wellRED podcast - BUBBA SHOT THE PODCAST - "Sold" by John Michael Montgomery

Episode Date: October 7, 2021

Today on Bubba we discuss the quirky, auction inspired, almost rap like country song "Sold (Grundy County Auction)" by John Michael Montgomery. The Amish, Rodeo Dancin', and Japanese Businessmen. We got it all. 

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion, because you used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

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If you're money dumb like me, Rocket Money can help. So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney. dot com slash well read today that's rocket money.com slash well r e d rocketmoney.com slash well read and we thank them for sponsoring this episode of the podcast. They're the. The town I grew up in, Sunbrite Tennessee, is currently going through a bit of a real estate

renaissance. On Red Hill Road alone, right beside my house, a road where I got into my first wreck, and got my first blowjob. There are not one but two eco-friendly type cults going on, at least three Amish families, and a fancy guy who everyone says used to be in the CIA, because he's got all these cameras and big guns and wild shit on his property, but I just think he's a prepper. Now, why am I talking about all this?

It's kind of a meandering point, but the Amish themselves, who I just mentioned, are sort of taken over my area. Deer Lodge, a town over, is run them up with them. They're buying up land. then and all the Yankees from Minnesota and elsewhere who are coming down because of politics and for cheap land are driving up the prices. It's kind of wild, especially when all these old boy farmers who ain't never had a pot to piss in but have the deed to their daddy's land are starting to realize what they can get for some of that. Well, literally this week, a good friend of mine was telling me that his own papaw is selling off the back nine, as it were, is selling a piece of land at the family's own forever but no one really lives on.

and he's found himself in a bit of a bidding war. One of the folks bidding is the Amish church. The Amish people themselves don't own any land. They own it all together. It's kind of like socialism, but we don't call it that because they're white and they don't have guns. So we're not afraid of them. The other side that's really in this bidding war is a company that wants to start getting into the chicken farming business. According to my buddy, the company is from Japan.

The bidding war is between the Amish and Japanese businessman. Now, why would I be talking about the Amish and Japanese businessmen when we are discussing today on Bubba Shop the podcast, sold, or Grundy County Auction by John Michael Montgomery? Does the song sold somehow relate to the Amish or Japanese businessman? No, it does not. But the video, the 1995 video, video for sold Grundy County auction by John Michael Montgomery

absolutely has everything to do with the Amish and Japanese businessmen. So I'm going to ask you to pause right now. Go watch that video and join us this week on Bubba Shot the podcast. Welcome to Bubba Shot the podcast. Today we are doing the Grundy County Auction Incident. known as sold. First of all, boys, the stats. This particular song came out in May of 1995. It went to number one and was named the number one song in country music of Billboard for the entire year. It was on John Michael Montgomery's self-titled album, also released in 1995. Second single he put out, second number one hit, the biggest hit on the album. It was written by Richard Fagan and Rob Royer. We will get into both of them. They are both very interesting. Maybe not quite as a lot. interesting as our boy Dennis Lindy, but interesting nonetheless, gentlemen, what's up?

Hey, buddy. Does it? What are you doing, Trey? What are you twisting your mouth? You pulled the fishing line through your lip and then go, yeah. Yeah. You go right down the other one. Yeah.

I do remember that. That was a classic elementary school move right there. For you guys just listening, I was just making my lip hip. No, that helps. Yeah, this song rules. I know that normally we bring him in a little later, but the Indian outlaw is with us. Toshar.

Honestly, I forgot to take him out of the stream, but I was also like, yeah, yeah, at this point. It's not a surprise anymore. He's going to be on every episode. Well, as far as the show structure, I like the idea of him coming in and telling us why we don't hit. Yeah.

But I also want him here the whole time. So it's definitely a catch-22. What's up, too? What's up, man? I'm tired of time. Do you not hit? You've been on a plane to that? I'm not hitting.

I'm not in. I'm tired today. And I could have sworn we've done this song before. I haven't. I sent it. Yeah. A few, like a couple weeks ago, I sent a couple different songs to the group chat. It was like, I think we should do these.

Okay. And this one, I remember you saying, I just went and listened to it and whatever, whatever. So maybe you were, that's why you're thinking that we already covered it, but we hadn't actually covered it, but you have listened to it before. Yeah. I mean, I was watching, I was like, I've had these racist observations before. You're talking about the video specifically. Yeah, what racist observations could you possibly have about this? Well, let's get to that first.

Okay. Yeah, all right. Do you want to start with the lyrics or do you want to go in with the video right out of the top? Of course, if you're listening, listen to the song, watch the video. We cannot play it because we always get hit with the copyright issues but listen to the song and watch the video yourself right now

pause this and then come back. All right. Tush, you want to get on the video? Is that what I'm hearing? No, do the lyrics first. You're going to do the lyrics first? You sure? Yeah, I think right. Yeah. Well, I went down to the Grundy County auction

where I saw something I just had to have. My mind told me I should proceed with caution but my heart said go ahead and make a bit on that. Now that's the whole first verse right there. It's just, you know, one couplet. Short and sweet. It sets the scene. We know where we're at.

That's what I was about say, I didn't, we just realized them watching the video again just now because the video, they run it back and do the second half of the song over again in the video just to make it three and a half minutes long. And I never realized this whole song is only two and a half minutes long. Every verse is super short. It's mostly that big go hard chorus I got there. Well, the songwriter, as close as country got to rap back in the day. I was about, I don't remember if it was one of us, or I saw somebody else say, whatever, but I, yeah.

I thought that. We've talked, we've definitely talked about it before, but the idea that John Michael Montgomery is, as close as country should ever come to rap music by God. Because this was kind of his whole thing sort of was like. Bars. Yeah. Bars. It's about bars. Bars about bars.

The songwriter talked a little bit about all that stuff in an interview I just read. So let's, first of all, let's talk about the songwriters. The songwriters are Richard Fagan and Rob Royer. Now, Fagan was the main songwriter, and that's the first one I want to talk about. This guy's story is so funny and wild. He had a hit with Neil Diamond back in the late 70s. Then he reinvented himself in Nashville, like almost a decade later, had a lot of hits with John Michael Montgomery.

