We're All Insane - Assaulted by a Famous Rapper

Episode Date: June 5, 2023

CW: This episode contains descriptions of SA, DV, and victim-blaming. Within the music industry, a disturbing reality unfolds as predatory individuals exploit the adoration and vulnerability of young female fans. These cases reveal the dark underbelly of the industry, where the power dynamics between musicians and their admirers are exploited. Young girls, captivated by their idols and entranced by the music, find themselves subjected to the manipulative tactics of those who should be their role models. This egregious exploitation underscores the urgent need for heightened awareness and protective measures. It serves as a stark reminder of the dangers lurking behind the scenes, highlighting the importance of recognizing and challenging these predatory behaviors. By shedding light on these distressing realities, society can work towards dismantling the harmful power dynamics within the music industry.  Sexual assault cases are often dismissed by law enforcement, perpetuating a culture of indifference and injustice. Survivors face skepticism, victim-blaming, and institutional barriers when seeking justice. This systemic failure allows perpetrators to evade accountability, sending a distressing message that sexual assault is not taken seriously. Comprehensive training for law enforcement, specialized units, improved victim support services, and a shift in attitudes are necessary to rectify this pervasive issue. Society must prioritize the well-being of survivors, hold perpetrators accountable, and dismantle the barriers that prevent justice. Only then can we create a safer and more equitable future. Cher’s socials: Instagram.com/cherlizcohen instagram.com/survivorshome https://www.tiktok.com/@cherlizcohen If you have a unique story you'd like to share on the podcast, fill out this form: https://forms.gle/ZiHgdoK4PLRAddiB9 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey guys, it's me Devorah. I just dropped an all new bonus episode inside my new subscription channel, We're All Insane Plus. This week's bonus episode is called My Brain was slipping into my spine. Listen now by subscribing to We're All Insane Plus inside your Spotify or Apple Podcasts app or go to we're all insane.com. Hi, I'm Cher and I was sexually assaulted by a famous rapper. So my brother, he's a bit older than me. He's 28. He's always been in the music industry and like growing up he always took me to concerts and like when social when like musically was a thing and vine he took me to all the conventions like I was always the person that like had these passes to all these shows and this rapper was in the area um and I told

my brother hey I want to go like could you get tickets like I know you know his manager like whatever it is like just to what one of his shows just to one of his shows he was like performing in new York and like a smaller venue and it was like a last minute show too he announced it like a few weeks before and he got me tickets and I went and I went and and just me and my brother. It was a really good time. He was able to get me backstage to meet this rapper. And the rapper was really nice.

Hey, how are you? Ask me how old I was like two different times, which I thought was weird. But I was just like not thinking of that. Took a photo with him. He hung out with my brother and I for a little bit. And that was it. I got to enjoy the show. So without hesitation, posted the photos.

I was so proud that I met this prison. I was so excited because a lot of people in like my town were obsessed with him. Yeah. Go back home I posted. same minute that I posted, he liked the photo, that was it. A week or two goes by and he followed me on Instagram and I was so excited about it. I was telling all my friends about it. I was like, this person just followed me.

Like, I can't believe it. A few hours later, he followed me and messaged me. And he was like, hey, how old are you again? So he's a rapper. Yes. And then does he live in New York or like I guess is all over because? I would say he was born in Granada Hills, California. Okay.

And I think now or after that he was living in Los Angeles. Got it. But he was on tour. He was doing like a mini tour because his album came out. And what like, are you going to say the ages? Like he was, I think when this happened, he was 21 or 22. I was 15. Okay.

So I had just turned 15 the month before. Got it. Okay. Yeah. So I was a kid. Yeah. You know, I was living my best life. So he messaged you.

Yeah. He messaged me and he asked me how old I was. And I was like, hey, like I'm 15. And he was like, oh, like, you're from New York, right? And I was like, yeah, I'm from here. And I was like trying to like, control my excitement. I was like, I can't seem like a weirdo. Fan girl. Yeah, like a fan girl. Yeah. And he was like, oh, like, I need friends.

Like you seem like a genuine person. Like you look like you'd be a great friend. And I was like, oh my God, like yeah, like we could be friends. Like I was so excited. I was like he wants be my friend. I gave him my number and he started texting me all the time. And within like the first two weeks of him texting me, he asked me for my age maybe 15 times. And I think the reason why he kept asking was he was expecting the answer to change. Okay. And you told him that. a truth in the beginning. I told him the truth. Yeah, always 15. I looked at, I had braces. I looked 15. I had a baby face. And he just kept asking. And apart from that, he would be flirty, but not too flirty at the

start. Like, he would always just be like, oh, what are you doing? He'd FaceTime me from tour. He, you know, like, he went live on Instagram. He would guest me all the time. Like, he wasn't, like, hiding it. Okay. It was like, he was very open about it. When the tour ended, he just started dating a different famous musician. Okay. And I stopped getting responses from him when he unfollowed me. I was like, I don't care, whatever. I was a little upset. I was like, damn, like I was a fan, like, whatever.

And I guess there was a music festival in Long Island. I forgot it was called, but it happens every year in the summer. It's like a summer festival. And he was performing. The day before the concert, I got a follow back on Instagram. And I get a text, hey, you're from New York, right? From him again? From him.

He reached out when he was in New York. And I was like, I didn't answer. I was upset. I was like, he unfollowed me, whatever. Like, now he's back. But also like you already know I'm from New York. And if you didn't remember that, fuck you. Exactly.

And like he obviously went out of his way to like, it's just my Instagram bio that was in New York. Like my high school was in my bio. Like, you know what I mean? But he messaged me and I was like, yeah, I'm from here. He's like, do you want to see me? Like, can I see you? I was like, you have a girlfriend.

And this was like a very public relationship that he had. Like they put out a song together. They like for joining each other on tour. Like he was seen at like her parents' house. Like her parents were very successful as well. it wasn't like a little like fling they were open and I told him that and he was like she doesn't have to know she flies in tonight like just come see me and I was like I can't come to the city like my mom won't let me like I'm 15 my mom's like you're not going to the city at like p.m like stay home and he was

like what if like I pay for your Uber and I was like you're not paying for I was like I can't I wish do you want to come to Brooklyn and he was like I can't do that my manager won't let me and like that was it next day I have like screenshots of everything whatever I sent it to my friend and I was like I was so confused all his messages begin to unscense to me in the morning. And I'm blocked by his girlfriend in the morning. And I was just like, okay, good. I was like, whatever. Like, I didn't care. I was 15. I'm glad she found out. As she should, like, go through his phone. Like, you can't trust men. But that happened. And it was just like radio silent for like two months. They break up. It was a big public breakup.

He refollows me on Instagram. Because he followed me that week. Refollowed me, starts messaging me. He's like, I'm so depressed. Like, she cheated on me. Like, I need a friend. Like, I was such a bad friend to you like I need a friend and I was like I'm like a little confused I was like okay I was like I'll be your friend like don't worry about it like it's fine this time around he begins calling me every single day he calls me like high out of his mind to the point where like I can't even understand what he's saying and I didn't know how to react like I just like make up like I would just respond to what he's saying because I'm like I don't know what else to say like he's mumbling into the phone and he's like talking talking and like it's just like it never went anywhere and he started

texting me every time he was hot and he was hot and he's like he's talking to he would like text me very flirtatious to the point where like it made me uncomfortable and I told him it was making me uncomfortable um and he just didn't care he didn't give a shit like he just continued to do it and I remember there was one day where he was like why aren't you flirting with me like I'm flirting with you I was like I don't like I don't know what to say like I was like I don't know what you want me to tell you like whatever it is and he was like how old how old are you again and I told him and he was he didn't care he was like I like I don't care I don't care and I was like that's a little weird and beforehand i had girls messaging me because they saw him in my comments

and they were like are you talking to him like watch out watch out and i was like no like he's just my friend like he's my friend don't worry about it like i was like what am i gonna say because i didn't see him as anything else right and this is when i was i used to do musically i don't know if you remember that i was on a musically i went on tour for musically i was friends with like a lot of these musers whatever so i was in l.a a lot the first time i went to l.a was with my brother and then after with my friends whatever it is um i went with one one of my friends and he messaged me hey like are you here like let's hang out like I'll take you to dinner like let's go out me and my friends you like it won't be like anything crazy

and I was like okay like yeah like could my friend come was he's like don't bring your friend like he's like I like my manager has to approve everyone yeah and I look so he approved a 15 I was like right didn't make sense to me but I was like okay also he didn't have a manager at this point so I don't know he was just didn't want my friend to come so I went to his house and all his friends were there like it wasn't like weird in any way way and he wanted to go out to dinner. We went to Saddle Ranch, the weirdest restaurant in the world. We went there and we were all eating.

And the entire time he has his hand on my thigh. And like, he's like touching me in front of like paparazzi. Like he does not care. And I'm just like so uncomfortable. And there's a few other YouTubers there weirdly enough. Like some people from like the David Doberk friend group. And they're all taking Snapchats. And I'm just like going like this.

Like I don't want to be seen because if my brother sees me with him, it's game over. Yeah. So I'm like trying to be hidden. I was like I don't want anyone to see. Because you were still 15 at this one. Like my brother knew, like, he'd be like, what the hell are you doing with him? Right. And like, I knew I was wrong for him.

