wellRED podcast - #94 - #WellREDBonerJams 1st Round Results! (+ Jarrod Bain & Jess Molman Take a Hike)

Episode Date: November 28, 2018

This week the 1st round results of #WellREDBonerJams is in! Did your picks move on to the next round? We break down the results and give our predictions for the next round. Whats gonna be the big upset? Whats the best game? IS PONY STILL AROUND? SURELY TO GOD IT IS!! Also a bonus interview with our friends Jarrod Bain and Jess Mollman. If you remember the Bryson Turner Episode (#17 - Dreams are Hard Pt. 2 w/ Bryson Turner!) about giving up on your dreams and still finding happiness.... well THIS is sortly the opposite of that..Listen as Jarrod and Jess talk about quitting their corporate jobs and selling virtually EVERYTHING to go on an indefinite walkabout across the globe. We sat down with them in Burbank shortly before they headed to the airport off to Australia! WellREDcomedy.com for tickets! 

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lovely little app where you could, you know, put your friend's faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies. You know, those weren't a little like the Q-ball-looking twin fellas. Yeah, so that was money. What was that a reply gift for?

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If you're money dumb like me, Rocket Money can help. So cancel your unwanted subscriptions or reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney. dot com slash well read today that's rocket money.com slash well r e d rocketmoney.com slash well read and we thank them for sponsoring this episode of the podcast. They're the. Pacifico is brute for those who follow their own path because that can lead to an amazing view

of an epic sunset. Pacifico live life anchors up. Keep exploring at orderpacico.com. Discover responsibly. Difficulclair beer, imported by Crown Imports, Chicago, Illinois. Hello, everybody. It is your boy, the show. Well-readcom, W-E-L-L-R-E-D, Comedy.com, spelled just like the podcast. That's where you can find out where we're going to be next. Sign up for our newsletter, so you will be the first one to know when we go on tour in your fair

city or near you. Also, you can grab our book, The Liberal Redneck Manifesto, dragging Dixie out of the dark. There's also some sweet merch and yada yada yada yada, all that good stuff. This portion that, oh, you know what, if I'm going to call it the dates portion, I should probably give dates. This coming weekend, if you were listening to this, when it's put out on November 28th this weekend, we will be, God damn it, I'm so sorry, I'm tired. November 29th this weekend, we're going to be at the Washington DC Improv.

The DC Improv is one of my favorite clubs in the country. It's always a blast. The shows are always packed, so get your tickets if you haven't already. I think they're all looking pretty tight, which is sweet. So I'm super pumped about that. Then in the middle of December, we are on to St. Louis and Kansas City. So we'll be out that way. Grab those tickets now.

And then rounding out the 2018, well-read from Dixie with love. tour is going to be at our just absolute favorite place not just fuck it being a comedy club it's my favorite place on earth but it is a comedy club and it's just the best one Zanies in Nashville we're gonna be at Zanies in Nashville December 20th through the 23rd it's gonna be sweet those shows are selling quick that's like a homecoming situation for us all our boys come and we you know we're gonna blow it out this year because it's right close to Christmas so I'm pumped Can't wait to see you.

Go to well-readcom.com and grab those tickets. This portion of the podcast, as always, brought to you by Smokey Boysgrilling.com. Go to Smokey Boysgrilling.com and get all the rubs for all your meats. And even if you are not currently eating meat or whatever, you're trying to lose a little weight like the show. Put it in your sipping broth. I prefer the beef rub in my sipping broth, but the pork rub is also fantastic.

So go to Smokey Boysgrilling.com. pick up those or if you're in the north Georgia or chattanooga area you can go to your ace hardware and pick up smoky boys where it is in store also the official vodka of not only the well-read podcast but you boy the show in general carve vodka go to carve vodka

and find out what it's all about jacksonville's first craft vodka so if you want to drink like the show, and I know that you do, go to carvevodka.com and carve your path. Doing some great work over at carve vodka. Shout out to my buddy, the CEO, Paul Gray, himself. All right, guys, this episode is a doozy. It's a little two-parter, and the first portion, as promised, is going to be the hashtag well-read boner jams results for the first. first round. We're going to let you know who won, who's moving on, who they're playing. Thank you

guys so much for voting. And if you want to hop in on the fun, you can still vote in the second round. Go to, if you go to Trey's Twitter at Trey Crowder, he has shared the links to the hashtag well-read Boner Jam, the bangers bracket, and the smash bracket. And he will be sharing it again. So you can go on there and vote and join in the fun on Twitter at hashtag well-red boner jam so on this episode we have the results of the first round and we discuss you know what we thought was going to happen versus what did happen we talk about our favorite matchups for the next round and there are some doosies i'm not going to give it away right now but there are absolutely some dozies um also the the second portion of this podcast as an interview

uh that we did with uh tray's good buddies and our good buddies help we just tray knew them first Jared Bain and his fiance, Jess Momman, but I won't bore you because Tray's about to tell you all about that before we get started. We love you. And skew. Get tickets to all our shows. Skew. Well, well.

Well, here we are. Hey. And the ye old guest house out here in Bubank. Okay, just showing off now. Later on in the ep, we got a nice in-depth conversation. with two good friends of mine who, they're vagabonds.

I got two good vagabond friends. They're buddies of mine from college. No, college age, whatever. Former vagabond. That were working good jobs in Nashville and sort of the corporate world and then quit those jobs, sold pretty much everything they owned, and just left.

And they hiked the Pacific Crest Trail and are now staying with me for a couple days before they fly out tonight to go to all. Australia where the journey continues. So we're going to talk at length with them later on at Jared Bain and Jess Moulman. But first, we got to update y'all on the boner jams to bracket. Thanks for everybody that voted.

We got some pretty good participation. Especially considering that there were so many steps to take to vote. Also, yeah, no shit. Also, I'd like to say this. We said last week, and I meant it, and I mean it now, it's the most fun I've ever had doing the goddamn podcast. And I was like, I didn't know whether like everybody also would be having as much fun with it as we were. But they fucking have been.

It's been great. I think everybody's been having fun. I don't think they've been having as much fun as we had. Well, that's true. That's never true. Well, and if that were the case, I think that, you know, they'd give us an award of some type by now. Yeah, right. Yeah, exactly.

But no, everybody's, everybody's been responding. Remember hashtag well-read boner jams with all your inquiries. Yeah, I'll tweet it. The link actually doesn't change because the bracket is such that it up. updates every. Yeah, it updates on its own, so you don't have to do anything. It's on your Twitter, you vote, and it just goes ahead and puts it in the other round, I guess. And I felt we had a bunch of trouble with this.

Like, there was kind of... You don't know how big of a pain in the ass this was to actually get this still... You don't have to do it over again? No. Well, that hits. Dude, it was insanely fucking annoying. And I went through one bracket software all the way to the end, took a while. And then at the end, they told me that in order to publish it where anybody could see it at all, I had to be a member or a subscriber.

