We're All Insane - Confessions of a Professional Dominatrix

Episode Date: October 2, 2023

A dominatrix, often referred to as a "domme," is a professional practitioner of BDSM (bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism, and masochism) activities. This unique profession involves guiding clients through consensual power exchange scenarios, where they assume the dominant role. Dominatrices are skilled in understanding their clients' desires, boundaries, and fantasies, ensuring a safe and enjoyable experience. They may employ various tools, such as restraints, impact implements, or verbal domination, to create an immersive and fulfilling BDSM session. Beyond the physical aspect, dominatrices often prioritize communication, trust, and consent, fostering a safe environment for exploring the intricate realms of fetishism and kink. Check out Ariana’s podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/4iE3hfs3QMKNzBx00zicsN If you have a unique story you'd like to share on the podcast, fill out this form: https://forms.gle/ZiHgdoK4PLRAddiB9 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey guys, it's me Devorah. I just dropped an all new bonus episode inside my new subscription channel, We're All Insane Plus. This week's bonus episode is called My Brain was slipping into my spine. Listen now by subscribing to We're All Insane Plus inside your Spotify or Apple Podcasts app or go to we're all insane.com. My name is Ariana and I am a dominatrix. It pretty much started right when I was 18. honestly. I will say before I turned 18, all of my life men have like been scared of me, honestly. Like they have told me from a very young age that I was intimidating and that I'm dominating. I'm like roughly six feet tall. So I've always been told that I'm like this big dominant person, even though I didn't feel like I was like I was a child. And I remember I was like

16 or 17 years old. And I had this English teacher and he made a joke about me being a dominatrix. And I was like, he really might, that might be something. Even though it's a very strange thing to say to a child, I now realize it was a joke. But I remember hearing it and being like, no, yeah, like, maybe. Like, that really could be something. But I didn't think much of it. And it happened my first experience.

I was 18 years old. And I had just gone off to college. I lived in Shippensburg, Pennsylvania, like in bumfugged Pennsylvania. And I went on FetLife to like find someone to sleep with, right? Wait, what is that? Oh, sorry, yeah. No, you're fine. I've never heard of it.

It's on this BDSM social media website essentially. It can be used for dating. It can be used for meetups with other like-minded kinky people. They're called Munches. You can go to like Don Pablo. You can go to Don Pablo's and have a meet up and you guys can all get together and meet each other. So how did you hear about this website? I just looked it up.

I just looked into it. Okay. I definitely. But like going into it, did you have in mind like that you had a certain kink or like you were into or was it mainly just kind of like a. Honestly, no. I just knew that people were having sex on there. And I was a bit of like a late bloomer, I guess.

So I was ready to have some sex. I live, like I said, in like the middle of nowhere, Pennsylvania. So, and I just wasn't really into guys that went to my school or really even guys my age at the time. So I went on Fat Life and I met someone. He was like 32. He could have been older. People tend to lie quite a bit.

Now that I'm older, he definitely was older than 32 now that I think about it. But we went on a date. His profile was just like, you know, I like choking. I like choking. I like rough sex. There are people on there who kind of just like rough sex and aren't super into like whipping and BDSM and all that stuff. And that's what his profile was like or so I thought.

So when on date, date was talking. totally fine. He was kind of weird, but like I'm kind of weird. I didn't think really much of it. And then we went back to his house. And then we came in. We went through the garage. He went upstairs. And I remember in the corner was this huge, it was huge, this human size dog cage was in the corner of his kitchen. And you know me? I'm like, wow, it's been a good 18 years. I'm thinking I'm going in the cage. And I'm like visibly like, holy fucking shit. He's like, oh, ho, ho. Sorry. He's like, no, no, no, the cage is for me. Like, I want you to put me in the cage and I want you to treat me this way.

And I remember going home, this was nowhere on his profile. Like, he completely like, he based, switched me 18 years old. I remember it was in September, which means I was like a month into being 18. Like, yeah. It was pretty crazy. And he was like, I want you to treat me like a dog. I want you to put me in the cage and, you know, do whatever you think needs to be done to a dog. And I remember thinking like, no.

Well, not no. But I was like, well, it was foreign to you. Like you had never done something like that. It was like I wasn't into that. And this wasn't like something that we had discussed prior anything like that. And I was like, I'll do it for $500. And he was like, okay.

And that just came to you like to like, okay. Yeah. I was like, well, like I don't want to do this. Like I knew that Dom's existed and I didn't want to do this. But I would have liked $500. So I was. I was like, I'll do it for $500. And he was like, okay, I was like, damn, should have done like $1,000.

I found myself a business. Seriously, I should have probably charged more because he was like, yeah, but it's whatever. So I remember it was only for an hour long session. And it was like, it was yesterday, honestly. I remember I had him, like, go outside and pee like a dog would. Like when you let them outside and like, yeah, I had him pee outside on his lawn on the floor. Wait, was he on all fours? Mm-hmm.

Oh, the whole time is, sorry, I'm skipping it. head the whole time he's on all fours. Dogs can't stand on two feet. They have to be on all fours. Walk him outside on all fours. Tell him that. No, I didn't use the leash. He wanted to put him on a leash, but like, you know, I don't, I mean, I don't like putting dogs on leashes personally. So, like, you know, it was a big open space, you know, a big open piece of land. So I just had him just walk as I would let any other dog walk. So I would shoe him outside and I had him pee outside. we came back inside. I had an eat out of a dog bowl.

Duh. Dog bowl had to happen, right? Drink out of the dog bowl. You know how dogs like lick your feet after you come inside sometimes? Had him lick my feet, like through my boots, had him bark. That was pretty much it. Oh, this is not what you would do to a dog. But I remember I had this like overwhelming urge to give him like a swirly, like put his head in the toilet and like flush it.

a bunch. So I did that and he loved it. Oh my God. Yeah, he loved it. That's one of like my signature moves now is giving them like a swirly. Like they're in high school being bullied. They love it. They love it.

I'm speechless. So yeah, I dock walked him, had him piss outside. And then he obviously went in the crate. And then went to bed in the crate. Yeah. Yeah. So that was your first. Very first time.

First dominatrix experience. A very first time. $500. He paid me. ahead of time, of course, he paid me, which makes me think that he, like, had this plan all along. Yeah. But I'm very young. Like, I was a child, basically.

So, like, it's really easy to just find an 18-year-old, take her to your house. We'll see what she wants to do and what doesn't she want to do. Right. Luckily, I was pretty much down for it all for a price, for a price. And I remember after it happened, I called my friend. I was like, Sarah, come fucking pick me up. You were not going to fucking believe what just happened to me. Like, it's girl.

She comes, she picks me up. I only ever told her what happened to me because it was just really fucking weird. Honestly, I was like, didn't know how to feel. This guy was hello old. Like, I didn't know how my friends would react to this. And Sarah was like, dude, you should have charged him double. I'm like, yeah. I know for next time.

Yeah, for next time I know, yeah. But, um, and that was pretty much it. I did it. Um, I pretty much finished my time in college, um, that year. And then I decided to come back home and finish school in Reister's town. And I decided to finish my four year back home. And I remember that happened and then nothing really happened for a couple. So that was like the only experience for a while.

Okay. Yeah, never saw it ever again. He reached out, but it wasn't really to like do another session or anything like that. He was kind of like, hey, how are you? I was like, I don't really want to talk to you. Is that what you really want to ask me, babe? Yeah. Like, no, you don't want to ask me that.

But yeah. So I remember at this point, I was like maybe 20. and I used to work at a Francesca's. Have you been to the? Yeah. Yeah, like, it's like bright side for like kids, like for teenagers. And I just wanted more money. I, you know, I liked working at the mall.

I liked going to school, but I just wanted more money. Like, it just wasn't enough. So I remember I was like looking up ways to make money and I don't know how this happened. I guess I was on Tumblr. So it kind of just fell into this sexual thing. And someone mentioned this site called Extra Lunch Money. And I was like, oh, what's that? And I remember the interface was horrible.

It was like this like neon green, just dry website. And I remember seeing all these images of just different types of like girls in different poses and outfits. And I was like, what is this? And it was this site where basically it was for customs only essentially. Someone can come to you or post on a board and say, I'm looking for a video where the girl like, like tars and feathers herself and just like sits down and pretends to lay an egg. And then girls would be like, I'll do that. I'll do that.

Or they can come to you and ask you. And my very first custom was like a 25 photo set of me wearing like denim jeans. It was just like nice, tight denim jeans. Show the camel toe, the butt, the calves, everything. Just every angle of me in my jeans. Like my face wasn't necessary, but it was my face, my body, not my face. my body in the jeans or whatever. And he loved that.

And I was doing things like that for a bit. And I was like, I just feel like there's more out there. Like I knew that I didn't want to do porn. I didn't want to do anything with two people or in a studio. But I was like, there's got to be like more money. So I was looking at other girls' profiles and kind of just seeing what was out there. And I came across this one girl. And I forgot what it was called.

But she had a video that was about like, interracial domination and about talking shit about white men and saying that they're this and that because they're white. And I was like, whoa, what the fuck have I been doing? Like, I should be doing this. Like, my whole life has always been guys being like, oh, you're so scary. White guys being like, oh, you're so scary. You're so this.

You're so that. So I was like, oh, my fucking God, I should be fucking doing that. And I don't, I want to be very clear. I do not have any problem with, like, white men or white people. but I do make porn and I am a black person. So naturally, the topic of discussion will be my race. So I was like, I've been wasting time doing denim pictures. I should be doing this stuff.

So I remember I like, I got really serious about it. Before it was kind of fetish stuff, but I knew if I was a dom that I had to like try, right? So I went out, I put like my last 40 bucks in this like shitty ass latex bikini, took a bunch of pictures, made a Twitter, and I just started. I was like, this is what I'm doing. And then I remember when I started, I also saw Fendom financial domination. And I was like, whoa, I can do that. But I knew that the interracial thing was really where, like, I was going to make the most money.

