wellRED podcast - BONUS EPISODE: Corey Ryan Forrester Answers Twitter Questions (and is fat)

Episode Date: August 8, 2019

wellredcomedy.com Corey answers questions from twitter and facebook cause y'all deserve a bonus episode.

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion, because you used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie. I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now. Skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people. People across the ske universe, I should say. Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year?

Do you even know? Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery? Getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low main? Because that's a thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better. and it's called Rocket Money.

Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket Money shows all your expenses in one place, including subscriptions you already forgot about. If you see a subscription, you don't want anymore, Rocket Money will help you cancel it.

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I used Rocket Money and realized that I had apparently been paying for two different language learning services that I just wasn't using. So I was probably like, I should know Spanish. I'll learn Spanish. and I've just been paying to learn Spanish without practicing any Spanish for, you know, pertinent two years now or something like that. Also, a fun one, I'd said it before,

but I got an app, lovely little app where you could, you know, put your friend's faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies. You know, those weren't a little like the Q-ball-looking twin fellas. Yeah, so that was money.

What was that a reply gift for? Just when I did something stupid. Something fat, I think, and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first, but then I quit using it and was still paying for it and forgotten. If it wasn't for Rocket Money, I never would have even figured it out. So shout out to them.

They help. If you're money dumb like me, Rocket Money can help. So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney. dot com slash well read today that's rocket money.com slash well r e d rocketmoney.com slash well read and we thank them for sponsoring this episode of the podcast. Chlorinated water is for swimming, not drinking or bathing. Cities add chlorine to hatchetchy water

causing dry skin and hair. This is Claire Beverly and I want to tell you about life source water systems, the solution to your water worries. A life source system filters your water from every tap, reducing the harsh taste and feel of chlorine and giving you softer skin and hair without maintenance, no salt, filters, or servicing. Call 888712424279 for a free consultation or visit lifesourcewater.com. Life Source, taste and feel the difference. What's going on? Well, Red Nation, for those of you that don't know what's going on with this bonus episode,

I took to Twitter and Facebook earlier and just asked everybody on those respective platforms to ask me anything because I felt like y'all deserved a bonus episode. So I'm just going to go straight for it, and we're just going to take to Twitter. I'm going to read some of these questions. I'm going to answer them. Let's see. On Twitter, the main man, Okra. I see the Okra Boy Stan account.

This is a boy Slobberhose. Ask, how many feral hogs could you kill in three to five minutes? My weapon of choice is a baseball bat. I would say, ah, fuck, those critters are pretty tough. Probably two. and then Jimmy Ho rebuttaled on that. He said, how many could Papal Batman kill? Since we were one and the same, I'll still say two.

Let's see. Jimmy Ho asked, how many, oh boy, about how many Asian fellers and ladies do y'all get at your shows? Also, what is your favorite trampled by Turtle song, and why isn't it ceiling slide? First off, ceiling slide is a great song, but my favorite trampled by Turtle song is probably, we all get lonely, top of my head,

which is what we're doing. Top of my head, we all get lonely. About how many Asian fellers and ladies do y'all get at your shows? Well, probably, I don't know, about as many as you'd expect, depending on the region, because, I mean, fuck, I don't know the,

I don't know exactly how many Asians there are per capita everywhere that we play. I'll say this, in San Francisco, more. There's more Asians that come out. Not enough. There's not, it's, you know, It's mainly old white people. I don't know why that's all we appeal to, but we try to, you know, I wish our shows are more diverse, but you hear that?

Asians, come out. Okay. Slauberhoes also asked, deserted island playlist, five songs, three movies, one TV show. Okay. Since we're going off the top of the head, this is definitely going to be something that will change depending on what my mood is. but all right five songs we'll go right now we'll go with um this is the mood i'm in southern hospitality by ludicrous um build me up buttercup by oh shit who sings build me up buttercup is it the foundations is that who it is build me up buttercup the foundations um decoration day by jason isbel that's three uh don't look back in anger by oasis that's four and the weight by uh the band that's not my top five songs of all time. That's just currently the mood I'm in.

