wellRED podcast - Up Our Own Butts W/ Hollywood Talk

Episode Date: March 12, 2025

Light Severance spoilers but mainly just hollywood jibber jabber and talk of how hard actors hit and how much we suck TraeCrowder.com for Tour Dates CoreyRyanForrester.com to see Corey in Atlanta March 20 If you liked Corey's Essay at the end, consider supporting him at WeLoveCorey.com so his son can go to college FactorMeals.com/FactorPodcast PromoCode: FactorPodcast

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion, because you used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie, I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now, skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people, people across the skewniverse, I should say. Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year? Do you even know? Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery,

getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low mane? Because that's a thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better, and it's called Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions,

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So I was like, I should know Spanish. I'll learn Spanish. and I've just been paying to learn Spanish without practicing any Spanish for, you know, pertinent two years now or something like that. Also, a fun one, I'd said it before, but I got an app, lovely little app where you could, you know,

put your friend's faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies. You know, those weren't a little like the Q-ball-looking twin fellas. Yeah, so that was money. What was that a reply gift for? Just when I did something stupid.

Something fat, I think, and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first, but then I quit using it and was still paying for it and forgotten. If it wasn't for Rocket Money, I never would have even figured it out. So shout out to them. They help. If you're money dumb like me, Rocket Money can help.

So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney. dot com slash well read today that's rocket money.com slash well r e d rocketmoney.com slash well read and we thank them for sponsoring this episode of the podcast. They're the they're the liberal rednecks they like cornbread but sex they care way too much but don't give a fuck. They're the liberal rednecks that makes some people upset but they got three big old dicks that you can suck.

The hubris of putting big old in there when I wrote that. I don't know what, who I thought I was. I was really feeling myself at that point in time. It was very early in the hitting process. And, you know, if I wrote it today, I don't know that I'd add big old to the dick. But big old dicks does just flow, you know, better. Lyrically, it hits, you know. Fits the meter.

And I think obviously we were, it was more. metaphorical. Yes, obviously. Boy, you talk about and so. I don't know that I'd claim to have even a metaphorical big old dick now is what I'm saying. I understand, but at that time, I mean, you know, to give people a little idea of how the sausage made, and this is embarrassing, but I don't mind. You talk about two, three people counting Drew, but especially us because Drew would go to bed

before we would and we would stay up all night having our hit summits. and boy you talk about two people who just really thought highly of themselves for several years and didn't mind who fucking knew it and we was wrong boy yeah I literally referred to myself as the voice of a generation at that time that's what I said you are a voice of a generation yeah but who isn't I want to add people didn't see this but I just want to ask you texted me a picture right before we started of me and Charlie Kirk. Like, can you elaborate on that? Well, here it is right here for people to see.

Charlie, yeah. Yeah, so it's funny, like, it's really hard for me. So I make the thumbnails for our shows, right? Okay. And it's really hard to get a good thumbnail of you because you have resting fuck this shit face. And so I was like, what if I just, find one, like if I ever get one really good thumbnail of tray, what if I just keep using that

one, but I go Photoshop different clothes on him and then just put that in the thing. So, because you don't, like, people don't, if you're scrolling and you see the same thing, you're like, oh, this must be the same video. And so I cut out this little suit and I put you in it. And I was like, oh, he looks like a right wing pundit. So I just did that and sent it to you to hit. Okay. All right. I didn't put it on the internet or nothing. Yeah. Why didn't. know, I didn't know if someone had sent it to you. And I was like, because, because obviously I've never been on Charlie Kirk's show, but I did a, I have met, I did a panel with him once with a year.

We were at Politicon, right? And I was like, did we, did I record something with, I thought you would unearth something from all the way back then, but that's how good it was, Joe. It's how good job you did. I thought you had, I thought you had a plan for, for my stupid face. I thought that you just got to remind people of stuff. Oh, yeah. wanted us to start doing the thing every right okay all right so there you go three minutes and 25 seconds

if you're listening only we just took a minute to purposefully make some silly faces for this exact thumbnail conundrum so it's so stupid but it's apparently important i know i know just like so many things in our digital worlds that we uh that we live in you had another great i just you know just telling everybody you know off mic stuff because that always hits on a podcast. You had another great idea, I thought, which was, as we told people last week, Drew is out of commission for at least the month of March, I reckon. I think he said maybe like six weeks.

So, yeah. Again, he may never come back. Lord only knows. I don't think he will. Lord only knows with that and he's out and down in New Orleans, running naked, being wild, things of that nature. But you said earlier, it would be funny. if the whole time Drew was gone,

we just did Bubba shot the podcast or whatever without like to troll him. Yeah. Which I think is a tremendous idea. Well, let's do it next week. Obviously we can't this week because like, you know. Pick a song. Got to pick a song and I want to do, you know,

I don't know how you want to divvy it up. If like I'll do the research next week, then you do the research the next week. I mean, I know how you want this to go. I know exactly how you want to. When we did Bubba before, you know, Drew always did like the bulk of the research, but I would always, I would at least like Google the song and find out who the songwriter was and find out as much about it as I could, which I feel is, you know, enough.

Enough to do, yeah, a podcast episode on a, on a popular, well-known song. If you find some fun, whatever, like, fun facts behind the scenes shit you can uncover is always good. But, you know, what are you doing? I'm looking for my vape. That sucks. It sucks so bad. I had it in my hand. I was getting ready to fucking charge it

and now I don't know what it is, where it is. Okay. I hear I thought, so is that another thing you tried and failed to quit? Yep, yep, yep. Matter of fact, keep talking and I'll edit this out. I've got to find this motherfucker because we're only five minutes in. There's no goddamn way I'm making it an hour without this. Well, you don't have to edit it out.

I'll just keep talking until you find it. That's fine. Yeah, I mean, I can't shame a man for, here's the mistake I think Cho makes. He's not on the mic right now. He's walking around. This is the mistake I think he makes. It's like, I think when it's, when it comes,

to self-improvement stuff like that, like quitting vaping. I think you should treat it like women treat a pregnancy, which is to say with a pregnancy, as I recall from all the many moons ago when we were going through it. The rule of thumb is 12 weeks, I think, at least, at least 12 weeks before you say anything about it. And with a pregnancy, it's for, you know, very somber reasons. It's because miscarriage is often happened more so than people realize. and that's very sad and tragic.

But I think in terms of self-improvement things, it should be a similar type of philosophy or methodology, especially if you are a fat piece of shit like me and Corey are. I think that us fat pieces of shit should refrain from telling people, not even just like publicly announcing it, but even telling like friends and shit. Maybe you're like close friends, sure, but anything beyond that that you're trying to do anything good,

for yourself because odds are you're going to ultimately not if you're the type of person that I am anyway. So, you know, like I don't, you know, I don't ever bring it up until I've already done it, which very rarely ever happens. Does that it? Did you find it? No, I found a Toby and I don't know what a Toby is. A Toby is, this is me and Robbie Lee's where you know how like, oh, wait, you've told me this on here before. It's, you left Atlanta. around, right? Yeah, it's like when it's like when one's almost dead. It's, it's almost dead enough to where you go get another one and you set that one aside, but it's got just enough in it to where if you run out, it's, it's not as, it's not as good as it once was, but it's as good once as it ever was.

