wellRED podcast - WellRED Podcast #399 - The Boys Have a Midlife Crisis!

Episode Date: July 31, 2024

Sup, WellREDDERS? This week the boys can feel death looming at them from right around the corner! The dumbasses are even talking about getting Cameros and probably hairplugs!   Oh, also... they talked about all that JD Vance couch stuff!   TraeCrowder.com DrewMorganComedy.com WeLoveCorey.com   Our friends at Mint Mobile are hooking you up! To get this new customer offer and your new 3-month premium wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to MintMobile.com/WellRED ● That’s MINT MOBILE dot com slash WELLRED. Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at MINT MOBILE dot com slash WELLRED. ● $45 upfront payment required (equivalent to $15/mo.). ● New customers on first 3 month plan only. Speeds slower above 40GB on Unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees, & restrictions apply. ● See MINT MOBILE for details.   Go to dietsmoke.com and use WELLRED for 20% off your entire order plus a $50 welcome bundle completely free. That’s www.dietsmoke.com, WELLRED.

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion. Because used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

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What was that a reply gift for? Just when I did something stupid. Something fat, I think, and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first. But then I quit using it and was still paying for it and forgotten. If it wasn't for Rocket Money, I never would have even figured it out. So shout out to them.

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They're the liberal rednecks that makes some people upset but they got three big old dicks that you can suck. Well, here we are,

everybody. What's up? Well, Redders, fellas. You want me to hit for you right off the bat? Yeah. We got an email on the putting on air's email,

actually, but it's about well read. So, Sorry, Drew sent something in the fucking chat that really hit. Do you want to just say it? Because I was immature and laughed too long. When I said relax, it sounded like I said relapse. It did.

For a second. Did I say relapse? Are you looking for a way to relapse? Yeah, I'd very much talk. It killed me. Like, I knew that you didn't, but like my brain, I think heard it that way. Like, I was in the same boat. So that's fucking hilarious. Anyways, this was sent to putting on airs at gmail.com,

which, by the way, if you don't listen to putting on airs, you absolutely should, as well as all the podcasts in the skewniverse, including gravy baby and weekly skews. But this was concerning well-read, and it reads as follow. Subject line, old well-read. I listen to podcasts eight hours a day while I work from home doing a lame HR job. I love all y'all's pods, so I decided to go back and listen to Well-Red from the beginning. just listen to episode 104 and I literally have never laughed harder. I love dinosaurs and completely agree with Trey. Pink and blue feathered T-Rex don't hit. Chewy, that was better than the great squirrel debate of early putting on airs.

Thanks for all the laughs. Did they say enough to say it? Trey has yet another homophobic fan. Does it appear to be a man or a woman that wrote that based on their name? You don't have to say their name or whatever. A woman. Really? Because, yeah, recently at a show in a meet and greet line in one of my shows, a dude told me basically that exact same story.

So, like, hey, I went back and listened to Well-read from the very beginning. And I just got to the dinosaur episode the other night. And holy shit. And this dude in person also was like, and I agree with you, by the way. That don't hit. You were right in them anyway. But, yeah, it's a... Well, if I told, every time somebody told me they agree with me, I'd have...

I mean, only like seven, but it's still like seven times. Yeah, but it's still a lot to happen, especially. from like seven years ago you know what I meant that I meant back then it happened I haven't heard it in a while but it did come up today this is super weird in another group chat I was talking so I was man we're going to have to go through all this I was talking about me and Corey's tombstone analogy for the world yeah and then I said I made the Houthis Doc holiday I'm sure much to the chagrin of Trey, but that hits for me. And someone said, so we're reliving the dinosaur debate. Yeah, right. Well, hey, we can't just let, we can't just say that, you know, without any

context for our listeners. Right. But what, what were the ones that we attributed to everybody? I said that, I said that Switzerland, we're talking about it. All I remember was you said, Switzerland was the gay person. No, no, Sheriff Behan. Oh, okay. That would have been funnier. That's what you said. That's France. That's France. Yeah. Yeah. That's France, dude. That's so fucking funny. We were talking about, I brought up Curly Bill, and we were, we were talking about a potential World War III

because apparently Beirut got bombed. And so naturally, we were like, hey, what countries would be Tombstone characters? Because we're safely over here in the United States, we think. And yeah, I think I landed on Switzerland with Sheriff Biham because

they just are kind of like, whoa, whoa, everybody fucking, you know, and they don't hit. I mean, listen, if you're listening the show from Switzerland. Your people hit for me, but I used to, when I was younger, feel like, you know, I respect that Switzerland was like, if this don't concern me, I'm staying out of the fight. But then the older I get and look at World War II, I'm like, no, motherfucker. You should have been in the fight.

I've had the same revelation as an adult. I do feel like they're presented that way to, like, school children. When they come up in the context of history, at least in my experience, when I was a kid, it's a good thing. They're presented as like honorable type of neutral or they don't take sides. It's a part of their code or whatever. But then you get older and you're like, they're just the fucking,

there's a blood money capital of the fucking world as well. They're profiteers. They don't take money off. That's all they're doing. It's not like noble or anything. They're Gus fring, dude. They're just fucking fring. Right.

If they were after the war, still not on a side, then we could consider the nobility of that type of diplomacy where you just don't get involved. But the whole like, no, no, we funded both sides. It's like, Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Listen, if we got anybody listening out there that hits at animation, I think that taking some of those classic well-read clips from nearly a decade ago, like the dinosaur one, but also the Pac-Paul Batman,

Papal Batman, DJ get Mason's butthole, like animating some of those and, you know, like the internet animation style. I think we get some shit that, I mean, I feel like that would hit. That would hit real hard. And, yeah, it's so far beyond my capacity.

I thought you were learning. You're right, but I want to say that as someone who has paid talented people to animate pretty good clips of mine, clips that had done well on their own, like my stand-up stuff. It didn't have. Well, honestly, it would be worth having for me for posterity.

But also, I hear you, I feel like if we, it's just because those are classic early well-read clips, there's no video at all. And I feel like you can't just put up a clip of just a wavelength flapping while you just hear, so you need

some kind of visual component, and I don't know what else to do. I mean, we can make a little slideshow put together some, you know, a little presentation of dinosaur mockups and stuff. We're the worst, man. Yeah, dude, we suck. If we had video of that. Trey, you mentioned that I was learning how to animate.