If I was on a deserted island, that's what I would listen to. My three movies that I would take probably, let's see, we're going to do, we'll do a comedy, we'll do something, little light, okay, we'll do three movies,

Blaz and Saddles, the greatest movie of all time. We'll do Inglorious Bastards, and we'll do midnight in Paris, one TV show. I could have one TV show on a deserted island. Okay.

Let me run through my favorite sitcoms of all time. First off, we got, you know, Seinfeld. I'm an O.G. Seinfeld fan. I love Parks and Rec. I love The Office. 30 Rock. Breaking Bat. Okay.

If we're only going to do one, I'm going to say 30 Rock. And my reasoning on that is because 30 Rock is such a complicated, complex show that every time I rewatch it, I find something that I haven't, maybe didn't catch the first time. So that'd probably be something good for a deserted island. Um, Michael P.S. Mullins asked, fuck Mary Kill the three stooges. Okay. Um, I'm going to fuck Larry because Larry, I feel, depending on the placement of the pillow, if I put his head into it just right, he's got like longer curly hair.

in the back, I could at least convince myself that that was a chick, maybe. I'm going to marry Curley, because obviously we have a lot in common. Fat ball, don't hit. And I'm going to, yeah, I guess kill Mo. He seems like a dick. I guess depending on the iteration, though, you know, was it when Mo left for a minute and there was Shimp? Or was it Curly left for a minute and there was Shimp?

I'll fuck Shemp, too. That's fine. My buddy Tim in the summer suit says, how many beers were going to, to drink in Chicago. Every beer in Chicago, Tim. Tim is referring to Starcast 3, put on by none other than Conrad Thompson, which I will be attending on Labor Day weekend. And I'm also going to go to the AEW event, and it's going to be a fucking super blast, so I can't wait for that. Jimmy Ho. Okay, this is three questions from Jimmy. I'll allow it. I'm a plate liquor, i.e. when I finish a meal at a restaurant, I lick the plate clean to get all the sauce and or

crumbs. I realize it's considered bad manners, so I look around first so no one's staring at me, but I have a little shame in this. Are you the same way? Motherfucker, do you even need to ask? Of course I'm the same goddamn way. Good Lord. Um, okay, Sarah. Sarah Wofford, huge friend of the podcast. What the fuck are you going on about Siri? Siri? Sorry, Siri was acting up. Sarah asked, my friends told my math teacher I drove like I learned by watching Smokey and the Bandit, which I'm watching for the first time tonight. What's a movie slash show? You watched super late.

Oh, boy, that's a good question. And I'm going to think on that for a second. Atop of my head, probably the shining. I didn't see the shining until, like, I want to say five years ago, maybe I was like 25 years. or 26 when I saw The Shining. And I feel like that was super late because, like, you know, obviously my entire lifetime, it has been a, you know, first ballot Hall of Fame classic. My reasoning is that, like, I'm not super into scary shit.

I love Stephen King, like, you know, Green Mile, Shawshank Redemption, Stephen King, but I've never been like a scary movie type person. And I'll be honest. I mean, I did like The Shining. I appreciated what Kubrick did. I appreciate that it is a classic. I think it should be. It's still not my cup of tea.

It's definitely a movie. I would probably never watch again because not only did it scare the shit out of me, it also creep me the fuck out. So, yeah, fuck that. So it was probably The Shining. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see.

More. Yeah. Megan, my girl, fan girl and Megan asked, Yo, when are you going to finally watch Supernatural and come back on the podcast? Um, hey little buddy. Hey, little pal. Everybody can probably hear you jingle jangling around, but they're just going to have to get used to that, I guess. Um, I saw that Supernatural was on Netflix.

So yeah, I'll probably, I'll at least watch the pilot because I'll try to watch as many pilots as I can, even if I'm not going to finish the show. So I'll watch the pilot and I'll holler at you. Um, Sarah Wofford also asked, what would a well-read scout badge have on it? A butt for sure. But what else? Uh, I've already made badges for childhood trauma. anti-capitalism and ex-decentral dread. What a well-read scout badge have on it?