So I was like, yup, like hashtag Fendom, hashtag Ebony Dom, you know. And this is all on Twitter. All on Twitter. Especially at first it was all on Twitter. I was like, yeah. you know, I'm a new young hot dom and I want to bust your fucking balls open and then it pretty much just like snowballed from there. Yeah, that was pretty much how it started. I have- So people were reaching out to you on Twitter? Immediately. Yeah. And was it local people or just like

from all over? It was from all over. I remember it. This was about like, maybe like seven years ago. So I feel like Twitter was very different then. It was like, you could do like hashtag boobs and it would like show up. Like there was really no shadow ban. There was nothing like that. So I could just post and people would just come to me. It used to be so easy to get followers as a sex worker on Twitter. Like it was crazy. And I would say within an hour, I had people at least messaging me being like how much for a Skype session, how much for this, how much for that. So it would be like video calls if they weren't local. Yeah, it started out as video calls for sure. And then I did more clips. And then I did a couple of other different things. We'll get into that. I will.

say one of my very first things. I think it was called team viewer, a team viewer session. And it's pretty much this software that people in IT use, like let's say you're calling in on a support line. My MacBook isn't working. And the person goes, I'm going to remote access your computer and like click through and find out what's wrong with the computer. You could do that, but like as a DOM. So people were like going on people's computers as they're watching, drinking off, of course, shopping on their card or like mailing themselves, like crazy extravagant gifts and like the men watching in real time, like you type in what you'd like to buy. And my first team viewer session, I got, I went to his PayPal and made him send me like $400

because I needed the money. I was like, this guy is just putting me on team like, what? What? And this was at the time where I was taking money on PayPal. You should never take money on PayPal as a second. worker but I didn't know and also like it was like a wasteland. It was crazy. Like there was so many like rules now and it's just it's very interesting. But yeah, the first thing was a team view recession. Like I said it was like 300, 400 bucks and that was pretty much it. I was hooked. Like this was

what I knew I was going to do. Like I just knew it. Mm-hmm. Oh, 100%. It's like not only is it easy money. I was just good at it. Like now that I'm older and I know a bit more what these guys are like looking for, like I was just good at it. Like I just, I have fun with my job. Like I do not hate men. I don't dislike men.

There's nothing about that. I just think that it's like I think it's fun. I think it's funny. Like you were paying me $500 to do what to you? Like that's, I think it's hilarious. And normally, honestly, like my subs, like they are funny. Like they're people.

They have humor. What we're doing is kind of naturally humorous. And when someone is always mean to you, you know, you would like to be like a person with them every once in a while, you know what I mean? So yeah, I don't hate men or anything like that. I just found it fun because I was good at it and because I made good money. And yeah, I want to say like three weeks later, I quit my job at Francescas. I was like, I'm wasting time.

You know, the six hours here could be one hour at home and then I can do whatever I want. for the rest of my day or month or whatever it may be, my bills were so cheap. Like two sessions was my bills and weed and makeup, you know, like it was pretty crazy. So, yeah, that's kind of how it all started out. I'm Anna Garcia, host of True Crime News, the podcast. Every week, we bring you in-depth coverage on cases making headlines,

as well as those that go under the radar. Tune in for murders that defy explanation, mystery seeking exploration, and shocking secrets that will leave you breathless. Each week we honor the victims by going beyond the salacious in our search for justice. Crime never stops and neither do we. Listen to true crime news available now wherever you get your podcast. So everything you were doing at this point was like Domitrix's work.

Yes, up until I had like gone online and began clips. It was all Dom stuff at first, 100%. I've never done anything that isn't BDSM. Like I've never done anything else. I don't do any sort of like vanilla sex work. Like I just, I've always had this presence, which makes it also much easier for me to like have this job and do it like for a very long time. So, yeah, all that I've ever done is doming.

And then when I got more online with the fin dom and stuff, I began to do like more of an online pivot. It was also just a bit less daunting. Like I said, I began when I was like 20. I had no fucking clue what I was doing in terms of physically doming somebody safely. I had to whip people. I have to like flog people. I have to like shock them with like, you know, human cowlpraz basically.

I don't know any of this shit. Like I don't want to hurt anybody. I didn't know anything. And I didn't feel comfortable just going out and just like beating on people and not even knowing like how to do CPR or some shit. Like, Jesus. That was just the way that I felt. So I was doing the online thing for a while.

So that was like nobody in person at this point besides that one guy at first. Yeah, no, it was that one guy and then I was online only. Got it. I was doing like Dom sessions online. Sorry. No, you're fine. Moving everything around. You're fine.

I was doing like video sessions where I would just make guys just do pretty much whatever. Like I wanted them to and also on the phone as well. But yeah, that was the main thing I would do. And then I was just kind of just like ready for the next level. I was like, I really want to like Dom guys in real life. Like, this is cute, but like I'm ready to go back to what I know, like the real thing, right? And I just didn't know where to start. I began looking for dungeons nearby me where I lived because in some major cities, you can pretty much go to a dungeon and ask to work for them as a contractor.

And they'll either bring you clients or you bring a dungeon. Like you just Google like dungeons near me. Yes. Like I shit you not. But like when you Google that, like it means like Domwork? It could mean any sort of like king space or king playhouse basically. But in my case. But that's what a dungeon is.

Yes. Yes. Essentially. That's what I looked up. I was like BDSM dungeons near me. Got a couple of results. But a lot of them were like playhouses like I said. And I found this one place that I thought was most like a dungeon.

But it was a playhouse. and I begin volunteering there. Oh, wait, I did forget to mention one thing. I will say the reason why I think I am good at my job, I played sports for like the first like 14, or I should say, about 10 years of my life. I did the 12 sport award, always did basketball, volleyball, all that stuff. So I was always very familiar with the concept of like punishment and authority

and that I should be the authority because my punishments would be, better than what you guys are doing. I used to think I had a problem with authority, but I think that I just always knew that I could just do it like better. And like the right way at that. So that was definitely why I think I've always been good at this. I also in middle school did go to an all-girls school. So I think my formative years not thinking about or being around a boy really kind

of affected how I saw them. Because when I went to public school, I was like, oh my God, they're distracting and loud. and me and they kind of smell weird. I kind of like don't love this situation that I'm in. But yeah, anyways, so teachers, coaches, tutors, I've always had somebody that was like above me. And someone always punishing me. And I was just like, no, this is, I should be doing this. So that brings us back to the dungeon.

The dungeon. Yes, how could we forget the dungeon? So, yeah, I was 20 years old. I remember I applied online with a picture of myself and they were like, come in. Like, you can come and volunteer. And there were options. There was like ticket sales. There was cleanup.

Not doing cleanup. And there was like bartending and being a DM, a dungeon master and kind of overseeing, making sure that everybody is playing safely. And I was like, I want to be a bartender. So I was a bartender at this, it was huge. It was like, wow, I couldn't describe you how big it is, but it is like a, like a warehouse. It's a full-on warehouse and it's just all red. There's going to be, God, there's everything.

There's cages. There's crosses. There's sofas. There's second rooms. It's just this big, huge air-conditioned warehouse for fucking and for play scenes. There's paddles, whatever you might want. It's there. And you can pretty much do whatever you would like with it.

And my job were to come in for the parties. So they would often hold like munches or they would hold these big huge parties where they need someone to serve like refreshments. And because it was a very- For people naked in there? Oh, yes. Okay. So people just walk around naked.

Yeah. So that was not a problem for me. I definitely have not always been a sexual person at all. But just being nude and that sort of stuff. Never like phase you. Okay. No. And especially if I'm not the one getting fucked, you know.

And if I'm not in a sexual. mindset, I don't care if you're naked. Like, I'm also not naked, so I don't, it's whatever. So, yeah, so I remember my first shift, they were like, by the way, there's no alcohol. It's a very intense space. You cannot properly consent to, like, being lit on fire or, like, cut or anything like that if you're drunk. So they were like, no.

So all that I was serving was, like, Sprite and ships and Gatorade and water to people. So it was my very... How to keep them hydrated. Oh, my gosh, you need to be. Yeah. People can pass out. Like, these scenes can be very... intense and people just don't know their limits sometimes you know they get very excited and sometimes like

you might not be able to breathe babe like you should was there any filming going on like what no okay no no no no no no that was the big thing like if anyone was filming anything like phones taken got it might as well destroy it like banned from here and anywhere surrounding so it was a pretty like private place oh yes it's they're insanely safe they're very private um i think you have to be 20 to even go in there so there's no like even a chance of a high schooler or anything or anyone um being in there that is not of age so yeah it was a play party was my very first shift i remember it was alien invasion night and i didn't know that was one of the biggest nights of the year for this space and there was i want to say anywhere from 175 to like 220 people it's a it's a fucking big warehouse

so um it started i was the first shift and it was just like me and little crop top just 20 years old, just ready for just, you know, maybe some weird outfits and like maybe 20 people come in. Oh my gosh, no. An hour in, easily 80 people. People are also engaging in scenes, which is pretty much, you know, engaging with your partner or partners in a scene, whether it's flogging, whether it's being inspected, anything like that. So it was everyone performing a scene. So I remember what really stuck with me the first time was that. that they had, we were bringing everything out before everything started. And a girl handed me a box.

And I looked inside of it. And it was a bunch of plastic one-use speculums. And I was like, why do we have like all these speculums? They were like, oh, for inspection for like alien invasion night. And they put the box like in a corner where people were being inspected. And I came back halfway through when they were all gone. Like everybody was getting inspected, probing, opening up. like it was a lot like it wasn't it definitely wasn't traumatizing but it obviously is a sensory

overload um it's one thing to see bdsm in porn also i don't watch bdsm porn i never had a bdsm phase a bdsm porn phase but it is one thing to see it in front of you on a screen and to see it in front of you in real life oh absolutely and also to be to you you want to look away If you look away, you're looking at someone else, doing something else very similar. So it really is like, I guess it could be seen as like an orgy almost. But instead of sex, everyone is like beating each other or like dog walking people, anything of the sort. And yeah, sometimes there's like needles and all sorts of stuff.

