wellRED podcast - Star Wars, Baseball, Burger King, Mongers

Episode Date: May 6, 2026

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They're the little but sex. They care way too much, but don't give a fun. Next that makes some people upset. They got three big old dicks that you can suck. Well, here we are. It just occurred to me. The little presentation or slideshow, the music video that accompanies our song, what's the provenance of that?

How did it come about? Well, I really, man, I feel put on the spot now. I want to say, and I'll go back and check the email, it's been a long time since me and this guy talked. So forgive me for not remember. I think his name's Alex. Reached out was like, hey, I did this thing. Like, he just did it.

The main reason I ask is because I know it's been around long enough that it's like a pre-AI generated and that made me. That made me think like, that means someone made this. I was like, this is good. Who made this? So thank you. Alex, if that is the fact of their name. As Tray can confirm, we did not discuss bringing this up, and my brain is how my brain is.

I'll go back in my emails, but yeah, I just made it on spec and was like, you can use it if you want to. And I know on the first episode, I shouted them out and put their information in the thing, but who the fuck knows when that was. Yeah. So here we are. It's me and Cho. Drew's supposed to be here. He's not at present. I'm sure he'll be here shortly.

it often be that way. I want to talk about something real quick. I feel like you are going to have strong opinions about it. Drew, I would probably be like, I don't want to talk about this anyway. So this is mayonnaise? Kind of works out.

No, but I mean, you'll understand. For anybody that, anybody, any denizens of this universe that, you know, listen to all the shows or at least also weekly skews, you know, I brought this up briefly on their sort of extemporaneous.

I didn't mean to. It just sort of came up, but it was brief. I want to go a little more into detail on it here. And I threaded this in our group chat, so you saw it that day, I think. So yesterday was Monday, May the 4th, May the 4th be with you, Star Wars Day. On Saturday, I went to Yankee Stadium for the first time because I was with Donnie, who was a Baltimore boy, and they were playing the Orioles. And I'd never been.

And as I've said before, that's part of my various sundry midlife crises as I'm getting older as I'm getting more into baseball. I've always hated the Yankees, but I was like I've never been to Yankee Stadium. I'd like to go. So me and Donnie went on Saturday. I guess they're off yesterday or at least not at home because they celebrated Star Wars Day on Saturday at Yankee Stadium. And they did a bunch of shit. They had their stadium DJ dressed up as Chewbacca. They did a little parade of cosplayers around the stadium. They, you know, all kinds of things. The first however many thousand fans got like a, Baby Yoda, Yankees Biblehead or some shit like that.

But they also photoshopped all of their players in when they do the lineup. Like when Aaron Judge comes up to bat, they show him on the Jumbotron, which remind me actually later circle back to Jumbotron. It's totally unrelated to this. But anyway, put him up on the Jumbo Tron. Judge would be in Organa, I feel like. He would be in that family. He is Photoshop.

They're all Photoshopped. All the Yankees players are photoshopped into Rebblest. alliance gear. No, no, bro. I can't stop thinking about it. Like, it bothered me so much, and it still bothered. And again, I'm biased because I don't like the Yankees, but

I just, anybody, and that's exactly why you're right. I just really think, and okay, A, that, but B, it won't, it wouldn't not hit for their fans either. They would love it. Like, people think the empire is cool. Darth Vader is

cool. Right. Darth Mall. is cool. I would rather the Georgia Bulldogs, I'd rather them be represented as the empire than a rag tag group of rebels because we are. You know what I mean?

That's how I feel about us. And I just think it's just like such a bitch move like to, like it just again, I just, it's just another example of all these people that are at the top of these big like corporations and organizations and stuff that to me just seem to be completely out of touch. Oh yeah.

Or like tone deaf or whatever. It's like, or just cowardly. All of that, all of the above. It's like, what are you doing? And here's the thing. It's like, we don't hit so it don't work because we don't hit.

But if we did hit, like, I promise you, the Las Vegas Raiders would never. Like, would never. If they, like, it's in May, so it's in the offseason, thank God. Because if the Raiders did try to do some empire shit, they get clowned on so hard for being awful and stupid. I think they'd skip straight to the first order. They'd be worse than the empire. You know what I mean?

they'd be the, they'd go for the worst one. Yeah, but I know, I guarantee you they would embrace it. There's not a doubt in my mind. And the fact that the Yankees didn't, when they're like, arguably in all of American sports, like all sports in this country, they're like the most empire coded, I feel like. In stripes, you can't have your name because this is all about the team. There's no salary cap. There's no salary cap.

Yeah. Like, it's just like, there's just, I just find it to be completely inexcusable. and I'm going to always be bothered by it, I think. No one at the Yankees is ever going to hear me bitching about this, but I just thought it was just, I just really didn't like it. And Donnie, of course, didn't like it.

As soon as it came up, he was like, because he pointed out, he was like, I mean, we're orange. Of course. Yeah.

The Orioles, you know, he's like, we're a plucky upstart orange team that they're playing. Yeah. I did not making your, your opponents, the good guys,

but you don't have to do that. leave them in their baseball uniforms. Right. But if you're going to Photoshop your dudes, make Aaron Judge a fucking Sith or whatever, you know? Like, I just don't. I don't get it.

Yeah, like, the, I'm trying to think of, the Orioles could get away with it. The Mets, if they were the rebels, that'd be fine. Right,

that'd be totally fine. I'd expect them to be the rebels, and that would play, you know? It's just like, it's like, I'd rather hear somebody making fun of the Yankees

than making fun of the Mets because in comedy, we punch up. You know what I'm saying? and it should be the same here. And no, that is, and frankly, the fact that they haven't said anything about this, their silence is deafening, you know. Well, I think they just don't think nothing, you know, to them.

It's just, they're just like, no, that hits. That's, of course, of course, that's what we do. We're the good guys, you know, of course, we're not going to make ourselves the bad guys. I think it's just as simple as that. I do wonder how much of a conference. Exactly. They're terrorists. I told you.

I do wonder how much of a conversation they had about it. You know what I mean? Not much. Right. But I wonder if it was the thing where they were like, well, we can't, we can't make the Orioles the good guys in our stadium, though. Like, I wonder if they even got that far or if it was just automatic, like, you know, Aaron Judge is just going to be Luke or whatever.

