wellRED podcast - wellRED Presents: Bubba - STRAWBERRY WINE

Episode Date: December 31, 2021

Deana Carter's seminal hit "Strawberry Wine" is a whole a** mood. Your sister loved it. Your friends loved it. Your momma loves it a little too much if we are being honest - why does she hit that high note with a tear in her eye? The song is beloved and wonderful.But of course, we are us- so we have to also get into the potentially darker side of the song. Now don't worry, we make up for potentially ruining your favorite piece of young -ove nostalgia by making Drew's wife Andi embarrassingly relive her own high school romances. Y'all, we are extremely into our own batch of strawberry wine on this episode, so bear with us. Enjoy and Happy New Year. 

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion. Because used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie, I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now, skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people, people across the skew universe, I should say. Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year? Do you even know? Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery,

getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low mane? Because that's a thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better, and it's called Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions,

monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket Money shows all your expenses in one place, including subscriptions you already forgot about. If you see a subscription, you don't want anymore, Rocket Money will help you cancel it. Their dashboard lays out your whole financial picture, including the due dates for all your bills and the pay days.

In a way that's easier for you to digest, you can even automatically create, custom budgets based on your past spending. Rocket Money's 5 million members have saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscription with members saving up to $740 a year when they use all of the apps. Premium features. I used Rocket Money and realized that I had apparently been paying for two different language learning services that I just wasn't using.

So I was like, I should know Spanish. I'll learn Spanish. and I've just been paying to learn Spanish without practicing any Spanish for, you know, pertinent two years now or something like that. Also, a fun one, I'd said it before, but I got an app, lovely little app where you could, you know,

put your friend's faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies. You know, those weren't a little like the Q-ball looking twin fellas. Yeah. So that was money. What was that a reply gift for?

Just when I did something stupid. Something fat, I think, and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first. But then I quit using it and was still paying for it and forgotten. If it wasn't for Rocket Money, I never would have even figured it out. So shout out to them. They help.

If you're money dumb like me, Rocket Money can help. So cancel your unwanted subscriptions or reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney. dot com slash well read today that's rocket money.com slash well r e d rocketmoney.com slash well read and we thank them for sponsoring this episode of the podcast. They're the. Ladies and gentlemen, happy new year to you and yours.

We hope you're eating hog jow and black eye peas or doing whatever it is that you want to do. So today's episode is Strawberry Wine. We recorded this before Christmas in Nashville, in the condo, the weekend we were recording our comedy specials. And we did it live. We were very drunk. I don't remember a lot of it. So the teaser today is very different. This is Strawberry Wine.

What a great song to start your year off with or in your year with. It's by Dina Carter. I think it was 95, but I can't really remember right now, and I don't have my notes in front of me. You're going to enjoy this episode, I think, or maybe it's going to offend you, because, again, we were very drunk. All right, rubbish out the podcast, and that's right, a show about country, at a tight, don't expect no shit.

All right, gentlemen. First, the facts. Strawberry wine is a song that was written by Matraika Berg Didn't say that comment. And Gary Harrison And recorded by Dina Carter

It was released in 96 It was her debut single She came out the gate From her album Did I Shave My Legs for this An oft-requested song For Bubba Shot the podcast It was her first number one hit

On the U.S. Billboard Country singles charts And it is a banger It is four minutes and 51 seconds which is a departure for the 90s, in my opinion. And for sure. That was a three-minute situation. Especially with what we've been listening to so far.

I think I'm saying it right. Actually, I think it's Matricia. Matricia Maria Berg is an American country music singer and songwriter, just because that name, you know, it's like it throws you off. She's written hits for T.G. Shepherd, Karen Brooks, Trisha Yearwood, Patty Lovelace, Kenny Chesney. She's in the Songwriters Hall of Fame. I think this is our first woman songwriter

other than Bobby, not Bobby Joe Gentry, the person who wrote fancy. Yes. But she wrote it for herself. Corey? I don't remember. I can't.

Oh, Lord. Isn't it? Isn't it? Not a good look for the podcast right now. Yeah. I was just like, oh, fuck. Well. It ain't who you,

it ain't Bobby Joe. No, I think, is it Bobby Joe Gentry? Or is Bobby Joe Gentry a song by her? well we've been to find that i'll be honest bobby jentry yeah it is bobby jenry okay sure see you fucked me up by saying that it wasn't that for some reason i thought that was the name of one of her songs too i don't know i mean it's saying there's probably at least one country song called bobby joe gentry i guess there's a there is a jo diffy song where he says it was bobby joe jentery and the uh yeah yeah all right now yeah normie nirale that's a future song to cover for sure absolutely

Norma Gona. I thought I always said, Norma Gina Rina. Anyway, let's talk about this banger, because I don't want to get off too much of a tangent, because we have a lot to cover. This song is long. It is rad. It could be a crime.

There's a lot going on here. Oh, shit, a crime? I do know. I've never thought about it like that, but there's a lot of statutory shit going on in the nine. Yeah, that's true. I think it's one of them. I think in every state it's fine.

Like that, and I was thinking, And I'm certain every state this song was set in. It was fine. No, I was actually, it's funny. I was thinking about that the other day because I just signed up for a serious account. I saw this in a prime country a lot for this podcast to like get different songs. Like, oh, this would be. And I text you guys.

Oh, this would be a great one. And like, it does seem to be a theme in 90s country where it's just like, yeah, it's an old lady fucking a boy, you know. And no. But like in retrospect, if you're looking back in kind of. of awe of your like statutory it's the only statutory if it's in the moment

but if you're looking back and like oh my god that was such a good time that's not that's well also also if it's I think if you're nostalgic what is statutory really I think what you mean is every time it happens and it's a boy

fucking an older lady everybody's like what a great coming of age moment that's not what he meant but that's also a good thing I was trying to bail him out. Yeah, you're going to have to. I was saying, if you look back on it fondly as an adult, then it wasn't rape. Yeah, yeah. And if it wasn't rape, then it's fine.

