wellRED podcast - #93 - #WellREDBonerJams Bracket Selection!!

Episode Date: November 20, 2018

It's the moment that you all (I hope) Have been waiting for: The boys have selected the bracket for #wellREDBonerJams!!!Listen up and then stay tuned on our twitter because we will have a bracket that you can vote on!! It's Bangers, it's Slow Jams, it's some sleepers!!! SKEEEEWWWW! wellredcomedy.com for tickets

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion. Because used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie, I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now. Skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people. People across the ske universe, I should say. Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year? Do you even know?

Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery? Getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low mane? Because that's a thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better, and it's called Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app

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Just when I did something stupid. Something fat, I think, and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first, but then I quit using it and was still paying for it and forgotten. If it wasn't for Rocket Money, I never would have even figured it out. So shout out to them. They help.

If you're money dumb like me, Rocket Money can help. So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney. dot com slash well read today that's rocket money.com slash well r e d rocketmoney.com slash well read and we thank them for sponsoring this episode of the podcast. They're the. This spring at Target celebrate the sun end designers Fee Noelle, Agua Bandita, and Road, each

inspired by the vibrant colors, patterns, and textures of their worldly backgrounds. Shop the limited time target spring designer collection now. in store and on target.com. So, you got something in your bag? My microphone. No, it smells good. It doesn't smell like Mr. Butt. Oh, that's probably my cologne.

Savage. The microphone smell like savage. Are we, now this kind of smells like butt. Are we going? What's going? Are we going? I may have brief butt onto it. Because of the fact that he said that,

I've been over here just like, breathing in and out like just like like I know I do that anyway but like you hear what we're saying and you got pink eye now we don't hit well how are we going to

what are you on first? You think this stinks? It smells like candy or cheap soap to me. I can't really smell anything. Mine I smell it I smell what you're talking about it doesn't smell like cologne but it doesn't smell that it's not a bad smell. It's like a candy cheap cheap soap kind of thing I think it smells like kind of powdery.

Yeah, I'm with that. Like a powder, like some kind of medicated powder situation or something. You know what? It's a mix of medicated power, candy and cheap soap in his bag. I keep in that in the pouch where it was was where my cologne, my arm and hammer deodor. A little bit of that. That's part of it, I think, for sure.

There's something fruity, though. Keep going. Skittles. And my ball powder that I got is from, from, like, Framunda, Frumunda cheese to play ball powder. Yeah. Framunda ball powder.

Yeah. Today's podcast is brought you by Skittles and Frumunda Ballpower. I have that and this isn't an advertisement, but I do also be using their soaps and it, their soaps make me smell like I just rolled around in raw carrots and it hits for me. Like the way carrot juice smells? Yeah, just like a bag of baby carrots. Like it's a light, subtle carrot smell, but it's not earthy?

That's another thing we could call you is baby carrot. Yeah, it's for me. DJ Baby carrot. But, yeah, so that's all the smells. You're trying to chase that? It's flashing? No, I'm thinking about erasing one of the boards, but surely that one's good to go, right? I should ask him.

I know that he said not yet. I mean, it was like, it was recently, but it was last week. I've also taken a picture of that, so if we needed to recreate it, we could. Okay, because I'm thinking about, well, I'm thinking about drawing a bracket on the board.

Okay, yeah. We are currently on ABC Disney Studios lot, recording this podcast, and we are about to erase a lot of the work we have done in order to bring this bracket to you. We're only going to, like, physically erase it. It was not us who. Literally erased it.

Yeah. Right. in a metaphysical sense. Anyway. We, though, we have a lot of work to do here. This is hashtag well-read boner jams

addition to electric bugaloo. We're going to get to the bottom of it. Our good buddy slobberhoes on Twitter, that's what I'm trying to pull up on my goddamn computer, but I can't sign in this motherfucking Disney internet.

You can't get it to work on your computer? No, it ain't. I don't hit. No, and I want to, because I want to, like, I'm trying to, like, actually be in a producer role right now. Like I feel cool. I've got the computer in front of me.

I can look up all that, like, you know, I can figure out if Wallace Sean is dead now. We don't have to just blanket statement out, but I can't fucking figure it out. So do you got it over there, Trey? I'm sorry. I didn't, I wasn't listen to you. While we're here and you're figuring all that out, let me just do something real quick, if that's okay. Well, read Comedy.com, W-E-L-R-E-D, Comedy.com, spelled just like the podcast. we are going to be next week in Washington, D.C. at the Washington, D.C. Improv, one of our favorite clubs in the entire world.

That's from December 1st through the 3rd? That's the end of November, 3rd, December 3rd, 20th or something like that. So then I'm just going off the top of my dome here. Then we're going on in the middle of December. We're going to be in Kansas City, right, at the Kansas City Improde? And also St. Louis. And St. Louis. That's like the 13th through the 15th.

So go to Wellworkcom.com, grab those tickets. then the last shows of 2018 or our lives, depending on if we die next year. Who knows? We might die. Yeah, we might jump off something. Are you, I fuck yeah. What would you jump off of?

What would I jump off of? Oh, man. I don't know. Like, because, like, I just had this bad feeling that, like, if I jumped off a bridge, I'd end up getting scared and then, like, doing, like, the most perfect pencil dive at the end

and living, but breaking my knees. Right. You know what I'm saying? I know where you were going was I would survive and then be maimed. But for a second, what it sounds like

is like, I just, you know, I might survive that and I can't have that shift. You're just, I might find out that I hit it diving

and then I've got to go do that. Or like, I failed everything, including kill myself. Including that. I don't hit. But I feel like it's definitely going to have to be

something where it's like there's no walking away from this. Like Empire State Building level high. Or the Batman building in Nashville, Tennessee, where we'll be December 22nd? December 21 through the 23rd

at my favorite goddamn place. on the planet. Zanies in Nashville. Tickets are going crazy. They're going fast. As Trey would say, they're going like hot chicken. I love the. God damn. It's so much fun. So we're going to be there.

So not only that, we're going to be there all weekend. We'll be fucking hanging out going downtown Nashville. I'm going to take exactly where we're going to be, but you'll probably run into us. And if you do, you know, buy me a bunch of drinks and hot chicken. But we're going to be hanging out. It's going to be well-red in Nashville all weekend. And I'm fucking pumped. Are you pumped, Tray?

I'm pumped. Sweet. So go to Well, Wedcomedy.com, W-L-L-R-E-D, Comedy.com, spelled just like the podcast. This portion of the podcast, as always, is brought to you by Smokey Boysgrilling.com. Go to Smokey Boysgrilling.com to get all the rubs for all your meats. Also, carvevodka.com. Go to carve vodka.com. If you want to get drunk like the show, which I know you do, go to carvevodka.com and carve your own path.

All right. Well, well, well, red. I like it when we do this on the day. I'm about to post it, so y'all help me out with that. Thank you, Drew. So our good buddy at Slobberhose on Twitter has made this pretty good goddamn bracket for us, and we're going to now. I guess we're just going to go through it waiting on our...

We need to... It's so funny. I got two questions. One, I think, for me personally, I think we need a few changes or additions. I think we need to expand it. Okay. He's got a 16-s-song bracket. think we need 32.

I think there's also an argument to me made that there's like an NIT section. Okay, that's fine with me. And also, Soabre hose does hit. Don't get me wrong. He does hit. But are you saying we're just taking his pre-made bracket and that just becomes our bracket? Because I don't know that I'm on board with that. I'm definitely not on board with that.

Page has, also, Paige has provided an exhaustive list that I told her I would go through on the podcast. So we're like, and I'm sure there's a lot of commonalities. Did she make an actual list or bracket or something? She didn't see. it or nothing. I think our goal today is to come up with a 32 song bracket. And then we're just going to let people vote on Twitter, right? Okay.

Well, but we have to pit them against each other. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's what we're doing today is pitting them against each other. We're going to see it too. So it's 16 on each side, one side of bangers, one side of slow jams. That's what I'm thinking. Or you could do... 16 is probably going to be tough, like 16 of each of us.

Or you could do eight bangers and eight slow jams and eight bang, you know what I mean? Like the east-west, north-south thing? Oh, yeah, to see who... You could be four. different segments. Plus, sometimes there's like a banger that's a banger and then there's a banger that's a dance number and those are slightly different. Like single ladies ain't really a banger, but it ain't a slow jam. Just as an exam. What about the ignition remix? Survivor's a banger, but like R&B also, not like yin-yang twins. We could easily

come up with four is all I'm saying, four categories. Okay, but what are they though? Well, so umbrella of bangers and slow jams, okay? There's love slow jams and there's grinding slow jams. That's what I would, you know what I mean? There's like, we're going to be together forever and, ooh, girl. Like bump and grind. Yeah, there's bump and grind versus all my life. There's, I want to fuck you slow jams and there's, we've been fucking slogers.

Okay, let's get married and then let's not tell you daddy what we do in the barn. Okay, four, it's four, and I think it's 16 and each. You want to do? So, listen, bangers, slow jams. you want to do a full bracket Hybrids and catch all okay I like catch all they just don't seem to fit in the other ones

but hybrids would be like you said single ladies or like ignition remix and stuff like that I'm fine with any of that but you're saying 64 yeah I'm fine with that here's where the problem is with that if we do let people just straight up vote

we got to tweet out 32 tweets of voting and then another round after that. Okay, but not for nothing. We're about to be on Thanksgiving break, baby. We got time? I don't know, maybe 64. Maybe it's too much.

And also, I don't know. I'm kind of back to just two sides, bangers and slow jams. When it's an either-or situation, we'll just make a judgment call and throw it on one of them. And I thought this is like us, like in the South. But, like, again, the slow jams, like at my school, it wasn't just rap slow jams. I know. I'd like, again, it's like, again, Lone Star and fucking, maybe I'm amazed by you. I'd like to say something to here like, yeah, we're going to put this to a popular vote, but like,

electoral college is going to win this motherfucker. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's still going to, like, I just hate to say that, but like it is. I don't give a fuck. I don't know about that. Because, dude, well, all right, okay. We'll see what. No, I have faith in our favor.

Well, all right, here's the first question, though, in terms of executive decisions. I mean, Pony Ortonn't even be in it, right? That's last year's winner. I mean, it's a one seed for show. Okay, you think it should be. How's it lose? How do we... Return of the Mac?

Hold on. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, but that wasn't really a boner jam. We should probably... That was more high school. We should restrict it. Maybe it's an age different thing. We should restrict it to era, maybe.

Returner to Matt came out in the 90s, dog. Yeah, he's right. That wasn't high school. That was definitely... I guess that's when we got it. That song's so good that you also just listened to it in high school. It's a timeless internal class. I know that.

I know that. But I don't remember grinding to that song in middle school. Turn of the Mac came out, like probably before middle school. Because you didn't grind to that song. That was a fucking air bite. Oh, shit. Well, I thought this was a Boner Jam question. It's both.

I had a Boner Jam. I know that. Let's define the parameters of that. We only called it Boner Jam. This is middle school dance songs for like our generation. That's it. Just the best ones. Yeah, but divided into bangers and slagher.

And in fairness, we also. I do believe we said, but it's fine to change it, that it's the best songs to rub your boner or boner rubbed on you to. But I still maintain that if the song hits hard enough, it's both. And also... What I'm saying is when returning Matt comes on, I ain't trying to grind on nothing. I'm trying to dance, son. Right, but okay.

And also, let me say this. Did you see him just measure how wide his spread is? Let me say it's almost the width of the board. He can almost hug a whiteboard. Do that again, Trey. Let me say this too, because it keeps getting not said. We, like, a lot of our fans, hell most of them didn't go to middle school at the same time we did. We got to do era.

