wellRED podcast - #83 - Caleb Synan: A Modern Day Forrest Gump

Episode Date: September 12, 2018

Caleb Synan is a hilarious stand up comedian, a terrific writer, and an overall great fella from the great state of Georgia who for some reason just keeps thinking things will work out.... and so far, they have! Listen as Caleb explains to us how despite his glasses, he is just a silly dumb boy who has fallen ass-backwards into a successful career as a stand up comedian by just... well, you take a listen for yourself! wellredcomedy.com for tickets calebsynan.com

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion. Because used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie, I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now. Skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people. People across the ske universe, I should say. Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year? Do you even know?

Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery? Getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low mane? Because that's a thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better. and it's called Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app

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language learning services that I just wasn't using. So I was like, I should know Spanish. I'll learn Spanish. and I've just been paying to learn Spanish without practicing any Spanish for, you know, pertinent two years now or something like that. Also, a fun one, I'd said it before, but I got an app,

lovely little app where you could, you know, put your friend's faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies. You know, those weren't a little like the Q-ball-looking twin fellas. Yeah. So that was money.

What was that a reply gift for? Just when I did something stupid. Something fat, I think, and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first. But then I quit using it and was still paying for it and forgotten. If it wasn't for Rocket Money, I never would have even figured it out. So shout out to them.

They help. If you're money dumb like me, Rocket Money can help. So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney. dot com slash well read today that's rocket money.com slash well r e d rocketmoney.com slash well read and we thank them for sponsoring this episode of the podcast. They're the.

What's up everybody? It's your boy the show. As you know, well read comedy.com. W-L-L-R-E-D comedy.com. Spelled just like the podcast. Go there for tour dates. and subscribe to our newsletter and get some sweet merch, uh,

merch of which in a few months, next year will include the album that we just recorded in Lexington, Kentucky. And thank you so much for everybody. It came out to the album recording and all the shows last week. They were fantastic. Lexington, Louisville, uh, Goshen, Indiana, Indianapolis, Indiana. God damn it. That was such a fun week.

And we had a blast and the album recording went great. And we couldn't be any happier. With all that. But you want to go see us other places. We're about to be this weekend, Providence, Rhode Island, then Boise, Idaho, Tucson, Arizona, Marion, Virginia, Charlottesville, Virginia, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Madison, Wisconsin. Then on to the North Carolina in Durham, Wilmington, Spendale, Cullochee. So a bunch of great shows coming up. Great chance to see us, and we hope to see you guys.

Go to well-redcomedy.com. of course, this portion of the podcast is always brought to you by Smokey Boysgrilling.com. Go to Smokey Boysgrilling.com. Grab your rubs for all your meats or put it in your sipping broth if you're trying not to be a fatty fat, fat, fuckface like you boy the chow, which I am. I'm a cow.

I don't hit. I feel like a cow right now. Lord God, I just had a fantastic dinner with my manager, Nat. Shout out, Nat, what's going on, girl? At some Thai restaurant here in Burbank. I'm sitting in Trey's guest house right now, just being a fatty with curry belly. So, anyways, go to Smoky Boysgrilling.com, send the guys some love. They're in festivals all across the country this year, and they're kicking ass, and we love them.

So this podcast was a lot of fun. We got to hang out with our buddy, Caleb Sannon. Caleb is a comedian originally from near me in Georgia. He started comedy in Athens. He had him a little open. Mike there at UGA, where he went to college. And he's been on Conan several times. He's been on Last Comic Standing.

He's done some stuff for Comedy Central. He's so fucking funny, and I love Caleb. And I was surprised. I didn't actually know until yesterday we're going to get to hang out. So it was a treat. Me and Caleb, we didn't talk about this on the podcast. I can't believe it. I feel like an idiot.

We fucking, me and Caleb opened up for a goddamn Shinaw Twayne impersonator. one time it was me and me and Caleb and our buddy David Perdue shout out David in Atlanta we opened up for a fucking Shinaia Twain impersonator in Calhoun Georgia so me and Caleb go way back love him and you're going to enjoy the podcast he's terrifically funny

go to Caleb signing.com and check out all his stuff go see him when he's on tour I was going to play a clip here but what I want you to do is just go look at clips of Caleb on the internet because my computer's being fucking

and I can't get it to work and I don't hit. Anyways, enjoy this conversation. Caleb comes in at about the, say, the 19 minute mark before that we're bullshitting around and the guest has here in Barbank. Anyways, love you.

And skew and holler at us. Skew. Well, well, well. I had one of those and I fucking loved it. Did you have clubhouses that you built? Yeah. Or you just go to the woods and be like, this is our clubhouse?

Yeah, we had one of those. But I remember. one year dude this kid Kenny came over. Kenny was super weird he's dead now and are we on? Yeah. Because I think this would like he he

you know I mean we were young young enough for this to blow our minds he was like gathering trash from the woods where we just thrown an old trailer or what you know like a not a trailer like a house like a you know pull behind trailer whatever else in the woods he's dragging out the metal and

doing all that and built a proper clubhouse. And what he did was we had this little grove of trees and he'd lean boards up against the trees and we'd tie him to the tree or whatever, make little walls and then just lean the metal up against it. And we had an actual structure of some sort. No, that hits. We never took it to. Yeah, that's awesome.

We never took it to that extent. We did neither to Kenny. The Strange Kid came over and then it was awesome. Yeah, that's how we were. Kenny was very popular that summer for the first time. Yeah, that's rad. That's how we were except for that was Chris, who y'all know, our buddy Chris. He's really good at shit of that sort, like building stuff.

Right. Whereas I weren't. I'd be like, is it possible to move that? Me, yeah, I can move it. Thompson is also great at that, but he, you know, back in the day, he was more just about, you know, not that, I guess. Right. We either were like inside playing video games or we were playing basketball in the driveway.

That's pretty much all we ever did. That was some and eat our asses off. And that was the only two things we did. I'm sure. I'm going to pull that clip. I played so much basketball, but often alone. Well, you know what? I would play with every group of kids.

I play with my brother's friends and just get the crap bit out of me. Then I play with my age friends. Then I go play, I dribble inside in our basement. We had a concrete floor basement. Did y'all see. I think back on this sometimes, and like, I think it's part of why my group of buddies has remained tight, even after, you know, we all graduated high school and everything. Because, like, that was definitely a thing that was told to us growing up. Not just to us.

It's just the thing adults say, but I just remember repeatedly some version of, like, you know, y'all enjoy this time together because, you know, you'll graduate high school and then everybody go their separate ways or whatever. And like we have, but we've stayed tied over the years. But what you like, you'll still keep up with. Well, see, I think for a lot of people, that's also not true. Well, I guess, but. I see behind. But here's what. I see Austin every once in a while.

That's pretty much it for me, man. So, and I think that's more normal than my situation or yours, Corey. But I was going to ask if y'all had any, if y'all had any of these scenarios when you were growing up with your boys. Because I think back on it, I'm like, I don't know that that's the norm at all. jacking off. Yes, we did that too, but almost like my house wasn't this way, but like with

Bain and with Thompson, we could, we was pretty much left to our own devices like all the time like in the house. So when I say like, oh, we'd hang out and play video games. It was like we were roommates in like an apartment in college when we were 13 and 14. That was certainly. There were houses like that and it wasn't that Thompson's mama was just working

all the time. And then like Bain's dad, he was a riverboat captain so that's like he'd just be gone for months at a time and if we wanted to we could go to bain's dad's house to hang out and like it'd just be us it'd just be a group of 14 year old boys there you know for the whole weekend or whatever no parents no nothing and we you know we we we fuck some shit up from time to time but by and large we were fine but like did y'all have situations like that like were you alone a lot okay a lot like we'll say I I wonder if that's not the case a lot of times. Well, there was like one or two houses where it was like that.

But another thing about where I'm from that is definitely different from where he's from. And I think it's different from where you're from. Like, Brandon was my best friend, like in middle school. It was a 16-minute drive to his house. We went to the same high school. Oh, yeah, that wasn't the case for us at all. Oh, that's very much the case in Salina. Yeah, dude, I got one guy who lives on, it's called Out on Bramstone.

Right. Yeah, we got a brimstone. It's an hour. It's 45 minutes. Right. It's 45 minutes away. So, like, how'd y'all hang out so much? Was it just like you that?

We'd go to one. No, Thompson's house was like that. Baines' house was like that. Rooney's house was usually like that. And we'd just like, we'd pick one of those three for the most part. We'd go to that house and then that's just where we'd be. Well, like we'd meet up at that house. You're telling me.

You were driving. No, no. I know I just said we'd go to that house. We'd meet up there, you know, like, clear it with my, dad or whatever and then my dad would run me out to Thompson's house on a Friday afternoon and then I'd be there until Monday or Sunday night before we were driving it was an event like you had to both parents had to talk and it wasn't like let me make sure these boys ain't getting into trouble it was like can we make sure Drew has permission to be because you know they're assholes

let me make sure that they actually you know that Lisa really wants these kids there dude the houses that we did that at here's nothing I've thought about looking back on it have like felt bad but like we was kids didn't know no better but like yeah man they just like god bless thompson's mom and bain's mom especially like they are fucking angels because like we we go over and i mean yeah we didn't do what you were just saying it was a situation where because they were angels it was cool and i and i know that looking back like it was cool that we would but we'd just show up as a group but dude we'd eat all their goddamn food and like they They didn't, nothing. Baines' mom was a teacher.

Thompson's mom worked like two or three jobs. They didn't have no fucking money. And we'd show up and just eat everything, just be there laying our asses around. And like, you know, like I said, I mean, they're fucking saints, man, because I couldn't put up. And Bain's mom did it for two generations. You know, Big Bain, James Bain that lives out here in L.A., he had a group of friends that was like that. And then we were the younger group that was like that. And so Barb did that shit for like, four.

15 years or something. For me, I don't remember that happening much. It happened on my cousins a lot, but they were literally my neighbors and literally my family. But what you're talking about didn't really happen until we started driving. My friend Jesse... And when we started driving, we did. My friend Jesse, his mom died when we were fairly young and his dad wasn't in the picture. His dad lived in Kentucky.

But his sister was four or five years older than us. So it was a situation where, like, Ashley just took... Like the dad didn't come back in their lives. They just left him the house and Ashley as a 17, 18 year old is now taking care of Jesse. So we naturally wanted to go fucking hang out over there all the time. And we would. But he, now it wasn't like, you know, 30 minutes away or nothing. But it was funny.