Yeah, it's funny. The audience is probably annoyed at me right now because you definitely told me exactly that less than a month ago. Like within the past two or three episodes, you, you explained that to me. And I had forgotten it. It does. First off, I agree with you on everything that you just said. And that actually is like that that's also applicable to like writers, you know. Yes, oh, 100%. Like, you don't ever. And it's because of a dopamine release.

Like when you, if you have an idea for something, you start writing something, like you're, you shouldn't tell anybody you're doing it. Because when you do that, it releases all the dopamine and you feel like you've already done the thing. And then you're like, fuck. And I've made that mistake so much. many times like literally every half-baked script I have the reason that it's half-baked is because I got so excited about it I started it I'd put some really good pages in and then I started talking about it and then I it's like I released all that energy out into the world and then I was like well I'll get to it eventually you know so like I'm trying not to do that as much now you know but it's

hard it's really hard because like all of it's hard doing anything that's like worth doing. Yeah. Don't hit. No. I mean, it hits to have done it and to succeed at doing anything worth doing. That's what being worth doing means. But like the actual doing part of it, I don't care what you're talking about.

Fucking getting in shape, losing weight, writing a novel or a script. Right. Learning guitar, learning Spanish, whatever, fucking any of getting into therapy, go into the gym regularly. None of it hits. but then later having done it hits real hard but almost nothing hits as hard

as having done things like that oh my god dude but doing those things lord it don't hits well it depends I mean you know you know as well as I do like sometimes when you're like if you're being paid to write something that maybe it wasn't your idea you just took a commission or something

like sometimes that can feel like a slog but at least you have the money you're like the well I have a a poor purpose for this. Whereas writing on spec, you'd think it would be easier to be like, I'll just finish this later because it's on spec. But oftentimes when it's on spec, that means this was your idea.

Like, you believe in this so much that you're willing to do it for no money. And I genuinely do get, like, excited writing it or whatever. But I think in we live, and this has ruined us, like the, we live in such an immediacy culture, like with, you got to put out a video every day. You got to do this every day. And I've really started to think about how much it has affected. affected my long-term goals for the things that I want to do because like every day what I want to do is work on this script that I know good and well will take me six months to get a first

draft and then I've got to do but in but in the back of my brain I go yeah but you have to put something out today right you know what I mean and it and it gets in the way when you do put the thing out that day you're like I'm done right ahead no yeah I can go chill now I wrote I mean, I wrote, like you could just then go back to the long-term project after doing the thing for the day. But, well, you know, that ain't it. It's like, no. Well, because you've got to shift. They're two different things.

That also is true. You know what I mean? And I try to tell people, like, Amber that all the time. I'm like, everything I do is in the creative field, but there are such different mediums that, like, some days are a writing day and some days are a performative day. and I can't always go, I can't sit there and write an essay for the Atlanta Journal Constitution and then two seconds later put on a buttercream dream shirt and do that because I'm in a different headspace. Like, so what I've started to do, and this really works is every Monday, whatever Corey

wake, whichever version of Corey wakes up, yesterday it just happened to be writer Corey, right? Whichever version of Corey wakes up, I'm just that Corey all day and I crank out as much as I can. Like, I wrote three essays yesterday. I wrote a couple poems. I wrote the first verse and chorus to a song that I ended up drunkenly sending to my buddy Channing Wilson and he sent me back a demo of it, which was really good. And so yesterday was like writing, Corey. And I don't think that I could have shifted into any other zone. You know what I mean? But now instead of like fighting it, I'm just going, this is who you are today do all of this and then next week you won't have to write as much because you already did it you know yeah i don't um i i also have different gears i guess maybe everybody

does i don't know but like i got to be in a stand-up gear to write stand-up and i got to be in like script gear that hits but yeah no i agree with you completely that's how my brain works too i can't go straight from uh trying to write stand-up material or stand-up bits into like into a a script or whatever. I have to kind of like... It's different. I mean, yeah, they are very different. But yeah, it's like I have to sort of mentally shift into...

And it's hard. Whatever that thing is. So... With jokes, like, I've never... And I used to, like, my method has always been... Every day I write a premise. Like, almost every... Actually, dude, I mean, I've showed you my insane notes log.

That's all it is is premises. And it's probably... I mean, I would... say it's the equivalent of like 45 pages long in my phone that's just I have an idea for a joke here's the premise I write it out and then every now and then I will sit down and I will go to that and I will pick the one that's exciting and I'll go okay right you know what I mean but most of the time with stand up I have to like be so it just has to happen you know what I mean it just like I have to just be walking around and something happening I go holy fuck that's a bit and then I go

Like I can't, I can't manufacture it the way some people are so good at doing. Like, I assume Gary Goldman is very good at just waking up at six in the morning and going, we're writing jokes. Like, I know Seinfeld is. I'm not good at that. No, I'm not either. It's funny how, because I, because I know you write on the stage, so you get up there and show out so much, and I don't really do any of that.

But the thing you said about the notes file, I have a Google Doc that is the same thing. pages and it's like it's not exclusively just bullet point premises it's prim there's a premise section and there's like a chunk section and a set list section all that stuff it's but anyway i go i do the same thing when it's like okay i need some i need more material i just go look at my list of premises and pick the one out that like calls to me in that moment then try to yeah work it out from there but anyway i don't know if any of this shit like oh people like people like talk i mean you you wouldn't believe this, but comedy podcasts are very popular. People do like hearing about it.

But like, there's a comedy podcast I listen to that I have like a policy about not talking about comedy. And they act like it's because people bitch about it when they do. Well, that's fine, but this is who we are and this is what we're talking about right now. We can stop. That's okay. But I did just want to say like, you know,

me and you are very different in the sense of like 45 premises for me because of how long-winded my jokes are. That's probably 20 special. of your career. Yeah, that's 20 special. Your entire career. Yeah, because, dude, when I went to, I was at Witsyn in Charleston, and by the way, you can come see me in Atlanta, March 20th at the punchline run my new hour.

I did my new hour, and it was all just improv based on premises I had in my head. And I just like, and this isn't a brag. Anybody that's done something for 21 years should be able to do this. But like, I just have, like some people are bilingual, like they speak English and Spanish. bilingual, I speak English and jokes. Like I can just, I know the cadence. I know how to say a sentence that's not really funny, but time it correctly to where it is.

You know what I mean? It's a bit of a cheat. But that's, yeah, I don't know. But I can't, like, it's hard for me to shift from that to then the AJC is like, hey, there was a school shooting. Will you give us 800 words on that? And I'm like, fuck. Yeah, well, that's, well, yeah, I mean, that's a completely different.