This party was crazy. Like it definitely was crazy that it was my first shift. It was like just probably one of the most intense parties that I. had ever been to. Did you like it? Yeah. Okay. It didn't turn me on or anything, but like, you didn't, like you enjoy.

Oh, yeah. I mean, yeah, I knew what I was signing up for. It's more like intriguing. Yeah, I was like, oh, wow, we're really doing this. Like, wow. And when you said there was like needles and stuff, like, would people actually like be using needles on each other or like? Um, it's kind of like, I'm not into needle play, but it kind of is like a needle kind of

just going through like a very thin barrier of your skin and it kind of comes out on the other end. I'm not see do you see why I was like I need to do some research because this is some serious shit like because I don't know what the fuck I don't even do that as I said I don't know what that is I loosely explained it because I've seen it but I've never done that like this people are very committed to this lifestyle and a lot of people have been a part of this lifestyle for decades so they know what they're doing I don't know what I'm doing I have no idea what's going on here you know what I mean and I remember I definitely felt comfortable it was just like, whoa, when I first saw it all, it's just really just like a lot of taking. I'm not going to say it was easy. It was kind of like, whoa. And these people are not like, they're not unattractive. They're just like older.

Just most people, you know, when you get older, you see what you like and you start acting on it. Yeah. So it's just older people. And I didn't really mind any of it. And it's funny that you asked me that because there was this joke amongst the staff that I was a voyeur. And anybody was like, oh, like Mandy, like she's a voyeur. like a hundred percent like she never plays with anybody she kind of just like watches and like observes like she's got to be like a voyeur i'm i was not a voyer i was just like i'm taking in my

knowledge so that i can do this on my notes i'm taking notes babe like i'm not a voyer it's fine i mean people didn't mind it because they have like this young hot girl like watching them fuck or whatever they think is happening um so yeah but that was the thing like so if anything crazy ever did happen they would come to me at work they'd be like man you have got to go in that room and see what is happening over there right now. Like they would come to me and tell me, because we're all kinky. And they're all like, yeah, like you like that. I'm like, I don't know if I like it, but it's, I've certainly intrigued as to what's going on.

So yeah, I volunteered there for about two years or so. And I would get paid like by people that came. They would tip me, people that were regulars, guys that, you know, thought that if they tip me enough that I would like be a sub. for them because even though I was in this space and I was like, I'm a dom. Like, I was a young girl. And there are a lot of older male doms who are just like gross. And they want to find like a young, submissive girl to just turn inside out basically

in terms of kink. And I just wasn't that person. They'd be like, oh, you know, oh, you're a dumb, huh? Like condescending. Like, yeah, I am. Like, not going to be a sub for you. I don't want to fuck you. Like, you're old.

Like, I don't want to sleep with you. like it's not like that but um those guys i guess would tip hoping that one day that i would just be like yeah you spend enough money like you can just do whatever so did you only bartend when you were there or did you do other stuff yes i only bartended um that was my main thing yeah sometimes i would like maybe like switch the trash out of like the sex room but that was pretty much it there wasn't a lot of sex there actually now that i bring that up i want to make that very clear there's not much sex like it is strictly play scenes i think maybe at the end people might have sex, but I normally was off my shift then.

Okay. Mm-hmm. So, yeah, haven't seen a lot of, uh, no, haven't seen a lot of group sex. But I had, well, it was one time. The scene is crazy. And I think I did have this one written down. Um, this was, yeah, this was pretty crazy, actually. I don't know what the night was.

It was a general night in general. And I had been working here maybe about like 14 or 15 times at this point. And, um, there was this. guy that would always come in sometimes with like different women, but I had seen him around quite a bit. And so we came in with this girl that was like visibly young. Like she had to have been my age or younger at the time. And the youngest you could be to go into this space, no doubt. And walked her in, she was on a leash. And he kind of like stops the whole party and is like everyone. And we're all like, yeah, what's up, babe? He's like, if anyone wants to be orally served by

my sub right now, meet us in the room there in the corner to be orally serviced by my sub. I was like, oh my. Like, okay. Damn, shoddy. All right. So he kind of just like walks over to the corner with her and I'm at the bar watching and everyone's kind of like five people just get up. They just get up and they just be lying for that fucking corner.

They just get up and you start walking towards it. Then two, three more people get up. Then a girl gets up. and then they're all just like in the corner. And in this room, I can't see it. So I'm kind of just like, well, does anybody need water? Like, and so about like 10 or 15 minutes go by and Rising Butterfly, that was the name of one of my coworkers was Rising Butterfly.

She was like, Mandy, I'll watch the bar. You've got to see what the fuck is going on in that room. And I was like, I don't know if I do. And I remember, this is probably one of like my most vivid memories of this. I remember I was walking into the room and there is this girl and she is fully naked and there are at least, I don't know if I missed the number, but there were 10 people actively on top of this girl like jerking off on top of her. She's like putting two dicks in one mouth.

Like one guy is coming on. It was crazy. One guy is coming on her. I guess she had like, I guess they were kind of like whipping her or something because she was just full of cum and like these red. welts and everybody was just like taking a turn with her and she was loving it this was very consensual i want to make that very clear there are dungeon masters in the room especially in a scene like this like she she loved it she was loving it i remember she was like visibly over the

moon with joy like with all of these like welts on her and all these dicks in her mouth and i was like you know what this is kind of beautiful it's kind of beautiful that people like feel free i guess in this. Oh my God. Like she just looked so happy. I was like, I guess I kind of get the kink thing. It wasn't for me, but. I'd like to feel that kind of. I was like, wow. Like she's living in. And I remember it was over, like about like an hour passed. And then she kind of just like, and I don't think anyone had sex with her either. It wasn't like they were like using her. It was just like oral servitude. And she just came and she just walked out. She was just like

dripping in it. She was sweating at this point. Obviously like she's sweating her makeup. up as just like, lashes over here. I wonder how much money she got for this. It could have been for fun, babe. She was a sub. She could have just loved it.

Wow. Mind you, this was a play space mainly. Yeah. People were just coming here for a safe space to play where you could have 10 strange men come to you

and drink off all over you and you could feel safe because there are five dudes who was their job is to put them the fuck out. So, yeah, this was, in fact, I remember play parties,

no money could ever be exchanged. Wow. Yeah, that was something. I had a tip jar, right? Yeah. But like you could not exchange money at play parties. I don't remember why. It might have been like a prostitution.

I was going to say. Yeah, yeah. They just didn't want to deal with the fucking issue of like being a hostile. So yeah, no. If she got paid, it was on demo. But I know in the bottom of my heart, that joy was free, babe. She did that for free. I was proud of her.

I mean, she was housed in it. And remember she comes up to me, like I said, covered and come. Like, eyelash all the way over here. And she's like, can I have some water? I'm like, babe. Do you need? a napkin, like anything like that. And but that was my job.

And I remember just her being like covered in nut and me being like, yeah, like, what do you need? Because it just wasn't that big of a deal to me, you know? I mean, considering what I saw happen to you, obviously, you could come to me a little bit wet. But yeah, I guess kind of knew that that was just like my job and that I was okay with this because, you know, I could see that things could be done safely and that people really do enjoy this.

Well, I was going to say, too, it's like, and this is we were talking about on the call. I think the reason why this episode is so intriguing is because this is so not talked about and the only people that are really experiencing it are the ones that are into it. But like we said, there's something out there for everybody. I think that a lot of people too won't admit this. But I think most people do have a kink or something that they're into. And obviously maybe it's not to that level. But I think a lot of people feel like ashamed or embarrassed.

Like they won't actually like do those things. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. Hold on. I will say that I've noticed that a lot of my clients and people in the kink space have always said that they've kind of like known that they were sort of into something kinky from like a very young age. So yeah, I think a lot of people have a lot of kinks and I think a lot of people like they know. And I mean, there are just certain things that you like. It's just, it's normal.

Like I said, I'm not into BDSM or anything. like that. But I do have things that like I like and then I've known that I've liked since I was like 14 or 15. But also that I feel like that you could handle those kind of circumstances and scenes and not be bothered by it. You know what I mean? Or not even not judge it. Oh yeah. I just like I said, I don't know. I just have never been like that. I just always knew that like sex was natural and I knew that people had urges. And I mean, obviously I'd seen porn. So I was aware that sex could be like hardcore. Like I knew what the extreme of sex like could look like.

And I was pretty much seeing it in real life. So I didn't really mind it. And if anything, in real life, it was, I don't want to say softer, but it definitely just, it feels like softer. Like there's two people that are genuinely connecting. Even if it was in a way that I don't want to connect with someone, you can see two people connecting and becoming closer like in this moment during a scene. Like I said, it's pretty beautiful.

Like I said, I'm not into it. But, like, I could definitely see and understand the connection that is made when you engage in a kink scene with someone, 100%. So you worked at the dungeon for two years. Yeah. Then I just kind of just, like, just one day just didn't go back. You know, it wasn't like just seeing the same people. And I pretty much know what I needed to see. I had gone to a couple of parties and met some people through networking.

But it's hard to meet other doms that are willing. to help other doms. I mean, I got it. You know, um, you don't want someone else to like take your clients and take your spot. So you don't really want to help someone younger and like maybe even hotter than you and teach them the ropes on how to safely play and how to dress and, you know, nobody wants to give anybody the fucking sauce, you know. So I was pretty much out here doing this by myself. I met a couple of women, like I said, who invited me to some king, private parties, but that wasn't really my scene either. I went to one dinner where the food was great, but it was all served on top of men as

like human furniture. Like they're on all fours. The plate is on top of their back and like you're eating off of them. Or like only the men bring us all of like our food and our drinks and stuff. And I mean, that's cool. But that really wasn't what I was looking for. I was looking to, you know, pay to play. That's what I was here for.