Yeah. Right? Yeah. Hindsight's 2020, even with crime. Yeah. That's how much time you're going to get. Yeah. But it does seem.

Two bangers in a row, y'all are giving me nothing on. Fuck you guys were reading lyrics. Here we go. I thought I was doing a thing. I know. You were? Okay. You said you were going to bail him out?

I made a great bail him out, joke. All right, here we go. He was working through college on my, my grandpa's farm. So he's at least 19. Right. Well, I thought it was, he was working for college.

I'm reading these lyrics, working through college. Yeah, yeah. He's definitely 19 years old. But that means he could have come back at some point. I think he was working for college. He was about to go off to college,

and he was working for college. Now, he's working towards college. He's working through college. I mean, what does it say right there? So, okay, it says through. First of all,

I always thought it was through. and that says through, right? So he's working through college boy. Let me say something. If he's working through college, means he's working all the way through college, but this is the last time she saw him. He was absolutely 21.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I'm saying, I'm with you. We don't know. We'll get all the way through it, but this is like a, this is a one summer thing. Yeah.

Necessarily. Could have been a every summer thing. Well, yeah, she was only seven. She was 17 only from one part of it. I guess she could have left. and never seen him again. Does she ever reveal her age? 17.

It's in the chorus. Right. All right. Let's get to it. For the record. Too Shark. Can you pull this up on Spotify and just play the first few seconds? I want the fans, I think we can get away with this.

Play the first few seconds. It's through. I think it's four. It's 19 and she's 17. Is that? That's fine. It's fine. It's completely fine.

It's called a Romeo, though. If he's 21 and she's 17, it's fine. What the fuck are we doing here? I don't know. but it's not legal Drey God damn right through right

you're right cut it because we'll get in trouble hold on wait a minute so put a little a 21 year old fucking a 17 year old

is illegal in almost every state I thought it was a four I thought Romeo and Juliet was four years Romeo and Juliet I don't know what the number is but a Romeo

I think it was 16 and 14 actually but it doesn't matter what that is they just call them all Romeo laws they're different in every state dude this is the main reason that I'm for like a big federal government. A 17 year old

is this far away from being a legal adult a 21 year old can barely drink legally and is and in my eyes is also still a child. So, dude, if 21 and 17 is illegal,

we need to fix these laws in this country. I agree. 21 and 17 is fucking fine. Unless you look back at it, nostalgically, then it's fine. No, I'm saying it's always fine. Is this bit kind of like the, it's the implication bit? I don't know what you're doing, too.

He's just saying, I get what he's saying. I get what he's saying. He's saying when you're grown and you're looking, if you're looking back on it like, we're looking at little in each other. Elvis married a 14-year-old and we're like, here ain't nothing about a home dog. Like, I get it.

It's different in hindsight. Well, also, if you're looking back on it. Hindsight power. You reach the statutory of limitations. But I do want to say, Trey, to your point, like, I think the left, this is a big thing, and, you know, if I get in trouble, whatever. Cancel me, baby.

The left is starting to infantilize people when it comes to sex, and it's very weird. I agree. You even have people being like, an 18-year-old's fucking a 40-year-old. He's disgusting. He might be disgusting, but that's none of your business. Well, like, we, okay, to go further on that, like, we definitely, there's a, I'm just saying, there's a lot of 17-year-olds with guns that we want to try as adults. and if we're going to do that,

then, like, they can fuck a 21-year-old in my opinion. If you're supposed to know what murder it is, you should be able to know what consent. I'm not saying to any one of those is right. I'm just saying that if you're going, like, this 17-year-old knows better than to fucking shoot someone,

then it's like, well, then he can fuck his fucking professor. I don't know. Well, God damn, like, we're going to get into this part of the song this quickly. Am I getting canceled? But she opens with, he was working through college. I'm saying, just hear me out on this. I think it has to be his next to last year

because she clearly never saw him again. The only other way it makes sense is if she left at 18, so he keeps coming back to work through college, but she don't ever see him again. I think there's a lot of, I don't know about a lot, but there's scenarios I can think of that don't fit any of that. He could be, he could have come to college wherever around where she lives. She's somewhere around UT Martin.

That's fucking farming, right? He came to college at UT Martin. He's working there. That summer, he's at her grandpa's. farm he fucks his granddaughter he fucks the farmer's granddaughter which we've all been there yeah fucks the farmer's granddaughter which hits he goes back to college at utie martin then he fucks back off to north carolina right there but hold on all we have is the lyrics of the song and boys he was working through college that what i just said is still working through college yes it

not through it through it through it means all the way through it she don't have to know what happened to him after that? She knows it's like the rich, why are you here? Because I'm at UT Martin and I need a summer job. I'm working through college. And then he's gone forever after that. She don't know what happened. I'm saying that I'm a literalist and the song literally says he was working through college. A literalist. That's my favorite political part. I'm a literalist guy. It's a constitution thing. Yeah. All right. Here we go. I was working through college. He was working through college on my grandpa's farm. I was thirsting for knowledge. What a great line. And he had a even better one arguably.

It's a fucking wonderful song. By the way, we're getting right back into stat rape. I was called somewhere between a woman and a child. When one restless summer we found love. It's not weird. It's not weird. I feel like we're all making this weirder than it should be right now.

But I do think it's a crime. It's not a fucking crime. 21 or 17 is a crime in most states. Unless it's nostalgic. Drew means literally You mean or not be and I'm with you It or not be How many people

You're fucking 17 year old You're fucking you're fucking 35 years old You're 35 that's different But in the law insane But no that's what the fucking Romeo laws I remember when I was in high Because here's thing we all did

We all we all grew up in places We're fucking dudes graduate at high school Hold on We're dudes, dudes, I should not say it. Hey, was it nostalgic? It was!

It's fine then. Dudes graduate high school and they stuck around to keep fucking the high school girls. It's the thing, everybody knows it. So I'm saying, like, so Romeo laws or whatever were a thing that came up a lot, I feel like. Yes, I am.

We all went to school. We all grew up in a town with Wooderson's in it. And I'm saying. They're not all the same though. That's fine. You don't know what the fucking Romeo laws were here. I don't. I'm saying this could be a crime.