But I was also like just like excited that he wanted to be my friend. Like that's something I could acknowledge. I was like, you know what? Like he wanted to go out to eat. Like introduce me all these YouTubers. Like, it was a good time. But like one thing with me is like, and he would always tell me I love how like you don't care like about clout. Like you never let me post you like, well, I'm 15.

Like you didn't even want to post me. So don't even begin to lie. Yeah. But like at the whole dinner, like I'm just hiding my face from all the cameras. I was like, you could just see me in all the videos going like this. because I just don't want to be seen by anyone. I don't want any one to assume anything. I don't want to get shitted on by his fans.

Like I was very much like hiding, even knowing him. And we went to dinner and after he wanted to go to one of his producers' house and that's where it began like getting really weird. We went to his producer's house and his producer's there. The producer's girlfriend, she was really sweet. And it was him and me. And the producer's like smoking. He offered me smoke.

And I was like, I don't really smoke. Like, no, thank you. And he's like, no, just smoke. Like, don't be a pussy. Like, you act like older than you are, like, smoke. And I was like, okay, I smoke. And I'm a very paranoid smoker. I have the worst anxiety ever.

And when I smoke, the first thought that goes through my head is like, my mom's going to find me. Even though I'm like, across the country, I'm like, my mom's going to show up right now and I'm going to be grounded for the rest of my life. And he, like, he had me smoking, whatever. And I got tired immediately. I was like, I need to leave. Like, I want an Uber home.

And he's like, I'll just drive you. And I was like, you're, like, drunk out of your mind. You're not driving me. And then he looks, so I'll get you an Uber. And I was like, okay, so order me the Uber. And he was like, no, like, you have to come back to my place first. And I was like, I'm not doing this right now. Like, I Ubered my cell phone.

Like, I didn't talk to him for the rest of that trip. I was really uncomfortable. I ended up going back another time to L.A. And he wanted to meet up. And this time, like, I, like, was at his house for longer. Like, we didn't go out. He's, like, just come over. Like, I don't want to go out.

Like, my car, like, I don't have license plates yet. Like, a bunch of excuses, basically. We went to his house and, like, I was sitting with his house. his producer friends. And like his producer friends like always knew it was weird. He has one of like his main people that live in the house. He's a DJ as well. Every time I would be over and he would hear me upset or like hear like this rapper yelling

at me. He would like call me into the hallway and be like, are you okay? Like do you need anything? And this guy was friends with my brother. So I got backstage to the show because of this guy. Yeah. So I feel like in a way he felt like he needed to like be there for me because he knew my brother. But he would always check up on me. He'd like, do you need anything? Like, you don't have to smoke.

If you don't want to. Like, if you want to go home, I'll drive you. And like, that's why I even felt comfortable there in the first place. I was like, if anything happens, he's here. Like, I'm safe. Like, he's here. And whatever, like, that week was also his birthday. So I went back home. It wasn't, like, weird that day. He wanted me to come back the day of his birthday. And I came back. And that was, I think, like, when everything literally began going to shit. I went there for his birthday and the day prior with I was doing he was trying to sleep with me and I was like no no like I don't like not yet like your birthday whatever like I don't want to like whatever like whatever. Like he's like we're not leaving my house until we fuck. He's like we're gonna fuck then we could go wherever you want. And I was like how like I was a virgin. I never had sex with anyone. I think the most I've ever done was like kiss someone. I was like in a very uncomfortable spot and I was like you know what I'll just like push him off and push it off until like we leave eventually. Yeah. So we were like in his room like we're like we were like watching a movie and he kept trying to make a move on me and I was like no like not yet like I don't want to and at first he respected it he was fine with it um an hour later this was like really weird he brought me like into his living room and the guy that always checks up on me is there the other producer and like two other guys don't know who they are and he's like let's smoke and I was like no like I don't want to smoke I'm gonna get tired I don't want to now I've like now that I've smoked the amount that I have I'm not like obsessed with it but like I know how I am when I'm high yeah whatever I'm ever I smoked that day was not weed.

I don't know what it was. I was hallucinating. I was on the ceiling. Like I was like slow dancing in his apartment, like his house. Like I don't know what that was, but it wasn't weed. Yeah. Like, and I took one hail. Like I shouldn't have been like going like that.

I shouldn't have been like off my shit like that. Yeah. Like I didn't even know what I was doing. Like I remember slow dancing. He was telling me we're going to get married one day. Like I'm going to marry you. This is going to be our song. And I'm just like I couldn't even speak back to him.

Right. Like words weren't coming out. And we eventually go back to his room and he brings a bunch of beers if you want to drink. And I was like, this is all the same night. This is his birthday day. Okay. Yeah. So like this, like I got to him in the morning.

He's like, we're not leaving until we're fucking. Right. Okay. And then we smoke eventually. Okay. And now here we are. And like this was like the, I would say it's the longest day of my life. Like right.

Like I felt like it wasn't ending because of whatever it is that he gave me. And we go back to his like room and he's drinking. We were watching his own concert on the TV. This is the weirdest thing. he wanted to watch his concert. We were watching it. His Mexico show, don't know why.

We were watching it. And he was like trying to talk to me. Like he kept trying to be touching. And I was like, no, no, no, whatever. And eventually he just like, I was like, I guess like spaced out. And he just started like pinching at my skin. And I was like, what are you doing? I'm like, what are you doing?

This isn't even. I've never seen anyone do this. And he's like, why won't you have sex with me? And I was like, because I don't want to. And he's like, but you came here. Like, you lied to me like you're really going to lie to me like that. I was like, what are you saying? I was like, no one lied to you.

Like, what, he's like, you're really not going to fuck me. Like, I, like, brought you here. Like, I picked you up from your Airbnb and you're not going to fuck me. And I was like, it was never like an established thing. Like, I'm not ready. Like, I'm just not ready. And he's like, I don't get it. Like, have you never had sex before?

And I was like, I don't want to talk about this. Like, I was like, we just like not like, we're fine. Let's just watch a movie. And that's when he became like very aggressive because he was mad that I guess he wasted his whole day with me and he wasn't getting anything. And he was like, it's my birthday. like this could be my birthday gift like you didn't get me anything like come on like don't be annoying and he kept trying to pressure me whatever and then he began kissing me as you know what if i could

kiss him maybe he won't try anything else like he just needs something like he needs something and he'll stop and he started trying to take off my clothes and i was like d like i don't like i don't want to do this like please like whatever it's fine and he's like just let me for five minutes and i'll never ask you again and i was like i don't like i don't like i don't know like i'm like do you even have protection he's like no and i like so like no like that was like my scapegoat out i was like don't have protection. Like, I'm not doing this. I can't get pregnant. So did any part of you, like, did you, like, because I know that you said, like, in your mind, you viewed him as a friend. But, like, did any part of you, like, look at him, like, I guess in more of, like, that, like,

that, like, flirty physical way? Like, it's weird because he was flirting in physical before his birthday. Right. I just always, like, forgave him. I'm like, maybe this is, like, the thing. Like, right? Like, maybe he's just being nice. Like, I always had excuses for him until this day. So, like, you think you liked him more as a friend than, like, okay. I think, like, I'll never a lie. Like I was so excited that he wanted to be friends with me. Like I was like 15 years old. I was like this rapper. Like my friends like loved him. I thought it was so cool. I was even hanging out with him. And I like looked up to him. Like I remember like there was one night I was having the worst panic attack ever and he stayed on the phone with me for like an hour. Like I was like

looking at those things and I was like he would never hurt me like he's not being creepy. I'm just definitely taking it the wrong way. I think too like being 15. I mean I was doing my thing at 15. But at the same time, if you have no sexual experience, really, it's like, how do you really know? How do I, like, know what I mean? It's like, I feel like, too, even if you did like him, that's still a, I mean, I remember looking back when I first was going to lose my virginity, that's a, it's a scary thing. It's not something you're just like, close off, let me hop on because you have no experience. So it's like, what do you really know about it? Yeah. Okay, I just, I just was curious if you liked him as like a friend or if you, like, kind of had a crush, but like, like, I would say

I liked him as a friend, but I had like a celebrity crime. Right. Like the fan girl kind of thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But am I, is he ever going to leave Haley for me? No. Right. Okay. Like, you know, it was kind of like, I feel like, I looked up to him because like, wow, like, he's like this person. And at the time I was like in social media and I was like, oh, wow, like he even told me like, like, let's collaborate. Like, I'll fly you out. Like, he kind of fed into like all that social media stuff with me and, like, allowed it to happen. And I feel like, I feel like, I always say this. Like, I feel like if I had like a public school experience or like that type of experience, I would have maybe seen. it differently or like stepped away but I grew up like I did online school I didn't really have friends

like when he reached out to me I was like oh fuck like this is like such a good friend to start with like yeah like I was on virtual school I feel like all my friends who were like in public school like they had their first kiss in public school they had like they slept with the first person like whatever like my first kiss was a kid kid kid in like Philadelphia like because we're on tour like no one just has that yeah like no one just has their first kiss in like a different state for no like yeah makes sense so i feel like my whole perception of like relationships and love and whatever was so like and even friendships for that matter yeah because like everything was just like with music like everyone was friends with each other like everyone was like dating each other for like the bit

yeah like i remember i was talking to this kid once and he was like oh like my dad said we should do this like his dad was his manager like his dad said like he should post up he should comment on another girl's picture and like startup stuff so i could get on tea pages i'm like this is not normal right I was like, my sister and her boyfriend would never do all this. Like it just, I think it just, like, fucked up, like, my whole perception of love and relationships and friendships and friendships. And, like, I never had friends where I live. I always had to fly to places. Like, I'm in Maryland right now.

