that guarantee it for me santa claus and my boys has absolutely less than nothing to do with god it's the whimsical magic of christmas shit of course that's another thing i'm not saying you're using it like that okay so anyway

yeah they they believe in santa claus and i'm allowing that to happen until they get i i until however yeah like the pick a moment and tell them. No, yeah, they'll figure it out. And I'm not going to lie to them when they do figure it out. Right, of course. I have a question related to that. Does the health on the shelf it for you?

Because I fucking hate that thing. No, we don't fuck with that. Katie bought it one year, but we never fucked with it. It's way more, man, it's like that Lewis Black joke about Scientology and the Catholic Church. He's, uh, it's on that Paul Provenza Green Room show, I think. They're talking about Scientology and someone goes, yeah, we fucking. It's new.

And that's what he says. He's like, okay, yeah, Catholic's weird, but, you know, it's old they got old books they dress it up there's a dude in a fucking pointy hat they've got a tradition i'm saying like elf on the shelf it absolutely feels manufactured now because it is and santa's the thing but like there was a certain point where santa felt like what the fuck is this shit dude we don't we don't fuck with it but that shit hits real real hard for a lot of kids and so that makes it okay to me i don't think there's anything like malicious in it like they get into it i'm with you i'm with you i'm with you in the idea of like yeah it's

for the kids and the kids like it. But I have had cousins and friends and whatnot with kids talk about it turning bad. I don't remember all the rules. And what, what? There's a shitload of rules. You forget to do it one night because you're tired or whatever. And the kid didn't think of it either. And the next day, the kid is like, we didn't do it.

And now Christmas is ruined and blah, blah, blah. And like, you have to do it every night according to the story. You know what I'm saying? Dude, just don't do Santa. Santa's, oh, geez. Santa's like, be a good kid. oh I was mean to my brother and now I'm afraid

well then just don't do it apologize to your brother right no actually I mean now that you say that or make up another lie I totally see how elf on the shelf could go south

if you and your old lady drink a little too much wine one night and forget to do whatever your stuff and then the kid wakes up the next morning and like freaking the fuck out right because yeah I can see that and I can say we've just never fucked with it

I'd have a barbie I'd have the elf fucking bent over a G.I. Joe because I got hammered and didn't have to have a whole of it for you. It hit for me so hard. But the question I asked Corey really love each other. The question I asked Corey earlier tonight was. Don't ask twice. Don't tell. We were talking about this wrestling video game we're going to buy when it comes out.

And I said, yeah, the Rick Flare, the, WWE, Rick Flare edition. WWWW.W.E. 2K.19. Woo! Woo! And how we were going to buy it. And I said, I'm going to use that as an entree. into pro wrestling for my boys because I'll play that game with them because we like to play video games together and that'll be how I get into it and then I and I'm pumped about that I'm

very pumped about that. I've been pumped about will hit getting back into wrestling with them since they were fucking born so I'm excited but then I asked Corey how you think I should treat pro wrestling do you think I should take a Santa approach to it or what? Yes. Meaning obviously how do I act in terms of it being. real or not. Because when I was,

we talked about this earlier off mic, when I was a kid and was super, super into wrestling, buddy, I believed it. And I know my dad used to watch it with me and I, he just let it ride. Like he's still here for now.

He let me believe it. That's why he could enjoy it. He was watching it with his kid. Right. He liked watching you believe it. But he didn't, he didn't like. That's how I feel about love.

I know. So, what do you think I should do, Drew? Treat it like Santa. You should definitely just let them believe it until they don't believe it. Just watch it with them. Now, here's what's going to be difficult is when one of them figures out it's fake. And it's like, it's the HRAL and blah, blah, blah, blah.

You know, because they go through that, not all of them, but a lot of them go through that phase where they find knowledge. They have to, you know, and it's your kid, so it's definitely going to be that. It's weird. They've already, like, they both are full, all in on Santa, but they both, like, just came out to gate not having none of that tooth fairy bullshit. Bishop just lost his first tooth. You know, and they were both like, we still got, we still gotten to put the tooth out on the pillow and we gave him some money or whatever. For me, because I wanted to use that as a way to start teaching him about money, right? But like, they were both to the truth that all of our folk tales and fairy tales are meant to control us and assimilate us to a society that is evil based on capitalism.

But that's the shit you need to know. For sure. For sure. But, like, but anyway, they were just like, tooth fairy. That's not real. Like, just immediately, like, there's no tooth fairy. And I was just like, well, you know, put it in there to see what happens. It's like Santa.

