wellRED podcast - Evening Skews - August 18, 2020 - GOP vs Cardi B and more

Episode Date: August 25, 2020

Got a fun one here, y'all. Me and Smart Mark talk about the Republicans war on WAP, Trump's continued war on the post office, the Russians war on our democracy, and a bunch of other lighthearted nuggets. Dolly and T-Swizzle come up too. Lot of purdy singing ladies in this ep, now that I think about it. Anyway, dig it. NOTE: Since I remain one of the most computer-dumb sacks of trash on earth, I corrupted the audio for Thursday's episodes and will not subject you to that. Boy I sure have learned a lot doin' all this on my own! Fun! Anyway I believe I've got it fixed and under control going forward. Love y'all. 

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion, because used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie. I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now. Skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people. People across the ske universe, I should say.

Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year? Do you even know? Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery? Getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low main? Because that's a thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better.

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practicing any Spanish for, you know, pertinent two years now or something like that. Also, a fun one I'd said it before, but I had a, I got an app, lovely little app where you could, you know, put your friends' faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got, I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies, you know, those weren't a little like the cue ball looking twin fellas. Yeah. So that was that in response to? What was that reply I give for just when I did something stupid. Something fat and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first, but then I quit using it and was still paying for

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And we thank them for sponsoring this episode of the podcast. They're the... Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. We're starting up. Yeah. I say some top secret pre-show stuff, right?

Can't... boy. Oh, well, shit. After an unintentional week-long hiatus, welcome back to evening skews. I'm Trey Crowder, and that's Mark A.G. over there, and it's, uh, yeah, Tuesday, August 18th. And we once again apologize profusely for the technical mishaps that waylaid last Thursday's episode of the skews out of nowhere, not going to dwell on that. Still don't know what the hell happened, but it doesn't matter. What matters is we're back and we're glad. y'all are back here with us. We're not, if you watch the video explaining it,

you know that I had like a little studio set up going and we're not in that now. That part of that is just me being gun shy over what happened and just wanting to stick to what we had done before and what works, you know. So enough of that. Welcome to the skews. As you know, we like to start off here

with the latest in American dumbassery. Do what, what did you say? I think that. Oh, my bad. It's the audio on the thing. God damn, this technical stuff's going to be the death of me, Mark. Anyway, we'd like to start out with the latest in American dumb assery, and tonight's no different, except it's a little bit different because it's a two-fer.

Because last Thursday's ill-fated episode, the dumb shit item of the day for that episode is just, in my opinion, too good to not circle. back to. I agree. Yes. So last week, American conservatives were reminded of two things that they so infrequently experienced themselves that they forget that they exist. And I'm talking about hip-hop music and satisfied vaginas. Rap superstars, Cardi B and Megan Nostalian released their immediate smash hit WAP, WAP, which stands for wet, ass pussy and believe it or not republicans were not overly thrilled i can't believe

you said content of it uh here we go you're sharing your screen of us we're on double now oh my god all right i got to get better at this man i thought i had it all figured out here we go i think where's the right thing yes here we go republicans were not into it can you hear it mark no no that was ben shapiro reciting the lyrics for uh for wapes whining a nerd voice yeah and we're still gonna hear it we're gonna hear it we're gonna do this here we go here are some lyrics you ready yeah whores in this house there's some whores in this house there's some whores in this house there's some horrors in this house hold up i said certified freaks seven days a week Wet ass P-word. Make that pullout game weak.

Yeah, you effin with some wet-ass P-word. P-word is female genitalia. Bring a bucket and a mop for this wet-ass P-word. Give me everything you got for this wet-ass P-word. Beat it up, N-word. Catch a charge. Oh, so. I mean, if you think rap doesn't take talent, just listen to Ben Shapiro trying to do it. No shit, man. But that, of course,

that clip was immediately taken by the internet and remixed into its own version of the song, which is itself kind of a bop. The internet is something else. But it went further with Ben Shapiro than just that. And I'm sure everybody knows, but Ben Shapiro is like, you know, he's like a hobbit in Ronald Reagan's Middle Earth.

You know, that's what he says. I mean, if they're watching on Facebook, they certainly come across his videos. He has like two of the top ten most popular. things on Facebook every day. He usually has at least two or three of them. But he didn't just get mocked for this.

He obviously doubled down on his criticism of the song and everything. And in doing so, he said that he publicly said that his wife, who's a gynecologist, I guess, had informed him that wet pussy is, that's unhealthy. Like, that's not a good sign, you know. his wife is not for me you know she's that she isn't true yeah right she's yeah but she told him like she told him that that's not a good thing you don't want that and he publicly stated this which is just like imagine fucking ripping on yourself that hard and not even knowing it you know what I mean it's over a saw I thought we were so far past this since the 90s when like tipper gore

and those ninnies tried to put stickers on albums um and when when uh you know two hours through got arrested in Florida for rapping people got arrested for selling two through albums it's like we have the same dumb we always have the same little fights in this country over and over again but like do you know in like 1960s the FBI did a two-year investigation in the Kingsman because they thought Louis Louis was uh telling kids to have sex you know the song with the in where they with these four white kids from i think seattle just covered a reggae song they didn't understand so the lyrics were nonsense it was like and as they didn't they people were worried because they couldn't understand it that was what was

making their kids have a second note they had cars they were the first generation to have cars so they were banging the back seat it wasn't the music yeah dude well you said it was because it didn't understand it but like that's that's that's in my opinion like everything that outrages them is it's all just things they don't understand you know and they they react act very negatively to not understanding something. They get, like, confused and scared, and that makes them pissed off, and that's sort of their kind of life cycle of outrage, I feel like. But their favorite rap right now is Kanye.

