wellRED podcast - Evening Skews - Week of 2/16/21 - MITCH AND TED SUCK

Episode Date: February 19, 2021

Well the title pretty well says it all, as this week's episodes were heavily focused on two of the Republicans' first ballot hall of fame pieces of shit: Mitch McConnell and Ted Cruz. Tons of good dumbasses and some fun pappaw-style weather talk, and hell even more! Hope you like it. 

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion. Because used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie, I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now. Skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people. People across the ske universe, I should say. Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year? Do you even know?

Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery? Getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low mane? Because that's a thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better, and it's called Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app

that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket Money shows all your expenses in one place, including subscriptions you already forgot about. If you see a subscription, you don't want anymore, Rocket Money will help you cancel it. Their dashboard lays out your whole financial picture,

including the due dates for all your bills and the pay days. In a way that's easier for you to digest, you can even automatically create, custom budgets based on your past spending. Rocket Money's 5 million members have saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscription with members saving up to $740 a year when they use all of the apps. Premium features. I used Rocket Money and realized that I had apparently been paying for two different

language learning services that I just wasn't using. So I was probably like, I should know Spanish. I'll learn Spanish. and I've just been paying to learn Spanish without practicing any Spanish for, you know, pertinent two years now or something like that. Also, a fun one, I'd said it before, but I got an app,

lovely little app where you could, you know, put your friend's faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies. You know, those weren't a little like the Q-ball-looking twin fellas. Yeah, so that was money. What was that a reply gift for?

Just when I did something stupid. Something fat, I think, and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first, but then I quit using it and was still paying for it and forgotten. If it wasn't for Rocket Money, I never would have even figured it out. So shout out to them. They help.

If you're money dumb like me, Rocket Money can help. So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney. dot com slash well read today that's rocket money.com slash well r e d rocketmoney.com slash well read and we thank them for sponsoring this episode of the podcast. Hey everybody. Welcome back. Today's Tuesday, February 16th, 2021. I'm Trey Crowder and that's Mark A.G. What's up, Mark? How'd your Valentine's Day go?

I was good, man. We ordered it some food and watched Barb and Star go to this. It's a Del Mar, which we thoroughly enjoyed a new Kristen Week movie. How about you? Could have been better. You know, I've been, as we talked about on here before, I think I've gotten into baking somewhat recently because I got hooked on that damn Great British Bake Off,

you know, it's something, man, I've watched the whole thing two times through. It's just something about it. I don't know. I can't stop watching it. And I've always liked to cook, and it's made me want to bake, and I've, like, tried to, I've convinced myself that I actually know how to bake. So on Valentine's Day, I tried to make some heart-shaped

heart-shaped cupcakes. They just looked like shitty Pac-mans with a bunch of pink icing on top that looked like piles of pink poop that weren't heart-shaped at all. It was a complete abysmal failure. But it's the thought that counts, Mark. Yeah, how they taste. They tasted fine. I was a little disappointed in that, too. I'm not going to lie to you. It just wasn't a good round. I don't know what to say, but it happens. I love the British Bacon Show, too. And I think it's pretty, it's so straightforward why people, why it's great that people just sort of like, overthinking it. But it's just people with pleasant people doing a pleasant

activity and being pleasant together. And that's it. Yes. I was on another podcast by buddy Joe Zimmerman, who's a wonderful comic in New York City from North Carolina, a good buddy of mine. I did his podcast and his co-host is a Brit. and the bakeoff got brought up and the Brit was saying he was like I love it when I hear Americans talk about the Great British

Bake Off because it sounds like they're talking about like heroin or opiates or something it's like it's just like it's like a warm blanket that I put on it's just like comforting and soothing and whatever you know and you do

get fully addicted to it so I could see I could see that Yeah, the American version of the show, the producers would be encouraging the contestants to throw pans at each other and squirt icing. And yeah, it'd be terrible. Right. Well, enough about that. Let's get into the show with, as always, producer Matt, doing his thing. This is the evening skews on tonight's episode, me and Mark, channel pap halls everywhere and talk about the weather for a while.

In case you've missed it, our beloved South has been ravaged by winter storms the past couple days and weirdly have not handled it. particularly well. Speaking of not handling things particularly well, Donald Trump's having problems dealing with the fact that he got acquitted of treason because they did it in a mean way. He's real pissed off at Mitch McConnell. We will, of course, talk about all that, and we will be joined by a friend of the show, Kentucky's own, noted singer-songwriter and hater of Mitch McConnell, S.G. Goodman.

All that and more on tonight's skews, but first is always the Daily Dumbass. Matt, traffic, please. So tonight's DD is anybody who actually believed that Donald Trump would let himself go after losing the White House. Recent images of the former president seem to indicate that he has packed on a fair amount of winter weight. But of course, that doesn't really make sense coming from a man who loves McDonald's and doesn't believe that exercise is real. So what could the explanation possibly be? Well, naturally, we turn to the QAnon community to help us out here. Matt, put up these screenshots, please.

So, read this for you guys. These are all Q&9 posts here. You can see regular Donald Trump on the top and fat Donald Trump on the bottom. And the caption says, real Trump versus double. Trump double 40 to 50 pounds heavier. Mark, they figured it out already. It's a big fat double. Yeah, the Trump has a body McDouble.

And by the way, if anybody, if anybody noticed, is that I put on a few pounds in quarantine. It is also because I have been replaced by body double. But the, so the theory goes, flip over the next slide, so that Trump's brother, who died a whole months ago from COVID, faked his death.

So he could replace Donald Trump and to be willing to take the bullet from the deep state from the assassination attempt that's coming. And Trump could continue fighting the pedophile cabal. That's how this works, I guess. Yes. And if you guys are actually watching, right now if you're watching the show you can see how they've clearly laid out their case with very convincing evidence made up of

really shitty graphics drawn and Photoshop connecting real Trump to real Trump and fat Trump to his brother in such a way that honestly would be hard to argue with you know if you're six but yeah yeah you can't this is literally you literally can't argue with this it's uh it's uh i i remember a got in a weird wormhole and it was a well browsing around some flat earth web pages one time and the case involved

it was like literally a drawing of the globe and it shows stick man walking off the side of the globe and falling down that's obviously how the world couldn't be around explain it mark

explain that you can't explain it that's what happens if you think that's how the world works then you're right yeah a lot of conversation on this subject in the Q and on boards they've got it figured out Matt put up the the third one there the third screenshot so these are some comments from the Q devotees wide awake uh says resembles his recently

departed brother then Tammy Bailey says I noticed it was a double on the golf course plus Q said he would be insulated lib bell adds I noticed that myself I thought it was a double and then Nancy DeMarco at the end says I noticed immediately I heard they tried to take him out by shooting in his bedroom window. Tempered Glass saved him. Do not believe for a second he's still anywhere public after that, Mark. Open your eyes, Mark, wake up. You mean, first of all, I'm some top-level Tammying.

You knew to be a Tammy involved in this. Yes. The names of that are put, yeah, the first two, the first two being wide awake and then a Tammy, just like chef's kiss. this is great because they think that Donald Trump's an amazing great selfless man who's giving his life to save these kids but also he'd throw his brother in front of him if somebody shot at him and that's that's what they put in his case.

Yeah, yeah. What better human shield than his own flesh and blood. Yeah, like I said, hard to argue with all that logic. He definitely would let his brother take a bull. for him. That is absolutely true. He'd let literally any of his children. Anybody take a bullet. Anybody wants to take a bullet for him. Step right up. He's on board. All right. Some honorable mentions for you, the Daily Dumbasses here. First one, you know, you know him, you love him. Dr. Fauci. That's right. He's being honored

for fucking up everybody's sex lives. That's what's happened. Matt, please play the clip whenever you have it. That's right, Dr. Anthony Fauci. The new dating trend, Fauciing, is when someone says no to a date because the person doesn't take coronavirus precautions seriously enough. Has this happened to you? Here with me now, Fox News Headlines 24-7 reporter Carly Shimkus. Fauciing? Yeah, you know, I thought that the Dr. Fauci Bobblehead doll was going to be the thing that cemented him in pop culture,

but having a whole dating trend named after you, my goodness, can you believe it? Yes. Does everything need a name, Mark? basically all they're talking about is turning someone down for being an irresponsible dip shit. I don't know why that needs to be classified as fouchying. That's a thing that smart people have been doing

in the dating community for a very long time. Yeah. So apparently, if you like to say, didn't want to sleep with someone because you know they get around a lot and perhaps they're being exposed to a lot of STDs, that now makes you judgmental and Fox News will cancel you for that.

right so yeah i mean i mean i know people that have been trying to date and have literally had to cancel dates with people because it's like oh they you know they they've been going to bars and stuff and i would go have dinner with them in the park or whatever but you know i can't so it is a real thing yeah that's a you know we've talked about before about being every married person of both genders all genders as long as you're married you understand you know what it's like having been cooped up with your beloved significant other for this amount of time it can become hard or at any relationship with this amount of time spent together you know but this this right here is one advantage that we do have though because I have to say like trying to navigate

the dating world right now in the era of COVID I don't I don't envy anybody who's going through that shit I'm not going to use the names I don't want to air you dirty laundry but one of our pals has a, has a spouse who doesn't take COVID very seriously while he does. So I'm just imagining it's trying to avoid sleep with his own wife because she's been going to senior frogs and shit. Yeah, yeah. It's rough out there. All right. Our next honorable mention for Daily Dumbass, Ted Cruz's Barber.

I'm calling it a dumbass, but honestly, I love this guy. Matt, put up the graphic, please. I love Ted Cruz's Barber. Look at that. What is that, dude? How is that even possible? That's like an attitude-era pro-wrestler haircut on Ted Cruz as he walks through the halls of the Capitol. My God.

It's like he got the Ivy League version of John Crux haircut in 1993. Like he looks like a relief pitcher for the Seattle Mariners in the mid-90. except like this thing like everybody in my high school had this haircut like the mid 90s they would have like except they would have their football numbers shaved in the side too yeah it's like it's like it's like only tag cruz could fuck up a mullet this bad do you know what i mean it's it's like that's that's mullet adjacent there but i don't want to disparage the the good name of the mullet hairstyle by calling this a mullet no he's the opposite of pulling it off, but I'm in favor of it.

I love it. I hope he keeps this haircut. The point of a mullah is it looks laid back in low maintenance. This is a right angle to it. Like it's like, it's like, it's like a perfectly coiffed mullet. It's like a Lego man mullet. I ask you to speak for Ted Cruz for a minute, an

impossible task. What do you think like he was, what was he going for with this? Like, how, literally how does this happen? He's a senator. I mean, from Texas, admittedly, but still, he's a senator. I mean, people, like, I live in Texas for a long time.

People, they got good hairstyles. I know. It was just a joke. I know. Here's the thing, like, if... Producer Matt says he did it himself. It looks good in the mirror. Maybe he says it was badass.

I mean, like, if you got that good of an angle by himself and more power to him, but, like, let's forget his Ted Cruz for a minute. If your buddy grew a beard, started getting wild haircuts, started a podcast like Ted Cruz did, you'd be like he's getting divorced, right? Midlife crisis, dude. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Don't listen to Ted Cruz's podcast.

It sucks, by the way. Yeah, we had a clip from Ted Cruz. We were going to show on a recent episode because of how ridiculous the shit he was saying was. And I put in the show notes and the document we keep. I was like, I was like, I want to talk about the shit he's saying because it's so offensively absurd. But my God, he sucks to listen to. Like, I don't know we can actually play this clip because it is a chore listening to him talk about stuff for any amount of time. But hey.