And the subscription was $384 for a year. But like, you know, it made me so mad. But anyway, all right, we're just going to do a quick rundown of the results first. Are they published? Then we'll talk about it. By the way, can people see them right now? Yeah, they're on there. They can follow the link and you'll see it on the.

brackets but anyway your head is so big so i know baby it's so big i can't i'm trying to look at you i'm i'm here you're not doing anything wrong i know i know what's doing wrong you there's no right answer i know there's a total eclipse of my heart yeah trade being in my heart and this total eclipse of the fart we would have also accepted yep that's me mm-hmm it's uh i'm trying to think of a bee pun with eclipses but i got nothing when i was in high school i got my dick sucked in a total, in a totaled eclipse. There we go. That doesn't do with the B, but I like that.

Yeah, yeah, no, that's whatever. Also, the clips was already totaled, and then you got your dick sucked? Wouldn't have anything better to do? Didn't you have to wait on the car? I'm just kidding. Is this an actual joke that or is this just something we talked about? That song by Eddie Bitter? It was originally, I can't remember who originally sang it.

I haven't thought about that joke in five fucking years. Well, the last time I thought, like, I don't even know if I ever heard it. I feel like I just heard you talking about it. And then one night we was drunkenly tagging a joke you tried to do when you were 17. And it was about that song, Fast Kiss. Let's take a break from the podcast to explain what's about to happen next. Okay, so right here, your boy, the show, is about to describe a joke that I did. I said five years in the podcast, honestly, probably more like seven years ago.

And I don't do the joke anymore. and I could have just edited this very terrible description of it out, but that is not how I roll. I will not censor myself. So enjoy this retelling, a very shitty retelling of a very shitty joke that actually I really loved at the time. Where can my baby be? The joke was one of the worst things I've ever written,

and I love telling it so much. Something about her head fell off. It was, hey, guys, let me ask you a question. And by the way, we're all of the fans, as you know, and you see my act, I've matured since then. Don't you caveat this? Yeah. He had already caveated.

It was, uh, you drive, if you're driving down the road and you're getting, uh, I can't remember the tire set up, but it's driving down the roadhead. And, uh, you wreck and she dies, but you don't. And then I would just stare at the audience and they filled it in form. They knew. I was like, do you fit? I was like, what? And then the whole punch was like, God damn it. I can't grieve with blue balls.

I've already got a lot of shit going on. And then the end punch was like the cop. and her parents show up and I'm just sitting there and I've got her dead head in my hand just poking it down in my lap just going oh where could my baby be I'm just getting my dicks up by dead lady took her away from me

Jesus Christ Yeah that's pretty goddamn gnarly It was my closer Well fuck where do you go after that No you can't and again I really got to find a tape of that I want to see what the setup is So, all right, anyway.

No, I think that was it. I think you just... It was that, but there was something funny I went in. Ah, whatever. By the way, I never saw that joke. You told somebody about it, and then I just brought it. I keep bringing it up to you. I bring it up to you, like, every four years.

Yeah. Jared, who's... We're going to interview later on is also in the room right now. Jared, do you know... I referred to the bee earlier? You know what the bee is when it comes to Corey? The bee is Corey's head. So, Corey's nickname is not the bee.

but his head has its own nickname and it's the bee. And it started because, like, his head looked like he, I got sucked, he sucked off a beehive, yeah. Or, like, he just, he looks swollen. Well, the first one was it looked like you got stung in a head by a bunch of bees at the same time. Yeah, and then sucked off a beehive. And then at the roast, you said sucked off a beehive.

Yes. But anyway, and then from that, we just started calling his head the bee. I mean, I'm sure you've noticed how absolutely gargantuan his head is. It's pretty impressive. It's not that bad. it. It's pretty big. Yeah.

I'm really hoping I had a teammate here. But anyway, so on to the results. We're doing run down the results real quick, and then we'll have some discussion, some analysis. But Boner Tams! Dun, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, and, Don't want to start. You want to do the smash bracket?

Smash bracket. Smash bracket. Yeah, for sure. Smash bracket. All right. No surprise here. Pony by Genuine. Mop the floor was still the one by Shania Twain.

You have to mop the floor after pony. advancing to the next round to take on Say My Name by Destiny's Child I might be a throwdown out there which beat Peaches and Cream by 112 It's a little heartbreaking but I get it Genie in a bottle by Christina Aguilera Narrowly defeated quit playing games with my heart

Surprise me but I wanted Andy wanted me to say that we did the wrong Backstreet Boys song and I've already forgotten which one she said we should have I wonder if it's the one we had before that we changed it to this We did and that's my fault No it wasn't that one I want it that way. I want it that way.

I want it that way. No. She goes way back. Anyway, keep one. Anyway. All right. And then number two seed all my life by Casey and Jojo beat out by bye bye by in sync. I was worried about that one.

I was worried about that one too. The other one seed on the bottom side of that bracket, I don't want to miss a thing by Aerosmith, handily defeated too close by next. The only literal boner jam in the entire bracket. Yeah, man. What are you going to do? Well, if you're the original, you're never the champion. Number three seed, amazed by Lone Star, beat pretty solidly beat out,

nobody by Key Sweat, which was, I expected, but was a bummer to make. No surprises here, Drew. So wait a minute. Is it, which one's facing what now? Those two, Amazed versus. Don't want to miss a thing is facing off against Amazed. So just a. I don't want to miss it.

Okay. Then, I think this is actually the only upset of any kind, and this ain't really an upset, but five seed you make me want to by Usher beat by less than 30 votes hit me baby one more time that ain't enough set years just i mean literally just in terms of the season right here five versus four now i mean i know but other than that it's straight chalk literally is yeah yeah so i thought we had one six three number two no digity by black street we might on bangers no digity by black street absolutely destroyed uh back at one my eighth grade class which that that is the jam but it deserved to get beat for show and we yeah it's going up against no dig itty

what are you going to do all right moving on to the bangers the ignition remix by r kelly no surprise here whipped up on thong song no scrubs by tlc handily beat out still fly by big timers so we're going to have ignition remix against no scrubs i tell you what look out upset alert i'm saying because i'm telling you that some people ain't going to vote for robert because of what Robert how he do. And now they definitely won't because you just said that. And now that it's... And it's up against no scrubs.

I know and I didn't care for it. And it's up against no scrubs. Yeah. Now I hear you. You didn't care for it when we said that last time? Because you're right, but I was like, I don't want to influence anybody in any way. I mean, I'm openly saying you ought not do that. Right.

Like you should vote on the merit of the song. Yeah. I hope people don't do that, but I guarantee you some people will. I'm trying to see pony and ignition in a motherfucking game. So, all right, number four seed. That ain't happening. I know. This was the closest one.