I got you writing about school. shootings over there? They have, yeah. I don't know. I mean, I've been in that position before, too. I remember when I was like, my first, really my first ever, like, comedy job that I got was, I

did that thing for the New York Daily News very early on. Like, when we, I mean, we started touring, and I got, like, a development deal with Warner Brothers and all that stuff, but like a gig, I made a weekly video for New York Daily News while still living in Knoxville.

and they were like explicitly they were comedy videos right but also that's a newspaper and it's for their website and i remember it like it was the the pulse nightclub shooting in florida right massive hate crime spree killing and fucking you know florida and they were like yeah we want the video to be about that and i was like how how do you expect me to do that it's like they Because, like, these are supposed to be, these are supposed to be and have been funny. For those videos, I like, I, like, put on shitty-ass, like, costumes and makeup and did characters and stuff. It wasn't just my, like, regular rant videos.

They were, like, way, and they did, like, background images and shit. They were, like, way sillier than the, you know, even the, the, normal things that I do. And so I was like, I don't know how the fuck you expect me to translate this format into talking about fucking something like that. And I just, so then I made a, you know, it was formatted the exact same way, but I was just like serious the whole time, you know, respectful and serious and somber, which is, that's what the moment called for. But it was like there's that, this shouldn't even be a thing, you know.

Yeah, yeah. You don't want me. Why should, why am I doing this? Right. Get someone else to do. Right. That's how I, for you. That's how I always felt.

And like, but I did also like, the one school shooting that had me. cover like it happened in Georgia you know I'm here in Georgia and I'm an op-ed writer and they offered it to me and I had turned in you have no idea dude I write my ass off I've got so many essays on my backlog that I had turned into them and they were like this is great but this just happened so write about this instead so I've got like all this it's pretty nice because I've got all this extra stuff that if I can't write one week I'll go hey what about this but I was like okay I'll do it but like where am I coming from here like how joke heavy you know and they're like well just be you and I was like all right well me is someone who like if you're asking a comedian to

write this I think that you should get the comedian from me like I'm not here to solve this problem I'm here to tell you that this problem happened and offer my unique explanation on why I think it happened and I put some jokes in there and for the most part everybody was with it, but I know that there were some people like, I can't believe he's making light of this situation. I'm like, I'm not making light of this situation. I'm just like, they asked a comedian to write about a school shooting. What the fuck did you think was going to happen?

You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, no, they order to know better. Speaking of what the fuck did you think was going to happen, if you caught up because I'm not on Severance. Severance is like a big cultural phenomenon, right? People love that show. New episode tonight.

Yeah. It's a big thing. It's a big enough. It's now the number one show on Apple TV ever, and it took it took over Ted Lasso, which like, I'm blown away because it feels like Ted Lasso was more of a cultural phenomenon and also a family show. Like Severance is very heavy, not for everybody. But yeah, I'm caught up and I too am like, what the fuck? Okay. Well, see, because I didn't, I didn't, I'm one episode behind that because I rewatched the whole show.

show. I rewatched the first season before I even got into the second season. I'm one episode behind. And I understand for being on Reddit all the time like I am, that apparently the last episode, the one that I have not seen yet, did not hit for people, or at least a lot of people. Oh, it hit for me. Okay. But, well, a lot of people on Reddit, it didn't hit for them. And I'll, I was going to say, even before, well, I don't know why yet, because I haven't seen it. But even before that episode and episode seven, like not to get. too specific with all this or anything and avoid spoilers and all that, but it's,

I thought, I started to get kind of a little bit worried, a little bit where I was like, lost. Like the show lost. Like you brought up, yes, like that it was getting a little to what I call bug fucky, like there was some things that started to happen as this season has gone on that's made

me start to question how satisfactorily all these things are going to be answered and all this is really going to come together because if they're not, that's going to heavily impact the way that I ultimately feel about the show looking back. Of course. That's how I always end with these mystery box shows and stuff is I get super into them. I dig the fuck out of them the whole time I'm watching them. But if they don't...

It only works if it pays off. It only works if it pays off. And if they don't end up paying it off, then retroactively, I'm like, man, fuck that whole show. Now that I know that it didn't pay off or work out, I don't give a fuck about any of that. So that's kind of where I'm at on severance right now. I'm loving it, of course. I'm sort of of two minds on that. Like, I didn't watch Lost until it was over, and everybody had shed upon it and whatever.

And so, much like, I think me and you've talked about this, I've heard that, like, people who just now started watching Game of Thrones, like, after it was all over, they, they, the majority of them do not have a problem with season seven and eight. Like, the people that binge it and stuff, like, they do not have a problem with. it and my theory on it is like well that's because the bar was set so low for them like they'd heard nothing but this is fucking horrible this is dog shit that they went into it with that and it just wasn't complete dog shit and so they liked it and with lost like yeah dude the ending was like whatever but i did enjoy the journey and i think there's something to be said for it's not the

destination it's the journey in a way like i was not completely satisfied but also i hadn't tuned in every week like these people. You know what I mean? I hadn't tuned in every week. And that makes it different. So I didn't feel betrayed because I could stop at any moment. You know what I mean? With severance, I believe this episode that you're talking about that didn't hit for people,

number one, the reason that it didn't hit for people, I think in a macro sense, is that it was the one episode directed by their director of photography, a woman. and it looks wildly different. Like it doesn't look like any other episode of the show. And I would love to call it a bottle episode just because it doesn't feature a good bit of the main cast. But like bottle episodes are usually to save money. I don't see how they saved money in this episode

because the special effects were still out of this world. Like they had this one shot, dude, where I was like, well, that's CGI or fuck, they might have used AI. but it's not like where it cuts from a person and then it goes down through the computer through the wire cables of the computer and down into the mainframe and they actually just did that

with a microscopic camera like they showed how they did it and shit and so I won't give anything away but this episode focuses mainly on Gemma and in my opinion did did the previous episode not also focus on her Wait, what does it mean? Because I am either, either I am wrong and I am caught up or you are wrong and you're, one of us is off because the last episode I saw was the episode that's nothing but Gemma.

Are there two episodes that's nothing but Gemma? No, that must have. Maybe I'm, maybe I'm caught up and I don't realize it or one of us is off. Well, I think you're caught up. The only reason I'm saying is because that particular episode is the one that I've seen everybody shit on. Well, that's the one that made me start to go like, I don't know about the direction this is heading in. But I'm pretty sure there's been another one since then. Well, maybe, but even if there is, I'm of the opposite mind on that because like I thought that one, obviously it didn't answer a ton of questions, but like, and not to spoil things for everybody else, but like seeing that bottom floor and realizing that like, okay, she's a test subject for all of this.

you know what I mean? And then it sort of tied back to when Irving goes over to Homeboy's house and the dude accidentally slips up that maybe Lumen has been around longer than they think it is made me believe like, holy shit, Irving was a test subject too. And then I started thinking about like, what is this algorithm that they're working on? And to me, it's like they're trying to perfect the transfer of human consciousness so that the head care guy can live forever after being frozen on ice or something like that. And that's what they're taking all these undesirable numbers out or what now. Now that I don't know how they're going to explain how these people know like this binary code looks bad versus this one. But like. So see that all that part of it.

