wellRED podcast - Which Country Has The Best Food? And More!

Episode Date: May 20, 2026

this week among other things the boys discuss the rankings of world cuisines (some mild tech difficulties up top but nothing major) CoreyWritesForYou.com  TraeCrowder.com DrewMorganComedy.com   Squarespace.com/WellRED promo code WellRED

What's up, butt fuckers? Hello, hello. Fucking bucks, mate. What is that show? Is that a lightsaber? No, it's a little braves baseball. Little baseball games. I think holding this made butfucker come to mind because it made me feel like I was in middle school again.

I genuinely think that's the connection because I don't say butt fucker a lot. This is going to be one of those times where he remembers he got molested. Yeah. No, like, like, butfucker. In 20 minutes, he's going to be like, oh, something about my butt with one of these bats. Yeah. But he told me I was his friend and then we hung out for two years and he gave me pills. So I thought we were cool.

I'm just now realizing that's probably bad for me, huh? Yes, I've been raped and they think it's a big joke. That's what that's all about. And I agree. No, I genuine, like the word, I've been thinking, I have thought of the word butfucker, not too long in the past because I was thinking about how buttfucker and Fudge Packer didn't really stand the test of time

like a lot of the other ones did. You know what I mean? And I thought they were really like Fudge Packer, that's pretty good, you know? Yeah. Were people you, were people... Yeah, I know. I see that.

That's anyway. But were people calling people butt fucker? Hey, butt fucker. Yeah, we were. Yeah, I mean, I know Fudge Packer was the thing. Obviously, cock suckers long since been a thing, but butt fucker, I don't know. because obviously butt butt fucking is going as strong as ever.

That's true. Obviously. But also you started to be like, I don't say butt fucker much. That's not entirely true. Right. That you weren't that meeting we had once by only saying the word butt fuck over and over. That's true. But meeting with professionals, everybody knows.

It was butt fuck. I didn't say that I didn't say butt fuck a lot. That's, yeah, I don't say butt fucker a lot. And also, and this kind of makes what he did worse. I think that's the only time he said butt fuck all year. And I was just quoting Rory Scowell. I was about to say, I know why he was doing it. He'd just watch Rory Scoggle's special where he got, he got, he done, fuck.

What's that dude for you? But fuck. Don't do it to me again. By the way, he's so funny on Rooster. The other night. Oh, he's great. In one episode, he made me and Andy fall over laughing three different times. Dude, the running bit where he just can't find his gun.

and all this. And then there's so many other little things that, like, I mean, Bill Lawrence is great. Don't get me wrong, but I'm like, I can tell Rory slip that one in there. That was definitely, you know, take four. Yeah, you can see it on Carrell's face, too. They have to cut away from it. Yeah.

Yeah, dude. It's really fucking. He plays it so sincere the way that, like, Will Ferrell does, but not over the top, not buffoon. I don't know what he's doing. It's great. Half a buffoon. Does Drew sound like Stephen Hawkins?

talking to you. Mm-hmm. You might have to just leave. Okay. Yeah, because that's definitely to drive people crazy if we can't fix it. I'm late. I'm like seeing a like a dude. Yeah.

He's right. You sound like a robot. Yeah, don't hit. No, don't hit for you in the year of our Lord 2026. Never been a worst time to be a robot. All right.

Well, I hear it. You can still listen to us, Drew, if you want to. It's funny because you wanted to, you suggested doing this two hours ago. Uh-huh.

I was like, no, Drew wasn't on last week. We should wait for Drew. Yeah, I kind of could tell robot laryngitis. I could see the way the wind was blowing. As soon as he said, like, I'm going to be in the car. I was like, this ain't, this ain't going to be. We should just, and you know, I should have put my foot down, but I don't do that because

you still have authority on me in this relationship. And I never want to tell Daddy no or, you know, speak up and, you know, assert my, I don't know authority in in in in terms of drew not hitting or something about drew not hitting by the way drew just tried to join again and as soon as he did i now i couldn't hear you talking and he's fucked up again so yeah so i'm just going to have to edit now so that's fun now i think you can that was so short i think you can move that in because it'll i think that'll be funny maybe hopefully well it's just a me and you episode for the second week in a row about one thing i was going to do is issue a clarification from last week.

We didn't do any of this on purpose, but I was reading to you about the business plot, the old conspiracy theory. Well, actually, it's not a, it's a real thing that happened. And I said the Wall Street tycoons wanted to install General Smedley Butler. Yeah, Smetley Butler.

As dictator, and we both were like, well, that would have worked Smedley. What about it? Well, we got texts from multiple. multiple different Marines, including the front of the show, James Bain. But apparently Smedley Butler is like the greatest Marine that ever lived. Yeah. Apparently, he has received two medals of honor, which I know is nuts because that they don't come by them easy.

It's so funny. I don't know. He might be the only person to ever get to, maybe. But it's not, it's not, that's impressive. So Smetley Butler obviously hit. And James told us that he told those Wall Street tycoons to go fuck their own butts. He wasn't going to cooperate with that anyway. So he seems all right.

It's funny because like it's so raving because like especially with the way that we're able to get new information now. Like usually if someone is like, oh, this guy was in the Navy or the Marines or whatever during World War II, you're probably going out on a pretty sturdy limb. by making accusations that they might have been a piece of shit, you know, and we picked the one guy for whom that's not true to be like, ah, fuck that guy, you know. Yeah, no, it is so Raven, like you said.

So I was very wrong. I'm glad I googled that. 19 people in the history of this country have received the Medal of Honor two different times. Bobby Bowden. 14 of those were for two separate acts of bravery. five of them were for one thing and they got a medal of honor from both the Army and the Navy. Oh, okay. For doing one thing.

I thought it was just like the Army being like, run, tell that again. Yeah, no, I don't know exactly how to, I guess they are in the Army but did a water thing. Water thing, right. Or they are in the Navy but did a land thing. Yeah, right. A medal of honor from both. Which would have been easy to do, and especially during that war, you know, you're on the beaches in France or whatever.

