We're All Insane - Escaping My Country

Episode Date: July 7, 2024

In this compelling video, we follow the harrowing journey of Sarah who was forced to leave her home country due to escalating protests and political unrest. Witness her story of resilience, courage, and hope as she navigates the challenges of seeking refuge in a new land. This video sheds light on the human side of political conflict and the impact it has on individuals and families. Sarah's Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/sarahnovog?igsh=YWl0a25qaXJmYXVm&utm_source=qr Sarah's TikTok- https://www.tiktok.com/@saraahsthing?_t=8kmfk5LCrag&_r=1 Donation Site for Nicaraguan Children: https://www.savethechildren.org/us/where-we-work/nicaragua If you have a unique story you'd like to share on the podcast, please fill out this form: https://forms.gle/ZiHgdoK4PLRAddiB9 or send an email to [e-mail] Business Inquiries please contact: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey guys, it's me Devorah. I just dropped an all new bonus episode inside my new subscription channel, We're All Insane Plus. This week's bonus episode is called My Brain was slipping into my spine. Listen now by subscribing to We're All Insane Plus inside your Spotify or Apple Podcasts app or go to we're all insane.com. Hello, my name is Sarah. I was born and raised in Nicaragua. If you don't know where Nicaragua is because a lot of people don't know where it is. It's Central America, right below Costa Rica and above Honduras and El Salvador. A lot of people confuse it with Nigeria for some reason, but it's Nicaragua. I had a pretty normal childhood growing up, I would say. I grew up with my dad, with my mom, my two older brothers and me. I'm the youngest in my family.

I went to a private French school. So I had a lot of international friends while growing up, like all over the world, especially from Europe, but a lot of people from France, Belgium, Spain, Italy, also from Africa, America, like all over the place. I really had everything I wanted while growing up. It was kind of like I ran agrounder, like I wanted, I got it. I was a little spoiled child because I was like the only girl in family and the youngest, so my dad really spoiled me. But later on in my life, my dad started making a lot of poor financial decisions, so we started struggling with money. And we lost the house we were living in. We had to moving to my grunt mother's house.

And we were able to stay in my school, in my private school, because my mom, which at the time my mom had been a stay-at-home mom, because she made the mistake that a lot of women do when they're like youngish and their men or boyfriend, whatever, he's like, oh, don't worry, I'll pay for you. Don't worry about working. I got you, babe. She made that mistake and she believed my dad when he said that. So even though my mom has two degrees, she's a lawyer, even though she's a lawyer, even though she's

She has her, you know, education. She never really did anything with it. So by that time in my life where we started struggling with money, my mom would open up her own business. She started selling food. She actually started selling smoothies and milkshicks at my house. But once that went well, she started selling food. And then she opened her own local restaurant. So she was selling at my house and she had her local going on.

Oh, that's so nice. I love that. So because of that, we were able to stay at my school. because he was like a private school so it was kind of expensive. But really my story begins in 2018. 2018 is really the year that marked my life and marked the life of a lot of Nicaragans where I'm from. So everything started in April 2018. There was some new reforms that the government had implemented.

This reforms affected the elders in my country. It was decreasing their monthly salary by 5% to be able to afford their care, so like their medical expenses. Also, it was raising the taxes for the employers and employees that they had to pay. So everybody was protesting because they were like, you know, the reason why the National Security Institute, which is the institute that takes care of the elders, the reason why this institute has no money is because the government is using the money to fund their personal expenses. to found their houses, their parties, their trips, their, you know, luxuries. So people started protesting. People were mad about that, about that change that they implemented.

And also at this time, there was some fires going on in one of the most important biological reserves in Icarawa. And the government didn't do enough to interfere in the matter. So it was like four days after the fire had started, they put an alert. So there was already acres, thousands of acres of land that had been burning by this time. So people were mad about that too. So people started protesting, and unfortunately the government didn't like this. This is the time where Nicaragua entered a sociopolitical and humanitarian crisis in the matter of days.

Because the government's actions towards the protesters, because it was a shock to everyone that their answer to our protests was with violence. so police and army went out on the streets to stop the people protesting. And so everybody's like, why? Why? Like, we're just peacefully manifesting. Why would you have to recur to violence? So at this time, even after the reform was removed, because the government ended up removing the reform that they had implemented.