Like, he did live a lot further away than any of the rest of us did. But what we would do is we'd ride our bikes over there. But it would like you leave in the morning. It felt like we were riding all fucking day as kids. And then I remember when we started driving and like, went to Jesse's house like it's just it was just that you know what I know exactly what you mean because we were fucking

8 and 9 it was like god damn we're going to Jesse it was an adventure Thompson and Bayne it was Thompson and Bain lived within walking distance of each other but they both lived out of town and this called out on shanky the shanky branch is what it's called and they lived out there and yeah again as a kid it felt like

forever way and like me Cory Barlow and Roney we all lived in town and so we'd all just be like I said we'd basically pick a place which every place made the most sense that that given weekend or whatever. And then that's just... No cell phones you're going to decide the night before. Everybody stick to the plan.

I can still tell you there like numbers, like house numbers. Oh, yeah. Yeah. To this day. And Chris was 45... And we'd get to a place and that's just where we'd be. Here's a good way to say how far Brandon lived for me. My number was 628-2-4-8.

Cousin Tasha was 6-28-5-2-8-5. She was on the way to Brandon's house. Brandon had a 965 number, 965, 3236. He was another, what do you call those? Area code. Not an area code. I don't know what the middle. No, he's talking about the middle one.

Oh, the middle. Oh, shit. I don't know what that. City code. I don't know what it's. City code. I think it might be. I think it is City Code.

And that makes sense because he lived in Deer Lodge and I lived in. It's 375. Well, I lived in Burville, but Burville didn't have a city code. Salinas City Code 243. My granny was 706, 866. We were 706. 375. Chikamaga was 375, 4-0 was 8661. That's the city code, I believe, is what that's called, yeah.

So we just had a big, big, big, big weekend. Yeah, we did. I still on. A big weekend. Thanks to everybody that was there in Indiana and then Kentucky, culminating with us recording an album in Lexington, Kentucky, a comedy off-Broadway. I said Indiana and Kentucky. I thought you just said Indianapolis.

You're right, I'm an idiot. You said Indiana, and you thought Indianapolis. Like everyone in the country, Right. Yeah. Dude, I didn't know. I knew, but I didn't really know that South Bend, we flew into South Bend, which is where Notre Dame is. And as we were flying, as I was landing, I was like, oh, Notre Dame's in Indiana.

See, like, I feel like I've always been aware of Notre Dame being in Indiana. Yeah. Man, I still don't. I guess in my mind it's like, Notre Dame's its own thing. Yeah, they're just, yeah, exactly. I mean, I think that's definitely true for sure. I don't, I don't even know where I assumed that it was. So you also didn't realize it was an Indian?

I did, but it's been, it hasn't been that long since I found that out. It was before this tour, but it hasn't been that long ago that I was like, oh, South, oh, word, Notre Dame's in Indiana. Whatever, you know, but I definitely haven't known that my entire college football loving life. How do you feel about Notre Dame in the college football world? They don't hit for me. They don't hit for me. They don't hit for me, but I got to think about it. They've never hit for me.

They're not in a, they're not in a conference, which I've never, that's never hit for me. conference, but I do like the history, I guess. I like that there's a team that I didn't know what state they were in. It's cool. That Catholics love them, not just people from Tennessee. You know what I'm saying? They're like the most popular American college football team in Ireland. Yeah, that hits.

That does hit. I mean, that is cool. I dig that. They don't hit from me either. I'm glad they exist. They're like bulls. I always felt like growing up. I always felt like growing up, they were one of those teams that,

I always thought they were consistently overrated every single year, no matter what, just because of like their name. It was because they had a deal with NBC, and NBC probably paid the fucking press to say that shit about it. And so, yeah, and then the whole conference thing is just, that's just never hit for me and still doesn't.

So like, Notre Dame has never really hit for me. Yeah. Yeah, but every time they start... I don't hate them, but they don't hit for me. Every time they start to join a conference. I hate them. Okay.

I'm like, eh, that also don't have. No, I mean, no, I don't hate them, but I hate some people that like them. see i didn't really i hadn't there should be a conference that's like them baylor those are the jesus schools in basketball there's a bunch of good ones right

yeah would you put b yu in that i said b yu okay i didn't hear that yeah yeah just any type of religion the crusades yeah tc u they're good yeah that's true tcgu baler uh smu got the death penalty and ain't hit ever since but they used to be good we could bring them back

you can come back from the dead BYU, Notre Dame. Did you ever say that? I'm sure there's more. You saw the 30 for 30, didn't you? On SMU, no. The pony excess, God down. Oh, pony excess.

Yeah, it was awesome. I don't know. I don't know. I came here for Washington or not. I remember the name. Well, it might have been Ather. It came out when I was drunker. But anyway, it was a great weekend all around,

but I mean, I'm pretty sure I speak for all of us. The recording in Lexington went great. Yeah. I mean, like I said, what I keep saying, and I know it sounds ridiculous, but like, I thought if my literal only concern, especially with the first recording in Lexington for the album, was, if anything, I think it might have been too good. And I mean the crowd and their response, that's how on fire the crowd was, was there were times where I had the thought, this might be too good. Right, exactly. It's going to sound like unbelievably good to people listening to. That's how on fire the crowd was.

There's a literal joke where it's like a rule of three jokes. Like premise one, two, three examples or whatever. And I get to the third one, and they're clapping and laughing so loud that I, like, I'm screaming. And I remember having the thought, well, the recording will be able to pick it up because they're pumped right in the mic or maybe not. And I'm like doing this, putting my hands like in the be quiet motion. Which is a great problem to have, yeah. Quit hitting. Yeah.

That, and I mean, that's part of why we even opted to record at that club in the first place, because the last time we're at that club, we did a full weekend there, and every single show was just lights out. That club is. Comedy off Broadway. Comedy off Broadway. I said it, but very quickly. But, yeah, comedy off Broadway and Lexington, Kentucky, like. Our pal Jordan over there really does a good job.

We've done a bunch of clubs all over the country, and, like, I mean, it fucking can hang with the best of them in my opinion. I think it is the best of them. I mean, not, I'm saying it's, it just is that. Like, it's top three, top five. It's among the best of it. Yeah, without it out. And I think, and I posted that, uh, I posted a picture of that, that, hey, we're doing the album recording here. You know, we were in the middle of it or whatever.

And I had several people comics that were like, it's, that room is criminally underrated. Like, you know, you don't hear people. And I think it's just an association. No, but see you don't. And that's, I think it's an association. A lot of comics just have with maybe the state of Kentucky. Kentucky doesn't seem like a, like, like, like, Zanis in Nashville, it makes sense. you're like oh Nashville Tennessee you know what I'm saying like but Kentucky is like oh Lexington

Kentucky okay and I'm not trying to shit on the I just I know the perceptions but like it is awesome it's such a great fucking club the actual like the physical room itself too is fucking perfect yeah like for as a comedian like uh small stage lower ceiling sardine packing the yeah you're packed in there tight with them it's hard walls yeah yeah it's old it still looks like a comedy club that you would see in a movie. Like if someone was showing you like a... Right. Oh, here's where Seinfeld started.

It still looks like that. Also, I know this isn't healthy and all our fans are going to get me shit, but there's something to be said about a place that'll still, at least let the comics smoke inside. Like in the green room, the green room feels like a fucking green room. You know what I mean? Because you can smoke cigarettes. I do like their green room, but it don't hit for me when they let y'all smoke. Yeah, I know.

I don't hit for you. But, you know, it just smells more like... The whole place because of that smells more like a comment. comedy club it has the beer beer and cigarette smell well aside from the smell i think that when y'all go smoke there's like a natural rhythm i get used to that y'all get used to that i don't know there's something about that you like you like sometimes i go with you guys it's just like i don't know like i had a friend i don't remember who it was who's trying to go smoke it and he's like i think it was logesky because in my head i'm hearing him go like what do you do like i fucking need something

to do every hour you know fucking talk to a guy yeah it's ritual realistic for sure, but like the part of it you're not appreciating because you don't actually do the smoking is that sometimes it's a colossal pain in the ass. Like, depending on and that's not a build, you know, they don't

buildings are not set up for smokers anymore and they shouldn't be and that's fine. But like, it just depends on the building and how it's laid out, but sometimes it's a whole fucking thing. And so go out there and do it without like, you know, people from the second show hanging out out there. And not that you don't want to see them

after the show or whatever but like it becomes the thing you can't just smoke and enjoy yourself so yeah it it's super hits for me but but god damn man yeah this whole week i'm still i slept last night for like i said eight uninterrupted hours and i think i'm like almost back to normal but just from like i still ain't i mean i'm not i slept last night for 11 which i can't ever do and i still feel tired i got a hotel last night just to sleep better i mean i'm tired don't you you you I feel like it's a thing with you, though. You say that just being out here, we're in my house, by the way, so in L.A. Being on the West Coast, you can't get used to it.

When we have a show, like I can't adjust to it. Like, I went to bed last night at 9.30 out here. Right. So there was nothing to get used to. When I have to be on stage at 10 out here, it's like one on my body. I can't get used to that. Yeah. So, yeah, well, I guess the answer was yes, because I didn't get used to it.

I went to bed at 930, which is something I never do. But it was, you know, not 930 to me. Yeah. But then I slept till 7.30. Dude, I love Pacific time, like, for our jobs and what we do. It hits so hard for me. The only thing that doesn't hit is that to get to a city, like, we're flying straight from here to Providence Road Island this weekend. And me and you, we get to Providence, like, an hour, less than an hour and a half before the show starts is when our plane lands.

And that sucks. That's not ideal at all. and we're leaving LA at 7.30 in the morning. When I'm out here regularly, I think I'll leave the night before. Right. See, I don't, and I'm not going to do that. Right, because of the boys and everything, I'm not going to leave the night before. So, like, that part sucks. Everything else about it, I love, though.

There's a lot of red eyes to Atlanta, though. And the thing about catching a red eye to Atlanta, and then ending up at, say you catch a red eye to Atlanta, you get there at 6, then you fly to Providence, and you're in Providence by 10. If you can get into the hotel at 1230 or 1, eat a big meal, sleep from 1 to 4, that I have a great show anytime I do that anyway. That's what I'm doing.

Yeah, that does hit. It's probably bad for you. It is. That's easier for y'all to do way easier. Oh, yeah. Like, I almost never get there. Earliest I usually get to a place. I'm saying you come in on a red eye.

That's what I might do when I move out here. It's always a red eye to Atlanta. Oh, on a red eye. Oh, dog. I don't know about that. That's kind of what we did in Denver or Boulder for the Boulder show. It's kind of what I did at least. And, like, it did not.

It was fine. It was fine. but it wasn't I didn't like it. Before we moved on too far from the Lexington, I wanted to shout out a guy we're a fan of

Tyler Childers. We invited Tyler to the show. Tyler's a musician. If you don't know, you should check it out. Pergatory is phenomenal. Yeah. He's up for newcomer of the year

in the Americana Fest Awards. And that's relevant because we invited him to the recording on Twitter. And I met him once. I went up to him after his show and I told him who I was and he was aware of us.

