wellRED podcast - #91 - The Boys Review The Midterms (With Special Guest Peter Revello!)

Episode Date: November 7, 2018

On this episode The wellRED dummies review the Midterms (while watching them live for the most part) with our special guest, the good buddy Peter Revello.Peter is a hilarious comic from Staten Island and we were lucky enough to have him with us this week working on a special wellRED project (coming soon!) and since he was here anyways we figured we'd make him share in our misery about some of these elections and what not!We also talk about stand up comedy a little of course, Pete's Character "Straight Pete", and we read some fan tweets!! Follow Peter on Instagram and Twitter @peter_revellowellREDcomedy.com for ticketsPeterRevello.comSmokeyboysgrilling.com for some meat rubs!CarveVodka.com to Get Drunk Like The CHO! 

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion, because used to you, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie, I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now. Skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people. People across the ske universe, I should say. Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year?

Do you even know? Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery? Getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low mane? Because that's a thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better, and it's called Rocket Money.

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I used Rocket Money and realized that I had apparently been paying for two different language learning services that I just wasn't using. So I was probably like, I should know Spanish. I'll learn Spanish. and I've just been paying to learn Spanish without practicing any Spanish for, you know, pertinent two years now or something like that. Also, a fun one, I'd said it before,

but I got an app, lovely little app where you could, you know, put your friend's faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies. You know, those weren't a little like the Q-ball looking twin fellas. Yeah, so that was money.

What was that a reply gift for? Just when I did something stupid. Something fat, I think, and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first, but then I quit using it and was still paying for it and forgotten. If it wasn't for Rocket Money, I never would have even figured it out. So shout out to them.

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Okay. What's up everybody? It's your boy the show well read comedy.com. W-E-L-R-E-D comedy.com. Spelled just like the podcast. That's where you can find all of our tour dates by our book, The Liberal Redneck Manifesto, Dragon Dixie Out of the Dark. sign up for our newsletter so you know where we're going to be before anybody else

and buy some sweet merch and all that other bullshit. Anyways, here's our remaining 2018 tour dates. November 15th, we're in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, then the next day in Northampton, Massachusetts, and then... November 20th, we'll be in Kalamazoo, Michigan. That's not true at all. No, I made that up. Oh, okay.

Well, that's a good thing to do. Confused people. Yeah, yeah, with lies. Well, that is the theme for the day. So November 29th through December 2nd, we're going to be at the Washington DC Improv. Then on December 13th and 14th, Kansas City, Missouri, December 15th and 16th, St. Louis, Missouri, December 20th through the 23rd. Nashville, Tennessee at Zanies, those are our homecoming shows that we're super pumped about. Can't wait to see you guys.

So go to well-read comedy.com. December 25th will be at church. Yeah, that's for sure, because of Jesus. Church on Jesus' birthday. It being his birthday. Okay. So as always, this portion is brought to you by

Smokey Boysgrilling.com. Go to Smokey Boysgrilling.com to get all the rubs for all you meats. Also, carvevodka.com. Do you guys want to get drunk like the show? I know you do. Go to carvevodka.com and carve your own path. All right.

Oh, I got to do this because I don't want to edit this in either. I'll do Andy's part, and you strum with your mouth guitar. Well, well, well, Red We're the liberal rednecks We like cornbread and butt sex We care so much, but yet Don't give a fuck

We're the liberal rednecks And that makes some people upset But we got three big old dicks They can suck Well here we are My 13 year old nephew Pete He loves that That's like

He's 13 Favorite song We're joined by Who am I? Who am I? I'm going to Shut the fucking do it Shut up

Just do it Just do it Just shut up We're joined by New York comedian And as my wife says My boyfriend Peter Ravello

Hi Hello Peter Hold on Oh Back up Yeah Boyfriend Since when

She called him your boyfriend Since we've been in New York Trey Come on So I was just your Tennessee pace, huh? No. You used to call me your boyfriend.

She noticed that. Now she says you and Corey, who is staring at you furiously right now. Jesus. Yeah. That's when she stopped calling you, my boyfriend, was when she started calling you two lovers. Okay, so I left you.

Okay, that's fine. No. Yeah, you just said it. You literally just said it. I left you for Pete. You left me for Corey is what you just said. I left you for Pete, and you rebounded with the Cho.

Can I ask why the Cho? I know it's probably well Why I went for the show after Drew? What does he have that Drew doesn't have? I mean, you know, the chukes. Cheeks? Corey just yelled from upstairs here because he knew what was coming.

The show is I'm trying to like piece of the head. The show. It's not the Margaret show. I mean, it's not because he's Asian looking. He's not Asian looking. It's an acronym. it was it's not really anymore it's taken all life of its own but it was an acronym that he makes sense i got to see he made up oh you can't give yourself your own nickname well it was like okay i mean

i'll tell you the story in a minute but i'm trying to give you hints first think about corporate titles and those acronyms uh okay so at the very head of organizations what their job titles are the acronyms that they use. Like a CFO? So he's the chief something officer. Starts for the H. What's the name? We say it all the time.

The three of us do. I don't know if he's been around the three of us enough together to have picked up on this. Okay. Oh, the hound dog. Boy, he's a real. That's it. You got it. Chief hound dog officer.

No. I got excited for him. I was like, play cool, Pete. Play cool, Pete. You don't know if Drew's fucking with it. Exactly. He's giving you this. He's going to.

take it away just like the polls hitting chief hitting officer all right you know what hitting means no idea okay we hitting's just hitting god damn it there we go see that that don't hit that don't hit exactly

we are pointing at the results of the Florida governor election four million no no hit that's right that don't hit that don't hit cheeseburgers also hit okay I get it's like Corey normally describes it to people and I you're a New Yorker but this is how Corey normally describes it to people. To explain hits,

cheeseburgers hit, 9-11 don't hit. Am I lying? 9-11 don't hit. I think we can all agree. Pete, you know about this guy who bowled a perfect game on 9-11? You've seen this story?

What? We're obsessed with it. It's so amazing. It went viral on the internet. The guy was at a bowling alley. So it was a very bitter, sweet day for this guy. Yeah. And he was at the bowling alley.

And he sees this picture, and it's like, you get your picture on the wall if you bowl a perfect game. And the date was 9-11, 2001. Yeah. And we got to, so this was in Boston, right? Yeah. So Eastern Time Zone, like, when do bowling alleys open, you know? Maybe noon. Yeah, maybe.

Like, I figured, like, 10, 11 a.m. at the absolute. At the very least, he finished the game. So, like, there happened. Dude, no. He may have started it. He drove there. He kept don't hit. I'm sorry, Corey.

Your governor don't hit. No, but dude, he don't hit. So, 9-11 happened. He's just like, I need the bowl, sweetie. And then he went out. It was his Jordan's flu game, dude. His fucking Bob whatever's fucking ain't going to win. 9-11 game.

But anyway, yeah, so hitting. All right. So cheeseburgers hit, 9-11 don't hit. Okay. Yeah. Corey early on in the tour we're with our buddy Kevin

and Asheville, North Carolina and we're all fucking drunk and he's talking to me about all this crazy shit that's all happened recently with the viral videos and all this stuff

and how we're selling tickets and all this stuff and I'm drunk and myself so I started talking I referenced I think I referenced the Jay Z lyric

you know I'm not a business because I had a desk job and I was like yeah I ain't a businessman I'm a businessman you know and then And I kept going.

I was like, I'm the fucking president of Goddamn Trey Crowder Incorporated right here. And when I said that, Corey goes, and I'm the goddamn chief hitting officer, baby. Choo! And that hit for us. And then we just, and then, you know, it hit for Drew, too, and it hit for Kevin. And then it just hits. It just hits. So, so chief hitting officer.

but it just became just his nickname and his way of life and everything he's just a he's the show other people can be shows things can be moons a show moon's a show moons are chos are huge shows uh hedies are chos massive chos uh anyway god damn but so he's that's why he's the show you asked i did now i know tell them more tell them more about oh uh sneaky pete here what tell them a little more about tell the audience more about You said tell him, and that can mean them or him. And I was like, you know, that's fair. No, you're right.

That's fair. Okay. I'd like to know. You want to know about yourself? Oh, I'll tell you about yourself. I mean, you know, what's there to tell? Can we talk about why he's here? I don't know.

I mean, let Corey talk. Nat, our, Nat posted some pictures. We can't go into detail. Okay. Well, we're just doing a thing here. in Los Angeles with the network related to comedy. It's sort of the center of... It's like the center of comedy.

Yeah, like if you were, if left, right, those are comedy, but then the middle part, that would be it. And we had a thing with them. We're like doing stuff, like if you draw. Just a website, though. Yeah, we don't hit that hard. He was a part of that project. Pete and I think we met at 739.

Probably. 739's a bar and a show that Harrison. and Tweed and I had in New York. We had an open mic, and once a month we'd have a show called Memo's Moonshine. And then we changed it to Slutty Puppy after Corey left New York in the middle of the night, like a coward.

I think that's where we met. But anyway, Pete is a comedian from Staten Island. Fuck yeah. We just flipped, baby. You flipped? Flip that. Good for y'all. Glad somebody. Yeah, we did, man. We definitely, just for everybody listening, We are watching the midterm results right now as we record this out here in California. And I mean, we're going to talk a lot about it.

But, you know, we had to give some context on who the fuck this dude is. She's a cool dude. You were telling us stories about staten eye on politics. You're telling me stories earlier. Oh, yeah. Let's hear some of those. So how long has it been since you guys have been? 10 years?

It's been 10. Since you've been what? You were what? 18 then? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Before we had this guy, Mike Grimm.

He was just like a bully. He threatened a news report to throw him off like a balcony. He's like, this guy is just, he went to prison for federal income tax evasion. So he was in prison. And then this, you know,

and then this guy, Dan Donovan came in. And now there was like a primary race. And the guy Grimm was trying to run again. But they, even though he'd been. He couldn't vote for himself, which is hilarious.

But Staten Island was like, yeah, he couldn't vote for himself. But it's like, you know, sat down was like, I like the way he talks. Well, hey,

on that. In that note, one thing that's cool from today, one of the few things that's cool is the state of Florida gave the right to vote back to felons. Well, it's especially cool in Florida because Florida... They're mostly felons. Are they going to vote Democrat felons? Is that, do you think they'll be... That's the theory? Well, is that the theory?

Yeah, I don't know. They have some of the most gnarly fucking laws, even by American standards. You can become... It's literally a felony to trespass on a construction site. but not to shoot an unarmed black child in your neighborhood. Yes. That's weird how that works. But like think about that.

