wellRED podcast - Through The Screen Door w/Corey Ryan Forrester #2!!

Episode Date: July 28, 2020

This episode features another edition of This Week In Southern History titled "Bigger Than Jesus" about Alabama DJ's encouraging listeners to burn Beatles records there is ALSO:- New Monologue - New Buttercream Dream Segment- A scathing review of The Fantastic 4- Rednecks Reading Movie Monologues: Footloose Editionand much more!You can get this in its own feed by searching out Through The Screen Door on your favorite podcast app or going to screendoorpod.comI've been told it isn't showing up on stitcher so im dropping it on the wellred feed to rectify that for the time being for everyone wanting to listen! Thank you so much and remember to leave a 5 star review if you think we deserved it!

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion. Because used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie. I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now. Skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people. People across the ske universe, I should say. Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year?

Do you even know? Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery? Getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low main? Because that's a thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better. And it's called Rocket.

money. Rocket money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket money shows all your expenses in one place, including subscriptions you already forgot about. If you see a subscription, you don't want any more, Rocket Money will help you cancel it. Their dashboard lays out your whole financial picture, including the due dates for all your bills and the pay days. In a way that's easier for you to digest, you can even automatically create custom budgets based on past spending. Rocket money's 5 million members have saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions with members saving up to $740 a year when they use all of the apps. Premium features.

I used Rocket Money and realized that I had apparently been paying for two different language learning services that I just wasn't using. So I was probably like, I should, I should know Spanish. I'll learn Spanish. And I've just been paying to learn Spanish without practicing. any Spanish for, you know, pertinent two years now or something like that. Also, a fun one I'd said it before, but I had a, I got an app, lovely little app where you could, you know, put your friends' faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got, I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies, you know, those weren't a little like

the cue ball looking twin fellas. Yeah. So that was that response to? What was that a reply gift for just when I did something stupid? Something fat and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first, but then I quit using it and was still paying for it and forgotten. If it wasn't for Rocket Money, I never would have even figured it out.

So shout out to them. They help. If you're money dumb like me, Rocket Money can help. So cancel your unwanted subscriptions or reach your financial goals faster with RocketMoney. Go to RocketMoney.com slash well-read today. That's rocketmoney.com slash well, RED. Rocketmoney.com slash well read. And we thank them for sponsoring this episode of the podcast.

They're the... The Popeye's family feast. Why has everybody suddenly family with Popeyes hits the table? Feed all those cousins with six pieces of our boldly seasoned signature chicken. Two famous chicken sandwiches, two large mouth watering sides, and four flaky biscuits. That's enough for cousin coworker, cousin roommate, cousin neighbor, and all his Billion Cousin kids. You've got all the cousins coming. Even the ones who aren't really your cousins, all for $29.99. Love that chicken from Popeye. Limited time to participate in U.S. restaurants prices may very additional terms apply.

If you could please hold all your questions to the end, that would be great. All you here know, my name is Corey Ryan Forster. I am a comedian, actor, writer, producer, director, critically acclaimed author, podcast host, podcast co-host, podcast editor, podcast producer. And on the rare occasion that I do have spare time, I often think about how great it would be. to volunteer with Jimmy Carter and build houses, you know, if there was enough time. Recently, however, there have been some accusations lobbied against me on the Internet, Facebook, Twitter, and a few Cracker Barrel website comment sections. And I'm just here today to say that, unfortunately, they are all true.

For a while now, I have conducted myself in a manner. unbecoming of what many would say is a decent and adjusted person, and I have finally reached the point where I can't hide from my transgressions anymore, and I need to come clean and just own up to it. On the advice of my counsel and my various agents, which are, as you can imagine, too many to name, because, as I said, I have a lot going on in many different genres of media and entertainment. I'm a very in-demand personality right now, but on their advice, I would like to just put it out there first and control the story on my own terms. So, here it goes. It's true.

I, Corey Ryan Forster, who played hippie number four in Zombiland, too. I am a fat and worthless piece of shit. I have been a fat and worthless piece of shit for a while, but I thought that I had it under control. I thought that once I sold this sitcom or once I landed this amazing deal that most people could never even dream about, that I would finally be over it and could close that chapter in my life and move on. But as it turns out, being a fat, worthless piece of shit is a disease, and I'm just now finally ready to get the help that I need. so thank you all for your continued support

and I hope somehow that you will see me as the much respected once in a generation comedic mind that you have for years and not for the blubbery and sweaty piece of shit that stands before you today. Thank you. Through the screen door with Corey Ryan Forrester today on Through the Screen Door

Corey reviews Fantastic Four. We have a redneck monologue. This week in Southern history and much more. Now, without any further ado, straight from this kitchen floor with a bowl of banana pudding in his lap. What's up? Corey! Yeah, baby, you know it.

Only the best pudding for you, boy. This has been a crazy week. Coon, how are you, buddy? I'm tired, but I'm good. I'm on the road on assignment, but I'm feeling good. How are you today, Corey? I'm good, man. It was a crazy week in the news.

I got a couple things to say off top. First off, ladies and gentlemen, Bugs Bunny turned 80 years old this week, surpassing the life expectancy of a rabbit by almost 70 years. At his most recent checkup, Bugs Bunny was quoted as saying, no, seriously, what's up, Doc? Donald Trump played golf with

Brett Farv over the weekend. Brett Farv told Trump that he wasn't going to play. And then he said that he would. And then he was like, no, I'm not going to. And then eventually he was like, okay, fine, I have to do this. It's the thing I love the most. None of you would understand. He's got trouble deciding is what you're saying.

He does. Trouble deciding. He goes back and forth in and out of retirement. A cat became the first animal to test positive for COVID in the UK. The doctors say they are fairly sure they caught it in time and only expect it to lose two to three of its lives. I couldn't even get through that. I couldn't even get through that.