Like, this is from New Slaves of Jesus. Fuck you in your Hampton House. I'll fuck your Hampton spouse. Dude, how many fucking Kanye songs do you think any of them know? or recite any of the lyrics too. They don't, they don't, they don't, they're not fans of Kanye's music. You know, it's the exact opposite of like rat fans

who respect his music, but don't fuck with any of his rambling lunacies or his politics or whatever, you know, and he's the exact opposite for them. Yeah. And he can definitely make a bee. But my favorite one, they're like, I don't know who,

they always have poll testing on this stuff and it's an easy way to appeal to suburban moms, though I don't think you understand that suburban moms, like, like, like 35 year old women were you know 25 a we're 20 in 2005 so like they were shaking their ass to a lot of this bit like it doesn't I don't know if the same move is going to work

over and over again on them I don't know right but uh but there's one of congressman was like I heard that I was horrified this is the day after the song came out I was horrified uh when I heard it parentheses accidentally and then he went all of this yeah right about how it's like going to destroy the youth of America. It's always, music's always destroyed the youth of America.

It's always the kids. It's always the kids with them. Somebody think of the kids, you know, unless they're Mexican in a cage, but otherwise think of the kids or getting, you know, shot in school. Otherwise, think of the kids. But they, a lot of the debate,

if you had to like, like, if you look at the politicized version of it, the debate over the song is about, like, feminism, you know, it's the ones, on the right saying like this isn't feminism this is bullshit this sets women back or whatever you know whereas the left sees it as a female empowerment anthem and embracing feminine sexuality and all of this stuff but i mean you have all these white guys just you know saying that that's

bullshit it's just the two minute 50 song its second dance song that's silly about having sex right it's right it doesn't have to be in view of any sort of political meaning as feminist or anti-fimist, dirty, that. It's just like, women can make songs about being horny, too, and we can all move, I listen to us all once. I was like, oh, I liked some of these stuff,

and didn't really dig this. A little bit of sense, it's fine, and move on just, what about my day? That wasn't the only aspect of the controversy, though. The video features Cardi and Megan cavorting with an assortment

of exotic animals, snakes and big cats and stuff like that. And the latter drew the ire of Tiger King's own Carol Baskin who spoke out against who spoke out against the video saying that it encourages animal cruelty with its use and exploitation of big cats right and Cardi B responded to Carol Baskin and said quote I'm not going to engage with Carol Baskin on that like that's just ridiculous you know oh Lord like Girl, you killed your goddamn husband.

Which really, really hit for me. Cardi B hits for me in general. I like her. Yeah, I mean, every interview I see with her. I'm like, yeah, she's awesome. She keeps it very real. Yeah. But anyway, you know, I'm sure somehow they will emotionally and psychologically

recover from this rap song that came out and they'll be okay moving forward. So I wanted to talk about some of that because I found it all so amusing. But moving on to today's dumb shit item of the day, we actually are turning, I think, Mark, correct me, if I'm wrong, maybe for the first time to the Democrats, to the American Left. Is this the first time we've featured our own party in the dumb shit of the day? Yeah, I think so. I think it is. Although these are different fairly often, but we just keep it real here on the skews.

It is what it is. You know, you can do some dumb shit. We're going to highlight it. And this was, in my opinion, pretty dumb. So this is from the Democratic National Convention, which started last night. I'm not going to play the whole thing, but here you go.

Please fake Jesus, let this clip work. Good night. Do you hear that, Mark? Yes, unfortunately. I mean, it's a good song. Yeah. Bras is still the man. Great.

Look at that. All three things are together is a bit of your stuff. Look at those. Visual effects and all that is top-knock. All that is top-knock. Sincerity. I'm going to be moving. Ooh.

Wow. Look at that. Look at that. That is some 2005 level effects work there. Yeah. Dance mood. All right. So look, like, I don't even know where to, here's my main thing with this.

I'm not really bothered or anything like that by like the politics of the song choice necessarily or whatever. But we can talk about that too because there is something to talk about there. but like to me as a as a liberal as a Democrat and as a you know a creative person it's just upsetting to me a little bit because we're always rightfully shitting on conservatives for their lack of taste you know the right can't meme they're not good at the internet they're not good at jokes they're not good at like you know they put out their like version of this is always very cringe worthy and whatnot and all that is true but I would just like to see us do a little bit better than this shit right here. Like you can't look at this and not laugh at it, in my opinion, because of just how it's just goofy. The whole thing is goofy. Like, I support the message behind it.

Of course I do. I know, like, what they're going for, but it's all just so fucking on the nose and poorly executed, you know. And, like, I just don't like giving them any ammunition to point and laugh the way we do all the time. I think about this a lot of reasonally, but like, like, the only thing that everybody agrees on with their definition of fascism is like, you remove any sort of public service of common good or your place with like an expression of the id, right? And you give people aesthetics, like stuff like, you must stand for the anthem.

Of course, that's one example. But like, but I keep looking at what we're doing. Like the Nazis at least got like Wagner and cool ass hugo boss suits and Mercedes Benz's, Mercedes Ben's tanks and shit. We get chinty red hats, like YouTubers, blonde YouTubers always in Maga Hats playing these shitty

shitty our original songs about how great Trump is. And that's corny and terrible. And then our ostensible left-wing party is trying to replicate this MS paint-level attempt at a music video. And this is like, again, Billy Porter's great.

Stephen Still is great. So I'm great. All three makes me. together with that terrible backdrop, although the double Billy quarters was amazing in favor of that. You could have gotten, like, if you want a protest song about the George Floyd protests, there have been a bunch that came out. Rappers are stepping home in their studios.