All I can do is like puppets. Like, fucking like, build. At one point, weren't you like, hadn't you, hadn't you, like, designed your own cartoon character that you were about to make? Oh, I paid a motherfucker to design it. I just learned how to, I learned how to animate that thing. So somebody designed the cartoon character of the buttercream dream, and you could take that and make it move.

Yeah, and I've got, yeah. Hey, off-key, what's the other thing? Yeah, and my buttercream land. My buddy Chris Robertson did that one, and then I paid a guy to make just me, like, in a podcast studio, so I could do stories and stuff like that. And I've got them and I learned how to like sync my voice up and make them move and put them in different scenes and stuff. And then literally had like right after that had a child. And then I just was like, no more cartoons. I got to grow up.

Well, no, it wasn't got to grow up. It was like I'm not good enough at this to where I can just do it on a whim. I still have a lot of learning to do and I don't have time to learn. You know what I mean? Yeah. This is a side tangent, but it is related. during the pandemic, we did those.

Me and DJ did those. We called them church meetings where we just have like stand-up variety shows. And well, people would bomb them all the time. If you put the link anywhere public, people would somehow scour the internet and bomb your Zoom.

Yeah. Well, when we found that out, instead of doing it less, we'd do it more. So we did bomb because it was always funny. Like, dude riding a bicycle where the seat was a dick

and he's bouncing up and down. Like, there's a lot of stuff. But the wildest one, this dude had some sort of filter. where he was a Avatar Fox cartoon character. But a cartoon, like it moved with him. So he would talk to us and the Fox would talk.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was so funny. It was so great too. He was like, he like said some weird stuff to us and we talked to him. And after a minute, he goes, okay,

I've never made it this far. Usually people kick me out. What is going on? And we're like, we're about to do a comedy show. You want to watch? And the dude just stayed the whole time. As a Fox?

Yeah. Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, Adobe animator is pretty cool. They're not sponsoring us, so use any animator that exists, but it's pretty pretty cool. So, okay. How do you do that live? Right. I've seen, I've seen clips of people doing that live.

That is really cool, though, but does that mean we could have that? Yeah. Like, could you just, like, could you just, right? A, that, but B, we could plug in like a clip, like a clip of us talking, the dinosaur clip thing. And it would put, like, my voice to one of the cartoons. That's a little, that's a, well, that's beyond. me. I can tell you that because the way that it gets you talking is that the camera gets your mouth. Right. And so in that instance, there wouldn't be a mouth for the camera to get. Right. So it

doesn't, like, it wouldn't know who it was sinking to. So like, by the way, obviously that's a thing that is done, but it's beyond anything I know how to do. But like the way that I get my got to do things is like my camera sees not only my mouth moving, but it sees my eyebrows raise. It sees my eyes open. It sees my hands move and stuff like that. So like, yeah, I couldn't. Dude, I fucking suck. I don't hit. I can barely produce fucking podcast. And by the way, speaking of old episodes of well read, it's not like this is a historic mark or whatever, but like, dog, come February, because I just, because of this email, I looked up old episodes, we've been doing this motherfucker eight years. And that's crazy. Because it don't even feel like

podcasts have been around for eight years. You know what I mean? But like, wait a minute. You're telling me it took us almost a year to even start this goddamn thing? Yeah, dude, remember? Burt Crasher had to, I know, I remember that, but I thought, I thought we were out to, hang out here hanging out with Burt like a month

into the whole day. Our first, you know, we were hanging out with Burt. It took us, it to do it. It took us, yeah, no, no, Burt told us we had to do it, but we didn't do, we didn't listen to him, you idiot. Like, we didn't listen to him at all. Um, because we were like, first off, We didn't know shit about fuck.

I mean, again, can't stress this enough. Still don't. But, yeah, no, February 17th, 2017 was the first episode of well-read. Time don't hit, man. No, time don't hit. I was thinking last night, like, how much time- I never thought I'd used to, because I used to be the opposite, and I know why. Like, I had children early, and but also my whole life, even as a kid, you know, probably

weren't childhood things, but I was always like more grown, you know, like old soul. Like I never seemed like a child. People always always always like you. I never seemed like a little kid. Even when I was a little kid, I didn't say my boy. You spared death in the face many times as a five year old.

Yeah. I always felt. And then years later, I have my first child at 25 or whatever. And so like I've always felt and wanted to be older than I was for most of my life. Like when I was 25, I felt more like I was 35.

or whatever. You were. And right. So it's always been the opposite for me. And also because of that, I never thought, I was like, I can't wait to get older. Getting older is going to hit for me.

It's going to be great. Well, now it's here. It's happening. But also my children are getting older too. Time is just passing the way that time passes. And it is not hitting for me. Like,

I don't, I do not like it. I'm not even 40. Like, I never thought I'd be a midlife crisis type of person. I'm not having a full bone crisis yet or nothing, but I'm staring 40 in the face. And nothing about it is hit.

for me. Like my kids, Bishop's going to be a teenager this year. It just, I've got gray hairs coming in, yada, yada, you name it. All of it. I'm like, this is, this, this, this sucks. I really don't like it at all. I'm just to go to like therapy or something because it's definitely fucking with me. Pretty bad. Like, big time same, man. Big time same. Me and Brian were talking about it while we were working out. There's a, there's a midlife crisis check. Did you stretch first? Uh, yep. And, uh, and, uh, and I've heard, I've been. injured brine though but we've been working out together and we talked we did the math on how much

money not we we ain't cheating on our wives we're not doing any drugs we've never done before and most of them are all natural mushroom types oh you're bad math we did the math on how much money we've spent together going to concerts and festivals yeah this year or in the future because we've already bought the tickets it's a number i'm embarrassed by no you shouldn't but but it's definitely a mid-like because it's too many festivals in a year for every festival to be worth it. Do you know what I'm saying? I mean, to me, yes, because I don't like doing stuff. But like, bro, that's who you are.

Like, you're that guy, man. Like, to me, that hits. Like, you're still you. I don't necessarily disagree with you. I'm just saying that I've overboarded it, which is like the mini midlife crisis. You're like, how many more do I have in me? Yeah, it's like, all right, fucking. Yeah, yeah.