My friend Calvin's from here. Like, I didn't have friends in New York. Right. So he was, like, saying, I'll fly you. Wow. I'll come to you. Like, people in that industry were able to do that because they had that money to do that. Whereas, like, I was just beginning on social media.

Like, I didn't have the money to just fly wherever, whenever I wanted. Right. But like my friends like I always kept my friends like in the loop with what was happening with him because they thought it was interesting but they also thought it was creepy. Yeah. So like Calvin for example, he would always tell me like, share like you're 15. Like why are you talking to this dude? And I'm like no, like he just wanted a friend. And Calvin was like, no, like this is weird.

Like he doesn't view you as a friend. And I'm like look at the messages. Like look at he's being a good friend. Right. He's flirting with you. And I'm like, no, he's like where? And he's like, look great. And I was so blind.

Like I didn't see it because I was like. wow, like I convinced myself he just wanted to be a friend. Got it. Like I fully like was in the delusion where like I just kept trying to like hide whatever it was and I didn't want to accept the fact that he was grooming me. Yeah. Because it was like I, like it should have been a red flag to me that he was asking me for my age 20 times.

Yeah. Like he asked me my age maybe once a week like as if like it was going to change to 18 in a day. Like he knew what he was doing. Right. So like when I was at his apartment like I reminded him. I was like listen like I'm about to be 60 like I'm 16 basically like I'm like I'm like I'm I don't want to do this. Yeah.

And he knew you were a virgin, right? Oh, he, yeah. I was very open about it. Like, I didn't care. Right. That was like my excuse to wait too. I was like, I don't want to get pregnant. Like I'm scared.

Right. Because I had no better. No protection. Because like, he was like, oh, they're expired. Like the condoms are expired. And I was like, okay, so we're not going to have sex. Like, and he's like, no, no, like, I'm good. Like, I'll pull out.

I'm like, I don't understand what that means. I'm like, what do you mean pull? Like, I was 15. I was like, I don't know what that means. And like he would tell me all these things and like try to do all these things. And like I just didn't understand. So like that night on his birthday like that's when I guess like he had like enough. He like did not want to wait.

Like he just spent his birthday with me where like he could have been at like a club with like 20 other girls. And he just like went for like he began taking off my clothes. I was like, listen like fine. I'll take them off. But I don't want to do anything. And he's like don't worry. I won't. And that's like when he just like pinned my arms down and just like did it anyways.

I remember I kept telling him out. I was like, I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. Just a few more minutes, a few more minutes. And he was, like, struggling. I guess, like, now that I, like, learned about it or whatnot, like, I guess my body rejected him because he was struggling so hard. He's like, I can't get myself inside of you.

He's like, could you help me? I'm like, no. Yeah. I was like, I don't even know where, like, to put, like, I don't know. Like, I was, I was 15. Yeah. And, like, my body was just rejecting. And he was getting born more aggressive.

And he, he, like, just started getting really aggressive with me because he couldn't figure it out for whatever reason. Like, he left a. bunch of bruises just like from pinching me he would bite me really hard like there was a few times where we would smoke like that day and the next day where he would just like burn you like his cigarettes like I guess like from that point on he just hated me like that that made him like resent me so you like he wasn't able to have sex with you he did but like he was struggling it was like he was for like I want to say like about 10 minutes to the point where he just gave up and he's like

fuck this he's like I don't want to do this like yeah he's like I don't know why you're not helping me right and I'm not going to help you rape me like in what world am I going to help you rape me. Right. And I remember after that, I was like, I want to go home. Like, I put my clothes on. I was like, I want to go home. Like, you said you would take me home after taking me home.

He's like, I'm not taking you home. And I was like, please, like, just take me home. Like, I don't want to take an Uber right now. It's one in the morning. And this was like in Granada Hills. Like, I was scared against sex traffic. I was like, I'm not. I was like, just drive me and it'll be fine.

And I was like, is your friend here? Like, he'll take me. Because he alwaysed if I needed anything. He's like, no, he's away for the weekend. He went to go see family. And I was like, so can you just drive me like, please? I'll pay you, just take me home. He's like, no, figure out your own night home.

Hey, I'm Jeremy Schwartz from American Criminal. On this season, robbery gone wrong or cold-blooded murder. Either way, Boston will never be the same. Listen to American Criminal, the murder of Carol Stewart, wherever you get your podcasts. Or to get early ad free access, subscribe in Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or at Americancriminal.com. And what's crazy to was like you said, like he could be out, I'm sure, with like a bunch of other girls. But it's like it's a most, I feel like it proves how weird it is.

The fact that he wanted to just keep hanging out with somebody, he really didn't even have the experience or interest. Yeah. It's like why waste your time if that isn't like a sick twisted fetish that you have? And I like, I know a lot of people in L.I have like been with him and a lot of minors have. Okay. Because once I came out with my story, like I had maybe a dozen girls messaged me and like a few guys. girl someone who was on tour on the tour bus he did this or he did this and they're like we don't have photos like if we go to the police they won't do anything and like i understood because i went to the

police with photos and they didn't do anything so it's like he knew he was going to get away with it he has in the past i think that's why he was so comfortable i never understood why he like like like me the way he did because like i don't think i was like i was in a child i was 15 years old i looked like a child i had braces like i wasn't i wasn't developed yeah i was like i didn't have boobs. I was not like developed like whatsoever. Like I was in high school. Like I didn't have any experience. I didn't know how to flirt with him. Like I didn't know how to flirt with him in. Like I didn't know what to do. Yeah. And he just took advantage of that. And after that trip, I remember like I went home and me being 15, I didn't know how like a pregnancy test worked. I took one the next day thinking it was going to tell me if I was

pregnant or not. Yeah. And like it said like I wasn't and whatever my cousin's like you need to wait two weeks. Like just wait. And I remember two weeks later, I took. took two tests and both of them came out like error message and like they weren't working. So then I went to like urgent care afterwards. But I texted him. I was like, hey, like I have not gotten my period. It's been two weeks. Like I'm just like, you know, I'm going to urgent care.

I'm going to do a test. If I am pregnant, I'm going to abort it. Like whatever it is because I wasn't getting my period. Yeah. And I went to urgent care. And he texted me before I went to urgent care. He's like, who is this? And I was like, what do you mean?

He's like, he's like, call me. And I called him while I was with my cousin. And he was like, why are you? Like why are you texting me that? Like we never did anything. And I was like, oh my God. I was like, what do you mean? He's like, we never, I've never even met you.

And I was like, what are you saying? And he's like, why are you like, why are you saying we fucked? Like I don't like, why are you texting me those things? Like I don't understand. And I was like, are you serious right now. And he was like, listen, like I don't have time for this. Like whoever you are goodbye hung up. And I was like, me, my cousin looked at me and I was like, she's like, what the

fuck was that? And I was like, I don't know. Like I was like, I was like in shock. I was like, I didn't think, he was texting me like the day after that. Like, I miss you so much like, whatever. And I wasn't answering him. So, like, whatever. I was like, my cousin was like, his fuck him.

Like, just go to urgent care, make sure, whatever. I told my mom was going to do a COVID test. Went to urgent care. Did my pregnancy test. And it came out, like, negative. And I told the girl urgent care, like, what happened and whatever. And I'm kind of upset because I told her I was raped. I told her everything.

And she didn't put it in, like, my notes. So when the police took a look at it, they took, oh, you took a pregnancy test. but they didn't put any notes down. And I think that, like, that, like, really crushed me. Because I went back and I'm like, I literally told this woman everything wise and not in this. And they're like, oh, like, we don't know. Like, I was just like, that's very, like, like, help my case.

Right, it could have been, like, proof from that time. Exactly, yeah. And I didn't talk to him, I think, after that for like a year. Okay. I went like no contact. I stopped answering him. Like, I didn't want to speak to him. And there was another time I went to L.A.

And he's like, I wanted to apologize. He called me. And, um, Like, did he know you were in L.A. or something? He, I don't. This time, it was like my last day there. So I don't know how he knew I was there. Okay.

It was my last day there. I was leaving that day. And he texted me, can I see you? And I was like, why? And he's like, and you talk to you. He was like, call me. He's like, no, you're going to yell at me. I'm like, what do you mean?

I was like, call me. Like, what, like, if you want to say something, say it now. And he's like, I'm sorry. Like, I miss you so much. Like, you were such a good friend. Like, like, I don't know what happened? And like, I don't know if I, like, offended you. Like, why don't you text me anymore?

Like, whatever it is. He's like, when are you leaving today? And I was like, can I take you out to eat? And I was like, I don't know if that's a good idea. Like, I, like, I just, I'm so uncomfortable with everything. He's like, please, like, let me. And I think this is where I fucked up. Because when I told the police this, they were just kind of like, why did you go back?