That's so stupid. That was a great joke. But seriously, all jokes aside, like a cat from the UK, can you even, can you think of anything like more pretentious and pompous for a thing to be? Like, I just, I just imagine this cat wearing a little bowler hat, just like, oh, pardon me, sir. Pardon me, will I ignore you and spray my urine on your walls, sir? And now he's laid up in a bed coughing with no sense of taste. Yeah, and he's just going to be fine because he's a goddamn cat.

This week, Los Angeles Clippers' starting guard, Lou Williams is under fire for leaving his team's bubble and breaking quarantine to go to an Atlanta strip club. Lou defended himself saying that he only went to the Magic City strip club because he wanted the hot wings. And I, of course, read this in the Playboy magazine that I only buy for the articles, Matt Cone. That's where I read that way.

You got a lot of those. You have a lot of those. Yeah, and last but not least, Some stores, such as National Retail Chain Target, have announced that due to coronavirus, they will be closed on Thanksgiving to avoid the large crowds. No word yet, however, if the police still plan on shooting the following Friday for being black. All right. Let's get into it. That's the monologue.

That's the monologue, everybody. We did it. Week two monologues. In the books. But week one, in the books last week, we have to thank everybody for listening. I personally was surprised by the amount of listening. are the amount of great feedback we've got. Corey, it's week two, any regrets? Well, picking you as a producer. A terrible choice. Terrible. I'm kidding. And I thank you for being along this, this ride with me. No, man. I mean, you know, as we talked about last week, before we even put it out, this is going to be an ever-evolving situation where,

in my estimation, from all I know in my years in this business, just entertainment business, this show is probably not going to look the same in January as it does now. And if me and you are doing our job correctly, that will be a good thing. But it was a bunch of positive feedback. We got, we're a five-star podcast on the old iTunes. I know that. There was like 60 or something reviews, all five stars, except for one, one-star review, which has to be the, of course, that's the one I noticed the most.

But I know good and well that that that person did not listen to the podcast. There's nothing. And I'm not saying like, if you listen to this podcast, there's no way that you would have rated it at one star. All I know, the type of person who would be like, ooh, I like Corey enough to listen to his podcast. And then just it wasn't for them. Wouldn't go on there and write it one star. That is what we in this business like to call a hater. And you, sir, and I know it was a man, can go fuck yourself. So that's how I feel about week one.

Now that it's in the books, I had a good experience. And I had fun writing week too. And what do you know? we have patrons over at patreon.com. You patrons out there that are getting the daily shows, the bonus show, you got a bonus buttercream dream video last week. Make sure, if you want to be part of it, make sure to hit us up over at patreon.com slash screen door and get all these extras, including daily shows.

We're going to have videos starting in August. Corey is going to come to your house and wash your car. Whatever you want. Whatever you want. But meanwhile, we have our show today. through the screen door. Corey, what do we got coming up today? Well, today, among other things,

backed by popular demand, the redneck movie monologue. This week, everybody's cousin Jimmy delivered the defense of dance speech from the critically acclaimed footloose. This was delivered originally by Kevin Bacon. Cousin Jimmy had some fun with that earlier today,

so we're going to get that. We're also going to hear this week in Southern history. Last week, if you were listening, and we covered the Scopes Monkey Trial, the conclusion of the Scopes Monkey Trial that is. And this week in Southern history, something very interesting. It was the day that the Beatles infamously had a lot of their records burned, especially in Birmingham, Alabama, because two DJs decided,

hey, let's boycott the Beatles because John Lennon said that the Beatles were bigger than Jesus. And I thought that was very interesting. And I uncovered a lot in my research on that. So, yeah, we got that. and also something, God, Jesus Christ. Oh, fantastic, right? Dude, okay. So, you know, I've wanted for a very long time.

And I can't, we'll obviously get into the segment, but we reviewed Fantastic Four, the one from 2015. And, and dude, I'd never, I thought, oh, well, this one will be better? Because the first one was, so, the first iteration was so shitty. They learned lessons. They learned lessons from the previous ones and they have improved. That's what you're thinking. Well, we reviewed the Fantastic 4.

And ladies and gentlemen, it may be the last shit movie review that we do because my fucking Lord, I won't get in that right now, but you'll hear that in the segment. And of course, there will be sponsors along the way. Thank you guys for tuning in. And I love you so very much. Lots of fun bits, lots of fun commercials. But we actually do have a real sponsor here. We'd like to thank them.

And we got a lot of great feedback from the custom Corey Forrester song. So I think we're going to play it again. Corey, how do you feel about your debut, your singing debut? Man, I was blown away, man. You know, I've always known for a while that I wasn't a one-trick pony. I'm as Trey likes to say over on the well-red pasta. Well-red pasta. I just said the well-red pasta.

Listen, I've been trying to go vegan for just, I was just going to do it a week just to cleanse myself. And two days of being vegan, and I'm just saying food names out into the air, the well-red pasta. So, Trey likes to say that I'm a real five tool dumbass. So I like to think that I've got a couple, you know, tricks up my sleeve. And it really, it meant a lot to me to have my debut song out there and well received by the people.

Because like, you know, they always say that rock stars want to be comedians and comedians want to be rock stars. So I kind of got to experience a little bit of both last week. And it really meant the world to me. And I really appreciate it. So that any further ado, let's hear the commercial and the song brought to us by our sponsor. sponsor, Blue Chew. This episode is sponsored by Blue Chew. Let's talk about something we could all use more of right now.

Sex, great sex. Guys, now you can increase your performance and get that extra confidence in bed. Listen up, bluechew.com. That's blue like the color blue. Blue Chew brings you your first chewable with the same FDA-approved active ingredients as Viagra and Sealice. You can take them any time, day or night, even on a full stomach. And since they're chewable, they work up to twice as fast as a pizza. so you can be ready whenever an opportunity arises.