Even after that, people started demanding to get the president out of power, to get the government out of power. because really, Nicarawa has been in a dictatorship since 2007, since he, the president, has been in the power. There has been no free elections because every time there's an election, he wins and nobody votes for him.

And also, Nicaragua has declined in all aspects because since he's been in power, declining politically, economically, socially in all aspects. So we just didn't want him in power anymore. And since the beginning, the fight between protesters and the people that supported the government had always been unfair because us as the people, we used homemade guns, like homemade Molotov or, you know, stones, and they used tear gas and armed guns. During the beginning of the protests, a lot of people died, unfortunately, because mainly because

of lost bullets, because, I'm sorry, mainly from lost bullets, but also, just people you know straight shooting at all the people like purposely people were shooting at each other you know it wasn't a mistake or anything um one of these people his name is alvar conrado he was only 15 years old and he got shot in the middle of his throat and the video went viral because it's a video of him where he's like in the floor crying because he's like i can't breathe i can't breathe i need help and everybody's freaking out because all he was doing it was giving out waters to the people that were walking protesting and so everybody's like freaking out i don't know you know how we help you and they called the ambulance and he fortunately passed away he was only 15 years old it's horrible yeah

people also started putting up what we called trankes which is like barriers of stones so the police trucks wouldn't pass and so people could hide behind the stones like the barriers of stones see if they were shooting. So everybody was immobilized because cars couldn't pass by. So schools were shut down, businesses were shut down. Everybody was in their houses because it was really dangerous outside. We also, a lot of people started burning buildings as a way protest. Major ships were burned down. A lot of offices of majors were burned down, but also So people that supported the government started burning media centers that were showing the truth. Like, I remember this one was by my house.

And we woke up in the morning. It was all like burned out to the ground. It was a media center called Rubendario. And overnight they did it so nobody could do anything about it. And they ended up actually killing the person who was in charge of that media center that was showing what was happening during the protests. And this was the first time that you had ever experienced something like this over there? Oh, of course. Yeah.

I was only 14 at the time. So, yeah, it was really shocking for everyone what was going on because, like I said, it went from like nothing to everything in the matter of a week. But, yeah, the government didn't want the truth out. The government didn't want to look bad. They also work. They never do. Right.

They were blaming the killings to us. Like they were like, oh, they people protesting. they are disturbing the peace. They are the ones causing all these deaths. They never took accountability for what they were doing. There was a lot of people wrongfully incarcerated because of this. And although the people never had actual guns, like they blamed us for their killings,

although we never had actual guns. So it's like, make it make sense. So young people, the students became the face of the revolution. They became the strength of our revolution. country. So also as a way of protesting, they started confining within universities as a way of like we're here and we're not going to leave. So that's kind of where I come into the story. My mom started dropping up a lot of like supplies for the students that were confining. She would, you know, bring canned food and water bottles for the students that were there because they were there for

days, weeks without being able to leave because the police were surrounding them. So they couldn't really leave once they were in there. And I remember I would beg my mom to let me go to the protests with her. And I understood that going out meant danger. I understood that it meant, you know, maybe getting killed or going to prison. But still, my mom, as a lawyer and as a woman of faith, she always taught me to fight for what is not right. She always taught me to have that heart of, you know, caring for others and to seek for justice. So we were always present when there was protests. We tried to be there.

And we would just grab our flags and our water bottle and go out with our signs. You know, government, we want you out. We want answers for all the people that have been dying and you don't do anything about it. We want change, but we are not getting any. Having a flag actually became a sign of the revolution and it became a sign of like terrorism for the government. Weirdly enough, having the sign of your own country was like a sign of getting stopped by the police and being asked, why are you, you know, wearing that flag? Where are you going with that flag? Like you couldn't wear the little flag of Nicaragua in your car because you would get pulled over and probably go to jail. And one of those examples is actually Miss Universe. This year, the winner of Miss Universe is from Nicaragua. She won Chinese Palacios. And when she won, you know, Patriotris, them. Everybody went out on the streets and we were, you know, waving our flags and we were so hyped because nothing like this has happened in our country. And the government didn't like this.

And they actually banned her from coming back to Nicaragua. They fired the person who was in charge of the Missed University of Nicaragua. And they had to exile out of the country. That is insane. Yeah. Another form of protest was also people started encoding off what we call the Trial of lives, which are tree-shaped metal structures that were placed by the government in 2013. They're about 50 feet tall. But these structures for us are considered symbols of dictatorship because they lie up. And in order to keep the streets functioning, taxes were raised. People's taxes were raised.