It wasn't like, oh my God, but it was like, yeah, man, I'm fucking know you guys or whatever. And he was cool. It was like, I'm into it. So I invited him out, and I just want everybody to know that this is what his response is. And if you know, Tyler, you're going to think this is super cool, because this is, I think, just like so, what do the kids say, on brand?

On brand. It's like, Tyler, we got this show recording. We want you to come out, dude, that'd be great. Dudes, that'd be killer. But I'm having a pre-American Award's goat-slaughter slash goat curry potluck at my cabin. If you want to hang beforehand in a Stillkney, though, hit me up. and then later I asked him you how long well it'll be an all day piddle I ain't got service here

at the house I'll be in and off the hill all week just let me know I'll meet you at Irvine we'll going up to the cabin just like so on brand yeah he's having a goat slaughter at his cabin where there's no service but y'all are welcome yeah it couldn't have been a more he called it an all day piddle right I haven't I haven't met Tyler in person but I'm a huge fan I love his shit and if you'd ask

me to like draw up a response from him that I wouldn't have come up with that but only because that's how perfect that is. I sent the screencap to Brian, and that's Brian's favorite. And he was like, this is the coolest you've ever been. And then he wrote dot, dot, dot, dot. And look how much cooler than you he is. That's so, that's classic, Brian.

Because he's shitting on you, but in a probably. Yeah, in a positive way, like calling you cool, but also a piece of shit. That's fantastic. Awesome, Brian. Good job. So I know it's well established. lore that sports don't hit for our fans, but there's one particular thing I want to talk about because I think it will hit for them because it's only indirectly sports related.

I can't get... They're finally going to address Colin Kaepernick. I can't get over how much I love this. I just think it's so... I know what you're telling about. It's awesome. It's so goddamn funny to me. And I can't, like, I don't know what else to do.

I tweeted something about it. I don't know what else to do with it other than just talk about it on here because it's so great. But, like, so if y'all missed, opening weekend, NFL, every team I like is god-awful as, as is custom. But the rest of the game's hit. The Raiders, you know, my Raiders traded away generational talent, one of the best defenders in the past, probably ever actually in Khalil Mack to the Chicago Bears, who on Sunday night in primetime played the Green Bay Packers, and the Bears were up 20 to nothing at halftime in large part because Khalil Mack was shredding the fuck out of them. so I'm sitting up there about to cry.

It felt like watching your like ex-girlfriend just get railed the butt. Just by plowed by fucking Ryan Gosling or something. That's what it felt like in football fan perspective. You're definitely still going to watch. Right, yeah. But it don't. Yeah, exactly. And on top of that, so they were whipping the Packers' ass and had knocked Aaron Rogers out of the game.

He had an injury. Aaron Rogers comes back in the second half, completes a historic comeback, and ends up winning that game, like, legendary, because obviously he's also a generational talent. What they do in that situation, they pump those guys full of painkillers, because of course they do. And so after the game, he's clearly high on pain pills, but, you know, for good reason. But he clearly is. And in the post-game interview, Aaron Rogers is from California, played at California, has played in the NFL in Green Bay his entire career. I never been near the South except for games.

And all of a sudden in this interview, he just has a southern accent for no reason. He gets high on pills and just develops a southern accent. Like, our accent is a side effect of pills. That is hilarious. That's so funny. That's so fucking funny to me. And then Drew pointed out, tell him what you said about it, because I love this part, too. This is the only thing left that he had to do to become on the equal with Brett Farr.

Right. All Farr has had on him over it. He had his Super Bowl ring. He got that. He had legendary games. He got that. He had, you know, big dick, best quarterback swagger. He got that.

The biggest canon in the league. Fucking playing a fire game, high shit on pills, and a sweet Southern accent. He rectified that in one night. Yeah, man. It's so, it's just so great. I can't get over how great I think it all is. It's amazing. It's like...

Had to hang in there. That was a friend. We had to hang in there. It's one of those moments that, like, for a second, makes me believe in maybe not a loving God. but, you know, one that is up there and has strings to pull. I mean, I've often, I've often thought before it's like, I don't, I'm believing a God, but if there is a God, though, I mean, he's pretty funny. He is hilarious. He's just sick fun.

Right, exactly. Yeah, but. But, like, yeah, man, we go hang in there. Or a simulation or something. Yeah. Or we're in a simulation or something. Another thing that happened to opening weekend that is in that vein, and also is hilarious. if you're a sports fan,

is that the fucking Cleveland Browns ended a historic multi-season losing streak. There's been like three Star Wars movies come out since the Browns' last one. And they ended that losing streak. They ended that losing streak without fucking winning.

Because they tied the Steelers. So their losing streak is over, but their winless streak goes on. Yeah, I'll be right back. Well, another thing simulation-wise, me and Corey got a rental car. You guys have heard us call things Raven and talk about the Ravens. Now, if anything happens that's so typical that it's funny, then that's Raven.

You know, like, it's just like me, yell. You want to tell that story? I almost literally just said, like, if something's raven, I just tried to use it. You try to use Raven to define Ravens, which is very raven of you to do. Yeah, very raven of me to do. Well, here's a Raven story. What ends pretty ravenly. No, it's...

I tweeted about this, so some of you may have seen it. So I order a lift, me and Treyer going to the show. You were already there. This is in Indianapolis. You're already there doing a sound check and whatnot. I order us a lift. The dude is to our right down the street at the other side of this roundabout in the middle of Indianapolis. Anybody from there who's been there knows there's that big war monument right there in the middle of downtown.

It's a roundabout around the war monument. He's on the other side. I see him. I call the lift. I see him on the app. I mean, I don't see him in person. We're waiting. We're waiting. What's up, dude?

Should we pause? Look who I found. Let's pause this. Yeah, man. And then you'll tell the story? Yeah, we'll do that. All right. As you can see, we pause because our special guest, Caleb Signing, just walked into the door.

So that's why everything sounds weird. This next portion of the podcast will be with our buddy, Caleb Signing, talking about eating chicken wings and stand up and how stupid Caleb is. I didn't know. I always thought Caleb was smart because he wore glasses. He's apparently stupid. You'll hear more about it. Caleb's about to tell you. He'll tell you how dummy is. Anyways, skew.

So I found this guy outside. Hell yeah, just walking around. Just walking. Yeah, jerking dudes off. This is a man. Yeah, this is Caleb Signing, everybody. Caleb is a buddy of ours, comedian, who we've known for a while now.

I mean, I don't know individually when everybody met him, but I know I first met you probably. I mean, at least four years ago probably, right? Something like that. I feel like we met at, where do we meet at? I think it was out here, actually. Did we randomly read it? I know that me and you were at the first red clay together,

and I feel like I had... And didn't you have to borrow Corey's truck to get down? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I did, because mine broke down in fucking Dalton, Georgia. Not what you want on the way to a comedy festival. but Caleb lives out here in LA now when did you move out here? 2015.

2015, right on. And he's fucking hilarious. He's fantastic. And what, you're from, you're from Georgia, right? Yeah, Royston. Royston? It's kind of near Athens, kind of near Greenville. It's not near much, but that's not as good as I can.

Well, anyway, we're going to get more in on your shit in a minute, but Drew's got a story he's wanting to tell you, apparently. Well, I was in the middle of one when we paused. I guess Corey could edit it out. It's fine. All right. So. Yeah, I'm going to do something.

I got a lift in Indianapolis. Corey was already at the theater, right? And me and Traer getting this lift. I order the lift. Just to my right is where he's at on the app. There's like a roundabout. He's on the other side of it. He takes off.

He doesn't come around the roundabout. He just keeps going straight. I'm like, all right, whatever. And then I see on my app that I'm on the ride. He is pushed in that he picked me up. so I call him and he's like I don't speak English very well I'm better sorry or whatever

I'm not going to do the accent I want to make it sound like it's one of those stories yeah black guy yeah exactly thank you and he's like I don't speak English very well I'm sorry I'm like alright well you know come pick me up

I'm like Trey just get another lift and like I'll cancel this so Trey gets another lift I'm getting in that car he's driving to where he's supposed to drop me off so now I'm like this poor dude it just doesn't know what he's doing he's just driving to where he's supposed

to drop me off thinking that's where he's supposed to pick me up. Oh, God. And I can't cancel it, though. Like, I thought I was like, Treyis get another lift and I'll cancel this or whatever. I'm trying to figure it out. There's no button for it if you're on the ride. So I'm on the ride, according to the app. I'm in the car.

And he's now driving on that route. He comes by us. Yeah. He passed us in the lift that I called on the way to the thing. He drove right by us. He goes right, which is not the, you know, way he would be going if he was doing that and then he just stops so go up there I call him again nothing like he didn't answer that time I text him hey man turn the ride off he says okay and uh then I say hey man this is like

ten minutes later turn the ride off please and he texts me back my car has hit the goat no the calf the calf the calf hurt the calf and the prevailing theory we had was that that that is his version of like shit the bed or something, hurt the poach. Hurt the calf. We have no fucking idea. I tweet that picture, picture of that at Lyft or whatever,

and then some like, you know, ask Lyft or whatever gets back to me. They're like, tell us more about it. And I screen cap, like, everything I came out. I just cancel this or whatever. 20 minutes of pat. I'm starting to, like, get pissed now. I'm like, this is going to cost me $400.

They're like, you'll get your money back. I'm like, yeah, in four fucking weeks. I don't want to deal with this. I call the duty answers this time. He says, I don't remember they were, two full sentences in English, and then says, I don't speak English. I lost my fucking mind. Okay, I wondered how honest Drew was about to be on how fucking furious he got over this.

But like, dude, me and Corbyn, I was like, well, Red's first hate crime. Here we go. Indianapolis and then. He was infuriated. I said, I could see where you are in this fucking app, and I'm coming to pull you out of your goddamn car right now, and then I start storming out the door, and I go out the door or whatever,

and then I look at my phone, he takes off. Motherfucker definitely understood that. Also, let me say something before that. Right before Drew had said, I'm about to come out there and drag you out of your car and beat the fuck out of you, the guy from Live Nation had just come down there and goes, all right, guys, Drew, if you want to go bring Corey on,

and we're ready to go. And Drew's like, yeah, absolutely. I'm going to come out there and beat the fuck out of you. And then I just left. And I just, our agent was there and I was just like, we're not doing the show right now. I know that. Not until this happens, but we'll do it later. Oh, man.

I love that. That's like, you know, on Netflix, they always show them going out of their car on the specials. It's always like, well. Yeah. It's so funny for your Netflix special. I'm going to fucking. It's him. Yeah.

It's him beating the shit out of an immigrant Uber driver. Yeah. Yeah. I'm married. And what also, and I was with him the whole time, and he really, he didn't do anything, like, wrong on his end to cause all that shit to happen. But it's still hilarious because earlier that day at lunch, he had been talking to me and Corey about how, me and Corey both told brief stories about pissing people off in the service industry without meaning to or whatever, like making people mad at a Starbucks or whatever. And Drew was like, yeah, you know what's funny is like, I'm apparently the asshole of this group. but I've literally never had a situation like that.