Why say no? Why the hell would I say no to one? You can't pass it up. Dude, Tom is passing. You got to go this year because next year, who knows? Right. I'm so the opposite. Well, I mean, you know, my buddy Jared,

my buddy Jared, who y'all know and have met, he's also a big festival and concert goer or whatever. And I remember him saying we were in our 20s, and him and his wife don't have any kids, but he's just a fucking vagabond is what he is. I mean, yes, that's true. But I'm saying he's getting older and not changing, but I remember him saying once he was like,

he was just, he's like, I just would much prefer to spend money on experiences. Oh, that's always been. On material things or whatever, he's like, I don't really care about it. He drove like a, for years, he drove like a 95 Buick fucking LaSaber or something. I got a 98 Buick, right? Does that mean the sword in Mexican or Spanish? French, right?

Les Cable. Yeah, duh. But it means the sword, right? I mean, a saber is definitely a type of sword. Yeah, that car should have hit harder to, be called the sword. No arguments for me. I've never made an argument with you about the name of a car again.

I'd hate for it to be a seven-year-long bit for you guys. So it's good they went with Lessebe and not like La Rapier. That's the weirdest sword name for sure. But to your point, Trey. I like a scimitar. Anyway, go ahead. I prefer to spend money on experiences.

Absolutely. I've always been that way. I'm not changing, but I'm saying that I'm going into overdrive and I think it's age and for me it's not the number it's and I think this is what you're alluding to it's time it's like having a kid being back here where time moves so fucking slowly so you're just feeling it and it's like oh like death death is death is next bro don't every other event every other event in my life that's big unless something goes wrong or it's my career is going to be my kids every other event in my life big one is his first.

Yeah, yeah. First or newest, which is great. I'm all for that. But my point is, I think it's like, yep, death's coming. So I'm overdriving. I got to do what I want to do or whatever. Yeah. This is conscious.

I'm just like, this is why I'm thinking I'm doing. I hear you. And I don't know if this is like you're thinking on this. But, Trey, you were talking about how like, you know, the thought of getting older, like, you know, hit for you or whatever. And like, dude, in the past, like, it took me a long. And before I say what I'm about to say, please, understand that I'm aware I still got a lot of growing up to do. But it took me a long time to

finally feel like, I think I'm a have my shit together adult, you know, which like, regardless of how childlike I am, I am a, I have my shit together adult. I own a fucking home. I've got two paid off cars. I'm a great fucking dad. I'm a great fucking husband. I'm just a clown, you know. But it took me a long time to get there. And once I got there, I was like, I love this shit. This is great. And I genuinely, I actually, so far, I mean, I'll be 37 this year. I have 100% enjoyed my 30s more than I did my 20s, which is...

Oh, yeah. And I had a blast in my 20s. An irresponsible, crazy, scary blast. But I was also, like, getting older was hitting for me. Like, I was, like, fantasizing about being 50 and, like, working on a novel and, you know, fucking wearing leather and shit. Because, like... Leather Daddy.

Yeah, leather daddy, you know? But when you have a kid, that's when you have a kid, that's when you... Because when you don't have a kid, you don't realize how much time is going by. But then you have a kid and his growth. You see the time, like in front of you. Like, you have no choice, but you have no fucking choice, but to realize that time is going by. Now, with teenagers, like, obviously you're way more fucked up about it than me. But, like, he's in that, me and Drew's kids are in that stage of, like, every day, a new thing.

And that new thing subconsciously goes, growth, time, fuck, holy shit. We're getting new clothes. We're doing. So, like, I'm now being like, I'm getting all. old too fucking fast, you know? So it's like completely opposite. I'm like, because now, like, used to, before I had a kid, it was like, oh, I get old and then I die.

Who gives a shit? I haven't, I don't really like being alive. But now I'm like, I get old. I die and then he's here alone. Fuck, you know. I think the 30s being more enjoyable than the 20s might be actually a cause of this feeling that I'm having. Like, I did, like, turning 30 was fine because I hadn't, I hadn't done a lot.

a lot of the things I wanted to do, but I was on the way to do in the things I wanted to do. And also a lot of my 20s suck because of the pressing on. And I just started to get a handle of like how to manage that. Incarceration home. My 30s were rad and other than my kid, unless I get lucky, I just, boys, I think I did it already. I'm not saying there's nothing to live for. I'm saying as far as accomplishments and then just like enjoyment, he is what's left, which is great, but...

Yeah, but... I peaked. Well, first off, dude, peaking before 40 is not rare, which you didn't, by the way. Like, I've said this a million times, and I stand by it. In comedy,

white men don't peak until about 45-46. My career could do better, for sure. Yeah, yeah. But I'm saying, I think that, like, once our kids, and I'm sure Tray can attest to this, but, like, those moments of their achievements will,

like they hit for me now, but I think they'll hit even harder, like when they're like actual fucking achievements, like making a hundred on a test or like making the team or something. Like I think, I know that will hit equally as hard for me as when I achieve something. I agree. It's not a crisis.

It's a mini crisis because I'm realizing it's his time. And I'm not against that. I'm not upset about it. But there's like a, well, it's like what we said. And Trey, you can talk more about how you're feeling about it. But it's like, death is just, and I think also having the kid, too, it's like new life.

Death is, you know, it's not around the corner, but like, it's very real. I didn't think about it all until recently. I never thought about it either. But, yeah, it's like, I just, anytime I hear, like, songs from the 2000s or whatever, like, anything makes me a statute for what. And I'm talking, you know, like, fucking move bitch comes on. It's 25 years old. Yeah, right, exactly. But I miss her.

But I'm like. Yeah, it don't matter what it is. You see there was this bitch. Yeah. He wanted her to wait. But I'll. And he wanted her to. I just think about it's like, man, this was, this was, I was in my early 20s.

That was almost 20 fucking years ago. Yeah, yeah. You know, like, and that just will start fucking me up. But the kids are definitely the biggest part of it, again, especially y'all, a big part of it also for me is both of you having babies recently. That also just because my, they don't, you know, they're only every little once. And I know when you're like in it, it feels like sometimes it's like it stresses you the fuck out. Oh my God.

It feels like it stretches on forever, whatever. Like it's cliche. The shit is over in the blink of an eye. And mine will never be little again ever. Not only that. They're only going. You know, Bishop is like way closer to being an adult than he is to being a toddler. Like time wise.

