wellRED podcast - Evening Skews - Week of October 27, 2020

Episode Date: October 30, 2020

This week we welcome Producer Matt to the fold, who helps us with graphics and clips and just general professionalism, which had been a bit of a foreign concept to us at the Skews. We cover all the latest in Election Fuckery, Trump killing his followers with the weather, Ivanka getting the perfect "BOO" treatment, and so much more. Also the second episode this week was half the length as Trae was recovering from eye surgery. However, this also means he was on pills and thus it was a good time. Enjoy!

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion. Because used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie, I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now, skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people, people across the skew universe, I should say. Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year? Do you even know? Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery,

getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low mane? Because that's a thing that we do in this society. You know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better, and it's called Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions,

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So I was probably like, I should know Spanish. I'll learn Spanish. and I've just been paying to learn Spanish without practicing any Spanish for, you know, pertinent two years now or something like that. Also, a fun one, I'd said it before, but I got an app, lovely little app where you could, you know,

put your friends' faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies. You know, those weren't a little like the Q-ball-looking twin fellas. Yeah. So that was money. What was that a reply gift for?

Just when I did something stupid. Something fat, I think, and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first. But then I quit using it and was still paying for it and forgotten. If it wasn't for Rocket Money, I never would have even figured it out. So shout out to them. They help.

If you're money dumb like me, Rocket Money can help. So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney. dot com slash well read today that's rocket money.com slash well r e d rocketmoney.com slash well read and we thank them for sponsoring this episode of the podcast they're the well how about that mark what you think about that you like that yeah man the haters can see us now yeah that's right so if everybody watching this confused at any level of production value on

this show. A, I don't blame you, and B, let me explain. Me and Mark, got a little help from our buddy, producer Matt. You guys are going to see producer Matt's touch, but, you know, maybe not his face, although he might pop in later. Who knows, we'll see what happens. But anyway, Matt's here to help us out, because if you've been following us for a while, you know that I struggle greatly with doing multiple things at the same time. So some of those things, producer Matt's going to take care of. But at any rate, here we are, and here it is Tuesday, October 27th, 10th, minus one week from the big day. I'm T-Crowder.

That's Mark Aegee. What's up, Mark? What's up, Trey? Happy Tuesday. Hell yeah. And this is evening skews. So as always, we begin with the Daily Dumbassery.

Look at that. I'm just so excited. I'm so excited about these graphics. I'm so happy. Anyway, yeah, let's get into it. Set it up for you guys. Got a little clip for you here. So the setup is the oil.

Oregon Health Authority, they do a frequent health update having to do with COVID-19, right? The Oregon Health Authority. And this week being what this week is, they decided it'd be fun. It'd be fun to make their health update Halloween themed. Spooky season. Spooky season. So let's see how that. All right.

Producer. button look guys we're getting it together the graphics i jeaned them talking about great the graphics where that's what it was yeah but yeah he'll get it pulled back up right here in a second so if you were if you saw any of the clip you know that here we go Oregon with 390 new cases being reported today sadly we are also reporting three deaths today bringing the statewide total right oh god you cut it cut it matt and throw that up throw that screenshot up there if you got it so for anybody's just it ends up just listening to the audio version of this it can't see it that is uh that is a woman in a clown in clown makeup

we got a not a sad clown though interesting choice he didn't go with she's got that the word of three deaths so obviously it's terrible that people have died but that's the sort of the point here Oregon health authority like that you know not everything needs to be jazzed you know I we're not the insensitive ones here so Oregon Public Health Affairs but I just love a clown telling you that someone died like a like a golf patch Adams type situation a golf patch Adams yeah exactly I didn't realize Portlandia was back for another season I got great opening sketch here no I love uh that's one of the things I love about Oregon not all of Oregon I know but anything that's like Portland-ish in Oregon you know is that it's

It's like, it reminds me in the South in a weird way sometimes because they could tend to be a little on the nose with certain things, you know, on the, in this case, comically large, beeping red nose. But, yeah, it was a good time. Yeah, Portland's not a, it's not un-red. I mean, like, we had a great two-hour conversation with a stripper midday about guns one time there. So that's the... All right.

So that was mine and Mark's favorite for The Daily Dumbass today, but we had some other nominees, and we're not going to deprive you of those. So, Matt, we're going to do Steve Bannon next. So, Mark, tell me if I'm wrong with this. So Steve Bannon, just like us, has resorted to being podcaster. And the guy who sponsors and pays his bills has a side career. He's a billionaire, obviously, you know, a patron of Steve Bannon. He's the guy who owns the boat he was arrested on last month, a two months ago by the post office.

Anyway, this billionaire has a sad career as a DJ. So that's all the setup you need for this. All right. There we go. We're going to come back getting to all the details. Miles Gross taking us out every day. We're also going to play the entire, the U.S. premiere of the entire video. We played at the end of the system.

I love the song. Fight for Hong Kong. all jacked up and I'll listen to this. Listen to this. Hashtag war in pandemic. He basically, like, he has no choice but to play this guy's music because this guy's the billionaire benefactor propping him up and making the show possible and everything. So when this guy sends him his gar-j-ass, like 80s, Paris-Paharanage music, Bannon

has to, he has to rock to it. And apparently, we didn't see in that clip, but apparently not only that, but play the entire accompanying music video to it. I can't figure out what Steve Bannon's up to because,

theoretically, he has like $100 million of his own money. Like, he's like, he collects residuals on Seinfeld because he's a producer on that and some other shit. He did. So, I don't know why he needs this guy's money for his podcast. Maybe he just needs his giant yacht to hide out on international waters when the post office

cops come from again. I don't know. Or maybe he's one of those that's just like, you know, one of those super rich people that's also super tight with everything. So it's like, you know, he's like doing this but refuses to pay for it. So he got this benefactor guy. But, you know, I say that means. Or maybe he just thinks that song's a banger. Like maybe he's just a big fan of this guy's music and music videos.

We don't know. I'm sure Steve Bannon's taste is questionable. Yeah. You see Benon's always been in their like early 90s sounding. pre new metal sort of party rock anthems that dig it uh i want to take a quick detour here though because i'm a little shame to admit something what i don't know about banon's i did not know that steve banon was a signfield he was one of the people that brought us signfield can you elaborate on that little bit because i wasn't always i was a chunk of it i'm not quite sure how

or why because he was like a goldman sax dude that he ended up dabbling and so like signfield's okay he never met him or anything but he does collect money off sinfeld's Okay, so it was purely a like money side of the, of the situation. Like, yeah. He wasn't a, he didn't have like a production company or anything. No, no, he wasn't like on set giving script notes or anything like that. Okay, all right, just making sure how you. Yeah, George, yeah, Michael Richards, yeah, he probably was a big fan of Michael Richards and more of the stage.

All right, so we got another daily dumbass nominee for you, I guess, honorable men. would be the proper nomenclature here. And for this one, we go back to our returning champ, first ballot hall of fame, Daily Dumbass, the POTUS himself, Donald J. Trump, Matt, if you pull that up, he's at a rally in Wisconsin, I think. Hit it. Oh, I can't hear it.

We'll try it again. So he's in a rally, Wisconsin. He's doing a lot of rallies lately. Obviously, jobs, always a big subject for him. And that's what he's talking about. in this clip and the way he chooses to frame the jobs dilemma in Wisconsin there in the Rust Belt is pretty humorous just mentally time travels back to 1956 yeah here we go your husbands they want to get back to work right they want to get back to work we're getting

your husbands back to work and everybody wants it get the husband's back to work ladies so they're not crowd in the kitchen all day. They're not standing in front of the refrigerator while you're trying to make sandwiches. You get them back down the office where they belong so you can be at home alone, drinking martinis and watching the press right where you belong.

Yeah, you don't... America we've all dreamed of. You don't want your husband trying to watch the ESPN when your stories are on. Come on. All those single-income households that still exist in middle-class America, you know? I know, right. And it's funny because, like, at the beginning of that, he, you know, he's like,

your husbands, they want to get back to work, right? And some people do cheer, and he's like, we're going to get your husbands back to work. And I feel like I never been to a Trump rally, but I feel like he's one of those that, like, everything he says, they holler for, you know, and, like, he didn't even really get much off of that, even in front of his crowd. I mean, I'm sure they weren't too upset by it. But I'm saying, I feel like, I'm sure most of the women in that, even at the Trump rally, I'm sure most of the women in that crowd

also have jobs as like you said, it's 2020 in America and single income households are very rare. I mean, I know he just didn't think about it like he doesn't think about any of the things he says, but it's still, it's just, it's funny. I do love those moments where, like,

in his rallies, because people go because they're fans of him, but they don't actually want to hear him to talk because it's pretty boring. He says the same shit over and over again. He's been saying since 2015. But he does have those plus. lines. He'll always go back to the wall when he starts bombing, right?

But like, occasionally he says some shit. Like, they know that's supposed to be, like, a response. Like, if you said, how about them cowboys in Dallas? But, like, they just, like, the Scooby-Doo's the noise. Yeah. I was talking, I was actually talking to our mutual friend tone about this a couple days ago. I wonder what your opinion is on this.