A guy who took him in and gave him a place to live when he was homeless, but trying to make it as a songwriter named Tom O'O. Oterray or O'Reary believed in him and brought him in. And his, their story ends like 32 years later. They get drunk, getting a fight. He stabs Tom, the sonrider, Mr. Fagan does, and takes it off, gets arrested for driving drunk. Okay. Yeah.

Confesses to what he did. They circle back. The old boy has died, but not from the stab wound. Tom has died. From a heart attack. Oh. And he doesn't get, and he doesn't get charged with murder. Nice.

Okay. What? I mean, clearly, I feel like being stabbed isn't good for your heart. Like, if you're in a tenuous situation with your heart, it feels like stab. With an underlying condition. Yeah, it's like, you know, it's like a really old person with a weak heart and somebody scares him real bad. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Just stops. Well, imagine if you stabbed them. Right. That's even worse. And it's still your fault for scaring them. Like, you shouldn't have done that. Right.

Well, when I first read it, I was like, oh, they got in a five. and then the guy died of a heart attack, but like three hours later. But then the more I read, it was like they buried the stabbing in the interview that I was reading. It was like, oh, yeah. And also when we fought, you know, the last thing, he said, the last thing I felt, he felt was my blade. And that haunts me. Have I told you? I bet.

You know how my dad said too hard. On account of you murdered him. That's why I, you probably weren't haunted. You murdered your best friend. He murdered with a knife. Family totally forgave him. Family loves him. Family told him.

This is what the family told him. Dad would want you to keep making songs. So write a song about this. You know, I guess like... Maybe he was a prick. Well, also, like, if it's two old boys from this time and, like... Right. They was boys for a long time and they both got drunk and, like, they probably...

One of them stabbed. They probably fought a lot, you know? And they both got drunk and one of them sort of stabbed him a little bit, you know? And then the other one died of a heart attack or whatever. Like, I can kind of see the family being like, it was on that time before somebody stabbed him and then his heart. heart exploded. Right.

I mean, this is, this is kind of different. You know my dad has a heart condition and he's had, I do, and he's had two heart attacks. My mom tries to scare him all the time now. He'll be like, God damn it,

one day. And it's like, you can tell her mind she's like, yep, and they can't get me for it neither. You know what I mean? So like, I get it.

Well, man, we just put some evidence out there. Well, anyway, he said about the song, he talked about the hook or the chorus specifically and what you guys were touching on.

I didn't mean to sidetrack us with the stabbing. There's a lot going on here on this episode today. That's part of it. But he pointed out that the hook, all right, now I've got to talk about the other songwriter because he had a conversation with the other songwriter about it. The other songwriter's name is Rob Royer. Rob Royer is one of the founding members of Bread,

the psychedelic rock band from 68, 69 era. He left the band, but he wrote some of their main hits. He left the band, but he wrote some of their main hits. band was replaced in 1971, then became, eventually he ends up in Nashville, reinvented himself, and worked with a lot of people that we know in terms of as a songwriter, but also was in a band called Dixie Radio that I'd never heard of, but had a few, not hits, but like, you know, open for some big people. Dixie Radio?

Dixie Radio, circa 1997, 1998. Yeah, I don't, I don't know. I mean, that's two decades later, which it kind of put me in the mind of Aaron wants his name from Stained. Lewis. Yeah, you know, you stopped making it in rock

so you just moved to Nashville. Like, well, I can do this. Yeah, except for he really is, though.

I mean, Rob Royer has a bunch of numbers of a stock rider. Like Dixie Radio didn't, right? No, Dixie radio didn't hit.

Ain't that the way? All the songs he wrote for other people. Mm-hmm. Hoody, very famous, famously did that. They did that.

They've gone country. Yeah. Look a damn roots. I mean, I would argue that Taylor Swift and Casey Musgraves did that without doing that. Like, were pop, kind of, but just knew.

Fuck all this transition to country. Put me on country radio right now. Right. Just put the song out on that. Who cares? Right. All right. Well, anyway, trying to get back to the structure of this song, which is what got me on all the songwriters.

So they write that hook. Let me read the hook first. Because we were talking about how short it is, so we got into the, because we were talking about the verses. Here's the very long compared to the verses course. And I said, hey, pretty lady, want you give me a sign? I give anything to make you mine on mine. I'll do your bidding and be at your beck and call.

Yeah, I've never seen anyone looking so fine. Man, I got to have her. She's a one of a kind. I'm going once, going twice. I'm sold to the lady in the second row. She's an eight. She's a nine. She's a ten.

I know. She's got ruby red lips, blood, hair, blue eyes, and I'm about to bid my heart goodbye. In writing the song, Fagan said, anybody would have ended it when they were structuring the song after I'm going once, going twice, I'm sold. That's the name of the song, it's what we're building to. It's the end of the event or whatever. The point they're making, the little play on words.

I'm sold on this lady. I'm at an auction, but I'm in love. And he said that he suggested the Royer that they keep going, and Royer was like, no, no. This is it, it's perfect, we're done. Then he says, Royer calls him drunk the next day and was like, I was fucking wrong. You were right. And he claims that Royer would do that to him every time they would write a song together.

He would be like, that's the worst idea I've ever heard. And then the next day he would come back and be like, that's the best idea I've ever heard. Anyway, I'm saying to say song structure-wise, that's why this course is so long. And that is very uncommon for this time period. The chorus is three or four times longer than each verse. Right. Whereas by definition, it's supposed to be the... opposite kind of.

I think that's kind of cool. The chorus makes it really feel like a rap song. Yeah. Like it's, I don't know what rap song. I can't think of it. And you're buying a woman. Yeah.

Well, I was, so earlier when we first thought, I was thinking, I knew we would get into that idea. It's like, he goes to an auction. He's like, her sure was a lot of meat on sale. Yeah. But the best meat was that bitch over there.

You know, whatever. But, I knew we'd get into all that, but it occurred to me when Drew was just going through the chorus. He, uh, it's him that gets sold. Of course. Right. You know what I mean? They're subverting expectations.

Of course they are. It's not the woman's been sold like me. He's selling his heart. He's selling his own heart. Right. Right. It's meat for meat. Meat for meat.