Honestly, probably a raven coming out of a butt. That's what I'm going to go with. Like a butt farting a raven. If you could get that to happen, a butt just farting out a big old stinky raven. That'd be what it would be. If you were to start a wrestling... This is Trevor, Mr. Robo Eyes on Twitter. If you were to start a wrestling tag team with Drew Morgan and DJ Lewis,

what would your tag team name be? sorry it's a Wednesday and I don't have any hard-hitting questions I think that's a a hard-hitting question that's a three-man tag there with me Drew and DJ I'm just going to refer to my last answer we would be the stinky budded Ravens oh the PTM racing podcast which I've been a guest on I think more than once I'm not really sure great podcast you'll check them out if you're in a NASCAR he asks how many of Amber's friends are single none Absolutely none. She had one hold-off and she just entered into a relationship. And it is a point of contention with Amber because when I'm on the road, she doesn't now have like just a single girl to hang out with, like her beck and call, like somebody that's not, you know, in a relationship or always doing shit. So like, no, none of her friends are single. Sorry about it.

uh, Dustin asked if professional wrestling has a Mount Rushmore who's on it? Leaving out personal preference, of course. I'm talking ring work, Mike skills, impact on the business,

pop culture, the whole package. I say Hogan, Flair, rock, Austin. I mean, shit,

man, that's, uh, that's probably fairly close to mine. I think it's, and you said, Andre and Sina hot on their heels. Yeah,

I mean, those are fucking gray. I, I, it's impossible for, me to leave out personal preference, especially considering I'm not a professional, I'm not Dave Meltzer, like I can't give you a great, I mean, I know, I know what a great technician is, but like I can only tell you who my favorites were. It's like, my personal Mount Rushmore is probably,

God damn it, this is difficult. It used to be Hogan, it's not anymore, now that I've gone back and watch. He's great. He's fantastic. He's just not on mine. For me, it's probably macho man Randy Savage, Rick Flair, macho man Randy Savage, Rick Flair, Stone Cold Steve Austin. Man, it's the rock. Macho Man Randy Savage. Rick Flair.

What did I say the rock? I didn't mean to say the rock. I'm all fucked up, man. This has got me fucked up. Rick Flair, macho man Randy Savage, Stone Cold Steve Austin. God damn it. Sean Michaels for me, Sean Michaels for sure.

How many pigeons would it take to pick up and carry away a 200-pound man basing theoretically at full dive speed, potential and kinetic energies as though they had the strength to perform this fee. How many pigeons would it take to carry up 200-pound man? These are Mike Tyson-trained pigeons.

That might be different. I'm going to say, well, goddamn. All right, let's figure out how many pounds do you think a regular ass fucking pigeon could carry? Shit, man, I don't know. I'd say, I don't know, we'll say 40 pigeons. That's probably stupid.

Chip Self asked, have you heard the new Stephen Lynch album? The man is backing in top form. That shit hits so hard. I haven't heard the new Stephen Lynch album, but like, did I talk about that shit on the podcast or something? Because me and Trey talked not long ago about, like, where is Stephen Lynch at? Because he used to hit for me super hard.

So I will have to go check that out. Who has better hair, Riba or Dolly? Jesus, it's Dolly, is the answer to literally everything. I mean, Travis, I'm not going to tell you that's a stupid question, but what do you want me to do here? Who has the best barbecue? For example, Memphis, St. Louis, Kansas City, or any other region. The Carolinas, I love vinegar based. That's my shit.

Matthew asked, when will a movie be in the mix for the well-read boys? Well, fuck. We're having enough trouble getting the goddamn television show going. It's in, you know, as we call production hell. We're working on it. We're really excited about what we're doing, but as far as a movie being the makes, I think you've got to get a television show first, probably, that's my answer. Cheeziest tourist trap you've seen traveling the country and the cheesiest one that I have

local or localish. The cheesiest one locally is Ruby Falls and Rock City, probably. The treasiest tourist trap that I've seen traveling the country, it doesn't get much cheesier than Times Square in New York, and I'm not trying to disparage the good people of New York, but Jesus Christ, if you're ever in New York, If you're ever in New York, don't fucking go there. Don't even do the whole like, well, you gotta go. You don't.