The thing to, maybe you might disagree with me on this, but like, because they chose the rebels specifically, not just good guys, but the rebels, it's a very, there's, there's, you know, politics involved in that. Like if they'd just Photoshop them all as just random Jedi, I don't think it would be that crazy. They have an ex-wing pilot jumpsuits. The orange jumpsuit, that's what they had in mind.

I'm saying, like, if they had just been regular Jedi, we'd be like, yeah, whatever. But because they were in their military gear where they were fighting the empire, you know, it's like, no, you ain't that. Like, y'all might could be some, you know, some Jedi's that maybe hadn't reached master and it's just sort of like,

eh, whatever. but like you can't be fucking Saul Guerrera you can't be them right no you the opposite yeah and that hits good for you yeah that does yeah I know that's what I said when I brought this up to Mark he was like he's like I just don't get why teams like that you know it's like just like embrace it you know what I'm just like yeah fucking you know you're the best of all time in American sports nobody else is even approaching the same number of championships as them they're probably they're up there with the most hated always right like you're like lean into it. And also though, if you look at, New York, New York as a city leans into that whole thing, I feel like, you know what I mean? New York or nowhere. New York versus, you know what I mean?

Like, right, it's, I just, it don't hit for me. Also, not for nothing, but like, I know that we, you know, think of the rebels are the good guys in this, obviously because the empire is bad, but if you're talking about just scoreboard, the rebels won for like a day. You know what I mean? Like, it's not like,

It's not like the sequel series is about the rebels slowly losing their grip. No, they fucking didn't have it. The first order comes in and it's back to business. So like, do you want to win? Be with the Empire. Did you guys already cover what their point is? And you guys are just like, but I don't like it. It's not good enough.

Or can you not fathom why they did it? Because I know why they did it. The Yankees? No, what? First of all, fuck the Yankees, fuck baseball, and fuck Star Wars. Right. You're up to speak. Because Yankees fans are not the empire.

And so whoever is in charge of that marketing department or whatever. And I understand if you're part of the fandom, you're like, no, but we are the best team in the league. But like, at least in their minds, and this is bullshit, this is PR. I acknowledge all that. But you're talking about underdogs if you're talking about the outer boroughs. I mean, they're in the Bronx. You know what I mean? Like go next door to that stadium or not next door, but like one street over and tell some kid who lives in Section 8 and his uncle's,

living on the couch. Hey, we're the empire. You know what I mean? Yeah, but okay, on that note, though. I'm saying I buy it. I'm saying I think that's like, like the Yankees as an institution outside of New York are, of course, the empire. But inside it, people think that they're like gritty New Yorkers. And like, there's a lot of poor folk who cheer for the Yankees.

To be fair, they've all been pushed out of the fucking city the last 20 years. Right. Just because they're poor doesn't mean I don't think they would be Palpatine, palpatine sympathizers, because I do. we've seen it a lot in this country. Yep. That is true. But also, I just think purely from a fan perspective,

I already kind of alluded to this, I feel like if they hadn't done it, if they had gone the other way, and like I said, when Aaron Judge came up to bat, if the graphic they put up, especially if they've done a little promo, exactly.

Right. Right. Fucking, there's a red light saber. He's got real. Like, dude, that would hit for all of them. None of them would be like,

but we're all gritty fucking working class folk. No, it'd be like, They'll be like this rules, I think. So, like, I still don't, you know. Well, who do you want to be, Sigourney Weaver or the motherfucking alien? You know what I mean? Come on.

We're playing baseball. That motherfucker, I knew he's big. He's like six, seven, 285 pounds or something. Yeah, he's massive. I didn't see that. He's a big guy. I know, I knew he was a big guy, but like, he's huge. Like, he's wild.

It's wild out of how you don't realize it because they're all just. among monsters, you know, and stuff out there. But baseball players aren't as tall. No, I'm saying he's monsters compared to the other players. Again, I'm saying I knew he was a big guy. I just didn't realize he was that fucking gigantic.

But yeah, yeah, they sure did whip the Orioles ass. I'll tell you that much. The rebels, the scrappy the plucky little fellas came in and beat Orioles. They pulled it out. Cody fucking Bellinger hit like, he went three for three before Donnie got pissed and we left.

He went three for three and had two home runs. And then they showed him like in the dugout and he had like sunflower seeds in his hand and had his mouth open like this and was just going like throwing sunflower seeds at his whole face with his mouth open. Hey, did the strike, did the strike robot hit his hard live as it does watching it on TV? Oh, the, yeah, the, yeah, the review the thing. Yeah, yeah. It's been awesome.

It's great. Yeah. They only did that once and the Yankees won it, so everybody got all pumped and everything. Yeah. It's extra things to cheer for. It rules. Yeah. But Cody Bellinger is apparently, he's like, if y'all don't know, he's like, I don't know if he literally is stoned all the time.

It seems weird that he would be. But he like saying that, because maybe he's just that, like, dumb, which is also funny. But it was, like, funny to me to be. And I know it's sports, so it happens all the time. But it's like, this dude is just wrecking their shit. And then, you know, he seems to have the mind of an. year old when it like pans them on the fucking in the dugout or whatever which makes it more you know sort of bomb gardener always seemed seemed real high to me yeah yeah doc you know

it's how dumb i am so doc ellis right that there's a no hitter on no hitter on lSD yeah lsd it never occurred to me that didn't like the governmental form version of his that his name is ls comma d his name is lsd nice d d d d d d d nd I know. Yeah, that's nice. I know. Wow. Right? I know. Never thought of that in my life until I'm there, buddy. You're right until I saw it on a, like, of course, a Reddit thread the other day. It's all an op, dude. We're in a simulation, brother.

Dude, that shit's crazy. I mean, I don't know if y'all know the whole story about it, but, like, he, not only did he do that, he, like, he did not think he was supposed to be pitching. He was, like, at his old lady's house. Like, he was fucked up on LSD at his old lady's house, and they called and they're like, hey, what are you doing? Get your ass down to the ball field. He's like, no, I got a game tomorrow. And they're like, no, you've been up for three days. Dude, I've taken some acid and I've had some fun. But the reason I've had so much fun on acid is during the middle of me taking acid,

someone didn't give me a reality check on some shit I got to do. I would fucking lose my mind, dog. Do you think, well, I was about to ask the question that sort of assumed that back then they had less info and sort of common knowledge on bad trips. Right. Being weird in front of people, you know, et cetera, et cetera. But maybe that's stupid. I was about to be like, do you think it was easier for him?