Probably was. She's 17. She's going under her senior year of high school. She's going to turn 18 in six months. Six to nine months. I will also say 17. No, actually, actually three to nine months. I will also say 17 is the age of consent in a lot of places.

Absolutely. Like strawberry crime. So I just, why do we got to make this rape? Statutory. We don't have to make a statutory rape. States. I don't know what to say you. That ain't my fault. Yes. We don't. We don't. No. Drew? Listen. No. All Drew, we don't have to focus on the rape. It ain't got to be raped. I don't even want to do that.

We've been talking about rape this whole time. Let's not do this podcast. All Drew has literally said the whole time is, I'm not saying this is my opinion. I'm just telling you what the law is, which is what a lawyer does, which I respect for the record. Your Honor, that's how I feel. All Drew has said is, Drew has said, I'm just I think everyone should fuck 17-year-olds. But... Multiple times. He said it and I want you to do it.

But you go to a state where they condone it. A nostalgia state. Yeah. In the self-stated state. Right. That's all... And I agree with Drew. He's not saying that it should be wrong.

He's saying that it is... Illegal. Illegal. I've had people's... I think that's very debatable. It's not fucking debatable. I'm a goddamn defense lawyer. Yeah.

I've had this fucking case. Jesus fucking Christ! You've had this case? Yes. A 21-year-old and a 17-year-old. No, a 15- and a 19-year-old. That's the same. 15 is different.

How is it different? It's only different in a state. They can't even have... Shut the fuck up. I'll tell you how it's different. I was on your name. But then I don't care. The only way it's different is if you're in a state where 15 is not the age of consent,

but 17 is. But if you're in a state where 18 is the age of consent, and the Romeo laws are only two years, you will be royally fucked. Not, I'm 17 and I'm fucked. I mean, you're going to goddamn adult prison fuck. I believe when the Royals fuck you, it's no matter what age, you can do it. That's true.

Yeah. So. Magnacarta said. Without a doubt. Yeah. So all. All of you are going to jail. No.

I was on your fucking team. And also 15 is different because 15 like you. 15 is different. Because. But we're talking about laws. When you're 15, you have not your daddy in the car when you drive. You know what I mean? Like it's a different.

Like, do you remember the guy who. was going to go play. I think at Georgia, he was a cornerback. There was a one year difference. Yeah. Well, we should let them all play football. I mean, but like... As long as I could play. Don't fuck their butts when they get there. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's fine. He did eight years.

These look like, whatever. No, I was on your team. I fucking brought this up because I was on your team. Anyways, second verse. Of the song. We literally haven't gotten to the first hook. Okay. The Magna Carta

On the banks of a river Which by the way is where the Magna Carta was signed On the banks of a river On the banks of a river on a well-beaten path It's funny how those memories they last Like strawberry wine And 17 The hot July moon saw everything

Now the moon's an accomplice to be around Yeah, I was going to say the moon The moon might have to watch child porn We called your honor the moon My first I was just like I didn't see shit You know I was hanging out on the dark side

I wouldn't even fool of that night My first taste of love Oh bittersweet Green on the vine Like strawberry wine We gotta do the second verse We got to move on I still remember when 30 was old

Another great line Great line I could like Dude this song came out When we were kids you know. And my, like I remember my mama, my mama had this cassette tape. She had Dana Carter, did I shave my legs for this?

Which by the way, which by the way, yes. And by the way, fucking phenomenal name for an, like that song too. Like, did I shave my leg? Cletus T. Judd's first album was called Did I Shave My Back for this? Because of that. But wonderful name for an album. We got to do that song. It's very requested.

Woman power, man. Is that not the album cover? No, that's a single cover. Okay. But anyway, my mom had that cassette tape. She played it in the car all the time. And there was a lot of other bangers on that song, by the way, or on that album, by the way. But, yeah, this song, this one of my favorite 90s country songs, period.

And it's a top five for me. And this is maybe like, this is at least a top 10, I think, for me, song, period. and I mean that But but but but do you remember like not being 30 and being that's what I was about to say that's that's that's it's it is old started this whole thing to get to a point where I would say I can remember my mom listen to song or whatever and I remember this line and I remember in my head being like yeah that is what like that is 30 is super old yeah like that's so old you know and now I'm fucking 35 and it don't seem that old what seems old do you now? 30 isn't old at all. 80. 80?

What seems old to you too, Shard? Like 55. I agree. I agree. 85. 55. You've seen the horizon at the end. I've got a lot of, like, a lot of really good friends that I talk to all the time that are 55.

And now they're comedians, and 55-year-old comedians don't act like 55-year-old people. Oh, my God. But, like, what? If you have kids, that's how old I'm going to be when they get the first one. For sure. To me, 80. To me, like, 50-old. You were adopting 10-year-olds.

I know 55-year-olds that I'm like, I don't consider you old at all. Like, that's fine. Like, to me, 80 is old. 90 is decrepit. You know, but it's changed a lot. I get what you mean. But I think it's in terms of like doing stuff and pain.

And also, can I just do a quick aside? All Andy has heard being upstairs, Andy's upstairs, everybody. We're in the comedy conduct. Wait right wrong. It's screaming about Straitrait right? If they have a good time. And, hold on.

And me just scream, we're adopting 10 years. year olds. So I remember at my grandpa's funeral and my grandpa's funeral and I still think this is like a little whatever but this very sweet lady at my grandpa's funeral he was 69

years old when he died. Nice nice, right? Noy 69 but my grandpa was 69 years old when he died and it's very sweet lady my grandpa's funeral came up and was like giving me condolences or whatever and she goes well you know what they say only the good die young

that's what she said and I was and I was like I was 18 at the time and I of course I didn't say anything but in my head I was like that's the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard anybody say in my life

my dad when he died was uh he was born in 56 he died in 2013 was that 57 yeah and that's young as shit now that you think about it in that terms that's young as shit like my dad

my dad's both of his parents like when I was a kid I remember them as nanny and poppy. They were fucking my grandparents, you know. They were fucking your grandparents? They fucked them all the time. Oh, dude. Wade?