Yeah. And what the she thing is, it's like, dog, you know, thriller fucking beats everything. Sure. Like, so. We got to do error. Yeah, we have to restrict it. If it's open up to just everything. First restriction is era.

I'm asking if the second restriction is. When the song came out? Yeah, I think so. Okay, from when to win. And this will actually help a lot because any time we bring up a song, we can look up when it came out and it can be disqualified. All right. Because that's like retirement back. That's fucking not.

But that's when a lot of them bangers are with them. I was in middle school. I was in middle school through high school. I was going to school dances from 98 to 2004. Okay, but I started going to dances in like 95 or 6. So we'll say 96. 96 to 2006. That's a 10-year window.

That's a great window. 96 to 2006. Yeah, that's 100%. That's 2006. Now we are going to have a lot of Beyonce's. That's fourth grade for me to my senior year. That's fucking perfect or whatever. My only not, it's not a problem, but my fear with the 2003 to 2006.

I mean, that's when we started getting into real music. I don't even know what the number one bangers. That's fine, though. We just won't have them motherfuckers on there. Okay. That was get low, by the way, though. That was in that 2002-2003. Well, then, buddy, that's got to go up there.

You got damn right, it does. Shake it like a salt shaker. Arguments could be made for that, too. To the window. To the window. To the wall. Oh, skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet, motherfucker.

Oh, skit, sckeet, god damn it. You ever... Way too big. Yeah, you should have started the other way, I think. You ever dream... It's like a whole bit or a whole joke or something like perfect in your head. I did drink. This morning Earl left at like seven and I nodded back off from like seven to seven 30.

And in that 30 minutes had this little dream. And in the dream it was Amber picking me up from the airport. It felt very real. It was Amber picking me up from the airport and taking me home for Thanksgiving. And I was singing. And like in my dream I made all these words up. It was a country road. take me home to my goddamn mama's house

I need some turkey and some dressing Fuck my butt Country roads And I woke up laughing real hard So that's on there That's on the list That's my number one Yeah

Country roads fuck my butt Yeah I'd love to rub my bunner on a turkey Can I point something out too Is it me rubbing my butter on a turkey? I mean that would hit But what hits even harder for me is that like Sometimes it's all we can do to get Trey to hold the microphone to do this podcast.

And the second it got brought up that we was about to do some nerd shit. He was like, can I make the bracket? He stood up. He was like, I'm going to do this. He's up there making measurement. He's got a T-square for no reason. First of all, you just said the other day, when talking to someone on this lot,

who we haven't known for very long, what's your guys process when it comes to the podcast or whatever? you said well typically what happens is like uh tray or somebody will have something that we should talk about or come up with a subject and yeah and that got laughed at and you said well it is usually tray that comes up with what we're going to talk about that's true yeah i pointed out tray or somebody me it's i'm the only other one it's just tray the holding them it's not laziness and holding the mic it's that apparently i hold a mic wrong right that i don't even care i wasn't even caring about that no more And honestly, I was just making a joke to talk about how fucking nerdy you are. You're right. This is all because of you. Like, there's no denying the podcast, the tour, the book, my whole life.

What year to because of you come out? Because of you? That's way later because it was Kelly Postson 1 in 2001. I don't know. 2006? I mean, it might. Actually, no, no, no. It was before because it was on her first record.

What is 2006? Is that when one of y'all graduated high school? I graduated high school in 2006. But I can't like... Did you go to dance as your senior year? I mean, prom. my problem i didn't take a date i went in a periwinkle suit and i took ecstasy and i made my own pimp cup i don't want of granny's old tea glasses i spray painted gold i think it should be like

96 to like oh four that's fine because dude honestly i mean core i picked those sis because that's when he graduated like that just seems like the way to do it i mean that i feel like if there's a song it came out of this it's from when you started to when he left i get that i get that but it's ten years but my i know that but that's a lot of songs first of all that's my number one problem My number two problem is his senior year, my senior year, dude, I don't know what I had grinded to my senior year. We're trying to leave to dance, get drunk. That's true. Okay, we're not saying we have to pick songs from 2006, but if one comes up and we're like, oh, yeah, that's one, and it was 2006, then it can be in there.

Okay. That's all we're saying. Like, we don't have to go fishing for these motherfuckers. You and me going fishing in the dark. Sucking on Rewaners and putting it in park in my daddy's truck. Right. Isn't that how it goes? No, I thought it was something about Farts.

I'm like, I started out doing improv and stopped because I was like, I'm not really that good at this, I'm better at stand up. But if we're just doing improv about country songs, I can go in seamlessly. Also, you were like 16. You probably weren't that great at stand-up then either. Oh, no, I got better. Oh, I wasn't good at anything. But I'm saying you would have got way better. You would have been great at improv.

Oh, that's right. I would have been. I think the only problem with improv is that sometimes, instead of doing the best joke, you have to do something different. Yeah, you have to set people up. I don't think that's selfish necessarily. No. Well, I think... I mean, you are, and that's also a problem.

Right. No, but I just, I immediately recognize my problem, and it was that. Like, somebody would do something that didn't hit. And instead of just being like, all right, next scene, I'd be like, I can make it head. And then I just go redo it, make a hit. That's not... I didn't yes and. I yes hammed.

Yes, ham. Yes, ham. The Corey Ryan Forrester method. Yeah. Now we can teach improv classes in charge a million dollars. Yeah, dude, apparently. like, yeah, no, we definitely could on account of like, I see people who don't hit teaching comedy classes.

And I'm like, I mean, I guess the fact that I'm not teaching a comedy class is indicative of the fact that I hit. But I do hit. Therefore, why don't I just teach one of these goddamn classes? Because you don't want to. Of course I don't want to. I mean, yeah, that's literally a saying. Those who can't do teach, which is a shitty saying in general.

But like I'm saying, that's why that, I mean, yeah. If you truly hit at it, you'd be out hitting. Right. Unless you used to hit and now you went back to, you know, teach. That's really the only two scenarios, in my opinion. Or you just like, you just don't like the road. Or, yeah, or I don't know if this applies to stand-up. I feel like this applies, just from what I know about some of Andy's acting classes.

Like, her guy hit. He did a lot of stage shit. You know what I mean? He loved teaching more, genuinely. Right. Now, it wasn't like he was giving up a movie story. career, but he had a career. Well, there's also people like fucking,

I'm trying to, goddammit, slobber hose, there you are buddy. In golf, people are always like, well, Butch Harmon's the greatest golf teacher of all time. Why wasn't Butch Harmon's career better? Because he knows how to fix his swing, not hit the ball 500 dollars. And there's a difference in being able to play that good and being able to play that good in front of a crowd of

thousands of goddamn people. To be fair, that's sort of what those who can't teach means. Exactly. For sure, but I'm saying it also implies that that person can't do shit and do it. Sometimes it's like, yeah, they are a better teacher than they are a doer of the thing, but they fucking really hit. It's a great skill to have. Well, and also, what's that guy's name?

Butch Harmon. He would whip everybody's ass at golf that's saying that shit about him. Dude, everyone. Right. Or sometimes they literally just like they could have, but they hurt their back, but now they can still teach you how to do it. That's true, too. Yeah. It also goes in reverse, I think a lot of times, or at least I've heard, it's not like he's

proven that he don't hit at it or nothing, but like I've heard it said a lot, and it makes sense to me, that people like Peyton Manning wouldn't be a good coach because like the all-time because like, because, you know, anytime the UT head coaching vacancy comes up, so every two years, people start talking about Peyton Manning being, you know, coming in, and I always hear it pointed out, and I feel like this makes sense that a lot of all-time greats don't really make good coaches because they look at. somebody who ain't hitting and it's just like, why ain't you hitting? Right.

Just hit. I don't know. Look, watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Look. Throw that. See how much that hit?

Do it. Hit. Do that. What the fuck is wrong with you? You know what I mean? Right. And I feel like that makes sense. There was an article about how great Mahomas is.

It was just in ESPN, the quarterback for the chiefs. And it was talking about the dude was trying to ask him about his throwing. And he was like, yeah, I don't know. I just, I don't know. I'm just, I'm just really good throwing. And the guy was like, all right, but your technique. and he goes, my dad was a pitcher. He taught me a unique technique,

but I can't tell you what the technique is. I'm just good at it. Okay, I've got to bracket up on the board. You start calling something out. So look, this is... Can we call it instead of bangers and slow jams, bangers and smash? We can't.

That's a head hits for me. That does hit. I'm going to race another thing, but all right. Anyway, we can't put them up here one at a time, unfortunately. We have to make a list and then determine. Yeah, in case of a... Well, we could, but then you'd have to do what you just did a lot. It just also just don't make sense to do it that way.

So let's start with bangers. Okay. They're on the left here. Cho, give me some of the list that you got. Okay, here's definitely a banger, which is one of my bangerous bangers of all time. What's your fantasy by Lips? Absolutely.

There's no way that's not on the board. Dude, yeah, of course. It's a high seed, in fact. Yeah, this is going to be 128 song. bracket. No, it's 16 on 16 because I've drawn it and I don't know how to draw a bracket bigger than that. Look at that. Also.

Just keep going. Yeah, I know, but I'll be writing all over the wall. Let's sue. Also, back that ass up without a bad. Hard to beat, dog. Hard to beat. Easy to beat it too. Hell dude, easy.

See, that's one of them two that's like, I'm trying to dance, but that song very much makes my waney wiggle. Okay. Keep going. Yeah. It's about someone back in their. butt up on your weenie. Okay. Let's say, hot in here, Nelly.

Mm-hmm. That was a good. Mm-hmm. This ain't on the list, but I'd also like to throw up deaf country grammar for sure. That's his first one, and that was, like, one of the first ones I remember. That actually reminds me of a stipulation. I think that one rule we should add. Yes.

One part. Each artist gets one. To me, it's country grammar, but. I think for dance purposes, it's hot in here. Because, I mean, think about it. Take off all your clothes. Sometimes they did. No, I always did.

No, I'll buy that. You ready for more? Yeah, when did Can I get a come out? Can I get a whoo? It was on the blueprint album, so I believe 98. Go ahead and look up returning to Mac. Okay, I'm coming. I believe that Jay-Z should be big pimping.

Okay. I could buy that, yeah. That's 100% true. Big pimping. Or, or, display my whiteness here. What about encore slash numb? I was going to say, where does that go? Because that fucking Lincoln Park, his, the mashup album is so fucking rad.

Get them, Jay. Who you know fresh and whole. Riddle me that. Do, do, do, do. Come on, dude. We either got to make a slight exception. Because it's a hybrid, or I think that's better than Big Pimpin personally. Young H.O.

rap's great from dead. Look, this subjective type thing, whatever. That wasn't really played at my middle school. We all went to different schools. That did hit for me. It wasn't. It ain't even a question in my, in terms of this. I literally never heard that song at a dance.

I didn't really? Never was. I agree this is better, but we didn't play it. We played it all the time, usually twice. Big Pimpin's definitely the standard for me, and it came out in 99, so it checks. Yeah, I don't even know when an encore came out. When did Return the Mac come out? Corey is looking to see when Return of the Mac came out.

I'm putting party up on here for sure. No, without a doubt, dog. Who is that? DMX. That's what I thought. Hold on. Rough Rider's anthem was way more popular at my school. Again, not for a...

This is a dance club banders. You tell you how we danced. You're wild. Yeah, but you're playing metal and shit. Yeah, we did. Four-wheeler's in the gym. Just barely making the cut. Mark Morrison's return of the Mac released 1996.