Blu-y-li-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-w-l-wion. Blue Chew is made in the USA, and it's prescribed online by licensed physicians, so you don't have to go to the doctor or wait in line, and it's even cheaper than a pharmacy, and they prepare and ship right to you in a discreet package, so there's no more that awkwardness when you're sitting there waiting in line,

and let's say hypothetically you went to school with the girl who's a pharmacist now, and she knows, and you know that she knows, and everybody's like, oh God, I thought Corey was just a fatballed piece of shit, but turns out his wee-wee has some trouble from time to time. By the way, that's not necessarily the only reasons that you should do it. You don't have to have a problem down there,

but if you could benefit from more confidence where it counts, Blue Chew is the fast and easy way to enhance your performance. And right now, we have a special deal for our listeners. Visit BluChu.com and get your first shipment free. God damn, free? It's free. When you use our special promo code, screen door. All you have to do is pay $5

shipping for a rock hard wiener. Again, that's B-L-U-E-Cue.com. promo code Screen Door to try it for free. Blue Chew is the cheaper, better, and faster choice. And we thank them for sponsoring this podcast. And remember, when you support our sponsors, you help make this podcast possible. So please be sure to use our promo code, Screen Door, at bluechew.com. Any of you guys that listen to my other podcast, the well-read podcast, you've heard me go on and on about Blue Chew.

And if you haven't heard this story, the very first time I used Blotoo, this is a true story. I didn't tell my wife because I was concerned that it would be the stereotypical thing that you see in romantic comedies or, you know, people make jokes about where like, you know, I tell her I took this thing. And then all of a sudden it's, oh, what? I'm not attractive to you anymore. You need something to make it work. And that's not the case. It's just I'm a very stressed out guy, and, you know, sometimes I drink too much. So, like, I just want that extra oomph.

So I got so much of that extra oomph that after we were done, I roll over, and my wife goes, um, okay, what's going on? And I was like, what do you mean what's going on? And she goes, well, that ain't your dick. And she was right. It was not. It was a Blue Chew-Aided dick. So go to Blu-Cube.com and use the promo code Screen Door.

and get you a new dick, try it for free. That ain't his dick, tween my, Lord ain't this a night, it's just like, but you just, that's my mind, that ain't his dick. This week in the news with Corey Ryan Forrester. Corey, are you ready to comment on the happenings, the important stuff going on in the world today? Well, you know, when I was looking through the newspaper earlier today, while writing my monologue, I was like, well, these are the five things that stick out to me that are. funny. So I'm sure you're about to depress the fuck out of me. Because if it doesn't have anything to do with Bugs Bunny turning 80, I mean, is it really news? And once again, just like last week with your Abbott Costello reference, I love you just using current stuff like that.

Look, man, I've got an old soul. I'm the, I'm like that John, I'm literally about to call out a John Pronson and a very old John Pronson, but that song, the oldest baby in the world, that's me. Like, I'm the oldest baby in the world. I'm such a child. I'm, I'm, I'm the oldest baby, man. Like, I'm such a child and I'm such a cartoon, but at the same time, I've got an old soul and I'm going to bust out a lenient squiggly line on you from time to time. I don't know what to tell you. Well, let's start off with some big news. Are you ready? God damn. Yeah, go ahead.

Melania Trump announces a renovation of the Rose Garden. Of course, they built a new wall. Millennia Trump announced Monday she will oversee a renovation of the White House Rose Garden, overhauling the iconic green space adjacent to the Oval Office in West Wing. She intends to restore the space to more resemble the original design and formation of the Rose Garden established by President John F. Kennedy. What do you think of Melania Trump revamping the Rose Garden? It's certainly what our nation needs right now. I was going to say, but they're going back to the original design. I believe it's going to be reminiscent. It's going to be an homage. Well, I, well, I, for one,

and for it, because whenever Donald Trump was first put on the ticket and I was looking at all his policies and I was going to this and I was like, oh, that's racist and oh, that's bigoted. Oh, that's going to be a nightmare for the country. I was like, could you just somewhere on here, if you could just lay out in clear terms that you are going to bring the goddamn White House Rose Garden back to its original form, then maybe we can have a conversation and maybe I can concede on some of my morals, because that is the thing that our country needs right now during the middle of a pandemic, during the middle of Black Lives Matters protest, during the middle of anti-protesters,

during the middle of literal stormtroopers running down the road, throwing women and fucking spraying Vietnam veterans in the face with Mace, literally just for speaking in their mind, during the middle of an economic collapse, during the middle of fucking baseball and basketball are going to be no more. At least we can have the garden that overlooks this fat fuck's office being in tippy top shape. So yes, I mean, she's got to do something. Be best. You mentioned baseball.

Of course, baseball started up again. And what better way to celebrate baseball than a coronavirus outbreak? Miami Marlins had 13 people get the coronavirus and it made them postpone 13 games. Not that I think it's funny, but it is interesting. 11 players and two coaches got coronavirus over the weekend. What are your thoughts? Well, my thoughts are I just remembered a monologue joke that I was going to write that I forgot to, which was it turns out they all tested positive for being from Florida.

But yeah, man, dude, this thing, it's going to be over. before it even started, man, like with the baseball and with the basketball, like I touched earlier on people breaking the bubble to go, you know, to pretend like they're going to a funeral and then go to a strip club. With baseball, too, it was the Marlins. They had just played the Braves. Like, they just found out that everybody had got the coronavirus and then they played the Braves. And the Braves tonight played the raise. So like if anybody on that team was affected, this shit's over. And like, I'm not saying that they shouldn't have tried, like, look, we're going to, I think, it was a valiant effort. Like, maybe we can get everybody in this bubble and maybe we can do it this

way. At least we're going to try to be safe. We're not being like the NFL's currently being where they're just like, hey, fuck it. We'll just see what happens. But like, man, I just, it's becoming more and more clear every day that like we just were so underprepared in almost every facet of government, of the private sector, of our personalized. We just don't fucking know how to handle a pandemic, it turns out. also the news a new study showed that spanking has declined incredibly an incredible amount in America due to the fact that millennials and genx parents appear to be spanking their kids less than previous generations however pediatricians worry about the impact of the pandemic