Because he hadn't seen seven movies about how weird you get on acid. But it's like, I feel like the third or fourth month of acid, people were like, you ever see how weird these motherfuckers act? Well, that and also like back then you weren't ever, like if it happened to me, I'd be so worried, like, this is going to be documented and people are going to see this, and I'm going to embarrass myself. Back, dude, they don't even have video of Wilts Chamber ones 100-point fucking game.

Like, you didn't have to worry about another up. That's what I'm saying. But you, you, you don't, you didn't have to worry about constant surveillance back then. So I'm sure there was part of him that was just like, I'm going to have one of them days. Or it's like, I'm going to go to the work where they drink at work and smoke on the sideline.

Yeah. And like, our star players railing a whore in the locker room. Yeah. I guess in some ways, what's the worst that could happen? And the best thing happened. But then there's also just, and this might be a personality thing, and this is what you were alluding to to some extent. I mean, what's going to happen to us if we go to a set on acid and it doesn't go that well?

Mostly nothing, especially like if we're at a club where they already like us and know that. Point being, there's also just like social anxiety. Oh, yeah, yeah. Like I just don't want to go be around people. That's like the biggest part. I feel like comedians. mean, right? Because, yeah, that's different.

I mean, I feel like the only person I can think of that, it wasn't acid, but I feel like among the worst case scenarios is the Nick Swardson situation, which was very public. So I don't feel like I'm telling tales of. It's like Xanax or something and he was just out of his mind. Well, he said that I think he had taken a, you know, he was in Colorado and he was like, I wasn't used to altitude. And I think he had taken a gum and, of course, was drinking and shit, which I mean, you know, would I've been there. He wanted to do something. But like, but like,

you all remember that right? He had to like, yeah, yeah, like went viral because he had to call his show off and like drag and pull him off the stage basically because he couldn't even like talk. He was so fucked up. And that's,

you know, that don't hit. Like that no has a quick, that you don't want to deal with that. It's like, I remember when I was dealing with all that anxiety shit for the first time in panic attacks and when I was going to like therapy for it and telling him. And one of the techniques they tried to use to be like,

right, And that never, that was not effective for me at all because I would always be like, I mean, I feel like it's pretty bad, man. I was like, because he, okay, I have a full-blown panic attack, collapsed, nervous breakdown on stage in front of all my fans at this, at a comedy club or whatever. I was like, then if like if there's footage of it, people share it. I see my. Oh, your fans would give you a standing ovation. Yeah, but like, we just tell everybody that you had like a heart problem or something. Yeah, that'd be fine.

And the thing, but, you know, and the guy, and the therapist would always be like, right. And then, but you know, in his whole thing, you know, but like, but you go on living, right? You know what I mean? Like that type of thing. I don't want to. There would be repercussions. I was like, it was just like, you have to at least answer an email. It's wild that your therapist thought that was like a reward for you.

Yeah, right. Well, there's also that. But I do know that that also, I think, happened to. Because I remember here. You know, you're right. I do have to go on living. it wasn't the worst thing that happened. Don't hit. I didn't die.

Fuck. But I think that that exact thing also happened, like, on a much less scrutinized thing. But again, I know he's talked about it in public. When this is all going on with me, somebody mentioned this to me. They happened to Janus Pappas at a comedy club, I think. And he got, like, put in an ambulance and, like, taken away. Oh, you'd have to put me in an ambulance.

And he's like, you know, I mean, he is fine, obviously. And he's been fine for a long. That was years ago. So it's like really funny to think about his family. And he jokes about it. So his fandom is real big on not being a pussy. Yeah. And I'm not.

I think this might have happened so long ago to him that, you know what I mean? I don't even know. I think they had that podcast already though. But it was definitely like years ago. But I'm saying he lived. D.L. hugely collapsed on stage, but that wasn't an anxiety thing. That was COVID wasn't it?

Right. Yeah. Drew, didn't you take mushrooms and blame a cop for 9-11 in Kentucky one time? Was that how it was? Yeah. While telling a story about being on mushroom. on a different show. I've done mushrooms

for a show twice on purpose and once kind of on accident. That night was supposed to be a low dose and after I ate it, Brian, who brought him was like, yeah,

those are penis envy. And I was like, oh, you mean the ones that are four times as strong? He's like, yeah. I was like,

hard. Well, we have two shows. I'll be fine for the first one. We can talk about that. I did want to say I can remember twice pushing through

fighting a panic attack. And I was doing some of the techniques of like spotting just like it was very surreal and I did not have a good set but doing the thing of like okay I'm just going to recite my joke but my brain is completely dissociated

and I'm just kind of going that lady has in my head not out loud that lady has a red shirt you know that dude is laughing that dude is not and it's supposed to just kind of distract you and it would work for a few minutes

and it would creep back in because as Trey can tell you it's a very physical thing on top of the mental aspect. The mental aspect of it is hell, but there is a physical feeling of anxiety. Yeah, it hurts, man. That's sort of like alien,

and I remember my hands being kind of numb. And then, apart from Well Red, shows where I wasn't, like, on tour with two people and getting paid very well and all that stuff, I bet I've canceled seven to ten spots in my life so that I wouldn't be the guy being carried out of that. I stay doing that. I did one.

I had one show in L.A. And it like probably could I think have been a good one. And I had to just bite the bullet. This is when I was in like the, you know, the like throws of all this shit. And I had to just, I had to just call it.

But only, you know, only that one. But yeah, but I've had like, I've had what I know now were panic attacks while on stage and just kept going. Like you're like,

no, I didn't not know. I knew. I'm saying I didn't know that in my head I was like, I'm not all the way there yet. If I get all the way there, I will fall on this stage and they'll have to call an ambulance or whatever. And that's all the way. And I'm saying what I know now is that like what was happening to me was the panic attack. Like I thought it could get even worse at the time.