And people, so we probably should have saved all this for the end, like we used to do a Game of Thrones talk, because if people ain't watching Severance, they're going to be like, who gives the fuck. We'll go watch it. It's great. Yeah, but our close personal friend, Ben Stiller, is the director, is the producer.

I'll shift gears to an entirely different thing, but even though it's related to this, but whether you've seen this movie or not, this is more of a general statement. The example that comes to mind for me is Jordan Peel's second movie, us, right? I absolutely fucking loved Get Out.

And I absolutely fucking loved Nope. Nope was great. I really love Nope. I actually like Nope better than Get Out. I think, of course, I'm a white. But either way, I love both those movies. Well, Nope has the Western element to it and the Hollywood stuff. And it's a creature feature, which I fucking love.

I'm just a fool for those. My boys love Nope too. They ate that shit up just like that alien monster ate all them innocent peoples. But anyway, spoilers. but his second movie us if y'all recall even if you never saw the movie the marketing was everywhere it's like there's evil

everybody has an evil twin who wears a red jumpsuit and has a pair of scissors and shit like everybody's got an evil an evil doppelganger and the premise of the movie is everybody's evil doppelgangers arrive to overthrow us or whatever basically

and it's like the first hour whatever is real wild and you know, like when that's all happening and it's unexplained, it's real captivating and stuff. And then in my opinion, that movie tried to give like answers to like, this is what's really happening and this is how all this works, right? And for me, it just made less than no fucking sense at all. I was like, really? That's what you, we're supposed to believe.

suspension of disbelief is one thing, but that's what you're telling me is happening here. Like, that's how this whole system works, because that is completely illogical. Like, that just doesn't... Nothing about that makes any sense to me. And it made that movie not hit for me.

And I'm like, I'm starting to get those kind of vibes out of severance, basically. That might not be what happens. Like, I could be wrong, and I hope I am wrong. I'm just saying I've started to wonder

if it's going to be that type of thing where it's like, okay, it is going to answer the questions. but in a way that I kind of still find ultimately nonsensical, basically. I definitely, us definitely disappointed me in a way, but I'm such a huge Lapita fan that.

Yeah, she's pretty awesome. She's very awesome that I like. And also, like, you know, I told you, like, I was never into horror. Like, never, never, never wanted to do it. And Jordan Peele got me into it. And so, like, I sort of just bought into his whole vibe. And I was like, well, if this is what this is, I'm in, you know, and, and yeah, dude, it didn't make any sense, but like so many horror, like five,

like five nights at Freddy's. I don't know if you like that. Didn't, I'm not, I'm not justifying what they did. I'm just saying in my brain, I didn't care. Right. In my opinion, I'll say this, and then we'll take a quick break, but, uh, I know and you're right, but I've heard Stephen King talk about this a lot. And I'm actually totally fine with this.

When I know I said earlier, mystery box shows. They set up big, there's a different, they set up big questions that you inherently want the answers to. You have to have to. So if you don't get answers, it pisses you off. But with like supernatural shit, right? In horror movies or sci-fi movies and stuff like that,

I'm completely okay with just throwing me into a situation and being like, okay, this is a universe where this fucking thing just happens. Like Stephen King used to say, like he doesn't strange things. There's a story he wrote. about a fucking elongated finger that comes out of a bathroom drain and, like, chokes a lady to death or something.

He's so wild. He's wild as fuck. Well, yeah, I mean, it was cocaine for years, and I think he just got, like, residual cocaine brain. I know plenty of people who do cocaine. Yeah, that's true. You know what I mean? That's a good point. Well, it's like, when you, he's wild.

And I'm like, well, what about my uncle? He didn't ever write care. Yes. But I think the idea is, like, when you take clearly an already wild motherfucker. Yeah. And put him on cocaine for 25 years or whatever. Yeah. He ain't going to get less wild.

No. But anyway, uh, in his, uh, in his whole thing with that was just like, you know, I'm not going to waste time. He's like, of course it doesn't make sense. He's like it's just a short story. You know, he's like, he does, it's just an idea I had. And I thought it'd be wild. And like, I'm okay with that.

Man, I was just watching something else where the same thing came up. And I was like, I, fuck, I can't remember what it was. Oh, that's going to. really bother me. I think it was, oh, I do know. Did you watch

that movie The Gorge on Apple Plus? Amber started it without me and it has pissed me off so bad because I wanted to watch that. It's actually, it's a good, it's a good movie.

I'm sure it is. I wanted to watch it and she started it without me and now I can't ever watch it. It's a good movie and basically I was like, they did a, they gave a,

color, right? Yes, and, uh, Wild Eye Girl. Anna, Anna,

Ania Taylor. Ania Taylor, Jaya. Yeah. Isn't it, Anya Taylor Joy? I always thought it was Anna Taylor Joy. That doesn't matter. Anyway, yeah, it's Anya, Taylor Joy.

Anyway, they... She's got that it factor, don't you think? She absolutely has that it factor. She's wild-looking. It's another way to say that. But, yeah, she's magnetic. But that movie is like that. You don't know what's going on at first.

And they do end up explaining it all. and like, I was like, this would have hit, and I still liked that movie, but I was like, this would have hit harder for me if they would have basically just been like, it's a, it's a portal to hell pretty much.

It's like, you know, portals to hell are not real, but you're just like, this is some inner, like you've seen the missing preacher? Yeah, I've seen the first few episodes, but I tried to watch that with Katie, which was a huge mistake,

and she went into it, and so then I left it too. I know the Earl's in it. It makes so much sense that Earl's in, And I hope Earl's listening to this. Because me and Michael Seravis were talking about this, about how he's like, I swear to God, Earl, he goes,

that guy gets more work than any actor. He's like, he's never not working. And I was like, yeah, man, so many scripts call for a dipshit asshole sheriff and who you going to call. Like, who you going to call fucking W. Earl Brown, son. Yeah. We could shift into talking about acting in Earl a little bit, actually, right after this, because I have things I'd like to say about.

that but you'll never believe that but it's true by the way i tried to do this by saying that anna taylor joy had the it factor it factor thank you i didn't even think about that went completely over my head but you know it doesn't go over my head how hard factor hits the company y'all know i i mean i've been telling you for a long time ever since i got sent factor as part of this whole deal i ain't never looked back uh because it's hard you know i always say i like i like cooking i enjoy cooking but you It's unrealistic to cook every meal of every day. And for me, especially lunch. Like, I'm not going to rustle up lunch, but I don't want to eat trash either.