What hit? Less than eight, or an eight vote margin of victory for number four seed, work it by Missy, misdemeanor Elliott over, hot in her by Nellie. Who's she got in the next round? Sorry, I don't know. What's your fantasy by Lundon? Damn. Which destroyed my man, the dog DMX would party up, but again, not a surprise. Man.

It's Missy against Luda there. Going down to the Banger South or whatever. Number one, see, Back That Ass Up by Juvie, whipped up on Big Pimping by Jay-Z. Get Low by Liljohn, got more votes overall than any other song in the whole thing. People that don't even follow us just heard that that was on there and they showed up to vote. And it destroyed getting jiggy with it by Will Smith. So Get Low. God damn, dude.

Get Low was going up against Back That Assess. up. Man, I got to be honestly, just seeing these polls, I mean, I got a new, I don't know, I'm, I got a new favorite. Hey, y'all by Outcast,

handily defeated Lady Marmalade. That was way less close than I expected. Me too. I expected that one to be close also. And that makes me think if I have slept on, hey, y'all's power as a boner jam, and if we seated it too low. I 100%.

Again, I knew it was one of the best songs on there. Yeah, and I was, just because it was going to convince Lady Marmalade, if it's got almost any of these, about, okay, but that one, I was like, dude, and you can like all them women but that song and it was whatever Hey ya is going up against the number two seed Return of the Mac

Greatest song of all time across all genres And by the way, well-read fans Y'all showed out on that one I was worried Because it took care of dangerously love by Beyonce And we were worried about that one But nothing to worry about that. I played that in the car with Andy

And my old buddy Robert who rode with us towards Morgan County For the holidays from Knoxville Actually I just played like a Spotify you can just do the radio station I just did the radio station of no digity and it's mostly this list

for the record yeah yeah yeah yeah we was in a car the other day remember I just put on Usher and then it completed it was also mostly this list and so hold on I played Return to the Mac

and it's got that genius lyrics automatically if you pay for Spotify which y'all do for me well rep fans and it just yeah it talks about how much he was hitting or not hitting at the time you know he went to prison

right after that song and I'm pretty sure it was tax evasion. They didn't say on there, but I got the feeling it was like he had a hit and he was like, fuck y'all, it's my first hit, I ain't giving nobody this money. And he was talking, anyway. What a great song to have playing when you get out. That's exactly what he was talking about.

He was talking about how that song made him and he didn't give a shit. And when he gets out of prison, and people ask him if he gets tired of it. He's like, hell no, I want it playing everywhere I go. That song is so good that the guy who had to perform it every night for two years still ain't fucking tired of it. Hell no.

Hell no. Now I've got to say, I played that song the day I left the DOE pulling out of the parking lot. I've played it on so many occasions. I mean, just going to my granny's house. But I am not surprised that it won. I am surprised that it won by a large deficit. Against Beyonce.

Yeah, me too. Against any other song, whatever. All right. Yeah, again, very quickly. Well, I think that's, we, she had more boner jams than someone like Tupac or Biggie, who we talked about why we left them out. I mean, I think people voted honestly. I think they did because otherwise it's...

For sure, because it's easy just to be honest. They hit. She's great. I'm voting for her, but... All right. In the bangers bracket, Ignition Remix is going against no scrubs. Work it by Missy Elliott is going against

What's Your Fantasy by Luda? Back that ass up by Juveniles. Going against Get Low by Lil John. And Hey Y'all by Outcast is going against Return of the Mac by Mark Morrison. Dumb. If Get Lo... It's about to get lit.

Okay. It is. If Get Low wins, who are the two potential? that it will play in the next that's what i want to know if getlow manages to beat back that ass up uh it will take on the winner of hey y'all and returning to mac whoo god damn i mean it's all flames from here on that y'all it is smash bracket number one overall seed pony by genuine not not even close wait i already did that didn't you did we did smash we did smash we did smash okay so on the smash side it's pony against say my name by destiny

child and genie in a bottle against all my life by k c and jojo then the bottom part don't want to miss a thing versus a maze by low's lone star and you make me want to by usher against no digity by black street so that's where we at so major takeaways fellers well i mean again can't beat a banger again like i can't tell you how pleased i am that people voted honestly with their heart because we we were rightfully worried about return of the Mac and I don't think that I could have went on with this. If that had been your heart couldn't have gone on. It could not have

what do you think Jared? Yeah, I'm pretty pleased with the results. I thought there were a few filler songs in there and they all got eliminated so I'm happy with that. Just strike flames from here on that. Do you mean the pop songs? Because we struggled with that because we felt like it would be unfair because 12 year old us,

especially 12 year old girls, loved those songs and this was about middle school and high school dances. In that era, it just seemed like it would be insane. Deceivable. Just totally leave out all the boy band shit, all the Britney shit or whatever from that era because of how colossal it was. And Christina's still going for the record.

Yeah. Not for nothing. We also left out the Spice Girls and that's one thing that came up this week and talking with my lovely wife and she was also furious about that. But I told her that they were a big hit. And then much like the rest of the world, we forgot about them. Yeah, which one would it? I mean, what was their?

I mean, there were quite a few. I mean, yeah, but don't we want to be? If you want to be my lava. Yeah. We dance to it, I guess, but like, Jared, would you, you want to hazard a guess, throw a prediction out there for anything? What do you, what do you do? Or your personal favorite, who you'd like to see win or who you think's going to win or both? What do you think?

I mean, based on the results, I guess if I'm betting, it's going to be get low. Okay. Right now, dog, but I mean, I'm telling you, it's got to go, back that ass up. It's going to hurt it. I don't know, man. Yeah, no, I'm going with back that ass up. Right. If I'm going on a personal level.

Yeah. No, I think I'm, yeah. That sentence has been said a lot. Pony. In the world before. A lot of times people have said that. It's... No, that's a binger.

Yeah, it's fucking tough, man. To me, I mean, it's 100%. But if I'm voting my heart or with anything, it's fucking back that. We were talking about when we were, the first brought up the bracket and everything. I don't know about your school dancing. but like in salina at our school dances back that ass up was like the closer you know what i mean like it like it was every time it was the pretty much the last song and it brought the fucking house down every single time well because it's one of the greatest fucking songs of all time yes and that

and also the is it a cello that is the the intro do yeah yeah it is everybody knows what's coming when it hits it's so different than what it's coming you know it's like It almost sounds like classical music. That also reminds me, well-read listeners, if you're wondering why I was interrupting Corey as he was singing the outro last week, I was going, skew, skew, skew. And I was trying to do it to the time

just can't carry it too. A pony. Oh, that's right, I was doing pony. That's what I was doing, pony, you're right. That reminds me. I saw a meme on Facebook the other day, my girl I went to high school with posted. And it said something along the lines

of all my friends are respectable adults until they hear the words, cash money records taken over for the and then all bets are off hunt it we saw that play out not that long ago at Corey's wedding earlier this summer in June that exact thing happened. My wife about got pregnant

your boy Carlos Miller the comedian who well were listeners he's on that MTV yeah he was off we were just talking about him weren't we he just shared something or someone else shared it and he retweeted and it was him him shitting on a woman in the crowd. And she was face-timing, apparently. And woman in his audience was literally FaceTiming with her mother.