Right. But it, you know, and I mean, it always can, I guess. But the sort of tunnel vision fall down thing. Like, like you can't. than you really can't get out of the floor. It's only ever happened to me once. And unfortunately, it was on a New York subway car. Oh, God.

At about 12.30, one in the morning. And what happened was... I might try to get your butt. Well, no, I was in that state generally. Like, I was having, like, a rough couple weeks, whatever, you know. And then I just, like, dumbly smoked weed with this child, to me, this 24-year-old who wanted to, like, go for a walk after work and ask me legal questions. and I just was like listening to him

and on the way home I got full on tunnel and I remember like I remember the part where I before I went down I remember thinking these fucking youths are going to rob me look at how they're staring at me because there was like these 20 year olds on the train and I was like

I'm not imagining that I'm not just high these dudes are staring at me and now like things were getting wishy-wash and then there was like tunnel and then I heard one of them say sir are you okay right? They were talking to me, and I'm in the floor.

I'm on the floor of the subway car, and I fell over, and then they were like over me, and they were like, are you all right? And I was like, I got to get off, dude. I've only had it happen a handful of time on stage, but I'm certainly going to happen again. There's like three times that I can think of right now, and I got so lucky on each three, which was that like either we'd been on the road for a long time and I'd been doing the same set and I really had it dialed in, you know what I mean, to where my brain truly could go.

I don't know, but I'll say this, if you ever see my show and I don't move from in front of the microphone, just know that I'm having a panic attack because that's my, I can't do anything. And my arm will be like this. Like it just won't leave. And I'll just, yeah, and it's not a good feeling. But again, like, I had my,

I was only doing 30. I had it locked in. I was like, you can, I mean, this sucks for them, but you can, you can do it. Well, getting away. if we can then from New York Pussies smoking weed, me, and getting back to New York

Killers smoking weed, the six judge, or whoever you're talking about being high. Oh, yeah, Bellinger, yeah. Bellinger, my bad. Shout out to three of my friends, but also our boy, Reg.

Reg. Reg is in the final four of Kevin Hart's Funny AF. If you guys haven't tuned into that, you should. And if you have, like, watch tonight's the final. I don't know how you guys feel. There's no perfect stand-up competition. They're never going to be great completely for the industry. But this show is so good for the industry, in my opinion,

compared to what else has been going on trend-wise. And Osama Sadiq and Kaelin Palufo are friends of mine. Yeah, good. I love it. Winston Hodges is a friend of mine, so we can shout out all four of them. Yeah. Caitlin made it to the four or two? Winston Hodges, the White dish.

Well, Winston got eliminated last night, but Winston is. Awesome. I thought I googled the Final Fort to see if he'd made it. And the fucking Google AI says that list him as being in the final floor. I could be wrong, but I think him and Olivia Carter were eliminated last night. Olivia is the only one I have no connection to, but she is very funny. Ron, I don't know very well. But when I had that court style show at the store, I can't think of anyone who killed harder.

I can think of a few people who killed as hard as him. but I can't think of anyone who killed harder than Ron killed in a court case titled Black Men versus White Women. And buddy, the white women lost that night. Yep. Could have seen that coming. Right, right. Well, yeah, you correct. Winston just, yeah, was one of the last two eliminated before the final four.

I saw I'm talking about it. Not after that, Trey Crowder endorsement. Well, no, before my endorsement. I know. I'm just a motherfucker. Anyway. Yeah. Google that also sucks for Ron because Google doesn't list him. Yeah, that does suck.

My first introduction to Winston was that he like went viral doing a bit. It was something we had like talked about. We had talked about a different version of it. It was just so it was like, oh right, that's a perfect bit. It was so funny. And it was basically like, he's like, not me, not me. A gay man should just call him the F slur on that. national television.

Don't you think that end all this? Don't if you just think if somebody got on TV and he was like, look at this. It would work. It would work.

I'll do it on CNN if they'll have me back. They won't. They won't. I got to come out as gay first. Not yet. What's up? Shout all that out, though. Those are my,

those are our friends. And I think what Kevin Hart's good for comedy. And it's, it's awesome. And they're like really good, hard work and been in the game comedians. What are they,

what's the, like, eyes. A Netflix special. Pretty sweet. It is pretty sweet. One thing I wondered, and I haven't seen every rung of the show, I've mostly done clips until last night.

They're going to have any material? I don't know how exactly the structure goes. It's like, hey man, great job over the last two months. Now give us a new hour. I've been thinking, I remember I always think about that with Last Comic Standing, because I used to watch Last Comic Standing all the time. And there would be people on there who, that went far and you could like tell that they were out.

And like the judges would, you know, would say like, hey, we love you. You're hilarious. But clearly you have reached the end of, you know, the material. Because they make them do, you know, you can't repeat nothing. Well, you may or may not know this, but for people who haven't seen it, they do different things, different rounds. They did a roast. They did a crowd work round. And so, you know, some comics would be like, hey, what a nightmare.

Or be, I don't fucking do crowdwork or roast. And I get that. But it does help with that. Like, to me, if I was in it, I'd be like. okay, it's frustrating that I have to do something I haven't worked on maybe, but at the same time, if I come out of this, I haven't burned as much material. Also, it's Netflix being like, hey, if you win this,

we've got our eyes on you, this is shit we're going to want you to do. Yeah, we're expecting you to be a star, not just like, it's a Mitch Hedberg thing. Right. Do they ask chefs if they know how to farm? They fucking do now. It's like he predicted that. Chefs now are like, and me and my wife grow this at our house,

so it's the fresh ingredients. Like I don't like any, I don't like either of those things either, but I'd just fail on the show. I'd still try it. I guess, you know, if I was there. I just don't hit at it. Fucking hey.

Well, hey, you know what? I also don't hit at, but that doesn't mean that I can't do. Making a website. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. SquareSpace is the all-in-one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online, whether you're just starting out

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Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. try for $0 at rocketmoney.com slash well-read. That's rocketmoney.com slash well-read. Rocketmoney.com slash well-read. So I'm only going to do this because, again, I said way earlier, remind me to circle back to that, and I feel like it's one of those things that if I was listening and I just never circled back to it, I would be annoyed.