I've never had anything like that happen. Tell me, name war. Which was a lie already. Oh, it was. And then that very night. No, it wasn't. Because the situation you guys were talking about was when the Starbucks lady got mad at y'all

over the whatever she got mad about. I'm not saying that there's never been anybody that I've interacted with been mad at me. That has certainly happened. But it's never been a waiter or a cab. It was just funny that two hours after that conversation, I'll pull you on your fucking. car motherfucker.

I would have, too. I'm in it. So, so anyway, Caleb. I don't know, I don't know Caleb that well. You guys are telling them,

I'm literally shirtless. My pants are undone. My dick's halfway out. I mean, my underwear are on, but like, this is the same for you guys listening. And you guys are telling.

I see the dick is halfway in. Yeah, there you go. I'm a dick halfway in kind of good. Oh, happy September 11th, by the way. Oh, wow.

This couldn't be more fitting. Yeah. But the last. Last time before this, if I'm not mistaken, that we hung out, was we both had shows. We all had shows in San Jose on the same night. Me and you were on the same plane. That's how we figured out we both had a ship. Yeah, the only two people in the airport.

Yeah, the Burbank Airport, buddy. That's what's up. And afterwards, we went out, and did you try those fucking chicken wings? Yes, I did. How good were those goddamn chicken. We still think about two. Dude, I tell you what I've been meaning to talk to you about, poop. So did you see

Did you see Deadpool too? No, I haven't seen it. Okay, no spoilers. There's a part in that movie where, and it's like an aside, you know, a character in that movie, a cameo, it's actually Matt Damon in Hillbilly makeup,

makes the exact argument about toilet paper that you made to us that night in that bar. And I remember I'm drunk as fucking, you were blowing my mind. Because you said, you were like, dude, if you got, if you just got some poop on your arm,

you wouldn't just take a little tissue and just wipe that off. That's the fuck, that'd be fucking terrible. And I'll remember that night being like, holy fucking shit. And then in Deadpool 2, there's a scene with two rednecks on the back of a pickup truck having that exact conversation. Matt Damon and Alan Tudor. I recognize Alan Tudick.

That was Matt Damon? Yeah, yeah. My mind is blown. Also, if I may for a second, because you were talking, about wet wipes and bidets. Well, so since then, and I've had this, you put a little

worm up here, and since it, so we did the D.C. Comedy Festival, and they put every comic there was that they put us at the fucking Watergate. Watergate Hotel. And so, and it's super nice, and my room, for some reason, because theirs didn't, I don't know why, but my room had a bidet.

And, buddy, I I squirted at least a sunny D jar worth of water up my asshole that whole week. It stayed full of, because you can adjust the speed, and I finally worked my way up to... You said, oh, yeah, that's normal? The speed adjustment? Mine goes up to 10, and 10 can strip the paint off my wall. This one, I'll put it to 11.

This one went to... But, dude, I mean, I'm talking... So, like, it opened my asshole and put water into my... Bailey. Yeah, and it was so, but it was fantastic. And so I thought about, and so I thought about you the whole time, I was shoving this thing in my ass. I was like, oh, Caleb. And it goes out to all the listeners.

If ever you're spraying anything up your ass, think of me. Yeah. Caleb Simon. So, um, we met under a bridge. Do you remember that? We did meet under a bridge. Yeah. You were coming through on Dave Stone's show.

Yeah, yeah. Oh. I think you were tired. I thought you were an asshole. I'm going to be honest with you. I think you're just like tired. I was like, hey, what's up, guys? I'm on the show.

And you're like, okay. And I was like, all right. And then that became a thing with us. Did either have you told him this? What? I think. So I didn't see you again. I thought we talked about this when we were drunk in San Jose that, man.

Never mind. I'm pretty sure we did. Yeah, because I remember that tour and me and Dave Stone or whatever the opposite. I guess we're bad influences on each other. There's just no closed circuit. So I'll be like, you know, we're about to go to bed. And I'm like, you know, if we go to Waffle House, we can drink more. And he'll be like, that's true.

There's just no one ever says bad idea. So by the end of that tour, it was like I was about to die. Like what we just did, it'd be like 10 a.m. And we'd be in the hotel, I'd be like, we could drink beer right now. And he'd be like, we could. And then we'd be like, we'll take a nap before the show. It's like just. Train and Corey have that effect.

We do. Yeah. It's calm down some since we've been on tour for like two and a half years this point. but we had the same kind of dynamic. I sent him a, I saw some fucking, like, meme that was a screenshot of a popular kids book in the UK. It's called Frog and Toad. Frog and Toad. They just came out as homosexuals.

Frog and Toad? Good for them. Hell yeah. Welcome to 2018. Good for Frog and Toad. Well, aren't they different species? Isn't that more of a... Yeah, they've been an interspecies relationship this whole time.

But it was just a clip from a page of them. One of them was holding a box of cookies. And say it's frog and frogs. like, I'm going to close this box of cookies so we don't eat any more cookies. And then Towe goes, but we could just open the box back up and have more cookies. And he goes, that is true. And I told Corey, I was like, this me and you with everything. We need to stop.

I was like, yeah, but we could also not. Yeah. It is fun to not. It is fun to not. So, all right, you grew up in Royston, Georgia. Mm-hmm. and how big is how big is that 2,000 people okay so yeah small town yeah real small and uh well we had one high school for the whole county yeah us too yeah so i drive 11 miles to go to school we were just talking about that kind of how many people were in it the high school i never even count it how many people do you graduate with roughly i mean not more than a couple hundred okay because we had four high schools in a tiny county but that means we had i had 43 people in my graduating

class. Yeah, it was more than 43. I never even, like, when people like, that's how bad a student I was. I didn't even know how many people were in my school. I didn't check any of that shit. I never care. Well, there was so few things to be proud of at Salina High School that like our whole thing

as far as I can always remember was we were the biggest, class of 2004, we were the biggest class that had ever went through that school system ever, and we graduated with, I think it was like 67 people. And we were like the biggest by a lot. It's normally like 40-something.

When they started out now. That's probably true. And we also only have one school in the county so I mean it's rural as hell. But so you said you were a terrible student? You serious about that? Like were you shit in school? Because you look like a huge fucking nerd.

Yeah, but what do you mean like you didn't do as well as you could have or you literally didn't do work? Well, I think our curriculum was so like I think it was a bad school. I mean I think the teachers were nice, the people were nice, but I think it was super easy. So, like, there was, it's hard to even tell a good student from a bad student.

Right. And they put me in the good classes because my siblings were smart. And they'd be like, oh, here comes another one. Let's put it. Because they got like, you know, they were like star student and shit. But I was definitely the dumbest person in the good class. When did you, when did you have the idea that you wanted to do stand-up comedy? Was that, like, a lifelong and early thing were you?

Or were you older? I thought, well, here's how dumb I was. I thought you had to be famous before you started. Yeah. You know what I mean? I mean, I had no understanding of how it worked at all. I thought you had to live in New York or L.A. And I know like that's still, I mean, literally, I thought there was, the people who came to

in Knoxford to do stand-up came from those places in my mind. Yeah. I thought you had to, and I thought it only, I didn't know what happened in real life. I thought it only happened on TV. Yeah. I didn't think any stand-up, I thought all stand-up was recorded and broadcast on TV. I didn't realize. Oh, like, live shows at all?

I thought it happened on Seinfeld and David Letterman and Comedy Central sometimes. And I thought that was with her first set. They walked out on their presents. I was like, oh, this guy, like presenting this guy. This guy was funny as hell. I didn't know they've been working on it for years. No, thank you for saying. Honestly, you've helped.

I've been trying to explain that and I haven't done a good job of it for years. I always say it's like, I didn't know lawyers. I didn't know any lawyers. So me going to law school was a huge deal. I couldn't imagine. Right. I literally couldn't imagine a person being a comedian. Yeah.

I don't think I had those thoughts. It sounds like you were a dumb student. I wasn't a little bad. But I do remember now thinking like that it's literally just L.A. and New York. That's the only place you can learn how to do it. You can tour other places, but you can't learn in those places. I remember telling, or I tell people a lot because, like, I went to college and I got a, I went to business school and all this shit. I don't, and I, but I always want to do comedy pretty much.

And people be like, well, what the fuck? Why did you, you know, go to business school then? And I, and I'd be like, man, you don't like, there, that's just not a real thing you can do or be like where I grew up, you know, a comedian or whatever. Like, there's no, it's like literally not real to people. You know what I mean? Like, it's not a thing that somebody can. Right. Yeah.

It's not like a thing that somebody from there could just decide you like then wanted to do. you know what I mean like it and it's still that way in like like my in-laws for example and Wayne County Tennessee which is rural as shit same thing there dude like they have no like me and their daughter living out here in L.A. They don't they don't know what all this shit is you know what I mean they don't know it just isn't real to them basically even though it is I mean that's true yeah crazy that this is uh like even right now yeah talking into microphones like hanging out drinking beer. It's like, and this is something.

This is a thing. This is work. Yeah. It's like insane. It feels so weird to me that I'm like, I feel like I'm, you know, riding on the longest wave ever on a surfboard and being like, how is this still? How has no one called me on this yet? Who are you telling down?

How does the government let me do this? Yeah. It's crazy. So at what point did you, you know, realize, oh, that was really stupid of me to think all those things about stand up? And this is how, like, at what point did you figure out, you know, how it worked, what you wanted to do? Yeah, yeah. I ran an open mic in Athens where I went at UGA.

And that was a great. I didn't know that that was like, until I came out here, I guess I really didn't understand that, like, that was an open mic where people paid five. It's still going. It's still great. Sean Eck runs it now. People would pay $5 to watch an open mic and it would be packed. Was it like on campus at UGA? It was downtown.

like next of the 40 watt and all that shit Oh right on What was that your first foray into it Or had you started it and then decided you were start your own show Like no I was already going and then the guy moved to New York and gave it to me to run Okay And who was that? T.J. Young he was in the Beards of Comedy

Oh right on it was crazy and then uh I mean I always loved it like as soon as YouTube came out I was like well I want to look up Jerry Seinfeld on the tonight show it was like the day it came out I was 13 and I was like That's what I need to see. You were 13 and you sounded like someone's uncle ordering from an L.L.Bain catalog. Well, I'll tell you what. This is quite a coat they have here.

I believe. Yeah, when the internet came out, I ordered a pair of pants. That's all I did with it. But yeah, I always wanted. And then I guess I was, yeah, I was 19. And I googled comedy. And it popped up that the Laughing Skull was in Atlanta. And I was like, well, I'm going to go there.