I mean, you're completely right that that's absurd. But like, think about that on its face. That's just trespassing. What is special about a construction site? And how can you tell most people in Florida apart from just a construction worker? Well,

it was homeless people that they were going after. That's what's so fucking bullshit about us. Point stands. Yes. I'm kidding. I love you Florida. But yeah, no, they gave... Fuck you all.

Because, like, man, people are... We're just all like, fuck Florida, man. Yeah, I was down there, I was visiting my dad, who was a felon. And, uh... Yeah. Yeah. He got four DUIs. That's a...

That's a family... Pretty good numbers. It's pretty good numbers. I know. We're pretty proud. But... That's bingo. Yeah, I think, yeah.

I think he's cat. I don't know. Can you get more than... I don't know anyone with more than four. It depends where you're at. Like, not to make a dark turn here, but I know in Tennessee, how many can you get uh at some point you get like 25 years oh yeah yeah no he's uh really 25

yeah like after a certain number of DUIs um but yeah no i'm i'm all for that i think that's cool because like and we've talked on here some about like even liberals a lot of liberals i know because i've posted shit about prisoners and stuff like prison conditions and shit like that like we got a real problem with the way we as a society look at you know people ex-cons felons and stuff like people

want to talk about like second chances and that type of shit but I don't feel like it really exists if you if you go to prison you know because like I'm fucking Merle Haggard or somebody like that they love them dudes but like I mean you pretty much have to be like some kind of creative or something because like you ain't getting a fucking job anywhere worth the fuck for the most part and like

like you're just done like society's just done with you you can't vote and that's it like you can so of course a lot of time right that recidivism rate is insanely high because there's no incentive to not just stay a bag of shit once you become a felon you know like anyway p what do you think about that yeah i think if my dad i guess one more d why he's not gonna bro my mom's a fellow she can't vote like you can't get on a horse yeah he's like no transportation you can't get a scooter detrimental thing in his life in Staten Island in Florida? I don't know. It's probably not. It's an insane amount. But is he going to, I don't know, I think he's going to quit drinking, I think. I don't

think it's good. That is good. It's a good thing. Yeah. You've been sober for three months? It's like not, yeah, it's not a thing. I'm going to see, you know, in January, I'm going to go back, test the waters again. See how it goes? See if it changed. See if I changed. And we're hoping. It was like a health thing partially, right? Not at all. No, I went to a wedding of my girlfriend and just got that blackout drunk. I was throwing up and woke up the next day.

She's like, well, my friends are getting married, having children, I have you. And I was like, well, this feels horrible. I'm going to, I'll make it up to you, sweet pee. Yeah, man, me and you were talking about it yesterday. Like, you definitely, I feel like reach a point. I mean, unless you, you know, are going to, are already are on your way to, like, literal alcoholic, like full-bore alcohol. You reach a point in your life, I think, where it's just like you become intensely aware of how not good it is in so many ways. Like you're way more aware of it than you used to be.

And also it's just not even the fun parts of it aren't worth the shitty consequences of it. You know what I mean? Like you just get, or at least I got to a point where I couldn't fucking handle it anymore. Don't get me wrong. You know, I'll still be getting drunk sometimes. But it's like, I had to stop drinking like I used to drink because my body just couldn't fucking handle it anymore. I felt so bad all the time.

And I still do, but I used to too. But the reward is like you're like more fun at parties and then like the downside, the effect of that is being hung over like three days. Exactly. It just doesn't seem. I'm going to deny people that. It sounds like you weren't more fun at that party. I was here for a while.

For a while. Yeah. You had a good three hours. Come on, three hours set. I mean, come on, that's great. And then, uh, come on, three in a row. And then, uh, yeah, then it all of a sudden it went dark. But apparently, you know, they're making strong drinks.

How old are you paid? 28. 28. And you started comedy four years ago? Yeah. So I also started when I was 24. Yeah. I think it's late.

Yeah. I think it's late. I feel like, and I mean, this is totally just anecdotal shit. But I feel like most of the people I talk to, are either like Corey, meaning they started when they were teenagers because they're, you started when you were teenage? Yeah, they're fucking deeply broken, you know, or whatever. But it's either that or I feel like it's around about when we did.

Like, you know, mid, mid, yeah, out of college, exactly. Like, I don't think it's that like, I used to really regret with, like, shortly after I first started and I loved it and it was going well and that type of thing. I used to think to myself a lot like, God damn, I wish I had started when I was like 18. But honestly, I feel like had I started at 18, I might have been so fucking terrible. Like I had, you know what I mean? Like, I think about me at 18. Yeah.

And there's no way it would have fucking went well. And it might have went so not well that I just said, fuck it and never did it at all. So, you know, I'm cool with having started. A bunch of times, yeah. Oh, shit. Sorry, it just popped up Scott Walker's. Yeah, and dead heat. Oh, shit.

He's a real motherfucker. Like in a shitty way, not in a rap way. That's what I was thinking of, yeah, like he's, that's just like everybody's dad in Wisconsin. You know, doesn't that just look like a Wisconsin dad that guy? He's like, nice comb over his glasses. He's going to be like, you get enough to eat. Right, right.

Doing the best you can, son. He's like asking the whole state of Wisconsin if they had enough to eat. Go badgers. Here's some cheese. Finkenhower. So, all right. You want to run through the shitty ones first? Nothing hits.

No, there's some, no, you're right. You're right. You're right. Honestly, it's going about the way most people expected and predicted that it would go. And the reason that the four that got highlighted got highlighted so much is because it would have been crazy. A big deal.

Exactly. Beat them. Right. But none of them did. But none of them did, yeah. But it was all pretty expected. Well, was it expected like that for you? Oh, yeah.

I thought that Stacey Abrams would be closer. I thought. I thought Andrew Gillum would win, and he came the close to winning before, maybe. I thought Bretteson would be closer, too. I didn't think Brett isn't think Brett's one would be close at all. He ran the most centrist bullshit campaign I've ever fucking seen, and that doesn't work anymore. Because you're going centrist and asking Republicans to get excited or switch parties

because you aren't as, quote, unquote, scary or whatever, but you're not really a Republican. Yeah, I mean, the only one, if I, to college pick them on all this. Literally only one out of the big... I would have picked... I thought Beto might could pull... I'm not surprised, by the way, at all.

But I was like, I think this motherfucker might can pull it off because he just... Man, he's... I don't know. He was great. He was the only one I thought would maybe do it. I thought that Andrew Gillum guy was going to win because the other guy literally didn't have a platform. His whole platform was, I like Donald Trump.

At least Kemp in Georgia, like, did an ad with a gun. Dude, I got guns. You like guns? Yeah, but I mean, he did. But those, those ads were like, I think the most ridiculous campaign ads that I've maybe ever seen. Like, he's a, I'm a, okay, but he's a fucking cartoon, man. Yes, but that works, dude.

Right. Like, these fucking, you see these attorney commercials on television? Right. It's expensive to get a, they're successful people, and they're making a shitload of money off those. People remember cartoons. But yeah, if y'all have never. seen it. Brian Kemp, Brian Kemp, the now governor of Georgia, the governor-elect of Georgia,

he had some campaign ads. He also cheated. Went pretty viral. Do we talk about that? Yes, but real quick, he had some campaign ads that kind of went viral because how ridiculous they were. He literally had a immigration bus. He took his whole school bus and made it up like a prison bus and he was going around rounding up all the Mexicans and sending them back. And in all these commercials, he's just holding a gun. the whole time talking about his name like to whip his ass. It's insane, man. And then, but yeah,

and it's so fucked up. There was like five districts that they just, they quote unquote, couldn't find the plug-ins for their voting machines. All black, all inner city, all poor. He was the Secretary of State during this whole time. During the whole election. I'm talking about today, bro.

That happened today. What I was just talking about. As Secretary of State, he was kicking people off the rolls. Right. 40,000 people that a judge made him put back on the rolls, but he kicked off like 120,000. And what did he win by? Do we know? I mean, more than a lot.

Last I saw 82%. Oh, nobody can hear me. It was like 85% reporting, and it was like, I don't know. Okay. Yeah, 5346. Here's, okay, here's one little glimmer of. Here's one little fun thing that I just saw to make everybody at least kind of smile. Kansas elected a democratic woman as governor

and Ann Coulter immediately tweeted Kansas is dead to me It was Matt God damn and I wanted to give him I just saw a great tweet Kansas is dead to me and the guy said Did they drop another house on one of your sisters Yeah I was about saying Kansas is dead there

I was Ann Coulter going to get rid of her vacation home in Topeka She don't fuck with Kansas I feel like she fucks with Kansas, though, because that's where, that Kansas isn't Kansas the, that real crazy tea party guys. Brownback. Yeah, Brownback. Yes. She, you know, gets money for people in Kansas. She don't give a fuck about Kansas.

Well, it wasn't just the governor. They also had four Republican, I think, were all Republican people in Senate, and now they have, it's a split. So let's just go through some of them. Start with Tennessee. I agree with what you said earlier. I agree what you said earlier about Phil Bredesen, but I also thought that, A, I mean, he's the former governor of Tennessee and was a pretty well-liked Democratic governor in the state. In the 90s. And, and Marsha Blackburn, and I know your whole point, and you're clearly right about extremism being affected, but Marsha Blackburn, his opponent, is a fucking lunatic.

It believes in evolution, or does, excuse me, doesn't. believe in evolution, doesn't believe in climate change is, you know, super, super pro-life, very, very anti-gay, tea party, just insane. I feel like, yeah, you said she was from Tennessee, man, and we get it.

Yeah, well, I mean, I'm such a, yeah, I'm a New York show chauvinist. I got to do better, you know? I got a, yeah, you're good. It's because you've got that Staten Island stink on it. Well, people were, like, some, I saw some tweets kind of celebrating it about, like,

because this is true, Marsha Blackburn has just become the first ever female senator from the state of Tennessee. I saw a few tweets about that and I retweeted one of them. It was like, yeah, that's true, but she's just the latest in a very long line of fucking lunatic racist dipshit. So that kind of outweighs the woman angle for me. But I just thought because of how she. shitty she is and how generally well-liked Phil Bredesen used to be, I thought he had a real chance at it. And then for people that don't follow Tennessee politics much,

he was not in the Senate. He didn't have a vote. He was running for office when all the Kavanaugh shit went down. And people kept the press, kept pressing him for a position on Kavanaugh. But he did, in my opinion, he didn't have to fucking take, he could have given some answer about like, Well, you know, when I'm in the office, I'll do my due diligence to make the vote the best represents whatever.