We do that to people a lot. I know, and I tried to remember and not do that. There's some ADHD people right now going, Drew and Corey, stop interrupting him. I swear to God. if you don't let him fucking get this out. Yeah, let's just digress. So we go to somewhere else.

So what do you guys think? No, I'm sorry. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. So I, you know, the whole like, um, it's, I was thinking it's called eponym,

but that's not, that's not the word. We talked about this before, but it's when like, like, like everybody calls adhesive bandages, bandages, band-aids, right? Right.

Band-A is a company. Dump, dumpster is a company. That's not the name of the thing itself. Like, whatever that fucking thing is. So earlier I was talking about the Yankees. Genericide or generosity. What?

Not generous side. That's how Chinese is pill a bunch of people. Generide. Is that what are you? What? That's how. Bruce Jenner side. Angus Bond did a bunch of genericides.

That sounds more redneck to Chinese to me. They're doing a generous side. I don't know. I don't let them do generous sides now. Oh, hell no. I'm just telling you what the internet said. And I scroll past the AI to make sure, shout out, again our boy Ron T

anyway yeah yeah yeah so it is anyway when I was telling the thing to worry about the Yankees earlier I said they up on the jumbo tron

right oh that's the company too right but what's fun about that one guy's like funish depending on who you are is that like they ain't even like Band-Aid is still a thing and they're the ones that hit it making Band-Aids and so it's dumpster too. Jumbotron ain't been a thing for like 25 years,

but everybody still- crazy. Everybody still calls them that. And the whole reason I know this is because y'all know producer Matt, right? He's from a, like small city, big-ish town. You know, it's South Dakota. So how big can it be? But it's called Brookings, South Dakota.

Right, no way. But he was saying their local, like rich guy, like the super rich guy in his town is a guy that. Donnie Jumbotron? David Jumbo. It's the opposite. It's actually, it's the guy that founded the company that, like, beat out Jumbotron and still survives. And Matt was telling me, like, it really don't hit for that guy that everyone calls them Jumbotrons. Yeah.

When that, you know, he, like, won that war or whatever. What's his company called? So, yeah, and I think this has something to do with it. The company is called Dactronics. That's what it's called. It's, again, it's South Dakota. So it's Dakota Electronics. DACtronics, but no, it

don't. No one's going to be like, look, the Dachronic. Jumbotron is like walking talking. It's nice for that. I know. Let me ask you this. Let me run this Trace of Business Major and Corey, you've got like the marketing background with your family. How come somebody don't

buy the rights to that and then skate on the fact that people think they're number one? Yeah, bring it back. I can't imagine that there's not like a Let me think. Baylor's too big.

Like a school that just now is going to enter in the Jumbotron game. You know what I mean? Is it High Point that did so well in the NCAA tournament and it found out it was made completely with venture capital money? Pretty sure it is. High Point, Wisconsin is a basketball school that's just an NIL factory. That's literally all it is, apparently. I can totally imagine a place like that.

It's like, we're going to buy one of these things. How much is a Jumbotron? Right. but well so I said like that guy won that war or whatever it so jumbo tron was invented whatever it was that was owned and made by Sony who's obviously still a titan they just stopped making jumbo trons so they don't want to give it to nobody probably not I would imagine yeah right yeah probably that makes sense I knew you'd have a business answer but it also validates me because I am right if all things were equal somebody would just do that right

Because that happens, like a defunct brand, but with like a lot of name recognition. Somebody just buys the rights and does it. Yeah, sure. Yeah, I mean, yes, I'm trying to think of an example. I'm certain that has happened before. But I think shoes, what was it? Just shoes, all shoes. Maybe pony.

So you're talking about buying like a defunct thing that used to hit and then making a new thing and calling it that. Like, you know, like it's a comeback for that thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And nobody can tell you it's not a. come back because you bought the rights to name your company and you did have to restart. Right.

I mean, somebody can say, now, you know, the secret, really, blah, blah, blah. It's not like against the law to say that, but it's not against the law for you to be like, we made a comeback. This is not the same, but it's kind of, and it's hilarious. Did y'all see, it was a couple months ago, there was this Burger King and I want to say Chicago is somewhere, well, not Chicago, but the Illinois area and the suburbs or whatever. And this Burger King got reported to corporate, this particular franchisee,

because they go in and I guess they had run out of like their official stuff you buy from, you know, if they've got their deal with Cisco or whatever to where every single, you know, every Whopper is the same no matter what store you go to. They just didn't want to do that. And they were just making their own burgers and selling them in tinfoil and putting them in regular sacks but just still calling it Burger King. Like on the outside it was just Burger King and shit. And they didn't get away with it, but that would have really hit for me.

If you just accidentally went there thinking it's a Burger King and then that, I mean, that would be a real pleasant surprise. Yeah. It would be awesome. You would not be pumped about actual Burger King. You'd like, I guess I'll eat this Burger King. I like Burger King compared to, are you saying you wouldn't be pumped to about it compared to a good burger or compared to McDonald's?

Compared to McDonald's. I meant the former. personally. I don't, those two to me, even though they're very, very different, I'm equally meh on those of those. It goes hardies. Big drop. We're talking fast food burgers. You're talking low-level fast food burgers specifically, right? You're not including five guys, come on. Five guys shake, shack, in and out, those are different. Steak and shake, dog. In-N-N-N-N-N-Out, it's questionable. If In-N-Out was national, I can't let a regional be in this comment. They got them in Tennessee now. Do you know that?

So in and out might have to be on the list. It still is Hardee's for me. That's just a good fucking burger. Hardie sucks. And then it drops. And then I think it's Burger King. Like I like McDonald's better overall. You know, I love filet of fish, by the way.

By the way, I saw a kid, here's another one. Something I've been saying for years and I see someone do it as a bit. I'm like, Jesus Christ, he's like talking about how he had to order flay fish in front of his boys because they was in the car together recently. He's like, would or rather came out as gay. The response would have been so much more supportive. And I was singing about the first time we were on tour and I got a flay fish and y'all acted like.