It's a bit of a tangent, but it has to do with Trump and how he talks. Do you feel like, you're right, he is born? He's obviously, he's not a good public speaker, except for the people who are firmly in his will, you know, except for dumb people think he hits, but you know what I mean. He's not a good public speaker, but I also feel like there's this weird thing that goes on with Trump

where, like, when you read, if you read like a written transcript of some shit he said, it oftentimes to me, it feels almost unbelievable that an actual person on an actual stage and that actual position actually said those things because it seems like it's just such gibberish, you know? It's like this cannot be, this cannot be

the actual verbatim transcript of what he said, but every time it is. But then when you listen to him, it just sounds like any other Trump moment. Do you know what I mean? Like you listen to it and it doesn't sound, it doesn't sound at all weird coming out of his mouth because it's just something about,

He's just so Trumpy. He's so consistently him in the way he talks and presents this stuff that like, if I had been listening to it when he goes on a certain diatribe, yeah, it might infuriate me because of what he said. But none of it would like strike me as odd that he said it because he is who he is. But then you show me a transcript of it and it's like, man, he really, that's exactly word for word what he actually said. Like, do you know what I mean? Yeah, I mean, like the transcripts are always funny because you kind of feel bad for the person having to transcribe it because they don't know where to put punctuation. It's a, it's kind of a gift when he ends on a question because then you know to put a question mark there.

So it's like when he says, we love it, don't we folks? Transcribers got to be, oh, thank Christ. And I put a question mark there. Right. Yeah. All right. Well, so speaking of mouth diarrhea, it runs in the family, I guess. Kushner, his son-in-law and a little bit of hot water right now for weirdly coming.

I left field being a little racist. I didn't see this coming from Jared Custer and his ilk, but you know, here we are. He was on Fox and Friends and said a lot of regrettable things. Among them, he was talking about Black America, the protest, all that stuff.

And this is a quote Kushner. One thing we've seen in a lot of the black community, which is mostly Democrat, is that President Trump's policies are the policies that can help people break out of the problems that they are complaining about. But he can't want them to be successful more than they want to be successful.

So he cracked it for them, Mark. Like he solved it. I just thought, oh, shit, we should have been desiring success this whole time. Well, no, we can get it together. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's, yeah, I mean, if you guys just want to go out and get jobs. Right. If you guys would just start making a half million dollars a year, a tax cut would totally work for you.

No taken, Jared. I'll just go do that. Yeah, he also said that people that were protesting in the wake of George Floyd's death were virtue signaling. Like they couldn't honestly care about a guy that died

in a horrific manner unnecessarily. He also, as part of that same quote, he also said they were virtue signaling instead of coming up with solutions, right? And it's like, what do you what do you think these protests are aimed at?

are meant to represent. You know what I mean? Like, no, there are solutions offered. You don't like them. Like, if you are to defund the police, what do you think that is? Just like a rallying cry? Like, they've offered plenty of solutions, you know? Yeah.

And also, like, the straightforward solution is like, please police officers, some of you stop being maniacs, that's a pretty straightforward solution. Like, the Derek Chauvin guy, I mean, that was an easy solution there. Don't be a psycho. So I don't even know what they're what they all he's talking about. Anyway, that's the good, Ruben Gallegos, who's a congressional candidate who was in, uh, uh, was at Harvard with Jared, went off on a Twitter, Twitter ran about this. It was pretty funny because he was making a point.

He was trying to compare all the stuff he had to do to get into Harvard with what Jared had to do get into Harvard. Like he had to like take all these extracurriculars and get perfect straight aides and take buses across town to go to get out of schools to go across town where it wasn't public transportation to go to someone's workplace as a Harvard alumni for any. interview and all his stuff and figure out to get loans in his own and get school, get in school. And then all Jared had to do was his dad, Dave Harvard, like $3 million. So that's how Jared got it.

Yeah, well, that'll do it. And I know this is a little bit of low hanging fruit here, but still, it's still, we've talked about this before, but it still kind of blows my, even, I'm not, I'm never surprised to hear these people say this type of stuff, even in public. But at the same time, it kind of blows my mind that they don't have more savvy or whatever. you want to call it than to be this explicit with some of this shit in such a public forum. Do you know what I mean? Like another, so he was just, he was on one, Kushner's another thing he said.

He's talking about, uh, well, he's talking about they, you know, them, they, those people, those people, capital T, they said, they would go on Instagram and cry or they would put a slogan on their jersey or write something on a basketball court. And quite frankly, that was doing more to polarize our country than it was to bring people forward. You solve problems with solutions. You know, there again, and easy shit to point out, but still, like the basketball players, the NBA players, a lot of them were very vocally tortured by the fact that they couldn't do much of anything else other than put something on their jersey because they weren't allowed to leave or go anywhere or do anything.

So they had the tools available to them to make the best. effort in the best stand that they could. And again, also, this whole thing of like, why are they doing that? Instead of offering solutions, they are. They are offering, you know, they've been very upfront about what they think the solutions are. You know, like, they're not hiding it or anything. It's just, it's just such blatant, pandering and racist bullshit. It's unreal.

Yeah, but like, but a proposed solution in Kushner would understand would be like, what if we outsource the SWAT teams to an app called SWATI? Right. And then we pay them three times. They could be ex-government mercenaries. And then, you know, that's the kind of solution you would understand. Use the word synergy in a couple of meetings. And then we can really get the ball rolling.

Yeah. He's one of my least favorite people. Of all the people, I can't wait to see get their come up in season. He's definitely in the top three. subsidy with this administration. Who thinks worse him or Miller? It's kind of weird because the way I've been thinking about it recently

is Trump's obviously like a mascot for this administration. It doesn't actually decide anything or do anything. I look at it as like Jared Kushner's like the president of foreign policy and Stephen Miller is like the president of domestic policy and they both just do whatever they want, right? Kushner's running around pretending to get

Mid East peace deals. Yeah, they feel very interchangeable to me, Kushner and Stephen Miller. You know what I mean? like I could easily get them mixed up in my head. They seem like the same type of just just the worst. Yeah. The same type of the worst.

I really want to know, I mean, one of my theories about this, I deeply believe that Kushner had a hand and getting Koshoggi killed. And like I think Miller's malevolent. Like he takes pleasure in other people's pain. Right. Kushner, I think, is just trying to get some sweet deal. because he's really underwater in his stupid office building on Fifth Avenue. He sucked, though.

Well, speaking of being underwater on Fifth Avenue, yet more scandalous information has come out about Donald Trump and his finances, right? Mark, won't you take us through some of that? So the Times had another series about Trump's finances today, and basically the big takeaways are that his lenders, including Deutsche Bank, forgave $290 million in debt for some reason. Two of those hedge funds that owned a lot of his debt, had officials in there.

Steve Mnuchin was one of them, Stephen Feinberger's another one. Both of them got White House jobs, of course, Minutton's Treasury Secretary. Deuch Pank, they've done this, I caught doing this a few times. Doish has a bunch of different arms, and Trump has a loan come due from one part of Deich, and another part of Deich will loan him money to pay back that loan.

They've been doing that, moving money around, like a decade. It doesn't make any sense. Although Deutsch is, you know, one of the biggest money laundering institutions in the world. You can draw your conclusions. No one of them is going to to keep them afloat. But anyway, so Deuch, Deuch released the collateral in one of his final loans when he still owed them $24 million on November 9th, 2016, the day after he won the election. Probably a coincidence, right? Right. Well, so, okay, to be clear, because, you know, I'm money dumb. grew up poor, poor white trash or everything. Yeah, me too. I know, right, but you just, but you're smart mark though.

So, to be clear here, you were saying, you're outlining all these different things. You're like, yeah, it makes no sense. None of it makes any sense at all. But the idea is, it makes no sense if you don't take into account like the under the table reciprocating for these moves, right? That's what we're saying. Like they released the collateral after he won the election. because now he's the president, which means he can, you know,

have his strings pulled by them. He can do something for them now when he couldn't have before. Like, is that how you may, is that how this all, like, kind of makes sense is it's about the power

and the influence of why they do this type of shit? Or are there other, like, it's just like, it's all being driven by this shadow money that, you know, nobody can see or whatever. And that's the missing piece in why.

Because like, they're not, they're shady as hell, but they're not doing the, shit for no reason, you know, obviously. I mean, I would look at it as like Trump's obviously a famously vindicted person. That's something I think everyone, including him, would concede about his personality. And Doish is always in trouble for various, you know, money laundering and fractions, you know,

or even just simple stuff like charging people too many penalties and fees. They pay billions of dollars in fines for that. I've having the president lean on the Justice Department to come down harder on you probably isn't worth the $24 million that he owed you. You know, it's just like a cost. business thing. So why don't you just wipe the debt and not have it hanging over your head. I mean, you owe Tony Soprano $100. Pay him back $120. It's worth the 20 to not have it out of you because he's a murderer, you know? Yeah, I mean. But the post had another look at Trump's finances today. And this is on a really funny takeaway.