He's a boring, unlikable man. Yeah, exactly. But, you know, with a kick-ass haircut. That haircut is all. All the charisma he has is right there, baby. All right. So next up, I will mention Americans for not knowing about the biggest problem in their lives,

which is, of course, people being canceled. Not to worry, Republicans are coming to the rescue. They've set their sights on the idea of cancel culture. It's the new hot button topic on the American right, and they're coming for it. Matt,

you got the screen grab for that first one there. Yeah, This is in the back half of a, they pulled this because Republicans are basically going to run on cancel culture in 2022. So they pulled it and only half people know what the fuck it is because they have real shit going on their life. I don't care about actors getting fired for tweets or whatever. And here in California, a Republican by the name of Melissa, I forget it doesn't matter. She'll never get it passed. But she's trying to pass a bill.

They would make it illegal to fire people based on their political beliefs, which I'm sure Nazis will be happy about. I mean, look, most of the people that get fired for their political leanings are like, say, labor, people trying to organize their workplace to unionize. So that might be a good law. I don't think they'll never pass it because, look, let's say for a second, I work at like a Catholic high school and they want to fire me because they find out I'm gay. So first thing I'm going to do is register as a communist. Right. Right. and say they're firing me to be a communist,

which they wouldn't want to hire, they wouldn't want to employ a communist either. But Republican, we have at will employment in this country because the right wing likes it. You know? Yes. Yeah, it's a,

California where we both live, Republican state senator, who has a bill that, her name's Melissa Melendez. Melendez, Melendez, one of the two. Melissa Melendez introduced Senate Bill 238, also known as the,

diversity of thought act saying it would protect residents from being discriminated against based on their political beliefs i've said it a million times before and i'll say it again these people are immune to irony man like naming the you're allowed to say the n-word and not get uh you know any consequences for it act as the diversity of thought act is just like peak 21st century American republicanism. I don't know how they get attached to issues like this and just like become obsessed with it. Like Dan Crenshaw was tweeting about cancel culture shit and snowflakes earlier today. His state is freezing to death.

Like the government is supposed to do actual shit like deliver the mail and put fires out and not let people freeze to death when it gets cold if they have any control over it. and they just become obsessed with this shit that no one fucking cares about. Like I understand why like people working in a show business would think about this more than the average person because when you have a bigger platform, you say something stupid, it becomes a bigger story and it affects your life

in ways that you might think are unfair or outside of its consequences for whatever it was you did. I do not understand why like say a guy who works as a grocery store manager in Houston who doesn't have any power right now would give a fuck about this. It's like this stuff like no one we talked to this before but no one ever said canceled unironically. It was a joke. It was something like most slang comes from like a black people usually come with a term like somebody's a real housewife does something crazy.

All that girls cancel. And then it becomes a slang term that people say never meaning for it to have any consequences. The right wing hears about it. I think it's a real thing and it becomes, I don't know, it may be. Maybe there are too many social consequences for like, like somebody is a minor fuck up. The whole world hears about it. It becomes their first Google result for the rest of their lives. Maybe that is unfair.

I don't know what the solution is to the, and I definitely know what the government's going to do about it. Right. What's Congress going to do about cancel culture? They're going to like only, only a thousand people can tweet at this person. Then that's the limit. All right. So moving on our last honorable mention for Daily Dumbass, less anyone think we're being unfair to California state lawmakers.

I want to point out that my beloved home state of Tennessee is the goat of shitty stupid state legislatures, and they are continuing to stake their claim to that title. This very week, Matt, you put up the graphic, please. We've got us a new one there in my home state. Tennessee lawmakers introduced bill to allow fathers to veto abortions. It's from the same people that brought you, bill that would make it illegal to say the word gay in public schools and attempted to make the holy bible the official state book of tennessee state known for you know loving its books so this is

just what we do this is this and losing the college football mark this is just what we do we've got a new one here uh yes trying to make it trying to make it to where fathers can keep a woman from getting an abortion in the state of Tennessee. It's just any kind of attack on the concept of abortion, you know, that hasn't yet been done. That's what I think. Like, they have to come up with a new way to like, you know, make a splash if you're one of these guys. And this is, this is the current plan. Yeah, I mean, one, like, they always say that when, when feminists approach choice, people say the Republicans just want to control what men to control women's bodies, they say, no, it's actually a principal thing. And then they pass a law saying, no,

actually men should have control over women's bodies. Men should literally have control of those bodies. Secondly, men do have a veto point over when women get an abortion. It's called pulling out, right? You have an ability to stop this crime in progress if you're really

opposed to it. So yeah. So the way they've described how it will work is, it says if the man can prove that he is the biological father and that there is a, quote, reasonable probability that the woman

would obtain an abortion the court shall issue an injunction prohibiting her from terminating the pregnancy so you know that's not murky or gray area at all

yeah what's the reasonable was it 40% 45 who does the math here I want to meet the abortion mathematician I'm sure to these dudes what constituted a reasonable probability that they would get an abortion is just being a woman

who is pregnant know like yeah how far is she did she have to have made an appointment or she just googled the location of a plan parenthood what is what is it yeah what steps and furtherance of the process would be enough for him to go to get that junction um it's like there's another public slate legislator real quick like next door in georgia they're trying to pass like to seven republican co-sponsors put forward a bill that would uh by law determine the gender of everyone participating in school sports. I think probably doing it

via cheek swab and a DNA test to keep... No one is getting into women's sports because the idea that like I got cut from JV men's basketball

so now I'm going to go the highly profitable Joanna man route in front of make the WMBA is fucking idiotic. It doesn't make sense. Oh, well, that was hilarious. I have nothing else to say

other than that. Let's, moving on from The Daily Dumbasses, Mark, you're not from Texas, but you're kind of an adopted Texan. You live there for a long time. You had some very formative years in the state of Texas. So, won't you update us on what's going on in the Lone Star State where winter weather is concerned right now? It's not good. A little bit of snow puts Texas out of commission. A lot of snow and eight-degree temperatures will kill a bunch of people, what's everybody's worried about right now.

We don't know what's going on because everyone's power out. I'm assuming the lights come back on, we'll get more reports of who's actually, you know, suffered and died under this. But so four million people without power last time I saw a number, but calling us rolling blackouts, but they're not really rolling. They haven't had power in 48 hours.

And this is because, so I always wonder why electricity was so expensive when I lived there, and I didn't know it until I read about today. Because Texans spent like 30% more for electricity than the rest of the country, and not just because it's hotter there. I'm talking about per kilowatt. hour or whatever. The America has three power bridge. You got the east, east half the country,

the western half the country, and Texas. And Texas does this specifically so they don't have to be regulated by the Fed, so they can just build people a lot of more money, right? And Fox News is telling everyone it's because of windmills. It showed up that a screen grab if you got it. Yeah, Fox News. Yes, of course it's the windmills file. There you go. Yeah. The, so green energy failure, wind turbines freeze across Texas during winter storm. Didn't think about that, did you hippies? What happens when the windmills freeze up? Where are you going to be then?

Begging for coal to come back. That's where. I want to meet the person whose brain is detached from their body enough to believe that the problem with the Texas energy grid system is that it's two left wing and run by green hippies. This is absolutely fucking, like Texas has been moving into wind, all right? but this is the main problem is this is a natural disaster and Texas because Texas doesn't get this cold. They people do not have ice scrapers or snow shovels or chains for the tires or or any experience driving in this shit or a house is designed to keep heat in.

So on right. So on that note real quick, because I wanted to make it a point to say when we got into this subject that like I've always I've always gotten pretty defensive. regarding the South and snow and stuff because we always get shit on, you know, extensively whenever there is some kind of big snow thing, Snowmageddon and Atlanta a few years ago and that type of thing. And it's always kind of pissed me off

because I'd be like, look, why would we spend the resources on being prepared for that kind of thing when it almost never happens? And that's what I've always said. And I do still mostly feel that way, but I wonder like with climate change, change and all that type of shit coming, you know, like, is that not really true anymore? From the government's perspective, I don't expect your average Texan to know how to drive in the

snow. I don't have a fucking clue how to drive in the snow. I'm from Tennessee. I live in Southern California. But like, at the leadership level, that's not really that much of an excuse anymore. Is it like they probably should do something, shouldn't they? I mean, what I lived in California, in Texas, Trey, the western half of the state was ravaged by wildfires one year. And this is when Rick Perry was governor. And what Rick Perry did was cut the firefighting budget and call for a statewide day of prayer for rain. So I would not hold my breath that they're going to do stuff about any of this. Right.

So it's just fucking idiots in denial and insert. And they know better. They're just like, so big picture wise, wind is free. right so yeah these energy companies are moving into winds because it they're they love the environment they're doing it because like somebody who said earlier like even if you built a coal a coal fuel electric plant for free and gave it to a coal company energy company it would still be more expensive to run the coal plant than it would be a windmill farm that's that's if you don't have any startup costs which obviously isn't true and Texas also is a problem with like like

They live on natural gas and the natural gas pipelines are froze. The equipment that moves the gas around isn't built to withstand temperatures this cold. The whole grid is not built to keep houses 70 degrees warmer than it is outside. Besides the fact that the way the grid's designed is like they don't put enough electricity into it for a reason. They keep supply low so the rates will be higher. And it's also it's like it's like financialized and a really stupid way I don't understand. It's like the game stopped shit except it wasn't interesting enough. funny enough for me to learn about it, so I don't really understand it.

But you're not actually buying power when you pay your power of electricity. In Texas, you're buying a derivative of insurance based upon promise of future electricity or some really ridiculous shit like that. And it was that market that Enron was gaming when they collapsed. Like that's what their business model was, was game in the futures in that fucking electricity market. So a bunch of bad shit happened. Once in a lifetime, by the way, this is climate change. I don't really understand the details of it, but it's really warm in the Arctic right now,

and that front got pushed down to Texas, and that's why dumping an ice on this on the southern states. So I want to say before we get into SG and Mitch McConnell and all that, I wanted to make a point to make sure we mentioned this dude on here because how much I hate this motherfucker. And I didn't know he existed until a little bit earlier. But I said earlier, I don't expect any average Texan to know how to deal with snow because that's unreasonable. But apparently, it's not unreasonable. to everybody in Texas, including this Texas mayor who was not happy with his constituents for expecting the government to help them. Listen to this. His name's Tim Boyd. The city and county,

along with power providers, or any other service owes you nothing. All caps, nothing. I'm sick and tired of people looking for a damn handout. If you don't have electricity, you step up and come up with a game plan to help keep your family warm and safe. If you have no water, you deal with that. If you're sitting home in the cold because you have no power, you're sitting there waiting for somebody to come rescue you because you're lazy. It's a direct result of you're raising. Only the strong will survive and the weak will perish.

My God, dude. Vote for me. Vote for mayor. Yeah, right. Don't forget to vote for me. And next falls. Yeah. mayoral contest.

That's the mayor of Colorado City, Texas. By the way, people can't, people are, okay, so the pipes are designed for this. So people have had to leave their faucets running, so the pipes don't freeze and burst. So the water table's now low. So they're under a boil order

because they can't drink the water coming under their faucet because the water because they weren't through so much water trying to get through house from exploding with frozen pipes. But they can't boil the water because the fucking electricity is out. So people don't have water either.

And here's the guy, by the way, this is a state enforced monopoly. You could not buy from another power company if you wanted to. So this guy, like, you have no, I don't know what the say to that. Also, like, he, what does he think a mayor,

like this is an elected government official screaming at people just so you know, the government doesn't exist to do shit for you. The government don't do. anything for you and you shouldn't expect it to. And it's like, well, what even is the government then? What is it supposed to be from in this guy's perspective? He's a mayor. What's he supposed to do? Something COVID made perfectly clear to me, if you pay attention to a lot of conservative rhetoric, they seem to have like really like come around to conclusion that the purpose of

free market, free market capitalism is that we all work for the government. And I don't know what they understand. It's like the government doesn't owe you shit, but you better get out there for the fucking government. You owe the economy, your body, your soul, your life, all this shit so we can keep taxes low. It's a, I don't understand what they believe anymore. It's really bizarre. Okay. So on that note, speaking of not understanding what they actually believe or if they believe anything,

it's now time to talk about the weekend's big story, the acquittal of Donald Trump of inciting an insurrection by the U.S. Senate. notably the Republicans. Led, of course, as always, by Mitch McConnell from Kentucky. So for this conversation, we're going to bring in for a return visit. Very excited to have her. You guys know her you love her. Kentucky, from Hickman, Kentucky, singer-songwriter S.G. Goodman, whose album, Old Time Feeling, is out right now.