So we had to pay out of our own pocket, you know, keeping the streets up. And nobody liked them because they were ugly. like them and it's like why can you just not put natural trees like why do you have to put metal trees outside so we started cutting them off as a way of protest and i was actually there one time when we threw one down and it was so exciting it was so hyped when the trees were going down because everybody were running get on top of them and start jumping on them and we're like yeah because it just meant kind of like we're here and we're fighting and maybe we can get somewhere you know right yeah in another instance while we were on one of these walks or marches protesting there was thousands and thousands of people

I think there was like 30,000 people walking and we're in the middle of the protest like my mom and I were walking with our signs yelling and all of a sudden I see people running backwards running towards us and my mom and I would look at each other and I'm like what's going on and then we just started running right because everybody else is running and then we hear gunshots and we're like, okay, the police pulled up. And so we went to like a bank that was nearby and we were like trying to hide in the bank. And then I see the police truck pulled up like right at the bank. And all I see is he towards the tear gas all over on me. My throat is burning.

I cannot breathe. I'm like about to pass out. And I'm worrying because I know my mom has asthma. So I know if I'm struggling, my mom's struggling even worse. so my eyes are watering my arms are red i cannot see anything i'm trying to look for my mom i find her and then someone is passing waters she's like give it to children so they i get water like run down my face and then i hear gunshots again and i'm like i'm like what is going on like i was so scared and i just remember grabbing my mom and then my dad came out of nowhere i don't know where i don't know

where my dad came from but he helped us jump over the fence that was keeping us from you know the police and us he helped us jump over the fence and we just started running and we just could hear the people screaming behind us the gunshots the gas it was it was chaotic it was crazy and and was that the police just trying to like stop the protesting yeah yeah just trying to keep us keep us quiet that isn't like i can't believe that that's what they i mean i guess like i feel like the police kind of go to like the worst possible option sometimes of like let's just like stop it by like you said like it's more like that the violent the violence of it instead of just like you know trying to neutralize it yeah yeah for sure so that that was

it was that's why it was so confusing to us so it's like i mean i get it if you don't want us out in the streets but why do you have to recur to violence why do you have to kill us right to just stop us i don't you know we we're asking for dialogue and for conversation to change things maybe that's it. That's what we want it. Hey, I'm Jeremy Schwartz from American Criminal. On this season, robbery gone wrong or cold-blooded murder? Either way, Boston will never be the same. Listen to American Criminal, the murder of Carol Stewart,

wherever you get your podcasts. Or to get early ad free access, subscribe in Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or at American Criminal.com. Not this. There's also another. really sad story that I wanted to mention here, which it's the story of the family Velazquez Pavon. They were in the neighborhood called Carlos Marx. This family, unfortunately, died by, in the hands of the government, because they had a tree store house, right? The paramilitaries were

the snipers, actually, who were shooting at people. They had asked them if they could use the third floor of their house to get a very angle and get a very view of the students and maybe shoot them that way. Obviously they said no. They're like, we don't want you here. That night, the police came to their house, started shooting at them and burned up their house because they, you know, they say no to them using their third floor. And two children died and four adults died in that house. The children were only four. He was only three months of age. and the other children, I think he was four or three years old. And there was one survivor out of this tragedy.

She jumped off one of the floors of the house. She survived. And she claims, she's like, the government did this. I was there when they were shooting on my family, when they were trying to jump off with me. And they were like, if you jump, we're going to shoot you anyways. So I was there. And the neighbors are also witnesses because the neighbors say,

we were trying to help them and they were shooting at us as well they were pointing their guns at us as well and telling us you know if you get out we're going to shoot you anyways so it was really devastating I remember that morning when I saw that in the news I had walking up I was checking my Facebook

and I saw the story and my mom and I we started crying because it was just like wow like how can you be so heartless yeah right how can you hate on your people so much there's another protest we actually refer to it as the massacre on Mother's Day because in Nicaragua we celebrate Mother's Day on the 30th of May of March we celebrate the 30th of March and on that day we went out on the streets and it was kind of like a way to had their moms

