wellRED podcast - BONUS EPISODE: Mr. and Mrs. CHO watch Tombstone

Episode Date: May 30, 2019

Mr. and Mrs. CHO attempt to do a watch along to the classic movie Tombstone only to find out 20 mins in that Mrs. CHO has somehow never seen Tombstone

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion. Because used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie. I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now. Skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people. People across the ske universe, I should say. Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year?

Do you even know? Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery? Getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low main? Because that's a thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better. And it's called Rocket.

money. Rocket money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket money shows all your expenses in one place, including subscriptions you already forgot about. If you see a subscription, you don't want any more. Rocket money will help you cancel it. Their dashboard lays out your whole financial picture, including the due dates for all your bills and the pay days. In a way that's easier for you to digest, you can even automatically create custom budgets based on your past spending. Rocket money's 5 million members

have saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscription with members saving up to $740 a year when they use all of the apps. Premium features. I used Rocket Money and realized that I had apparently been paying for two different language learning services

that I just wasn't using. So I was probably like, I should know Spanish. I'll learn Spanish. And I've just been paying to learn Spanish without practicing any Spanish for, you know, pertinent two years now or something like that. Also, a fun one, I'd said it before, but I had a, I got an app, lovely little app where you could, you know, put your friends' faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got, I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two, like,

twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies. You know, those weren't a little like the Q-ball-looking twin fellas. Yeah. So that was money. What was that a reply gift for just when I did something stupid? Something fat and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first, but then I quit using it and was still paying for it and forgotten.

If it wasn't for Rocket Money, I never would have even figured it out. So shout out to them. They help. If you're money dumb like me, Rocket Money can help. So cancel your unwanted subscriptions or reach your financial goals faster with RocketMoney. Go to RocketMoney. com slash well-read today. that's rocketmoney.com

slash wellr-reed rocketmoney.com slash well-read and we thank them for sponsoring this episode of the podcast. They're the Hey, well-red listeners. Here is a bonus episode.

Here is what me and Mrs. Cho attempted to do vis-a-vis the tombstone watch-along. It lasted 19 minutes. I got frustrated and then we fucked off and drank until we came to New York.

York and recorded the podcast episode that we put out today. So I hope you enjoy this bonus content that I'm putting out just so you know, I wasn't bullshitting. We really did try. We just failed. You have anything to say, Mrs. Cho? It's all my fault. Yeah, that's true.

All right. Love y'all. Scoot. What is going on, everybody? Well-readcom. W-E-L-R-E-D. Comedy.com. That is where you can find out our 2019 tour dates.

coming to a city near you this weekend. If you're listening to this on Wednesday, June, what day? What day is tomorrow? The 30th? Okay. If you're listening to it on Wednesday, June. No, 29th tomorrow by the 29th. Yeah.

We will be in Carolines this weekend in New York City. Then on Sunday, we will be at the Stress Factory in New Brunswick, New Jersey. And then after that, I'm a little, you'll have to go to the website, well-ready comedy.com. I know we're going to Huntsville and Birmingham, and we're going to Asheville, North Carolina. We're also going to Austin, Texas, San Antonio, Texas, Dallas, Texas, Houston, Texas. We've got dates in Michigan. We've got dates in Missouri. We've got dates in all over the place.

Well-read comedy.com. Go there. You can grab sweet merch like our book, The Liberal Redneck Manifesto, Dragon Dixie out of the dark. And also, our brand-new album, Well-Red Live. from Lexington, which debuted on the Billboard charts at number two. Did that make you proud? Very?

Yeah. You look proud. Turn your fucking phone off. This is a goddamn professional podcast. I don't want to hear that beeping bullshit. Silence it. What are you fucking 48-year-old woman? I don't do these things, so I don't know.

I know, but like, why is your phone on ever anyway? I don't know. It's just an alarm and alert. That was a text from a man. It was a Snapchat From a man Doughty man Anyways you all have ascertained

Mrs. Cho is on here with me My lovely wife Amber Who will be in New York With us this weekend And New Jersey Because on Sunday in New Jersey What are we doing? What are we doing?

What do you really don't What do you mean? It's our anniversary Yeah we're celebrating our goddamn anniversary I'm not supposed to be the first one to forget I didn't forget I was testing you Well, I knew that's why I was goading you

into the question. Anyways, God, all right, this is going to be a fun episode. Go to well-readcomby.com, grab our album, grab our book, subscribe to the newsletter so that you can see where we're going to be, even before I know, because as my wife sitting here will tell you, I am a dumb,

fat, bald, piece of shit. So, anyways, while this episode is going to be a little bit different, all the boys, Drew is actually already in New York, and Trey is in Bumblefuck, Tennessee with his wife's family, and he has absolutely no service whatsoever. So we couldn't do even a remote podcast. We couldn't like do call-ins or anything.