Yeah. But then he hauled at the end, I don't want to skip ahead. He hauls her heart away. And he literally has her in a truck in the video with cows in a car, a cow in a trailer. But she's in the front. She is in the front. Yeah.

All right. Well, we'll get in the video. Let me finish. Let's go to the house. Y'all get it. Yeah. Let's just finish it because it's short.

Let's just, so that's the chorus, first verse verse, second verse. Well, the auctioneer was going about a mile a minute. He was taking bids and calling them out loud. And I guess I was really getting in it

because I just shouted out above the crowd. And I said, Hey, pretty lady, and you guys just heard the chorus. The verse is just, just serve as a way to do the chorus again. Right. On the one hand.

The chorus does change a little bit. This time he talks about her long black dress. Yeah. I thought that was the last time. Oh, you're right. It is this time. There's only two, isn't there? Oh, you're right.

Corey, can you pull up the lyrics real quick? There's a very important reason that I want you to. Is that possible? Because you're going to finish it because I literally just shit my pants. I will be right back. I have died out of diarrhea all weekend. I just shit my pants and I have to go and I'll be back in a minute. at the second course we're really switching rolls here aren't we going once i'm going twice i'm sold to the lady in

the long black dress when she won my heart it was no contest with a ruby red lips blonde hair blue eyes and i'm about to bid my heart goodbye yeah yeah well we found love on the auction block and hauled her heart away now we still like to we still love to laugh about the way we met that day when i said hey pretty lady won't you give me a sign i'd give anything to make you mind on mine do your bidding and be at your back in cow oh i've never seen anyone looking so fine man i gotta have her she's a one of a kind i'm going once going twice i'm sold to the lady in the second row she's an eight she's a nine she's a ten i know she got ruby red lips bon hair blue eyes i'm about to bid my heart goodbye all right yeah we didn't have to look them up no also i think that right

there might be enough to go some trouble. We'll see. Right, because it's so accurate. Yeah, right. They're definitely going to flag. Wait, is that John Michael Montgomery? You guys hear that stirring ring? Can I tell you why I love you guys?

Drew shits his pants. Yeah. And you guys don't even make a big deal of it. Sure. Well, you know, we had some business to attend to it. Much like Drew did. Seeing it won too many times, Captain. Now, we should talk about Drew shitting his pants.

When he comes back, it's not, you know, like when he comes back, what's talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you ever shit your pants? Too sure? Sure. I say that. Sure. Right. I feel like Indians have to shit their pants a lot.

On account of the food. Yeah. Is that why? Yes. Although, like, you know, I'm used to it. I might say, it just makes us shit our pants. Yeah, right. I feel, yeah, I have a few times where I'm coming home and I just, it just, you know, if you made it out, a few, few brown turds made it

freedom. Yeah. Cross the plane. I'm certain that that's going to be the clip that gets picked for this podcast is me going. I bet Indian shit themselves a lot. And I'm like, oh, totally. Oh, here he is.

Nope. No, no. Well, Tuchar, we've discussed this on our other podcast. Do you consider it shitting yourself if it doesn't get in your underwear? Like if it stays between the cheeks? Yes. Yeah. Keeping it between the cheeks.

Keeping in between the cheek. We're on the keeping it became the tweaks. If it escapes the plane of the anus, it's you shit yourself. Yeah. The only questionable thing is a wet fart. It's a wet fart then. Yeah, but that's still shit. I've had, so here's the thing.

I've had diarrhea all weekend, but it's been over, I thought, since last night. So I trusted that part. It's never over. Right. So I trusted that fart. And by every definition of shitting your pants, I just shit my pants. Every point. It's not over.

It's never over. Give me something to drink. His ball sack is Mickey. Come on a rock. My bullsat looks like Mickey. Everybody's ball sack looks like Mickey. That's probably true. Man.

I was going to say my dick looks like Adrian. but my pubes are too light. Yeah. Light power. All right. Did you guys make any progress or did you just make fun of me? No, we did all the rest of the lyrics. We did the rest of the lyrics and then when I asked Cushar, I made the blanket statement.

I bet Indian shit themselves a lot. Yeah. I concurred. I passively concurred. You concurred. I concurred. And then you were back. All right.

I think every race shits themselves a lot. Who shits themselves the least? Do what? I think who's, it's the Japanese, I think so too. Italians. No. You have to eat so much cheese. They plug.

They do, but I bet they're plugged for like two weeks and then for two days. It's like hard, hard on them. Italians definitely shit their parents. Of course. Everyone shits them. Everyone should. I bet the Chinese shit themselves the least because they're a very, like, I think the Japanese is the right call.

I think the Japanese shit themselves at least. They're very... They would be to a shame to even accident. That's what I'm saying. Let's not explore this much further because it's going to get racist. It's just so much. Back to the country music podcast. Dishonored my underwear.

Okay. But we're complimenting them. Of course. They wouldn't. They never shit themselves to leave. They're serious people. Hey, they're in this video. They are in this video.

They are. I'm speaking of the video. Businessman. Yeah. Let's get into the video. Got down the business too. I feel like the video. In a dance off.

You think they won? Huh? No, no, no. Actually, I think the Amish one, based on what we saw on the video. Well, the Amish, I'm pretty sure those were rodeo clowns dressed up as Amish. I mean, they weren't Amish. Right. Right.

But I mean the style of dancing that they were doing. Right, but the style of dancing that they were doing, they look like rodeo clown. What do you call that? They were the soggy bottom boy. Are they hoeing down? This one right here, this, when they were doing this, that's called the ham bone. Yep, it's a ham bone. I know that's called the handbone because that's my father-in-law's go-to move.

When he gets drunk, no matter where are, he just starts doing the handbone. Okay, look at them. What's that genre of dance called? It's got to have a name. I'm calling it rodeo clown. I mean, don't it look like the way they dance in eight seconds? The rodeo clowns are just doing that thing that also... It's like country dancing.

It's like line dancing without line dancing. That's a whole country style. They do that because they do the hilltoe with the boots on. And this thing back and forth, that stuff there, you see that at, like, so many country music videos have that move. Yeah. And you see a lot of cowboys doing that at rodeos. There you go.