Like, if it's true, why did you go back? Right. Did he, did you bring up anything about, like, how he hung up on you and acted like he didn't know you? That. So that's what I guess he was apologizing for it. I was like, why were you so, on the phone, I was like, why are you, why were you being so mean? Like, why did you talk to me like that? He's like, I don't know.

Like, I was just scared. Like, I was scared you were going to try, like, baby trap me. Like, people have tried to do that in the past. I'm like, the way that if I was pregnant, like, I would have gotten an abortion, like, that day if I could. Like, I wouldn't have even asked you for money. I don't need your money. Like, I was calling you just in case, like, and you treated me that way.

And he's like, yeah, like, let me make it up for you. Like, let me take you out, whatever. Like, I'll take you out and I'll take you to the airport. And I was like, okay, whatever, like, fine. Yeah. He's like just come to my house and like, like, I'll drive us. Like I have my car. Like my, I got my license plates.

Like, whatever. I'm fine. Got to his house and he's like, I need to wait for my assistant. She has my registration. I'm like, I don't want to do this. I was like, I don't know why. Like, it's always, it's always something with the car. Like, we can never leave his house.

I was like, I don't really want to do this. And like at this point, his house was like all packed up. Like he was ready to go. I was like, I don't want to do it. I'll just go home. Like, we'll see each other a different thing. it's going to be here in 10 minutes tops and I was like okay fine like if it's not 10 minutes I'm Uber and he was daytime I didn't care to Uber and he's like come to come look I like I packed

everything like I'm moving that I show you the house I'm moving to and at this point he was like collaborating with like some app and like I guess they were like moving him out of that house so like I guess he was moving and he brought me to his room and he said do you want to smoke and I was like God no right after like after last time yeah I was like I learned I was like no thank you and he's like why not I was like I don't want to I was like really like stop like I don't want to and he's like okay like suit yourself whatever we're saying he's like how have you been how's your brother how's your family like how's all these people and I was like everyone's good like you know whatever I'm about to graduate high school like and he's like oh wow

congrats like what do you want for your graduation gift and I was like I don't want anything it's like what do you want cardiac I'll get you anything I was like no I was like I don't want anything from me it's really fine yeah like I don't need one single thing from you he's like suits yourself like you're being so mean to me right now and i was like i just like don't need you to buy me things right and he's like you know what that's one thing i liked about you you always paid when we went out like i would i would pay because i don't want him to ever say i was a clout chaser right his money whatever like anywhere we went we paid except for this saddle ranch apparently like he didn't pay and he didn't tip like he left and i found that when i went with my friend on that trip and i ended up it was our server and she was

like that was like really weird like you were with him like were you guys together and i was like yeah she's like why did i serve you alcohol you look at you're a minor i was like he want I don't know. I was like, I don't know. And she's like, you know, he never paid a tip. And I loved to like a $300 tip that day. So he obviously didn't like to pay. He was just kind of like he thought he could do whatever he wants.

But I always paid for us. Like if like we, I think we took an Uber once or twice I paid. Like I did not want it to ever be a thing that I was like, like I wanted money from him. Because like that's not the case. Right. Like I grew up with like my brother having all these rappers around us and like the way they spoke about women and like what you see online. Like whenever a girl like leaves a guy, he's like, fuck her. Like she's a gold dig.

like men especially in that industry are just so terrible. So he was just like trying to offer me things and I didn't understand why. And he was like, where do you want me to take you today? Like I got you anything you want. Today's your day. Like this is my apology to you. And I was like, I don't want anything. Like please like, like don't worry.

Like I'm going home today. Like it's fine. And then he was like, remember when we fucked? Like I don't know. He just like, was like, remember when we fucked? I was like, yeah. And he was like, that was fun, huh? And I was like, no.

he's like why like why don't you think so and I was like I cried I was like I cried a lot he's like yeah but it's because you liked it and I was like no I was like that's not the case either and he was like I don't like are you just like scared of sex I was like no I just like didn't want to have it yet and like I even have messages where like he would text me like after like we had sex I one time he texted me he was like did you have a good time like he were so hot like you were so wet for me and I was like I literally texting back I was like I don't want to talk about this and he's like why And I was like because like I'm not comfortable talking about this. Like I didn't want it.

And he said, okay and like ignored me for the rest of the week. Like whenever I would upset him, he would ignore me and get aggressive with me and get mean to me. So like on this trip, like, I guess like he got mad that I was saying that I didn't want it. And he's like, are you accusing me of raping you? And I was like, I'm not having this conversation. I was like, I don't want to have this conversation. And he was like, no, like say it. Like I'd say you want to like, you think that.

Like say that I raped you. And I was like, no, like it's fine. And he's like, do you think I. groomed you and I was like kind of like I don't know because and he was like I don't think so he's like you're mature for your age and I was like yeah but it's still grooming and like he just like was like okay I just wanted to know what you thought and like I was like I told Calvin Calvin's like if he asked you if you were groomed he knows he groomed you yeah like there's no way that would just be a question that just came out of thin air like he like he knew he groomed me yeah so these were texts

before where you were at that point in his room again. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So this was like out loud. He asked me if I was groomed in person. Okay. Like in real like real time.

He asked me. He just like kind of stared at me. And I told him I was like, I think so. And he's like, we are mature for your age. And I was like, I am, but I don't know. Like that's what it means? And he's like, what does it even mean? And he just like starts looking up what it means in front of me.

And I was just like, yeah, like this is fucked up. Like that's like when it hit me. I was like, this is really bad. Like he groomed me. And like I would have all my friends telling me that like even after like the rape. I just kind of like didn't acknowledge that I was rape. I was like maybe I did want it. I was like maybe I let him on like I never told anyone I was raped.

Like I like kept it in like just Calvin knew because I called him after like crying. But like I never really told anyone I was raped because I didn't think I got raped. I was like maybe like I did lead him on and I'm a piece of shit for that. And like I could have not shown up but I went because I knew immediately if I were to come out about it. They'd be like oh, why did you go? Like if he was older, why did you even entertain it? And like to me it's just because I thought he was. cool that he was messaging me. I didn't know any better. And that last trip I saw him, that's when

I guess he got mad that I, like, insinuated that he raped me. And this was like the last time I saw him. And like he hit me like really bad. I don't think like I've ever been like abused by anyone. Like my parents never laid it. Like no one's ever laid their hands on me until this man right here. So you did you hit you in the face? He would always slap me across the face. And I would tell him like this like hurts. He's like I'm just playing with you. I'm like no like it fucking hurts. I'm like, I'm like, like he would like soccer punch me in the face. I'm like, what are you doing? He's like, huh?

Like that's funny. And I'm like, no. Like he even did it in front of his friends at like the producer's house. Like he was just like in front of friends just slap the shit on me. And I was like this is not normal. And like they wouldn't even react. They wouldn't even flinch. Like if I was like in a room and I see someone getting punched in the face, I would, I would call the cops.

I don't know what I would do. Like I would not just like be like, oh like that just happened. Like yeah. I guess his friends were like accustomed to it or like they were used to seeing it that they didn't react. and like during the first time he raped me it was just kind of like he had a thing about pinching me I don't know but it would always leave bruises and he would bite me really hard till I pretty much bled but like the and he would like always slap me with this last trip like he just wouldn't stop hitting me like he was like I was just hitting me and he was like it's hurting like I was like stop please I would try to push him away

and he's like it doesn't hurt like why are you I'm just like playing around with you I'm like but why is the playing around lasting like 10 minutes like why aren't you done like why aren't you done like this isn't playing around he just kept doing it and i remember like i was in one of his hoodies and we were like he was about to like take me home and he had like a cigarette and he just like right before he took me just like burn me and i was like what what the what the fuck was that for like i did nothing i was like i was that for it's like i don't know he's like i just my my head told me to do it so like he just didn't care i think like he's done it with a lot of people and i know other women have come out about him doing things but no one ever takes it seriously

Like when I went to the cops Like they believed it Because I had photos of all the bruises He'd leave on me But then he would tell people that it was hickies And I was like a hikki looks like one thing A bruise looks like one thing Yeah

Like these bruises are like huge green yellow Like he left them everywhere At my body I had bruises going down my arms down my thighs Right So that last time you saw him He didn't rape you again right It was like

But it was He was just beating me I guess And that was the last time you saw him That was last time I saw him So it was that before he like I guess like rape me like he like fucked me I guess and when I saw him before that that's when he was nice he forced me to give him head that time but it was like he like it didn't last

long because I wasn't doing a good job because I was 15 yeah but he was I remember like we were like that was like the one thing the cops really cared about that because I guess I was like my youngest state I was like just turned 15 and like we were in his room and he's like why don't you just give me head right now. I was like, no, like, it's fine. Like, I don't know how to. And he just like, try. Like, I'll teach you.

And I was like, no. And he forced me for maybe 10 seconds before he just, like, let me go. And he's like, I didn't know you didn't want to do it. And I was like, I told you I literally didn't want to do it. Yeah. Like, it's not. So it's like every time that he would do something and kind of be like, oh, my bad. Like, I'm just playing around with you.