We're talking about Wade? Oh, they bent them over a couch. There should be an upper limit to like for legal. You're like, you shouldn't be able to fuck a 89 year old lady. My point is, unless you're having a good time. My papal used to say that they should shoot a man at 75 and he was like 80 when he said. My point is, is that they were my grandparents. when I was, you know, five years old.

And I remember both of them dying. Were they your grandparents before then? No. What about now? I didn't accept them then. But they died and of course they were old to me then. Well, now both of my parents are 15 years older than they were when they died. And I don't really consider my, man, I consider my parents old in the sense of like what they believe.

People do look better. But like, you know what I mean? Like I listen to what my dad says and I go, you're fucking old. But like his age, I'm like. Old people look better though now. They do. And it's partially like getting work done, but it's also like eating better, not smoking. And because our pants fit better now.

Yep. We wear different pants and shirts. I will say that. I wish we had a cuts clothing ad that we could throw to right now, but it's so true. Like we, uh, create them. It's just so true that like now, like, we just decided a couple years ago, we're like, hey, you know what? Pants should fit.

And everybody's like, damn, we look better, don't we? Here's the thing about old people. My mama lost a bunch of weight and then aged. Five to ten years. Because the wrinkles. Yeah. When my granny, my granny bane, she was fat as fuck when she was 85 and we were just like, God damn it, she just ain't ever aging.

And then she started losing weight because of her age. And we were like, God, fucking damn, this bitch looks old as fuck. And then she died. Your granny was fat as fuck at 85? Yep. That's a good run. It's a great run. It's a good.

All right. Being fat as fuck at 85 is in the conference. And I say fat as fuck, I mean. No, she was fat as fuck. She was, like, probably the fattest 85-year-old that you ever seen. Yeah, dude, I'm not saying. I don't like my mom is 83. I would go to bad.

She is this big, dog. No. She weighs 48 pounds or whatever. My grand is the fucking fattest 85-year-old bitch that's ever lived. I still remember when 30 was old. My biggest fear was September when he had to go. That's the reason he didn't live in her town. He had to go.

A few cards. Yeah, he had a warrant. And one long. A few. A few. A few cards and letters and one long distance call. We drifted away like the leaves in the fall. That's a pretty good line.

But year after year, I come back to this place just to remember the taste. Now that... Statutory rain. God damn it. You know what? The only reason I was arguing so hard is because, like, it technically could be in a lot of places. But, like, that's not what this song is about. Of course.

He was definitely 19. Yeah. Like, he definitely was. I want him to fuck this girl. See, this is what I was mad about the whole time. I don't know. We know. He said it to both of us three times.

I was on your side. He excels at that. He excels at that. That's just true. Oh, what I said. What a strawberry wine. What incarnation? What reincarnation.

Reincarnation. Oh, man. Sorry, I just did a callback to a different episode of a different podcast. Don't worry about it. Hot July moon. Sorry, everything. My first taste of love. Oh, Bittersweet.

Green on the vine, like strawberry wine. Now, what is green on the vine? I thought that... It's an unright fruit. Young. She's very young. It's a young and he's just like, ah.

Get into the botany criminal law that... This is literally cut that out. You're allowed to fuck a watermelon. This is the country music version of... Because you're going to ask this question. I've got it for you already. Wet Dreams by J. Cole. Yeah.

That's what... It's true. It's true. It's literally what it is. It's the female country farmer's granddaughter version. of wet dreams. That's all this song is. And if anybody is not familiar with that one,

in that song, Jay Cole's in high school and so is the girl. Then we got the hook or the bridge, I should say. It's a great bridge. What? The fields have grown over now. The music change there. It is the bridge.

Years since they've seen the plow. Yeah, yeah. Read it, baby. Years since they've seen, there's nothing time. The fields have grown over now, years since they've seen the plow. there's nothing that time hasn't touched is it really him or the loss of my innocence I've been missing so much

yeah sing it like Jodacy but still great the music change I think put it in a minor key I think it's worth look we've gotten way into the weeds talking about statutory rape let's get back to the artistry here that music change that key change is incredible in my opinion.

That's great. Because both melodies are fucking bangers. The melody of strawberry wine is an earworm. It's awesome. The rhythm of that song is great. Well, they hit that, they hit that. Here's the thing about music that a lot of people don't understand. Okay. Here we go. I'm just

saying, I love when Cho gets into. Whenever Cho gets into things other people don't understand mode, and that's when things start to hit. Here's the thing. Look into the, my, the phone over by my boot. Look into my boot. People don't understand

the dynamics of music, okay? And here's the dynamics of music. Is that often the absence of sound is actually more powerful than sound itself. Do you understand? So, when she says,

the loss of my innocence, and then it fucking drops. And she goes, and then what the fuck does she say? I've been missing so much. I've been missing so much. It sets up. When you hit that dramatic drop,

it brings people the fuck in. And that's what people don't understand about dynamic music. It's why a lot of people can't connect to metal because metal is just the entire time and there's no dynamic sound. Dynamic sound requires... False. I said a lot of people, not me and you.

I connect to metal. But what I'm saying is, dynamic sound requires the absence of sound. Okay? And the absence of sound in the hook drop here absolutely makes this more powerful because it makes you lean in for a second and go, did this fucking song stop and then boom, that's the dynamic of music

that country music hits so hard. Well, that was informative and entertaining. It's true. This song is very hummable too, which is what's so proud of you. That's not all the melody, man. Yeah, and both of them are. The key change with the bridge is also hummable.

All right. We're eating through our fucking lyrics. Let's go back a little bit. Let's go back to the first verse. Let's talk a little bit about this story and the setup of it. It's on her grandpa's farm. We made some jokes about, you know, fucking the farmer's daughter or whatever. Her grandpa, by the way, an ablest of all this.

Okay. Yeah, you mean he allowed. Enabler? And an abelist. It's just somebody who is like, oh. Prejudice towards disabled people. Get that wheelchair out of here. He probably was that too.

