wellRED podcast - Corey Reads You A Story Because Him & Drew Forgot To Record A Podcast !

Episode Date: August 2, 2023

Well y'all.... we (me and Drew) fucked up! Gotta let Trae off the hook cause he told us a few week's back that we'd be on our own for this episode, and we both just carried on and forgot it was fucking Tuesday lol. As point man of this podcast I (Corey) will take full blame! There will be an episode coming out later today, but I didnt want everyone confused as to what was going on, so as a filler I read yall a story that was published on my Substack at PartTimeFunnyMan.com called "Don't Know No Words Too Good!" I hope you enjoy it and will consider subscribing at PartTimeFunnyMan.com If you cant afford the 5 bucks, don't worry, you can also get all of it for free! go to TraeCrowder.com to get tickets to see Trae on the road! go to DrewMorganComedy.com to get tickets to see Drew! We sure would love it if you'd Pre order our new book Round Here and Over Yonder which is available everywhere you get your books, and yes... an audio version read by us can be pre ordered as well! Click Here to pre order it or if for some reason you cant click it, you can also pre order it at TraeCrowder.com or CoreyRyanForrester.com Apologies for the fuck up this week.... you can direct your anger towards me, Corey Ryan Forrester!

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion, because used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie. I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now. Skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people. People across the ske universe, I should say.

Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year? Do you even know? Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery? Getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low main? Because that's a thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better.

And it's called Rocket. money. Rocket money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket money shows all your expenses in one place, including subscriptions you already forgot about. If you see a subscription, you don't want any more, Rocket Money will help you cancel it. Their dashboard lays out your whole financial picture, including the due dates for all your bills and the pay days. In a way that's easier for you to digest, you can even automatically create custom budgets based on your past spending.

Rocket money's 5 million members have saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscription with members saving up to $740 a year when they use all of the apps. Premium features. I used Rocket Money and realized that I had apparently been paying for two different language learning services that I just wasn't using. So I was probably like, I should know Spanish. I'll learn Spanish. And I've just been paying to learn Spanish without practice.

practicing any Spanish for, you know, pertinent two years now or something like that. Also, a fun one I'd said it before, but I had a, I got an app, lovely little app where you could, you know, put your friends' faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got, I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies, you know, those weren't a little like the cue ball looking twin fellas. Yeah. So that was that in response to? What was that reply I give for just when I did something stupid. Something fat and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first, but then I quit using it and was still paying for

it and forgotten. If it wasn't for Rocket Money, I never would have even figured it out. So shout out to them. They help. If you're money dumb like me, Rocket Money can help. So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com slash well read today. That's rocketmoney.com slash well, RED. Rocketmoney.com slash well read. And we thank them for sponsoring this episode of the podcast. They're the... Y'all are not going to believe this, but we're idiots.

This is Corey. I'm speaking... Well, by the way, actually, before he hears this, Trey is not an idiot. Trey let us know a couple of weeks ago that he was going to be on the road and that me and Drew were on our own, but then me and Drew both collectively are idiots. And we totally forgot to record a podcast today. This is Tuesday to put out tomorrow, which is Wednesday when Well Red comes out. And now I'm sitting here with absolutely nothing to put out.

I wanted to say this. I will be putting out something later today. It's just that I didn't want you to wake up and be wondering, holy shit, where is the Well Red? podcast. It is my fault. I take 100% full blame and there will be something either a remix or a classic episode or something coming out later, but there's just, yeah, I fucked up. But in the meantime, while I have you, hello, I love you, well-readers, you are the best. Please remember, I'm going to read y'all something here in a minute. I'm going to try to entertain you, but please remember to go to Trey Crowder.com to see Trey on the road.

I know he's out there right now. I think he's in the Midwest. Go to Drew Morgancom. To see Drew. I never know where he is. I hope that you did enjoy his live stream tonight that he did with DJ, DJ Lewis, and Carmen Morales for their podcast, Gravy Baby.

They had a live stream tonight. I'm certain it was awesome. You should listen to that podcast, by the way, Gravy Baby with DJ, DJ Lewis, Carmen Morales, and Drew Morgan. Also, please listen to the well-read sister podcast putting on airs with me and Trey Crow. That is where we talk about fancy stuff as rednecks.

We've also written a book, by the way. It's called Round Here and Over Yonder, and you can pre-order it right now, wherever you pre-order the books. So check out all the other stuff that we're doing. But until I have another episode ready for y'all later, as a filler, I would like to read y'all something, which is also a blatant self-promotion of my substack, part-time funnyman.com.

where I write things and I also read the things to you. This is one I wrote on February 22nd, 2022. And it was after someone on Twitter had told me, I used the word y'all. And they said, they quote tweeted it and said, y'all is only used by those with no vocabulary, a turnoff. And I couldn't just let that sit idly by, I had to respond with this essay, which I called, Don't Know No Words Too Good, a Southerner's Apology for Bad Grammar. Let us start. I was recently told that people who use the word y'all only do so because they otherwise have a terrible vocabulary.