I guess the show. She was in the front fucking row. So he calls her out, and then he starts talking to her mom. And he's like, wait a man, how old you is? And he's like, he's like, 35, bitch, I'm 35 too. And clearly the mom was lying about her age. Yeah, of course. But then he starts, you know, talking about how he's,

fuck you, I'm trying to hit on your mom. And then he brought up. He goes, man, you remember when cash money dropped? It was the summer of today. So, yeah. I was on. his Twitter earlier because it's one of my favorite twitters and he tweeted he's hilarious it's it's always so very succinct to the point and I'm like man there was no fat on that that was great

the tweet that he his last tweet was uh keep yo real titties and I just thought that's so true you know what I mean keep keep your real tities you know here's here's all right guys what do you think is going to be the biggest blowout that's what I want to know because I can tell you you all right tell me little matchups again all right so over here in smash We've got pony going up against, say my name. We got genie in a bottle, Christina Aguilera going up against all my life. That's what I think.

I think all my life is going to beat the shit out of genie and a bottle. Yeah. Don't want to miss a thing by Aerosmith going up against a maze. I feel like that's going to. Damn, man. That's the seventh great girlfriend world championship right there, son. I don't want to miss a thing. It's going to win, but it won't be like a blowout.

But Casey and Jojo is about to fuck Christine Aguilera up. Then you make me want to buy Usher. going up against No Diggity. It's by Black Street. That's no, no diggedy, man. That's a smooth-off right there. Yeah, it is a smooth-off. That, man, I think...

No-Dig is going to win for sure. And it should. It fucking should. I don't think it'll be as big a blowout as Casey and Jojo, though. Casey and Jojo is going to be the biggest bar. So far, that's my answer, but do the bangers. Then on bangers, we've got ignition going up against no scrubs. To me, that's going to be the closest of the higher seeds.

Work it by Missy Ell. It's going against what's your... fantasy i think what's your fantasy takes that one um i think that one will be close that'll be that'll be close but i think what your fantasy takes it back that ass up by juvie and get low that's the game of a week yeah probably it's the game of the century man yeah it might be then hey y'all hey y'all by outcast return the mac i i don't even know what to think but it's yeah i'm so confused by how much hey y'all crushed that i i honestly feel like i just forgot about how much people love that song here's the fucking thing though man if you here's the way i'm gonna choose to

look at it. Hey y'all got 196 votes. Return on the Mac got 179. Pretty close. Hey, y'all did beat the shit out of, but it was, it beat the shit out of Moulon Rouge. Return of the Mac had that many votes and it went up against motherfucking Beyonce. You know what I'm saying? So that's how I'm... Yeah, but it was so old Beyonce, you know, it wasn't the Bayhous. It wasn't single ladies. I know. I just feel like... Could not have beat single ladies.

Jared, it was 96 to 2006. I don't know, man. Or Beyonce probably would have her own fucking bracket. I definitely don't think it's going to be a blowout, but I think Return the Max going to take that one. But game of the week, definitely get low versus back that ass up. And my prediction for the biggest blowout is 100% Casey and Jojo beating the motherfucking breaks off Christina Aguilera. I'm inclined to agree.

I think it will be the biggest margin of victory. I don't think it'll be a blowout. I think Christina's got good defense. She's been playing good all season. What are you considering a blowout? It's a percentage thing. It's not, no, it's not the number of votes because who knows. Right.

Who's going to vote? That scared the fuck out of me. Oh, my God. Jess just walked in. She was tiptoeing to not so as not to disturb our podcast, but it's not, yeah. These mics, they can barely pick up when we fart. I mean, I do it all the time and they don't ever hear it. What was we talking about?

Christina's defense. I just, I mean, I do think that'll be the largest margin of victory. I just think it'll be a little bit close. Christina's got a lot of fans. Gene Bottle's a banger, man. But, yeah, no, I agree with Jared earlier, you know, this how tournaments be. but like it's it's just nothing but you know it's getting better it's right like fucking we've yeah trim some of the fat even though you know wasn't much then i'm all that right but what was has

been trimmed and now it's just it's on there was now it's own too close two clothes two clothes got in on as a as a tribute to it's a literal boner jam in the boner jam community yeah and bryan Honestly, I think you lost your virginity for Brian McKnight, try. I feel like you lobbied for that one real hard. I was also with that because that was one of them. I mean, I remember people dancing to it. I just remember people dancing just as much to John Michael Montgomery. Any of them?

I don't know. I hear you. No, I hear you. But Brian McKnight was, I mean, it definitely was one for us. Was that the one that got beat the worst or was it too close? Those are the worst, too, right? Oh, let's see. Which is to be expected.

Yes. Okay. Well, there were two of the lowest seats too. Yeah, you be doing percent, so you know I'm numbered on. I mean, I can give a general. I don't know. I don't know which one got beat worse. Oh, you mean because they didn't get the same number of votes as a group.

Why ain't even on here? Anyway, look, we've been the same every week too in terms of like the voting is, it's open right now. I'm going to post and tweet about it again once this episode is up, which will be tomorrow soon. but you can vote already. Some people already have. But every Monday it ends, and then the next round starts the following day. And we didn't mean to do this, but the championship is Christmas Eve. Right.

Everything that's important ever in the world has happened, you know. The true reason for the season. Well, red boner jams. The birth of Jesus and the birth of Genuine. Genuine might be Jesus. Has anybody looked into that? No, I can see it. I mean, everybody assumes when Christ comes back, he'll be like, oh, floaty and try to tell people, but he might just make R&B songs.

Like, who are you suggesting is Jesus? Yeah, he's definitely Jesus. There you go. He's like, everybody knows who he is, but just from one thing. Yeah. And it hit real hard, but like. And your aunt misunderstands him, but loves him? Yeah.

When you say just from one thing, you're talking about his career or just pony because he had some. I know he did. I know he did, but let's not act like. Those genes. See, that's the first time you've mentioned a specific one, because you guys both brought that up last week. Differences, too. And in those genes is the only ones I can think of. You remember differences?

My whole life has changed since you came in. Yeah, I remember it not. I knew back then you were that special one. One of my favorite things. So deep in love. One of my favorite ridiculous jokes on a sitcom is that I'll fuck Donna on Parks and Rec. she's cousins with genuine wine. They just find out of that.

Don't fucking Aziz. Aziz. Aziz. Aziz. Aziz. God damn it. He's at her. I know. He's at her cabin.