Sorry. Sorry. That's quite literally true Get that wheelchair out of it Get her! That murdered me I'm sorry Okay

I'm not sure me and you were laughing at the same thing No No I just I was wrong In the moment that you were doing what you were doing So that's all that happened I'm trying to think of what I could make an analogy to.

Trace did the equivalent of, it means he was sexist towards cunts. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's, okay, fair. Which he would have been. Yeah. Agreed. All right. So this guy's working on her grandpa's farm.

She's kind of a rich girl, and he's clearly not, I think we've got that old dynamic of rich girl, poor guy, because if he's working on a farm to get through college, he don't have money for college, he's not there on scholarship. He's a Mexican. He's a very... No, no, no, no. They don't go to college. Also, if he was a...

Me a coat, okay, whatever. If he was a Mexican, this definitely would be about statutory right. All right? He would definitely be in jail right now. Woo, la. What? Oh, you mean the family

wouldn't let him get away with it? Absolutely not. A very thought you meant, if this was a Mexican, he definitely would have statutory rate. No. I meant that a white 21-year-old can fuck a 17-year-old, no problem, but a white... As long as they have a good time.

Mexican 21-year-old, they would have said some shit. His grandpa would have said some shit. Her grandpa. Her grandpa. His grandpa would say it. Oh, do that. Yeah, dude, he hates cripples. Why would he not say anything about fucking...

Mexicans, let alone. Mexicans go to college. I said they didn't. I'm qualifying now that they do. They go to college. Oh, man. I hope Dana Carter listens to this. Honestly, I hope nobody listens to this.

Well, we're putting it out on New Year's Eve. I'm at a loss for words. All right, he was working through college of my grandpa's farm. I was thirsting for knowledge and he had a car. Perfect. It's a perfect line. Perfect.

It's so great. I was third. And he had a car. That's it. That's it. It's like you. To get to that. girl at that yeah having a bad ass car it's like that's fucking that's it go back to what you're

talking about with and everyone in small town especially from our era remembers this i even have told jokes about a teacher who did this where he married a girl right after she graduated and he's like y'all didn't start dating yesterday everyone had those older dudes dating those younger girls that was their way out even if it was just to one down over to watch a movie he had a there's nothing yes he had a ticket to me to get out of here yes yes i'm black but Everybody thought I was a man. So listen, listen, you've really hit invoking that song. And I can't even follow up on this,

but I think that song is about some like real, real, real, real heavy shit. Yeah, right, yeah. So it hits what you just did, trivializing it in that way. That really hit for me. Perfect. Yeah, I was going to say, we've besmirched, we've besmirched Tina Carter. Now we've included Tracy Chapman. Again, we're about to get canceled, which means put a down payment on that bug.

Just throwing it all in the pile tonight, baby. Well, all I was trying to say is that however people feel about this song, I think it certainly captures a truth about young love and losing your innocence and all that. Like, there is, look, dude, obviously it's gross if a 30-year-old's, fucking high school kids. Sure. But like, when you're in high school,

guys, unless it's this out of, shut. God, damn it. I know. When you're in high school, though,

there is something like, you know, obviously intriguing about the older people or just like doing cooler things, drinking, strawberry wine.

Yeah. Damn, you got a drunk too. Fuck. Yeah. Yeah. I think when you're, bad look.

I think when you're like a dumb-ass high school kid, a 20-year-old seems like the most mature, cool person. Yeah, right. Somebody that's like just better

than the dip shits than the dips shits that you're surrounded with. And obviously, when you're in your 30s and you look back on it, you're like, they're not.

A 20 year old is not any better than a 17 year old or whatever. But when you're 17... Arguably works if they're interested. But right, but when you're 17, it feels the opposite.

Even in high school, like it doesn't even have to be that old. Like, when you were a fucking fresh, freshman, a sophomore, a fucking junior, just someone who's been in high school a little bit longer than you, you're like, oh my God, they're... Andy! Andy!

Handi! Hand! She must be asleep. I don't want to put her too much on Front Street, but when she was like 16 or 17, she had a 20-year-old boyfriend, so I wanted to make her come talk about this. Dude, my sister... Andy! I don't want to put her on blast like this is, but my sister did, too, and at the time... Come here. Talk about...

A bad time in your life. Andy, remember when you used to fuck all them old dudes? Did you have a good time? We're going to finally have a woman on our pocket. Didn't you have a boyfriend when you're in high school who wasn't in high school and he had a real fast car? He had a car.

He had a Corvette. How old were you? I was, well, 16 the first time. And then. and then he was run off by my family well by my brothers I think and then he came back when I was 18 I'm going to say him a little bit away

laid away put the pussy on layaway did you ever drink strawberry wine with this man No. All right. We're talking about the song, and we've had,

we didn't even mean to get into it in the beginning, but we've had a lot of discussion about the age gap and that, you know, he was in college and all that stuff. Do you feel like you were mature enough

to date that guy at 16? He'd been working out of convenient stuff. I mean, probably not. Wait, how old was the dude, though? He was 24. Oh, shit. I thought he was 20. Oh, my God.

24 and 16 is, whole different story. That's not to do with that. All right. Now we're on the first 48. Baby, you're a victim. He was really hot.

But you had a good time, though. And also, I don't know if you heard, but Corvette, Drew. I did not have sex with him. Okay, so, but to Tushar's whole point,

like, you're, you know, you're in your 30s now, thinking back on when you were 16 and you met him when he's 24 and he had a really fast car.

Did it hit? Right. How do you now? Yeah. See? So it's fine. He had a corvette and he was really hot. Yeah, right.

Yeah. Well, there you go. I will say, just to the point in being 24, it is weird that, like, why did he have to get a 16 year old if he was hot? He could. Because he wanted to. Dude, fuck that guy. Because I'm awesome.

Yes, sure. But, right. But I'm saying, but. It's kind of creepy. Yeah, right. Yeah, I definitely thought this dude was 20 for some reason. No, see, Paige. You thought that he could.