Right. But they, you know, they were not the target demo for this. I'm not sure who the target, they're trying to went over with this type of thing is, but I don't think it won anybody. But, well, I mean, like, look, we, talking about entertainers, the right has like Ted Nugent and Roseanne or, you know, like, what, like they've got to, Tim Allen, they've got a pretty, Scott Bayo, you know, Cleary's Wooden his chair. Like, but they're, you know, they're not pulling from the biggest list, is my point.

Like, they don't have a whole lot of options because that's how our number rate. I mean, I think Clint, I think Trump might be too right, but right, like his voice been. Yeah, no, I think you're right. I think you're right, too. I don't think Clint really fucks with Trump. But the left, though, has got like everybody else. And like you said, these two artists themselves

are both immensely talented and awesome. But I'm just saying with that kind of creative brain trust, you would just hope it would turn out a little bit better, even giving the limitations of the era we live in with the pandemic and all of that. It's just, it's a pretty big stage and pretty high profile, you know. Yeah. We're trotting this out there.

I mean, just play the web video if you want to drive, like, Republican and Save. Yeah. But that, obviously, that's just a little sidebar from the DNC so far. I mean, it's going on right now. Who knows what's happening while y'all are here with us. Oh, Bill Clinton's talking tonight. Everybody's so proud it up for the Gap of 1990.

Man. Okay, well, so the headliner last night, the first night of the convention was Michelle Obama, who by all accounts, crushed, which I agree with, by the way, thought she was a great, great speech. She did a great job. Trump, weirdly, wasn't a big fan of it. And Trump went after Michelle Obama for her speech and all the shit she talked about him, rightfully so. On the same day that he made this big gesture towards women trying to court suburban women specifically, he keeps calling them housewives, even though most suburban women work. But he's really going hard after suburban women right now. And yesterday was a big part of that. He had this whole movement of honoring because today is the 100-year anniversary of women gaining the right to vote in this country. So he's been going through this whole thing of honoring suffragettes, specifically.

Susan B. Anthony, who he made a big show of pardoning yesterday. And just a big thing about like honoring women was really high on Trump's list yesterday specifically. But then he capped that off with, you know, disrespecting and talking shit to the most recent First Lady at the end of it. So all very Trumpy. Can I hand about the Susan Bianthropy thing for a second? Yes, please.

First of all, like, this wasn't some sort of but not. First, like, I doubt any woman who's like, live today, thinks about suffrage enough to be, I mean, I'm sure people, feminist studied or whatever, but like, women aren't grateful for being able to vote in 2020. It's taken as like for granted. It's overrides as a human being. Two, so this is patronizing on that level. Two, Susan B. Anthony absolutely would not have accepted his partner.

Excepting a pardon is an admission of guilt. It's a conjective nutrition. her actual trial which she was found guilty she was a charged she received a $100 fine which she was supposed to go to jail as she didn't pay. She told the judge to screw off

she'd never pay a dime of the penalty. The judge decided not to arrest her because if he did she could appeal the case all the Supreme Court and would have embarrassed him and she probably would have won eventually. So anyway, she told the judge to screw off, she would have told Trump to screw off. End of the definitive story.

It's the whole thing's don't. Yes, I agree. But back to the DNC, we got some interesting speakers lined up, the Democrats do. There are speaking spots being given to Colin Powell, John Kasich, Meg Whitman, Cindy McCain. I get all that and I'm not,

and I'm not opposed to that because I get the idea, you know, you've got prominent Republicans or former Republicans or whatever. speaking at the DNC because that's how shitty Trump is. But at the same time, they gave literally one minute, 60 seconds to AOC, who's sort of this rising star on the left. And I mean, what do you think that's about?

I think in general, it's probably smart politically. Because what happened, nobody watched, especially because it's not a real convention, virtual or whatever, it feels dead. And probably no one's watching it. But when it does create a second day narrative, you'll see headlines of the paper tomorrow about how John Biden solidifies a lot of Republican support. And it gives like permission structure to casual Republicans to be like, oh, they're saying Biden's not some secret communists that Trump is.

So probably, maybe Trump's saying, but it probably, so it's probably smart politically. I find it incredibly annoying. I listen to a podcast a lot right now called blowback about the Iraq, the Iraq war history. And you don't come out of it with a good feeling about Colin Powell. Um, yeah. And, uh, so I don't know. Yeah. I mean, these are like it's how do you form a coalition of American politics that doesn't have war criminals on it? It's a real question to ask. I don't know. Right. I mean, yeah, that's a good point. And also as always, uh, you know, criticizing ourselves here, but they on the other side are just still so much worse. Because

when it comes to their, uh, speakers that they've got lined up. I know they've got, uh, uh, Nick Sandman or salmon or however you say it that um that former high school kid who went viral for getting in the face of that native american protester in front of the lincoln memorial while wearing a maga hat and all this shit came out later about how like oh that was taking a little out of context or whatnot and like you know maybe it was taken like it was maybe vilified a little bit more than it should have but just like still wearing that hat and getting up in that guy's face to begin with is you know bad enough but also it just the fact that gains him this headlining spot and I don't know if he's probably not headlining but this speaking engagement at the RNC you know is a little silly and also they've announced

that the the everybody's favorite boomer married couple the St. Louis gun couple which I don't know what else to call them but the people who went viral it's everybody just goes viral and then just to speak at this shit. The couple in St. Louis, Missouri, who went viral for coming out on their front lawns when there was a Black Lives Matter protest walking by in the street, and they came out on their front lawns brandishing weapons at them, and then said later that they were, they only did that because they feared for their lives because of the presence of the protesters, and they had the right of the castle doctrine

and all this. They were just defending their property against these vicious. just protesters and they also are speaking at the RNC so you know which I'm sure the lawyer is crapping his pants about you get a bunch of people on subject to criminal charges who are going to talk about those charges in public on television. None of it's very smart. But like they're so funny because like it's the perfect symbol of like the modern

like open carry hour 15 gun culture because they didn't know how to use their guns. And you saw them walking around holding the wrong. The guy was holding the right hand of gun left. pointed it out his wife. Like if he fired it, he would have killed his wife, jammed his weapon, and like burned his titty with hot cartridges. And just no, just pure, pure just like, like it's like a fashion accessory. Just buy a bracelet or a Rolex instead of an area 15.