And, yeah, it was crazy. Did you go? real bad. You mean, did you go and, like, watch a show first, or did you look up when their open mic was? Like, I'm going to be, like, I was confused why I was only on the open mic. I was like, don't they know I'm funny as fuck? Right. Oh, I didn't know you had to write jokes.

I didn't prepare. I literally thought I could go up and just be funny. How did your first set go? It was terrible. Yeah. It was dead silence. And I suck real bad for a long time. It took me forever to first to realize I had to write jokes.

And then I started doing that. sucked at, but it was like, I'm amazed to how much smarter comedians are. Like, every time I talk to somebody, they're like, wait, you didn't know you had to write jokes? Right, well, okay, on that note. Yeah, I'll be honest, you're coming across pretty dumb. When you...

When you... But when you say... Well, you tell them, I'm like, yeah, when you were 12, you were like, no, I was a sophomore, and I thought that. I had a bachelor from UGA. And I failed out of UGA. But, that's...

But no, so what the... I can see that. When you thought that... When you thought that, before you thought, before you realized you had to write jokes, like, how would you approach it? You'd show up and whenever they'd call you up there and like, you'd just start talking about. Oh, yeah. I was like, oh, look this guy. I had nothing to say about it. Okay. Oh, like, I really didn't think I would be up there. I thought I would be like a video game and I would see myself up there and I could make myself do stuff. Like, I didn't really

occur to me. I'd be making eye contact with people and there'd be a light in my eye and like I'd be sitting there. I know. I know that part. No one started Dumber than me. But that makes, hold on,

but that part actually makes a lot of sense to me. Because I feel like I remember definitely thinking I've got to have jokes and they've got to be a certain structure. That was my thing.

And I'm like copying other people's joke structure. I'm like, da-da-da-da-da-da. But I didn't think about eye contact, lights, an actual person looking back.

You know, but when they laughed, I hadn't thought about that either. It felt fucking great. I knew you had to write jokes, but my thing was, before my first set, all the shit I had in my mind, it was like, these ain't, these are not fucking jokes. You know what I mean? It's like, what is this shit? This isn't, these aren't jokes.

I had a little bit more Caleb and, I was like, God damn, I'll be on TV in a year. This fucking Paul Dean joke is flames, and it was, it just happens to be that what everybody else had read. I thought that exact same thing, and my first show actually really went, it went so fucking well that it confirmed it for me. And then 14 years later still despair. You know what I mean? Like I did? Yeah. No, I came in second in a comedy competition.

But, but now I was 25. I had been wanting to be a stand-up comic since I was 19. And I would watch stand-up and write jokes. So, like, that first five minutes was five years in the making. And then the second five, it was like, woo! It was Bomb City. I hate that this joke about how Justin Timberlake was undercover. He's, like, infiltrated black people.

I have no idea what I was talking about. I mean, I'm listening. that's a premise what was like the turning point for you then was it literally just been like oh shit I guess I got to write jokes and then your jokes were just flames after that or how they're real bad at first I was trying to be like I literally thought I was going to be like Eddie Murphy I didn't realize I'm nothing like him and can't be

and like oh I'm not like him and real I should be like I am I'm not a charming black man right I didn't know and I have zero of his skills that are you know he can sing and dance and like do all this shit uh but i he i liked him so i was like i never occurred to me that that what i would need to do is be me right uh so i was doing like super misogynistic like awful shit like because i thought i didn't realize that what like i don't think blogs had about comedy yet maybe they had i just didn't know i think the first blog ever was about stand-up comedy yeah and how awful it is for society nobody actually wrote it It just evolved out of some sort of primordial fucking goo.

Yeah, well, that's what it is. But yeah, it took a long time for me to have a decent joke that was remotely close to me. Yeah. Probably two, three years ago. Yeah. Yeah, that doesn't make me a while. I was really bad. Like, I don't think, and I still feel so dumb.

Like, can I be honest, I think you are. Fucking funny, though. Yeah, you're hilarious, but you are definitely the stupidest person. than we've ever had on this podcast. The fact that I keep getting away with shit is insane. Like, people just assume, since I'm not tripping every step,

that I must know something. It's the glasses. The glasses do a lot. I've actually, I've wondered this. He's a smart boy. When I, I also, my very first set also, and I mean, look, I had like 14 of my friends in the crowd at this fucking, you know, crowd of maybe 25 people at sidesplitters and Knoxville.

And like, but my first set, went really good and then of course I had plenty shortly thereafter I bombed my ass off but like that first one went great and so it just like in my head it was on you know from that moment and I've wondered before because you said I was so bad for so long or you know what what I've heard other comics say the same thing why what was it that kept you like coming back to it you just knew you wanted to do it just hadn't figured it out yeah I was like I was so cocky at first. Like, while I was bombing in my

first set, I was like, it's pretty funny that I'm this bad. Like, I'm going to be, I'm going to look back on this and be like, boy, did I suck. And I remember about 30 seconds to a minute in, I was like, I can't believe I thought I didn't have to write jokes. What the fuck is wrong with me? Yeah. Like, I remember, I was like, I really thought

Dave Chappelle was just up there being funny. Like, he didn't prepare for years. But yeah, I knew that I was going to do it. I was just like, boy, I thought it would be easier. I didn't realize I was this dumb and this. I was going to start this far behind. I had a rape joke early on.

Oh, shit. Ooh, that was rough. It was quick. It was a quick rape joke. I like the idea that it's still about Justin Timberlake. It's like a Justin Timberlake. It was. I had a joke that was essentially, like, I would define it as stolen now.

But I didn't, I knew not to steal jokes because I'm a human and I know not to steal people's stuff. But I had a line about my friend meeting Palladine and going into a diabetic coma, as soon as he touched her hand. But it was a repurposed idea that Tosh had said on one of his shows. That, to me, I was like, no, no, mine's dead. You know, like, I hadn't been in the culture long enough to, like, you know what I mean? I don't know, it's just crazy to think about all the things I'm ashamed of. Yeah, well, how would you, no one is born, how could you just know that shit out of the box?

Right, and I knew not to do his jokes because I think you should know shit like that out of the box. But it was like, in my mind, it was like, it's funny to think about somebody going to do a diabetic coma just by being in her presence. And I told it differently. But, like, no, that's specific enough that that was his, you know. And what's so crazy is, like, you've just kind of put this in perspective to me. It's like, I don't really know the percentage, but, like, how, what you all just said, like, oh, I just thought you went up there. I just thought that you blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

That's still how at least 30% of every audience here in front of fucking thinks it goes. And so probably more. I just want to be not, like, not everybody, but people will come up to me after shows or us after shows, and they'll say, and I'm just like, I'm sitting around. How fucking dumb could you be? But, like, realistically, it's like, well, Caleb was that stupid. It still is, I think. And so, but he's been in the, like, he had to get in it to learn that.

They've never, you know. We were talking about this the other day, Corey. I've also started looking at that as a compliment. If someone comes up to me and they're like, I can tell they think I just got up there. Oh, it's definitely a compliment. It's like, oh, I really did a good job. It's like a magician. Like, yeah, go with it.

You know, I hope you think that this works. Okay. Yes. But at the same time. I want them to know that I worked for 14 years to get this good. Instead of, like, I just happen. Some people just have this magical gift, and we just go up there and it takes no work whatsoever. So, like, there's both.

There's like, part of me wants you to think I'm this magical little savant fairy. But the other part of me is like, no, no, no, I need you to know that it took me 14 years to even know how to talk like this. Yeah. Well, it's like you see a ripped guy and you're like, obviously it works out. But, I mean, you know. He was born with a little bit of that. He's probably born with like a six-pack. He made a eight.

I'm curious. I don't want to skip too far ahead. Well, I actually, I did want to, I was going to, I'm a terrible interviewer. We're all terrible interviews. I wanted to circle back because I want to know. We all sat over here and are staring at it. Yeah. Well, that's just the layout of this shitty room that we're in. But your audience members, it's the last supper and Caleb is the meal right now.

Yeah. So, in going back to your hometown when you're growing up, like, I would imagine, like, how, how redneck was, Was it? And where did you fit into all that growing up there? It was pretty redneck. I mean, like, we had cows in our backyard. They weren't ours. That's where the pasture ended. Yeah. So they would jump into our yard all the time.

Paulus. It was so redneck, y'all had jumping cows? Jumping cows. They wanted our shit. Yeah. And I, as a kid, one of my chores was when cows were in the yard, I had to shoot them with a BB gun. until they jump back over the fence. Right. Which is like, I thought everyone did. Yeah, yeah.

I realized when I said that out loud in L.A., people like, what? Right, right. But yeah, like, we chopped wood to heat our house. And, like, my dad loves this is like an old days guy. Yeah. So, yeah, like, I did all the redneck shit. Was it by choice with your dad, the old day shit? Like, did he move there from Atlanta to get away from it all?

Or did, was your family got deep roots in your community? Well, that's where he grew up, too. So it was like that same area. But, yeah, I mean, it was, everybody. I mean, I always kind of like, was like,

it's almost to say that realizing more as I get older, like, oh, I really did grow up like super redneck. Right. I thought everyone wanted to be a comedian. I just thought, I was surprised people didn't want to.

I thought everybody wanted to. I was like, why wouldn't you want Seinfeld's job? That seems fun. Were you like weird and shit, or like viewed as weird by like the other kids you went to school with or whatever? Like, were you the fucking weird kid

that is into this weird shit and is, you know, uh, queer let's say or anything like that you were queer yeah we were all we were queer too i was called queer yeah uh but uh like i i was in the i was in the smart class but i wasn't smart right i think we all established that um and i wasn't athletic i tried every sport and failed i was in plays yeah and shit i was a preacher's kid so that's already like for a preacher's kid i was doing

okay yeah you know i wasn't uh your whole life yeah like yeah he's always been a preacher and uh And, like, I wasn't the super rebellious one because no one ever, I didn't get invited to one party. You had a slutty sister? As far as I know, no. But how would I know? How would you know that? I believe people let you know. You'll know.

I don't think so. I don't think so. They're nice. I ain't talking about you, Paige. I'm just saying. I'm not talking about you. You had a rebellious sibling or two, though? I mean.

I had one. I'm a preacher's kid. We were, we're not rebellious for normal preachers kids, but for our, for like, Pentecostal holiness for that church. Yeah. Like someone, when I did stand up one time, there's a YouTube video and they could see a beer on the stage. I got, like, messages from people where they were like, we had no idea that you, and like,

you know. They stopped messaging me. They're so conservative that, like, you know, anything is over the line. So where are you, like, what's that like now? Is it just, you just put all that shit, you're just separated. And I don't mean your parents necessarily, but like the people that would send you messages like that, or just like that community you grew up in, if you just totally separated from that at this point?