You really don't. What would current comic show say to baby comic Cho if he had the chance? That's a really good question. There's so many things that I look back on knowing that I did them and I'm like, I just cringe. I'm like, oh, God, dude, what the fuck were you thinking? But at the same time, you know, every single thing that I did got me to where. I am right now and I really, really, really, really love where I am now. There's certain things I could have done when I was starting out that maybe I'd be further along now, but I don't know, like,

maybe I wouldn't be with Drew and Trey. Maybe I wouldn't be on this particular tour. Maybe I wouldn't have this podcast. So like, I'm going to, I wouldn't tell him shit because then he would do things differently and he wouldn't have enjoyed the ride that he was on and he's had a pretty good goddamn ride. Is a hot dog a sandwich? Fuck no. It is a hot dog. My worst, job before stand up. Woo, Lord, I had several of them. Let's see. Worst job before stand up.

I worked retail a bunch, and I'm not going to disparage any individual company. But retail in general was a very soul-sucking experience, because you deal with people much in the same way that you deal with them when you're a server. And I know that servers, you know, like in retail, I made more money per hour than a server did, but there's no tips in retail. So, like, I would have to bust my ass. I won't say ass hard because, like, you know, there's only so many jeans I can bring a motherfucker and, like, maybe taking – I know taking people words is probably harder. But, like, at least there is the incentive in when you're working at a restaurant and you're serving that, like, hey, I might get a high roller and I might get a good tip.

If I work eight hours at fucking, you know, Hibbitt Sports or Eddie Bauer, that's, you know, I'm making $72 or whatever the fuck. Like, it doesn't matter how many times – how many people. I help out like, ooh, they'll, they'll mention me and I'll, my items per, what was it, IPS, items per sale will go up and my manager will like give me, I'll get fucking employee the month. And that means I get $10 store credit to buy some fucking shorts that they make me wear. Fuck that shit. So anything in retail definitely did not hit for me. I used to also, another thing that didn't hit for me because it didn't pay shit and it was

very degrading. I used to go pick up piss test from. it sucked because a lot of them were from my buddies people would take drug tests for companies and then I would go pick up the drug test and take them to be evaluated or whatever and like it was super hot in my car at that time I didn't have any air conditioner

and you could still smell the pee outside of the cups and stuff like that and on more than one occasion pee leaked out and got in my goddamn car just like random fucking drug-laced piss so like that didn't hit okay Chris Kelly says all right show

DX, NWO, Four Horseman, or the Heart Foundation. Well, okay. That actually, that's a very difficult question because it's going to be impossible for me not to go with personal bias on this. Because I think most people, like as far as technicians go, most people are going to tell you that it's probably the Heart Foundation. Historically, most people would go with like, well, you can't go against the fucking four horsemen. But like, in my childhood, the two that were the most important to me were definitely, Degeneration X and NWO for several different reasons. NWO was huge because it was in the WCW, which is like,

I won't say that I wasn't allowed to, I wasn't not allowed to watch WWE, but I definitely was encouraged more by my parents to watch WCW because at the time it was the more family-friendly product that they were putting out. And DGeneration X was like obviously the reason that a lot of people didn't want their kids watching fucking WWE because they were telling everybody to suck their dick and shit like that. but like, you know, DX and NWO as a kid, those are the ones that meant absolutely the most to me, and I think still very much, I mean, they all hold up, but like, it's impossible for me to pick anything. I guess if I have to pick between DGeneration X and NWO, oh, God damn it, please don't make me do that.

It's Degeneration X because, I mean, if only for the fact that Suckett was the greatest thing to say when I was a kid, and also one of my favorite wrestlers of all time, Sean Michaels, was in that faction. Okay, now we're going to jump over to Facebook for some of the questions. Ryan Shipley, what's up, dog, my boy. Ryan Shipley asked, will you come on my podcast? Fucking, of course I will. By the way, anybody out there listening,

if you've got a podcast and I can call in and I have the time during the day, I'll absolutely come on your podcast. You can ask Megan from the Supernatural Fan Girl podcast. I don't know shit about Supernatural, but I came on there because I enjoy doing it. Chelsea Mackey Moore asked, oh, this isn't a question. She said, after the fart shower thing, I think we have all the info we need on you.