That was like his go to line. I'm playing. I'm playing. Like, why are you getting so mad? Like, why are you going crazy on me? Right. So he would always just make up excuses. And I felt like I was crazy.

I'm like, okay, he was playing around with me. Like maybe like this is normal. Whereas like I grew up in a household where like obviously it was like loving. My parents loved each other. Like my sister and her husband like loved each other. Like they've never hit each other, never even yelled at each other. And here I am like having like a 22, 23 year old man like attacking me and hitting me and like me having to go home like nothing happened. Right.

Like I had to just go home and act like it didn't happen. And I would just like sit and think. And whenever I would finally convince myself, oh, like he groomed me or, oh, look, this is bad. He would text me, hey, I hope you're having a good day. And then it made me think, oh, maybe I am overthinking it. Like, why am I going to put him in this spot? Like, I don't want to, like, accuse someone if they didn't do something. And I, like, put it into perspective.

I put together a timeline just for myself. I put the photos together. I look through the messages again. So this was, like, after the last year. Okay. I put everything together. I'm like, holy fuck. Like, did you hear from him after that last time?

He tried texting me a few times and he continued to follow me. on Instagram. I didn't follow him back. Okay. He swiped up on a few stuff on my Instagram with like a hard eye emoji. He didn't answer. At this point I like put a timeline together. I'm like this is so fucked up. Right. I'm done.

Also like the experiences went from like being friends and like you idolizing him to more so like toxic and scary. Yeah. And like his friends would still hit me up and at that point I made sure to like never see him. Like I would go out of my way like to make sure he wasn't at places I was going. And your brother and family did not know. No. So they didn't know at this point. I was still going to L.A.

At this point I was like 17, about turn 18. And I remember like me and my friend went to a party. And I remember I texted the person who was throwing out. I'm like, is this person going to be here? Because he goes to all these parties. He just like, he's bored. It goes, whatever it is. He's allowed to whatever.

No, he wasn't invited, but his friends are here. And like which friends? And it was just like the one that would always check up on me. So I was like, okay, you know what? Like, maybe I should go and I should even talk to him. So I went to this party and he was the first person I saw. He hugged me. He's like, why don't I see you anymore?

Like, whatever. I'm like, you don't know what happened. He's like, no, what? I was like, and I explained everything to him, and he was like, you didn't deserve that. And I was like, yeah. And I looked at the one or two times, like, it happened, you weren't there. So, like, I couldn't, like, come to you. He's like, if I was there, I would have gotten you out of it.

Like, I'm really sorry. Like, if I had known, like, I don't know. Like, does your brother know? And I was like, do you want me to tell him? I'm like, no. Like, I was like, that took for me to say, like, it's fine. Like, like, he generally cared. That's, like, the one thing I took from this.

It's like whenever I went to the cops or my lawyer, like, I'm like, this is the person. Like, if you could get anyone to speak, he might. But also, like, he lived rent free in this rapper's house. The rapper paid his bills. The rapper paid him to make music. Would he turn on him? I don't know. Right.

So I was, like, at a place where I was, like, uneasy. But we were at this party until the rapper walked and I left. I booked it. Didn't even turn back. Whatever. And the other roommate of his, like, followed me out. He said, where are you going? Now, this isn't the one that will, like, check on me.

It was just like, another roommate who was always. nice to me never spoke to him had no conversation with him whatever he's like where you going it's like so early i'm like i don't want to be next to him he's like do you all me drive you home like let me drive you home and i was like okay yeah you could drive me home like he was nice like whatever this man was like seven foot tall by the way like that's very important for the story um so he's like he's like you want food like i'll get you food like he's being very nice i like yeah like let's get food and he'll drop me off he took us to wendies we picked up wendies he took me in my

Airbnb he's like can i come in like do you need anything like let me just come in make sure you're okay. Came in, immediately tries to fuck me. And I was like, holy shit, I can't catch a break. And he was like, oh, like, did you want, like, you wanted me to come in? I'm like, no, like, I thought you were just like walking me to my door. And he was like, oh, like, you know, I always thought you were attractive.

Like, I never knew how he pulled you. Like, you, like, you deserve better. And I was like, yeah. You deserve better. Meanwhile, you're just trying to do the same thing. The same thing, yeah. And like, he's like over, like, he's huge. And I'm just kind of like, okay, like you could go now.

Like it's fine. He said, do you want me to wait until like your friend's here? I don't want anything to happen to you. I was like, no, like it's fine. Like, you could go. And he's like, can I kiss you? Like, I really want to kiss you. And I was like, no. Like, it's okay.

He's like, just let me. And I was like, no. I was like, it's fine. He did it anyway. But with him, I was actually able to kind of like, listen, like get the fuck out or I'll call the police. And he's like, what the fuck's wrong with? Dude, I'm being nice.

I brought you food. Like, like, all for what? And I was like, I don't want to. look at you like leave and he kind of like scoff he was just like fuck you like whatever the rapper was right and i was like okay i was like you could go and he left whatever like i was able to like stand my ground he left and i was so proud of myself like i was like i was able to do that and i should have been able to do that with the said rapper but i guess i just didn't know right i feel like once i put the timeline together that's when i was like what the fuck i'm like no man should

treat me like this like this isn't normal this isn't like an everyday thing and he went i remember the minute he left. I blocked him on Instagram. I was like, I don't, I was like, I don't need him to try to reach out to me. Like, I was like, I blocked everyone. Um, so a whole, about a year and a half or two goes by and my brother calls me. And he's like, what the fuck? And now I'm confused. Like, it's been way past. I dropped the whole, you like, I forgot about it. I was able to heal. Like, I was about to go and I was in college. I was my sophomore year of college. I was over it. My brother calls me and he's like, what the fuck? And I was like, yeah? Like, I don't know. I was like, what do you want? Like, what happened? He's like, what? He's like, what?

What did you do with him? I'm like, with who? And he named the rapper. I'm like, I don't know what you're talking about. He's like, he's telling me you guys like had like a, like you guys were hooking up for a few months when you were like a child. Like what the fuck. And I was like, I don't know what you're talking about. I like active clueless.

He's like, well, he's telling me right now and like, you're a fucking whore. My own brother. And I was like, okay. I'm a whore. Yes. I'm like, you're right. And he's like, like, I don't understand you. Like I'm so embarrassed to have you as a sister.

Like these are people I work with. Like, what are you doing to him? like leave him alone. And I was like, what do you say? I was like, what is he telling you? He's told me like,

you guys were cooking up for a while and like you got crazy and like, like started making accusations about him and apparently you have pictures of things and apparently it's hickies. I'm like, do you want to see the pictures?

He's like, I don't want to see them. I'm like, ask me for the pictures. Ask me for the whole fucking file I made and then I want to hear what you have to say. And he's like, I don't want anything. I sent him the whole file.

So at first when he called you, act a clue of us, like you just didn't want to tell him. Yeah. I didn't want it to call. I was like, maybe he doesn't even know. Maybe he's just kind of guessing. And I guess like he wasn't guessing.

He was at this person's show in California. I'm surprised the rapper would even tell him. To me, I think he took as a brownie point. He wanted to say like, oh, like I fucked your sister. Like your sister is like a cute one. Like I love your sister. Like I think he wanted some brownie points. I still don't know why it was told to him.

Like I don't know. And whatever, I sent him the whole file. My brother just responded like, you're a slut period. Like whatever. And at this point, I'm crying my eyes out. And my mom keeps asking me, what happened? What happened? Tell me who hurt you.

And I was like, I don't want to talk about it. Like, leave me alone. My brother begins to like harass me over text message. And I was like, you know what? I was like, if he think, like, because he's convinced like this rapper is like the perfect angel. Like, you know, he makes money with him, like, whatever it is. Like, he was convinced like I was just lying. So I posted a TikTok and went viral overnight.

About, about like, like, I didn't like give any details whatsoever. But it pretty much insinue me like this man's a rapist. Okay. Did you say his name in the TikTok? Yes. Okay. Yeah. Overnight went viral. Next day I woke up to over 15 DMs all about my friends, like whatever, this happened to her. Like he was from my hometown.

Like he did this to this girl, message her. Or I had like a few girls who were kind of like smaller influencers in California. And they like listen like this happened to us. Like I don't have any photo proof. If I did, I would have been to the cops. He would have been in jail. Like this happened to me too. If you need anything, I'm here, girl.

Like they all gave me their numbers. Like they're being so sweet. Like these girls like we went through this. too so don't think that you're like in the wrong like you did nothing wrong whereas the comments on the tic-tok were 50% those type of messages 50% just like trolls right he definitely wanted it like what clout do you want you're like you wanted it like just admit it like and it was kind of split 50-50 the next day i get a text from the rapper on instagram what the fuck call me and i'm like i didn't answer him my brother called me and he was like delete that i was like no he's like delete that right now

i'm gonna go crazy i was like no i'm gonna go crazy i was like No. I'm like, just go look at the comments. And then once you told me you read them, I'll delete it. He's like, I'm not going to look now. And I'm like, okay, so I'm keeping it up. Next day, he came back home and he comes into my room yelling at me. Of course, whatever. I'm just like, whatever.