He's like, Tapatio. Why, you got pictures of you with Genuine on the wall? Oh, because that's my cousin. What? And he fucking breaks up with that chick

because she don't know who Genuine is. I hear you. Yeah, well. Show hits. We're off to the races now. I don't have, I mean. I got nothing. We've given the updates.

I thought it was time. I thought it was time. I thought it was time. I thought it was time to move. on anyway. It is. Go vote on, go to Trace Twitter. He'll be tweeting it out. Hashtag Well Red Bonner Jams with any

inquiries or more likely complaints, which is fine and valid, and I want to hear him because we made some motherfucking mistakes. And remember, a not vote is a vote for Trump. That's true. Go on there and tell us what we did wrong. Tell us what we did right. Tell us how much we hit and you hit too. We love you. And, uh, skew.

Yeah, enjoy this interview with Jared and Jess. Do you got something else you want to say, Drew? I was singing back that ass up. All right, skew. Scoo. Here we go. All right, skew hits.

Girl, you're working with some ass, yeah. You bad, yeah. Let me tell you all the story about Jared Bain. His best gal Jess Mom and Weather getting on a plane. They're heading to Australia and they saw all of their shit. And they both told their boss he could suck on their d'u. Well, I'm only joking they're fine folks. They'd never say that.

Enjoy this interview with Jared Bain and Jess. moment. Y'all come back now. You hear? What, Katie? Fine. Okay, tell me to put my feet down. Here we are. We're in my living room. My living room in Burbank. I'm getting accosted by my wife. I'm getting dressed down telling me to put my feet on the floor because I'm putting my feet in the faces of our guests. It's not what I'm actually doing, but she's making me feel that's like what I'm doing. So here we are. The show. here on his uh he's got he's on the ones and twos the show's on the once and twos check in show just everybody knows you're here what's going on everybody by the way it's it's not i mean i get

your feet are insane uh-huh so like it's not katy being like tray you're rude get your feet off the couch it's katy being like i don't if everybody ain't seen them yet they don't have to yeah yeah also like people need to sit on that couch yeah you can't have your feet on it yeah whole human bodies need that space. I know it looks like. I know it looks like one of those Kmart shoes you used to wear, but you can't actually put your whole foot in. But so we're here with some old friends of mine who I wanted to talk to on the podcast

because I feel like, I feel like they're in line with something that will resonate with people of our generation. And people who listen to the podcast know we did it. like a series early on about like our generation and the tendency to have general discontent with life as we all know it or whatever general you know just a life more ordinary and all that and all you'll follow your dreams and all that stuff and people feeling like I don't know left out or upset about how things are going with them and not knowing what to do about it And people take different approaches to dealing with that.

And my two good friends here tonight, Jared Bain and Jess Moorman. Why aren't we talking about how, like, it's our generation? It's like we, I guess, would like, we lived in a kind of a, not that my dad didn't have cartoons, but like we had cartoons and we had video games. And I think we were like the first generation that had this completely fantastical idea about what the world could be. Because Pixar came about in our lifetime, we were just like, You can't fucking be anything. And then we all grew up and found out you can't be anything at all.

I don't think that's a bummer. I don't. I think that's more about like the wars and stuff. Like going to. Oh, yeah. Wars don't hit. Oh, 9-11. Going to the Great War and like defeating the Nazis and become it like.

I can understand how that generation of Americans and then the people they gave birth to would genuinely believe this idea of like, we are superheroes who can do anything that we want to do. ever because we're Americans and that's how America be. Boy, were those stupid pieces of shit wrong. But like, I get what that was coming from. Dude, of course I get where that's coming from. But either way, we've talked about... And then we put a man on the moon and then we fucking invented Nintendo 64. Why wouldn't we think that we rule?

Right. We do. We do rule. We do rule. Actually, like 10 dudes rule. Right. Exactly. Exactly.

And with our generation, it became a thing of we all rule. We've kind of diverged a little bit because I'm making a lot of assumptions about you guys right now but I feel like it's all kind of tied into the same thing as people that are the same age as us like I said it will resonate with them because you guys Jared

and Jess you guys both working in corporate America you had good transcripts with good college degrees and good jobs and good resumes and all that upstanding citizens in metropolitan areas

namely Nashville Tennessee and you guys quit your jobs, sold everything you owned. Like, gave it all up. Hippie Queers. And hit the road and first of all, hike the entire Pacific Coast Trail, but just for starters. You did that, finished it. Now you're here in L.A.

waiting to catch a plane to Australia where the journey continues. So that's a hell of a thing to do, to commit to. Tell us about the genesis of that, how that started. Because that's crazy. That's a crazy thing to do. Not to be like a stickler, but it's Pacific Crest Trail. Oh, damn. Okay.

Okay. I did not know that. No, it's okay. It's confused with the Pacific Coast Highway. Pacific Coast Highway. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So most people kind of associate that.

PCT, not the same thing. Yeah. Okay. Is Stickler Jewish for asshole? Yeah. Sorry. Sorry. I don't think our other through hiker friends, if they hear this, will let us live that down if we don't correct it.

No, I'm genuinely glad you corrected it. I'm glad to know that going forward because I would definitely keep fucking that up. Yeah. So Pacific Crest Trail. Yes. at what point did that particular thing enter your minds? Or was it that to begin with or was it just a general, we need to do something and then you found that?

Yeah. What was the order of it? I would say it's a combination of the two. We, I mean, Jared and I live in Nashville working. We went to college. You know, we got jobs. We. That's how I met you guys.

me and Jared went to business school together in Cookville, Tennessee. That's where you go for business school. Went to business school together there and worked at old charlie's together, and that's where we met. That's how I got to know you guys. But so me and Jared were in business school together, graduated, both found jobs. He found a job with the accounting firm. I found a job with the federal government, and we're, you know, fucking pumped about it.

fast forward six plus years and I'm full-time comedy and all that and Jared has quit his job to hike the Pacific Crest Trail. So yeah it's a combination. What's the like where we all's heads at when you graduated, right? versus over the course of the time between then and when you hit the dusty trail. Yeah, so you were making a point of like if it was a combination of, you know, is it where you are in life? Were you feeling stagnant? Yes, we are definitely feeling stagnant after, you know, college and then getting jobs,

getting experience. And you're just like, is this nine to five thing going to be forever? Is this, you know, is there something more? and we were spending a lot of our time, spare time, PTO, traveling, going to parks and hiking and just being outside of the city. So getting kind of, I guess, restored in the outdoors. And so we like to take trips and road trip and drive. So we flew into Phoenix and drove up to the Grand Canyon and then over here to L.A.

and then we took the Pacific Coast Highway up the California coast. And I had to get off in San Francisco, and Jared kept going up into Seattle. And I think, you know, from there is really his story and kind of what sparked even, in my opinion, Jared kind of brought it to the table of, you know, we're feeling stagnant. We need to, we want to change. We want to do something bigger than what we're doing right now and just working. And, you know, I think by chance he came across the Pacific Crest Trail. Yeah. Yeah.