It's about to be fucking puberty and high school and cars and stuff. phones and social media and girlfriends and all this stuff and like all kinds of wacky shit. What kind of car you're going to get him? Something that I mean probably like probably just like I don't know. Something that it statically hits but is safe. I mean, I'm not going,

it ain't going to be nothing. I feel like I pretty much he's 16 year old will fuck a car up. Yeah, no, I know. I probably, if I've still got the Jeep at that time. You don't look like a goober.

I mean, and jeeps, you know, jeeps stay looking pretty good. My Jeep didn't got them paint job or something. Like I'll probably just like give him slash them to Jeep and I'm going myself something that hits. Yeah.

Because I'm an adult. Get a charger. But anyway, they like, and every now and over the year, you'll read some shit, like I'm about to say to y'all. We're having a crisis.

Drew's talking about this. I'm telling you, but you'll read some random shit on internet on fucking Reddit or whatever, some shower thought thing or whatever. They'll pop up every now and then. It just fuck me up. Like, for example,

everyone's like, you know, one day, out of knowing, you don't know what's going to happen. You don't know what's going to happen. But one day, you will put your child on the ground and never pick them up again.

Like that day will come. See, I said that too. I said the same thing. I was like, I'm just going to keep picking them up when they're 10, 11, 12. And every now and then I like grab one of them and just kind of do the like bear hug thing where their feet come off the ground. And then they put like, Jack, Dad, what the fuck? No, no. And they're like.

And I'll be like not today. Not today, baby. But anyway, you know, just shit like that. I mean, I remember when Mike James came to our Zany shows and me and him almost started crying in the green room because his kids were the same way. is mine. We started talking about this. I was like, Jesus Christ, I got to do a fucking stand-up show to me. I'm tearing up back here. But yeah, it'll like, the shit just fucks you up.

It fucked you up. Plus, yeah, and then yes, the career stuff, you know, I mean, like eight years ago, also, you're talking about 30s hit so much harder in 20s. I agree completely. I told my sister that, and Paige was like, okay, but I mean, you were on like Forbes under 30 list when you turn 30 or whatever.

She's like, you know, you're fucking, like your dreams came true at 30. I was like, yeah, and that did hit. You're right. But I'm saying that it's a pretty obvious rationale for why that happens. But at 30, brand new, all this is just brand new. I'm on my way to the moon. This is we're on a fucking rocket ship.

All this potential impossibility. There's no telling myself that anymore. It's like things can still happen. But it's eight years later. And it's like, oh, yeah, no, that rocket never really got off the ground. Yeah, you just like that. It's been in the same life, you know. But like, Paige's point is, is well taken.

But even like my friends who were like attorneys, they loved their 30s because they like had figured out how to be an attorney without wanting to die. And they were, so they weren't afraid to be fired. They were making better money. They had maybe found a life partner. So her point's well taken as far as we're concerned. But I think a lot of people prefer their 30s over their 20s because it was existentially easy. easier, but still fun. I know it sounds like it's something I could just easily say now, but it's genuinely the truth.

Like, I was sincerely getting my head or everything you just said, like, you know, my old job at the DOE, I started that job at 23 or 24 or whatever. And like, from 23 to 30, the whole time I was doing it, I was like, what? I'm not supposed to be doing this shit. I'm supposed to be on magazine covers and whatever. Like, fuck this shit. You know what I mean? Like, this ain't it. This don't hit.

Even though that job really hit, like that was a hit. I know and I'm saying right at 29 right before turning 30, which is when everything took off for me. But at that point in time, I was starting to like get my head around, you know, about that job. And like I was starting to become okay with it, like genuinely okay with it. It wasn't eating away at me inside anymore. Like I started like see a future like, okay, you know what? This can be cool. I can have some money and stability and all this stuff.

And it's, you know, whatever. It'll be like it was starting to. I could see it coming into. focus more as I was approaching 30. But then, you know, during came true and I quit that job and I don't regret that at all. But I'm just saying, I really do think that you're right, Drew. Like, even if that had not happened, I'm pretty sure my 30s would have beaten the shit out of my 20s either way, regardless. But, uh, yeah, you would have probably ended up being a fucking hitting ass politician or some shit like that.

Yeah. Or something. You beat like, dude, if you, if you, you, you know, like Bryce, like, dude, me and Bryce started there at the same time. Bryce is like a departmental director. No, I know. That's what I'm saying. And he's like, yeah. You get way harder than Bryce. And he seems sad as fuck now. Yeah. I love Bryce, but you had ordering him at stuff, like that type of stuff. I assume. Yeah. But anyway, that's neither here nor later. That's water under the bridge.

It's sad that he died. Oh, yeah. I forgot he's dead. All those years ago on a scooter in Denver. Well, we got a lot we could talk about. JD, Jay D. J.D. Vance fucked a couch. I think the Olympics are queer. So,

he didn't, right? He didn't fuck a couch. But also, wait, don't we have a for the record. Real quick. Well,

oh yeah, yeah, we do. Okay. We'll talk about, yeah. J.D. fucking a couch right after this. You know,

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we're back. J.D. Brantz, fucks couches. Yeah, I don't think he did it. Well, listen,

my whole thing with it the whole time is like, I understand why it's funny, and it is funny, and people should keep doing it. People are searching for it. It's funny and all that, but like,

I mean, am I wrong in saying, like, who among us? Right. Well, yeah, as a former teenage boy.

I don't think anyone actually hates the guy. They just think it's funny. It is funny. I agree it is funny, but I just want, I was like, we're all clear, We've all fucked couches and things.

Pillows and, you know, you name it. Dude, when I was nine, I rubbed my dick on a cat, like on it, not in it. Like on it. Well, that's, right. This is yet another time we were doing a thing and then you went. Hold on now. I didn't run over and grab the cat. The cat was up there and I just kind of rolled over and I just kind of just hunched it a little bit.

And I was like, whoa, where are you doing? Oh, God. I got, whoa, whoa, what the fuck are you doing? You know what are you doing? You ask the cat. What are he doing? You ask yourself. I tell you in my heart,

the only part of this I judge you for is that you told us. That's the most respectable part. No, listen to me. It's like, you know how when you're on a bus, like going to the airport and it hits bumps and stuff, and you can't help but kind of get a boner or whatever? It's just that I was laying there and already had a boner. I rolled over and it hit the cat.