I'm crying my eyes out. And my mom is like, I don't understand what happened. And my brother's like, your daughter's, your daughter is a whore. And I was just kind of like, okay. Like, I just like was agreeing with him. I was like, I'm a whore. I'm a slut. I'm everything you want to call me.

Like, I'm not having this conversation. Like, I didn't even want to tell my parents. Like the thought of telling my parents was like the worst thing ever. Because in my head it was like if they know I'm not going to be allowed to travel. I'm not going to get like any like kind of rights like they're going to take my car away. Like I was like I just didn't want them to know. And also like the thought of saying it out loud and saying like, yeah, I was raped. I couldn't even say it.

Yeah. So my brother, I guess finally told my mom and my mom comes into my room and she's like, why did you want to sleep with him? And I was like, I didn't want to. And then she's like, tell me like I love you. Just tell me why. Like why? Like, why did you want to do that? He's not Jewish.

And I was like, I didn't want to do that. Like, I have all these, like, I could show you all the proof where I texted him that I didn't want to do this. And then she's like, like, just tell me, like, just tell me the truth. I'm like, I'm telling you the truth. Like, I don't have to tell you. And now, like, my brother is like a mama's boy. So my mom will fight for him till she would, like, believe him. Till today she believes him.

She has not accepted that it happened to me. But, but she kind of like was being really angry about it, whatever. And then my brother got home. and went ballistic. I've never seen my brother this mad. Like, I was, like, convinced he would do something to me. Like, I was, I was in shock. He got me a makeup desk when I was 13.

He ripped it apart. My, all my makeup was in. I have a video. Makeups on the floor. He ripped up everything. He broke my bed. Like, just, like, trashed my room. And he was, like, just because you want to fucking lie about my friends, here you go.

And I was, like, hysterically, like, crying in, like, my little sister's room. My dad came in. And at first, he was, like, kind of mad. He was like, why the fuck wouldn't you, tell us. Like if it's true, why wouldn't you tell us? I was like, because it's not like something I wanted to say one. And two, like, I was so young and still like my little influencer era or whatever. I was like, I was scared. You wouldn't let me go on tour and do all these things. I was just scared. And he, my dad was like at first, like not believing me, but then like he went to go talk to my mom.

And it was just like, it was like war in my house for like three days straight. And finally, my dad came to me and he's like, don't tell your mom. I'm going to fly you to L.A. Go put in a police. If it's true, go put in a police report. And I want a copy of the police report. And that's all. The minute you do that, I'll believe you. And I was like, I want to wait a little bit, whatever. I went to a lawyer first.

I went to this lawyer that was basically known for cases like this. She's known with like helping sexual assault survivors, especially with people who are in the press. And she was working on my case for a little bit. And she was very happy with my case. She's like you have a lot of proof. Like you have more than the average person, which stuff. Right. Because you had messages and pictures, right?

I had messages. I had. the urgent care report, even though I didn't have all the data. I had like the Instagram DMs, him reaching out to me, other girls that were reaching out to me. And I told my lawyers, I want to take this criminal. Like I need there to be some sort of like consequence. She said the thing is like with criminal, it's so hard to win, especially with a rape case. It's like he said, she said, like they're not going to believe you.

If we win a civil case, then we could go criminal. And I was like, whatever that means, do it. She sent him about like six or seven Cs and desist letters, like saying, hey, you need to call our firm. Hey, like, get your lawyer to call us. He ignored every single one of them. She tried calling him. Didn't answer. It went for about six months.

And a few months later, she called me. I remember I was in class. And I, like, went out and I'm like, hey, like, what's up? Like, is everything okay? She's like, I have some, like, really bad news for you. And I could do not. I thought she was going to say he died. And I was going to be so happy.

I thought, I was like, is that the bad news? Like, that's good. I was like, that's a good reward. We don't need money. I was like, that's amazing. She's like, have really bad news. I was like, what is it? and she was like, I'm going to have to drop your case.

And I was like, why did he say something? Like, why are you doing this? She was like, listen, like, I'm a lawyer. I need to make my money. And obviously, like, we respect what you've been through. Like, we will be here as a resource forever. But we just looked into his house, his car is everything. Nothing's on his name.

And I was like, okay, so we just go criminal. Like, fuck that. Like, let's just go criminal. She's like, I wouldn't make money. Like, criminal takes months, years. Like, it's not worth it for me to even take that case. I would say go to the police. So I was like, okay, like, I'll go to the police.

I like email the police like the sexual assault like I guess officer chief and she told me flying these days and we're going to do interviews we're going to do everything I flew out so you had to do it in L.A because it happened out in L.A. And I couldn't even go to like Hollywood like I had to go like Granada Hills where he's from. Got it. So we had to go there. Me and Calvin went and I came in with like all my proof on a flash drive and I also came with like the sweater that he used to burn me like over.

guess. I just came in with everything I had. I'm like, here's everything, do whatever you need with this. We sat for questioning me and Calvin separately together. We did about four days of questioning. And at this point, like, I'm still not talking to my brother. My mom doesn't know I'm in California. It's kind of like no one really knows anything. And he, I think, did know because he was trying to reach out for me to call him. And a part of me, Paul hardly believed, like, my brother was helping him, like, get away with it because he knew exactly what to do to not respond. And my brother told me from day one, like, I'm going to help him. Like, if you fucking sue him, I'm going to help him.

Like, whatever you fucking do, watch out. Like, from that phone call that one day. Were you and your brother close prior to this? Oh, we were attached to the hip. He worked in the music industry. I did, like, the influencer stuff. Like, I would set up, like, brand deals for him and his artist with my friends. Like, all the collaborations.

Like, when I was younger, I started a tour and a magazine. He was the one that signed off all the contracts because I was, like, 15. Because you would think that even if you wanted it, you were still being taken a advantage of considering your kid. Like he should be mad at his friend for fucking his baby sister. Yeah. It takes two. Yeah.

It's not well in your case one, but you know what I'm saying. Like still. He just, I think with my brother, it was like, oh, this is a connection in the music industry. Money. I do marketing money. Like this is my, how I make money for a living. And like I understand that fine. But like talking to me like that calling me a slut, call me a whore, whereas you should have

been comforting me saying, I'm sorry my friend did that. like and I told him I was like go to the DJ guy like he will tell you everything and he was checking up on me for months like even after he messaged me on Instagram I think a year after like hey how have you been like are you doing okay like he's always like he knows right I guess he's used to like what this guy would do with girls and he would be kind of like that person who would check up on them and they went to the police my brother was furious my dad told me not to tell him he found out um and it just kind of like the police tried reaching out to him many many many many many many, many times.

He wasn't answering. They tried calling everything. And I got a call from the police saying, like, hey, he's not answering. So we need to send us to the DA's office. She evaluates the case. Once she does, she'll give us either, like, a warrant or close the case. But they told me, like, you have, like, a good chance. Like, her whole campaign when she ran for the position was, like, helping sexual assault

survivors. Like, I went to her website. She has, like, a whole division for it. Like, I was like, oh, I'm good hands. It's a woman. That's like, it's not a white man. It's a woman. Like, I think I'm in good hands.

about six months goes by I call my lawyer the police and I'm like hey like what's up like anything like come on like I don't understand and she's like oh we haven't heard back yet and I'm like okay whatever it's fine I wait another two or three months

and I get a call from the DA and she's like hey we're gonna close your case it's not I'm also making it to that like you can't reopen the case so even if you get more proof whatever we're not going to reopen it for you and I was like can't you just like close it and make and like if more victims come to you like or reopen the case she like no we're closing it for good

and then that was she say why no i couldn't even i tried calling again i tried calling the police department i tried sending emails they won't tell me why that's just the answer she gave me and i don't know why because like yes i don't have like a video of like him obviously raping me i didn't know it's going to happen but i do have the screenshots of me telling him i didn't want to do i have the screenshots of me telling him hey this to make me uncomfortable him asking for my age over 15 times like it's not like he didn't know my age or i was leading him on or whatever it is he knew and like he just didn't care right and like obviously the d a didn't care and the lawyers didn't care enough and it left me in a place where i was like that's i think was like that was it for me like the minute

i got the call from the ds office i broke down crying cried for days i was hysterical i didn't know what to do i was like wow like no one believed me and now no one's going to believe me more because if it happened they should be arrested him or whatever it is. Like my dad even called me like a week after I put in the police report. He's like, so is he arrested yet? Like he doesn't work like that because my dad just like, he's not from here. So he doesn't understand.

He's like, oh, but he did this. Why isn't he arrested? I'm like, that's not how it works. Unfortunately. Like there's a whole thing that has to happen. Yeah. So that like deteriorated my mental health. I remember like I was still getting like shit for my brother.

Me and my brother's relationship since then. Disgusting. Like it doesn't exist. Even to this day. We now text in the family group chat, but I'll never text him. I'll never ask him. to do him a favor and like set him up with like a different like TikTok or something for a collab like that like ruined our like relationship completely and like and like same with your mom

pretty much my mom I didn't me my mom always had a bad relationship since I was like 13 but that definitely ruined it like to the maximum that it could be ruined like I just don't go to her anymore like I any like that made me not want to ever go to them like God forbid something happens to me I don't want to go to them yeah like my dad like my dad's always with my best friend like I think he definitely felt like what like I was hysterically crying having a panic attack he's like she can't be lying like right and he just didn't understand he's like why do let him like my dad was like asking the stupid questions but also he doesn't know better like he doesn't understand like he's never had someone that's gone sexually assaulted he doesn't know anyone like he's not versed in like I guess

that area of things like he grew up in like a different country like he just didn't understand and it was just like a really upsetting situation right I tried like it's not like I didn't try like I went to the lawyers I went to cops I did whatever I needed to do and no one cared. Like, yeah. I got no justice. So did you end up ever deleting that TikTok? No.