SG also, not a lot of love for Mitch McConnell. So let's get S.G. in here and break this down. Hey, SG, what's up? Good to see you again. You know, just sitting in here in my coveralls with my water running and, you know, all the stuff y'all just talked about. Facing God's wrath here in Kentucky for Mitch McConnell. Looking at over a foot of snow possibly by Thursday. Yeah, that's wild.

That's wild. All right. So, yes, you're born and raised Kentucky and Mitch McConnell, you're a U.S. senator. we've talked about him on the show before. But just to begin with, what's your general response to what he did on Saturday, i.e., voting to

acquit Donald Trump and then making a big speech, condemning Donald Trump, and literally straight up saying that Trump was responsible for the actions he had just voted to acquit him for. Like, how do you feel about that? I mean, I think it just goes hand in hand,

with everything Mitch McConnell is. I do think for the first time, really, in his political life, he's kind of come at a crossroads because after losing the majority through the Georgia race, you know, I think you learn the hard way. You play stupid games. You win stupid prizes. And it was kind of at this point where he realized that the Republican Party needed to distance themselves from Trump, that that wasn't the way out,

especially after what happened on January 6th. But the problem is, you know, he immediately faced backlash. You know, there's not going to be in 2024 the best thing. I mean, for a moment there, when he first came out on the floor on January 6th and said what he did about the insurrection, I kind of thought, well, actually, more specifically when he was talking about that he would entertainer, the articles of impeachment, I kind of thought we were going to, you know, see a curveball out of Mitch McConnell there for a minute. But as always, you know, that's a lost hope there.

But, you know, it's really by the book with him, in my opinion, that he closed the Senate down. He wouldn't come back in for an emergency session and then basically, you know, hinged everything on so-called rule of law with the constitutionality of the president being out of office. Right. What's funny. He refused to, you know, go forth with the proceedings while Trump was still the president. That was him. And then after that happened, he said, well, we can't possibly convict him because he's no

longer the president. So, yes, he's an expert at talking out of both sides of his mouth. and this was just more of the same. But I wonder, because like you said, like, you know, play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Just trying to look at some kind of silver lining for this. I feel like it seems like really this indicates

that Mitch knows they're in a precarious position on his side of things. Absolutely. He's got to do, he's got to try to do both things. He's got to try to please everybody at the same time because he feels if they don't, because he knows that they can't stand to lose even a sliver of their electorate, right?

So like he can't afford to piss off the Trump people, but he also can't afford to piss off the, you know, Wall Street type conservative people. They have to keep every single segment they have because if they lose even a fraction of them, then they're fucked, right? That's why I'm trying to tell myself that this means. Do you agree with that?

And that's why, oddly enough, Mitch McConnell being, you know, kind of the face of the Republican Party, in my opinion, even though a lot of people right now would say it's Donald Trump, he's kind of, you know, the old guard. Well, with him coming out publicly against Donald Trump right now, it's really exposed the fault line in the party. And that's why I say he won, voted against, you know, he voted to acquit him or, you know, he voted to acquit him. or, you know, he didn't go along with the impeachment there, but also then gave that statement to appease his big donors. That's what I believe has happened there. Because a lot of the big donors, I believe it was like AT&T, even the Koch brothers, for God's sakes,

we're like, we're going to have to look into things, you know. When money talks, Mitch McConnell listens, and that's about it. But at the end of the day, even though I was hoping that I could brag about the fact that Kentuckians voting in Mitch McConnell might have gotten Donald Trump impeached, where we know how that worked out. That didn't happen. Well, Kentuckians voting in Mitch McConnell may be the thing really that splits the Republican Party. Maybe we'll get this Patriot Party we've been hearing rumors about because Donald Trump, one of this first major statements after leaving office was just damning Mitch McConnell. And Mitch McConnell actually faced a slew of

Republican backlash here in my state, they tried to gather and make him take back his statement on the Senate floor here in Kentucky. Since you brought that up, Donald Trump is pretty upset at Mitch McConnell for absolving him of all responsibility, but in a mean fashion, it's made him upset. Matt, if you have those screen grabs of the... I got it. Yeah. So here it starts off.

It ends with a bunch of lies and stuff, but here's it starts. stuff pretty good. Republican Party can never again be respected with strong political leaders like Senator McConnell at its home. McConnell's dedication to business as usual, status quo policies together with his lack of political insight, wisdom skill, and personality, boom, as rapidly driven him for majority leader to minority leader will only get worse. You know, when the dude's right, he's right. You know, I don't know. Oh, yeah, yes. This is the most I've ever agreed with Donald Trump for sure. But like you said, he goes on to say a bunch of ridiculous bullshit that isn't true. But also like, I'm sure Trump signed off on this, but there's no way

he actually wrote this for a lot of reasons, but one of them is the third paragraph from the end. He says, Mitch is a dower, sullen, and unsmiling political hack, which I really appreciate that, I appreciate all that verbiage there,

but there's no fucking way Donald Trump actually wrote that. But either way, SG, yeah, Trump's, he's not happy with your boy there in Kentucky. So how, What's Mitch to do? I mean, well, that's going to be the thing.

And, I mean, what's Mitch to do? It's, we're going to see him either fall in line and start kissing Trump's ass again for some reason. Because, you know, we see Lindsey Graham already coming out and talking about MAGA, 204, 2004, 2022, all this shit. So I don't know. We'll see. I believe we can always count on one thing. You're going to have to pay attention.

to what the money says. And if the money wants to get behind Donald Trump again and all of his cronies, then that's where you'll find Mitch McConnell. Right. See, I agree with you completely. And that's why I think he's in such a precarious position right now because it seems to me that all the big money types, they love the tax cuts and stuff.

But it seemed to me like after the events of January 6th, a lot of them were like, oh shit, this is maybe getting a little bit too extreme. because, you know, fat, dumb, white revolutions are not good for business. You know what I mean? Like if they can't have everything fully actually collapsed because that's not good for the bottom line. So I feel like a lot of them kind of realize at that point, like, all right, maybe we should rain this in a little bit. So they're trying to rain Mitch in too, but at the same time, he can't piss off the Trump people, you know, in his party.

So, yeah, I just think it's, I think it's a tight rope that they have to walk right now and that he has to walk right now. that he has to walk right now. And I'm not at all taking it for granted that he'll fuck it up. I'm not, I ain't counting anything out. Like, they can come back, you know, I'm not, I ain't trying to jinx myself up here. I'm just saying, I think all this illustrates

that they're in a pretty shitty situation right now. And they know. I know. The one thing, though, that I will say, you know, Mitch McConnell, he has millions and millions of dollars in super PACs. you know, the Mitch McConnell funds and all this stuff. You know, he is a powerful person as far as political contributions to other politicians.

So it will be interesting because, you know, Trump after the whole, I mean, hell, he was sending, you know, letters and stuff to my mother asking for money for, for legal fees and stuff. Well, that's all gone to these different little packs and shit that he has. and he can actually, on some of that stuff, you can pay yourself out. So it's going to be real interesting to see how Mitch McConnell holds money over other people's heads and how Trump holds money over people's heads

as far as giving it to politicians who need it for real important races. But, you know, at the same time, I'll always believe this. Mitch McConnell is the most powerful still to this day as far, I mean, I mean, unless the Democrats get it together and just go now that the impeachment's over, I was not for this. I was like, can we just put the filibuster shit on hold for just a little bit so we don't get Mitch McConnell in an outrage?

But now I'm like, use the filibuster. Get it all done. Like, go ahead. Like, take them out. I mean, you know, we got to do this because if one thing is for certain, the Republicans are sleeping with publicists. they have got that shit down pat. Democrats have no idea how to spin a story publicly. So in two years, this whole thing,

we might have totally forgotten that, you know, a bunch of crazies storm the Capitol just with our, you know, who knows how good of a story the Republicans will spend between now and then. So we might be in more trouble than we are right now. Yeah, Mark, chime in on all this place. I mean, it's like one of those things where McCaul is incredibly powerful because all he wants to do is stop stuff. And the Senate, if you want to stop stuff, if you control 50 votes, you can do it, right?

One thing that happened this weekend is like, I don't know if he's a tactical genius anymore. Like whatever he did Saturday, he fucking blew up in his face. And it's pretty clear that Trump was a shoe in for the nomination in 2024 if he wants it. So I'm worried about like how violent 2024 is going to be right now if he runs. Although I listen to a podcast interview with his reporter. He says Steve Bannon told him Trump's on Alzheimer's medication. So maybe it'll stop problem to solve itself. I don't know.

I mean, you know, it's terrible to wish ill on people. But, you know, the blue hands may solve Mitch McConnell and the Alzheimer may solve, you know, Donald Trump, who knows. Well, his rapid, I don't know if you watch at the beginning, but his rapid weight gain is probably going to take him out before the brain does. Because he's getting weighed at such a rapid pace that his supporters have convinced themselves

he's his own body double. So that's a fun one. I want to ask USG, because this has come up on the show before we've talked about, there's this idea that there will be another Trump coming and the next Trump will be actually, you know, in competition.

competent and efficacious and that type of thing. And I'm wondering what you think about that because I'll tell you, like I go back and forth on that. I understand where that's coming from and I fear that. But I also think that like there's just something about Trump that I don't know that you can replicate with hard right focus groups and things like that. You know what I mean? Like I don't know if that will actually happen.

What do you think about that? I think, I mean, I'm online with you. I do feel like they are definitely more competent, very evil people in the world who can fill his shoes, you know. But as far as, I mean, I don't find him charismatic, but God knows that half of this country does. Right. And I don't know where that comes from, but I think we have been conditioned, or at least I haven't, but the half that has fallen suit have been conditioned through seeing him. him on TV and you know for years since the 80s we have been conditioned to think that Donald Trump is something special and I don't know if there's another person out there I

mean maybe Kanye I mean you know like he kind of has the same like the same kind of you know public eye bullshit going on but yeah I really don't think there will be another Donald Trump. It's just, it's too perfect of a formula to be able to recreate in a person. Right. I don't think you can do it on purpose, is what I mean.

You know what I mean? Like, you gotta just, you gotta just find that guy. Yeah, exactly. Like, you can't, you can't, yeah, make a formula out of it and give it to Holly or whatever and tell him to follow this formula because that's just not how it works.

It's just, it's just got a sort of the stars have to align in this horrific way for a Donald Trump to emerge in my opinion. Exactly like, you know, all the talk about his kids running and stuff. I mean, can you imagine Eric Trump like trying to go through the whole or like Don Jr. Or even Ivanka. I mean, I guess we've had an affinity for people like the Kennedys for a while, you know, but at least they were, you know, smart and for the most part. And, you know, so it was, I don't know, maybe there will be some kind of legacy stuff.

But our biggest hope is that, you know, unless they did pocket pardons for their kids and all this stuff, I mean, Donald Trump is a private citizen now. It sucks that private citizens are going to, as they rightfully sure, be punished for, you know, storming the capital. But he's a private citizen and he has a lot of lawsuits on him right now. We'll just see how he weasles himself out of those. But, you know, it's just, it's not over yet. And even though I've found it, I don't know if I can say I've found it can be peaceful that he's not on Twitter and socials because, but I have found an odd transition.

or it is an odd transition to not feel so irate every single day at something he said. It's very strange. I feel like it's almost like getting out. I mean, it is like getting out of an abusive relationship having to realize that you don't have to be in a cycle of turmoil all the time. But so who knows? I mean, if they were to let him back on Twitter during the impeachment trials, I bet he would be impeached.