Yeah. Do you, do you think it's weird? And I'm surely this has happened and maybe just getting, didn't get a high level of coverage or maybe I just like missed it, but it's kind of weird to me that there hasn't been a high profile example of people like that who do that with guns

because like there's been so many of them. We see them all the time. The fucking, you know, mall ninjas with their call of duty gear on at the fucking Rbies or whatever. That there hasn't been a high profile instance of one of them, fuck straight up shooting somebody,

like even on accident because of how dumb they are with their guns like i think it i mean i've seen stories but it doesn't happen on camera there's a got face they got fake stream uh we talked about on text but he got a live screen shooting himself through his balls last week um there doesn't do a right-wing mean where guys point their uh handguns at their at their junk and the guy i don't know why they loaded for the video because the video can't tell the gun loaded but they do it and the guy shot himself in his uh in his junk went through his mattress and uh he he he became out hero and in his facebook groups and celebrate that stuff

he's a he's a legend. Again, that's the standard they have for legends, you know. So moving on. Imagine a world where that dude's a role model and party B is it. I don't understand. I know. Unreal. So moving on, the post office continues to be a hot topic in America,

which is something they are surely not used to. like who has ever you know been this upset regarding the post office right but it's been the massive issue for you know weeks now and rightfully so because of Trump and his administration's outright attack on the institution it's so funny because last week is nothing we're going to talk about on the show Trump just like literally came right out and said it I mean literally came right out and said it that he's blocking funding for the post office in order to stop mail-in voting. Like people have said, like it's so clear that he's fucking with the post office because he's worried about mail-in voting and everybody on the ride's like, no, no, no, that's not what it is.

It's a small government thing. It's trying to like, you know, just get the post office back in line fiscally and they're losing money and all that type of shit. and then he goes on Fox News and just straight up says like, you know, they, we're holding this money from them. They need that money in order to be able to take all these ballots. But, you know, if they don't have it, if they don't have the money, you can't have mail-in voting because they're not equipped to have it. And it just literally, it's one of those things we've talked about before on the show

where it's like he says the quiet part out loud, you know. Yeah, I mean, it's really big help because if they, like, He loses, his administration lose a lot of court cases because they'll be arguing one thing. He'll tweet the exact opposite or go on to cable news and say the exact opposite. So the ability to keep a secret or to formally a plan and cure it out. It's like even you see somebody like, I don't know, sign a big movie deal, but then the news leaks so it falls through. You know, it's like one of those things where like you can't keep your house shit. You lose a lot.

but he's no impulse control, no filter. And he got to listen for it. So people have been fired up about it. People have been going to the Postmaster General Louis DeJoy's house and protesting in front of it and things like that. And again, it's been this ongoing news story for a while now. And I guess, weirdly, that has seemed to have some effect because said Postmaster General came out this week

and said that he was going to roll back a lot of that. but he left some wiggle room in there right so yeah i mean the main thing is like like some of these guys are really some some these dudes are like fired up the true believers in uh moving George fashion like bill bar you can stand in short all days like changing his mind but louis old louis de jrno here he did he did not sign up to do a party or at operatic or whatever all he wanted to do was to scan a few bucks for himself and go home without being a public villain. And Trump going on the news and saying that's all part of a political plan, he's like, oh, man, I just wanted, I just wanted to like steal some of the post office and stuff for my UPS stock.

I wasn't trying to, like, be the face of villainy in a history book. So he's trying to back down publicly, but some of the stuff he did was going to be hard to undo. Like, for example, is a few examples. His statement said post office hours will not change, but what about locations where hours have already been cut, will those be reversed. It says processing equipment mailboxes won't be moved. What about machines reportedly already been removed to start a distrust. It says, over time,

it will still be approved, quote, as needed, but what does that even mean? And, like, the post office has a pretty strong union, so, like, where Trump states come and ends up, it ends up in court, the legal battle over this stuff. Trump's already given away the game. So, hopefully they lose, they lose his case for the election,

but, you know, so it's going to go. Yeah. It's going to be voting in person. right well you know it I don't know I mean what do you like what do you think people need to do or actually approach this whole thing I saw an editorial in the LA Times today talking about telling people not to mail letters in October or something like that other than ballots it was like urging people to not use the postal service for anything other than just mail in ballots because they're so worried about this whole situation. Like, do you, how big of a thing do you think this is going to end up being? I guess I'll cut back on all the romantic poems I'm sending people. I don't know.

Like, who's, people just mail bills, right? Right. Bills and birthday cards. Right. So does that mean that, does that mean that you think it's at the end of the day going to, like, work itself out or not be that big of an issue? Like, how worried are you about about this? it's so I was never to level 10 I was like one this is an annoying stupid plan I think one of the

reason the reverse course is like it probably pulls terribly like you saw you in blue dog democrats like the ones make the biggest deal about this uh in their credit Democratic caucus where like Joe Manchin who's the farthest right Democrat I mean in a Senate he's got him Jim Cooper who's a from a super conservative district but it's rural like this if they're if they're coming out super strong swimming. against Trump. This, they must have been like, this must have been seen as horribly unpopular among, like,

world-based voters. So, I don't think it was ever going to work politically, but of course, if you went election one to nothing, it doesn't really matter. You still get the new character goes. Right.