There you go. It's also how Lloyd and Harry dance and dumb and dumber. Yeah. Yeah. It's stupid. But cowboy dancing's a lot. thing. Yeah, it is. That's how you'd have to dance if you were wearing big

boots, you know? And you've been on, you've been in a saddle on a legged. It ain't just cowboy dancing? It's called, I guess it is called Country Western dancing. That's the first thing I can find on it just a very that's how white people dance. Cursary and Googling. Speaking of white

people, that's definitely like a great example of us blowing it culturally. That's a whole culture and it's not the best in the world, but it's cool. And then we name it, country and Western dancing. Call it cowpoking. That'd be rat. Cow poking, there you go.

Yeah, I thought, you know, hoeing down. Yeah, ho it down. Oh, and hoe it down, baby. You're out there and hoe it down. Man, best hoow downer I've ever seen was handbone, Jones. Tear it up, hoe it down, you know what I'm saying? He never got no credit. They wouldn't let him on the circuit on a county.

You only had one leg. I thought that's what made him hit, though. Oh, handbone. Maybe light it up, hoe it down. Light it up, hoe it down. Yeah. Yeah. I'm for that.

Eat your girl been around. Mm-hmm. You guys have been drinking, ain't you? No, no, I'm very high. Yeah, I'm neither. I got a fanny pack, and so I just always have my weed with me now. And I got these new chili mango ones, and they're so tasty that I just keep eating them, and I'm just real high. That'll fuck you up, man.

Peanut Butter one got me in Denver. I'll tell that story, though. Let's get in this video. The first thing, you know, they've got the cows that comes in. You see the blonde woman. We've already touched on, the first thing you notice when you want, much the video is the very 1990s way of showing the different groups. You've got the Japanese cowboys sitting all together with their hats.

You've got the Amish and they're battling. And then you got this freeze frame or I'm sorry, close up on John Michael. I forgot how good looking at some bitch is. I'm glad you said that and what you said before because the first thing that I noticed about this video is how John Michael Montgomery looks like he could be on a, country music video today because of that now everybody dresses like the 90s like he like he was kind of wearing like a snapback hat and like an old like which today you would get from a thrift store shirt but like everything about him in that video was like this is very 90s but like if that dude

was doing a music video today I'd be like he looks today as well and yes he's very good looking no cowboy hat uh uh no i don't think he has cowboy boots on flat yeah and he's got to but he has no No charisma. I was about to say, I didn't know exactly where y'all are going with this because I felt like watching him that it was kind of funny how. I just meant aesthetically. Right. But he like, yeah, as far as like the showmanship or whatever of it, it was very, very subdued and super white and not.

Yeah, not overly charismatic with the whole like at one point. He had a cowboy hat on at one point, didn't he? Because he pulled it off or was that his ball cap that he pulled out? I don't remember. I don't remember him having a change. he had a calvoy oh you're right yeah you're right yeah and he's like change his hat god damn it i can't remember the line but he says something he takes head i puts it over his heart and he's like merr you know but in but in a very like i felt in a very half-ass way and like he just like slowly stands up at one point

and like puts his hands on his chest and he's just like you know boys i could be wrong be a sign but he's not like i definitely expected more from that video he ain't selling none of it in my You expected more than a dance battle between the Amish and Japanese businessmen? No, from him. Yeah, he didn't have the, you know what I think? I could be wrong. I think this man wears a cowboy hat in the parts of the video where he's down in the pit. It's like out of respect.

Now, if I'm going to be in the pit in this part, I've got to wear my cowboy hat. Yeah, well, he was amongst the Japanese. They love cowboy hats. Especially Japanese businessmen who operate in beef. Now, that part, that's like, you know, that's accurate. that's one of them stereotypes that like it's very much a stereotype but a who's it hurting and b it's so fucking true like that's such a thing the cowboy hat thing is japanese businessman loving cowboy hat yeah dog they love that shit and again i mean this in a good way they do everybody does

working beef and oil and stuff definitely a lot i'm working beef and oil you like cowboy hats and horrors i don't care who you are they love john wayne they love fucking stan hansson the wrestler like japanese that's how you know this shit yeah because of the wrestling connection. Well, that and there's a... I'm not doubting this. I just in my head, I was like, how does he know all this stuff about Japanese businessmen? That and an episode of Seinfeld where Kramer points it out. So two things, and I'm convinced that it's correct. Tushar, I got to say for a segment that's entirely about racism, you're awful quiet.

I just did want to throw in that I was like, what's with the Chinese guys? And you actually called them Japanese. How do you know they're Japanese? because they operate in beef. And also because I know, they don't all look the same to me too, Jesus. I think, I feel like, and I'm sure I could get it wrong a lot,

but I feel like I can tell when somebody is Japanese, I think. And Korean. You know, famous last words. I don't know. Don't give me a lineup. Don't give me a lineup.

But I feel like the Japanese they do have. I feel like the Japanese have a. kind of a distinctive sort of look, I feel like. But also the fact that, yes, they were businessmen and Japanese businessmen is definitely like, you know, a stereotype. Especially in the beef world, right? Kobe beef is it? Yeah, yeah.

Oil. And shit. I mean, I assumed that the people that did this video and whatnot wanted it to be historically accurate. Knew about options. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. There's Amish at beef auction.

Japanese, yeah, wearing cowboy hat. Yeah. And they have dance battles. It's completely accurate. I'm just saying, they didn't just literally say, you know, we had some Japanese and yeah,

dude, at no point when someone was making a country music video that they think, let's just get Japanese people for no reason. Somebody I think was like, you know how when you go to big beef auctions? Yeah. You know how a lot of times you'll see Japanese?

Ain't that the damned this thing? And one woman. Yeah, right. And everybody talks about wanting to fuck her. Yeah. Right. You went by her? That's the number one record.

I mean, it's definitely either, it's definitely either that or somebody was like, you know what would hit? The Ninjas versus the Amish. Yeah. And they went with that. Yeah. Too sure what are you said? Are the, are the Japanese people, are, have you been to an auction, a beef auction?

No, not a big one. I've been to car auctions with my grandpa. I've been to small farm auctions, but there wasn't a lot of beef going on there. There might have been one cow. Is the purpose of this auction to buy beef to, for what? Like, cows to make beef with?