Now, I ain't much one for throwing fits and getting my feathers ruffled over something no bigger than a bug's ear, but that pert near sent me to hollering. Why, I do declare that if I'd done had my fill of liquor that evening, I'd run the risk of showing my ass. If I'm being honest and not telling tales out of school, I'm a touch of shame that I let a city slicker about give me the vapors such as she did. Matter of fact, I might could do with not hollering on the internet so much as I already do. Don't do no one a lick a good know-how. But I suspect it's how I put vittles on the table for me and the little lady, and I sure wouldn't want her to be cross with me. Yep, it's a simple life we live, but hell, we get by just fine, I reckon.

I know she wonders every now and again how better she'd fare were she to have run off with the bank man years ago, instead of hitching her wagon to an old yellow tooth, no sense having country bumpkin or raiders such as myself. Boy, I sure am glad she sticks around and keeps the home fires burning. I tell you what. Yep, I didn't do so much in the way of school learning back in my early days. Paul always figured it'd be a waste, seeing as how all I wanted to do was stand around and spin my yarns to anyone who'd listen. I reckon I took to telling stories because I'd grown up shucking beans on Memaw's porch, listening to the hill people we call cousins, gibber jabber on about this, that, and the other, and it seemed as good a way as any to pass the time between sun up and sundown.

Those, of course, were the only times of day a simple folk knew, seeing as how clocks were for rich people and those from Connecticut. Maybe one day if I save up all the money I usually use to buy scratch-offs, then I can afford to go to one of them fancy word schools I hear tell of all the time. I reckon this lady on Twitter that gives me the what-fur on my speaking failures must have went to one, otherwise she wouldn't know that I said such a stupid thing. I just hope she don't scroll back too far and find all the stupider stuff I said. Excuse me, stuff I said that is more stupid. God, I hope I get it that right. I hope she understands that I never knew I'd have to know so many words. Where I'm from, we only needed about six or seven. Quote,

Hey, Billy, where's the fish biting best at? That was usually enough. to get us by. And don't even get me started on how I can't count. When I look at numbers, all I see is squiggles. When I'm trying to figure out how much money I've gotten my wallet, I have to go by the men's hairstyles printed on the bills. I know that the one worth the most is that bald feller. Unfortunate head he's got on him, reckon that's why they didn't let him be president. Either that or because he spent all day flying kites like a damn toddler. I reckon I would have seemed smarter if I'd been and 200 some odd years back, oh well, we have to play the hand we're dealt, even if we can't read the cards. When we was kids, instead of spelling contest, we'd just line up in rows of three and

chunk possums in old whiskey barrels. If you tossed a second possum in before the first possum climbed out, then you got five points. Since none of us could, well, since none of us could count that high, we'd just start the game over after that. It wasn't much, but it was always, we had and it kept us off the streets, you know. I had this one possum we called Cheryl the possum. We'd turn her loose in the candy store and she'd pop back out with a mouth full of jawbreakers. All you got to do is wipe them off with one of your mama's dish rags and hot damn boy, you got yourself a free jawbreaker. Ski-w! Lord, I wish I knew that when I started playing around on the interwebs that my lack of fancified word knowing was going to get me in a whole mess of trouble.

I reckon if I did I wouldn't have bothered. Call me a pine the sky simpleton, but I thought as long as people could understand what you was trying to say that it ain't matter how you said it. I always figured true smarts was being able to figure stuff out even if it wasn't written all proper like. I guess some folks lack the capacity, though, and need it all laid out for them. I'll be more mindful of that going forward so as to hopefully help out these folks who are so smart they need to let everyone else know.

know how dumb other people are. Yep, growing up in the modern world was hard for someone like me who don't know no words too good, but I've fared pretty well due to the kindness of strangers. Mama always said, boy, that crooked grin will take you further than a basket of five dollars words ever would, you hear me? Mama always knew what to say. Maybe she'd been around a bunch of real smart northern folk in her day. Hell, I don't know. One thing I do know, however, is that we had love and love don't care how it's spelt. Y'all take care now, here? There you go. You can expect stupid things like that all the time at part-time funnyman.com. Hope you were slightly entertained on your drive to work this morning. And remember, I will be putting something that more reflects an

episode of Well-read out later today. Sorry for the inconvenience. I accept all the blame for it. fucking idiot. This has been Corey Ryan Forster. Love y'all so much.