But, you know, I think it's tough. They really wanted to enhance. Like, it's either you were for or against. Well, and he said, and he said he would support him, like that he would back him. Because she said he won't support him and started surging in the polls. That's not why she started surging in the polls. you started searching the polls because he wouldn't take a position on anything whatever right no no i i think in that really i mean you know i don't i don't live in tennessee anymore i voted in california but i was

telling cori earlier because cori said he was like i feel like it were you know with my that he really fucked himself with that whole cavanaw thing but and like i hated it and i know all a lot of most other tennessee democrats also hated it but the way i feel about that is is, and I don't know what you think. I feel like most Tennesseans who are on the left and would be upset by him back in Kavanaugh would also realize how hugely awful she is and would much rather her not get in than to not support him over the Kavanaugh thing. I feel, I mean, that's what I would have done if I still live there. talking about someone who's like a politically engaged you know et cetera

my point is like you got to get people out you gotta get people excited yeah he didn't he didn't inspire anybody sometimes votes sometimes don't right there are people who just don't vote there's people who are like 50 50 you know yeah that shit killed me he's like dude if you're gonna because what's your record from voting yeah I'm telling you it's not gonna be it's not exciting it's not

excited. You're like in the opposite position that we find ourselves in. We're like, a lot of times I'm like, none of my people are going to win, but I'm voting anyway. You're like, I feel like with you a lot of times, it's, you know, I don't know all your politics, but it's like... It's not politics. It's, uh, I

never voted. I've never voted. Never voted. No, never voted. Okay, well, this is appropriate. Fucking insane right now. What means in New York? It's not like... Although, you're just talking about how stat and I just went blue. I wasn't able to vote I was going to this year

but then I came here and New York has this whole like you have to do 30 days to do an absentee ballot and I learned about this yeah two weeks before I mean that's genuinely fair you this dig I know for a fact this came up like notice for you

so if it was already too late for you to do the absentee thing early voting early voting all you had to do was bring well yeah I mean I know for well okay I mean so why reason I asked you that is because you were smiling at me like you wanted me to and now I realize

you were smiling at me like please don't ask me oh yeah yeah I'm so sorry I'm sorry I'm not I'm gonna say I'm I meant to say I never voted for a Republican. Hey! Oh, I'm back baby. Back in the game. Come on. No, but yeah, we don't have to we don't have to fucking real Pete right now. No, there was no like that wasn't my intention again.

No, I know. He smiled at me and I was like, oh, he wants me to set him up. No, I deserve this. So I'm going towards this moment. I need it. Was it that whole thing like Drew was just saying about...

Well, so, because my wife said to me the other day and she does and did vote, but she was just making a point about how a lot of people, a lot of like people on the left where we're from, a lot of them in court was one of these for years, are a lot of them don't vote

because they're like, I live in fucking Alabama. You know what I mean? Like, it's not going to matter. But Katie the other day said, she was like, But I mean, honestly, it's not like my vote matters now out here. She was like, you know what I mean?

We live in California now. Like, my vote doesn't matter, but for the opposite reason. Do you know what I mean? Like, they're going to win. Yeah. They don't need me. No. So, like, my vote doesn't matter.

You can make the argument of your individual vote not mattering no matter what your situation is, I think, is the point. Well, no. I mean, there's definitely some states like, like, Ohio. Right. Everybody, I think, feel, and, by the way, they have higher turnout percentages usually. Right.

They're like Iowa, because they're like the first, they're always purple. Yeah. And they're the first one on the, uh, electoral college. What I don't, yeah, the caucuses and shit, the, the primaries. Words, time. The way time works.

Yeah. You know how that goes? Yeah. Where things become before other things. Yeah. I was in the beginning part. The primaries, right? I have degrees.

Yeah. I got one of those at a time that was before now. Yeah, I was like where the presidential election starts. Right. Me stupid, my is dumb. Well, and the president's election. Primary start there. Yeah, I said, I looked you in your eyes and said the primary, the primaries, like five times.

I thought you were talking about primary numbers. One. You get it. So, anyway, primary. So anyway. In front of Mike? Yeah. All right.

I'm concerned. I don't know. Seriously, because we've got a ton of shit we can talk about. I don't have a, we can. I don't have like a,

it's not like a reason thing. It's not like I'm a conscientious, like, objector. I don't have a very good reason. Have you just always kind of been like, are you like politically apathetic? Like you just don't really give a shit about politics and never have?

I don't want to be that guy. It's definitely not that guy, because that guy listens to, like, tool, and it's like, fuck the world. I don't know. It's like, I don't know. I can't really articulate a position on it. It just, like, never happened.

My main... I feel like if I lived in Ohio, if I lived in, like, a swing state, like a Florida, I would feel more, especially during presidential elections, because, you know, New York is always blue. That whole idea where we're from, you know, if you're on the left,

why vote? Because it doesn't matter. I always still voted, like, from the time I was, and I don't know how valid this is or isn't, but sincerely my main argument or my main philosophy on it was always, if I don't vote, I can't bitch, and man, I love bitching. You know what I mean? Like, I've been bitching as long as I could remember. Like, I've been running my goddamn mouth about how much bullshit I think everything is for always.

And I always felt like, if I don't vote, I kind of don't have the right. to bitch about it. And that was seriously, that was my main reason for voting when I lived in fucking, uh, Cookville,

Tennessee or whatever, as a Democrat, knowing that it wouldn't make any difference. That was why I did it. I only like gained this, I guess, perspective somewhat recently. But man,

I mean, has Trump not at least taught us that like, people, sometimes people will get excited and come and vote? No, I'm just saying like, a lot of people voted in that election who hadn't voted in a long time or who had never voted.

That's true for Obama too. Well, and like, you know, our state, Tennessee used to be very heavily leaning towards a Democrat. The Democrats were very different then. I understand that. But those things can change. My thought was all, it's not, was always, this is a newer thought, but like, not the last election, but the one before my thought was, yeah, I have to go vote in Tennessee.

Because even though it doesn't matter, if a election. lot of people who think like me do vote it's not going to be enough for us to win for tennessee to go for obama but it might be enough for people to be like shit maybe next time tennessee can go for obama and then more money will come in and the national democratic party will actually give a shit and then maybe they'll start paying attention to tennessee issues and remember they start talking about working class issues and none of that has happened on my bullshit right and you know yeah that hasn't worked or happened they still don't give a shit about southern states and what and there's a senator in

West Virginia named Lee yeah named Lee J. Carter that I follow who is a Democrat Socialist and he has been tweeting all night so I'm saying all that to say he might be a little bit biased but he's been tweeting all night left-leaning Dems are overperforming

in Trump districts while right-leaning dims are failing can we retire the idea that there be dragons on the left people want a fighter that's what I like that's my thing with Bredison it's not working it and you said earlier yeah extremism works

I don't call it extremism be on the left I'm not saying I want someone extreme I'm saying like you're not wishy-washy if you got to be a monkey be a gorilla yeah exactly

commit dude exactly the whole thing with Brettison it's like dude if you're gonna go down fucking you know go down with both hands on the fucking wheel you know what I mean

like don't be a bitch about it like he sold his soul and still got the fuck beat out of him you know well he did sell a soul that's one thing that I don't want to call a man out but everybody knows this

it's like public knowledge his own wife was like kidnapped and raped and I'm not saying that means you shouldn't confirm Kavanaugh but like you're just like that woman stands up there and cries about what happened to her and you're like yeah

I don't know I think he could be a judge and then you go home that night to your wife but here's another thing about voting Corey I don't know what you got going on you want to include us No no it's no no it's the I tweeted earlier for our people to tweet us with their election thoughts. Corey's, he's curating.

He's curating them right now, and we are going to read these in a little bit, but that's what he's doing. What the fuck were you talking about? Brett is talking about, and his wife. How she was raped. Yeah,

that's what you were on. Yeah, I said I'm back on my bullshit. Well, I don't know how to move on from that, really. No, okay, well, all right, we said we were going to talk,

let's talk about Kemp and Abrams now. I mean, we mentioned him a little bit earlier, but yeah, he, it's spent some bullshit with Georgia for a while. There's been multiple headlines about, and again, this motherfucker was the Secretary of State the whole time, and they kept having all this shit about people getting purged from the voter rolls. And it's just straight up, like, just voter restriction, like transparent bullshit that's clearly targeted at, you know, fucking poor people in minorities and shit, the people, you know, the people that would vote against him. and while he's the sitting secretary of state, Jimmy Carter came out and said that he should resign

because it's such a clear conflict of interest, which it is, but of course he wasn't going to resign either. And then today, like Drew said, it's just been one bullshit headline after another out of Georgia about, you know, fuck-ups at polling places. Oh, they only got one station going here in a black community,

you know, you know, people, it's a six-hour wait, people are getting turned away and, and all this type of shit all day long. And, uh, and yeah, he won by a comfortable margin. So,

I mean, I also think that that, you know, a lot of factors were in play there and about a lot. I mean, she was black and a woman. And a woman. That's what Corey said earlier in the car on the 7-Eleven.

He was like, pretty much exactly what you just said. He was like, you know, but one major factor you're leaving out right now is that he was running against a black woman. in the state of Georgia. Right, yeah.

I mean, dude, without a doubt. That's definitely true. Beto came close. By the way, apparently he said, I'm so fucking proud of you guys when he gave his concession speech, which, you know, he's just rad. But then that Gillum guy

came way closer than anybody. Like, that's the closest of the four spotlighted races was the guy Andrew Gillum out of Florida running against the Santas. He's the dude who was like on TV being like, a fucking hit dog a holler.

I'm not saying you're racist, but I am saying that people, who are racist think you're racist. That is what I'm talking about. Not this like polite, well, you know, this Kavanaugh. Like I wanted someone to say Marsha Blackburn is a

fucking horrible person. Do you want to know how I know? And not like in an ad that's a hit piece and I approve this message. Let's have a debate or I'll go on TV if you won't debate me and I'll let someone interview me and I will say she takes money from opioid manufacturers and then lightens up

any possibility of ever given them sanctions if and when we find out they were purposely supplying people with opioids and supplying doctors with opioids who overprescribe. That's horrible. Fuck her. He didn't do that. She's racist. Here's why I think it.

Dude, the whole... What do you mean how can you... I mean, how can you... I mean, how can you... I mean, how can you... I mean, how can you... So many people are being torn apart by the opiate, you know... It's because the stereotype is about conservatives, right? liberals, conservatives are assholes, liberals are

pussies, right? And like in this realm that we're talking about, that's what like liberals are very, you know, they want to take the high road, not get down in the mud and do this whole thing and just like not. Gillum did it. They don't want to...