I know that's just offensive to you, Tushar. Yeah. It's also, taking our gods. It's also breeding. These cows got to work, Tushar. Yeah. It's also breeding. They will do like bulls. That's my question.

Yeah, it's both. Yeah, you got your stud cows, you got your beef cows, you got your milk cows. you know what I mean okay none of which do we nail how much you gotta kneel to milk them

right I feel like I should be offended by the but I you know I love cheeseburger so I can't say shit I know what are you gonna do

yeah I mean the auctioning part is just you know it's just simply a way to everybody it's like a marketplace you know it's like it's a beef market what are you gonna do well I

is that ever they do show cows at the end don't they? I was going to say it don't ever say that it is In the beginning they open with cows and closed with cows

Yeah okay all right All right I didn't know if we were all just sort of taking that for granted But you're right I remember it did actually show cows now Well and that pit that they have With pigs You wouldn't want to you wouldn't need to see pigs walk around It would just be like fucking

Where they cut not troughs individual Cages? You know what I'm trying to say? Yeah, cages. All dolls, stalls. Yeah, stalls. So I think it's just, you know, there's a lot of allusions to it being beef exclusively. Are Amish people considered your redneck brethren, brethren?

No. No, they don't. They're poor. They're not poor whites. They're not poor. They're not poor. And they don't blow stuff up. They don't, yeah, exactly.

They're not allowed to blow stuff. Their cars don't go fast because they're not. They don't even fucking have them. They literally two horsepower. They do. They do mess. They do mess. They're butter hits.

Their butter does hit. But if they're, in my head, if they're rural whites, then white can't they be part of it? Also, they're all Yankees. Like, that's changing and they're now coming south. But they're all Yankees. You see what I'm saying, though? They're rural southerners that work off the land and are super into their god. That does sound rednecky.

but like rednecks also have fun. You know what I mean? That's true. Yeah. I think he's got you there. I'm just, we got, we have Amish in my hometown.

They got an, we got an Amish community there and have as long as I can remember. And like the people, the rednecks in town, they're very much like a different thing. I remember they would like, people would go, people would go and buy their produce and shit from them or whatever,

but they would also like, they were, you know, they're very isolationist. Yeah. Obviously. That's part of their whole thing. But also I went out there once with my driver's ed teacher made me drive him to out to the Amish because he was drunk because he was going to buy.

No. No, he just, you know, whatever. We ain't going to, you know, hell he hid. But anyway, right, don't. We drove him. Don't throw him under the bus. Don't throw him into the horse and buggy. He was going to buy, he wanted to buy his daughter a rabbit for Easter, which is, you know, a commitment, but that's fine.

And he had me drive him to the Amish for that. no one out there with him and I'd never like interacted with the homage before and I'll never forget because this is not how they're supposed to be like Pennsylvania Dutch or whatever which is actually German and whatnot but I swear to God the Duke came up and sound he would say something like what you came to see the rabbas that's how he sounded to me right it may not have been that hardcore sort of scotch-irishy sounding or whatever but like he didn't sound German because normally they also be a bit urbibirber yeah right like either way they don't sound like us either.

That's a big part of it. Yeah. They're Yankees. They're, they're foreign white people. They're like foreigners. They're European. And they keep themselves apart so much, too, that there's no, like, yeah, cultural bond. And they don't have mustaches or whatever.

They do break dance, though. Apparently. The movie Kingpain was my only insight into the Amish world. And he's a good one. He goes on Rum Spring. I was going to say, other than Rum Spring of documentaries and the five times our families made us go with them to buy butter, us too, buddy. I mean, that's why they're not rednecks. We don't talk to them.

I see them. They get on the road in front of me with their buggies. I get annoyed and go drive around them. Dude, I'm watching Banshee right now. I got a poop. The big bad in the first season of Banshee, I assume for a while, he, thanks, Drew, we got it. And he's, um, he's. He was Amish and then he left

and so he's now being shunned by the Amish and he's now they shun. No hey they shun like a month shun the fuck yeah but he's a he's like a bad guy like he genuinely a bad guy but you definitely while watching the show go yeah but I mean fuck them for shunning him like you're still mad at the Amish

dude shunning and churning and shunning they'd love to shunner and churned dude and the office you've got to experience with the Amish because of the office right too shire the office you didn't watch the office no really i stopped caring about stuff like that you could stop caring about it but if you watch the first several seasons like dwight and his brother like got the homage thing going um no i don't hit to moz mo's yeah moz that's moz that's moz michael sure sure the creator yeah he really a homage guy and every scene he hits in it real hard yeah they don't

fuck with Amish just don't they don't have any art do they? No. I get they probably like basket dolls. Yeah, right. Corn dolls out of corn. Like their hair is the corn silk and shit. Stuff like that.

And I'm certain that they draw Jesus like a motherfucker like real badly. I don't know that might be like a real religious. Yeah. You know how Muslims be. Right. I'm not sure a lot Muslims in that way. Hey, hey, say no more. The Muslim. I hate a

stone age. Amish the Muslims of the north. Not all Muslims. But look, Taliban don't hit. No, Taliban don't hit. And Amish are pretty Taliban. They're the Taliban of Pennsylvania. The Christians.

White Taliban. Yeah. They did white Taliban. They just can't fly planes, you know. No, exactly. Yeah. They'll run a buggy into a federal building. It just won't.

God, dude. At least Drew's not here to know when to come. Yeah, right. I'm talking specifically about the goddamn terrorist ones. We can make fun of them, God, damn. Of course. Dude, the Taliban don't have it.

I'm not making blanket statements about all Muslims. We are about the Amish, but they, who cares? You know, they pray three times a day. That's a blanket statement. That is a blanket statement. There it is. There it is. Yeah.

No, actually, I think I told you all this, but I don't know if I mentioned on the mic, we on the Well Red podcast sort of went in on Amish for a while one episode. Yeah. We like to do that. And we didn't hear from any of them. That's not true. That's what I was about to bring up.

Oh, really? We made that, you know, it's old jokes like Wachytel Amish jokes because they'll never hear about it anyway or something like that, you know. We shit on the Amish on Well Red episode. And I sure enough got a Facebook message for somebody. I didn't read the whole thing, obviously, because it was a wall of texting. And written in old English. I just want you, y'all to know all caps.