Oh, fuck yeah. It's the newest one. It's the newest one. It is the newest one. Easter bunny's the dumbest in my face. Without a doubt. I think Valentine's Day is the newest. Tooth Fairy is the creepiest.

Yeah. What is that bitch doing with them teeth? There ain't nothing you need teeth for that isn't fucking weird and creepy as hell. Unless you're making dentures. Also, if the tooth fairy was real, there wouldn't be a poverty issue in Appalachia. I'm sorry. And I was just saying that because we'd all have $14. Right.

Exactly. Right. Yeah. But anyway, yeah, and I think that's what I'm going to do when it comes to wrestling. Just let them, let it ride. Well, I said, this is what I said earlier. Just off the bat being like, because I mean, I assume they'll ask me about, you know, because like to say they like a guy and he gets knocked the fuck out with a chair.

That's what happened to me? Or whatever. Just say he'll get back up. Right. Yeah. Yeah, that's what they said to me by Owen Hart. No, he was dead. I know.

That was real. I know. But what I'm saying is, the reason we were having this conversation is because rest and peace. Yeah, for sure. What happened to me was that the reason and why I got told that wrestling was fake is because my parents had to do it to calm me the fuck down because I was losing my mind cursing.

Whatever words I knew in fifth grade, I sang them. I was running around the house screaming, losing my fucking mind. They can't do this to Goldberg. They tased him. You can't. Daddy, they tased him. The ref wouldn't even look, and I'm losing my... His undefeated streak is over.

And dad finally just shut me up and say, man, you've always defended the Jews. Always. Been saying it. No. Oh, yeah, about... Oh, God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. About how there ain't none left.

Yeah. Yes, you have. God damn it, that's first ballot Hall of Fame story. So, yeah, that, I mean, and it sucked. And you said earlier, that was like a watershed... For sure. It changed everything for you. Of course it did.

See, mine was much more gradual. Like, I was telling you... You just got to learn. I got to this point where I started in my head being like, I don't know about this shit. That was me and God. But then on the surface. surface, I was like in denial about it. No, it's real.

It's real. But like inside I had this kernel of this shit ain't real. And that just gradually got bigger and bigger until I finally just stopped fucking. Yeah, I was pitching a fit. So I had to be told that it wasn't real. And then that, you know, it fucked it up for me. I don't remember a moment. I just faded and lost interest.

No, me too. There was no specific moment. But then I swung back that. That was like early. That was like, you know, sixth grade or so. and I was out of it for a few years and then my little cousin Jared, he's the only one,

he's who I played video games with. He was three years younger than me. He was always into it, even after he realized it was fake, he was just super into it. And when the NWO started coming around, it was so cool, I just had to get back into it.

And then that was when also Sting was doing the crow thing. Yeah, those flames. Oh, dude, we have talked about this. Reading more about that, about how he came up in the hit in this period. And the NWS stuff, yeah. We talked about it when we had. Yeah, dude, all these old heads say anything different.

We were the perfect age in the perfect era for pro wrestling to hit. My mom, literally tonight, my mom texted me later than she usually would. It was like 940. I was like, oh, mom's up. I'll call her. I was waiting to get my sandwich. I thought this wasn't a thing. Okay.

Just so you. Oh, it's just a cigarette? She's nicotine, yeah. Oh, well, still hits for me, but I definitely thought I was getting high. So, anyway, I called her and talked to her. My six-year-old niece is into wrestling. Hell yeah. She was, like, insisting they take.

her this weekend. She's still all sass? Yes. And she's super athletic. She's the one that fucking comes at your dad and he can't say shit about it? Yes. Tells him to shut up to his face. I love that shit.

Having Matt Doug Morgan, it really hits for me. They can't take her to wrestling this weekend because they have to go visit her daddy into prison. So she already has the best wrestling backstory. So I feel like she's going to make it. Yeah. Little poop. Yeah.