Ain't that just the goddamn truth? Sarah Buller asked, if you had the opportunity to learn a musical instrument, what would you play? And why? Well, I've had a guitar sitting in front of me for the better part of 10 years. My dad played guitar,

and I always wanted to learn how to play guitar, and the problem with me in guitar, It's a mental block at this point. When I was, I got a guitar when I was like 15, and then I immediately started writing jokes and going to clubs and telling jokes and learning the craft of stand-up. And always in my mind, I was like, why don't have time for this?

Because I'm going to be a famous stand-up comedian. I've got to work on these jokes. And like, that's one thing I'd go back to, that's something that older comic show would go back and tell younger comic show. Hey, man, you're not getting up as much as you think you are. You absolutely have time to learn the goddamn guitar. Matter of fact, you could probably put it in your fucking act.

And now at this point, you know, I'm older, I'm super busy all the time, and it just feels like, it does still feel like every moment that I could be learning guitar. I also could be writing a sketch or watching stand-up or writing jokes or whatever. But it's definitely guitar because my dad was a really good guitarist, and I always enjoyed watching him play, and I think it would probably mean a lot to meet him if I learned. Also, I got to watch Chris Tilly and hang out with the dudes of the Punch. brothers at the um tell you ride bluegrass festival in tell you ride colorado and i watched him wear a mandolin down and i and as i was seeing him do that i thought god damn i'd really love to

know how to play that angelic uh instrument so mandolin and guitar something with strings just because maybe it would make me look cooler than i uh actually am because i'm not cool i do not hit did i like the movie logan lucky yes i did like the movie logan lucky i was not um i can't remember the dudes fuck why can't i remember the dude's name he played He plays Kyle O'Rinn. I wasn't the biggest fan of his southern accent, but, you know, that's just my opinion. But I did enjoy the movie. I understand a lot of people, well, I mean, it was critically acclaimed, so several people did.

But there was a lot of people I know that didn't, but no, I enjoyed it. I like a good caper. What sneakers will Pat Paul Batman wear while serving up his brand of sweet justice? Well, my favorite sneakers of all time are ranked in order. The Jordan ones and the Jordan 3. assume that I will still like those when I'm an 85-year-old cocaine-addled papal beating the shit out of people and shooting them in the head with a cow gun. Make sense to me. Do you miss Mama's family as much as I do? Bonus questions. What did you think of the Deadwood movie? I

thought it was fire. First off, I do miss Mama's family. I miss anything that branched off of the Carol Burnett show. Carol Burnett is just one of the funniest goddamn people ever, and Harvey Corman and Tim Conway and all those people. It was just tremendous. And yeah, no, I miss Mama's family a lot. The reboot would be great, but I don't know if you can touch that. Bonus question, what did you think of the Deadwood movie? Here's a admission. I still haven't seen it.

And the reason I haven't seen it is because I still have five episodes left in the series. And the reason that I didn't finish the series was so when I started the series, I didn't realize that they had canceled it. And then as I was watching it, you know, I was reading some shit. And I was like, oh, no, this shit doesn't come on anymore. fuck and then I got to be buddies with Earl and I was like well I can't I couldn't bring myself to finish it because then I knew it was over and I wanted to savor some of it then when I heard they were working on the movie I was like cool I'm going to watch the last five episodes on the lead

up to the movie and that way it'll hit harder for me and then I got busy and I didn't do it so I'm very sorry and Earl if you're listening to this I'm fucking super sorry but you know what I'm going to rectify that like within the next week I'm going to try I'll just watch an episode a night and then I'll see the movie but that's a Glaring omission on my part. Do you struggle listening to Hank Williams, Jr., as much as I do? As Ted Johnson. I mean, so many of his songs are timeless classics, but I can't stomach his political views in the least.

I mean, here's the way I say that. All the Hank Williams Jr. songs that I like, I fucking like. I could give a shit what his political views are. I mean, that's not, I'm not saying I could give a shit. But I don't know what, like, what do you expect the dude that's saying those goddamn songs for the most part to think and think. feel like, yeah, I'm not shocked that Hank Williams Jr. isn't a left-leaning liberal. Now, he's had some new songs that, like, you know, pretty plainly express his views in a pretty shitty, and frankly, just not a very good songwriter manner.