Well, it's like 22 and then 24. Okay, so 22 the first time. It's still a little weird. Yeah, but that ain't the same as 24 when you're 16. Be someone. Be someone. Corey's trying to make this whole podcast. Corey's really attached to this Tracy Chapman thing he's doing.

He's got this Tracy Chapman bit going. He's really married to it. So. All right, let's talk about the song since we got you here. You love strawberry wine, yes? Yeah. What was I going to say? Oh, does it remind you of that guy?

I shouldn't ask that. Yeah. No, but it will now, probably. You ruined both in memories. How do you feel about the hot July moon seeing everything, making the moon an accomplice to this? That rules. Hell yeah, rules.

She loves the moon. Yeah. Not sex. Well, close to sex in the moonlight. Close to sex. Close to sex. Close enough? So you, so this guy did commit crimes with you.

Okay. Sure, one or two. Hey, hold on. You didn't commit the crimes, my love. Well, it's just, you know, you guys call me down from upstairs. and just threw me into this conversation. Well, you are welcome to walk away. I apologize.

It's okay. I'm just being funny. So, yeah, just technically he did. He did some stuff. I want to be clear to everyone out there listening. You don't have to say technically. This dude... Explicitly.

He did. He did commit crimes, huh? Actually, I don't know what the age of consent is in Tennessee, especially in, what, 2002? Got pretty screaming earlier to not know the law. Because I don't know. Yeah, I wasn't. I mean everything earlier.

30 minutes in the sixth, so this motherfucker was like, because I graduated in 2000 and fucking 10. I don't understand what that means. You think the sex loss was the same in the 60s as they were in 2010? Andy was in the 60s? Andy was 16 in the 60s? She was 16 in 2002. I don't know what the fucking laws are.

You guys know they change them every year, right? Yes. Okay. You think they don't change sex laws? You just said Elvis married a 14-year-old. Do you think that'd fly in 2010? If it was Elvis, yes, I do. No, it fucking wouldn't.

You'd have to go to Epstein Island, which he probably would have. God damn it. You've ruined fucking Elvis, Tracy Chapman, and Dina Carter for me. Yeah. It's a hard podcast. So, Andy, this guy's dick. Anyways. Did you hear what he said?

What? I just, I brought up his dick. His winner. I was going to ask how fast it was. It's Corvette. Yeah. But I'm in his penis. I actually didn't even want to follow it.

I was just hitting at the time. I apologize. I probably ain't putting this one out. No, dude, this one is fire. You kidding me? Best one. I was just trying to hit. Andy, was it very...

So Paige had a deal like that too when I... No shit. Yeah, I know, right? And that's the thing I thought back on as I've gotten older, being like, man, that was like... Like, that was, But at the time, but I'm saying as her older brother, he didn't hit for me because I was her older brother. No shit.

But, like, not in the way that looking back on it now, it should have if that makes sense. He's too old. Yeah, right. Well, no, I knew he was like, I knew he was like too. God damn it. Corey. Yeah, that's the thing. That's the thing.

I'm sorry I shouldn't have fucking said that. You're right. But fuck. Oh, Drew, this has. episode hits. No, I just didn't, it didn't hit for me at the time, but I'm saying as a 30,

looking back on it, I'm like, man, I'm like, man, that guy was a fucking, borderline predator. Like,

that shit was fucked up, you know, but I said he was 20. No, no, he was like, he was like 24, 23,

24 or something like that. Hey, tell him your friend, you don't have to say her name. Tell him your friend's predator's name. What? your first favorite say it

oh say that one say his name dinky his name 17 a hot baloney sandwich

my name's dinky my name's dinky oh winter green so so danky

was the guy just cutting them all down fucking just one just one I'm not going to say the word I said earlier but

thank you don't how fast was his car or how big was his truck it was faster than him yeah Jesus Christ danky

well you want to read the lyrics let's get back into it I'll not even gone to We have. A little bit. Yeah. The fields have grown over now, years since they've seen the plow.

There's nothing time hasn't touched. Is it really him or the loss of my innocence? I've been missing so much. And then it's just the chorus again. Like strawberry wine and 17, the hot July moon saw everything. My first taste of love, whoa. Bitter sweet. What's the bitter?

Just because she got sad with the letters and the colors. I think it's the statutory. I think she's looking back on it. Like, I mean, that dick was fucking fucking fucking. fire, but like, I can't tell nobody or he's going to go to jail. You know what I mean? It's because of her heartbreak. Yes.

I agree with Andy. I agree with Andy, actually. He wasn't a gentleman. He didn't stick around for two years. He never came back. Yeah. Yeah. It's bittersweet because it was fucking hard and long and fast and deep.

And then it was gone forever. Yeah. And that makes it bittersweet. Yeah, that's true. Well, I still think it was 17 to 19. but, you know. Well, it says he went to college. Well, it says we got into this.

He was working through college. What do you think that means through college? Well, yeah, that's like a summer break from college. That's true. But there's at least three, if not four, summer breaks from college, which is what I was saying earlier. I mean, Corey had like seven. He didn't even go. So, look, so listen.

I had a boyfriend who was in college when I was in high school, too. So I... Am I? She's a collector. She's a predator collector. What was the age difference? How old was that guy? Well, we started dating when I was like 16, 17.

How old was he at that time? He started college when I was like 16. So he was 18. Yeah, right. But so I worked the summer before college and my first summer in college. worked at the Clay County Highway Department, right? Where I got told you about fucking cows. Yes.

Yeah. Walter. Oh, Walter. He loved to fuck cows. Anyway. He was Waltarted. Well, anyway, what I was saying is, but then I didn't, but then I kept going to college, whatever, but I did not keep working there.