And he messaged me to delete it and I didn't. And my brother tried making me delete it and I didn't. Does he know that you went to like lawyers and cops? Yeah, because my brother told him. Okay. But like you and him have not had any contact. He messaged me to call him that one day after the TikTok have not talked to him since he has me blocked.

So what have like what have you been doing recently? Like are you just like speaking about it on? Yeah. So I became French. the few of his other victims. Okay. I talked to them, not religiously, but we always kind of like interact with each other's posts.

Like, hey, hope you're doing good. We still talk here and there. Like, we kind of just kind of made it like a safe space for all of us. We just kind of talk about it. Like, a lot of them still haven't gotten over it, which I don't blame them. I think for me, like, I thought I was over it until the DA called. And I was like, that's crazy. Like, that broke me.

Because I think that no matter what to feel like you're not believed. and you have like no one to turn to. Like even if, let's say even if like he still like he still didn't have any consequences, like legal consequences, it's like still to just have like your case just shut down and even your word shut down like it have no support literally even from family. I feel like is enough to just make you like go insane. You know what I mean? Because it's just like who at that point, who can you trust?

Who can you turn to? Nobody. And then it's like why would anyone want to speak out if no one's going to believe you anyway. Yeah, I think that's like the worst part of it because it took me a long time to speak out. And then when I finally did, my family didn't believe me. The cops and the lawyers, I even had like, I lost my best friend because she, I caught her talking to one of her friends saying how it's definitely not true. She wanted it. And I'm like, why are you saying these things? And she's like, because you won't tell me anything. And I was like, I told you I was raped. That should be enough.

She's like, why don't you tell me what happened? I was like, I don't want to talk about what happened. I had to sit and repeat it six times to the cops. I had to call the lawyer nine different times to resighted the story in different ways. Like, I don't want to say what happened. Like, I, even, like, right now, like, there was, like, what went down, like, the night he was trying to, like, force me and give him head or, like, when he was trying to fuck. Like, that was, like, the worst nights of my life. And, like, I remember I was, like, trying to talk to the police, like, trying to describe

because they wanted, like, details, like, which hand did you use? Do you remember what hand? Do you remember what hand he used? And I, like, had to, like, sit there and, like, imagine, like, his bed was this side and, like, where I sat. Like, I had to go through, like, the worst details with the cops just for them to shut down the case and probably throw out the file. Yeah.

So it's like, why would I sit here and tell you all this when I already have been telling the story for over like a year and a half to like cops, women, men? Like I had to say to a man and like that was like me. I just talking about that stuff to a man made me so uncomfortable. Well, it's constantly reliving the same experience over and over as well. Yeah. And like I had to tell my parents the story and then my brother. Like it's like I already said it so much.

I was done. I was drained. I didn't want to say it again. I didn't want to. He got away with it. Fine. Whatever. Like it already fucked me up enough.

Like I had to go back to therapy and like every relationship I've been in since then has not been like healthy. Yeah. And I think like I'm one to like take accountability when it's needed. Like I know where I fuck up in relationships and it's like I don't trust anyone. Like I will be like, oh, where are you? They don't answer me for 20 minutes. They're cheating on me. Right.

They're out doing something else or like I remember when I first started seeing my first sexual partner. Like I dated her. I remember like she would do like little things that like. Like I guess not like to hurt me like like choke me whatever. The minute her hand went to my throat, I literally started crying my eyes out. Yeah. And I was, she was like, oh, I'm so sorry. Like I didn't know.

Like I'm sorry. Like any like it fucked up my whole perception of love. And like every relationship I get into the minute I leave it, I need to be in another relationship because that's how I feel loved. Like all these things I feel like are not normal that I do. And like I take accountability of course, but it's fucked me up for the rest of my life. Right. Like I haven't been with a man since him either.

Like I like I, the thought. of like being with a man like scars me like I've just been like dating women like I went on a date with a man wanted to kill myself like it was like I just was so uncomfortable like I feel safer with women but I just like even then like I know like I was on a date like a week or two ago we were walking around Manhattan and they're kept being like loud noises and I had a full bone panic attack I was like what the fuck's going on like even like not with relationships like everything scares me right and like I haven't gone to LA in a long time because the thought of seeing him makes me want to die Like he ruined California for me.

He ruined relationships for me. He ruined like my mental health. Like he like fucked up my entire life. Right. And like now I'm in college and when I was in my undergrad, I was very like scared about hooking up with anyone or seeing anyone. I was in like student government and like did all this stuff for like sexual assault awareness. And even then like seeing how it doesn't work sucks.

Like I remember I did a tabling for like sexual assault prevention. The only reason people showed up was because there was free pizza. Like you shouldn't care. You should care about sexual assault. It shouldn't be like a bribe. Like no one cares. And like it sucks. Like I know so many people who have been sexually assaulted like multiple times,

whatever it is. And they just don't speak out because they see my experience or they see other people like get away with it. And the thing is too is it happens all the time. And it happens to your normal everyday people. And the thing is too is I feel like in a situation like this when it is somebody that has, you know, fame, you're going to feel even more. I feel like scared and cautious too.

come out of it because what people might think. Like even you posting about it online and having half the people say like, we're here for you. And then the other half saying either you're a liar or a cloud chase or this, that and the other, it's like why would you even want to speak out? It's almost like you want to like go back into your shell and just like forget about it. But it, one, you're never going to forget about it. It's always going to be there. And I feel like it is something that should be spoken out about. You know, and it makes it difficult because no one, it's one of those things that like, unfortunately, most of the time people are skeptical and don't believe it. And like, I always look at it like this.

Like, and I feel like you've, the way that you've told your experience has been very, I feel like kind. Because like there's people that could come on here and just like, I feel like full blown, just like bash like someone. But I feel like you don't do that. I feel like you're like, I mean, like you also, I feel like, I don't say take responsibility, but you tell. it in a way of like this is how I was viewing it. You know what I mean? And I feel like, I don't know. I just think that it's sad because people never really believe it when people come out about these kind of things. But your truth, like it's your truth. You know what I mean? So like whatever your perception is that happen, not saying people should go around and ever say like somebody rate me

if they didn't or like they think they did but they might not have. Who knows? Because it's such a fine line all the time. But I feel like your perception is your reality. And if by any means you felt like you didn't want something and somebody forced themselves on you, that's your reality. So it just bothered. Like I feel like if somebody is skeptical about anything in life, don't say anything. Just don't respond to it. But like at the end of the day, that's what happened to you. And I just think that it's extremely unfortunate that so many people don't get justice and that you didn't. And I think the best thing that you can do is speak out about it. You know, I mean, that's what else can you do?

You know what I mean? All that there is left. Like, a part, I just like hate that he doesn't get any consequences. Yeah. And it's like, he was smart by like not having any of his shit under his name. Like, nothing will be taken away from him and he'll continue to do it. Like, one of the girls that messaged me happened to her a year ago. It happened to me a few, like when I was 15, I'm 21 now.

Right. So he's still doing it. It's not like he stopped or he got scared. Like, he's still doing it. And he'll never get the consequences for it. And like, I'm lucky. enough to have these messages saved and these photos and whatever it is and like as bad as it sounds but these girls like didn't think that it was going to happen for them they didn't take

photos they didn't when you're in the moment of anything I don't think anybody's thinking exactly you know let's let me record this exactly like if I knew it was going to happen I would have recorded it like and just gone to the cops right from there and a big thing that I regret is not doing a rape kit but in my head it was like I'm 15 aren't they going to notify my parents if I go do it yeah that was like my perception of it was like let me not do it because if my parents so I'm fucked. Well, I think too, there should be, because of how often things like this happen and get brought up, there should be more, I think, steps that are taken on those people's ends of like we should

suggest this. Because like I said, like, you know, at 15, 16, how much do you really know about a rape kit? You know what I mean? How much do you know to ask for that? Like maybe now experiencing what you've been through, if God forbid something ever happened to you again, you might ask for one. but like at that age it's like how do you really know? I don't know what it existed.

Right. It's like that's like that should be those should be steps that are taken on the ends of like the people and you know at where'd you go, urgent care and stuff like that. To take the notes that they need to. Yeah, that too. And I just feel like those things, it's so crucial that those things are written down and notes are taken and even things are suggested to you, you know, so that you have some sort of knowledge.

Because if not, how are you going to, you don't even know what happened basically, you know. So, but yeah, I mean, it's just, it's really insane to me that the only thing you can do. I feel like for so many things in this world is like, like you said, to build a community of other people and almost like fight it on your own because who else do you have? It just like sucks because like now that like this happened to me, I've been trying to find resources and like I'm very, I'm open about things that happen to me. That's one thing. Like I'll never just be quiet.

