wellRED podcast - WellRED Podcast Throwback: The Great Dinosaur Feathers Fight!

Episode Date: May 28, 2025

The boys were all out of town this week so we are throwing up one of our most popular episodes. If you've never heard it, prepare to experience Trae madder than youve ever heard him before! TraeCrowder.com  CoreyRyanForrester.com DrewMorganComedy.com WeLoveCorey.com

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion, because you used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie. I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now. Skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people. People across the ske universe, I should say. Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year?

Do you even know? Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery? Getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low main? Because that's a thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better. and it's called Rocket Money.

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They're the. Hey everybody. It's your boy Cory Ryan Forster. This is a classic episode. Me and the boys couldn't get together this week, but this is a dozy. For those of you that have never heard this episode, it's one of our most talked about. One of the ones that I think about all the time that makes me laugh. This is the famous feathered dinosaur argument that we had that is absolutely the most that we've ever heard, Trey, get worked up in our lives. I cut the old intro out because I didn't want to confuse anybody.

So this is the coming out, May 28th, 2025. So you're hearing me live. I just wanted to say, go to Corey Ryan Forrester.com to get tickets to see me, Drew Morgan Comedy.com for tickets to see Drew and Trey Crowder. com for tickets to see tray we're all everywhere in and places that are fun i'll be in fort worth texas soon as like i said cori ryanforster dot com for those tickets also if you want my bonus stuff go to we love cori dot com i'm smack dab in the middle of a new thing i created called public domain sleepy time theater where i read you a story uh to help you go to sleep and we're on chapter 12

of mark twain's the adventures of tom sawyer it's a lot of fun you can get it all at we love corrie Other than that, listen to putting on airs, listen to Gravy Baby, listen to Weekly Skews. We appreciate you. Sorry we couldn't be together this week, but I think most of you will enjoy this classic episode, even if you have heard it, and for those of you that haven't heard it, boy, you're in for a treat. Back in the old days when we were drunk as shit on tour together in the same hotel room,

getting noise complaints. All right. Enjoy. Love you. Bye. Well, well, well. You lovely human who tries his best. best.

Okay. Thank you for that. Would you say? Here we are. Yeah, here we are. That's what I said. We're here in San Jose. Go sharks.

Go sharks. Oh, they don't have. Spin for St. Jose. Sharks is wild, dude. So like, sharks, hold up. Do you know, no, you hold up. You hold up.

Do you know that sharks are older than trees? Sharks have been around longer than trees. Is that not even... Is that true? Yes. Yes, that's true. It kind of don't hit for me. That's a bit much.

What do you mean? Sharks have gone too far. They've jumped themselves. I love that literally the first thing that Sharks ever did was them going too far. Yes. Like, they just... Listen. Let me put some on the table here.

When you max out your level, you stop leveling up. I know that. And they stopped leveling up a fucking billion years ago. This is no disrespect to sharks. You can't have. hit no harder than a shark has over the course of time. Right. But me learning right now that they're older than the trees has just pissed me off. They hit harder than tree. Bullshit. Hey. Evolutionarily speaking,

they hit harder than trees. And I even want, yes, they do. We have to see what ends up going on with the trees to know the answer to that. Trees are just younger. That's like saying, like, you know, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I ain't never right. I mean. I never seen a motherfucker make a cup out of shark. You know what I'm saying? they probably do in Japan in China yeah that's true I like everything got a shark over there Hey man can I get one more of them

Sharks have pissed them off Can I eat another one of them little weed things Okay Eat one of them weight gummies something That's why I went to get the motherfuckers I've never had these before Like these are neat Like we stay eating like

Kind of similar gummies But like these are the cutest gummies on earth They're like so tiny And like Yes They look like My very Very white wife

Found those Pinterest pintistry ass gummies. Thank you, Katie. Remember that weed ad we saw today? Weed dad? Weed dad.

Weed dad. Weed dad. Weed ad? Oh, weed ad. Goat. Yeah, it was a goat. It was some kind of goat brand weed, which I get it,

goats eat weed. But it had hot girls to. If I'm not mistaken, it was called Ignite. It was. Which would imply that their marketing is effective. Yes. Because I remember that.

So, right. And I remember everything about the ad. But what to me was creepy was, was it was goats which weed goats i get it and then it was hot girls and the subtext of that billboard to me was looking like she was about to fuck that goat yeah no i saw that and i felt that too i understand feeling that but i personally i think that's a byproduct of we think a woman's gonna fuck anything if she's in an ad yes that and also from their perspective you know what we need a hot bitch with some tetties.

Right. You know, and our mascot is a goat. So we'll have a goat and a hot chick and that'll hit. I agree. That's the extent of it. I don't think they went beyond that too. I completely agree that was their plan when they dreamed up the ad. But somewhere among the photographer or the model, did you see how she was looking at that goat?

Yeah. And that was on purpose. But that's how she's been. taught to look as a model. I know. Right. That's how she's been taught to look at everything as a model. They make the fuck me eyes to everything.

But today, it was at or around a goat. Yeah. Yeah. Well, anyway, the ocean's wild. I can't get over sharks, man. Look, son, our pap-paws ain't wrong about everything. I've been saying it. I've been saying it.

What are they right about in this context? Just that California's, you know, people will be fucking goats. in California. I don't know how many times I heard my Papal say. I was like, don't you go out to California. Everybody out there is his fucking goats. Yeah, that was news.

That was one of his number one says. It was like all the time. Yeah. Swayka. Hey, go get me some milk. Oh, good. You don't go out there to California. Yeah.