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they do and they also provide me with some vegan options which is great because i try to do that twice a week and one time actually i heated up the vegan option and i didn't even know that it was the vegan option until after I ate it and looked at the box and it was fire. And as someone, you know, as Trey was saying, I got a, I got a child and a two-year-old one at that. So lunchtime for me is especially like, I got to try to take care of him. And it's just so easy for me to pop something in for two minutes, have a nutritious. And again, really good meal. Because like, obviously there's plenty of things that you can pop in the microwave for two minutes and eat, but they're not always good. But with Factor, they are absolutely delicious.

They also do a lot of their meals. They'll put it on like a bed of cauliflower rice instead of rice, which I really love because I'm trying to stay as lean as I possibly can. And again, I can't recommend them enough. Not only have me and Trey just been on them forever, I got my parents on them. They used our promo code and they have still been with it. And by the way, if you want to get on the train, eat smart with Factor, get some. started at factor meals.com slash factor podcast and use code factor podcast to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping. That's factor podcast at factor meals.com slash factor podcast to get

50% off plus free shipping on your first box. At 50% off, I mean, try it. And I promise you when you try it, you're going to be like, wow, not only is this delicious, but I'm saving time. and time baby is money now i'm saying factor make a hit make a hit all right yeah we're back so yeah to give just to give our um earl some of his flowers here oh this show is also sponsored by stay fancy merch dot com where you can get putting on air's merch and also the jerrymander hat and the shirt that i'm wearing stay fancy uh uh merch dot com right uh how about that yeah also hits give earl some of his flowers here just to say some shit that I think about acting in general again.

Don't know how much this will hit for people. He's real good at doing that. Yes. And here's what I mean specifically. I obviously living out here in Hollywood, I've auditioned for tons of stuff. I ain't got shit. I think I'm terrible at auditioning,

but maybe I just don't really hit it acting that much either. I've taken a lot of classes. Well, two things can be true. Right. I've taken a lot of, I know I'm bad at auditioning and I think I might just be bad at acting too. But I've, and part of the reason I think that is because of our role, frankly.

but he can make a lot of people feel bad because of how good he is. But anyway, I feel like there's kind of differing philosophies when it comes to acting and actually you can see this and act. Earl's definitely a character actor, right? And then,

but a lot of directors and stuff, they, they want actors to do less, be more subdued. There's like a cliche with actors that they like, they get, they go too big or too big or too broad. Stop acting.

just be, be the character. You're acting too much. And what I interpret that to me is like, they're doing big, big choices, big actory choices, like character actory type stuff. You know, I'd be doing that.

And like, so, and I normally don't. I don't think that that suits me, right? And I feel like whenever I, whenever I try to do that type of thing, I just feel like it just really don't, it's just like, it's very, this dude is acting and it's,

very obvious he's acting. And I think if I don't do that type of thing, I can act very naturally, right? But the thing with Earl is he does both at the same time. Earl, Earl is,

and I've told, I've told him all this. We've talked about all this in person, but it's like, he makes these, like, big fucking choices and these really actory things, but like he is that guy. But he's, so good at it that it plays like naturally and at least like disagreement sometimes where it's like

because he'll help me do auditions and stuff and audition. Yeah, me too. And I'll be like, I'll be like, Earl, I'm, you know, like he's like coaching me to do the type of thing that I feel like he does. And I want to be like, but I can't, I'm not, I ain't that I can't do that. You. You are more suited to do the type of thing. I'm not saying that you can on the level that he can obviously. No, no, no. Like, you're, you're more of that type of, you're more of that type and I'm just not, but he's like, I'm a character

dude. Like I'm a, I'm a big character. But so many people, man, can't, they can't, they cannot pull that type of thing off. And Earl's just really, really, really good at it. I can't even, I can't even remember the show that it was for, but I was out in L.A. and I asked Earl,

I was like, hey, I've got this audition. Will you read with me? And he's like, I'd be, happy to, you know. And I get over there and we find out that the thing I'm auditioning for, Earl is auditioning for the part that I'm playing against, like the other person. Like it was this crazy coincidence. He's like, holy shit, I'm up for the guy that you're talking to. So like, this is great, right? And so we did it. And Earl like gave me so many good tips. And like, we went and watched the tape back together. And I remember he said,

he goes, he goes, if you don't get this, please I understand it's not because you didn't do a good job. He said, because you listen to everything I said. He goes, I would cast you. You did a great job. Earl got the part and I didn't. Obviously, like Earl was a, and Earl, I don't even think Earl was worried about it. I think Earl was just like, yeah, I mean, I'm going to get like, I'm doing this. I'm just auditioning as like a favor.

Like, I'm going to get this shit. But he's, yeah, he just, he can, he's, and it's so weird when they say act without. acting because it's like the only art for like they would never say go hey when you're on stage don't try to be funny just just be like don't do don't there's some motherfuckers who seem to believe that by the way that's true but that's true but you know another good one and it's not just because we're buddies some of whom are hugely successful Sean Bridgers is also so good at that like when you watch get shorty like him and get shorty like he makes these bold hilarious choices but they may so much sense because he just is that guy. And I remember like the first time we ever met Sean,

he comes over to Earl's house and he just told a story. But he, it's the first time I've ever seen an act, aside from Earl, an actor tell a story and he told it as if he was doing the scene. And I remember just watching it just going like, this guy's just so good. Like, like, I remember hearing like jerry sinfeld uh talk about how if you watch episodes of signfield yeah when they when they cut to his face he'll have this like look on his face and he goes that was me literally just going holy shit you're really doing some acting right now yeah like it just blew him away and like i think people don't understand that like they watch they go you go up there you read their lines or whatever but like we um we had an opportunity i don't remember if you were with me but rubin flisher who was our show was our

potential producer of a show that we were doing. He took me, did you go over to the set of Superstore with me? Yes, yeah. Yeah, I did. So we went over to the set of Superstore, and it's like America Ferrara and the dude from Groundhogs Day that I can't remember his name, but he's a fucking legend. And we just... Tobolowski, Tobolowski.

Stephen Tobolowski, yeah. And we just, like, got to sit there behind the camera and watch a scene be done. and I remember just watching it just going like, this is unbelievable. Like they're like they're just, yes, it's just people saying some words, but like,

I'm here knowing this is a show and I believe every fucking thing that's happening. Like this is crazy. And for me and you to think that we could ever. Yeah. Well, people don't realize and I didn't and I mean, I didn't realize it,

but you're right. It's like you watch it. And I think a lot of people think like how hard could it be, but you're right when you're around people that do it for real. I mean, I've told this story a ton.

And this. This is actually a completely different thing. It's even more stark contrast. But I did a table read for a Netflix cartoon. And it was... You're talking about Dumail? Who, what? Was this Olafan or Dumail?

That, neither. Josh Dumel was a... That was not a cartoon. That was a... And I wasn't part of that table read. I just went with Earl to a table read. That movie came out. It's called Buddy Games.