Because what their guy, David Ferenhold, has been doing, is tracking all the money that the federal government is paid to Trump organization trying to piece it together. And so far, he's come up with $2.5 million that the federal government has spent in Trump properties. And the funniest one is they charged for a $3 glass of tap water that Trump himself drank. So Trump sold the water. Trump drank the water, which came out of a faucet to fund. to buy taxpayers, which he doesn't pay any taxes. And then he drank, like the taxpayer

paid him $3 to drink a glass of water, which we need him to be hydrated. All he drinks is Diet Coke. The public doesn't have a vested interest in the president being hydrated, so it doesn't launch nuclear bombs on low brain power. But, uh, come on. Well, that's another one of those things. Like, there's so many examples of them. I think we were talking about in the last episode

about how they so clearly just like, just ignore the rules and the laws and just literally do whatever they want. And none of it ever matters because they have the power, right so like there are no consequences for it but one of them one of the most glad ones from the very beginning was that and i'm about to fuck this word up um emmo god damn it emoluments the the co yes thank yeah that the conflict of the conflict of interest thing financially uh with like financially benefiting from the office and all that has been just so blatant blatant from the very

earliest stages of his presidency and has never at all mattered and still goes on and still doesn't right and all that says it means pretty pretty straightforward logic i mean the founding father is like we united states didn't have a standing army right in his 1770s and 80s so what the things they'd live deeply in fear of is just a foreign government just buying the president like so just like give the president a giant estate in france and then he'll just have like you know trade policies that are favorable to france so like this stuff's pretty straightforward but they but they just ignored. Trump, they met with last week they found a secret Chinese bank account. They had $15 million.

The Chinese Communist Party put $15 million in for some reason and it's Trump's. And yeah, these guys are so sweaty. Like, is rich as Trump's supposed to be? What does he need $15 million for? It's like also petty, but like that's what's so funny to me about how sweaty they all are with their finances. Like Trump's stealing $3 from their taxpayer for a glass of water.

They've been in office for four years, and this is the highest level of scam they can come to figure out. It seems like they should be able to, they should be figured out. They should be back at the Brinks Trump up to Fort Knox by now. I just shouldn't need $3. Right. When you're talking about like the founding fathers being worried about the president bought basically by foreign influences. And obviously everyone, you know, on our side of things feels very confident at this point that Trump is and has been in Russia's pocket and all that.

And I'm wondering if you think there's been a couple soundbites recently. and one of them was, I think from that, is either from a Wisconsin or Pennsylvania rally where he started, Trump started talking about their trucks, them having nice trucks or whatever, and then he was like, I'd like to just get in one of those and just drive away and just leave and disappear or whatever.

Do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah, he said, he talked about how great his life was before he became president and how being president's kind of ruined his life and he wants to hop on one of their sweet trucks and just drive away. And like, that's a hell of the thing for a sitting up for re-election president to say,

but I'm wondering if you think that's indicative of his, like, in potential intent later, you know, meaning is he going to abscond? Oh, you mean when he said, if he loses, he might leave the country? I do you think he wants that I want, or is planning on basically just fleeing, for lack of a better work?

Let me say before you answer, I'm not naive enough to expect him to ever go to jail or any of that shit. I think that would rule, but I just, you know, my entire life in this country has led me to believe that that will not happen. But still, having said that, like, do you think that's in his future plans? Just getting the fuck out of here. I think he likes Florida too much.

He's still going to do his rallies, man. I know. I mean, yeah, I think you're right. The rallies, he'll be, he'll have his own fucking network or something probably just, exist solely to run his mouth. I mean, yes, we should be so lucky for him to decide to abandon the country. Yeah, I mean, he was, he was, like, he, everybody remembers that literally the day he was sworn in the office,

his former committee to get reelected and start doing rallies immediately. He's going to, like, he's going to file for 2024 on November, maybe next Wednesday he's going to file for 2024 and start doing rallies. It's his, it's his favorite thing, man. They said we're chanting, we love you last week. Yes, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're right. He can't possibly leave that behind.

So, like you said, next Wednesday. How about all the money he owes to cities and campaigns in? Yeah, that, yeah, it goes into cities and the campaign is supposed to reimburse them for all the extra overtime and police expenses. And he just sticks them with half a million other bills routinely. Right. And we all know how much extra money like cities like El Paso. Cities.

Right. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well, again, you know, they just, from the very beginning, it's like, no, we're going to do what we want to do, and you're going to deal with it. And that's how it's going to work. Yeah. But you mentioned you said next Wednesday, because here we are, T-minus one week away from the big day, election day. And I know we've harped on it for consecutive episodes now, but it's just going to do it again. Time to vote, y'all, if you haven't done it already, there are some places like Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania, like, it can't be postmarked by election day. It's got to arrive by election day or whatever, which is just one of the myriad methods of attempted voter suppression that exist out there.

But I'm saying turnout has already been record numbers, but if you ain't voted, do it now. Because, like, this is the home stretch. We got one week left. Yeah, especially, there's a Supreme Court decision last night about Wisconsin that's where Brett Kavanaugh just fucking. and lied his ass off. Wisconsin. I said Pennsylvania, but I meant Wisconsin. My bad. So you should get your, if you're in Wisconsin, you get a ballot announced. Anyway, this

decision had all these legal experts going crazy because he just got basic matters of fact wrong about what the law is in various states. He just made up shit. But his conclusion which is opinion barred heavily from Chief Justice Rehnquist's opinion in Bush v. Gore, which is, I don't

have ever read any of the legal analysis of Bush v. Gore, but pretty much their opinions, they all said, please don't ever take anything from these opinions because these are not to apply to anything in the future. We're just trying to, we're trying to, we're trying to, I'm going to be fair to them. If they not, and not say they were still in the election, they were still in the election. But they basically said, don't hold anything we're saying against us just for today, right? These are not to be used going forward.

And Kavanaugh barred from Rehnquist's opinion, which is one, the other eight justices didn't agree with, even the other four that voted for Bush, or like, didn't agree with his opinion. And it should have been thrown in a garbage. Everyone said it was garbage at the time, and he just cut and pasted from it. Extremely dishonest. He said stuff like the voters expect for states to certify the results election night, which never happens. States never certify results election night.

It always takes a few days or a week. The news networks project winners in election night based upon early returns. But states don't certify it for, I mean, obviously the electors aren't selected until December. So, like, he was just pulling shit out of his ass to try to, like, you know, to try to charitably speaking give Trump a slightly better edge. Okay, so

all right. There's this other thing and I've heard this brought up a lot recently, these mirage scenarios and I was very familiar with the possible blue mirage. So meaning because of the way voting has worked this year

in particular with COVID and all that in early voting and mail voting and all that and the inherent prejudices that both ends of the political spectrum have towards COVID and mail voting and whatever because of those different factors

it's very possible that on election night there will be this mirage of landslide blue victory basically because their votes are in and have been counted in the

have not yet and people should keep that in mind and also the idea that uh or why i'm sorry i got that backwards my bad the red mirage because they will vote on that day and all the mail ballots and everything have not been counted yet sorry yeah that's what i meant it's i had it flip-flop the there will be a red mirage on election act because they will go and vote in person and all that they'll have their votes will be counted more immediately whereas there'll be all these other mail-in votes um statistically speaking more likely to to be blue coming in after the fact. And so because of that on election night,

there will be a red mirage. And then further, the idea that Trump will lean on that and use that to basically announce his de facto victory and send everybody into a tizzy when that doesn't happen. But there's also the worry of

the opposite in the south. A blue barrage in the south? I don't, that one I don't. Help me out with that one. It just has to do with state election laws because it just depends on when they count the mail-in votes. Some states let you count them early. So the first, the first result of when the minute the polls close, you'll see so-and-so-many million mail-in ballots already counted,

right? So that'll, some states who like that election night, some states don't let you start counting mail-in ballots until after the polls close. So that's a disparity right there, just depends. And like, that's the real horseshitting back to have all the opinion. Republicans are treating this. It's like states who are trying to give people, you, relief and let them know the election results on Tuesday night. So they've, some of them where the law is fuzzies, have asked permission to,

um, to count the mail and ballots to start counting them early so we can, so you can know the totals. And the Supreme Court has told them no. So I mean, I don't, what, one side of his mouth,

Kavanaugh says that people need to know the results on election night. And the other side of his mouth, he says, but you can count mail and ballots. I mean, what am I missing? as far as like, what is the downside to doing that? Like, why wouldn't you, you don't have to, like, make it public or whatever,

but why wouldn't you go ahead and start counting the votes you already have, you know, at advance? Like, what's the argument for not doing that? Your argument is that Brett Kavanaugh was in George W. Bush's legal team in Florida in 2000. Well, I mean, yeah, but I'm saying, like, obviously it's bullshit, but I'm saying I can't even wrap my brain around what the ostensible argument is for why that's a bad thing. You know, I don't get that. I mean, pretty much every judge is just doing motivated reasoning at this point. Conservatives are worse about it because they're like, they'll just find whatever justification they need to get the result they want.

And whatever, it's fine. They're politicians too. They might just accept it now. But anyway, so that there's stuff like that to worry about like today a judge blocked an election day ban on open. carry of guns near Michigan polling places, which is not good news. That seems a little ridiculous. Blocked a ban on open carry at the pole, meaning bring your gun to the pole. Yeah.

So lots of various court cases about ballot county rules and all this shit going on right now. And so everybody has already heard that stuff and you're afraid of it. I wanted to give you some good news, right? All right. Please do. Wisconsin, for example, we just talked about how you need to get your mail ballot in now. A lot of people have already taken that to heart, depending on which number, whose count you're going by. Somewhere between 62 and 80% of requested mail ballots have already been returned to week out. So people already know that Brett Kavanaugh is an asshole and they're getting their ballot in.