Because you got a catchup. You also do shit and ketchup. I like the filet of fish. Right. Fair. And for the record, now that I think about it, I mean,

like, dude, if I was eating fish and chips, I wouldn't think twice about dipping it in some ketchup and that would hit for me, which is essentially what you've done there. But for some reason,

it don't look like. Well, anyway, I was just saying, I do prefer McDonald's to Burger King in general, but burger to burger, the whopper is better than a McDonald's burger. Yeah, I think so too.

Okay. I just, yeah, I think so too. Usually when I go to McDonald's, it's specifically, I'm not going like, I want a really good burger. I'm going to McDonald's. Something in my DNA, it's all the microplastics, goes, you want that, you want that fake shit. Like, I want that fake taste.

You know what I mean? I'm not, not even craving real fruit. Yeah, I'm not, and I get a McFlurr. You know, I'm not even. And fuck a king. I like their nuggets. Yes. Which one?

McDonald's, right? McDonald's. You don't like Burger King? They didn't even have them. Don't they have chicken fries? Yeah. They do. I know for a while

they had chicken nuggets that were in the shape of little crowns. I don't think they put those for years, but those definitely didn't hit. I'm not defending fucking Burger King. I've never, again, I don't particularly care for either of those, I'm being honest. Stake and shakes, my current, my current fave.

I mean, they're... I feel like that's a different genre, but I can't justify that. It, yeah. Stake and shake feels to me more. like whatever, and even this ain't the same because it's not like they're limited to shopping malls but that feels like almost like a Johnny Rockets

type place. It's not regional but there's still not a lot of them everywhere. And it's also like but you often people walk in. I don't even, do Shake and Steak even have like a drive-through? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean the one we have does, I can walk to it from my house. I think I like Steak and Shake. I think I've only ever went into one. Bro. Same. That's a good delineation

that I say it right? Uh-huh. I mean, he's, you know, said they have one, but any place that doesn't have one is not in the conversation.

And before we get comments, I'm aware that steak and shake is like a full bore, like MAGA and shit. Uh-huh, that's right, yeah. Yeah.

That one's tough, though, because it's like, I mean, Dave tallow and fat, like that's hard. Yeah, right.

Yeah. They just saw, they just saw an opening is all. Like, you know what I mean? I'm not letting them take that. Just like I wouldn't let take the white supremacists to have my Hawaiian shirt

when I'm on vacation. prefer that they just did it without tweeting and sucking off RFK Jr. Of course I would. But at the end of the day, they're, dude, like used to, I've always, I like shoe string fries anyways, but I'd always get it with the cup of nacho cheese because they hit harder than that. They don't, but they don't even, like, it's almost a disservice to these goddamn fries if you dip them in something. They're that good. It's fine that they don't need it. I still do. I still do. And they cook their chicken fingers and beef tallow too. So I get buying like extra ones of them so that I can, you know, cop a couple pieces or whatever, and them fucking, them, uh, the butter burger. Oh my, oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah.

This is not sponsored, but if they want to throw me something, they can. I think there's, it's not Burger King. I don't think. I think it's McDonald's because I think, because they're maga. That's true. Maybe. You can buy the tower. One of those franchises, Corey, there's one location somewhere in the Midwest, Illinois or Ohio or something that was already called that when the franchise first started. They tried to force them out. They went to court over it, and the little guy won. And so there's like, it's either Burger King or McDonald's, I think.

There's one left that's still called Burger King, but it ain't got nothing to do with the corporation. It has to be Burger King because McDonald's lawyer's got to be better than that. You know what I mean? And their PR people will be like, give them whatever they want. Right. Yeah. It has to be Burger.

I mean, I don't know that. I'm just saying like they're the Coca-Cola of fast food and Coca-Cola. is the Disney of drinks. It is Burger King and it's in Matoon, Illinois.

Well, founded by the Hoots family. The Hoot's. Like Hootie Hoots? H-O-O-T-S. Are they black? No, it's Iowa,

never mind. Yeah, it's, uh, they claim it's the original Burger King and predates the fast food chain. The Hoots, man.

I bet they, I bet they got a dinner show. Burger that's pretty good. It would, it would have to, wouldn't it for their, or else they would be able to do that. Yeah.

Yeah. but a 1968 court case between the two ruled in their favor, and they are Burger King to this day, and they're the only Burger King in this country that's not what you talking about. There's two. One broke the rules in Chicago. Right. That's true.

Also, Illinois, Mavericks, when it comes to burgers there in Illinois, I guess. Yep. So it says that the hoots, the way the restaurant started, they bought an already successful ice cream shop called Frid Queen in 1952. So I doubt, like, that had no misogynistic implications. Surely not. Tim Stadam.

The Frosty Bitch Man. Yeah, it's funny now. Why, why Queen, like, is it a coincidence that there's a dairy queen too? Or was there like a string of things associated in ice? Oh my God, is it the milk? King Queen. I don't know. That's a good question.

Ice cream shops are. female because of titty milk. I don't know. It's just generally seems more, you know, feminine ice cream than carbs. And milk in general, dairy and mineral. Yeah. So they bought Frid Queen and, you know, added a grill and hot food, Frigid Queen to Burger King. You get it.

Yeah, I get it. Yeah, that was in 1959. They had hot treats and hot eats and cool treats. I always, yeah, Dairy Queen, I used to always say, because, you know, as we're well aware, rest in peace to the salina dairy queen, but we had one there when I was growing up. Everybody knows and loves the cool treats, but I always thought the hot eats were a little underwere.

The hot eats are great. The gravy that you did get into the basket with gravy and the toast. Get out of town. Get out of town. I didn't like your gravy. They had, I did like their fries. They had a flame thrower burger with like pepper jack cheese and it's like spicy sauce on it.

It's pretty good. A couple years ago, they were fiddling around with jalapeno poppers and they weren't bad, for fast food jalapeno paupers. Now granted, I mean, look, every head must bow, every tongue must profess that motherfucking blizzard. I understand why they're the king of the show. Yeah, I mean, they're unbelievable.

What's your favorite? What are they doing, Corey? It's just soft serve right mixed with those mix ins. And maybe they keep it one to two degrees colder, so it's thicker. I don't know. Wouldn't that eventually get icy and freezer burnt? What are they doing? They make a big deal about turning it.

it over and it's like or other restaurants sitting there going like we could fucking turn ours over too but we don't make a whole probably I think they should

I think they could yeah yeah that the McClury ain't going nowhere I've had them going nowhere I think I figured out

the frosty secret I think they have fake marshmallow flavoring in it okay I can see there's a hint of mallow in there yeah

and that would make it the consistency that they need I'm kind of feeling that would buy That would bind with it. And that would make sense how sometimes you take a bite and you're like, that wasn't as cold. That part wasn't as cold.