Oh, yeah. You talking about homie from New Girl. Yes, but I'm saying Table read for a cartoon A Netflix cartoon Which means almost everybody else Everybody else was either a star

Or like a voice actor Like a legit voice actor Just what they do Including like Fucking Phil Lamar was there One of the grades of all time And bro When I tell you that I have never

In my life Felt more outclassed than I did that day doing that. I mean, it was like, I mean, just immediate. I was like, oh, wow, this is like, because you kind of think, too, it's like, a lot of people lament this about voice acting, because now they just get celebrities to just do their own regular voice

where it's like, you know, dedicated voice actors are kind of a dying breed. Sure. Like, some of them are still out there and they still hit real hard. And it's like, the stuff that they can do is fucking wild. And when you're like in the room trying to do it, along with them or whatever. It's just like,

it's just like, oh, wow, y'all are in a, I'm way out of my fucking depth here. Like, this is, you guys are in a completely different way,

class. Well, dude. And I felt that way in like acting classes, too, with just like regular acting and shit. How about, how about fucking twice that's happened when me and you were in the same room?

The first time we did the table read for middle of somewhere, we had Gary Anthony Williams play the bartender from the boondock everybody knows him from the boondocks everybody knows him from undercover brother like he's great just comes in there with a couple lines and murders and then we did dead pilot society and steve a g comes in and like this is all shit we wrote so you'd think we'd be better at it now not even a little bit you know like like they're like people really need to put some respect

on these motherfuckers because it's like any i just don't understand that saying anybody that's like anybody can do that because like the obvious answer to that is then why don't you like why don't you do it and speaking of steve agey like dudes that are like uh you know very character-actory looking they're not traditionally uh handsome or sexy or whatever yeah he's great and peacemaker like those guys in particular if you see them pop up all the time it's because they hit incredibly fucking hard at what do it's like that dude that Dylan from severance, right? Or like probably the king of these guys right now,

like Paul Walter Houser, dude. He's amazing. What that guy can fucking do is like truly genuinely incredible. And again, I used to, I think a lot of comedians probably have some of this.

Before I moved out here and started being around these people and in audition rooms or in acting classes and stuff, I just, I just didn't realize that. Like, I think a lot of comics are like, come standups way harder than acting. Like,

you know what I mean? Like you just, by the way, you gotta write this stuff, but they're wrong. Yeah, but it's like, you can just show up

and do it or whatever. It's fine. And, you know, and I kind of thought that when I first moved out here. And then, but now that I've seen the shit, like,

live and up close, it's like, no, it's a, but it's a whole other fucking thing, you know. And I do think you can get there, by the way,

because I definitely, acting classes definitely actually do help. That's the other thing, too. I was like, that shit ain't going to change. It's like, you either got it or you don't.

but they definitely do help. And I think you can, like, get there and get a lot better. But at a certain level, I don't know. I guess the one argument that I could make, which the one argument I could make is there have been more stand-up comedians translate to acting than there have been actors translate to stand-up comedian, like try to do it. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yes. Well, a lot of those stand-up comedians who can do that are just, they're just like, they're just, they're just, like, they're just, they're just, like, they're just,

crazy fucking talented. Right. No, no, that's true. But I'm saying like, there is, like, I do believe. And I've had this conversation with actors before. Like, what we do does translate to being an actor in a way in the sense of so much of it is timing, pacing, stage presence, being likable, all that stuff. But then, you know, you see like, if you noticed, and I did, because I was there for, you. for the taping of that Bill Burr Black and White special,

you could tell that since his last special before that, he had taken acting classes. Because on stage, you could tell it. Like, his jokes, his actouts and stuff were, like, way better. Like, he was way better at doing the characters and stuff like that. But I'm just saying, like, every actor I've ever talked to has always been, like, what you do is harder than what I do. And I look at them and say,

absolutely not or I'd be booked. You know what I mean? Like I'd be booked. But I do kind of think, I mean. You'd say the same thing. Like everyone falsely believes that what we do is the hardest thing ever. And I just disagree. Now, that could be because we just were born to do it and they were born to do that.

Right. That's what I was about to say. They could just answer that with like, okay, well, then I could go up there and, you know, kill with a set at the improv or whatever. But I can't, meaning an actor could say that. that. Right. Like, like, look, dude, I do, I think like in a vacuum on one to one basis, I do, I do still think that stand up is harder than actors. It's the hardest. It's the hardest. But, like, it's the hardest form ever. But, um, I, I'm just saying I have a whole new level of respect for acting, though, that I frankly kind of did not have before I moved out here and

lived in Hollywood and show business for a while. I have a huge respect. It changes the way that I watch movies. Like I was, yeah. It's almost like a curse a little bit. Like when you like I'm not going to sit here and say like that we are so entrenched in the business like we've been on sets all the time. But I've been on enough sets and I've worked on enough pilots and I've hung out with enough actors and I've written enough things to where, you know, when you write things,

so like when I'm watching stuff, I'm never fully in it, you know, because I'm always going, And how'd they get that transition shot? Or like, or I'll go, I'll go, oh, this. Oh, that's how they tricked me into thinking this was a one shot because they did that. Like, I'm always, I'm always doing that. And sometimes I'll have to just like forcibly go, Corey, watch the fucking movie. You know what I mean? But then sometimes somebody, some, Alec Baldwin will be in the middle of a monologue.

And I can't even hear the words because all I'm doing is going, God damn it. Like, how? Like, how is he doing this? Like, this is so fucking good. And then watching some of the Marvel stuff knowing that like, these motherfuckers are acting to floating tennis balls. You know what I mean?

On that note, dude, I think we've probably talked about maybe even on here before. But on that note, it's actually having rewatched it as an adult with my kids and stuff, it's honestly pretty wild and impressive how not bad Michael Jordan did in Space Jam when you think about. He's great.

He's great. When you think about the fact that he ain't an actor and you and you take into account the circumstances of that movie and how he had to go about making it and it's like stuff that may like the type of shit that made Ian McKellen cry and walk off the set of the Hobbit, right? Because he's like he's a real trained actor and he's like I didn't this I didn't sign up for this bullshit. You literally did though. You did sign up for it. Well, I mean, I think you meant when I became an actor, when I became an actor, this is not why. what don't do the hobbit well i mean you know but they backed up the brink truck i'm sure and he's fucking gandolph bro i know i know i know i love him in mckellan well what they gonna do

they just ain't no habit if they can't get him on board with it i know that but i i love ian macklellan but at the same time i'm like that this that movie is not your passion project artistic thing this is a big budget million dollar movie just fucking talk to the tennis ball motherfucker. Right. Okay. Well, I mean, he obviously

ultimately did. He just had a little bit of a breakdown. I mean, he's an old queen, right? Isn't that right? Yes.

Dude, I love, I'm just saying he's an old fucking, you know, he's an old gay actor. Like, yeah,

he had a bit of a fucking, you know, moments or whatever. I get it. I get it. He came back around. Anyway, uh,

so I'm saying, and I can't even, I don't, I have no idea. idea how you do that well or believably. And the fact that Michael Jordan did it 30 years ago as a fucking basketball player or whatever, is pretty goddamn wild.