All right. Because what the decision did was basically said that like the rule, the rule has always been that as long as it's postmarked by election day in Wisconsin, still gets counted. And you have it up to six days after the, after election day to get the votes counted. He said no, election night. So, you know, the postmark's not going to count. it has to be received by election day or you're not getting counted. So if you live in Wisconsin,

just drive down to your county registrar and turn in your ballot. This one's a weird one. Trump canceled all of his Florida TV ad buys. Yeah. Five and a half million dollars. The RNC is still running like $4 million of ads there, but that's a hell of a weird surrender.

He moved that money to Minnesota, which he's not even close to winning by the court of the public polls. That's super weird. I was about to say. It feels like you could tell. take that either way. You know, like he's like

counting it as a done deal in Florida already somehow or is effectively surrendering one way or the other. It's a weird move to make in the very last week. I feel like to take it up from one of the most well-known battleground states and put it, reallocated

all to a state that he seems to have no chance in. That's a really odd move. He's still doing rallies in Florida. So it's not like he's like ticking ever all all the time and resources out of there, just the money. And it doesn't usually would read this as surrender,

right? Yeah. But you could also be paranoid and say, well, they've got it fixed. So they just told them it's in the bag to spend the money elsewhere in a more competitive race. Well, I mean, just because Trump is Trump, and I know that, like, he has all kinds of people who are actually running

this sort of thing for his campaign. But still, he's at the head of it. Just because he is who he is, I could also buy that it was, that it was the optimistic for his campaign scenario meaning like no way we lose Florida

we got this locked up whether because they purchased it or they you know been told the fixes in or whatever like you're saying or just because you know that's just the way he is I think that would be insane

I'm just saying I would believe pretty much anything coming from them including that but yeah either way it's weird I don't you have to like one thing

polling does is it makes it hard to steal elections because you have a general snapshot or a framework of what the what the vote total should look like right and florida's really close right now um even like even the conspiratorial of people that the famous quote attributed to call row which no one knows if you said or not about Ohio in 2004 that like you can't steal it but it has to be within two or three percent points right you can't you can't look too guilty stealing it or you're going to get caught and then you got hard scale you know civil unrest um so I don't know what, I mean, you never know what they're up to or what they're doing, but Trump's running out of money. And here's the numbers. Since Labor Day, Trump has cut $24 million from his national ad budget while Biden has added $197 million. Biden has outspent Trump three to one over that time nationally, according to this source. Yeah, I don't know what to make. Like, Biden's still spending a shit ton of money in Florida.

Old people would have opened their asses off. The main Trump ads they have up in Florida, the R&C is running a stuff line about Medicare. So they are still trying in theory. Yeah, but I don't know what to make of it. They moved all the polling averages moved to Texas to being a toss-up, which I lived in Texas for a long time. I was actually just about to ask you about Texas, your old stomping grounds.

What do you think is actually? Because Texas has been a lot of news about Texas as far as the election got. Like Texas is hot right now with election talk because there's a lot of, I don't know. It seems like maybe it could be in play. Do you believe that? I mean, in my heart. heart i i can't you know it doesn't but then again bettow only lost like three points in

twenty eight and trump is markedly more uh you know it has a lot more baggage i got around his neck than ted cruise does and an off-year election um even though cruz is not as popular as trump in texas but it's this is just that what's happening is turnout is through the roof man i saw like a little bit two days ago i saw that three times many people under three times many people under three 30 it already voted in Texas than voted in the 2016 in total. And Trump. That has got to be, that has got to be a huge benefit for the left, you would think.

Yeah, I mean, the, like Trump's, uh, Trump, uh, anti-Trump versus pro Trump and that age goal war, it was like, in that same polling group was like 70% opposed, 15% for. Um, I guess the other 15 just didn't have an answer. Right.

I mean, the side in the voting booth. But like 8 million people have already voted in Texas. Um, It's, uh, Texas relied on voter suppression for a long time because it's a majority of minority state. If all the Latinos went voted, it did the politics of Texas would look completely different. And, uh, uh, the Biden campaign is still running a bunch of, uh, ads in West Texas in the Rio Grande Valley and El Paso and stuff or the terribly Latino. So I don't know what to tell you, man.

Like I, like, it's, it's going to be close. Um, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's wild. I don't know. We'll see. So, uh, we're going to get to the. y'all's comments and stuff here shortly just FY I mentioned we got producer Matt now part of being part of filling that role is he's going to be curating the comments and everything for us So we'll see what he comes up with but we trust him but we got before we before we get to that Amy Coney Barrett

Always make sure to say her full name mark Amy Coney Barrett has been confirmed the Supreme Court and her confirmation was not as a aired by either MSNBC or CNN. And Fox News is irate over that decision. It was the vote, right? It was the Senate vote that wasn't covered.

The Senate vote. The vote on her confirmation. Yes. Wasn't covered by MSNBC or CNN. They've covered every other one for the past pretty much since they either of them has existed. And it didn't cover

this one. And Fox News ain't having it. Here's what said on their website today. This is a quote from conservative strategist Chris Barron of Fox News. They have abandoned any pretexts of being news organizations.

They exist solely as propaganda machines, spinning news when they can, flat out ignoring it when they can't spin it. And I'm just glad somebody finally said something, Mark, you know. That's somebody at Fox News had the balls to stand up and speak out against the propaganda going on at CNN and MSNBC. It's just for like, like, they compared it.

It's like, well, they said they covered the Brett Kavanaugh hearings even though they opposed him. It's like, well, I don't, I don't know how, I mean, I know that people work at CNN and NBC or tend to be cosmopolitan and liberal coastal people. And so, like, their suspicion that people who work there disagree with them is probably true. to a large extent, but also, um, they covered the Kavanaugh hearings because it was good television because they were right. Of course. Yeah. Yeah. That was, that was phenomenal television. Yeah. If I can't even talking about boofing and all that shit he was up there doing, losing his mind frothing at the mouth. Like every that was my CTV. Yeah. Bear, another hand, did everything she could. Does it make everything about it boring as shit. They still

carried most of it live and the vote was everyone knew the vote total before the count was happened. Like, um, Penn's the even by the way. Now, there partly because he's you know semi everyone he's in contact with is dying of COVID but secondly because he uh the result wasn't in doubt they didn't need him to break the tie as the president of the Senate so um it yeah they're gonna find something to get mad about it's a very weird one you got your Supreme Court they they will never not be mad about something man you you won do you well that's their well that's because their whole thing is driven by rage and fear you know they got to have one or the other I mean like

literally they have to either be mad or like upset slash scared by something or it doesn't it doesn't play it's like if uh like i don't know pick a you're your boy dare canry scores a 60 yard touchdown and get mad about what angle video angle they show is celebration dance from it's like who can't give a shit you got your touchdown you won the game yeah all right so we've got a comment here from Don Parks. Don says Democrats are outvoting Republicans two to one in Michigan, according to early voting.

And again, that sounds great, but that's kind of what I was saying earlier. I feel like you would expect that, right? Maybe not. But I'm saying I feel like actual like election day voting, like day of voting,

just based on my own biases, feels like it has to be skewed red over blue, given the circumstances this year. Even in typical years, with the political analysts always say, as Democrats vote early, Republicans vote late.

But like, the thing about getting early vote is once you get it, it's already in the bank, right? You've already banked it. The thing about election day vote is like, for $3,000 down, or if it rains that day, if your car gets a flat tire,

your boss willing you off work early, it's a vote that doesn't count it. So everyone should try to vote early if you can't. All right. We got from Just Be Kind. No, go ahead. My red city and a red county in a red state, I've seen so many by-nights.

This is good news. We've talked about, like, I don't believe yard signs because I don't, I don't, I mean, more probably if you're a yard-side person. I mean, I'm with you, but what we talked about before was the exact opposite. You know what I mean? Meaning, like, we were saying, I feel like Trump, Trump's crowd is more, they love hats, shirts, signs, bumper stickers. Like, they love any kind of thing.

that displays their, you know, affiliation in your face so you can hate it and they can hate you back. So I feel like, you know, using signs as an indicator, like, inherently favors them, which is why this is particularly encouraging for where Mr. or Miss just be kind lives because that is, I ain't going to lie.

That's wild to me. My hometown is a very red town and a very red town in a very red county in a very red state and you ain't going to see to me Biden signs there. So I like to hear it. I mean, I can tell you personally like Joe Biden could pass Medicare for all and

all the wars and give me a free government issued house on the moon. I still wouldn't wear a Biden hat. Not in my nature. What about the, you wouldn't wear one with him and Kamala as the members of Outcast? You didn't like that one? I don't know if you guys saw it. Great new merch out there.

Look, it's not official. It's not official merch. It's some fan-made merch. But what some enterprising young Democrats have done, Mark, is that they have turned Joe Biden into Andre 3000 and Kamala Harris into Big Boy or vice versa, one of the two. I think Kaumel of Big Galbrae, yeah.

Okay, either way. And then replicated the iconic album cover for Stankonia. And, you know, that's just top quality stuff. I don't know why you wouldn't want that, Mark. I don't know why you wouldn't wear that everywhere. To me, that's pretty cringe, right? I think we agree on that.