Put it on the board. the rest of y'all. Yeah, dude, that's like the five-five coming in, son. Now, one thing, other thing I'll say about this song, and I don't feel like, I feel like I'm going to get a lot of pushback here. Obviously, I knew it was great. I didn't know that was the best song in the history of the world until probably my sophomore year of college.

Yeah, and see, that's why I'm kind of... I liked it in middle school. I'm kind of mad. But I got way more hype about Big Pimping. I'm almost inclined to just be like, look, return the Mac, we need to just hang that jersey up. You know what I'm saying? Because, like, how can you beat it?

Well, you can be the best song in the world and not be the best. That's the whole point of this. I know you're right. Make him say, uh, oh, yeah. Okay, we can, uh, erase, like, we can put more than 16 and then take and then eliminate. Right. Right.

Okay. This is a hybrid situation, but now what do we do, make him say on you. What do we do with Beyonce? And, and R. Kelly, in my opinion. That's Pity Pablo. Yeah, it's that. He's a, so. shirt off.

I'm a brief, just, I got you right here right now. before we got what's your fantasy by ludicrous back that ass up by juvenile hot in here by nelly big pimping by j z party up by dud dog return to the mac by mark morrison make him say un by master p and raise up by p d p de p ob low that's what we got so pdipob motherfucker first is headed off of north carolina what do you got thong song yeah that's got it's yeah that's great don't tom tom tom tom oh this is a personal favorite of mine it might not make the cut but i want it too close. That's over here, like without a doubt. Okay, because that's a slow jam,

but one about fucking and not about loving. All right, I'm down with that. Bop and grind also if we're going over to that list. We ain't yet. Okay, I saved them. It's still bangers. Let me read you some of my sister's list. Oh, yeah, this is going to be some good shit.

A lot of stuff we already on there, and we're allowing one per artist. Get your roll on, or, wait, get your roll on. Who'd that buy that? That's big. Timers. Get your roll on or still fly. Still fly.

Yeah. Not even a question. I love both, but it's not even a fucking question. I said Limp Biscuit because I was thinking of rolling. And then I just got excited about Limp Biscuit. We talked about them on the last one how like, I think Limp Biscuit might have a 14 seat on here. He said, right. He said she said bullshit dog.

That was a good. Nookie? When it get low come out? I'm going to say 2004. Let me look it up, though. Yeah, I'm going to say 2004 too. Because I know. To the window.

I know it wasn't 06 because I can remember college parties. We act like we was in middle school. 2002, freshman year. So, yeah. Some that Page put on here that I know, I'm pretty sure at least, predate this. This is how we do it. It's pre-96, right? I think it's 94.

California love. I think he says it's 1994. California love is. It has to be because Tupac died in 95. That don't mean shit. Oh, right. Yeah, he put out some shit. He stayed out, bangers.

And I think he died. And I think he died at 96. he did die in 96 California love and this is how we do it I know California love would keep us in the video right

he ain't done that yet other than the hologram but I don't know about I think that missing it by one year and all of you motherfuckers are lucky Montel Jordan 95 this is how we do it

because that motherfucker that's a damn first thing he does say 94 but he says Once upon a time in 94 Montel made no money in life she was slow and all they said was 6-8 he stood and people thought the music

that he made was good. Okay, what about California love? There's no way he was in the video. But he died 96. That could have come out in 96. Right, right, right, right. I don't think it did. It was 96.

Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Yeah, that's when all eyes on me came out. God damn. That whole fucking record. Twitter listeners, y'all have a Herculean job in front of you. Yeah, this is... I don't even know how we're going to...

I'm going to take it personal when California Love Love... loses. Yeah, I hear you, but... Well, I don't know. Again, it's not what the best song is. No, you got to think of the context. And, like, there's no way California love got people hyper than get low. I'm sorry.

No, I agree. Where to party at? We're that a party app. Page suggested whistle while you twerk. The triple six got to be on there. Yeah, but it was slob on your knob, though. Wait, or was that ying and twins? That was yin-grain.

Which is also, get low as little John and yin-yang twins, right? I'm just going to count that as a little John. Okay. Not as a yin-yang twin. Which kind of both? I'm just saying this way we could get the Y-Gyang twins. Yeah, but this makes it easier on us. We could, quote-unquote, get them on there.

This is the way we could keep them off and not have to stress over that. I'm with you on that. Hey, hey, we're not doing it, but where would the whisper song go? Y'all remember you, hey, you see my dick. Ow! Hey. And motherfuckers was wild. So wild.

What? Y'all know what song came out in 1997? What? hypnotized by Biggie. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Now I think Tupac died in 98. He did.

That's the problem. He did die 98. I was in eighth grade. This whole thing is going to end up getting fucked over because Tupac's still alive. I really think it was 96 or 97. I thought they both died in that, whatever. Well, this was on his album. No, he died 97 because he put out the album Life After Death.

And then the last song, this is the last song ever released in his lifetime. He was killed in a drive-by shooting a week later. Just because I know Paige is going to listen to this, Paige. two you didn't know about the era requirement. She sent a separate text after the fact said, I can't believe I forgot, baby got back and whooped, there it is, which is a fair observation,

but those are both too old. So that's why, so I've went through pages list. What are there, what do you got Corey that ain't up there already from Slaberhose or whoever? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, 11, 12, 13, 14. We need two more to even fill this up. I'll have to go back for Slaverhose,

but I'll be honest with you, the rest of the ones he had on there, I ain't going to compete with these because it was like, and he Somebody got to be the 16th. Well, no, he's right to put this on here, but, like, what about? It was boobylishous by, uh, by Destiny's Child or whatever. Destiny's Child and Beyonce can be separate in my mind. I agree.

And say my name is probably the one because that, say, say my name for sure, put it up there. It deserves to be a, because like, dog, I mean, honestly, we ain't, what about, this is going to sound how it's going to sound, but we ain't got none up there by women. You know what I'm saying? Missy. Missy. Missy Elliott, dude. Um, worth it.

Is that the one, is that the, is that the, is your friend? It's your flimbing up. Come on. Yeah. They went on Ellen doing that. I know. Is that, is it work it or worth it? It's work it.

Yeah, I think it's work it too, but I thought you said worth it just. What about that, uh, that fucking, it's work it. What about that stupid R&B line dance song that everybody would dance? The electric slide? There was another one after that. Yeah. Take it back now, y'all. That's the electric slide, man.

I thought that was something. We did do that. The dance might be the electric slide, but I thought the song was called something else. I feel like that song. the electric side was a separate thing. That was boogie, wooge, you can. That's true.

Yeah, but the Cupid Shuffle, while it was one, I feel like that's almost just become so ubiquitous with weddings and that. Fuck that. Leave that bullshit out.

Right. Don't hit. Well, then another one in that same vein, slober hose had on here was fucking, and it's true. Cotton I Joe.

Bring it back now, y'all. That's the cha-cha slide. I knew it was something slide. But we're keeping that off. Yes. What about Cottonide Joe? It's in that same vein,

ain't it? yeah i say fuck it i also say fuck don't hit it wasn't you know what else was in my stey the fucking macarena that's true yeah fuck it fuck all that yeah fuck all that because that's they're gonna lose and it's just gonna ruin the whole thing okay they're in it right where do you put where does ignition go they're in the n hit bracket the not hit bracket where does ignition remix go bangers or smash i think it's a it's both it's both it's both i know it's both also it's got to be a one seed like no matter You know what? Put it in smash

Because here's why this is... But if we ain't got to smash... Smash is also going to hit. This list is also going to be stopped. I just think that... I just think Ignition has a better shot over there and I want to see it possibly go up against... Fucking...

Dog, Ignition is Mike Tyson in this shit. I know. You're talking about having a shot. I hear what you're saying too, but I think it's kind of fast. This is the remake... I know, but it's still like smooth. Also, oh my God. Oh my God.

Please tell me bump and grind. came out before 96. Oh, it had to. Because you can't. No, you can't. You cannot. Well, he can have one in each side. Is that a rule?

No, it could be on his... It's a rule. It's a motherfucker fucking. We're making this shit up. So ignition goes over here. Bump and dry goes over there. It might be pre-96, though. Buddy, if it's not,

it's been to be Robert versus Robert. Yeah, without a doubt. I don't think people... I don't think people will vote for him because of all the bullshit. You're probably right. Especially our fans, which is fair, y'all. Okay. All right.

Okay, okay. It was 94. Ninety-three. Yeah, dude, I know, but that's where Electoral College is going to come in. I'm going to say, fuck y'all. It's the ignition remix. Well, now that Bump and Grines excluded,

where does ignition go? I still think it goes over here in the bangers. I think it's a banger. I've always felt like it was a banger. It's without a doubt a banger. It's just a banger that's also, you know, smashy. They can't be hearing this.

Okay. I'm just, I need to hear it from my own. The ignition remix. I got to hear it to remember what. That is not. What was that? That was a fucking ad. That's how we were both.

I'm like, what? I'm not trying to be cool. Hey, pretty girl, I'm feeling you. Do the things you do. My Alex is cool. One of my favorite things on Chappelle's show of all time. And that's saying something, considering how great that show was,

was when he came back the next season after doing the pissing song. And he goes, I mean, I ran R. Kelly at a war show. He was like, how are you going to make a video about pissing on somebody? I was like, man, how are you going to do? make a video

I'm about some... Hey, what about the next episode? I'm sorry. We turn... Yeah. The next episode

of Chronic 2001. Man, Chronic wasn't a dance thing. It wasn't a dance thing where I mean, like I was into it, my friends was into it,

but like, not everybody was doing. Paige put it on her list. I agree with you. It wasn't really a dance. It was... Lord, it hit like a motherfucker. It hit so hard.

Okay. Time to move to Smash. Yeah, it is time to move. We can for now. We're going to end up coming back to this. There's no doubt in my mind. Okay, hang on. I'm going to start with Paige for Smash, which is weird, but she is, again, an exhaustive list.

She obviously said, Paige can sit down and focus on something. When did Pony come out? 94? Hold on. Oh, no. Is it not on here? I think it's pre-96. Buddy, nothing was beating Pony.

so I'm kind of relieved. Oh, me too. That's how I feel about it. When? Boy, 96 was the year. It came out of 90s. What? What?

What? What? Six was the mother fuck. Dude, the Olympics were in Atlanta. Do you imagine Atlanta in 96 with the Olympics and all this? You know what? I don't even know why I'm just going to go ahead and put that right there.

I've heard Outcast talk about that. Is that when fucking... What year? Spodi-Di-O-E was great, but it wasn't, they wasn't pumping it at dances. Oh, my God, Miss Jackson. Rose of Parks. Miss Jackson is on page's list.

It's also on sloberhoses and I don't know why I forgot to mention it. I think Rosa Parks is better for the dance. We would go crazy when Rosa Parks came on to dance. Honestly, dude, for the dance, it was probably so fresh and so clean. This is definitely the years we were in high school is what we're arguing right now. It was all of them. I just. No, I know.

Miss Jackson was hands down their biggest thing when I was in high school. But also, hey y'all would be the one. What year was Hay Yaw? Wait a minute, what year was Hey Y'all? I mean, hey y'all's in this. It was like 2001. That's probably, in terms of people running to the dance floor. Definitely, I agree with you.

I don't even think it's a question, actually. It's not a question. It sucks because it ain't near. Also, big boy. You don't even have a big boy on that. But it's the one. Yeah, it is the one. Well, I, that's not Outcast then.

Yeah, it is. No, no, no, no, no, no. I hear you. But it was a double album. That was on Outcast. Last album. Speakerbox slash the Love Below. It was a double album, double solo album.