I'm nine, right? I rolled over and it hit the cat, and I just kind of gave it the what first? once like ugh and i was like ah you know what i mean like what the fuck i didn't dude i hadn't even jerked off at that book i'd never even jerked off at that point i want to be very clear no one's mad at you for fucking the cat when you were nine we're mad at you that you're like no dude i empathized jd vance one time i

well this whole thing was about you didn't need to tell any i don't care i'm just saying everybody i didn't my dick wasn't out it was in my pants i'm just saying it rubbed against he's had a bone and rubbed up against a cat Every football player on every college football team when they first started actually prosecuting these guys. Nine years old. Okay. Anyways.

But yes, I've also fucked the couch. You put a, you did a Ziploc bag with lotion in it, and you put it between the cushions, and you fucking give it the what, sir. Yeah, say, this is even more elaborate. I've done nasty things. This is not a moral thing. It just never occurred to me. I think this is a Trump thing. I think that.

not us, younger, cooler people, maybe a few millennials, figured out that like, dude, that's, that's the game now. We got a lot of insults. We got to be funnier than them. We got to play dirty. Trump kind of stayed around and maybe one, but definitely stayed around in popularity because he was funny. So we got to be funny.

And it's funnier to talk about people with fucking couches than an end is to talk about how they want to turn the world into some sort of weird novel that's a warning about the future. here's my problem though they say that it was in his book and it wasn't so they're okay but here's my problem it is funny to talk about but that just means that we're guilty of spreading misinformation and I don't fuck with that's what I'm saying that it's true yeah yeah yeah no you're right I'm saying it but I'm like yeah it is yeah it's funny but it Democrats have this thing which again you just alluded to where it's like well if they're going to do it we're going to do it too and it's like

well, then don't get pissed when they do it if you're going to do it. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know. But again, to Trace point, if he did do it, that's fine. Right. But it's like, it's like one of those things that's like we're talking about Burt earlier. We were for a while and he ended up, they ended up pulling back on this because it started to actually bother Burt, I reckon. But for a while there, Tom had gotten this thing going to where like, it was like a running joke.

And I'm sort of doing air quotes. It was a running joke. But people were like, fans of times would be on, on. Burt's pages and stuff and being like, you know, Burt, a lot of people say Burt, Chrysler is the, is the most racist comedian in America or whatever. He like, show up. Yeah, like, you know, this guy's actually

the number one most racist comedian in America. Like, people were saying that like it hits or whatever, but that would happen in context of like people who didn't get the joke and be like, you know, is that really? So tell us about that. You're the most racist comedian. He had to be like, no, it's just a thing that they do, you know. And, and that's

funny too, but it's like everyone knew what was, go. This is like a that type of thing, right? Or is it, or do, or do a lot of these people not realize that it, it ain't actually from the book? Like, do you know what I think? A lot of people playing along all these people or are for sure, but I do still think a lot of people believe that it's true because there's a great many of people who will believe anything that they see on the internet. Such as today, I saw this tweet from Elon Musk, right? who is the king

he's made it his vision to talk about how like there's so much misinformation the Democrats are brainwashed and all that and again I'm not saying that they can't be but he put out this tweet

where there's a screenshot of a Google search and when this screenshot which by the way is just a screenshot that he saw he didn't make that like he just saw this and it's on Google you type in President Donald

and the first two suggestions per this picture that comes up is President Donald Duck or President Donald Reagan. And Elon says, wow, Google has a search ban on President Donald Trump election interference, question mark. I went immediately to Google and typed in president. I didn't even have to type the fucking D. And Donald Trump is the first person, which actually, by the way, that's kind of fucked up because he's not the president. Biden should come up first.

But like, not only is it not true, I didn't even have to get to. to the fucking D. So all these people are quote tweeting Elon just going, God damn Google run by a bunch of fucking Democrats. And I'm like, so when did we stop doing our own research? Because I did and immediately found out that that was fucking horseshit.

So, yeah, I think there's a lot of people that think JD fucked the couch. I was just looking it up to make sure he didn't or see what the deal was. He didn't. Yeah. Of course he did. He's not cool enough to fuck the couch.

I know the thing it came from because, you know, Smart Mark put it. in our group chat being like this hits. But because, you know, Mark's been burned before. We've all synced it. A lot. He won't admit it. Yeah, right.

But it happens. But boomer, he said to any of y'all have a copy of this book. And I was like, I think I'd do somewhere. And he was like, well, you go, well, you look this up. And I, because the guy cited it, he gave the cited pages where this passage is from. And at least it was softback. We don't know what kind of stuff there is.

I didn't tell Mark that. I was like, at least in this like first edition hardcover, like, read the book. I'd remember that. I don't know. I don't think I would. I didn't read the whole thing. The only thing I remember... I'm saying, I don't think he's talking to him about jacking off and being gay.

And it was funny. And then when he brought up checking the cash, that was like when... I remember that too. Yes. When I was like, wait a minute. Right. I'm saying, I don't think I would remember from a book I read eight years ago

if somebody in it said when I was a teenager, I fucked the couch. I do not think I'd remember that. I'm going to forget. You said you fucked a cat in like two hours. I would remember it just because we know the guy. That's the only reason why. I mean,

I just assume every man I know has fuck some kind of couch or couch adjacent thing. You know what I'm saying? I'm not saying. I'm not saying, if Thompson told me like, hey, you know, I fucked the couch once. I'd be like, yeah, sure. No, no, no. I'm not saying that if you asked me to give bullet points of his book that I could do that. I'm just saying that when I started seeing this, I think that my brain would go,

yeah, that was in the book. I remember that. When you were a teenager, you were never like laying. face down on a couch, you get a boner. Face down ass up? Because Zena Warrior Princess is on. And you start, and you start gyrating because that's just

what happens. Next thing, you know, you have fucked the couch. That's the kind of thing I'm talking about. I'm not talking about like light and candles and like fucking romantic wax romancing your couch. You're not making love to you. You're like, damn, I just fuck that to an ottoman. Yeah, right.

You got to put your dad. Get permission first. I hump the floor and kindergarten. I remember getting in trouble for it. So I definitely, but I don't remember humping the couch, but I believe you. Like, I know what you mean and probably. I definitely remember humping stuff, but not the completion. Hold on. In kindergarten, when you were, quote,

humping the floor, were you humping it knowingly in a sexual act, or were you doing like a dance that just looked like? It felt good, but I don't know it, but I don't know that it felt good in a sexual way. Right. It's just like. Rubbing your dick on stuff hits. Right. Right. It's so hard. does, yeah. It's the best thing, honestly, ever.