So in a bookstore in Portland, I was looking for just books on the Pacific Coast Highway, which is what we've been driving up the coast. And so basically, because I was looking for the Pacific Coast Highway, naturally, I'd see the books on the Pacific Crest Trail. And I was just kind of flicking through those, and then I bought one of them. And then, you know, it was more like we were talking about taking a break from work or trying to find something big to do. And then that was kind of like the little seed that was planted to really make us think, okay, well, maybe this is something we could do. But what about, I feel like the question on most people's minds initially, and I'm one of those people, is, is money not one of the first things you thought of? like at what like how does the money part of it work i feel like i might be skipping some steps here but i think that's like but that's like to me yeah that seems like the first question

because i mean it's one of those things money is just a necessary evil no matter what you want to do or how you're looking at it you got to have at least some money so how did that work in your mind ahead Jared um yeah i mean of course you're going to have to have money um and that's one of the scarier parts about the whole process is like okay i guess i'm going to quit my job because i'm going to have to take this much time off and not only is there a risk in you know leaving the workforce when you're kind of in a field that would be considered a career and you know you don't want to take large gaps of time off but you know you can't do something like that without doing that. So either on a sabbatical or quitting your job pretty much. So we were trying to figure

all that out. But I mean, once we kind of came up with that goal and we knew what we were going to be doing two years from then. Yeah, it was actually, I was looking at my notes because I still have the, we made a three to five year plan after just a really rough year. Like I was super stressed out at work and I was just like, this is not, this is not good for me. And Jared and I had just taken a trip. And we were like, let's see where like the next three to five years are going to take us. And in three years from that, we had on our kind of goals was like hike the Pacific Crush Trail and take three to six months off. But to do that, we had to, I mean, two to three years in advance, start saving and like prioritizing the things we did in our day to day.

day life and our routines to kind of make that happen. So did you guys have like a magic number? You said you were like, did you have like an account for this that you were like, this is the mark we're trying to hit. And when we hit that, we're good to go and we can go from there. I mean, we were kind of constantly trying to figure out how much we would need to do it. How are you going about that? Like what like what resources were you using to determine what you would need to even do

that. Well, I mean, we were basically using blogs. Yeah. There's not like any major websites dedicated to figuring something like that out. So you're, you're really just going on like different travel type blog sites or individual blogs. So, I mean, as far as a trail goes, there's a ton of information about how much it's going to cost to do the Pacific Crest Trail. But I mean, the numbers you see are going to vary like from $3,000 to $10,000, you know, because it all depends on. They're on the person who wrote the blog your rating. Right. And their lifestyle.

What they're working with. Yeah. Does this person enjoy like two days off in every single town he goes to and take it easy and order pizza and drink, you know, beers? And there are plenty of people who are kind of hiking the trail like that. And then there's people who don't really either have that luxury because they don't have the budget or they want to kind of get by with his little. outside help, I guess you would say, as possible. And so it's really a big difference in how much

it's going to cost you. But for us, I mean, you know, I think Jess had like three years out, we decided we were going to do this. And so for us, it wasn't like a small thing, obviously. It was this very big, like, bat shit crazy thing that we're like, okay, well, we're saying we're going to do this. We're going to do it. And so once we had, I would say that goal, And it was so big to us. We were like, all right, well, we have to take this serious. So let's just cut out any unnecessary spending. Like, let's start blowing our money on stupid stuff, like eating out all the time.

And, you know, just stuff that wasn't going to get us to where we needed to be. So we got really serious about it. And, I mean, you know, it's crazy the difference in having, like, something big plan down the road can make whenever you're making decisions, you know, in the current moment. And so, I mean, we, from that point on, we were in. And we're like, we're not telling anybody. We're just going to start planning and getting ready. And we did. And, like, every weekend, we would go to coffee shops or somewhere and just get on our computers and plan.

And, you know, it's kind of cheesy to talk about. But plan what? Like, I mean, plan how far out? Like, how much of a plan really was it ultimately? Yeah. You know? Yeah. I mean, I can, I think, answer in more detail.

Just Jared always kept budgets. I honestly never kept budgets growing up. Like my parents didn't teach me that. I know how to balance a checkbook. But truly, like, I wasn't keeping tab of where my money was going. So for like a year or two, you know, leading up to, well, probably two to three years before we actually took off was that we were tracking our expenses very closely and seeing, you know, how much. We were spending on, like he was saying, like necessities versus just fun money.

And like me going to T.J. Max or Nordstrom rack on my lunch break when I got paid that weekend and, you know, blowing X amount of dollars. Well, that's not going to get us anywhere to where we need to go. Tune into this part, Katie. Listen. Yeah, but listen to what Jess is saying, Katie. Outside of the money part of the budget part, like what would you say we spent time planning? gear we spent a ton of time researching what type of backpacking gear that we needed um I mean Jared and I I mean for me personally I had only had a couple nights backpacking experience

like one to two nights and that is nothing and that also is kind of a testament that you don't have to have a ton of experience to do something like this you just have to like okay set my mind to it set this goal and just go after it so you I mean you can get comfortable with it but One of the things Jared did really well, and I mean, just planning purposes was research. A ton of blogs. Halfway anywhere is a good one that, you know, we really look to for a lot of advice from previous through hikers from past years. And then, I mean, what else will we do? What other things are we doing?

But what, how far, okay. So you guys made that decision you planned up for. it you quit the jobs you went and it took you how long to do that part of it yeah so we we quit our jobs both on april 12th and then so that was that was a thursday 2018 yeah yeah so this year um they're assuming when this comes out it'll be uh 2018 but um what so you you you quit your job April 2018. You finish the Pacific Coast Trail or Crest, Pacific Crest Trail.

What date? So we started on April 25th, and I guess I should make a note of it that we both quit our jobs on April 12th, and then we got engaged that night as well. It was a good night. Yeah. Yeah.

So that was our first. The shit ring did you get? Yeah. Yeah, speaking for the. Speaking for the friend group. It was a long time coming. Trade it in the truck for it. Yeah.

I've been waiting on it for a while, buddy. I was glad to find it finally happened. That's a side note, though. So then we started on April 25th, and we flew to San Diego on the 24th, and we stayed with, there's this infamous trail angel. Not infamous, famous, legendary, awesome couple. Yeah, in San Diego, and they basically host hiker. that are coming, like flying in to do the trail. And so we're talking like they can host like 40 people a night.