So I'm looking forward to that. Yeah, man. We know Conrad. We know her pregnant. oh yeah that that ain't that ain't nothing right there what we do get back into wrestling me conrad or whatever like oh yeah we got a we got a buddy fucking in fucking end yeah i'm gonna talk to him about it uh when we's in vagus we need to go to fucking resslmania yeah i'm in i'm fucking in when is when is wrestling man it's same time as march madness right i say that because

I know. My buddy Charles, who y'all know, one day I remember the Valls got beat in the Sweet 16 by Michigan State. And Undertaker Loss? And the Undertaker Loss at WrestleMania that night. And Charles literally was up there

like further away. He was supposed to be staying that night. Undertaker Loss, he stood up and he goes, worst goddamn day in my fucking life. Walked out, got in his truck, and drove the fuck home. Just left. Drove two hours away.

back to his hometown. The Undertaker's rain. Wait, two hours. I'm pretty sure the first time you told me his story he left Miami. No, he went to that. Okay.

That was the Royal Rumble in Miami. He once drove from Dunlap, Tennessee, uh, to my, drove with his buddy to Miami to the Royal Rumble, watched it, got back in the truck, drove straight back to Dunlap.

Hey, speaking of the Undertaker. That's like a fucking 30-something hour round trip. That's so fucking great. No, this was just we were watching on TV. After we'd already watched the Vals, get beat. Right. And he just,

he was devastated. Speaking of the undertaker, his fictitious brother, Kane, is he still a thing? Yeah, he's running for mayor. He's running for mayor. And it was one of those things where he was by

far the most hidden conservative. But now that he's debating just against the liberal. It's like, oh yeah, he's still a little crazy. So he'll win. I always heard him. He used to have a weekly segment on

Knoxville Sports Radio, or they could call in. And he always seemed like a pretty reasonable, obviously they're not talking about politics on there, but it always used to crack me up because, so for everybody listening, the Undertaker's brother in the wrestling world, Kane, who hit from me? His name is Glenn Jacobs,

and he's from Knoxville, Tennessee, and his family's kind of prominent there. They've got an insurance business and all this shit. And so he had this weekly segment on sports radio in Knoxville, and it always cracked me up because every time he'd call in, they would always, they'd just be having this very like rational, reasonable discussion about sports in general and also wrestling, but they treated all the lore like it was 100% true. So they would be like, so your brother's got a big match coming up this weekend. Obviously, how are you feeling about that?

And he's not like in character really, but still doing the cave. Because his character didn't talk. Exactly. Yeah, that was like the most supreme hitting thing. Now he was so terrified. I read this story. I just remember this. I read this story about him that I hope.

and I believe in my heart is true. I got an undertaker story. I read it on the internet and it was a kid talking about winning a contest to have dinner with Kane, WWF superstar Kane, at his family's house. So Kane comes over to their house or whatever and they've got this nice family dinner set out. Kane comes in in full Kane regalia. Terrifying. Mask on just looking like the angel of it.

death comes in there sits down at the table back straight the whole time never speaks or acknowledges anyone the entire house yeah and uh i don't know because they said he had the mask on he had a hole in it but he never talked right but he just he never spoke to or acknowledged any of them it was there for hour hour and a half whatever got up walked out probably weren't even like they tried talking to him but that is just fucking amazing so i want to say this before you tell your undertechers story because mine's quick okay hey buddy commit to the bit they're all This is so raving and how fucking stupid I am. So I just talking about fifth grade, I find out wrestling's not real.

And I just know that. And I'm like, how fuck I'm done with it. Maybe five or six years ago. I just sat up in bed randomly and just went, oh shit, Kane ain't Undertaker's brother. I swear to God, I swear it on my fucking life. That really happened. I'm an idiot. No, buddy, I totally buy that.

It's not a story as much as just like a red craze. You know the part of the Bible? Try, you're out on this one. You know the part of the Bible? He's got him left. He's going to get more wine. Yeah, which is very Bible-like. Hey, well, you get me somebody?

You know them parts of the Bible where it just lists people's lineage? Yeah, the Bagat. Yeah, the Bagat part? Yeah, this is my red credit version of that. This ain't a story, but this is just some be-gots. My dad's best friend Redbeard, whom he worked on the railroad with, and they used to sell weed together, and that's how he almost lost his job. The first time.

Peace, Redbeard? Nope. Okay. Barely. And that's how Dad lost his job the first time he had to go in front of the union board on the railroad. It was selling weed. Red Beard's niece is married to The Undertaker. Nice.

Dad went to Undertaker's wedding. What? Yeah, he's from Kentucky. Your dad went to Undertaker's wedding. I just kind of processed that. That's insane. How do you not pull? That just seems like something.

That's another. It just runs so deep for me, son. Just forget about it. I mean, because that's some serious credentials. He don't know him. He went to the wet, you know what I mean? It doesn't hit.