He couldn't have, he couldn't have handled it. He would have said something crazy. He definitely would have done his thing, but he would have riled his people up even more. I have, even back at the Capitol. Yeah, I have one more thing I want to ask you before you go, but I want to ask Mark if he's got anything else before I do. Oh, I noticed that McConnell supported, There's a bill in front of Kentucky legislature right now to make sure,

because Kentucky is a Democratic governor. They're trying to pass a law to make us sure that if a senator dies in office, they have to appoint a member of the same party to the Senate to replace them. And McConnell supports that, so it makes me think that, I mean, these people do realize they're getting old. It seems to, you know, be sinking in. Yeah, I mean, we're in so much trouble. right now. I mean, we have

we have Rampal going up this primary and I really hope I feel like with everything Charles Booker has been kind of baiting us with on his socials and stuff and kind of going after Rann a little bit. God, I really hope that he runs against Rann because

he ever since he did his Senate race against McGrath man, hood to the hauler, if you haven't checked out that organization here in Kentucky do what you can for them because, you know, what Stacey Abrams did, you know, in Georgia and everything, we're trying to do it here too in Kentucky. Hood of the Hollers, an awesome resource. And, you know, Godspeed, you know, Charles Booker, hope to God we can get

Rand Paul out because, I mean, we're dealing with all kinds of crazy here. Yeah. So, well, so actually, that's actually the thing I was going to ask you about. And you've kind of covered it. But so I'm, you know, I'm a Tennessean. I live in California, but I don't consider myself a California and never will. I don't know. However people feel about that, I'm, you know, I feel like I'm out here putting the bass and ambassadors. That's what I'm trying to do. I still self-identifies as a Tennysonian very much. And we are not doing good lately at all, the exact opposite between fucking Marsha Blackburn and Bill Lee. It's just things are so bad. in Tennessee.

And so, you know, Kentucky, our beloved neighbor to the north. And I wanted to ask you, all this shit with Mitch and everything is going on, I wanted to ask how you were generally feeling about Kentucky and the future there. And you've obviously kind of touched on it. But if you have anything to add to that, please do. And then also, if you wouldn't mind, at the end of that, let people know where they can check you out and check your stuff out and find the album and whatnot. Well, self-promotion. All right.

Yeah. Got to do it. We'll see. Well, I mean, you know, I don't like to say like I'm an activist or any of that shit, because I think that's a title you get after you die. But I definitely will say that myself included and a lot of people in both Kentucky and Tennessee are, you know, having to sit with the fact that the majority of their neighbors are, you know, fall on into the stereotypes that people who are not from these places put on us.

And right now, people like me and other people fighting to make a change have to say, like, you're right. We are voting against our own self-interest. That is what we're doing here. And, you know, there's, I can give reasons of why historically that has happened and why we've been conditioned to do so. But one thing I'll say, go back full circle here to Mitch McCorm. Well, Mitch McConnell won, I think it was in 1985, his first Senate race.

After that, that was a pivotal moment in the Republican Party, and that was the start of the Republicans taking over the South. And Georgia winning, you know, two Democrats to the Senate. I'm really hoping to see the fact that I hope to God, that the Democrats have seen, as the Republicans did back in the 80s, a way to take back over this territory. So I think there are plenty of programs and really good people who can fill these asshole seats. We just got to get it together, get our story straight, preach it, and live it. I'm not going to quit believing in it, you know. So that's where I stand on it.

but I thank you boys for having me. And I'm S.G. Goodman. I am Western Kentucky Girl. And you can find me on all the socials. S.G. Goodman, K.Y. on Instagram. You can check, you can buy my new record if you want to. I mean, it's been a pandemic, you know. Treat yourself.

You can find me on all the streaming sites too. But, you know, if you had a little, of that a jump change from the government you know I'd appreciate you snagging an album and everything I'm proud of it so I appreciate it absolutely no we yeah thank you for joining us again it's always a pleasure SG yeah alright and I also am trying to maintain your optimism I'm not giving up on it either so

it's hard to do but you know that's that's our that's kind of the only choice we have what choice do we have exactly yeah it's like vote over and die or just you know keep trying to make things better so here we go all right absolutely thank you all so much thank you s gubbin everybody

uh marty you're not for break go ahead oh it's a little bit of breaking news our favorite mayor we talked about earlier told us all the people who voted for him to fuck off and die yeah oh shit what happened yeah i mean we read what happened

he said so apparently people got mad at him for him telling him he didn't care if they died. Imagine that. Yeah. Cancel culture, Mark. He's getting cancer. Tim Boy. Mayor got canceled.

All he did was tell people that they freeze to death. It's their own goddamn fault. And they should have to say the government to take care of them. And if you do expect it, you're a fucking lazy piece of shit. Yeah. And the question becomes, Yeah. I mean, I wish I could get elected to a job.

give me a job and then I spent my entire time in that job telling you that my job isn't to do anything. It's great. All right. So Matt, producer Matt, you start throwing up some comments and questions as you see them while we're waiting on just wondering how optimistic people are feeling, I guess, generally. Because I know you can go one of two ways right now. Like this week on the well-read podcast with Corey Forrester and Drew Morgan, we were talking about this. and they were both feeling pretty pessimistic. Corey said he was feeling as pessimistic as he ever has.

And I just, I don't know if it's just me trying to tell myself something different, but I just, I don't know. Yes, things are fucking terrible. Don't give me wrong. But I don't know. I think things are objectively better than they were a few months ago in terms of the political situation in this country. And the Democrats can fuck it up, and I'm sure they probably will.

But I think there's reason for optimism. I really do. I don't know how you feel. about it, Mark, probably not. I go back and forth, depending on the day. I mean, like, it's like in the, in the, is short term, medium term, long term, right?

Short term, things are going to get a little better. Medium term, things could get a lot better. Long term, unless somebody realizes that there are a lot of structural problems with America, we're just absolutely fucked. Like, I mean, if they, like, if they really hang on to the filibuster and don't pass HR1, the new voting rights act, then Republican,

We're headed towards one party rule. It'll be like, I forget the word for it, but there's a type of democracy where it's like, we have elections, but nothing that never really changes. It's just sort of like roots and recognized. Democrats have 40 Senate seats and be a minority in the house. And just be the way it is. It'd be really hard to vote if you're poor.

There'll be like one polling place in black counties. It'll be, it will just be stuck here. I mean, like, look at COVID, I thought people would look at, understand what happened during COVID, how the government fucking failed. Like we can't, it just can't do stuff. Like I saw the administration's trying to negotiate with Amazon to deliver vaccines.

It's like, you have the army. You have the post office. The post office delivered shit for Amazon. Like you're the biggest supply chain logistics network on the planet. Why can't you figure out how to do this? Why is Jeff Bezos got to bail you out? What is Texas what's going on there is a huge government failure?

And they're already blaming the wrong people. Marks real quick so producer Matt texted this and said he's having some kind of issues with the with the comments but I saw a question over here for you Mark said Mark talk about the Q event of March 4th we've talked about

I mean I don't know if there's any updates they expect Trump to be inaugurated on the original the original inauguration date in the Constitution was March 4th they moved it up after they realizing that a six month transition was way too long Honestly, two months is too long. As we saw this time, you can still get a bad actor.

Can cause a lot of damage in two months of a lame duck period. All right. So another comment here, Matt put it in our chat here from Mary Klasky, Shancy. Sorry, Mary. I'm sure I fucked that up. Mary said, not super optimistic, but more so than if dump, Donald Trump, was still polluting the Oval Office. and I mean, yeah, that's kind of what I'm saying.

Like, I'm fully aware of things are not good, but it's just, I mean, it's, imagine if he had won or successfully, you know, seize the government. Imagine that shit. That shit, like, kind of almost happened. Imagine if that had happened. Like, worse that would be. At least we're not there. It's a low bar.

I'm aware it's a low bar, but, you know. And we talked about before, like, it goes against all Biden's instincts to do the stuff he's doing right now. But it could be the right man for the job precisely because he's been there long enough to see that shit doesn't work anymore. Right. So like if give her the filibuster, past HR1, $2,000 stimulus checks, $1, $1,000 or whatever, better unemployment, $15 minimum wage. Democrats are popular in 2022. They're fair maps because Republicans weren't allowed to gerrymander all to shit. So to keep the House and the Senate

Two more years of Biden I don't know if he's going to run for a second term or not because he's so old But then it's like the world looks a lot different than the people see Oh, the government is capable of doing stuff Maybe we can do stuff like rebuild our power grid Or collapsing bridges and infrastructure invest in schools and health care Or the other road is we keep the filibuster Republicans take back everything in two years

And we have one party rule the rest of our lives So kind of on the note of you like the idea of illustrilege that things can actually work and work well. I saw a comment over here from John Romero said one of our structural issues in this country is that half of the populace is brainwashed to believe that any differing opinion from their own is not true or is false or whatever. And it's all this shit going on with Q and fake news and all that stuff and people just not believing it. do you think that like if because Democrats are kind of in power right now

Joe Biden's may have executive order they seem to be trying to do shit which I appreciate if they do shit and it does actually work I also want to believe that that will matter that when people's lives get better that will matter

but with all this fake news a conspiracy shit that's happened like do you think that that you know the hard liners on the other side will will, you know, stand opposed regardless, no matter what happens. I mean, they're always going to be crazy, is there always going to be hardliners. The danger of Q is it put all the crazy people in one cinematic universe, right?

And it gave them similar marching orders. Like, you got flat authors, anti-vaxers, oathkeepers, three percent militia guys, yoga moms. It's like, usually you would, all those people would be in different little pockets. And they wouldn't be making plans to overthrow the government, right? So, but one funny story, we didn't get into it in the dumbasses, but a bunch of far-right groups are turning at each other because so many of them have flipped, they all assume each other are FBI informants. So like a lot of the proud boys chapters are breaking off from the national group and people are like not talking to it. So it's like zealots, that's the natural state of fanatics is to not trust each other too. Right.

So if they go back to their natural state, there's always going to be crazy people. we just can't have them all the same team. Yeah. All right. So we'll leave y'all with this comment from Susan Lewis who says, I'm with SG. It's such a relief to not wake up every morning, wondering what fresh new hell our president will bring today.

And I agree with you, Susan. The news is slightly less unpleasant to read. And it's like not having, it's so funny to me, the reporters keep asking, Jen Sipsaki, all these like culture works. questions and she just doesn't answer. I'm like like the shit trump will weigh in on like who's who should won the short language

film win best picture. Shit like that like people standing and kneeling for the anthem. It's just like not dealing it. They just just not having somebody doesn't pour gasoline on every stupid controversy we have in this country. It does make life in general more pleasant. It's still not material change. I would hope it lead. Focusing important issues

will lead to material change is the hope. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, here's hoping. All right. As a reminder, as always when we, uh, Starting in March, we're going to go to just Tuesdays, just Tuesday format. But we will be here Thursday for the rest of February. We'll be here Tuesdays and Thursdays, including this Thursday, February 18th at Five Pacific. Like always, so please join us once again on evening skews. I'm Trey and that's Mark.

Thank you, see you, love you by. Later. Well, hello there. Thanks for joining us. Today's Thursday, February 18th, 2021. I'm Trey Crowder. That's Mark Aegee. What's up, Mark?

Well, as I'm trying, you enjoy the, you know, I'm enjoying the wrong word. I actually feel guilty over how nice the weather is today. Right, yes, yes, because we're both from, you know, the South. You lived in Texas for years. I'm from Tennessee, and it's just a frigid hellscape back home. And yeah, I know exactly what you mean because every time I've checked in or talked to my people back home, my sister, me, ma'am, my best friend, whatever, they'll just like being human beings, he'll be like, you know, like, what's the weather like out there?