Do you think that kind of enthusiasm? I mean, I guess enthusiasm in general is good. To me, it feels like it might turn off as many people as it. I mean, I guess it's different can. You shouldn't vote how you're going to vote regardless of how corny that people vote the same way you do are. But it's just very weird. So Sarah, okay, Sarah Kohia, Trichel, Trichel.

I'm sorry, Sarah. I go to Chichel, yeah. I say Trichel. Sarah Cohea Tchurchell says, people are afraid to have a Biden sign because the Trump flag people are kind of scary. And again, I hear you. We talked on an episode a few, a couple weeks ago about this.

And I was talking about my uncle Tim, and he's a out and proud, both gay man and liberal in my hometown. And he's had signs, Biden signs, and before that, Hillary signs and everything. And people have fucked with his signs. So, I mean, you know, you're not wrong. They probably will get fucked with, depending on where you are.

And maybe that's just more trouble than you think is worse. You know what I mean? I don't blame anybody. Like Mark said, I don't, I mean, I don't fuck with signs either. Obviously, I scream my opinions all over the goddamn internet, so it ain't that I'm ashamed to none of them. We're trying to keep it a secret. But yeah, I just don't, I don't traffic in the signs personally.

But more power to you if you do. I'm a big fan of petty crime. So, like, one of my favorite thing about election years is the suburban sign wars. Yeah. Now, I'm not saying to burn to me by his property, anything like that, but like one guy's Trump's son kept getting stolen, so he literally put it in a glass case and bought like a crane. So it's like 40 feet off the air in a glass case because no, someone can steal his Trump sign anymore. And I got to think that's really funny to take a free yard sign and then spend, I know,

5, 10 grand keeping it safe. Right. Yeah, like you said, that puts the petty and petty crime right there, buddy. Greg Boyle says, so I don't know if you guys will see this or not, but I'm here. hearing chatter on the news about the Supreme Court ultimate. You can't read that. Oh, Matt. Yeah, producer Matt, sorry.

Some of the ones that are longer, we won't be able to read them off. Oh, he said, so Matt clarified in the chat. Okay, let me read again. Greg Boyles. So I don't know if you guys will see this or not, but I'm hearing chatter on the news about the Supreme Court ultimately deciding the election. Yeah, I've heard that get brought up to the idea of that happening.

And, you know, not into that since they got their big six, three majority now and everything. And I look, it's one of those things where like it will have to be, well, I don't know, you go ahead, Mark. So a couple of things. Going back to we said a few minutes ago, they can only steal it if it's really close. Right. That's what I was about to say. It, it, the court cases that were throwing out a few thousand mail-in ballots here and there won't make any difference if Biden won't floor at about $150,000 or whatever. It just, it just won't. And they will have no pretext to throw it out.

you've seen the level of people in the streets. And one reason I was like, I was talking to friends about this. We're talking about like whether or not the protests and turn into riots or they're gone too far. Like you don't want to be admonishing these people because if it comes down to the elections contested, you're going to want bodies in the streets.

And these are the people going to know how to deal with tear gas and shit. So you don't need, you don't need allies on this. But I just really, my deeply contrary intake is it's going to be fun. I mean, like one of the reasons they hurried Comey Barrett through

is so he, Connie Barrett threw it so they don't need Trump anymore. Like, this is, like McConnell's spending all his money defending Senate seats in Georgia, Iowa,

North Carolina. This is not what he wanted to be doing in this election. Like they're, they're, you can tell from T leaves, they're planning to lose. They're planning to get blown out

in this election. That's what the court was about. They didn't install Connie Barrett to say, they might have told him she'd be there to rule to break a tie in case in election, but they put her there so they don't need

to hold the Senate to Presidents anymore. That's what that was. That was a right. So going back to what you were saying earlier about that, I got a I got a DM on my Facebook page the other day from from a fan who was saying, asking me like, can you like come out and encourage people to take to the streets if Trump tries to steal the election or whatever? And I mean like, yeah, I totally will if that is happening.

But I feel like if you referred to it, I mean, that's what we're going to have to do. do if it really does come to that. You know, like, that's a real thing. If he really does attempt this bullshit, like everybody thinks he might, we're going to have to flood the streets and make as much noise about it as we possibly can because what the fuck else are we supposed to do? Hopefully it won't come to that.

But, yeah, like you said, at least a lot of people on the left have gotten acquainted with tear gas by now. Because we might be right back out there in a couple of few short weeks. There was a story today about, you know, reporters have gotten. pretty good at infiltrating the discords and chat message boards for all these white supremacists groups like v dare and anyway so even those white supremacist groups aren't planning election day actions they're planning for how to organize after trump is gone after the election they've accepted his defeat these are people who live dreaming of a race war they're not planning should for election

day they're planning for they're planning how to keep their movement going post-trump after their god emperor has been defeated so um you can everybody nobody wants to believe polls anymore but because, you know, they're like a dog that hit with a stick, you know, and every time somebody lifts the stick. I mean, yeah, I'm that dog. I'm openly admit I'm that dog. I'm just still, I'm just not comfortable with confidently declaring that it's in the bag or whatever. Because just because of the way it went last time.

We talked about this a little bit last time, but let me, uh, let me find these numbers. Okay. in 2016 the final pre-election average showed Hillary Clinton leading Trump 46.8 to 43.6. She went on to win the popular vote 48.2 to 46.1. They were essentially off by like 2.5%. If the polls are still off by 2.5% this time, Biden still wins panily. Also what happened then, like the district by district polling for the House districts should have been flashing red showing real dangerous signs for Hillary in 2016, but people brush them off.

The same district by district polling this time shows huge swings the other way against Trump. So like districts Trump won by like 16 points last in 2016. He's winning by like two now. This is like all over the country. That's not enough to keep control of these states. So all these Republicans retire from the Senate and Congress because they didn't want to have this fight. The party's moving past.

They're going to try to hang on to what they can and act like he didn't happen. And let's look at it in George W. And that's just the world really. Well, there again, as I've said repeatedly on the show, Mark, I hope you're right, but. Another reason I try to, it's far for me to be optimistic. Trey knows me. I know, no, it is. It's weird.

This is like the only, this is the only subject, the one, arguably the most important subject. This is the only subject upon which Mark is consistently optimistic whenever I talk to him. So part of it is. should tell me something, I guess. Part of it's to, you know, suit my own anxiety. But part of it's just like, this framing, people go, ignore the polls. But it's like, well, people like being on a bandwagon. Yeah.

Don't think draws a crowd like a crowd. People want to run the score upon Trump. They don't be waiting in line seven hours to barely eat out of victory. Don't be waiting in line for seven hours to vote in the middle of a fucking party. You know what I'm saying? So like, so be a happy warrior, you know, go vote. It's failed to be. I have faith to work out. Mark has faith. All right.

Becky G. G. from YouTube says, need to be focused on the Senate races. I don't know, like primarily focused, but I agree completely. Like, that's a huge point that needs to be made repeatedly to people that, like, don't believe and vote, you know, their vote doesn't matter or whatever. People need to be reminded constantly that you are not just voting for president. You're voting for a lot of down-the-bush. ballot elections too. And yes, the Senate ones are massively important.

If Democrats don't take the Senate, they can't pass enough steam to rescue the economy. And Republicans will absolutely make us as economically miserable as possible to try to make Biden's presidency suffer just like they did Obama's in 2008 through 10. McConnell's whole thing about his goal was to make Obama a one-term president. Now, he failed at that, but he also slowed the economic recovery to the point where we never quite got out of it even until this before this one. You want to have like extra little

cushions because you want to be able to let Manutian vote against spending bills. You're going to be able to let, you know, the red state Democrats be the Republicans they want to be in their heart. So you want like 55 senators. Yeah. You want you want both Democrats to win in Georgia. You want Iowa seems like

it's a pretty good shape. Michigan right now. January Harrison, by I'm on. Absolutely. He's a long shot, but yeah, it'd be great to see Lindsey Graham go down. But, yeah, what's going to call it? Corey Gardner looks going to lose to Hakenlooper in Colorado. Although Hakenlooper is not a Democrat, I would love to have representing me,

but I'm saying he's better than Gardner. And again, if you have 55, 56, 54, whatever seats, you can let Gardner and what's his name in West Virginia, you can let them, you know, walk away from your spending bills. It would be fine. Yeah. So Anna Ledford, a nafey or a naffy or a naffy, one of those, says, I've got vodka and skittles ready for celebration or drowning my sorrows.

And it sounds to me like you're on the right track. You got all your bases covered, Anna. I support your strategy. Well, I mean, that's what happened. I'm sure that's what happened to a lot of y'all. But in 2016, I was sitting home. with my wife and we were drinking wine, not champagne. It wasn't that, you know, ironic. But we were drinking wine sitting there watching and expecting to be toasting to Trump's defeat and ended up,

you know, housing all that wine in an effort to drown our sorrows, as you just said. So it's a good move. It's a good move to have your vodka and skittles out there and ready, regardless of what happens. My wife was drinking champagne because she was very... Really? She was very excited to toast the first president. And she was over to a friend's house back when we used to be able to do that. And she's still so traumatized by it that she misremembers me being there. When I know exactly where I was at, she still argues with me that I was there.