Opposite of 9-11. You ever think about how apparently if you're circumcised, it feels like half as good as it should? Yes, me and Amber had this argument, and I think you know why. Do you think people who get circumcised cheat more? Because they have to. Because it feels so good. Because it feels so good that if their relationship hits a spot where the sex reduces, they're missing something even more.

me and you are. Right. No, that's... Oh. Because if what they say about an uncircumcised penis is true, I mean, dude, because we're talking about like thousands upon thousands of nerve endings and shit like that. Sure, but in a place where there's millions. There's a big debate on how much you actually lose. Well, right, I know, but I've seen both sides of it where some people are like, it's fucking, it's a lot, you know, and I'm like, if that is true, I just cannot imagine what that bus must be like because my bus pretty good bus i don't feel like i need to feel too much more frankly uh you know what well because we're talking no time we're talking you know right what i mean five

times better i wouldn't even get all the way up in i don't yeah i don't think it's better in that it's stronger i think that it's a bigger area you know how like there's a spot that feels good i think it just it feels like a bigger spot that's my theory on it because here's the thing this doesn't have to be hypothetical there are plenty of cultures where people get circumcised at like 18 there's got to be more than one dude there's got to be right thousands upon thousands of dudes who have come before and after right and it probably also depends on who did it dude we got to get one of on the podcast yeah how do we do that the only places i know that that happens that i know personally in the world is certain tribes in South Africa

I guess we can try to get them on the pod Some of them have had They've gotten internet Because they got addicted to porn And ruin their lives and stuff Yep You'd have to jacking off with the uncircumcised dicks, dude Yeah

And you would have to absolutely Strap me to a table With a gun to my head To cut my dick when I was a grown-ass man Yeah, don't hit Don't hit They didn't even put them under, dude No

I mean if you're seeing other shit They've been doing something like I think it's also A South American tribe You don't know what bullet ants are yes they call them they call them bullet ants because they say that getting bit by one of them one of them by you it feels like a gunshot wound that's how bad it hurts that's what they say and like they make these homemade mittin things that completely encompass your hands

and they just stuff those mittens full of bullet ants just a whole just a big ass glove of ants and then the day you come of age the day you become a man so i think it's like 15 16 17 something like that. They shoved their hands in these gloves and seal it off and they have to keep their hands and not that, then bullet ant mittens for like, I don't know, an hour or two hours, something like that. And they're a man after that. And there's been Edward 40 hands over here when we become a man. That hits way harder. There's been some of these like crocodile hunter type dudes, you know, that are out there now. I think one of them's named coyote, coyote something another. Of course. That's a great name. These guys will go to, uh, you know,

You know, like, you know what I mean, like nature travel dock type journalist dudes. They'll go do the challenge. And I've seen like a white guy, like an Australian probably. Like, I'll take the insol. Do that one? Yeah. And I mean, he about, I mean, he was crying.

Like he was on the ground writhing and crying and said that he'd never felt anything like in his entire life. Did he make it the whole time? I can't remember if he made it the whole. Oh, he actually put the mitts on. He didn't just get stung by one. He didn't. No, he put the fucking, no, he put the mitts on.

yeah. That's how good we got it, dude. Yeah, that ain't it. One of them fellas, I think it's old coyote something another. Like, he's got a whole, he's like actively going around the world trying to get stung by all the things that hit the least to get stung by. Dude. That's his like mission in life, or at least that's part of it.

I mean, if he's making good money doing it, it's like, I guess I get it. But like, just do just do something different. Bruh. I mean, he's been stung by. the desire for fame or something. That dude's, that's a messed up part. That's legitimately mental illness. No, I know, because I feel like people who like just, you know, video themselves eating

Carolina Reapers and stuff, like, I think that's insane. And this is several steps beyond that. See, like, you could pay me enough money to eat one Carolina Reaper. And, I mean, I know it wouldn't hit. I don't go away. I mean, I guess there's a, I guess I'm sure everybody's got, everybody's got the price. But yeah, yeah, the number that it would take for me to even get stunned by one of those bulletins.

The mits? Way, way higher than eating one Carolina. Of course, you could pay me an amount to do it. But this guy had to come up with the idea, do it on faith that the money would come. You sit like, I'm sorry, I think that's a mental. What about these? I would genuinely rather be shot through the shoulder than put those mitts on. Do you all know?

Yeah, so I just Googled like the pain index for stings for, you know, things that can stain you or bite you in the world. And the bulletin is listed as number one, like, period. Yeah, so being shot through the shoulder would literally hurt less than a mitt full of bullet ants. So, do y'all know about this, I think it's called like gilly-gilly or something like that, plant in a, or go-gou-gou-gou-gou-i or something. I've heard of this. In Australia, it's a plant, and it looks like, it looks nondescript as hell. Can you pull it up?

It looks like any kind of, I'm trying to find the, uh, trying to get-guy-gimpy, gimpy. Gimpy. Gimpy, gimpy. Oh, yeah, I know about Gimpy Gimpy. Yeah, and it's like, it's got these little... I was thinking about gilly suits. It's got these little hairs on its leaves that you can't even see. And if you just brush by the leaf with your hand, the hairs get embedded in your skin.

And it hurts, like, bullet ant style hurts and shit. Like, they call it the suicide plant because there's been people and animals both who have accidentally, like, walked through a gimpy, gimpy bush. And then just went and dove off like there. Like there's been examples of, like, what's the word, not recorded examples of like horses who accidentally got into some gimpig gimpi and then just went and just dove off a cliff and just killed themselves because it like hurt so bad. And this is that I'm out. Yeah, I shared. Wow, bro. Now that I saw, I shared a video of a, it was like a rhinoceros jumping off a cliff that he clearly knew was there.

You know, he was committing suicide. I don't know if he brushed up against that stuff. only said that to say that I lost like a thousand followers for sharing that video and now that I'm thinking about it's like he probably brushed up against some gimp-a-gimpy. Well, I think gippe how many times if you pissed people

off with some video about an animal? I know you've done it more than once because I know you shared that video I sent to you or that dude throwing that baby bear off a clip. And that hit so hard. Not the baby bear died. What you said about it was great. Yes. Yeah. They don't even know that the

fucking baby bear died. They don't know how bad. today. Oh, yeah? In your yard? And my neighbor's yard. That don't hit. Black bear? That kind of hit.