And I got to be like, oh, I mean, the wind's been blowing pretty hard. So that's, that's rough on us. But, you know, otherwise, 68 and sunny, it's the, you know, still paradise. I feel like, like, I feel like it's just answering the question. I feel guilty just for that, for the weather being what it is out here. I talked to my mom the other day, and she was talking about, I think she's the wood stove to heat the, to help to accentuate the heat pump, you know, help out with it, keep cost down. And it's like, I'm a nephew bringing up firewood and like the chimney got clogged and smoke went and smoke filled up the house.

And I'm like, yeah, I went to the park today. It was nice. Yeah. Yeah. My sister, my sister, she's in Central Virginia too. She was posting on Facebook. Social media adds to all kinds of Survivors Guild, right? It also adds to like jealousy when you see all the shit rich people are up to.

But my sister's like posting recipe questions. Like, what's a good thing to cook when you don't have any electricity for four days? And it's 25 degrees out. And I'm like, I don't know, like a house pet over radiator. Things, it's just sweet here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, you know, you said before the show, like, I mean, we can't control the weather. We just have to, you know, we just report it, Mark. That's all. Yeah. So I love you, Lauren. Stay safe. Get the power back. Yeah.

So, real quick. So we still don't know what happened. This has happened before, but only a couple times. But on the previous episode, we were, for some reason, it wasn't transmitting or streaming to YouTube well or at all. We don't know why. It's not the first time it's happened. But I think we're doing okay tonight. But I just wanted to acknowledge that and say, you know, sorry about that.

We didn't do anything different on our end. Sometimes things just fuck up. You know how we are. It's happened to us a bunch over here. Yeah. But hopefully we're okay moving forward. So it's a wild world when all of us make our living on the internet and maybe three of us know how it works.

Yeah, right. So with that said, let's get into the show with us as always, producer Matt doing his thing. This is evening skews. Now listen, let's just say it up top. We all know. Tonight's Daily Dumbass, of course, is noted Texas human skin-wearing reptilian senator Ted Cruz,

who tried to start spring break a little early this week and head to Cancun in the midst of the biggest crisis his state has faced in a long time. But the thing is, we believe that Ted Cruz's dumbassery is so profound and pronoun. And the context of it is such that he deserves more than just the daily dumbass honorific up top. He's the, you know, he's at least the dumbass of the year so far. Maybe the dumbass of the century. we'll talk about it later. That's my point.

We're going to get into it in further detail a little bit later on. So we're breaking with tradition and covering our daily dumbass honorable mentions first. So with that in mind, Matt, play the graphic, please. That I believe. There we go. Hey, producer base got a lot going on, guys. He's trying to monitor the YouTube situation. He's doing his best.

But anyway, yes. So tonight's first honorable mention. is Steve Bannon for apparently thinking that having Rudy Giuliani tell a story about himself and Rush Limbaugh would somehow end up being anything other than super fucking gross. If you don't know what I'm talking about, we'll just play the clip. Matt, please. Do you have time for a funny story? Yeah, we got about a minute. I get this one done in a minute.

Every once in a while, I was always his partner. So we'd always ride together. He always wanted me to drive because he wanted to be smoking cigars. So one day we're driving in this paparazzi are driving us crazy. They're taking pictures, they're taking pictures and taking pictures. And he said, Giuliani, what did you do now? They're all following you around. You know how I hate me.

Pictures taken. I know you're famous, but damn, can't you tell him to stay away? He's like growling. And I say, you just come up to the, come up to the, green with me come on the green is Michelle we and she's getting ready to putt now Michelle we is gorgeous she's six feet and she has a strange putting stance she also probably would have 18 years old this point which is important and her panties show oh god was going crazy look at ban on because they were trying to take yeah even he's

uncomfortable with those right I said Roger it's not Roger not you for panties. Yeah. Is that okay to tell that joke? I'm not sure. First of all, not a joke. I don't know. Dude, so, okay.

First of all, the person who tweeted that outset noted the fact that he says Roger in the story, but given the context on both sides of that story, it was clearly a story about Rush Limbaugh. I guess he just mixes up Rush with Roger Stone and whoever else. There's somebody I found a picture from that day in that thread. It was like, Roger Ailes was with them too. Oh, okay. Yeah.

Jesus Christ. So the context of this, remember, Roger Ailes has been outed as a full on pervert. Great. Perber. Absolutely. Yeah. Right. Wrestling ball has had four wives and once got arrested coming back in the country with

an illegal viagor description that wasn't his. So these are all famous perverts, right? And they were doing this golf tournament where they paid to play with a professional. And they got Michelle Wee, who at this one. at this moment, she was born in 89, so that makes her 31. She hasn't her birthday yet this year, right? So she's 31 now, but at that point would have been younger. And the paparacha...

She became famous and popular and successful as a teenager. As a teenager. As a teenager. Golf world, yeah. Yeah. So if there's a point where paparazzi are falling around, this is probably her teen years when she was a phenom, right? So they're taking pictures of her panty line,

and Rudy Giuliani is laughing about it and giggling with bunch of fucking 65 year olds instead of telling her to, hey, you're, yeah, your butt showing or whatever. Man,

when, when Steve Bannon is disgusted, when Steve Bannon is like visibly upset by the story you're telling, like, yeah,

that's, that's tough sledding there. I mean, look, just everybody knows, he's only upset because he's like, oh,

someone's going to tweet this and it's going to be all the thing. And he says, he gives a fuck. But still, the point is, even Steve Bannon knew this was a bad idea immediately. Yeah, that's pretty gross. Yeah. Like, it's Steve Bannon, who's like, it looks like the, like the Mucenex guy, when he's grossed out by something.

You can fucking, you know. Yeah. Yeah, I remember those commercials. He does look like that. Yeah. Remember the toenail? He also looks like the toenail fungus, though the anthropomorphic tonal fungus? Yeah.

Anthroponic animated fungus or snot. Yes. That's Steve Bannon in a nutshell. So our next honorable mention, becoming a bit of a mainstay in the Daily Dumbass segment of our show, Colorado Representative Lauren Bobert, who is actually being honored tonight for a couple different reasons. So the first one is because of her contribution to a committee meeting,

a congressional committee meeting on the subject of having, firearms in congressional hearings. So with that context, probably the clip plays my half. But necessary that we lay down these ground rules that whatever your fetishes or feelings are about guns, you're not going to bring them into our committee room. You don't need them there for your own safety.

Many of us feel like it threatens our safety, and that's just not going to be allowed. And that's entirely appropriate and unfortunately necessary, Mr. Chairman. so I support this amendment. I support the rule, not the amendment. Mr. Chairman, I would like to be recognized. Yeah, you would.

Hang on. Look at it. God damn it. All right. So everybody that's only listening, we apologize, but there's no other way to convey this. She says it's on California representative being very rational. And then you can hear her voice say,

I would like to be recognized. It takes Zoom a minute to switch over to her. So there's a moment of silence there, and then it switches over to her, and what you see is just a literal arsenal of firearms. Yeah, there's a screenshot there. There's like two assault rifles crossed in a skull and crossbones type of fashion right behind your head. There's at least one handgun, a shotgun underneath that.

I can't even count the number of guns. she has on her. Also, what appears to be a bookshelf, by the way. So I appreciate that touch, too. There are some books. I assume they're all, you know, Ayn Rand type things or whatever, but most of her bookshelf space is taken up with heavy-duty firearms. Yeah, I mean, the shotgun is the one that makes me laugh,

because the other two are, like, putting, like, a nice design. And then she also, oh, there's room here for another gun, so just, like, we'll just, specifically, Graham that is shotgun. And somebody was like, why are you decorating your room with shotguns? Oh, they're not just decorative. They're loaded and ready to. But you only got two hands, stupid.

What kind of tactical situation you get into in your Zoom room? Yeah, all this stuff is just aesthetic flexing. It's conspicuous consumption, right? It's like taking a selfie on the beat. Yes, of course. They just, but what if you were to come back to tonight is how extremely online conservatives are, they think their whole job is a shippost, you know, even when they're elected officials. So that's the world we live in now.

Yeah, so like we said, not the only reason we're honoring Congresswoman Bobert tonight. She also, this week, came after Bill Gates, after Mr. Gates posited that, in his opinion, every rich country, every wealthy country should be working on transitioning to synthetic beef because raising beef is, very bad for the environment and just a lot of reasons. And they're getting close to being able to synthesize it on these higher levels. And he said, in his opinion, that's what we should be moving towards in the future. And this, Matt, if you have the screen grab, is what her response to that was. It's just a tweet from her with a picture of a big ass rabbi. And it just says, come and take it, Bill.

and then after that Lobels of New York the Steakhouse who took this actual picture said we've reached out to Lauren about the unauthorized use of our photo but haven't heard back yet Twitter doesn't seem to have a way of report a post

for copyright violations so she takes a picture of a rabbi and says come and take it Bill you know because that's one of their favorite phrases and it turns out like that's not her actual meat She just like gogled, really hitting Ribby on the internet and took an unauthorized picture from a steakhouse who was pissed off about it. So, yeah, checking a lot of boxes.

She didn't even have a steak. She's challenging Bill Gates to come and get a steak. She doesn't have. Like, do you, don't you have a fucking job? It's like, I don't understand what these people think being elected in the public office is or what they think Bill Gates is. Like he just made a suggestion in like a podcast interview that if you if you if you try fake meat, if you like it as much, maybe cut out all the death and environmental damage. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't try it. I like a steak. I love steak. I love hamburgers. Um, I like some beef sausage. But if, if I could have the same experience without killing something.

Exactly. So on that note, and I, if anybody watching the scene saw me live in the before times, you know, in the few months leading up to this. you all know that I have a bit about this, a full disclosure, but yeah, I, if, like,

what do I care? The idea that, like, anybody would be weirded out by eating meat grown in a lab, you know, it's like, uh,

when I was a kid, I ate potted meat from my uncle bubbles his pantry or whatever and squirrels that he shot. Like, I don't, yes,

I'll absolutely eat synthetic meat. I don't give a shit. Like, if, it's like, you say if you have the same experience, if it tastes the same, why would anyone care? I don't understand it. But also,

again, the caption, come and take it, Bill. Like, is this going to be the next thing that liberals are coming for? Mark, you know, like, they're coming for your guns and your steaks and your hamburgers. So everybody look out. Yeah, AOC fucked up and made that a meme

and the Green New Deal. We're going to take your cows and shits. And everybody thinks it's going to happen. Like, like, look at a fake meat. I'm not going to be a test subject. I'm not going to go first. but once everybody has it and doesn't grow gills or whatever, I'll try it and if I like it is good, who cares? I love the hills they're willing to die on.

Right. Literally, she'll fucking shoot, come and take it. She'll defend her fucking steak, the point of a gun. Producer Matt's pointing out, it was a New York steak, that picture is from a New York steakhouse, and she's from Colorado.

So, I mean, that seems pretty offensive too, Mark. If you're a red-blooded God-fearing Colorado and conservative, the idea that she went for a New York steak as opposed to a good homegrown piece of Colorado cow. I don't know what she was thinking. It's a downright scandal. She's eating liberal Jew George Soros steak. You know, she should be in trouble for that. Yeah.