One Florida, even though he's like Bernie Sanders approved. That dude's really far left. Yeah. But I'm like talking about the guy who's like brash. Like there's a woman who's like, we'll get him down right like who brash yeah

brash embracizing albinis in west virginia who like in he's a democrat who like in all his campaign ads

he's like shooting guns he fucking one of the thing he did he posted he got a flyer that his opponent had that had like

you know lies in it and he shot the motherfucker on his campaign ad he's like look I'm on the left but I'm a veteran what's that dude's name he's ripped

he cusses all the time yeah we got a few of them he won by a landslide in west Virginia yeah But now, dude, it's... Oh, the other reason, though, and I don't know if this applies to Bredesen, he was a governor, so... But, like, the other reason a lot of Dems don't do shit like that's because they're fucking taking money.

Absolutely. From the opio or whoever. Like, if they start slinging mud in that specific way... That's your right, yeah. Like, you've got to be able to sling mud in a way that's not going to get slung back on you. And that's what I'm saying. We need people who are actually left who aren't going to do that shit. I mean, that's the thing.

People shit on Bernie Sanders, because it's like they almost shit on him for the reason that I respect him. and by they, I mean, like, politicians even on the left. It's like, this guy never gets a bill passed. And what does he really stand for? I'm like, he can't get a bill passed because y'all won't pass any of his bills because none of his bills have anything to do with, you know, making Pfizer more money or saving Exxon or whatever. Yeah, dude, I used to tell some of my conservative buddies back in Tennessee when Obama was

the president and I was a big Obama guy. Like in 2008, when he was running, I was the Obama version of a burn. Bernie, bro. Like, I mean, I was a fucking true believer, man. I thought he was going to save us all. And, like, into his administration, and don't get me wrong, Obama still does hit for me, but into his administration, I tell some of my conservative friends, I'd be like, buddy, because they all think he's the, like, most far left, literal demon motherfucker

we could ever have in office. And I would tell him, it's like, dude, what you don't understand is, my main problem with Barack Obama is that he ain't liberal enough. I was like, he's a fucking moderate, man. Like, I do love the guy, but my problem with him is that he ain't far left enough. And y'all think he's like, you know, fucking commie Satan. By the way, that guy's name was O'Heda, Richard O'Hada, and for the record he lost 48% to 40%. But what was the last election, the Democrat got like 10%.

So, like, the fact that he was. close anyway. So, yeah, I definitely, and I don't know if it would have made the actual difference or not, but I mean, yeah, it's pretty clear to me that it's been some bullshit in Georgia, you know, and...

And Florida. Was there any, like, federal oversight? No, I guess not, right? It would be a state basis. It would come from Trump. And if there was, it would come from the Department of Justice, I think. But isn't that already... That's sessions. Right. So that's not going to... Jefferson Beauregard sessions. It's not exactly who you want.

What's his middle name? Boo regard. I was telling you earlier. He's named after two different Confederate icons. That's so great. The first president of the Confederates and then a general. One of the major generals. Beauregard.

General Beauregard. I learned that I have, my ancestors fought on the Confederate sides. Where? Yeah. From where? Virginia. You're just the shittiest part of New York, right? Yeah.

It's in my blood. I learned it a little while ago. That's actually the origin of Staten Island, just like Confederate refugees who didn't make it like quiet to New York. It's like, oh, we'll just settle here. They got a big ass statue coming. I'm like, you know. So, so Staten Island, generally speaking, is it, is it like fairly conservative? It's the only red borough.

I mean, all the boroughs. It's the red one. Out here, it's Orange County. Orange County is the red part of the Los Angeles area. That would be. That's what the only ever. every it's perennie like it's always well in orange county though it's it's like white people with money type conservatism that's not what's up with statin island is it or am i wrong i never been

a statin island i mean why would you right but i get the impression it's it ain't that right that's not what's going on there it's money but it's not educated money it's like contractors and like you know it's like working guys who are um racist. Right. Yeah. Right. That's why it's red.

It's, uh, yeah. A lot of racist shit over there. A lot of, it's pretty amazing, too. Was that like, like, uh, like, Sicilian. So they got some, got some black blood in there, too. And they love rap music, but these guys are racist. There's such a do the right thing kind of.

Dude, aren't like, the movie do the right thing? You know what he's like talking to, uh, Spike Lee? Like the guy, the guy's like, you know, you get, he's like, you love all of our, you know, you have Eddie Murphy. He's like, name your favorite basketball player. He's like, Matt Johnson and Andrew Murphy. you know it's like the same thing

like this cognizant of dissonance of dude you love the culture but you hate the people and music like like in my opinion in the South is the source of and is still still where all the best music

in America comes from but it and all of it originated with black people you know what I mean like it fucking and always has like even you know

that's like Elvis like the thing like I can't remember his name but like the whatever the main producer first like broke Elvis had been saying for years if I can find a white man

who's got the black man sound I'll make a billion dollars or whatever and then and then that was Elvis you know and dude don't even wrong Elvis is like a motherfucker but I'm saying that's been going on for forever like we fucking

music food so much about African American culture white people clearly just eat it up. Oh yeah. But are still just racist as fuck. Yeah, that's basically, I mean, that's what it is in that.

That's why they vote red. It's more, it's, yeah, uneducated money. Well, this is not the same thing, but you just reminded me of something that happened to me today. And I told them about it already, but like, this shit sincerely, like, it genuinely shocked the fuck out of me. I did not see this coming. at all. And also, disclaimer, everybody listening, I apologize in advance for this extremely offensive thing that's about to happen in a minute, but I'm quoting an actual person

from a thing that actually happened today. I had an Uber here in L.A. to this interview that I did, and the Uber driver was a Latino guy born in Mexico, but raised and lived his entire life in Los Angeles. She's Angelino. And he was at, you know, just like a small talk, asking me what I was doing. Oh, I'm going on this interview,

interview for what. Oh, it's about comedy. Oh, you're a comedian. Yeah, I'm a comedian. That type of thing. And then, uh, asked me like what the interview particularly was about. And I said something about comedy and politics in particular.

And he was like, oh, you're a political comedian. And I was like, I mean, I never really thought of myself that way. But yeah, I guess kind of. And then so now politics has been brought up. Immediately, I'm like, and look, just putting it out there, I'm a liberal. I don't, I hate Donald Trump.

We don't have to talk about it. I'm just, just so you know, that's where I stand on it. And he immediately was like, it's like, oh, dude, fuck Donald Trump. He's like, as soon as I drop you off, I'm going to vote, man, because we got to get, we can't have this Republican shit going on. He's like, we got to get him and all the motherfuckers like him out of there. He's a piece of shit, whatever. So now immediately, you know, we're just talking about how much Trump.

sucks. This goes on for like five minutes or something. And this liberal, uh, Hispanic Angelino says, oh no, uh, he's, uh, talking about Trump and Trump's supporters and the people that back him. And then he goes, and this is the part I was referencing earlier. He says, like, like, like, who's that one guy? Like, that guy is a famous guy. He's a famous, he's a famous, he's a famous, he's a famous, he's a famous rapper and like look i'm i'm i'm not a racist guy or anything but every time i see this guy i just think what a fucking nigger oh man and he and then i and i was just like uh conier and he he he did that like that i didn't say shit he said what a fucking nigger and then he was like pause thinking and i was just sitting back there not knowing what to fuck to do and then he goes

Kanye, Kanye West, right? And he was like, man, that guy, that guy's lost his fucking mind. And, like, I agree that Kanye has lost his fucking mind. And I agree with everything else this dude has said for the past five minutes. And then, like, you say, how do you get out of that? By the grace of the fake Lord, we were pulling up to the hotel he was dropping me off at as this happened. So it was just like, it was just like, that guy's lost his fucking mind. I was just like, how many stars did you give?

I was just like, yeah, man, just, you know, thanks, see ya, and I got out and left. How many stars I give it? Actually, he was actually, it wasn't an, it was a, like a cab. It wasn't an app-based thing. Oh, he's the cab drop. Well, that explains. Way the way. You got to go with Uber and Lyft, baby.

But like, if you get, it's anything that gleaned from this story, it's got to go Uber and Lyft. That shit, I just. did not fucking see that coming at all and it's like to me and like we were talking about earlier I don't know if it's more of a like where we're from I've met a lot of people who talk this shit about

the that word not being racial you know what it means like you can be white and be that you know what it means like there are black people that are that but you can be white and be that you can be Mexican and be that it's the way you are

I think it's not clear that people say that where we're from. Yeah, right. That's a thing that people say a lot where we're from. It's not racist. It's not racist.

There's white people that are that too. That word means a certain thing and has nothing to do with your race. And that's bullshit. That could be his theory, but I think he's just that he's Hispanic,

he thinks he can say it. Yeah, that's what I say. Did he hit it? It depends how he said it. Dude, hard art. Hard art. Like, fucking.

Fucking in front of it. And then the hard. Hard are. like with like bile in his mouth you know he said it and uh maybe he really liked you and he's just trying to like you know well it's funny because we just did that we just well the thing you were helping us do yesterday it had to do with the idea that like people find out what from the south and take that as an invitation to be racist or whatever which is like it is a thing that happens and i mean yeah that crossed my mind because it was going so well it's like god i get this guy i

I had been talking about being from the South and being a redneck and all this, but I also had made it very clear to him that I'm a liberal white guy, you know, and he still felt completely comfortable to just say that. That's how white, white holds. Right, I guess. It's just, I mean, seriously, though, like to that guy in his mind, in this guy, in his mind, is it a, like, this is a white man, so I know. this is okay.

You know what I mean? He saw your white. He saw your teeth. I mean. Yeah. I'm obviously kidding, but you know what I mean. No, I'm, I know you're kidding, but seriously. Like, because people know that that's not a word that you can just say.

There has to be a reason that you have to be okay with saying it. And me and this guy are completely... I don't know if I was in the car, he would have dropped it with me. I found if maybe a C. I really might think it's your accent. I mean, dude, I wonder, you know? Because, like, he wouldn't have done that for just fucking anybody. Like, if it'd been, like, fucking Chelsea Peretti or whoever, you know what I mean?

In the, there's no way he would have said that about Kanye West, I don't think. You wouldn't know about that because you're like, cool. What? Right. I mean, it's got to be something like that, right? There's no doubt. That's what it is. And, yeah, it's just.

What was his name? Nah. We can get into all that. You can find them. you could send him some mail and, you know, some pamphlets about, you know. Yeah, I don't, but yeah, Drew's, Drew's theory is that he, yeah, because he's a person of color. Maybe he was just trying it out for the first time.

Like he was trying it and he didn't get it right the first thing. I mean, he's got to, you know, you use that word a couple more time. No, but somebody else. Right. He's practicing. No, no, no. That was just coming out of the N-word. And he's like, I'm going to give this a shot.