They're fucking goats. You don't be a goat fucker. Go out there to California. Funny, man. I'm sorry. I definitely heard that. Real quick. If you want to be a goat fucker.

Talking about Papal's perceptions of California. Katie, my wife has a Papal perception. She has a... Coming soon to Fox. Great grandfather. That does sound like a soap opera. Papal's Perceptions.

A... Pup, pahaw. They're all full of shit. And this dude... Like, I respect this guy automatically because this dude literally fought the Nazis. Right. He has war medals from fighting the Nazis. He's a...

Nazi fighter. World War II hero. Right. But he also, born and raised his whole... life in Waynesboro, Tennessee. And we were there. So he's just wanting to fight anybody. So we were there over the holidays.

The Nazis is just who showed up that day. They just were in the way. We were there over holidays. Anytime the boys, you know, we take the boys to go see grandma and stuff in Waynesboro, they always have to go to the old folks home to see Papa Odle. That's his name. Oddle? Oddle?

Oddle from Wayne County? Papa Odle, yeah. And he's a... You mean to tell me, Odle from Wayne County, has some arrest and views? 98 or 99 years old and when we got there like

there ain't no difference he didn't recognize Katie or whatever and so he can't hear shit and he can't because he can't hear shit he can't talk to intimate his opinions on things so people write him notes and he responds

to the written so there's like a dry race board you can't talk to him you have to write a note on the have you ever drawn a swast I said So, that's how you communicate with this guy. And again, I got all the respect to the world for him. We were there.

We walked in, and he didn't recognize Katie or us at all. The man's 99 years old. He doesn't recognize a lot of people. That's fine. But because he didn't recognize us, Katie's sister got the whiteboard that you write shit on and wrote,

you know this is Katie you remember or no she was like okay I fucked it up before getting the whiteboard because he didn't recognize Katie they got this photo album out

and this guy in his regular life who's a carpenter a woodworker and Katie's sister pulled out this picture of her and her sister when they were like 10 years old when they were little girls standing in his workshop, you know, with all his woodworking shit around them.

But the only people in it are Katie and her sister. And so he didn't recognize Katie or us or whatever. And so her sister gets this picture and pulls it out and puts it in front of him to remind him. And she puts this picture in front of him of her and her sister when they're 10 years old in his woodworking shop. And she goes, oh, you don't remember Kate? Look, look at this. She puts it in front of him and he goes, them,

them, them two, them too, them too little, them two little tables won me first prize at the woodland and I died. I, like,

I was, I was over in the corner just losing my shit. Like, you just found out, your step pat-paw is Ron Swanson. he didn't even acknowledge their existence in the picture. Like they weren't even there. Them two tables won me first prize and I just fell out.

That's so fucking fun. And Katie's sister wrote on the thing. He was like, okay, but who are the girls in the picture? And then he was like, oh, that's Katie and Kerry. Some bitches in the way of my art. Yeah. It fucking killed me, man. That's fucking crazy.

I remembered that story halfway through. Yeah. And it's still super hit for me. But before I remember the end, I was hoping that that was going was like, so he wrote we wrote Trey on the board or California and he just wrote gay. No, that basically happens, but it's not gay. Is it no? It's crazy.

It's crazy. He called you crazy? Me and Katie and California and everything related to that is crazy. It's crazy. yes that yeah that's what he says the guy who can't remember anyone's face has called you crazy love it right but again he fought the nazis so you know yeah let's give him one it's okay for him to hate everyone else yeah for sure but um yeah well we're gonna talk about animals animals we were gonna we were gonna talk about animals well i wanted to smoke weed and talk about animals but we only could eat weed mine which means in 30 minutes this podcast is about to get get lit as a motherfucker. Yep. What is, you can just nominate one.

I'll let you go first, Trey. What's the craziest animal? If somebody says your animal, you can say that was it, but this is my other nomination. Okay, well, I was going to say, I feel, y'all are not going to be surprised by my answer, but for me, it's octopodes, octopuses, octopies, octopies, octopies, octopi. It's octopi. It's an, an octopus is, in my opinion, the craziest animal. But in an octopus acephalopithe?

It is. It is. But so is a squid. And squids are nuts, but not quite as wild as octopus according to Trey, I think. For sure. No, no, no, I'm not saying that. Squids got ink. They'll ride on you, dude.

You told me that earlier that they were of equal intelligence or whatever. And I just found that out. Right. Well, me too when you told me that. So all I said was, oh, shit, really? So I'm not, you know, I ain't, I hate on squids. I just didn't know that. they were on the same level as octopi they think i mean you know how do you measure the intelligence

right of a sea creature but they have similar size brain similar size brain to body ratio and similar central nervous system what i've always heard about octopi is that they're very smart but their lifespan is two to three years why and if they live smart enough to kill themselves yeah right i guess yeah but if they if octopi if octopi live to be you know how easy if octopi live to be 40 or 50 like parrots and dumbass humans do then you know who knows what they would be capable of is what i've always heard uh so that's why they are on well they ain't capable of shit they can't even stay alive dumb fucking octopause i mean yeah right or do they not want to be alive for sure well that was the first respect i was putting i know i and i'm kind of thinking that like they're like this

is enough well like like a human at a hundred who's just given up the statistics of people who killed themselves and people within the, like, higher echelon of IQ, a lot of times, smart people kill himself. You know, that's like kind of a myth, though, because if you kill yourself, they just give you 10 points on an IQ. Right. Right. He's like, he must have been smart. He's out. We thought he was a one, I don't know, 140.

He's 150. Yeah. I don't know. What's your answer, Drew? Well, what, something's going, Nat can't get in here. Nat's trying to get in here, but she can't get in. No, fuck her. Let's try.