Well, you're talking about rural voters, like, fucking over the U.S. Postal Service fucks over rural Americans way more than others, you know, because, like, a lot of rural,

Americans, I mean, in my hometown, I mean, unless things have changed, there's no, you don't have, there's no UPS or FedEx, you know, like it's just the post office. And a lot of places like in the planes and places like that where, you know, you got a small town that just has a post office, it might be fucking miles, you know, 50 fucking miles to a FedEx office or whatever. So, you know. There's no, it's like that for a lot of rural services where like this push towards small government ends up hurting the people who are in favor of it because they don't think it

through really like that. They're thinking for granted. Things are going to be the same way they always are. But like mailing would still be cheap in a city. Like I live in a suburb of Los Angeles, but it's probably like, I don't know, 100,000 people within a square mile here. And so just because of like bulk rates, like we're like mailing a letter would, even if it on a pure free market, it would be 50 cents a year.

but it might be $15 my mom sounds like there's no like if you want your cure like a financial justification there'd be no paid road my mom sounds it wouldn't make any sort of right right um so i don't know um so Trump is just you know he's been on one of course he's been on one since 2016 but another big thing with Trump specifically uh was last night in a rally in Oshkosh Wisconsin he said, this is what he said, I was to read the quote. We're going to win four more years. And then after that, we'll go for another four years

because they spied on my campaign. We should get a redo of four years. So Trump is saying that he thinks he should have a third term, like he's broaching the subject of having more than two terms, and he's justifying it by saying we fucked him over. but like, okay, what, like, fucked him over out of his first, he got his first term.

Like, he's in it. He's been in it. What? And I know it's like fucking, it's the ultimate, you know, fruitless endeavor trying to make sense of the fucking shit that he says.

But like, what? I wish, here's one thing I wish Democrats would steal from hell. It's to understand that things not technically being true or possible. doesn't mean you shouldn't advocate for them. Because voters hear politicians, voters understand politicians can't do it

than they promise, but they hear aspirations, right? They hear like, here's what it would do if I could. I would build a wall to keep all the brown people out. I would get a third term if I could. They're like, yeah, I think that should be possible too. I think I did. So it riles them up. Like, whereas the opposite happened in 2016,

where he would say some crazy shit going to get done and Hillary spent the entire campaign listing all the stuff she couldn't do and why it'd be impossible to get people better lives and the results speak for themselves well right and also so like you know it straight up says point blank in the constitution that no president will serve more than two terms there's no redo clause right in there but also beyond that like his justification is he should get a redo because the Democrat spied on him. But when he talks about spying, that it was a counterintelligence investigation by the FBI

into Russia's meddling in the 2016 election, which is also, again, relevant because the Senate Intelligence Committee released their final report on the bipartisan investigation into Russia's meddling in 2016. And, I mean, on the one hand, it's a lot of shit in there that, like, we kind of already know, but on the other hand, it's like just it lays out a bunch of wild and depressing shit. Like it's depressing all over again that none of that ever really amounted to anything, you know,

because it's just right there. Turns out Bob Mueller was a, I put this most politely. He wasn't super interested in solving this or actually achieving anything because the Senate Republicans were harder on Trump and Bob Mueller was. And we can go to us, if you want, and I got a lot of strong takes about what the Russian thing is and isn't. But he was never going to bring him down.

It's just garden variety graft corruption. The only difference is the PO Box and the dirty donors have to be foreign as opposed to America, which doesn't make it more legal, but it's not going to make anybody care about it anymore than say Exxon buying a politician or whatever. And I, oh, I don't know. I don't know.

No, what? No, what is? Like, get into it. The big mistake everyone made, it was very convenient for everyone on the right and the left. Like, like, people elevated it to be this cartooner's super villain plot, right? People in the right did it to make it look impossible and stupid. People on the left, the far left did it to make it look impossible and stupid. And people in the center in the left did it to make Trump look like a cartooning super villain. But anybody paid attention.

These are the mental faculties to pull this off. It was just basic bribery. But Russia had D&C get passed and stuff through WikiLeaks, pretty obviously been a Russian cutout since 2013. But we do that shit too. It's basically what the voice of America is, except not evil. And if you've been understood to be what it was, you could have been had an impeachment hearing that made sense,

which is Trump was going to lift sanctions because he doesn't understand economic sanctions over humanitarian stuff because he doesn't care about that he thinks that's cynical bullshit and it's a false facade he just wanted to get down to business and if you could grab a cut for himself and a little bit of a Russian won't come be sure why not that's that's extent of it and like Russia's part sure it helped to have like Trump wave around the WikiLeaks pronounce because otherwise they wouldn't have got in the newspaper so it made their their hacking campaign actually effective to have him do that I don't know whether they negotiated with the man we're going to do that ahead of time but he was certainly

excited about the WikiLeaks drops, but he's also excited about the Wickelyleaks because he's a conspiracy theory. It's just like he's yelling about like in favor of Q&O, which is a conspiracy theory. He knows his false because he's the central character in it. He doesn't wake up in the morning and do anything. He still likes it. It's just also cartoonish and ridiculous. He should have just had Senate hearings about money laundering and bravery.

That's what it's been about. Right. But everything's got to be cartoonish and ridiculous nowadays. Actually, I want you to talk about two cartoonish stories specifically. The first one is part of this story. Please tell the people about that excerpt from this report about the sex show that Trump went to. Okay, so this is testimony from I think Michael Collin. Yeah, it is.