And no, those don't hit for me, but like, man, I mean, I named earlier in, in this, one of the movies I'd take to my deserted island was Midnight in Paris. I mean, look, it's It's definitely It's become harder and harder And you probably can't deny The fucking Woody Allen allegations At the time, I'd really hadn't

When that movie came out I sincerely thought it was It was just one thing And I was like, well, maybe that's just one of them like What's his face? What's that goddamn actor That they said put a gerbil up his ass? It doesn't matter.

That's sincerely like what my dumb brain thought about that. I was like, all that's just one of them things they say in Hollywood. But now it's like, you know, I probably won't support Woody on that much anymore because it's pretty hard to deny that bullshit. But like, I'd seen that before. And, I mean, the movie still hits for me. Like, I can separate the two things because, I mean, it's just, to me, it's just undeniable.

Aaron asked a question, how about them dogs? How about them, baby skit? Um, Heather Ross asked, would you be willing to come read some of your dads or your short stories to my middle school class of behaviorally exceptional students. I know you said you fantasize about school shit and all, and it's in Asheville, and at the same school that I, an American Idol, Caleb Johnson, graduated from.

Absolutely, Heather. Next time we're in Asheville, send me a message or send my manager a message, Nat at arsonhouse.com, and I will be happy to come read short stories at your middle school of behaviorally exceptional students. I will also read stories to your behaviorally shitty students, if they'll show up too, because that's more my speed, but whatever.

Who was the last celebrity you had a sexual dream about? Helen Marin, like two nights ago. Michael David Miller. Hey, what's up, Michael David Miller, Jr., Tennessee in the house? Have them dogs always been hell? Yes, in fact, they have always been hell. What happened to the old jingle at the end talking about we're the liberal rednecks, we like cornbread and butt sex?

Always wanted a revamped version of that with like, Wheeler Walker or some shit. Well, Jeremy, I think you remember it wrong. That was actually never the old jingle at the end. That was a jingle that we thought about doing at the end, and we sang maybe a couple times during the podcast. But the jingle that has always been at the end of our shows has been, thank you all for listening to The Well Red Show.

We love to stick around longer, but we got to go. Tune in next week if you got nothing to do. Thank you. God bless you. Good night and skew. it will remain until I come up with something better. Ian, my buddy, Ian, asked me a very hard question that's going to be very difficult to answer off the top of my head. What do you consider the five most important albums slash records to come out of the South?

I'm going to fuck this up because, I mean, I'd have to think on that for a minute, and I don't want to just sit here with dead with radio silence. I'm just going to say, Southern Rock Opera, Drive-by-Trucker, Stankonia, Outcast. um southeastern jason isbel uh pronounced leonard scannard by leonard scannard and oh dear god um uh wildflowers by tom petty because that counts because he's from florida um okay generally speaking conservatism counterbalances liberalism and provides a balance having said that every great step forward in this country that i can think of has come despite the efforts of conservatives uh i only know that of a select few local slash regional examples of when conservatives have provided needed balance

to liberalism. Do you know of any examples of either where liberal lawmakers have gone too far or when conservatives have provided a needed check? I'm certain there are. None come to the top of my mind. And again, I don't want radio silence here. So Chris, great question. And I will, you know what? Chris, if you're listening, send that to me in a private message. And I'm going to pose that to the fellers when we get back together and do our three-man podcast. because that's a good question. I don't want to skim over it, but that's not something that I have at the top of my head.

I should have fucking vetted these questions. I'm an idiot, though. Favorite way to cook green food? Any green. What's your favorite? Collards with fat back in a pot, bold like a motherfucker. When are you going to make a movie with the well-read guys?

Answered that on Twitter. It's difficult. Sorry. Wish we could. Wish we could tomorrow. We have a couple scripts. I think they hit. Let's see here.

Whalen asked, oh, hello, Rick. If your butthole could be made out of any specific kind of processed meat, what would it be? And could you resist eating it? Bologna and no. Mike asked, I have waited and waited in the third stall at Chili's, yet you have never showed up. Why? That is referring to a bit I did on our album, well-read live from Lexington, where I offered to suck every man's dick in a Chili's bathroom.