Like, they gave up sending you messages, or is it still like a thing with you? I mean, they, I still go to that church when I'm back home. Yeah. Like, you can't not with my family. Okay. So if I'm home on a Sunday or Wednesday, I go with them. And I think they've realized like, well, he's not in a gutter. he's getting on TV

and he still comes back here and he's in a good mood and he still goes and I'm like, yeah, you know, I just like to have fun. But I think some of them aren't cool but most of them seem to have given up by now and be like, I guess that's him. It's working for him.

I talk about my dad being a preacher. He thinks it's great. It's funny that they came to see us in Knoxville and mom told me after she was laughing because at some point she got done praying for me while I was on stage making fun. making fun of them and she looked over and dad was praying for me. Oh, wow.

Which I think is like super sweet. But then I got an uncle who like wrote me this long message basically on behalf of my father. Like how disrespectful it was for me to be doing this stuff or whatever. And I don't, I just, I'm just making it about me and my uncle. You want to help me out with that a little bit? I think that's, uh, I mean, my dad, once I started to make money, he was like, well, if you got a job and about half of it is making fun of me, and that's fine. Yeah. As long as I'm not Bill Mar, I think he's happy.

If I were like, my dad's a fucking dumb piece. If I was doing that and being like, God's not real, then I think he'd be a little upset. Yeah, you should imagine how my family would fit. Oh, yeah. Like, that's, because with you, you are something I could never be, which is extremely hilarious without being a complete, mischievous, deviant bastard. You know what I'm saying? So, like, I can see them being able to wrap their, go, okay, well, he's really, really funny.

He's making it. But he's, you know, he's not, you're right. He's not up there doing that. My shit, dude, people have just absolutely in my community written me smoothed the fuck off. Because to them, I am Bill Maher. You know what I mean? I may as well be that motherfucker. I'm a Hollywood liberal elite that's just, you know, fat, bald and stupid.

But they don't know any of that part. I like how, like, we're like the least elite four people ever. Who can think we're elite? For sure. Yeah, but just being on a fucking coast, you know, like plump you're in that same category. So. Stay away from it. Well, I...

If you live near water, you suck dead. Yeah. Why? Fucking beta cuck. Oceans are gay because I'm saying everybody knows oceans are gay. I don't know why. It's always a, uh, you look at the election map. It's a lot of, a lot of water.

Uh, so, well, you live out here with all the water loving dick suckers. now so well we got our podcast name i love and dixon what i don't mean this episode i mean we need to rebrand yeah uh

and you know as do i at this point but you've got like a year and a half or so on me so how do you like tell us about it from your experience how's it been for you how do you i mean why la uh well i came i wanted to move to new york because i you know a signfield it's it really goes back to watching Seinfeld as a kid. And I thought that's what...

I didn't realize they made Seinfeld here. I know. Like, that was on it. That's a pretend apartment. Mm-hmm. And a pretend skyline. And then I guess eventually I was like, well, I want to do a lot of the stuff that's in L.A. You were just so dumb, though.

Oh, dude, I thought that was... I think that a lot of people had known. I feel like Forrest Gump, uh, doing... Like, I'm not mean. I'm a nice guy. But I'm not, I'm not smart. I'm definitely... No one's...

no one's ever like, oh, I can't believe Caleb knew that, and I didn't. Like, if you didn't know it, I didn't know. Has it always been the case? Yeah, I've always kind of been, I can't synthesize information quickly. But once I figure it out, I'm pretty, I can do it. But it takes me so long to figure your shit. Like, you can't, like, if someone's, like, you ever, you know when you go to, like, a meeting and shit? Yeah.

And it's in one of those Hollywood buildings. And they go, okay, go by the desk and go in the elevator, go up. And then you take a lot. Anything more than two. steps you better tell you better tell me three or four times i cannot i never get anything on the first i'm that person with emotions like i'm just screaming at a wall and my wife's like do you not see how this is what you did yesterday and i'm like yes i do now that you pointed it out but i still i'm not done screaming

at something stupid yeah sorry my girl me and my girlfriend it's the same way like if she'll tell me something and in a year i will have processed that emotion yeah okay so you want to to go to New York because of Seinfeld then where was the turn what happened well we visited L.A. and I was like oh I really enjoyed it and the people out here and all the people that wanted to do anything with me

and like work with me were here and that kind of seemed like a sign like you want to get in with the people that want to work with you right and literally no one in New York wanted that sort of their M.O. Yeah it's sincerely the default there I found that

I was better at that culture as a comic no one wanted to work with anywhere. Because it was like New York, it was like, no, no, no, no, no, till it's yes. And when I came out here and visited, it was, yeah, probably, maybe. It always was fucking no. It was just people being polite. And I'm like, I'm better with the 19 knows, but they meant yes on the 18th time than I am with the L.A. stuff, you know. Right. As a young comic.

Now I'm happy to be moving out here soon. Yeah, I love it. For me, it was just very simple. You know, my agents are here, my managers are here. Well, we skipped, so you were in Atlanta for a little while, and that's where you got all these agents and all that. Yeah, I got Montreal out of there, and all the people that gave me shots and wanted to work with me, everybody was out here. I assume Atlanta's still a great scene. But I feel like your class, for lack of a better way to phrase it, was really is still killing it and was really, like when I first started knowing about all you. you guys separately. I was like, what the fuck

is, why did I not go to Atlanta? I'm actually glad I did. We didn't know at the time. We thought that was, that just seemed normal. Like every Monday at Starbar would be like me, Rob Hayes, Clayton English, Noah Garden Schwartz, Andy Sanford, Dave Stone. Like, it was insane.

Shalewa, all these people. Like, it was an amazing staying cookies. We talk about that stay-eating cookies jokes of heard. You know that one? Oh, yeah. The cookie monster. He's staying cookies. We talk about it all the time. All day, aired.

All day, every day. Yeah, but, yeah, that class is, like, crazy. And we had no idea. We thought that was normal. And, like, now I'm like, that's nuts that we... And I live with Noah at Garden Schwartz. I lived in his house. Didn't he just win an Emmy?

I think so. I think so. But, yeah, that was so... And, like, Clayton, like... Me and Clayton did shitty gigs, took Megabus 2 and stuff. And, like, it's really crazy. It was a really cool... Like, when I lived with Noah, I had no money.

And he was like, all right, well, if you just kind of work for me and do everything I say, you can live here for a few months. So I would walk his dog, I would move furniture, I would cut his grass pool. Like, I was literally like his, it was like an indentured servant to live with him. I would imagine Noah, like, hitting a bowl. Oh, yeah. And then being like, fucking move that desk over there. He don't talk like a redneck.

I don't know why I made him red, but, you know. No, it was great. He really whipped me into show. He'd be like, you have a show tonight? I'd be like, you're coming to one with me. and like he would like he really took me to like comedy boot camp and uh he told me all my jokes were bad like helpful stuff where he's like these are all dick and pussy jokes Caleb you're better than that and like you know I'm like doing push-ups but uh he was it was amazing it was a great uh I'm so glad

that that I just kind of stumbled into that scene and I literally moved there and had no place to be like I just got in my car and moved there yeah stayed with Noah for a while and like it's crazy that it worked out especially like with my zero information. Right. Yeah, especially with your brain and how that was all going up there. But it was helpful because I was so dumb. I was like, I got $10 in my bank account.

It'll probably be fine. No credit card. Like, if anything went wrong, I could have, you know what I mean? Like, but I thought it was fine. I was like, I got 10 bucks. That really is some forced gump shit, dude. You're just fucking gumping your way through. It's awesome.

Two hours. Yeah, about, yeah. At least you weren't. It wasn't like death. It would be fine. Things work out. Right. And they did.

It's crazy that they did. It's insane to me how many people gave me a shot based on like... Nothing. What was like the first like giving you a shot thing that happened for you? Like the first one of those moments like that? Well, the Laughing Skull was super. They kind of took me under their wing and those guys really helped me out. They booked me a lot and they made me the resident there.

They let me sleep on their couches and stuff. and it was like crashing but nothing bad had happened. I was just an idiot. I wasn't going through a breakup. They were just like, Caleb's going to die. We don't give him shelter and food. Did you tell him? Were you like walking him like, hey, I'm Caleb.

I'd like to do the open mic. Also, I don't have a house. No, I just, I think people figured it out. Someone would be like, can I get a ride? And then they'd get in my car and they'd be like, you live in here? And I'd be like, yeah. And they'd be like, is that bummed you out? and I was like, no, like, I had no idea.

It was so happy. It was like a gold retriever as a fucking comedian in Atlanta. Yeah, right. Yeah, and I ate peanut butter in my car. Yeah. And I remember Marshall that owns The Laughing School, he was like, what do you just hang out in Starbucks all day? And I was like, yeah.

He's like, what is that where you jerk off? And I go, yeah, you go in the bathroom. And he's like, Caleb, you got a, you got to, like. Drive down to the river and get the back of your car. But yeah, and he, and I worked, Jimmy John's out there and I was delivering sandwiches on a bike and Marshall like bought me a backpack. He was like, you got to, Caleb, you don't have anything. You literally don't own anything.

And I was like, yeah, that's fine. That's all need anything. And he's like, Caleb. And everybody kind of helped me out. And I was 19. I didn't know anything. And I got in the festival there and that's where I got Montreal and everything. It was like insane. How old were you when that happened? I was 24. Okay. So you put in about five years in that scene in Atlanta? around that and then

that was just the craziest shit ever. Did Montreal and I got, I woke up the next morning hung over. They had that open bar and I had like 12 margarias. Yeah. I woke up, like I did a set up there and then I woke up and the Conan Booker was like, you want to do Conan? And I was like, yeah. I was just like,

life's easy. I was like, how is this keep working? It's just insane. It's like this can't be really how it works. Well, but like you skip the five years. you put in working in Atlanta in that story. Yeah, but it seems like he was just fucking loving it the whole time. That's what's different about you is when you're living in the car

working at Jimmy Johns and you don't own a back. Most comics are like, yeah, man, it was fucking haggard out there. And you're like, oh, it was pretty cool, man. I didn't have an address, you know. No one had to give me mail. I hate mail. Oh, man, my first apartment in Atlanta, it was me and three other companies. It was a two-bedroom, one bath.

Who all? It was Brian Emon, Craig Holwell. are in Austin Shardak. I know Austin. The room was, my room was smaller than this, and we had room for a bit. There wasn't room for two beds.

And I was like, we still got to split it, because I'm not paying more than $200 to live. And so I got an army cot and slept. It was like a one foot, you know what I was? That's just where I slept for like a year. And Yadoye was in Atlanta at the time,

and I moved out of that apartment. And he was like, you're not taking that cot with you, are you? And I was like, no. And then he slept on the cot. Like, he was, like, thrilled to have one. But, yeah, it was just insane. So was it after Montreal?

Is that when you moved out or decided to move out here? I moved here, like, a couple weeks before Montreal. Okay. Which I didn't realize how helpful that was at the time. But, yeah, I was just like, L.A.'s good. It would be cool. Then I would do Montreal. Like, I didn't, I didn't even understand Montreal.