It's like that was that that specifically happened in World War I, which is what you're saying is still true. I'm just telling you. But it's like step on the beach, army, fall back in the water, Navy. Yeah. Apparently, um, a huge percentage of, uh, Navy, members of the U.S. Navy, uh, I never I just lost everything you just said because Drew's trying to log on again and it didn't work. I just,

whatever you were just saying didn't work. Apparently a huge percentage of people in the U.S. Navy never set foot on a boat or doing water stuff at all. Okay. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. Well,

they probably work on the boats. Right. You know. Right. Boat mechanics. They do a lot of stuff. They work in the office. Doesn't that make it wilder that they're the gayest one?

Because the whole theory of that is like, well, yeah, they get that gay if you're underway. You're locked in a boat. That's what happens. But it's like, they're just fucking each other's ass on the pier. Just the love of the game. Yeah, they say, yeah, it's not gay if you're underway. That's the saying, which is like, I think we've talked about that on here before, about the idea, like how much credence do y'all give that, you know, like how long,

I mean, realistically thinking about it, if you're on a boat with nothing but dudes for, I mean, let's say more, two years, I don't know. In the Navy? Would you fucking other butts? Yeah. Bro, depending on what tour we was on. It was like two weeks. No, I'm just saying, like, is this wartime or peacetime?

If it's wartime, I'm fucking ass. Dude, I'm clapping cheeks first day out. I'm like, you never know. We never know when it might be your last, yeah. There was this study in South Africa at the mines there. Apparently it's a big thing there, and it's kind of like the prison thing and all that. But just like in prison, there are people who, for whatever reason, become the woman.

And part of the study was like when they get back home, they dress as men, they have wives, and they say they're straight. I'm bringing that up because is that happening in the scenario you're asking me, Tray? And how good are they going to be your wife, like the guy you're fucking will put on some lipstick and that makes it harder for you.

Yeah. Yeah. Sure. I mean, I guess you speed it up. Yeah. Well, but I mean, probably not though, right? because in the Navy, you can't do that.

I mean, you'd have to sneak and do that, and you couldn't do it for very long. It's against regs to, you know, dress like a pretty lady. If you're on TV in the Navy. I'm always blown away by how in sync we are, even on accident, that like every time I have something that I want to talk about on this podcast, before I get to it, y'all will talk about something and it will just be the perfect segue.

And it's unbelievable. Like later, I want to talk about. about Luke Brian's new song, and you are talking about dudes getting fucked on a boat. Luke Brian has a new song about dudes getting fucked on a boat? No, it's just real gay. In the video, he's gay on a pier. He's super gay on a pier.

He's not on a boat, but he is being gay, on a dock. It's being said by a lot of people that this is potentially, and imagine the bar, this is potentially the worst country song of all time. Bro, what? I thought you were going to say gay. No. No, it's gay in the sixth grade way, not the now way.

You know what I mean? Although it is kind of regular gay. And remember, you know, like... Yeah, he was kind of gay. Bro, this is just shitty. And I know that gay don't mean shitty. Right. But it's shitty in that kind of gay way.

Like, I can't. The word means so many things. And I just hope you know the one I'm saying. I didn't know. You know, with Kenny Chessie, remember we lost that whole lost episode of Bubba shot to podcast where it was just nothing. but an hour of us drunkenly calling Kenny Chesney Gay in a hotel room because we were doing was it she thanks by tractor sexy and we watched the video for that and he's like he's pretty

you know it's Sean Michaels man yeah yeah yeah so anyway I didn't know if you met Luke Brian was doing some that shit definitely I mean yeah definitely but no he's trying to do the opposite of that he yes the whole thing's about going hunting it's called fish hunt golf drink Yes, dog. And that's the exact prompt they put into AI. I'm telling you. Oh, shit. It's so bad. Hold on. Hold on, hold on. Now, Trey, you haven't heard it. I think this is part and parcel to the question of like whether or not this is the worst country song of all time. The Alabama song that we keep going back to is worse. But that was Alabama desperately trying to make a comeback. Right. Disappearing for years and their number one songwriter, I think, had died.

And that was like 10 years ago when that happened. You know what I was. Virginia coal miners, won't you? God, dude. Luke Bryan song, correct me if I'm wrong. He is cresting the hill, but he's still kind of... He's on American Idol, dude. You know, okay.

So that makes it worse to me, is what I'm saying. I think the Alabama song, Southern Drawl, is worse than this song, but not contextual. Also, when Alabama did that, to defend them a little bit, that wasn't really already, like they kind of made that a cliche with that song, like, of just naming things, of just listing things. You know, that was the 80s, so like

it wasn't as beat to death. What? No, no, no. That wasn't, not the 80s. I thought that was the late 80s. He's talking about that. He's talking about one of their actual hits in the 80s that's very similar. That's talking about that song that we brought up many times. That's right. It's called Southern Drawl.

That's right. It was them trying to make a comeback and they were pandering so hard. I totally forgot about that because they also had one that they released just as a regular song that hit for people that's just as stupid in my opinion. Alabama fucking, they don't suck, but they're so goddamn

fucking overrated, man. Jesus. And they done nothing wrong to me. It's because Dixie Land Delight is so good. Yeah, but see, that's the one. Song of the South is pretty good. Dude, I know, they're fire. They're fucking fire. I'm sorry. They're great. And I think that guy

died. No, he didn't, Randy? The guy who wrote him. Oh, the guy who wrote him, maybe, but their lead singer, hell, I seen him like a couple days ago. Yeah. Yeah, probably spouting off AI bullshit in a gutter. No, I'm saying he lives 45 minutes up the road and fucking Fort Payne, Alabama, he's got a place over there, see him all the time. Yeah, and I'm saying, he probably sucks, and he has a good voice, and he got with a guy who didn't have a good voice, but didn't suck. And then that guy died.