on spaking um i guess they're saying parents are going to get fucking freaked out no i'll tell you i'll tell you what it is is that people aren't going to be talking about is it's not they're not no one is like oh we don't need to beat our kids we've grown as people and we know that that's not it's just that they watch the news every single day and they're like god damn everyone has a camera phone don't they like you know like back when i was a kid my mom would beat the fuck out of me in walmart and you know who knew that my mom beat the fuck out of me in walmart the old lady that worked at walmart that just happened to be on the eye while i was getting the fuck beat out of me at walmart if my mom was beating my ass at walmart and then somebody broke out a phone and started filming it, it got on Twitter, that would be the last day my mom whooped my ass at Walmart. Now, my mom would whip my ass probably doubly when I got home. So yeah, man, there probably is something to it where it's like, look, we're cooped up in the house this whole time you're frustrating me more. I know I'm frustrating you more. And hey, no one's looking. Put your goddamn phone down. Don't you tick-tock this ass beating you little

motherfucker. So I get it. I get it. My wife has certainly beat me more during the pandemic. here's here's a uh something from the it can only happen at walmart department of the news a walmart bands couple do you want to guess why they were banned from well how do you have banned from what hold on just a second let me pause for a second these segue this feels like we wrote this segment either you're amazing at segways or i have somehow brilliantly used whatever the next segment is in the joke that i previously was because i just got through talking about getting my ass whooped at walmart here we are some Walmart news. What's going on? It's pretty good. It's pretty good, right? I think we wrote this segment. Can we say that? Well, there's a lot of pressure because if everybody's like,

oh, they're winging it, this is pretty good, but they're like, oh, they wrote it. Well, I'd have punched it up a little bit. So we freestyled it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we freestiled it. Okay, that would be an amazing stretch of fiction. But let me ask you this, Corey, what are the, what are a few reasons that you think Walmart would actually ban a couple for, let's play like the match game. Walmart bans couple for wearing blank. Ooh, Walmart bans couple for wearing blank. Deodorant.

No, I'm kidding. That does seem to be the case. Oh, fuck. Did they wear, uh, this would be very off brand for Walmart, but I'm just going to guess, what was it? Did they wear a Confederate flag mask or something?

Oh, you're so close. You're so close. Word. It's a mask. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Nope.

Nope. Nope. Nope. They didn't. If you're about to fucking tell me, if you're about to fucking tell me that someone walked into Walmart wearing a goddamn swastika mask. Is that what you're telling me? Yes.

And the picture's fantastic because their swastika bandanas that they're just draped across their faces. Walmart bands couple for wearing Nazi swastika face coverings. A couple. seen on video wearing face coverings with swastikas as they shopped at a Minnesota, you know, Walmart is now banned from the company stores for at least a year. At least a year. I mean, I think that's fair. A year. You know, that's a, that is a slap on Zerishth. Yeah. Honestly, I think that's in the in the handbook at Walmart. It's a year for swastika face coverings. Yeah. What is the handbook? Mind comp, Jr. Jesus Christ, just a year. They really, but they really like,

Did they talk to these people? Is there like, did they, did they, truly to, they wanted to, they wanted this to happen. Like, they left their house like, well,

honey, this clearly isn't going to fly right. No, of course not. We're going to cause a media uproar. That's so fucking crazy. That it's like, if they want us to wear a mask,

they're in Minnesota. So I'm going to use a Minnesota accent. If they want us to wear a mask, we'll show those motherfuckers. Right. Right. They didn't realize that Minnesota would have so badly to the swastika masks.

That's so fucking insane, man. What a bird finger that they've just attempted to give to the world. Like, oh, okay, okay, I'll wear a mask. Yeah, that's so fuck. Well, I say it's funny. It's not funny that anyone feels beholden enough to wear a swastika mask. However, of just stepping back for a second, it's fucking funny. It's so goddamn funny.

That's so stupid, man. What's even stupider is that they had them. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. They have been supposed to use. Right. They were like, because I guarantee you, I mean, Etsy is a thing.

I'm sure there's a, there's like a, I'm sure. I'm sure there's like a Q&N sector of Etsy that like you can get a swastika face mask made, which means. Etsy comes so close to rhyming with Nazi, like so close. I know. I know. I know. Like if they, yeah, like you said, like if they were going to just get, if they were like, They were like, let's order these brand new.

They would have ordered, I guarantee they could have found swastika face masks, but they were like, well, couldn't find that on Etsy, but like, hey, do you still have those swastika bandanas that we, that we wore that Gwar concert five years ago? How awkward is it that they got kicked out for wearing something that they probably bought there like 20 years ago? Right, right, right, right. And by the way, I would like to go back and revisit the last statement I made. I'm not in any way insinuating that Gwar attracts Nazis.

Gwar is a great band and if I came across as making anyone think that there was a correlation between Gwar and Nazis, then I'm very sorry and I apologize to Gwar who, uh, friends of the podcast. Are they really? No, that'd be great though. This has been this week of the news with Corey Ryan Forst. This episode is brought to you by

leftover green beans and potatoes in a cool whip tub. Leftover green beans and potatoes in a cool whip tub because you're sorry. sister done and ran off with all the good Tupperware. Left over green beans and potatoes in a cool whipped tub. It might not be what you thought it was going to be, but hey, isn't that life? For this edition of this week in Southern history, we're going to go back to 1966, and what a year it was. Medicare officially went into effect. Batman starring Adam West, Bert Ward and Caesar Romero, premiered on television, and a Buddhist set himself on front.

fire at the U.S. consulate in South Vietnam. You've all seen the picture. But before we get to this week in Southern history, we will need to go back a few months and discuss that week in British history. It was March of 1966 and a London newspaper called the Evening Standard had just done an interview with John Lennon. Now, that isn't unusual or of any note of its own. I mean, this was the newspaper in London. And this was John Freaking Lennon. They're going to chat from time to time. What did, however, cause quite a stir is what John Lennon said in the interview, when he argued that the public were more infatuated with the Beatles than they were with Jesus, and subsequently, by his estimation, rock and roll would outlast Christianity.