I thought Montreal was another festival. I had no idea it was like the thing. Yeah. You got a car now? No, I had one, but right now no car. Because I remember when I, you had just moved out here and I came out here just to do a couple shows or whatever, and we were both at Westside in Santa Monica. And I was just like, shit, what's up, dog? How's it going?

Whatever? And I was talking to you, and you know, just like you've been this whole time, yeah, it's fucking great. It's awesome. And then I was asking talking about the traffic or whatever. You're like, well, I don't have a car. I just sort of, you know, I just sort of tool around, whatever. I was like, I was like, because I'd always just hurt, like, that's just like a thing you hear.

It's like, oh, in L.A., you got to, in New York, nobody has a car in L.A., you got to have a car. And I was like, you ain't got a car? He's like, yeah, it's fine. You know, it's like, oh, okay. People don't, uh, there's some people, like, a lot of the rules are made by people who can't tolerate anything. So I'm like, you can live in L.A.

A car just kind of blows. Right. A lot of people don't have them. Right. They think you, if you don't have a car, they kick you out. Right. Make you live in Arizona. Like, you can not have a car.

It's just kind of, you know, you've got to plan your day pretty carefully. Yeah, a lot about living in New York and talking to people, especially back home about it. I realize the conversation is not about how weird my life is. It's just about how different it is from them and what you just said. Yeah. It's like, yeah, I understand that you couldn't tolerate having that many roommates while you're married and 30 years old, and there's a lady next door who keeps throwing a cat over the fence or whatever. This is your cat.

No, it's not. but like, you know, I can't tolerate everyone goes to the same fucking church, including the mayor. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. It's just... Right. All about what you're cool with. I love Bill Bursting when he's like, yeah, places are different.

And he's like, why would you ever go anywhere if it's not exactly the same? Right, right. Cities are different. The things are, you know. But L.A., I mean, there is a, like, I told someone that the other day. I was like, yeah, I'm about to get on the train, and they're like, train. Like one of my friends. I'm pretty sure I said that to you during that.

conversation you were like i took a train some times i got trains out here yeah but yeah so it's like a secret or something i have heard and i've always up you'd be the perfect person to ask a lot of people like it's it's way more dangerous the la train at night you don't do that is that bullshit i feel like that's bullshit well i am a six-foot-tall man so like right i have that's the world i live in yeah if i was a woman i don't think i'd be doing that shit uh which i think is the terrible reality of life but i think it's true like sure i mean I mean, I'm sure there might be a gang initiation. I don't even know if that's true where they just go kill a random person, but I don't know.

I don't think I look like I got money or anything to offer anybody. No, no, no, you absolutely do not. I think people see me on the train and they're like, ugh. That idiot. I don't know. But I like it. I download podcasts. I get my songs.

I just remembered about Muse. You guys know Muse? Math rock. Yeah. That's what I called. I forgot all about them. I downloaded them this week. I mean, listen to that.

on the train. I listen to it all the way here. It's great. Math rock. That's what I call meuse. You don't know who meuse is? They're really technically Like a lot of guitar cellos that it's every note in the alphabet. Alphabet. Alpha, fuck. Alphabet. It is awful. I don't think I...

It is offline. Tell me about it. Fucking letters. I don't think I'm bent of that or I'm the first person to apply that to them, Corey. No, no, yeah. I don't... Yeah, yeah. It's a thing. They're definitely like that. It's a lot of shit about that. Like, they'll do a song about foreign policy. see you're like all right muse

let's call me out the national is mine and tray's version of that where it's like okay another song about picking apples but really it's about your marriage falling apart we get it dude yeah but fucking love them though love them so you're digging it you're still digging it

uh going on was three years three years in yeah i mean um honestly though it's like like Atlanta didn't stop existing when I moved like I still love going back I live there for three years have been here three. I think about New York sometimes.

I'd love to live there at some point for a while and see what it's like. You know, you hear about those people that go to England and then all of a sudden they blow up is like, it's the England comedian who's from the States. And like, I've thought about that. Like that'd be fun to live in England for a while. What's her name? She's Canadian. Catherine Ryan, yeah.

God, she's so funny. Yeah, yeah. She did that. And it's like, apparently Dennis Leary did that. I know Alex Edelman, he gets a lot of shit out there. Yeah, there's. been a few of those comics that go to Bill Hicks back in the day

I mean there for a minute. Oh yeah, that's where he first A little bit right. I'm like that would be pretty I feel like I do pretty well out of my out of I guess fish out of water or whatever. So it's fun to be like I have to edit it when I go back home.

Like when I go home and do a show I got to change all the premises because my premises will be like my favorite bit now is how I used to say supper and now I say dinner because I live in L.A. And now I have to remember to be like

to flip it because I'm like, no, I'm back in the South. I'm not telling them about the South. We're here. So, you know? Right. So I think it'd be fun. You know, I always think about it. I don't know how many cities I would live, I don't think I could stand to live in a place without a scene.

But maybe New York, London, or I don't know how many other places have it. I still feel like an idiot where I'm like, where else is their comedy? I still really. I mean, I don't. Apparently fucking Amsterdam. Tom Rhodes did that. Yeah. He had that bid on that first Comedy Central Presents about taking mushrooms because he had a headache in Amsterdam, and it was like his closer.

And it got so popular there that they invited him over to like, he just moved there. And there's a bunch of improv there. It moved to Amsterdam. All right. Also, prostit. I'll just show up with $10 in a bike. Amsterdam, you can. If it works there, too, I'm going to be like, this world is pretend.

It can't keep working. Because it's prostitutes in Amsterdam, right? It is. They're here, too. Yeah, I know. but I know that but like you can like What if it'd have been like

What? I just mean like in Amsterdam you can go to like They have a Is it Amsterdam that just started the Red Light District? You can you can drive up to it's a sex hut or something You drive up You drive up

You're trying to tell me the Red Light District's gone corporate They've got a franchise I'm not kidding And dude No dude police Police sit there and do security for it So you drive up That's protecting the girls

you drive up and you just pick out you know well the red light district a warmer is you walk through it and they're standing in windows the way that like a clothing shop would have windows and there's police there

this is a fucking drive-thru sex hut into the window so it's like and then you take them up and you just there's a little room you go in they sanitize it they say they sanitize it

right afterwards and then you just go in there and you plow it out and then you get back in your car and you just fucking boy he's so embarrassing to accidentally fuck the person at the first window and they're like

no you have fuck the next is this is where you pay. He's paying. So, you think over there, those are like the, you know,

like the chain restaurants of, you know, the sex, it's like, they're like pizza places. That's a fucking, yeah. Sex hut.

Senigans. Yeah. Domahos. Oh, Charlie's. They're getting worse. Oh, Charlie's.

This is like a ludicrous song. Oh, Charlie. He did leave that out. We went to one of those roundabouts on our honeymoon, me and Andy. We went to a bunch of places over there, but we went to Amsterdam.

We went to the Red Light District, and they had one of those where it's like a... There's a circle, and there's a girl in there, she's about to put a show on, and then there's rooms all around her in a circle, like looking in, and you pay the money, and the thing comes down. And that was strange to me, because I could see her doing her show, but

there was just somebody behind her looking back at me. Oh, God, yeah. I don't want to see eyes. It was intense. No. That's one of the thing I was... Some strip clubs... I don't know why I'm acting like I was uncomfortable. We had sex.

I was very comfortable with it, actually. But I could see how other people might not be. Man, I saw Roy Scoville the other night. He had this bit about, like, pitching an orgy to someone else. He'd be like, no, it's cool. You know, we come. We all come. He's like, you'll have fun.

I think you'll like it. It's like fucking. Just the simplest person was ever, but it's like killing. He's so fun. He's insanely fucking funny. We all come. It's fun. Yeah, it's good time. So, while you're talking, I know you're saying like, I'd be cool with moving, but like, are you, like, playing?

Yeah, are you, like, looking at moving? Are you still like. Well, I moved here. It was not that planned out. Right. I don't like planning stuff. Yeah, I gather that. So he's saying, no, that hasn't popped in my mind, but you guys just made me thought.

He's just about to drive from here to take a train from here to the airport and just like, like, a little. live in a couple days. We'll see. I would like to at some point live a bunch of places, you know? Yeah. I don't know how many places are cool, but I didn't expect to like L.A. this month. I don't know how many places are cool. How many places are cool?

Probably four or five. But I think it would also be fun to a, like, if, you know, if I get a show or something and they film in Atlanta, it'll be so fun to live there again for a while, like with a cool thing there. Fucking A. Without a doubt. They make a lot of shit there. They make a shitload of stuff there. I went to Canada last year with my buddy Adam.

We went to like half of them. What part of it? And St. John's Newfoundland and stuff. And I was like, I mean, there was comedy there. I was like, I could, you know, maybe not for a long time. But I was like, if I, I would love to go there for like a reason. You know, like, have you done, have you done stand up there outside of JFL in Canada? Yeah.

Well, a lot of it is my buddy Adam is a, he's pretty connected in Canada. We did a tour up there one time, and it was amazing. He's like, people kind of know him there. He wrote for, like, the Canadian Daily show. Oh, right on. He did warm. He hosted, like, a kid show. He, like, kind of is known there.

Yeah. Boy, it was just, Canada's great. Yeah, we tell a shit about it in school. They just told us it's cold. That's true. Now, now. Yeah, it's awesome. They're like, it's cold.

It's full of queer. That's what they said. That's what they said. That's what teachers would say. And then they'd lead the class in prayer. Yeah. Learn about Georgia some more. Yeah.

we had a we did a run up through like the west some western canadian we did Vancouver Calgary and Edmonton yeah we've been talking about me a lot what are you how well yeah you're the guest motherfucker that's how these work everywhere because of the internet like it's not like a show that just airs here like people know you guys well I mean you say everywhere I think it's pretty much and I wanted you to I wanted you to you know you say us but really it's me and I wanted you to say that uh No, dude, don't get me wrong. Yes, it's fucking insane.

But it also varies. It can be regions. Wildly. Really? Oh, yeah. Like, because, like, we just did, we did a theater in Louisville, the Brown Theater. And there was, like, when there are, like, 1,200 people there or something? Oh, my God.

Which is fucking great, obviously. We do a comedy club in Syracuse and there, you know, or, help, Buffalo, New York. We had a weekend. We did a whole weekend in one of the shows, there was literally. literally 12 people there or whatever. And so, like, I mean, it really depends on where we're at, where we're at and whatever. And so, I mean, it's kind of all over the place. But, I mean, yeah, it's pretty rad.

And going to Canada was one of those times where it was like, and they were, those weren't theater shows. Those were like club shows, but like people showed up and that was wild to me. Like, even in Canada, you know, like, and I say even in Canada, because it's just like, it's like America, but not, you know what I mean? Like, it's not full on other part of the. the world, but it still, it was wild to me. People knowing who I am in Canada.