Yeah, it was a practice delivery. You could tell. Oh, man. He was in the pocket. He was feeling it. But, yeah. And it just made me think about how, like, a whole lot of people look at the political and cultural, whatever, landscape and as it pertains to race and all that in this country as being, like, pretty black and white, you know, and I don't mean that, no pun intended. But, you know what I mean?

You're either this or you're that. Right. from the south, I've always been like, no, man, the shit's fucking complicated. You know what I mean? Like, I know, like, my papal was a good man. He thought some shitty things. You know what I mean? Like, it's complicated.

And that dude today is another version of that, I think. This is a, like, guy self-identifies as liberal from Southern California who is a person of color who is totally okay with that. And that's like, that's wild. you know like people are complex man what's the thing I have like friends who are like Puerto Rican and like Dominican

and it's like oh you would assume that like Mexican like you know like Trump's treatment of immigrants and stuff like that that they would care I'm like you guys would care right and they're like I don't we didn't give a shit I'm like that's kind of racist of me to think that you guys would all care I know I know a couple of like their second generation immigrants who uh Puerto Ricans and like

who actually are more hardcore about it because and this is anecdotal, but the ones I know, their whole thing is... We got out here. Right. They're like, no, there's a right way to do it. And they don't do it the right way, and they fuck it up for all the rest of us, so fuck them. But that's not Trump's policies. I know.

I know. Like, asylum is legally allowed, and people come here and ask for it, and he separates them from their kids, leaves them locked up, and then sends them away. Like, that's... You're just subverting the law. that's not the right like people are trying to do it the right way and you're not letting them and I'm with you dog

I'm just telling you by the way in my mind there's no fucking excuse for that like that is what's happening it is undeniable that that's what's happening so for you to be like no because it's the right way fuck you really what it is is that you're here and you don't give a fuck

about other people you made it and you're fine just like because here's a thing that does absolutely go across racial lines you're a fucking narcissistic asshole you got it and you don't care about other people not to well no we could talk about that later

there's one of the people I'm talking about is somebody that I know that you know but it's not a comic or nothing anybody would know if there's no reason to get in specifics but um so Staten Island it's not a comic you've never heard of him it's racist all that I get all that

yeah so one thing like recently and I don't I've met him once but I don't know him at all, but I was listening to a podcast with Pete Davidson on it. Oh, who's from Staten Island. And he was talking on the podcast that, the,

okay, all right, well, we can get into why specifically, but I, I've always thought he's funny. I like the guys, comedically or whatever,

met him once, he was nice enough, but I heard him on his podcast in the, in the interviewer brother, he was like, so you're from Staten Island, and immediately he just starts shitting, I mean,

like, on it. And it's while I never been to Staten Island it kind of started to bother me because that's what

a whole lot of Southerners do like people from Alabama that end up in other places of me you bring up Alabama and they just

start shitting all over it acting like there's no redeeming qualities to Alabama at all and that's always really bothered me like when people would do that

about Tennessee or something it's always pissed me off and I never even been to Staten Island but it was kind of bothering me for the same reasons. I was like, come on, man. No, I hate it.

Like, he can't be like that. And I was going to ask if you knew that about him and how you felt about it. He's always talking shit about Sted Island. It's so annoying. And he's spent like, he, like, moved out at, like, 18. And he's, like, had, like, this traumatic who he's made fun of in high school. Like, give it a fucking break. You know what I mean?

You know, I feel like if you, if you, like, had such a bad time in a place, that's kind of on you. You know what I mean? At a certain point, if you can't find one redeeming quality, like, you kind of suck. you know it's uh i i don't understand why he hates it so much i mean it sucks but yeah no it's horrible no it's an absolute nightmare i mean i know i know i know exactly what you mean i seriously do i know exactly what you mean you know don't pretend you know we get some good things you got ralph's i's pretty nice i feel like the pizza's pretty good pizza is the best

to get the come on dude you can find there's you can find redaming qualities for literally anywhere. Also, there are pockets instead of where it's like liberal. And saying what he's saying in those moments. When I hear him saying that. Yeah, the racist fireman. Yeah. Well, not that stuff, but just like, you know, it sucks and I'm glad you know, this and I'm like, yeah, I think

I would have beat your ass too. Yeah. You're just like such a little pool. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it's so horrible. Also, you know, you got picked on it and that's how you got funny. That and your dad died. Oh, please. He'd be right that thing forever. Give it a break. Yeah. I really, yeah. I didn't

didn't mean to open up a whole, you know, Pete Davidson fucking 9-11 thing. Roast, spit, uh, well, uh, spit roast of Pete Davidson.

He's been in the news because he shit on, he shit on the way a bunch of senators looked. Like he just was like roasting their looks. Like that was one of the S&L sketches leading up to the election. A lot of the candidates. And one of them, he made fun of this guy's eye patch and the guy lost his eye. Look,

as the coming, I'm giggling to saying it. Like, the dude lost his eye and, war and he called him a fucking bill-o, a bond villain from a porno movie. I said what he looks like. I punch it up. I like the first part,

the last part. And then he goes and then he goes, yeah, I know, he's a war hero or whatever. And then like, Chey starts laughing. He's like, whatever. And he got a bunch of shit for it. And I'm like, first of all, it was a list. There was like five people on it. Oh, yeah. I'm completely on his side on that.

He didn't apologize at all. I'm happy that he didn't apologize. Also, the motherfuckers talking about Can't believe Pete Davidson said this about a motherfucking war hero dude are the same ones that we're trying to piss on McCain's grave, so suck my dick. I know, trying to have it both ways. Also, like, we were talking about earlier.

On that note, I'm certain a lot of our fans aren't upset right now because the dude's a Republican from Texas. And if this were, if he made fun of Beto for something, our fans would be, this is unbelievable. I feel like a lot of them would be. Really? I think so. Well, dude, I once, I literally called Bernie Sanders

is a soup-eaten motherfucker just because I was like, look at it. Tell me he don't eat to fuck out of sets. A soup-eaten motherfucker right there. And, dude, so many of my fans got so upset about it because it was during the, because, like, you just didn't.

He was sacred. He was sacred. You didn't say. I think it was the sock thing. The sock thing. What I say about a sock thing? And the reason I'm arguing that it's that, because that was even more in IQ,

because you were talking about his fans, not even him. You said something about, yeah, Bernie Sanders, uh, supporters something and all their fucking socks match or don't i don't remember what you said either way it was some pretty innocuous thing and i thought i voted for bernie and the pride i loved bernie i just made a fucking joke about him and people said i'm sending the book

yeah our book had just come back and she said well you don't believe in capitalism anyway madam so what the fuck does it matter you know that bitch's book was just all covered in soup when she sent it back like soup stains on everything soup eating but right the Pete David's like also we were talking about earlier and like and I know it ain't the guy

he made fun of who's raising shit about it it's other people on the other side but like the idea that like apparently they think that this dude who took an IED to the face can't take a fucking joke

you know what I mean like you look like a porno villain well or a pirate a badass like eye patches are bad Bad ass. You know what I mean? The least offensive insult ever is that you look like a cartoon character. Of course.

If you're going to have any handicapped, you got to make you look pretty fucking cool. Yeah. Dude, it's nothing that anyone should ever be offended by. You know? That could be my thing. That was a plot in a movie. What was? One of the characters wasn't the plot of a movie.

It was a thing in there. One of the characters decides he's an eyepatch guy. Maybe this is just an episode of Always Sonny. He was a podcast. Steve the pirate. Steve the pirate. He didn't need it. It was Alan Tudick. Alan Tudic played it. That might be what you're thinking about.

Yeah. Yeah, I think it's, but his hate for Staten Island, Pete Davidson's hate for Staten Island. It's just like something else is going on there. You know, like, you're right, bud. You know, talk to your mom. I know your dad's dead, but. You know, have an 11 don't hit. Yeah. Well, one thing me and Pete Davidson can't agree on is that.

If only his dad was more of a bowler, he might be alive today. Well, Drew, do you want to talk about some of the good things that happened today? No, why would I want to do that? Yeah, I don't know. But like what I was saying earlier, I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but most like 538, most pollsters and stuff and analysts expected what happened today. That's what was expected to happen. The Democrats would flip the house. We did that.

Is that what happened? And had a slim, a very slim chance at the Senate, but like you said earlier, it would be kind of a miracle. if it did happen. I don't think they would expect us to lose that seat, which we did in Indiana. But I mean, you know, fucking Indiana. But by and large, how it played out today is what most people expected. They're like the Staten Island in the Midwest.

And some of that was good shit. The Democrats have the House now. Correct. Yes, which means that we can probably keep them from destroying Obamacare entirely. We have subpoena power in terms of the House can subpoena motherfuckers to talk about certain things like related to the Mueller investigation or whatever. else. Kavanaugh it might be too late.

We can protect the Mueller investigation. The first openly gay man was elected governor of the state of Colorado. I'm trying to think of what having the house does for us. Those are the main things I can think of right now. But yeah, an openly gay man was elected governor of Colorado. Two Muslim women were elected. I think it's the most purple state. I think Colorado is the most purple state.

I think it's got the most true libertarian. not like the right i'm a selfish bastard and i want to fuck all you know i mean just want to get high and yeah just leave me alone leave them alone leave everybody alone you know what i mean because i feel like a lot of these don't tread on me people are like leave me alone but bother the fuck out of the blacks you know what i mean well but dude we've well first of all abs of fucking luteley but secondly we like we've been there and driven around the state and stuff and like there's some fucking red ass parts of like you know

what i mean like there's a lot of there's a lot of there's a lot of there's a lot of fucking red asses in Colorado. I just think they're super independent. I'm literally fucking tweeting at this dude talking about, I said something about how the South still hits, and he's talking about how he left for Colorado from South Carolina. It's the best decision he's ever made.

And I'm literally messaging back, like, what part of Colorado? Because I've seen a few rebel flags in the rural area. So, I miss him. Dude, Sam Talent, Sam Talent showed me once, I was hanging out with him, and he showed me on Facebook, a guy he went to high school with

in Colorado had just got married that day, and he showed me wedding pictures from his buddy, born and raised in Colorado, with Sam, with Confederate flags flying behind them on their wedding day or whatever. Like, and that's where, and that's, fuck, David, David Gabori, also grew up with Sam,

and remember David telling us all them red-ass fucking stories about all these pap-paws and stuff. What was that the man? Drew that he hung out with? Fucking, oh, man. He said he had the biggest dick he'd ever say. Yeah. what was his name like

fucking old Bill or something like that? No, he says both names. He said his last name. He was like, it was like Bill Johnson. He was my best friend. That's what he said. Right. Yeah.