Yeah. And now he's Kid Rock, but Alabama. He seems to just fish a lot. Just as a reminder, there's just some of the lyrics from that song before we go back to Luke Brines that we could compare the two. And again, this song was not a hit. They wanted it to be, but it didn't become a hit. But anyway, here's some lyrics from it.

We drive trucks, we drink beer, we shoot whiskey, we hunt deer. We say things like, yes, ma'am, and how do y'all? Life sounds better with a southern drawl, right? That's the... They were honestly just six years too early. back to Luke Brian, Tray, because I think the bridge is even more awful. Well, so, here, country music, mashed potato, nothing like a ripe tomato. Bible Belt to the core.

We support our troops at world. That one right there, right. Hold on. That one, bro. They're not done supporting stuff yet, Chau. Grand Ole Opry, Barbecue, we support Amendment 2. Just about everything is a little better with a twang. And then back to the fucking.

What was the line that? It says we support our troops at war. What leads right into that? Bible Belt to the cold. It's unbelievable. We support our troops at war. Dude, here's the deal.

If one of us doing a Sasha Baron Cohen character had written this song, certified Mark Twain humor award genius. It's so fucking perfect. For it to actually be real is mind-blowing. Dude, the song, whoever wrote this song- And somebody real did write this one. I know.

And I guarantee you, dude, don't you think that they were like, hungover, forgot that they were supposed to turn this shit into their publishing, threw something out and was like, well, technically I won't get fired, but don't worry, this will never go. And then they look up and are like, oh, my God, what have I done? I've bred the Labradoodle.

It feels like a bet. Yes. It's like that Toby Keith song, the legend of how he did. You know, if you've heard that, I'm certain about the Reds. I thought it was Jamie Johnson and Honkyton, but don'tcadong. Well, there is a story about that, but with Red Solo Cup. from the cup. Yeah, I heard that.

There was a legend that he was just at a party and he was talking about how hard he hit and that he could make a number one song out of anything. And someone's like, I bet you can't make one out of that and pointed to the cup. And then, you know, the spirit of Merle Haggard filled him with country goodness. And he wrote that on the spot. I think he stole that story from Jamie Johnson. That's what I think. What's the story?

Because I thought Jamie, I thought that was just like a paycheck thing for Jamie Johnson. The story I heard was he was at the Wild Horse Saloon in Nashville. and I remember that part because that's where I used to go to all the Titans radio broadcast. And he was hanging out with a buddy and someone, a girl walked by with a nice ass. And this guy said, wow, what a badonka donk. And he didn't know what that was because he's Jamie Johnson, has been inside a liquor bottle since Dale died.

And he goes, what's that? And he explained it to him. And he just said, huh, honky tonk, bonacadonk. And then was like, hand me a napkin, you know. Yeah, that's a number one record. Yeah. But, okay, Luke Bryan. Okay, I got the lyrics right here. Tell me more.

So as you know, the song expertly titled Fish Hunt Golf Drink. Verse one, if it wasn't for the tax man, wasn't for the bills, if it wasn't for the traffic in my windshield, if it wasn't always somewhere to be, and my life was really up to me. Now, he's not said anything here that is generic country, I said, I guess, except, I guess, except. except for mentioning the taxman or the government, it's just not good at all. And it's just, and I'm not, I know that songs can't be full of complete sentences

because that's not how pros and stuff works, but like these are all just fragments of half of an idea separated by commas and put to C. Just get to the chorus and you don't even have to like, you won't even have to expound everyone. Well, here's the pre-chorus right after that. If I,

if I could have it my own way, you know, let me tell you how every day would go. Wake up coffee, camo, climb, tree, wetline, 18, fish, hunt, golf, drink. All fall, all spring, all summer long. I'll be living it up and living it on, a country boy's dream, fish, hunt, golf, drink. Okay, questions. Yeah. When did golf, and I'm not mad about this?

I was just thinking that. They're all country boys. This is the whole reason. The main reason I wanted to talk about this was that specifically. Because I was like, when I saw this, I was like, well. Help our show, you know. I was like, I know. I was, dude, I've been saying I've seen it happen with like, because we got to be buddies with Jake Adams before he started any of this.

So I saw his like very slow ascension. And he sort of, he sort of is just who I was like, oh, golf is becoming kind of a thing. But I only saw it through like Jake's world. So it's like, oh, maybe I'm in a bubble. And no, dog, it's fucking, it's so, everybody's John Daly now. Like, John Daly's now the norm instead of the outlier. And I love that. But, no, I love that.

But it pisses me on. No, John Daly's got to be an outlier, brother. Yeah, no. We can table that. I guess what I mean is financially, I would love to see Gough be open to more people. Because it is, I don't like how. Now, granted, you know, the course I play at, it's still redneck. It's just we, you, you can be members because you don't want to have to have a teat time. Let me say this too, as somebody with

a very redneck father, who loves nothing more, the only thing he loves more than hunting and the Lord is complaining about prices. Right. It ain't like, I mean, the truth is hunting and fishing. You still can. It's right. But it's harder to do that with licenses, but then also like public lands are disappearing. Sure. You got to figure out a way to do it private or own your. own or you got to get a lease. It's also expensive to do that other shit now. And then you obviously, you don't have to pour fake deer piss on yourself and put out protein pellets because the fucking deer's got to get protein now.

I saw, I sent you all that picture. But my point is like, all that stuff's expensive unless you're doing it the real, real old school way, but you're had a huge disadvantage. I know, dude. And that's always pissed me off about some of those dudes. Like, I never understood. They wouldn't budge a little bit on their Republican views, even when it came to conservation and like saving trees and stuff.

And I'm like, that one particular area you should care about a fuck ton because of everything you just said. And I guess they're just like, yeah, but trans, therefore, whatever. And what was the other one? Huntfish, golf. What's the like? Yeah. So God.