So I was like, fuck it, I got it, guys. So me and the wife are sitting here. She's packing and getting our stuff ready to go to New York. And we thought we'd do something completely different, which is a watch-along. We have just lined the tables and everything in here with beer, and we're going to throw on Tombstone and I think the best way to experience this would be if you can listen to this podcast while you're at home and throw on Tombstone with us, we're going to be providing live commentary throughout the entire film.

So without further ado, this is your key right here, everybody, to get near your TV, grab your remotes and go ahead and skew up Tombstone because I'm going to press play in three. And by the way, and you haven't, Amber, you haven't seen this movie in how long? But can we give a backstory to how like that? how kind of important this story is to her. Sure. Go ahead. Just go ahead.

You got the mic. Go ahead. Just kind of like, I don't know, just the crack house in those days. Talk about it. Talk about when the last time you saw Tombstone was. Of course I was seeing Tombstone a bigillion times. Yeah, I've seen Tombstone. This actually all stem from on Twitter right now there is like something going around

where people are like share your top five. the top not necessarily your top five favorite movies but the top five movies that you've seen the most and mine was i feel like yours would definitely be a tombstone blazing saddles gladiator friday and the departed i don't even have to i don't even have to look at twitter i think about it i know what i posted because those and like now granted uh a lot of those are some of my favorite movies of all time which is why i've seen them the most uh no maybe dumb and Dumber over Gladiator, I don't know. But like, they're just fucking, you know, super rewatchable movies. And Tombstone is a movie I've probably seen the most in my life because, as you said,

we used to watch it at the crack house. Now, describe the crack house. The crack house is not actually a crack house. But in our younger days, I was still in high school. You were freshly out of high school? Yeah, I was 19 years old. Like your first summer out of high school? Yeah, first or second. And it actually was just a very run-down piece of shit house. It was at the end of my parents' road. So me and your sister would sneak out of my parents' house and walk down the street to the crack house. And get drunk, play beer pong, drink lots of Yeager because that was pretty much my...

And just bone all the dudes. Not all the dudes. Just anyone who wasn't me. Yeah, and I mean that was it. We had frozen bras and all kinds of crazy shit went down at that house. Frozen brawes. Frozen bras. I feel like.

Oh, you're talking about the time that. Wasn't it? No, no. What happened was so Bear had that mini college fridge in his room and we had like we were stuck. We couldn't use the other fridge because it stank so much. Remember like anybody. Because it was a piece of shit of fridge. Anybody that ever went to open the fridge wrote,

No, because if you opened it, the whole fucking house would stink for like a week. So we had that little college fridge that Bear had in his room. But we had so much beer shoved in it that it wouldn't stay shut. And so it wasn't staying cold. And we were like, we got to fucking figure this shit out. So, like, Bear's girlfriend, Haley, who basically lived with us, she was gone. And I was, we were just racking our brains. And I was like, oh, shit.

And I looked in. Haley had one of them bras that's like, it has no straps on it. But, like, it's got sticky cups on. it so they just like sticks to your boobs so i put one on the top of the fridge and then stretched the bra out to the door of the fridge and i made it a handle genius yeah and it and it held it shut and she came up right about that yeah and she came home fucking like what the fuck who took my this a 75 fucking dollar bra and like that never crossed my mind i was like oh shit that i didn't cost money so yeah we yeah we had bras holding fridges together and we had and we didn't

have cable nor could we afford it even at all. There was like a three movie rotation. Yeah and this is before Netflix too. Nobody could even just have it on their phone and like stream it to the TV. So there was, it was really a two movie rotation and it was Tombstone and Blazing Saddles. Yeah. And we watched both of those movies every day.

You could show up at any time of the day and one of those movies would be on. And if those movies weren't on, do you remember what music was on? Lord, I don't even know. It was, I had that Jimmy Buffett box set. Yeah. It was, bars, beach. as boats and ballads, and we just had that playing on a loop. And then when we turned that off, it was time to watch Tombstone.

It was very rare, though, that people were even chilling. It was like you could show up at any time. Oh, yeah. And something was going on. Yeah, no, the movie was just kind of on in the background. Like, until we all got super fucked up and then we'd be like, all right, let's turn on Tombstone or Blazing Saddles. But those were the days.

Yeah, we were at 19. That was it. That was my first experience, I guess, but Tombstone. But I never even watched it fully all the way through. It was only like those moments I would show up at that house. Oh, so you still... Because I was like 16 at the time. You still...

Like, I wasn't even out of high school. Like, I was... You still haven't really seen this movie all the way through? Not all the way through. No, I don't think so. Oh, well, I should have known that before we got married. It's just kind of like a... I don't know, I guess halfway through.