That's why I said it. I meant me and Drew are sitting on a bench together, and I just got up, went over there and got the wine and came back, and I saw him doing it, but didn't even really think about it, and just realized that Drew has just gotten naked. Yeah, he's naked. Yeah. He's got his box briefs on.

Them hit. I bought these today. Oh, yeah. I'm about to anoint his feet with oils. Ooh. We're getting very spiritual up in here. Okay. Wait, since we're talking about

Knoxville, politics. Anoint your feet with oils. Oh, I thought you meant getting spiritual. That was like, come on. That was a sign of service. And Mary Magdalene Hor would anoint Jesus' feet with... That's the same thing as washing the feet.

She was washing feet with tears, actually, I'm pretty sure. That's true. She also did, no, it was oils too. And then it's oil? No, she did with tears. It was never supposed to be tears. That's like the beautiful metaphor for things. No, it was tears when he was being crucified.

I know about watching his feet. But on the reg, she'd be washing his feet. Because I heard about this, you know, this Hitton Pope, we've God, apparently he goes out and wash his feet. That's a thing. It's a sign of service. Okay, but that's the same as oil. Like, those are the same thing.

You wash the feet, need you put the oil on. Do you realize where this is going is him trying to get you to wash his feet? We might as well stop right now. I've been wanting to wash his feet for a while. Somebody needs to do. Just real quick, since we're talking about Knoxville Politics. This is who's been hitting me up on Twitter. I'm going to go see him speak on Monday.

But I'll shout him out now just to say that he is Edward Nelson running for state rep in the district of Knoxville. He's the only Democratic candidate, according to him, and some people I've heard in the news lately that scared the Republicans in that district in a long time. He's a third-generation Navy vet. Is he black? Nope. His name's Edward Nelson. Yeah, so he has a chance in the South. Sabat True in Knoxville. I'm going to go hear him speak, and I will report back on, because, you know, I tell him, he's like, how about an endorsement? I'm like, well, buddy, I don't know anything about you other than you're a dim, and I ain't one of them people. But then I start thinking about it, and I go, he's definitely going to be better than whoever he's

running against though for sure by the way my joke did not land so i'd like everybody to know that i wasn't just curious if this guy was black you said he's the only they're scared of him right all right right they're scared of test like oh he's black is he's that i thought you were wondering about i thought the joke was about him not having a chance no no no you said he's the only democrat that scared republicans in this district and i said is he black because that was they'd be scared i got it now i'm sorry people are terrifying to white people do do do do do do do do do do do do do do did you do the white people face? Show me.

No, because that's an acknowledgement of someone else's existence. So if everybody listening, it's become a thing on the internet, and it was one of those things where I read it and I was immediately like, God damn it, I absolutely fucking do that. But black people Twitter and elsewhere on the internet, they've determined that there's this official white person

acknowledging. I told you it's just Bryce's face. Producer Bryce, rest in peace. Producer Bryce, and 90% of the pictures of him, it's just the face he's making. Yeah. It's a fucking podcast. People can't see it. But look it up.

It's like a half-smile thing. I'm going to share along with this. All white people do, along with this podcast, I'm going to share. That's one of those things that I have done jokingly, but then it's seeped into me doing it regularly, maybe. I just did it without thinking. And I never even thought about it. And then I saw that, and like I said, I was immediately like, God damn it, I do that. I don't think I do this.

You don't do it. but it's because... You're always staring down at the floor and nobody looks at you. And I'm also not like... Like, that face is like... I'm happy. We're all good here.

That's exactly what it is. Which is another thing that don't hit for me. Yeah, no, I don't be doing that, dude. How do you acknowledge people at all when you make contact eye contact with them? Because that's what that is for me. If I accidentally make eye contact with somebody... Show me.

All right. So I'm walking down the hall, so you got... I'll show you right now. It's producer Bryce's face. It's that. I may do that with what you're talking about. at tray i don't know what i do let me think while you're

while you're thinking about everybody listening at home if you could please uh whatever you got pour one out rest and peace rest in peace producer brice rest in peace producer brice his favorite song was homeboy by eric church truly tragic he was impelled by pogo stick Eric church who has

yeah that was a tragedy Eric church who has renounced the NRA oh yeah y'all were telling I haven't seen this you all just shouted out that he Bernie Sanders kind of hits for him. What's the context of that? Out of nowhere on Twitter he did it?