And I also left Salina, which is where that job was at. Do you know what I'm saying? But that's what I'm saying. there are situations like that where it could fit what she's saying but he could also be 19 or whatever I generally want to not talk about statutory rape on the 90s country podcast ever again

I'm sure we'll have to though because of this fucking genre and the reality and the reality you know like Andy's talking about you know like I don't know I was sitting there thinking about it and I was like you know what if you're in town working on a farm

and it's like 1719 that's not a big difference but this man he was like going to class and shit he was going to frat parties then coming back home to you not a lot of women studies classes I'd say he was going to no you know what I mean no I don't know I mean like

well since we got Andy here because we're talking about it earlier speak for all women yeah make all this good speak for all women no but she she grew up in a small town like we all did and it's very popular and common in these small towns for the girls that are in high school like you were

date the dudes that are out of high school whether they're in college or they're just still in town. Simply have a car. Simply have a car. We were saying, is it because when you're 16, you're around 16 year old boys,

they seem like dipshits, but a 20 year old boy seems like more of a grown man or something. Or like what, like. They got more game. Why, yeah. What is that? Well,

I mean, I had a lot of friends who dated guys our age, but I guess, yeah, for some of us that did that, I guess it was, you were sick of the guys around. Weren't you cooler, too?

Super immature. We were more immature than them. And for me, I just wanted any kind of thing that made me feel like I was getting out of my hometown. That's what we said. Recurring theme. And I think that that's, yeah, they pray on that. You know what I mean, right? And they're just, if they're 20, they're just dumb.

They can't get a 20-year-old girl to date them. I have to go get a 16-year-old to date them. Yeah. That's why Wooderson did his fucking thing. He's like, I'm not, you know. Dude, I love Matthew McConaughey, and I'm glad they launched him from that. But casting McConaughey as Wooderson did make it weirder because it's like, this dude can fuck anybody. He's cool.

He wants to 15. Dude, but I felt like, were the guys in your town that were like, that were Woodersons, were they not kind of like that? The ones in my town that were like that were like former quarterbacks. They were like guys who hit real hard in high school, but were still around. They weren't like losers in high school that were still there. It was guys that hit in high school that stuck around, so I felt like McCona Hillersen totally checked out. Our 17-year-old girl wouldn't have fucked the 19-year-old dude that used to be a loser in high school.

Right, right, right, no, absolutely not. Oh, I agree with what you're saying. I'm saying it did make the character less likable. But in defensive, those dudes, the dudes that were losers in high school, like, fucking went to college and figured it out and started fucking, like, way cooler chicks. You know what I'm saying? Like, all the band dudes that, like, those chicks never had anything to do with. I was made.

I was a guy. You weren't. I absolutely fucking was. Yeah, chin strap played. We get it. But I'm saying like, Go fuck yourself, motherfucker. All I'm saying is.

Are you kidding me right now? Yeah, you weren't a loser in high school. You didn't go to college. We just learned a lot about ourselves. And like, me and you've been friends for a long time. And I didn't realize you had that in you. You know what I mean? You didn't think he had chin strap played in him?

No, I didn't think he had, fuck you. He didn't go to college in you. Like, he's never done that. Yeah, but you were attacking. mock the chin strap, which played. No. All I said, you weren't a loser in high school. That's what he was saying.

I said, was you weren't a loser in high school. And you go, you were a loser after high school. I was fucking defending. Hold on, but he did the whole time think you were saying he didn't get laid in college. Yes, that is what I thought. That is what I thought. So I didn't know all that. I didn't know all that.

And so I'm sorry. Yes. I was on your fucking team. And you're like, how are you fucking dip shit? Of course you had to fuck 17 year old. which I didn't, by the way. When I was 17, I did. Guys, I'm sorry for that.

Guys, I apologize for that. I understand why you would say it, and it's true, I didn't go to college. Guys, when Annie and I first started hooking up, guys, listen to this. This is pretty good. I just thought of this. This is the best episode of this podcast that's ever existed. It's getting released.

This is fire. From jail in 15 years. Fire. Listen to me, damn it. This is pretty good. Andy and I started a date when she was a freshman Oh shit I didn't hit record That ain't true

Of course it's not gone Oh well thank you for that I did think for a second that I didn't By the way Andy and I started hooking up When she was a freshman And I was a senior in college Oh now the age difference between us

Was probably more than the high school boyfriend If you marry you does have a thing for older men Yeah clearly If you marry him you're out That's a law right You're the lawyer Well she was 18 or 19 when we You can marry a 13 year old

I was about say I was like yeah old when she was that age older men but now y'all are the same age we were only two and a half years essentially so i'm just saying it's very funny to me that her the her string of men like she just you know she kept going for the older youngest one i knew it would hit man you all haven't even gotten to the fact that i bet every single one of us had a coach at our high school yes we talked about that day did it oh yeah yeah we talked Yes. A what?

Our's married, it. Not only that. It was fucking, and not only that. It was just like fucking known and cool with everyone.

Everybody's like, oh yeah, coach. And I didn't want to say this. This one coach turned this one girl who was so nervous during speech class that she puked on herself.

Yeah. Four years later, she is a stripper who works in a daytime at Hooters because this coach fucking turned her into that. The fucking one at Katie, the one at Katie's high school

is the local congressman name. Okay. The state, state level, but state congressman's wife. The one for her. The one at our fucking high school. She's a real life fancy. The one at our high school was the one that told that fucking, what word do you say?

Yes. Please find it. Let's start getting careful with the word choices. Now's the time. I worry about the words you use. He told that boy whose brain didn't hit. wonder what word he was trying to avoid saying there that boy whose brain didn't hit my god like what are you maybe thinking of joe car about stroke out

cori's turning that boy who brain didn't hit he didn't go to college that's what happens What's happening? He told him to keep fucking his rabbits pulling apart on the stand right now. Cory. Rabbits a lot. And the coach told him. He said, won't you go fuck your rabbits then?

And the coach got in trouble for saying all that shit. Well, that coach also used to fuck a lot of girls in the fucking hot tub that we, that we use to like make our legs hit once you know after a guy like a whirlpool bath the whirlpool bath

we would fucking make our legs hit he would be like that he's fucking coach he fucks chillers in there and then he told that fucking retarded he was now

oh my gosh he has Alzheimer's and drills on himself at the fucking meeting three the coach does which hits because he shouldn't have done none of that there's there's

There's justice in the world is the point of this story, I think. My fucking God. We did. And called everybody the R word, apparently. Called the R word or rabbit fucker. He knows the West Coast offense. What are you going to do? What are you going to do?