No, I was the Lakers game. It was opening night for the Lakers. My friend had good tickets from his company. And we were down there. And the news, I think I told you this story before on the show, but news came in during the game, and it was absolute quiet in the stands. The players must have been very confused.

And, uh, yeah. So, yeah. That's funny. But, yeah, I did not know that story when I said the champagne thing. That's funny.

Yeah, no, it was surreal, man, because like when I, like I got on the subway, the here north in the valley to go down to Staples Center. And it was still celebratory.

I get off the subway and, All shit's falling loose and you step into a bar and everyone's doing that thing. We're like, look at the floor results. Like, well, Dade County hasn't come in yet. The thing that turns everybody into it electric. Day County is not in yet. Day County. I've never been to Dade County.

I couldn't pick down the map and know what's from where Miami is. But yeah, it was a weird night. It was a weird night. I don't know if this is, I don't, if this is a weird story to share or not, but it's my story of what happened that night. I was sitting there drinking wine with my wife in the context very much changed. But another thing that happened was, I was in contact with a producer at ABC News

because I had just recently done they'd done a nightline piece on me or whatever and so I was in contact with those same people and they were going to bring me on amongst all these other people but it was clearly like a victory lap situation right and they're like yeah we'll call you later and then like as more and more stuff kept trickling in

they were emailing me like yeah we're going to wait and see and then like it just all fell apart over there basically, right? And they were just, they were like, yeah, we don't know what, they were like, we don't know what we're going to do. We can't. I'm sorry, we'll just, who the fuck knows?

They're just like, I could hear them getting drunk over the email chain, basically, as their entire world collapsed, pretty much over the course of the evening. I will say this to Anna, with your vodka and Skittles. Unless Biden does win Texas, you might be waiting until Thursday to have your vodka.

so don't get drunk it too. Or she could drink it the whole time, you know. Yeah. She'd be a champ hanging there for a couple of days. Do you think she's putting the stagled in the vodka? I don't know. It's a good question. I've seen that done.

I've seen that done with Jolly Ranchers too. Like you kind of sour candy, throw it in a vodka bottle, let it sit for a while. You know, it's a move I support. But at any rate, everybody out there, whatever comfort or celebratory device you need. For next Tuesday, you only got one week to get it together. Well, like Mark said, it might be a couple days after that.

But anyway, the point is, we're in the home stretch. We're about to see it. So get your shit lined up so you can handle your business in the aftermath, no matter which way it goes. And with that, that's it for this episode, Mark. Got anything you want to leave people with? No, I just shout out to Matt. Shout out to producer Matt on his first night.

Yay. We love you. All right, and we love y'all, too, and we'll see you here in 48 short hours on Thursday. Evening skews. So you. Well, welcome back, everybody. It is Thursday, October 29th. I'm Trey Crower.

That's Mark Audey. What's up, Mark? What's up, Trey? Nice classes. Yeah, thanks. This is evening skews. You know how we normally begin, but before we get to the Daily Dumbass,

I got to address the elephant in the room. I'm sure many of you are wondering, why does Trey look so cool? What is it? Can't put my finger on. It's particularly good hair day. something was it the Willie Nelson shirt, something with the mustache. What is it?

It's given off this aura of coolness from Trey. Perhaps it's the shades inside after sundown. And you are right. That's exactly what's causing this coolness to radiate off of me. I'm not doing this just because I'm feeling it for the evening or I'm trying to jazz up the proceedings. No, I'm doing this to spare you all the horror that is my eyeballs at present. I had surgery on my eyes yesterday.

day. Not as gnarly as it sounds, but still kind of gnarly. I'm going to be fine. It's something I've needed to have done for a long time. Finally found a doctor at UCLA that could do it. I've had double visions. Reason you always see me with glasses because I had to wear special lenses that corrected the double vision that I have. And I finally found someone who could do a little procedure and fix it. And he did, but it left my eyes very fucked up looking in the wake. And again, I'm trying to spare y'all from that. But I know it's one of those things were like, I feel like a lot of people are going to be dying to see it

just because I got a morbid curiosity. And also I've kind of overhyped it. It's probably not as bad as I'm making it sound. But it's still kind of rough. So I'm going to show y'all real quick, and then I'm going to put them back. But this is what we're working with underneath there right now as I lean in.

Spooky eyeballs for a spooky season. Happy Halloween, everybody. I can make a hell of a zombie if I wanted to. This is also the reason we're doing a site. shorter show tonight because, you know, goddamn, just had surgery on my fucking eyeballs yesterday. Before anybody asked, yes, I am on pills, but

you try having your eyeballs cut into it and not being on pills, but Mark's going to carry us tonight. We're going to have a good time. The show must go on as we say in the biz. And we've got some fun stuff to talk about, don't we, Mark? Hell yeah, man. I've got a few dumbasses I'm excited about. Yes,

so let's get right into that. Daily dumbass, producer math. Throw the... And tonight's honorary is anyone without a death wish who attended a Trump rally this week. Apparently, anyway, seems that Trump's trying to cut out the middleman, which is father time, and just take his supporters out right now. Two times in three days, a Trump rally and the weather have combined to make a bit of a health hazard for Trump supporters. It started in Omaha, Nebraska, a couple nights ago, Tuesday night, where multiple supporters had to be rushed to the hospital after they nearly froze to death after being stranded at the rally itself.

Trump flew away, waving in Air Force One while they were stuck on the tarmac, unable to get back to their cars in sub-freezing weather. Yeah, this is a great one because he's, the reach that Nebraska he's in, he's like, this is one of the states that divides his electoral votes. And he's already like, he's way out of contention for that one.

So he basically froze these people for nothing. There's no even point out in the rally. It's not, go ahead. Go ahead. Oh, no. It's just like,

I guess maybe it's close enough to another, another media market, another state it could have, but it was just like, this is a, this is a farewell tour. It feels like he just wants to get out there and see the people one last time,

like McGregard's done a thousand times. So. Yeah, also the thing I liked about this it's like his entire organization administration are just like almost clinically averse to taking any kind of responsibility for anything. Because did you see what their official response was to this? They said that they basically blamed it on the local authorities saying that there were local road closures and a lack of infrastructure to support people getting out of there, whatever, and that they do everything they can at every event to ensure that everyone has a wonderful experience.

So they just totally threw the good people of Omaha municipalities under the non-existent buses that weren't there to take people to safety. Lack of infrastructure. You're telling me the subway in Omaha was closed that night? Right. But again, this was only one of two life-angering Trump rallies this very week. The second one was on the other end of the spectrum. The heat in Tampa, Florida. Today, right? That was today.

Tampa, Florida, Trump rally. 90 degree weather, 17 people had to be rushed to the hospital. After they were packed together, of course, all without mask in this humid heat. The fire department was there, tried to spray people down with some mist in the air, didn't work. You know, these people were old during ill health, and, you know, just wasn't a good combination. Yeah, this is, like, the first rally this week was too cold. The second one was too hot. the next one's going to be just right.

Just right. Rating for that Goldilocks rally somewhere in Pennsylvania or whatever. At least Florida is competitive, so there was a point behind the rally, theoretically. Yeah, so he was also, I don't think anything went down at this one, but he was in Huntington Beach like a week or so ago. Nothing really happened there of note. But I just remember thinking that was weird. Because, like, I don't know, it seems like it's crunch time.

I mean, you already, you said it's like, what is this? A farewell tour at this point? Also, maybe this stuff is booked so far in advance or whatever, but it seems like he's just, I don't know, he's got some head scratching moves. That was like a $50,000 plate dinner though, right? Oh, okay, as a fundraiser thing. Yeah, he got a cash because they stole it all, as James Carville put it.

They've grifted all the campaign money, and they're out of resources to run in the election. You can steal too much, it turns out. Yeah. sabotage yourself. All right. Well, that's our official dumbass for tonight, dumbassery, but we got some honorable mentions.

As you all know, we have trouble pairing these things down sometimes because there's just so much dumbass shit that goes on in the world. Next up, we're sticking with the Trump administration, who apparently, like many of our uncles back home, still believes that wrestling is real. Wrestling is real to them, damn it. Can me set this up? Yes, please.

All right. So once again, the consequence of being out of money, they try to use government resources to do quasi campaign stuff. Like they're going to spend $250 million in this PSA campaign about how great the government's done handling COVID. So they made this dossier of celebrities. You take it down for a second, Matt, of celebrities to list all their, they only wanted Trump supporting celebrities, right? So like, no, yes, Scott Bayo, no George Clooney, right? So they make a list of these people with their political activities and arrest histories, criminal records. So Rhonda Rousey was a no, one, because she supported Bernie Sanders in the primary.

And two, because she was arrested in 2019, except she wasn't arrested in 2019. She was arrested on Money Night of Raw as a bit, which led to this headline. We didn't see this story now. Yes. Trump administration's celebrity tracker doc confuses Rhonda Rousey's fictional WWE arrest with reality. Yes, her official dossier in the administration reports her having been arrested in 2019

and that was part of a bit on Monday Night Raw which, as you're about to say, not the first time that that's happened. This is what makes it extra funny is anybody remember the writing a story from like 2015 when the campaign was underway. Monday Night Raw also did a bit once where I think it was during Vince McMahon's feud was Stone Cold, I think.