You know why? Because Michael Jordan, I guarantee you, treated his performance in that movie the same way he treated Game 6. Yeah. Well, also that, and maybe this is what you mean,

but I think it's also like he's never been overly concerned about anyone else around him or anything anyway. Do you know what I mean? It's all him. Like he had like, yeah, right. Oh, sure. Bugs Bunny's right there.

I don't give a fuck. Yeah. Yeah. And he's not going to be intimidated by any of that either. It's like, you know what I'm saying? He's like, even though it's Bugs Bunny, he's like, I'm fucking Michael Jordan. Like, he's just, he just has no doubt that he's going to hit at a thing. And so he does.

I mean, LeBron did a great job in the second one, too, like, for what it's worth. Like, and LeBron was good in that Amy Schumer movie. Like, I do think that there's some people who were just great and that anything they do is going to be great. Like, did you ever have that buddy in high school who like, let's say hypothetically, because I had a buddy like this, so athletic, so good at everything. I remember the first time he'd never played ping pong in his life, ever, never played ping pong.

And we all played ping pong like crazy and we're good. He comes in first game, waxes everybody's ass because he can just play. I mean, Dustin Thompson was that person. Yeah, there's some people, and I bet you Thompson could act, man. He was the Ryan Gosling of our school, bro. I've never, I haven't never told you all that before. We talked about, like, because me and him did, we did all the theater stuff together and plays together and stuff. And he was like, he was the dude.

Like, like, no doubt. I was the, I was number two on the call sheet. I was his best friend or soccer or whatever, that type of thing. But he could just play. He was the guy. Yeah. And, and yeah, he was like, without question, he's our leading man. He's like the best, best athlete in our class.

He's fucking homecoming king, all that shit. Yeah, he was that dude. Like, 100%. My, my, my, my, my, my, my, Thompson. He's going to listen to this too. Sorry, Thompson. I know it's making you uncomfortable right now. No, that's okay.

He asked the question and it's true. My, my Thompson, as you know is Robbie. And I've, I have no doubt that if Robbie had put as much time into what it is that I do as I did, he would be miles ahead of me because he's just that dude. Like, Robbie is so naturally funny. He can act his ass off. I've seen him do it because, well, what, what, what, Rob, well, when Robbie, when Robbie, when I say he acts, I mean, he lies, you know, but that's an act, you know what I mean?

But, like, he can make you believe anything. But there's some dudes that just got it. And, and by the way, like, Space Jam is a good fucking movie. Like, it's a good fucking movie. And Jordan does great in it. And I've seen people, you know, shit on it. But, like, what do you mean? Like, it's good.

Yeah, well, we were the right age for it when it came out. But I've watched it recently. Yeah, but I mean, I'm not, I'm not saying. I'm saying that space jam doesn't hit. I'm just saying also you do no good and well that like nostalgia glasses or whatever are a thing too. You can rewatch something as an adult that you loved as a kid and it still hit for you even if it might not really hit. If it weren't for that. I'm not saying Space Jam don't hit.

I'm just saying that that's a real phenomenon. Can I tell you why I'm different? I can look at you right now and tell you that Caddy Shack's not that good of a movie. and I loved that movie so much loved it but watching it now and it's not any type of like oh my god woke this woke that like nothing offends me or whatever you can just really tell that they were just on cocaine and just started filming scenes like it barely makes sense some of it like it's not and and I have a lot of nostalgia for that movie but like if my dad wanted to sit down and watch it with me I would watch it but like I I don't get the hankering to turn on Caddyshack like I used to as a kid. You know what I mean?

But I'd watch Space Jam right now. Mm-hmm. I would. But Caddyshack and also Animal House, bloods. Agreed. It was. I actually never saw either of those movies until I was an adult. And I was like, I was in my 20s, like college age or whatever, the first time I saw both of those Animal House and Caddyshack.

And I remember being like, I guess I'm not going to say anything to anybody about this because I know that there's a timeless classics. Oh, they blow. I don't get what this whole, I don't get where all the fuss was about. But, you know, but comedy specifically ages like milk, as we know. So that's a big part of it. For the record. I still. I still hold Caddy Shack in my heart as something that I loved. I don't hold Animal House in that regard.

But I'll tell you this, it's like, but it's not all movies from back then because you would think like, oh, Rocky Horror Picture Show, that was a cocaine-fueled mess. That movie holds up so well. Like, that's one of the best movies. ever made. And I didn't see that until I was an adult. So that's no nostalgic lens coming back. Like that movie is as a coaked up fueled mess as anything I just named, but it's really good.

Like it's one of the best movies I've ever seen. Coked up fueled messes can hit. Case in point. Stephen King, as we mentioned earlier. All right. I want to go ahead and wrap it up. If that's all right with you, because I don't tell the people something. You guys are going to hear this twice on this one episode.

but I finally, my special is finally coming out called Trash Daddy. Thursday, March 13th. So if this comes out, if you listen to this on Wednesday, then it'll be out tomorrow. March 13th, 5 p.m. Pacific time, I think. I'm doing like a live stream thing where I'm talking to people or something. I don't know. But it's on 800 pound gorilla's YouTube channel. Oh, I'll comment on it.

That'd be fun. Yeah, I shouldn't have said nothing. I don't hear from me now. Anyway, yeah. Anyway, yeah, but they're also, if our network, sweethearts that they are, is putting a little pre-recorded thing I did at the end of our entire catalog for a little while.

That's about my special. So y'all are going to hear me talk about it twice. That's why, if you listen, it's on every other episode, too. This is the only episode where you hear me talk about it twice. I'm not just losing my mind or anything. I'm very proud of you, buddy. And by the way, you know how excited I am. Like there's part of me that's like really missed touring with you even though it was for the best so I could raise my child and you could work on your hour and stuff.

But I'm so glad that I get to listen to a Trey Crowder special that I've never heard before. Well, you've definitely, we've still had the zany shows and stuff. There's going to be stuff in there that you've heard for sure. I'm aware of that. But like I haven't, but I haven't. It's not. Yeah, you haven't been seen it every night. Yeah.

And by the minute, I don't mean that in a bad way, but it's just like, you used to. Dude, I could like, when we were touring together heavily, I think any of us could go up and do each other's act, like whatever, so it lose some luster. But like, as a fan of yours, because I am, I think people don't think about that, but it's like you're my best friend, but also I'm a fan.

Like, I'm a fan of your stand-up, and I get to watch a Trey Crowder special that I didn't get to see a lot of. And I'm super pumped about that. That's right. Well, thank you. And he's not the only one, guys. You get to, too, so go check it out.