Now, you may be asking, well, Corey, if this happened in March of 1966, then why are you covering it for the last week of July? And first off, I'd like to say, how do you? How do you? dare you? But secondly, I'll tell you why. It's because it took until July 29, 1966, for that interview to make its way into the hands of two Birmingham, Alabama disc jockeys, who, regardless of intention, were about to cause a ripple effect that would affect rock and roll forever, and depending on how far you were willing to reach, aid in ending the life of one of its true pioneers. You see, the interview didn't really get that much heat when it was published in England. I mean, it seems that as much as we make fun of them for their hot, unsweetened

tea, their cucumber sandwiches, and the way they say things like theater and laboratory, our friends from across the pond aren't really that sensitive about Jesus talk. The same, of course, cannot be said when it comes to the people from the religious rural South in 1966. So, on July 29th, when Doug Layton informed his co-host Tommy Charles that some loudmouthed, long-haired, and worst of all, foreign hippie-dippy dip shit was jawing off about being bigger than their Lord and Savior. Well, that was the last straw.

We just felt it was so absurd and sacrilegious that something ought to be done to show them that they can't get away with this sort of thing, said Tommy Charles. And what was that something that ought to be done? It was destroying Beatles' records on air. Some might say, like petulant fucking children. I would never say that, but some might.

And not only that, they would take this obtuse teenage temper tantrum a step further by encouraging their listeners to burn their Beatles records. That's right. Across the south, bonfires were held where teenagers would show up in masses to set fire to the music they once loved, like a Viking funeral for their childhood, which had been stolen from them by the bad man saying no-no words about their sky friend. Right before the comments made waves in the States, the Beatles were preparing for their fourth concert tour of America,

a concert tour that they hated. Between protests and album burnings and death threats, coupled with the fact that ticket sales, while still financially tremendous, were on the decline from the previous year, the Beatles had finally had enough. The group that drove women crazy, that inspired a haircut, that exploded on Ed Sullivan and later, changed music as we know it. The Beatles stopped touring forever. Sure, that didn't mean the Beatles were done making music. I mean, hellfire later that year they recorded Sergeant Pepper's The Lonely Hearts Club

band. And of course, when the Beatles finally did break up, they all went on to have tremendous solo careers. I mean, you know, they were the fucking Beatles, man. Paul would go on to form wings. George Harrison would release a plethora of feel-good psychedelic tunes and later with Tom Petty and Roy Orbison formed the Travel and Wilburys. And, you know, Ringo did a bunch of shit, too.

John Lennon, of course, went on to marry Yoko Ono, who was famously accused of Yoko Onoing the Beatles. Man, that's such a crazy coincidence. Together they made music, art, and love until one night when John would make the news once again, but this time not for something he said. John Lennon was returning to his New York apartment after a night out doing, you know, John Lennon shit, and eating at the stage deli when from across the street behind him, a crazed lunatic put five hollow points in his back. Lennon was pronounced dead on arrival, and then, during Monday night football, Howard Cosell told the world.

One person who didn't hear Howard Cosell was Mark David Chapman, the crazed gunman who was arrested moments later as he sat reading from his copy. of the Catcher in the Rye. Chapman gave several reasons as to why he did what he did. He was upset by John Lennon's lifestyle, and he was upset by some song lyrics, and notably, he was upset by a statement John Lennon made that hit American airwaves on July 29, 1966, when he was interpreted as saying that the Beatles were bigger than Jesus. Now look, I'll admit that Mark David Chapman was a crazy person, so no, I shouldn't go back and

blame these two Alabama DJs for the death of John Lennon, but I will say this. The next time you find yourself saying, oh, the world has gotten so politically correct, you can't say anything anymore without people getting offended. Just stop and think to yourself, who set my records on fire today? Hell, hell, rock and roll. Like we are going to have every week, we have an exclusive audio, butter cream dream piece what do you think he's going to talk about today Matt Coon that's really uh that's really that's really yeah that's great question

did you fucking forget again yeah that's a great question cone I look my wife and uh and my roommate came home and I didn't and I was like I'll do it later because I can't scream right now while they're taking a nap and then we ended up doing the well-read podcast and then the sad news bears podcast and then the second you just opened your mouth and you like the buttercress i was like oh core you fucking idiot it's week too son but you'll you'll have one i'll go record it separately ladies and gentlemen through the through the magic of audio editing the buttercream dream fix it and post it's fucking hilarious that is hilarious shoo whey through the screen door podcast nation it's your boy the buttercream dream and where do i

even start with this week of grievances oh i know Mitch mcconnell you mayonnaise colored spineless roach with a chicken's pussy for a neck, four months in to the coronavirus, and all of a sudden, you want to start telling people to wear a goddamn mask. I understand why your ass would want to wear one you, Donald Trump's sycophantic out-of-touch classes, zit on the bottom of my papal's nut sack piece of human shit. Oh, I know what makes you feel better about looking into all your constituents' eyes the people you don't give a fuck about, the people whose livelihoods you'll trade so you're rich crony one percenters. can get a tax cut, the ones names that you'll watch scroll at the bottom of a news ticker as a casualty of war, or a victim of the opioid crisis that you help prop up. I know it makes you feel better to know that they can't see you smiling ear to ear under that mask, you slimy piece of shit.