Double album. Yeah. solo albums, but it was listed as OutKK. And they did feature on each other's work on each other's albums, just not on that song. No, you're right. God damn. I was just, you know what I was trying to do. I thought that, I would have put Ms. Jackson.

Miss Jackson ain't a smash or, but like, anyway, it's more slow than. Well, that's how Outkast is. They don't, they ain't in that group. Right. Anyway, Peaches and Cream, I think is definitely up here. Who was that? 112. 112.

That was that group Puff Daddy put together, right? Yeah. But not the show, though, if you're thinking of the show. No, I wouldn't. Yeah. They had some hit-in-ass songs. They did. 2001, yeah.

Y'all remember love in your mouth? No. Yes. Yes. By A. A. Oly. It ain't A-Connelly.

It's A-Kan-Ele. Kaye. A-Kin-Yle or something like that. K-Hol-L-E. No, I'm thinking of a song called Put-It in Your Mouth. No, yeah. Put-E-N-E-E-M-A. I remember that.

This is Kilo Ali. Let me smell your dick. So, right. The Lord. That song was fucking, shoo, Lord,

you're talking about it. Oh, we already brought it up, but amazed. I was just about to write it, and I was going to say, this is going to seem so out of place, but like,

I can't not put it up there. No, it's on there. Amaze by Longstoy. Casey and Jojo all my life. All my life. Ooh.

Man, that's one. Too close. I think it's going to be a 14C, but I think it's making the cut. close. I love that motherfucking song. It's a song about boners.

Buddy, it's literally about boners. I know. Hey, when did you make me want to come out? It was 95, I almost think. No, 96, I was in, hold on. Look it up. Usher, you make me want to. I was in high school because we were playing at football camp.

You was not in high school when you make you want to come out. Because I know, because I listened to it on the way to Gattenberg when I was in third grade. I'm not saying they still didn't play that. Right. But that's how old songs be working. 97. You make me want to? Yeah.

Well, that's Usher's representation, right? We agree on that. Without a doubt. First of all, he got to be on the slow jam side. He was on some bangers, but like... Because, yeah, yeah, I know. Yeah, it's huge. I know.

That's the one, though. But ain't that, like, ain't that... Didn't we say you could have one on both? We did, because we was going to put Arkellie on both. Yeah, is definitely Usher's on the bangers, and you make me want to is his on the jams. Or on the smash. Bangers and smash. Uh, what?

you might have it was no it was definitely football camp and the song was new do you have another hit that I'm forgetting he had usher yeah around that time but like in that vein yeah he had uh nice and slow nice and slow yeah that was it uh I pull love anticipating good love don't keep me waiting no I got plans to put my hands in places I never sing girl you know what I mean I want to take you to her husband dude hit so hard back in the day. Okay. Here's a man's, oh shit, never mind. You know who's suffering the most from the only one song? Lone Star? Genuine. Yeah.

Because I was like, ponies on. I'm not suggested. We keep the rule, but I'm just saying I was about to bring up Genuine before I remember Genuine already. That's the only song I've written on. Because it's on an eye. I mean, you should go ahead and put ignition at the top of the other bracket. I don't know if it's number one over here, though, man.

Ignition? What's your fantasy? And back that ass up. Those three. Well, we can have two number ones, though. We go one through eight, one through eight. Law, return it a Mac. Trey, we should do that.

We should go one through eight. It's almost like... Put number eight instead of 16. It's almost like bangers hit real hard and the 90s ruled. I don't know if anyone's ever touched on these two facts, but it's kind of like this is overwhelming. Okay. When you're like, what was the Usher song?

There was a rap verse by somebody who don't hit now. No, it was the feature. You're talking about my way? Bad. My way. That's the one. That's the one. But it was a little cites, two seats,

but that was all in the mix. That's all in the mix. That's all right. They came out at the same time. Maybe, but it wasn't the first single. I hear you, but that wasn't the first single. And the next summer, I was in football camp. Okay.

My first football camp. That song hits so hard. That is him rapping and not really hitting way, though, on that song. Bad ass He did that on several He did that on Nice and slow I don't turn these tricks

Go you holding me Go you loving me Like Jodacy So forget Little Midget My mind on seven digit Before I pay heaven Skies to visit

Now I don't remember You because it didn't help I thought a dude Was shitting on him Called him a midget Who's he talking to Hold on A dude

He's talking to a dude Who's girl he's stealing I thought the dude Was talking to him Like he's gonna I don't know No because he says So forget

it little midget. Her mind on seven digits. Your girl about to get my number. Okay. I believe you. When I said let it be me, I should have said, say my name, say my name. That's true. Way better.

No one is around you. I'm over here tagging jokes. I said on the podcast 30 seconds ago. You're heading. Let's get married. Who was that? I thought that was Casey and Jones. Jagged Edge.

Which is also where to party at, but that's okay. Shit. Because we got to get into the whole in sync Backstreet Boys. We do. Damn it. Because what is bye, bye, bye, that's a bang. anger. Put it up. Put it up. Mark it, dude. It's 100%. I mean, that's undeniably true, but this don't hit. It don't hit and was undeniable. It absolutely hit for what it was.

What's the up? Okay, they have way more slow jams, though. Get into their slow jams. What about Brittany and them? I know, Burton. I hear she come. Mariah Carey. Oh, God. Yeah. Always be my baby? I don't know. Wouldn't that come out? That might be pre-96. I think it pre-day's 96.

All right, hold up. It's 96 or it's like 94. It's 94 to 96. That's what I'll say about that. Hell, it might be 92. I don't know. But I don't know. Well, I'm just looking at the thumb-bell.

Yeah, that's 95. Yeah, that's 95. Hey, what's that song, Nick Cannon's? What's that Shinais-Twayne's song? Shut up. It's a, uh, it's a, uh, You're still a one. You're still a one.

I got to look that up. That might be 95. Okay, go ahead and look it up. Put any man of mine on bangers over here. I wouldn't tell you not to. I don't remember dancing to that one, but I'm with you. Still better love me. I can be late for a day.

Mine would have been whose boots have your boots been under? Look up. Nobody by Key Sweat. Nobody. Was that Key Sweat or was that L-SG? which was Key Sweat, George Miller. No, that's Key Sweat. Do you remember L.SG?

Of course. Lerburtianne. Yeah. What was their hit? I don't know. 96. I'm telling you that was the year. Ninety-six was the year.

Oh, that's literally, that's also winning. Last time you said that, I brought up Outcast and we started talking about Outcast. Outcast has a lot of references in their music to how much 96 hits. You know, that's why. I really do feel like the people in charge of the Olympics were just sitting around. All these songs came out. They're like, we got to do the Olympics in Atlanta this year. You know what I said?

You know who was In the fucking series? It shit was hot. Will Smith was popping off. Yeah. Wait a minute. Yeah, I know. Getting jigger with it.

We'd done it. When did, uh... 99, dog. Getting jigger with it? No. Will Lennium. Willem was his album. It came out in 99.

That was on Big Willie style, which was before that. So maybe 96. God. Maybe before. Let's just make it 96. That's just, that's the whole year? 97 was like to get to get to get to get it. I thought I was about to get so hype that it was

Well, that side bets for everybody. I'd just say there's, you know, the odds are in favor. It'll be somebody from 96 that wins this motherfucking thing. How do you get this on Vegas's board? Call them, I think. Yeah, right. Place bets on this. That would hit so hard.

Yes, it would. We thought of somebody earlier, and then I didn't get it up here and we moved down on. We're talking about Brittany. Oh, yeah. It's Britney, bitch. Flow jams still, if possible. But if a banger comes up, obviously. You need some more C-O-Jams?

Do y'all know? Do you all remember? Genie in a bottle? Hit me, baby, one more time, and Jeannie in a bottle. Probably both bangers. We can put them on Smash as a hybrid. Yeah. Yes? Fuck.

I remember that song, but we didn't allow to play it at the dance. Oh, fucking... Cut my life in two pieces. Yeah, I said that the other day. Papa Roach. God damn it. Oh, Brian McKnight. Yeah.

One. For back at one. Back at one. Back at one. Just want to be on you Yeah That song was the jam It was a jam

Okay We didn't even put boys to men in there Are they having music in 96? Look up Aaliyah Just like Yeah When her Look up when boys to men

Stop making music Because we always danced to him But I can't remember There was all for one two No digity Oh God Holy shit How we

What wrong with us We'd be Oh, that's my personal favorite. I think it's the other one seed. Because we had the version that we played, had the rap on there, and I knew all the lyrics. Man. This is so hard, because, like, for me personally.

You ever grind and then rap, Corey? Me personally, the other one seat over here is definitely no diggity. But, like, when I think about my school, it's one of these two for sure. All my life. No diggity is a siletus. It's Michigan State. wouldn't you say that for Aaliyah is try again dust yourself off the try again

What about ageing? My far and away, my favorite song of hers was if your girl only knew But that wasn't like a... I think this is an age thing I don't remember her. I remember her, but I don't remember dancing to her. Try again, I definitely remember.

Was that the one with Timbalin? Yeah. That's the 2001 right where she died. Oh my God, Bubba Sparks. Y'all, Bubba Sparks. We didn't fuck with him. We fucked with him. I believe you.

I won't discount it for sure. I don't think Try Again is going to beat out any of the other. them. It won't. Even to make the list, I mean, I don't think it's going to do. It wouldn't have made the tournament. So, uh. Boys to men.

Yeah. Yeah. Boys to men, look them up. See when it was that they stopped hitting. Y'all M&M started in 2002, didn't he? No, he started in 98. But I don't, Eminem was the shit. But he didn't have to.

Not in dances. Like, they play out to real sleep shady. Two straight about girls go around the outside, roundy outside. Raw. Raw. That's real slim, shady, right? I mean, that's the one we jammed with. I'll make love to you like you want me to.

What year was that? I'm looking. I think that one's sixth grade for me. Oh, that would have been nice. Yeah, that's middle school. What about I swear about all for one? Ooh, yeah. Yeah, that's potentially.

John Michael Montgomery made both, though, so. He did. Anyway, find out when those two songs came out. They make the list for sure if they're in the... I'll make love to you as 94, so it can't be that. Okay. See if Boystam Inn had any hits in 96, because if there's anything in 96 from Boys to Men that we recognize, it's going to end up on this list. Okay.

It's not all their shit with before. It was before. I swear, by all for one. Yeah. That's probably going to end up on there. I think it is. I know it will, dude. There's got to be another country song or two, and we got to get...

We got Shinaa and Amaze. God must have spent a little more time on you. I mean, that's interesting. sink. Yeah, it was a big one. Alabama did it first, though, didn't I? No, no. Or did Insync do it in Alabama cover it?

Dude, every one of those country songs that was also as a pop song, it was the pop song first. Yeah, you're right. Every single time. Yeah. What was the Backstreet Boys hit? Everybody. That one?

Yeah. Rock your body right. I swear. By all for one. I'm here I am. Oh, you want to know the year. 2005? I didn't know why you kept bringing it up. That's not right.

2005? All for one. That's not right. No, that's not right at all. That's not even remotely right. Yeah, because, dude, John Michael Montgomery's was 94. Then it was before that. Right.

So it's out. Okay. Anyway, God must have spent a little more time when you was huge in Salina. The Insync, the Insync version, though, not the country version. No, ours was in sync too. Because it was on that same album. But what other end-bye-bye-bye-bye. But they're different.