This stuff is fun. But, you know, I have my friends. I can just go to a normal dinner with them and just eat on the table. Like, that would be totally fine with me. So that was when I was like, I'm going to get into clips. And clips was a big, big way that I found clients, actually. I don't have a website. I didn't really go on Fat Life.

I began doing clips, which is, you know, porn, depending on how you look at it. I call them clips, but they're porn. They really just are. And where were you posting this? A site called Clips for sale. I don't know who can post that because it's like a porn site. Well, we say OnlyFans. But yeah, it's called Clips for Sale.

There's another site called I Want Clips. There's many vids. There's stuff like that. So, yeah, they were called Clip sites. That's why I refer to them as such as clips. And that was where I kind of started getting clients. I started out doing foot stuff, big, big, big foot stuff. That was my very first clip was feet-centric things and, like, crushing bananas with my feet

in like high heels. That was where things began until I began doing the dawn stuff. And I remember I was getting a big following from my feet and from crushing stuff. And I have big feet that have like size like men's 12 feet. Like they're big. People like big feet. They like certain things about feet. They love black feet.

You know, I want to worship your big, powerful black feet all day. It's what I hear all day. So it all is tied together. and I wanted to just do the DOM stuff. Everybody wanted to typecast me and have me do foot stuff or life, Femdom stuff. And I'm like, no, like, I'm here to like, I'm here to do this shit. So I began doing interracial domination.

And I remember one of my first clips was about like reverse racism. So I had a whip. And pretty much the script was me like whipping someone that was white and like, you know, verbally humiliating them for being white. and switching the roles. And, you know, I'm the one whipping you and I'm, you know, the person that's in charge. And I'm, you know, I'm the authority. And I remember that was it.

Like, sale after sale after sale after sale. And I was like, okay, this is like, this is what I'm fucking doing. So I was posting on my clip size and then I was posting more on Twitter. And I did have people find me through Twitter. And the first person that found me wanted to do a cash meetup. They wanted to meet up with me at Kowson Mall. they wanted to go shopping with me. And then I would just, like, have them, like, smell my feet in my car or some shit like that.

And this guy had been sending me money for a little bit. And he was like, I want to meet. Let's do it. I was like, let's do it. I don't get fuck. Like, I've been waiting for this. So we meet up at Towson Mall. And I remember he was very short.

Like, I've mentioned before, like, my side. I'll bring up my size quite a bit now since we're talking a bit about it. I'm six feet tall. and he was already shorter and smaller because even though some men might be like my height, they are still like smaller than me. So I remember he was like very visually into me like towering over him. And he was just like, I love you, basically. So we went shopping.

I made him get me like an Apple Watch and get me like some clothes and buy me some food. And I remember I was in Sephora. And this girl was like looking at us and she was like, have you seen, I haven't seen it, but have you seen like the second human centipede? And like the main guy is like this like short, you know, unsightly. That's like what he looked like. So imagine like me fully dressed like 2016 makeup like full glam with this like short white like sweating man. And I have all these shopping bags that he's holding and he's taking me.

shopping. Like, ha ha. And I remember this girl was like watching me and she was like, and I was like, don't look. Just look. Just look like, just look like. It's fine.

It's fine. So yeah. And I remember at the very end, we were in the food court and he like paid me cash directly. And he was like, I can't go back to your car. Like, I have to go soon. And I was like, okay, well, I got something for you since you know, you spent like a $1,000 on me. We were in the food court.

I went into the bathroom and I remember I took a cup from the Chick-fil-A and I pissed in the cup and I put like the top back on it and everything and I brought it out to him and like made him drink it like in the middle of the food court and he was like thanking me as he was like chugging a Chick-fil-A cup full of my piss day after my period barbecue sauce stage to the whole shabang. Oh my God. Holy shit. He said thank you.

Paid me 500 bucks after the fact. So. Wow. If you like it, I love it, babe. That is wild. Yeah, like, you paid me. You know, like, I've always been a hard worker.

Like, if you were paying me to do the job, I'm going to do it. If you were paying me to do things that you cannot dream of or have dreamed of, I'll do it. You just spent a lot of money on me. I'm maybe 21 at this point. I don't have 700 bucks to walk around with girls and piss away. You know, you do. And I understand the value of a dollar.

So I'm going to make sure you get your dollars worth, you know what I mean? You spend all this money. I can pee in a cup for you. Wow. So, yeah. That was my first, like, real-time meetup. And I was like, yep, meant for this. because like the pee thing just came to me in a dream almost.

I just was talking to him. I was like, I have to pee. Wait. Maybe you're an asshole. Yeah, like, I don't know. Maybe I'm just like a, I think I just, I don't know. I think people think that I'm like a really sadistic and like evil person. But like I really, it's not like I'm going to make this person drink my piss.

It's like, wouldn't it be funny if this, I wonder if they'll do it. Yeah. Let's see if they'll do it. And like, they always do it. Like, it's crazy. So yeah, that was my first real time thing. And then I got another client about two or three weeks later. And he requested that I used him as human furniture.

I mentioned that once before. So I was like, oh, human furniture, like, I'm like eating off of you. He was like, no. I want you to like sit on me. So I was like, okay, say more. He ended up paying a deposit, which normally they like don't do. But because he was like, I want you to sit on me, I was like, like maybe your ass cheeks on your face like could I get some more money on that like what are we

talk what's the vibe here because like I wasn't sure if he wanted me to face it on him because that's kind of like a bit more vanillaish to me anything with like my pussy and like your face or your genitals is like a hard limit for me because like I don't want to do that personally and um that's just not the way that I get down so I hadn't pay deposit in case he was weird if they pay it normally not weird. They're like, no, this is, I'm fucking here for this. I'll pay a deposit. So he paid me like 400 bucks. Um, and he met me at a hotel in the city. We met at like the four seasons or some shit. And he got a hotel. We met in the lobby. Um, quick hello, went right upstairs. You don't want to be talking and being like, how are you person that may or may not

be like a prostitute. Ha ha. Like in a hotel, you can't do that. We say hi. We could walk upstairs immediately. We go in the room. He only wants to be human furniture. So there's no like whips. There's no nothing. It's just bed. And like he kind of cleared the floor out. So he's like, all right, like pulls the money out, gives me the rest of my money. And then he says, okay, I'm going to have you start out by standing on me. And then we can get more into you sitting on me. And this was prior to like my weight loss. I was about 245 pounds. And I'm six feet tall. Like, I'm a big girl and this man, yet again, small. Small, white, short, small frame couldn't have been more than like five, seven. And he has me in my shoes and my

Doc Martins. He's laying on the floor. I'm standing on his chest. Like just standing, looking down on him, just like talking to him sometimes casually. Like I said, my subs are my friends. So we're kind of just like chopping it up. Like how is your day? Not how is your day, but, you know, talking about TV or whatever, and I'm just standing on top of his bare chest, just talking to him. Sometimes I would spit on him and spit on his face or I would try and, like, aim it into his mouth, like, for a game.

And he loved it. He fucking loved it. So we would do that for a little bit. He would be like, he would need a break sometimes, basically, because, you know, it's a lot of strength to hold something on top of you. And he would, he wanted me to jump sometimes. I was like, chill out. No, no, no, not too much, not too much.

So he needed a break one time and then he was like, okay, it's time for me to get on all fours. So he, like, I was like riding a horse. Like a horse is on all fours. You get on their back and like ride them. Like, that's what I did. I just sat on top of him like he was a horse and we just like were watching TV. I'm flipping through the fucking hotel room TV waiting for time to just like run out. I'm texting my friends.

And how long was a session? Two hours. Okay. Two hours. And it wasn't like time was like dragging on. It was flying by, of anything. Because it's just as far as I'm concerned, just me talking to someone. So it's just me chopping it up and I'm sitting on a weird seat.

Ugh. But it's a dude. Like, it's just no big deal. And I remember he was probably one of my longest clients. I saw him about like five to like seven times after that. And that was my thing. He was my furniture. I stood on him.

I sat on him. I spat on him. and he paid me like $1,000, now just go home. And was it always at a hotel that you guys would meet up usually? For him, yeah. Okay. Yeah. I guess he was used to doing it.

And also a lot of people have jobs where you can just use like the fucking points or whoever or get it, however you live. I don't know. I don't really care how you get it. I just care that I get my $1,000, you know, and that you don't murder me. So that's pretty much how I felt about it. Yeah. This is probably one of like my favorite stories.

and it's not as like grotesque, I should say. This actually happened to me, like maybe a year ago. I got a call from my friend. It was like 11 o'clock at night. And she was like, hey, babe. I was like, what's up? It's like 11 o'clock. She was like, I'm meeting up with this guy for a session.

And he's just really nearby you. So I wanted to just let you know I'm nearby. And if anything happens, just like, I'll call you. I was like, okay, fine. So I hang up. I'm, you know, on call for her, whatever. And then I get a text like five minutes later. I'm like, what? What do you need? She's like, um, what are you doing right now? I'm like, nothing,

you know, being your watchdog, what's up? She was like, can you get here in like 20 minutes? Like, he really wants to be dominated and he's, you know, in this mode where he's ready for it. And he was asking if I knew anybody that could dom him. And I was like, oh my God, it's so late. Like, I'll do it for a thousand. Obviously, I'm going to get him fucking go. But I'm like, oh my God, it's so late. Like $1,000, no doubt. Like, I'm not. thinking twice about it. I was like, okay, like, that's going to be $1,000, but I need the money, like right now, like right here right now. I text her that. I go. I pee. I hear a little like Venmo coin drop effect, $500. And she was like, get here and meet the other $500 ready for you. I was like,

let's go. Put it in my GPS eight minutes away from me. It's just meant to be, meant to make this money. I was like, oh, hell yes. So I remember I went to his house. It's about midnight at this point. We go inside and I can tell immediately that he is like on Coke. He's just like pacing. He's, I'm just going to do this a lot because he's doing this a lot. He's like, yeah, it's great to meet you. Like, did anyone come with you?