And is it drink? It's wake up. You're forgetting wake up coffee. Right. He's just doing a bad version of money trees. This is Kendrick NASCAR. Yeah. Yeah.

This is sundown trees. They don't hunt bucks. They don't hunt bucks. So wake up coffee. Everybody knows that. You know, Camo. Actually, you know what? This is good.

Let's go through the order because none of it makes sense. Really, wake up coffee. Well, you got to hunt early. You do have to hunt. So camo, then you climb tree, right? But then he goes straight into wet line. So now he's fishing right after he's climbed a tree. So he didn't get no deer.

He ain't a good hunter. Wet line. And then 18. Now, here's the thing. this is the first time Is that how old the girl he chees? Yeah, see, that's the important part is that he hasn't said the fish hunt golf drink yet,

things. So we're learning about all this information as he's displaying it. When most people hear 18, they don't think of holes of golf, especially in a country song. Well, the first time I heard it, I didn't think that. And I didn't think perverted. I thought it was a nostalgia song because that's all the fuck they do in country anymore.

Right. I thought I was like, okay, we're 18 years old and this is how he was living. And the theme of the song does seem to be I wish I could be 20 forever. True, but that's still bad lyrics because it's just words. It's also a bad, I mean, I guess it's a successful thing in America right now, but that's also just like bad song right in general.

Just like, hey, we're going to write a song about how I wish I could be 20 again. Oh, very original, dude. We haven't heard that one 75 million times. We know it has to go into the psychology of like, you know, a lot of people will be like, you know, as soon as you say, hey, do you remember when the conversation's boring? Like, you know, and that's what a lot of old people do is back in the day, back in the day. And you're right, that also shows its ugly head in terrible songwriting.

It's a bad way to start a conversation. It's a bad way to write a song. Do you all care that it's out of order? Because I thought you were going to say that. No, I did. It don't, that don't hear from it. It should be, you know, it's wake up, coffee, climb tree, then wetline, then golf. So it should be drink, hunt, fish, golf.

That's right. That don't fit the. Also, the drinking there is coffee. Coffee, exactly. He has yet to have. That's gay. Everybody drinks coffee, but, you know, but it's supposed to be beer. But Lou Greene has very, very important deals going on.

Yeah. Coffee's not gay anymore. I mean, black, I forgot about black rifle. Also, dude, everybody knows you're either fishing or you're golfing that day. You're not doing both. You're not doing both. And me and my father-in-law have, we talk about this all the time. Like, he likes golf.

He goes, it's just that if you, if you. You can golf, you can fish. And I'm like, right. And he's like, I'm always going to choose fish. And I was like, I'm always going to choose golf. I have buddies that I play golf with that might not golf that day because they were going fishing with somebody. But you ain't doing both. This age?

Two activities? Three, because you got a hundred morning. Dude, fuck. I didn't even think about this aspect of it. It's just unreasonable to expect someone to do that in one day. You could do too, but you'd have to be committed to it. And you wouldn't want to do it every day. It would barely be fun to do two.

It would be insane and miserable. to do three. That's crazy. Wife and kids just home in your absence. Dying. He's got 16 hours. Every day he has off. It's just coming out of hammered, fucking drunk.

No fish. No deer. What you're going to understand is this is an aspirational song. He just wants to never see his fucking shitty family again. And I've got to be honest, that is the most honest country song I've heard out of pop country in a while is one of these dudes just being like, look, I hate my goddamn family. I'm trapped by the eyes. idea of the Christian family unit.

Guys, y'all are. Well, there was an absolute banger sort of on that subject. They didn't involve the kids, but, you know, um, Billy Joe Shaver. No, uh, I'm going to miss. I'm going to miss this by Paisley. That's a well executed this song. Yeah, but yeah, she did leave him because he wouldn't not fish.

That's fair. Yeah. Yeah, songs fire though. And he did it in a very clever way because he's a good songwriter. It's also 15 or 16 years old. So I think my point stands is like it's still the most honest. Like I've got to give it. to Luke

Brian. I can't believe I just said that. I fucking hate Luke Brian more than almost all of them. Brad Paisley would probably not do that now

because he'd be like that's not me. I'm married to Kelly. Like I wouldn't leave her for a fish. I'm going to miss her. The fishing song is 24 years old.

Thank you. Man, had Dan Patrick in the music video. That's where I learned the Fway's. The Fway. Do the whole thing in that more story.

He just had to say it's heard the year. That's where I heard the phrase in fuego for the first time. That's why I said fways. By the way, guys, you're not going to believe this, but I'm here to tell you, the song gets worse. It genuinely gets worse. I did not know that because I have not made it past this. I'm live right now making it past this because I have the full lyrics pulled-ups of me too.

Um, so verse two, well, I ain't breaking 80, but I'm pretty damn close. So, which he should have. Every day he plays golf and he's not breaking 80 by now, he kind of sucks. Can't shoot a boon and crock it if you never get to go. What? Don't know. I don't know. Can't shoot a boon and crock it.

If you know, Davey Crockett, but shooting a boon and crockett would make you the Mexicans. can't shoot a boon and crock it if you never get to go i want to fill me a good i think there's a gun that's what i that boon and crockett the boon and crockett club is a american non-profit that advocates fair chase hunting uh i was thinking i was like yeah is it a gun is that gun stuff but um i don't know huh i want to you've done here, Corey. What's that? You've

shoved a bubble shot episode into well-read here. That's what I saw. I want to fill me a good one when I set the hook, kick a hangover, kicking it in the woods when I wake up coffee,

camo, climb, tree, wetline, 18, fish, hunt, golf drink. Then that repeats twice. And then the bridge, a little chip, sit, listen to this. A little chip sip, rip a couple lips. That's like the one decent line of wordplay here.