You know what I mean? And it's also, you do the vanilla one or whatever. And you're like, something normal about this. I'm for it, whatever they're doing, because I love a frosty. Right. Yeah, it says that one of y'all said maybe they keep it a little cold or whatever. Apparently part of the whole thing was soft serve that makes it soft serve is a, they put air in it.

I thought there was an air thing. I said there's like a creamy air thing. It says it's made by incorporating air and keeping it at roughly 25 degrees Fahrenheit, which is significantly warmer than traditional hard ice cream. And they keep it moving too, right? Like a soft serve machine, it's like constantly moving. Well, they have to do that to keep the air in it. Yeah, right.

No crystallization. It typically contains less milk fat. So I was about to bring that up. It's almost like a gelato situation too. Well, see, gelato is often put in that category, but I believe the actual only difference between gelato and milk fat is, between gelato and ice cream is that ice cream has a certain level of milk fat that it has to hit to be ice cream, whereas gelato doesn't.

So sometimes you might get a gelato with less, but sometimes you could get a gelato with more because it's not regulated and can still be dilato. I have no reason to have. I just didn't know that. You've blown my mind. I thought for years that I knew the difference and that was it. And then I also do think it has to do with the air. It could be the complete opposite.

Joe, what's a sorbet? Sorbet is one that has no dairy. It is fruit-based. I assume that 50% of the thing has to have the sugar of the fruit. I don't know. Let me shout out Tony down in the old city of Knoxville and his new gelato shop. I was there recently. It was delicious.

It was a bustling evening. Lots of kids coming in and out. And I asked him, I said, hey, I've lived here in a while. How long you've been here? And he said, you know, two or three years, whatever. And we talked about rent going up and all that. And then I was like, so he goes, I'm from here, but I left and came back. I go, hey, me too.

Where'd you go? And he said, Italy to learn how to make gelato. And that impressed the shit out of me. Sorbet has to be made with real fruit, whereas Sherbert doesn't, correct? We're going to see. I believe you. That makes sense. Come on, dude.

Yeah. Did he did that? I'm going to go against you here. He studied the art. He studied the way of the fucking... He studied the spoon instead of the leg. Yeah, under Giuseppe, something another. Yeah, spaghetti tutelage, dude.

Yep. Some dude who's like, his family had been making that particular type of fresh and treat for fucking 150 years or whatever. It's funny to think about like a farm or whatever or a factory of them training different tight and there's like the spaghetti area and the smoked meats and the cheese. and then it's like, and I guess if you won't be a queer, go there and learn how to make ice cream, too. Yeah, I've seen videos about the, you know, the cheeses, like the Parmigiano Reggiano and all that. They're fucking, they take it all real seriously.

I tell you what. I could start a new life, living on one of them farms, doing all that stuff. They have a thing called, as far as I know, it's a word, you can translate it. You're going to hear it and be like, I know what it means, but like it's an Italian origin. and agritreismo, which is just like tourism based around people hanging out on their farms. Oh, yeah. I guess that's what wine country is, right?

You go up there because I've been out there and it's like, that's what that is. You know, they normally they don't just have wine. They do olives and shit too. And so they got, you know, it's all very Mediterranean.

But, shout, I know what you, sometimes I, that's like my new day. It's funny. I used to like daydream about being like a comedian or whatever. Now that I've been a comedian when I daydream about stuff,

It's like making cheese in the fucking Mediterranean countryside or something. Being left alone, having an apron on, just perfecting my cheese art. They don't have to be cheese. The cured meats would hit for me too. Perhaps more. That'd be sick. Fear war, cheese, fish. Only type of mongers you can be.

Why? Okay. Fear war. Okay. What about Mungo Jerry? What does that mean? You don't know Mungo Jerry? You don't know Mungo Jerry.

I don't know Munger Jerry. What? Mungo Jerry. Mungo Jerry, bro. Is it called summertime or in the summer? In the summer. In the summertime. And I don't know if Mungo is a slur from once upon a time,

but when you see his face, you're going to know why I thought maybe somebody looked at this dude. He's in a yellow suit, any, when he sings it, is he in a yellow suit? Also, I got to say, where's DJ at on Mungo, Jerry? because I feel like a bit of Mungerre's aesthetic Myr-inspired our boy, you see them chops and everything. He's got some chops, dude.

Show me. I'm pulling him up. Here. Chow. Just put that up on the screen there. Oh, yeah. Like, don't you feel like it's possible that Mungo is a forgotten slur?

Yes. We are not be saying it. Yeah. It definitely sounds like it, but I don't know. And also look at him, sorry, but it just looks like something of Papua will be like, look this fucking Mungo singing. Mongo, yeah. What is he?

Battalion. Okay. See, this is what I used to have a bit when I was, you think I'd have been cavalier about it. How about this? That's actually the name of the band. That's not the dude. It's the band, which is like, I just found out that Jamiroquai is like that.

Right. And they're both British. I always thought Jemiriqui was just a dude with the hat. That's, no. That's the name of the band. Apparently Mungo Jerry is also the name of the band, and the dude is Ray Dorset from Middlesex. Yeah, I had this bid I wanted to try one time when I was in New York,

and I could never get it, but the premise essentially was like, I saw somebody on the subway that was so ugly that I couldn't tell what nationality they were. Like, I couldn't. Like, their face transcended race, ethnicity, anything. Like, there's certain people that are so ugly that, like, you can't just look at them and be like,

Armenian. You know what I mean? Because all the traits are fucked up. They're like a Picasso. He's one of them. I thought maybe somebody threw mongo at him being kind of rude. And by the way, I thought he was Italian just because I would not have been throwing that around that loosely. If I thought that I was talking about something other than.

Hold on, no. Here's how we got on to mongo, Jerry. Oh, yeah. What did you say? Fish, war, war, fear, and cheese. What about whore? Hoar. Hor mongering.