You know, is anyone with you or anything like that? Have you done this before? You know? Yeah. All right. So we can get this started whenever you're ready. Do you guys need anything? Like, he's just, you know.

bugging a little bit. And then he pretty much like, I get some water. And my friend, who was with me, has, you know, worked with him before. And she's like, oh, he's always like this. And I'm like, well, the time started when I came in. So I don't really mind what's happening. You know, I'll drink some water and just wait for him to get it together and, like, do some bumps, I guess, and do whatever he wants to do.

So about like 20 minutes go by and then he is ready. He takes us to the bathroom where he has my friend get in like a a bubble bath and he begins to like massage her feet and he wanted me to tell him how to worship her feet, how to like suck on her toes, how to massage her feet, like what to do with them or not do with them. I don't think that he was very attracted to me. I think, well, I think he was, but he, it was his first time being dominated. So I think me doing these things to him and not doing sex. He was like, just a lot of things to take in, basically. But I mean, he was into it. So I was telling you how to worship my friend's feet. I'm pretty much telling him that he's worthless.

I'm having him recount when he first knew that he was a submissive person the first time that he ever worshipped feet. He was a foot guy. That was his main thing. So I pretty much just get clients to talk about their beginning with kink, kills time. Always kills time. So, yeah, I'm killing time. He's sucking on her toes. And I'm like, this dude is like, sucking all my girl's toes right now. Like, oh, my God.

He's loving it. He's loving it. No big deal to me, right? And so then, um, uh, after a certain point, he's like, I need to do a bump. So hands are covered in water. So I mean, look, I'm getting paid. So I like, you know,

I get a little bump ready for him and I like bring the bump over to him and he's like doing the bumps and he's like, I actually need a line. So I'm like, I'm cutting up a little line for him or whatever the fuck. And he's doing his lines. He's back. into it. He's back talking his ears off. He's back just shoving my friend's toes in his mouth. You know, the bubbles in the bathtub are gone. Like, it's been a minute or whatever. And then I'm

like, let's get out. Let's go like switch or do something else. Let's do like some like domy stuff. Because my friend was like, I'm tired of this. Like let's do some double dom stuff because she wanted to always double dom with me. So then we go downstairs. We get some rope that he has. And now he's even more nervous because he's about to get tied up, get double domed. never dawn before. And now it's going to be two girls. So it's like it's me and my other friend. And she is very hot.

So it's just two heavily modified women that like huge boobs, like ready to just do what you have paid us and asked us to do. So he is very, very intimidated. He's kind of just like, do you guys need bums? Do you guys need lines? Do you need anything? Nope, I'm good. You know, I'm of sound body and mind for what I'm about to do. and he was like, well, can I queue up some videos?

Can I just queue up something in the background so I can like. I'm like, babe, we're in your house. We're in his house. Oh, I'm sorry. We're in his parents' house. I find out later on there we're at his parents' house the entire time. But whatever, dude, you paid it. I don't get a fuck where I'm at, as long as I'm safe.

And he's like, I'm just going to cue something up in the background. And there's like, oh, this TV is huge. Like, it is like a fucking movie theater screen, like mounted in this dude's living room wall. It's a huge house. and he starts like queuing up like YouTube videos. And I'm kind of just getting the rope together and stuff. I'm not really paying attention. You know, they're doing bumps and lines.

I recently had a friend that OD'd on Fent. So I like don't want to see anyone doing a bunch of drugs with no testing strips. I'm kind of just like looking away or whatever. And then so I'm not seeing what he's pulling up. And so he starts pulling it up. He plays it and he's like, all right, like let's begin or whatever. And it's this video of this girl and she's like, laying down and she's like heavily bound, like with chains and like her hands are kind of like

fully like tied together, like no chance of escape. And, um, her feet were as well. And another girl gets on top of her and begins to start tickling her. And it was a very intense like tickle fetish porn playlist on YouTube that he had in the background the entire rest of the entire session. So, um, we are tying. him up. We're writing fucked up words on him an impermanent marker. We're calling him worthless. We're telling him he's nothing like we're spitting on him. We're putting like wick cream on his

head and embarrassing him, about to give him a swirly. And we're doing all of this in the entire time in the background, full volume is a woman hysterically laughing because in the background is this tickle porn. So whenever I'm like doing something, all that I hear is laughter. And sometimes I'm laughing and she's laughing. It's a very intense, crazy moment for me. I can only imagine how it was for him. Like, he is just over the moon with excitement and fear. And I remember I made him do Coke off of my friend's feet.

He loved that. I have two questions. Are usually when you're dominating these guys, are they hard? Yeah, sometimes. Okay. And do they ever, like, finish? Or it's just like... Sometimes, like, I'll make them, like, come on food and eat.

it like I'll I'll let them come but like most of the time like no okay sorry and then the other question is are you ever in these moments like do you ever get scared no for your safety no okay mm-mm no damn I'm trying to think I mean no I know how to fight but outside of that just the people that request this do not really have an aggression towards women in that way obviously right Like if you feel like, if you feel as though your role as a man or as you as an individual is to serve and submit to women, that women are beautiful and should be worshipped, that I am literally exist to serve you, that I exist to make your life easier, that I exist to just breathe your air. You know what I mean? Yeah. Let, oh, fuck.

Where is it going with that? Because they always say that shit. Well, you were saying, too, like, it just doesn't make you feel like scared or uncomfortable because of that. Yeah. Like, yeah. If you truly believe that you are supposed to worship. women and you love worshipping them, you definitely like don't want to hurt them. Okay.

And it's more, I feel like too, for you, it's like viewed as like your business. So it's not, okay. I mean, obviously with any sort of sex work in real life, there is an element of danger, but I have never felt in danger in my job, which is pretty cool. I've definitely had some online clients that have been like a little weird, but I've never had any sort of scary real time experience. No, no. They're just like, like I said, old.

Yeah. I've never, I feel like a lot of sex workers like kind of like hate their clients or like make fun of their clients. But like my clients are people and they're people that pay me well. So I really have no problem with them. I think a lot of people think that people with certain fetishes are weird. And that if you have a certain fetish that you're a weird person and some of my clients are weird, but it's not because of their fetishes. Like they're just strange people. Right.

This is not like, this is the least weirdest thing about them. them. So yeah, that's definitely probably one of my craziest stories was doing this like pretty much for two hours straight. Wow. Yeah. Okay, wait. Did you want to talk about, this came to my mind as you were talking, but did you want to hit on the weight loss thing? Yeah, we can hit on that. Okay. So yeah, that was actually a pretty big turning point for me and getting more clients and making more money online was losing a bunch of weight. COVID happened and I just was looking at my And I was like, this is, I've had enough. I just knew that I had to make a change to my body.

You know, at this point, I've been a sex worker. I know that, you know, when you go shopping for a product and you don't quite know which product to pick, what normally would stand out to you on a shelf or in general, the packaging? So I just felt like my packaging could have been better. And I wanted my packaging to be a lot better. And I knew that for a DOM, especially, there. it just is like that natural air of like dominance and power that people look for. And I knew that if I looked not only thinner but stronger, that I would be able to make more

money and it would be easier for men to submit to me. And it also would be easier to be taken more seriously professionally and other avenues of my life. I have other jobs outside of being a and I felt like weight loss would have really catapulted me into more money and opportunity in all avenues. And it did. I remember I lost a bunch of weight. I didn't post clips for like seven months. Seven months.

I lost about 40 pounds at that point. I came back and everybody was like, what the literal fuck? But you look hot. I'm like, yeah. Yeah, I know. Have men eating. Have men eating. No, I did it in a very healthy way.

I love health and fitness. So it was a really fun journey. But yeah, I remember I made more money when I came back. It was way easier to get sales. It was much easier to just like translate things into more money. It was so much easier. So that was definitely a big portion of my journey was losing a bunch of weight. Losing a bunch of weight changed my life financially in like every single way

possible. So yeah, wasn't anything too big to touch on, but it is definitely like... It was part of your journey. And I know that sex workers have a lot of issues with self-esteem, with self-image and their body. And that definitely was a big reason why I got like pushed like to like, I guess, the brink and wanted to lose weight. Because I mean, you see on sex work Twitter, everyone making so much money and everyone is so skinny or everyone's boobs are so this and like their tattoos or so that and like I don't look like that. It's normal to have those feelings. And it definitely does affect me. It doesn't really anymore now that I like am fit, now that I have my niche like down, I'm less insecure. But there definitely was a lot of

insecurity around my weight because I was making porn. I was making porn. I was selling sex. And it was difficult. It was difficult to constantly see myself and know that. I could have or I could be better in their eyes. I could be better. I could be skinnier. I could be fitter. I could be scarier. So, yeah, that was a big part of my journey, 100%.

Plus, now I can punish my subs with exercise and they're kind of like into it. Yeah. Yeah. And then how did you get into the phone sex work? It just kind of came along with territory. I was on Twitter. I saw a girl doing phone sex. I was like doing what?

with this voice. So is that just something that you offer along with the other stuff or is there like a whole another site? It's a whole different website. It's a whole different thing. But it is Femdom. I only have a Fendon phone sex line where, you know, interracial because that is just strictly verbal.

That is what I do. Every single time I'm on the phone is interracial or someone who wants to be bimbled, basically. A guy wants to be turned into a girl, wants to tell me how to transform them into a girl and be the prettiest girl they can be. Teach them how to dress. Teach them I do their nails, do their wigs, walk, talk, suck dick. Like, they want me to take them through all of it. But that's the big thing that I do on my phone sex line is interracial domination.