Because it's like if I heard DaBaby say that, I'd be like, that's kind of cool. But it would have to be DeBaby saying that. A little golf sip bear. Rip a couple lips as you, the fish. Yeah, fish lips. Oh, I thought we were zen in or dipping. At first I thought Zenning, but then I was like maybe it's the fish lips. which food a little chip sip rip a couple lips which food plot am i gonna sip makes no sense

sip maybe that's supposed to be is it sit sit i was about say sit maybe it's supposed to be sit and that's a miscarrenner time okay probably sit a little chip sip rip a couple lips i got my goals and they go like this wake up coffee camo climb tree wetline 18 hell yeah 36 y'all grab the drinks all fall all spring all summer long i'll be living it up and living it on a country boy's dream it says i guess but a boon and crockett the boon and crockett scoring system has become the gold standard for measuring the rack of a white-tailed deer apparently okay well i'll admit to just being too gay for that reference yeah i figured i figured it was probably were but um yep i'll take the on that one.

I'll take the bigger L. Your dad didn't take you hunting. This is probably a prime example of why he no longer does. I mean, I knew, I think we all knew it had to have something to do with hunting. Yeah, I was like, is it a gun? Yeah. So anyways, that's the song. I almost, see, I'm not going to, if everybody wants to look it up on their own, that's fine.

But I'm choosing not to look at who wrote it. And because the reason is, I'm certain they just shit something out. they needed the paycheck and times are tough for artists. So I don't want to put somebody on front street and have people lobbed tomatoes at them because it's Luke Bryan's fault for doing it. And I'll say that if they use Day I to write it, but then they got a check that. I'm not okay with it, but it's funny to me. But I bet that the company just used day I didn't pay nobody.

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Rocketmoney.com slash well-read. All right. You all want to keep sitting on country music or you want to switch it up? I had another thing I wanted to ask about. It probably won't interest Drew that much, but I kind of want to know his take on it because of that. Well, you will do that. I know.

I have to say it. You've made the sale. It'll either go quickly and we can move on or circle back to shit on on Luke Brown or whatever. But I actually started, I sort of told Corey last week, Reddit's got these new like subreds and it involves like putting things in tier list and ranking things and all this shit.

It's super hot over there right now. Real hot. And they, one thing they ranked was top 10 global cuisines, right? And a lot of people were not just leaving America out of it, but shitting on the very notion that anyone could believe that America belongs, not only in the top 10, but outside of the very bottom. So basically just not only is Americans from the top 10s, They suck, right?

Well, see, this is why I want to talk about. I think that's asinine. I think even if you only, I know that it's all, it's all based ultimately on something else. But like people, people love Italian food. You know where fucking tomatoes came from, which they fuck all the time over there. That's how they shove them up their butts.

They love them so much. Indians. Central America. They didn't even have tomatoes. So anyway, with all that said, America. Barbecue, right? It's all soul food.

I was going to say barbecue, soul food, and Cajun slash Creole in New Orleans, and fucking just biscuits and gravy. Fuck yeah, dog. Those things right there, and those alone make America clear. Lobster rolls. At least five other countries you put in the top ten, in my opinion. Like everybody but like France, Italy, China, Mexico, who am I forgetting? The Greeks maybe?

Greeks maybe. Indians, maybe. Indians. So I feel like at worst, America's like seventh. I'll tell you what. Anybody from England that was talking that shit can fuck they on butt. Right. Yeah.

Well, they wasn't getting a love. I would have seen that Creole and Cajun falls under the French umbrella. Yeah, but. I know what you're going to say, but I just mean in terms of like, yeah, but we're ranking international cuisine. Like, it's cool you did something else with it, but that style is ours. You can't say we did yours. I mean, you can maybe say. Yeah, but Italy took noodles from fucking.

China, you know what I mean? Yeah, but we're not, well, anyway, soul food, great point. The biscuit gravy, the breakfast? Unreal. Who is doing breakfast better than I? No one. No one's doing breakfast better than that. No, and like, I love, you know, Spain and all that shit, but like they probably,

they got fish for breakfast and I love fish, but that ain't it. You know what I mean? Spain's got like top of. Fish is for lunch. There was another one you said, though, that, uh, You said soul food. You talked about biscuits. Barbecue.

Barbecue. Yeah. Come on. Come on, dog. It's just because, and this is true of soul food, too, I think it's because our best food is going for a different thing than the best French cuisine. Yeah, French, they're like, right. They're like, but I'm not, but I'm just saying like, I think the goal.

I think the goal seems different. Right. Yeah. we ain't all pretentious and up our own ass about it, Drew. Is that what you mean? Makes it dead harder. Our cuisine is awesome because we are a melting pot and things have come together here, whereas a lot of countries are very, you know, fucking monosaturated,

whatever fucking words I'm trying to think of. Yeah, their fats and their... Bro, even just stand... How about at least one of just standard American... The cheeseburger dog... Dude, come on. Oh, I was going to bring up cheeseburger. Bro.

What are we talking about? Cheeseburger and just fried chicken specifically. Right. Like, I know the Koreans be doing whatever the fuck they're doing, and I love it. That's cool. But fried chickens, black folk, that's us. Well, oftentimes, and we've talked about this when we talk about the South. We have talked about this a lot.

It goes all the way back to the book. There's something uncomfortable about an American white being like, hey, fried chicken's ours. And it's like, well, no, you know what? But then there's something even more uncomfortable about being like, so then do black people not count? I mean, we can do a black American sub-genre, but then it gets weird, like, why are we doing that? I'm with you. I don't know, I don't know, like, where we can go with the conversation,

but, like, I'm completely with you. I think we should probably be six. It's particularly, it's specifically black people in America, too, because, like, Africa's food don't bang. You know what I mean? Mediterranean-African food bangs real hard, brother. Yeah, but not like our hitters. Not like our hitters.