It kind of hit by me. Yeah, it was Black Bear. Yeah. Well, it hits to see. If it is the Grizzly and I've been talking to you guys on the group chat all day and hadn't said it. How mad would go out. Oh, yeah. That would hit for me.

Black bears, they just, they'd be old. They're around. You would go up in my fucking respect. Yeah. Like, skittish dogs. So Black Bear's, like, totally fine. Because I don't tell you stuff all the time. And then you get mad when you feel.

find out. What did you say about black bears? Yeah, that's true. So, I know that black bears are like way less dangerous than Grizzlies, but are you suggesting that like it's just totally fine? I mean, that, unless there's something wrong, unless it's like desperate, starving, wounded,

something like that, like, if everything's normal with a black bear, yeah, it ain't going to fuck with you. I mean, a mom black bear. It's going to mess up your stuff. Yeah, right. I'm going to get a black bear. Yeah, they are cool. I'm sure y'all seen that famous viral video. little country girl standing right by a black bear going,

can I pet that dog? Yes. In that video? Pet that dog. But the original, it's a bear. It's funny. The original, can I pet that dog video? I've, at the time, had never loved anything more than that.

Hold on. Is this little girl in the bear, not the original pet the dog video? No, it's a little boy. It's a little boy. Hold on. Let me, y'all continue to talk. I won't pull it up because it'll hit for you. I think you're going to remember it when you see it, Trey.

Or at the very least, you've heard the sound be on other videos. That's what it was, was that sound was probably just, put over that. I'm about to be mad if that's true. Well, you'll be mad, but when you see this, you've never seen it, it's going to rule for you. Oh, yeah, dude, it's awesome. Especially the last part, which we haven't said yet, so we haven't ruined.

Well, hang on, let me, but while he's doing that, yeah, let me do this. You're going to pull the girl up? Yeah. Y'all ain't ever seen this one before, so you see that better. Yeah, I think I have. Can I paint that door? No, no.

Yeah, that's not real. No, he's freaking. That ain't real, Trey. I'm sorry. Yeah, I hate to tell you, but... That little girl really did want to pet that bear clearly if they put the original sound over it. Yeah, this is the... So that's the sound?

Yeah. Yeah, this is the original. Okay. Can I pick that dog? No. Can I pick that dog? No. Can I pick that door?

No, he's sleeping. Can I pick that door? Okay. Wait, wait. Can I put that door! Do you. can go to sleep. No, I can't go to see because I need

talk to face it back dog and I'm doing it right now. No. Tell me that little boom how it won't hit. I see where they cut it because it wouldn't have made sense on your video, but no, I can't go to sleep because I just want to pet that dog. Yeah, no, I'm definitely saying that.

When he goes, can't affect that dog. Like, just, I'm, I find it Maryucci, the internet for doing this type of stuff where it's like, I don't know. Sometimes it hits, but it's also like, but it, I don't know. It hits if you,

it doesn't hit when what happened to you just happens, when you find out. But it hit like for me who I saw the original first. I've definitely seen that video too. I've seen the one, I guess it's where I'm at. I've seen the clip of the girl with the bear way more times than I've seen that one,

but I have seen that one though. When I saw, I saw that, when I saw the girl with the bear, I didn't even remember that I had seen the first one. before. If I've seen the original video of something and then someone reappropriates it for a funny situation, it hits for me because I have the original context, but yes, it does suck to find that what I

if I thought something was the original and then it was a lie. That don't hit for me. I hate being a victim of fraud. I just wish there was something I don't know. That they was more about like, I don't know, more part of the culture of the internet for people to just say when they do something like that. And you know what I mean? Like that thing Mark threaded the other day about those

fuck Joe Biden shirts or whatever. And it was an Amazon review from like a Trumper who was like, and it's like, you know, like, I mean, that ain't real. That's just somebody. That's just somebody hitting. But like you were saying earlier with the,

what was the other Democrat thing? Oh, JD fucking a couch. Yeah. But it's like gets passed around all over the place. And a bunch of people. just like, you know, think that it's totally, it's a funny joke to do, like, as a comedian, the bit hits for me. Right.

But I don't like that anyone doesn't realize that it is a bit, though. Yeah. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, it's fine to do a bit, but it should be clear that it's a bit. And people like buying it for real. Well, the reason. I don't like. Well, people won't do that because they know that their engagement will be better if people do think

it's real. I know. You know. It's that. But also. a lot of times you assume, I think, that people will know it's a joke. Dude, that's why I started that.

Go ahead. I was going to say, too, though, with the overlay thing, most of the time, not always, most of the time, you can tell it's not the original sound, because it'll elude it. You just got to go look for it. Right, it'll have it at the top. Although, I don't know if that's always true, because it depends on how they record it. It's not sometimes.

People lie, dude. I don't know. But that's literally why, in my gerrymander videos, after about the second or third one, I started putting a fart noise in every single one of them because even though, in my opinion, it is insane for anyone to think that they were real. Because, like, yes, I agree. Republicans say crazy things, but, like, mine were crafted jokes.

They don't say jokes. They just say mean things. You know what I'm saying? And so everyone was thinking it was real. And I, too, like you, I'm like, I don't like it when people don't admit that it's a bit or whatever. I'm not trying to trick people. I'm trying to make people laugh. So I added a fart, so it's like, all right.

Right. I guess that's a good point. Meaning, like, like, Drew just said, people think, like, to me, those gerrymandered videos you make, it's like, in my head, I'm like, yeah, you shouldn't have to explicitly state. This is fake anywhere in the video

because it should just be clear, but people are dumb enough to not understand. I mean, you know, so many. Like, yeah. Democrats, by the way. It's a generational thing to a certain extent. Remember I told you all, Demand M'Am on Dien Demand would get mad at the sonic commercials?

Yeah. I mean, this is why Mark falls for stuff all the time. You know what I mean? Same reason. Boomer Howard. Same reason. He got to make my hand-dance to have autism. Yeah. I got to go soon because Andy has a meeting.

I've got to like take over. We got to have a. Amber just brought my baby up here. Yeah. Well, that's what Andy should have done. I should have to bring this baby up here. You all want to see him? Yeah.