Just like, this is going to be really fucked up. But this is like just the reality of like my job. When there is anything involving police brutality against black people, I make four times as much money on phone sex every single time. Wow. Like go on the phone Like literally when George Floyd happened I like put my phone down

And got on my computer and got on my line Because I knew what it was baby It's fucked up That's crazy Crazy crazy It paid my rent for months Off of one week Because this big

You know It's kind of fucked up Yeah my job's kind of fucked up So there is that thing Because the domination interracial Is a huge portion of who I am So yeah That's pretty fucked

up but you know someone's got to make it you know someone's calling i'm here to answer babe but i got call me so yeah it's business uh so yeah that's definitely the big thing is phone sex and i'm really good at verbally humiliating people like that's what was something that i wanted to ask you like if i was i don't know a guy how would you verbally verbally humiliate me we're beautiful so i don't know pretend I'm your short, little chunky, sweaty man. Okay. Well, normally with my subs, they're just chatty. So they'll talk about themselves and people tend to kind of bring up their own weaknesses

in front of like sex workers or just pretty people in general. So I'd probably, if you mentioned anything about growing up and being mocked, I would go for that first. If you, if I think that you think you were a disappointment to someone. oh, I would go for that heavy. I would say, what I normally say is that people are a disappointment and that they are losers and that everyone around them thinks they're a joke. That's probably what I would tell you.

I would think that all of your friends, all of your family, they're all embarrassed by you. Like, everyone around you pities you. Like, you are nothing. Like, you, what you were meant to do is serve me or serve whatever woman comes next. Like, you were nothing. Like, the reason why you are so, submissive and you know it is because you are just like that week. You belong at the bottom. You belong at my feet. You belong like at the lowest point humanly possible is normally what I go for.

I notice when people have anxiety, they tend to say the same things. And that is like, I'm worried that my friends and family hate me. They do. That's what I do. They do hate you. I hate you. I mean, look at you. I can look at you for 10 minutes and know why. No one wants to love you. why no one wants to be with you. Like, it's clear as day. That's, yeah, like, for real. And they love it. And they, oh, I love it.

It kind of reminds me. I've had a couple people, my only fans want the dominatrix type stuff. And there was a couple guys that wanted me to wear like the black leather and all that stuff. Yes. And there was somebody that there was this guy that he wanted me to like humiliate him. And it wasn't anything sexual. Like I could be fully clothed and just talking to the camera. Favorite.

And it was like the same kind of thing. telling him like why he's so worthless and like why he doesn't deserve to see my naked body. Yep. And like how he's just so like such a weak person and all like just not worthy. So it's funny. Oh, sexual inadequacy. How could I forget? That would be a big thing that I would go for.

You know, most guys are very insecure about their dicks. Yeah, like small penis humiliation. Oh yeah, small penis humiliation, premajor ejaculation, all of it. Like chastity. I love chastity. just because it's all has to do with just like coming and control. And I do believe that you do not deserve sex. You don't deserve to have sex.

You don't deserve to come and feel pleasure. Like you deserve to just feel pain and suffering. Like you deserve nothing. And I just feel like you don't even deserve to come. Like that's also what I do. Or I'll be like, if I have a session with them and they come really fast, I'll be like, this is exactly why like you're here. Like no woman wants to be with you.

You just came in two minutes. Who would want that? Like you're a joke. And when you leave the room, people are laughing at you. Women laugh at you. Your friends go to their group chat after fucking you and say this dick was weak. And women laugh at you. You're a joke.

That's a big thing. Sexual inadequacy. And just being lonely. It always seems to drive at home for people. I guess it kind of makes sense. But yeah, people just, it's interesting. It is. It is.

Like it's crazy to me that like that's what turns people on is like that control factor. Because even like what you were just saying too, like I had that also like some, this guy would say to me like and it was crazy to me because it was literally just over messages. Like it's not like it was like phone call or anything. But he was like, can't. Can't. No. Can't.

Not until next week. But they like love that. Have you ever like put a guy in chastity? Oh, wait. You do online stuff. No. Well, yeah. I put guys in chastity all the time because like can I come and I'm like, no.

And then I'll make them. pay me to take it off. I've had a guy mail me his key once. These people, like as I mentioned, sometimes people do not understand their limits. And like one time I had a guy that mailed me his key. Like he,

I put him in chastity, but he didn't tell me and he- Is that like when their dick and balls are like- In a cage? Okay, yeah, I've gotten pictures like that. That's funny. Yeah, like.

Can I send you a picture of somebody like that? I have like, yeah, there's people. And like their, sticks are usually really small. Mm-hmm. Well, I mean, they're kind of just like, they're really shrunken up and dilapidated. They're in the fucking cage. Like, they're suffering. It's like big balls and shrunken little shaft.

Yeah, guys love the idea. I think it hurts to get hard in most. I think you just can't get hard in most of them. So he shipped you the key? Mm-hmm. And he was like, I thought that you would like it. Like, you know, I want you to be the person that holds my key. And I want you to be able to, when we finally meet up, you can finally unlock it for me.

And I was just like, we should. you would have brought this up because like that is dangerous you just sent me as far as I know the only key to your dick and balls how are you peeing like what is happening so yeah sometimes people do take it too far i sent the key back um and we did end up still talking but people definitely take things too far in the sense that they don't know their own limits and sometimes subs will go so far to please you and themselves that they kind of like lose reasoning Yeah. So that's kind of my job was to make sure they don't like get too excited also because you can hurt yourself. Yeah. That leads me to my other question. Have you ever felt really, really sad or bad for these people?

Oh, yeah. I definitely have. I think I feel, I would probably say that I feel the most with like Fendom financial domination. I do feel bad because Some of the people that speak to me are just genuinely, like, mentally unwell. And sometimes there's definitely been some moments where I feel like I'm taking advantage of someone who is losing it. Or it's not even someone who is losing it, someone who has an addiction. Because I am speaking to people that have porn addictions. People are addicted to porn. They are addicted to sex workers.

They are addicted to the attention. they typically have another addiction, whether it's gambling or some sort of way to make fast money. So they just burn it with me. So yeah, I definitely have felt like I've taken advantage of people's addiction to pornography. I definitely have. And I have felt bad about that. But there are some times where I have to pay my rent. Like it's just me.

And I can't feel bad because you sent me $800. because you don't have control. That $800 is my portion of rent. I have no time to think about whether it's you or it's me. But they're definitely not anymore, but there were definitely some times where I did feel bad. And I have made subs cry when I verbally humiliate them. And some of them were like, you really like took it like too far. And I'm like, damn, but like you told me to.

Yeah. I don't even know you. Like, you just, you just kind of gave me what I had to work with and I kind of just went there. But yeah, sometimes I do feel bad. But then I'll have another. Then you remember that it's your job. Yeah. And also then sometimes I'll have another session with them where I'll be talking to them generally.

And they'll say something really awful. And I'm like, oh, yeah, I don't feel bad. Right. That's normally what happens. With Fendom, that used to happen a lot, I would kind of feel bad because I think sometimes, they're lying, but they're like, oh, this money is for like my child care for the week, but I want you to have this $1,000 and not like my child care provider. And I think most people are full of shit, but in the bottom of my heart, I know that some

of those people were not lying. Right. Because they have an addiction. Like, they seriously, like, have a problem. And I definitely have had some moments where I'm like, this is like kind of crazy. But then I think about why they're sending. women on the internet thousands of dollars for as opposed to giving it to their child and I think that they are a piece of shit and they do deserve this or likely because it is fendom um the interracial

thing comes back into play of reparations and all that stuff of like you know you owe me all this money for all this slavery and blah blah blah blah blah blah so um naturally people do say things that actually are pretty racist so um i do feel bad and then you tell me that you think that black women are so strong and their big lips and their big asses and their long nails are so beautiful and their attitudes are so stank and you love that about us. And then really I don't feel bad about you giving me $1,000 because you're a piece of shit like so. It's very interesting.

Sometimes I feel bad and then I'm like, I don't actually. Makes sense. Got it. I know. I do feel bad, you know, for anyone, anyone's part. who was unaware of these spending habits and who like doesn't know. I feel bad for them. But for the individual, not really.

Not really. Yeah. I see that. Mm-hmm. People say that's fucked up. It's definitely a discussion in the community, but, you know, it is what it is. I know that you already had like a social media following before you began Onlyfans. And I guess my question is like, what was your first day of work like?

Like you logged in, you started the paywall, you posted the link, you got the subs, you go to bed, the next day you wake up, like, what was your first full day of work like? Did you have customs? Did you have like hundreds of messages? I mean, I'll never forget because I was like so shocked. But at the time, my boyfriend had told me that he, since I was posting pictures in my like bra or my thong or bathing suits on my Instagram story, on my pants had become a thing. he was like you should just charge people for it.

I was like, yeah, no shit. Did not plan on doing nudity at the time. And I remember the first night he helped me make it. I think I posted like me and booty shorts like close up or something. And I think me in a sports bra on a thong, I did not have fake boobs at the time, like with my ass on the counter. No fake boobs? No, not at the time. Oh my gosh.

I remember I think the first day. Like I kept getting subscribers and the money kept flowing in. I think in a day I made like 10 grand. Yeah. And I was like, I was like, this is insane. It's addicting. Like I've never seen that kind of money. I didn't even know that was possible.

And for so little. And obviously like I think what benefited me was that I was in these vlogs with this group of friends. And these guys always I think saw my personality is more like outgoing and sexual because that's just how I am. and more of a flirty person. But I think seeing me in a natural setting, it sparked that curiosity of like, well, I want to see more of her.