Also, come see me on the road. It is, of course, just so everybody knows. it's completely different material. If you come see me on the road now, you won't see anything that is in this special, obviously. That's how it works. But some people don't realize that. So don't think if you watch the special,

you can't come see me or vice versa, because it's totally different. So do both. Go to Trey Crowder.com, and there should be a link to a special on there as soon as it's available. And then also all my dates are on there. Me and Cho will be in Chattanooga on April 12th. Before that, on April 11th, me and Drew,

if he's still alive, will be in Knoxville. and I got a lot of other shows. If he's not, by the way, I'll drive up. Yeah, so it'll hit either way. Wilbur and Boston is coming up soon next weekend and then also plenty of other shows around that and off into the future.

So go trycrowder.com and I appreciate you. Hey, I'm in Atlanta on March 20th. That's a Thursday and it's only one show. It's at the punchline. And since it's only one show, it will sell out. So you need to get those tickets at Corey Ryan Forrester.com. Also, while you're at Corey Ryanforster.com, you can click on the link to my hero hero,

which is sort of like my Patreon, where you can see my old special, a long line of stupid, which I think is very good. And just so you know, my most famous joke from that special, at least the one that went the most viral, had like 50 million views

or me talking about my two grandmothers. I'm happy to report that the piece of shit grandmother and that joke died. So in honor of that, go watch it and go sign up to it. It's less than a cup of coffee a month, and that'll be great. And also, if you come see me in Atlanta, you will see me running my new hour, because I also am going to be recording in August.

I think I'm just going to do an album, though, just audio only. I think I'm going to sell it on cassette tape. You know, why not? So either way, go to Corey Ryan Forster.com. Listen to putting on airs, by the way. That's our sister show where me and Trey talk about fancy people and their goings-ons. And just support everything we do. And we love you.

And also, thank you all for listening to the well-read show. We love to stick around longer, but we got to go. Tune in next week if you got nothing to do. Here's to six weeks without fucking Drew. Fart. Fart. Hey, everybody. Here's an essay I wrote, and I thought that perhaps y'all would like to hear

me read it or in this case see me read it. The essay is called, don't tell me who God is. We've met. It starts out with a quote from the Bible. And on the seventh day, God ended his work, which he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work, which he had done, a little repetitive, in my opinion. Then God blessed the seventh day and sanctified it because in it, he rested from all his work which God had created and made. Believe in the Bible all you want, don't bother me a bit, but there's certain passages I get hung up on and perhaps none more than the one above. Followers of the biblical God believe that he or she or actually considering the existence of the Holy Trinity, I think they might be more appropriate, but I just mopped the floor and I don't want to have to clean up a can of worms. Created the earth in a mere six days.

Now, that right there is hard enough to fathom, but it's not the part that I have trouble with. For the sake of argument, or perhaps ironically, play in the devil's advocate, I'll go against my better judgment and assume it's true that it went down that way. I mean, if this feller or gal or non-binary being is powerful enough to move mountains, heal the sick with a touch, walk on water, and rise from the dead, I see no reason why he couldn't also create the world in a timely manner. The trouble I have with it, see, is the part where on the seventh day he rested. If I had to guess, that's probably also the day he thought to invent Mexicans.

Call me crazy, but what type of omniscient and omnipotent being powerful enough to flood the earth, torture his most beloved follower into almost killing their child using a teenage girl-level ultimatum, fill the seas with blood, cover the earth in locust, and order the execution of the firstborn son in every family needs to rest? I mean, if the third right can employ the use of amphetamines to, go on a three-day bender in the sky shooting down Allied planes, and if doctors David DeAndrea and Jerome Shintag could come up with Adderall in the 90s to keep our kids from drooling all over their calculus exams, surely the good God above could pull some sort of reverse

avatacadavra, sorry to you non-Hari Potter fans for that reference, and keep himself awake and energized ad infinitium, sorry to you non-Latin fans for that reference. As with most things I write, first couple paragraphs are shortly beside the point. They just serve to show you the inspiration that led me to the pretentious BS that I'm about to lay down over the next several. Thank you for bearing with me. Unfortunately, I'm still forced to doomscroll on the app formerly known as Twitter, and I've noticed sort of a harrowing trend as of late. It's not news to anyone that when he who shall not be named, damn it, another Harry Potter reference, bought Twitter, the algorithm was heavily shifted to promote our current president and his campaign, along with hate speech, blatant

disinformation, and most shocking to me, literal pro-Hitler propaganda. If you aren't online a lot, you may think I'm being hyperbolic, but unfortunately, I am not. There is now a large swath of people, both old and young, who are claiming that we have been lied to about Hitler by the media and that he wasn't actually the villain we've all been led to believe. I myself find it entirely too convenient that this is all happening during the first time since World War II that there are not enough veterans to refute it and speak out. I can tell you right now that if my great-grandpa and uncles were still around, they'd inform you that it is your patriotic duty to punch any and every Nazi sympathizer directly in the face.

But yet again, I digress. The latest in this series of algorithmic shifts with the sole purpose of keeping us all fighting while the oligarchs rob us blind, excuse me, has been what I'd describe as vigilant Christianity. And that is to say Christianity that doesn't focus on anything Jesus ever said, but instead aims to bully and mock any and everyone who doesn't view the Holy Bible as infallible, the King James Version, of course, because we all know that God wrote it in Old English. for the white man. Look, I'm all for standing up for what you believe in. I'd be a hypocrite to say otherwise. And in my belief, I certainly include your right to believe in and stand up for

your religion, but as I feel applies to everything from our Constitution to the rules written in shock on elementary school boards across the country, your rights end where mine begin. And frankly, this shift towards Christian nationalism falls firmly in that camp, in my opinion. I've seen these people claim that Hindus worship the devil. Hell, I've even seen a great many of them say that Allah is the devil, even though anyone who has half a brain knows that Allah just means God in Muslim speak. It's absolutely insane. It's dangerous and it's certainly not what Jesus would have you do. So perhaps you all need to start wearing them little bracelets again. I've been called an atheist because I'm not a Christian, which is weird because I didn't know there were only two options. I'm here to tell you. I'm here to tell you, that I'm not an atheist. Far from it. As I write this to you, I'm walking around the park, listening to Bob Dylan, and I've lost count on how many times I've seen God. I saw her in the trees as she rustled the leaves ever so gently with her breath. I saw her in a mother squirrel feeding her young and I saw her in a deer staring me down and giving me the stink eye because I was walking

in his preferred path, and I felt her in my soul when after taking a breath of fresh air, I felt all my worries evaporate for a brief second. I see God in people, the helpers. I see God in the lakes and the streams. Just about the only thing I don't see God in anymore is the people who try to tell me who God is. I've been told that because I don't believe in a biblical God, I can't be a moral person because there's no one telling me what is wrong or right. I began this essay with a quote, so I guess I'll end it with one.

If the only thing keeping a person decent is the expectation of divine reward, then brother, that person is a piece of shit. Detective Russ Cole, true detective. Well said, Rust. Now, y'all get out there and see God today. That's my essay. Thank y'all for listening. I love you very much.

Bye-bye.