We were like bits and pieces. Okay. Because we'd watch it and then we would just start a game of the line. Well, I guess you're probably going to be... Yeah, that's true. I guess you're probably going to have a lot of questions to ask me. throughout this. Well, I already ask you a lot of questions when we'll watch shit, so I feel like it's

going to be there. You definitely are that person. I am that person, but I only do it to you. I don't just... That's true. When we're watching something that I've seen before, I kind of, and you haven't, I kind of get it, but like you all... Sometimes I think I do it just to annoy you.

Well, because my thing is I'm just like, hey, you know, if you just shut the fuck up, you'll figure, like, I, when the first time I saw this movie, I didn't know a goddamn thing about it. That's how seeing a movie works. Yeah, but I like people to just tell me how it is. That don't hit, though. I mean, I know that don't hit, but like, I don't know. I just...

Sometimes we'll be watching a movie. We'll both be watching a movie that neither one of us have seen, and you'll ask me something. I'm like... I expect you to already know the answer. Yeah, no, I'm here. But you look shit up all the time, so I feel like you probably already know things. I don't look up shit before I see a movie.

I don't want a fucking spoilers. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I guess you just probably know it. because I've been paying attention the whole fucking movie that's really what it is no you don't if you paid attention it depends if I don't it literally doesn't it literally doesn't depend because you wouldn't have to ask me

who is that 35 minutes into the movie I'm like oh the protagonist that's Jason Bourne he's been here the whole fucking time I can't help that I can't focus yes you can't put your phone down I do not have my phone up when I'm watching a movie I'm interested in then you've never never been interested in one goddamn movie I've ever seen.

You're 100% making that up. Okay. Would you like to start this movie? Start it? Where you can't use your phone because you have a microphone. Don't do that. You know that you do. No.

I do it if I'm not interested in the movie. But then you'll still ask me shit. Either don't be interested. But that's what I'm saying. I'm like I still just. If you're not interested, let me fucking watch it. I just want to answer my questions. But when, but the thing is the time it takes me to answer your question, I've then

missed a thing. for myself. Like me as a, is the fucking washing and dryer or is that a rat? That's a dryer. Okay. Me, when I'm watching it and I have to take a break to answer something for you

that happened 30 minutes before, I then miss a crucial plot point and now I don't fucking know and now I'm punished because you can't watch a fucking movie. Your mic is very dirty. That's wine. It's covered in wine

and also my ass because I fart into it from time of it. It's not. It's not. Really fucking. gross looking. It's covered in wine because... It looks like you murdered someone with a mic. I wish.

I mean, I'm surprised you haven't. Me and Drew have gotten pretty close. I'm surprised it wasn't Drew that you murdered. We've gotten pretty fucking close. Well, all right, we've been going for a while here. I guess we need to start this movie. So if you're out there and you want to watch along, I assure you,

the commentary and the questions Amber asked will be probably be enough. You probably don't have to watch this along with us. But I would love you too. So if you're out there, we're going to hit play in three, two, one, and here we go. All right, so we've got the credits coming up. I believe this, what is this, Touchstone? It's the stinks. Hollywood Pictures.

Yeah. I don't remember being Hollywood Pictures, though. Oh, from the movie that you've barely seen just at the Crack House. This does look like every VHS. This is my entire childhood. Yeah, this is pretty rad. I pointed to turn this down so you can't pick up. it up in the microphone and then I get sued for some.

I don't know about synergy. I've never seen that before. That wasn't even spelled the way that... All right. I've seen probably this intro at 85 times. Yeah. And this intro actually, I don't remember what movie it's from, but it... There's some old Western from like the 1930s or 40s that they just took this footage

from, I know here in a minute when the dude, the old cowboy, like, shoots the fucking gun at the... All right, so that's White Earp. And that's Doc Holliday. Okay. And that is the Oriental. There's Doc Holliday walking through, looking all dapper as a motherfucker. So, there's the actual clips from the movie. Well, no, that was some, like, they used those clips of White Earp and Doc Holliday, but, like, other than that, no, this.

right here is like I'm pretty sure like I said old footage from like a western movie from the 30s and 40s. Mm. Cowboys. Right here. Boom. And here we go baby. The Cowboys are riding down to Mexico to fuck up a Mexican wedding and this movie's

about to hit like a motherfucker. Yeah, I feel like I've seen the intro like a bajillion times. I'm certain that you have because we played it and started it like a bazillion times at the I guess. What's that one movie with Johnny Depp where he's, um, like, strung out on stuff?