I think it should be up there for sure. Is that their biggest, like, slow jam insane? That I can think of that we dance. too for sure. Okay. Let me go on. I'll go on here. I'll say somebody's definitely going to be like,

you forgot 19 songs. No, I hear you. Yeah, that's bent. Backstreet boys. Yeah, the both. We need a bang around a slow jam for backstries. This I promise you,

do for in sync. This I promise you. Remember that one? I don't remember. I mean, I kind of. Okay. Then this definitely,

God must have spent a long more time on you. I mean, based on spot. if I plays this I promise you was a bigger song and I mean I do remember it I don't know I ain't an insane guy I didn't you know what it is God must have spent a little more time on you as popular word from because it's Jesus because of God right it's probably this I promise you like on a global level yet I'm sure I'm saying why I why the other one sticks out to me is because it was talking about God I don't really I didn't really I didn't either I think you

Page did though I think it's up to you page very did but yes I will defer to you you on this i was gonna test page you because god don't hit heard that okay that would be a good song we could do in our boy band this i promise you because god don't hit right what's our boy band called we had a bunch of names void 98 disease uh in the sink oh no town pissing in sinks uh yeah chow town back street corey okay uh what's that one their banger is i want it that way or um I want it that way. The backstreet dads. But tell me why.

Ain't nothing but a hard day. Okay. So anyway. Is that? It's that. That could be either. I'll put it on smash. I want it that way.

It's smash, I think. But that's the biggest one. Like four smash for them. I mean, that was their comeback. Like, that was their... Well, what was their first big smash? I'm coming. I'm coming.

And we're 98 degrees at. None of these motherfuckers hit for me. I'm just being fair. Yeah, but it's, dude, you have to, though. Yeah, but I don't feel like, I don't even remember a 98-degree song. O-Town had a better dance boner jam than them. Theirs was my liquid dream. No, I always thought that the slow jam was bigger.

Didn't twist a half. Okay. Overnight celebrity or, overnight celebrity with Kanye. Yeah. When that was. Oh, my God. That's a smash. That's both.

God. that's a bangers in smash y'all conier started in like oh four and he did was it oh four oh five it was something like that when uh when college dropout came out in o foe and dude that you just that whole album well and it all falls there quit no no no this is by far backstreet boys smash in my opinion quit playing games on that's it that's it yeah i remember one time one of my first jokes i ever in school was we had show and tell. Well, one of the first ones, but like a physical joke.

We had a show and tell, and I didn't have, I didn't think of nothing to bring. And I was leaving school and I was like, oh, God, I ain't got nothing for show and tell. And my mom was like, oh shit, we're like walking out the door. And she had this little paperweight

that was just this heart. Like, it was literally just a stone heart. She's like, just take this and tell me it your mom's. It'll be whatever. What? Nothing. Keep going. And I brought it to school and the teacher passed it around.

And one of my buddies threw it to the other one. go, hey, quit playing games with my heart, and it smashed really hard. So, I mean, yeah, stupid now. Thanks, Drew. Anyways, what? I'm sorry, Corey. I didn't know. I'm so sorry.

I enjoyed that. I don't know what it was supposed to do. I felt bad for myself. What, Tray, you got something on your mind? Well, we don't have as much female representation, right? Yeah, no, it's a metaphor. I'm so hungry. Let's go eat.

Let's pause and go in. No, no, we got to finish this. O-Town had all or nothing. That was the one that I think O-Town. because I want it up Or nothing When did Fucking Lady Marmalade come out

It's that It's definitely That's on Sobberhose's list Well you didn't say it I thought I did say it Or if you did I didn't hate it Well I mean In fairness it just

It don't have for man So my brain It kind of hits I like that phone Gitchie I got I got But I'm not saying it

It's got It's got Chris On here And imagine it in a mix of that My brain was different Raise up It's Lady Marmalade. I don't even have to look it up.

I know it was in that timeline because Brittany Spears and Christine Aguilera were on it. It had to be. Okay. We got any, like, you know, standout omissions. We got to be more of a smash, I feel. Brittany ain't up here at all yet. When I said, Baby one more time is a banger. We got to do Jeannie in a bottle.

Put that on Smash. Both of them. Baby one more time is definitely a banger. It can be Smash. Hit me, baby. Also, did she have a slow jam? Yes, yeah. That might be not bigger, but bigger at dances.

Hold on. Yeah, she did. I'm looking at it. You know what I mean? Yeah, no, I hear you. But I feel like it was pretty much just all. Her one slow jam that I can think of is the God, one of the dumbest fucking song. No, lucky.

You remember that? She's so lucky. Literally, all I remember is the first video and the video of toxic. This is all mostly just because Brittany stayed banging. She did say that. By the way, she's, like, don't you? This is okay. They're shitting on Britain.

Like, dude, now I hadn't heard any of any of any new shit, but like, in terms of just like how she be, she's banging at a level she ain't never banged that right now. We have in sync up there, but we ain't even talked about Timberlake. He brought sexy back. He did bring sexy back. Yeah. Okay. Then motherfuckers didn't know how to act either.

Hang on. Okay. Yeah. I'm still on Brittany. Going by Spotify plays. Toxic is by far the biggest one. Oops, I did it again. That was her first one.

Or no. No. Maybe one more time. I know. Each of those has 170-ish million plays. Toxic has 250 million. And it's definitely a ban. I'll have to defer to y'all because Toxas was when I was in college.

And I know that because the video, I'd watch it every morning on Tuesdays. I know why that has... It came on the same time. And Lord, it was mesmerizing. I know, but maybe one more time. You're right. But it seems like we listen to that more. Yeah, we don't have to go by Spotify.

And I always said that just because it was her first. And that was when I was in middle school. so that's what I relate to. Because, like, in high school, I didn't go to dances literally except prom, and I only did that twice. Toxic came out in 2003. Oh, I knew it's in the window. I know, but I'm saying, like, I don't know, like, I just feel,

I feel like y'all kind of sleeping on toxic a little bit. No, no, no. Of course it was. I'm being personal here. We're talking about middle school and high school dances. I was in college and I'm out, son. I'm just, I'm literally just being like, that hit me baby one more time reminds me. me more of my middle school.

Yeah. Strictly because toxic, I wasn't in middle school no more. But so, but you're right. It's obviously more popular. All right. Mainly because,

dude, streaming and shit was more popular when that song was a thing. Like if baby one more time, if it'd been this before. Okay. Fuck it. I say we do Timberlake.

For the record, we could put that on Smash if we needed to as a hybrid. I agree. Maybe one more time. Because you've got like 30 bangers. Oh, oh, dog, dog, dog.

When Crimea River coming? out. It's definitely in the window. The question is what song by Timberlake? It's Crying a River or is it bringing Sexy Back? Sexy Back's a banger

Crying a River. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. I don't remember dancing to Crimee River because it's so sad. It's those too, right? Like, it's definitely those two for Timberlake within this window. But Cry Me a River

isn't, it was sad. People didn't dance to that that much. Okay. Also, we're leaving out maybe the biggest smash that I know. Well, go.

I don't want to miss a thing by Arrow Smith. Yeah. Like a first ballot hall of fame. I'm so glad you came up with that. Here's how I know. That would be an egregious oversight. A truly egregious oversight. Brittany got me back in my middle school fields,

and I was just sitting here and in my mind, I was dancing with Morgan Anderson. Shout out to her now, Morgan Hyte. Love you girl, old middle school girlfriend. And I was just sitting there dancing with her in my mind. like, oh, I know what song's on. This don't want to miss the thing. We got the hands in our pockets.

It's the principal looking at us wrong. You know how to deal. There's the Timberlake song that had like references to dancing in it. God, he had so many hits. Yeah, he's insanely awesome and hits. I'm going to pee. Well, we're about to finish this up. We probably just finish it up while you pin.

Because I do, I'll be honest with you. This is going to end up having to be a two-parter. Like, without a doubt, don't you think? Because this is just going to get, we're going to get, all right, Twitter. Dude, I thought this might be the case. The album that Sexy Back was on, I mean, it came out in 2006, but like, I'm kind of with Drew on that as far as, like, I was in college. I was long gone from the middle school dances by the time Timberlake brought Sexy Back. No, I hear you.

I'm with you on that, too. That's literally was my argument about toxic. Like, why I agree, it's obviously more popular, but baby one more time just to ask my shit. But you want to pause and think about this over lunch? Take a fucking picture of this. Because we got a lot of stuff up here. You want to do that? Yeah, we'll come back with the actual seating of the bracket.

Yeah, that's what we'll lay it out for you. Let's do a little pause action. Wellredcom. W-E-L-L-R-E-D-Comedy.com. Go grab tickets. We're going to fix this shit and come back. We love you. Ladies and gentlemen.

All right, well-red nation. Are you ready for this? Woo, I am, son. I'm about to drop 15. and 10 on somebody. Dude, I'm not kidding. I mean, now, this may not be the most popular podcast we put out. It won't be.

But this is the most goddamn fun I've had doing one. It's also maybe the hardest we've worked on anything as a group in a while, and we're doing a pilot right now. We're literally doing it in the writer's room that we're supposed to be doing our pilot on, and I've never worked this hard in this room. Not even close. Fast forward to if the show don't get picked up, one of our fans reminding us. Well, now that is.

Now I feel obligated to say we are in the middle of a period of time which we can't be working on the pilot. And we are filling that time with this for you all. We are waiting to hear back from some. The well-read podcast is also very important. Also, I think, and I'm being sincere here, and I think, what's that? Yeah. Right. And I think you'll agree with me.

This is coming from the people who are self-identified liberal rednecks. I think this is going to be the most controversial shit that we've ever put now. Oh, by far. This is by far going to get more tweets, more you're a fucking idiot, more you're wrong, more you fucking young, dumb pieces of shit. Don't know a goddamn thing about that. That, the young, dumb piece of shit thing, they can miss me with that because we have identified a decade, not as in the 90s, a decade, a 10-year period from 1996 to 2006.

Let's review all the rules, then go through sort of the honorable mention and explain how some things that we talked about didn't make the cut and why, which I think will help give people the context. So the first rule is the years. We actually, I mean, we talked about this earlier already on this same episode. I just realized that's 11 years. Well, whatever. Yeah, man, that's crazy. But I mean, we went from the year, we went from the year that Drew started middle school

to the year that Corey graduated high school. Because that seemed like, and that ended up being roughly a 10-year period. And that's 1996 to 2006, which I think makes sense. I don't think we got any 2006 some. school. We could say it was 05. But anyway, I digress. Disclamer. Disclamer. Like, I fucking, and we all know that, like, yeah,

none of this shit probably beats Thriller. Like, you know what I'm saying? But that ain't what this is. That ain't what this is. Yeah, and like Purple Rain. None of it. Like, but this ain't what it is. That's what it was. That's what it was. That's what it was. This also what it was, actually. This is what it was.

In the context of we're doing it right now, this is what it is. No. This what it was. After that's what it was. and now this what it is. Okay. Okay, that's true. On the note of that ain't what this is. This is not the best song.

We, right, A, that, but also, yeah, and this is specifically the context of school dances during this period. What was the jam? Some songs like Crossroads by Bonthuzz got brought up. All-timer hit an ass song. And they played it at the middle school dance. But it ain't a, it ain't a dance song. It's not a slow jam dance song or a banger dance song. It's a song about your dad, homies.

People left... People left the dance floor. I did not do that. What? It's the kind of porn he's into. Our fucking little cart smirth porn. It's called Lil Gleemers, and it's like these little fucking, they look like little fucking troll mirror cats.

They don't hit for me. All right, well, let's not get derailed, but I do want to know what the fuck that was in a minute. But, so yeah, Bone Thugs is a good example. Crossroads. That would get played at middle school dances all the time. But people would leave the floor and go, like, rapid. in a corner and think about their dead homies or whatever.