commemorate the children that had died to this point and so everybody were black and everybody was down in the streets. We were not even holding our flags. We were just, you know, protesting to get justice for the people that had died at this point. It wasn't even to get the government out anymore. It was just kind of like we want justice now. And the grief and the pain of the people wasn't enough for the snipers and the paramilitaries and the police and the army to get to us and start shooting again. 18 people died that day and more than 200 people were injured that day. So yeah, my people and I were fragile at this point. It was really unfair fight. We, like I said, we asked for a conversation for a change and they answered with guns and

unforgettable acts that they will always, will be remembering our history. Things got really bad to the point that by July 2018, because everything was shut down, schools were shut down, businesses were shut down and remember i told you my mom my mom had a business in our house you know the main clients were university students because there was at college nearby our house um not to interrupt you sorry but so was every day at this point was it just like protesting since everything was shut down mainly mainly the students mainly that were within the universities and also the people that were hiding behind the the stone barriers they were just kept there And, you know, it was like open fire.

Okay. The police would shoot on one side and they would wait, throw the stones and then wait again in hopes to stop them from fighting, you know, in hopes of stopping them from shooting. But this whole time, everything was just closed down. Yeah. Everything, yeah, everything was down. So by July 2018, my mom took the decision to leave the country because, like I said, I mean, you can just hear it was really bad out there. There was no schools. There was no money for us anymore because my dad businesses was down and my mom's businesses were also shut down. And my mom also fear for the security for the security of my brothers because they were 16 and about 20 at this time.

And the main target for police was young people, you know. So my mom feared for them. And she took the decision to exile out of the country. We decided to move to the neighbor country, which is Costa Rica. And it was meant to be for a couple of months. It was meant to be until things got better, until, you know, this got a resolution. So we moved out of Nicaragua, and obviously we were, I remember on the bus ride to Costa Rica, we were all crying. Because it was just so much. It was the fact that we had to leave for this government that don't care about us.

us and it's just so unfair we felt so betrayed by our own people and we were hurting for all their families as well that had lost family members it was it was horrible we got to costa rica we stayed at my aunt's house for a couple months and then after i remember my mom and i would who was sleeping in a little small bed and my brothers were sleeping a inflated mattress and the mattress had holes on it so in the morning they will come in the floor and the floor because all the air was out. And after a couple of months that we had hopes that the situation in Karawa would get better and nothing got better in case it got worse, we were like,

okay, well, I guess we need to start settling down. My mom started looking for a job. We started looking for schools. So then we started getting integrated to society. We found our own place. I remember all our furniture was like, gifts from our family members or just stuff that we found on the side of the streets. But yeah, my mom actually, she had a really hard time finding a job because obviously we didn't

have any papers to legally work or work permit. So she started selling pastries, like homemade pastries that she would wake up like 3 a.m. make the little cakes that she would sell and she would leave around 5 a.m. She would be like a bus stop and selling them. But by 7 a.m. she had to leave because she ran the chances of the police getting to her and telling her to, you know, she can't be selling because she doesn't have a work permit or worst case in areas, she gets deported. So in school as well, like I wasn't doing very well. Not like educational-wise, but like socially wise.

I was really struggling to make friends. I had to walk to school. Like my brother and I, we had to walk to school because we have enough. money to cover bus the bus the school bus which wasn't for free like it's here in america we had to pay for it and the school was an hour away from my house so we had to walk every single day the way there and the way back and we also only had like one shirt and one pair of pins for our uniforms because we wore uniforms so we had to wash them every day because we were sweaty from the walking yeah and our dryer didn't even work so we have to air dry it but costa

America's climate is humid and cold, so it would never actually dry up. So we would have to wear our cold uniforms, walk to school that way. It was really bad. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Actually, my shoes were plenty of holes because of all the walking, and they were, like, cheap shoes. And I remember I got really close to my English teacher at the time because I always loved English. And I always felt connected to the American culture.