I think. you can monger. I get what you mean. I don't know why people don't call a monger because it's like I oftentimes I know this isn't like but people know what you mean like somebody that I'm trying to think of an example. Ryan Murphy

who's made some stuff that hits for me might call him like a trash monger. He's a trash monger yeah right. You know like scandal monger is apparently a word. I saw it. Speaking of Ryan Murphy somebody I think it might have been the onion the other day shared like Netflix

not sure how long they're going to let Ryan Murphy keep getting away with it, which I thought is pretty funny. Peace monger. Yeah. These are big four, though. The big four are fear, war, fish, and cheese. You're definitely right about that. Hate monger, that's a big one.

Hate monger is definitely. So this is from some dude. This is from some dude's blog. This is from some dude's blog. This is from some dude's blog. That's true. This is from some dude's blog. All right.

It says monger as a suffix is way more common than most people might expect. Below is a list of monger words that you're free to use in everyday speech and writing if you ever have the opportunity. So he's got law monger, Drew, I don't know about that. Is that, you know, doom monger, a prophesire of doom, panic monger, love monger. Again, you could just put any word in front of monger. Yeah. But it's not. I know what Richel is coming from.

So hate monger, for sure, people definitely say that. The rest of these, I'm kind of calling bullshit on most of these that this dude's saying. I'm okay with calling bullshit on most of them, but I think the list was a little longer than we first, you know what I mean? Yeah. To throw out there. I definitely named the big four. That's all I need to know. He's got on here, cockmonger, a procurer of cocks.

I miss her. Yeah. Also, it's not procurer, right? You provide the cock. Yeah. Of cheese monger provides the cheese. I said what I said, Tray. Yeah.

Well, no, I'm saying this dude said, the guy that wrote this said a copmonger is a procurer of cocks and I'm disputing that. It would be more like if you have a stable of jigilos, you'd be a cockmonger, right? Right. I think so. Like a jigolo pimp is a cockmonger. Well, yeah, you got a trade in and I guess you got to procure it to do it. It also is a broker or dealer. Yeah.

You're not wrong, but neither is the idea that you have to procure them before you sell them. That's true. Yeah. Power monger. I've heard that. I've heard of, I've heard power monger used before. In what,

in what context? Like, who would be a power monger? I guess like, Steven Miller. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, no, no, Steve Bannon for sure. Steve Bannon for sure. Steve Bannan. Yeah, right.

Yeah. Let's say here. You said fish. Wine, wine monger. How do you feel about that? I mean, if you're going to go with fish and cheese, sure, why not wine?

Right. Again, this dude, somebody sat down and was like, a word monger. A word monger. About how there's a lot of words that ended monger. And again, it seems to me what he's done is he's just thought of words and put monger at the end of them. Yeah, and that ain't it. He might have got him on like Merriam-Webster, whatever dictionary, doc, you know what I mean?

Like, oh, this is technically a word with a definition. I've never heard anyone use the full Christian name for the dictionary. I like that. Most people just say Webster's. You said Merriam-Webster's. Not letting that hyphen it get out of here. I like that. Because it's two dudes, right?

Yeah, I think so. I thought it was a lady named Miriam Webster. That's true. I've often called myself, but again, I know people don't say this, but I, you know, say that I'm not but a lowly gigglemonger. Like I say, I call myself a gigglemonger all the time. It's funny. You said, I know people don't say this, but I call myself,

could have went so many places. Right. Yeah. But it's funny because it's not real. Yeah. Oh, I was thinking more voice of a generation. I wasn't going to be mean. I was going to be like, no, literally no way.

Yeah, me at 40 versus me at 30. Yeah, he had to give up that one, that monitor is played out. Yeah, well, no offense, you're better than us, but, you know, grand scheme of things. you don't hit. Right. No. Well, I'm just saying.

Not at all. It's harder than me, but that's not saying anything. I mung nothing. I've never monged. I've never monged. I've never monged, Jerry. That did seem like it would be an episode of Sinefeld.

That dude looks like every male member of Simefeld mixed into one dude. Mixed together. He does. At least Kramer and George. Yeah, for sure. And Larry. I mean, I know Larry wasn't a cast member, but he's got the Larry David Hauer.

In a few episodes. Yeah, that's true. Wait, he was he? Yeah, he wore cape. He also did the voice of Steinbrenner. That was funny. Oh, yeah, he was the voice of Steinbrenner. That's right.

Yeah. All right. Fuck it, right. Yep. That's what I say. All right. Y'all come, come see me on the road. I thought it was a good episode, man.

Yeah, no, I agree with Tray. I'm sorry you're not the Bob Dylan of Southern Comedy. I don't say you. It just feels like, you know, we've been running out of steam, just saying words with Monger at the end of it for the past, you know, seven minutes and end with Ardemeus life. Piling on how much I don't hit, which is fine. I started it.

I, you know, unlike the Yankees, I'll leave into it. We always do it to me at the beginning of the episode, just in case it goes for an hour. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Got to leave enough time. Okay. Uh, West Coast stuff coming up, San Francisco, Portland, and Seattle this month.

Drew will be with me in Portland. so that's fun and then uh Florida not long after that Spartanburg Wilmington bunch of bunch of places all at Trey Crowder.com today Hey I'm going to be in Portland with Trey I'm going to be kicking off Athfest in Athens

Georgia their music festival I'm the kickoff party as comedy uh that's all I can remember right now I do think oh New Orleans August 8th I need to announce that I guess I am New Orleans August 8th Corey writes for you.com That's my substack.

Subscribe, please. I write stuff and it's funny. Thank you all for listening to The Well Red Show. We love to stick around longer, but we got to go. Tune in next week if you got nothing to do. Thank you, God. Bless you, good night, and skew. Fart.

Fart. We're going to get drunk and we're going to talk a lot. What other rednecks to talk about foreign affairs? Laughing so hard that we end up falling out of our chairs. What a pair? High class topics with a redneck flare. Oh, you get drunk and we're going to talk a lot. Dress real fancy sitting on chairs.

We're going to get drunk and we're going to talk a lot. Gathering on you from the attic and basement. So even though Corey is drama, don't disqual. We're going to get drunk and we're going to talk a lot.