To throw you off. Yeah. Right. You open the fridge and you're like, I've never seen one of these labels. They got their own milk thrown. Right. What is all? Everything's Canadian.

Yeah. They look similar, but it's like, you know the Christian t-shirts? It'll be like a Starbucks logo. Yes. Yeah. It's like that. It is like that. It's kind of a mind fuck.

You're like, everything's weird. One of the, and one of my favorite heckler stories, it wasn't me. It was Drew's set in vain. Vancouver. He does this bit or he has this bit about being a football player in high school. And this guy, what do you see? He's like, oh, yeah, right, or something like that. I was talking about, uh, oh. It was being a football player. It was about being, and when I went to college, things were different. College football got more intense. And we were talking about being called queer earlier. The joke was that my nickname in college was,

liberal faggot. And like, it's a punch line and it comes at the end. So people laugh. And this dude just goes, what fucking school? And I go, what, what, and like, I think he just was curious. He didn't say what fucking. He just said, what school? I think he just wanted to know, like, is it one I've heard of? But I took it as like, you didn't play football. What school, you know?

So I was like, I was like a Division III school. I'm not very good, sir. Like, I'm not coming here, shit, you know, whatever. And you go, you go, I thought people of Canada were supposed to be fucking nice. Yeah. And he goes, sort of. Sorry. Super loud where everybody in the room could hear it.

And like, the whole crowd started dying laughing. He's fought, yeah, because it's like he heckled him. Drew goes back at him hard. Like, yeah, what the fuck? I thought Canada's supposed to be plus. Shit, fuck. And it's like quiet for a minute. I've been heckled this whole tour.

I come to Canada. You guys are supposed to be polite. And now this dude's questioning my credentials. And then he said that, sorry. I fell into the other thing. Sorry. And I was like, I don't know you're going to hit me with your national motto or just whatever. And then they laughed.

and it was great and all that. Where were we going with this, try? I forgot. Well, he had just mentioned Canada, and I was just, you know, I had a... I had a... I did the Comedy Nest up there. Was that at?

In Montreal. Yeah, okay. We haven't been in Montreal. One of the heckles... A woman heckled and said she was going to eat my ass, and I was like, see, this is... That's one of the nicest heckles I've ever. Yeah.

Like, that's them, like, taking me down a peg. I'm like, that's kind of a nice thing to do. Taking you down the peg. The weirdest one for me, you're asking about, we went to see the drive-by truckers. Oh, hell yeah. And they know who Trey is, and now they know us all. So that was weird and of itself. This kid, it's a music festival, an outdoor one.

This child goes, walks up, taps Trey. Excuse me, I'm sorry, sir. Can I take my picture with you? And that was like, for me, that was like, what? Because it's one thing for, like, a 50-year-old mamaw from a tiny town, who is like us to know about, you know what I mean, to like really be into, but this is just a kid. It was a trucker's show. It was in Kentucky. There's parts that make sense. But that for me, I was like, fuck, that's, it still blows my mind.

That's, how's far, how, what's the craziest thing where you're like, I cannot believe these people know, like, were you're farthest away or something? Or was there a moment where you're like, Morgan Freeman? Yeah, that's pretty crazy. That was the craziest for me. Yeah, for sure. If you mean at a show, the, I mean, the biggest show we've ever done was in Austin, Texas, which I know Austin, Texas is arguably the liberal redneck capital of the world. You know, like, that totally checks out. But it was still, what was like the first, like, big show?

It was Dallas, Texas. We sold out the Texas theater in Dallas, which is like, what did you say, 800? And that was kind of early. Probably Harvey Oswald. Yeah. And that was very, very surreal. Honestly, man. Actually, actually, dude.

The very first... Now, they were American and, like, their mom lived, but, like, they timed it to go to the show. That was cool. The very first show of the tour was at the punchline in Atlanta. And fucking... Because, like, man, we booked this first week-long, like, trial run of this. tour just to see if it would work out and the first night of that was at the punchline

and like and I was really yeah from our day jobs yeah and I was like really sweating it because I was like okay I got all these views or whatever but like they ain't nobody gonna like buy a fucking ticket and leave their house and come to the show like I really was sweating it and then we

had to add a second show that night they ended up both selling out fucking George Wallace came and did a set there and hung out afterwards and everything and like our podcast. And it was just, so that was the very first night of the tour. So, I mean, like, it was pretty quickly, I mean, you know, I'm sure you, it's not surprising, I guess, the shit that happened to me.

It was pretty quickly fucking nuts. You know what I mean? Like, how long was it from when that video blew up to this tour? That was from when the video blew up to that show at the punchline in Atlanta was, yeah, not a month. months, three weeks, something like that. We had a manager and we had, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. And I say that to say like, there was someone who was immediately like, this is how we do it and

we've got contacts and boom, boom, boom. And then we had sets. That's another thing that you probably understand, but like some people who don't know us don't understand in the comedy world. Like, yeah, Trey blew up on the internet, but we've been around a while. We were working our own angle. You know, we were trying to come up the old-fashioned way. Yeah, you were the old-fashioned way.

start it's not like the YouTube people exactly well what I'm saying is to a lot of people we are the YouTube people well they just don't know yeah when and like and I that's the thing like that bothers me but I don't hold it against anybody because like why would they think anything else you know but I'm

also saying that that's why we could do it in three weeks I feel like if you found out Chewbacama mom was funny as fuck right holy shit but I was I was most of the same that's another reason it could happen that quickly it was like just when you get a week off and when is there

dates available? We already had somebody who had contacts and blah, blah, blah, blah. I wanted to say, I don't know if I sent you all this tweet. We were just talking about George Wallace and for anybody that doesn't, on our podcast, it doesn't fuck with George Wallace's Twitter. I just wanted to read this tweet. I want to read this tweet is the other day. It was right when the

Concappernik ad came out, George said, I want to thank Hush Puppies for still making me the spokesperson for their new Arch Support 720 Velcro, easy stroll loafers with odor gone, many sense despite my past verbal attacks against so many people's ugly ass mamas.

So if you're not fucking, I know you may know George from back in the day and think, oh, he's a legend, blah, blah, blah, but if you don't follow his Twitter, God damn, please get on his Twitter. That's fucking great. That is funny. So, but, you know, we're a wrap up here in a minute.

So tell us what you fucking got going on, man. Tell us about it. Well, I'm just going to hang out outside of a club and see what happens. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's so weird. My dad said that when I moved L.A., he was like, see if Conan will put you up.

And I did Conan a month later. And he was like, Dad, that's not how I go. I didn't just go hang out there. But to him, it really is funny because, like, you, I tried to tell me, it just doesn't work out like that, yet you have done several things where it seemed like it does work out like that.

Yeah, lastcomstanding. I emailed lastcomicstanding at gmail. I sent him a tape, and I did the show. I didn't have a manager and agent I just I had no idea that would work they emailed right back and were like where do you live? All right

What season? That was the last 2015 You got a great attitude Oh yeah they did need some people for sure But like But like For everybody listening For the record again

Caleb is also Insanely fucking hilarious So like that's I tell people about your tie cob bit All the goddamn time Thanks So I mean that also Like you know

That's a lot of I mean it's insane saying, yeah, that they even watched, you know, like that shit that you sent them. Yeah, that's crazy. But, like, when they watched it, you know, of course I allered back at you. Because you're fucking great, buddy. Does your dad, like, feel vindicated, though? Because you did just move out here and then do Conan a month later? Well, sometimes I'm like, I should think like my dad more often. I think about that, yeah? Yeah, because I'm like, no one's doing that. No one out here is thinking like my dad. And I think it kind of helps me kind of maneuver around certain people.

because it's like it's crazy to do it my dad no one is doing that so it kind of helps you stand out a little bit people are like you think this asshole just sent us a tape yeah right I don't even know this

I guessed that was their email I did not know and uh was that your first guess or did you do a lot did you do also at Yahoo it is some gunk shit but it is truly some gump

I want you to know I knew what you meant because I can already tell that fruit company Well, one less thing. One less thing. One less thing, the Caleb Simon story. That's it. But, yeah, we'll see what happens.

You know, I'm fucking with some shit. Well, you got anything like, I'm fucking with some shit. Well, the reason I ask that. Yeah, dog. I'm fucking some shit out of here. Hey, I'll fuck with you back. I do think that, like, I feel that sometimes, though. There's like, not my mom and dad, but other people.

people back home who do support me. They're like, hey, I see you guys, one of the view. Good call. Like, I was like, good call. I've been saying you should do that. It's like, yeah, okay, thank. Like, they, now that I am doing, like, I have a career, they're like, yeah.

And I'm like, you don't know, okay, fine, whatever. Well, it's so weird. It's like, that's why I do the comedy tips. I'll be like, get on TV. But it's like, that is true. It's not a bad tip. So, okay, that's so funny. said that because as you were explaining me how

fucking stupid you are, I was like them tweets Caleb keeps putting up are not ironic at all. Which I know they are, but like that, I was like he just, that's crazy. If you see seen this shit, they're so fucking great. It would be so funny to me if you were just like, no, those weren't ironic.

What does that mean? Well, most ironic tweets I do, I did think that. And then I found out the real thing. And then I was like, well, the first thing I thought is pretty funny. Now that I know it's wrong? It's a good joke. The first three years of Caleb's career,

he was just saying stupid stuff that he believed. Oh, no, for real. I'd be at parties drunk, and I would say what I thought, and everyone would laugh, and I'd just write that down and be like, I guess I'm wrong. Because everyone laughed real hard, and then I'd say it on stage, and it would kill. I'd be like, my actual thoughts are jokes.

My actual sincerely held beliefs are hilarious. hilarious to people. Oh, that's fantastic. Corey's got a little bit of that in him. He does. That's true. He does have a little bit of that name. So, uh, well, tell us where, you know, tell the people where they can find you at,

where they can check your shit out. On the train. Uh, last name is S-Y-N-A-N. Just, uh, if you can't remember that, just type in Caleb Conan and you can find me on Conan and follow me off those videos and off all that shit. But, uh, yeah, Caleb, signing. Caleb, signing. I tweet, booty had me like memes.

If you like that kind of shit. I'd tweet some comedy tips and, you know, my thoughts that aren't ironic, but you might think they are. I don't know. Hell yeah. I have some fun. No, he's, again, fucking fantastically funny, so check him out, everybody. Check me out. I'll post the picture I took of all y'all laying on the bed.

Looking like shit. Yeah, please do, buddy. Okay, thanks, bro. Thanks for doing it. Up top, red. Well, red. Hell, yeah, that hits. Yeah.

Scoo! Thank you all for listening to the well-read show. We'd love to stick around longer, but we got to go. Tune in next week if you got nothing to do. Thank you, God bless you, good night and skew.