I was always listening to Brianna and, you know, pop culture. I was really into it. So I was always, you know, trying to learn English. And I got really close to her because I was like one of the only students that actually did something in her class. So she liked me. And I remember she looked at my shoes and she was like, why are your shoes that way? And I tear her like, well, I just don't want to ask my mom for new shoes because she

just has so much going on. And she was like, okay, don't worry about it. And she was like, come on, get into my car. we got into her car and she took me to pay less and she got me a pair of shoes yeah that's sweet that was sweet of her and eventually my my brother he started selling like chocolates and nuts at school so we were able to afford our bus tickets and i started doing my friend's homework for money as well hey got to do what you got to do yeah that's my little side hustle but we just barely had any money to afford living expenses. We had to ration our food as well. So at this point, I was really

depressed. I was really depressed. It was just so many changes in the last few months of my life. I mean, like I said, I went from having everything to having nothing. And on top of this, like I didn't mention where my dad didn't come with us. My dad stayed in Nicaragua. And when we left Nicodawa, my dad was completely out of the picture. It's kind of like he forgot he had children. He never provided us. He never helped us with money, so it was just my mom and us. So I went from having everything, from having a loving family to having nothing, to having a dad doesn't care about me, to having no friends, to having no social life. And I'm sure all my family felt the same, but it was just, it wasn't something that we talked about because, right? But I'm sure everybody

in my family was having a hard time. Yeah. And so moving forward, my mom had an active visa at this time. So she took the decision to come to the United States for only three months so she could get some money and she would come back to us. Because three months is like the maximum time you can stay as a tourist. So she would just work for the three months and then come back to, like I said, come back to us. So she left and it was just my brothers and I. and we were still going to school, we were still doing her thing, and she was working in, you know, the United States.

Who were you guys living with? It was just us. Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah, it was just us. Was that hard for you, not having her there? Yeah. That was, I was going to say, that was really horrible for me.

I have a horrible time for me because at this point, I mean, I had confided in my mom. I was like, you know, things are bad, but at least I have my mommy, you know? And I was like, things are bad, and I don't have my mom. so yeah definitely it was hard and i mean my brother's like they were like in their 20s and i think my brother was 16 or 17 at the time so they're in their own thing they're doing their own thing they don't care about me so i was like alone in my room and then covid hit right so i was even more alone in my room just crying all day missing my mom missing my life missing my dad missing every day did you have any contact with your mom at this point like were you guys able to stay in touch yeah yeah we would

text and so but she her work didn't allow her to you know be in her phone so we had barely any contact and when she would get home i understand she's tired so she's going to bed so obviously it was kind of like we would get a phone call from us from her and be like hey how are you guys doing okay just like checking it yeah and then you know goodbye yeah so my mom eventually she overstayed her three months. She stayed in the United States because she started her process as a political refugee here. So in order to get her work permit and to get her social security and all that. So she started working. She actually had a good job that was, you know, bringing her some money. So we were doing better economically, but like mentally we were doing really bad. So my mom's

notice that. And she was like, you know what? You're coming. with me. I'm going to bring you here to the United States. And I was, I actually had a activist as well. So I was able to fly to here and stay here. And at this time, also my mom fell in love. She met my stepdad. And now he's like, he's like my dad. Like I really love him. He's one of the persons that I love the most. And he helped my mom bring me to the United States. So when I came here, I mean, I didn't want to come here. I do not. I was terrified. of coming here because it was kind of like that realization of shit I got to do this again you know I got to start school again I got to make friends again I got to get used to this new family because my step that had you know children of his own so it's kind of like I got to get used to this family

that I don't know this language that I'm not familiar with because Spanish is my first language so it was just kind of like I do not want to come but my mom was like well you don't have no choice you're coming with me. So when I came here, you know, my step that he gave me a bed, he gave me food. Like, that's why I'm really grateful for him because he gave me a good start. And then I signed up for school. I started school here in the middle of my sophomore year. And as well, it was really hard. It wasn't hard only because I was new to the country, but it was hard for me because of the language barrier. I wasn't really good in English. So I remember actually, I was really good in English. So I remember actually I would use the voice note in my phone and I would record like my teachers in

their classes and I would like transcribe everything when I came home that way that's kind of how I got you know up to the date on my classes but in class I would be so quiet and I was like I have no idea what this people are states that's good though that you were doing that yeah yeah putting in the effort thank you I started getting heavy into duolingo I literally think thankful to Duolingo because they really helped me a lot with the English. And did your brothers come over here too? They stayed. No, they stayed. Yeah, they stayed. But yeah, so I started slowly improving my English, slowly making friends, slowly getting used to this new life. And then in my junior year, I was feeling more confident. Eventually, I got a job. I don't know.

a restaurant, I got my license, I got a car, I was doing well in school, I joined the weightlifting team, and I even gave myself the chance of start dating. But I was still getting used to this new life, you know, and I was trying to feel like I belong here. And I started dating this guy. I was really in love with him. I mean, he always told me how proud he was my culture and my background, and I really believed him. He had issues with substance abuse. Like, he drank a lot more than his body could handle. And I remember after nine or eight months of us dating,

I had him come over to my house at night, like my parents, you don't know he was coming over. And he was drunk. And he started yelling at so many things at me, like, oh, you don't love me, you hate me, you're fake. And I'm like, like, what is going on with you? Like, you're, you know, you're my boyfriend. Like, why are you acting this way?