Blow? No, not blow. What? He's the writer. Oh, Fear and Loathing? Yeah, I started that like a million times. And you've never seen it though? No, I have now, but it took me like 30 times actually. He plays Hunter S. Thompson. Yes. Hunter S. Thompson? Yes, yes. Okay. That's right. So there is Thomas Hayden. church playing a, I believe in this movie he plays a like

fictionalized version of Billy the Kid, I believe is the deal. So like where this was a beer? They're in Mexico. Okay. Because Tombstone Arizona is just right across the board. Well, I mean, they never said, they could just be having a Mexican wedding in Arizona, but I just

assume they're, you know, they're in Mexico. And I believe the deal is this whole boy right here. Either owed them some money or he got, you know, these are the cowboys. Oh, no, it is. He killed two cowboys. That's what it is. Yeah, they got that guy?

The guy in the red, the mango. Oh, no, no. The guy in the red, that's Curly Bill Brosis. He's the founder of the feast, as he's about to say. The Popeye's family feast. Why has everybody suddenly family with Popeyes hits the table? Feed all those cousins with six pieces of our boldly seasoned signature chicken. Two famous chicken sandwiches, two large mouth-watering sides, and four flaky biscuits.

That's enough for cousin co-worker, cousin roommate, cousin neighbor, and all his billion cousin kids. You've got all the cousins coming. Even the ones who aren't really your cousins. All for $2.99. Love that chicken from Popeye. Limited time to participate in U.S. restaurants. Prices may vary additional terms apply. So, and here they go. Shoot out.

They killed two cowboys. I guess the Mexican feller that's getting married. They killed a bride? Huh? Does the bride die? They kill fucking everybody, yeah. They're murdering everyone. I'm pretty sure.

Actually, no, they don't kill her yet. They definitely, you know how they do in these movies. They hold her like for kind of ransom? No, they take her off and... Raper and shit. I mean, yeah, you know how this bullshit goes. So there's the... There's the priest.

And that's Powers Booth. He just passed away, I think, last year. He's in Deadwood and whatnot. Well, that seems. about right. And there of course is Johnny Ringo. Oh wait. Is that the husband? That she's just married? Yeah. He's still alive? Yeah. They ain't killed him yet.

Oh my god. That mustache! Yeah. Did you see that mustache? Yeah, it's like split in the middle. He looks just like... It's not even like a muscle. It's like three hairs on on each side. Yeah, it's wild. He looks just like Eddie Guerrero, in my opinion. Well, that's disturbing. And right in the fucking knee. That's old boy from, uh, uh, uh, uh,

Sex in the City? Is that a different sex in the city? Yes. Yeah, what's his name? Not Mr. Big. Like, Aaron or shit. He was like an old boy name. He was also in my big fat Greek wedding.

He's the... He has like a good old boy name, I feel like. I don't remember what it is. So he just said, my name's Curly Bill Brosus. I'm the founder of the feast. Next time we come around, you better give us what we want. He's just letting them know, like they're the most badass some bitches around. I can't move past that mustache.

Yeah, it's pretty bad. I can't, I literally can't move past him. And there's Johnny Ringo explaining that he don't know motherfucking Spanish. Yeah, that was, that's pretty rough right out the gate. Just murder the husband right in front of the new bride and then take her off in the back. They're just going to take her in right high. Yeah, it don't hit. There's Michael Rooker.

Yeah. Isn't that, he's the guy from Walking Dead. Guardians of the Galaxy and Walking Dead. Yeah, he played Merle and Walking... Was it Merle? Yeah. He plays Merle and Walking Dead. He's the...

He's the blue dude and Guardians of the Galaxy. Yeah, he is. Look at that fucking feast. Fuck, yeah. I guess maybe I've seen less of this than what I thought. Yeah, I mean, that makes sense. He just shot the preacher right in the head. Well, see, now I'm kind of upset.

I mean, don't even wrong, we've committed to doing this, and we're going to do this watch along. But, like, now that you haven't seen it, I'm sort of upset because you're not going to be able to see it good now. Yeah. I mean, just... Because I'm going to be bullshit in the whole time. I mean, like I said, I've seen bits and pieces of it. Well, this kind of don't hit for me, because I kind of want you to watch this fucking movie and then us do this.

I know. I guess I thought I've seen all of it, but I haven't. Okay, well, this is hilariously, Raven, but we really, I mean, I don't feel like we can do this if you haven't seen the goddamn movie. movie. Yeah, I guess I fucked that up without fucking it up. I can't believe it, but yeah, you did. So I guess we're just going to continue chatting here.

I've ruined it somehow. I'm sorry. Somehow. Oh, somehow. I can't believe. That's not my fault. I thought I've seen it. Don't look at me like that. We can't, we can't do this. There's, there's literally nothing to do. Like, I'm not going to make you just sit here and talk to me for another 40 minutes.

Okay. It's not your fault, but I thought you'd seen the movie, and this doesn't work if you haven't seen the movie. And I just, I don't have a podcast now. So it's whatever. Come and sit by my side if you love me. Do not hasten to bid me a dew. Just remember the Red River Valley. And the cowboy that's love.

you so true