This podcast is brought to you in part by my new special, Corey Ryan Forster, live at the Bijou. Here's a clip from the special where I talk about Civil War reenactments in my home, hometown of Chickamauga, Georgia. Hope you enjoy. One of my favorite parts about the Civil War reenactment is just how committed to the bit these reenactors are. They are so committed to that, like that is Colonel Johnson all goddamn weekend. You know what I'm saying? That ain't P. Paul no more. That's Colonel Johnson. Like if you're out there and you're like me and you were bummed out when Daniel Day Lewis decided to call it quits after Phantom Thread because you're truly going to miss the commitment

to the Thespian craft that he brought day in and day out. Well, no further. Then Chickamauga, Georgia on War Between the States Days, where these reenactors are truly putting the meth in method acting. It is unlike anything you ever seen. They do. They committed the bit so hard. You can't even pump gas in my hometown of Chickamauga, Georgia, on war between the States days,

but having some dude in a full bird Confederate uniform holding a musket, walking past you while you're pumping gas, just going, huh what prey tell is that strange liquid you're putting in that holless carriage I have never seen such a thing in all my Dave

I'm like Bill this is your fucking gas station dude you know what I'm saying like you took the day off to be racist man the credit card machine I've got shit to do I'd love to go down the street and get a barbecue sandwich we only live on one road and both sides are blocked off with a goddamn cannon There are several easy ways for you to pick up Corey Ryan Forster Live from the Bejew.

You can PayPal Buttercream Corey at gmail.com and just PayPal whatever amount you want. I'm trying to do this to where everyone can afford it in these weird times. There's no amount that will offend me. There's also no amount too much. But like I said, I want everybody to be able to afford it. If you can't afford to pay anything, please also just email me at B. buttercream Corey, or excuse me, email buttercream Corey at gmail.com and we'll get you taken care of. This will also be available on gumroad.com. I will share that link in the podcast description

and as well over on gumroad.com. It will be a pay whatever you want situation. So I hope you enjoy it and I love you guys. Now back to this podcast through the screen door with Corey Ryan Forster. That's me. Skew. Well, there's the buttercream dream and you had it ready and we're, Corey was just ripping me. It was ready to go. What's what we're talking about? It was fantastic.

Of course it was. That video when I said all that stuff, that very specific stuff that I remember. It's audio. Audio, yeah. Hey, we're having, you know, look, man. Professionals at work. Speaking of professionals, we are professional movie reviewers. We reviewed Green Lantern last week.

And those of you who enjoyed it and my employee Doug really dug it. I didn't mean to say that. He went out of his way to say that was his favorite segment that you're a great comedian who can just nerd out at a moment's notice. And that is the Corey Brand, you know? Yeah. If you enjoyed that, we talked about it probably three times as long on Patreon. We had to cut out like we literally, we got into scenes and stuff. We got various.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And like, it's funny you said that because I was asking for some some feedback last week. And I was like, you know, what was your favorite segments? And somebody was like, um, they're like, I loved it all. I really, I like the movie review, but in my opinion, it went on a little long and I was like, well, we cut 27 minutes out of it. So we're trying. So this week, we decided to watch 2015's Fantastic Four.

Now, instead of going into the whole thing, because we don't want to spend an hour on it, but if we do, we'll put that. That's almost how long the fucking movie was anyways. Oh, Jesus Christ. So let me ask you this. Why is the movie bad? This is called The Fantastic Four. It literally took, I wrote it in my notes, 52 minutes into the movie before they even go to the planet and become the Fantastic Four. We're 52 minutes into the movie.

The movie is only an hour and 31 minutes long. Your movie is about the fantastic. Like, like, we went from, like last week we were talking in the Green Lantern of how like, Man, they really just kind of skipped over the origin story, but not in a good way. In this one, it was all, somehow they did all origin, but no one's actual origin. It was just 52 minutes of just, hey, you're all waiting for us

to go to space and get our fucking powers, but I don't know anything about any of the goddamn characters. It was so boring. It was so dark. And I don't mean dark in like a gritty kind of way. I mean, it was a shock. Literally. It was just shot super dark and like, I don't know.

I mean, oh, so there's that. And then there's also, I can't remember the exact minute, but I remember that Dr. Doom shows up the villain. He shows up with 12 minutes left in the movie. 12 minutes left in the movie. I have, they've given Goldberg more time than that. I don't understand. Like, how are they about to have it?

Dude, it's, it's, it's, it's egregiously bad. That's the worst shit I've ever seen in my life. And I've seen some pieces of shit. But dude, when he's in that goddamn gurney and they have the they have the extended

gynecologist shit out for him to wear like all his arms and stuff for like draping over. It's like I bust it out laughing, which is the first time I laugh in the entire movie. And normally comic movies make me laugh at least a little bit.

But like, dude, I lost my shit. That was so ridiculous. us. Let's talk a little bit about special effects. Last week, we talked about Green Lantern and the special effects being lacking as something that took away from the movie. Did you find the special effects of this movie to be a net gate or net loss? I was pining for the green suit in Green Lantern. I longed for the day. Like, when I was watching the Fantastic Four, last week felt like it was so goddamn long ago.

You have no idea. The only saving grace was that this movie was very short. But dude, the CGI was absolutely fucking terrible. The Michael B. Jordan's like very casual. Like, oh, I don't need, okay, flame off. It's a, flame on, flame off. It was just so bizarrely shitty, like seeing his face underneath the fire. And then not Michael Chickles, but who was the thing in this one?

Bertie Topping. God damn, dude, it was rough. Like, it was just all so fucking shitty. Those goddamn, uh, Dr. Doom, Jesus Christ, man. Like, again, I didn't think, I was like, well, we came out the gate with CGI fucking Greenlander, but this movie was just, it, again, like you said, like, not even one part could be good. It's like, okay, well, the story's bad, but, but maybe they had cool explosions. No.

Well, maybe they didn't have cool explosions, but it looked cool. No. Well, maybe it was so, so bad that it was good. but no, not even that. Biggest piece of shit I've ever seen. I hate my life and I don't want to do this podcast anymore. We're going to wrap with this segment with a couple quick questions. Corey,

what was redeeming about this movie and you can't say the actors? Because that's the answer. Yeah, that it was only an hour and 30 minutes. That's it. I mean, literally, like that was, they at least had the goddamn courtesy of making it not that long. And even though it's like, I want to say like, well, they should have made it longer because hell it took them 50 minutes and it

all that could have been done it still could have been an hour and a half and they could have told the exact same fucking piece of shit that it was short that it was short was the most redeeming thing that I know the answer I think but is this movie so bad it's good no no it's it's not and I really thought like I really thought that it would be I was like if it's if it's because he got a 9% on rotten tomato a nine A nine percent. So there was part of me that was like, okay, well, that means that there's going to be so many situations where they're like going way too hard for some sort of like cheesy comic book joke and it won't land. But like that will be funny to me like watching them cheese it up so much.