No, it's because y'all were calling him, Papa. He can, Drew, he was calling him by the name he called him, and me and you had turned it into Papal, whatever, Papal Bill or something.

And he was like telling us, it'd be like, well, I mean, you know, he wasn't like a papal of me and you was like, bullshit, that's a fucking papaw. Don't you tell us about papaw. That's a goddamn papal right there.

But David was also tell us about him and Sam playing high school football in Colorado and how, like, you know, if you got a concussion, you were a pussy or a fag or all this, like that type of shit. Like, there's fucking, there's some red-ass parts of Colorado. But there's also some of the crunchiest, most liberal motherfucking people in the country.

there. Boulder's one of the wildest places I've ever been for that shit. One of the wildest experiences I've ever had, period, was with the lady from Boulder. And I've probably told it on a podcast three times at this point.

But long story short, self-proclaimed liberal white lady who had been at our show told me, we were talking about how racist she was talking about a racist the South was, but she'd never been there. And I was like, actually,

that's a pet peeve of mine. When people... She started talking about Kanye West. I was like, when people who, grew up in a area that's 99% white people like you did talk about how racist the South is when you never even been there. It's like, what do you even know about racism? That's why I said. And then she goes, well, actually, I do know about it because my daughter is biracial. And immediately I was

like, oh, fuck. Like, I thought I really just put my foot in my mouth, but not for long because she followed that up immediately with. Well, actually, I do know about it because my daughter is biracial. I mean, she hasn't act black. She's. She's like, she loves to read. She makes great grades. She doesn't have black at all, but she's half black. She's got no rhythm. And I was just standing there like, that's literally the most racist shit I've heard in years.

And I've lived in Tennessee my whole life. Like, that's insanely racist. And you're a liberal woman from Colorado with a fucking half black daughter. And you are crazy racist and you don't even know it. Like, it's wild, man. The whole situation is so, like I said, it's complicated. I wanted to come in with a hit. I'm trying to do that on all the depressing stuff, try to have something that's good.

Beto and his concession speech or whatever live on MSNBC dropped a F-bomb. He said... Fuck the police. That'd be awesome. Beto said, I want to thank this amazing campaign of people, not a dime from a single pack. All people, all the time in every single part of Texas. all you show in the country how you do this i'm so fucking proud of you guys on msnbc that fucking rules so some positive things he hits man he does hit he looks like a pbs host doing a

baroque obama impression but he does hit yeah but it's like this is where we're at well you know we didn't win anything but we got a fuck on tv so that's but again we did we did win some shit it's true corey cussing us is screenshot earlier in our group text of a guy from around where he's from that a super super conservative guy who had posted this thing that said Yeah read it Yeah pull it up pull it up and read it

And Corey had basically said like You know fuck this but like He ain't he ain't saying Nothing wrong right And this is what he said The thing is that he's saying it And happy that this is true I'm reading it mad that it's true

But it is true We put up you know Shout out your tweets which we're about to do, uh, on, you know, hashtag well read election. And he said, um,

this is, this is my take on it or whatever. Party of the sitting president tends to perform poorly in midterm elections. That hasn't and won't happen tonight, even if the Democrats take the house. That's really all you need to know. Democrats have underperformed again despite high turnout. This means two things.

People are overwhelmingly rejecting the progressive policies espoused by the left and 2020 looks good for the right. There's your purpose. this is where it sucks. There's your perfectly executed political analysis. So, I mean, you know. I just don't agree with that at all because the progressive, no, the progressive part, because the left's not putting forth many progressive candidates,

but in the ones that they are are doing better than the moderates. You're completely right about that. But also, that's just, that started out with bullshit because he started it by saying, normally midterm elections don't go well for the suiting president and that's not going to happen tonight. Even if the Democrats take back the House, that's still not going to happen.

Well, what the fuck does that? They've lost one of the fucking brain. Like, they lost it. It got flipped. Like, it's still again, it's not the blue wave that like we were hoping for. But it's a fucking victory for Democrat. Like, objectively, objectively, it's a

victory for Democrats. So to me, the whole rest of it, Democrats have underperformed, in my opinion, because based on how shitty and absurd everything is on the other side, we should be just wrecking shit right now. So that part, what he said I agree with, but his whole thing of like, it's a total failure and America rejects it and all that. I just don't, I mean, no, like, it wasn't, it wasn't a net loss. or a net failure. Like, I mean, it was still a victory. No, that's sure.

And I guess, like, yeah, the more I think about it now, yeah, you're fucking right. At the time when I read that, I was just like, I mean, God damn, you know, what the fuck am I going to say? Because you're upset and disappointed. Yeah, nothing hits. So, do you want to get to some of these? Okay, let's do that. So we told you guys on the Twitter. What did you say?

What was it, true? I just said tweet us your, term takes. Yeah. Well, hashtag, well. a redel. So I have curated, just, I'm going to try to get to all of them,

but we might not have a lot of time. So I've curated some here off the top. First one goes out to someone who I know is listening right now, our man,

Slobber House, who we love. Slober House is one of my favorite. Shout out. Slobber House? Yeah, Slobber House. That's their Twitter name.

Slobber House. He's one of my favorite things on. That's what I think it is. What's that? It's a Kervonigate. A reference. Oh, right on. He could have added a five.

I think it's a he, it looks I mean, his picture is a little boy with a mullet, and I assume it's him. Yeah. Whatever. Who gives a fuck? Slobber house. Wait, excuse me.

I didn't say Slober House. It's Slobber Hose. I'm an idiot. We've all been saying Slaver House. We just been reading what we want. It's Slobber Hose. It's even harder for me. Slobber Hose, follow him on Twitter at Slobber Hose.

He said, is that cryogenic freezing shit a go yet? Can y'all freeze my ass for a few years until the USA pulled. it's a goddamn head out of its ass, thaw me the fuck out when someone's sane is in charge. That's slobberhose. Love that take. Here's DJ Lewis, who y'all know from the podcast last week.

Old skinny bumpkin. He sent a picture of a toucan. And then said, fuck Kemp in his butt with a toucan knife. Now, there's that... Not to completely derail us, but me and him was talking about the other day. Remember when he had that thing

about how all ghosts were, all birds were ghosts. Mm-hmm. And he could feel him in his veins? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It was drugs. This was something he believed.

Well, this is a DJ right there. Wasn't it a cuckoo clocking balls? Yeah, yeah. The reason that he did this, there is some context. Me and him were high as fuck the other night in a... Tukin Blade. North Carolina. Yeah, yeah, we was talking about how...

We've seen somebody's always watching that goddamn Charlie Sheen movie, the inside the mind of Charles Swan. It's on Netflix. It's Wild. as hell. It's been really hard for me to follow this story, and I was there for half of it. Keep going.

Anyways, his pet, toucan died, and we was high, and as soon as he did, I just go, I'd keep the beak. And DJ was like, yeah, man, you put a fucking blade on in that some bitch. Have you a toucan knife

killing a motherfucker with a two can knife? Only problem is, you kill somebody with a two can knife. You better take you somebody's like, God damn, that's a two can knife. Only one motherfucker around here has got a goddamn two can knife. So anyways,

fuck Kemp in his butt with a two can knife. Slobberhose again We're all still fucked We haven't done much to unfuck ourselves Life is just a bad bad dream Old people can suck my dick Golly Slobberhobs is going in

Cali At Foxed Wine on Twitter Ooh, we got a little foxed wine Yeah I know Congrats Florida We now have two shitty dusty balls In charge of this useless floppy dick of a state

That's pretty fucking good. That's what I wanted from somebody tweeting from Fox Twine. Hell yeah, dude. Just the old girl wine drunk. Your fucking dick don't work. Don't hit. You can't do shit right. All right.

Then we've, no, I just, dude, this is how much it hit from me. I screenshot that shit twice. Yeah, I did. Our buddy Jeff Ward, Jeffrey Ward 5 on Twitter, Beto, Beto, is it Beto or Beto? I always, I suck it names. I say Beto. I say Beto. I say Beto.

I say Betto. Jeff Ward says Beto might not have won, but I guarantee that Cruz was sweating through his ill-fitting human suit all night. That's pretty funny. And that's true, so that I hate. I can believe in the context of what we observed that Cruz won. I generally can't believe he beat anybody at anything. I know.

Listen, I get if you're like super right-wing and you don't like O'Rourke, like, fine. How do you bring? yourself to vote for that man. After Trump made fun of his wife to his face and then he just sucks up to him. He said his dad killed fucking JFK or some shit. You're talking about

inspiring people like firing people up like, has there ever been a less inspiring? Like he's just creepy. Like he's off-putting. That's one where I'm like, it's not just that I think it's rigged this year.

I think somehow it's been rigged. How did he ever? win. I know. It's Jesus, right? Ain't it Jesus? I mean, ain't it Jesus? Yes. Wasn't it? Was it Lindsay Graham that said about Ted Cruz that like if they just took a vote in the Senate

Ted Cruz wouldn't even be there because nobody fucking likes him? It was Lindsey Graham. Dude, fuck that motherfucker too, but like God damn. Son of a bitch. All right. Sarah Wofford at Penn Wofford on Twitter said I'm so tired of this election

news cycle and what it shows me about humanity. I'm ready to go back to the normal stuff like being disappointed by a college football team. What up, guys? Student loan payments and crushing... We're a basketball school and we played really well tonight. Well, I'm going to read this over again because it was like a list thing. I'm ready to go back to the normal stuff like being disappointed by a college football team, student loan payments, and crushing existential dread when I think too hard about space. That's one of my fans, ain't it? Oh yeah, I do. And that's a good one. That's a fucking great tweet. Um, then we, oh, hold on, this is a complicated.

Well, let me read this before I say some shit. Oh yeah, this is. This is from Mama Cat on Twitter. Oh, Mama Cat. I had a Mama Cat. I know you did, baby. Mama Cat at Town. Is that?

Oh, Townie Jess. At Townie Jess on Twitter. And she a Townie. My favorite. My favorite, God damn it. My favorite part about helping campaign for my district state Senate election day in Missouri was having an elderly lady screamed that she sure as hell

wasn't voting for the Republican candidate because he was a shitty neighbor. That is hilarious. That woman's also probably mama cat, if I had to guess. This is from Clark French. Oh, here we go. Oh yeah, I saw this one

and I chose not to respond. Yeah, well, you're going to have to now. Hey, guys, y'all let me know when you figure out why our hour, so he is from here, why our mouth breathing brethren continue to vote against their own well-being? Hashtag I think I know why. I read it as your and I feel a little better now. I remember clicking on it and he's from Charlottesville. I know that he's from Charlottesville, but I still was like, what you mean your Charlottesville?