It's jelly fit. I'm back in the ocean. Jellyfish are infinite years old. They could live forever. That's what I was going to say. Jellyfish have no brain and they never die. They're like a Republican senator. You know what I'm saying?

It's just like, get the fuck out! What are you doing? You ain't got no brain. But like, that's insane. They're literally immortal creatures, the jellyfish. Yeah, they're biologically immortal. They don't. You know what else is like lobsters.

Lobsters are also biose. Bullshit. Shut the fuck up. They don't make no sense. They're biologically immoral. Because they have a digestive system and the jellyfish have a very different one. Lobsters do not die of old age. They die from when we decide that they hit.

Like, have we ever waited on one, no? Most of them is. I feel like a motherfucker was studying lobster. He got to be 80 and was like, fucking, I'm eating his ass. Yeah. But, not. But yeah, they don't die of natural causes. That's so funny.

Like fucking eating a 90-year-old lobster. I can't take it no more. Yeah. are you're blowing my mind no you because the jellyfish thing is crazy but they have such they're such they ain't nothing i mean right that's what i mean lobsters ain't nothing either i guess but they got eyes brains jellyfish digestive system jellyfish ain't nothing they literally aren't they literally aren't they literally aren't if you have poop inside you you shouldn't live forever right jellyfish is just go like a lobster is at least a fucking like thing that has they got livers yeah i mean they got stuff

what's your answer joe man I'll be honest with you. I was going to say jellyfish, but like, for real dog, like, the thing that, like, fucks me up the most is ants. Like, ants are crazy to me. Like, you send these motherfuckers that, like, they go to an ant hill and they, like, drop all the, the metal or the fucking, and they, like, pull up the ant colony.

Like, the fact that these motherfuckers are doing their shit and, like, they communicate telepathically. That's the thing that, like, the scientists have said, like, ants. Hive by. hive mine ship they have a hive mine so they got like they're all basically the same brain right much right right which is why which is why ant man in marvel worked that shit's correct but like they are like they've got a queen bee or whatever the fuck it is of ants a queen aunt and then these motherfuckers just like they all move within one brain to make this fucking society and then when you fucking pour was is it concrete or what was it they pour into them the the ant the ant hills. Like, they pour,

they pour shit in there and they pull the ant hills up and they pull it up. Aluminum. It's aluminum. They pour aluminum in there and they pull these ant colonies up and they've got like fucking little hideouts. They've got separate rooms. They've built all this shit. That shit.

And also, molten aluminum down into ant holes. Yeah. We're so fucked up. Oh, we don't hit. But like, we found out about these ants and like,

they're creating colonies that we could never even conceive of. And like, they got their own rooms and shit and like that. But, like, yeah, they're all one. Sometimes this kind of stuff straight up blows my mind. And it is mind-going. And sometimes I'm like, we just want to be impressed. Like, we're looking at, like, look, the aunt's got a two-bedroom apartment.

I can't even afford that. They're geniuses. Rome hit, you know. Yeah, Rome did hit. I agree with that. But, like, the fact that they're little tiny bugs doing that shit. And they also can lift 10 times their own body weight. That's something.

Like, can you have fucking imagined that? Like, that's like, that's literally us lifting a goddamn car. But dude, but look, every head must bow every tongue must profess. We are the baddest motherfuckers this ever. Without a doubt. I know. I think it's sharks. They'll outlives.

For real? Not real. No. You ever seen a shark pulled meat? Like, every now and then, some motherfuckers get eaten by sharks, but not as much as a motherfucker catches a shark. Okay, but like, here's what I'm saying. This is, this is true of other animals, but not all of them.

we ain't going to make it and we're going to kill ourselves and like lines be doing that like they'll eat up their food supply but like a lot of animals won't okay but we are also undeniably the pinnacle of evolution on this planet

of life on this planet after hundreds of millions of years sharks ain't got no prints they ain't got no podcasts we are the pinnacle of that and what's that could go either way what's so fucking crazy about that is we destroy other life everywhere we go. You know what I mean?

Like we're like a virus for the earth. Yes. But at the same... This just became a Joe Rogan podcast. Right. Right. But at the same time, we are... We're the only...

We're the only thing life on earth has for chronicling itself. Right. analyzing itself. Like, we, we're the pinnacle and the, like, the fucking... The worst. You think, like, at the same time.

That's fucking crazy, man. It is, man. You think that, like, amongst sharks... I agree completely. Yes, I'm high. Yes. Yeah, he's high. It's a high thought.

But, like... It's real. It's wild, man. Do you think, like, amongst sharks, there's sharks that are like, that's the Christopher Nolan of sharks. It's got to be the great white. You know, but, like,

Like, well, that's just, that's a species of, like. Oh, no, that's the hammerhead. You said Christopher Nolan. Right, but I'm saying, like, you know, we, I don't know what I'm saying, but like, there's, you know what I'm saying? Nope. You mean, like, like, there's some sharks. They're in the same area.

Is they a hand? That one right there eats the most, and this food farts a lot. I'm saying, that one's weird, but he's entertaining. No, I'm saying, do you think there's an ant that hits for ants? Yes. You know what I mean? Like, they're like, you ever see the Woody Allen cartoon? Yeah, it was fucking great.