Another example of that is just most of M&M songs. Almost all of M&M's entire Uvois. He's one of the greatest of all time, but he ain't this. Biggie and Puck, same thing. Hypotize, we talked a lot about it because it did make people dance. You talked about that, Trey. Yeah, I advocated for hypnotized, but I ultimately lost that battle, which is, that's okay. Ultimately, it fell into the Tupac and M&M thing.

It was like, yeah, the song was great. But when I was 12 and we were playing it at the dance, it's not like everybody necessarily was running the floor. So other bands, no doubt's not on here because they weren't, you know, I remember my cousin Tasha making them play it at the dance. We left rock. I also remember no one given a shit. We left Rock off entirely with one very notable exception.

And the reason we did that. So I think the best example of that for me. Yeah. And Corey, you said this was yours too. Papa Roach. Oh, my God. My last resort. Everybody would run to the dance.

But it was a very different feeling, and also by everybody, I think I mean just the dudes. The angsty dudes, without a doubt. See, I don't, I remember that song being hugely popular. I don't remember everybody run to the dance for when Popper Rocks came home. He said, she said bullshit, it was that for sure. Nookie, it was that for sure. But anyway, we cut Moose Rock out with one very notable exception. Another rule is that you can't have duplicate artists.

One song per artist per bracket, but actually the per bracket thing didn't even end up. matter and did it? Do we end up with anybody that's on both sides? Yes, we have Destiny's Child on both sides. Well, we got Beyonce on one side. And we've got in sync on both sides, don't we? No? Maybe not. Not anymore. Well, we'll get into it in a minute. But that was only per side of the bracket. In other words, an artist

could have one banger and one smash. Genuine has at least three, probably more, songs that could easily make the smash side of the bracket, but we restrict it to only one, and of course that one goes without question. And Lil John, especially if you count all the things

he featured heavily on. It could just be him. So the perfect example of this is that, yeah, which is an Usher song, but it's really a little John song the way we count it, is not on here because... Get low. It is on. And if that had have happened, Usher would have had one into bangers,

one at a smash. So I think that's all the rules, right? Oh, Jock Jams, Space Jam, Soundtrack, Jock Jams 2 through 5, and Jock Jam All Stars. We couldn't do that. Honorable mention those entire compilations. Compilations. Oh, we wanted to give TLC a shout out of honorable mention.

Oh, no. They're on there. TLC's on, yeah, no scrubs. No scrubs. Oh, my bet. Let me erase that. Okay. I'm happy with it.

Again, as we tweet this out, I'm going to be like, oh, fuck. Like, I know some people are going to say something. I'm like, oh, God damn it. Right. But this is, just it would do. So. In the banger's side, drum roll. We're doing this by matchup.

Okay, yeah, we'll do it by matchup. Okay, yeah, here we go. We got the first game. Number one overall. seed in the bangers bracket is, of course, the ignition remix. How could you do without it? By R. Kelly. Going up against the eight seed, taunt, taunt, taunt, taun song.

The thong song. The thong song. That's this cut. Then we've got... Hold on. We're going to do a little bit of analysis here. I mean, here's the one of this is like, we should, but like, I'm just sitting here, like, I mean, I don't want to get all Stephen A. Smith, but like, there's no fucking what.

Like, it's just, dude, let me tell you this right now. if our fans vote thong song song through because R. Kelly don't hit. Well, I'm quitting the fucking tour and I'm quitting the podcast. It's like that's just... Could be protest votes because... Yeah, because R. Kelly don't hit.

Our Kelly don't hit. But dude, first off... That song is... I'm saying, and dude, like, you want to do this? You want to do this? We're going to just research all these motherfuckers. You know what I'm saying?

Like, I know he did pee on somebody. We're not arguing that that would be a reason. We're just saying that might be happening. That might happen. Well, let's just move on to the 2-7 because we've already got controversy right out of the gate, and we didn't even heard from the fans. On that part of the bracket, the number two overall, no, it's not the number two overall, is it? But the number two on that side of the bracket ranking is, What's Your Fantasy by Ludacris?

Yeah, against my all-time favorite artist across any medium, DMX. DUDDog, Party Up. Oh, woo! So we got party up. Party up is still deservingly a seven seed. in this, again, in this arena, I think Lodacris is unbeatable in that position. The number three seed goes to, Corey. We up at the top here.

Yeah. Well, yeah, we got no scrubs by TLC. This is going to be a fucking, this is going to be a high-y contest. That's what I said. Yeah, I said this is going to be a good matchup. This is going to be the best three-six matchup in my opinion. Yeah, it definitely is. We got no scrubs by TLC going up against still fly.

by my big timers. By big timers. Gator bits. Gat other bits. Now, big timers had a couple. You had get your roll on. But we ultimately went with Still Fly because, dude, you talk about a fucking

mainstay at the middle school dance party. So, man, you know, I can make an argument for both. Still Fly is more of a banger to me. And like, but no scrubs was like, man, that song was fucking just. It was a phenomenon. It was a phenomenon.

It had its own spin-off rival song. That was also. could have been on this list. Because when no pigeons came out, me and my boys would flock to the dance floor and saying no pigeons. Thank you. Yeah, also, like, it created a, like, scrub became a thing. Yeah.

Like, it made, people was like, oh, shit, I'm a scrub. Yeah, I agree. Like, I found out I was a motherfucking scrub. I completely agree that, in essence, that's a great matchup. I think voting-wise, though, it ain't going to be close. Okay. What do you think? I think no scrub's going to take it in a wash.

Yeah, I do, too. And I don't hit for me, but that's what I think. Four versus five, I really do like this matchup a lot. I do, too. We got Workit coming in at number four C. Missy Elliott, Westaminer. And then we got Hot and Her. Van Nelly.

Take off all your clothes. Man, Nelly just, he was. That, yes. He could have been the whole list. The Nelly Memorial Bracket. Right. Yeah. He ain't dead, but he's a career.

He's dead to us. They should do the six degrees from Kevin Bacon. They should make one of them for Nelly. Yeah. Like the features and all that. Yeah, Nelly was the man. And here's how I feel about this one.

Like, I think Workett's a better song. Uh-huh. Without a doubt. Hot and here was a movement. It felt like some... See, that's exactly how I feel about Scrubs. I agree with you.

And I think you're right. Hot and Here is like, that's... I don't mean, they're both, though. The great thing about both of them is like when written and performed it was like it was meant to be a dance song. I know what I'm saying?

Ellen has recently brought back Work it. Yeah. had that white lady. No, that's why I think work that's going to win. All right, that is Bangers North.

Now we've got to go to Bangers South, and I just said that because I'm looking at a bracket. I know. We didn't actually do that. We probably could have done that, but Lord,

we had enough trouble with this already. Yeah. Making it geographical, I mean. All right. So, Drew, what we got here with the number one. And I don't think anyone can argue with this.

You got, Back that ass up by Juvie White. And also, a noted thing about that song that we didn't talk about. That is the first, that was America's discovery. of Weasie.

True. He was 14 years old. That's a old way. Weasie and. Oh shit. No. All right. Because we did this with Lil John.

That's a fucking What's his face from Big Time? No, no. That's a juvenile song. Okay. That's 100%. I mean, it is. It's a juvenile record.

I know. But yeah, was listed on an Usher song or an usher record. But it ain't the same thing. But we knew who Lil' John was. And we knew that, yeah, was the Lil' John's song. All right. He actually, back that ass up was the first I'd ever heard. The big timers were like in the background to me.

For sure. They were. When that song came out, juvenile was the guy. I know that. I know that. I know all that. I'm just saying I was making sure that we didn't fuck somebody else over because of just well, blah, blah, blah. And then we weren't going to do the same today.

I don't know about y'all, but it's Salina and our dances. Almost every single week, that song was the closing. Dude, do you remember? That was the last song and it was like, it brought the, They played it multiple times throughout the night. Do you remember, bro, do you remember at my motherfucking wedding four months ago? That song came on and my buddy Robbie.

You're working with some as shit. Bad jam, man. I thought Robbie was going to kill himself. He got jumped up on a table and about turn that motherfucker over. Like, it's still de jam. Yeah, it's undeniable. That's why it's the number one seat. And it's coming in as a number eight seed,

and this is probably going to bother some rap purists. Because, again, it's not song versus song. It's a better song. It's, you know, middle school boner jam versus middle school boner. Jam. The 8C that's going up against Back that ass up

is Big Pimpin by none other than Hova. I'm not willing to concede that it's a better song. Jay Z's a better rapper than juvenile. Oh,

okay. Actually, yeah. Fair enough. But also, we picked only 16 songs from a 10 year period. Like, Big Pimping is a hit and that song.

Don't get us wrong. These are all hitting that song. Somebody's got to be the 18th. And we talked about this off mic so I guess we're forgetting about it, but like, what did we learn about the year

1996 today? Oh my God. It's unbelievable. What a year. Like, It's the 1994 for movies. If you were 24 living in Atlanta in 1996, oh, just because of the songs, the culture, the Olympics that year.

Don't you're wrong, it still would have been hard to be black, but it would have been the best time to be it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying? It would have been quite an era as long as you didn't get shot. Right. Well, Atlanta's like, you know, predominantly black city. Compared to other southern cities, is it a little safer?

I'm just assuming that. I have no fucking idea. Listen to... There's no. Listen to some of the movies. Hey, listen. There's that great, that's that great fucking joke by Roy Wood Jr. Where he's talking about how black people don't make any music about how great America is because it ain't great.

They make but cities. And he goes, but they do tell you where you can be safe in. And where the party. Yeah. Country music is like talking about America and blah, blah, blah, and fucking rappers just like, get down to Orlando. And he said the one exception you could make is James Brown living in America. He said, but at the end of that song, he describes to you. He just starts listening to all the cities that he means when he's.

He says America. That's fucking so true. Listen to some of the songs that came out, or sorry, some of the movies that came out in 1996. Independence Day, Fargo, Scream, Sling Blade, Jerry McGuire, the first Mission Impossible, The Rock. God damn. Happy Gilmore, Space Jam, train spotting. Which means Space Jam soundtrack came out in 96. Yeah, it doesn't mean that.

So Tom Cruise did fucking Jerry McGuire. and Mission Impossible, yeah. Damn. Don't be a minute. It's South Central while you're drinking your juice in the hood. Great movie. I'm not doing it.

Absolutely. I loved it. Anyway, yeah, 96 was just hitting. That launched, that's the same people in it, is it not, that did scream, all the screen. What is it? Yeah, the Wands. Huh? Even the writers, though.

Well, I didn't hear what you said. The fake scream, what was it called? Scary movie. Yeah. Well. Didn't they do South Central? Oh, don't be a minute. Yeah.

The Wands Brothers. Yeah. They didn't write it, did they? Yeah. That was a Wans Brothers' joint. They didn't start with scary movies. I got these cheese burgers, man. I don't think they even started with that.

A low down dirty shame was a Keenan Ivory Wayans movie. I think was before that. They'd been around a little bit of that. I heard a rumor that Kenan and I was about to start back into stand-up. You already had it. At the stove, right? Damon Williams started out. Oh, that's what I was thinking of.

All right, we got to move on. That's one and eight. Number two. I'm worried about this. I'm also just upset in general, but it makes sense because here's what it is. I don't say this. This song is so good. I almost feel like if we say the thing that we're about to say, it's going to...

Here's the thing. The song is so good that we're forgetting our own context. Earlier, I was furious that this was a number one C, but the more I think about it... No, it still is. I know what you're about to say. Go ahead and finish what you're about saying. I'm telling you already, it wasn't that way in Salina. Nor Chickama.