Yeah, probably more. And they provide breakfast, lunch, dinner. If you're a USA hiker, you get to stay for one night. If you're Canadian, you can stay for two nights. And if you're from somewhere totally outside of North America, pretty much, you can stay for three nights to get ready and, you know, kind of get over your jet lag before you start. anyway we we stayed with them um the night before all that's free of charge they accept no money whatsoever um then they took us they're amazing amazing people yeah pick you up from the airport

um what we're talking yeah they work a street a night what yeah and you camp in their backyard they just go volunteers yeah holy shit yeah there's like this huge community um for through hikers specifically pacific cross trail that these people just just show up and donate their time, not even like donating. They want to be there and they want to help these people, us through hikers, you know, accomplish this goal because, you know, it's not easy. And I know that for this specific couple, they're called Scout and Frodo. And they, they always heard from other through hikers that the day before was their worst day and even the first day on trail was the worst day of their hike because it was so stressful. They, you know, had so much

to figure out, especially international folks, you know, having to figure out SIM cards, gear. Like, some of them have to purchase everything once they get to the United States because they don't have that type of gear in their country. But anyway, all that to say,

there's a lot of people along the trail that, you know, give a beer, show up on a random part of the trail and have food and give you rides and transportation and whatnot. Well, that's fucking,

awesome and give some faith back in humanity. But to skip ahead some... We're digressing. No, no, we're not digressing. I mean, that's fucking good detail to have. But I want to make sure and cover the whole story to this point. You guys have done that, completed it, went back to Tennessee for a little bit. you're now here with me in Los Angeles because you're on the way to Australia, ultimately,

for how long and then and then what, and then after that, then what? Have you even thought about it? Have you made a decision not to think about it? Yeah. How's all that work? We get asked all the time when's the wedding, but it's not really. It's kind of exactly what you're saying. we're focusing on what we're doing right now.

And that also includes not a lot of planning. So the first leg of our trip is going to be in Australia and we'll get to visit some people that we haven't seen in a long time. Yeah. And we're also going to get to hang out with some people from the trail that we met three different people in Australia that we're going to hang out with. Yep. That's fucking sweet. And so we'll be there in Australia for about a month. and then we'll go down to New Zealand where some friends,

where we went to college are living in Wellington, New Zealand. We're going to spend some time with them. Both Australia and New Zealand, we're going to be renting a camper van and road tripping part of the time. Again, just to ask a question that I feel like a lot of people who are listening right now probably have in their brain, how does the money for that work? because you guys haven't been working this whole time, right?

Do you have a, do you have like a drop dead date in your mind, you know, for like when you've got to figure something out to cover the mains for it? Or is that not part of it also? Yeah, for sure. I mean, basically it's the date of like probably the month of April when we'll say, okay, we should probably get back. figure out, you know, what we're going to do for work and stuff like that. Just because I think over a year off of work is just kind of like getting a little too, too much. And I think everything we will have done during that time is pretty cool. And I think most people would enjoy hearing about it.

But, you know, we don't want to take too much time off. Well, have you ever, have you ever been in a situation or encountered anything where you thought you could turn that into a, a profession or source of income. I mean, like on the travels, I mean, if you encountered something, have you ever encountered something

that you're like, well, you know, we could just do this. We could just start doing this and make this our life. Like, is,

yeah. Have you ran into anything like that? Or the whole time has it been like, this trip's going to end and then we're going to go back to things. It feels like they haven't thought about work at all. Like,

like, we do this and I'll fuck that. Yeah. Trey's giving us things. anxiety right now. Yeah, I know. I know. What the hell are you guys doing with your life?

These guys, y'all been having the fucking time of your lives for a year in Treasure Center going, what about money and impending doom? And like, but no, I hear you, that is what the people want to hear. How much longer is it's going to last? I'm genuinely interested in it.

I'm sorry, we can stop talking about it. It's one of those things that we just don't really try to, like, talk about a lot. But, I mean, it is just a matter of figuring out how much money do you spend when you go on vacation or do you typically live in your lifestyle so if that's you're you know like jared was saying

bare bones you try to get by on as little as possible and you love you know just budget travel then it's probably not going to cost you very much hold up here i come i've been silent this whole time i was booking my hotel room got it figured out by the way so i don't know if you're like me but when i go on vacation, uh, pretty much the entire reason that I go is to floss. You know what I'm saying?

Like, is to flex on these hose. Let the, especially now, like, used to I couldn't do a vacation like that because like I didn't hit, but now I do hit. And like,

I ain't trying to go nowhere and not like, you know, be on a goddamn boat with some motherfuckers and shit like that. So like, so admittedly, I'm sure you've covered this, but I wasn't paying attention on account. I was trying to get a hotel.

So, like, y'all just be hanging out in the woods. That's what's up. Which, by the way, I'm in, you look like two people who could hang out in the woods and still be like, oh, they should be in a fucking indie film. You know what I mean? Like, some people that hang out in the woods, it wasn't because it was their choice. You look like some people that chose to be in the woods, which is good. But, like, that's just, you are cool with just being like, let's just lay here in the woods and eat eggs. That's cool?

Like, you ain't trying to get on the both? No, it was more like laying in the woods and eating, like, candy bars and tons of tuna and tacos. and cheese and peanut butter Eminem so close. Like good tuna? But like good stuff. Yeah. No, I'm going to.

Like you went to Whole Foods. No. Okay, I was about to say because I don't know anybody that quit their job they could go to Whole Foods more than twice afterwards. You know what I mean?

I would like to say that this question is coming from the guy who called us hippie queers at the start of the show. I don't know who that was. I don't know who that was. You could barely hear it in the microphones. No, yeah, for sure.

Dude, I'm a huge hypercritter. Are you kidding me? I'm just saying like, so, again, and admittedly, wasn't paying attention. Sure you've already covered this. Were you guys some outdoorsy, crunchy motherfuckers and then decided to do this, or is this like a complete, fuck it. Let's do the complete opposite of everything, you know, before we hang from one of these trees that we're going to eventually live in.

Yeah, I mean, I think if you were to like ask one of our friends if we were outdoorsy, they would say, oh, yeah, they're really outdoorsy. Okay. But for us, I can vouch for that. Yeah. Yeah, I mean. But outdoorsy to him and me. Honestly. It's like, did you check the mail today?

Yeah, yeah. Boy, that guy really likes going outside, don't he? Yeah. I was like, man. This new buddy, Jared, he talks about trees every now and then. He likes to walk. He's something else. Yeah, earlier, Tray was like, so what was your, do you have any, like, really bad days on trail?