But there's this thing where it's like, Like, Morocco, Ethiopia. I'm not saying it ain't good, but it ain't like our headers. People have made, like, successful social media accounts and YouTube channels and stuff out of the idea that, like, you know, like the ones where they take British high schoolers, whatever they call high schools over there, and they give them like biscuits and gravy, for example. And this thing where it's like, they look at. And they all come in their knickers. What is that? Yeah, but they're like grossed out by it.

Oh, whoa. What is that? You put a gravy on a biscuit. You know, whatever. But then they start breaking it down. They're like, and they call it a biscuit. Right. It's really like a Bishamel.

And they come their knickers, like you said, Joe. They love it. And so it's like, listen. That's hurting us a lot, I think. People don't, they think it's all fat and gross and dumb. They've never tried it. It is, but that hits. Right.

Right. I know. I agree. Of course. Well, and a lot of French food I found out when I actually started diving into it, is that too. So fat. Yeah, dude, so fat. The French paradox, man.

The French paradox, man. the French paradox. They just get away with it. I'm so mad. he's so mad guys i want to say one more thing about the cagin creole thing i actually think it belongs under the subgenre of mediter i'm sorry not mediterranean caribbean did caribbean have its own like that's us too i'm not sure and i don't want to offend anyone from like jamaica i'm not sure if you should like is jamaica its own entry or do we just count caribbean food as a whole

because jamaica's us too i mean right fucking bangs i literally ate jerk chicken right before we started recording that. Hey, we've got a Jamaican spot that just opened not that long ago and I went down there and they had oxtail fetichini. Yeah. Because. Because.

Literally stomach just rumbled. That's us. No, that's a good point, Drew. You're probably right. Well, that's what they, it's called, you know, Creole or because of, you know, it's a mix up of a lot of those different. It is French influence, but also Caribbean influence and African influence.

It's also Caribbean slaves. Like, you know what I mean? Like the slave trade is the spice trade too. Yes. Let's just go ahead and say that. I'm not even trying to be woke. It's just that if you're trying to like pin down cuisine, if you're talking about Indian food, like that's newer. Like it's great. I'm not shitting on it. But like when the fucking, they got a lot of them spices from China and they're like, these motherfuckers don't know what to do with them.

We do. Curry blew up in Great Britain. Of course. It belongs to India, but that's what happens. So it's tough to talk about this shit and not get into all that. Of course. And the idea that America don't belong. because like, all right, let's do

Michelin Star Restaurants. I bet we got a bunch of them. So many. I bet we probably have the most, don't you think? Dude, so many. I would say, I would assume that France. Yeah, because of how big we, yeah, and I. Between San Francisco and New York, like.

The concentration is probably higher than a France in Italy, but pure volume, I guarantee it's us because. You know, they concentrate so hard they make camps about it. I do feel like to, let's talk about ingredients. Part of what makes this. hit. It is France. France has the most Michelin stars. God damn it. We got to be getting close because, bro, in

Chattanooga. Japan is number two. Italy is number three. Yeah, I mean, Japan, it does make some. They go, you know, take it real serious. They go hard as fuck. Yeah, no, they like, you're like raised from birth to just do the rice at this particular place. I heard you

don't do this fish correctly. Everyone in the restaurant will die. Yeah. Dude, I heard, I heard, I heard, I heard heard, and you would have dishonored your entire family. I heard Segura talking about that. He was mentioning somebody was like when you were in Japan, how good was

the Japanese food? And he's like, oh, well, dude, obviously amazing. He said, but what they don't tell you is that no matter what the ethnicity is like Italian, American fit, steaks, whatever, theirs is also better than every other part of the world. Wait, did we amend the steakhouse? Yeah, that's us. Dude, come on.

That's us. Fuck this list. That's what I'm not. Dog. That's what I'm saying, dude. That's what I'm saying. also great you trying to get steak in Portland at the titty place or we can yeah yeah just generally yes the steak sounds like yeah but yeah let's go to also maybe maybe one where the steak is the headliner I mean first of all that was a great steak that place only works because the steak's good but second of all yeah you can only do that with like four people or more you can't go to the like you

know I mean or alone and not tell anybody Dude, you eat a steak alone at a strip club. Save my number. You know what I mean? I have like three of them. You keep switching from them. I put it in my favorites. Okay, there is a restaurant in Portland that, okay, it was Russian for a long time,

and then it became Ukrainian. Oh, boy. Through siege? My understanding is they are Ukrainian. It's just that a Ukrainian restaurant don't play like on Google as the same as a Russian restaurant. Right. I want to know if Russia is on the list, and there's a reason. I'm asking.

T-Sg gotten distracted by. They are big in the T-room world. Is there a Russian entry on that list? Well, so the way that it works is like basically, it's like the question is proposed and then people give answers and the answers are upvoted. So there's a bunch of different, like, opinions. I'm sure at least somebody probably had Russian, but I didn't see it pop up much, is what I'm saying. And now I'm furious all over again.

You're talking about the Michelin Star list? Oh, no, I'm sorry. I'm talking about this Reddit thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I was answering. You're saying you're furious because they're not on there? Yeah. Russian food is fucking incredible.

And maybe this is like... I like porogies. We went to that Russian place in Queens that time, and it was really good. Yeah. But I don't... I'll take you this place in Portland if we can get there, dude. It's mind-blowing what they're doing with creams and potatoes. Okay.

I mean, I believe you. I just wouldn't think, you know, the peasant babushkas, you know. You got it like that. Yeah, but let's go back to what we just discussed. Why that made me a little hard? Like, it's always the poor, son. Yeah. It is.

Lobster. Started out as poor food. Man, what a trick. It's so funny, too, because, like, everybody, at this point, everyone knows that. Like, oh, yeah, it used to be poor food because it's easy to get, but they just told these people it was a delicacy. So it's like, we all know that now. So can you give it to us for 20?

I think it's the way around. I think what happened is, uh, The pores are like, this sucks. You guys don't want to eat these bugs. They are disgusting, rich people. Right. Don't even, we'll just, we'll eat these bottom feeders. You guys eat the fish.