One of his many feuds was Stone Cold. McMahon got in his limo and then the limo blew up. He was mysteriously murdered on Monday Night Rags if he wasn't because of wrestling. But Donald Trump, concerned for his lifelong best friend Vince McMahon, whose wife, Lindemann, is in Trump's cabinet.

That's how good friends they are and how close they are. Called WWE headquarters to check on Vince to make sure he was okay after someone had blown up his limousine. So, okay, I had already long since stopped watching wrestling by the time Donald Trump got involved. Look,

I loved wrestling as a kid, too. I loved that shit. But then I fell out of it. And I know that Trump's in, like, the wrestling Hall of Fame, and I know he had involvement with WWU and stuff. But I'm saying they makes all this even dumber. Like, he's been Stone Cold Stunnered. Like, he's been behind the curtain.

He's participated in it. Like, so how does he possibly not? He, you think he should know better than most wrestling fans with these productions? No. Like, how can he possibly? Because you're missing how his brain work because they put him over, Trey. He would show up a wrestling match

and they would have him win most of the time. So he really thinks he'd like beat the rock in a fight. He just thinks he's fucking awesome. Yeah. It's his whole personality, all of his losses are fake and all of his wins are real, even if there's good. That is truly unbelievable.

All right. Another honorable mention for the Daily Dumbastery. I think this is the first time this guy's made an appearance in any capacity on the daily dumbassery, which is honestly surprising. He's too dangerous to just be a dumbass usually, but this is, this was,

this is fun. You guys know him, you hate him, Mr. Tucker Carlson, who apparently was on the cusp of breaking, world-rending controversy and scandal that would have shaken our democracy to its core, but unfortunately,

had a little bit of mishap with the mail. Matt, you play this clip? Tucker Carlson. There's always a lot going on that we don't have time to get to on the air, but there's something specific going on behind the scenes right now that we did feel we should tell you about. So on Monday of this week, we received from a source,

a collection of confidential documents related to the Biden family. We believe those documents are authentically real and they're damning. At the time we receive them, my executive producer, Justin Wells, and I were in Los Angeles preparing to interview Tony Babelinski about the Biden's business dealings in China, Ukraine, and other countries. So we texted a producer in New York and we asked him to send those documents to us in L.A. And he did that. So Monday afternoon of this week, he shipped those documents overnight to California with a large national carrier, a brand name company that we've used, you've used countless times with never a single problem.

But the Biden documents never arrived in Los Angeles. Tuesday morning, we received word from the shipping company that our package had been opened and the contents were missing. The documents had disappeared. Now, to its credit, the company took this very seriously. It immediately began a search. They traced the envelope from the moment our producers dropped it off in Manhattan on Monday. Oh, man. Damn the luck.

Can you believe it? It was this close. What are the odds, Mark, of that happening? Man, you just know some Biden operatives planned us six months ago. They got a job at UPS union job. It's hard to get. So you've got to really get in character. You got to stab.

Buddy. This is Antifa Special. Porsches right here. Like this is our, this is our like, uh, Navy Seals squad we had on this mission. Yeah. These are the same people who think the mail's too untrustworthy to, to, to, to, for, to you to vote with. But they have these documents that could save America from the Biden criminal organization. Only copy, by the way. Only, the only, the only, the only copy of this vital democracy saving package. And they entrusted it to the mail. And look what happened.

Trey, I got a PDF app on my phone. Take a picture and ship a PDF. Maybe, and I just love that they're getting all these secret documents from, I guess a guy that Hunter Biden had a ball falling out of her business deal with named Tony Bobuilinski, which is like the most mookish name is like, like you just know his friend on Tony Bologna and this is the guy. Yeah, now Tony Treason. That's Tony Treason over there.

Tony Treason. Tony Bobolinsky. Bobelinski's like Polish or something. I don't know why I'm doing an Italian accent, but either way. You've got an Italian. And you've seen, if you've seen him talk, he's a very Italian vibe to him. Plus, it's just a, yeah. But it's a, yeah, this is all, it's such an amazing horseshit.

I mean, I don't know the truth of what, like, oh, if you told me a Hunter Biden was trading on his dad the name to get jobs, he'd be like, probably, it sounds like every rich that I know. But I don't understand why the future of the republic depends on what he told, emailed somebody in China. And I definitely don't believe in his fucking documents. Right. From Tony Bob Bulinsky.

So let's get into some more serious shadiness, Mark. We've got a big scandal or a wild scandal anyway to talk about. And won't you tell us about it has to do with Turkey and not the Thanksgiving kind. Yeah, so today's bombshell that nobody will remember two days from now. It would be a whole thing that would end any normal presidency. So apparently Bill Barr, there's a long running into investigation into a Turkish bank called Hankab bank. Hanka Bank. Hank Bank is Tony Bobbulinski's best friend. Halk Bank. So state-owned Turkish bank. Basically what they're under investigation for is laundering money for Iran, the Iranian government.

What Bill Barr did was he called the U.S. attorney who was running this investigation in and told him basically to let the bank off with a fine. because the criminal part of this investigation could have touched President Erdogan himself and his family looked like. So the guy was fired over it and is, of course, mad, not only just losing his job, but, you know, there's their national security implications because supposedly this is the, this is money is being used to fund Iran's nuclear weapons program, which I don't, I think most people who aren't the Iranian government think it would be good if they didn't get a nuclear bomb. but it's just like Trump if you guys don't haven't even keeping track of all this shit

Trump has a lot of business in Turkey it's probably one of his biggest overseas properties outside of like Scotland I think is he makes a bunch of money in Turkey including like his last tax returns that New York Times got a hold up he made $2.6 million in net income from Turkey in 2015 through 2018

he's also like not you believe much in the steel dossier but Turkey was implicated in that and shuffling money around. And everybody remembers the Russia part of Mike Flynn allegations, but the worst thing he was accused of doing was using his job as national security advisor to try to organize a kidnapping slash rendition

of a Turkish cleric by name of Fetula Gulan who lives in Pennsylvania. And Erdogan hates him and wants him tortured and dead. So yeah, this is all very extremely fun stuff. And we rant about international finance a lot, how normalized this kind of corruption is. Basically, you can't move money internationally without helping out terrorists and despots.

and oligarchs and, you know, drug traffickers and human traffickers and any other kind of dirt you're into. But like this shit's like, I mean, there's an example of how we got to like get our hands around that stuff and like bring our version of capitalism back under control or it's going to like stranglehold everything. Right. Well, like you said, you said you can't do it without hobnobbing with terrorist despots and oligarchs. And it's like all of, it seems like all of Trump's like homeboys on the global. geopolitical scene are all of they fit that bill. You know what I mean? It's this guy,

was it Bolsonaro, the dude in the Philippines, obviously Big Daddy Putin, like Kim Jong-un, like it seems like he's tightest with the most despotie-ist of the world leaders, while all of the more seemingly stable world leaders have nothing to do with him. And it's like birds of a feather and all that,

but it also has to do with all this dark money floating around that they all sort of, you know, benefiting from each other's bullshit and everything. What happened, like the big time Trump went bankrupt in early 90s he left all these American banks in the hook for all this debt. Right. When he put that famous line in his book where he'd walk him down the street with Ivanka,

which he didn't walk down the street. And he definitely missed spending on with his kid. But this is how the anecdote goes. That he saw a homeless guy out and goes, hey, look at that guy. He's $8 billion richer than me. because he was like so broken in debt. But the American Bank stopped lending to him. So basically he had to lower his quality control for his money came from.

And that's where you end up like they're like there were, Ivanka had this land deal in Europe that was caught. I mean, this is like this isn't like deep web conspiracy stuff. This is also in the newspaper. They were laundering money for the Iranian, the RRG, the Iranian Revolutionary Guard, which is their like loyalist militia, the answers directly to the mullahs.

and runs a nuclear reference program. They were, Trump organization was caught doing that and Ivanka's response to authorities was like, yeah, we figured that was probably the case, but we didn't check. So that's how that,

that was their loopholes. Why they weren't held criminal responsible. They didn't bother doing any homework. But like this stuff is like like, just domestic example of corruption here. We wanted to segue to just because it's, uh, or are you trying to do something?

You want to show another clip? No, no, no, no, I mean, I do if Matt can do it, but I'm springing something on them.