All right. Our next arm will mention, I don't, these two dudes, Matt, you can put up the screen grab me. Yeah, yes, here we go. men in Florida posed as U.S. marshals to avoid wearing mask for COVID. They were staying at a hotel. Two men are accused of pretending to be federal marshals and flashing phony credentials to get out of wearing facial coverings at a South Florida resort hotel. Walter Wayne Brown Jr., which seems very on the nose,

just like it's one of those like you know that's just a perfect name Walter Wayne Brown Jr. Except for the fact that he stayed long term in a South Florida Resort Hotel. That's the only thing that fucks me up. He's 53 and Gary Brumet who's 81

used this ruse to keep from having to cover their faces. So they committed a felony just so they wouldn't have to cover their face up. Yeah. Brummit when he went to the front desk the manager asked him he asked him once to put a mask on

and Brumet pulled out a laminated card that said he was medically exempt from wearing a mask and when the manager reiterated the request he pointed to a badge he was wearing on his belt and said do you know what this means? I'm a U.S. Marshal and I can have you arrested if you force me to wear a mask

and who could argue with that, Mark? Yeah, this unfolded over a course of days too. Like they repeatedly threaten the staff Like the staff didn't call the cops at first, but like the third or fourth time, like, hey, buddy, put on a mask and like, I'm going to put you in my special U.S. martial anti-mask jail. They're like, okay, they call the cops just because they're being annoying. And now these guys are going to go to prison. Right. I don't understand these fucking people at all.

It's a cloth mask. Shut the fuck up. So I, just reporting the facts here, y'all. On the subject of their mask, they were wearing, quote, authentic appearance. circular badges and those badges read Cherokee Nation Marshall. So I feel like if you are of a sufficiently white trash background, you know the tendency among our people to claim native ancestry for some reason. There's a famous, yeah, there's a famous, what do you call 16 rednecks in a room, a full-blooded

Cherokee. It's definitely so that really adds to just the flavor, the sauce of this story. Yeah. When Tim McGrath saying he was an Indian outlaw, who's really speaking on behalf of all of us. But it's not just like

when the whole thing happened with Elizabeth Warren, obviously taking the DNA test was stupid, but every redneck immediately understood what would happen. She believed her me ma'am. That's all that. happened. Yeah, right. Yeah. My dad always told us we were one-sixth check. I thought me, the real send there was maybe Liz should have her Harvard degree taken away or whatever. Yeah. It would be in that naive.

Real quick, just because you brought it up. Side note, this has always killed me. I heard this on like VH1, pop-up video behind the music or something like that when I was a kid, and I never forgot it because I thought it was so funny. I'm not saying this is true, and I don't have a source for it. I just remember hearing this. You mentioned Indian Outlaw with Tim McGrawl. The story they talked. because that was Tim McGraw's first big hit. And the story they told was that Tim McGraw kind of finagled his way into a meeting with a record label executive,

uh, illegitimately, sort of. And when he got in there, he played Indian outlaw for him. So like, he took this huge risk and got in there and he penned everything on Indian outlaw. And that's just always been so funny to me that he was like,

if I can just get Indian outlaw in front of these people, then, you know, it'll be a done deal. But I mean, that was true, and it worked like a charm, and it was a massive hit. So obviously he was correct, but it's always been so funny. But you picture that as like a scene in a movie. He's in the lobby, sweating bullets, you know, nervous about this meeting with a record guy. And he's walking in there knowing that his entire future,

everything hinges on the song Indian Outlaw, Which if anybody's watching, you don't know the song we're talking about, I surely most of y'all do. But if you don't, please look it up. It is hilarious and done. But, you know, slap for me when I was a kid. I loved it. I saw a new story of the day.

Him and Faith Hill are selling the island they have in the Bahamas or whatever. So if that meeting doesn't go right, he doesn't have his own island. But it did, so he does. And that's how life goes. Okay, so, all right, next up on the honorable mentions, anybody who thought that you would be able to hunt mythological creatures in the state of Oklahoma without having a proper license, Matt,

if you put the screen grab up whenever you have it, yes, an Oklahoma State representative has proposed a bigfoot hunting season, complete with Bigfoot hunting licenses, but he's meeting some pushback on that was some people saying that that creature is not officially recognized by, you know, reality. But, Matt, if you have that video, go ahead and play it whenever you have it because I think it's funny. It pretty much says what the story is. The funny part of the bet, the news coverage of it is how matter of fact the anchor's voice is.

She's reading this like it's a real thing. It's just like so fucking funny to me. But this guy. Justin Humphrey wants Oklahoma to establish a Bigfoot hunting season. Humphrey introduced House Bill 1648 on Wednesday. Under the bill, state officials would draft rules for the season, annual dates, and create any necessary hunting licenses and fees. If passed, the bill would go into effect on November 1st of this year.

The next legislative session starts on February 1st. Look, I have mixed feelings about this. The first confusing part about it to me is that weed's not even legal in Oklahoma, so that's fucking amazing this guy came up with this idea. Secondly, I mean, I mean, I'm not. Honestly, I'm pro for it. Like, if you, if you can, a bunch of dumbass, like, uh, uh, uh, they're always white, these bigfoot hunters, weirdos want to come to your state as tourists to hunt bigfoot,

charge them some money for it. I mean, put it towards textbooks. I don't give a shit. Sure. His name's, it's representative Justin Humphrey. And here's part of his rationale for it, Mark. He said, quote, a lot of people don't believe in Bigfoot, but a lot of people do. Just like some people like to go deer hunting, while some,

people don't pretty much the exact same thing you can understand you know the one-to-one analogy there but no i mean i'm with you hell i mean i hadn't thought about that way but i mean you make a you make a fair point if people are willing to pay you to hunt for bigfoot then you know take it for more revenue but people are hunting bigfoot just to look at it right to prove he exists like you don't need a lot you don't you don't need a license to go look at deer are they actually trying to kill bigfoot because it's a whole different type of bigfoot hunter not you know i mean i don't know You know, look, I'm not that up to date on the inner workings of the Bigfoot community or anything. But you're talking about, like, people who hunt in Oklahoma and states, like,

I think a good number of them would absolutely shoot Bigfoot immediately if they saw him. You don't think they would? If they're out there with a gun hunting and Bigfoot walks up, they're going to shoot the shit out of Bigfoot, dude. Who else has got a Bigfoot mounted in their, you know, man cave? not nobody mark if a same person saw if a same person saw a bigfoot they would absolutely fucking shoot it the people out of the woods hunting for bigfoot are insane and they're not looking for it to be to shoot it they're looking for it to be friends with it so uh they want to like they want to be buddies and prove that they tell the relatives they're right i feel like

it's two different communities who's ven diagram i'm sure overlaps some but you got like bigfoot enthusiast you know who yes they just want to catalog his existence and prove to the world their idiocy for disbelieving this for so long. But then you got people who are, you know, just hunting otherwise and wanted to get a Bigfoot license just in case he shows up in the state of Oklahoma. And if he does, they're going to take his ass out, I think. You know, I feel like maybe we spent a little too much time debating this particular subject, Mark.

The only likely becoming relevant ever. The only person I've ever heard of hunting Bigfoot to kill him was a great sense. Samillian movie called The Man Who Killed Hitler, then killed Bigfoot. I'm going to butcher the name. That's something like that. It's a good movie, but I've never heard of anyone else trying to kill Bigfoot. Okay. Okay, so our last honor will mention before we get into the Big Dog, Ted Cruz.

Obviously, Rush Limbaugh, whatever. We all know what happened with him. But he's a dumb ass for making his life about himself instead of just about Donald Trump. Here's what Donald Trump had to say when he was giving his sort of eulogy-like remarks on Fox News, where it comes to his good friend and longtime supporter, Rush Limbaugh. Harris, what did Rush Limbaugh tell you after the election of November 3rd? What were those conversations like? Well, Rush thought we won.

And so do I, by the way. I think we won. Broke his heart, Trey, killed him. Trump losing killed Rush. He thought it was over at 10 o'clock, 1030. It was over. And a lot of other people feel that way, too. But Rush felt that way strongly.

And many people do. Many professionals do. Professional people. And I don't think that could have happened to a Democrat. You would have had them. You would have had riots going all over the place. If that happened to a Democrat, we don't have the same support. They feel the same way.

The same way that Trump and is. Dearyly Departial of Trump and Rush Limbaugh. But we have great people as Republicans. He's obviously heartbroken over losing his good buddy. Yes. I think, do you remember his brother died and he called it to Fox and the eulogy he gave was about how big of a fan of him his brother was? Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. His brother's not dead.

He packed all that weight and he's serving as Trump's double right now. Yeah, yeah, as we talked about the Tuesday's episode. Yeah, yeah, he's a, he's too, he's not so bad. He knew his brother wasn't dead. He was actually coming to serve him in a covert op, you know, so why, yeah. If you didn't see the last episode, Q and on, they genuinely believe what I just said to be true. Yeah. So I just love this man's ability to make other people's eulogy about himself.

Like, it's like basically, what if you died and I stood up at your funeral? I was like, the great thing about Trey was how funny he thought I was. And by the way, I'm at Zaney's Thursday through Sunday. Yeah. All right, Mark, you know what? Why don't you, as a, you know, as we mentioned before, guys. a bit of an adopted Texan, someone who lived there for years, fan of Dallas sports, you know, lover of Texas. Why don't you take us into the Ted Cruz conversation?

I do love Texas, and it's kind of frustrating watching how a lot of people talk about it because they act like, I mean, to a certain degree, we're all responsible for the government we have. But to remind everybody that we are, as a collective, are responsible for the death of like 2 million Iraqis and what kind of pain people should wish on us for just being born here. So a lot of people are mad at all Texas and think they deserve to start to freeze the death or what. whatever because they got shitty elected representatives. But so Ted Cruz in the middle of all this, where there were like four million people without power the other day. So far, still about 400,000 people without power. A lot of people haven't gotten it back on, thank God.

At least 20 people dead. I imagine that's a lot higher, but they don't count homeless people and they haven't really, because they can't count everybody because nobody's had phone service and shit, right? So Ted Cruz decided this would be a good time to go. go on vacation to Cancun. All right. And this went viral.

This first picture, this, we got posted last night. Somebody noticed Ted Cruz in the airport and saw him getting on a plane to Cancown. Now, there was some argument of whether or not that was Ted Cruz, because Ted Cruz has gained weight at such a rapid pace that he doesn't look like he used to.

People like, that's not Ted Cruz. He's too heavy. He's wearing glasses. The internet did what it is and matched him, and matched the girl with him to looking like his daughter and his wife looking like his wife. And Ted Cruz, you can't always see close up

in that fun. photo, but he's wearing a mask that he's been wearing around the Capitol with a picture of AR on it that says come and take it. So that was definitely Ted Cruz. Well, now, well, go ahead, but I just want everybody know. Ted Cruz has an explanation for all this. It wasn't as bad as it looked. Well, I would get that just a second with that. That was after he got caught because he went radio silent for like 14 hours, which is usually not like him because just like our friend Bobert and all that, all the other crazy.

right winger's in Congress in the Senate. He thinks his job is to post, and he hadn't owned anyone on Twitter in 14 hours, so he was obviously in hiding. And one thing I love about this is how confident Ted Cruz was he could blend in an airport. But the motherfucker is so, like,

Ted Cruz is not a normal looking person. Like he just doesn't look like a normal, like he looks like a normal, like he looks like it was made out of mushy triangles. Right. It doesn't look like a regular. Because it's not his face, because as I referenced up top, it's a skin, so he's like Edgar from the first men in black movie.

Like, he's but a, you know, reptilian, soulless reptilian creature from another dimension wearing the skin of a regular human. That's why he looks as dumpy as he does. He's also cold-blooded, okay? And cold-blooded people don't fare. Cold-blooded entities don't fare well. In situations like this, he had to, you know,

fly south for the winter. He needed a sun on a rock on the beach in Cancun, or the very blood in his lifeless veins might cease to flow. Oh, you know. Producer Matt says, who hasn't wanted to show off their new mullet on a beach in Mexico? Yeah. So the last episode, we highlighted his mullet, if that's what you could call it.

But yeah, he's just, you know, just getting putting himself out there, Mark. A little Jose Dirt action. Yeah. But he has, but he needed a warm place to lay his eggs. I get it. He's got to release his egg attack. Yeah. Exactly.