But go ahead and say it. Oh, no, all I was going to say is it's not better. at the dance as a boner jam, then back that us up ignition. I mean, I think we all agree on that because it's two seed. It's just, but this is the greatest song of all time across all genres. Yeah, across all time.

Return to the Mac by Mark Morrison. Pissing on somebody. Mark Morrison, returning to Mac, without a doubt. Undeniable. And it's going up against Beyonce. Beyonce's first bangor, Dangerously in Love. I'm nervous.

I'm nervous. I'm very nervous. I'm not going to tell you all what I want to happen. And by the reason that Dangerously and Love is a seven seed is because, I mean, the girls would get it. excited but like the dudes oftentimes wouldn't hang out on the dance floor well and also this still was this was like that transition period the era the end of our shit yes what we're telling you is don't

vote for biance just be honest about yourself but just what songs but just vote for fucking return the mac uh we know what back three and six there three and six uh three is we've mentioned earlier's on here get low by little john and a ying yang twin we played this early dog and we about we about lost our shit he got so hype in this writer's room we both jumped out the window and landed on Mickey Mouse on the ABC Disney Studio Live. You got so hype in this writer's room, we accidentally almost wrote Martin.

Three, six, nine. Damn, Gina. So, now, and it's going up against a great song in some regard. This is my karaoke go-to. Yeah, getting jiggy with it. I'm pretty sure I know how this is going to go, and it should go that way. But they're two very different songs,

but I mean, come on. And then coming in at four and five This is going to be a good matchup too I can't wait That's why it's four and five And I'm fine with this one either way Me too Now again remember that we only had one

Song per side of the bracket Per artist This one was actually a little bit of Point of contention We ended up working it out Because this ain't the best outcast song Not even close Not even by

And then Corey pointed out It's not technically an outcast song But then Trey pointed out It is listed as an outcast song Because it's on an outcast double album Anyway The song is the song hey yaw because in terms of dance you know middle school dance miss jackson was awesome of course

rosa parks got everybody hot fresh and clean everybody love that song but hey yaw buddy i mean i was in college when it came out and people acted like they was in middle school when it came on honey yeah it was an international super mega hit and i was saying all that to say all those other songs we listed by outcast aren't on here because this counts as the outcast entry and it is going up against the five seed all star jam uh last Lady Marmalade. It's a compilation of Pink, Christina Aguilera,

Mary J. Blige. And Missie L. And Miss, was it. Was it Missy Litt? Yeah, I'm pretty sure Missy's on. I think it might even be more than just that.

I wonder how I could figure this out. It is, dude, it's glorious. It's glorious. You all remember Mulan Rouge? Yeah. Us, yeah. I don't know if you mean me or you're talking to the audience listening.

I meant you too specifically. Christina. Oh, dude. Brough. Lil Kim. Lil Kim, Maya, pink, Christina, Aguilera. I was wrong about so many. It's not Mr. Elliott?

No. I thought I remember her from the video. I think. No, I remember. I remember pink from the video. She pulled her tetties almost all the way out. She did. As she was wont to do.

She was. The poet laureate, little Kim. Yeah, boy. Remember that purple dress? Yes. God. Yes, Lord. That one teddy all the way out with a seashell over.

My grander spackers. This bitch got a high biscis on her teddy. What's going on? no missy is in the video okay that's what i remembered was missy being in the video i bet she produced she she brings them all out that's right god little camel's hot that song was huge it was enormous it was rad it's rad it's rad i yaws rader so that's it on that's it on the bangers that's gonna be a showdown there but it's and smash so this that's the bangers now over to the smash to round out the bangers and smash yeah this is the slow jam

Our number one. I think this is number one overall period. This is number of fucker going to the finals. If it don't, if I'm quitting comedy and the podcast. Yeah. So I can't fuck with y'all no more. And if this, dude, I'm saying. If this song don't make it all the way.

Well, number one, we talked about not letting it in the bracket. Yeah, just this, just, or excluding it on the basis of it ain't fair to everybody else. And I'll tell you how much of a banger the song is, the band of my wedding covered it in a very not R&B way. and literally everyone that could get up, which was only half the people because I'm from the South

and everybody got the diabetes, everyone, though. Four-year-olds, 80-year-olds, everyone went and danced to this song. I've got a buddy, an old boy buddy, a redneck buddy named Charles. Charles, Corey's laughing because he knows Charles,

but Charles, literally, literally. And I mean, we're always hanging out and drinking and stuff, but if you, maybe not if there's little children around, but otherwise, if you play this song, he will get naked. He will start stripping. Not just like getting naked, but start doing a script piece for whoever is. It's the sexist.

In front of grandmas and shit, like he can't help it. It's Pony. Pony by Genuine. And I feel like we've done our girl dirty, but I don't know how it had to be. Pony is going up against Still the One by Shania Twain. Okay, this is a good time to talk about that whole deal, I think. We went to high school, we went to school in the, the South.

Right. So when it comes to slow jams, the slow dancing thing, you know, hands on each other's hips in the pockets if you were serious. That included country songs. And Shanae Twain, you're still the one, was one of the bigger ones. Well, and that's something we probably should have said in the beginning anyway. This is definitely based on our experience. Similar but not identical.

Three of us are our experiences. You know, if you are out there listening in fucking Washington State, it was probably different. If it was in California, it's definitely different. If you went to... They're all just out there wearing dirty jeans and listening to... the fucking pearl jam crying at each other. If we cry.

Stanking. Yeah, all that heads. You want to hump my butt and talk about global starvation issues? Hunt my butt. That's how you talk from Seattle. Yeah. In the seventh grade of the 90s. Hey, you guys want to hump butts.

But you know what I'm saying? If you went to, if you went to a mostly black school, all kinds of different things could have been different than what we experienced. This is very much the rural South. So that's what we got. Sonia is still the one. About to get her ass beat her pony. There is. Correct.

Yeah. But I want to say, though, we actively tried to be fair because there's a lot of shit, especially on this side that, like I don't think hits for any of us. We just knew that it should be up here. For sure, man. Like boy band stuff or whatever. We'll get to it in just a minute. So moving on to the two seed in Smash North Bracket. And this one was one that was like, how is this a two seed?

But I really think it is. But it was massive at the school dances all my life by Casey and Jojo. You know what I just realized? It is a number two seed because of what the other number one seed is. But I think we should move it. Because it's definitely the top number two seed. That's true. I mean, okay, we can't in a minute.

I don't think we need to get into all that right now. I mean, I hope and don't think. it's going to matter. It won't, dude, I'm looking at it right now. It won't fucking matter. Well, from the bottom perspective, please. No, I still believe and this is what this is based on, I think it'll beat the other number one. I'm going to change it right now. Hold up. You think

it might. It depends on how people are looking at. I don't know. Even then it might beat the other number one. You're right. I'm telling what the new number two is. I know. New number two in this bracket, since we're making this change is an absolute all-timer for us at least. Oh, yeah. No digotty.

No blackout. Yeah, by Black Street. The version with Dre. Dude, if we have to say this... Yeah, the version of Dre. I didn't even know there was another version. Listen, if you're out there and we had to say the version with Dre for you to get it,

stop listening to this fucking podcast and go listen to that song. Yeah, yeah, I don't mean quick, but... No, because if you're 50, if they were like, wait, do you mean the one with Dre? That's what I mean. It's like, yes, of course it's the one with Dre. Anything that there's a version with Dre,

it's that. Yeah, well, some people forgot about Dre. That's true. Going up against number 7C, bye, bye, by NSYN. We batted a lot of,

this was kind of weird. Because it's like a bangor. It's more of a banger in the in the boy band world. Like as far as boy bands go. Right. It's more of a banger than a smash. Yeah.

But they be harmonizing too much. Right. Yeah. Anyway, I don't know. It's weird. It is what it is. It's weird to put bye,

by, by, in the same category as still the one. For example. But it's just as weird to put bye, in the same category as get low. That's true.

Without a doubt, man. It's just one of the three one. So, anyway, it's bye, bye, in sync versus no diggity Black Street. So the number three seed. Y'all do what you're going to do with that one, but come on. The number three seed, I feel like this one could maybe be good, but I know Drew thinks it's going to be a walk. It probably will be a walk. I may be over, overestimate one of these songs.

It's not even going to be one of the biggest blowouts of this entire thing. Okay. Say my name versus, say my name by Destiny Child versus Peaches and Cream. Yeah, I guess you're right. Dude, by the way, for me, for my money, it's Peaches and Cream. It's still say my name for my money. What'd you do? I hit my knee so hard.

You said. You said, Beyonce punished you. No, say my name does hit, but, but dude, it's going to be, say my name is going to win. Like, it'll be, it'll be seven to three. Yeah. It's just, again, it's just one of those, like, specific experience things because, like, I mean, don't even if you're all say my name was undoubtedly a huge hit, but like, for whatever reason, Peaches and Cream was like.

It's hits. People like, again, I was telling you all right, but people in Salina were like learning the dance moves from the video to Peaches and Cream and stuff. Right. It was like, it was just hugely popular at my school. And they, but like. Say my name was a cultural phenomenon. Yeah, it was Desi's child biggest hit, I think. It was their opener for sure.

It was like their first thing for sure. No one is around you. Say baby, I love. And the girls would do that. If you ain't wrong. Call. Say my name. Say my name.

We got to move on. Actually, yeah, you're right. Dude, it's going to crush it. I'm even going to be fun. In the 4 versus 5 matchup. Quit playing games with my heart. So this is a good example of a matchup. This was us being diplomatic.

I don't know. Maybe not Cho. I think a lot of this shit really does hit for you, right? I just farted on that. I mean, like, it hit for me then, but like, there was some that I wanted instead of this for sure. But, like, we had to be real. Number four is quit playing games with my heart.

I'm sure. Number five, Genie in a bottle. Okay, quit playing games of my heart does hit from a fuck Gene in a bottle. That's just, it has to be on there, though. this might be like you know 12 year old toxic masculinity I didn't fuck with any of the in sync I didn't either

I think for me it was that but I don't know Corey was in the same boat and he he loved them I think for me it was that my little sister loved them so much I was Tasha I was older brother

I was the only band Tasha like God all this shit sucks so but now I can look back on it but I was fine at the time I hated that shit my cousin Tasha was the same way and no doubt was the only band she liked that I'd let my stuff

Very easily explainable. I'm four years younger than y'all. Like, I'm saying, you're 11. You have four years younger than me? Then him. Yeah,

I am. How old you is? I graduated in 04. Oh, right, okay. Well, I still feel like that's enough because Insync was when I was in fifth and sixth grade.

You were about to be in high school. That's true. That right there you grow. Puberty is what made you think you hated them. Right. And I was a kid still. I'm like, if it'd been that,

because like, there's probably stuff that he's right. Two years younger than me, people love. And I'm like, how the fuck? and it's like, oh, you just liked him in that little gap

where you ball hairs hadn't come in. Yeah, he right. So that's all that idea. That's why I was arguing for fucking Britney Spears. It was a good time to bring up another one we left off that I was upset about because it was the only one of those songs I did like was O-Town All or Nothing. I love that song.

Nothing at all. Sop. All right, anyway. Quit playing games of my parts. That was the Doctor Driver. I have no idea what to expect about that because I just don't. I don't either. Again, I don't.

know that. I just ain't my shit. I'll go and break it down to you. Oh, shit, no. I was about to start playing the, like, let's think about who our fans are here. I don't know. We got a lot of women fans.

I feel like Christina probably. That's what I'm saying. Of course, they love Backstreet Boys. Exactly. Yeah. I don't know. It's a good matchup. I mean, that's why it's four and five.