You've got the Amish all wrong. And I was just like, yeah, no, I ain't fucking with that. Yeah, no, I don't. Oh, because this message seems really annoying and stupid, which is exactly what I said to Amish are, so I don't think I had them wrong. It's also like how they emailing us. Exactly.

They're not doing it the right way. Or maybe that's why we got wrong. Have y'all heard that anti-COVID Amish joke that the conservatives just love, dude? They love it. I've seen it a million times on the internet and stuff. And I heard it, overheard it. I can't remember where I was at,

but I overheard somebody said it too. I think walking down the street here in Burbank, And it was like, it's like, you know why the Amish or it's like set up. It's like I was talking to an Amish person and the Amish guy said to me, do you know why we don't have COVID? Because we don't have the news. Because we don't have television. Right. Yeah.

And they think it's like brilliant. You know, they're like, yeah. Huh? See? Yeah. As though the Amish aren't also dying from this. It's just like. It's also while we get away with a lot of family rights.

Right. Yeah. Yeah, right. We don't know none of the shit that's going on with them. They're 100% dying from COVID, but they just think, well, Jeff and I cough to death, like his daddy did before him. You know, throw him, you know, in the corn, fertilize the corn with him or whatever, and fucking let's keep going. Yeah. I'm really on one this episode.

I thought you were drunk, son. I'm not. I'm totally sober. I'm just being. Can I have fertilizer? He put it around. He put your wife beat her on, son. You got your red up.

Can I, can I have fertilized the corn? Just kicking around, everybody. God damn. God damn. And may not tell us a shit anymore. God damn. I can't sit here with my buddy and talk shit about other people, races and cultures. Trey, can I have fertilized the corn with him? That fits probably five of my jokes, but one very specific.

That's nothing people used to talk about it. I said this on the Well Red podcast, but people in Sinai used to talk about, like it was a, a very shadowy rumor about them. Like, you know, they fertilize their crops with their own shit. You know, as opposed to cow shit. Right. Yeah. Like, I'm fine with that.

It's fucking, it's poop either way. Our poop hits harder than a cow's poop. Yeah, who gets a fuck? I get that. I get people held against them in Solana. I get, I get why you're saying that, and I agree with you 100%. But people make that point about breast milk. And I got to say, I don't,

I'm like, ugh. People will be like, they'll be like, why shouldn't I drink my wife's breast milk? You drink a fucking cow's milk. Regular milk hits harder. Logically, it's the same thing. No, it ain't. It don't taste as good. I agree with that.

But, you know, how do we know that human shit creates better corn? I'm just saying it's no more disgusting. I think. That's what I'm saying. I did not even a little bit do this. But I feel like, you know, if your wife's fine with it and you want to drink her tea milk or whatever. I felt like that's sort of that but dude guys get on Craigslist and buy teddy milk. Yeah, that's weird.

Just whatever. As a fetish? And that's pretty why it is a fetish, I'm sure. But also like, aren't there like super hippie-dippy places that make like breast milk ice cream and shit like that? Of course, our pussy yogurt. No, well, there was a guy who made human breast milk. Hold on. There was a guy who made human breast milk in New York.

He got in trouble because it like blew up, his business blew up or whatever. And he didn't have a license or any of that. But I don't think there's like an official business doing that. There may be, I know bodybuilders like human breast milk. Yeah, dude, they'll do it. They'll do anything, though. Like, I mean, I know that I guess this is involved in a lot. Horse, they eat horse a lot.

It's like one of the one thing for them to eat is horse. And they drink breast milk and stuff. But, dude, they're fucking, they're intense, man. That, that ain't yet. This is the most well-read episode of Bubba Shock the podcast with that. Yeah, for sure. Well, quit going to take a shit and letting me and Trace to hear the goddamn shit. No, buddy, I ain't nothing I can do about that.

I thought I was done with this. Too sharp. What do you think about the song? We can talk about the song. I know you mentioned... Sorry, I thought it was really simple. It was the most simple song we've done. Everything else had complex.

Like the last song we did before this was just... It was... It was like... It was poetry. And this one was just a straight up, you're hot, I want you, let's do this. And it was very repetitive. And so I thought it was a very basic song. What is this classified under?

Would it be like what type of chart topper? Chart topper. Like, what do you mean? No, but you know how there's different types of there's the different classifications of country music? What would this fall under? Oh, it's pop country. It's 90s pop country. You got to do era when you say pop country.

It's 90s pop country. It's silly. It does have a story, which is part of why I chose. It also chose it as a follow-up to Fancy because it's, as you said, it's goofy. So it's like, oh, this is a palate cleanser, you know. But it does tell a complete story because he, you know, he hauls their heart away. And I got to say, as goofy as it is, and I agree with you that it's goofy, I could see it happening. If it very charming with those dimples, you know, if John Michael Montgomery,

or he had any charm in this video. And he was at an auction and was like, hey, girl, won't you give me a sign? You know, and then maybe I'll bid on you. I could see it happening, you know. It's like a little cute meat. This is one of those songs just like John Deere Green, where I'm just, every time I hear it,

I'm dying to hear a song about these people 10 years from this moment. You know what I mean? Like songs about the moment you fall in love are always like this, beautiful moment. It's like, dude, even nine months from now, I want to hear what these. No, no, no, no, no. John Deere Green. It's been a lot of time. Billy Bob and Charlene. Still together for a long time.

Long time. They raised corn kids and tomatoes. That's true. That's true. Raised the kids all the way up. All right. Let's say that now. We will do that song. John Deere Green is a retrospect. That's true. Okay. You're right. Yeah. My bad. We'll get into that way. When Tray suggested this one and then like I was like, all right, we'll do it this week. I thought we would get way more into and we are we have already to see.

disgust it. The uniqueness of the song. The fact that it's kind of a rap song. Right. Yeah, I mean, it's funny because you know, we were just talking about it and well-read podcasts about that goddamn song

Fancy Like or whatever, which is a smash pop country hit right now and how literally when I first heard it, I thought that it was like a really bad rap song that Appleby's had commissioned or whatever. And then I realized, oh shit, this is a country song.