And then he was yelling so much to the fact that I was like, you know, you need to keep your voice shut because my mom doesn't know you're here. And my mom finds you here. I'm going to get in trouble. You're going to get in trouble. Then he was like, you know what? I don't care. He left the house, but he was like 3 a.m. in the morning.

And he was like, I'm going to walk home. His house is like an hour away from my house. And I know his broke ass doesn't have money for an Uber. And he doesn't. He doesn't... My God. He doesn't have a car either. So I'm like, you know what?

I'm going to offer him to give him a ride to his house. But before that, I'm going to have to call him down because he's like saying all the things. And then I brought him to my house in order to like try to keep him calm down. But then unfortunately he started getting physically abusive to me. Like he started choking me and saying like, I know people like you. I know people like you. people like you just want to hurt other people and I'm like what are you talking about but at the same

time like I'm like getting choked I'm like you know running out of air and I'm like freaking out because this is like this man is telling me like I know people like you and I'm not going to let you hurt anybody so I'm thinking oh this is it for me I was like he's gonna kill me but then he like I was like let me go let me go he let me go and then I was like I need to take you to your house like you need to get out of here so the way I like persuade him into getting to my car because he didn't want to get into my car. I was like, baby, it's okay. Baby, it's going to be fine. You know, my love, I'll take care of you. Baridida, and he believed it. So I took him in my car. And honestly, the worst part of everything was the right to his house because he started calling me

names. He started calling me all sorts of names that I have not worth mentioning. And he said this thing that really stood with me and really affected me in my process of figures. out my personality, my identity as an immigrant, he said, how is it possible that you, how is it possible that my mother who was raised and born in this country has less opportunities than you as a fucking immigrant? And so when I heard those words, like my heart shattered because it's like, this is the man that I led into my life that knows my family, knows my culture, knows how of a soft spot this, you know, this is to me. He knows that I'm still struggling to get adapted to this country and he comes to say

these things. Like, it was just, it was really hard on me. Yeah. So after that, I was like, well, you know, I need to start working on myself. I need to start working on myself's theme because it really affected me. And I realize if the worst of a man can affect me so bad, it's because I'm letting them have control over me and control over my life. So I was like, I need to start working on myself.

Take your power back. Right. So I was like, I need to start working on myself. You know, I started doing even more better at school than I graduated with honors. I had amazing friends. And I just kind of had my life get together slowly but surely. And then like I said, I graduated. I am now in college.

I'm a pharmacy technician. I got my job going on. My brothers eventually, they actually came to the United States. They came here about a year ago, so now they're here with us. And I was going to ask, do you have any contact with your dad or no? I do have contact with my dad. He sometimes calls me, but he is the type of that. He's like, the phone works both ways, you know.

So it's kind of like I barely. But he's still over there. Yeah, he's still in Nicaragua. Yeah. And also another reason why we. weren't able to go back to Nicaragua once we were in Costa Rica. It's because he also lost the house that my grandmother had gave us. So we had anywhere to come back. So we decided to just stay in Costa Rica. Do you guys have any plans on going back over to visit? Yes. But because we are

in the process as political refugees, we're not really allowed to. But hopefully, now that my married she my mom married a citizen i hope that can change something yeah you know give us a chance to go back to nicarawa because do you have other family over there i do but it's my grandmother mainly and my friends you know but the nicarra the situation in nicarawa never really got a resolution so that is all that still going on the protests had stopped okay the protests are stopped now but i'm saying he's still in power there's still no justice for those families that suffer lost of any kinds right and our it's just kind of it feels really heart-shattering because we it's kind of like all that effort and for what you know like our voices weren't heard and it just kind of feels like we gave all this

sacrifice for nothing according to the inter-american commission of human rights there were least 355 people that lost their lives during these times. More than 100,000 people that had to emigrate out of Nicaragua. And according to the Organization of American States, more than 2,000 people got injured during this time. But I know and I know that all Nicaragans, we will never forget, you know, and we still are fighting. Even if I'm not there, I'm still claiming for a free Nicaragua.