Ants? Yeah. But, like, do you just. think that really exists where it's like this ain't here no i mean yeah no i mean maybe no it does but it's the it's their queen well that's why we hit harder because there's monkeys do that though there's funny monkeys oh by the way monkeys is wild too if we want to get into that shit there's funny monkeys there's like an apes and chimpanzees there's like

ones that are funny to the other ones then mother like there are entertaining ones they got they chimp's got comedian what's them motherfuckers in uh in in a planet of the apes they got they flat-ass face, them monkeys. You know what I'm talking about? I think those are chimpanzees. Is that chintang? No, orangutan. Oh, yeah.

They got their, fucking, they face looks like a fucking avocado dip station. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yes. Like, that's crazy a shit. It looks like a bowl.

And they, but they all be hanging out. They do. They get drunk. Ever seen that? A lot of, dude, a lot of animals get drunk. At the Amarillo tree. They eat fermented fruit. Fruits fall off of trees and they ferment.

They ferment. And a lot of, a lot of different animals. eat those fruits to get drunk. Have you ever seen a drunk giraffe? I mean, no, but... Wait, for real, this is a thing? It's a deer on stil.

It's drunk. Yeah, they eat the Amarillo trees, and they get hammered drunk. I'm going to show you all video in a minute. I wanted to tell you something about lobsters. There's a theory on them. Okay. They don't know how long they would last. Most of them do die when they change, when they shell molt, when they get a new shell,

which is technically natural causes, but if they can survive that, like what you were saying is true, and the theory is the longevity may be due to, I don't know if I'm saying this right, telomerase an enzyme that repairs repetitive sections of DNA sequences at the end of chromosomes referred to as telomeres. That's the fountain of youth.

Lobster's got it? Is that what I'm reading? I mean, is that how you're in terms? It repairs DNA. That's your body healing itself. That's why they shit tastes so fresh. You know what I mean? Like no matter how old they are, they taste fresh.

All this basically comes down to, there's so much we don't understand about anything. Life. Like what makes life life, life. But one thing we know for sure is that it, life at any level, like even like single cell bacterium stuff. Like the one thing we know about life at every stage is. is that it... sucks.

...wants to content... Yes. Yeah, but that it wants to... Keep going. Keep going. Yeah. Like, everything. Life at every level,

the, like, the one thing that all have in common is... That it keeps going. Except us. That it rep... No, I mean... But, but no, though. Leamers...

Lehmers commit suicide. I was going to ask if any animal is committed suicide. Leamers... Lehmers, like, do mass suicides. They jump off fucking... Lemings. Lemmings, whatever the fuck. Is that why so many comedy groups are called the Lemmings?

That checks out. There's like wanting to jump off cliff. Funny, they jump off cliff. You're right. Also, this is something that I had. I had this class when I was in college that was, it was history 101 is what it was called. But ironically, it was like, this is what you should have learned. This is what you didn't learn.

This quirky-ass professor. Where was this, B.C.? South Africa. Okay. Oh, Drew. Drew was in South Africa, guys, if nobody's known. And I don't think I've ever said it on the podcast. I have bullshit.

It's been said about you. But I lost my train of thought, because Corey got jealous that I had a life before going on. Lambers? Limbing's. No, it wasn't Lemmings. It was the life thing. We read this one book. Anyway, the argument was basically that life is also the only thing in the universe that kind of breaks the laws of physics.

Most things as they as they like as time progresses they get more simple Like the law of entropy This system this heat system dissipates and throughout the universe and then it just gets more simple until it's completely stasis Yeah Life actually gets more complicated right over time right and I think that's connected to Like heat don't have to worry about like Cardi B existing Well I mean arguably Cardi B is heat She is hate for sure

Grammy winner what up so if you put those two things together Yes The two things we know about life are that it gets more complicated and also wants to continue. Yes. Like, what does that mean? Do you want to know what I mean? Yes. Like, there's no, like, you want to know whatever?

Because if it just wants to continue, then it would just be bacteria for 8 billion years. You know what I mean? Right. Right. But we want to hit harder. Right. It's like the futility of existence. Right.

The jellyfish haven't figured out, but they're definitely going to evolve into a fucking snake that can die. The jellyfish? Right. Yeah, they can live forever. I know, but like, had they evolved in how long? I said, if you think about that, what's it mean? And you said, do you want to know? Yeah.

And yes, I do want to know what I think. What I think is the rest of that. What do you want to know what I think? Because it's like, I think it's like sort of cheesy because we're getting into like what I believe. So that's why I was like, do you really want to know what I think? Because I guess this is like the closest thing to religion that I have. Here's what I think. Like, there's this idea that a lot of our culture has that, like, we're in the universe.

And I'm not the first person that says by any means. This isn't, I'm not going to blow anyone's mind because I'm high right now. But I don't think that. I think we are the universe. I think that that is just life is an attempt to live forever. We're trying to get more complicated so we can figure that out. And by we, I mean, any creature. Like Bill Hicks said, we are the universe.

experiencing itself. And some part of quote unquote the universe, and it's like I'm applying consciousness to it. I'm not saying it's a decision the universe has made. But some part of its makeup is to reach a level where it's not just experiencing itself. It's fully conscious and lives forever. Yeah. And so because all we have to go on is the evidence we have in front of ourselves, right? But like, so having said that, there are a lot of scientists and biologists and stuff who believe that

that the way life has progressed on earth is just the way that life is forced to progress. Like, if the factors are in place for life to exist, then it will exist and operate basically the same way every time because it's just a set of rules. You know what I mean? I think so. Like life just does what it does. Right. You know, regardless of anything else.

Ain't that true. Like if it's there. That's some Forrest Gump shit. And it just does what it does. So that gets me into something that this kind of conversation always goes to, which you and I have talked about before, which is like the Fermi paradox. Yeah, dude. It fucks me up. Hold on.