That's my understanding, but Cho told me. He finally got the right amount of money in his savings account. Right. As soon as I get to this number. He's rich enough to be a socialist. As soon as I get to this number, I'm going to tell the NRA and Dana Lois to suck my dick,

but not a penny less. Let me tell you that. I mean, dude, that's one of those things. It's like, no, it's, you got to have it. I said that. I felt bad for even saying what I just said. No, but what I was going to say is like, dude, almost all them motherfuckers really.

are on our side not the older ones charlie daniels obviously you know anybody that's drools in a while god that was so fun it's not that hard to understand why i'm not troll charlie dallas right now it's the easiest fucking thing in the world to me well you know friend of the podcast w r o'brown that's right we talked to he's been in that game for a long time he knows a shit load of people in the country music industry and i mean he straight up told me that it's like you know they're just about all liberals you know they can't but you know they know that they can't say that for the most part so they don't yeah they can obviously I agree

but I mean I get what their rationale is clearly but like when you told me that about Eric Churchill earlier I was like you know what his music ain't hit for me in years his very early shit did hit for me but he hasn't hit for me musically in a long time but that I respect the shit out of because it takes balls

to do that in his position man for sure because I mean like we said earlier in the green room that I just said a very generous conservative number I said that tweet or whatever it was he did cost at least a million dollars it's definitely more in ticket sales and endorsements and whatever the fuck so yeah balls he move glad he did it that's fucking awesome and i'm about probably about to put on his old record his first record which hit like a month it did hit like a motherfucker well see i think and i

said this earlier i feel like i mean yeah it's still going to cost him money no matter what but i feel like if he wants to he could now go back to hill turn the type of music he used to make and he could start hitting in that arena that not nearly as hard artistically but in that same arena that like isbel and sturgel and those guys exist right you know what i mean like he could yeah but that's not he could do well in that yes but that's like you know no offense to our boys but i mean and i mean i said that but money wise that and i mean i said that i gave that disclaimer sorry i was sorry i missed costing him a shitload of money he's not as much i missed the disclaimer because I went and trolled Charlie again.

I hadn't done it in a while. Charlie Downs, we'll see up to. Pretty pretty pretty. Well, he's still saying about Benghazi? Yeah, that's what I did, of course. Or Taco Bow. Every day he tweets that Benghazi ain't going away. Corey, I was thinking the other day, me and you should start doing that.

It's cool. I don't have to say it. Just talk about what you guys might do. That'd be fun. What are we doing? Today, he said what? No, it's from over. I want to hear it?

I want to hear it, too. No, you clearly didn't. I do, though. I want you guys make, guys make another song about how I don't hit. I heard that on the podcast. You're just going to give him credit for something I did. You're going to just be him. So you're going to do.

So you're doing. Well, I'm actually, he's the lyricist. In what? Oh, that's true. Yeah,

actually, that's right. Well, I was annoyed by it because I was like, well, people were tweeting about me not hitting. And I was like, well, I don't know what I did,

but okay. And then I listened to the podcast. I was like, oh, this was it. And I was annoyed because I was like, I didn't get a chance to respond. But then I was thinking, Corey spent time making a song about me,

so that kind of hits for me. There it is. Hey, don't hit. Just in case. I consider that a disc track. No. Yeah, so I know I got one coming back at you. Come on, baby.

It's called flying too close to the sunship. What did Charlie Day or say? No, man, that's past. God damn it. Well, he said what he always says. Benghazi ain't going away. It's literally because he keeps tweeting about it. It's only goddamn reason.

No, when he dies, that's what I'm going to say is Benghazi went away. Yeah, rest in peace, Benghazi. I was thinking about him doing that the other day, how he tweets every single day, Benghazi ain't going away. And I was going to tell you, Corey, that we should start doing that every day with Lorenzo Neal should be in the Hall of Fame. Ann. I'm fucking in.

Right now. I'm tweeting it right. Y'all going with yourself. I'm tweeting it right now because I won't remember. He'll do this four times. Well, it's equally futile. But, like, I'm as passionate about it as Charlie Daniels is about that stupid. Sadler Vaden was another day in Oasis still hasn't gotten back together.

Sadler does that every day. It's so fucking funny. It's so much funnier than fucking Charlie Dan. Damn it. Charlie, you piece of shit. It's the first thing I see when I wake up is Sallor Vaden say another day and Oasis has not gotten back together. What I replied to with was have you prayed and asked God to remove this burden from your life, Charlie. Now I understand what happened earlier and why you're mad and I'm sorry.