I'm going to read this quote. This is from the United States Senate Intelligence Committee reports about the current president of the United States. So when you're grossed out by this, it's not me. This is the Senate and the president. And they have a sex show in Las Vegas. So Cohen says, it's a club that puts on shows. You never really know what the show is going to be. In this specific case, they brought up a young man who is a leotard body system,

who to me, I would diagnose him as a phylytholytomyde baby. Now, I'm not familiar with Google best. Apparently, there was a bunch of kids who were poisoned by some medicine. They gave kids in the 70s. babies or whatever. And the side effects are, and I don't know the clinical term, but your arms and legs are way too short for your body. It's because it's like deformities like that. So, anyway, you brought a kid with a leader of body suit who Michael DeCohen describes the philidemi baby. And he was blind as well, but he sang like Pavarot.

Uh, hell of a show. So while he was singing, I forget the song. I think it was a God bless America type song. So I got a kid with some unfortunate medical conditions who's blind, but can sing, singing God bless America and a leader. guitar. And so the woman in a thong bikini who was large, they had a big, big beautiful woman performing sex act for one while he was singing. So this kid, this poor victim of some type of sex drafting perform kid is singing while this woman had probably given immoral sex. Interesting because I was with Mr. Trump at the time. It was not really a place I expected to be with him out. So this was the president's idea to go to this section.

Yeah, right. Trump drug him to this show. He looked over to me. He looked over to me, when he was finished. I'm assuming, I'm assuming they mean the song, but you don't know in this context. And I'll never forget this. He looked me right in the face and he goes, that's a tough way to make a living.

Which is funny in this context. It's funny. That's funny. That's about like, look, Trump is hilarious, but it usually in a like very infuriating and also unintentional way.

But like, you know, that's funny. Like in that moment, it's a good line. But Jesus. Christ, man. This is like the pissing report and all this stuff and it's like

again, these types of things like I know this gets parroted all the time, but sincerely though, like just imagine any one of those two things, this or the pissing thing,

having come out about fucking Barack Obama, you know? Like, and they don't even scratch the this is such a footnote. and an afterthought to Trump's presidency that most people don't even even fucking know about it, you know? And like, it's just, it's insane.

It's wild. And like, you know, I ain't fucking shaming, kink shaming nobody. I'm just saying you have the fucking president of the United States going to goddamn donkey shows and stuff, and it don't even register, you know, like. Yeah, I mean, I don't. It's wild.

If the kid was there willingly, I don't really have. any problem with this but the right by the way the calling didn't remember didn't remember the name of the club but based on testimony from other witnesses they figured out the club was a place called the act which is now was now closed in Vegas so unfortunately we cannot take the fact-bombing mission to the act man another tragic casualty of COVID-19 I'm assuming that place so here's the other thing I So there was two cartoonish and ridiculous stories I wanted you to regale us with. The other one is actually, believe it or not, from outside of America, our neighbors in the Great White North, Canada, having a little bit of political scandal.

I don't know about scandal, but situation right now with one of their top political commentators in the country of Canada, who is apparently a sock. Mark. So if you want to feel like we're not the stupidest country in the world for a few seconds, because whatever country really has their variable ADCs. So there's a radical centrist. He can scrap himself. There's one's got.

I hit right and left. I think like if Joe Rogan was a little more normie, right? So it names Ed the Sock. Now, Ed the sock. Oh, God. So he got a little bit of hot water this week because he's a big supporter of like the liberal party, which is Justin Fudeau's party. in their context, liberal means centrist.

So there's a right-wing guy who happens to be a Sikh named Jagmeet Singh. All right. Jagmeet Singh, otherwise a guy who's politics that would probably disagree with a lot, but Editha Sock started calling him Jughead Singh. Now, Jughead obviously is a dumb cartoon character, but it also seemed to people a little racist that he's screwing on the pronunciation of an immigrant, its name on purpose. And secondly, pretty racist

he's calling a guy who wears a head wrap jugger. A turban, right. Yeah. Yeah. Turbin, yeah. So, it's been all madness up there because, like, this guy's a big supporter of Trudeau and, like, mainstream politicians go on his show. So it's like, they've been embroiled in a huge political controversy

yelling about soccer. And I just found that. Yeah, but, you know, if I can talk about stones in a glass house, man, but it makes it it makes it a discourse about the Cardi Vee video look like a goddamn Mencea video

so yeah, I don't know man the whole damn world what are you going to do another this isn't this isn't nearly as funny if not even remotely as funny or cartoonish or whatever

but in terms of like being reminded that we're not the only ones with all this fuck shit going on there was a Belarus's election you know where they uh yeah the basically the dictator there they had an election the uh just just claimed victory even though that's not the case and there's been a bunch of protesters and their cops suck too turns out been abusing the shit out of the protesters and that guy came out and literally said they they'll have to kill me to have another election it's

like, I don't, that's a poor choice of words, maybe, man, but we'll see what happens. How awesome can it be to be the president of Belarus? What are the perks? Well, dude, it's probably better than being, you know, the fucking principal in Belarus or whatever. No, no, I get it. Well, he probably gets a pension. Yeah. Go, go chill, man. Hang out with your grandkids. Yeah. All right. So, um, By the way, we don't know actually how he's unpopular he is, although I'm assuming it's more unpopular he was two weeks ago. But like they swore he won the election like a lot.

But everywhere he goes, people scream at him and throw shit at him. So they haven't felt, I've seen a single actual voter of his. Right. All right. So let's see what y'all are up to over here, get into the comments and stuff. I see some people talking about the queen where I come from. I'm from Tennessee. Oh, Dauphaly.