And the reason that it got a 9% on rot and tomatoes is just because it was a not even just a boring story. It was a non-story. It was nothing. There was literally nothing there. I don't know. any of the character's motivation hardly at fucking all like there was really no second act it was just a really long first act

and then the third act was 15 minutes long it just fucking sucked that I will never I could see myself if I was if I was at home and I was scrolling through and there was nothing on but Green Lantern was on I could see myself going out turn this on while I tweet or whatever that's fine this piece of shit right here, I'll throw my goddamn TV out the window.

Do you have a favorite movie, or excuse me, a favorite moment or a favorite scene or a favorite line from the movie? Fantastic. Yes. Yes, I do. It was the end credits. That was absolutely. My favorite part. And my favorite line was whatever.

Oh, I'll tell you, my favorite line was when at the end when they were trying to figure out the name. And he was just like, oh, I've got it. and then the movie was over and it just spelled fantastic for it's the stupidest fucking thing I've ever seen but again it's sick I knew what was about to happen and it meant that it was over that was the scene uh you know if you haven't seen the movie and please don't don't don't do it they're brainstorming daves they're like I don't know the the and this at the end of the movie so it's like their glorious moment at the end after their battle which is the worst end movie battle of all time it's it was 12 minutes it was 12 it was 12 fucking minutes long it was

12 fucking minutes long. Steve Mungo McMichael's first match was 11. Like this is so fucking, I think we, I think we screwed up here, man. I really think that we screwed up because I was about, and it's fine. Look, you're going to run into this. But like, I was kind of excited to be like, okay, man, I'm going to start

announcing the movie, which you should anyways, announcing the movie a week ahead. That way we can get people to watch it along with us. And I'm still going to do that. But I if anyone watch this movie because of me, I don't deserve another dollar from a ticket sale, a t-shirt. They should mark David Chapman me. They should fucking get my autograph and then fucking shoot me outside of my apartment

in New York. And imagine that. That'd be great. Like, I deserve that. I don't, ugh. So that is our movie review of the week. We have done superhero movies. going to switch it up a little bit. Corey does not know what movie we're doing. My son

recommended it. I could not disagree. It's a polarizing movie. Some people think it's good. Some people think is bad. I am not looking forward to watching it again at all. I know you've seen it, Corey. What if I were to tell you that our next movie we're going to review is the Phantom Menace. I love it. Dude, I'm so okay. And yes, people go back and watch it again, especially if you have Disney Plus, it's on there anyways. Like you're already getting it. Dude, I'm actually really, really jazzed about this because, well, I, okay, I'm not going to talk about it right now because that'll be for next week's saying. You're looking forward to how good it is or how bad it is or you're.

I'm looking forward to rehashing because I have rewatched it fairly recently. Now, not like in the condition, I was fucked up. It's what I'm saying. Not like in the condition of where like I retained anything from it. But I do remember thinking, I could defend that. You know, I could defend that moment or blah, blah, blah, blah. I will tell you this, like straight up. But I don't, it's not considered like, like on Rotten Tomatoes,

it's got like a, like an 80 or something like that. The third one, the Revenge of the Sith or whatever, I rewatched it not long ago because I wanted to see how shitty Hayden Christensen did in it. And that movie, like, dude, listen, like, it ain't got shit on the actual original trilogy nor any of it. But like, it was, I can defend a lot of that. But that, that being said, I've been really wanting a reason to, go back and sit down with a notebook and watch the Phantom Menace.

Because like you've got to understand, and I'll probably cover this from this next week, you've got to understand when I saw that movie, I was in sixth grade. Like that's my age. I was in sixth grade. We're the target audience. I was the absolute target audience.

I also waited outside the theater with my buddy's older brother who drove us. And so I can see a movie like that. And I think that there's a lot of people that are like this. I can see a movie like that. And even if in hindsight, it's still bad, I remember the age that I was when I saw it. So I'm still like, oh, man, that's fucking right. So I'm actually very excited. Matter of fact, I'm going to get, I'm going to go get my father-in-law's projector.

And I'm going to watch that shit outside this week. I'm pumped. Fuck yeah, man. You brought it back. I was so down low, man. I was like, two weeks in, and this is the worst segment in the world. Fucking the fantastic floors is shitty. But like, you just brought me around so much.

I cannot wait to do this. Me too, and I cannot wait for you guys to hear it next time on through the screen door. But coming up. Hello, and welcome back to another installment of Rednecks Reading Movie Monologues, a celebration of the art, culture, and societal importance of cinema. For this edition, Cousin Jimmy will be performing the famous, In Defense of Dance Speech, as delivered by Kevin Bacon in the 80s classic Footloose. So I just wanted to say a few words about this motion here

So that you wouldn't think that we're encouraging destruction With this, well, with this ideal From the oldest times, people dance for a hell of number of reasons They danced in prayer or so that their crops would be plentiful Or so that their hunt would be good And they dance to stay physically fit And to show their community spirit and they dance to celebrate.

And that is the dancing that we're talking about. I mean, aren't we told in Psalm 149? Hold on just a second. I got it here somewhere. God damn, where's that? Hold on. There it is. In Psalm 149, praise you the Lord.

Sing unto the Lord a new song. Let them praise his name in the dance. Hell, it was King David said that. King David. I'm just going to come up here for a second and just prance around if I don't mind. It was King, King David, who was. we read about in Samuel and uh and what did David do what did David do shit what did

David do hold up hold up oh yeah David dance before the Lord with all his might leaping leaping and dancing before the Lord leaping and dancing Ecclesiastes assures us that there's a time to every purpose under heaven time to laugh time to weep A time to mourn. And there is a time to dance. And there was a time for this law, but not anymore. See, this is our time to dance.