Yeah. Anyway, so this goes viral. He hides hoping the internet will notice it's him. But he's so weird looking. He gets noticed wearing a mask in an airport, catching a red eye flight at a time when no one's looking at anyone, right? So his plan was shitty from the beginning. But it goes viral.

He goes radio silent hoping people won't notice. He starts realizing his whole political life is falling apart. And so he catches a red eye, like a 6 a.m. At 6 a.m. this morning, he booked a flight back. But he tried to act like he was always coming back today. And he's going to drop his wife and kids off. Yeah. Yeah.

Let's play his explanation clip, Matt. perfectly reasonable well Texas is going through horrific stories and millions of Texans look at that mask he switched masks yeah he did

and uh our family was among them he had he's wearing a Texas flag mask for the podcast audience if they could take a trip with some friends dropped them off

that's all he's doing and happening in Texas is unacceptable and then ending up with that what's happening in Texas is unacceptable but yeah he claims that his daughters were taking a trip and all he was doing

was escorting them and dropping them off and coming back. So many things. First of all, his wife was also with them, who, as you pointed out in our outline, Mark, is she's got multiple degrees, one of which is from Harvard.

So I feel like she probably could have handled it, you know, escorted girls. She's a VP of Goldman Sachs. She can get two kids in an airplane. The kids are 10 and 12. I've never known a 12-year-old kid. They'd be like, Dad, I want to go to Cancun to the Ritz Carlton. This whole fucking thing is bullshit.

It doesn't make any sense. Also, is he going to, it's part of his, to keep this story going, is he going to have to fly back down there on Saturday or whenever and escort them back? Do you know what I mean? Like he had to escort them down there only and they're fine on the way back. Or now is he locked in to having to fly down there, pick them up and turn around and fly right back just to sell his bullshit story?

And also like, you know, that, uh, the, the luggage that he was packing around. That's for literally one night because he took it with him and brought it back. I don't know why I'm putting all this effort into proving that it's bullshit when literally any sane human being knows it's bullshit. But yeah, it's bullshit.

Clearly, every single thing about it is bullshit. So the cover stories now, their house was freezing and the kids were cold and we had to get one to get them out of town. That is obviously perfectly relatable, except I don't believe his fucking, he fucking lost power. I don't believe it because rich people in Texas didn't lose power. My friend of a friend, they just moved to Texas.

He works in like a VC marketing or whatever. They got a little bit of money. He moved into the neighborhood where Elon Musk, Matthew McConaughey, and Joe Rogan all live. Guess what? They lose a bit of power. Like, so I don't believe Ted Cruz was even cold. So, yeah. Yeah.

Now, I'm with you. And this was such a, this is why we talked about just how dumbass of a move. this was up top. He's even losing, you know, people on his same side of thing. Like my, my cousin, other Trey, Trey Gowdy, he's not my cousin. That's not how cousins work. We have the same first name, not last name, and it's not even spelled the same way. But y'all know what I mean. Trey Gowdy, he ain't with it. Matt, you play the clip whenever you have. Yeah, I think is a big deal. I mean, he never should have left. I mean, leaders are the first to pick up a difficult task and the last to put it down. They don't go to Cancun, and they don't go to Cancun, and they

They don't blame their daughters for it if they do. So yeah, I think it is a big deal. He should be murdered. That's what I agree with. See, that guy agree with that. That's what you got. All right, Byron. Yeah.

A really, really bad idea. And also, Cruz is already under fire for his actions in early January anyway. So bad month for him. Okay. When you ever you end a panel with bad month for him, that's not where you want to be as a politician. Yeah. So yeah. Just getting raked over the calls.

by everybody right now is Ted Cruz. But this makes me think of that. It was Al Franken, I'm pretty sure. Famous Al Franken quote about Ted Cruz where he said, look, I like Ted Cruz more than anybody else in Congress. And I fucking hate Ted Cruz. So like, you know, nobody likes him, I don't think.

His whole staff this morning was leaking stuff against him. Like the report of him changing his plane ticket came from his office. Whoever he asked to change his plane ticket blew up his cover story. He's a piece of shit. Yeah. So, uh, you like even Jesse Waters is probably the dumbest person of Fox News and that's

saying something. And even he was like, yeah, this is fucking stupid. Right. I mean, this is kind of day one stuff. If you're a politician, if there's a, uh, weather disaster in your state, you don't go on a tropical vacation. I mean, when you put it that way, Jesse Waters, you know, yeah. my dad my dad uh uh ran a little construction crew right and like one thing he always said about being a boss was you never ask another man to do something you're not willing to do right of course right so anybody should know that who's in a position of leadership in my opinion that's

it's like yeah that's fundamental shit for being any kind of leader in my opinion there there are perks that come in i've been in charge of very little shit in my life but i always try to remember that because there are perks that come with being a higher level a little more money and status or whatever. But also, leadership is a former service. You're volunteering to take a bullet. You're going to meetings. No one else wants to go to. And sitting in through dumpshade, they don't have to, right? So Ted Cruz is given this position as a U.S. senator. And there are people who say, what is Ted Cruz supposed to do to fix this problem? There's tons of you can do. He has six constituent service offices that could be taken phones

from clients. He has a bunch of rich donors. He can connect with people. He has leverage within the federal government to try to get more FEMA help. He has work. He can do. He can. be doing to help people. Beto's organization, I'm not a huge fan of Beto, but his organization has been calling old people, son up to sundown for the last three or four days, ask them if they're having your heat on, if they don't,

trying to get them a ride somewhere to go get a hot meal in a place to stay, so they don't freeze to death. So why is Beto working harder than the guy he lost to? Who's fucking taking a vacation? They all suck, man. They fucking suck. They do all suck. Because he's not the only one.

Do you want to talk about some of the other? Texas. We already mentioned Tim Boyd on Tuesday and telling his own constituents to basically go fuck themselves, saying if you expect the government to help you, then you're a piece of shit. But yeah, him and Ted Cruz, not the only ones. Who are some other notable examples, Mark, have been doing their thing down there? Well, Rick Perry, we talked about the other day about why Texas's energy grid is the way it is. And it's basically so they keep it all within Texas borders, so they're not subject to federal regulations. They can price gouge people who live in Texas. It's to fuck over their own citizens.

That's the whole point of us, right? They claim to be about independence, but it's not it. It's like they take payoffs to fucking to fuck their own people. So Rick Perry said, where's the dumbass, Rick Perry? Perry says Texans are willing to suffer blackouts to keep feds out of power market. People are dying, right? Their houses are exploding with water damage. And this dumb ass says, this is worth it for freedom.

And like, I don't know. what I'd do if I was buying right here, but I'd fucking go ahead and plug Texas into the power grid to save people's lives. And then when you lose the lawsuit later, saying you should have done that, just eat it. How many people have you ever met that even know or care at all about the status of their state's power grid as it relates to the federal infrastructure or however the fuck you want to put this? Like, you was saying, Texans are willing to suffer and be cold and go without food to. keep their power group from being federally regulated. How many average people you know what the fuck that means?

You literally only think about it when it collapses. That's the only time you think about it. It's the government's job to do, to cover, you pay taxes, you pay your electric bill. Basic shit like public infrastructure is the government's responsibility. When it collapses, you fucked up. You've got to figure out how you fucked up and fixed it. That seems pretty straightforward to me. But no, it's all about it.

The main thing I think about when I want to cook food is whether or not the electricity has freedom or not. Yeah, exactly. No one ever thinks about or gives a shit about that. And none of them willing to put their lives on the line in defense of it. And none of them believe the fake bullshit because like when it comes down to the rubber meat in the road when they realize how fuck they are, they stop. The governor issued order banning the sale of natural gas outside of the state. They're literally cutting off the free market to try to save their own political asses because they can sell it to Texans at price gouge rates.

while over in Oklahoma, go across the state lines, you can't price gouge because the federal government won't let yet. Right? So like there's all these horror stories. I saw a viral story earlier. Somebody got a gas bill for this month. It's $200,000, just the normal gas bill. So they're obviously not going to have to pay that because that's fucking,

that's embarrassing for everybody, but that's what the computer told instead of charge with the market went through the roof. But anyway, this is all nonsense. They're all assholes. And Ted Cruz just is the cartoonish emblem of all their failures and cowardice. And if we had a video clip, Matt, that last would have him trying to give a press conference and being drowned out by people yelling. I think they're chanting shame, but I couldn't really make it out to help me out here. Whether the decision to go was tone deaf, look, it was obviously a mistake.

In hindsight, I wouldn't have done it. I was trying to be a dad. And all of us have made decisions. I thought they're just saying you suck, right? When you got two girls who have been cold for two days and haven't had heater power. And they're saying, hey, look, we don't have school. why don't we go let's get out of here man I wish when I was 12 years old I could make my dad

take me on an internet after vacation no shit that too right like that's the sort of the subtext of even his excuses that he gives is like being able to just escort your daughters to fucking Cancun on a spur of the moment trip

and then turn around and come right back like just the level of privilege of that should be enough to piss anybody off regardless of literally everything else about the story you know like there's no part of this not one single part

of this it doesn't make him seem like the biggest piece of shit in the world maybe it was tone deaf but everyone can relate to my stupid fucking daughter wasn't to go to the brics crawled to can't do my fucking whining ass

weak will daughters they didn't to go to Mexico for a while, so what am I going to do? Yeah, just throwing everybody under the bus. So, all right, before we get into the comments and stuff here in a minute, I want to mention at least a couple of other things. One of them is Joe Biden made, you know, he's known for gaffs. Man, he makes some gass. Well, he made a truly horrific gaff yesterday or the day before.

Matt, whenever you have the clip of the, you guys aren't going to believe this, what he said. it's astonishing and terrifying. And now that I said all that mad, if you don't have this to play, it's going to be rough. So, oh, no, everybody knows I like kids better than people.

I saw a picture of you with your grandson recently. That's right. Yeah. That's right. Sickening. In a normal world, that's somewhere in the radar of like, Joe says the darndest things, where he knows he, like, he either meant kids more than adults.

That's obviously what he's sad. but yeah right at worst you would be like he said kids aren't people or whatever like something like that and that's the extent of it but not in QAnon world your brain is it big enough Trey

you can't see that he just confessed to liking kids as food right he said he didn't say I like kids he say I like kids like it's a tone thing right so like unless you think we're making this up. Here was Kelly McAdainey, Kaki,

Macalacky, whatever you want to call her. Yeah. Signing off the final notable quote from Joe Biden during his town hall, everyone knows like kids better than people with the chin stroking emoji, right? And she knows what she's doing. We just spent two months of the country talking about fucking QAnon.

And so Jake Topper called her out for that. And she says, no, no, that's not what I meant. But Q heard her, right? The Q people heard her. And that went viral. and they're like, look, even Kaylee knows that Joe Biden needs kids. If you have that screen grab, Matt. It doesn't, you don't need to see it.

It's a bunch of people saying, obviously, this is proof. Yeah, it literally makes, I mean, you know, just like everything we're queuing on, it makes no sense to anybody whose brain works. But yes, they're connecting, connecting Kaylee, Kaki-Mcalaki, as you put it, Mark, connecting her tweet. because of the time she tweeted it, right? Because she tweeted it at 1205, okay? And...

12 plus 5 is 17. 12 plus 5 is 17. Q is the 17th letter of the alphabet. They believe in numerology. Also, that matches to Q1205, which is a picture of spirit cooker Marina Abramovich, who apparently is... She spirit cooks children in preparation for her pedophile overlords.

Spirit cooking is when they drink the adrenaline cream from their brains to stay young. That's part of the ritual. Well, this lady, she does that. She's like top shelf spirit cooker. And I guess her sort of exhibition number in QAnon's list of evidence is Q1205. and because Kaki Makalaki tweeted this thing about Joe Biden at 1205, that means indisputably. You could see how it's hard to argue.