What's a Fermi paradox? The Fermi paradox is that, uh, okay. So there are. X number of planets around X number of stars in X number of galaxies, right. And they're all basically infinite. So if you take that number of planets and stars and galaxies and considering that they're infinite, if only 0.000,000,000, 0.001% of planets produce life, there still should be way more. more than what's up billions of life of life support intelligent life supporting planets out there

right and the fact that we have no evidence for even a single one other than ourselves that's the fermi paradox okay it doesn't make sense right and there are all these theories about why that is like there's an infinite number of people out there wanting to find us as we are wanting to find them The biggest one is that it's called the Great Filter, which is that life as we know it, at some point, hits this filter that keeps it from progressing beyond that. And some scientists think that that wall is the beginning of life in the first place. Like life even beginning at all, that's the great filter. Other people think that life can spring up, but the great filter is the jump from single-cell organisms to multi-cell organisms.

Other people think that it's the jump from multi-cell organisms to intelligent life forms. And some other people think that it's beyond that. It's farther that we haven't hit it yet, that we have yet to hit the great filter, but that it's in front of us. and there is some wall we are racing toward that will keep us from becoming a civilization that would make its presence known in the rest of the universe. And then there are other people that think that maybe we're the first. Right. Like that we are like we are the originals.

You know, we're the ones. We could also just be neck and neck. Right. You know, like... While planets form at a different time... It could all be... Right. It could all be true.

Like, we have no idea, you know? Like, all of that shit could be... Yeah. Another theory is that it does happen. It's so spread out. There is lots of other intelligent life out there. It's just they're so unbelievably, unfathomably far away. Right.

And that there is never a point that we... we can get to where we can move our bodies across that much space. That we live in, or basically like the boonies of the universe. Like we're in just, we're in a, boy, don't that check out.

We are in a galactic, space rednex. We're in a galactic backwater. Yeah. And then there are. Louisiana. There are other people that are like, just that.

Yeah. We haven't been reached out to people, or we haven't been reached out to by other civilizations and stuff for the same reason that we, don't reach out to ant colonies when we're paving a road

over their shit. Yeah. Why would we? We don't ask when we ask the ants how they feel about it.

And that's probably what God is. And that's how a lot of people feel. And that, Will Red listeners, is why we've come here today. Why aren't we asking the ants how they feel? I asked my aunt how she felt one time. She said, it would check out. It would check out for me a lot if Earth was like the Panama City of the universe.

It is. Absolutely. It's the Milky Way, way, way too red to go there. Or just the Milky Way candy bar. Yeah. Like any of that checks out to me. Man, we're in it. But it's true. Like, when you sit and think about it, though, like, I mean,

I try not to. The fact that, like, that we haven't heard from anybody and have it's like, I mean, it is. I don't blame them. It's wild. I mean, right. I'm bullshit. Of course.

It is crazy, though. It is crazy. Like, it's crazy. But, like, I enjoy the thought of, like, we're trying so hard to find other life, and there's other life trying so hard to find us. Like, we're looking up at the same. And then one day, we're going to meet in the middle, and it's going to be fucking not what we thought it was going to be. You know what I'm saying?

That'll be a great war. When you think about, like, the Star Trek universe where, like, there's all these advanced civilizations. Yeah, yeah. We actually Panama City. Because, Corey, I know you're a, you're a Star Trek fan. Absolutely. Like, in the Star Trek universe, they have the prime directive where you, like, advanced civilizations take it upon themselves to not interact with less advanced civilizations

because it'll fuck their whole shit up yeah it's why the democrats lost in 2016 and that's like that's like a rule that they have but it's just am i wrong am i wrong it's hard to believe that that's what's happening here though like the idea that there's this whole universe of all these intelligent and like that hard and like and we're the dumb fucks because also dude let's think of this way I believe it how much we have enough ability to see things

happening like we would we would know but think of it this way in the 1600s or whatever fucking people come over on boats you think about the manpower the money the effort it took to get across that ocean and then you get there the reason that we

murdered all the goddamn Indians was for their resources to take their land of shit, but if you didn't need it, or like, my point is it actually isn't that crazy. If, for example, there is some civilization 10 billion light years away and they can get to us, and they have.

And they got here and they're like, they're dumb as fucking rocks. And they're like, do they have any name and element that we barely have any of? And that's what they need for their society. And they go, no. I was like, well, fuck it. Let's leave them alone. Okay. It's too fucking hard to get that. You know what's crazy is like. But, but, but, like I said a minute ago,

we don't ask an answer. colony how they feel about us paving a highway over them. But we need that highway. Right. But, like, we also don't go to any lengths whatsoever to conceal ourselves from those ants. Like, and they left the pyramids here for us to know they was here, bro. Okay. But that aside, you know what I'm saying? Like, even if you're saying, it's like, oh, they have no, they have no real vested interest in fucking. with us, they also have no reason to conceal their existence from us. But if they came 10,000 years ago...

Because what are we going to do? But if they came 10,000 years ago, and to them, that's not that long, there's no reason to come back in that 10,000 years? You're talking about a aunt's? No. Aliens. Okay, I'm about I say, fuck, ants. There was no reason for them to conceal themselves.

Maybe they didn't. And it just, we didn't have TV back then. They would have had to have been here in the last 600,000, a thousand years. Yeah, have you ever seen Prince? To be written down is what I mean. You know what I'm not necessarily. Like people argue it was written down in hieroglyphics or whatever. And I think those people are probably reaching.

It's aliens. It's aliens. It's aliens amongst. But my point is simply that they may not have concealed themselves. Maybe they just ain't been here and long enough for it to be something that we have track of, that we kept track of. Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah. And good.