I thought you were just saying that that's what he tweeted. tweets every day and then I had a response, the thing I just did in reaction to what he tweets every day, I didn't know. Do you hear him say he was sorry? Put that shit on. You were then going to do. I mean, you still don't hit. He don't hit.

He don't hit. Drew don't hit. I'm sitting here on a bench. I'm sitting here on a bench in my underwear being told I don't hit by somebody who thinks Santa Claus is good. You don't hit. Santa Claus is good. That's true.

I think Santa Claus is good. I had nothing. You've just become me tonight. I know it. I don't know. You're hitting too hard, though. God damn daddy went to the Undertaker's... I almost said funeral.

Because it just felt, right? Yeah, Undertaker. It probably was funeral themed. He was in his fucking hat up there. Yeah. He won't say I do. He just nods his head. And then fucking D-D-Dase his wife.

That hit so hard. That's how he carried her across the threshold. He fucking stunnered her. Y'all remember fucking Paul Bearer? his guy his 100 guy hell yeah dude when was the last time

y'all actually watched a clip of Paul Bearer doing his Paul Bearer thing it's about two years ago it's been a minute it's something else buddy he a fat he a fat pale wasn't he fat pale

pinstripe suit everywhere pinstripe suit right he wore different suits as I recall but in suit fat pale carried a urn everywhere with him oh don't like me

yeah the rest one rules insane yeah it is saying. It's like Shakespearean in a way. I mean, we talked about this last time. It's like, it's theater. It's live theater. Absolutely. It's milk shakes.

I've heard people describe it as it's like it's soap operas for men. You know, like I, you know. I thought that was sports according to the, you know, jokes of the 80s or whatever. It's funny you say. No, I feel like it. It's wrestling way better because it's scripted and, you know. I remember who the fuck I was talking to the night, but I brought up you calling it Shakespeare because me and somebody and somebody were talking about wrestling.

They said it's like soap opera for man. And I said, interesting, Drew always says Shakespeare. And they were like, it's okay. Well, I can see that. Well, Shakespeare was very shed upon by the upper class a lot of ways. Yeah, right, for sure. It was low-brow shit at the time. Right.

He'd be talking about farts. And if you go back and look at the NWO storyline, it was fucking brilliant, man. Better Romeo and Juliet, bullshit. Oh, Romeo, who gives a fuck? Sting came out of the goddamn rafters and from underneath the fucking ring. That's incredible. What if in, like, 200 years they're going to have college courses his own Larry the Cable Guy's specials and stuff

and his body of work. I don't know why you try to make everybody upset, Trey. Everybody was in a good mood. Why, I'm just saying. If you said wrestling, but now you're talking about something different. I was just thinking about, it's wild to think about... Corey got called Larry the Cable Guy the other night. And then the next day I got tweeted that I was Ron White.

And then the next day, there was a disc track on the podcast. I wonder how that worked. First off, I stay getting called Larry the Cable Guy. It's like a whole thing. I take it, I know what they're saying. Like at first I was like, okay, but then they go of the this and I'm like, it would be so... You're just the cartoonist.

That's all they mean. I was getting to the point that used to would bother me a little bit because I thought, I'm like, well, Larry the Cabo guy was always the joke of the great, but the people that are saying it to me are saying it very loving. And I get it because, yeah, I'm over the top. A, I wear a hat, there's already that. I don't think he was the joke.

I think he was the relevant. joke. Okay, sure. He also was the breakout star. And the richest one. I know. That's what I got to in my head. I was like, oh, the dude got paid $20 million to voice a truck.

Fuck yeah, I'm that guy. That's totally fine. Because I was it wasn't an insult. I was like, hey, you're up there. Me and Earl, we're talking about it today via text. About me and Larry the Cable guy? No, but let me read because I think this is funny and you guys can make fun of me so it'll hit for y'all.

I was just calling him to. congratulate him. Our buddy W. Earl Brown, who we, didn't we just reference him a minute ago? He, among the things he's been in, he was in Deadwood, and that just got greenlit for a movie, so he's been pumped about it. And I call, I text him to congratulate you, and he said, thank you, get her done.