Okay, cool. Hold on. Hey, bud. Do. Well, this is dead. there. Yes, it is. I'm still trying to decide how I feel about the pet and the dog thing.

Like the people that did it. Because you're right. That little girl definitely wanted to pet that bear. Yeah, for sure. So, you know, I like buying. Look at the baby blue. What a cute fucking baby.

Look at those eyes. I know, everybody. There's some striking blue eyes. He's a handsome fuck, ain't he? My baby got striking blue eyes too. I thought that was supposed to go away. They do. I mean, they still might.

I don't, I don't remember what age it happens at, but I mean, yeah, I mean, I reckon. I'm sorry. I meant in the world. Oh, no. You know,

I mean, all white babies is born with blue eyes, right? Or, I mean, right? At least the vast majority of them are. Yeah, I thought it was like the first six months. I don't know what the timeline is for when they change. I don't know. I just know that.

And mine go back and forth, depending on what shirt I'm wearing. So he's got a chance. Yeah. I think he's past the window. but maybe I'm wrong, but I thought when we was growing up, we learned about recessive genes. They told us, yeah. Blue eyes would go away.

Well, Andy's family has green, like hazel, brown, and yellow eyes. Why did my eyes win? My eyes were in there whipping her eyes ass. Yeah, no, it says that, hold on, well, we'll go back to that in a second. It says that it can be typically during the first year of life. However, some, some baby's eyes may continue to change color up until three years old. Most children by the age of six have the color eyes they're going to have. Anyway,

I'm going to be furious just because it's one of the few things I have on this kid. Who's got her dick? Whose eyes is what color? Mine are blue. They're just dark. And they're set. And he's, he's got one of those pictures made

like hyper close up of our eyes. I wish I had it. I'd just show you guys. Hers are, it's like a ring of brown with a bright spark of yellow. Yeah. Hazel. Is hazel from a distance?

When you get up close, it's brown with yellow. As I understand it, if, so you, you have blue eyes, which means that you ain't got nothing but blue eye jeans to give. Because that's the only way you can have blue eyes. But she has brown mostly, but she could also have blue eye jeans, but not have blue eyes. So she could have given him a blue eye gene. You necessarily gave him a blue eye gene. And then he ended up having blue eyes. But if she gave him one of her brown eye jeans,

then his blue eyes will go away, I think. Well, if she gave him a brown eye gene, I'm going to give her a black eye gene. And on that, I am out of here. Hey, put this in our idea folder. Hazel from a distance sounds like a great indie film about a mamaw. Hazel from a distance, yeah. Or a portrait.

A documentary. A documentary nasal from a distance. It's just like a telescopic lens. through a beauty shop. Yeah, right. Or onto a porch. Just an old lady rocking. Yeah.

On the porch. Plug your shit, boy. Oh, yeah. Okay, let's see. This weekend I'll be in the greater metropolitan area of Fort Wayne, Indiana. My first time in your fair city. Should hit. Hope it hits.

It does hit. Hope y'all come. Make sure it hits. Fort Wayne this weekend. The next weekend, Dallas, Texas. And unless anything changes, Dallas, I'm going to be filming, though. shows.

Nice. Definitely come, but also be good when you do come, please. Be on your best behavior. Youngs are normally pretty cool. So it should be fun. All of those are at traycrouter.com, and I got a million other dates coming up after that, too.

Add it hot and heavy, so come see me. Hey, listen to our other podcast, putting on airs, listen to Gravy Baby, listen to Weekly Skews. And announcement, I just signed an exclusive deal with Hero Hero. They are like Patreon, but from Europe. Now, I'm one of their first American clients.

So you can join me on Hero Hero for my bonus, as much as I hate this word, content by going to we love Corey.com. If you're already on my substack, by the way, you would have got an invite to get a discount. But if not, go to we love

Corey.com. Correct me. Is we love Corey? Is that a new one? It's a new one. Okay. How many have you been on? How many are you up to now. But this is a completely different site. But how many domains do I own? Yeah. 30, 35. But are you not trying to like drive people to, uh, you know, like both or whatever? Like if you go to we love Corey.com, this is just for hero, hero, it's not for your other stuff.

I have an exclusive deal with them right now. Substack can still exist, but no longer will there be the paid stuff on there. It's just the stuff I put out for free. So no, I'm trying to drive people to hero, hero. Okay. Like, yeah. But I just, it's just, it is a funny to me, ongoing running gag that is not purposefully a gag that every two to three months or so, your URL changes. But the bit was that. Corey writes for you, part-time funny, man. I hear you.

I know there's been at least one or two more besides just that bonus Corey.com. Bonus Corey.com. But the running bit was that they were new domains that went to the same place. This is a different website. So it is a little, like I hear you, but it is a little. But no, dude, my fucking GoDaddy portfolio. is insane. And by the way, I say portfolio because, like, I'm a, I'm a trader, dude.

See, I was, that's also funny because I picture you at, like, at some dinner with some, like, Wall Street Bros or something, bragging about your GoDaddy portfolio. Do you know what I mean? Like, speaking of portfolios, I have a pretty extensive variety of domain names. I've been sitting on for a while now. I do. Appreciating and value. They are.

I currently have one. I currently have one that I got for $11. It is worth $7,000 right now. So suck my dick. Okay, yeah. Me and the Wall Street bros both. All right. Well, thank y'all for watching.

I ain't getting upset. He is. Everybody knew him, but I could get away with a lot too because people knew him. Like, I should have gotten a DUI probably 15 times at least. Is that the extent of what you did to take advantage or was there ever some like super that you were like, I can do this because my daddy is this. Oh, one time we got, me and some friends in high school got pulled over, we had a bunch of weed on us, not a small amount.

And I thought it was used to back to say we burned a girl one time. I did burn a girl with baby oil in the sun one time. I told her, we told her that you can't get burnt with it. More. I know it's really bad. It was really bad. She got third-degree burns and had to leave the wake. Jesus.

What do you have against her? Did she have it coming? Man, I had to sleep in the truck because she was my cousin. Hun, look at me. I tell you that I got the brining all the time. I look directly in this eyes and I was like, she has burned a person. I knew it. I knew it.

Through the internet, I felt a connection that she had burned a lady. I did. Yep. Certainly did. Putting on airs.