You just remind him. something and it's just funny i think people would just enjoy it but it please get to uh all right so anyway like we're talking about like how it's tough to explain other than iran getting a nuclear weapon how this stuff affects american taxpayers it just seems like garden variety grifting what normal politicians do but it's not this is like a higher level of bullshit they're up to and here's an example of last night's debate uh david peru versus john ossoff um where Purdue you might remember was one of the few senators caught insider trade after they were told that COVID was going to be really, really bad. They sold all their stocks. And in between those two things happening, they went

out and told their constituents on camera that COVID wasn't a big deal. So they'd have time to get their money out of the market for the regular suckers like us could wrap our heads around it. So he could be a clip for you, Matt. Well, perhaps Senator Purdue would have been able to respond properly to the COVID-19 pandemic. If you hadn't been fending off multiple federal investigations for insider trading. It's not just that you're a crook, Senator. It's that you're attacking the health of the people that you represent. You did say COVID-19 was no deadlier than the flu. You did say there would be no significant uptick in cases. All the while, you were looking after your own assets and your own portfolio, and you did vote four times to end protections

for pre-existing conditions. four times. And the legislation that you tout, the Protect Act, it includes loopholes that specifically allow insurance companies to deny policies to Georgians with pre-existing conditions. Can you look down the camera and tell the people of this state why you voted four times to allow insurance companies to deny us health coverage because we may suffer from diabetes or heart disease?

or asthma or have cancer in remission. Why, Senator? God, I love that. You're a seat of guys that soul leave his body. I know, right? He just, and this isn't, one of the tweets I saw in response to that said, is he blinking out SOS and Morse code or help me? He just stands there just blinking, just staring blankly into the void waiting for help. That's a good example of how like other people can't pull off Trump stuff because Trump would have pounded the table and said it wasn't true and accused his opponent being corrupt and interrupted and it wouldn't it wouldn't it wouldn't played that well right but like all

Purdue can do is like does it does that little finger we wants to do he wants to call a time out right yeah it was like that part is that's my favorite part of that and another way to a fun way to think about this is the reason he's under multiple investigations going back to bill bar meddling in the justice department and kelly lawfler's not is because he's not trumping enough right the problem produced problem isn't that he's going to go to jail for being too corrupt because he's being investigated for not being corrupt enough. Right. So.

Well, ain't that is just the way. All right. So, uh, producer Matt, you can start looking through the comments and stuff and throwing them up there. But first,

Mark literally just mentioned Ivanka, Ivanka's name earlier and it reminded me of something I saw last night that I just want y'all to say too. Just, I just, this guy, I just love a good booing. And this guy's really got it down,

I think. You can play it whenever, Matt. This is Ivanka. at walking how to stop the consistency the form he's even got good into it cuped hand around the mouth the technique yeah the persistence it's not personal it's not like personal. It's not like, you know, he didn't, he didn't make any kind of like, he didn't make it about how she looks or anything like that. Just a good old fashioned booing, which really gets

your message across, I feel. Just giving her the boozeness, man. Yeah, just like, just I object to everything about your general. Right. Right. You're wondering who invented the boo. Like, he was like, he was the first guy who was like, this is how I'm going to show my disproval. right yeah happening right now i'm just going to just make this not even a word just going to go boo like just a gutter yeah just like a gutteral instinctual like boo boo and everybody that heard it was like that's exactly it that's exactly how i feel about this too yeah let's all just roll with that i just like what's happening right now so much there's no word for it i just want to like push for my diaphragm and have you feel it.

Yeah. I just scared the shit of my cats. Yeah, Claudia Gambara, that just scares the shit out of my cat. Sorry about that, Claudia. I know cats could be jumpy. My wife just put a harness on our cat tonight because she intends to walk her.

I'll let you guys know in the coming episodes how that goes. I'm guessing poorly, but we'll see. Susan Elizabeth Marsh Tanabe says, boo, go to hell. He made my dog cry, but I loved it. Wish we'd been there.

Apparently, I didn't know animals were that put off by the sound of booing. Apparently, we've caused some upset amongst the pet population of our viewership. And for that, I apologize. But the humans seem to be enjoying it, so that's good. I try, I know dogs don't hit for you, but one thing is fun. God damn it, Mark, why you can't, listen, you can't just say that in a public form. It's not, dogs don't not hit for me. I'm a cat person that's a running joke amongst our friends, me and you, of course,

and Drew that you guys all love and worship at the altar of dogs and I just I prefer cats but I don't hate dogs I don't want anything bad to happen to dogs I just think it's funny to make fun of them because everybody's so up there on a house about a dog over with his car it's not true it's not true it's not true I've never been anything but sweet to his dog on the rare occasions I've encountered this is hilarious Nicole Swintoski says my mom is like what the hell is going on so it's not just the pets. We've just like the bystanders in people's houses. You got

somebody's cat, somebody's dog, and now somebody's mom. Everybody's confused. It's off in the periphery here. You do sorry. What? No, what were you? Oh, there's going to like to have that dressing Mark's new wallpaper.

So my aunt Kim watches this show regularly and she's screen grab the comments loud on Tuesday's episode about a bunch of people complimenting the wallpaper. They passed along my wife. she decorated our apartment. Basically, we moved apartments, and so I'm at a different location. And this is a, we now have room for dining room table and stuff.

So this is like a dining room wallpaper. It's very kitcheny. Somebody said a room out of their grandma's house. I like, I feel that way too. It makes me feel at home. I like it. Yeah, I like it too. I'm a big fan.

I, uh, the Ivanka booing video, what I think about, I don't think she realizes how like this is going to stick with her for a long, long time. Like, if you saw the, sent a cease and assist order about the stupid Lincoln Project billboard in New York about her and

Jared being responsible for a quarter million deaths because of COVID and you know screw the Lincoln Project and I'm not a fan of those guys they talked about that before but that's pretty funny that she didn't realize people in New York were here about the shit she was up to okay you opened that by saying what's funny about the Ivanka booing videos

she doesn't understand that's going to stick with her for the rest of her life you don't mean blue shirt guy booing her you mean the entire experience and the role she's played in it like she's underestimated the amount of dislikes she would receive for the rest of her natural life. Is that what you're saying? Yeah, yeah. Because I agree with that.

Yeah. I do want to start a go fund me to pay that guy a salary to follow her around. It just boo her. Yeah. Get him a national endowment in the arts or something. He's got the goods. Yeah. MacArthur Genius Grant as far as I'm concerned.

Everywhere she goes, the rest of her life is that we got in the blue shirt, everything about us the same. Boo. Shannon Flaherty Cardo says, may we all have the courage to stand alone as that booer who sounded like a whole damn crowd. Yeah, this guy's a big hit and rightfully so. Yeah, I'm in favor what you said, Mark. We should all get up the money to pay, yeah, give him a yearly salary to just be the official Ivanka and also Jared when he's around,

booer everywhere he and they go. That would be wonderful. I mean, I'm not here encouraging a sort of physical revenge or anything like that, but just have her bodily be annoyed and have people call, attention called to how much she sucks. every time she goes in the store, it'd be great. Rhonda Brinkman, I like dogs. I love cats. Friends, I'm with you, Trey.

Smiley face. Just so you know, Mark, I'm also getting booed in the comment section now. So thank you for that. People are very sensitive. Are people really funny to cancel you just because you run a dogfighting ring? I can't believe. That is not true. Nikki Feske says, did Trey address the sunglasses?

I did at the top of the show. but just to remind everybody that came in later, I had surgery on my eyeballs yesterday, and they looked bad, but I'm okay. I'm going to be fine, and I'm on pills, and I'm in recovery,

but we're having a good time anyway. But yeah, I'm not just trying to up the cool factor, although who knows I may keep them. But yeah, no, my eyes just look like shit right now from the procedure I had yesterday. Actually, a quick side note,

a little bit of a PSA here, and people that aren't white trash may not have this problem, but like this whole thing with my eyes has really illustrated to me the validity of the idea of a second opinion because i'm like trashed dumb and stuff and i used just think that like a doctor is a doctor right like all doctors they got access to all the same doctor books you know they know all the same doctor stuff that's not at all true because i've been to if you count optometrist and ophthalmologists i probably went to six or seven different eye doctors who told me that i couldn't do anything to fix my affliction and then I finally found a guy.

I actually randomly met an eye doctor at a Christmas party, and the doctor, she works underneath. Her boss is like a specialist that can fix the exact thing I have, and now they have fixed it. So get a second opinion if you think you need one. These doctors, they don't, some of them don't know shit, y'all. That's what I'm saying, like, you grow up, I feel like you grow up, you grow up fucking pouring shit,

and it's like doctors and loggers are like the top of the aspiration, you know, mountain. and like if you're a doctor that's like the end-all be-all and now doctors are great and they're heroes but some of them don't know shit. So if you got a doctor you think don't know shit, find you one that doesn't know shit. That's all I got to say.

Sumerat, Samurai's opinion tonight. Fuck doctors, Trump's right, fire, fouchy, and screw dogs. Listen to Robert Reyes says, you're funnier with the glasses and ain't the glasses, buddy. It's a pill. Yeah, that's the other stuff. Yeah.

Doing the heavy lifting there. Trasel or half a bottle of oxy, which is more than his normal cordobaloxi. Oh, hell no. We've ended up having a good time, but we are going to cut it short, though, I believe, because, like I said, I need to go in there, put an ice pack over my eyes laid back,

put on some instrumental musical scores or something. Get my Gwynnathon is what I'm saying. I'm going to free some cucumber slices. Put it up there, chill out. But, yeah, thank you all for joining us on this slightly abbreviated edition of eating skews. But also, the very next episode, have is what election night that's right and like i said who knows how long we're going to go that

night we're going to sit here and just revel in all the good or bad news as it comes in we'll have some guests we'll have a good time it's going to be fun that's next tuesday i got a double bongle with you picked up today for that for that event yeah yeah i think i'll be drinking too that'll be we'll be seeing how that goes anyway uh yeah come back next tuesday for the election and possibly the end of the world who knows we'll see but that's it for tonight thank you all very much we love you bye.