And I wrote always with like a, you know, laugh emoji or whatever. And he said, hey, that's a funny comedian premise. Make your own getter done. But just like, tell you honest, you're trying them out, and the joke being that all yours are too brandy and obtuse to fit on a Walmart T-shirt, so you're fear and so I started writing them let's accomplish our goals perpetuate your dreams execute your ambitions and then I said see and this is what you're just talking about

what's so if you're getting about Larry is he touched on one of our best secrets in the south we just talk better get her done is actually a fucking beautiful phrase it's awesome rolls off the goddamn time to time the beats are perfect you're done baby and then he wrote yeah fucking 20 million dollar phrase I was I had a thing for a while about having like redneck catchphrases or whatever but just mine are super pretentious. I want to try to remember it. Is my,

are my taxes paying for your health care on the front and on the back? Good, right on, buddy. That's a different joke. That was a different joke, but I don't have it. Yeah, I literally can remember a single one of them.

Right, I thought you were going to do the bumper. Okay, I'm an idiot. Go ahead. I shouldn't talk. I'm Larry the cable guy. I'm fucking stupid. Go ahead. I can't remember.

You can't remember. A single one of them. Well, the part, we kept talking, and the part you are going to make fun of me. I said, uh where's that pardon me for having my head up my own ass for a second but I just don't want what I do to fit on a t-shirt

I know how pretentious that sounds and he said how about a caftan which is those like a sarong it's like a row like a flowy robe okay I probably pronounced it wrong but it killed me it killed me

he was like basically like yeah yours won't fit on a t-shirt but you can fit it on one of them things professors wear right hits that does hit he hits does it yeah oh and then we decided and this is true

he said something about maybe you can get something succinct enough to fit on truck nuts truck nuts are the most succinct thing in the history of the world you see them and you know everything

that that dude wanted you to know about him like literally and some things he didn't think he wanted you to know about it yes yes actually more of that nothing has said exactly what

the person wanted them to say and all the things they wanted to keep hidden all at one time than a set of trucks. I won't get a butt hole put on the back of mine. That'll hit. It's where the gas go in. It's just a butt.

And then this time I'll fuck it and then wreck it. Would hit. Wouldn't hit. I don't know. Fuck that truck's butt. You yelled at me while I was drunk going, I'm not Larry the cable guy. Fuck that truck's butt, Joe.

Get it. Oh my fucking God. Well, boys. Oh, well, I did want to tell everybody they've been asking about my eye, and I keep forgetting to say on the podcast. What happened to my eye was, Trey held me down and Corey punched me in the face. That's why they make up these dicks track.

They're bullying me, guys. This is a cry for help. I know Corey's going to delete this, but please. It hits for me because, like, you're admitting that we can do that, and we did do that, and you had no. See, guys, this is what I live with. You couldn't do anything about it. Yeah, well, there's two of it happens because we're so much stronger

and fucking bigger than you. Especially you're mentally stronger, mostly. That's what people really understand. Our fortitude. How much mentally stronger than me you guys are. They held me down. They punch me in my eye. They told me I couldn't read good.

Remember that, what's that movie? Blue Streak? Dave Chappelle. Yeah, but Dave Chappelle? Martin Lawrence. Hell yeah. I remember that. I had that soundtrack.

It hit like a motherfucker. So hard. Dave Chappelle had that small scene where he was his old buddy. Smoking menthols? Yeah. He's in there getting interrogated by him. He beats the fuck it of him. And that lawyer comes in there.

And Dave's crying on her shoulder. He punched me in my nose. He told me I couldn't read good. I remember that scene he's sitting there and he's like he's like the dude in the van for Martin or whatever and he's like motherfucker you smoke it again? I ain't smoking. Motherfucker, I can hear the menthol crackling from here.

God damn it. I'm going to watch that movie tonight. The dude from Martin. Are you talking about Tommy for Martin? Was in that movie? Martin Lawrence. Oh, you said the dude for Martin. I thought you meant somebody else.

He was being the dude in the van for Martin. Like he was watching out for him. Because Martin was going to rob some shit and Chappelle was his, what I call? The guy in the van. The guy in the van. I often think about Tommy from Martin. Yeah.

From the show Martin. Okay. He was a great actor. He nailed it. He should have got more work. Remember when Martin had a speeding ticket and he put everybody on the stand because he wanted to go to trial because he wasn't going to pay his fine? And so he put everybody on a stand and he had Tommy on a stand. He's going through his address book for no reason.

Like the gag was like Martin didn't know what he was doing. He was making people. He was like, who's that? How do you know her? He was like, I don't know what this has to do. Just answer the question. So he's doing it. And he gets to his page.