Well, and he lives in Savannah now. Well, I don't know. Now this one hits. People named Clark don't have a problem with it. honestly. Yeah, I know. I'm, I mean, if he's a fucking Southerner, this, and this is a good one.

I mean, you know, fuck him, but I'm good. Engelwich, at Engelwich on Twitter, said. Here you go, baby. Kansas just elected an openly gay Native American woman to Congress, uh, Cherise David.

So that's hashtag progress. Uh, I mean, that's fucking pretty rad. What about a fucking friend of the podcast, Sarah Smarsh's homeland coming through? Mm-hmm. They are. Kansas showed up. Absolutely.

Uh, that's, That's, well, that's all I had. I'll go back to it and see if we got any fucking new shits. Since we started. Yeah, we've been in need to wrap it up, though. I'm going to read one of Seris tweets. Okay. I mean, I'll go to bed, cause.

Yeah, re-serr's tweets and then. Well, she blew a kiss today and Coulter. Kansas is dead to me. So that was great. Damn, she's had a lively night, as you can imagine. So now I can't find it. Here it is. Kansas just went from four white male Republican U.S. representatives to a two-two party split,

one of those Dems being a woman of color, and a Democrat woman beat a Trump acolyte and vote suppressor Chris Kobach in the governor's race. Like your girl's been saying, if you can flip it here, you can flip it anywhere. Yep. I will, that's completely true because Kansas is like as red as you could have been with Brownback as governor. Right. I will say that he was so Tea Party. people had a firsthand look at what it is like if you stop making anyone pay taxes and your fucking state falls apart right well but that but that that's what i and i know

you know midter's only two years in but that right there is what i was saying initially right after trump one as far as like let them laura kelly beat chris cobox ass in kansas by a lot sorry go ahead also how come they ain't but like 800,000 people in all of Kansas. People would ask about, I'm not at all surprised by that, but people would ask about like what's the best way to reach these people

that are hardcore Trump or whatever and what I was saying early on. Pills! Literally it is, I mean it is pills, but literally everyone hated this answer, but it was just like give them give them enough rope

to hang themselves with. Like let them illustrate the fact that they are incompetent and also don't have your interest at heart to begin with, right? And like show them how terrible they are in the way that you were just saying

Brownback did in Kansas. And I'd still like to think that that would happen, but as we're two years in, it's like, I feel like a lot of them think he's hitting. Trump is like all the rope in the world in that regard. No, I know. I mean, yeah, and that fucking sucks, but you're right.

I just going to wrap her up. Wrap her up. No, hang on, hang on. I mean, fuck. Well, no, just... I don't give a shit. Go ahead, baby. Well, I mean, you know, Pete hits.

Pete does hit. I wish you'd fucking say something. I know, that's what I'm saying. No, no, Pete. Let's, before we wrap it up, tell us... It's almost like Pete don't know how to make his voice be heard. About what I want to talk about something I've never voted. That's the back you got voting, you fucking non-contributing piece of shit.

It feels good. I'm happy. Pete was in. Everything was going good for the first five minutes and drew outage you as a non-voter. and now it's just all this you talking about you know you didn't know Drew was having you on just just to take you down Native American ladies who are gay and governor now Lakota lesbian I'm excited Lakota lesbian oh it's the Lakota lesbian it's like her boxing name yeah go to Lakota lesbian in this corner yeah I love it well that's why he wasn't

talking now what's uh of things oh come on he's he's hitting for me So what you got going on, Pete? Anything at all? You want to tell us about? No, I mean, it's just back to New York and, I don't know, you can check out my website that needs to be updated, Twitter, Instagram. I know you have no. Do your Twitter and Instagram. What do we follow you at?

It's at Peter underscore, and then my last name, Revello. I know what we can talk about. That is both P and Well, Rat related. Do you remember when I retwee? tweeted something that you said and one of our fans didn't get it was a joke. So you kept trolling back and forth? All about me being like, on Twitter, like, I'm really straight. Nothing wrong with that?

Like, I'll do like a straight beat. Yeah, like a straight. Hey, a couple guys rubbing each other's shoulder. There's nothing wrong with that. I'm so straight. Straight Pete. Yeah, he did some of that tonight, actually. Before we got on the podcast, he's been running that.

Yeah. He's like, you know, a couple married guys. I'm going to be married soon. Spilling oil on each other. What happens? You get all greased up. You start kissing. Oh, come on.

Straight. So you think you get that name of being gay, I'm straight. I'm a straight guy. I love being, yeah. So I was doing that kind of, and the guy, something of one of your fans. You did one like that. You did one like that. You think you get this name for being gay?

No, you get called Straight Pete for being straight. And he was in the, I think it was Morris was like, oh man. He was like, it sounds like you might be. And I thought he was playing along with you at first. eight bisexual kids. I'm like, how did you do that?

What's what I was going to? It's like he was like picking up like, I'm like, did you adopt them? Like he was like, I'll take the bisexual one. I don't want the straight ones or the gay one. It's like the swirl.

It was funny for me because I just retweeted my comedian friend. Yeah, yeah. It was funny. Without thinking about how the context this would be from someone, you know, taking me a little bit too seriously

and therefore taking my friend way too seriously. It was wild. I mean, I was, I couldn't. Oh, he was like the gay trucker. That was the other guy. Oh, it was Robert.

Oh, it was Robert. It wasn't Morris. It was Robert. No, there was two. It was one. Okay. It was both of them. Yeah.

It's both. Robert comes. He's a big fan. Yeah, yeah. I love Robert. I love Robert and Morris. Yeah. All right.

They're sweethearts. But please continue. I don't know. They, they hate. I'm trying to find the tweets now. Well, they just didn't understand that it was a joke. Like, they weren't doing anything wrong.

It was just so fucking. funny to me because Pete kept it going and he was like arguing with them as that character. It's basically about like lifting weights and like how... They kept being like I don't know maybe you are like a little bit no no no I lift weights sir

and he's like lifting weights doesn't mean you're not gay right hey man well tell that to my fucking dick thing because it goes in ladies you know what I'm saying that was what it was that's right you know what it was We're acting like, hey, we love those guys anyway. Not only did they not do anything wrong, they were being sincere, nice guys.

That's exactly what us. They thought couldn't come to terms to the fact that he was gay. Okay. All right. Yeah, he's trying to help me out. We're assholes. No.

No, it's fucking awesome. It's hilarious. Yeah, yeah, I think that makes it, that's like the best. That's the best way for that to be. They were being men, Ross. They were being sweet old ladies. They were being, yeah, they were being very sweet. I just thought there was, I figured who were the older guy.

the gay trucker the guy was just saying how many bisexual kids he has he has her and it's like great that's great that's great he's like uh but you know what's this what's the guy's name I don't know which one I shouldn't call him gay trucker well and I'm not sure it was Morris but I think it was Morris

I think it was Morris his Twitter is gay trucker something in it like Roberts yeah I was as soon as you said like I yeah as soon as you're like I probably shouldn't call him gay trucker I was like no believe me it's fine he gets off of him yeah you know what truckers don't give a fuck about what you say about them, especially the gay one.

Gay truck, that's his, he loves it. He loves it. Dude, he's far from the only gay trucker, I could promise you. And every single one of them is completely okay with you calling them the gay trucker. I agree with you guys, but like the more y'all say it, the more I'm like, you guys just get, no, no, no, trust me. He's fine. I'm like, all right, relax.

I hear you. This is more about truckers than. True. My papo's a trucker, so was Corrie's. we can say this stuff. Yeah, both of them gay. We can talk about that. Look, dude, my dad was a trucker.

I can say what I want. They're removing statues on TV. That's like what's going on in the background right now. It's this PBS special on removing statues. We're going to clean them. No, I want to dip them in the acid. But real quick, I have a genuine question for you, Pete, because you're from Staten Island.

You started stand up in your 24 or four years ago. Yeah. like I've always thought that anybody that's from New York or L.A. that wants to get into comedy so you're having to start, like your very first time ever doing comedy is like in New York. And, you know, your first two years when you're still figuring out what the fuck this even is, is all in New York the whole time. Yeah.

That's got to be a fucking nightmare, man. Is it not? Because like you can move, like, you could be like, you could be like Corey and move up there. and hit, well, no, like, hit like a motherfucker and, like, have tons of years of experience under your belt, but you get up there and you're still starting over in all these people's eyes. And, like, that sucks and don't hit. But, like, being brand open mic level baby comedian in that place, like, that shit's got to be brutal, man. Yeah, but you don't know any other ones.

Right, right, right. No, it was. Another thing you don't have to deal with that people moving there do is like you're not terrified of the city just in other ways like everybody else is. Yeah, that's all fair. And another thing you have to deal with is like

you don't have any preconceived notions about what's supposed to be happening or how, like I think that I've heard other people say that a lot of people say this right at the beginning, like starting in New York or being established is like I think the two ways to go with and I'm not saying it's easy to start New York,

it's fucking not but like what do you mean or being a set you mean like before you ever move there don't go there till you're established you know quite a few people you've got some credits or setter setter not that it's easy to start there it's fucking not but it's four years

you're better than most people are four years in and you've already gone through it dude i mean i moved there year three I was good but not that good I had like but I didn't know what I was doing in terms of navigating shit and like I I guess I probably kind of felt entitled to certain things.

And so that was like hard to do. Yeah, I had no entitlement. It was just super, but it's weird going up. So I went up to like at the pine box and over the eight, there was like the two mics you start, like I started at. And the people who went up before me had like TV credits. So it's bizarre when you're first starting to do stand up.

Yeah, right, exactly. And like nobody liked you. And I'm like, I hate you just for even being so new. Right. But now that I've been doing like, I get it. Like I don't want to suffer through somebody's newness.

You know, you see their pain on their face and you're like really pulling. him for him. He's like, just stopped. You know, but I almost quit so many times. I remember the first open mic I went to in Knoxville. It's horrible. The like guys there in Knoxville who had been doing it for whatever amount of time and they weren't shit on any level at all, but just in Knoxville, they were there every week

and they had been, you know, had done it for whatever. Yeah. I remember them being like, like the guy, they were, the guy hosting the thing was setting the lineup and it was based on the time you were. arrived and he got to me and I could either go second or 14th out of a lineup of like 18th my first time ever I want to go second I want to get over with and I said uh let's do second let's go say and these guys I'm talking about all like like comically busted out laughing like you know this fucking kid or whatever you know it's like in Knoxville yeah and

the version of that that I feel like has to happen in New York has got to be way more to ignore you. They just ignore you. It's indifference and it's way worse, man. You'd rather, at least you'd acknowledge your existence.