And I was like, yeah, we had one, and it was a really, really bad day. But, you know, we were almost to the finish. We only had two weeks left. And he was just like, Jesus, two weeks. he was like yeah we only had two weeks like 150 miles left oh yeah only 150 miles and two weeks left to hike in the snow yeah that's nothing i don't know why you even complaining about jerry

that's not even worth bringing up that's so easy yeah but yeah no why would that why would anybody do that i'll barely drive drunk 150 miles you know by the way i don't drive drunk anymore back in my day 150 miles was the cutoff well that's because by the time you get to your destiny nation you're sober well let me ask you this let me ask you this and you just said something that i don't want to gloss over you just said what you said a bad day on the trail we had a bad day on the

trail what does that mean because like that to you i know you i know you just kind of said that and went on about your life because you know what the fuck does a bad day on the trail means because i got to tell you it's great question seems like they all suck you know what i'm saying so what is what what do you think sucks i mean i you need some perspective for this one for sure that's why i Because for us, it's probably your nightmare. And for us, you know, you, it's probably like, you know, the first time you had to take a shit in the woods is your first day. That's fine. I'm not worried.

Like, I'll take a shit in the wood. But like, I know that there's, you know, my house near somewhere. Like, not so far in the woods. And I'm like, this will be my last shit. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Well, I mean, our worst day wasn't until, I don't know, probably like. It was a week.

I know exactly the day. It took you a week to have, like, a day that you thought of that. It's the Sunday we don't talk about. Because. Okay. No, we can talk about it. Sunday,

Bloody Sunday. It really is. You have to, it depends on your level of what's, what's a bad day. Okay, well, imagine I got every day in the woods would be a bad day for me.

So just like, what's your shit? Well, our worst day was, we had six days left when we finally got our absolute worst day. Can't stream a Brian Regan special or nothing. Yeah. God damn.

I guess in a nutshell, it was, it was in Washington, uh, Washington, when you hit the cascades, can get just really cold or you can get random snowstorms. I mean, you know, like after September, you're basically... Supposed to go inside. Well, after October, you're supposed to go inside.

But yeah, kind of. Or not, you need to be inside, but you need to be, you know, ready for whatever. And so, I mean, we just had one of those days. I think the high was like 42. We hiked through a blizzard. we hiked through about a mile or two a trail that turned into a little river. I just imagine this motherfucker. Aren't you glad we're not at work right now?

Yeah, I haven't been in a fucking side where there's Cheetos and shit. Yeah, that's funny, but I can't think of a time that we ever thought I would rather be at work. No, I'm aware. I really don't. No, no, I believe, I fucking believe that completely. No, but I should finish the bad day story. I should finish the bad day story. This was like, being a dick.

I wouldn't want to go to work either. Noon probably, all this stuff had happened. And we had, Jess had started counting the number of blowdowns, which are just trees that have blown down over the trail. And she got to like 93 and 10 miles. And it was pouring the whole day. And I mean, it's just one of those. So bad day is something that's like kind of a,

out of your control. And this, in this particular bad day, which was our worst day, my worst day, was that it just, you know, the elements. They, like, were relentless. And there's nothing we could do to change our situation because there was no exit 50 miles ahead of us or 50 miles behind us. It was just like us in the wilderness and our wet clothes, our wet shoes, our wet tent, wet everything. And, yeah, so you got, you get this kind of like, how am I going to get out of this? I thought I was going to be able to get out of it. But it's not that bad. Is that all this going through your mind in that scenario?

Like, I mean, when you're in that scenario and you're not thinking, oh, I wish it was at work right now, like what, which I believe that. Yeah. What are you thinking, though? Are you just thinking about, I got to crest this next section here? Oh, man. Yeah, like that, like you're just thinking on the task that's in front of you or what? Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, it's kind of, you live like a privileged lifestyle, but when you, you're cold and wet, you can't think about anything other than being cold and wet. Right. It's like, right. And getting dry. Yeah. It's in full blown. I don't like this.

We have to survive. Yeah. And it's not that extreme. But I mean, yeah, you, you just kind of like go through it. And you do have instances where we, that same day, we actually had to figure out if we wanted to go over this mountain pass or not because we were at like 3,000 feet and it was pouring rain, but you knew

it at 5,000 feet it was going to be a blizzard. And so that's some real life Oregon trail shit dog. That's like that's like the choice box pops up in front of you. It's like forward the river or caulk the wagon and float it

except for like it's your real face that's going to freeze off. That really is that. That really is that. How the fuck, how do you navigate that? Well, and you might be thinking, why would you go over that mountain pass? It's a blizzard up there, right? Yeah. Well, we were like 55.

Is it because it's there? We were like 3,000 feet, and we'd go over this 5,000 foot mountain pass, but on the other side we could get down to 2,500 feet. Okay. To stay for the night. Yeah. Which is going to be a lot lower and a lot warmer, and hopefully the rain wouldn't be as bad.

Damn, man. Yeah. So it's just all that to say, we have to stay. We hiked over 150 days, 150 and some change, and we have a handful. And that is like the one day that was awful. Yeah, we shouldn't even be talking about that days. We're lucky. We are so lucky. We had like three.

That's amazing. I don't know, and Tray can vouch me on this. One time, I didn't work for a whole year, and I stayed at the house. Did you ever think about that? You know what I mean? Like just like not working and just like staying at the house? Yeah. Ever crossed your mind not to be fucking literal heroes?

Yeah. He was so sad. that's true he was very sad I was around for that and oh he was sad you know what would have helped me a blizzard

that's what I think no you're right I was sad he was so sad so sad so okay y'all are going to

the South Pacific for Australia and New Zealand and then come what may baby and how much is it going to cost How much is it going to cost? A lot.

That's what I want to know. No, we're going to get an update on that. Treeland. We join us in 2020 when we find out how much did that shit cost. Hold up. So you're going to, you said, Australia and New Zealand and then Southeast Asia. Okay. So we're thinking about being gone until about April.

Okay. I'll tell you what, when y'all start running low on cash, just holler at me and I will VMO y'all money to send me like weird types of foods. and I won't know what they are, so you can tell me anything. He's been like, yeah, it was 75, fucking whatever. And I'll just get like a little square of cheese. And I'll be like, oh, it is from fucking Newfoundland or whatever. I don't know shit.

You know what I mean? I'll do it. Yeah, that's a great idea. He's real dumb. Easy to trick. Very. He wants you to trick him. You can tell.

By the way, he's talking. Yeah. He wants to be tricked. Whatever Corey wants. He gets. He's the chief hitting officer. He is the chief hitting officer. We all rejoin us.

after the culmination of all this. And we'll get an update. Which everyone makes it. One of y'all. I hope it's Jess. Yeah, I do too. All right. Well, thanks for joining us, Jared and Jess,

and we're going to get an update in about 18 months or something like that. Okay. All right. Yeah. All right. Scoo. Scoo.

Scoo. Scoo. Thank you. Thanks, Corey. You're welcome. Coming in, spicing it up at the end. Thank you all for listening to the well-read show. We'd love to stick around longer, but we got to go.

Tune in next week if you got nothing to do. Thank you, God bless you, good night and skew. Progressive Presents Precious Moments. Hey, Jess, want to come for a ride on my motorcycle? You know, we can talk about our feelings and explore our emotional compatibility. I thought you'd never ask. you just heard didn't actually happen. But it could.

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