So I think that because they could see my personality, that made them like it more. And then, no, I don't think I really did customs for a little bit. When I would, I think I started making my own content in the sense of like,

I would try to get more creative, like rubbing lotion of my body or things like that. But then I didn't start doing customs until I got more comfortable way. it. But yeah, I mean, I've had all different types of people in there. I've had the foot fetish people, people wanting me to put my phone on the floor and stomp on the phone. Favorite. And the high heel stomping on things. I've had the kind of dominatrix types of, which for me that was like a first. But I liked that more. It was easier for me because I liked that I could

keep my clothes on. Did you like it? Would you do more of it? He like in the sense of like I am so good at, I don't want to say dominating people, but I'm so good at like acting things out and pretending that like it is more natural for me to set my phone up. And like it's almost like they were giving me a script too. Like they would literally say like, I want you to say this. I want you to come at me for like being worthless and having no money and why don't deserve to see your body. And like that's so easy for me to sit there and be like, you're useless and nobody loves you. And like and the way that I say it like I say it like I mean it. And you know what I mean. saying yeah yeah you know what i mean so it's like that's always been something i that honestly believe

it or not that made me feel better than sending a custom of like my tits or something or like that's totally valid you know because it's just it's you can just talk to the camera and make somebody i mean if that's what you want me to say i'll say it all day long um so i had those those always made me laugh and we're funny um but yeah like you said it's fun it's funny and then oh sorry no you're fine but yeah no i think those were like the main things but i don't do customs as often now just because i didn't enjoy them yeah but yeah what do people ask from you the most aside from feet because i feel like everyone jerk off instructions duh that's a big thing yeah because like not to be forward you're hot and like you're like like classically beautiful so the j-o-i thing makes sense and like

you have beautiful hair like you would do great for joys because people just love and i don't know if i do any of it right because like i when people no you're doing it right look at you it's all right it's all right it's all right it's crazy because i feel like it's almost been like the self-taught thing like they'll be like can i have a joi i was like what is that they're like jerk off instructions i'm like okay let me get my little black vibrator like it's not it doesn't even look like a dick this was like when i first ever did it it's just this little curved black like vibrator not even a dildo and i'm like okay And I'm like, so this is what I would do. This is how I start.

Like always use your mouth and like all this stuff. And like then I kind of escalated. I'm like, okay, I went to the sex shop, got like a dildo that was an actual dildo look like a penis. And like that was more realistic and stuff like that. But even that to me was easier because it's like it's talking through and it's giving instructions. And it's like to me those.

It feels more like you're acting out a scene. Yeah. Rather than I'm. just selling my body for money. That's totally valid. And I'm glad that you brought that up because I know that is a big reason why my friends and family respect me. Yeah.

Because I'm a dominatrix and because I'm not like doing any sort of vanilla sex work or stripping or anything like that because it's less dehumanizing. I mean, in my opinion, I know a lot of conservative people that like it's all prostitution and it's all fucked up. But like the average person is like, like, oh, it's like different because you're like not showing your tits. And it's like, it's very insulting. But like I guess I can kind of see.

So I'm glad that you brought that up because that definitely is like a big reason why people think it's like cool. And my friends like don't kind of like shun away from it. I feel like the question that people always ask sex workers is like, what are your friends and family things? What the fuck do you think my family thinks? Well, I think too, not even just that. But it's such a anything, whether it's. It's whether you're a porn star, whether you're a dominatrix that's not doing anything sexually involved, basically. It's like people, because it's such a taboo topic in general, majority of people, I would say, don't.

I don't to say they might not like respect it or support it, but it's like they shy away from it. Like it's not something they really care to talk about. Like, oh, that's what she does. Okay. Like, but you know what I mean? That exact face is like, oh, awesome. Right. So it's either like if they're not judging it, they just don't really want to talk about it or no more.

about it makes people very uncomfortable um but i will be the first to say like nine over 95% of people are sick and twisted and i'm not even saying that in like a mean way no they are yeah people people sex is what makes the world go around like i mean there's other stuff in the world but like that is a huge thing and that's why people do so well and that's why it's a thing if if i mean if it wasn't a thing, it wouldn't work. You know what I mean? I was working. Yeah.

So I think that like a lot of people just don't want to talk about it. They kind of want to act like they're not interested in it. But like in one way, whether you like to watch simple basic porn, have simple basic sex, or you're kinky as fuck and want the complete opposite, everybody likes sex one way or another. We all love sex, baby. Yeah. And I think that's a big reason why I love this job and why I love doing fetishes and stuff in general because it's just fun.

I was going to say it's definitely more when you get into the fetishes and the kings, it's more intriguing. I had a guy once this might entertain you. I hope if he watches us, he doesn't mind me sharing. He was nice. He'll probably like it. He'll probably like it, honestly.

His thing was like abusing his own dick. Oh, yeah. And all he wanted to do was send me videos of him hurting himself. And I don't remember if I sent videos back, like, reviewing his videos. Maybe I did. I think I did. Just like kind of like what I thought of it and humiliating him more. But I'll never forget. I still see it in my head. He would ram his dick into the shower wall. Just ram it and punch it. Like hard? Yes. And like punch his dick and like pinch the tip and twist it. And I would, I did send videos back and I'd be like, you know,

that just wasn't hard enough for me. Maybe you're meant for this. Like, I want you to slam it harder. I want you to be in pain. Like, I want you to twist it off almost. And I think I told him one time, this case, just like, it's funny because things will just come to you. One time, something came to me, like, I want him to take a fork to it. Yeah. Like a fork to his dick.

And I think I remember him saying, like, wow, like, no one's ever asked you to do that. Like, I loved that. And I was like, well, how did it feel? And he was like, it hurt so bad and I loved it. Dude, they fucking love it. Like, to me, like, I. I said like I really can't trust it enough like that to me just felt so much more like I think like you said to it actually does make sense why I guess you wouldn't feel as much fear as if it was somebody

just like wanting you to come over for sex because like these people are looking at you like for this validation and this domination that it's like you almost feel more comfortable I can see like because somebody like him didn't creep me out as much as somebody that's saying more like sexual things about my body or asking for like so me you're asking for right the You see your asshole with that pussy baby? Yeah, it's different. Right. It's like I rather you just, it's just my face talking with a shirt on.

Like they don't even want, it's, like they don't want anything sexual. It's just purely the domination. Well, I mean, what we're saying to them is very sexual. And I do believe that. Right. Yeah. For them that is their turn on. Yeah. And like subs, they watch that stuff over and over and over and over again.

Way more than the average porn consumers. So they are really getting their money's worth out of just hearing you just cook the fuck out of them. Like, they love it. And there's guys too. there's one guy that just wants me to spam him with sock picks, dirty sock picks. Nice. And it's just my feet in a bunch of different angles. And it's just like it's wild, like the different things that get people off.

But I mean, provides careers. Seriously. Yeah, I don't, I have no clue where I would be. If I was not a sex worker, I probably would still be working at the fucking mall. Like, because I didn't mind working at the mall. I just knew I needed more money from working at the mall. I have no idea of where I would be if it's, it was not for sex work.

And I do believe I will always say this. Like people might not agree or want to hear it. But like some people are just good at it. Like you said like and I've always said like about myself like I might not. I'm at a better place now with everything. But like there was a point where like I really didn't want to do the only thing, only fans thing anymore. But like I knew that I was good at it.

Like I was like I've been doing it for this long. I have it down. Even if I don't do it the way somebody else. I was like I'm good at what I do. and I have it down to the point that it's like, I should just keep milking it until like I really can't. So it's like I think that there's some people that can just do it and there's some that just can't.

And if you find it and you got it and you can do it, do it. A lot of girls ask me how to be a dom. And like now that I am becoming like that olderish dom, like you just either got it or you don't. And I think it's really simple. Like I said, like I had never had any experience or knowledge. But like it's, I think it's, you just don't overthink it.

Like if somebody says, this is what I want you to say, I think if you have that kind of like acting sense to you where you can just put on this face and tell something. It's like almost like putting, I don't know, like even this is funny, but even with my, my dick ratings, I did so many that like I could just recite one to you

that it's like, it's almost like this acting job. You know what I mean? So it's like, it's just crazy. I love it. Oh my God. I'm so glad that you also loved on.

I want to go back. Why did you think about stopping OnlyFans? I think that for me it got to, like I did it for so long. It felt like that it just became like when I started it was it was exciting and it was fun. It was like, wow, I can make all this money from taking pictures of my body in different angles. And I was never somebody that was like I always showed my body off. I was never ashamed of it. I don't know.

I just didn't care. So but then I think as time went on, it just felt like it wasn't growing anymore. there was nothing coming out of it. And I was like, I want to, I want to be more. I want to do more. Yeah. And I think I also was just in a place in life where that is all I had. And I didn't see what other outlets I was going to make from it.

I totally understand that. Yeah. Yeah. I've been there. Right. And I think now I'm at a point where like I'm so passionate about this podcast and I love this podcast. And like, then I have the side of me that does only fans and I have my social media

career. And it's like I'm way more balanced mentally because I have the side of. of things that like I'm proud of and I'm passionate about. And if I didn't have the only fans, I couldn't feel this. You know what I mean? Exactly. So it's like they kind of go hand in hand. And also it's like another reason why I love this podcast is because I can have such heavy stories on here of like very traumatic experiences and lives of people. And then I can also bring into it this more like lighthearted, these kinks and these other things that are more taboo topics that like, but that's why I like the show because it's mine. I can say anyone is.

welcome. And I think that's something that's like, it's not really out there. It's like, this show wouldn't be my show if it was just one thing or one topic. Like I like that it's so diverse. Like anyone from any background and like it can come on here. And I know because if to me, it's like if your experiences and stories can intrigue me, it's going to intrigue a lot of other people. Yeah. Definitely. Definitely. If it's intriguing, I want it on my show no matter what it is. So that's kind of where it was at. But yeah, I think for a while I just didn't really want to do it anymore because I felt like how many more times can I post my naked body?

So real. You know? I feel you. And I just was like done with it. And I felt like I think with it, I was in a place in my life where I didn't really see, like I didn't have any other goals or ideas. And then when this took off, that all faded away. Yeah.

I feel like we're on the same page. Yeah. I felt really lost. It's a lot. That's a lost thing, I think. Because it's very conflicting when you are making enough money to live and living in excess, at least in my case, and still feeling like. Unhappy.