And it was really a reference to this noted spirit cooker person. Yeah. That's all real. Like it's so, like I just, I almost have to remind myself when we get into that, into this shit and start talking about. It's like, that's all actually real. real people really think all that stuff that I just said is real. That's,

I don't know. It'll never stop blowing my mind, man. It's so crazy. Do you ever think there's anything we believe that that's crazy? Like, we're like, we're like, just mention the earth be around.

Somebody who knows the truth is like, man, these guys are fucking off. Well, I've heard a lot of people say, make the analogy or the comparison, and like, well, it's not that surprising. Think about how fucking crazy all of the religions are

when you really think about it. You know, think about how crazy the Bible is on this stuff. But I don't, I don't, to me, and I'm a known Bible hater. I don't, you know, I'm totally a religious, didn't grow up with it at all. And it made no secret about that.

But I feel like the Bible and all that stuff, I've always, I don't look at the same way because it dates back from a time when we didn't know literally anything about anything. People didn't know shit about how anything worked. And all these things, it seemed like crazy explanations now. Back then, they believed everything they believed was lunacy, almost. And then it gets, but it gets made into dogma and passed down through the generations.

And so there's like, to me, there's an explanation for that lunacy. But brand new lunacy like this is a completely different story. to me. SS-1964 says they do eat cake shaped like humans, though, L-O-L-L. I mean, I've been a king baby cake on like a Fat Tuesday or whatever, I guess. I don't know. Yeah. I mean, I don't know if the comparison. Obviously Q has become something like a religion, but I mean, for whatever reason, believing something magical happened a long time ago, it seems more realistic to people than something. Right, that's what I'm saying. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, I don't know. I mean, Moses might have been full of shit, but like, it's been baked in for a couple thousand years. So like, but even even he wasn't like alleging the burning bush stuff is well, it was a little like, okay, Moses. But he made up some rules. Don't kill people. That seems fine. That's way weird to the Q shit. Did you know about this, Mark? The teacher comments that says, Bobert missed an opportunity to use a pick of a steak and a gun. She owns a gun themed restaurant in Colorado. Yeah, so all her, she owns a restaurant. How she became a little mini-celebrity in her little town was a, she has a restaurant where all the employees open carry. So you make $2 an hour waiting tables at Lauren Bowers restaurant. In order to do that, you have to equip yourself with $500 in equipment and get a carry license. Or maybe open carry is just purely legal. Maybe you don't need a license in Colorado.

But before this, one thing she was most famous for was her restaurant got in trouble. because she served a bunch of bad pork sliders because she didn't bother to fix her refrigerator and gave like 30 people diarrhea and got hit by the health department. So that's her business model was giving people diarrhea using meat. And now she's daring people to come take her meat,

which they already did once. Health Department fucking shut her down for a little while. That's funny. Here's Natalie Nichols. We know Natalie, Mark. I need your advice, she says. What is the acceptable time to start drinking in a polar vortex,

polar vortex, post-insurrection, and mid-pandemic. I think it was last March. 12 months ago? Yeah, right. Yeah, exactly. Roughly 13 months ago, that was the appropriate time. And if you didn't, then, the second best time is today. It's like that old proverb.

I believe Natalie is in Texas. So I'm glad your power is on there, Natalie, and staying warm. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, why would you stop drinking right now? Like, I mean, it's weird. It's weird to be like 10 in the morning you're looking at a bottle. It's like, I mean, I don't have a, I'm not going to, but I don't have a reason not to. Yeah.

Yeah. Lauren Hyman says, I think that, well, Mark actually just touched on it. I think the question is, when do you stop drinking? Yeah, you know. Depends on what happens in the world, am I right? Yeah. Six weeks have to get in the first vaccine is when I'm going to stop. Yeah, there you go.

Right. obviously we touched on it but didn't really cover Rush Limbaugh's death because you know who cares or not you know obviously it's momentous regardless of how you feel about him but I mean yeah what else is there to say it's that famous is it Mark Twain or is that a fake Mark Twain quote you never know with the internet the quote that says shit what is it I've never you should never speak ill of the dead but I've read many obituable with great enthusiasm or great enjoyment or something like that. I just butchered the shit out of that,

but y'all know what I'm talking about. If he didn't say it, he should have, it's a big quote. I mean, look, we're talking for, like, in public, look, our text thread was pretty lit, but I'm not going to, I don't like, the guy had a family and he's even being in, like, death's the tragedy because, not as a person robbed all their future experiences,

but they're robbed of any chance to atone or to learn, from their mistakes, right? Rush was never going to learn from shit, or tone for any of it. And as far as, like, don't speak a little of the dead thing, this has been around the internet, but he had a whole segment on his show

where he had to play funny music and read off the list of all the people who died of AIDS. That's what he thought was funny. So I don't like, you and I work in comedy, so we're joke sociopaths, and I don't really,

I don't really subscribe to don't make fun of dead people fame because I hope I, when I die, I hope it's in a funny way that brings people some joy. I hope I fucking fort myself to death, falling out of a hot air balloon or something that goes viral and you guys have a good day. Yeah. I also hope you die that way, Mark. That'd be wonderful.

Yeah, I'd be giggling all the way down. Yeah, Marney Carlson says it's Clarence Darrow and I actually looked up in the middle saying that, yes, that's one of those. Again, Mark Twain and Abraham Lincoln, the internet has misattributed so many quotes to both of them. And I did say I thought it might have been misattributed, but yeah, it was. But either way, yes. Yeah, my producer Matt says lots are correcting your quote, Trey. I know. I'm sorry.

That's glad. Like I said, I did even say I thought it might not be correct when I said it. But yes, thank you all for, you know, informing me correctly. I appreciate it. So in general, like there's a few people, you could say, are some of the most destructive people in the history of America. rush is in somewhere because he showed once the fairness doctor went away he showed a whole world of shithead grifters what was possible and so glenbeck Donald Donald Trump is just what would happen if a AM talk radio guy got like the president Pence was an AM talk radio host before he got elected to Congress or after his for before he was governor whatever all the all the like what lo and bobbott's trying to do is aspiring to be rush same was when Ted Cruz owns the libs all all these people, like, it's just, it ruined everything.

I think probably one of the most, when humanity writes its epitaph, the most dangerous, the most destructive person in history of the world is probably going to be Rupert Murdoch. And once, you know, billions of people die climate change. And Rush is like, Rush was basically showed Rupert Murdoch what he could do by owning right-wing media properties. Yeah. Dave Adams says, we have to remember that people die every day in America. and in parentheses, that's a Rush Limbaugh quote.

Which, yeah, it sounds about me like Mark just said. You know, he used to laugh at everybody that died of AIDS every day. So, I mean, yeah. He was still using his radio show to tell people that smoking tobacco doesn't cause lung cancer in 2015. Want to fucking guess what he died up, Trey? Yeah. Lung cancer caused by smoking tobacco. Like his buddy said earlier, he couldn't even drive a golf cart because he was too

focused on smoking cigars. Yeah. So, yes, repentant. I want to, y'all keep hitting us with whatever, Matt, and, but I wanted to, and, you know, not to just make it a total footnote, but I wanted to mention it either way. Some actual positive news, at least in my opinion, the NASA Perseverance Rover landed on Mars today. I love this type of shit.

I wish, you know, I've always been a big proponent of giving NASA, way more money than we currently do. This is what Rob Manning of the NASA Jet Propulsion Laboratory said about it. When we put our arms together and our hands together and our brains together, we can succeed. That's what NASA does. This is what we can do

as a country. On all the problems we have, we need to work together to do these kinds of things and make success happen. And I know it sounds a little trite or whatever, but like it's just nice to be reminded of actual positive things that can result in, you know, competent human beings

collaborating toward a, you know, shared goal. So go NASA, a big fan. I always, when I end up arguing with other leftist liberals about NASA, because I'm a big fan of NASA too. And I, like, my general thing is, like, when I was a kid, like, I remember my mom crying when the Challenger blew up. You know, like, astronauts were nationally known heroes. Like, we had trading cards and shit.

Like I was really sad two summers in a row when I didn't get into space camp. They're not like, they're just not public stars like that anymore. I mean, I don't know what filled that role, but like it restores faith and trust, trust in government when you can do big cool shit like that that everyone gets to root for. And like, and it would, and a government that can land a probe on Mars and send people to the moon, which we can't even do anymore, you can trust that government to run health insurance, right? Yes, I agree completely. Brandy Rush Effie says NASA, yes, space force, no.

I mean, yes, obviously, just trying to turn it into a fucking bullshit space war. Yeah. As a pile of space races, Mark, not space wars, you know. But no, I've always been very defensive about the money spent on space exploration, too, for a lot of reasons. Everything you said, but also the other scientific advancements that came out of the space race is kind of like ancillary, like byproducts. that were huge. Like just a lot of great shit comes from it. Like you said,

that engenders faith in the government, anything that makes children give a shit about science, you know, and math and all that stuff. There's a lot of great things about NASA that makes it worth spending money on, especially compared to a lot of the shit

we do spend money on. Yeah, I mean, like, one thing I find really frustrating about, like, so SpaceX has done some cool shit, but also people need to understand the SpaceX is a defense contractor. They're still funded by the government, right? So when NASA invented a lot of shit, we got GPS.

Like when you drive your car around, those are American government satellites. You're using to navigate your car. The internet, tang, right? Huge advances in technology. Those were owned by the people, so they got socialized. Whatever Elon Musk convinced with our tax dollars, Elon Musk owns. The gains from her not being socialized.

That's what fucking pisses me off about it. So I wish we'd be trying to send a manned mission to Mars instead of Elon Musk trying to send a manned mission to Mars. Because I want to see the cool shit that would accomplish, even though I want to fix Earth and I don't want to fucking go live on Mars. So, yeah. Right. So we also, we're getting some comments about her majesty queen,

Dolly Parton, who has continued her lifelong string of awesome moves, in my opinion, by requesting that Tennessee lawmakers remove a bill that would place a statue of her at the Capitol, you know, beside all the ones of Nathan Bedford Forrest and all the other shit we have at the Capitol right now in terms of statues.

They state lawmakers wanted to build a statue of Dolly Parton and she herself has asked them to not do it. She said, given everything that's going on in the world right now, I don't think putting me on a pedestal is appropriate at this time. And that's just, you know, that's just, how she rolls. I mean, uh,

you and me have argued before we, we did a piece for, for one of our old jobs, um, uh, for South and off about like how we, we should place all the Confederate statues with, uh,

Dottley statues. And I think we're absolutely right on that. But also we can probably wait until she's passed when it won't feel so gross to her. To be, uh, to be, uh, to be turned into a golden calf, you know,

um, but yeah, she's, she's, she's, she's, like, very well off person can be.

She donates books to kids. And also I should have said, she said, She says part of that statement, you know, maybe down the road or whatever, if people still thought it was appropriate, then sure. But she just didn't think that it was, you know, the right thing to do right now. Denise Kip. Denise Kstall.

Trey, don't he try, please. Denise K. I don't know. I think it's probably close. I hope it's close. Denise Kipstel says we are unworthy of Dolly Parton. And yes, Lord knows. I agree.

Let's see. All right. Just about finishing up, just as a reminder, as always, with all our recent shows, we'll remind you all starting in March, we're going to go down to just Tuesdays with the perhaps naive hope that there will be less insanity to cover each week. And also that we can, you know, just pour more into that one episode and keep from having to worry about scheduling conflicts in the future. It just seems like the right moves.

That's what we're going to do. But for the rest of February, we will be here. Tuesdays and Thursdays, including next Tuesday, February 23rd. So yeah, come back and join us and see what's happened. I'm Trey and that's Mark. Thank you all. Later guys.