Like, that's, okay. Now, when I was in school, there's the teacher slash coach there who, like, it was just openly talking. about that he was fucking these girls and it was like and everybody knew it and I don't like I don't know

if it was true but I'm sure it probably was I assume but like it was just everybody knew it and everybody talked about it and he kept coaching and teaching they kept being in school nothing ever ever ever ever got brought up about it it we had this one we just have to leave schools

and go to a different one and fuck kids we had this one dude who was like a permanent substitute like a lady was out for a long time, you know what I mean? And he became a coach and he started doing that and they got rid of him and I remember I said to my coach, I was like two of your assistants are

like, just tell me like what the difference is and he was like oh whatever and I asked my mom about it and she said Drew I think honestly it's because he's a Yankee and I think she was right like that's where my people drew the line. We ain't letting Yankees fuck our women. No.

Our coach though is doing it. Everybody knew he was dating one of the students. And then when she graduated and turned 18, they got married. That's what happened in my school. Aw. So that's nostalgic, too, Shar. She looks back on it fondly. Well, my mom would defend that to her death because, you know, Aaron and Jason are happy. I think the, I think the one that's a congressman, I think the Wayne County one that's a congressman or whatever, I think it's also a situation like that. Now, Jason was,

Tracy, Jason was 22 and Aaron was. I mean, I'll say his name is David Byrd. He's a huge piece of shit. He fucking sucks, but, yeah, he's a congressman.

That's right. He's going to do great. Yeah. Kid fucking piece of shit. David Bird is. But anyway. Well, um,

let's, uh, let's go. Stand for knowledge. Brain. And he's getting boring. The song is ruined now. No.

It's harder. So we're going to write it or what? Let's talk about the video, I guess. We didn't even talk about the video. Too sure, what do you think of the video? I skimmed through it because we... But it seemed very, like, um, airy. Like, it was a field, and it was like an old couple.

It was a very basic. It was a very basic video. It was her first hit. Yeah, yeah. And they were trying very hard to, like, you know, maintain her image. I remember this, this song got a lot of airtime. I remember. like knowing the song without knowing it.

All right, let's write it. Too sure, do you want to go first? We'll do, you know, zero to three. I'll give it three Earnhardt's. Just because of this conversation. And she had a good time, you know. And making the song. Andy, thank you for being our half guest,

meaning half the show. I'm a three-fifths. You're a half. Okay. Thank you, Chor. Would you like to rate it? What's the ratings? Zero to three, Earnhardt.

You can do fractions. You can do fractions, too, if you want. She can't do fractions. Hell. Hates fraction. It's true. I do A fraction. She does.

I mean, it's strawberry wine. I still give it a three. Yeah. I think I'm going with a three. It's a three. It's a three out of three, Earnhardt's easily. Like, I mean, it's not even that what this song meant to me as a kid, which is like, I said when we started this podcast, like, it's top five, probably for me,

nice country. I love it. But like, then when you break down the lyrics, it's like, I'll say this, like I said in the last podcast, Bob Dylan ain't done shit as good as that. No, no, he definitely fucked the 15 year old. Yeah, for sure. But lyrically, Bob Dylan ain't done anything. He's done stuff as good as that, but not better. He's done stuff as good as that, but not better. It's a three out of three fucking earned hearts easily. Also, can I tell you, that's the hardest I've ever laughed in my whole life. It was very fun to watch. Very fun to watch. I fucking spit up. I thought you were going to vomit.

I said, that's what spit up is. I said before we started that I'd give it two threes if I could. And so this is, and so I'm going to, I'm going to be raving now. I'm going to take us back. This goes back to when y'all bullied me on the last episode. Bullied. I'm sorry, y'all can disagree all you wanted it. That's fine because it's subjective.

But this is what I was trying to say. Neon Moon fucking super hits. It's super hits. It, for me, it is not on the, level of this song. This song is a higher level for me. So, thus, they can't both be three. I want to give songs like this and fancy a three.

Well, then make a caveat to it. It's a three plus. I tried. No, I tried last week to give it a. Yes, I fucking did. You know, you're like, you fucking stupid pussy, bitch. I did not say the fucking song didn't hit. I did not say the fucking song didn't hit. I'm saying, I want to give this a three. Give it a three. I'm giving it a three. I want to give it a fucking six So when you get a six

See it or not have to be that way Wait But this is like when you take AP classes Well then we're gonna get to the end of this podcast And no song can ever be a fucking three Alright hold on hold on up No Wait you said it last week

Hold on No no no The way you said it last week The way you said it Is you were like When you kept saying for me It was sounding like you were saying Like I like other songs more

And like you can't You can't do it that way because just because you like a song more, well, then there would only be one three. It would be your favorite one. I agree with that. You're right. That's true.

What I think you're saying is, you don't think Neon Moon is as good of a song as this. However, you personally feel about it. And this is three. So Neon Moon shouldn't be three. I very strongly feel that you're wrong about that, but I get what you're saying. So what do you give Neon Moon retroactively? What I was trying to give it at the time,

which is like a 2.75, but y'all wouldn't have it. Not even a 2.9? Sure, 2.9, yeah. We're getting a little. We're getting a little wishy-washy here. I don't know what all these fractions mean, but yeah. Like, was I even going to do... Let me say he don't know what fractions mean.

Was I ever... Was I going to do... Was I going to do more than 0.25.5.5.75. I don't know. I don't know, Drew. Who knows? Who knows? Maybe I was going to.

He has been getting a little wishy-washy with numbers lately. How can I make a 90s podcast about country music not fun? My name is Trey Crowder. Let's do this show. I have absolutely. smashed this episode. And most episodes of this podcast, just so you know.

My fucker didn't go to college talking to me about numbers and shit. Trey's looking back on smashing. It sounds like some nostalgia. This has been Bubba shot the podcast. We got to get out of here before we all get arrested. Thank you.

Good night. That's the hardest. That's the best episode we've done. I don't care what nobody says. To a bad country at it's high don't expect no shit