I talked about that with Corey, I think. That was the hardest thing about New York. It's fucking hate me all day long. But indifference, are you fucking shit? Nobody cares. What do you mean? Like, wouldn't, like, talk to you?

Yeah, look at you, didn't watch your set, didn't pick their head up the whole fucking time in your set? If there was a moment, there would never be a moment where we would all sit around and pick our spot because Jesus Christ, what kind of fucking bullshit with that? But if they did, no one would have been like, no one would have, you just said second and no one would have heard or given a fuck ever. Right. And it's the New York default.

It's the New York fake. The way out here in L.A., it's like you smile, smile, smile, that's how you're fake. In New York, you pretend not to fuck, give a fuck, even if you kind of do. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, there's something, you know, like having, when I moved to L.A., I moved out here with, shit going on but also as an internet guy which has its own stigma in the comedy world and like out here i've either had like i've definitely i've definitely had the indifference thing where people just act like i'm not even in the room i've also had a lot of people be very very cool about it and then

i've had people be you know just shitty for no reason like i asked them a very benign question about you know if you guys seen you know whatever the manager's name is like you guys seen lord whatever you're just like, no, dude, no. I was like, okay,

well, I was just, no, man, and say, you know, whatever, that type of,

like, clearly just get the fuck out type of thing. So you got to be based on. I've had a range of it so I get that, but it's a completely different context

than being new and starting out and not knowing anything about any of this. Not knowing anything about the most important part, the actual doing it, the performing part,

you know, that you've got to learn about, on top of that having to deal with all this like I don't know political bullshit that goes with being in but I get what they're saying about if you're from there and all like you just don't you know you don't know anything different like that's just that's just the reality that's just how it goes

I think the only downside of coming up in New York is that like it gets like the clipy showcase that's what you get like that's you get like the Norman sort of that's but you ask people in New York the King's shit in New York to do like 45 an hour. It's, it kind of falls apart. Like a lot of the big, you know what I mean? Like, they have like prestige in New York, but you can do, they can do 15, 20. Dude.

And then once you get to an hour, it gets a little lop. Dude, I swear, I have, I have the opposite problem out here because like our tour and we all do longer. And I've been doing like headliner length sets for a while now. And I come out of here and doing something. And it's like five. And I've got five minutes. And five minutes is insanely hard for me now.

because like that feels like nothing to me like i like i can't fucking 20 ever haven't done it in a very long time you know comically i'm sorry but like yeah it's insane but yeah five minutes like that's like a that's a joke or they're not a joke a bit a bit and if that bit if that bit don't like it's all my jokes are like 10 minutes i do three jokes in my mind this i have three jokes i do on stage one's 10 one's 10's the other's 10 i do 30 and i close that's amazing that's just how that's how I know. It's just great to have that much space. You don't get that much space in New York. That's not going to happen.

Honestly, those are both limitations though. Like being the version of like, oh, I can fucking, I can kill and a five, I got an amazing five and an amazing 10 or whatever, but like you said, you give them 45 and they fall apart. That's weird. That's obviously bad. It's also not great

to be the opposite, to be what we are, to be like to struggle with five minutes cents or whatever. That ain't fucking good either. Like, you need be able to do both, you know? Like, but I also feel like you can get, in L.A. and New York, you can get too much of the city on you. You know what I mean? Like, you, like, you're too much, you can become too much of a New York or L.A. comic to where, like, if you go out and you do, uh, fucking, uh, Zanis in

Nashville or whatever, like a, you know, a hitting club, but just somewhere else in the country, like, I always think it's, it's going to be fucking rough for you, you know, because, It's different in either of those two places. People in most other places ain't like that. Well, like, so one-liners were like a huge thing back in the day, and then they kind of like fell by the waist side or like shorter sets, like, you know, joke, joke, joke, joke. That used to be the thing. And then it was like your carlens, your priors were like, no, we're in long form, whatever.

And one-liners, like when someone was a one-liner, it was a big, you called him that. Like Stephen Rides, like, oh, he's a one-liner comment. You used to would not say that shit. Right. Mitch Hedberg's like, oh, he's like a short bit kind of dude. that's, that's unique. There's a lot of those dudes now, and it's because of fucking Twitter,

which is fine, but, like, that's really, that's a thing that, like, if Twitter was a thing when I first started, I'd probably have a better type five, I really believe that I'd have a better, yeah,

because I was just trying to write fucking, as long as I could, long bits, long-winded, let's take as much out of this bullshit as I can. And then Twitter came along, and it's like, all right, you got 140 characters, fucker, you better make this succinct.

And then I had just, and now I write quicker, stuff, but like, I wouldn't, I didn't come up in that shit. You know what I mean? I think outside of just Twitter also, I mean, I don't know, but I know, well, no, just like where we're at when you start, the first open mic you go to, at that very first open mic, you're probably doing seven or eight minutes at your very first open mic set. So like, from the very beginning, Brooklyn, you're doing two.

I know. That's what I'm saying. And like, that makes a huge difference. Like, from the very beginning, when you start out in the middle of the country somewhere, you're like trying to fill time like purposefully because you have more from the jump. Whereas in New York or L.A., yeah, when you're first starting, yeah, you get 90 seconds or two minutes or whatever. And then it just goes from there. That has to impact the way people develop as comedians.

Yeah. In New York, you think you learn how to write a joke quicker. And when you guys came up, it's more of a performance, more of a show. Right. And more of a, like, you know, an exploration. where in New York is just, can you make a joke in like two minutes, like not even 30 seconds.

It's like in New York, you know, it's busy moving city, let's do the next thing in South, right. We ain't got shit to do, stay up there. You know what I mean? Well, you guys want to, you guys want to fucking, Drew, you need to go to bed? All right, Pete, did you give your Twitter and Instagram and everything?

It's just at Peter underscore, and my last name, Ravelo, R-E-V. Yeah, follow straight Pete. And, uh... Hold on you cut him off. Spell your last name? Oh, it did. Oh, R-E-V-E-E-L-O. Italian, the big old...

On the V. A W-W-P. Yeah, my last name, R-E-V-V. Okay, anyway, guys, just to check out Pete. We're going to wrap it up. I'm Ken Kessington. I'll also put it in the description because I'm an asshole. Racist against Italians.

Yeah. Oh, dude. Oh, without a doubt. We're the most persecuted... No, that's us. Yeah, without a doubt. In the country... Were you going to say white people?

No, in general, man. Oh, wow. Everyone can make fun of black. The battalion, listen, that's another time, I guess, but... And we've got a lot of things in common, like, because pasta is just slippery biscuits. You know what I mean? That's all it is. Slippery biscuits.

Slippery biscuits. Slippery, hell yeah. I feel like you just insulted pasta and biscuits. No, I did. Slipery biscuits hits. Slipper biscuits do hit. Pasta hits. Okay.

Biscuits are flaky pasta. I see, now you're pissing the biscuits off. Yeah, that don't hit. Slipery biscuits hits. What did I say? You know what, though, this whole podcast I've been saying, we don't need moderates. You fucking, you fucking say what you think, Corey, and you stick with it. Slippery Biscuits hits.

There we are. All right, y'all, well... Slippery Biscuits, 2020. I'm going to end on this one well-read election tweet just because this is our boy, John Trotter, who does a lot of art. If you ever go and we're retweeting the drawings that... Paint Monkey Art. Paint Monkey Art.

This is our buddy. He does hit. He drew. this thing of me for my birthday of me on Charlie Daniels back yelling at him. I trolled Charlie Daniels? I stopped doing it finally. How old is he? He's like a 95-year-old man. I don't know. He doesn't hit.

To be fair, it started innocently. No, a bag attached to his side takes the piss out of him. To be fair, it started innocently. He tweeted and someone else retweeted it that Taco Bell shouldn't make jokes about the Illuminati. And I just thought that was hilarious. I went and followed him and started fucking with him about the Illuminati, and then I saw how

insane he actually was, and I was like, all right, well, I got to... And he never blocked me. I mean, I would just, I would be so... Those manners, they never quit, huh? Yeah, he don't know how to do it. Well, I was also trolling him, though. I would agree with him, but in a way that was, like,

ridiculous, so there's a part of me that's like, yeah, he just thought I was a fan. Yeah, he definitely read him. All right. So, uh, at Paint Monkey Art said, and, you know, the sad truth of it is is that Stacey Abrams did still lose, but this is kind of cool. It gives me a little.

It's nice. He said, y'all appreciate this. Walking Garbage Pile, Brian Kemp's campaign is watching the results in Athens, Georgia, go dogs. And in Athens, Clark County, they voted for Stacey Abrams 70 to 28. So they had to sit there. Yeah, I mean, yes, they won, but I just loved knowing that everybody watching them just fucking hated them. And, you know what I'm saying? That rules for me.

Athens, where, you boy, the show is heading off to this weekend to see my dogs play Auburn. So if you're tailgating out there, look for my big headed ass and give me some hot dogs or some shit because I'll be too drunk to cook them. Anyways. Hang on one last hit note that, as you said that, I'm reading this shit. Just to keep hope alive for everybody tonight, as Drew mentioned earlier, Democrats taking the House back means that Mueller is somewhat protected from Trump now. and also that Trump's tax returns can be requested and that can be done unopposed with the Democrats having control of the Ways and Means Committee. So maybe it's actually going to be a little bit of actual oversight going on we can hope for. So maybe things won't be terrible.

But his tax returns won't reveal anything illegal in and of themselves or the fucking IRS would have already gotten him before he ever ran for president. It might reveal some connection to Russia, but the people who are fans of him have proven time and time it in. that they don't give a fuck. I hear you, but it's still, Goddammit something. I know, I just wanted to lift up your spirits. Let's take something. All right, anyway, love y'all. Yeah, I look forward very much to finding out why none of what you just said will ever matter

because hope is a goddamn lie. So we're out of here, and again, like I said, I don't want to edit this, so I, do you want to sing with me. We can do a skew. We can do that. Thank. Oh, yeah, we had to do ski. Oh, I'm fucking up. Schooooleer.

Skew. I can. You sound like an old dog Yeah, I know Which I am an old dog Can you give me a reference again? Give me a skew Scoo!

Scoo! That ain't bad. All right, no, I'm not great. Thank you all for listening to the well-read show. We'd love to stick around longer, but we got to go. Tune the next week if you got nothing to do. Thank you, God bless you. Good night and skew.

Sliber and biscuit. The earth is going to burn, motherfuckers. Robert Skewler. Progressive presents Freshest Moments. Hey, Jess, want to come for a ride on my motorcycle? You know, we can talk about our feelings and explore our emotional compatibility. I thought you'd never ask.

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