He's like, GTD, under her name. You met her the day that I got it. What does that mean? What is GTD? What is GTD? And finally, Tommy goes, It means got the draws. I got the drills, Goddames.

I'm sorry, it means got the droves. And Cole stands up, runs up front, high fives him and does a little dance. That fucking show was great, dude. If everybody could see the dance that you just did. In my underwear? Because it perfectly, like, it perfectly, like, rounded out this podcast

because it was the Rick Flair dance. Yeah. You just fucking, you just Rick Flair dripped on that motherfucker. Martin did more. for fucking white people where I'm from, understanding black people the new bag

in the history of the world in my opinion and just understanding them and Eminem on the reverse end probably. My parents watched Martin regularly and like I don't know

if you guys know where I'm from out there listening there ain't no black people none. Yeah, Martin hit. So hard. I love that show.

Last time we brought this up on the podcast I snidly said yes we were a Seinfeld household which I almost just said and remember that I had said and so of course

I did it anyways. This is a very stupid question but I never thought about this until now. And the small... Are you all standing up? What are you doing? What's this? You're about to fight me?

In the small Tennessee town that you're from, yeah, there's no black people. You're like, yeah, but Martin broke through or whatever. How was y'all with rap? Because, like... Loved it. And knew about it? Like, it wasn't just an M&M and shit. Like, you know what I mean?

No, I don't know. Because we had a black community. We had black kids in our grade and shit. I don't know if the NW. hit. So we know what was cool. I don't know the NWA hit in Sunbright when it hit everywhere else. By the time I was aware of rap, I was in third grade. That's how far back rap goes too, is I don't really remember this shit. In third grade, my brother got Snoop Dog's album and he got The Chronic at the same time. He already knew what rap was, obviously. Now, MTV is what did a lot of that. Oh, yeah. For sure, yeah. And we loved MTV. I mean, MTV in a lot of ways, it's like it brought certain cultures out in the world.

but it also ended certain cultures because then youth culture became kind of all the same, at least regular, you know, popular youth culture or whatever. Because there was like a time in the 70s where if you went to California as a 14-year-old, you had no idea how they dressed there. You didn't know anything about the music that they listened to. And if they came to Tennessee, it was the same thing.

Obviously, culture shock would still happen to a 14-year-old moving from California to Tennessee, but they'd know the same music and shit. And MTV was largely responsible. MTV is largely responsible for the fact that used to ugly people could be goddamn colossal superstar sex, sex gods, and now it's more, it would video video killed the radio star.

Like, dude, you think Mick Jagger came out right now, made me mad as hell. That fucking baboon-ass-looking motherfucker would be... Mick Jagger's sexiest. That was the first. I hear you. We didn't get in the bathtub. What's getting the goddamn bathtub?

All right, it's getting a bathtub. Okay. You don't get to bathtub? That video was the first video where they were played on MTV. I think I, I feel like I knew that, but maybe I didn't. Hey, have y'all seen the,

I'm sure. Is that a scab on my back? I'm instinctively put my microphone into your butt hole. He just turned around. Oh, yes, Mr. Butt. Mr. Buck. Let's get a comment. Here we are.

Live on the streets of Mr. Butt. Going live now to Mr. Butt. But is that a scab? Yeah, that's a really shitty. I mean, it's like not infected or nothing. You just don't hit. It's itching.

Yeah, he don't hit. He don't hit. All right. Well, all right, fellasers. Well, we, we, we'll see y'all when? Where are we doing? What are we going next? Oh yeah

we're going to be in August 7th Largo. Largo. And August 8th, Irvine August 9th, Irvine, California, August 10th, we're going to be at the Las Vegas. Vegas. At the Excalibur? Tropicana. It's the Excalibur. Go to our website, well-roadcomby.com.

W-L-L-R-E-D Comedy.com. We're going to be in Vegas. Absolutely losing everything. I think Andy's going to fly out, which is going to be awesome, but also means that I'm going to party that crazy. Yeah, I mean, I was going to him anyway, so you got a friend in me. You got a friend in me. For y'all listening, when Corey gets real drunk, he sings this song in a mess.

The love for head and your biles and bow from your nice one bed. All right, we love you, skew. Skew! Thank you all for listening to The Well Red Show. We'd love to stick around longer, but we got to go. Tune in next week if you got nothing to do Thank you God bless you good night and school