Yes, a deity, the goddess herself, the almighty Dolly Parton, did some, in my opinion, classic Dolly Parton shit when she came out in support of Black Lives Matter recently. Not everybody felt that way. Although before we get in this, I do think, like, Dolly is so universally beloved in such a national treasure that like there wasn't that much of a backlash or anything, even from people on the right,

because that's just how much people love Dolly. But not everybody was happy about it. So you had an interview with Billboard magazine where they asked her about Black Lives Matter, and she said something like, of course Black Lives Matter, what do you think our, she said something like, what do you think our white asses are the only ones that matter? Of course Black Lives Matter or something like that.

And again, to me, if you know anything about Dolly or never like really paid attention to Dolly. That's very on brand for her. She's always been cool as shit in that way and loves everybody. But some people did get upset. There was a, who is that? Deanne something. She's a hard, hard right-wing GOP candidate for something somewhere.

You know who I'm talking about? She's always saying shit like this. She tweeted earlier talking about George. George Floyd's family was going to have a speaking engagement to D&C, and she said, how did they get George Floyd's family to agree to that? Did they offer them free meth? So, like, she's wild, but she was one that was saying boycott Dolly Parton for support of Black Lives Matter.

How do you boycott a woman doesn't put an album in 10 years? What do you boycott? Hey, she had the number one country album, 2016, Mark. Oh, I did not mean insult to Dolly. I was like, what do you, the idea that people think they can impact Dolly's finances is like, first of all, these people are all, ain't nobody about boycott and Dolly Parton, but also they're always talking about boycott this,

boycott that, and the people are always screaming this, these like hardcore right wangers like, dude, they don't give a fuck about you. Like, you think they're going to like, cowtow to you to keep you from boycotting them. and in doing so, piss off the massively

larger number of people who would be upset by them doing that. You know what I mean? Like Target, boycott and Target, you think Target gives a fuck about y'all deciding not to shop there anymore? Like, dude,

NASCAR, hell, Black Eyes Matter events. Do you know what I mean? Like, they know the deal. Like, they have opted to write y'all off in favor of the, you know, the bulk of progress or whatever. That type of candidate, and she's not the only one, but there's a bunch of like, like provocative, let's call them, running for office this year just to give themselves a little bit of like,

like, a varnish as like respectable. Like Laura Lumer won the Florida 21st Congressional Primary Tonight. under the laura loma rio she's mostly mostly what she's done is handcuffed herself to twitter's headquarters um after she got banned and yell alongside alex jones at a congressional hearing about um shadow banning or whatever um so that's all she's done is just one congressional primary all this stuff so these campaigns are just like branding exercises because they're not going to win they're just trying to get on fox news a few times to maybe get their twitter account back so can make more money up on YouTube channels and sure.

So I for one wish that people wouldn't take them seriously, but we're not able to live on. Well, again, like with her and the Dolly thing specifically, I don't feel like very many people did take it seriously. Like it got some coverage. There was a lot of headlines and stuff about the rights backlash to Dolly saying that and whatnot. But I feel like there wasn't really much of a backlash because, again, that's just

how beloved Dolly Parton is. But there was another, not that high profile, but somewhat prominent. opposer to Dolly Parton saying this and people are bringing up in the comments. And his name's Stuart Baker, but he goes by Unknown Henson. And he's a, I've known about him for a long time because he, he voices early Kyler on squid billies, but also he's this like wild ass, like, I don't even know how to put it, like a fucking gutter ass Elvis, this weird country artists, like half-novelty artist,

and he's got all this, he's wild. He's a wild motherfucker. And I'm not going to lie. I've known about his shit for a long time. I didn't know anything about his politics or nothing. And I was a fan of his. I liked his whole thing. I like squid billies.

I like what he does. But then, Trey, he called Dolly partner a frit-titting slut. And fuck him forever. Now, look like, dude, I, again, it's Dolly against everybody as far as I'm on team Dolly, no matter who's on the other side pretty much, forever and for always. But this dude, he went on a tirade on his social media after, after Dolly said this. And yes, called her a freak-titted bitch and said all kinds of just unforgettable things. Ben Bowen and Slut and said she betrayed her heritage of where she came from for Santa Black Loth, Matt.

and uh calling people defending or race traders and all that just all kinds of crazy shit and yeah you'll never believe that but that didn't go over very well and i'm saying like a lot of his fans i'm sure are also uh on the right and everything and he got ripped into like by pretty much everybody and you know rightfully so but also got fired by adult swim i'm not going to lie i didn't know that show was still going even though i had been a fan of it That shit must have been on for 15 years now. But either way, he, yeah, he got fired and shut down because, you know, you come at the queen. You best not miss, man.

Then he made another Facebook post. Of course, he's the victim. He's whying. You destroyed a good man. Right. But if you need your cartoon job that bad, don't run your mouth. Ace Woods, who joins us frequently, said he was late coming in today and asked if we had talked about the My Pillow, guy and his COVID cure. No, we have not. Mark, well, you know about this. I am aware of it,

but I haven't like read in detail on it. I briefly saw the clip of Anderson Cooper embarrassing the shit out of him calling on Snakewell salesman, basically being like, yeah, you're not a medical expert. They put you on the board of this company because you're the year of the president, now you're on here pushing it because you have a stake in the company. How do you sleep at night? which of course is a funny question that asked the Mike Miller guy. The, let me try to buy it. I don't even know what drug he was pushing. Was it hydroxythorkeland or was it the new one, the one that's a poison?

I don't know. Is it? Oh, A said something like Oli, Oliandria? Oh, yeah, there's a new one they're pushing. I guess that's that's that one. That's purely a poison. It's literally just the poison leave. I mean, which is like, look, legalize it.