We'll eat the lobster. Well, per the story that I heard, which is, I assume, apocryphal now that you're saying, now that you've posited a better theory, was that like, in the New England area or whatever, some British aristocrats were coming over to visit this port or whatever. And they were like, we have to put out really. good food for them. And they didn't have shit. So they just gave them the lobster,

but told them like, this is a very special thing, you know, just to like gild the lily. And they were just like, God damn, this fucking is. And so then they were like, oh, wow. Did you guys see that thing just like that where they created a wine with a backstory that they made up? And it was this founder who's won a bunch of wine awards.

It was his pet project. and it was a 10-year thing, and they were just pouring regular-ass wine into it. And it fooled the Somaliers? Of course it did. You should talk about this on P-O-A. Oh, yeah. Which is maybe not that specific thing,

but other versions of that where they've done blind tests to prove that Somalis don't know shit. We've talked about it. It's like a pet interest of mine. I literally have a stand-up bit about it right now. And it's like, okay, because it's like how many people even care about wine.

But like... Let me tell you how true it is, too. It just bothers me. It's a thing with me. The whole line thing. We did a whole episode talking about how full of shit they are, mentioned all the times that we saw them get duped. We read some of their reviews and they were terrible.

And again, we shit on them for an hour and a half. And here's how I know that everyone agrees with that and even Somaliers won't argue with it. Bro, we get, anytime we make any type of assertion about anything, we get emails of people being like, no, no, no. I'm fuck it. We had a, dude, we shit on. on this water Somalia one time

and we got a response to that from the water Somaliay. The information gets out there. We've never had an email where they said bullshit to the Somalié thing. Not once. It's horse poo poo. The water smolier was like, y'all are right?

No. He offered to come on the show. And I forgot until just now. Ghosted the water show. Until just now I forgot. He was like, I'll come on there and tell you all about it if you guys really want to know. And we were so nash.

nasty and he was so nice. Yeah, naturally. That's so funny. He's like just telling his wife. You know, he's not going to be on the podcast. I'm actually really big fans of theirs. Well, we, it's,

it's been giving back to us at least a couple of times because I don't know if you've ever seen the 10 to fish guy, Drew. Yeah. The British 10 to fish reviewer. Well, I don't know if you ever noticed. He's like British, he's like a Cho doppelganger.

You ever noticed? I didn't, I didn't even know. A choppelganger? A choppelganger? I didn't even like notice until I was just watching him review fish on the other side of the living room. And he wears a fias, you know. And Katie was all the way across the living room. And she goes, why is Corey wearing that silly little hat?

Right. No one's ever asked that question. Right. And I just like, we all know why. With new eyes and cracked up. And I was like, he does look like court. So I, and it fits. So I tried to get him on there.

And he responded, you know, it was like, you know, that sounds of interest. What's that old chap or whatever. Yeah. And I told him. I was like, it'll be totally cool. I promise. No, gotcha. We love your shit. It's going to be fun. And then he just, that was it. And for the record, we're not mad at him.

Couldn't get the 10 fish guy. Yeah. I wouldn't have done it either. I don't blame him at all. Yeah, the water Somalié. Yeah. Maybe he would water Somalia know each other. What is the definition? It's possible. He just truly is me and forgot.

Obviously, it's not just wine is what you're saying, right? Yeah, or we, like, I thought it was. I thought it was just wine. I'm certain that that word specifically means to wine, but then somebody did the same thing for water, and they're like, I just say some all yea, you can put the new thing in front of it. Let's say, it's like, you know, French word meaning is pretentious about a thing. Now, I mean, according to Google, yeah, it's a wine professional. But I guess if you want to start treating water like wine, then you, you,

just so people know what you mean, you're like, I'm a water Somalia, you know. We used to have a word middle school we'd call these people. I pay a lot of money right now to see a bit that probably exists that was on BET, Comic View, Circa, I'll say, 04. I'm a goddamn pussy Somalia. Yeah, I do. That would just be fire. Bernie Mac probably had one that just didn't get taped.

Well, his, one of his most famous lines is, don't have no goddamn, Bernie, the pussy tastes like punk and pie? I said, bitch. God damn question like that. I ain't never had no pumpkin pie. Kick it. Yeah. I love pussy. I love it.

I'll be glad and they put that shit in cans. I'll be bonnet by the pan. Imagine pussy and cans. Motherfuckers be shoplifting and shit. Yeah. What are you doing, Bernie? I'm tired. I'm going to get six pack of pussy.

I'm going in. Kick it. Yeah. All right. I ain't waiting. I'm going to. Amazing. I'll rest in peace.

Rest in pace, too. He's one of them that's like, I'd love to hear many of Bernie Max's takes on, you know, the past 10 years. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. I would too. I sometimes think a lot of the good ones died because they felt it coming, dude. Yeah. I mean, you've seen Cat Williams lately?

I mean, he's been vindicated by saying the truth's coming out. The truth is coming out, Shannon. But he looks like a shrivel rat. Like it's killing him. Yeah. What has happened to the world. For the most part, when I think of, I wish so-and-so is still alive so I could hear their take on that. It's most of the time a black person.

I usually never think. Just Patrice and Bernie Mac. Yeah, I never think. I wonder what that old black guy would have said. George Carlin is an exception to that. He is an exception. But other than that, it's like, no, I wouldn't want to hear what Bill Hicks. I don't want to hear that.

I would be interested in Hicks maybe. I would be a little nervous. Same with Norm. Norm played it close to the best anyway. I mean, he lived through some of this and played it close to the vest, but Norm's one of those where I'm like, maybe I don't want to know what Norm would have to say. Well, here's the thing.

I think Norm was really good at knowing that you don't want to know. You know what I mean? I think it was kind of its creed. I mean, most people who, you know, hold him up as their favorite comic, that's a big part of it for them. Yeah. It's just the jokes. That has, yeah.