Like after it all went down. I don't let me be open about it. And like I did research and like there really isn't like no. one teaches you this in like high school or college like there should be a course where they tell you like during like sex ed like this is what our rape kid is like this is right I didn't know what a rape kit was until I saw like a show on Netflix like one of like the doctor shows I shouldn't have to learn from like a show I should kind of be told it or like I don't know like I just think it's so upsetting because if I knew it like I was able to do it and my parents weren't able to find out I would have done it right also I think like because of urgent care

if you were told that you were raped, you would think that they would suggest that. I remember she told me, she was like, oh, are you going to keep it? And I was like, no, it wasn't consensual. And then she's like, oh, my bad. And didn't ask any questions. I feel like there should be questions. Exactly. And if I want to answer, I would have been like, hey, I don't want to answer, but.

But it should, right, that's what I was saying. Like, I feel like to some extent, it should be not pushed, but like there should be questions. People should kind of poke it and try to help somebody rather than just like, let me not, you know, say anything. Like I think like she wasn't well trained like yeah it should have been in the notes even like if not to put down right like oh like patients said it was unconsensual period three words but no she just wrote pregnancy test negative that was it and I didn't know because I reached out for like the police yeah to get the whole report and how long ago was the case closed?

Oh wow I want to say about a year and a half ago but then like I went to the police and it wasn't closed for like a year and a half later they just held my case and like nothing was moving like yeah it was just like everything. have I called for an update, no update, we sent another letter. Right. And it's like, why isn't he opening that? Like, just like, if someone murders someone and you send a letter and they don't answer, they didn't murder someone, they got away with like. Right. Just because he's not answering.

It's not taken seriously. Yeah, like bring him in for questioning. Just ask him, like, which they never did, right? No. Okay. No, they told me that he needed to come in himself because they don't have a warrant. They can't force him to come. Got it.

And at one point, the police was even like, um, entertaining the idea of like, oh, like if you have a friend that he could admit the rape to, I'm like, he's not going to admit that he raped me to anyone he's like you don't have a friend that like he would trust and like just tell him I'm like I don't I was like a rapist is not going to say they raped so what are you supposed to solve the whole case yourself that's what I'm like I was like you could like you could like we could get you a mic I'm like I'm not like building like this isn't like a movie like if you want to do that you go in and do that why am I going to have to do that right like it like it started feeling like a joke like at that point like when they weren't like just

not doing anything and saying hey if you could just get him to admit it I was like a week ago you told me not to contact him. Yeah. Like, and that day that he texted me, hey, call me a part of me wishes I did. Because I know that if I did and recorded it, he would have admitted to something where it should, like he had like sexual relations with a minor.

Like I know he doesn't think before he speaks. I know I could have gotten to say stuff. But like my lawyer and the cop said, don't call him. That's it. From this point on, do not contact him. And I did what they said.

And like, it just sucks because like I wish I did call him just so I could get like any type. Because I know he would have been like maybe. like oh like I did this but I thought you wanted it like that alone would have been like oh he had sex with a minor right and like they told me like I think every everything the lawyer did really did fuck me over because she held my case for a year and then let go of it that whole year I could have been at the police but then they held my case for a year and a half and didn't do anything yeah so it's like they were just playing around with me basically and I felt like it wasn't taken seriously I felt like they

really didn't care like the police especially when they like closed my case they didn't say anything they just said hey sorry whereas like the lawyer was like listen we have resources for you like the bare minimum but the police closing it's just like the worst because once they did no one will take my case like lawyer wise like oh the police closed it we're not going to take your case like it's it's done it's a done deal so basically that's where it is now it's closed done he still I know sees minors all the time I know he badmouths me my brother saw him a few months ago so they're still in contact um I'm kind of like I have that TikTok

cop still gets viewed. I still get the comments where it's like, why do you go back the second time? Like, I don't believe it. Um, and that's like pretty much it. Like I tried. I told my story.

I went to the cops. I went to a lawyer. Like people were saying like, hey, don't waste the cops resources. Don't tell them a lie. I'm like, like that's a felon.

Like lying about something like, like I wouldn't just go if it wasn't true. Right. Like everyone just has like their own tape. Right. It's a lot of your time too. You sat. Yeah.

Like I skipped classes. Like, in college if you miss two three classes you're getting an F in the class like it's and you know I did all this I waste my time money I paid for my flights like my hotels to California like I did all this I wasted all my time for him to get any even if he just got like something on his record or like if they gave me a restraining order they didn't want to give me one that we don't do that like go to someone else and like it's sad too because it's like it even your story I feel like this is why so many people don't want to speak up because they just don't think it's worth it but like I said I feel like the

only thing you can do is at this point, unfortunately, because it doesn't, it's something, but it's not enough is, but like build a community for yourself because I feel like at this point, the only thing you can work on is yourself and your mental health. And like, like you said, like through therapy and things like that, it's like, you have to build yourself back up and get to a place where it's like, okay, I know this happened to me. I know this is a serious fucking problem in the world that nothing is done. But all I can do is it is like build a community, talk about it, make sure that I guess too if like if other people even felt like to some degree that you could help them you know what just even feel heard because even you know firsthand how it feels not even

to feel hurt through your family so it's like you get it um but it's just like I just can't believe that nothing nothing's done it happens so often some of the comments my ticot or even like when I was this age my boyfriend did like some people were just like coming out about their stories my comments and like just reading that it's just like and like I bet their parents don't know like they're scared for the same reaction I had like no one will ever know they're scared they don't think anybody's going to help them and they most of the time people they don't get help yeah so it's just it's horrible but I think it's so important it's talked about because I do think and I always say the more that something is brought to light like and obviously yours is is about a specific person

but it's like the more that this is brought to light that not like not enough is done no one will do anyway. Right. I think like a lot of people know what happened to me and like I am public about like me going to the cops to the lawyer, nothing happening and all the comments are just like this is why we're, like no one goes. Like this is exactly why like no one believes in. Yeah. And it's like if only if they're, like you said, if there was any sort of care like even if they were able to do I feel like a restraining order or even put something on his record or like question him at least then. At least then you would know that okay they like they tried something because like I said at the end. end of the day, if you feel, like, and this goes for anyone, if you feel that something was

forced on you and it made you uncomfortable and this, that, and the other, and, like, I hate, I think that they always, like, cops and lawyers or whoever else, they're always, like, kind of try to, not twist it, but be like, well, why did you answer the text? Like, my lawyer asked you that. She's like, can I know why? And I'm like, I don't know. I just feel like it, it wasn't enough, like the age thing? Was that not? That was, like, so off. Even, that's what I'm saying, even for your brother, it's like, was that not enough for someone to be like, well, like, maybe the older person should have known a little better or not taking that stuff? Even if I did feed, like, I told my brother, let's say, in a world where I fed into it. So you were still 15.

Yeah. Like, it doesn't, yeah. I was 15. Like, you're believing like a 23, 22 year old over a 15 year old one. People should know better. Yeah. You're my brother. Right.

Like, you're my brother. Like, you should be on my side regardless. It should not even be a thought in your head. Yeah. To even like, you know, like, you could be upset for a moment. Like, I was, I was hoping so bad. like he yelled at me i'm like no let me wait a little bit he'll call back later and apologize i was like he's um he's gonna call back whatever tired day the whole night he was called called me a slut or over

text like cursing me out and i was like you're really and i sent him the pictures of the bruises i'm like look like does this look like a hicky to you he's like i don't care like don't send that shit to me i don't want to see it yeah and i'm like okay like i'm offering you the proof that you don't believe in right like here's videos recordings like screenshots whatever it is and you don't want to believe it. So I have nothing else to say to you. And like, I guess like that wasn't enough. Whereas like, I don't know. Like I think it's crazy that had all that proof and like he wasn't questioned. Like that, that drives me crazy. Oh, I'm sure. And it's like on top of everything that happened with that, um, the fact that it drove such a wedge between you and your brother doesn't

make it any easier at all. It's just like adds to it, um, which is just heartbreaking and terrible. Yeah. But I'm so glad that you wanted to come on here and talk about it and share your story because, Of course, because they're really, like I said, there's so many people that, I mean, even like you said, people in relationships. Like, it happens all the time. And it's just brushed under the rug constantly. So I think, like I said, it always needs to be brought to light. And I think especially too when it is somebody that has more, I guess, fame and power, it can be even more of a difficult situation and scarier. And for even more reasons that I feel like people wouldn't even get, like, you know, I feel like you would have to kind of post on social media and know to understand that, that split.

50-50 of like people being on your side and the people making you feel like you should even be living. You know what I mean? And I get it. Like we've people that have been online like they will understand that. So I think that it was really important too that that was kind of like an aspect in your story because it just it shows the difference even on top of everything else. But seriously, thank you so much for sharing it. And I'm so sorry that happened. It's just there's, it's horrible. And it's even more horrible that our world and society is a place where it's like that doesn't like you people have no support. and help. So hopefully you're a step to change. Seriously. And that's how I would look at it.

I always tell people that like coming out and talking about something no matter what it is. It's like it might seem like not much, but it's always like one step. Because it's like, is it the more people that speak out about things, the more awareness it brings to it, which is unfortunately all we can do, but it's something, you know. But thank you. You did amazing. Thank you.