But it's like today, there's so much more like rap elements going on. But no one was saying this or thinking this about John Michael Montgomery when this shit came out, by the way. That wasn't like part of it. No. It's just when you like sort of listen to it now and think about it, you sort of realize he got bars. He got bars.

Yeah, just like the fat-paced nature. It's very rapid fire and everything. And so you kind of notice the. similarities, but that wasn't part of it. Whereas that would have been a huge part of it. I think it would have been bad from his perspective if people started bringing that up.

It would have made a lot of old boys be like, oh, they don't hit, fuck rap, you know. Yeah, absolutely. Because even like six or seven years later when like Nellie and Tim McGrawled did a thing like it in arguably hit for a lot of people because it was a huge hit. But like there's a huge sector of country that like that did not fucking hit for. And that was later. You know, this was mid-nobligible.

90s and all that would not have hit okay I agree with y'all um I think that another well another thing I wanted to talk about when we got into it um hold on I got to pull up the lyrics you don't mean trade just to sing them to you no it's okay oh this is also in the video and we have touched on it so maybe we don't need to get into it but I did have a note of like we found love on the auction block and I hauled her heart away and we've already mentioned this he delivers that as he's walking in front of cows, and then he walks up to her,

and that very cute actress has a lot of personality, and then he looks at her with no personality. Yeah. That's a very time-specific. It's sweet, but it's also, and again, we've touched on this, a little like, yeah, right. A barter.

Yeah, right. Like, I know a lot of people would be like, oh, you couldn't make this video today, and it's like, oh, you could, I don't, you wouldn't. You know what I mean? Like, this wouldn't be, I don't think. Maybe. I don't know.

I don't know, but like, hell, country music is now, even maybe more than ever, is like every other lyric is about painted on jeans and, like, women kind of being objects. Like, at least back then, like, they had some sort of autonomy, like, you know, at least other people could have bar, you know? Well, that's the way that they get past. That's how they got over their fear of rap. It was like, listen, when you stop being mad about how they're black, they got some good ideas about guns and women.

Right, exactly. Right. and owning land. So we said earlier, it was like, oh, yeah, John Michael Montgomery is just close to rap. His country should ever come, God damn it or whatever. And we're talking about that. And in my head, I was like, was it just this song, though?

Because I knew he had a slow song. So I was like, I can love you like that and shit like that. And I was thinking, I was like, I know there was more to it than that. So I looked it up. And there was also be my baby tonight. Remember that? Yeah. Could you, would you?

Ain't you going? If I ask you, would you want to be my baby tonight. Take a chance. Let me have to make a little little man. Honey. All right. Girl, you got me wishing we was hugging. And I'm holding to.

Could you, would guarantee you? That's wrapping. What do you think of that, too, sure? So one of the one of the songwriters, Fagan in an interview, talked about that and the speed of it, and said that's definitely one of the things

that's set it apart. and that a few people, he offered it to a few other people, he didn't name names, and they didn't feel like they could do it. And that he felt like John Michael really had chops for being able to do that. Then he mentioned a song that I cannot find or I couldn't earlier called Hectic, that he says is the only country song he knows of that's written faster. And it was written by a songwriter buddy of his, but no one would cut it because no one could do it.

And anyway, that's just something to think about or interesting about country music in general. There's no bust to rhymes of countrymen. I mean, I guess it's John Michael. I guess John Michael is the... I also realize, I'm sure I'm certain, Corey, and maybe you also knew and have always known this, but I didn't realize just now trying to find that other song that John Michael Montgomery was...

Eddie Montgomery's cousin? Brother. Is his brother? Yeah, from Montgomery Gentry. They should just get together now. I never put... Well, apparently they started singing as a duo. Yeah.

And then they, even though the brothers, they split up, and one of them made it as part of a duo. but not with his brother and then his brother made it solo. Was that the order that it went in or did John Michael make it solo first? That, that's what happened. I think that there was some jealousy and some, it was like, I'm going to go on my own. You're holding me back and I don't know which one. I don't know which one said that to the other, but I know which one was right.

I've met Amy Montgomery several times and he's a good guy and I'll think he's talented, but he definitely needs another person. You know what I mean? Right. for sure. Now that poor, you know, poor Troy is dead, I kind of wish they'd get back together and start hitting. Or I very don't wish that, because who knows what would happen.

I do wonder, though, well, let's look it up. Maybe there's some information on the internet. I wonder if, like, I wonder if they, like, broke up because John Michael was like, you know, I don't need you anymore. If they could get away with the songs, because I don't know how that would all work, but, like, if John Michael and Eddie, Montgomery got together as a duo and did both John Michael Montgomery hits and Montgomery Gentry as a show.

I mean. That would fucking slap. It would slap. Surely they've thought about that. Have John Michael fill in for gentry. John Michael Montgomery Gentry. It's right there. It's right there.

It looks like they've covered Keith Whitley together. They want. And never mind. It's an old video. It's a new article, but it's an old video. It was like it's a video of them covering Keith Whitley, and I thought it was recent because it was a recent article. Here is a clip of Eddie Montgomery talking about working with his brother.

If I can figure out how to share the goddamn sound, I could play it for you guys. Does anyone have any tips, Trey? No, I don't know shit about Stream Yard, really. I thought that's what you used with skews. No, we don't be doing. Also, no, we use Restream, it's called. That's right. Fuck.

I was about say something. What was it, Tray Lane? It was, what was it? It was about the song. I think I had something to do with the song. There should be a little button. But I can't remember. That was definitely Eddie Montgomery looking like he's about to

fucking bury a pizza. Oh, I remember what it was. Both, I can love you like that. And I swear. Yeah, we're him, right. But those were covers of the All for One and Boys to Men songs. Weren't they? I think so.

They were R&B first, is what I'm saying. That was the whole thing with Country, and I wouldn't be surprised if it still is. That used to happen all the time. Yeah, imagine that. But I was just going to ask if Tushar knew anything about that, I realized that that was like a trend for a while. That would be like R&B rap song or R&B like love songs, I meant to say. There was an in-sync Alabama one.