Yeah, Mark Norman and Sam really knows guys. It's like that's their philosophy is, yeah, they're not supposed to know. A lot of times, you know, when people go like, nobody should know your politics or blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Most every time I'm just like, okay, that's just a, that's just a fucking excuse for you not to have to take any accountability. And like in these times, you, you of course should be saying whatever you could say. But for some reason, with Norm and similar dudes like him, I'm like, I am glad, though, that even if they were on my team, even like even best case scenario, like, I kind of am glad that we have that figure that we can all. discuss and that never has to be one of the reasons. Does that make sense? It does to me. I mean, the thing I've always said about Norm is until the last two specials, I think his problem was,

not that he didn't talk about politics, but you didn't know anything about it. Anything. I think his best joke is the suicide joke. And I think it is a turn from his old school way where it's not politics, but you do know how he feels about a specific. He has dread over something. And it's about him personally and his point of view and perspective, not just. just what's the funniest thing to say. And it's my favorite joke of his and probably one of my sixth favorite of all time. And another one, I think, on the same special,

which was very personal, as when he was talking about his uncle losing his bowel with cancer, which was phenomenal. So funny. It's so goddamn funny. Yes. It was tight there for a minute,

but in the end it was the bowel cancer. Didn't he call it like a draw? He says, he goes, well, you know, if you die, then the cancer dies too. at best it's a it's a draw. Yep, yeah, because it's what people say is they lost their fight with cancer. Yeah, yeah, but the cancer dies.

He also had the part where he goes, they always talk about it like it's some courageous, like, oh, I was fighting, and it's like, I was hanging out with my uncle. He was just sitting there scratching his balls, you know? Wasn't putting up much of a fight. I don't know. And it turned out, he had cancer like that whole time, right? Not, I don't think during that special. I don't know, man.

Really? I feel like, I feel like, that was like 15 years ago. I know, I think he was battling it for like a long time. He just went to remission every now and then. Yeah, I think so. I didn't even have an uncle. That's right. That's what I'm saying.

You're right. I think that that's what people, like that's the. He gamed out his life. That's the assumption now is like looking back a lot of those things. It's like, oh, he was talking about himself that whole time or whatever. Yeah. And it makes sense because that's what he wouldn't do. I mean, that was part of it.

And I think that's why you respect it coming from Norman. It's not don't talk about politics. He didn't talk about himself much. But I'm just saying I actually liked it when he started to. But now we look back and you think to yourself, oh, these times were about himself. Whereas his memoir is not. Right.

His memoir is such a fucking masterclass in hitting. It's so great. There's so many passages where he just mentions Adam Eaget's sucking dicks. And it's hilarious because only 12 people know who Adam Eaget. I mean, they're all comedians. Like, I'm not saying he's not well known. It's more than 12, but I hear you. For sure, but like at the time, like, that was a Simon & Schuster book, and he's like,

I'm going to make this running joke about a guy that most of the people reading this will have no idea just to say that my buddy was sucking dick under a bridge. I mean, you know, who among us? Right. It's like that thing you sent yesterday, right, or Mark sent about in what we do in the shadows. Yeah. They just put their buddy in that movie. It's great. He didn't.

He kind of knew, but not really. Like, you know, they told him he was going to be in the background of it, but he was actually basically the main character in the... Another example of the whole time. That's hilarious. Another example of how crazy it is what you can do in the editing room with something. Right. With that one, I mean, yes, that's definitely 100%.

I think about that all the time. People talk about the amount of... Because I be writing scripts and stuff, and I'm always like, well, no, we'll need all of this. Right. But it's like they end up filming hours of shit for just a regular movie and cut it down to 90 and you can have two whole different versions of the same movie.

That's all wild. But with that, with the conceit of that movie, right? It's like documentary style. So that dude, you know, if they're like, basically it's like, hey, so obviously there's going to be cameras rolling all the time because we're doing this documentary thing. But you won't be in it. If we talk to you, just say

whatever you want to say back. Like you don't have any lines. Just respond. Whatever you would say in real life. And, you know, but we're going to be filming everything all the time. You know what I'm saying? It's like easier to the ball in that way because of the nature of the sort of setup of that movie, I feel like, you know. It's like being on a reality TV show set or something. And I'm just, I'm exclusively going to write documentary spoofs for that reason because it'll just be way easier to film because continuity doesn't matter.

Way harder to edit though. Oh yeah, for sure, but I won't do that. I'll let Mark do it. Mark. We love that shit. All right. Where the fuck are you all going to be this? weekend.

Portland's together. Who's going to be with me in Portland? I have a special treat for all you PNWers. Well, just the Oregon part of it. I'll be in Seattle after that was Caleb Signing, who's also awesome. So yeah, special treat for the entire Pacific Northwest and the next two weeks.

And then I've got Florida and the Carolina is a bunch of other places after that all at traycrouter.com. Please subscribe to my newsletter for fun stuff. Corey Wright's for You.com. Thank you all for listening to the, oh, listen to up putting on airs and weekly skews. You don't grab your bag.

Jerry, anybody got nothing else going on? Oh, my bad, dog. It's all good. Honestly, I kind of thought,

I was like, yeah, that seems like the thing. I'll be at the CMA Fest, Saturday on Sunday, June 5th, and 6th, hosting,

I'll put it up, I don't remember where we're at, but that's going to be a fun time. We're going to have some bands, some country music at the Sony music tent. I'll be at Bonarue, the week after that, doing Wook Court on Saturday at 11 a.m.,

which is not ideal. But if you show up, we will have a blast. I guarantee it. I've already got the cock of justice, which is what my gavel is, which is a giant dildo. Corey Perry is going to join me. Saxton's going to join me. We're going to have a good time. A little bit.

Thank you. God bless you. Good night and skew. Fart. But, dick.