Because I forgot what I was saying halfway through. For the record, because of the numbers in the Fermi paradox that we talked about earlier, just because of the sheer math of it. I don't like sheer math. And I'm number dumb. But just because of knowing how big the universe is and how many planet, like, I 100% believe there are aliens and other intelligence.

100%. And if you don't, you're a fucking idiot. Right. And I agree. I'm about to get yelled at. You are a fucking idiot. If you don't think there's aliens, you're a goddamn idiot. Just mathematically there has to be.

But, like, of course. We already know. We found. Prince. No, we did. Prince. You even find bacteria? No, no, no.

We've talked about this on the podcast before. No, no, we haven't. Because I'm telling you, we've talked about this on the podcast and we looked it up afterwards. Uh-huh. We have not. Dude, if we, if we, if we found proof, 100% cold scientific proof of life outside of earth, that would literally be the biggest scientific. discovery and headline and everything.

Ever. In the history of mankind. And the history of ever. And that has not happened. Like, we have not found that. It was a fossil. We found evidence of water on Mars. I thought you said possum.

I thought you said possum. We found a possum. There's a Mars possum. It's so funny you say that. I thought we found fossils of bacteria from a Mars. No. No. Meteorite yields evident of primitive life on early Mars.

NASA. NASA said that shit. It's a fossil, which I know ain't. With your choice of select sandwich, nugs, fries, and a drink, Wendy's $5 Biggie Baggie Bag is your go-to. Your Nugget Wingman. You're hot and crispy fry co-pilot. Just like us.

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Bag boys. U.S. price and participation may vary. It includes choice of double-statched JBC or Krispy chicken sandwich with four-piece nugs, junior fry, and small soft drink. Third-party delivery pricing may be higher. Organic molecules of bio. Maybe they're reaching. I'm reading it. I'm trying to read it briefly.

That's all NASA. It's literally a NASA paper. But it's that they found fossils that they believe are of molecules thought to be of Martian origin. That's a reach. I think they're reaching. Yeah, we don't. I mean, we don't know. And, like, again, to me, it's the Fermi paradox thing.

Who the fuck is this Fermi motherfucker? A really, really, really smart dude. I mean, he hit, but you could tell he sat around thinking about it. You know what I mean? He was a sad man. Yeah, for sure. He sat around thinking about shit. Tesla was sad as fuck.

Back in the day when, like, that was like a job you could have was to sit around and think about shit. You know what I'm saying? You can do that now. We're doing it. We're doing it. We're currently doing it. Yeah. Yes.

But, like... This is the Choe paradox. But... But... But... But when... But when Fermi was doing it... Yeah, it is.

But when Fermi was doing it... But eating it, don't hit. Dumb people... No, it's a mariocci paradox. Dumb people that sat around thinking about shit... Again, that's what we're doing right now. I know we have the ability to do that. When he was doing it, that wasn't a thing.

Right. Dumb people sat around thinking about shit. They didn't have podcasts. They didn't have nothing. I don't believe that. They sat around thinking about shit. Dude, fuck the past. Can I say that?

Fuck the past. How many times we've said that? It's given dumb people. Can I go out of a limb here? Fuck the past. The past sucks. Well, this is another reason we're superior to sharks. They don't have podcasts.

Or pass. They don't have a past. They don't. They've always been the same. Okay. So on the subject of life and how insane life is, okay. Here's the thing I read recently. If you, if you stand up and you hold both your arms out, straight out.

He's in his willhouse. He's been reading books and stretching his arms out. Look at him. Crucifixion Pose. Okay. Okay. And the length from the tip of your left middle finger to your right middle finger. If the length of life on planet Earth,

life in any form. Is this your arm stretched out, Kevin Garnett? Anybody. It doesn't matter. But your hands are so long. It doesn't matter. From your left fingertip to your right wrist, right? So 90% of the length is just bacteria.

It's just single-cell life forms. And then beginning at your right wrist is two cells. Multi-cellular life forms. Right? Yeah. Okay. If you took a nail file, any right-aid brand nail file, and you ran it... That's how white trashy is.

He went straight to ride-aid. And you ran it... If I were going to say Walgreens, he says ride-aid. Any Gucci brand nail file. And you ran it one time over your right middle finger... Then you can return it and get your money back. If you ran that nail file one time, over your right fingertip,

you would erase all of written human history. That's insane. Your right hand is not just human history. It's multi-cellular, the dinosaurs fucking everything, all everything other than bacteria is just your right hand.

And human kind, humankind is just the very tip of your right middle finger. That's... We're the dust. By the way, that's the nail file. Fucking insane. Dinosaurs is wild.

Dinosaurs is wild. They're super fucking wild. Insanely wild. I know. That's what I'm saying. Dinosaurs existed so much longer ago than... And so much longer than. Like, you think...

Yeah. Longer than us. They're around for millions of years. Right. Dinosaurs... Any... Any of the, like, man hasn't even approached existing. From the time we walked out of the caves to now,

we're not even one, one hundredth of a percent of existing as long as the T-Rex did. I hear you. What about how, since they found out they was birds. Yeah, they got feathers. The tarant-saurus. They got feathers. and they was probably like very multicolored a lot of them especially considering where they lived because you know growing up for years

they was just old ass lizards and they was all gray or brown they was wearing pastels and shit that's conservative is right in the books that does hit right but it didn't hit you know what I mean like no a T-Rex being pink and purple that don't that hits supreme are you for you that don't hit for most people no most people want to be gray The gigantic murder? Are you shitting me? Yes, and I'll defend the fuck out of it. Go ahead.