It's going to come down to who hit. Four and five should be close. Andy would know. It's going to come down to who hits harder for gay people. Backstreet boys are Christina Aguilera. Because the women vote will be split. Yeah. I just don't know.

Yeah, this is the Bernie, this is the Bernie Gary Johnson of the bracket for sure. So I don't know how this is going to go. Okay, moving down to Smash South, Slow Jam's Southern Bracket here, the number one seed. This is the one, aforementioned one very notable exception from the genre of rock. Corey brought this up at the 11th hour, but it immediately rocketed to the number one, one of the one seeds for me. And it's a rock man going pop. No, you didn't, I think this kind of didn't hit for you, but as soon as Corey said it, I was like, dude, there ain't even no arguing.

I thought it was, I still think it's a number two. Don't want to miss a thing by Arrow Smith is the song. And when we get to the number two in a minute, I think the number two, if we're still there. Think about these dances and what, and like, think about all my, sorry, I'm about to give it away. Go ahead. Well, we already talked about all my life because we moved it. Oh, all my life is. We moved all my life to this part of the bracket.

I think all my life's going to take it. All my, to me, all my life and don't want to miss the thing is splitting hair. on which one is which, honestly. It's the two new years. I got on my preference. I got on my balls that year. I'm not talking about my preference. And they was both Casey and Jojo.

That's what I named. Corey, chime in on this. This was your thing. I know. Back me up here. I was looking at the original bracket. What are you talking about? No.

Don't want to miss a thing. What Drew say? All my life, I still think it should have been the number one seat over and I know I got outvoted too. No, it's definitely don't want to miss a thing. But talk about it's close. You brought it up at the 11. Because, dude, all I'm saying is, and honestly, I think that all my life,

hits harder for me in terms of, but like, it's just like, I don't know, man, don't want to miss this thing. Like, I still get chills,

even just thinking about it because of how much that was just like, that was the one. It was epic, man. It was like, it was,

number one, it was Arrowsmith. It was in Armageddon. It was just, it just, I don't know, man, like, I've told the,

the Amber story right on the podcast about Armageddon. Bag of shit, Amber? Yeah, all right. As I remember, she asked,

I'll just be very brief version when I was dating her, in high school. She asked me once, just, you know, stupidly like high school couples do, tell me a story, whatever. And I was just like, okay. So, this one time, there was this group of oil drillers, right? And anyway, yeah, 45 minutes later, I have regaled her with the entire plot of the movie

Armageddon, which was already a massive smash hit at that time. And she was just like, at the end of it, she was just like, oh my god she was like that's amazing that should be a movie or something like you should write that i was like yeah yeah it would be a good movie i never did tell her either i never told her like that that's what i had done if only all the people who made movies weren't all dead i guess they could have done that but like

she was the one that thought there was no jews right she thought jews were literally extinct so anyway she was a peach so anyway Don't want to miss the thing. All the girls, though, it's, to me, in particular, it's so funny that she didn't recognize that movie because I remember all the, like, girls I went to school with and stuff.

The scene, the end of Armageddon where Bruce Willis stays behind and sacrifice his life for Ben Affleck who loves Liv Tyler and this fucking song. That scene is in the video for this song. And all, like, it just, they loved it. They ate that shit up.

They loved all my life. I, dude, I know. I told you to me that. If you had told her the plot, To me, that one is... To me, that one is... That's the plot to the Casey and Jojo music video. To me, that one is splitting hairs.

Then you wouldn't have to live with her in college. I could go either way on that in terms of seeding. And I told you, it's splitting two hairs on my nuts named Casey and Jojo. I got him that year. I'm just saying, dude, it's don't want to miss the thing. Again, I hear you, I like the song more, but it's don't want to miss the thing. And then don't want to miss the thing is going up against one of my personal... This is like the opposite for me.

It's one of my personal favorites, but I feel like it just wasn't... It was deserving of an eight-seat, and it's too close by... next, which is a song literally, it's a literal boner jam. It's the only literal boner jam up here. It's where boner jam came from. Yeah, right, because it's a song about boners. It's about stand back, you're dancing kind of close.

It's about dancing. It's about dancers and your boner poking the girl while you're dancing. Spring break. I love that song so much. Summer break or whatever. We went to fucking Myrtle Beach because, of course, we did. Me and my mom, dad didn't want to go, didn't hit for him. I took my friend Brandon.

Myrtle Beach back then had an 18. That bundle of joy. Had a 17 and under club or 18 or whatever it was. They had like a club with no alcohol for kids. And the parents could creepily set up top in like a balcony and watch you or whatever. It was basically like Myrtle Beach is a family place, but the kids want to go meet other kids. I told everybody I was 16. I think I was 14 at the time.

I made out to a 16 year old girl to that song and definitely got a boner to that song. And she thought it was awesome. And then that made me think she was. awesome and then she ran away you god damn right son i also made out with a girl and got a boner listening to peaches by presidents of the united states so like you know like that's daddy a would a deal i know but i'm saying i was living out the song no no no i hear you i was just living out a hit and anyway it's going up against too close which i still think all my life and don't want to miss the thing's too close to call too but too close versus don't want to miss a thing then going down

with the number two seed down here is this is where we moved all my life and i'm life too. This was no digity. We moved all my life down here to go up against, yeah, by Casey and Jojo, to go up against the 7th seed. This was not Amber, but my girlfriend before her, this was our song. I used to love this song, but

deserving of a 7 seed, back at 1 by Brian McKnight. This song is the jam, though. Can I tell you something? You didn't even know this song, right? You didn't recognize this song? No, I did. I didn't know about trial when you first said it. There might be two seven-two upsets. Because look at

him. If you think on my life is not going down to Back at 1. No, that's not what I'm saying, but that got me looking at I said, is Back at 1 the hardest hit in number 7 seed? And I started looking at him. It's like, they're good big. Yeah, you got Beyonce and Insync. Although, although all these twos is so fucking.

Look at the 7 seeds. It's wild. DMX, Beyonce, Insync, and then back in the movie. I know, it's almost like this era fucking hit real hard. God damn it was so good to be a kid before fucking Terrace blew up to him. goddamn towers.

The terrorists did ruin most of this. This just in, by the way, hot take. Terrorists don't hit. No, 9-11. They're like genocide in 9-11. Yeah. What was the most recent? Age.

Age don't hit. No. Anyway. 9-11 don't hit. So, yeah, all my life verses is back at one by Brian McKnight. The number three-seat, this is one that, it's wild to me that this is a three-seat. Because, like, when I think about, this actually, I think I said this. this could have been a higher seed, but we hate it.

This was the song that gave me this whole idea. Last week I was fucking around. Something reminded me of this song and it gave me the idea for this whole bracket because as soon I heard it, I was like, middle school day, it took me back there immediately. Yes, but calling it Boner Jams, I got that from fucking

too close and it's a seven seed. That's a different thing. True. I'm saying, I was reminded of this song. This could be a higher seed. We don't like it. I was reminded of this song and literally, in my mind, I was back at a fucking middle school dance.

That's how it was. I associate this song. That is what that is. Lone star, amazed. Coming in at number three. That was mine and my high school girlfriend's song or whatever. Anyway.

I really hope it gets upset by the way because it's going up as an absolute straight banger. Man Amber's song is my neck, my back by the way. Oh, nobody by Keith Sweat. Nobody. Who can love you like me?

So we got nobody by Keith Sweat going up against Lone Stars. He's amazed. I'm really, really pulling from a man sweat on that one. The smell of your skin. No, it probably ain't going to, no, you're right. But nobody is. Keep Sweat is going up against someone whose line is the smell of your skin. This is the last matchup we have.

It's the 4 and 5 seed in Smash South. Baby one more time by Britney Spears. Their Britney is. She up against another one of my. all-timers personally you make me want to by usher. This is going to be a great match I think it is going to be a great matchup. The four fives are all great. Well see I think

we did a good job with that. Yeah, we do. Because the four fives should be very evenly split. And I feel like they all are pretty. I don't know. They are. I don't know which one to Well, they're definitely the biggest toss-ups in my mind. Of course, we'll be completely wrong. They'll all be like run away. Oh, dude. Yeah. And it'll be not the ones we think. We don't hit.

Well, that's it, guys. That is, that's the bangers and smash. And as we said on the last week's podcast, it's hashtag well-read boner jams. We're going to be tweeting out, I guess. Individual matches. We'll probably start today or tomorrow, Wednesday. After it comes out.

Which I'm about to put it up smooth right now. Or wait maybe until after. Let me do it on Thanksgiving, baby. People be tweeting on Thanksgiving. Yeah, they're at home. They can listen to them with their friends or at Friendsgiving when we're all hanging out. Bring these songs back up with your friends.

Y'all talk about them. Put it to a vote amongst yourselves. And, you know, just because we do live in America and is the thing that everyone who creates any kind of pop content does. The things we're thankful for, here at Well Red, the things we're thankful for is farts, butts, butts, boner jams, fans. This pilot. This pilot, fans.

The pilot's going to take me home from L.A. tonight. Food. Oh, my God. I'm so thankful to that guy. Gravy. Girl, Corey. Yeah. Thankful for gravy, Corey.

Have you seen the fucking... Failed for gravy? Yeah, I'm thankful for gravy. Have you seen any of Always Sunny this year? No. God damn it. There's just one episode where you know fucking

it's Charlie and Max Mom and Max Mom is Napoleon Dynamite's grandma. Yeah. Fucking Charlie and Max Mom get on a plane to go somewhere and fucking Max Mom won't quit smoking cigarettes and Charlie's mom freaks out.

She goes, oh my God, the pilot is a woman. Let's get off of this plane. It fucking killed me. Because she's probably, somebody had a joke about how they want their pilot to be. They're like,

oh, I hope my pilot's a woman because you know she's trying real fucking hard. there. Costagherly used to have a joke about how when he changed. It wasn't him. It was really funny. I know. Then this was just a good idea.

But just like, you know, when you're flying, no, this thing. When you're flying like Southwest, you know they made C and the C's and D's in pilot school. Oh, yeah. Yeah, for sure. Women hit. I'm sorry. I'm thankful for women. I'm thankful for big, and big old fat asses.

Did we say that? Big old tithes. Big old titties and big old fat asses. All right. This has been the progressive hour with. Are you guys good? Yeah. Does everybody know what they're going to do?

We're going to put these on Twitter. We'll see. Individual matchups. And what we're going to do is whenever you're posting about this, here's another thing. When you shit on us, because I know that's going to happen,

you're tweeting at us, tweet it with the hashtag, hashtag well-red boner jams, and also, if you wouldn't mind, you know, tag whoever you're talking about. Tag Nelly, let's see if we can't get him on this. You know what I mean? We might.

Because on it, here's the thing. I will make a trophy and send it to whoever it is that wins this goddamn song. If they'll accept it on Twitter. You're going to send fucking genuine. That's how it's going to happen. That's how it's going to happen. And yeah, he'll send me a note back. What took you so long?

And it hits for him and he posts about it. It will hit for it. It will hit for him. By the way. He might not post about it, but it will hit for him. I mean, it will, but as Trade just alluded to, this happens to him every other day. I know. And it hits for him.

Yeah. I don't care if he posts about it, but I just want to hit for him. All right, guys. Well, you do a hit for a pony, genuinely. That's true. Oh, we deal. Hashtag well-red bonner jams. We love you. Skew.

Thank you all for listening to the well-read show. We love to stick around longer. But we got to go. Skew. Tune it next week. Nothing to do. Thank you, God bless you. Good night and Skew.

Suck my dick. Oh, this is not the thing. right way here it is