I want freedom in my country. I want justice for all those people that never got justice. And I hope one day we can get answers. And I hope one day we get a free Nicaragua. Yeah. And I think, too, it's important to you to be able to one day go back and forth and visit and, you know, go to where you're from and be proud of that and not feel like you're scared or like, you know, there's anything, anything that involves danger for yourself, for your family

or anything of the sort. Yeah, definitely. But I wish my story also serves as a way to demonstrate that, because there's a lot of stigma, a lot of immigrants. And I just hope someone listens to this and realize that a lot of us, we never wanted to leave our country, you know, it's not like we had a, it wasn't a choice for us. It was kind of like a forced choice that we, I mean, a force decision that we had to take, leave our country. Like, I mean, I still, I wish I could go back there and be with my family and be with my friends. But I didn't have that choice because it was our safety or that, you know. And it just, that's no way to live.

Right. Like, everyone deserves opportunity and education and, you know, a career, all of that stuff. Exactly. And it's just kind of like, I know other people might be like, oh, but why we would. where you put it in yourself in danger? Why were you going out on the streets? But it's just kind of like when you see injustice happen in front of your eyes, I mean, at least for me, it's really hard for me to stay still.

Right. Just let that happen. And I think it's everyone's choice if you want to stand up for what you believe or not. Right. And if you don't want to, then don't. But for those that choose to, like, let them. Right, exactly. And you weren't being violent, so it's fine.

Exactly. And even at a young age, because, I mean, I was 14 when I was, you know, going to protest and everything. Even at a young age, I could understand these. And I never wish things happen, you know, I never wish for things to happen the way they happened. Like I said, I never wished I had to leave my country. I never, I know some people might be like, oh, you know, why they come into our country

or taking our jobs and everything. But it's kind of like, have you ever put yourself in their positions or wonder why actually they're here, you know? Exactly. I don't think a lot of people have that empathy towards each other. Absolutely. You know, and it's really heartbreaking to see so many people would point their fingers at each other, judge each other for no reason, you know.

And I think it's important to, you know, you coming on here and sharing not only your story, but your personal experience and the feelings that you had because there is a lot of young individual, there's a lot of young individuals that, you know, have come over here and most likely, if not definitely, feel the same way that you have and felt like, you know, it's hard to find yourself and figure out who you are. And starting over that many times at such a young age is so confusing and not easy. And then on top of it, like, on top of just starting over, because even starting over, state to state is hard. So like starting over in a different country, not knowing the language that well, not having friends, you know, it's a lot of

pressure and I think it can be I mean it is extremely scary and I feel like it makes you put you in this vulnerable position because you want to learn and open yourself up to everything but you don't even know your surroundings or what's going on exactly which is so challenging and I feel like you serve as this pillar of hope for so many people that are going to come over or have come over and are still kind of feeling these ways because I think that takes a lot of years and just kind of real life experience to kind of, like you said, gain your confidence and find that and on your own. That can be really difficult because that's a time that you want to lean on people.

And like, even like you said with being in a relationship, that is something that helps you learn too. So it's like, of course you opened yourself up to that. And I think that that can be great. And unfortunately, it was with a piece of shit. But, you know, and I just think that it really, you serve as a pillar of hope to people that are still finding their way. and kind of navigating through their lives and finding who they are. And it gives them courage. And you're still so young and it's all still so fresh.

So you have so much more opportunities ahead of you as well, which is important. It's those sweet words. Thank you so much. Oh, you're welcome. It's true. But yeah, I mean, I wish, like you said, I wish someone out there listening that might be going through my same experience or any similarities that they might find with my story. I just want to say, like, you are definitely stronger than what you think you are. that's something I learned throughout my life so many times where it's like I feel like I cannot do it enough I just feel like so overwhelmed with so many feelings there's always that little

light in you that's like you know you can keep going you can keep going you can do anything right anything you can set your mind to you can do yes absolutely well thank you so much for having me of course for listening to my story of course you did it amazing and thank you so much for sharing your story and your experience it means so much to me. I'm so glad you wanted to do it on this show. But no, you did a great job.