It is our way of celebrating life. It's the way it was in the beginning. That's the way it's always been. It's the way it should be now. So why don't you suck my white ass, John Lithgow? Well, it's another show, Corey. We had a bunch of different things going on. think everybody's going to enjoy this week in Southern history, talking about the news.

Of course, your favorite movie, all time. Fantastic. God, damn it, shut the fuck up. What did you learn this week? Corey, Ryan Forrester. I learned that, well, I need to, like, have somebody screen these goddamn movies for me before we go forward doing it. Like, maybe, I mean, now, I've been burnt this week.

We're going to watch Gladiator and Fight Club? Like, we got to watch. No, I know. I know we got to watch basketball. movies, but again, like Green Lantern's a bad movie and I still had a goddamn good time watching it. I've learned that I love you more today than I did yesterday. But, as you know, not as much as tomorrow. Man, I've learned, I've had a blast.

I learned this week, not necessarily today, but I learned this week that I'm really, really enjoying this week in Southern history. That was one of the most, like, I don't know how people are going to receive it. I hope by the time you're listening to this segment, you've already listened to it and loved it. So I don't know how people are going to receive it, but I can tell you that writing that John Lennon story and doing the little research that I did and like getting everything right and moving. It's the closest. It's felt for me being like back in a writer's room in a long time and it really scratched that itch for me. So I hope everybody is really enjoying them. Like I was walking around the house, literally glowing the day that I wrote that.

And my wife is just like, what? Why are you in such a good mood? Because I know that I seem like the happy cherubic little just balloon full of fucking love and come. But that was so gross. But I'm very often, I don't have no idea. I'm very often sad and not in a good mood. So my wife is like, what is what's up with you? I'm like, I just wrote this story and I'm about to record it.

And it's other. So I've, man, I feel like I've really found it again with this. I'm happy to be writing again. I'm happy to be writing for everybody here. And I'm happy to be doing this podcast with you, Matt Cohn. I like to see our friendship blossoming. Sure, even though you ditched us out, you ditched out on us this weekend. Corey, I got to tell you, it's been a pleasure.

It's been another good show. Make sure, guys, to order Corey Ryan Forrester live at the Bissue. And Corey is a master businessman. So you pay whatever you want, live at the Bijou. Bishu. Yeah, Bajou. Bishu. you. It's his comedy special and it's available to you. How do you get it? You can just

PayPal buttercream Corey at gmail.com any amount that you want. And also if you're out there and you're like, but I've already seen that special and I would like to give you more money to do another thing. You can go to our website, our being me and the dudes I tour with, Trey and Drew, well-read comedy.com. It's w-E-L-L-R-E-D comedy.com. We are doing a live Zoom live streaming show on August 7th, which will be a completely new material that you didn't hear on the special. And the special was completely new material that you didn't hear on the last tour. So I've been writing my ass off. It's going to be a good time. You can grab those tickets. They're 15 bucks. They include the show, my set, Drew set, Tray set. And then afterwards,

we're doing like a little hangout drinking situation with everybody involved. I think we put the tickets on sale like two days ago or something and we've already sold like fucking 2,000 goddamn tickets or something. So they're going quick, but there's no limit because it's online. So come join us, man. It's going to be fun. That sounds like a lot of fun. And if you want more fun, go to our Patreon.

Of course, patreon. Of course, patreon.com slash screen door. Tell all your friends, do you say we had 60 reviews? Let's see if we get. It's crazy. And that's just on iTunes, man. I know that everybody doesn't just listen on iTunes. But yeah, 60 reviews, all five stars except for one piece of shit.

it's probably my fault. I might have been one star accidentally. Dude, I was about to say it very easily could have been me going through their reading reviews and I accidentally clicked one star and was like, what? I thought they were trying to ask me what I thought about Apple podcast in general. I was like,

fuck it, not good. Click. Well, I'll tell you what I've learned this week. Nothing one cares what I think, but I did learn something important that I think will benefit all of our listeners. And that is,

Corey, that I need to remind you about buttercream dream pros. Yeah, Yeah, you do. Yeah, you do. Yeah, you do. You do, man. Well, the thing about it is, is that I, like, the only time I, I don't, like, set out every week. I mean, I do set out every week. Like, every week I would like to do a buttercream dream promo. But I don't just, like, go, okay, it's Wednesday at this time. That's what I'm going to do. Something has to happen. Like, I don't ever want to just shit when I'm out. So, like, I just wasn't, I wasn't thinking, like, this week when I, when I did the one on, holy fuck, what to do. Oh, Trump talking about. how he aced his goddamn dementia test. Like, I was sitting at the house and I was literally like, I think it was almost Friday and I didn't do it on Wednesday. And I was like, well, man, nothing this week has really happened that I think was monumental

enough or worn it at a buttercream dream video. And then that, and then that happened. And I literally went straight outside. I got on my phone. I typed up a little thing and did it and came back in. And then boom, got a shit ton of views. And then I just forgot like, oh, you probably should went ahead and rid another one of these for the show because I'm a fucking idiot.

By the way, if you're out there, if you're out there, how about do this? Tweet at us and tell us what you would like the buttercream dream to cut a promo on because on this podcast, it doesn't have to just be the Trump and the McConnell's and the bullshit of the world. It can be fun. You know, I did one on beans for the first week. So whatever you guys won't tweet it at me and I'll write that shit.

Of course, if you want to tweet them, you can tweet them at Corey R. Forrester. It's got, if you think you're putting in too many R's, you're not. Yeah. And you can tweet me at Matt Coon Music. make sure to review our show on iTunes. Let's get up to 100 this week. And thanks again for joining us on Through the Screen Door with Corey Ryan Forrester. Shaka Khan.