They like Mountain Dew. It's lime green and red. They like fucking NASCAR. Every car but one was bright. He was the best, to be clear. My point is these people love bright colors. Monster energy drink. Monster trucks is bright green.

Bright shit hits for everybody. The literal Raptor, the literal Ford Raptor has neon on it. Neon signs. I'm with Drew right here. Chrome. That was a fucking whole step. Chrome don't fucking count.

We're talking about feathers. We're talking about pink and purple. Actually, that's right. And also lime green and blue ones. Just the colors that the Wimburns wear, it's also blue and lime green feathers. Then rednecks don't like that shit. I don't hit for them.

No. Those colors absolutely hit for them. What? I don't think so. You know, because I wore a pink shirt and everybody's like, you're wearing a pink shirt. Not just pink. Y'all just keep saying pink over and over again.

Their feathers were also blue and green, and those are the only. Only two I have, but those are fucking colors. You're literally describing Rick Flair, and this is kind of checking out. He's a goddamn dinosaur. That's all he was was a velociraptor. He crowed around on stage. Woo!

Yeah. You don't know what he's saying. Okay. He had feathers? You yourself have seen pictures of what people say now that a T-Rex looks like. Are you telling me that when you see these new pictures with these fucking multicolored feathers on it, you didn't think to yourself well that don't hit

no I'm glad no actually they hit harder for me yes y'all are so no no no no no no no it does it so much harder as birds fuck they're fucking birds in the gray ones I agree I'm with jury on this

think about Jurassic Park if they had feathers it hit way harder way harder are you kidding me are you kidding me dude remember when sting dressed like 100% fuck stings were good the best thing The best thing was not...

Hold on. Hold on. Everything's better gay. Everything is better gay. No. No, no, no, no. No. No.

Movies are better. Hold on. Everybody shut the fuck up right now. Math is better. Everything, which is gay, it's better. You're going to tell me right now that you think that Wolfpack Sting was better than fucking original 1993 green and pink sting. You've lost your goddamn mind and my respect.

Or you're going to tell me that fucking rednecks like. Don't like the ultimate warrior. What the fuck ever. The T-Rex of wrestlers. Fuck all that. In Jurassic Park. If they had wings and feathers, feathers, baby.

Oh, my God. Look, we get it. You feel differently. You're literally screaming at us that we don't feel this way. In Jurassic Park, in the scene in the fucking Jeeps when the T-Rex shows up with the fucking cups and the ripples of the water of him walking up, if that motherfucker had walked through that gate with pink blue. and green feathers on it.

It would have hit so hard. Y'all are fucking stupid. Are you kidding me? That is the dumbest shit I've ever heard in my life. You are full of shit. That would have looked so fucking dumb. No, it would have rolled.

If that motherfucker walked through pink, green and blue. Mostly blue. It would have been mostly blue. Oh my God. It would have hit so much harder. Dumbest y'est y'all have ever been. You're so foolish.

It would have hit some. My God. It would have hit so much harder. Absolutely. You're serious right now. That hits way harder. That hits way harder. If that was a dinosaur.

Than a fucking Tyrannosaurus wrecked. But here's the thing. But if we're not that. We're not that. We're not that. We're not. We're not taking a... That's a motherfucker ain't shit.

Listen to me. We're not taking away. Yes, you are. We're not taking away the Tyrannosaurus. We're giving him feathers and fucking great colors. He would have looked stupid. He would have looked stupid. Not would have.

That's what he looked like. That's fine. The fact that that... No, no, no, no. The fact that that's what he looked like is one thing. This motherfucker looked like a Jack Rooster. You think that don't hit? That does hit.

It does hit. It hits so hard. It hits way harder. If that scene would have ended with a gigantic rooster, fucking rooster walking his ass out there. If he had been dumb as fuck. He ain't walking the same way. Dude, fuck that shit.

But he was... He was a rooster. Look at how his arms is. I know that. I'm talking about cinematically. Sitting here and acting like... Trey, will you stop... Will you stop screaming at us for two fucking seconds?

Will you stop... I'm not going to stop interrupting. You've been doing it to me for 15 fucking minutes. Stop screaming for two fucking seconds. The notion is never actually, in fact, or in what we were arguing, we were just fucking with you. I wouldn't.

That shit would hit way harder. Sure. But the idea of... was never that he was a complete bird. Look at some of these fucking pictures of it. They hit so much harder at that gray ass piece of shit. Y'all are so fucking you're a fucking idiot. You're so fucking

stupid. You're a goddamn moron. He's not like, he's not like, that was a turning point in cinematic history. No, it wasn't. Yes, the fuck it was. No, that's true. When the fucking T-Rex showed up in that movie, you're out of your fucking mind. No, that's true. And if he would have been out of it for 20 minutes.

And if he would have showed up with fucking blue and pink feathers on us. Oh, my God. Or do you know how many shoes that come to sell? Oh, my God. Nike would have had a fucking crossover of them, motherfuckers. They'd have the feathers. These Jordan Faisal had the feathers coming out these bits.

You would have had feathers down on them. By the way, Trey, hold up. Dumbest shit. Hold up, Trey. How could be the dumbest shit we've ever said when you won't even let us say it? Hold up, Trey. You won't even let us say it. Hold up, Trace.