Yeah, God must have spent a little more time on you. Where they would, the country artist would just cover this slow song, but in country fashion, it would become a chart topper. That had for you? You're saying country songs take from R&B. They take them R&B and sample their music. Not sample. Not just cover.

Just do a cover song. And way different. Not years later. though is the thing. Immediately. A year later. They would come out. Sometimes almost seem

concurrently they would come out. Well, I mean, way back in the day, that was like a big part of the business model when they were first splitting up white and black music. They would just steal it. Like, they would just be like, hey, the white guy did it. Not always. A lot of times what it was is the same record company.

John Michael Montgomery's, I swear, was first. Boom, take that. All for one. All for one did it separately. So I apologize. And it wasn't always. them taking it back in the day what it would be a lot of times. That's a goddamn white race too, buddy.

God damn, I can love you like that. Wasn't even one of those. Oh, no, it was. All for one did both of these. Oh, yeah. One covered two. John Michael Montgomery. I did.

Same year. That's wild. That is wild. I definitely- Say it. Say the worst. All right. Is that a white dude?

That's definitely a white guy. He's one of them like vanilla. You guys seem to be having fun on the phone that we can't see. what I was trying to say it's the same like it's the same business model it's a situation where like capital records owns the song

right and back in the day it was back in the day it was like there's black radio stations and there's white radio stations there's no crossover because it's segregation

so we put the song on both of them to capitalize on the money why all for one took that back up and ran with it I'm not sure but it happened didn't that Brian not Brian Adam Brian McKnight. Brian McKnight had that situation, right?

I don't remember who, which white did his shit. Gary. Gary Allen? Yeah, Gary Allen did, I think, a Brian McKnight song. I think I've got the names right. Did Gary Allen's wife die of cancer? Probably. Which every one of them's wife died of cancer.

He did a Brian McKnight song, and I remember everybody was like, oh, it totally changes the meaning. You know what I mean? Right. I don't know. I don't remember none of that. leave you, but none of that's ringing a bell for me. Brian at night used to hit for me.

Anytime is a jam. Back at one. Back at one is the shit. I think there's a country version of that. But anytime. There is, I think. Anytime is pure second. I was always told, maybe this is because I was in Alabama and people who like country

music, but they would always be proud of saying, oh, everyone steals from country. Like every genre steals from the storytelling ability of country. I don't know how true that is. I think it is true, but it's like saying, you know, everyone steals from music. I mean, you know what I mean? It's like storytelling and storytelling. But, yeah. But then there's plenty of people that would tell you, like, country music was stolen from African tribes.

Way more people stole all the stuff that the black people came up with and made it for sure. Well, I mean, especially in rock and roll. That's way more true in Rock and Roll. Alabama, you heard so many people going like, they've taken all our shit. They take the white man stuff. Yeah, hell, they were probably talking about all for one. I guarantee it.

All for one was on a tear back then. Round that time. All right, you guys, any last thoughts before we give it a rating? I mean, just that I was, I'll be honest, I know you're going to say like, really? With the Japanese businessman and Amish, I was pretty underwhelmed by the video. I think it was like, it seems like it's the first time I've seen it.

I probably saw it when I was a kid. if I had to guess because I this song was like it just seemed like ubiquitous for a couple years like this song was always on and I loved it I mean I still love it for the record like I think it's a great song it's super catchy um this song is definitely a if someone was like hey what like what like what song just sounds exactly like your your era of country I feel like this is one that I could go look this this is a really good time capsule moment of like what it was like and what song sounded like back then. And, you know, it was poppy.

It was super fun. It's stupid, but it's still great. Yeah. I think the video was better than the song, even though the song's great. I love the video. I love her dancing for no reason. The video didn't hit for me until the dance off at the end.

Yeah, but that's like, that's half of them. But that's half the video, because the song is so short. That's almost half the video. And I liked it when she stood up in that black dress and then showed her by her panties. That also hit. But it's kind of like the song is only two and a half-minute song and it's kind of like they were making the video. And they got all the way through it and we're like, y'all, this don't hit. Yeah, we need to make something hitting this.

We just do the course again. I don't know. We have a dance off between the Amish and the Japanese. The dance off does hit. By the way, we barely touched on it. We started talking about cowpoke and how it needs a better name. But like, that's a great deal. dance off.

It was. I don't really know what to say about it other than, I mean, it's some Japanese businessman, some Amish fucking really hand-boning it up, you know. I didn't understand what the fuck was happening in that at the end. Well, they had been... What the hell is this? They had been competing against each other,

outbidding each other, you know, so they've been battling back and forth all day. And as it does, it culminated into a fucking dance-off. Yeah. Okay. I don't know. Last thoughts, too.

are, man, your zap today, buddy. I think today, yeah, I'm out of it today, but this was probably my, of all the songs, the seem like the shallowest and the video was the most, like, the Japanese people was funny, Amish people was a left field thing, and it's like, why did you pick those two groups? Like, it just made me, like, question, like, what was happening? Yeah, you didn't have enough, you didn't have enough reference points. I never questioned it because it's, like, other than white Texans, that's who would be

at a beef auction. It's so fascinating. In that sense, it's educational. Well, you had to, but only if you talk to us about it, you know what I mean. Right, right, right, right. All right, let's give it a rating.

I'm going to go with two Bubbas. Is that, I thought it was Earnhardt's. Yeah. Oh, two Earnhardt, sorry. My bad, you're right. Two Earnharts is a Rusty Wallace, I believe.

Yeah, which is, which is also, which is also what that those Japanese businessman's favorite fetish is. Yeah, oh, Rusty Wallace. Yeah, I too give it a two out of three Earnhardt's. A hard two, though.

A real hard two. I'm going to go one and a half. Fuck you, too, Sharp. I guess I'll give it a 2.25. There you go. Earnhardt's. There you go. That's how long a goddamn pit stop should take, by the way.

Which is how long that song is. Yeah. Really super hip for me. That's what a hard two is. Okay. Yeah. All right. Non-iconic.

Yeah. You know, not the intimidation. Rusty Wallace. It's Rusty Wallace. It did good. Now he owns a bunch of car dealerships. All right. We'll see y'all next week.

Thank you, everybody. Thank you. I don't expect no shit from 2005 podcast, and that's right.