My mama is proud of me, just in case you were wondering. Shadow asked, do you enjoy NASCAR and do you think it is still as important to the identity of the South? Moonshine History aside as it was in the mid-70s through the 90s. And if it is, and if it is, can it be saved? I haven't watched NASCAR in a very long time. It used to hit for me when I was a kid. I'll never forget where I was from Dale Earnhardt died. I was at a Mexican restaurant.

And it's like, it was like a flashbulb memory. Haven't watched it pretty much. That was like the era I stopped watching pretty much. I just, I don't know. I guess I used to watch with my buddy Jared and his dad, and I think that, like, Dale Earnhardt's death still pretty much affects him to this day as it does a lot of people. And I just kind of got out of it.

I was always a Jeff Gordon guy. No, I don't think that it is as important to the identity of the South as it was in the 70s through 90s. It's just ain't. I mean, no, it probably can't be saved. I think that any sport that is that dangerous football included, those those type of things are in my opinion are only going to get left behind there's no really revamping that just because i think we as a society have probably moved on um shannon dodds anderson asked uh will you sing for me uh sure i'll sing for you i don't know what uh what i don't know what song you would have me sing but uh we'll go with uh we'll go with the old randy newman class You got a Freddee be.

You got a Freddibbe. Where the road looks. Rough ahead and your boughs and miles from your dice woman. You just remember what your old pal said. Shannon, you got a friend and be. There you go, Shannon. Fireflyer, lighten bug, lighten bug, not even a goddamn question. When talking about the South, asked Meredith.

When talking about the South with someone making negative blanket statements, Do you ever get talked into a corner and find yourself accidentally defending something you don't agree with? I know I haven't. It drives me crazy. I don't have a good example for you, Meredith. But in a short answer, fuck yeah, girlfriend, you ain't a line. Abby asked, how do we combat Southern America gun culture? That's a million-dollar question. It's flattering that you asked me that, thinking that I may in any way have an answer. I don't. I really don't.

I don't, and I don't have enough time to get into. I don't. I fucking don't. Listen to the podcast we put out today. The last 15 minutes sort of sums up how I feel about that. What is your most important ballot issue when deciding on a presidential candidate? It used to be marijuana, but the only reason, I know that marijuana is not the most important thing, but the reason that I always used marijuana as as that, I guess the tent pole of what I wanted somebody. Because I felt like if you were against marijuana,

you're a fucking idiot and I couldn't trust any other goddamn thing that you did. Now it's probably health care. It'll be health care and gun reform going forward. Probably without a doubt. Those are the two things. And by the way, I mean, well, I say neither one of affect me. gun control certainly affects me because at any moment so I could blast through my, you know,

fucking movie theater that I'm at. That happens. But like, I've got good health care. I'm in the guild, so I'm not hurting in that department, but I know so many people that are. And it's ridiculous. So health care and gun control. And, well, I mean, LGBTQ rights, but, like, one good thing about voting Democrat is, like,

you know, like with marijuana and LGBTQ rights, it feels like now it kind of comes with. it like those are some of the issues that like we've all decided like yeah like even your even your most middle ground democrat like joe biden even your most centrist dude is still going to be with you on LGBTQ rights like it feels like i could be fucking off base but like that one seems to be like grandfathered in now so i you know i'll go with those um why do you guys use literally so much uh i didn't know that we did uh but i'm certain that we do and I'm certain that it's never

I'm sure that a lot of times we mean figuratively if I had to guess. Last question before I get out of here from my good buddy, J.C. Ratliff, if you could get anyone to pee on you, who would it be and why? Well, J.C., I would have it be you, my friend, because I haven't seen you in a very long time, go Colts.

Anyways, guys, thank you for hanging out with me on this bonus episode. Q&A. with the show. Go to well-readcomedy.com. E-E-L-L-R-E-D, comedy.com, spelled just like the podcast. That's also where you can grab the podcast. Now, you can get it at our website, well-read comedy.com. You can go all the way back in the archives to when this thing started, and we had shitty, shitty audio.

Anyways, come see us on the road. We're going to be in Little Rock, Arkansas. This weekend, then we're on to Chicago and Iowa City, and then, as you know, well-read Christmas shows in Nashville at Zanis. I love you guys very much, and you're fucking welcome for this bonus episode. I'm kidding. Please love me. Please keep loving me.