We're not drunk, our manager. Trey, I will, I'm on your team right now. That was a huge moment in cinematic history. that was a fuck that Stephen Spielberg when the draft what I'm saying is if that fucking T-Rex had come out looking like Liber Rache fin to play the candelabra it would have hit way harder that's so stupid hell yeah and his arms are too short and he can't reach the high notes or the yeah that use his nose and bang bomb bomb you're a fun after the buildup of that scene of the the cup of water no one would have laughed if we all knew what he

looked at and then if it came out looking like lizard Rye Yeah. That people would start laughing. They would have been like, this is fucking a lady. Oh, really? Did they say that about Muhammad Ali when he came out wearing his robe tray? That motherfucker was flashy as shit. He made a fucking statement.

That's how that goddamn T-Rex would have done if that motherfucker had a came out to battle goddamn Newman from Seinfeld. That's what it would have been. You don't know shit. Also, hold on. In your mind, is that thing happening? but we grew up with gray? We grew up with gray. Because hold on.

I didn't think this is what the conversation was. What I'm getting at is, like, once you know, once you know, like I see what you're saying. If our whole lives we knew that the T-Rex was gray or we thought we did or brown. And then that popped up. Everyone would giggle because it would be totally unexpected. But now that we know, and I would absolutely have laughed in that moment,

you're completely right. But now that I know and I process it and I know that's what they look like, it is undeniable to me that feathers look fucking rad. Way better. And I already know how vicious they are. It's a fucking rad-ass, 100-foot chicken dog.

You know what I'm saying? That's rad. Muffling eggs on your head. Dude. Also, they think the velociraptor could fly a little bit. Even just saying that, it's a hundred foot chicken. You're so wrong, man.

You're so wrong. Are you fucking. kidding me? A hundred foot chicken? You think most people are like, oh, 100 foot chickens? God damn, that's fucking cool. Yes, that's what dinosaurs were. What about a hundred foot lizard?

That is what dinosaurs were. What is cool about a hundred foot lizard? That is what dinosaurs were? Wait, tell me, what is cool about a hundred foot lizard that would be any better than a hundred foot chicken? If it's a chicken? Chickens are badass. Oh, my God.

Especially roosters. Oh, my God. Lizards just lay there. Chickens do not hit. They hit to eat. They hit so much harder than your fucking bullshit, gray-ass, leathery, fucking skin, dinosaur. You're a fucking moron right now. Chickens hit harder than alligators, comodo dragons, crocodiles.

And they all have feathers too, motherfucker. We ain't done talking about them. Also, most of the lizards you name it is wild fucking colors, dog, and they hit because they're wild colors. No, they're not. No, they're not. No, they're not. And it's iridescent. No, they're not.

No, they're not. No, they're not. Unreal. You're unveraged. You're in. You're being. Crocodiles. Komoto, Dress.

They're all. the same. They're bright green. They're not fucking rainbow. Are y'all out of your fucking mind? I don't even know you right now. What the fuck are y'all talking about? Pink alligators.

Dude, that would be so rad. Fuck green. Are you kidding me? That gray-ass green bullshit, a fucking pink alligator? You're a fucking moron. This is so stupid. No, it's not. Yes, it is.

A fucking feathered ass. It's the same size of the transaurus wreck. If the hit this thing to be for a murder lizard was pink and blue, crocodiles would be pink and pink. and blue. But they're not. Because that shit don't hit, motherfuckers.

Bullshit. Because they're dead. They're dead. Rocking down. They're dead. But the dinosaurs are? All the pink and blue motherfuckers are dead. All the pink and blue motherfuckers are dead.

The ones that ain't dead are fucking green. They're bright green. They're neon green. Dude, we got... Dude, I can't believe we ain't had nobody from the hotel call up. How many... Dude, how many... Dude, how many times have me and you had the hotel call up from us just sitting there laughing at a Cohen brothers.

But those were like, they're partying next door. You guys need to come up here. It's disturbing me. We're about to get the cops called because Trey is beating his wife, according to whoever is next door. Hey, can I tell y'all something that I told Nat like a little bit ago? Nat knew it the whole time as you called it. I fucking actually agree with Trey. Like, I don't know the feathers.

Like, I'm totally on your team, but you was getting riled up and it hit for me. so fucking hard. But dog, I'm way on your team. That gray lizard shit is way darker. It's Godzilla type. Fuck this fucking blue and pink bullshit. I ain't with it, but like that was fun as shit. I told her a long time ago, I said

by the way, I agree with Trey, but this is going to be really fun for me. And my God's son, that was amazing. Y'all do that shit to me all the fuck. Well, no, you don't. Y'all never agree with me. I was, and dude, that was fucking rad. God, that was fucking funny.

I argue with my heart. Well, guys, I mean, I don't know how you can get past that. So I don't know how we're going to get past that. It's been a good night on a well-read podcast. We love you guys. We just started the 2019 tour. We were in San Jose. We were in San Francisco.

Go to well-read comedy.com. W-E-L-L-R-E-D, Comedy.com, spelled just like the podcast. Find out where we're going to be. We love you. And thank you so much. This is our third year of touring. It's unbelievable. We love you.

skew. Thank you all for listening to the well red show. We'd love to stick around now. We gotta leave the flow because the cops are coming because Trades yelled at everybody for 15 straight minutes. Tune it next week if you got nothing to do. Thank you, God bless you. Good night and skew. Fathers hit.

We're going to get drunk and we don't talk a lot. Dress real fancy sitting on chairs. Have sex with family. Ew. Putting on airs. What other rednecks to talk about foreign affairs? laughing so hard that we end up falling out our chairs or with a pair

High class topics with a redneck flare Okay, we gonna talk a lot We gonna get drunk and we gonna talk a lot Dress-roof fancy sitting our chairs over That you think on the basement So we're gonna get drunk and we're gonna talk a lot Dress room fan And we're gonna talk a lot