There people are going to listen to the president to drink poison. I mean, a bit cold here, but it's like, I don't know, man, if people are begging and take poison, what do you do? Right. But also, like, and again, I saw this in brief earlier, but I didn't look into it in detail, but, like, is this guy really got, like, influence? like he's like he's pushing this poison cure but he's the fucking my pillow guy right like what

tray he's the he's the way house like every third day yeah um yeah i don't know what i'm talking about we were just on here a couple weeks ago talking about that uh that fucking ghost what that lady who was talking about being like raped in your dreams by ghost and that's where that's where sickness comes from or whatever and they're they were listening to to her so I'm sure they do listen to the My Pillow guy. It's historically been considered a poisonous plant. Ah, here's another one, yes. Robin Floyd, Robin Floyd said Taylor Swift also taught back to Trump.

That's true. Taylor Swift publicly commented on the whole post office thing, talking about how people should care and how it was a major issue and whatnot. And, like, look, first of all, I'm not, I don't listen to Taylor Swift's music, but I've always been the Taylor Swift Apologist and a lot of people love Taylor

but she gets some backlash for people who are too cool for her music or whatever else and I've always I've always been a Taylor Swift fan even though I don't listen to her music but also no matter what you think or feel about Taylor Swift like you cannot deny her

platform is fucking massive massive she's got 80 something million followers on Twitter or something like that a lot of which are young people who are not typically, you know, very politically engaged. So like I'm all for Taylor Swift coming out with some tweets like this.

Colin Trump out of his bullshit saying people should care about the post office, making them aware of it, all that type of thing. Like fucking you go to Swift. Think about the butterfly effect for a second of that moment 10 years ago or whenever when Obama called Kanye a jackass for interrupting Taylor Swift. Yeah. And how it turned Kanye into.

a Republican and made Taylor Swift get off her, uh, get off the fence and pick a side. Yeah, man. But, um, yeah, no, I'm all, you know, I, I, I ain't never went in for that. And obviously, I guess, you know, of course, this makes sense for me. But that whole, like, that whole thing of like, shut up and keep to your songs, you know, or like shut up and dribble, like that type of thing that people give to entertainers. You know what I'm saying? I've never understood that.

Like, you can think it's unfair that I think of like an actor of a bigger platform than you do personally. But like the people saying that are talking about politics. All the time. All the fucking time. It's just seems just their job. Like, just like you work at the, you're a plumber. You both talk about we both have political opinions. I don't understand why Taylor Fitness was.

So it's what you did what it was. You liked her music, but you don't want to, but you don't want to, to hurt it for you by telling you that you're stupid and you start. It's greedy. I think it just has to do with like they want to just like watch sports or whatever, and they get mad when an athlete has an opinion. You know what I mean? Basically just like a conservative who's a sports fan or is a music fan or whatever,

you know, they would just prefer them shut up because it ruins their enjoyment of it, you know, even though it doesn't make any sense logically, like you said, like everybody why do they have any less right to talk shit about politics than fucking you and your buddies at the highway department or whatever i mean there is like a huge asymmetry because the thing is like uh it's young people versus old people right old people are old people will consume entertainment they're like a 60 year old people watch college football right played by 18 to 21 year olds uh like people in the 30s and 40s want to listen to tap pop music which is something like teenagers so you just don't listen to opinions of people that are outside of your political demo even though you need to consume their contact you know um which is a problem

which is a problem with those people like I understand it I don't empathize but I understand uh George Mowdry said hell even Rihanna made fun of Trump this week on Twitter and I'm not familiar with that one but again I'm all for any of it if I can go in on him let me see I see here Taylor's Dina R.L. Ahmed said Taylor Swift commands the Twain Army during this revolution. Julie Rose, Taylor Swift is a good human regardless of what you think of her music. And yeah, I agree with all that. Scott Rayleigh says, I'm in my boxers and have Dorito crumbs in my chest hair.

Y'all can't see me, right? No, but you do you, Scott. The mascot of all of us during this pandemic, buddy. Corey has an all-account. Yeah, Corey probably waxes his chest, dude. He lays in tannin bed. He's got to do all those shirtless buttercream dream videos. You know, he's got to keep out of the show.

Let's see. I never know. Some of my ass. It's still a good in the videos. Limo Taco Poke says, are y'all on Twitch? I hate Facebook live. And then said, no DNC coverage. We talked about the DNC earlier in the show.

As far as the Twitch question, I'm going to be. honest about Twitch specifically. I don't know shit about it at all other than being sort of aware of what it is. But I will say, and I know we've been doing the show for a few weeks now and I still haven't done it. I do intend to like broaden the platforms of it once I sort of get a better handle on that. We don't have any producers or anything during this pandemic. It's just me and Mark and all the tech shit. I host them all and stream them all and everything. So all the tech shit is on me and a lot of that stuff as i've told you all for i'm real computer dumb i really am i'm trying i'm trying to get my my arms around it and we want to find a way to do it on everything all

at once so if you come here and watch it which we appreciate it won't affect you or anything but if you like uh like mr or mrs pokey there don't don't like to fuck with facebook live then you'd have other options like youtube and twitch and that type of thing so you know it's coming hopefully I'm trying to figure out. I'm just dumb. But anyway, and with that little PSA, I guess. Mark, you're ready to go?

It's 7 o'clock. Yeah, buddy. I'm going to watch some Yellowstone. All right. That sounds good. Well, thank you all very much for joining us. As always, again, sorry for last Thursday. We will be here this Thursday. That's another reason I need to figure out this other streaming thing. And so when shit happens like happened last Thursday, it won't just shut us down

because this won't be the only fucking platform we're working with. So, y'all are right, it's a good idea I'm going to continue to look into it. But either way, thank you for being here today. And we'll see you the day after tomorrow, right here, same place, same time, evening skews. I'm trying. That's Mark. Love you, bye.