Yeah, or like, just like I feel like I'm just behind. Right. You know what I mean? Like I have friends that, you know, I'm at the age now. People are finishing med school. We're being doctors. We're being lawyers. You know, we have a family.

And I do sometimes feel like, should I be like working towards something? and I have like this secret anonymous, faceless TikTok that I thought would bring me more purpose, but I still feel like I'm like looking for it. And it's just kind of confusing. And I feel like you are meant to do this podcast. And I just feel like you just look so natural in it. And that's how I feel when I'm doing like my podcast.

But I feel like you were like meant to do this. Like you're really good at this. Or maybe being a dumb because you. Maybe a little bit. bit of both. No, it really is funny, though, because I feel like in so many ways, though, I always say this, like, this podcast brings in, like, a little bit of everything throughout my life that I wanted to do. Like, there was a point where I was like, maybe I want to be a therapist. And it's, like, obviously I'm not here giving advice. I'm not a therapist, but it's almost like a safe place

for people to just, like, talk and be vulnerable and open up. And then, like, I told you the FBI thing. And it's like, then I get kind of that, like, crime stuff in here and that having to turn it off and listening to how people feel and what they've been through. And it's just so interesting. to me because I get to do all these things and then it's like obviously my main source of income is the only fans which I will never be one of those people that because I know that there's some people that'll do something and when they get older they're like yeah going back I wish I didn't do that or and I can never say that because even if I did honestly feel that way one day I can confidently say I wouldn't have been I mean you need money to have opportunity so it's like and a lot of it yes so it's like I wouldn't be able to run this show and have people travel out here and help people out if I didn't have enough money to do so. So it's like, how else do you want me to make it? You know what I mean? Like that's what I've been doing.

You should make it an honest way is I think what they think. We should be making it an honest way or like working a real job, quote unquote, like the rest of us. But the world, I don't think people are willing to accept that the world is a very different place. And I'm not saying that's necessarily a great place. Like there's things that I see like just so this is such a random bizarre example. I don't even know if it's real because I didn't really look into it.

But like when I was, this is so random. But I saw it this morning. So it kind of fits. But when I was growing up, I used to love wrestling like WWE. That's always what I'd watch. And there was a scene on Facebook of this wrestler guy and girl on the stage, like in the ring with like the whole audience. And they were like basically playing out this sex scene. It was bizarre.

And like to me I was like, why is this happening? Like this is not what WWE was. Like if. And I understand. I know a lot of kids like it. I was a child when I would go and like if I was a parent I really wouldn't want like it was bizarre. I think I know what you're describing actually.

Okay. I think I saw a clip like that recently too. Yeah. And I was like what the fuck is it? So like I do agree that in some ways like things are kind of taking a turn that they don't need a take. But I do think we live in a world where there's this opportunity when it comes to I think serving these people that have different kinks and stuff like that.

That if you can make money from it and you're doing it in a safe. way and you're not hurting anybody and you're okay with it and you're comfortable why not we live in a hypersexualized world okay and and if to me what is the different like honestly because I know that there's girls people might not agree with this either I just don't give a shit but like there's like there's a lot of girls that have an only fan that don't show nudity right and like but people they'll still be judged because they have an only fan and it might just be bra and underwear whatever and yeah people are jacking off to it but to me it's like Victoria's see Secret shows have been going on for years.

And it's the same thing. Girls are walking half naked. You know how many guys have said like my first boner was a Victoria's supercalero? Right. So it's like it just to me it's like I don't think people realize it. But it's what the world has always been. It's just shifting. I think people have an issue with people capitalizing on it.

Yeah. I just feel like things are so misunderstood. And I just feel like it's not really either one of our jobs to explain ourselves. You know, people have heard the same arguments for it. And if someone doesn't like it, they just don't like it. And, you know, that's cool with you. But, you know, I do like it. And I do make money.

And I have to survive. That's what it comes down to. And you had to survive and you have to pay for your other avenues and pay for your home and pay for everything. And really, at days end, the only person that pays your bills is you and me. And the money's got to show up. You think when I go to my landlord, and not give him $2,000 that he goes, oh, did you show your feet for this? He goes, no, thank you.

Same time next month. Right. So that's just pretty much what it comes down to. Like, we are just two women doing our jobs, you know, just doing what is asked of us. People pay us for a service and we complete it. Facts. Facts. Okay, punishment.

So punishments. I have a couple of favorites. So like I said, I'm a big, big fan of Shastity because it's just easiest for me, easiest to control when a man hasn't had an orgasm in days, weeks, months, they'll do anything. But that's just from what I've learned. I like to do things that older people have told me how they've been punished as children. So I do that to my clients quite a bit. I remember one time my family member told me that their family member had them like put a bunch of grits on the floor and like get on

their knees and like keep their knees into the grits so it kind of like cuts in and like hurts their knees over time. I have people do that pretty often grits and like rice. I make people do wall sits and jerk off like while they're doing wall sits. Sometimes I'll like do this thing called like deep throat pushups. Well, I'll like suction cup a dildo onto the floor and I'll make them do like physical pushups and like open their mouth up and like take the whole dildo down as they go down in the push up oh they hate it it's bad like it's oh my god that's creative i mean look like um people want to be punished and sometimes people kind of like uh oh no you told me not to do this thing oh no i did it because like they want to be like punished like punishment um but like no sometimes

like you're being punished uh i think My favorite thing to do is to make, especially if it's online, I like making them get into a trash bag, like cut holes into the trash bag and put their whole bodies in it and, like, pour trash in themselves and have them, like, jerk off, like, covered in, like, their trash from the week or, like, their cum rags. Sometimes I'll be, like, jerk off and put it in this trash can for, like, a week and they won't know why. And I'll have them just pour all of their trash covered and come all over themselves because, like, they are trash. And I think that they should just be taken out and just thrown away.

And they love the trash bag thing. They love coming in the trash bag. It makes them all sweaty. I call them sweaty and disgusting. They love that. Um, I, I, I love dressing them up like clowns, but I really just love doing the clown makeup on them. Um, just humiliating them.

I love just like taking some fucking. face paint and just like holding their heads and just putting a little clown smile on them. And like I think it's funny. I like doing makeup. So I find it funny. But also like they get so much joy from it that it just makes me like laugh. Like I really do have fun doing this job because it's just like what will they do next? Like you know in Fear Factor when Joe Rogan is kind of like laughing as they're like or that's how I laugh.

Because it's like, holy shit. Like we're really doing this. And normally the clown thing is where I'm like, wow, like, I'm really doing this. And like when you are like painting someone's face and like spitting on them and calling them worthless and they're like smiling and rock hard, you're like, yeah, this is what it's all about. Wow. This is what it's all about. Like this is the lie. This is the lie, you know.

And then I go home and make a thousand dollars. I like that part. So yeah, I think my favorite punishments are like, physical things, like physically making them uncomfortable. Verbal makes me feel mean. It makes me feel like their mom, which they do like, I will say. I like verbal. Yeah.

I think because it's easy for me. I know. It is easy to do verbal, but sometimes I'm like, oh. It just feels like a skit. I like that. Yeah. I like that. I don't really mind.

Like, I don't ever feel bad. Like if you ask me to do it, I'm not going to feel bad. I love that. No, I absolutely love to. Maybe you should be a dom. Maybe. Maybe. Well, no, you're a podcaster.

You're the podcaster. That makes sense. Podcaster dominatrix. A little mix of everything. Look, you know, you've got a lot of layers to you. And people like those layers. And, you know, I love the layers personally. That is funny.

Mm-hmm. I'm curious being a dog. Oh. Oh, yeah. That's totally fine. So I'm married. Actually, I'm married. Really?

Mm-hmm. We've been together for like eight years or so. So I am married. But outside of that, I've never really had a problem with dating as a Dom. You know, it's never been an issue for me. I, like I said, I'm not into BDSM sex, not into rough sex. I mean, well, I'm not into BDSM. I know that much about myself.

So it's never affected my personal life. Because you're not doing anything sexual with these people. No, and I'm not. There's no penetrative sex. There's no, they don't even see my boobs. Like, they don't even see anything. So anyone that I've dated has not had a problem with it at all. It doesn't affect my relationship with sex, with my partners, my friends, my family.

Like none of that. Everyone knows that it's my job. Are they curious ever? Do you tell them stories and stuff? So, you know, my friends do ask for stories sometimes and then they hear them and they're like, actually, that's not. Never mind. Never mind.

So, yeah, I've definitely. I don't think I've ever had any friends say anything poor about it or judge me or anything like that. And I really can't say the same for like my family either. I think my family thought that I was a stripper for a really, really long time. But they just found out, I guess, through my podcast that I was doing the Dom thing. And they were like, oh, okay, that makes sense. So yeah, it hasn't really affect anything with my personal life. So I'm very lucky for that, though.

A lot of people cannot say the same. It's hard to balance both. Yeah. No, well, like I said, seriously, like the way that you told everything, I couldn't have asked for a better person. Because, like, I feel like sometimes it's people, it gets lost in translation, like, of, like, what they do in their experiences. But, like, you killed it.

Thanks. Thanks. And you really painted the picture of what you do and how you do it. It's very visual. Like, my job is just, like, soaking in the images. and it's like, you know. I now have permanent images that I've created in my mind from your stories. I'm sorry.

Which I don't know is if that's a great. No, I'm sorry. But no, like it's so intriguing to me. And seriously, thank you so much for opening up about it and wanting to come on. Because like I said, like I feel like it is such an intriguing topic. And it's something like from the jump that Julie and I were like, we need someone like this on to like tell these stories and explain what they do. Because there's people out there. But it's just not like I said, it's just not really talked about.

So it's like it's so interesting to me. And I feel like it's not talked about in a mature way or properly. That's true too. Yeah. But you really like said it like here's what you do. Here's how it is. And that's that. I love it.

That's that. That's amazing. Well, great job, seriously. Oh my God. Thank you. And thank you so much for having me. I do appreciate it. I had so much fun.

Good. No, you killed it.